The Unmade Podcast - 49: Something Borrowed, Something Blue

Episode Date: June 19, 2020

Tim and Brady discuss Rock’n’Roll, the big list reading, assorted objects from our houses, and an honour is bestowed. YouTube version of this episode - https://youtu.be/98Jiw7_8Ucg Register your domain names with Hover - and get 10% off your first purchase by going to hover.com/unmade - https://www.hover.com/unmade Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/unmadeFM Join the discussion of this episode on our subreddit - https://redd.it/hcb2mo USEFUL LINKS The Patreon Name Reading Extravaganza - https://www.unmade.fm/patron-list-reading SPOILER - this link will take you to ALL the photos and objects for today’s show on one page - https://www.unmade.fm/episode-49-pictures Hear Tim’s KFC Complaint Letter - https://www.unmade.fm/episodes/special-writing-to-complain Colonel Sanders Wikipedia - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colonel_Sanders Buy a ‘Colonel Tim Mug’ or other merch - https://teespring.com/colonel-tim-unmade-podcast?pid=659&cid=102910 Ammonoidea - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ammonoidea Professor Merrifield’s backyard astronomy - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glOWZoFnB8w Brady's loaner telescope is from Unistellar - https://unistellaroptics.com Delftware - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delftware Love Stones at Jishu Shrine - http://www.deepjapan.org/a/3438 Patreon exclusive: Pic of Brady walking between the Love Stones - https://www.patreon.com/posts/38373561 The Mall’s Balls - https://www.rundlemall.com/visit/things-to-do/the-malls-balls A Kentucky Colonel - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kentucky_Colonel Unmade Colonel Zach- assuming he accepts the honour - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUg9iaUncbwv5BMaHmoZ3ZQ Harland - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harland Harland Williams in Dumb & Dumber - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RD2YJrvd71Y

Hi everyone, a quick pre-show message. In today's episode we talk about a lot of pictures, photos and also objects that Tim and I both have with us in our offices. Now we are making a podcast, we are well aware of that and we do our best to describe what we're holding, what we're looking at. You don't need to see them but if you want to see them there will be lots of links and pictures and whatnot in the description, in the notes, and also the YouTube version of the podcast. We put all the podcasts on YouTube. We'll have all the different pictures and things coming up on screen at the relevant time.

So this would be a good episode to consume via the medium of YouTube. Search for The Unmade Podcast on YouTube, or again, I'll put a link in the notes. Thanks, everyone. Here we go. Ready to rock and roll? I was about to say the same thing and I am. Really? Ready to rock and roll. Do you think we are rock and roll? Are we more rock than roll? I think we roll. We roll well. I don't think we rock. What's the difference between rocking and rolling? Well, historically, it's the type of dancing associated with music.

But in Tim land, rolling means you're pretty cool and smooth. Rock means you're pretty hot and loud. And I think we're cool. Yeah. So, rock is the more hot-headed, tempestuous, emotional part of it. Indeed. And roll is the kind of cool James Dean, you know, Boulevard of Broken Dreams. Yeah.

Yeah. Tim Hine, Brady Haran kind of, you know. Yeah. Luke Perry, Brandon Dillon. Yeah. All right. I'd take roll. Yeah.

I mean, I think of myself roll more lazy, more like rock and lazy than rolling. But yeah. I like to think of myself as rock in the early years, but now I'm moving into the sort of the roll years. Right. I've taken things a bit more easy, just a bit more mature. So your first autobiography was called Tim the Rock Years, and then your later one's going to be called Tim the Roll Years. That's right. That's right. That's right.

And then the third one, I guess, is called the Rocking Chair years. Boom, boom. You've gone very quiet, man. Oh, yeah, cool. Sometimes my sound device just decides, you know what? I'm going to change the levels. That's helpful. It's not like your entire job and vocation is based on recording accurately and properly.

Just my audio settings are very rock and roll. Oh, that's right. They just do what they want. Do you ever play with feedback? Do you ever get at the end of a conversation and just a recording and just like, just let the feedback go? Sometimes at the end of a really big podcast, I like to just smash my microphone against the wall to end the podcast.

Hey, wouldn't it be a brilliant podcast to do it where you both set fire to your microphones and you just podcast for as long as you can until they stop working? How rock and roll would that be? Jimi Hendrix style. That's right. Just here we go. Set your microphones on fire.

Yeah! How's it going? Woo-hoo! Just the sound of two guys kind of burning their upper lips until finally the sound cuts out. That is rock and roll. Yeah, totally. Wow.

All right. So a bit of housekeeping and things to tell people about. Yeah. Very exciting news, everyone. We have finally released the reading of the Patreon names. Tommy Ball Tim came into the studio for us and read through over 600 names. Yep. We're not releasing it into the normal podcast feed as like a whole podcast.

The whole podcast goes for about 33, 34 minutes. And a lot of it is reading, but there is a bit of talk before and after and a bit of joking around during it. So, it's a good fun listen. It's especially good fun if you are on the list, of course. But if you want to go and listen to it, it's on YouTube. it's also on our website and i'll put all the links in the description and stuff like that if you want to go and check it out but we had really good fun doing it and uh here's a here's a little sample i'll just play a short sample of what it sounds like to give you a bit of a feel for it michael There we go. So check it out if you want to.

Smooth stuff, I tell you what. Impressive. I was impressed by your performance, Tim. I was impressed. You kept your energy up for most of it some i've edited out some of your more creative pronunciations but uh i still guarantee there's probably going to be about a 30 to 40 percent pronounce mispronunciation rate well i hope i haven't offended anybody i i genuinely did my best on multiple takes on some names. Yes, multiple, multiple takes on some of them.

Gee, there's some impressive names, I tell you. Impressive. There are. There are. Beautiful. I'll tell you why this has been an interesting experience from my perspective. I deal with Patreon names a lot, you know, on different projects, and I have to curate lists all the time and that.

And after a while, you become familiar with some of the names, particularly ones that have been around a while and you've had some contact with. And you kind of feel like you know them, even though you've never met them. But I feel like this particular patron list now, I've really bonded with because I spent a long time putting it together and ordering it

and getting it and getting it all made for Tim. Then I sat with Tim while he read them all. And some of them, we read multiple times to get them right. And then I edited it several times to take out mistakes and get the flow and get everything right. And then I went through it at least two or three times to make sure we hadn't missed any. So, I was like listening to Tim read them while reading the names. And then for the videos on YouTube and social media, I decided to put the names in text on the screen and have them rolling on the screen while Tim was saying them. So, I had to fiddle with all these names as text a lot. And it's like revising for an exam.

And I feel like, like, I always feel like I know these names off by heart now. It's crazy. And I feel like, like, I always feel like I know these names off by heart now. It's crazy. Do you feel like you're like their family? Like you're their mother and they're your little ducklings? And if one was missing, you'd be worried about where it was and how it was going? Yes. Yes, I would.

So please don't un-patron us. Stay on the list. Join the list if you like. There are going to be lots of reasons to be a Patreon supporter And next time I will read the list Tim will have the role of helper Checker Pronunciation

Guide Any more reflections on that? How did you recover? You must have been exhausted afterwards Well I really actually quite enjoyed it And it was In the way that it sounds quite meditative to listen to, like all the names moving through and the lovely music and so forth. It was a little bit like that doing it. But I remember doing a whole lot of them and then looking at the list and where I was up to and realising, oh, wow, that's like 10%.

oh, wow, that's like 10%. You never really find yourself reading out names for the first time in a row and so many of them. But I did enjoy it, I have to say. Even though we edited it down, you know, because with all the guff removed, it's half an hour and it's pretty tight and nice. It took us about an hour, which is a long time just to sit and read one name after another. But I tried to put everything into it as I could and think about the name and the person

and pronounce it properly. And I enjoyed it. I literally enjoyed it. The thing I think about is like you, you obviously, you know, could have a drink occasionally, but also, you know, you'd make mistakes and we do it multiple times and you'd think, oh, no, I'm not happy with that. Let me do that one again. What must it be like for people at like graduation ceremonies

where there's like students from all over the world with all sorts of names from different cultures? You can only say it once. You've got to do it live. All the families are there. Like I have a whole new respect for those sort of vice chancellors and university bosses and that that sit there and read out names at graduation ceremonies.

That's high stakes. high stakes particularly because and because i work at a tertiary institution i have some experience at this although with with um you know there's not there's certainly not 600 names being read out at a graduation but um you do go particularly because often the person who's presenting or the person reading there might be a person who's not familiar with the student. All the lecturers know them inside out, know them, you know, spend hours with them, but perhaps someone else doesn't. And so sometimes there's a little bit of checking just, and now we're inviting this person to come and speak. And this person is like, let's get this right, because it's a formal occasion. Everyone's dressed up like they're at Hogwarts and hour after hour.

I'll tell you what happened as well. and everyone's dressed up like they're at Hogwarts and hour after hour. I'll tell you what happened as well. The other thing is because you're taking a drink and you've spoken a lot during the day and then we'd recorded some other stuff and then you're talking and so you're sort of unaware of how dry your mouth's getting but also as it goes, where your voice is at and how high it's getting. So you know how when you

when you run out of puff you sort of get higher and higher and so you're john smith simon kent and i'm trying to be like sarah jones sorry sarah jones and i'd have to come right back down go back a few names and just bring it back bring it bring it back down to space. I need some water. There we go. There you go. So speaking of Patreon supporters, I have had a message from one of them, which I thought I would share with you, Tim, and all the civilians out there because I found it very interesting. Please.

So let me read this to you. This comes from Andrew. Hi, Brady and Tim. I'm a listener from Louisville, Kentucky, USA, where KFC originated and where Colonel Harlan Sanders is buried. Whoa. After listening to Tim's complaint letter

to KFC South Pacific, I decided to undertake a pilgrimage to the final resting place of Colonel Sanders and play back Tim's letter for him directly. I went early in the morning so that no one would see me playing a podcast for a bronze bust, but still managed to attract a few quizzical looks from bewildered groundskeepers. I took a selfie at the site to prove that I made the pilgrimage. And Tim, I'm going to send to you in a minute a picture of Andrew next to Colonel Sanders' grave holding up his podcast player playing it.

I'm not certain what the Colonel might be able to do at this point, having died 40 years ago this year, but I figured that if he can help Tim receive his KFC gold card, then I had to try. I would like to think that Colonel Sanders lives on in each piece of KFC chicken served around the world and prepared with the secret recipe of 11 herbs and spices. Thanks so much and keep up the great podcasting. All the best, Andrew.

That's a classic. I'm not sure if I do like the idea of him living on in each piece around the world. I get where his heart's at there, but that image doesn't strike me. Should I text or email you this picture? Email it, yeah. All right, hang on. Oh, it's arrived. Here we go.

Oh, marvellous. Yeah. Wow, there's Andrew. Well, that's an appropriately impressive memorial gravestone for the Colonel. This morning I went down a huge internet wikipedia rabbit hole reading about colonel sanders and can i just say that guy had an amazing life and if you've ever got some spare time do read about colonel sanders because it's ridiculous really he is like he led

a life that man the kfc was actually quite a late part of his life wow i won't go into all the details but he was a lawyer at one point But he had to stop being a lawyer after getting into a brawl in the courtroom With his client So It sounds like he was a bit of a hothead And later on in life when he didn't fully own KFC anymore But he was still like the mascot and the spokesman

He started getting a bit funny about KFC And thought that they'd lost their way and they weren't making the chicken right anymore. And he didn't like the way they were doing gravy. And he used to go on all these public rants or he'd go into KFC stores that he thought weren't doing a good job and like give them a piece of his mind. Wow. Or sometimes a three piece of his mind. And I think you have encapsulated that spirit in your letter to kfc you know like the colonel you are a man that loves kfc but if the standards aren't being met you're willing to speak your mind indeed indeed going into stores and right well sending a quiet letter to the um

ceo that's that's interesting to hear the you, there should be a film made about the great colonel. You know, we've had the founder about, you know, Ray Kroc and the McDonald brothers and so forth. Well, why isn't there something about the colonel? I can't believe there's not. After the show, you go and read his story and it will knock your socks off. I will. I will. Also, this reminds me, a little while ago now, I had a piece of art commissioned that I wanted to share with you as well. Right.

Should I email that to you as well? Oh, do, yes. I don't know if it's entirely in its finished form yet. Right. But you know me, I love a new piece of merch and a T-shirt and a sticker and stuff like that. I can't help myself. At my expense, yes. Yeah, well, not always at your expense, but usually.

And this is no exception. Right, okay. Tell me what you think of this piece of artwork. It's done by Pete, who's an artist that works with me. I just couldn't get this image out of my head, and I had to make it a reality. Not having the skills to make it a reality, I had Pete make it a reality. All right, to make it a reality i had pete make it a reality

all right emails come in here we go double click that is magnificent. That is really... Well, that is something else. I mean, I really want to wrap up on it. That is fantastic. Well done. Well done indeed. Seeing this as a podcast and a primarily audio medium do you want to share with the share with the civilians oh indeed yes well well what this

is is you'd have to everyone can imagine quickly the colonel as we know him in the red and white the logo the kfc logo and um and you can also remember the shroudroud of Tim from a few weeks ago. And if you combined those images, you'd end up with a red and white KFC logo with someone who bears a sneaky resemblance to Timbo. Wow, look at that. I've Timified the KFC logo so the kernels become Tim-like. I like those frames. They're nice frames, actually.

They're a little bit different. Oh, they're not the Dieter New Yorkers. No, I think there's something different about them. There's a creative license and I like it. I wonder if I could. I'll have a word to Pete. Maybe Pete could send you the designs and you can 3D print something. Send them to Dieter and get them made up.

Well, that's impressive. That is fantastic. I reckon that's got to be at least a sticker. Oh, yeah, or a bucket. We've got to sell buckets of them. Oh, no, a mug, yeah. I'll put that on a mug. That will look great on a mug because it'll look like a KFC bucket

on a white mug. I love it. I love it. I've got the two pictures open now, i've got i've got that logo and then i've got andrew at the uh at the colonel's uh grave yep it is funny seeing the colonel in sort of a bronze bust it's it's so funny because it's like a face that's so familiar from everywhere but it's it's actually the smallest image of the colonel you likely to see, you know, compared to how many KFCs and buckets and logos and signs there are. It's quite understated, but certainly more understated

than the Tim. Maybe I'll put this on the pulpit now. Pulpit. The pulpit has a sticker on there now. The proper unmade podcast pulpit sticker. You should get a huge, huge, like, you know, giant bucket made with that on it and put it on top of your church. Or just the face of whoever's preaching that Sunday.

That's right. On a giant bucket. Lovely work. I love it. That's, On a giant bucket Lovely work I love it That's I'm sure Well I think I know What your two daughters Are getting for Christmas

Oh indeed We have our show sponsor Back for this episode Awesome Very exciting news Very exciting news Yes This is Hover Hover The place to go the place what do

you do with hover tim even you know what hover is hover yes no absolutely it's where it's the only place you would go to to buy domain names it's fantastic and it feels so heartwarming to have them again like i feel like they're an old friend now it's wonderful uh so if you need a domain name people and you should have you should i have a whole collection of domain names for projects i work on future ideas just little just recently i was thinking of even a few little joke projects i'd like to do and i would like to have a domain name for first place i went hover register the names bang grab the name let's see what names are available. Have you got any secret words from any secret people today? I do, but okay, I have no words. The words are no and words.

So I have no words. I was given a very specific task tonight. They're playing around with you, aren't they? They are. They are. Let's see if nowords.com is available on Hover. And now we've ruined it as well. I was going to genuinely slip in nowords at some stage,

but now we have made it explicit. Although you sort of drove me to it, yes. Yeah, it's not your fault. Well, there we go. Nowords.com.au is for sale. Nowords.com.au for, which is the Australian domain name, $19.99. Add to cart. There we go.

Bang. Get it. That could be a present for the girls. You could say, not only did I get your words on the show, I bought you the words. You now own the words. We should buy a domain and list all the words and people can go and read the words oh yeah what the girls words yes like the like the girls words.com oh yeah yeah the girls words.com and all the all the words they've ever had that's available for 12.99

the girls words.com. Add to cart. Brilliant. So, if you've got like an idea or a thing that you want to do, having a cool domain name for it is super helpful. Because like it's just easier to communicate. Like on a podcast, you can say, oh, if you want to go and check out my thing, rather than giving them some convoluted website, go and have a look at, you know, documents.org. Slash 43872.438 slash whatever. You can just give people a domain name like thegirlswords.com, timhine.ninja, whatever it is. People can go and do it. Hover is a great way to buy, administer, do all the stuff you need to do

with domains. I cannot recommend it highly enough. By the way, Tim, thegirlswords.online is on sale, $4.99. That's like loose change. That's an iced coffee. Well, it is about an iced coffee. That's true. So I've got to choose. Do I get this or do I get another iced coffee? I'm going to get this.

All right. But not only are these super cheap but if you go to hover.com slash unmade you will get 10 off your first purchase hover.com slash unmade 10 off and also the people at hover that look at like where people came from when they buy domains will go, oh, my goodness, these people came from the Unmade podcast. The Unmade podcast is awesome. We're going to sponsor them more. And then Tim and I are going to go, that's awesome. If we've got a sponsor, we're going to make even more episodes.

And it's just going to be this like endless feedback loop. And there's just going to be episodes. You're going to have 10 episodes of the Unmade podcast a day at some point. Brilliant. Thanks, Hover. Tim's in stunned silence at the idea of having to make 10 podcasts a day. You always pause at the end waiting for me to jump in with some sort of amazing wrap-up,

like I'm going to start singing Goodnight Australia. No. I'll tell you what. Tim, if you're not going to say something clever and you've left me with no other option i'm going to play this ad out for the piece of music Should we get on with some ideas? We're just a bit out of time, so we probably haven't got time for any podcast ideas today. Oh, no, that's all right. That's all right. Can I just say one thing?

Harland. What a magnificent first name Harland is. Yeah. It sounds like it could be a nation, couldn't it? And yet it's the first name of the colonel. All right. Let's go. Ideas.

Who's going first? it's the first name of the colonel. All right, let's go. Ideas. Who's going first? Who's going first? You've asked me to bring some props in and I'm surrounded by props. All right, we'll do my idea first. All right. All right. So, Tim, here's my idea for a podcast. This falls into the genre of that kind of podcast that things like Desert Island Discs falls into, podcast that things like Desert Island Discs falls into where you have guests and you use different devices and techniques to talk to the guest. And my device and technique to talk to the guest is to get the guest to bring four objects with them from their own life, from their house, from their office, wherever, four of their possessions, and to talk about those four possessions on the show. And the device I'm using, the gimmick I'm using,

is a saying, a tradition that many people will be familiar with, and that is something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. Ah, yes, yes. So many people will know this. It's a wedding. It's a Western wedding tradition where the bride should be wearing or have on their person in some way, something old, something new,

something that they have borrowed and something that is blue in colour. So, we're going to use that gimmick, but it's got nothing to do with weddings or brides or anything like that. It could be a man or a woman who's a guest on the show. And they just bring in four objects that fulfill that criteria. And I warned Tim, this is what I want to talk about. And I asked him to have four such objects with him. And I, too, have four such objects with me here in my office.

And I thought we would discuss our four objects each to give you an idea to give us an idea how this would work and if it would be a successful format so there's no wedding tonight is that what you're saying there is no wedding I have not sprung a surprise on you and although I was going to say I haven't you know a surprise priest to do a wedding but you could do a wedding so we already have the we already have the required indeed I do weddings do weddings, but I put my suit on. But anyway, I needn't have got dressed up. This is merely theoretical. Yes.

All right. So who's going to go through their four objects first? Are we going to do it together or what do you reckon? Well, why don't we do it together with the old. Where do you start? You start with something old. Is that right? Something old.

Something old is first, yep. So what's something old did you bring in besides your good self? Well, I brought in, you know, because we're halfway through, as folks know, we've been selling our house. So we're living in a rented house and most stuff's in storage. And so I'm a bit limited to what I would normally have, but I have brought in something pretty cool, which is an old suitcase containing all my dad's old hairdressing equipment.

Nice. Yeah. So I've got it here. Oh. So I've got it here. People will hear the suitcase. Did you hear that opening? Nice.

Yeah. Nice action. Nice action. Dad's had this like forever. And when he used to do my hair when I was a kid, you know, I'd go find this, pull it out. And the first thing is a classic barber's white sort of cloak, you know, gown that they wear, cunning hair. And so, there's a couple of those with it's sort of a faded off white material and that's pretty nice pretty old school with sort of dad's

name embroidered on the left pocket and and then the next thing i can see is a beautiful old brush and then there's a now what do you call these? It's a belt for sharpening razor blades. Do you know what I'm talking about there with a handle at one end and it's leather and, you know, you shape it back and forth. So there's one of them there, which is pretty cool. But all the old, it's really lovely, old scissors and old combs. There's a really old electric razor in here. And then this is something that always really impressed me when I was a kid. I'd always get this out and play combs. There's a really old electric razor in here. And then this is something that always really impressed me when I was a kid. I'd always get this out and play with it.

There's an old, like a razor in here for, you know, doing like the bits around your neck and stuff. But you have to, it's like shears, like, so it's back before electricity and you have to actually pump it in your wrist back and forward, back and forward. So it's like- What's that noise? That's what I'm doing. I'm doing it.

Ah. Okay. Is it doing that nice and close to the microphone? Yep. Good man. Oh, yeah. So you actually had to shear, like scissors, but to actually get it as fast as a razor blade trying to do someone's name.

But there's no motorization or power at all. That's just you, like, opening and closing your hand, it that's right that's right yep and dad's it like almost like one of those things from the gym you know the exercise squeezing back and forward little oh yeah yeah and dad told me when he first left school at like grade six and became a hairdresser like it was like the first few months were basically just they hand you one of these and they say get to work and basically just practicing getting the muscles in your hand up faster and faster so you're doing other things all day like sweeping and making coffee and stuff but basically you're just doing that all day long getting your hand ready to do it fast enough to be able to

actually you know shave someone's neck so this is kind of a bunch of old stuff and they're old boxes with bath soap and yeah so this is something that i found early what do you do with it now where what's its position in your life and house now yeah i mean people will probably know tim's dad passed away quite a while ago now and you know we we talk of him often and love him very much but what do you do with all his old gear now oh look, look, I treasure this. And it has been in my bedroom just as a little pile of suitcases that I have with little things in them, old antique suitcases. But I'm hoping in a new place, we've just bought a new place actually

when we move into it, to have it somehow displayed in a pretty cool way, you know, like in a display cabinet with, you know, some things that are pretty cool., you know, like in a display cabinet with, you know. Nice. Some things that are pretty cool. I've got like an ad framed. It's like an old ad advertisement from the newspaper. And I've got that frame so that could be nearby on the wall. What's the ad for?

Sorry, for the hairdressing shop. Oh, right. So, he used to advertise in the newspaper, did he? Yeah. What was his hairdresser called? Did he have one of those classic hairdresser names? Like, you know, super cuts with a Z and stuff? that's right like hair machine and yeah this is the 1960s of barber no it's just called jerry's yeah jerry's with a z jerry's with a z jerry's hair-a-rama

that's right nice i can't think of a funny hairdresser name playing on jerry's you picked the one word in the world that can't be turned into a hairdressing pun yeah that's right well maybe that's why he went with it he's yeah he changed his name to jerry so that he wasn't forced to yeah all right there we go so there's a bunch of old stuff here that's very old some of this stuff here would be back early in the 20th century I love the idea of going to Jerry's for my haircut It's like cheers I'm just imagining like Norm and Cliff and everyone are there

Well he talks about this is back in the day when people would go for a shave as well So sometimes you'd see people a few times a week And you also bought cigarettes there That was the primary place to buy cigarettes And men's aftershave. So people would come in for their smokes, you know, those sorts of things. It was somewhere where you might go semi-regularly as a man in the, this is in Holland originally, I guess, but then here as well in Australia

when he came here. Nice one. Good choice. I like that. Doesn't get any older than this. Well, I have managed to find the one thing that is older than your dad. Right. Because I've taken it really seriously, and I've gone super old,

and I've gone with a fossil that I keep on the shelf. I don't know how old it is, but it's a fossil of... I believe these are called aminoids. They're these extinct marine mollusks. It kind of looks like a giant snail shell, spirally and ridged. And obviously it's a fossil, so it's sort of set in stone. It sits on my shelf. I just bought it.

I don't know where I bought it, actually. I just saw it in a shop selling fossils and liked and wanted one and bought it. So I wanted to have something very very old for my old object that's what i've brought with me do you know what it's a fossil of or is it it's a fear it's a thing called an aminoid it's like a marine mollusk it's like a if you google amino aminoid a double m o n o i d yeah cool yep So, that looks like a fossil. When it sits on my shelf, it sort of has a sort of a depression in the middle that is just the perfect size to balance on it. And what I keep on it is a perfect sphere that was sent to me as a present from my brother-in-law of copper. It's a

beautifully pure copper sphere that I think it weighs exactly a kilogram it's just like a gimmicky gift to give someone a kilogram of perfect copper it's very beautiful looking uh it's starting to sort of lose its perfect shine now which I quite like and that sits in it as on display and I and to me I like that as well because to me that's a very old thing as well because when I see a perfect lump of metal like that i'm reminded that all elements including all the copper atoms in this kilogram of copper were forged in a supernova of a star goodness knows how many millions and millions and millions if not billions of years ago i know all elements were made that way so everything's old by that definition but when

you see it all together in a lump it just just reminds me of this, like, you know, age of the universe type stuff. Yeah. So, they're my two very old objects sitting together on the shelf. Gosh. Wow. Just to think, all the way back then, there was nothing but that supernova and Dad and his hairdressing salon.

That's right, yeah. It was like, yeah, come to Jerry's and watch the Big Bang. Watch the universe expand. And have a smoke. I'd love the idea that at the heart of the universe at its very origin is just sort of, you know, an ageing Dutch man with a cigarette in his mouth and sort of complaining about something.

A grumpy Dutchman complaining about the noise. What is that big bang? What is that? That's cool. That's cool. Do you know what part of the world the fossil comes? The olden days. I don't.

I don't. It was an impulse buy. I have no great research or anything to share about it. So, something new. Okay. Well, something new I've got is the most recent thing that I have bought, which is a Bluetooth shower speaker. Oh, I thought it was going to be a KFC three-piece feed and a carton of iced coffee.

Well, actually, I've got an iced coffee here, so that is technically the most recent thing. A Bluetooth shower speaker. Yeah, yeah. I was out, we were out shopping yesterday, and I wanted to get a Bluetooth speaker for my office to play music, and I just was looking for a reasonably cheap one, and I found this one, and it was so cheap, and it was for the shower, and I thought, oh, I'll grab two, and I'll put one in the shower so cheap and it was for the shower and i thought oh i'll grab two and i'll put one in the shower so it was a bit of a spontaneous buy so i bought two and um i've i've got one here that's still boxed so i can do a live unboxing would you like me to do oh yeah so so just so i'm clear the first one you bought like the one you bought that wasn't

for the shower where was that for well for my office for my office office office right yeah just to sit next to the laptop to play you know it's a bit of music quietly um because i don't have computer speakers and all and i didn't want a big shebang i just wanted something tiny to play and um so i grabbed a bluetooth speaker right so um and then I grabbed another one. So I've put one in the shower and I gave it a test run this morning. Oh, can I guess what you played? Can I guess what you put first thing you played on it? Okay. This, was it this?

You're not playing soft jazz now. I'm not. No, you know it. Oh, man. You better hope I die before you because I'm so playing that at your funeral. As the coffin comes down the aisle. You never really know when you're writing your legacy. At some point you just look and go, well,

that thing just keeps coming around and around and around. You never know. You don't know who lives, who dies, who tells your story. No, it looked, yes, okay. So that would have been a worthy contender. I just played some jazz. Just some jazz? Yeah. Boring.

I would have thought you'd play something you could sing along with. Well, I did. It was Harry Connick Jr. Like it was sort of big bandy sort of jazz. So I put that on, I put it in and it... Look, it works well. Yeah, it works. It's really strange having music in the shower.

Have you got one of these or have you had this experience before? I have not. If I want to listen to something in the shower, which I hardly ever do, I kind of balance my iPhone on a strut that holds the glass up and overhangs the shower. It's very precarious. Have you listened to the Unmade podcast on it yet? No.

And definitely not in the shower. I've only listened to it, I only listened to a couple of songs and then, you know, that was it. But yeah, look, I'm into it. I think it's great. But it was a little bit like, oh, I'm used to having this as like a quiet time alone. And then suddenly it's like, oh, there's, you know, Harry Connick Jr. is in here with me now, which is a bit strange. But then you sort of go with it.

How much will you pay me not to call this episode Tim Has a Shout with Harry Connick Jr.? Okay, the pressure's on for me to say something more embarrassing later in the episode to top it, to distract you from that idea. Okay. Okay, let me do the unboxing. Here we go. Okay, okay. This is like the worst unboxing ever, though, because you've already unboxed one like, you know, a day or two ago.

Oh, that's true. It's the second one. Yeah. Yep. I've opened it. I think you're supposed to like talk us through the unboxing. I don't think you're supposed to like. Oh, sorry.

Oh, look, and here's the instructions. Oh, it's really nicely packed in the in the box and i'm not familiar with this with an extra cable all right let me let me just say then okay so i've ripped the lid off and i've pulled it out and it's in a baggy thing and i've taken it out of the baggy thing and i can confirm it looks exactly the same as the one I opened yesterday. Excellent. Excellent. Did I build the anticipation enough there, man? Oh, I can just see it in my head.

It's amazing. It's like I feel like I'm there with you. It's round. The brand is Brooklyn. And it's got a big, what do you call those big stopper things? You know, like a suction cap thing to, you know, stick to the wall of the glass. So it's got one of those. A suction cap. Yeah. Is it a suction cap thing to, you know, stick to the wall of the glass. So it's got one of those. A suction cap.

Yeah. Is it a suction cap? Is it a suction cup? Cup, is it? Suction cup. I think it's a suction cup. Okay. Now I've just pushed it down the desk and I can't pick it up again because it's suctioned off.

It's going to be there for a while now. That's Tim's work week taken care of trying to figure that one out. I'm going to have to smash the desk to get it off. You have to order a new one. Tim's got nine of them stuck to his desk now. There's another one. I'm going to have to move desks. He's got three stuck to his face.

He's got three stuck to his face. I've got to remember to unbox these from the other end next time so I can go greater control. It's like someone with super glue just constantly sticking their fingers and sticking themselves. You're just stuck to these things everywhere. The kind of person who, like, you know, you accidentally super glue your hand to something and then the person next to you says, well, how'd you do that?

And you go like this, boom, and do the other way. If you want to know if Tim's ever been somewhere, there's just nine of those things sectioned up to the walls and it's like this crazy trick calling card. It's my calling card. That's right. Oh, dear. So, a Bluetooth shower speaker, one of which is now looks permanently in my office and I'll be playing music from it here. I will not be showering in my office, but I will be listening to a shower Bluetooth speaker. What have you got, man?

I struggled to choose what to do for my new. I ended up choosing just the thing that was sitting next to the fossil on the shelf of my office. And it was just something I bought on a whim. It was at a Christmas market in Berlin. And I bought one for my nephew as a Christmas present. And I was so taken with it. And I loved it so much. And I kept saying to my wife, that is the best thing ever.

That is the best present ever. I would love to receive a present like that. And then she just said, well, why don't you buy one for yourself as well? And I'm like, oh my God, I didn't even think of that. I didn't realise that was an option to quote a previous podcast idea. Oh, yes, yes. So, I went back to the stall and bought one for myself. And it is a long, again, it's made of copper again, actually, I think, or some kind of metal.

It's a long copper tube. It's like a kaleidoscope, basically, except when you look down the hole in the end, you're looking all the way through the tube and out the other end. But out the other end, there's like a glass bowl, like a crystal bowl that splits the picture into, you know, a million fragments, like when you look through a kaleidoscope. But instead of looking at, like, coloured beads or something like you do in a normal kaleidoscope, you're actually looking, like, out like a telescope at the world, but it just creates this weird effect of the world

and makes it all kaleidoscope-y. Is it a thing? Like, you're describing something without saying what it is. Like, what is it? They do have a name. It's not a kaleidoscope, but it's like a kaleidoscope. It's like a kaleidoscope combined with a mini telescope is how I would describe it. So, imagine a mini telescope, a mini brass telescope.

Brass, that's what it is, not copper, brass. It's a mini brass telescope about the length of a pen. Yep. But fatter than a pen. Right. And when you look through the hole at the end, you look at the world like you would with a telescope. Yep. But instead of seeing just one picture like you should, there's some kind of filter in it that splits the world up like a kaleidoscope would.

And you see all these weird angles and things. And if you turn it, it turns like a kaleidoscope i wish i knew what it was called is it just a fun thing to look at things beautifully it's just for fun it's yeah it's just a curiosity it's a toy yep it's a curiosity you know and and you can also put it in front of your iphone lens and it makes you know it does all sorts of cool pictures as well but no i just bought it because I was just taken with it. It was just a shiny curiosity toy that captured my attention for 30 seconds. And the guy managed to sell me two of them in those 30 seconds because I loved it so much.

I've never used it since and it just sits on the shelf. Because it's quite a nice looking object as well. Because it's like this brass cylinder with a little crystal bowl at the end. Maybe I should send you a picture of it. There's some ethics involved in ethical questions involved in buying something for yourself that you're buying for someone else as a gift. That is true. That is true. It seems even though, of course, there's nothing wrong.

It's not like you've bought someone a gift and then kept it. Although it's not technically a gift until you give it away. You've bought another one for yourself. It could be seen as complementing the gift. In other words, I bought them a gift that's so good, I wanted one myself. So it's actually adding value to the gift. I hear you, Tim.

And I think overall, all things considered, it probably is a faux pas. Why is it a faux pas then? Well, I don't know if faux pas, it probably is like not well no i don't know faux pas it probably is like not as i don't know it's a bit like because when you give a gift there is a whole thing of i'm giving something to you you're the you're the person who has profited from this transaction like i went to the trouble of going to the shop for you and so it's about you but then i made it about me too yeah yeah all the thought was about you and it was about this, but then I made it about me too. Yeah. Yeah. All the thought was about you. And it was about this, this whole, this whole moment is about giving you happiness.

But in fact, what you did was you gave yourself happiness as well. And I don't know, there is something about it that does seem slightly wrong to me. The way to turn it on its head though, is to think to yourself, okay, I've bought myself two of these just because I can, because hey hey it's just me and I'm allowed to buy what I want for myself oh hang on a second why don't I share one with someone else so then you you're starting selfish but then the sharing the the um the good part comes second so that's like oh yeah you're finishing it's not like I bought something for you and myself and then you're finishing with the selfish act yeah you spin it the other way around.

I still think it's naughty. Because when you give someone something, like, for example, if let's, here's another way to look at it. Imagine a third person in the room, right? And it's your birthday, Tim. And I give you this kaleidoscope thing as a present. And you're like, all the attention's on you, and it's all you and you unwrap your present and you're like, this is wonderful. I feel special. Thank you for the gift.

And imagine if there was a third person in the room and they said, oh, I've got one of them too. Like, that's like a bit of a Norbish thing to say, isn't it? Yeah. That's like, you know, that's Tim's moment. You don't say, I've got one too. When you give someone a present and you bought one for yourself, that's kind of what you're doing. You're saying, you know, i've got one too when you give someone a present and you bought one for yourself that's kind of what you're doing you're saying you know i've got one too you're not you're not as special as you think because i've well you're making it more common maybe that's the

thing it's not a special gift because it's like well i've got one and you've got yeah yeah i hopefully have sent you a picture i don't know if it's arrived oh yeah no no i'm looking at it now yeah yeah so that looks like there's a picture of the object. Does it make sense? Does that make sense now? Did I do it? How bad a job did I do describing it? It looks nothing like I'm remembering back to the image in my head at the start of the conversation.

And this looks really quite different to that. Yeah. Yeah. But it does look nice. Yeah. That's an interesting choice for something new you got it pretty new and yeah okay so there we go yeah it is yeah lovely okay something borrowed uh okay so something borrowed this was this one was a real challenge i had to scour the

house because i got nothing that i've borrowed from anyone at the moment um other than the house itself oh indeed indeed yes yes i didn't even think of that that's right the generosity of the friends um to to um allow us to live there i but i did find something in the shed and it's something i've borrowed off my mum it's a cd cassette player it's um so i've got it here and it's, you may remember civilian listeners will remember that we talked about cassette, old cassette tapes that I'd found in the shed and they had old conversations like audible letters. And I went through and we played a few of them from,

from childhood and so forth. So I, when I was getting those and turning them into MP3s, I needed to find a cassette player and I didn't have one. So I went and borrowed this one from mum and that was, what, a year or two ago and I haven't given it back. I haven't used it since. It's just been sitting amongst the stuff.

And so I've borrowed it, but I probably should give it back because mum probably actually does have cassettes that she wants to listen to and can't listen to at the moment because I've got it here. It's not terrible. It's not kind of old enough to be like cool retro. Like it's not 80s. It's like 90s. It's like the one you had in the 90s, man.

And it's General Electric and portable CD radio cassette recorder. And it's grey and it's kind of curved and round. Is the tape still in it? Do you know what's in it? There is a tape in it which I have forgotten to take out when I filed away everything and it's my dad again but this time it's a talk that he's giving like a sermon in a church service but the only thing it says 22nd of July 1984. Wow.

Yeah. So it says, and the topic is faith. So Dad was talking about faith, which is a very, you wouldn't say it's the most specific topic of all time. But yeah, 1984 cassette. That's just four years after Colonel Sanders died. Right. Right. Yeah. cassette and that's just four years after colonel sanders died right right yeah

that should become the new date around which like all like time revolves like bc and ad you should be like you know before the colonel bc before the colonel after his demise bc and ad i looked for a cd there was no cd player in there and all my cds are all in storage the ones i've got left yeah because i did a bit of an audit so i couldn't play how is it powered is it powered by battery or mains it has it has a cord um it also has a massive battery component, which I've opened the cavity and it's like, you know, in the Death Star where the Millennium Falcon, the ships come in and land, that massive hangar? Yeah. That's around about the size of the compartment at the back of this. You need to fill with batteries for it to work. Like I'm saying.

You could empty out the department store of batteries and still not fill this component. You need Elon Musk to come there and build one of his super facilities to put in there. That's right. That's right. You actually need to build a coal-powered power station to put it in there. That's right. You actually need to build a coal-powered power station to put it in there. That's right. I think that's just to get the thing to go.

Either that or you just plug it in. Right. Well, are you going to plug it in and press play for a few seconds? I can press play. Do you want to hear just a little bit of Dad talking? I'm always up for a bit of faith from Jerry. Here we go. I've done it in the past, and I could have done it easy six years ago.

Six and a half years ago when I got my heart attack and later in hospital, I could have easily said it isn't. What was that crackling? Is that just the tape player? Oh, yeah. It's a terrible condition. Yep. It was great hearing his voice.

Yeah, yeah. Talking about his heart attack. The thing about Dad's rich ducks accent is that even when he's talking about something really positive, he just sounds like he's telling someone off. It's just so endearing. Yeah. There we go. All right.

So, that's borrowed. So, I've got to give that back to Mum. Remind her to do that. Yep. What have you got borrowed? I struggled a bit for something borrowed as well, but luckily something did come. Luckily there was an obvious choice and it was,

mine is also a piece of technology. I have borrowed or has been loaned to me, so I guess that counts as borrowed, a quite high tech and expensive telescope. Wow. Wow. Yeah. So I did a video not long ago with an astronomy professor, and during the pandemic lockdown, he actually bought himself a telescope

just for recreational use and started taking images with it from his backyard. And we made a couple of videos about it, and I quite liked it. And the company that make the telescope got in touch and said, oh, we liked the video you made. Would you like to just try one out and see what you couple of videos about it and I quite liked it. And the company that make the telescope got in touch and said, oh, we liked the video you made. Would you like to like just try one out and see what you think of it? Like borrow one for a short period. And I was like, yes, please. So they sent one to me in the post.

And so it's in my house at the moment. Wow. I used it for a couple of nights and had quite a bit of fun with it. And then kind of the novelty wore off. but also the weather has gone bad since. So, there have been fewer clear nights over the last week or so. And also in England at the moment, because we're coming, you know, into proper, proper summer, there's not much darkness. I mean, it never gets completely dark. It never gets telescope dark, as dark as you'd like.

So, I've been using it a lot less. I've actually said to the telescope company, I prefer to actually have this at a time of year when it's darker to give it a test. So, I don't know what's going to happen there, whether they'll ever send it to me again. But I still have it at the moment. So, it's sitting in the room next to me. I have my arm around it at the moment, a telescope. So, the image that's come to mind now is the Alfred Hitchcock film Rear Window. Like, surely if you can't see the stars, you're just shooting it around the neighbourhood and checking out what's going on. Is that possible?

I'm not sure what would happen if you pointed this at someone's window. It's got such a narrow field of view that I don't know what you'd see, whether you'd be looking at, like, someone's hair follicles or something. Like, it's, you know, this has got, you know. It's so powerful. Yeah, this is for looking at, like, faraway galaxies. This looks at things that you can't see. So, it's quite automated and you run it with an app on your phone. So, you'll put in, like, the name of a galaxy you want to look at

that you can't see and then the telescope will just, like, go and slew across to that part of the sky and then, like, you know, the photons will fall in. And it will also use technology to stack the picture, stack them on top of each other to make it, like, a long exposure. And then on your app will appear the galaxy. Oh, wow. So, it's- and you'll be like, oh, I didn't even know that galaxy was there. And suddenly you're looking at this, like, spiral galaxy. I'll include in the notes some pictures I took with it and stuff like that give us a sense for a real lay person like myself in

this area give us a sense of it's why is it so special like can you give us a sense of what it's worth or the kind of distance i don't know i don't know enough about it it's quite expensive it costs a few thousand pounds uh some would argue it's too expensive uh for what it does it's very automated it's very it's sort of very idiot proof i've owned telescopes before that i'm not very good i'm not very good at like you know setting them up and making them flat and lining things up this is very idiot proof you just open it it looks at the sky and looks at the stars and from the stars it can see it figures out what way it's pointing already oh wow okay so it okay. So it sort of self-aligns itself. And so idiot-proof, you can then just say,

show me the Andromeda galaxy. Yep. And it will swing across and do it. It has its weaknesses too. You know, most of what you do is done through an app, so you don't have quite that same feeling of connection with the sky when you're looking at pictures on a screen. Oh, so it shoots the pictures, but it's not like you bend over and put your eye into it.

It has got an eyepiece, but I'm not sure if the eyepiece itself is a screen as well or not. I haven't looked into it, but it's not... Yeah, it's different. I've looked at things through big telescopes before, like in little domes and that, where you're seeing Jupiter with your eye, and there's a real sense of excitement. It hasn't got quite that same sense of excitement but it's still pretty cool and it's kind of cool looking and yeah again there'll be pictures and stuff in the notes tim and i tim and i will have all sorts of pictures of things we're talking about and we'll put them all in the show notes and you can you can get a real feel for all these objects so my telescope's borrowed so is it you do own other telescopes as well?

It's a pretty cool thing to have, I reckon, just to search around. I was given a telescope by my wife a few years ago, and I never really got it to work properly, and then a part of it broke. I do still own it. It's in storage, but I've never actually looked at anything through it. Which is probably the only thing it does, is that right? Apart from look cool, like set up. Yeah.

What about binoculars? Have you got binoculars? I don't think I do have a set of binoculars at the moment. I have an old telescope, like a sailor's mariner's telescope, an old brass one for decorative reasons. Yep. But that's just like, you know, a cool prop to make your house look cool. Yeah.

That's in storage too, I think. Gradually my life is just a case of everything that I like finding its way to storage as my wife eventually slowly banishes them from the house. Yes. Even gifts that she's given you. Yeah, exactly. My days are numbered in the house. That's why I need a bigger storage unit.

I'm going to have to sleep in it soon. I just love your birthday. It's like, well, hey, here, happy birthday. I birthday i got you something special i thought it looked really great in storage it's off yeah all right last on the list i'm looking forward to seeing what you picked for this something blue yeah wow this was a challenge to find something blue. There's a couple of things I could have qualified, like the Bluetooth speaker could have qualified as well, and my father's old suitcase is also coincidentally blue. The thing I got is the second last thing I bought,

the thing I bought earlier yesterday, which is a Delft Blue little windmill. Oh, nice. I was in an antique store and I found this. And I just, it was actually near the cash register. I was buying another picture for a friend in Melbourne that I thought looked really cool. But then while I was paying for it, I actually saw this and loved it. And it's tiny.

And it's only after I got into the car, I looked in the top and realised that it's actually a pepper shaker. Like it's got little holes on the top. I thought it was just a little ornament. Yeah. But it's Delft Blue, which is that lovely, it comes from Delft, it's part of Holland, where they make that blue and white sort of pottery. That's gorgeous. And I love all that stuff. So, that's my blue. It's literally Delft Blue. What are you actually going to do with this pepper shaker? Oh, well, it's a little ornament. I'm just going to put it somewhere, either in my office or at home somewhere. It just looks nice. I have a few Delft blue sort of little items and stuff that I've inherited from my parents. Just looks cool. That's it.

But looking cool is no small thing. No. Rock and roll. Rock and roll with the delf blue windmill pepper shaker so what about you man what have you got my blue thing is a little piece of tourist tat ornament that i bought in japan when i was there on holiday in 2007 with my wife. We were in Kyoto. She wasn't my wife at the time, actually.

She was just my girlfriend. We were, which is a funny part of the story, I guess, because we were at a shrine called the Jishu Shrine. And I bought this little object, which is a little cloth. It's a little cloth. It looks like a little, it looks like a tag, a shopping tag that would hang off something, except it's made of cloth and it's ornamental and it's blue coloured with a little bit of writing on it and painting on it.

It has no value really, but for some reason I've just kept it on my desk now for 13 years it just hangs off a lamp and i don't have a lot of stuff on my desk and it somehow has just survived on my desk for all these years and it's now just here is like probably because it's small and cute and it can just hang off a lamp without being noticed and it's just been a big part of my life for 13 years and i don't really know much about it uh so what happened was today i put out a little message on twitter saying can anyone speak japanese and tell me what the writing says on it and what this thing is and i found someone and it turns out it is what i thought it was it's like a lucky charm and the main Japanese word on the front of it in gold says happiness and then the Japanese writing on the back says the name of the place where I got

it the Jishu shrine in the city of Kyoto and the thing that's cool about this shrine and the reason I bought this because of the happy memory I had there at the time was the thing it's famous for are these two big rocks that are about the size of about four or five times the size of a basketball i would say and they're both set in like the paving stones about 10 meters apart i would guess and there's a tradition in fact instead of telling you i'll read what it says on wikipedia here we go the temple complex includes several other shrines, among them the Jishu Shrine, dedicated to Akanishinushi? I don't know. A god of love and good matches. Jishu Shrine possesses a pair of love stones placed 18 metres apart, that's 60 feet,

which lonely visitors can try to walk between with their eyes closed. Success in reaching the other stone with their eyes closed implies that the pilgrim will find love or true love. One can be assisted in the crossing, but this is taken to mean that a go between will be needed. The person's romantic interest can assist them as well. So, my wife and I each took a turn at shutting our eyes and trying to walk between these stones. And it was a good laugh. And then we bought, and then I bought this little, in fact, I think I bought two. I think I bought one for her as well. These little tokens that they were selling there at the time, taking advantage

of all the endorphins and good time you were having. 13 years later, I still have it sitting on my desk and she's now my wife so wow happiness and good luck eh did you when you brought her to adelaide did you take her to the malls balls because they can have a similar effect on couples i understand i did not take her to the love balls i love the moles balls the most those from notoles Boles. Those from Adelaide. In Adelaide, there are two. They're called the Spheres, I think.

They are. I spoke about them recently in the Numberphile podcast. Oh, really? Okay. Yeah. I talk about them all the time. I love them. And they're in Rundle Malls.

So, everyone refers to them as the Moles Boles. The Moles Boles. Yeah. But they're not quite the sacred... The love stones are not the same as the Moles Bowls. For those that are wondering. They're a different thing. I think it's terrible that you have a memento from these love stones,

but you're an Adelaide boy, but you don't have a memento from the Moles Bowls on your desk. I didn't say I don't. Adelaide boy, but you don't have a memento from the mall's balls on your desk. I didn't say I don't. As always, Tim has loads of ideas, but we're kind of running out of time, so we're going to save some of

Tim's ideas for next time. By the way, Tim, I've been looking at the name Harlan for a while now, and it just occurred to me it's really close to Haran. So what are you implying? I'm not saying anything. Well, I think think you are i think you're moseying in on my uh my my connection to the colonel harland let's have a look colonel harran by the way do you know why he's called colonel sanders what the colonel is oh that yeah i didn't tell you this it's not a real colonel is

it it's something i I've read this somewhere. It's a Kentucky kernel. You're made a Kentucky kernel is like an honour, like a kind of like a keys to the city or like it's just an honour given by the state to people that are doing good things, like philanthropists or business people and things like that. You're made a Kentucky kernel.

Okay. I was wondering whether or not people that do great things for the unmade podcast like the first person i'm thinking of is zach the musician oh yes because by the way those of you who know zach the musician he did the sofa shop piano solo he did the uh money for Nothing piano solo. Patrons will know he also has done sheet music for the Sofa Shop, which we have made as a Patreon perk. So if you follow us on Patreon, you can download the sheet music for the Sofa Shop.

I'm going to propose this now, Tim, on the fly. You can veto it. You can veto it if you like. But I'm going to propose that people that do great things for our podcast be made unmade colonels as an honorific. And I'm suggesting that Zach be the first named the first ever unmade colonel. Ahead of John Williams. No, that's right.

First ever unmade colonel. Ahead of John Williams. No, that's right. Well, the two are sort of in the same kind of echelon, aren't they, of music? He is in the unmade world. He is the John Williams of the unmade world. This is true. He's our John Williams.

I'm not going to veto that. I think that's a wonderful idea. That's a moving idea. Yes, our first colonel, an unmade kernel. Zach, you now can, in official correspondence and things like that, if you like, refer to yourself as unmade kernel, Zach. Wow. Do we not have a ceremony or something?

I'll make a certificate. Okay. Certificate's a good idea. That's right. I'll sort out a certificate. Will it have the Tim KFC face on it? Yes! As a gold stamp. Oh, I'm going to have that made into a stamp.

That'd be awesome. With whack as a stamp. Like a seal. A whack seal. We can send documents with heralds across the land That's marvellous Oh, brilliant See, this is why I haven't got a reply yet from KFC

I didn't send it with the official seal Once they recognise who I am Congratulations, Zach I mean, really, that's a whole other level Congratulations, Zach. I mean, really, that's a whole other level. Congratulations, Zach. That was hours of thought and preparation has gone into the bestowing of that honour, as you can tell. It is.

There was a lot of debate, but the vote was unanimous in the end, and so congratulations. It was passed, two votes to nil. That's right. You have been made an unmade colonel for services to piss-take music. Yeah. I haven't even got one, and we've played my bit of music more than anything.

I'm not even a colonel. Why aren't I a colonel? What bit of music are you talking about, Tim? Well, I'm sure you can't find it now. Oh, yes, this one. Oh, dear. How many times have I got it in this episode? I've lost count.

I think that's the third time. No wonder we're running over time. All right. We'll let Tim have an idea next week. And I've also got, I had a great Patreon idea printed out as well, but I think we'd better stop. I have a 10-second idea. I've looked up the name Harland, right?

And it means, Har means grey and land means land. So the etymology of it, it's kind of like grey land. My podcast idea is- Oh, it's Ha-land, it's not Ha-lin. Is it Ha-land? Well, there's a D on the end, yeah. What do you think's a cooler name, Haaland or Phineas? Haaland, definitely.

Where did you get Phineas from? Oh, I watched that greatest showman last night about P.T. Barnum and his name was Phineas, so. watched that greatest showman last night about P.T. Barnum and his name was Phineas so all right okay well my 10 second idea is that you have a different people on whose name is Harland either it's their first name or second name to talk about how they got their name why they were named that and what they've done with their life and if they've founded any fried chicken outlets. So I'm looking at famous people named Harland. The first one that came up was Harland Williams,

which surprises me because I thought Harland Sanders would be high on that list. Here we go. Wikipedia, Harland name. There's a bunch of people with the last name Harland. First name, I've just got Harland RU, who's an American football player, Colonel Harland Sanders, and Harland Williams, comedian, actor, and radio personality. So, we could have as little as three guests on your show. Oh, no, Harland Sanders is dead.

So, we're down to two people. We're down to two. But then we could just have non-famous Harlands. Oh, that's right. Yes, yes. There's a Paul Harland, a Dutch science fiction writer. He'd be a barrel of laughs, wouldn't he? Like an interesting character.

I'd get him on. Got a geologist here, a botanist. Yeah, if we take surname Harland, we really open things up a lot. So we might have to do that after those first two episodes with Harland RU, former defensive lineman. He played 10 games with the Calgary Stampeders in the Canadian Football League. So he's not exactly like, you know, it's not Tom Brady.

Yeah, yeah. And Harland Williams, Canadian-American actor, comedian, singer, author, artist, musician, and radio personality. You know who he is? You remember in Dumb and Dumber when the police officer pulls him over and, you know, says, you'll keep your mouth shut if you know what's good for you. You'd keep your mouth shut if you knew what was good for you, buddy.

That's him. That's him. And then he takes a drink of that suspicious drink. He's in a bunch of those comedies, but Dumb and Dumber, that's a classic little cameo. It's the cop on the block. Well remembered. Yeah.

Okay. I don't even remember that scene. Yeah. But yeah, I'm looking at his filmography. He's in lots of things. He does stand up on Letterman and stuff as well. So he's done well with his name. Okay.

Well, we'll have him on the show then. We'll have him on Tim's Harlan podcast. I'll look forward to having a chat with him. And he might know other Harlans too. Like there might be a secret network. So he'd help us with research too. Those two that we could have on both have links with Canada. So, and funnily enough, Colonel Sanders himself had quite links with Canada

because this shows how much I know about Colonel Sanders after my Wikipedia marathon this morning. When he sold all the rights to KFC, the franchise rights in America and around the world, he actually kept the franchise rights in Canada. So he still ran the show in Canada. That's strange. He has special links with Canadian KFC. And I wonder if the quality of the taste even even now, has been maintained at a different level. You know what I mean?

He just set a level of discipline that they've held on to. Maybe that's why we've got so many fans, so many listeners from Canada. Possibly. It's because they love the KFC. The thing that Colonel Sanders got a real bee in his bonnet about as he got older was the quality of KFC gravy, which he thought was turning into like wallpaper paste. He was really upset about the direction that KFC gravy was going in, which I find ironic because when I was growing up, like KFC gravy was like, you know, nectar of the gods.

You're right. I was never a big one for the gravy, but you obviously don't have the sort of level of taste. I like that he took an interest in it. That's good that he was, and you get really upset about it. That's lovely to see that quality control. Well, goodbye, Colonel Sanders and Colonel Zach. Yeah, no, he's an unmade colonel.

Unmade colonel, that's right, yes. There's a big difference. Zach will be updating his Wikipedia page and people will go back and clarify it's an unmade colonel on there as well. Yeah. Big difference. Zach will be updating his Wikipedia page and people will go back and clarify. It's an unmade kernel on there as well. Yeah. All right.

How about we see the show out with a little bit more of Tim reading Patreon names? A reminder, check out the links in the show notes and on our website and around the place for the full list. But here's a little bit more of Tommy Ball Tim reading the names of some of our Patreon supporters. And until the next episode. Goodnight Australia Aaron Lee Curry Jacob Beck Katie Hainsworth

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