The Unmade Podcast - 65: On Behalf of Michael Jordan

Episode Date: November 12, 2020

Tim and Brady discuss a reply from Michael Jordan, decision making, the brutal truth, spoon of the week, doing things 'my way', refrigeration, and a Donald Duck impersonation. Go to Storyblocks for stock video, pictures and audio at storyblocks.com/unmade - https://www.storyblocks.com/unmade Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/unmadeFM Join the discussion of this episode on our subreddit - https://redd.it/jsv3or USEFUL LINKS Thanks Stephen for today's Fleet Foxes-inspired Sofa Shop cover. Michael Jordan - basketball player - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Jordan I'm Writing To Complain episode - https://www.unmade.fm/episodes/special-writing-to-complain Spoon of the Week pictures - https://www.unmade.fm/spoon-of-the-week Walhalla - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walhalla,_Victoria Donald Duck - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_Duck

Three, four. gonna cost what you think it will they got a sofa designed for you don't you do a thing not until you've seen the sofa shop There we go, another sofa shop cover to open the show. Nice. Like it? Yeah, sounds like it comes right out of Bleaker Street in Greenwich Village in about 1965. This is what the writer said.

Hi Tim and Brady, I made a bleeding heart indie folk cover of the sofa shop jingle i was inspired by the sufjan stevens style cover and decided to pay homage to a musical idol of mine namely fleet foxes i hope to bathe the listeners in rapturous harmonies like those of robin pecknold or at least as close as i can get. Love the show. Sincerely, Stephen from Canada. Just kidding. I'm from Manchester, United Kingdom. Right. You know, when you first sent me that version,

I thought of Fleet Foxes straight away. So, well done. Oh, whatever. Now you say that. I did. I did. And it's just I feel quietly, contentedly very proud of myself. So I thought, well, and Stephen, is it Stephen, did you say?

Yes. Should be very proud as well. Well done, Stephen. Well, I mean, he's had his music played on the Unmade podcast. How could he be more proud? No, that's right. He's peaked. That's it.

I hope you're not too young, Stephen, because peaking this high, this early can be very dangerous for the rest of your life. It's the Royal Albert Hall of podcasts. That's right. The Royal Albert Hall. That's right. So, I have a bit of follow-up, Tim. Oh, hello.

Do you remember we did a special episode where, you special episode where we make one of our ideas? Yes. And we did the episode where we write letters of complaint, and you wrote a letter of complaint to KFC. Yes. I wrote a couple of letters of complaint, including one to Michael Jordan. Yes. Yes.

Yes. So I wrote to Michael Jordan and complained about a pair of Nike shoes that my mate Chris owned in the, I think the 1990s probably. Yes. And I also asked if he'd send me like a game worn jersey or some shoes or something. I don't know. It was a pretty ambitious letter to say the least.

Dear Michael Jordan, first, allow me to belatedly congratulate you on the six NBA titles you won with the Chicago Bulls in the 1990s. I really didn't like the design of Chris's shoes, which I found a little on the bulky side. Anyway, I just got back from visiting Australia where, as you know, because you had me on your doorstep most days. as you know, because you had me on your doorstep most days. Yes, yes. And when I got back and checked my mailbox, I had an envelope emblazoned with the Michael Jordan jumping logo addressed to me. I received a reply.

My goodness me. My goodness. Wow. Was it like a shoebox-sized parcel? It was a disappointingly flat envelope. Wow. Was it like a shoebox sized parcel? It was a disappointingly flat envelope. Obviously some mega voucher or check of some kind. Would you like me to read what was written?

Nah, let's just get on with the show. Your eyes crack on with Tim's crap ideas. That's right. I'm excited about my crap idea tonight but but it's almost worth torturing chris by not reading it like you're just telling me off all right shall i read it yeah yeah go for it it's on a beautiful letter it's got like this like embossed uh three-dimensional michael jordan logo at the top. It's all class. Yeah. And it's addressed to me. It says, Dear Mr. Harron, re, grievance regarding Nike Air Force shoes, request for autographed game-worn shoes.

And it comes from his executive assistant, Leslie. And it says, On behalf of Michael, thank you for congratulations on winning the six NBA championship titles with the Chicago Bulls. I am also acknowledging your appeal for help with a grievance about your friend Chris's Nike Air Force shoes purchased and worn in the 1990s. Your supposition is correct. Michael's office does not handle inquiries for nike incorporated

we regret we are unable to assist in this matter with regard to your additional query about receiving a pair of michael's game worn shoes yeah unfortunately we have no personal memorabilia we were able to send as gifts kind regards les, executive assistant. That's fantastic. Okay, so a couple of observations. Firstly, she refers to him as Michael, not Mike. Yeah. Yeah.

Secondly, how excited will Chris be that his name was mentioned in the reply? Pretty excited. Yeah. Thirdly, I love that she replied to each facet of the letter by, you know, in reference to your request. It was like a big just taking down each point. Oh, that's fantastic. So I've written a reply, Tim. Okay.

Read it out. All right. This is what I'm going to send back this afternoon. Dear Leslie, thank you for your letter dated 6 August 2020 on behalf of Michael. You beautifully captured the tone of the man himself. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised to learn he dictated the letter personally. I understand Michael is not able to send game-worn shoes or jerseys as mere gifts. All sorts of crazy people would start writing letters if that was the case. But I think...

Sorry, keep going. All right, I'm glad you appreciated that one. But I think the enclosed sofa shop pin may start negotiations for some sort of trade or barter. Whoa. I will point out these are pins that money cannot buy, and they're usually only gifts for Patreon supporters, so they're quite the rarity. Do let me know if this sweetens the deal somewhat.

I would also offer an unmade podcast spoon if Michael wants to play hardball. Kind regards, Brady Haran. Michael wants to play hardball. And I've got here, P.S. I enclose $1.20 postage to cover your previous letter. It was never my intention for Michael to be out of pocket in any way, especially considering he's no longer an active player and is probably watching the pennies a bit more tightly these days.

Oh, that's fantastic. Oh, nice work marvelous that's brilliant i do i do think you are throwing a lot of very precious merchandise at michael jordan i know i think he's gonna come out on top in this deal he is he is incredible. He's getting a pin and potentially a spoon as well. Potentially. I want to see what he's offering back in return first. Well, that's right. Yes, yes, that's right. Like, for instance, if he happened to get spun up, if he became a patron supporter,

he may get spun up at Spoon of the Week and win one. That'd be one way for him to get one. Well, who knows? Who knows? I'll pop that in the post and I'll let you know if another reply comes. Wow. Michael Jordan getting two letters from Brady Haran. How exciting.

I should have got my own executive assistant. Can I sign it from Tim Hine, executive assistant to Brady Haran? I am not your executive assistant. No, you wouldn't reach executive level. You can't type fast enough. I'm more of a sort of a basic PA, I think. You're one of my backroom staff speech writers. I always love, what sort of job do you have to get to where you have multiple executive assistants?

You know what I mean? Like, you know, they talk about, you've got five secretaries out there and, you know, firing off work. President of the united states springs to mind no no he's got one he's got mrs leningham that's all he needs the best job that the president has though is like that body man so it's not like he's not even like a security guard or secret service or or a secretary or anything he's just like a dude just to be around and do stuff. The Charlie Young job.

Yeah, yeah. How cool is that? Just having someone who's just like- That's a cool job. Just there, like just some dude that's just there. It just like gets a coffee or helps out or carries the briefcase. Basically, his job is to, you know, just stand next to the president and meet heaps of cool, famous people. Yeah.

And- Do you know what i mean and then to sit yeah to sit in to sit and wait in in the spare room with potential judges and stuff like that and and and to get an unbelievable reference letter when he goes for his first job afterwards yeah and and to um get like the president's personal copy of the constitution or whatever it was, or from his dad. And to date the president's daughter. I mean, that was very unwise. He's putting the whole thing at a very-

I mean, Charlie got the full presidential experience there, didn't he? Like, he really, he really milked that job. Yeah, yeah, that's right. The only thing he didn't get was like sort of, you know, nursed by Mrs Bartlett or something, you know. Mrs Bartlett keeping his medical condition secret. I know. He even had an assassination attempt.

That's right. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Anyway, is there anything left we can spoil about the West Wing that we haven't spoiled in the last 30 seconds? No. Well, you and Mike obviously are just, you know, engaging in a back and forth now.

That's going to be really interesting. We're like pen pals. You up here. Well, that's right. Yes, yes. Impressive work. Good catch up, follow up, man. Well done.

All right. Thank you. Ideas for a podcast? Should we do that? Yes. Yes, I've got an idea. This is an idea that's grown as an idea. And you can tell me whether it's degenerated or whether it's advanced.

We'll see. All right. The name of my podcast is You Make the Decision. Right. The name of my podcast is You Make the Decision. Right. Which is essentially a line that comes out in many conversations between partners at a point of exasperation or even between friends who will fight over getting their way for a good hour

and then finally just throw it back at the other person. KFC or McDonald's. Oh, you make the decision. Whether it's which, you know, movie to watch or where are we going for dinner or where, you know what I mean? So, but that got me thinking. So the idea of the premise, the first idea of my podcast would be a podcast where essentially you're able to hand over

significant or insignificant decisions to someone else so you you essentially are able to have a conversation and rationale and make a decision and the people have to hold to the decision that's been put to them which job to take should i marry this person which of these two shirts should I buy? Yeah. And so forth. But it got me more interested in decisions anyway, like how people make decisions. And I actually thought a podcast involved in people who make big decisions and how they came to make a big decision would be interesting in and of itself.

People reflecting on massive decisions that they had to make. Now it's getting a bit worthy and turning into like a book Barack Obama would write. Profiles of decision making. But I think also on minor decisions as well. You know what I mean? Anyway. I like, I mean, I can see how it could turn worthy, Tim,

and kudos to you for, you know, being so noble. I'm not trying to make it worthy. I'm not trying to make it worthy. I'm not trying to make it worthy. You're not worthy of me making it worthy. This show's certainly not worthy of making it worthy. I'm not worthy. You're not worthy. We're not worthy.

When you first started explaining it, I thought you were going to make it that the audience makes the decision. But no, but I don't like that because to me that feels like the easy option and the cheap option do you know what i like the idea of you and i like say you and i were hosting all right it's a decision that one of us has to make each week and we have a guest decision maker as the guest on the show yep yep so like you know you talk a bit about them and who they are so it becomes a bit of you know a profile and i get to know. Yep. Yep. So like, you know, you talk a bit about them and who they are. So it becomes a bit of, you know, a profile and I get to know you, but then you say, all right, okay. You know, Sandy, it's great to have you on the show.

Very interesting to hear about the new book you've released. Yep. But enough of that, we need a decision from you. Yep. And one of us then explains our problem and Sandy, the guest makes the decision. That's cool. So we have the, we have the problem or we could do it. We're doing a new problem to the table each week for our guest decision the decision. That's cool. So we have the problem. Or we could do it from people who- We're doing a new problem to the table each week for our guest decision maker. Yep. Yep. Yep. What's a decision you've had to make this week that a guest decision maker could have helped you with? Oh, well, I was talking to my wife about what decisions and how I make decisions.

And I'm a bit of a paradox because she says you make really big decisions quickly and well with logic but then you get stuck on small matters like you know what should we have for dinner where should we go on holidays what film should we watch tonight you know what I mean like which shirt today and I'll go back and forward on a shirt even though it doesn't really matter this shirt that shirt and so forth to go to go off to a meeting where some massive decision with big implications for people and stuff will be made. And I'll be like, yep, yep, bang, there we go. Confident now that I've made the big decision of the day.

I got past the shirt issue. And everything else just feels like it's a cruise from there. So she says, and I think that's right. I do get stuck on these little things, not wanting to make the wrong decision. But the smaller the stakes, the more thought I seem to put into it. Could you accept the decision of the guest decision maker is the next question. I think so because I make my wife often the judge, right? So I'll go to her and I'll say, which of these two I'm thinking of?

And if she says the one I'm thinking of or leaning towards, it's like ultimate confirmation. Bang, gavel comes down. Great. All done. Yeah. If they say the other one, I generally complain. Like, what on earth are you doing?

You're just making this worse. That's the wrong decision. What are you doing? She's like, well, go the like well go the other one i'm like well i can't now you've said this one and what do you do when your wife sets the ultimate wife trap that they set and asks you for a similar decision for something for her i now give the brutal truth really i do yeah i go that one and not that one because and i give the reason which is whoa are you kidding i know i know that's amazing i i do put like a helmet on first and protective gear and stuff it's the only way through otherwise you're there forever so you're doing it for selfish reasons because you just want to, like, get out of the house. Go around and around and around, I mean.

But I give the brutal truth. I do. I just go, no, this one. Oh, that. Now, that is a podcast. That is a podcast. The Brutal Truth with Tim Hine, where people just send you in, like, opinions, like they send in a picture saying, does my butt look big in these jeans?

The Brutal Truth with Tim Hine. Do you think I'm talented? What do you got? Show me. No. Next. Preferably just one-word answers. No. Next. Preferably just one word answers. Yeah.

That's great. All right. You could get through like dozens of them in an episode, couldn't you? Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? Like, bang, yes, no. No. And it's just, oh, no.

All right. I like it. No. And it's just, oh, God, no. All right. I like it. What was it called again? What was your idea called again? You make the decision. You make the decision. All right. You make the decision.

Yeah, yeah. All right. There's a whole range. This is, I'm going to tentatively take a step towards, like in the worthy direction here, which you're not going to like. step towards like in the worthy direction here which you're not going to like there is there is a whole range of theories around how many decisions you can make in a day without it like wearing you out and you've heard there's that research about um that people like like the president are told what they're going to wear every day so they don't have to stand there

looking at ties making decisions because they're going to need that decision making capacity later in the day and stuff. That's why I wear my pyjamas till 3pm each day. He's just stuck. It's like you go to the wardrobe, stare at it for a while and go. No, I just don't want to waste my decisions on things that don't, you know. That's why I work in bed in the morning. I don't want to have to decide whether to get out of bed or not. I've got to keep my decision-making to a minimum so I can make the big decisions. So you're like Winston Churchill, just sitting up in bed,

people bringing you papers. I'm just going to clip out that part where you said you're like Winston Churchill. Nice. Yeah, there you go. Well, I reckon it's not a bad idea. Do you like making decisions? No. Or do you go, oh, don't give me a decision?

No. I despise making decisions. Oh. Is it because you overthink it or because it feels exhausting or? I don't know. Why? I just think I'm not a good decision maker. I don't like getting it wrong.

Yeah. I'd rather just not make the decision at all and put it off. How's that working out? You've seen me. You know me. I don't know. I just don't like to do things that don't have to be done, including make decisions. So I'll put it off if I can. Do you like making decisions? Sometimes I do. I like feeling decisive i think everyone likes feeling decisive but i set up life in a way that minimizes decisions so right you know like in terms of clothing as well you know what i mean i

get a oh this works i'll get a bunch of them um always do the same thing like with ice cream i have two flavors of ice cream that i like boysenberry and rum and raisin and i only ever have them because i don't want to have to choose another one i know i like them so right that's very presidential of you if i have one of my five executive assistants coming, we need to get you ice cream. Which ice cream flavour do you want? So when you wake up in the morning, you think, you used to think, will I wear denim or will I not wear denim? Now you just think, I'm going to wear denim.

I think I'm avoiding this. If they made denim ice cream, you would be all in. You're saying this, Brady is saying this because on several occasions I wore a denim jacket as well as denim jeans when we were in Adelaide. And this is purely because he didn't bring a jacket to Adelaide. And so he took my other jackets. I was left with only one jacket which was the denim one Yeah but the one I borrowed off you was denim too It was not denim, it was not

We need to release Unmade Podcast merch which is a denim t-shirt Like a full body jumpsuit that's all like dungarees yeah overalls oh i like i like that denim t-shirt yeah it's a tim hine original oh dear i i um i like black jeans. I like blue jeans. That's it. That's all I got.

Well, and a blue denim jacket. But, yes, you seem to have seen it just about every day. Those denim underpants must chafe a bit, though. Come on. They do a little bit at first. I think you've had a good idea today i like i like i think there is potential in this decision making idea well done thank you thank you well played well played i tell you one thing you don't have to make a decision about tim

yes and that is where to go for all your stock footage, stock photos and stock audio needs. Heck no. Heck no. Storyblocks. You got it in one. Absolutely. You have a memory like a steel trap. How did steel traps get known for being so smart?

I don't know. I don't know. Get known for being so smart. I don't know. I don't know. But if you wanted a picture of a steel trap or a video of a steel trap, the first place you should look is Storyblocks. Absolutely. In fact, you could look on Storyblocks for a picture of anything, Tim, anything in the universe.

In fact, and I'm not even joking because the other day I was making a video about neutron stars and I needed an extra video of what a neutron star sort of looks like in space, an artistic depiction. And I went onto Storyblocks and they had just what I needed and I put it in my video. It was brilliant. Nice. They're amazing. Perfect. They've always got what you need, always got what you need. So Storyblocks is this incredible online library of stock video, stock pictures, stock audio. You can search it. You can take whatever you need royalty free, put it into your creations, your videos, your newsletters, whatever you're making, your website, just for a sort of a one-off monthly fee, you get access to everything. This is a brilliant service. I'm really grateful for it. Go to storyblocks.com slash unmade storyblocks.com slash unmade so that if you do go

and look at them and check them out they know you came from here you will not regret it help us help you that's what we're doing help us help you what should i look for a picture of on storyblocks or a video of just a a steel trap is there a steel trap there? Yes. Yes, there is. I want to see how smart they look. Well, this is like an animated steel trap that I found in the videos. What about in the pictures? Probably a picture of my mind will just come up. Yep. There it is.

Tim's mind. Tim's mind. Just a big wall of denim. Thanks, Storyblocks What was that? Storyblocks.com slash unmade Make sure you use the slash unmade Because that just makes us look like Like you know the good kid in class

It's time for Spoon Of the week It's time for Spoon of the Week. It's one of my favourite times in the week is hearing you sing that. I genuinely love it. It's beautiful. This is that time where we dip into the Hein Family Archive for a spoon from the years gone by

that Tim has now inherited and shows off here on the show. What do you got? Well, Brady, our spoon today is really quite something special. What would you say if I said that I had in my hand a nugget of gold? I would say, is that a euphemism? No. It's a spoon from Walhalla. Have you ever heard of Walhalla?

Not until I Googled it just before the show when you told me your spoon was from Walhalla. This gold spoon Let's not make the mistake you make every single episode And have made again Of going into stories about the place the spoon is from Before you paint the picture of what the spoon looks like Well, quite frankly, it's a nugget of gold This is really quite an unusual spoon. Firstly, it is gold all over, right?

Yeah. And the scoopy bit's gold and the stem is gold. And it's quite plain, which is, you know, classy. Just a good golden teaspoon. Yep, yep, yep. And it's the sort of teaspoon you'd expect to find in Trump Tower, really, all the way down the stem. And up the top, though, is a nugget.

It's a nugget, like a piece of gold that's been pulled out of the ground. It's not been melted down. It looks genuine. And for any primary school kid, which is the age i was when um we got this and i remember us getting it from walhalla it was gold because when you're a kid and you're anywhere near gold fields anything that's yellow is gold like it's just genuine gold yeah yeah and um and this counts too so it's quite astonishing we were able to buy this for about $4 because it looks very much like gold.

Sure, it's light as a feather and it's got some scratches. Well, gold will scratch. Gold scratches easily. It's very soft. But just to paint a slightly better picture in case you're confused by how Tim's describing it. It's a very conventional golden teaspoon. But at the handle, at the top, at the tip, where normally we talk about like enameled pictures of tourist locations.

Instead of just an enameled picture saying, you know, Adelaide. This has written the word Walhalla. And then the very top, the tip itself, is this rough simulation of a craggy golden nugget. So it looks like a golden nugget, a little nugget, a rough nugget of gold has been glued to the top of a teaspoon. Your use of the word imitation cheapens it somewhat, but yeah, sure, that's not bad. Yeah. There will be pictures, of course, in the video and the show notes. Tim, tell me about

Walhalla itself. This is obviously a gold mining town, is it, in Victoria? Yes, yes. It's a historic little township in Gippsland, down towards Tarelgon, Lakes Entrance, Churchill, the areas that we've mentioned before now where I grew up. I love you just dropping the names of previous spoons now. People are going to be like, oh, yes, yes, Lakes Entrance. People will be looking up at their own collections going, oh, damn it, Tia's just mentioned five spoons. I wish I had.

But I've still got a blank space in my lock sport position that's right well you know every i think every sort of region of every country has sort of a historic a ye olde town that they that people go to and it's like wow look how things were back in the olden days you know and they're all quite similar and that was this town although this is a genuinely historic town but it still does it plays up it's you know genuine historic township sort of ye olde feel so like for instance the little general store is you know sort of made into a real ye olde general store and there's a there's a place where you buy lollies a little lolly shop and they're all old-fashioned lollies and things like that yeah and this was all novel and the lady in the in the lolly shop is wearing one of those sort of frilly you know colonial sort of dresses and stuff you know you know what i mean i know i know what you mean and all the

lollies are that sort of sovereign hill which is another place like this in uh vict where you take the family and you'll dress up like you're gold miners. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the problem with the lolly shop or the candy shop, as some will call it, is it's all that really crap hard candy that will break your teeth and doesn't actually taste that great. Luckily there's a ye olde dentist right next door. That's right, there's a ye olde dentist right next door. That's right. That's right.

With all sorts of scary looking tools alongside it. I can see how a young Tim would have been captivated by this spoon. There is something kind of magical about the fact this looks like a real gold nugget. Like when you were young, you must have thought that was a real gold nugget sitting on there. Oh, yeah. It was like, well, it's gold. Yeah. And there it is. You was like, well, it's gold. Yeah. And there it is, you know, in the hallway of our house.

I had a lot of fun at Walhalla. I used to love going to Walhalla. It was the first time that I tried panning for gold. Oh, man. Yeah. I remember my first time as well. It's so funny because you walk down to the wall. well it's it's so funny because you walk down to the wall you just sort of feel like you'll scoop a bit of stuff in swish it around and three or four gold watches will suddenly appear at the

bottom of the pan you know like it's like it's gonna be so easy you're gonna need to pull the car up to me i want to put this huge nugget in the back of the car to take home that's right that's right yeah yeah something that you essentially you're going to walk away with something like the consolation prize from sale of the century just sitting at the bottom of the pan. But you realise, oh, it's really just going to be dust. And so you get bored with that after a little while and go, no, no, I'm interested in the big chunky stuff. No, because you always think the big one's coming.

Oh, yeah. At Sovereign Hill, they give you like, they sell you packets of dirt that are guaranteed to have a few little flecks in it. So then you go down to the creek and your mum and dad put the guaranteed packet in your pan. So you'll definitely find a few specks in there. Oh, wow. Are those bags like $1,000 each? Is that right? My dad bought eight.

I couldn't believe it. It's like, woohoo, we're rich. I love panning for gold. So in consecutive episodes, we've had Tim talk about his first wombat and now we've had his first gold panning experience. The good thing is I don't just have the memories. I've got the spoon. Yeah, everything. Every first in Tim's life's got a spoon associated with it.

I'm just picturing this like little toddler Tim getting up off his hands and knees and taking his first steps and your dad going, quick, get the spoon. Get a spoon. Come here, walking spoon. Where did it happen? Yeah. So there you go. Wall holler gold. Now, look, I think I might be tempted to melt this down

and sell it to the right bidder if anyone's interested in making an offer. I think it's worth more in its original state. Well, this is probably true. I genuinely would like to go back to Walhalla. I genuinely would like to go there and walk around. And it's actually a beautiful sort of valley place to be. And I always enjoyed our days. And it sounds like Valhalla isn't it and

valhalla is like heaven or something isn't it what's valhalla oh is it really in what in which language like german or something now let me look at the word valhalla in norse mythology valhalla is a majestic enormous hole located in asgard splendid palace roofed with shields where the warriors feast on the flesh of a boar slaughtered during the day that doesn't sound like our school excursions. No, it doesn't sound like heaven. It sounds like some people's heaven. Oh, it is in the afterlife. That's why I, yeah, it's an afterlife thing.

So it's kind of like heaven. Yeah. Okay. So where the Vikings go. Must be. And eat their boar. Hmm. Must be.

And eat their boar. We are getting ever closer to production of the Unmade Podcast commemorative souvenir spoon. This is exciting. And I'm talking close. I've seen actual metal prototypes now. And we are going to send some out. And let's spin the wheel to find out who's going to be this week's winner of a commemorative spoon. Another person who will be sent one when they're ready we have got magnus from norway magnus wow that's a coincidence i was i literally said the

word magnus today because i was looking up the etymology of magnify and magnificent i literally was looking that up and i thought the root word is magn. And now we've got a Magnus 12 hours later winning a spoon. Well, that is magnificent. You are magnificent, Magnus. Well done. Now, before people make comments, it's not that Magnus from Norway that a lot of you are thinking of. The world chess champion, Magnus Carlsen, of course, is Norwegian. This is Magnus S from Norway.

I hope that narrows it down enough. I know there are a few Magnuses. Is it Magnuses or Magnai? I know there are a few Magnai in Norway. But this is Magnus S. It's not Magnus Carlsen, who I was talking about last night. So it's a real week for Magnuses. Well, it is.

And I might go home and have a Magnum ice cream just to really get it off. Just to celebrate. There we go. So, Magnus, you've got a spoon coming your way, if I haven't sent them all to Michael Jordan by then. No. I can't wait till the spoons are delivered to you. I imagine the guy will come with one of those suitcases with, like,

cuff to his hand and a security guard and, you know, open them up. And where are you going to store them? You must have a safe arranged. I don't know where, but definitely somewhere where my wife can't see them. Why is that? I haven't told her about the spoons yet. I think that's a step too far. I haven't told her about the spoons yet. I think that's a step too far.

She already thinks I get a bit carried away with all this stuff. When she sees a bunch of commemorative spoons get delivered, I think that's going to be it. I think you just slip one into the cutlery drawer and just see what. No, you know what I should do I should like put 50 in the dishwasher Where all the spoons go So it actually opens the drawer There's just all these unmade podcast spoons

Just opens it out Mahalili I don't know if they're going to be dishwasher proof by the way I didn't check that with the manufacturers So Magnus when you get your spoon Don't necessarily put it in the dishwasher It might not be a good idea Oh no no just carefully put it on the wall. It might not be a good idea. Oh, no, no.

Just carefully put it on the wall. Give it a good little polish every now and then. That's the way to do it. Or put them in a Tupperware container like I've done it. All right. Cool. Thank you for Spoon of the Week. Yes.

Pleasure. Real cracker, that one. Possibly my favourite so far. Oh. Just on physical appearance nice possibly well i'll put it back in my secure tupperware container here which is cuffed to my hand i must say when i leave that all times get some weird looks don't you when you're walking around the shops with a tupperware container handcuffed to your arm. Full of spoons. Full of spoons. Oh dear. Idea from you. Come on. Oh yes. Do you know what? I am going to steal an idea from my nephew

Sebastian. He listens to the podcast and he's just a youngster. Now, I was talking to him the other day and he said, oh, I've got an idea for a podcast. And I was like, oh, do you? That's good. That's condescending. A bit like I am with you when you say you have an idea for the podcast. Just pat me on the head. I know. Yeah. Good on you, little fella. And then he said, my idea is called the way I do things. And I thought, oh, that's a good idea. Yeah, the way I do things. That's very interesting.

And then he gave me an example. And I was like, that's a genius idea. He gave me the example of, for example, you could have someone on the podcast talking about how they sleep. Do they sleep on their side? Do they sleep on their back? Or do they sleep on their tummy? And suddenly I was like, that's brilliant. People love talking about that. Just the different way people do the little banal things in life. Like when you sleep, Tim, how do you sleep? Do you sleep on your side, on your back, on your tummy?

On my right side. You sleep on your right side. Yeah, I sleep. At the moment I sleep. I can sleep on either side, but I tend to sleep on my side. Some people only sleep on their back or on their stomach. And I thought, yeah. And then I started thinking there are all sorts of other little things in life. You know, do you, how do you hang the laundry out? What do you keep in the fridge versus what do you keep in the cupboard? All those little mundane things in life that people just think their way is the right way. I always think they're really interesting. They're always interesting discussion points. I think, but I think I would call this podcast, I've decided to change the name yeah and i would call it my way ah nice where you

just come on and talk about how i like doing things my way yes and then you can tell me what your way is and then i can tell you why your way is wrong that's right yes that's right i mean this is another another word for this is marriage. Every now and then you bond over something called our way and their way. But most of the time it's my way. Because if that's the way it was done in your family when you were growing up, like that is the only way something can be done. There. Or you're reacting against it like, no is the only way something can be done. There.

Or you're reacting against it, like, no, we're not doing it that way. That's the way my mum always did it or something. I did it on... Yeah. What shoe do you put on first? I put my left shoe on first. I think I do as well. Do you put both socks on and then the shoes,

or you put your left sock, left shoe? I put both socks on at the same time. I jump into them simultaneously from a great height or just from yeah yeah i have these little sock holders that i know but like i put i put both socks on first and then my left shoe and then my right shoe right are there people that just put a sock and a shoe on and then a sock and a shoe on i do you know i do it like that every now and then just to mix things up a little bit i just go oh i'm just i'm just gonna put this shoe on i'm not even going to the other foot yet and i feel just to mix things up just to excite your wife

sometimes i put my shoes on and then pull my socks over my shoes. Just to mix things up. Just to mix things up a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. We're very much creatures of habit. Do you make the bed when you get out of bed in the morning? Not straight away, no.

I'll have a shower and get dressed and then make the bed. Right, yeah. I pull the doona back over straight away, yeah. Do you? I stand up, turn around, pull the doona over flat and then walk away so doona is the australian word for like a duvet for english people yeah don't you shouldn't you let the bed like air a bit after you get out yeah but then the dog comes and if he happens to wee better than the doona cover rather than the sheet and then the mattress and everything else so it doesn't take much to get your dog to wee, better than the doona cover rather than the sheet and then the mattress and everything else.

It doesn't take much to get your dog to wee at the moment as well. He just does these tiny little happy wees. Happy wees? Happy for the dog? Happy for the dog? Yeah, not happy for us. No, no. Happy wees.

I've told him off and he just goes, that's my way. That's what I I almost did a Happy Wee when we did the Unmade Podcast quiz And you fell for my trap with the Money for Nothing music I think most civilians do a Happy Wee Every time you play it too. What else is there for a way that you do things that... Definitely bed making is like, you know,

people have their particular ways when it comes to making the bed. When you turn on the TV, do you flick through channels or do you immediately put on Netflix or a street? Like, do you know what I mean? tv do you flick through channels or do you immediately put on netflix or a street like do you know what i mean how do you do that what do you go to i don't even go to normal tv anymore i just go straight to netflix yeah i'm the same you know stream yeah what about when you open your laptop do you go to twitter or do you just go to your email first of all what do you instinctively which app do you open first? Well, I think of that with my phone.

You mean what app do I go to on my phone first? Well, the phone's the same. I was thinking laptop, I guess, because I've got that open in front of me. But that's probably it. Now, I pick up my phone. I think the first thing I do is look at my email to see if there's a new email. Yep. And then Twitter.

What if there's a message in in in sms messaging like is there oh no yeah that will take priority over mail yeah yeah it's like more hierarchy yeah yeah it's like knowing the postman's been and he's like dangling it like right in front of you you know like here's your mail he's like coming to your house and going here it is waving it in front of you how do you work notifications on your phone? What makes a noise? The only thing that makes a noise is if someone phones and a song plays and the song is Perfect Day by Lou Reed

and an SMS text. And it does a little vibrate with that as well with a little electronic do-do-do and that's it okay i don't have it for email or anything else what what makes a red dot on your screen so it gives you like a notification that something's new um well it it just the sms i guess uh oh no twitter does it too doesn't it pops up but that's pretty unreliable um and facebook doesn't do it no i think it's only sms my emails do it but one of my email accounts which is one that's sort of a redundant one that i just use for bits and pieces has like thousands in there so it's sort of you

know what i mean i ignore the number now yeah are there any things you can store in the fridge or not in the fridge that you and your wife disagree about? I prefer to put most things in the fridge because it's just safer in the fridge. Like it's- The dog can't wee on it there. Nothing can go off when it's in the fridge. You know what I mean? Like I would prefer to put the bread in the fridge. Do you keep tomato sauce, ketchup in the fridge?

Yes. Yes, we do. Monster. You're we do. Monster. You're a monster. Why? You don't do that? Because it's not as nice when it's cold. But I just feel everything goes off in about four minutes if you don't keep it in the fridge.

That's my... Things going off is a paranoia I have. So... Okay. It's not a major paranoia, but enough for me to go, no, let's put it in the fridge. Yep. It hasn't affected your podcasting career. Tim went off after about episode eight.

It's like, you kept that idea on the shelf, didn't you? Should have put it in the fridge. Should have put that one in the fridge. In fact, that one should have been in the freezer should have frozen that one so are you really uh fastidious when you go shopping looking at use by dates then sell by dates and stuff no no no only once it's home only once it's home okay okay yep only once we've taken um possession and responsibility for it, then I just assume everything's just going off like almost immediately. Like it's just degrading.

So I just. This must say something about you. I don't know what, but it must say something. I like it. Forever putting things under my wife's nose going, is this off? And she's like, well, yes, mate. You know. Like, yeah, jams well you know like yeah jams you know conserves all sorts of stuff i mean there is there are a few worse things than like pulling out a loaf of bread

or something and it's gone all green and like that's pretty horrendous yeah but and that's fair enough but well before that well before that i'm like looking at it and judging it. I'm a very harsh judge when it comes to the is this off. Okay. And if it's borderline, it's going. It's going. There's a new podcast idea for Tim. Oh, that would be more of a good YouTube channel. Is this off?

You just give things to Tim and he tries to figure out if it's gone off or not. Yep. Yep. Yep. Oh, dear. So you must have quite a big fridge then. I guess so. Yeah, yeah. We have a lot of stuff in there.

We keep a lot of things in there. Tim's actually converted the spare room in his house into a huge chill room. It's a walk-in kind of deal. Yeah. We keep the TV in there just in case it goes off. He keeps his daughters in there because he wants them just to stay young forever. Stay young. That's right.

Yep. I'm like Michael Jackson in that tube thing he used to sleep in to stay young. That's why my skin is so supple. Tim's actually in a fridge right now. I used to love it. You know, years ago, one of my first jobs was cleaning a butcher. So there was a big freezer room, right? As in the shop, not the butcher himself.

That's right, yes. right as in the shop not the butcher himself no that's right yes it was um the big the big fridge the big fridge room not a freezer room it's a fridge room yeah and you oh man that sounds like a kind of disgusting job no no i quite liked it i mean it was messy but it was all right you know you're just washing trays down and getting wet and all that sort of stuff it was good fun yeah but um it fun going, oh, well, you kind of on a hot day and stuff, you want to go into the big fridge room just to stand in there and go, oh, this is nice. At other times, anything longer than about 30 seconds though. And it's like, oh, I need to get out of here now. There's one thing you find in every single butcher's fridge,

because I also did this job at another place later on, and that is a massive couple of slabs of VB beer in the corner. It's a commercial shopping centre. You know, I'd be surprised if there was no meat, I'd be like, oh, yeah, no, fair enough, they've run out of meat. But if there was no beer, I'd be like, hang on a second, something's gone wrong with this butcher. What a great life you've led that you can actually draw an experience

of the various butcher's fridges you've cleaned. Oh, yeah, totally. Supermarket at Foodland. And it's Springfield Meats. When you work in the media and it's a hot day, a really hot day, like unusually hot, one of the first things you're asked to do as a journalist is do a story about someone who's got the best job in the city. And it's always someone who works in a fridge. Come on, we want a story about someone who's got a great job today, even though it's ridiculously hot. Were you ever

called upon by the local newspaper to be the guy that's working in a fridge today on a hot day? No, I wasn't. But I know that kind of story. They must have stories like that backed up and they just wheel them out every summer. Is that right? Yeah. It's like, whoa, love to have your job. Imagine, love to have your job today, you know.

Yeah. Well, I wish I was working in a fridge. That's right. That's right. That's right. Sebastian gets the points today. Nice work. The way I do things or my way. What should we do now?

Should we do like a... Oh, something that involves me slipping in a couple of words at some stage would be helpful. Yeah. I'll tell you what, Tim. If you had a dictionary in front of you right now, what are some of the words you'd like to look up? Oh, I'd start around L. Yeah.

Yep, yep. I'd look up London. London? Yeah, yeah. I'd look through. Yeah, I mean, you know, look up. I wonder definition of London, you know. Yeah.

Capital city of England. Then where would you go? Well, after L, you move on to M. And I guess you start with M-A. What are some M-A words? Marshmallow comes to mind. Marshmallow. Mmm.

Love a good marshmallow. Yep. What's your favourite way to eat a marshmallow? Love a good marshmallow. Yep. What's your favourite way to eat a marshmallow? Well, probably just sneaking one out of the pack while I'm waiting for it to melt on a stick over a campfire. So you're eating the raw ones while you wait for one to cook?

Yep. That's always the first one you have, isn't it? Yeah. Just to test they haven't gone off. No, that's right. Do you store marshmallows in the fridge? No, we haven't. But I tell you, if they had been opened, they'd be rolled up with a good peg to hold them, you know.

Tightly. Yeah. But I don't think there's ever been a bag of marshmallows that's had to be stored already open because they're generally polished off the first. Here's a decision. We're clicking back to my idea now. Okay. Big decisions. You make the decision.

Do you prefer pink or white marshmallows? Go. I'm going pink. Pink. Pink. Oh, there's a shock. Wow. Why?

I don't know. Just if there were two sitting there, I feel like I'd take the pink one just because I like a bit of like berry flavour. You know, I like it. Do they taste different even or is it purely psychological? I don't know. No, I don't know either. But I just, my hand would go to the pink. You're a white man, eh?

I think I am a white man. Yeah. I think because I don't like things too sweet. In my mind, the pink one is going to be more candy like and sweet. I don't like things too sweet, in my mind, the pink one is going to be more candy-like and sweet. I don't like things too sweet, says the guy eating raw marshmallows. Eating his first of multiple marshmallows. So I feel like the white one's a bit plainer. It's more good for you.

It's not as bad for you as the pink ones if you order a hot chocolate at the like you know starbucks or something and they say do you want cream and marshmallows on it what do you say yeah i i couldn't do the cream no no way in the world i would get a marshmallow and then give it to one of the daughters that's for sure right yeah i always when i order a hot chocolate because i because i'm such a sweet tooth i always order a hot chocolate i don't like coffee and i generally wouldn't order tea so i always order a hot chocolate yeah and they always say do you want cream and marshmallows and i always say no thank you thinking they must be impressed by how healthy i am

like i always feel a little bit proud of my decision that I've, like, I've taken the healthy option. Like, you're proud of yourself in the moment. Yeah. It's the same when you're at McDonald's and I'm like, you're at the drive-thru window at McDonald's and you say, can I have two quarter pounders, a double cheeseburger, nine nuggets, large fries and a Diet Coke, please? Oh, he had a diet Coke. No wonder he's so trim. Oh, well done. Well, it's good to have some areas of our life that are well disciplined and fit.

Yeah, exactly. Exercising incredible restraint. I think we'll do it. I think we probably haven't quite got time for a Patreon supporter idea today, but we've got a few good ones there in the bank. Can I just say thank you to all our Patreon supporters? Yeah. Oh, and by the way, I just remembered something that we should mention.

I was thinking we promised we would do another read-through of patron names before the end of the year, like read through the list. Did we? Like we did halfway through the year. Yeah, I thought it might be a nice thing to do as Christmas approaches. So, I'm going to set a cut-off for the end of November to be on that, to be included in that list when we record it. So, if you become a Patreon supporter by the end of November, you will be on the next list reading. And it's going to be my turn to read through the list this time because Tommy Ball Tim did it last time.

Yep. Patreon.com slash Unmade FM. And are you going to be adopting some kind of accent or persona? Some sort of character. Are you going to be in character as Brady Haran? I don't know. If anyone's got any suggested characters, let me know that I could do it in. But after listening to you go through the ordeal of doing it in Tommy Bull Tim character, I'm not sure.

It sounded pretty tiring. It was tiring. It also was kind of natural, though. I stopped thinking about what I was doing, but it just kept flowing, which tells you something. Yeah. I'll tell you what I did the other day, talking of characters. The other day, for the first time ever, I pulled out in front of my daughter's Donald Duck voice and their heads just about blew off with excitement.

They couldn't believe what they were hearing. I don't think they've ever heard Donald Duck before. I didn't know you could do Donald Duck. Well, I don't know if I do it particularly well. I just sort of did it and they were just amazed. How do you do it? Like, how do you even do it? You sort of just kind of sort of pull your cheeks in a bit or...

I can't think how I would even do one. I can't think how I would even do one. Yes. I think I did a happy wee. For hours, they just fed me lines. Say this. Say this. Say Unmade Podcast.

The trouble is you can't actually really say anything at all. You have to read the Patreon list in that voice. I love it. I can't believe we've been doing all these episodes and you've waited till now to pull out that piece of gold. Well, I didn't think it was gold. I just, it's just a little voice I do every now and then. I just realised in their entire lives, I'd never done it.

And I just did it the other day. It came to mind and they looked at me like, what the heck was that? Oh, seriously. Next Sunday when you do your service, you've got to pull that one out. You think I can do a whole sermon as Donald Duck? How many minutes into it do you think I'd have to break character to explain what was going on? I don't know. But as we've come to the end of this episode do you want to do you want

to see us off with a big farewell farewell from donald duck i can't do it i can't do it laughing i'll say i'll say good night everybody oh that is my ringtone sorted