The Unmade Podcast - 74: Untitled

Episode Date: February 20, 2021

Tim and Brady discuss KFC crisps, The Weeknd, band names, a funk Sofa Shop Cover, untitled stuff, artwork, a spoon of the week from Tamworth, country music, the question 'why', a patron idea about baddies, Pontius Pilate, and the Prodigal Son. Go to Storyblocks for stock video, pictures and audio at - https://www.storyblocks.com/unmade Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/unmadeFM Join the discussion of this episode on our subreddit - https://redd.it/lohs5k USEFUL LINKS KFC Crisps - https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/food-and-drink/kfc-walkers-crisps-fried-chicken-b1785570.html Go back to our KFC movie review - https://www.unmade.fm/episodes/episode70 The Weeknd - https://www.theweeknd.com Thanks Sam for your Sofa Shop cover - and check out many of our Sofa Shop Covers here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRNeH_Kpl1ZgpeiNeJ-oiAQ Halifax Street merch - https://teespring.com/halifax-street-unmade Untitled Stuff - Wikipedia - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Untitled That Sigur Rós Album - http://www.discogs.com/Sigur-Rós--/release/169627 Ununspetium - now called Tennessine - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvkyB99vFaI The Cure - Untitled - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3alPFZoHA4 Lucian Freud - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucian_Freud Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade on Amazon Prime - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Indiana-Jones-Last-Crusade-Harrison/dp/B00FZ3ALM4 Pictures of Spoon of the Week - https://www.unmade.fm/spoon-of-the-week Tamworth, Australia - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tamworth,_New_South_Wales Golden Guitar Awards - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Country_Music_Awards_of_Australia Slim Dusty - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slim_Dusty Tell Me Why books by Arkady Leokum - https://amzn.to/2Zxr0fF Reading, UK - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reading,_Berkshire Are We The Baddies feat David Mitchell - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hn1VxaMEjRU Pontius Pilate - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pontius_Pilate The Prodigal Son - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parable_of_the_Prodigal_Son)

Can I just say, man, it's a beautiful morning here this morning. And I know that's a cliche, but riding out here on the scooter, the sun, it's warm, I didn't even have to have a jacket on, the sun is shining over the tops of the trees, I've got fresh coffee. It's a morning for the ages, I have to say. Magnificent. It's bloody cold and miserable here.

I have to say, magnificent. It's bloody cold and miserable here. Tim, it's well known by now that you don't mind the odd piece of KFC. The odd piece, that's right. Yeah, the odd piece, as in an odd number, in the way that 177 is an odd number. Indeed, that's right. And obviously we reviewed the KFC movie not that long ago.

And it seems KFC are getting a little bit obsessed with all these brand deals and integrations because we're forever getting emails and tweets and messages from the civilians about KFC game consoles and KFC fire logs and all this KFC stuff. Yeah. I think people feel obliged to let us know. So, anyway, this morning when I woke up, one of my online website things served up to me an advertisement for new KFC Walker's crisps, potato crisps. Oh, okay. Yes. Now, Walker's is a big brand here in the UK.

I'd never seen or heard of this before, but I happened to be at a garage today getting some petrol and I'd already paid for my stuff and i left and as i left a pack of these crisps caught my eye the colonel was peering at me in a petrol station where i would never expect to see him so i actually took the bag and went back to the counter rather sheepishly and said i want these two there's nothing more shameful than going back to the counter to buy more food. Particularly when it's, yeah, yeah, it's junk food. They just obviously been lured and caught. Yes. Yes. So, I've had these on my desk all day. I have not opened them. I've not tasted them because I thought it might be fun for my first ever experience

with KFC potato crisps to be here on the Unmade Podcast. A live unbagging. Wow, okay. This is interesting. Can I say, my overall impression of this, I'm very sceptical about the Colonel's name being dealt out willy-nilly to all these different products, but I'm interested to hear how the taste translates to a chip,

or a crisp, as you call them. I'm not hopeful, actually. I'm quite pessimistic. In my head, they're going to be very salty and not nice but i have no idea so on the bag how do they describe it do they say kfc flavored or do they say do they mention the herbs and spices or let's have a look i'll tell you i've got the bag here it says walker's max kentucky fried chicken flavor potato crisps and then on the back here it says walker's max kentucky fried chicken flavor potato crisps and then on the back here it says walker's max the irresistible deep ridged crisp bursting with delicious kfc flavor for the ultimate taste explosion in every bite kfc flavor max satisfaction max satisfaction we don't need

that sort of language on a kfc product but there's also a great big token on here because if for buying this pack if i cut out the token on the back and present this pack at my kfc restaurant i get two for one meal oh hello well that's great it's worth buying the chips just for that you'd walk in with the full bag and redeem that and not even opened. Just hand it over at the counter. Because it's up to £4.25 worth on that meal, and this bag didn't cost £4.25, so that's a loophole. All right, here we go, man.

I'm about to open it. Are you ready? Yeah. Here's the opening, and it's right near my nose too, so I'll get that first waft of uh smell the first smell just smells like generic potato crisps right i'm taking one out did you go with a leg or a wing or what did you grab first, Mick? It's exactly as I feared.

It just tastes like generic chicken crisps. Right. It tastes like chicken ruffles. Remember chicken ruffles? Remember ruffles? Not ruffles, no. Are they a type of crisp? Were they?

Yeah, they were a type of crisp that were big in Australia. It's that kind of ridge cut that ruffles had. It just tastes like chicken crisps. I'll have one more just in case. Not very KFC at all. Australia. It's that kind of ridge cut that Ruffles had. It just tastes like chicken crisps. I'll have one more just in case. Not very KFC at all. So it doesn't taste like the crunchy bit on the skin of KFC, which is... No. Oh man, if it tasted like that, I'd be going ballistic right now. Absolutely. They should just sell those. No, that just tastes like chicken crisps. That's rubbish. Yeah, right. Okay. Just as I feared.

Well, see, this is the problem, you see. They've probably lent out the name contractually, but they're not going to lend out the secret recipe, are they? I mean, you can't hand that over to some crisp firm. No, no, disappointing all round. Disappointing all round. Will you finish the bag of crisps, though? I mean, you do like chicken favourites.

Oh, well, probably. Well, it'd be rude not to now. There's an open packet of crisps on my desk. What's going to happen? Join the dots, man. Quick parish notices. I want to follow something up from the last episode. We talked about The Weeknd doing the Super Bowl halftime show.

Oh, The Wicknd. The Wicknd. Yeah Super Bowl halftime show. Oh, The Wickend. The Wickend. Yeah, with Sans E. I thought of so many great jokes I could have made about that missing E after the episode, by the way. I was like, oh, I could have said this. Oh, I could have said that. Patrons have exclusive access to your post-show thoughts.

Jokes I could have said. So it turns out The Weeknd Is not a band It's an individual Which I think is ridiculous How does that work? It's just a person

That's not a name for a solo artist And everyone was belittling us Saying you guys don't know anything Obviously The Weeknd is like an individual. May I point out the following are all bands. The Sundays, the Happy Mondays, the Tuesdays, the Saturdays, the Wednesdays. If you call yourself The Weeknd, you're a band. Obviously, that's what you do.

The rest of the band goes home on Friday night and you're just on your own on The Weeknd. that's what you do the rest of the band goes home on friday night and you're just on your own on the weekends not only that but the weekend had to call himself the weekend because there was already a band in canada called the weekend so he dropped the e so he wouldn't get in trademark trouble so that's another sign that it should be a band name goodness gracious me that's that's a strange way to go isn't it Like how lazy Sit around and think about another name You just go well let's drop a key important vowel Also if you're going to be a solo artist

Come up with a name that doesn't sound Like you wouldn't be a solo artist and call yourself Like you know the good old boys Or you know I don't mind people changing their name If they're a solo artist Like to something that is obviously an individual, like Prince But The Weeknd

The Weeknd, that's strange If other bands had followed that logic Then Paul McCartney and John Lennon would have been in the battles That would have been You're still obsessed with this dropping the E, aren't you? Imagine if E was just banned from the names of bands. You too would be all right. Yeah, they're safe.

That's the genius of you too. They're immune from any E trademark issues. That's right. Pal Jam. That would be... The Batch Boys. The Batch Boys. The Batch Boys. Or the Bark Boys, if you want to be all posh. The Bark Boys.

I wonder if it's a bit pretentious to sort of go, okay, I'm not, I'm such a musical renaissance man that i i'm actually a whole band in myself you know what i mean like it's there is a bit of a cliche in rock that that one person from the band goes off and makes like a solo record where they do everything themselves like dave grohl from nirvana did this um he went off and formed the foo fighters and the first album he played drums and bass and everything and sang himself. But then he put together a band called the Foo Fighters who have been together for 20 years. You can't just say I am.

Because he realised it was silly. All right. Anyway. Anyway, speaking of music, shall we do a quick sofa shop cover sent in by a civilian? Absolutely. I look forward to these. The sofa shop, the advertising jingle from adelaide from the 80s that we know and love people are sending in covers today sam from dorset says

i'm a long-time listener first time caller big fan of the podcast i haven't heard many funky sofa shop covers so i thought i'd have a crack and now it is. It's a bit of a long intro, this one, but here is Sam from Dorset with a funk version of The Sofa Shop is your only stop for the sofa The Sofa Shop come and drop in from the high-flying screen

We have a sofa designed for you to share Melt your curtains too The sofa's sharp, ain't gonna cost what you think Oh, that's impressive. Very impressive skills, I have to say. Yeah, it really comes in lovely. Long intro, like really builds up to it, but then, you know. Pays off.

Well, yeah, not if you're buying by the second or buying by the minute with your advertising but yeah but it's um skillfully made and can i just make one observation as well it's obvious that sam sam it is isn't it yes he's a purist because he's included the halifax Street line. Yes, yes. This is the new wave of Sofa Shop covers that have been made since we revealed the Halifax Street line. Previously undocumented Halifax Street line. And that's caused, you know, that leaves the artist with a difficult decision. Do I include Halifax Street do I go without both are valid but it would be interesting for the artist to let us know why they did or didn't um include the line I like that he did I noticed

that and I thought I think it works well now I'm very used to that there you go thanks for that Sam well done oh by the way we haveopCovers YouTube channel. I'm constantly uploading new covers to it. I think there's about 30-odd on there now, and there's many more to come. Please go and subscribe to the channel. I'll put the link in the notes because YouTube doesn't take you seriously as a YouTube channel until you have 1,000 subscribers, which we don't have, or 4,000 watch hours, which we definitely don't have. So we need you to get on there and subscribe and do some serious hardcore listening and watching so we can get up there, get our numbers up. Doesn't have 4,000 views. That surprises me, to be honest.

I know it has 4,000. I think we have 4,000 views. We don't have 4,000 watch hours. That's hours of watching time. Oh, right. Okay. Maybe if Sam's intro was longer, that would cover more hours. Yes, Sam is going to help on that front. Thank you, Sam. We'll get yours on the channel quickly.

In fact, can you send us a longer version? The extended intro, Nick. Yeah. What I need to do, we need a 4,000 hour long cover That we can just put on there and everyone can just listen to They can like go to work and have it whirring in the background and stuff Get Brian Eno to make a lovely ambient mix that just goes on for four hours I like that, I like that a lot

Ideas for a podcast, who's going first today? Look, I... Why don't you go first, man? What have you got? Okay. My idea for a podcast is called Untitled. And this is a podcast where you talk, discuss, review, chew the fat about pieces of art and films and culture and all sorts of different things but

the one thing they all have to have in common is that they are untitled or they have the name untitled oh hey that's a good idea yeah yeah there is a lot of this in fact there's a whole wikipedia page dedicated to things called untitled oh are 35 pieces of art just that they reference called Untitled. That's not just stuff that is Untitled. That's called Untitled. Yes. There are four films. There are three TV episodes, including, I noted, an episode of Law and Order that's called Untitled.

Oh, right. 20-odd albums. More songs than you can shake a stick at. Yep. There's an album by Sigur Rós, which has a weird title in itself, which is like a couple of brackets or parentheses, and every song on that album is untitled. Yes, yes.

That's very Sigur Rós. Yeah. Although, funnily enough, it says on the Wikipedia page that the band has an alternative name for each song so they know what one to play. So they're all untitled, but the band still has titles for them. They're all called Untitled, brackets, the name of the song. That's great.

Yeah. There are a surprising number of businesses that are untitled, I've learned, like the Untitled Bar in London and stuff like that. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. And the thing that appeals to me, obviously being the nerd that I am, is there are lots of things in space that don't have proper titles yet. A lot of, you know, galaxies and stars and things

that just have numbers or no names at all, so you could talk about them. There are all sorts of things you could talk about on my untitled podcast. That's a really great idea. That's a great idea. I'm not just a pretty face. No.

That's a really great idea. That's a great idea. I'm not just a pretty face. No. No. And interesting, like there could be a subsection, I think, of your podcast of things that are provisionally titled. Like maybe the Sigur Rós songs come under this category, but when you talk about objects in space that haven't been titled,

they must have been, like, we must know they're there, so they must be classified or given some sort of classification or technical name like, you know, R6484, before it's given its proper name later on by some body. Is that right? There must be, yeah. Yes, yes, that kind of works. That actually happened on the periodic table too too there were elements that were sort of predicted but hadn't been yet synthesized

in labs and they were given names based on their numbers so for example element 117 117 which means it has 117 protons in its nucleus yeah before it was synthesized in a lab because that that element can only be made artificially it was given the name un un septium right un for one un for one septium for seven so we had un un septium and un un octium you know un un quadium all these elements before they were synthesized but then once they were finally made they went through the process of giving them formal names, which they now have. So, that's another example of these placeholder names. There's also in the provisionally titled, there's the, you know, people that are expecting a baby.

They don't know if it's a boy or a girl. So, they kind of got names in mind. But they often come up with like a cute little name in the meantime. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Like the bump or the bun or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like The Bump or The Bun or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That sort of stuff.

Provisionally named. Yeah, that's a good idea too. Like, yeah, placeholder names is getting away from untitled a bit, but I do like that idea as well, placeholder names. I thought you were going to hit me with all the untitled albums that you're familiar with, but are you resisting that urge? The one that came immediately to mind to mind is the final song on on probably the best album by the cure is just called untitled

all right and i remember when i first saw that oh that must be 30 years ago thinking oh that's cool it's like it's called untitled that was a quirk that i've not seen before but it is around a bit now yeah it's a bit of a it's a bit of a and also it's the same with like when you're giving yourself usernames like calling yourself username on twitter and things like that like the first person who ever thought to do that was clever and then every single person that's done that since is a bit like yeah okay mate get a number and get in line yeah yeah if i if i was if i was a musician, and again, that's a whole subcategory in itself. Is Tim a musician?

I would be called the untitled, like without the Z. Yeah, you drop it. You've got to drop the E, yeah. The untitled. The untitled. That's right. Metallica have – this is probably another sub-genre of this, which is self-titled.

So they have an album, the Black Album it's called, is self-titled, which is not quite untitled, is it? But some bands just bring out an album that's got no title except it's their name. I guess all humans are technically self-titled, aren't they? That's right. Hi, I'm Brady, self-titled. Well, I guess I was mum-titled in some ways.

That's right. I once heard a very funny line from a friend of mine. He was getting up to give a speech at a birthday and he introduced himself. He says, hi, my name's Duncan. Actually, I don't know if that really is my name or just something my parents called me. Very good. I thought it was a great line. Imagine that.

Imagine if we all do technically have names like the universe has given us. And like, imagine this, man. Imagine we all have names and our parents give us names. And if the name your parents give you matches your actual name given to you by the universe, those are the people who go on to become great. Like Don Bradman. Yeah, wow. Not because of their skill or abilities or gifts or opportunity. No, it's just this matching.

It's just this special alignment. The universe rewards you. It's like the end of The Price is Right. When you guess the exact price, you win the showcase. Your parents give you the right name. Correct, it's Brady. Exactly. Oh, I love it, yeah.

Maybe that's why you got the Order of Australia. The government looked into it and went, oh, wow, we've checked our files and your name really is Brady. Congratulations, you're getting the Order of Australia. This happens only about a dozen times a year and you've hit the jackpot, my boy. Maybe they have this information. It's time they share it with us, if they do.

Are you disappointed that your true name actually is Brady? Hey, look, at least I have no E's in my name. That's right. Heidi Hein collapses as a word name, doesn't it? You haven't got any in your first name, but you've got E's in both your next two names, so, you know. That's true. That's true. You'd be Timothy Hinn. Hinn? Yeah, well, that's good. I'll tell you what hasn't got any ease in it, man, and that is Storyblocks. Look at that segue.

Look at that segue. That was brilliant. Beautiful. Lovely. Just when you think I've run out of tenuous segues. Storyblocks is no doubt both universe name and real name. Why? Because it's great.

You said it. It's become great. So for those of you who don't know what Storyblocks is, what are you even doing listening to this podcast? Storyblocks is – keep listening, by the way. It doesn't matter that you didn't know. Yes, yeah. Like it's okay.

If it's your first time, you're very welcome. Yes, yeah, we're not, like it's okay. If it's your first time, you're very welcome. Storyblocks is an online library of stock video footage, pictures, audio, and you just pay a monthly fee and then you can use all of it royalty free in your videos and your podcasts and your creations and all the different things you might want to make. It's a fantastic resource. I'm really grateful for it. I use it all the time in my various creative endeavours.

I hope, Tim, you've started looking into it as well. I wish I had various creative endeavours. That just sounds exciting. Like you've got, are you painting now? Have you got like an art studio where you're like painting and stuff? Well, I'm not painting, but if I was, what I would do is I would call up Storyblocks material and i would use that as my muse yes because that's how good it is what shall i search for on storyblocks today to have a look for search for painting

and see what comes up painting so the first thing i found is this lovely close-up of someone with all the uh what's that board called that you mix your paint on? A palette. A palette, that's it. They've got their palette and they're mixing some blue and white paint together. It's a beautiful close-up, nicely filmed with a very shallow depth of field. Just the sort of thing you might want to use in a video you were doing about the creative arts. Fantastic.

Anyway, if you were doing anything creative, you should have a Storyblocks subscription. Go to storyblocks.com slash unmade. If you do storyblocks.com slash unmade, they'll know you came from here and, like, that's good for us. Good stuff. You want to help us too, don't you? That's right.

In our painting. Brady needs to buy more paint. Are you very talented at painting and drawing? I'm terrible. No, no, I'm terrible. I quite enjoy it and I like to think, you know, I could paint. Like last time, I once spent the day painting with my daughters, you know what i mean and it was kind of fun to do but it's very convention conventionally awful painting you

know like maybe i'm too like it looked too much like i was trying to draw another kind of painting whereas the thing i was i was surprised by the daughters is how creative it was particularly like and they learn all sorts of marvelousvellous stuff, expressionist stuff, and they were doing splattering paint everywhere. Yeah. It looked marvellous, yeah. My wife is an excellent painter. Did you know that? No, I didn't.

She should be professional, in my opinion. Wow. Yeah, but, you know. Does she paint objects to make them look realistic or is she more abstract or? I wouldn't say, like, realism, but she can do all sorts of genres. She's a really good mimic like she's really good at seeing a painting and then copying her like give her some paint and a brush and she'll do like an amazing copy of her she really likes the paintings of lucian freud and she's really good at doing um like paintings like him yeah they're usually of nude people

but like she'd be really good to be one of those like counterfeit artists you know those people who can like do like rip off picasso's and then sell them and yeah yeah those crim those mastermind criminals she'd be really good as one of those yes you're a good pair actually she provides the goods and you've got the uh so when you refer to your various creative endeavors for selling forgeries is selling forgery comes under that category yeah i don't know what i really add to it i mean she does them i mean i know how ebay works that's about it i wouldn't i wouldn't go for ebay myself if you're selling it because it feels like a great talent i would love to be able to do it it's a bit like um playing the piano extremely well or painting you know what you just think oh gosh um painting's one of those things where you presume you've either got it or you don't.

But, of course, artists learn and train and practice as well, don't they? Yeah. But, you know, you and I are brilliant podcasters. That's our talent. Oh, well, that's right. Which is much more impressive than painting or playing the piano. No, painting. That's right.

People have been painting for years. Podcasting is new. Edgy. That's it. Edgy. What's edgy? We paint pictures with our voices. So, speaking of painting pictures in people's minds, it's time for Tim to pull a spoon from the Hein Family Archive and tell us all about it in that fantastic segment that we know and love.

That's right. It's time for... Spilled on the Week. Hang on a minute. I'm just unlocking the safe. Just going down into the vault. That's right. 100 feet underground.

Just doing fingerprint. Here we go. vault. That's right. 100 feet underground. Just doing fingerprint. Here we go. Yeah. There we go. Now just scanning the retina of my eye. Retina identification confirmed. Welcome, Tim. Help yourself to a spoon.

Morning, Geoffrey. Geoffrey's our security guard. He's just here going down. All right. I'll take this one today I think Now just putting the spoon onto that red velvet pillow I should describe Geoffrey Geoffrey looks a bit like

You know at the end of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade When he finally gets to the Holy Grail And there's that knight Yeah that's Geoffrey He's been guarding the spoon For thousands of years. Do you then have to choose a spoon, and if you choose the wrong one, you die? Yes, I die on the podcast most weeks.

Tim chose poorly. Poorly. I'm getting the nod from Geoffrey. I think I've chosen wisely this week. I'm just walking out now. Tim, you can't take the spoon past the seal. Oh my god. That was close.

If you have never seen Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, we apologise for the last two minutes of podcasting. And stop listening to this now and go and watch it. I think it's the best. I know you love Raiders of the Lost Ark, but I love Last Crusade. It's been so long since we introduced Spoon of the Week. I think I'm going to have to do the jingle again.

You ready? Yep, go for it again. Now I've got it in my hand and I'm here. Ready? All right, here it is. It's time for... Spoon of the Week. For Spoon of the Week.

Brady, I have to say, it's a very exciting spoon today. And it's probably appropriate I'm keeping it down here in the vault recording because this is solid gold. And, yep, may not actually be solid gold. Anyway. It's solid gold coloured. That's right. The spoon I'm holding is from the Tamworth Country Music Festival. It's a solid gold looking guitar in the same way that Goldfinger had solid gold stuff in his house. or as Donald Trump has, as I've mentioned before, in Trump Tower.

It's a guitar. It's literally a little model guitar sitting on top of a nice sort of head, I guess, that says Tamworth Country Music. A plinth, I would call that. I call that the plinth, but I don't think that's a technical name for it, the place where the words normally are on the top of the spoon there. Nice. Yes, yes, yes.

And then there's a nice sort of closely engraved stem, dignified, down to a very plain scoopy bit. And on the back, though, you follow up, there's as much action on the back almost as on the front because you go up the back. And there is on the back of what you call the plinth an outline of Australia. And then there's just some lovely decoration all the way around. It kind of looks like, you know, when you have like a bear and a bear that's a statue and they sort of make engravings to make it look like fur. It looks a little bit like that on the back. Right. Well, you've certainly painted a picture in my mind there.

There we go. It's like a bear's fur. That's what I do. And look, for those that are not aware, Tamworth is a country in – sorry, Tamworth is a town in – it's northern New South Wales, I think, isn't it? Above Sydney, if you like, a couple of hours drive. Right. And they have a country music festival every year. And it's a place where lots of country musicians – In Australia, we don't call it country and western.

That's a very American genre, but we do talk about country music. Yeah. And all the country music people go there and they give out the Golden Guitar Awards, which is for the sort of best album and all that kind of stuff. Is that what you've got, a golden guitar? Well, I do technically have a golden guitar, but this is not a golden guitar award. That's like a Grammy or an Oscar or something like that, although slightly more prestigious. Country Music Awards.

Yeah, that's right. It's very similar to the Country Music Awards. Yes. And look, I was wondering why have we got this, right? To my knowledge, never in our little holidaying did we go up as high as Tamworth. So I was wondering why mum and dad had this. And so I actually asked mum about it last night, and she told me that some good friends of ours, Dutch friends,

actually went up there and offered to get us a spoon while they were up there. And mum and dad said, oh, yes, please. And so they brought this back for them as a gift. A, I'm impressed that you called your mum and did some research. You hardly ever do that for Spoon of the Week. B, I'm disappointed it didn't result in your mum revealing like she had a brief dalliance with Slim Dusty before she met your dad. She went for the only person older than Slim Dusty that she could find,

which is my dad. For people who don't know who Slim Dusty is, he's a country music singer just a little bit younger than Tim's dad. That's right. And instead of forgoing, you know, the most, you know, Australiana of Australian figures, she thought, well, blow that. I'm going for a Dutch immigrant. That's it.

I imagine my dad singing country music. It's not going to happen. No. He's more of a kind of, you know, piano accordion type guy in my mind. Yeah, yeah. More of the polka kind of. Yeah. Nice.

Nice. It's a nice spoon. So there we go. It's a nice spoon. I would imagine it would be one that you would like too. You know Nice. It's a nice spoon. So there we go. It's a nice spoon, you know. I would imagine it would be one that you would like too, you know. It's got a guitar and we know that you love the guitar. We know you don't mind a bit of country music from time to time. Yeah.

Sort of. Yeah. Nice spoon. Nice spoon. I drove through Tamworth. We drove through about 18 months ago and it's a beautiful town. I mean, northern New South Wales, it's a lovely region of Australia up there. It's really, really lovely.

But I think it's one of those towns that's very, very pretty sleepy. You know, it's not bad, not terribly small, but really comes alive for this festival. Good spoon. Pictures are available on the website as always. Have a look for a link in the notes. And now it's time for us to randomly choose one of our patreon supporters to win one of our spoons one of our custom made unmade podcast

souvenir spoons how are we going to do how are we going to choose at this time do you want to spin the wheel tim or you've got something else in mind a strum of the guitar, perhaps. What I have... Yes, let's do it with a strum of the guitar and see what name the note hits on. All right, you give it a strum and when the music stops, that's who wins. Here I am strumming. So, well, look whose lucky day it is. Sean from Zurich. Sean from Zurich.

Sean from Zurich, you have won. The home of country music. In Switzerland. Yes. They do. I imagine it will be more sort of yodelling for Sean, but I don't know. Maybe he likes his country music. I hope he likes spoons because he's got one coming in the post.

Fantastic. Congratulations, Sean. All right. Now, Tim, it's the moment we've been waiting for. Have you got an idea for a podcast? I do. I do. This, my idea, it's interesting, yours was untitled.

Mine has a one-word name. And the word is why. My podcast is called Why. Why. Now, when children are young, this is a very common conversation starter or conversation continuer. Yes. You've got a particularly philosophical kid if they begin with why.

But a lot of explanations lead into why. Why? And that, you know, is something that you go with quite easily for a few whys. Then you start, it gets a little bit tiresome because you start running out of the logical explanations. But if you keep going with it, it's a lot of fun and you move into all sorts of abstract territory. You start drilling down into the sort of the axioms of our very existence. That's right. Meaning at the heart of the universe and all that.

I thought a podcast conversation, essentially that was a why conversation where a person is brought on the premise of their life and something, event or moment begins the conversation of their life. And maybe it starts with, you know, what do you believe in or what's your core statement or motto for life or something like that. Or maybe it can be a bit more concrete. What's the defining event of your life or something? But the conversation goes. And somewhere in the conversation, the host says, why? And essentially,

they just take it from there. And why takes you into broader and ever-reaching horizons of conversation. Do you know what I like about this? It would be the easiest podcast in the world to host as well, because all you've got to do is just saying why. That's right. Yes. It could literally be hosted by a computer program or software or something that's just every five minutes, why? Oh, well, that's interesting. You ask that because, and just away you go again.

Brief little sidetrack. When I was growing up, I had these volumes of books. I think I had three or four volumes of it called Tell Me Why. They were my favourite books, the Tell Me Why books. It would just be like a page or two telling you why something is. I loved those books. Oh, yeah. I was addicted to them.

Like explaining, you know, like why trains run on tracks or why the sun rises or something like that. Yeah, exactly, exactly. But it would just be a little scientific explanation as to why something happens. But they were great books, Tell Me Why. Yeah, exactly, exactly. But it would just be a little scientific explanation as to why something happens. But they were great books. Tell me why. Oh, yeah.

I'm going to look them up on eBay and buy them again just because. Why? Because I want to have it on my shelf. Why? Because then I'll look at it every day when I come into my office. Why? Because when I sit at my desk, there's a shelf just to my left hand side and that's where the book would be why because when i was putting my desk in my office i wanted to be

able to see out the window towards the ocean and that meant the only place i could put the book shelf was on the left why i can't be bothered anymore shut up and eat your dinner. You're not having any dessert. If you stop saying why, you can use your iPad for 20 minutes. You can exit dessert. That's right. If the conversation starts that way, like, can I have an ice cream? No.

Why? Because you'll ruin your dinner. Why? Because your body can only handle so much. Why? Oh, look, you can just have an ice cream. When kids do that, to what extent do you think they're doing it out of curiosity? And to what extent do you think they know it annoys you? Yeah.

Well, yeah. They start doing it ironically or deliberately in order to just push things. Yeah. Yeah. start doing it ironically or deliberately in order to just push things yeah um yeah i look it may not be as um their intentions may not be as nefarious as that but they may they may be um just wanting you to keep talking i think that's one thing the kids just love to have conversation and and you know that's their way of saying keep talking say, say more. Please, love me. Keep interacting with me. Yeah, yeah.

That's right. Yeah, the way my dog Brooklyn rolls on his back and just, you know, wiggles his toes expecting you to scratch his belly. Yeah, that's the kid equivalent. Do you ever do it to them and ask them why to everything they say? No, I haven't done it. But you do, somewhere it does switch in the parenting and you do all the inquiring. So, you know, what happened at school today and what was that? And you know what I mean?

There can be some reluctance. You know, why? Why? Why? And, you know, you actually, you know, yeah, the roles change, the seats change. And they're like, look, I'm just going to go now. Okay. And you're like, well, hang on.

You know, let's talk this through a little bit more you know of the classic one word questions like who what when where and how which do you think is the most powerful and important like if you could only you if you could only use one of them for the rest of your life which one would you use that's very good it's got to be either how or why. Why goes to your motives and all that? When isn't particularly interesting, is it? No. I guess without what, you've got nothing to talk about. Yeah.

You've got to start with what. Yeah. I don't know. It's a really good question. I can't believe I've never thought of it before. That's even better than, you know, if you could only have one of your five senses, which one would you have? That's a nice little twist on that question, isn't it?

It is, yeah. I think... Who? Who's probably the... Who and when are probably the least important? Don't get me wrong. Sometimes they are important. Like, if I was to say to you, someone is about to get shot, like, who and when are both pretty important.

That's right. But generally... If you're a historian, they're basically the only two you've got. Yeah, exactly. So, I'm not saying they're unimportant. I'm just saying they're probably the least important. So, how, what and why? It's between those three.

I think how is philosophically important But I could probably do without it I think it's more pragmatic Like how did that happen? It's more factual How the engine works No, what is surely the most factual question The most factual, sure

I think maybe what is very important Not like deeply and like Not pose are important I think maybe what is very important. Not like deeply and like not pose are important. Like, oh, how is so important and like why is so important. That's what you're supposed to say. But what I think is, you know, like what was the score in the football tonight is what you really want to know. That suits your journalist getting the facts. Can I ask, as a journalist, when you were getting a story, did you mentally use that as a checklist?

OK, I need the who, what, where, how, why and when. Is that sort of a shorthand for journalists? No. I mean, I think it's just kind of built in a way. I never really used it as an actual checklist, but they are important things. Yeah, but no no it's never that kind of simple it's mostly about the what though this happened um interesting interesting anyway

why podcast idea next week tim's idea is going to be how how i know what tim's ideas are going to be for the next four weeks now. I've tapped a rich vein here. How is a good, maybe even a better one, because you get the opportunity to explain things, like your books. I mean, perhaps that happens already as a podcast genre, but someone, an expert coming on, you say, how did this happen or how did this come to be? And there's a lot of explanation that goes on.

Yeah, but obviously the reason your why idea is good and the reason you chose it is because of that, you know, that trope of kids just going, why? Why? Why? To every scene. But yeah. But it also opens up the conversation. It goes to their motives. It's because I was thinking this and all that.

And so you learn more about the person. Let's do an idea from a Patreon supporter. Yeah, we haven't done one for a while. Yeah. All right. So today's idea comes from Tom, who lives in Reading in the United Kingdom. Cool.

Good music festival. Yes, yes, it is. I've not been to it, but it's more, you know, it's more for the younger ones, I think, Reading. I'm more a Glastonbury guy these days. Is that the case? Is Glastonbury, it's got more, it's more of an event for other people?

Glastonbury's all ages. You know, you're just as likely to find some 70-year-old as Glastonbury as a 15-year-old. It's like all ages because it's so massive and there's something for everyone. Oh, okay. I think Reading's younger. I could be wrong about that. Maybe I'm getting it mixed everyone. Oh, okay. I think Reading's younger. I could be wrong about that.

Maybe I'm getting it mixed up. Oh, look, I've never been. I've just known of it because famous Nirvana gig was played there and there's recordings and the Reading Music Festival. Tim's knowledge of geography is very centred around where music festivals are played. When you drive around the UK with Tim and he sees a sign, he'll tell you what band played there and when.

Indeed, that's right. I'm always like, I can't believe you've heard of that place, Tim. And you'll be like, oh yeah, so-and-so played a gig there in 1983 that there's a famous documentary about. We must go to Manchester together sometime. That will take the cake, that's for sure. Oh yeah, that will be incredibly boring for me. We must go to Manchester together sometime. That will take the cake, that's for sure. Oh, yeah, that will be incredibly boring for me.

We must do that. All right. Anyway, let's get on to Tom from Reading. Oh, yes, Tom. At the time he wrote this, which I think was at the end of last year, he says, for the time being, I'm a PhD student. However, I recently passed my viva, so I'll be finally leaving education. My PhD was looking at platelets, the cells responsible for blood clotting,

and megakaryokites. Sorry for the pronunciation there. They are the cells that produce platelets and how they act when specific bacterial cell wall components are introduced to them. There you go. Good stuff. Well done, Tom.

It's all right, Tim. Don't worry. This email is about to take a turn in your direction because he says, the favourite part of my PhD was going to a conference in Melbourne last year and I was able to watch a live game of Aussie rules football at the Marvel Stadium. Nice. Of course, my team, the Western Bulldogs, won that game, but as a Brit with no idea of the rules,

I could have been watching a game of tommy ball for all i knew uh tom says i often listen to the podcast whilst doing experiments in the lab and struggling to keep myself from bursting out laughing in the lab and getting weird looks from everyone around this often happens when tim tries to play the guitar you know the song and in case you don't, here it is. Anyway, where were we? Anyway, my idea for a podcast is called Were They a Baddie? In this idea, your two hosts would argue over whether a historical figure was a baddie or not. For example, Julius Caesar.

He was a brilliant general who expanded the Roman Republic and fought politically to help some of the poorest members of society. However, he was also a genocidal slave owner who overthrew the Republic and installed himself as dictator. Or Oliver Cromwell. He led the parliamentary forces in the English Civil War against the tyrannical king, which helped reform society and preserve liberty. However, he also assumed total power as Lord Protector and banned Christmas. I think you'd have to stick to historical figures from before the modern era, as discussions about Margaret Thatcher and her contemporaries could get too political very quickly. Thank you for continuing to make this podcast.

I hope the ideas don't run out any time soon I mean, I'm sorry he wrote that before our ideas did run out But anyway That comes from Tom in Reading Thank you Tom, cracker of an idea I'm sure you'll agree Tim Totally, great idea, great idea And very, I mean, I feel like the whole western world

Is playing out this idea all the time. History is so contested these days, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Statues being pulled down and people looking back, revising their view on great figures. People are changing all the time. One of my favourite memes and videos to watch is David Mitchell in one of his comedy sketches to watch is David Mitchell in one of his comedy sketches where he's like dressed kind of like a generic Nazi with like skull and crossbones insignia and stuff.

And he's in the trenches and they're fighting, you know, the sort of World War II. And he turns to one of his other kind of Nazi types and just suddenly says, you know, hang on a second. Are we the baddies? Like he suddenly has this realization like he says you know we've got all these bad symbols and we're doing all this bad stuff like do you do you think maybe we're the baddies and the other guy's saying no no and he's like i think we are the baddies

you must watch it you must watch it he is he is seriously funny. You must watch it. It's very fun. He is seriously funny, David Mitchell. He's a very funny guy. He's great. Oh, marvellous. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. That's good.

So anyway. I can picture a scene like that in Star Wars at some stage. Where are we? We've got the dark side of the Force. Hang on a second. Yeah. Like the stormtroopers just turn to each other and think, are we the bad guys in this?

Like, who's bad? I always think that in Star Wars. Like, the people on the dark side, they call it the dark side? Like, are they reveling in the badness or do they think dark is better than light? Like, do they come from a culture where night time is better than daytime and stuff? And like being dark is good. Like, oh, stop being light.

Come here to the dark where it's nice and dark. Yeah, that's right. Yes, they're nocturnal. Maybe they're just all nocturnal. Yeah. The interesting thing is like, well, but it's a movie. We're not going to win out in the end. I mean, you know, maybe a trilogy and then we'll get a bit of a good run.

But no, in the end. I mean, you know, maybe a trilogy and then we'll get a bit of a good run. But no, in the end, yes. Is Pontius Pilate a baddie? He's kind of a goodie, isn't he? He's kind of like Darth Vader who becomes good right at the end when it's a bit too late. No, he's a weakling. That's what he is. He lacks courage to stand up to the crowd. Oh, I always thought Pontius Pilate was a bit of a hero because he saw that Jesus was good. Yeah, but he didn't have the courage to stand up to the crowd. Oh, I always thought Pontius Pilate was a bit of a hero because he saw that Jesus was good. Yeah, but he didn't have the courage of his convictions to say, and you're going to let him go. And because the crowd were roaring, crucify him.

So he was like, I wash my hands. So this is he washes his hands. So I wash my hands of it, which is the ultimate. I'm not going to take leadership here. I'm going to abdicate my responsibility. What does Pontius mean? Pontius Pilate pilot i can't i don't know i don't know either i think it's his name ponchi pontius oh no it must be his

imagine that calling your kid pontius pont that sounds very english posh oh pontius come in it's time for dinner pilot is like a title isn't? That's like his job He was the fifth governor of the Roman province of Tiberius His real name was Peter Peter Pilate He preferred to be called The Weekend Oh no, surely that's his title No, Pilate must be Is Pilate his name?

His first name is unknown Pilatus, or Pilate, might mean His first name is unknown. Pilatus, or Pilate, might mean skilled with a javelin. But it could also refer to Phrygian cap, possibly indicating one of Pilate's ancestors was a freedman. So, Pilate is a name. I always thought Pilate was a title, like he was the pilot of that region, like he was like a, you know, like a captain.

But Pilate is a name. Yeah. Okay. And what's Pontius' name? We still don't know what Pontius means. Okay. His first name is unknown, but that must be associated. Yes, yes, because there's Pontius Aquila, an assassin of Julius Caesar.

Okay. He was a tribune of plebs. So that must be associated with his place in the Roman Empire. Let's Google meaning Pontius. Is Pontius a name or a title? According to traditional account, Pilate was a Russian equestrian knight of the Samaritan clan. Hence his name Pontius. He was appointed to the prefect of Judea through. It's a Roman family name.

It means seaman of the sea. So Pontius and Pilate is a name. Yeah, I always thought it was his name, but Pontius, when you think about it, sounds more like his role. It's a Roman family name. I thought it might be a description, like he was a pilot, but he was very Pontius compared to other pilots. Alternatively, it could be derived from the name of a province,

Pontus in Asia Minor. Notable bearer of the name was Pontius Pilate. Tim, you're very serious about this. I'm trying to make some gags here and you're getting all like. No, because I want to know, that's why. Let me tell you another Bible realisation I had the other day. Yes. I ended up learning this because I was doing a crossword with my wife.

And that is the famous story in the Bible, the parable of the prodigal son. Yes. And, you know, that's one of the most famous stories in the Bible for me. It's one of my favourite stories. And I was explaining it to my wife. She doesn't know as many Bible stories as me, so I was telling her about it. By the way, she was absolutely outraged by it, like most normal people are. Right.

What? They threw a party for him and gave him all the money. Anyway, I've known that story for as long as I can remember. And I always thought, because it's the story of the prodigal son, I always for some reason thought the word prodigal meant, you know, one who leaves and then comes back. Right. That's just what I assume prodigal meant.

When in fact, I've now come to the realisation, I was stupid to not know this, that prodigal meant when in fact i've now come to the realization i was stupid to not know this that prodigal actually meant just one who like spends and wastes lots of money and is very extravagant and that's why he's called the prodigal son because he wasted all the money yeah yeah and the fact the fact he came back is like you know that's that's important to the story but that's not what the name the name means in any way so for all this time i've always used the term prodigal because when we say prodigal because when we say prodigal son now in normal culture we mean one who leaves and then comes back to their

home back to where they started uh but the word prodigal doesn't mean that at all it means one who's wasteful so if you say you know if you say malcolm blight the football coach is the prodigal son who went to melbourne and then came back and coached the crows oh yes he's the prodigal son yeah calling him prodigal all the time means he's really wasteful and extravagant, which is not what you're meaning to say at all. Yeah, yeah, that's right. So sort of the meaning of the word has changed, or it changes when it's attached to son anyway.

Yeah, that's right. Well, the prodigal, yeah, goes off and then comes back because the whole storing is kind of entered into the lexicon of life. Yeah. The great, beautiful part. It is a wonderful story. It's a parable that Jesus tells. The interesting twist on it, though, of course,

is the most wasteful person is the father because the son goes off and blows his inheritance and then comes back and the father welcomes him back. It's like this act of grace and blows a big party for him and gives him the ring and welcomes him back extravagantly. So it's actually the father who is the prodigal. And really, he's really wasteful because it's like, hang on, you're throwing good money after bad. You know, you're throwing a massive, beautiful, welcoming party on a kid who's waste, which is a sign of God's grace and forgiveness and stuff.

So it's actually, it should be called the prodigal God, the prodigal father, really. He's the one that, you know, is very wasteful to the son when the son's been wasteful. So anyway, it's lovely. Yeah. Anyway, but when you tell the story to someone who's never heard it before, it just comes across as stupid and really unfair to the other brother who was a really good son yeah you make me want to preach now and explain it it's a it's a marvelous wonderful wonderful insert edit here the heart of christianity yeah i know i explained all that i explained it yeah yeah but it's still not fair

that's not that's right that's right grace isn't fair It's wasteful And that is why we should not practice it Do not be graceful people Alright anyway Before we go completely into the black hole Of one of Tim's sermons Let us thank Tom From Reading for his idea

Were they a baddie Corker of an idea Let us thank Tom from Reading for his idea. Were they a baddie? Corker of an idea. Yeah, good idea. And sorry about... So Pontius Pilate, baddie we've decided. There is one way of testing kind of history on bad people and good people that I once heard from someone, and that is do we use that historical figure's name for our children or our pets?

We call our dogs Brutus, you know what I mean? Caesar, yeah. Caesar, that's right, yeah, yeah. But we call our children, you know, Joshua. You know what I mean? Like upright people from history. So it's a nice little test. Yeah, you call dogs Satan, don't you?

But you wouldn't call your son Satan. By the way, speaking of children, did you have any special words today? No, I didn't. No, no special words to drop. Oh, that's all right then. They've just given up giving them to you now, have they? Literally, yes. They've given up on the Unmade podcast.

They're listening to Serial now.