The Unmade Podcast - 71: Australia Day

Episode Date: January 26, 2021

Tim and Brady Haran (OAM) discuss Australia Day, honours, Two Piece Feed's debut, a change to Australia's National Anthem, national days, an INXS Sofa Shop cover, spoon of the week, Uluru, renaming stuff, window views, fax paper, and fairy bread. Hover - register your domain now and get 10% off by going to hover.com/unmade - https://www.hover.com/Unmade Support us on Patreon for a chance to submit ideas, win spoons, appear on our wall of thanks, and lots of other stuff - https://www.patreon.com/unmadeFM Join the discussion of this episode on our subreddit - https://redd.it/l5alpe USEFUL LINKS Australia Day - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australia_Day The Medal of the Order of Australia - https://www.pmc.gov.au/government/its-honour/medal-order-australia Two Piece Feed band pic - https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/5990824849fc2b4c4fe4211b/1611586668016-J4HQTNEG6LEFLLX1KHBA/twopiecefeed.jpg?format=2500w&content-type=image%2Fjpeg Two Piece Feed official merch at twopiecefeed.band - https://teespring.com/two-piece-feed Advance Australia Fair - the national anthem of Australia - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advance_Australia_Fair List of National Days - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_day Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie - https://amzn.to/368Wj3U Thanks Emperor Tigerstar for your Sofa Shop cover and check out many of our Sofa Shop Covers here - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRNeH_Kpl1ZgpeiNeJ-oiAQ INXS Need You Tonight - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-rv2BQa2OU Pictures of Spoon of the Week - https://www.unmade.fm/spoon-of-the-week Ayers Rock/Uluru - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uluru Neeharika's Window Picture - https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/5990824849fc2b4c4fe4211b/1611586765598-8YUVU0XNNWTY89VR0L0R/neeharika.jpg?format=2500w&content-type=image%2Fjpeg The Adelaide Crows 1997 Premiership - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1997_AFL_Grand_Final Fairy Bread - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fairy_bread

So we are bringing you a special Australia Day episode because January the 26th is Australia Day. It hasn't always been January the 26th, has it? No, I think it pretty much has because that was the day that the first fleet landed in New South Wales. And, you know, Captain Arthur Phillip raised the British flag at what was to become Sydney. So it's Britain Day, really, isn't it? When an English person raised an English flag, it's Australia Day. So it's Britain Day, yeah. It's a bit contested actually.

I mean, it has become a bit of a sensitive subject about celebrating Australia Day on that day because, of course, there were people that had already been living here for a very long time. It is. But that's a discussion for another day. But for now, January 26 is australia day and by the way to to mark the occasion if you happen to be watching the youtube version of this i'm going to make a special looping video which is going to zoom in on different famous landmarks

around australia and you can watch that and see if you can guess what they all are if you recognize them just as something to do to accompany your listening, if, you know, if we're too boring. That's right. Perish the thought, man. Well, can I just... I'm going to just make a speech at this point, man, because I tell you, there's something very exciting that I want to share with the civilians and any new listeners regarding one of the hosts of the Unmade podcast. And that is that on Australia Day, like we have Australia Day honours that are announced.

You know, different countries honour their citizens in different ways. And in Australia, we have a range of Australia Day honours that are announced. You know, different countries honour their citizens in different ways. And in Australia, we have a range of Australia Day honours. And the great Dr Brady Haran has been awarded or will be awarded, we've been given foreknowledge of, the Order of Australia, which is an absolutely massive honour. Wow. Well, it is. It is a massive honour. Well. Well, it is. It is a massive honour.

It's a wonderful honour. Arise, arise, Sir Brady. I don't get to be Sir Brady. I do get to put, I think, O-A-M at the end of my name. Om. Om. And what's the Om? This is the Order of Australia.

The Order of Australia is like, you know, this group of people that get this honour, and there are different levels of it. And I am at the lower level, which means I get the medal of the Order of Australia. So it means Order of Australia. So, I mean, for people who don't know about these sort of things, it's kind of like imagine the Victoria Cross combined with the Nobel Prize and the Brownlow Medal, and it's nothing like any of those.

The Presidential Medal of Freedom. Yeah, Congressional Medal of Honour. No, it's a thing they twice a year. It's for people from Britain. They'll know all about the honours, like, you know, your OBEs and MBEs and the knighthoods that the queen gives out this is the australian version of that so the medal the medal of the order of australia that's right well this is fantastic now tell me a little bit about this because this is interesting like firstly it is a literal medal

are you being given a medal is it like the olympics where you stand on a dice and you you know with you maybe you're like are you the bronze like because it's a little bit further down and the person who's getting yeah yeah my yeah i have to i have to uh get three tokens from cornflakes packets and send them in and that's right no and if you get a nice like green and gold track suit that you'll be wearing while you receive the medal? There is a medal. It's really nice medal, actually. I have to say, I didn't know much about this.

It was a complete shock and surprise. And actually, funnily enough, the first way I found out about it was I was just occasionally, like, once or twice month, I'd check my junk mail in my email. Yes. And there was just one bit of junk mail that had gone to my spam folder that caught my eye. I was like, oh, what's that? And I opened it. It was a quite official-looking email, and it said you're under consideration for this.

Would you be willing to accept it? And if you are willing to accept it, you had to go to this website and fill out this form because I guess if people don't want the honour, they don't want people rejecting it. And that's all a bit embarrassing, I guess. So, anyway. So, I had this junk mail.

I thought it was a prank. Like, I was sure someone was playing a joke on me. But I checked it out and checked a few things and it seemed legit. So, I filled out this form saying, well, yeah, of course, that'd be amazing, you know. And then it said, you haven't won, you're under consideration. And then it just went silent again for a few months. And then a while later, another email landed, I think in my junk mail again.

Yeah. Saying, you've got it. You're going to be announced on Australia Day. It's announced twice a year, on Australia Day and another one in June. They do a list. And that was it. A couple of things. Firstly, the fact that it went to your junk mail, do you reckon they're just spamming

these emails out to the whole country and just seeing who checks their junk mail? Yeah. You're essentially being rewarded for checking your junk mail. It's basically, you're a diligent person. Well done. So, you know, I went to the website. I put in my credit card details and, you know, next thing I knew, it was all happening.

I was made a prince from a nation in Africa through that. It's the exact same process. It's incredible. Yeah. Some millionaire died and left me the order of australia another question is um what if it is a prank but it's a prank by the governor like in the government so they're actually using all the official channels to like woo you there on the day to government house and then they go nah gotcha nah it's just spare yeah that would be like that would

be pretty cruel that would be yeah yeah that's right but i haven't ruled it out trust me so i still i still there was still part of me that thinks it's a joke so um because you know obviously i've seen like you know really famous people get these things and also you know, really famous people get these things. And also, you know, really amazing people that have baked 10 million hot cross buns for cancer research. And they're kind of the two extremes. And I don't really know where I fit into the spectrum, but. I'm going to resist the temptation to divert onto hot cross buns because my wife brought them home last night and like, it's just, they're wonderful. I'm a big fan of hot cross buns being available all year round, but let's not go down that rabbit hole.

As tempting as it is. It's my own fault. I shouldn't have brought up food. I have to say, I can vouch for the fact that this is legitimate because one of the processes involved in this is they obviously do, it's almost like a background check on someone. I was contacted by the Australia Day Honours Committee. Look, it would be maybe a year ago, maybe longer, maybe 18 months ago.

And it was saying, you know, congratulations, your close friend is being nominated for an Australian medal, which is one of the great emails to receive in your life. Yeah. Because I tweeted straight away straight away everyone i got an email it came straight to my main email box not my junk mail right so it was particularly prickly particularly harsh no no and and so it was saying look you've you've been nominated you know this person and it asked for a whole bunch of information on you all the dirt so i just wrote back with a whole bunch of witty funny stories about us driving around in the 90s you know that sort of thing uh nice i can't believe they asked you to vouch for me and i still got it yeah i know

obviously my email went to their junk mail because he still got the award um i know one other person i know they asked was Sir Martin Polyakov here in the UK. So having a night to vouch for you probably cancelled out all your stories. That's right. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, hopefully he started his, despite what you may have heard from his co-host, Tim, I can say that Brady is worthwhile. No, well, it was an opportunity to reflect on you and

write some really complimentary things about you and essentially they ask at the end you know would you support this basically do you think this person's worthy of the order of australia and um yeah and uh we won't go into what i said but uh you're getting it and that's great. The, um, I guess the fact you're a Reverend probably helped as well. So thanks for that. I have to say I did when I found out that yourself and Professor Polyakov and I don't know who else vouched for me when I found out you had done that and kept it a secret all that time. Like, I know you have to keep it a secret.

That's the rules. And, you know, good on you. But I did feel a little bit like deceived. Like you'd been keeping that from me all this time. Like, I know you have to keep it a secret. That's the rules. And, you know, good on you. But I did feel a little bit, like, deceived. Like, you'd been keeping that from me all this time. Yes. Yes. Yeah. It was strange because part of it, I want to celebrate with you and say, hey, guess what? You've been nominated for this. How cool is this? But firstly, they're very, very clear in the communication. You must not do that. Secondly, I knew it would be, I mean, it gets awkward if, you know, if for some reason they decide not to give it to you.

I mean, I imagine they've got a list of people that are nominated and they're checking them all out and let's say it's your year in. That reason mainly being the stuff that you wrote. That's right. They, you know what I mean? It's kind of like because, and then it didn't happen then it starts to be a bit oh that's a bit of a shame it's a bit like i'm gonna buy you something amazing for your birthday but i'm not gonna tell you what it is and then your birthday comes around you're like

yeah i decided not to get that you know it's just a little bit but i um i actually had thought about it i generally forgot about it because it had been a while ago. But every now and then I remembered it and felt a bit bad for you. Like, oh, that hasn't happened. And I hope it happens one day. And maybe he's a bit further down the list and that'll come up. But obviously these things just take time to process properly. I mean, I know nothing about it, but I've since read on the website it takes like 18 months to two years. Well, that's right.

Yeah, that's pretty perfect yeah yeah yeah well but there's like apparently there's this investiture ceremony so you go to like i think the government house of your home state and like you know you take your parents or something and you have tea and scones and they pin up they pin the medal on you but like i don't know what's going to happen to me like i can't come all the way back to australia and spend another two weeks in a hotel in quarantine for a like 15 minute i don't know if they going to happen to me. Like I can't come all the way back to Australia and spend another two weeks in a hotel in quarantine for like 15 minutes. I don't know if they do a UK version or they're just going to send it in the post or I don't know. I don't know what's going to happen.

Wow. Maybe you could go along on my behalf. Maybe I could. I'm actually getting the Vice Order of Australia medal. In case you are not able to fulfill your duties i have to step in as a co-host um it's a bit like miss america you know if miss america is unable to fulfill her duties then they have like the runner-up ready to step in or or the vice president and um i've actually been contacted or if i'm assassinated if you're

do you reckon you get secret service protection, immediately from when it's announced or from when you got the email or from when it's actually invested? Yeah, I haven't. None of that has been communicated as yet. But anyway, can I just say to a big thank you to Australia? And in all seriousness, i will say one thing because where else can i say it and that is obviously i've gotten this according to the like the um citation it's for you know broadcast and online media which is probably pretty obvious i don't think it's for my services to cricket um so so um as much as i wish that was true and and as a result i'm aware of like the incredible

number of people who i interview and make videos with and all that sort of stuff that has made it all possible and like i'm not blind to the fact i'm pretty indebted to those people so thank you everyone and thank you everyone in australia well i hope i haven't forgotten anyone. Well, on behalf of a grateful nation, thank you for your thank you. And on behalf of everyone you've ever interviewed, you're welcome. We share this medal with you, this honour with you. I read some of, like, in one of the forms they sent me,

I had some of the stuff that had been sent in, you know, biographical stuff. And the Unmade podcast was mentioned. Oh. So, you know, this is part of it. There you go. That's wonderful. So the civilians have, like, everyone has a little part

of something like this. Everyone should be very proud. In fact, you will find Unmade Order of Australia merchandise available on our website. We'll sell T-shirts with the little medals on the breast there. Oh, that's great. No, that's fantastic. Absolutely wonderful and well-deserved as well for the innovative way you've done this. You were talking one day about YouTube I mean, talk about YouTube, you talk about podcasting. I think at the time when

we had that conversation, it's like, well, 10 years ago, this didn't exist. Well, a bit more now, isn't it? It's about 12 or 13 or 14 years ago. Whole industry didn't, you know what I mean? It didn't exist. It's been a, you've been a real leader and innovator in that whole world, and massively so. And it's thrilling to see. And I feel very, very proud to be your friend and what you've achieved. And on behalf of the governor, I now bestow you with the honour of a star. I haven't strictly been given the authority to do that, but I'm sure he'd want me to do it.

I feel incredibly uncomfortable when you're nice, so let's get back to business. Do you have any sponsors that you would like to thank on this case? Remember when I won the Swimming Carnival medal And I thanked all the sponsors that were advertised Around the swimming centre Yes, I remember I feel like this has evened the ledger now I was worried we weren't going to get the swimming carnival mentioned at all

But luckily we got it in Well that's the other great bit Between us we've only ever been given two gold medals And now I feel I feel the ledger's even And so I feel better about that. So that's good. All right.

Speaking of great honours, though, and great moments in life, in the last episode when we were doing the sofa shop stuff, you talked about how a friend had asked you to join them to play music at a wedding and how you'd almost teared up with pride and happiness that you'd finally been had your music recognized and you were going to get to perform. Yes. Yes. Now, I've since learned a bit more information about the circumstances of this. Yes.

And it turns out the person who asked you to perform with them was none other than unmade Colonel herself, Katrina. Yes, yes, that's right. Who listens to the podcast, who is in your congregation and plays in the band at your church. And, like, I don't want to take anything away from your honour here, Tim, but do you think maybe you were being thrown a bit of a bone here? Do you think this was a sympathy invite? Is that what you're saying?

I mean, were you talking to Katrina, like, over a coffee, and she said, oh, I'm playing at so-and-so's wedding, and you kind of said, can I play with you? No, no, it wasn't. And then there was this terrible power imbalance. I was like, you know how we made you a colonel? I was like, you know how we made you a colonel? Well, you want to keep that status, don't you?

Look, it was not at all like that. I was honoured because Katrina's a pretty accomplished musician. She went, like, through the conservatorium and stuff and she's, you know, can actually play stuff, unlike me. And so the only thing I would question here is is her judgment but i would not question her motives well i have since seen a picture of the two of you uh in action yes uh katrina at the keyboard and you on guitar yes i love the name of your band yes you want to share that with us two-piece feed band. Do you want to share that with us? Two-piece feed. Nice. And the picture you sent, well, actually it was the picture Katrina sent behind your back to me of the two of you was so cheesy. It looked like a 1970s album cover. I absolutely loved it.

How did it go? How was your performance? What was the feedback you got? Absolutely loved it. Yeah. How did it go? How was your performance? What was the feedback you got? Oh, look, it was, look, a couple of things. Firstly, Katrina let it be known that I wasn't the first guitarist that she'd approached for this particular wedding gig.

She asked me, you realise. She really went everywhere to ask people. Yeah. But I, oh, look, I was honoured. We did a pretty good job. Look, it was one of those – it was at our church, and actually my wife was doing the wedding for our friends. It was, you know, and so that was really, really lovely.

I was doing a short speech, and then I was in – So she was like the celebrant. That's right. That's right. That's right. And the couple getting married also, you know, listeners of the podcast and love it as well. So it was very much an Unmade podcast themed wedding.

It sounds like every single person who listens to the podcast was at this wedding. They only invited civilians. The invites went out via Patreon. That's right. Everyone had to wear a Honey Prawns T-shirt or you didn't get in. So that was the occasion. Look, it went pretty well.

We did a couple of songs and we practised hard. And look, to be honest, I had not played guitar for about six months just because we'd moved house and I just didn't have the guitar around. And so your fingers actually get a bit... And you don't know how to play. I don't know how to play. That's right. So I had to relearn.

I had to reteach myself guitar. But also the tips of your fingers, when you play guitar a lot, they harden up and it's fine. But if you haven't played for a while, you do it again and it hurts. It hurts to hit the steel strings and hold them down. So I did a bit of a practice and was like, oh, this hurts a bit. Did you play until your fingers bled? bit of a practice and was like oh this hurts a bit did you play until your fingers bled it was a bit like that yes nice so i i um for days and days i was tapping my fingers

on the desk at work and all that just trying to harden them up and um it was like a montage like the montage from Rocky IV. I was running in the snow. I was climbing mountains. That's right. Doing push-ups on my strumming arm. Yeah. So we came to play.

Now, we did a bit of a practice, right? A couple of nights beforehand. Katrina, of course, just flies through all the songs like perfectly, whereas'm just there going all right here we go okay stop stop uh what's that chord you know it's there's a lot of that going on and she sort of rolls her eyes comes around and very patiently you know gets a pencil writes it in goes and sits down again okay here we go she plays it flawlessly again she's also singing at the same time I wasn't invited to sing but we weren't that's That's another conversation. Yeah, look, it went pretty well.

One song I was very nervous about. It's just a bit more complex, but that went flawlessly. And then we did another song and that also went, like, okay. We then had, we were playing a song by Coldplay just as an instrumental during the signing of the register, you know, when you go sign the wedding documents and stuff. And it's the song Paradise by Coldplay. We weren't singing it, but we were just going to play it over the top as a sort of, you know, musical entertainment while that stuff's going on. And so I had the music for that there,

and I also had the music for another song that we were going to do. And somewhere along the line, because there are multiple pages, while playing the other song, I suddenly segued, as I got to the second half of it, onto a new page. I accidentally segued into Coldplay. So I'm going, this is the wrong, and I'm looking at myself going, this doesn't sound right. And I'm looking even closer going, that's the wrong, and I'm looking at myself going, this doesn't sound right. And I'm looking even closer going, that's the chord, that's the chord.

But somehow I've done what could be, in my own mind, a beautiful mashup of this particular chorus and can't play it. And so all I had to do was sort of slowly stop strumming, stand back and just look serious, like, it's okay, folks, that's all just, you know, a little bit of an ambient piece. Let Katrina continue playing. While I quickly did a little bit of filing and shuffling, trying to find the right piece of paper and bring it to the front.

And then I... I mean, does this mean that this couple is, like, not officially married now because you played the wrong bit of music? No, it's... Thankfully, my wife was doing a very competent job holding up her end and Katrina didn't stop playing. And yes, no, it was all fine in the end. Will there be further performances from Two Piece Feed down the road?

Oh, look. Oh, look, I don't know about that. You know how they say... It's the same with KFC. You know, two-piece just isn't enough. It's not enough of a meal. I think we need a three or four-piece, and those extra two pieces need to also be guitarists perhaps.

Yeah, you're a bit like what Bez or whatever he's called in Happy Mondays whose job is just to, like, dance and be a bit weird at the back of the stage. That's right. Is that Happy Mondays? Is that Bez's one? That's it. Man, I'm very impressed with your... Thank you.

Thank you. Yeah, Manchester music reference there. Well done. Well done. No, Bez is everywhere at the moment. So, yeah, he's a... Anyway, nice one. We'll ask Katrina and and tim uh whether or

not we can get the rights to that picture to release because it is a classic picture but it may be uh it may need to go through a careful vetting process it's where we cut it in half and only have katrina now look speaking of austral Australia Day and speaking of music, something I thought we should mention on the show that non-Australians might not know, but this is kind of a big deal. And we talk a lot about national anthems on the show. We've had whole episodes devoted to national anthems. They have changed a word in the Australian national anthem. Yes, yes.

Just this year. For the new year, they changed it, didn't they? That's right, absolutely. I didn't know this was coming. The first I heard of it was I saw a news story on New Year's Day or something saying, Australia's national anthem, they've changed a word. I was like, what? And I didn't know what the word was.

So for about 10 seconds between seeing the tweet and clicking on the story, I had all sorts of things going through my head. Like, what have they changed? What have they done? Have they finally ditched Gert? Advance Australia Brady is what the new title of the National Anthem is. You kept it a secret all that time. Yes, we're contacting you now.

We're thinking of changing the national anthem. Got a form. Would you be willing to accept your name being in the title of our national anthem? I ticked yes. Can I just say, I've just checked my junk mail and I've been nominated for a Grammy. Look at this. This is quite good. Two-piece feed.

Can I say one more thing about two-piece feed? Because they streamed their wedding online and so forth, I think they were going to put it on on youtube to to share it with other relatives that weren't there or something like that but it was not after the the youtube algorithm picked up on the coldplay performance thought it was coldplay live and rejected it and kicked it off youtube is that legit yes yes so obviously we played it well enough so that we were mistaken for Coldplay. Either that or Coldplay's standards of musicianship have dropped considerably. Well, Tim, I can assure you your money for nothing solo has never caused us any copyright problems.

The algorithm is unable to distinguish what's true and what's not. It doesn't actually acknowledge it as music. We think this is some Russian interference of some kind. It might be music. No, it's not music. Don't be ridiculous. Do you want to tell the civilians the change to the national anthem? Yes. Well, the Australian national anthem starts off,

Australians all let us rejoice for we are young and free. For we are young and free. And they've changed the word young to one. And the reason they've done that is because, well, from the perspective of, and we alluded to this beforehand, firstly, it's an old land and there are peoples who have been here, first peoples who have been here for thousands of years. So inferring that it's a for we are young talking about as a young country uh certainly excludes that history um yes now you could be

technical and say well the song is about the the federation of australia you know which is um only 100 years old it is a very young country in fact part of me kind of likes that because it is a it means it reminds us that we're still fledgling. You know what I mean? We're not like Italy, you know, with a long kingdom or Britain. You know, it's the new world and it's a young country. And so we've got lots to learn and we're naive. That would be a charitable way of keeping it.

A lot of people felt excluded by it. And so the word has been changed to remind us that we're not a young country. We're on a very old land. So young has become one. One. Yeah. So as you can imagine, everyone's feeling a profound sense of unity. No one's angry with each other anymore.

People have reconciled. The country's all fixed. It's mum. It's mum. Who would have thought? That's all it took's it's my it's my who would have thought that's all it took birds are singing you know yeah yeah there we go what do you think about it what do you think about this look i think i think i'm like a traditionalist right and i don't like changing old things i like you know because i like things lasting a long time. Yep. But I think that is probably the right decision.

It sounds the same enough that it's not like they've inserted some new whole verse that's, you know, overly worthy. They've changed one word for another one that sounds pretty similar anyway and have removed something that was, you know, it was, I guess it is pretty offensive to be saying, yeah, we're a young new country that's only existed since the white people got to Australia. That's right, yeah. So I think it's the right call. You know, I don't like seeing things change and, you know, I sang it that other way for all these years and have fond memories of the anthem, but, you know,

it's a pretty minor change. I'm all right with it. Yeah, yeah. And as a member of the Order of Australia, you know, that counts for a lot did you get to vote on this or because you haven't been bestowed yet you didn't get a voice oh they've actually asked me for a whole rewrite for next year can i say i think the whole national anthem is actually pretty naff so i don't mind any

improvement is good i think it's you know, I think it's a bit empty. It's just sort of we've got rocks and plains and it's big and there's sea. And it's like, yeah, there's some pretty awesome other seas and lakes and rocks and mountains around the world as well that are even more impressive. Hardly any mention of sofas. No mention of sofas whatsoever. No. No mention of the great contribution the Colonel has made to Australia.

Name a town that doesn't have a KFC in it. I mean, really, it's everywhere. Oh, I thought you meant Katrina. Sorry, I need to be more specific. You know, if we were doing our competition that we ran between national anthems, Australia, I don't rate it very well. It's not a good national anthem. Feeling a bit of cultural cringe is a very Australian thing. We're not the sort of people who put our hand on our heart and go, here we go.

You know, it's only been our national anthem as well for about 40 years, isn't it? Like, it's not very long. We're not young anymore man it's very appropriate that we that we change the national anthem just as we sort of coming into this middle-aged stage of life where we're not we're no longer young or free i i noticed that brady and tim have hit their mid 40s it's time to change the national anthem we can't have them singing young and free. All right. Ideas for a podcast. Yeah. In keeping with the theme of it being Australia Day,

I'm going to throw an idea out there. And this idea is called, well, let's call it National Day because most countries in the world have a national day of some sort. Some of them have multiple days that you could consider to be their national day. And I like the idea of a podcast that, you know, comes out intermittently, but it always comes out. It's about the country that's having its national day that day. national day that day. So if it was the 19th of August, our episode would be all about Afghanistan, which has its Independence Day from the United Kingdom on the 19th of August. And the list goes on and on. Every country. In Barbados, 30th of November. In Bhutan, we have the 17th of December.

The Republic of Congo, 15th of August. Whenever your episode comes out, you have that country's national day. An even better podcast would be, if we were going like fantasy podcast now, would be you go to the country on that day. So you're just this travelling person who wants to be in each country on its national day and be part of the celebrations in the streets and the capital and stuff like that. I like that. Oh, yeah. Nice.

Be expensive and be difficult but there you go so you know on the 18th of february you're in the gambia on the 6th of march you're in ghana you get you get the idea i get the idea it was just it's just the state of the world at the moment you think oh just travel it just sounds amazing it's like it's like keep going man just keep reading them i'm like oh man i want to find out if there's one that's celebrated on the 18th of june which is my birthday 14th of june falkland island 10th of june french guyana 17th of june is iceland's national day that's the day before my birthday oh yes they obviously get it out of the way you know well and truly so truly, so they're free and ready, prepared for your birthday.

But this is, you know, 17th of June, you're in Iceland, and then you nip over to Luxembourg on the 23rd of June for the Grand Duke's official birthday. Oh, fantastic. Grand Duke, what a wonderful title that is. Yeah, it's not bad. What's your birthday again? 28th of April.

Oh, yes, of course. That's the day that Sardinia in Italy celebrates the Sardinian revolution and expulsion of a viceroy. Indeed. That's right. So 28th of April, Sardinia. There you go. National days.

I think it could be fun. It's a good little peg just to talk about the world, isn't it? It is. Yeah. Yeah. So the United States, they have like an Independence Day. Is that right? Yeah, that would be theirs, wouldn't it? It is. Yeah. Yeah. So the United States, they, they do, they have it like an independence day. Is that right? Or? Yeah, that would be theirs, wouldn't it? Some countries, it's confusing as to what the day is, but I would say the United States. Yeah. Fourth of July.

Of course. Independence from the UK. Yeah. Independence day. Basically all of the, half the world's national days, the day they were happy to leave the British empire. Half the world's national day is the day they were happy to leave the British Empire. Exactly. You read a lot. That is exactly true, reading down this list. And, you know, one of the only countries in the world that doesn't have a national day is the United Kingdom. No, so I was going to ask, is the Queen's birthday that day?

What's the closest thing to a national day? Yeah, they kind of use the Queen's birthday as their national day, which they celebrate on the second Saturday in June, which is nowhere near the actual Queen's birthday. Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah. So one of the greatest, you'd have to say, one of the greatest gifts the British Empire has given to the world is all these public holidays. Like everyone gets down. That's looking on the bright side of colonialism. Hey, look, we gave you a holiday when we finally parted ways. Sri Lanka, 4th of February. Independence from the United Kingdom in 1948.

What does an India would be the same? And I've forgotten 1940. Well, we will come to this again later, but India's national day is today, the 26th of January. Same as Australia. Oh, there you go. And that was, they call that Republic day when they adopted the constitution okay their independence from the british empire is 15th of august and they also have another one on the another day for father of the nation uh on the 2nd of october but 26th of january is their national day same as us there's a

selman rushty wrote that interesting book, great novels, Midnight's Children, about this, all the children that were born at the stroke of midnight on the day of independence for India. So they were born as India was sort of born and uses that as a motif. So that's, again, I think that's because he was born near there or somewhere when it occurred. Nice one. Nice one. Well, yeah. So, okay, that's a good idea.

Talking around the world. Yeah, just a bog standard idea. Just bang an idea out. It's a bit of a Tim idea, really, let's be honest. But, you know, it's... No, if it was a Tim idea, I would have called it, like, The Children of Midnight or something. The Children of Midnight or something.

And I would have started with that story and then gone on to... Yeah. After a minute, you would have interrupted and said, sorry, so this is an idea about national days. And I'm like, well, yeah, that's... What are some other famous ones? Bastille Day, 14th of July, France. Ah, yeah. The other thing that would have made a good Tim idea is, like,

my favourite national days where you'd order them. So let me ask, man, what's your top three national days out of all the ones you've mentioned? Top three national days. Oh, look, I don't like to choose between. It's like choosing between your children. I can't do it. You've been to so many.

You've been around the world. All right. That's got the idea i got the idea let's talk about our sponsor for today it's hover hover magnificent hover your one-stop shop your website you go to to register domain names and do you know what you can register australian domain names like dot com dot au and dot net dot au if you go to hover see what i did there uh nice work man yes lovely work yep can i say every day is hover day isn't it really it's it's if hover was a nation every day would be its special day because it's it's um uh it's available every day you can get all its full services every day hover is completely independent of the united kingdom that's right that's right and every day it celebrates it by offering for for a small charge i mean it's a business you know

yeah you gotta eat you know lands countries throughout the internet that's, it's a business, you know. Yeah, you've got to eat. You know, lands, countries throughout the internet. That's what it's offering, really, saying you can have this. A domain is like a space, like a land, like a country. Basically saying here you can have online countries and you can name whatever you want. You can plant your flag. That's right. Plant your flag on the internet by having a good domain name. That's what you do when you have a domain name.

That's right. You are starting the nation of you. They're like explorers. So if you've got an idea or something you want to do, get yourself a domain name and Hover is the best place to do it. Brilliant website. I do all my domain registering through Hover. In fact, I registered a domain today, Tim.

I went on to Hover because I wanted to check whether they had like.com,.au and stuff for this little mention. And I noticed they had a special going on the.store domains. So I actually bought unmade.store because I thought that's pretty cool. And I have it divert directly to our T-shirts and stuff that we sell on Teespring. So, you know, now I can just be on the show and say to people, hey, go to unmade.store and buy your t-shirts nice nice work lovely work yeah if you've got an idea for a domain name you can get 10 off your first purchase with hover by going to hover.com slash

unmade hover.com slash unmade seriously it's it's such a pleasure to use. It's so easy to use, and they're a really great sponsor of the show. So thank you, Hover. Thank you, Hover. Now, Tim, just really quickly, I would like to play another Sofa Shop cover. For people who don't know, the Sofa Shop jingle that we much love and talk about very often, we accept covers that are sent in from listeners we've featured many in recent times and i thought it would be good to have an australian style one today and i do have one sitting here on the shelf so i thought i'd play that if that's all right with

you whip it out whip it out it comes from emperor tiger star i don't know if that's their real name or like an alias but that's an amazing name i don't know maybe mr and mrs tiger star decided to call their firstborn emperor i don't know but tiger star anyway anyway emperor tiger star says hello huge fan of the podcast and even though i'm from missouri in the us i do enjoy several australian bands so i figured i'd use garage band on my ipad to try and make an in excess style cover of the sofa shop jingle hope you enjoy and may the podcast ideas continue to flow so it's already started but here is the in excess version of the sofa shop from emperor tiger star Like a star. What did you think of that, Tim? That's great.

That's great. Yes, yes. I like the work there. I like In Excess. They've sort of got their big hits and, you know, that one's New Sensation, I think, isn't it? Is that right? Or was it No?

Need You Tonight, that's right But there's those big hits off kick But I think on their other albums and deeper cuts They've got a whole bunch, they run deep And there's some great music A really interesting pop rock band Funk, yeah They're not like a two-piece feed, flesh in the pan, one gig only type band

They're in it for the long haul, yeah Well, I noticed Katrina didn't approach them to play with her at the wedding She came to me flesh in the pan one gig only type band they're like they're in it for the long haul yeah well i noticed katrina didn't approach them to play with her at the wedding she came to me no so i mean you know need i say more really i mean yeah come on that's great good work good work thank you emperor tiger star i i mean the only way i could have topped that was if i'd played a didgeridoo version of the sofa shop we have not got one of those yet. No, that's right. If you're out there and you play the didgeridoo, send us your sofa shop cover, unmadefm at gmail.com. I bet you Katrina plays the didgeridoo and she's going to send one in now.

She plays everything, doesn't she? Yeah. Yeah, she does. That would be impressive. That would be impressive that would be impressive emperor can i i just can't say it's emperor as in the last emperor emperor type well the emperor as in emperor palpatine yes yes indeed yes and tiger star as in tiger and star yeah that's the greatest name in the world it's like just an internet name.

I don't think it's their real name, Dem. No, I think it's their real name. I think we should... I think it's a beautiful... Tigerstar. I mean, if George Lucas had thought of that, he would have called him Luke Tigerstar instead of Luke Skywalker. I think that's a fantastic name.

I would have been cool with that. Tigerstar's pretty cool. Maybe it's the tiger bit that I like because of the Richmond Tigers. But, yeah, Tigerstar. I'd like you to call me Tim Tigerstar from now on. That's my name. Tim Tigerstar. All right.

Not Emperor Hine. No, no, no, no. I don't like those honours. I don't like to receive those sorts of honours. I'm not big on titles. These meaningless, pompous honours. I don't like to receive those sorts of honours. I'm not big on titles. Meaningless, pompous honours. That's right, yes. Reverend Dr Tim Hyde.

If you got offered the Order of Australia, would you turn it down? Like, you know, because you're a man of principle. Well, what principle would I be holding to to turn it down? I actually have thought about this and wondered about it as a minister because if I did, I would do it because of the way I'm doing, I guess guess my job you know the same but there's my job is it's service but i'm getting paid for it and it's it's ministry but would it so would it reflect well or not well or what i don't i don't actually

know but i guess i would probably accept it because that's the that's the thing you do unless there was some strong reason not to. Like, I don't know. I don't know. I can't think why I wouldn't do it. You might disagree with the government's policies. That's normally a reason, isn't it? Like, you know, you disagree with what your country's doing. My country shouldn't be at war or something,

and therefore I don't want to accept an honour from my country. You could do that. It does tend to come from – it's non-political in that sense. It comes from the governor rather than from, you know, the party in power. And that's a bit of a distinctive, isn't it? It's not like the current government's giving you this. No. You know, it's the nation as a whole.

I considered turning it down because I was so disappointed with Australia's performance in the fourth test against India. Yes. Fair enough. his performance in the fourth test against India. Yes. Fair enough. It's like, we fixed the bowling attack and then you come to me with your honours.

Did you ever reckon that you could ever trade it for something? It's like, well, instead of that, you could either take it in cash or you can have a medal or- Or you know how like when like people get on hard times, they sell their like awards and stuff they've won in the past like they sell your nobel prize or your brown low medal yes i could sell my my honor that's right yeah or trade it what if you could trade it for a cool experience you know what i mean like like if the president like we'll get you you get to sleep the night in the lodge or we'll get we'll let you be prime minister for a day or you know what i mean like you get to sleep the night in the lodge or we'll let you be prime minister for a day or, you know what I mean?

Get to skip the queues at SeaWorld. Man, I don't think they'd give that away. You get a fast pass for Disneyland. In America, it's like, okay, you can have the Presidential Medal of Freedom or you can fly on Air Force One. And you'd be like, oh, flying on Air Force One would be way cooler. That'd be great. Yeah, I don't know. These are tough decisions.

We'll save them for another day because now it's time for... Spilled on the Week. I see one of my daughters said to me randomly the other day, just turned to me and said, I love it when Brady sings Spoon of the Week. And I said, me too, sweetheart. It's lovely. And then we just went back to reading.

So, Tim, I hope you've got a very Australian spoon for our Australia Day episode. Well, Brady, the spoon that I've chosen for today is just like the National Anthem, a little bit recent and contested. Like Australia Day itself, even, I've chosen a spoon that is from Ayers Rock. Now, many people will know of Ayers Rock. Now, many people will know of Ayers Rock. It's a large, well, natural, obviously it's natural, it's a rock, but it's not a man-made feature or Disneyland ride. It's a... A monolith, they call it. Monolith.

A monolith. Right, okay. Right in the centre of Australia. And, I mean, it's just absolutely magnificent. The reason I've chosen this, I don't know, I don't, to my knowledge, know that mum and dad ever went to visit Ayers Rock, but they've got this, just like everything else in their spoon collection, obviously via someone else's grand travel adventures.

So just to clarify, people, because Tim sometimes misses this important point for new listeners. Yes. Tim has a spoon that has come from Ayers Rock as a souvenir. So at the top of the spoon on the enamel part on the handle, there's a picture of Ayers Rock and it says Ayers Rock NT, as in Northern Territory, which is where the Ayers Rock is. And that's what Tim's looking at and talking about at the moment.

From his father's collection of spoons this is an airs rock spoon you always talk like we're getting more listeners like new listeners i think that's a big presumption yeah basically i'm talking to katrina right now katrina and several other people at the wedding just your daughter actually no she stopped listening after she heard this little jingle. That's right. I have to say, I've chosen this. Now, very, you know, like we've changed the words to the national anthem. This is no longer known as Ayers Rock, which was named after an explorer, someone, Ayers, who, you know, apparently found it.

I think his name was Emperor Tigerstar Eyre. Emperor Tigerstar Eyre, who, you know, it's this old sort of discovered this rock that had been known by the First Peoples for 30,000 years. But it's, so I've sort of chosen it for that reason because it's a little bit of, I think it's sort of 19, it's Australiana, nostalgic, 1960s, 70s, you know, souvenir stuff with Ayers Rock written on it. Now we know it as Uluru.

Uluru is the name, the traditional name and therefore the name of the rock in Katajuka National Park. But I picked this spoon because it is very Australian to have this sort of you know souvenir-y pretty crap looking yeah piece of um of souvenir you know with with a name that we've given to it very recently on top of it and i thought that had a lot of irony that was very australian and that's why i've chosen this spoon just moving on a little bit though from from just the enamel bit up the top which has has the rock and it has a little bit of um foliage uh and then it's got a bit of blue sky and what look it's not a bad little simple photo although it does look a little bit like an elephant asleep laying down coming down the stem there's a pretty yeah you'd say British Empire influenced kind of stem.

Like it's quite ancient. Yeah, it's very sort of Celtic looking. It is Celtic looking, actually. That's very true. And then the scoopy bit is very plain. And it sort of hardens off at quite a flat edge. So it's not sort of coming to a point like often the scoopy part of a spoon would. It's flatter, which is interesting.

Yeah. You a big AS rock fan? Uluru fan? You've been many times? I've been once and I was blown away. I thought it was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. It's just incredible. It is an amazing place.

It is an amazing place to go. Yeah. One of my favourite places in Australia. It's one of those things, isn't it? It's like you see these sorts of pictures everywhere growing up it's on everything yeah and um and then you get there and you realize you've only firstly ever seen it from one side in all these photos and when you walk around it you realize how different and beautiful it is but also again it's just so much larger than I thought it would be. I was in awe of it. Did you climb it?

No, I didn't. No. Right. No. Did you climb it? I've been to Uluru three times, and all the times I've been was when you were still allowed to climb it. And I didn't out of respect because, you know, the local people didn't like people climbing it and asked that you didn't, but you were allowed to. But I never have.

And now you're not allowed to. It was interesting. I didn't out of the same point of principle, and particularly because I was on a trip to visit the indigenous lands and a school that was particularly in exposure around, you know, first people. So we definitely weren't going to climb it. Although I was there as sort of a co-leader with students and stuff, and was doing a bit of study at uni and um some of the some of the kids were allowed to and and and our guide um the sort of host said look yes yeah we don't like it because of the um uh the fact that a lot of people slip and and die hurt themselves because it's quite precarious um and that's a point of great grief to them. But the

person wasn't particularly saying no, but it is generally a given now. And now it's certainly banned to climb. It's just so beautiful, though, to walk around it, doing the trek around it. If anyone's coming to Australia, once this pandemic is over, it is well worth going to the centre of Australia to see. It's a bit like going to the Grand Canyon, although I've not been to the Grand Canyon. It's that kind of natural feature that you'd go and see. And I will make a recommendation. If you do go, if you can, drive there. And, I mean, probably the best place to drive from is Adelaide.

It will take you two days, but there's something about driving through that much flat land and then seeing this huge rock that just rises from the plain and then there's another two days of flat land after that you get this really amazing sense that this thing really is at the heart of the country and just juts out of the flatness and then there's nothing else like it's it's amazing yeah yeah that's true yeah and the soil is really red isn't it you really you think of dirt being, but you get up there and the sand is so different from, I guess, your pictures of the desert. You think of the Sahara, this sort of yellowy sort of thing.

But the sand is really, really dark red. So whenever we do Spoon of the Week, we also give away one of our Unmade Podcast souvenir spoons to a Patreon supporter. Normally we spin a giant wheel. I say in quote marks, to decide, but because it's Australia Day, I was thinking of maybe we should do something else, Tim, and what I've got here is a huge flock of hundreds and hundreds of sheep. You can probably hear them at the moment. Yes.

And I've written the name of a patreon supporter on each sheep yes and if you want to go out into the field there tim and pick one of them up and bring it back to me yep all right bar am you bar am you let's get a bit of order here all right i'll take this little jumbuck here there we we go. Got him there. What name's that? Put it in your tucker bag. I was hoping that we would get an Australian winner on Australia Day, but we have not. Our winner today is Aniron, I believe is the pronunciation. It's a well-known Welsh name that I can't pronounce.

Aniron from Cardiff. You have won an Unmade Podcast spoon. Thank you for being a Patreon supporter. Enjoy your spoon. Do you know what? I can actually see Cardiff from my window right now. Wow. But that's not what we're here to talk about. We're here to talk about ideas for podcasts. And Tim, it's your turn. Well, the idea I have, and I've got, can I just say, first of all, I'm particularly excited about my list at the moment, and I'm looking forward to future episodes. I'm itching to get them out, which I know in your experience

is always a bad sign when Tim's a bit too well prepared. But the idea I've got came to me just as we were clicking on today, just as we were starting our recording. I had this idea and it's simply called rename it rename it well the first thing i was thinking about is it and to relate it to to our country if what do you think of the name australia like if you could rename australia like think of another name for the country. And we often think about my podcast and you rename. So this is the great irony of me coming up with a podcast idea about renaming.

But if you could rename something, the other, let me throw this in just before you answer about Australia, the state that I live in that you're from, that Adelaide's in is South Australia. It's is South Australia. It's called South Australia. Yeah. And that's a pretty boring name. And so there is every now and then been ideas floated about what should we rename our state to be something like Queensland or Victoria, which, as you can hear, very British sounding names for some of the other states. Yeah.

One idea that's been floated is to rename South Australia Bradman Because of the great cricketer Sir Donald Bradman So what do you think about, if you were to rename Australia Or South Australia, what do you think about renaming it Bradman? Well, I think Australia is a pretty cool name for a country What does it mean? It means southern land, doesn't it? I think it probably does I think it means southern land Australia, let's look up what Australia means Yeah, from Terra Austral? It means southern land, doesn't it? I think it probably does. I think it means southern land. Australia.

Let's look up what Australia means. Yeah. From Terra Australis, meaning southern land. Yep. The great south land. Yeah. So I think it's a cool name. I wouldn't change the name of Australia.

South Australia. I mean, yeah. I mean, when you think about it, it's sort of, yeah, it means south part of the southern land, which is a bit silly, but it's also not, you know, the only southern part of Australia, which also makes me think it's a bit of a misnomer. But I don't know. I think when you've had a name for that long, you just stick with it. Unless there's like, unless it becomes really offensive somehow. I think naming it after a cricketer is a stupid idea.

Yes. Because that's just like a flash in the pan. Like, you know, what are you going to name it? Tony Modra or something? Like you can't name your state, you know. This is, of course, Australia was originally called New Holland, wasn't it, which you probably would have loved? Oh, yes, yes.

That's the name we should have stayed with. Your dad having a... In fact, when your dad moved over here, it was called New Holland. That's why he came. It just took a wrong turn. Oh, let it was called New Holland. That's why he came. Just took a wrong turn. Oh, let's go to New Holland. Oh, hang on. He was on that ship in 1644 with Abel Tasman.

Look, no, Australia's good. South Australia's fine. But your podcast idea is good. Things that should be renamed. Because you've talked about this in terms of your name as well, that when you were young you'd love to have renamed Brady to a cool name like Jason or something like that. Yeah.

Look, I'm going to say this. This is an idea that should have been given more thought. You should have come to the table with a whole list of names and things that could be renamed and you should have warned me in advance that I would have come up with a bunch and this would have been like a classic episode. But you've kind of just had a really good idea and gone bang. I have.

I have. And chucked it in like, you know, an hour into an episode. Well, this is, I like to put the meat deep into our episodes. They don't fade out. This was a moment you should have burned a rubbish idea like I did because we had so much stuff for today's episode. I never burn rubbish ideas for our civilians. I give the best.

No, you don't burn them. You put them on a pedestal. I bring my best every single time. But I do think it's a good idea. You know, I think we should have a, we should both have a serious think about things we'd like to rename because there are lots of things I'd like to rename. I think because everything has names, you know know there's model cars and every now and you look at a car name and you go oh that's not good would i what would i what would i have called that car yes cars yeah because there's some really poorly

named cars yes that's right i think about it in terms of our church because we're called malvin uniting church and and it's sometimes called a Renamer Church, you know, like Life Church or Family Church or Hillsong, you know, these sorts of names. Well, they like giving them really trendy names, don't they? Like Laser. Yeah. Jesus Tiger Star. I don't like that at all.

I like a good, solid, traditional plane name. You know, we'll stick with Melbourne United because it's in Melbourne. So that's, you know, bang place. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Look, I want to take a rain check on this idea, Tim, but because it's a good idea, I want more time to think about things I want to rename.

I want to create my own list and bring it to the table. Is that all right? You can. You can. Yes. Do a bit of follow-up i want you to do likewise in a very soon episode we'll have a rena let's declare a renaming episode where the whole episode is dedicated to us renaming stuff wow i'm excited because already i'm thinking

yeah okay all right all right yep i'm thinking bands i'm thinking food restaurants of certain fast food varieties that we mentioned from time to time. Yes. Let's do it. Renaming. Luckily, because I've cut you off a bit there, because I like your idea so much, that does leave us time to quickly do a suggestion from a Patreon supporter. All right.

So here's the real meat, isn't it, really? I mean, this is the good stuff. This is what people have been waiting for. This is an especially appropriate Patreon supporter because this comes from Niharika, who lives in Australia, but is originally, I believe, from India. So we have both national days represented in this Patreon supporter. Magnificent.

Fantastic. Here is what Niharika has written. Hi, Tim and Brady. My name is Niharika and currently live in Melbourne, although I've previously lived in other parts of Australia like Sydney, Canberra, and yes, Adelaide too. I consider Adelaide my hometown because that's where my family lived

when we first moved to Australia from India. And on my very first day in Australia, I got to experience a ticker tape parade as it was the day that the Mighty Crows paraded through Adelaide after their first premiership win. That's a football team. Naturally, I'm a huge fan. I'll come back to that in a minute. I work as an actuary and so I deal with lots of numbers, spreadsheets and reports on a daily basis. This leads to a lot of staring into space while I'm trying to crack a particularly difficult piece of work. Due to being locked down

at the moment, this staring has become staring out the window, which is where my idea comes from, the outside world. In this podcast, guests would come on and talk about the most interesting thing they've seen outside their window. It doesn't have to be their home window. It could be their office or some other place they've been. Sometimes it could be something crazy. Other times it could be something that is totally mundane to other people, but something that has stuck with this particular person. You could even get astronauts on to talk about the most interesting thing they've seen out of the windows on the ISS. Anyway, hope you like the idea. Loving the podcast, especially since there's been a lot more episodes recently. I listen to the Unmade podcast on my walks or

while doing chores, and it's really helped pass time during lockdown. Keep them coming. Kind regards, Niharika. P.S. Attached is a photo of what I see outside my window. It's not terribly interesting, but I do see things floating by like balloons and plastic bags and then wonder about the backstory of how they got there. Good idea. Lovely idea. Really clever idea. Great idea, Nihirika. Great idea. By the way, that ticker tape parade of the Crows when they won their first premiership, I too was at that ticker tape parade. And not only was I at it, I was covering as a journalist and I was up on the town hall balcony with the players and the trophy. And I even held the premiership trophy. Yes. I remember you showing me a photo of you quickly grabbing the cup

and getting a photo of one of the photographers. Very proud moment for you. That also reminds me of a story involving ticker tape parades in Adelaide and windows. There was another time there was a ticker tape parade. I think it may have been the Crow's second premiership. I'm not sure. But I was at work at the newspaper overlooking King William Street that the Ticket Tape Parade

was coming down and everyone from their offices was throwing confetti and bits of paper and stuff. And it was this huge big thing. And I was with a few friends and we were like, what can we throw out? We want to do like a, we want to throw something out like Ticket Tape, like, you know, to be part of it. We were getting all carried away with the moment. Yeah. So what we got was a roll of paper from a fax machine, really, really big, big roll of fax machine paper that we thought this would be great.

We'll throw it out the window and it will stream for miles. It's like, it'll be amazing because it's such a long piece of paper. Yes. And we threw it out the amazing because it's such a long piece of paper yes and we threw it out the window and it didn't unroll and it dropped like a boulder out the window straight down to where the crowd was and i promise you if it had hit a person it would have killed them and it went smash into the pavement at 100 miles an hour because we dropped it from the 10th floor or something.

Oh, my God, it was a chilling, chilling, sobering moment. If you're ever at a ticket date parade, don't throw a roll of wound-up fax paper out the window. It'll just go like a boulder. Had you taken it out of the fax machine or did you throw the whole fax machine? Yeah. Let's throw this boulder. Maybe it will turn into a piece of paper on the way down oh god it was it was such a stupid thing to do oh dear just didn't think

just just thought it would unroll like a roll of toilet paper or something yeah because people were throwing rolls of toilet paper and they were unrolling as they went yeah but this just went this just just just stayed tightly wound and must have must have weighed like you know three or four kilograms oh dear oh wow that's a bit of a variation on this is stuff you've thrown out a window you know there's the proverbial rock star tv out the window of the hotel room kind of thing i i like this idea i'm looking at the window at the moment i'm sitting here i'm sure you too. I know the view from your office. You've got a lovely view of Cardiff.

It's 10.30 at night here. So, at the moment, it's pretty black. But, yeah, I can see the lights of Wales. I've got a street walking past, a street with people walking past. And it's reasonably early in the morning here. What's it now? Nine o'clock. So, people are, you know, out for a bit of an exercise and that kind of stuff.

Many of these people I know because we're not far from the school where my kids go so like parents walking past and people with dogs and all that kind of stuff so there's often a bit of a wave it's really lovely oh i'm not surprised you can't walk anywhere in adelaide without tim knowing everyone it's ridiculous it's good i like cheering people on there people come exercising past that um, you know what I mean? And it's like you can tell it's a battle for them or they're an older person. I think, oh, this guy may have, maybe he's out exercising now because he's had some sort of heart complaint and it's the important part. He's probably a bit reluctant to be doing it.

And so every time it's like, hey, another day in. Well done, champ. You know what I mean? It was well done. Do you like waving encouraging KFC chicken drumstick at them? I often just throw a fax machine at them out the window. Congratulations. Bang.

I remember in a sociology lecture back in the 90s, them talking about the window is kind of like another screen. This is funny. This is way before phones and iPads and everything. And they were saying, look, you watch things on a screen at home, but you go travelling. But then people's nice four-wheel drives have become, or their cars have become like screens.

It's like you drive past, oh, there it is, seen it in the window. And it's not an embodied experience, getting out and walking around it. It's just like another screen, tick it off, drive on. But that's so funny now that how we do live, you know have become omnipresent now i think about it that reminds me of a story i nearly told when we were talking about ularoo a while back there was those big fires up at ularoo and the big resort that's up there like this the posh expensive resort got like burned burned down it was a big news story in australia and my mate who was based i think in adelaide at the time It was a big news story in Australia. And my mate, who was based, I think, in Adelaide at the time, he was a TV reporter, and he got sent up there to do, like,

a report on it. And, you know, and at the end, like, the real reason was just so they could have, you know, their man on the spot standing with Uluru in the background as he did his piece to camera saying, this has been me reporting for Channel 7 and this is what's happened today. Yeah. And when he got back, I said to him, you know, had you been to Uluru before?

And he was like, no, actually, I hadn't. I said, what do you think of it? What did you think of the rock itself? Obviously, the rock is, you know, was 10 miles away. It was nowhere near the fire. I said, what did you think of the rock itself? It's pretty amazing, isn't it? And he said, do you know what?

Now I think about it. I didn't look at it. Like, he went all the way there. They flew him there and he stood with his back to it so he could be filmed with it behind him for, like, you know, the sexy sunset shot of him doing his piece to camera. And he never turned around and just had a look at it and thought, yeah, it's nice.

He was in such a rush. Oh, wow. Thank you, Niharika, looking out the window. Again, I have to think more about that before I could give a good answer myself, but I think it would be a good podcast. Just a podcast of people talking about what they see out their window of their home or their work. It would also be a good website, wouldn't it, where it's just looking at photos, clicking through photos of people's views out their window. Well, it's funny you say that. Last week on on social media a friend shared of a computer program where you can a website you go and look out another person's window and just have it playing on your screen

what's out their window um yeah it's like a feature and i thought that's that's he said he found it quite in in enchanting and interesting you're very much at street level tim obviously and lots of people in the community know you do you feel like people are looking in the window at you all the time like do people walk past and deliberately look in the window and tap on there and say hello like do you feel a bit exposed or do you do you like that or i do i do like that they can see it depends on the angle you know how it's a bit strange i never presume to wave you know unless they do or something because i know you know it's when someone's in a car i never presume to wave you know unless they do or something because i know

you know it's when someone's in a car and because of the angle you feel self-conscious and they can see you but you can't quite see who it is because the glare so i'm i'm always conscious of that because they sometimes look and look and look away but um but it is a bit like that it's a bit further away like there's a car park like a park, like my car park's just there. So they're walking behind the car across the street. And there's a safe distance that it's not awkward. But lots of people do wave and say g'day and all that. Yeah, for sure.

It's nice. So I really like it. Yeah, I like it. I got rid of the curtains and blinds and stuff because I like having it all open. Well, that was an enjoyable episode. Happy Australia Day to you. And to you as well, man. I think you did a really good job of still just treating me like a normal person.

You know, you didn't get too overcome by the whole Order of Australia thing. Yeah, no, you just enjoy yourself over there in England, receiving all your Australian honours, while we're actually here living in... If you really loved Australia, you'd be living in it, man. Come on. I'm spreading the word of our greatness. Spreading the word, yes. You're spreading the word.

I tell you, if we don't get something about, like, from Adelaide specifically, about the amount of word spreading we do, more people know more about, particularly the 1980s and 90s period of Adelaide and South Australia, then there's something wrong. Speaking of spreading words, did you have any words you had to spread today? Oh, yes. Oh, yes. No, quick.

Yes. Right. Just getting back to my idea. For people who don't know, by the way, usually Tim's daughters give him two secret words he has to smuggle into the show which he always forgets until i remind him at the end all right let's talk a little bit about what we'll be eating on australia day right like is um mate uh so okay mate So. Okay, mate.

Like. What will you be eating, mate? Fairy bread. Like. My English family, my in-laws have like fancy dress quiz nights. Yes. Sometimes during lockdown over Zoom. And a few months back we had an Australian themed one where everyone had to dress Australian and do Australian stuff, pandering to me a little bit. And one of my relatives at her end made a whole bunch of Australian food.

And one of the things she looked up on the internet and made was fairy bread, which was completely new to them all and they thought was completely bizarre. Oh, really? Oh. Do you want to explain what fairy bread is for non-Australians? which was completely new to them all and they thought was completely bizarre oh really oh do you want to explain what fairy bread is for non-australians well it's a it's funny i would have assumed this sort of came through britishness a little bit it's fairies just for the record it's not like we get a fairy and stick it in a sandwich it's a cook it up. Although if you did, I imagine that's what this would taste like. That's right.

That's right. It's hundreds and thousands sprinkles on bread with butter. So it's a nice, beautiful piece of white bread, generally white bread with butter on it, margarine. It has to be. You couldn't make fairy bread with like wholemeal seeded bread. It has to be pure white bread. I think that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very sugary, bad like wholemeal seeded bread. It has to be pure white bread. I think that's right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very sugary, bad for you sort of white bread. Then you cover it, you smother it with butter and then you sprinkle hundreds and thousands. What do other people call hundreds and thousands? These little multicoloured rainbow sprinkles. Yeah. Yeah. You sprinkle these tiny coloured candy balls all over it and it sticks to the butter.

It sticks to it. So it looks like a big piece of bread that's got multi-coloured speckles all over it. And then you eat it. Remember in the film The Breakfast Club, one of the characters, she makes a sandwich and she sort of has, is it sugar? She puts sugar on her sandwich. And it's a bit like doing that. This is kind of like the same size as the little grains of sugar but they're multi-colored and they're lolly tasting and yeah yes it's a bit of a i have

to say the every now and then the fairy bread along with the um little um party pies little meat pies and sausage rolls and the little frankfurt's were the kind of thing that as a dad dropping your kids off at a kid's party and hovering around for a little while i might have a quick snaffle i'm not saying i filled up a bag or anything but i'm saying it's standing around making small talk with the other dads about what time to come back and pick up the kids you know you might go oh just have a little bit of fairy bread. Lovely. Yep.

All right. See you later. Add another one. All right. Let's go. I'm just imagining when you found out your wife was expecting, the first thing you thought was, yes, fairy bread at kids' parties. Here we go, stock up. It's been a long time since I was a kid, but now's the opportunity.

When you're a little kid, like, and there's like yummy food that's like rationed out to you by your parents, you think, when I'm a grown-up, I can just eat this every day and no one can stop me. But, of course, most people, by the time they become grown-ups, you know, have grown out of that idea. I love that we didn't. It is a bit like that for a while. Like when you were young and you're just dying to go to McDonald's or somewhere and it's like, no, it's once a year or very rarely, and you're growing up, like, I'm going to go to Macca's all the time.

And sure enough, you know, we got to 18, we got a car, we got a little bit of money, and we were at Macca's every day. Remember three times in one day we went to mackers once terrible mcdonald's this is mackers i think the day of three times the day of three times yeah yeah we i tell you that that's um yeah that wasn't healthy was it