The Unmade Podcast - 76: The Man with the Golden Tentacles

Episode Date: March 10, 2021

Tim and Brady discuss letters from the future, a toilet-themed spoon, another Sofa Shop cover, 'which is which', a history-themed idea from a Patron, Chariots of Fire, Brady's tumble... and other stuff. Go to https://nordvpn.com/unmadee and use code UNMADE to get a 2-year plan plus 1 additional month with a huge discount. It’s risk free with Nord’s 30 day money-back guarantee. And learn how a VPN works here - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCWNRzoQGis Thanks to Ting Mobile. Bring your phone and get $25 off at https://unmade.ting.com/ - Choose Smarter - Choose Ting Mobile Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/unmadeFM Join the discussion of this episode on our subreddit - https://redd.it/m2cdh4 USEFUL LINKS Back to the Future - https://amzn.to/3qyjY5m One Small Step for Man - Neil Armstrong on the Moon - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6jplPkbe8g Rockhampton, Queensland - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rockhampton Pictures of Spoon of the Week - https://www.unmade.fm/spoon-of-the-week Thanks Tim for your tubular bells cover and check out many of our Sofa Shop Covers here - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRNeH_Kpl1ZgpeiNeJ-oiAQ Princess Eugenie - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Princess_Eugenie Bert and Ernie - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bert_and_Ernie James Bond movie titles - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_James_Bond_films Ant and Dec - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ant_%26_Dec Chariots of Fire - https://amzn.to/3ciGr0Z

Hello, this is Brady talking. This is Brady talking. Yes, yes, yes, yes Would you like to go first with an idea for a podcast today? I would I have An interesting idea actually which came to me while I was trying to flesh out another idea, which will just you know Oh, you've got ideas spinning off your ideas tangents on your tangents that's right one idea plus another idea is two ideas and um but this one is um i'm gonna give it a pretty typically tim name which is um dear doc right okay now this this idea it's look it's Which is Dear Doc. Right. Okay. Now, this idea, look, when you think doc,

all kids of the 80s immediately go to Back to the Future. So this is a letter to Doc. Maybe Letter to Doc is a better name, although I'm sure there's a much, much better name. Actually, it's probably less Letter to Doc than Letter to Me. How about you tell us the idea before you rename it eight different times? Oh, right. Okay. Sorry. I'm just... Ever since we did our strategic vision process, I've just been blue-skying things and unpacking options and exploring ideas. Anyway, I'll put my post-it notes away here. The idea is that you

send a letter back to yourself or a friend, but I think it's more interesting yourself warning you to make a different decision for a particular event on a particular moment in your life. Okay. So, you know, Marty sends the letter back. Actually, there are two letters, aren't there? Marty sends a letter back to Doc to warn him. Yes, about the terrorists.

That's right. And it's quite short. He writes, I've got it here. Dear Doc Brown, on the night that I go back in time at 1.30am, you will be shot by terrorists. Please take whatever precautions are necessary to prevent this terrible disaster. Your friend, Marty. And, you know, I'm sure everyone's seen the film,

so we all know how that, you know, ends up being a helpful suggestion. So, just to remind people, in the movie, Doc doesn't want to know about the future and he rips up the letter in front of Marty. So, Marty's very upset by this, but it turns out what Doc actually does is sticks it back together and uses that information. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then, of course, returns the favour later on when Doc accidentally goes back in time without Marty from 1955 back to 1855, I think it is, isn't it, to the old Wild West. old wild west and then he writes a letter to marty that he gives with you know western union and it sits with them for like 100 years um 150 years i guess isn't it 130 years until they arrive and hand it to marty and that's a much longer letter but again just explaining his situation that he's alive and well and and in the old western yeah so i love this idea of guests coming on and essentially writing a letter to themselves back in time and warning, you know, posting the letter back in time to themselves, warning to make a different decision on a specific event. Now, I have a couple of examples that I've come up with. Okay. This is actually a lot of fun when you start thinking about it and imagining if you had the opportunity to write a letter back to your previous self, you know, what moment would you highlight to make a different decision?

Oh, your future self. Oh, indeed. Yes. Well, of course you could do this now, couldn't you? Okay. Yeah. Because you need to know the future before you can write to yourself. So your past self. All right. Anyway. Getting myself in a bit of a time travel conundrum here. No, it's... You're right, though.

Because what you can do is you can write a letter to your future self who may still be alive when time travel is possible to tell you to go back to your past self to fix something. So it actually... Ah, So it actually does work. This is why Tim and I don't write movies. Presuming, of course, that time travel is possible, probably just in another, like, decade or so. So you've done an example here. You're writing to yourself. I have.

I have. I've written. I have a short letter here that i'm i'm thinking of posting uh back to my previous self um and so let me read it to you right okay please please dear tim on the 17th of september 1997 at 7 30 p.m you will be in the car driving with your friends Matt and Dunk, both trying to persuade you to have either Subway or KFC for dinner. Matt wanted KFC and Dunk wanted Subway. You will be tempted to take the supposed more healthy option on this occasion and are leaning towards Subway. Please take whatever precautions are necessary to prevent this terrible disaster.

Your friend, Tim. Right. This is a moment. I always look back on this night as a wasted opportunity. I went with Subway and have always regretted it. And so I feel like if I could write back, I could say more. Were there some grander implications or you just wanted to have a KFC that night? No, I just missed a prime night of KFC down at Marriott.

Man, come on. And you went for Subway instead. Yeah, yeah. I'm glad you're using this power for something pretty important well that's right that's right it's yeah it's it's profound i mean there are several other meal opportunities that i've i've drafted letters for i've got them here i won't read them all but i mean when you start thinking about them so they all involve times you didn't choose kfc yes although there's not many of them to be honest. I have another one here

though, which is let's say a little bit more serious. Dear Tim, a couple of times in 2001, you'll be feeling like breaking up your relationship with your girlfriend. You'll be fearful about the future and making a

long-term commitment. Please know she is the best thing that will ever happen to you. Do nothing to threaten the relationship. Snap out of it, relax and enjoy it and propose today. Your friend, Tim. Oh, that's nice. That's nice. Please tell me that girlfriend is the one who's your wife now. Yes, yes, yes, indeed. Good. Let me just double check that date because she may listen to this. Oh, that's nice. So, what do you think of this idea?

I like it. It's kind of putting more complication and emphasis on basically just, you know, what would I tell my younger self? What are my regrets? But you're using the, you know, the method of a letter, which is fun. And also, I guess you're looking more here at specific pieces of advice and action rather than general things like, you know, wear sunscreen. don't stress so much. You're looking for specific moments. Yeah. Oh, I like the idea. You could actually, I mean, I've given a couple of very short examples,

but in the podcast, people, you could write, once you, it's a good exercise, you could write several pages actually just flowing out about life and reflections and particular moments and things like that and come on and read it to yourself. I think that as a premise for a podcast would actually be a really strong idea. When you were telling me about this last night, you kind of forewarned me because you were about the idea. You also mentioned the possibility that you could write letters to other people, not just yourself. And that got me thinking, like at first I was joking around,

like writing to the captain of the Titanic, telling him to look out for icebergs, you know, go easy on the accelerator. Yes, yes. But I did think of another one that I thought would be fun. I haven't written it down, but I'll try and phrase it like a letter spontaneously for you. So, I am in keeping with your genre.

I would say, dear Neil Armstrong, on the 20th of July, 1969, you'll be fortunate enough to take the first step by a human being on the moon. Well done. Wow. I think I know where this is going, but keep going, yes. The first words you speak on the moon are very important. Unfortunately, there is a slim chance in the excitement you may slightly fluff the line. Can I encourage you to take a deep breath, calm down, think about what you're going to say and say it very carefully?

Yes. Otherwise, you will spend the rest of your life having to answer for your possible misstep. Yours sincerely, Brady Haran. P.S. Can you send me a sign photo? That's cool. Now this might require a little bit of explanation for some people who think that that's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind is perfect. Yes. But what he intended to say and what he maintained he did say was that's one small step for a man.

Yes. One giant leap for mankind, which makes more sense, of course. He's stepping off the landing. So, he's the man. That's one more step. He's a man. Yeah. Whereas when you say one small step for man, that kind of sounds like mankind as well, because sometimes people just say man instead of mankind. So, you know. So, anyway, I mean, in hindsight now, I wonder if people would encourage him to say one small step for a person. That's right. One giant leap for humanity. But, you know, the times were what they are. That's right. And the kind of, is it alliteration?

The man and mankind, you know, that resonates. It kind of gives it that. Well, he could say one small step for a human, one giant leap for humankind. Or humanity. Humanity. Yeah, that's one small step for a human, one giant leap for humanity. Humanity. Yeah, that's one small step for a human, one giant leap for humanity. Not quite the same, is it? No. Anyway, anyway. He maintains he said it and like a bit of static in the communication took it out.

Other people think he just fluffed it in the heat of the moment. Anyway, I'd like to go back and give him another chance at that. Get it right. Although it is part of the lore, part of the legend. That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. The problem is, of course, because he's not getting your letter in retrospect. Ideally, he's getting it beforehand. That's the point of it, which may add even more pressure.

Like, oh, dear, I must really blow this. Some guy from the future has written back to me and he starts sweating. You know what I mean? It adds all this pressure. Yeah, it could increase the pressure. That's true. He could crash the whole thing under the pressure.

That's one small moon. No, wait, hang on. That's a small ladder. This is one giant spacesuit. No, wait, hang on. That's a small ladder. This is one giant spacesuit. No, wait, hang on. Can I just say to that person who's already on Reddit typing in that they would send themselves the lottery numbers? Yes, you could do that,

but that's not really the spirit of what we're talking about here, right? I know you're the person that wishes for three more wishes, yes, but that's not what we're doing here genius of that moment in primary school when someone pointed out ah one wish well we can do something with that i don't mind that idea i don't mind it i think it could actually be quite a serious podcast as well. You know, people can get very reflective about life and decisions and all that. But it would be nice to have maybe two letters, you know what I mean,

and one that's a little bit more fun. And people would talk about it and point out things. Would you add something to your letter to convince yourself that it's legit? Because if you just found a letter and it said, hi, this is a letter from future Tim, I hope now you would assume it's me playing some kind of prank so what's the what's the kind of what's the piece of information or the code or the secret thing you're going to put in the letter so you know it's real yeah that's a good point how do you i mean the very fact that you get a letter

oh that's hard to know isn't it there's some sort of fact you will, you know, you end up just explaining the dire consequences, which could make all sorts of complications with time travel, I found. The other thing, well, I tell you, just on that point, it might be a brilliant strategy to send to a young kid. So, imagine you as, when you were nine or 10, getting a letter from, let's say, you know, your parents wrote it, but saying, dear Brady, this is future Brady, you know. Eat your carrots. That's right. every night for an hour because there will be a game when you are 14 where you'll go to slog it for six and you'll you know get hit in between the legs but if you practice for an hour yeah do you

know what i mean it will you'll slog it for six or a home run as they call it in baseball for american listeners um like if you got that you know signed future Brady, you'd be like, oh, oh, wow. Like, you'd go out and you'd practice, practice, practice, practice, practice. It would be a great motivator. I don't know, man. You didn't really sell me on it. I need more incentive than that. I need, like, playing for Australia or something.

Oh. Have you ever thought of doing that to your daughters? Like, writing, like, fake letters from future them to try and get, alter their behaviour? Yeah. I did think of it when I thought of this idea a little while ago. But I wish I'd thought of it years ago. They're a little bit too discerning now. They've reached an age.

Okay, you don't think it wouldn't work now? No. Have you ever thought of writing one to your wife? Yes, yes, I have. Yes, I'm planning to do that. I bet she wishes she got that letter about those difficult time in the early 2000s. Oh, totally, totally. She'd take a whole different path.

Tim, we have a new sponsor today. Oh, wow. A new sponsor. Today's episode sponsor is NordVPN. Do you know what a VPN isn is well it's something to do with the internet isn't it like a it's not a web address but it's something it's what you use to to search is it your id for who you are on the internet your computer you got no idea i'm going to help you out here i I obviously do have ideas.

There's several of them already. So let me ask you some questions here, Tim. Okay. If you had a colleague at work and they had something really important and confidential and private they wanted to discuss with you, would you have that discussion out in the hallway or in the coffee room where all your colleagues are walking around? No. Good answer.

Thank you. Cheers. Let me ask you. Yes. Let me ask you another question. If I gave you a million dollars to keep, would you store it on a bench in Rundle Mall where thousands of people walk past every day? What's the other option? Or a safe in your house? Oh, definitely a safe in my house. Okay, good answer. Now, this is what a VPN does, except with your internet usage. Why use the internet simply through the typical digital pipes where anyone can hack in and snoop and look at all your zeros and ones?

Instead, you should shield yourself with a virtual private network from NordVPN. Wow. Is such an option available? It is. It is. Yes. So, Tim, seriously, you should be using NordVPN because basically this is a bit of software you'll put on your phone, your computer and all those sort of things. And whenever you're using the internet it creates a protective shield around your internet traffic protecting you from nefarious people russian spies hackers people that want to intercept your traffic and get up to no good i have actually been using nord vpn since 2016 i went and checked so i'm already a customer of this company which is brilliant wow because you know when they said they wanted to sponsor the show i was like great yeah i

already use it i'm already a paying customer i use it for two reasons one for that extra level of anonymity and protection when i'm on the web but also when you use it you choose what like server your traffic is going through is being like routed through, protected through. So you can choose different countries around the world. And then it's as if you're using the Internet from that country, which is really good because that lets me see the web, see the Internet as if I'm in that country, meaning I get to see it like as if I was in Denmark or Sweden or Australia. And that can be really handy sometimes because I want to see how like, you know, viewers and listeners are seeing the internet and webpages look different in different countries.

They're served up in different ways. You might have different content. So you can use a VPN to kind of pretend to be in another country and see what the internet's like from that country. So I was right. That's what a VPN isn't it? It's your ID or identity flowing out from your computer on the internet.

I know I'm putting it in more beautiful and poetic language. I wouldn't technically say you were right, but I'll let you have it. So anyway, NordVPN's got thousands of servers in over 60 countries. They've got 24-7 customer support. Apparently, they have military-grade encryption. Wow. I don't know exactly what that means, but it sounds pretty cool. Military-grade encryption.

It does. Wow. So, if you want to check them out, go to nordvpn.com slash unmade. Use the promo code unmade. And if you use the promo code, you're going to get a huge discount on a two-year plan. Basically, you're going to get an extra month for free. That's nordvpn.com slash unmade. And they've got a 30-day money-back guarantee as well.

So, you know, try it out and see how you like it first. The thing I like about it, it's a really good interface. It's a really good app. It's really good on the computer. It's really easy to use. They have like this world map and you can choose where you're, you can click the country you want to go through and things like that. It's quite snazzy. So this is like Nord-o-r-d vpn is that right

yep nord n-o-r-d vpn dot com slash unmade well there we go like google says i've looked at this site before you know it's got that different shade of purple if you've been to the site before i have no memory of it but that's awesome okay get on there now. Get on there now and sign up. Well, so now, I can't believe it. It's time again for everybody's favourite segment. Well, Tim's favourite segment. It's time for... Spoon of the Week.

Do you reckon people fast forward to Spoon of the Week? Like they're so excited? You know, like, I just want to hear that first and then I'll go back and listen to the other things and, you know, maybe Brady's idea later. I think they pleasure delay it. In fact, I think people skip it so they can listen to it at the end. They make it their own finale to the show

because they think it's the best bit. Oh, well. I wonder if we could edit together all the Spoon of the Weeks into one big giant greatest hits collection. One big cutlery drawer. By the way, today is your 20th Spoon of the Week. Wow. The big 2-0.

I really must get that spoon holder thing and put that up here in my office with them all here. Have you got one? No, I have to get one. Every now and then I'll think, I'll be walking down the corridor at work and I go, I must Google and see if you can get those souvenir spoon holders. And then by the time I get to my desk, I'm thinking about something else. That level of forgetfulness, by the way, people, that infects Tim in all ways.

Like even when we're recording a podcast. By the time I got to my desk i forgot i was supposed to call brady and do a podcast i'm sitting here waiting all right let me write here spoon holder letter to my dear tim you will forget to buy all right here we go okay all right what do we got spoon of the week what do you got? Well, Brady, this week's spoon continues the theme of having little model physical three-dimensional objects at the top of the spoon. We've had a few of these recently, and I've got another one here today, which is a spoon from Rockhampton in Queensland. And on the back, it says made in Australia in equally prominent letters. But above it is what we call in Australia, affectionately, a dunny. I'm pretty sure that's

an Australian term, but a lot of the Australian slang comes from, I know, Cockney rhyming slang. Is dunny a thing in England? I don't think an English person would know what a Dunny is. Right. I think that unless they know Australians. I think Dunny is Australian. Yeah. Tell us what a Dunny is, Tim. It's a toilet or a water closet, as it's called by architects,

or the bathroom, as they say in America. Yeah. The washroom. The washroom. Yes. Yeah. Yes. But. The washroom, yes. Yeah. Yes. But this is like an outhouse one, isn't it?

It's like an old, it's an out the back kind of dunny. It's not one, it's not just a toilet in a house. It's like a whole little shed like they, you'd have, that's more dunny like, isn't it? Oh, absolutely. Yes, yes. You're thinking about a rural area like out in the country on a farm or so forth and you build it, a little outhouse,

a tiny little shed, like a little cubicle away from the house. And there may be a pit, like a long pit, called a long drop, or there might be just, you know, a little bench that you sit on, obviously with a hole and a… Hopefully with a hole, yeah. Yes, indeed. inch that you sit on obviously with a hole and and and a hopefully with a hole yeah yes with design floor if it doesn't have a hole um yeah with a bucket and indeed my mum remembers a time in her childhood where a person would come around and change the buckets like that was like a

service he'd pay for around her town i mean she grew up in the country on a farm and they'd change the buckets and it was always a little bit weird if you were if you were on the toilet when the person came and they'd come from around the back and open a little hatch and pull out the bucket and pull another one in there so you could be in the process of uh making a deposit into the bucket as someone reached in and yes was there a way for them to know if that was happening so that was not like a disaster well i guess you i mean you might bang on the door anyone there but yeah apparently they didn't or if it was just a kid maybe or something i don't know but presumably the doors kind of shut all the time so you don't really know and if they're going to you know like a thousand of these during the day then it's just like out in you know bang move on when you were a kid

and you used to you know you'd go to somewhere that had a long drop usually like on a camping trip or something yeah you know and there'd be the actual long drops did you always find them really scary the thought of falling down that deep pit down in not just falling down a deep like pit which is scary enough but until what's obviously at the bottom there, it's like your worst nightmare. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you don't want to drop your mobile in there. Not that we had mobiles back then or, you know, the keys. You've got to be very careful.

If you go to Glastonbury, the music festival, which obviously hasn't run for a couple of years now, but they have, like, lots and lots of toilets there, obviously, because there's, like, hundreds of thousands of people at this music festival, and it's held on a farm, so they all have to be portable toilets. So they have lots and lots of portaloos, but they get into such bad conditions so quickly

that you don't want to use them. But the other thing they have, which believe it or not is more appealing to use, is they build these huge pits, like the size of, i'm trying to think the same sort of square footage of a house i would say this huge pit and then they have rows and rows of toilets around that one joint pit that everyone's going to the toilet in so you'll go into your own cubicle and the person next to you will be in a cubicle and the person 20 down will be in a cubicle but you're

all going to the toilet into this same mega pit and you can look at look you can see the pit it's just the it's just the mega pit of poo you wouldn't believe it are you on some sort of balcony like and so it drops down into the pit how does it how does it work imagine you know a long drop which is basically a box with a hole in it with a deep pit, right? Just imagine having 20 of those long drops all next to each other and instead of each one having its own single silo pit, you think, well, what the hell? I'll just build one huge pit for all of them. So you're kind of all dangling above the one pit.

But what foundations is the actual cubicle standing on then? Oh, there's like concrete and stuff. They're pretty sturdy. You're not like that. Right, right. Yeah. You don't feel like you're going to fall in. Right, right.

Yeah. Wow, that's far out. Getting into the spirit of Glastonbury. So, I guess the outhouse, the rickety old wooden outhouse with a long drop dunny in it is a bit of an Australian icon. And that's what they put on top of this spoon. Is Rockhampton famous for toilets? Or why are they selling a spoon with a toilet on it? Well, it's just out that sort of way. It's sort of northern Queensland. Queensland's a bit like the Texas of Australia, isn't it? You know, it's sort

of, you know, the place you associate with it being hot and farms and cattle and all that kind of stuff. So, maybe it's a bit more that way maybe maybe it's just something that they think embodies the spirit of rockhampton which is sort of up north of australia it's getting quite warm i must say the stem is quite elegant and the scoopy bit is plain and yet has a really nice shape to it so from the dunny down it's just a beautiful conventional spoon, perfectly acceptable, and then above it is, you know, a toilet. Yeah. All right.

There you go. Who would have thought that we would spend this much time talking about toilets and poop? I had a hint when I chose the spoon, of course. Yeah. You did. You knew what was coming. I have to say i went to a a rock festival the other day which happening again in australia albeit with lots of social distancing and special cubicles and all that kind of stuff and i was the guest of a friend which was great and they had vip tickets

which meant we had special toilets and we got there early and there's nothing greater than going to an event like that, going into one of those portaloos and you know you're the very first person to use it. I'm not coming back to this for the rest of the night. It's just, you know what I mean? Clean. Oh, it's such a relief.

VIP toilets at a music festival. There's absolute gold dust. That's incredible what you'd pay in the moment to be able to use it I should mention here if people want to get sort of a bit of an insight into the Portolou world there is a very funny

Australian film called Kenny do you remember seeing Kenny yes I believe we've even discussed it on the podcast before oh really okay anyway that's just a little mention for Kenny if you're looking for a funny Australian character. All about toilets. All about portaloos and that, yeah. Good film. Good fun film. Now, at the end of each Spoon of the Week section, we like to give away one of our Unmade Podcast souvenir

spoons to a Patreon supporter. How are we going to choose it today? I think maybe it's going to have to be a ceremonial flushing of a toilet perhaps do you want to uh do you want to press the button and see who the winner is let's see who who who chance flushes out all right here we go okay there we go all right there we go. And there's a piece of toilet paper with the name of the winner written on it. And it looks like it is. It is Matt P from Indiana.

Matt P from Indiana in the US of A. You are the recipient of an Unmade Podcast spoon. And I'll be popping that into the post to you in the very near future. Congratulations, Matt P. Oh, I didn't even, yeah, that was not intentional. Sorry, I just realised. I do know Matt's surname. I didn't want to say it on the show, and as a result, I have made a little toilet joke.

I was not belittling your name, Matt. I do know what your surname is. Now, Tim, last episode, we had a sofa shop advertising jingle cover. It was played on the Carillon Bells Century Tower in Florida, USA, which was magnificent. Magnificent moment. which was magnificent. Yes. Magnificent moment.

It did make me realise I had received another Bells cover that I had forgotten about and I feel a bit guilty about that now so I thought I will play you another cover of The Sofa Shop. This comes from a Tim, namesake of yours, in Everett, Washington, USA, near Seattle. And Tim says, in light of your recent request for a cover of the infamous Sofa Shop jingle on bells, a friend of mine was kind enough to loan me his tubular bells and glockenspiel so I could create this cover for you.

I'm not a professional musician, but I hope it's up to Unmade Podcast standards. Enjoy. And here it is. Terima kasih telah menonton What do you reckon, Tim? I mean, that's obviously up to Unmade Podcast standards. Oh, yes. We don't have high standards here. I mean, he could have sent in a blank file and it would have been up to podcast standards. Look, that's lovely. Yeah.

Yeah. Beautiful. Well done. Not bad. Not bad at all. No, very classy. I just want to find a tweet I got today, which I'm sure you saw as well, but I thought was worth bringing up. Let me see if I can find it.

Here it is. This is a tweet from at Ondra JC. Last night, I heard the sofa shop melody from the bedroom of my three-year-old daughter as she sang that song before falling asleep. As we don't speak English, the words were only so-so, but the melody was right. It's spreading. It's everywhere. Marvelous. right it's spreading it's everywhere i so want a recording of a three-year-old girl who doesn't speak english singing the sofa shop jingle please please that's awesome it's the next generation

it's wonderful to see the baton being passed on, isn't it? We have another sponsor message, which is very appropriate, after tubular bells. Because guess who's back? Ting. Yes. Is it? It is. Oh, yes, Ting.

Ting Mobile. This is brilliant. Magnificent. Now, as we all know, Ting is a mobile phone service, plans for your phone. And Ting's thing, or Ting's Ting, is understanding that we all make phone calls and texts, right? That's cool. But it's the data where a lot of phone companies can kind of rip you off sometimes. Because if you're at home a lot or you're using your work Wi-Fi, which we all are a lot these days, you aren't even using the data from the phone company. And at the end

of the month, you get billed for a bunch of data you haven't even used. So Ting are all about the pay as you go, only pay for the data you're using, and they can give you better prices that way. Since we last spoke about them, which was I think last year, they've also got some great discount plans with cool names like Flex and Set5 and Unlimited, which was, I think, last year. They've also got some great discount plans with cool names like Flex and Set5 and Unlimited, which allow you to save even more money. I won't go into all the details now because, you know, there's some details. Go and have a look at their website where it's all laid out nice and simply and you can compare all those plans. But to give you an idea, you're looking at like talking and texting for $10 a month and then data for 15 bucks or five gigabytes for 25 bucks, or they've got this unlimited one

for 45 bucks. Go and have a look. By the way, that's US dollars because I'm afraid Ting is only available to our US civilians as I speak. That's a shame. I'm looking at it. Looks good. Yeah. Well, you know, if you're ever in America, you can get in there. The Ting people reckon you could pretty much halve your phone bill by making the switch. So go to unmade.ting.com to check them out. That's unmade.ting.com. And if you use that one, they're going to give you 25 bucks credit on your account by using that url that's an even bigger discount so you'd be crazy to not use it unmade.ting.com ting there's a lot of energy in

the word isn't it just saying ting it's a good word it's a good word i just like saying it shall we move on to a podcast idea from me yes yes if we must all right all right if we warning people so it's kind of how the show works. If you need a toilet break. Tim's got the spoon for you, that's for sure. My idea is called Which is Which? And let me tell you where I got the idea from, because that's always a fun way to crystallise the idea. I was looking at a newspaper story the

other day where it said that princess eugenie in the uk had had a baby yep and there were two daughters of prince andrew and sarah ferguson princess eugenie yep and princess beatrice yes and i looked at that story and i thought, which one is Eugenie? I always get Eugenie and Beatrice mixed up. And if there's not a picture of them, I don't know which one they're talking about. And then later on, I saw a picture of them and went, oh, yeah, it's that one. It's the one that looks like that. Eugenie and Beatrice.

I never know which one is which. Yes, yes. So, I like the idea of a podcast dedicated to these things in life that you get them mixed up. You never quite know which one's which. Another absolute classic for me. I cannot get it right and I have to Google it every time. And we were talking about this the other day and I had to Google it. Bert and Ernie.

I always forget which one's Bert and which one's Ernie. No. Are you serious? Yeah, it's a thing for me. I kind of think I always get there in the end. Bert's the one with the big narrow face, isn't he? And Ernie's like the nice one. Is that right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bert looks like a banana and Ernie looks like an orange. Right. Okay. Bert and Ernie. So, Bert and Ernie is another one for me. Now, just clear. Do you get bananas and oranges mixed up?

Which is weird. The banana's the one you... Oh, hang on. You peel them both. Let me... Another thing I always get mixed up, which is more forgivable, and that's James Bond movies. Because, listen to this.

This is just a selection of James Bond movies. You ready? The Man with the Golden Gun, Goldfinger, Golden Eye, A View to a Kill, Licence to kill, the living daylights, live and let die, tomorrow never dies, no time to die, die another day. Give me a break. What chance have I got? I actually watched a Bond documentary the other day and they were going through the history of it. It was a very good documentary.

But it was every, it's like they were pumping them out every year or two. You know, Sean Connery came back and then this other person came in and then Connery, and it's just, you know, I really, but they were using the term. I really wanted to do Goldfinger, but I didn't want to do the man with the golden, and, you know, they were referring and I was lost. Like what, what, what, what?

Yeah. Whatever happened to Octopussy? You're never going to forget that. Octopussy's good. That's the outlier, isn't it? It's not like there are, like, five or six James Bond movies that are all octopus-themed. That's right. The Man with the Golden Tentacles.

Yeah. I have to be careful with my pronunciation of that one. I'm so calling this episode The Man with the Golden Tentacles. I just want to envisage the film The Man with the Golden Tentacles now. Like, what a great film. What a great battle in the finale as they're as they're thrashing around in the shallow surf or is james bond the man with the golden tentacles yeah well no that's what i thought yeah yeah i i have to say i get um in the uk you have those presenters ant and deck and and i don't know which one's Ant and Deck,

but they seem to be hosting everything to do with the royal family. Yes, that's a good one. That's one that like a joke that old people don't know which one's Ant and which one's Deck. So that's a very good one. Yeah. What about the Proclaimers? I don't even know their names.

They look like they are. Surely they just have the same name for ease. The guy from the Proclaimers and the other guy from the Proclaimers. I know there are some people that get left and right wrong and have to make little shapes with their hands to know which is left and which is right because their left hand makes an L shape when you hold out your index finger and your thumb.

Yeah. I remember as a kid, kid you know trying to sort out that once and for all and when it comes of course the big moment when you're the pressures on is when you're putting your shoes on right and so so once one suggestion was that you write and someone actually did this at some stage it must have been mum write a little l on my left shoe and an r on my right shoe, thinking that would help. But the thing is, I knew the shape of the shoes. It's just, I look at it and I go, okay, left.

And then I go, but which foot's left? Like, that didn't help. That's just reinforcing the fact that I need to make... You also needed L and R tattooed on your feet. No, see, that's exactly right. That's exactly right. That would have been more helpful. Imagine doing that and having it wrong, though, and having L tattooed on your right foot and R tattooed on your left.

But then you've just got to remember it's the opposite to the way my feet are. That's right. I told my wife about this idea, and she was looking out the kitchen window this morning at our bird feeder, and there were some little, you know, nondescript little brown birds eating seed and she said birds is one that she doesn't know which is which you know someone will look out and go oh yes that's a gold crested blue tit or whatever oh yeah you know some people know all the but but to her they're still birds yeah i don't know i don't know it's a bird i'm like that with flowers as well it's like

yeah and i and and every now and then i try like we'll be at the botanic gardens or somewhere and i'll go oh oh is this a petunia and my wife will just walk away like shaking her head disgusted just look at me what what she'll go back and write that letter in 2001 you're going to meet a guy that knows nothing about flowers i imagine having young children there must be lots of those things for you when it comes to like things that kids are into like what i don't know what kids are into like you know cartoons or characters or toys and things and they want to collect the set and they you know oh i must get this one and that one and you they just all seem the same to you yeah yeah and i and i there's one we keep going back to they used to love a show

called octonauts right and there's all these little characters in it and um i always pretend to get the names wrong i do kind of always get them wrong and they just found it really funny that i'd call him captain bananicals instead of captain barnacles and okay there's a character called quasi and i used to call him peso is that they just throw a cushion which is? Tell us what your which is which problems are. What are things you always get mixed up? We would love to hear from you on Twitter, on Reddit. Write us a letter, if you like, from the future. Do you reckon people get us confused?

Which one's Brady and which one's Tim? That's true, yeah. Especially because they can't see us, because otherwise you just think, handsome, Brady, glasses, Tim. That's right. Glass. But when you can't see us. Because that's the binary.

At one end you've got handsome, at the other end you've got glasses. I shared a picture of you today, and one of the civilians commented on it saying, oh, wow, Tim looks much younger than I imagined. Oh, really? God knows how old they must have imagined you are. Was it a recent picture of me? Yeah.

Wow. Yeah. It's like your author picture. Oh, no. Yes. Well, that's not a bad one, I have to say. It's about five years old, but... It's not a bad one, I have to say. It's about five years old. It's not a bad one, but you don't look like, you know.

I wouldn't have thought you'd look super young in it. No, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. The girls were telling me the other day that I look old. I look really old. They're like, Dad, you look so old. You're old.

And I don't mind. I didn't want to say anything, man, but yeah. Am I sounding old? Do you reckon Is my voice older? You think you have an old person's voice? Like kids you get out of the way I don't think you have an old person's voice I think you've got quite a young voice

Oh well there you go My spoon in the wig voice obviously is a lot more A lot older with a lot more gravitas But It carries a certain amount of Experience with it My spoon of the week voice obviously is a lot more, a lot older with a lot more gravitas. But. Well, yeah, it carries a certain amount of, you know, experience with it. A man that's seen a lot of spoons. I'll tell you what I love.

I'm going grey. Like along the side. You know, not just going grey. I have grey along the sides and so forth. And I'm starting to get on top. And I really, I really like it. It's really exciting. I really quite enjoy it. Yeah. Think you're a bit of a silver fox yeah yeah yeah yeah i threw out the name silver fox to the girls when they were talking the other day and they they just

sort of shook their heads you know like you know when you've smelled something that's not very nice you go like this i don't think they knew that term. All right, Tim, enough of our ideas. It's time for an idea from a Patreon supporter. One of the little perks you get for being a Patreon supporter is we read out your ideas on the show. And today we have, oh, I just realised we have a Canadian. We haven't had a Canadian idea for a while. Nice. Nice. All right. Shall I read it? Go for it.

Hello, Tim and Brady. My name is Rory and I am from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. I'm an undergraduate student. My main academic interests are economics, history and political science. I've been listening to the Unmade podcast since the beginning and it is one of my all-time favourites. I enjoy listening to the podcast while going for walks and playing video games. I'm very happy that I became a patron and hearing Tommy Ball Tim read my name out loud was one of the most amazing moments of my life. Yes, fair enough, yes.

Yeah. My idea for a podcast was somewhat inspired by Brady's Room Where It Happened idea. I am also a big Hamilton fan and my own interest in history. The podcast would involve discussing fictional depictions of historic events, big and small, such as the events portrayed in Hamilton, and talking about the real history that surrounds them. the events portrayed in Hamilton and talking about the real history that surrounds them. The podcast would not be about simply fact-checking or debunking fictional accounts, but more of a discussion of the real history and how interesting it can be. I don't have a name for this podcast, so perhaps Tim could take a crack at naming it,

since he's so good at it. All the best, Rory from Canada. Nice. Well, yeah, solid, solid. So I am a big Hamilton fan and I've seen it many times and obviously I've read all about the real history and where the stage show deviates from that. But that's not what I want to talk about, Tim. When it comes to a fictional depiction of a famous historic event that I love reading about the deviation, it's the film Chariots of Fire. Ah, yes, yes. of a famous historic event that I love reading about the deviation.

It's the film Chariots of Fire. Ah, yes, yes. Now, I love the film Chariots of Fire. As the years go by, I think it more and more becomes possibly my favourite film. I think it's magnificent in almost every way. If you haven't seen it, you should watch it. I am going to do some spoilers now, but it's a historic event. So, you know, you can't really spoiler historic events, can you? Well, you can be surprised by a plot line.

Yes, of course. It happened a long time ago. So, yeah, there will be people who obviously don't know the story. I'm going to quickly summarise the story before I talk about the deviations here, if I may. You may. So, Chariots of Fire is essentially a film about two men, Eric Little, who is a Christian Scottish runner. He's a very naturally gifted runner. He was also a rugby player, but this film is about his ability as a runner, mainly a sprinter. And Harold Abrahams, who is English and Jewish and a more intense, serious character, who also is a runner, and the two of them are rivals. And the film is mainly about their rivalry

and their different attitudes to running. And religion comes into it, as does various other things. It comes to a head at the 1924 Paris Olympics, because although one is Scottish and one is English, they're on the same team at the Olympics. And it's going to be this big finale because the two of them will finally run head to head. They've run head to head once before and little wins, but they're going to have their final showdown in the 100 metre sprint at the Paras Olympics. As they get on the boat to go to the Olympics, Eric Little finds out that the heats for the 100 metres are going to be held on Sunday. And because he's a man of great Christian devotion and exercising and doing too much stuff on Sunday has been a theme in the film, he decides not to run, which is a true thing that happened.

Harold Abrahams does run in the 100 metres. He wins it. But then one of Little's teammates gives up his space in the 400 metres race so that Eric Little can still run at the Olympics, even though that's not his distance or event. And Eric Little wins it and wins the gold medal. Happy ending. Amazing film. There's a lot more to it than I just explained, but it's a brilliant film. Now, I always have assumed this was quite an accurate depiction. And when I talk about and think about what happened all those years ago, you know, I will cite the film and I will use the film as a reference material. That is actually a very dangerous thing to do with any film. And I've since learned in numerous

ways, it's a very dangerous thing to do with Chariots of Fire because this isn't exactly what happened. This is not how history actually unfolded. Okay. Did you know this, Tim? Did you know that Chariots of Fire has many, many historical inaccuracies? I assumed there was some playing around the edges, but the fundamental facts about the race, I assumed, were accurate. Can I also add, I love this film, and it's so funny that you mention it. I've been thinking about it lately as well, and I was playing the soundtrack in the car the other day.

Yeah. Perfect timing. It's probably more famous for its soundtrack than anything of course yeah yeah yeah but it's a much it's a yes but it's a it's a marvelous film anyway what's what's so what's different in history let me talk about some of the most iconic famous important things that happen in the film one scene that i think is very memorable is the courtyard run at Cambridge College with the clock chiming and Harold Abrahams. No one's ever run around the courtyard of the university before the clock strikes 12 and Harold Abrahams does it for the first time ever.

Well, that's just not true. He never even attempted the run. Is running around the courtyard a thing? It is a thing. It is a thing. It has been achieved a couple of times, but Abraham's was not the first. It had already been done when Abraham's was alive, and Abraham's never attempted it. Right.

Okay. Okay. Harold Abraham's love life, he meets Sybil, the performer, who becomes a real stabilizing influence in his life. He didn't meet her or marry her until well after he'd won his Olympic gold medal. Okay. He didn't meet her or marry her until well after he'd won his Olympic gold medal Ah Okay The funeral that bookends the film, Harold Abraham's funeral And Lindsay and Montague, the only ones who are still alive And they leave the church at the end, you know

The last survivors from this golden generation Montague died 30 years before Abraham's Oh, really? Yeah Right, okay The piece of paper that's given to Eric Little that he runs with By Jackson Schultz the American He died 30 years before Abraham's. Oh, really? Yeah. Right. Okay. The piece of paper that's given to Eric Little that he runs with by Jackson Schultz, the American. He hands him a piece of paper before his race.

It says in the old book, he that honors me, I will honor. Good luck, Jackson Schultz. There was a piece of paper with that quote handed to Eric Little, but it was by his British teammates. Oh, okay. Not by Jackson Schultz, his American rival. Jackson Schultz was still alive when they made Chariots of Fire, and they said, can we have you hand the piece of paper? We think it'll be better for the story. And he said, yeah, great.

Yeah. As long as it makes me look good. But I think the two of the most important things that I feel a little bit cheated by, but made it for such a great film. In the film, Eric Little gets on, is getting on the boat when he finds out about the 100 metre race being on Sunday and he can't compete. And he pulls out practically at the Olympics. They knew months and months before about this problem.

Little had pulled out already and they decided to put him in the 400 metres and he spent months training for that instead yeah okay yeah right also in the film harold abrahams also runs in the 200 meters and he bombs out in that and that adds adds to the pressure on him he's already stuffed up once at the olympics what's going to happen in the 100 meters in fact he won the 100 meters gold before the 200 meters that he stuffed up. So he already had his gold medal in the bag. But not only that, how's this

for something they left out of the film? Eric Little and Harold Abrahams both ran in the 200 metres at the Paris Olympics. Little came third behind Jackson Schultz and Charles Paddock and got a bronze medal. And Abrahams in the same race did really badly.

So Little and Abrahams raced each other at the Paris Olympics. Oh, really? Wow. Yes. And neither of them won gold. Sorry, I had to get all that off my chest. I'm sorry, people. Watch the film, though.

It's bloody fantastic. It is a fantastic film, yeah. And the fundamental principles are very strong, you know, about this devotion and about them being characters. By the way, you know the character Lord Lindsay, played by Nigel Havers, great character, didn't exist, was a made-up character. Oh, okay.

He's sort of an amalgam of a few characters. So, Tim, is there a fictional depiction of a historic event that, you know, is inaccurate that fictional depiction of a historic event that, you know, is inaccurate that you like talking about or correcting or drives you crazy or you have thoughts upon? I mean, putting aside the Star Wars trilogy, which happened a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, historical films, hmm. I've always wondered about Braveheart, which is, again, based on a historical figure.

But the one thing that irks me about that is it's obviously is a Scotsman, William Wallace. And yet there are no bagpipes in the film Braveheart because apparently Mel Gibson doesn't like bagpipes and thought they'd be really annoying. And so there's like an Irish flute music going on all the time, which is sort of sweeping and nice and very sort of Titanic-ish. But I love bagpipes, and that always, you know, annoyed me once I realised that. I think the bagpipes would be a much more evocative and, of course, authentic sound.

The other film that I really love, and it's very Chariot Sophia-esque, is The Right Stuff, about the breaking of the sound barrier and the first astronauts, the first, you know, the Mercury astronauts in the US. And that is another film that I spend a lot of time reading about the historical accuracy of, because that also has a lot of, you know, artistic license taken in it. And obviously there are events there that I'm really into, so that's another one that I kind of rip to pieces in a friendly way,

but still very much love the film. Great film, Great film. Great film. If you have never seen Chariots of Fire or The Right Stuff, do yourself a favour. Two of the best films ever made, in my opinion. I haven't seen The Right Stuff for years. I must watch that again.

And yes, I know The Right Stuff has been remade into a TV series. Please, you do not need to tweet me about it. Have you? Please. Please. Is it? I was wondering if, could you make, I wonder if the Chariots of Fire would have been so romantic if instead of running, they were really into, like, snooker or darts, like at uni, you know?

Yeah. With table tennis? Snooker. Well, the stuff you actually spend a lot of time doing when you're at university, you know. Like, I didn't do a lot of running at university, to be honest. But, jeez, I played a lot of table tennis. Played a lot of pool. Yeah.

You'd get a better soundtrack because you'd have, you know, like Pearl Jam and Guns N' Roses and, you know, all this really loud playing in the pool room. If you had to make a film about our lives, you know, and our friendship, what would the main, like, what would the film be about? Like, what would its main thrust be? Chariots of Fire has a running at the Olympics. Yeah. The Right Stuff has, like, going into space. What's our thing?

What's the setting? Like, the climax? Well, it would be vast, wouldn't it it it'd have different acts and movements and it would it would because you know there's like a lot of years where we were like you know didn't have a lot of contact and we're living in different countries and stuff so there'd be like the lost years yeah yeah just out in the wilderness we're both just on a secluded island. With like big long beards, like, yeah, cast away. And someone coming to the door saying, it's Brady on the phone.

And me turning away and going, I don't want to know about it. And then. I was thinking more. It's have you seen Brady's still alive? And Tim faints. He's on this new thing called the Internet. I grumble and then late at night I dust off a laptop, open it up and then click on and search. And there it is. And I dust off a laptop, open it up, and then click on and search, and there it is.

And I just stare at the photo for ages. They've got Tim with the dictionary, his finger just going down the list of words and stopping on the word podcast. What is this thing? There's some pretty cool years early. In the Renault, the Renault years, driving around in the Renault. Let's think about that. In the meantime. I'll tell you what could be. years, driving around in the Renault. Let's think about that. I don't know.

In the meantime. I'll tell you what could be, hey, I've thought of another letter. Yeah. Like one moment that would be awesome in the screenplay would be a letter. Hang on, let me see if I can compose it as I go. Like, dear Tim, in late 2020, Brady will be over to visit in Adelaide in your new apartment. He will sit down on a swivel chair holding a Milo with the dog nearby. Hand him a second Milo.

And you won't be disappointed so that when Brooklyn jumps on his lap. No, you know what you should say? What? This is what you later should say. Dear Tim, in 2020, Brady will be at your house. He will sit on your precarious swivel chair, holding a very full and hot cup of Milo. Your dog will look at him enthusiastically. At that point, get out your camera press record

and wait for the cash to roll in absolutely folks this was a spectacle not only is the the sight of of brady leaning back on this swivel chair and so it sort of leans back holding his coffee high up in the air. And then the dog jump, actually getting up and jumping onto him and him leaning, which in itself was very, very funny. But then the whole chair falling back on the ground.

So Brady's legs just flying up in the air and just coffee flying up. Sorry, Milo flying up into the air against the wall over the rug. It was spectacular. It was the most spectacular incident accident. Sorry, Milo flying up into the air against the wall over the rug with Brooklyn on it. It was spectacular. It was the most spectacular incident, accident I've been involved with. Even I was laughing. But not a single frame of it was captured.

No, no. The aftermath was, but I was literally holding my phone. It would have been just so perfect to film. You needed the letter. You needed the letter. Yes. If I could go back, I would capture it. That was very, that happened in slow motion in real time.

It was so funny. That chair is ridiculous. It is so top heavy and it's got such a tiny little pinpoint contact with the ground. Surely people fall out of that thing all the time. Oh, well, do you know what? I've lost the battle on this one i quite like the swivel chair um but my wife has has deemed it not and it's been moved under the stairs near the front door to go like it's got to go so it's not even being used now it's been you know put on the bench

so i'm not surprised i'm not surprised i like it i like it i have to say let me ask you something else just quickly while we're talking about your dog and chairs. Because I saw you tweet a picture the other day of your dog ripping the leather off your lovely Chesterfield sofa. Yes. And you're posting all these cute pictures of it like it's the funniest thing you've ever seen. That's an outrage, Tim. Yeah. It's an outrage.

It is. Yes. Yes. He was. Well, yes. He's an outrage. It is. Yes, yes. He was, well, yes, he's been disciplined. Like we've had a really serious talking to. How's he been disciplined? You photographed and put it on social media.

Well, he doesn't know that, does he? Like he's. Look, it was softened a little bit by the fact that we had decided to replace the sofa. You know, like it's 20 years old and it was worn and we were going to get another one. So it was a bit, it was, and then suddenly he decided to eat it. So I guess a little bit of the, oh my goodness, was like, oh, well, we're getting rid of that anyway. All right. It was in the midst of the conversation about let's get rid of this sofa, which is, you know, old and worn and stuff,

that my wife then says, and that's going to, pointing to the swivel chair. And I was like, no, come on. And it was just, I lost because no husband ever has ever won that particular argument. So before we finish, have you got in the words for your daughters today? There are no words.

No words. No words. No words. No words. No words. Really? Have they gone on strike? I think they have, yes. So I would say that job well done. They didn't have words.

I didn't say the words. It's a perfect podcast for me.