The Unmade Podcast - 77: Sprinkle My Ashes

Episode Date: March 18, 2021

Tim and Brady discuss some parish notices, Celtic Fusion Music, Cremation, fan art, a Dutch spoon from the future, a lost spoon, another amazing Sofa Shop performance, the planets, and clowning around. MuskOx has thoughtfully made, high-quality men's apparel - check them at gomuskox.com and use the code UNMADE for 15% off - https://www.gomuskox.com Go to Storyblocks for stock video, pictures and audio at storyblocks.com/unmade - https://www.storyblocks.com/unmade And here's a video of today's Storyblocks 'planets challenge' without spoilers - https://youtu.be/5s_JGiSOiyo Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/unmadeFM Join the discussion of this episode on our subreddit - https://www.reddit.com/r/Unmade_Podcast/ USEFUL LINKS The Corrs - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Corrs Breathless music video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzerbXFwGCE I Never Really Loved You Anyway music video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3AhvmicuFg Gene Shoemaker - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eugene_Merle_Shoemaker Southern Sons - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Southern_Sons The fan art of Tim - https://www.unmade.fm/episode-77-pictures Pictures of Spoon of the Week - including today's AND the previous Singapore one too - https://www.unmade.fm/spoon-of-the-week The Sofa Shop is played at Yale - video - https://youtu.be/In5c4Z4cWe4 The Harkness Tower - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harkness_Tower The National Carillon in Canberra - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Carillon Thanks for today's cover contributions - and check out many of our Sofa Shop Covers here - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRNeH_Kpl1ZgpeiNeJ-oiAQ Ronald McDonald - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ronald_McDonald

Good morning, Tim. Oh, well, good morning, man. How are you? I'm well. I thought maybe we could start the show with a sofa shop ad jingle cover with a bit of a morning theme. So, ready please, Mr Music. Isn't this lovely? Pass me a croissant, would you, Tim? There you are. And the butter.

There's the butter. Enjoying that coffee? This is a good coffee. That lovely cover of The Sofa Shop came from Scott. And here's what Scott said. Tim and Brady, greetings from Iowa in the US, in the middle of the country. As I was watching The Sunrise this morning, I felt the urge to hear The Sofa Shop jingle, so I decided to throw together a stereotypical morning symphony cover. I hope you enjoy it.

Well, we did, Scott. It's so appropriate. I've got the sun coming up over my right shoulder here. Just glorious. Gorgeous. How cool is it to be able to just throw together a symphony in the morning when you feel like it and send it to a couple of podcasters? I wish I could do that. I reckon, I reckon, yes.

We will have more sofa shop news later in the show, and it's awesome. It's totally worth the wait. Big news. We are burying the lead a bit, so make sure, if you do decide to skip stuff like Tim's ideas and all that sort of stuff, that's fine, but don't miss the sofa shop stuff later on. Now, Tim, parish notices. We haven't done parish notices for a while.

I thought I'd like to just bring people up to speed with a few items of interest, if I may. Absolutely. And there's so many things happening around Melbourne Uniting, I have to say. We had a baptism and a picnic the other day, which was really great. We've launched the new strategic plan, as we've talked about. Yes. And you can find out all about that on the Malvern Uniting website, but we're here for the Unmade podcast. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Yes, yes, yes. So, first of all, I think it was last episode, my idea was called Which is Which?

And I talked about how I get things mixed up sometimes, like Bert and Ernie. I sometimes don't know which is Bert and which is Ernie. And Princess Eugenie and Princess Beatrice, things like that. Yes, yes. We encouraged people to tell us some of their mix-ups. Loads of them have come in. And I thought I might just mention a few of them.

You know, we don't often follow up the ideas. We do read all your comments on the subreddit and Twitter. We don't always mention them, but thought I'd do that today. Fire away. These come from our subreddit, where we always enjoy discussions about the show. Gwaw, I think is how you pronounce this user, says, I used to confuse Chandler and Joey in Friends.

Also, I tend to confuse pen and pencil since my native language doesn't have separate words for them and pencil starts with pen wow many fins also confuse cricket and croquet because they are crickety and crockety in finnish i do remember which is which but i always have to think about it for a short moment first. Ah, see, what? Kwa? What an awesome name. Gwa.

Gwa, what a name. Gwa. Gwa Blimey. Gwa. He's making a distinction between forgetting the names for things or mixing up the names for things and the thing themselves. Like it's not like you mixed up the words Bert and the word Ernie. It's their faces that you get mixed up.

Well, I think both are applicable here. This is what Smarty McTry said. My witch's witch case is Tom and Jerry. As a kid for the longest time, I thought the mouse was Tom and the cat was Jerry. Even after all these years, I feel like I'm not 100% sure. I had a quick peek at Wikipedia just before posting this. Yeah, that's fair enough.

I think I knew that as a kid, but I think I'd have to stop and think about it again. So hang on, is Tom, I thought Tom was the cat too, I think. Hang on. Well, that's what he's saying. Which is which out of Tom and Jerry? Which is the cat and which is the mouse? Is Tom not the cat too, I think. Hang on. Well, that's what he's saying. Which is which, Ed, and Tom and Jerry? Which is the cat and which is the mouse?

Is Tom not the cat, like a Tom cat? Is Tom the mouse? That's what I think they're saying. I thought Tom was the cat. Well, I think they're saying that's what they thought, but they thought it incorrectly. Hang on, I need to find out which is Tom and Jerry. Well, maybe we're all right.

I don't know. Just Googling Tom and Jerry doesn't help, does it? The cat named Tom and the mouse named Jerry. Yeah we're all right. And just Googling Tom and Jerry doesn't help, does it? The cat named Tom and the mouse named Jerry. Yeah, that's right. So Smarty McTryer is saying, as a kid, I thought for the longest time. Oh, the mouse. Yeah. Okay.

All right. Yeah. Sorry. We just made a mess of this. Here's 75 Ad who said, I couldn't tell Pippin and Mary from Lord of the Rings apart for some reason when I was younger. I'd have to remind myself that they're the opposite of who I think they are, which doesn't always work because sometimes I think right.

Which is the problem, isn't it? I have to say, every summer, I forget which cricketer is which in the Australian team. I mean, I kind of know the captain and the heroes, but, you know, cricket season comes around and you and our other friend Chris will be, you know, messaging and I'll be like, yeah, oh, yeah. I don't know which one that one is, you know. Just keeping kind of quiet.

Well, that's right. I sort of throw in my joking comments about 1980s players and things to sort of, you know, pretend to be. But I just, oh, yeah, I don't know. Which one's that one? Is that? Oh, yeah. Okay. All right.

Yep. Here's what Brady Gilg said. North and south are easy, but for the life of me, I can never remember which direction is east and which is west on a map. I always have to picture the USA and remember which is the west coast and which direction is east and which is west on a map i always have to picture the usa and remember which is the west coast and which is the east and like that's fair enough but what i found interesting was all the discussion after that comment from other commenters were people talking about how they tell which is east and which is west yes and a number of people said the way they do it is yeah i'm not sure which way it is on a map either. So I always have to imagine the Earth spinning in space.

And that's how I figure out what east and west is. And I'm impressed that there are people that can know which way the Earth is spinning in space. For me to figure out what way the Earth is spinning in space, I have to use my knowledge of what east and west is and figure out where the sun rises. So people are doing this two different ways. I found it very interesting. So did you have a little saying that you remembered? Yeah. Yeah. Never eat soggy Weet-Bix. That's right. Yeah. Of course. That was mine too. Yeah. Never eat soggy Weet-Bix.

In fact, Australian compasses, it's called never eat soggy and Weet-Bix. We don't have north, east, south and west. No, no, no, no no let's go wheat bix i suddenly realized that's an australian thing of course because wheat bix i know the uk has wheatabix is that right wheatabix yeah yeah i'd be interested to know what what happens in the u.s i have to say now i stop and think about it i if i stop and pause to think which way i picture the u.s as well i think the west, I picture the US as well. I think the West Coast and the East Coast as well. That's funny, rather than my own country. No, I use Australia, the Eastern States and Western Australia is how I would do it.

Oh, Western Australia. That's, you know, that's the more helpful way. Very good. Every day's a school day. Okay, I'm going to try and change what I instinctively and intuitively do in those moments. I'm going to try and have another reference point and see if it comes. You've got this far, Tim, just stick with what you've been doing. Another thing that we've been discussing on the show is what you and I would have been called by our parents if we were born as girls. And this led to a message from one

of our civilians that says the following. Dear fellas, I spent the afternoon in my workshop in upstate New York building a new storage wall for my tools and catching up on the last few episodes. Per your conversation about our alternate universe names, had we been born the opposite sex, Whoa. Yeah. Wow. I reckon the name is so strong that could even serve as my racing name, should the situation present itself. Warm regards to you both from Brady H. It's a Brady H even. Wow, there you go. I know why you read that out. Well done

man, that's great. I have met a woman called Brady. Really? That's great. Thanks everyone for engaging. Good stuff. Thank you for your engagement. Look at you with all the lingo. Engagement. Oh, yes, that's right. We've taken down that feedback from our stakeholders. Yeah, we'll circle back. If they hadn't already been named civilians, I reckon our listeners could easily have become stakeholders. Stakeholders. That would have been good. We've had another message from a stakeholder. The name of the game here is coming up with ideas for a podcast.

I'd like to share an idea with you for a podcast I've just had this morning. At last. Go for it. Yes. Finally, some meat. Yes. This idea is called raising money for a good cause. And basically each week we have a visitor or a guest who launches a fundraising campaign

and all the proceeds they manage to generate are then given to their favourite member of the Irish Celtic fusion pop band, The Cause. Raising money for a good cause. That's awesome. All right. You like that one? That's awesome.

Yeah, yeah. So, uh... I don't know which member of the band you'd want to raise money for as a fundraiser. I actually mentioned this idea to my wife, and she thought it was not a good idea. She thought it was unfair because she thought everyone would raise money for Andrea, the lead singer, because she's the prettiest. I'm not sure I agree on several counts, including I'm not sure I entirely agree that she's the prettiest. But, you know, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. How does she know she's a beauty?

I don't know. It depends. It depends. Because they are, let's face it, genetics was kind to this family. Yes. Particularly the one with the short hair and the beard and the glasses. Oh, no, hang on. That's her brother.

That's James. Even he's a good looking bloke. Come on, let's be honest. He is. brother that's james even he's a good looking bloke come on let's be honest he is so we've got andrea the lead singer and then caroline the drummer and sharon the violinist who look very similar to each other and then of course james who would you raise money for who who would be I, probably James, I think. I feel he may get left behind. I tell you, I mean, I don't think any of them are going to be short of a quid because they're a very successful band and I'm sure they're all multimillionaires.

But Andrea definitely doesn't need money because she's married to a billionaire. Wow. Yeah. Wow, that's, gosh, that just doesn't seem fair, does it really? money because she's married to a billionaire. Wow. Yeah. Wow. That's gosh. That just doesn't seem fair, does it really? I mean. No.

Not fair on who? Well, this guy's a billionaire and then he gets to marry Andrea Corr. I mean, that's just. I hope he's happy. Maybe he's not happy. It doesn't make you happy, you know. I hope he's not happy. So anyway, interestingly, though, I was I've been listening to a few Kaws songs this afternoon and having a bit of a dance in the kitchen.

Oh, nice. I love Kaws songs and they've got a lot of good songs, right? Yeah, they do. Breathless is my personal favourite. Really? No. No. I'm calling it.

That's too poppy. Because I've just got good memories of it. And I love the music video. Okay. All right. What's your favourite? Well, I like it when they're sounding more Irish. I like that first album a lot more.

Right. Yeah. Fair enough. Yeah. When there's lots of. Celtic fusion, I think, is the term you're supposed to use, Tim. Really? Or Celtic fusion. Celtic fusion. I think, is the term you're supposed to use, Tim. Really? Or Celtic fusion.

Celtic fusion, sorry. Yeah, I'm getting it. Celtic fusion. Yeah, yeah. I've always wanted to start a Celtic fusion band. But whenever the... When we say the violin, I think it might be the... Is it violin or the fiddle when it's Celtic music?

It's probably still violin. Is it too late for us to turn the Unmade podcast into a Celtic fusion podcast we could just just have some lovely um you know some irish pipes with a little bit of electronic work going on i'll see what i could find in the storyblocks archive and just run it in the background there hey look i was just looking on wikipedia through there they've got a whole bunch of albums that have come out that i've never heard of they must have like jupiter calling white light well tim i want to talk about one of their classic songs if i may all right all right

and that is the song i never really loved you anyway yes yes and i've got a bone to pick with that song yes yes it doesn't seem genuine to pick with that song. Yes, yes. It doesn't seem genuine to me because the song, in the song, she has essentially been discarded by her boyfriend. And now she's saying, oh, I never really loved you anyway. And I just don't buy it. I just think she's trying to save face. I never really loved you anyway.

Right, okay. It's like when you get dumped in high school and you're like, oh, I didn't want to be with them anyway. I never really loved you anyway. I'm glad it's over. My problem with the song is that I think it's one of those ones where you're trying to jam in too many words into one line. I never really loved you that much anyway.

I never really loved you anyway. It should be, I never really loved you that much anyway. I never really loved you anyway. It should be, I never really loved you. You know, they're jamming in too many words. I never really loved you anyway. Well, that's the Celtic way. Oh, okay. Yeah. That's the fusion.

Yeah. Fusing all the words together. The other thing, there's also a line in the song where she's saying she wants to talk to her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend To warn her that you're not a spender And I'm assuming she's saying he's tight with money And I don't like that I don't like that she's slagging him off for that. You know, maybe he's poor or he's careful with his money.

I don't think that's a fair criticism. You bored me with your stories. I can't believe that I endured you for as long as I did. I'm happy it's over. I'm only sorry that I didn't make. This is a pretty brutal song. I've never even noticed. Yeah, she's just trying to save face by dissing him.

But this you're not a spender thing, I think that makes her sound a little bit gold diggerish, which suddenly makes the fact she married a billionaire seem really more, like, pertinent all of a sudden. For a girl, I have a quiet word with her. Oh, that girl, does she know you're not a spender? Well, just have to say, just want to say, yeah, okay. That's what she's saying, isn't it?

Yeah, that's right. But it says a quiet word with that say, yeah, okay. That's what she's saying, isn't it? Yeah, that's right. But it says a quiet word with that girl, oh, that girl. So it's like he has left her for someone else. Yeah, yeah. But then she's saying, and, by the way, sister, he won't buy you anything. So, you know, like that does fit. Anyway, raising money for a good cause.

Watch out for it on a podcast player near you. Can I just say, look, I've got some other cause information that I've had backed up ready to share with someone for about 30 years. If now is not the moment, it will never be the moment. We have a whole cause podcast idea. I just wanted to ask, are we going to be coming back to the Cause in future episodes, man, or is now the time? No, now.

Now's definitely the time. The first song I heard from theirs was Runaway. And I remember thinking, oh, this is lovely, a Celtic band, and I love the Celtic music and all that kind of stuff, you know. And then I just happened to be watching an episode of Beverly Hills 90210 and suddenly they were on there performing and like in a bar somewhere. It was obviously like a cross promotional thing. Oh, really? And I suddenly realised, oh, this is like a manufactured thing.

You know what I mean? It suddenly felt not genuine and Irish and rootsy and lovely and rustic. It suddenly felt like, oh, this is a band that's been put together and overproduced. Oh, okay, that's a shame. So I always had this little, even though I quite liked that first album because I was boarding in someone's house who had that album, they played it all the time, and I really quite liked it.

I liked the more Irish-y bits of it. But I was always like, ah, but... And they're produced by David Foster, who's this super slick kind of producer who makes everything sound, you know, like, overly sheened. So, my... I have a problem. The further they push down the sort of... the line towards Breathless, the poppy stuff,

I didn't feel very comfortable with that. I would like them to have remained in their rustic roots. I never really loved you anyway. You OK now? You feeling good? It sounds like you're not going to raise money for any of the cause. I want to find the original cause. That's obviously not a serious podcast idea. I do have my proper podcast idea for today, by the way.

Oh, okay. I thought I was going to get a go. All right. All right. No. Wheel out another one. No. You can't just wheel out something and then at the end of it go, oh, okay, that wasn't as good as I thought.

Actually, here's my real idea. Well, I just thought you'd laugh at my pun and then we'd move on. I didn't know you had all this cause information to get off your chest. I've got... I actually think a podcast about the cause, just processing little critiquing bits and pieces of their lyrics and who they are, is a very fertile vein to follow, yes. I'd listen.

I'd listen for sure. Do you want to hear my real idea, though? Yeah, I do. All right. So my podcast idea for today, nothing to do with the cause. It's called Sprinkle My Ashes. Oh. And this is where guests come on and talk about where they would like to have their ashes dispersed after they pass away.

If they go for the cremation option, of course. Nice. I'm not going to call it, you know, dump my body. Sprinkle my ashes. Dump my body. Yeah, that's a whole different one. So, obviously, there is a great tradition of people like having their ashes sprinkled at places

that are of some meaning to them, significance. You must, you know, often... You're right there. Sorry, I just went... Sorry, you just got me into a lovely... Oh, yeah, sprinkle my ashes. I just got all very serious. Oh, this is a brilliant, rich idea.

And then I was a bit thrown by the body comment. Yeah, anyway, sorry, continue on. Tim, if you were to leave us tomorrow, heaven forbid, where should we sprinkle your ashes? Well, I'm more of a barrier than a cremation person. So that's just a caveat. I'm not avoiding the question. I'm just saying that there is a strong tradition of burial, which is in the Christian tradition. It's not a big feature, but it's just sort of something that's there. But I'm not opposed to the cremation

and I can see that it's a very valid way. And I guess my mind goes probably to the ocean, which is very common, I think, isn't it? Yeah, that appeals to me for some reason as well, although I can't claim any great links with the ocean. Neil Armstrong's ashes were deposited in the ocean. Right. But he was in the Navy at one point, so there's a bit more significance there for him. I can see you and my family finding your way to Tim and Brady Cave

and sprinkling them out over the ocean from the bump. Yeah. You'd have to be careful with the wind direction up there. It's a bit gusty. Yeah. And it's a fair height, but I think that might be a very appropriate place. Then you could podcast it, you see. Maybe we could go and just leave a little bit at different KFCs around Adelaide.

I'm sure they'd love that. Imagine that story getting out. Wherever we do it, I want to pour your ashes out of a KFCs around Adelaide. I'm sure they'd love that. Imagine that story getting out. Wherever we do it, I want to pour your ashes out of a KFC bucket. It's very appropriate because, quite frankly, that's the thing that'll have killed me in the end. This is the ultimate. He actually ends up in the bucket, like he is the bucket. It's just the perfect circle of life.

What about you, man? What about you? Have you thought about some? The sea does appeal. Obviously, I would love the moon. There is one person who has had some of their ashes deposited on the moon. Really? There was an astronomer called Gene Shoemaker,

who was a co-discoverer of a famous comet called Shoemaker-Levy 9, which is the one that plummeted into Jupiter all those years ago, actually. And Gene Shoemaker died in Australia, interestingly enough. He died in a car accident in Australia while he was exploring craters in the outback. And they put a small amount of his ashes, not much of them, onto a lunar probe called the Lunar Prospector, which orbited around the moon doing imaging. And then when its life was finished, they crashed into the moon and his ashes were on

it when it crashed into the moon. So it's kind of, you know, some of his ashes are there on the moon among the debris of the Lunar Prospector probe. Oh, wow. Okay. So you said he discovered an asteroid that crashed into Jupiter. A comet, yeah. He was a co-discoverer of a comet.

It was called Shoemaker-Levy. Levy was the other discoverer. And the comet actually then broke into fragments as it got ripped to pieces by tidal gravitational forces. And then it got sort of sucked into Jupiter. It got attracted to Jupiter's gravity. So everyone knew this was going to happen, and no one had ever seen a comet hit a planet before, so this was incredibly exciting.

Well, fascinating. I wonder if that's the theme of the Corps' recent album, Jupiter Calling. I wonder if... It could be. The Corps' callbacks continue. They do. recent album, Jupiter Calling. It could be. The callers' callbacks continue. They do. They've got a song here, song nine, Hit My Ground Running.

There you go. Wow. Number 13, The Sun and the Moon. Yeah. Although number five is called Butter Flutter, and I don't think that's related. They're a bit off track there. It should have been a B-side. Getting back to ashes.

Sorry, yes, yes. Let me read you this. Frederick Boer, the man who invented the tubular-shaped Pringles can, is now buried in one. His family bought a can of Pringles and took it to the funeral home so that some of his ashes could be sealed in it. And I love this quote. My siblings and I briefly debated what flavour to use, son Larry57 said at the time.

But I said, look, we need to use the original. And rightly so. The voice of common sense. Couldn't be salt and vinegar. That just would be inappropriate. Oh, that's great. There are a few examples of people who have had their ashes consumed by their friends in the form of drugs, which is all a bit weird.

Wow. But I like this one. Marvel comic book editor Mark Grunewald died unexpectedly of a heart attack aged 42 in 1996, but he had already been very clear about his final wishes. He wanted some of his ashes mixed with ink and made into a comic book, which then did happen. Yeah.

And I like this one as well. Before his death, aged 81 in 2013, great train robber Bruce Reynolds asked his son to scatter some of his ashes at the Valley of the Kings in Egypt. Yeah, nice. That's a cool one. I wouldn't mind having my ashes scattered in the Valley of the Kings in Egypt. Yeah, nice. That's a cool one. I wouldn't mind having my ashes scattered in the Valley of the Kings. That's pretty cool.

Yeah. Valley of the Kings is awesome. All right. I'll put you there. I'd be all right with that. I wonder if there are places where it's illegal, where people have requested and it's like behind the speaker's chair in, you know, the House of Commons in Westminster. I don't think you can do that i was at uh i was at stonehenge recently as we discussed and i was told a lot of people have their ashes

secretly deposited at stonehenge which isn't allowed and they then have to clean up it's not it's not allowed but they um people sneakily do it sneaky sneaky thinking about the comic book and the pringles one i'm wondering if if, you know, if you were to die and I wanted to still kind of keep your spirit in my podcasting, how I could do that, whether I could, like, embed some of your ashes here into my microphone or something like that. It's hard to smuggle them into a podcast, isn't it? But into your microphone.

So you're talking to me the whole time, forever. Yeah, yeah. That's a nice idea. You like the thought of that, do you? Do that. Yeah. Nice. Because the Yeti mics we use are sort of nicely shaped.

They've got an urn-like sort of shape to them. Yeah, okay. I think that's a good idea. All right. All right. I'll keep that in mind. Any more sprinkling of the ashes ideas anywhere else i thought you might choose somewhere kind of music oriented you know well it all feels

very temper i mean what are you going to do if you're an elvis fan you go to memphis is that right is that what you mean or you're a beatles fan you go to liverpool i don't really have a place that's associated in in that kind of way i guess I could scatter your ashes at the Marion Shopping Centre. Well. That's kind of like your spiritual home. It was a couple of musical moments there. I met Melissa Trowks, the pop artist from the early 90s, from E Street.

Yeah, she was there. The guys from Southern Sons, they played there one night, Jack Jones and Phil Buckle. Southern Sons, you remember Southern Sons? God. It's nice, actually, because Jack Jones from Southern Sons comes from Turalgon. So I mentioned that point, that I too was from Turalgon,

and we had sort of a knowing look, you know, like, hey, hey, yep. I think he saw me as an equal in that moment. Right. On that note, on that note uh a special bond between tim and jack jones from southern suns let's move on we have a new sponsor and i think we've made it now yes in the world of influencing and advertising because i don't think you're legit until you've got like a clothing deal. No.

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Because I was like, it's wearing something different around the house. But I tell you. Did they think, Dad, you're such a rugged outdoorsman. You look amazing. It's the comfiest thing I think I've ever put on. And I'm being totally serious. Absolutely. Absolutely comfortable. Leg comfortable legit this stuff's good i'll just quickly say the musk ox name does come from the animal the musk ox which is fascinating and you'll learn loads about it on their website

i will warn you you will go down the musk ox rabbit hole and spend the next two or three hours of reading about this incredible animal maybe we'll talk about it in a later episode. But they have got this kind of deal or association with the Alaska Wildlife Conservation Center, so that for every $100 purchase that's made from muskox, $10 is donated to wildlife conservation. So this is clothing with a heart as well, people. Not only are you going to wear great stuff, it's for a good cause, not the band cause. That's not token. 10 bucks out of every 100 bucks. I tell you what, that's serious contribution. I like that. In fact, I'm beginning to think that's a mistake. I've got to talk to Brad. He's going to be taking a big hit on that. So anyway, not only that, but you're also going to get 15% off your purchase by going to the

website and using our code unmade. So here, here, I'm going to give you the website. It's go musk ox.com. Go musk ox.com. And then use the code unmade for 15% off. And also I'm going to say it one more time.

Cause I promised Brad, I'd say the name three times. Go musk ox.com. Use the code unmade. Seriously. Use the code UNMADE. Seriously, just go and have a look. Just go and have a look. And if you're not impressed, fine. No, absolutely.

It's good. It's warm. It's super comfy. I like that it's affordable. I like that it's ethical. I love it. I think they're on a winner. I think it's the next big thing.

And they've got some great... Hang on. Sorry. That's the Cause website still up. Oh got some great... Hang on. Sorry, that's the Coors website still up. Oh, muskox. Okay, sorry. They've got some great models wearing their stuff. Lovely Irish colours.

Yeah? Yep. No, it's... Are you ready, Tim? It's time for Here It Comes. Are you ready? Yes, I'm ready. I'm ready.

Spilled on the screen at the moment uh there'll be a link in the notes if you want to go and have a look here's the message that came with it. This is from Joe. Hi, Brady and Tim. Listening to Sofa Shop remixes every week has filled me with creative inspiration, but seeing that I'm not musically talented, I channel that energy into a drawing. Attached is a drawing I made called Tim Hine, Patron Saint of Souvenir Spoons, a loving homage to my favorite podcast segment as well as a celebration of all things tim the drawing itself depicts the following references

fanta shorts the shroud of tim two-piece feed the band tim's astonishing guitar prowess the swimming medal fried chicken the sofa shop and as at the time of drawing All 19 of the featured spoons In Spoon of the Week I hope you like it, keep up the good work From Joe This is impressive work I tell you Really impressive Do you feel flattered by it or insulted by it

In terms of the likeness itself Obviously you're flattered that someone would do it I'm flattered Yes. Yes, gosh. Yes. I'm not saying I could play guitar in the cause, but I'm saying this looks pretty good. I think it errs on the flattering side. It definitely makes you look a little bit more chiselled than you are in reality. I think there is a more pointy chin. Yeah.

That's right. Which is, I think, Kirk Douglas-like. Kirk Douglas. It is a bit Kirk Douglas. The glasses are a bit thicker than your actual glasses too, I would say. They're a bit chunkier than what I would associate with you. Yes, that's right. Yeah, they're a little bit chunkier.

But maybe he's looking forward to my next frames. You know what I mean? Now that we've exhausted all the detas around the world, there will come a time and I'll maybe use this. I'll take this with me down to the optometrist and say, oh, let's have a look. Does this one make my chin look pointy? Well, go and have a look at the picture if you want to see what future Tim may look like. In the meantime, Tim, what is today's Spoon of the Week? You haven't sent me a preview. I have no idea what's coming. Oh, do you want me to send it to you or you want me to just go with it?

Why don't you just tell me and I'll picture it in my mind? Well, Brady, today's Spoon of the Week is a beautiful, dainty, very minimalist and yet quite classy spoon from Holland. Holland. Yes, the Netherlands. It has a Dutch flag, flag of the Netherlands at the top, and then it goes down a very short stem. This is a very small spoon, which is quite plain, except it has the sort of imitation rope of the flag.

So it sort of looks very much like a little flag post, flagpole, down to the scoopy bit. And the scoopy bit is perfectly round, which is very unusual. And inside, it essentially says Beatrix of the Netherlands, which is Queen Beatrix. And it's written in Dutch and in very faint writing. You turn it over, though, and it's got this sort of nice, quite modern, one-cent patchwork sort of thing going on. Now, listen, there's a bit of confusion. Would you like me now to send you a photo? You have to.

You have to because I want to see if the reality matches the incredibly detailed portrait you have painted with my neurons. All right, here it comes. While I wait for it to arrive, Tim, tell me, is there a reason your family would have this? Does your father have any connection with the Netherlands by chance? I believe he did spend some time there from birth onwards. Yes. He, look.

Oh, that is not what I expected. Yeah. No, it is. There is a mystery attached to this particular spoon because, look, we went to the Netherlands on holiday in 1980. Yes. And we spent six months there, actually. Yes.

When I was a kid. But, and so I would have thought, oh, we came back with all, like, ridiculous amount of Dutch paraphernalia, right? So I would have, my initial thought was, this is obviously a spoon they bought when they were over there. However. On closer inspection on the back of this spoon, it says 1982. Oh. And that doesn't add up.

Oh. I don't understand. Something's going on here. Either this was a spoon from the future that we happened to buy in Holland in 1980, or it's a spoon they bought afterwards or was sent to us two years later. Very peculiar. I really am perplexed. I remember this spoon. I remember it being sort of, you know, part of the collection because it used to sit a little bit differently because of its slender size on the rack.

It's really quite unique and very beautiful, but I don't know why they would have suddenly got a Dutch souvenir spoon two years after we had returned from the Netherlands. Can I just say, if there was a calculation one could do for the number of years ago something happened multiplied by the number of times you have told me the story and that gave you a number, there is no incident that would score a higher number

than that holiday that you went on to the Netherlands in 1980? Because I've heard about that so many times and it happened so long ago. Well, it's kind of when you're a kid and you go live somewhere for six months, I guess it dominates your early childhood. I can't remember anything before then. Yeah.

But I remember heaps of details about that. And I guess after that, it was just sort of, you know, back to sort of bland suburban life in Australia. And it all kind of blurs in from there on as well. Did you come back with one of those faux Dutch accents like people do when they live somewhere for six months and like pick up the accent? Oh, I lived in England for six months and now I have an English accent. Did you give it some of that? I kept talking to my, you know, primary school friends about, you know, flipping over to Berlin for the weekend and things like that, you know, clubbing in the underground scene in Germany.

Actually, I think I have figured out maybe the mystery of this year. If you look a bit more closely, maybe it says 1882 and your dad bought it, you know, when he was a teenager queen beatrix wasn't there then but it would it would add up from from an age point of view i have to say i actually did come i did come back i did come back speaking dutch. Mum says I learned Dutch when I was over there. I have no real memory of that, really. But you know what kids are like when they're little. They pick up things and then forget them.

Yeah. Do you like the spoon from an artistic design point of view? What do you think of the spoon? I think it breaks all the rules and not in a good way. Tim didn't really explain this, but normally the spoons we have are quite symmetrical. And at the top, there's like an enamel bit at the top of the handle but this is kind of offset it kind of is like a flag flying off to the side of the handle and like tim said the handle is the flagpole so it looks like just like a metal flag i'm not digging it i'm not digging it and the scoopy

bit is weird it is weird it's like weird. It's not like elliptical. It's properly a circle. I wonder if this is a certain type of spoon. I'm imagining this is for scooping sugar out of a sugar bowl. Only a very little bit of sugar. I like that you may not pick this up from the photo because it's just sitting on the bench, but it's tiny. It's much smaller, shorter than a pen, shorter than other spoons. Okay.

And that gives it a elegant feel okay in real life i'm sure in real life it's far more impressive like you know yeah you have to see it in real life i'll take your word for it now each week when we do spoon of the week we also give away an unmade podcast souvenir spoon these are much sought after and it goes to a patreon supporter tim how are we going to choose this one? What random method would you like to use? Is there something quintessentially Dutch we could do? Well, I guess we could do the cheese. I could rummage through the Gouda and see if I can find a particular piece. This one's a bit heavy. What sound effect am I using for pieces

of cheese rubbing together? I don't even know what to do. Well, you could use, you could buy a whole bunch of cheese and just rummage it around the table and record it. Okay, so Tim, pick out a piece of cheese and let's see what name is written on it. All right. Oh, this is looking nice. That one? What's that say?

Oh, look, it says carved into that piece of cheese is the name Rob from Macclesfield in England. Rob from Macclesfield in England, Patreon supporter and now proud owner of a Unmade Podcast spoon. Oh, wow. Very exciting. Get yourself some gouda to celebrate, Rob. Yeah. Can I say I do have a short anecdote to share that's occurred recently regarding the spoons?

Yeah. I know that you have been encouraging me to make sure that I keep all the spoons of the week in a special box, in a special place. Yes. I've been doing that in a default kind of way. In other words, going, oh, yeah, no, they're in my bag. They'll be fine. Yeah, that sounds like team organization they are they're in the bag and i thought and but then at at my church office i have like a special table where all the spoons are in a nice tupperware container

and i'd say i generally pull them out and i put them in there so i assume they're in the in the mix of all the other spoons because i think they like to be together and i know you said put them in a separate yeah i want the ones that have been featured to be segregated from the mother load because I want them like photographed and displayed and you know potentially sent to like you know the National Museum of Australia and stuff like that well yes but I'm not in favor of segregation I think historically that's frowned upon so I really wanted to keep the spoons all together. So assuming they're all there and anyway, the other day you were really quite insistent upon this and I'm like, alright, I'll engage in some segregation. So I

went through the spoons, just pulling them out, the ones that I knew from Spoon of the Week. And that was fun in itself, I must say, because there's still a lot of spoons to go. Because I was like, oh, that one's new that one's new. Ah, there you are lot of spoons to go. Because it was like, oh, that one's new, that one's new. Ah, there you are. And put that aside. And so it was interesting how many I was able to remember just on site. And it took me back. Then there was a few I was going, oh, hang on a sec.

This is not quite the right number. So I then opened up the website and was flicking through. What have I missed? What have I missed? What have I missed? And I was like, oh, hello. Started to feel a little bit nervous. then i then i got all the spoons out i got all the spoons out on the table in my office and i laid them out perfectly and went line by line by line by line and then started to feel the dread of brady in the back of my mind so i'm already angry. Lying by.

I knew this would happen. I knew it. So there were. And I could just hear you saying, I knew this would happen. I was two spoons short. And I'm like. That's how I often describe you. My mate Tim is two spoons short of a cutlery drawer. and describe you, my mate Tim, he's two spoons short of a cutlery drawer.

But look, I had nothing to fear because on the one hand, firstly, the bag, secondly, home, thirdly, another whole office. So I'm like, it's got to be in one of those places. Firstly, I checked the bag. Unfortunately, I've bought a new bag. I've bought a new crumpler backpack and And so I actually had emptied that out. So it was not in there, which is a bit of a shame. So I then went home and searched.

And searching around home, I managed to find one of them, which was the Ayers Rock spoon. And it was sitting on a special shelf where I've got a couple of gifts and things like that just sitting at home that were nice. But the one that was missing is the Singapore spoon. Right. And I'm like, well, this is in some ways the loudest spoon. You know what I mean? It's like green.

It's got all sorts of action happening. So I asked the family and I went and checked the other office, the academic office, nowhere to be found. I then, oh, man, I'm starting to really feel the Brady dread now. So I then, oh man, I'm starting to really feel the Brady dread now. So I then emailed, I got the photo from it and I emailed it around the entire faculty and all the employees who work at this particular building saying, look, I know this sounds ridiculous but I've lost a spoon. And

there were quite a few jokes made, but no spoon. I even had one, the receptionist, very kindly saying, because of COVID, a lot of our cutlery has been put away. People have to use plastic and stuff. So she said, would you like me to go and check the storeroom with all the other cutlery? I said, yes, please. She went out to the storeroom, went through it, came back,

absolutely nothing. I can't find it at home. I can't find it at home. I can't find it at work. I've asked the cleaners in both places and I've come up nothing. I don't know where the Singapore spoon is. So thinking I've got to fix this before I tell Brady about it. I did something that was a bit of a last resort. I went online.

You were going to buy another one. I went online and I... You were going to buy another one. This is the open-ended sort of idea of I found myself Googling Singapore souvenir spoon. And let me... Oh, God. And if there's ever been a Pandora's box that's been opened, it's the Googling of souvenir spoon, Singapore souvenir spoon.

Yeah. So anyway, but I'm browsing through, browsing through going, this is terrible. This is, well, we've had a good run. This friendship's, you know, been enjoyable. Well, it lasted, but it's going to come to a sad demise. You've got one job on the podcast. Look after the spoon. It's all you've got to do.

I don't even ask you to have good ideas. Anyway, as I'm flicked browsing through, browsing through, browsing through, suddenly I saw it. The spoon. So I zeroed in, I went to the page and sure enough, there's someone on eBay selling the exact same spoon. And I'm like, is this the exact same spoon? It can't be. I'm looking at the twirly bits and the details and so forth. It's the exact same spoon. So I just bought it on the spot. I just bought it.

500 bucks. Let me tell you, best $7 I've ever spent in my life. I was like, I'm not even going to keep looking. I'm just going to buy this one. And then if I find the other one, I don't care. Bang. So it arrived yesterday. Yeah. just going to buy this one. And then if I find the other one, I don't care. Bang. So it arrived yesterday. And look, it's beautiful. It's beautiful. It's

even better than the original spoon, whose ashes have been sprinkled somewhere. I don't know where they are. I don't know how I feel about having a replacement stunt spoon, but it's like a body double spoon. Well, this is, I just the original spoon is, it's got to be somewhere. It's got to be somewhere. I don't know. I don't know. I've went in my office and under the desk. I've been around the house and ask. And I tell you, if I ask the family one more time, has anyone seen that Singapore spoon?

I'm going to be asked to leave. All right. Well, okay. I have a full compliment, but it's an even more special stand-in replacement spoon. All right. Well, I will accept it if it's an exact replica, but I still want the original found. Do not give up. I will.

I do feel a bit better about it. It's like I'm glad I didn't lose one of the old ones. You know, this is a little bit more recent, the Singapore one. And so it's sort of newish anyway. And I'm just thinking maybe it didn't fit the collection anyway. And, you know, maybe that this one that I've bought has a better story attached to it. So maybe it's – so what I'm trying to say is it's, maybe it was a good thing then.

Would you be willing to admit that it was a good thing that this happened? No. I'm a little bit disappointed. I'm a little bit disappointed. But I admire what you did. You showed initiative. It's a little bit deceptive, but you also came clean about it. Yes, yes. I kept quiet until I.

I was like the original found. We do, of course, have pictures of the original, but yeah. That was like a Raiders of the Lost Ark. That was, it was an amazing adventure. Oh, I'm so exhausted. I've been so stressed. I couldn't get that off my chest. The Sofa Shop is your only stop for the sofa you need.

The Sofa Shop, yeah, come and drop in on Halifax Street. We have a sofa designed for you. Choose your fabric, match your curtains too. The Sofa Shop ain't gonna cost what you think it will Don't you do a thing until you see the sofa shop Alright, now we're back to the sofa shop. The sofa shop, you all know it, the advertising jingle from Adelaide, 1980s, people have been covering it and all sorts. Now recently we said, wouldn't it be fun to have it played on Big Ben?

Obviously, that's a silly thing to have said. But we have a message here from Martin. This is what Martin says. Hi, Tim and Brady. In the most recent episode of the podcast, Tim mentioned the goal of hearing Big Ben perform the Sofa Shop jingle. I know it's not quite the real thing, but here's an attempt based on sampling the Big Ben chimes and playing back a variation on the Sofa Shop melody.

Hopefully this will help sustain you until the real thing can be arranged. Best wishes, Martin. © BF-WATCH TV 2021 A. That's impressive, I must say. I like it. What role does he have at the Tower of London there? What's his... Do you know how... Do you know, in my head, when I listen to it, like, because you know how it starts off with the real Big Ben chime

and then it goes into the jaunty sofa shop? I imagine looking at, you know, the tower with the clock there and it's all serious and sombre doing that first part. And then when it transitions to the sofa shop, suddenly a big smiley face comes on the clock face. It's just a little dance. Like on a kid's TV show or something. That's just how it looks in my head.

Yeah, nice. It does have a lovely austere look, the tower, doesn't it, with Big Ben? And, yeah, that's nice. It suddenly breaks out into party time. Party time. Now, but we have something even more impressive now now you'll remember two episodes ago someone named Derek got in touch and Derek had arranged for the sofa shop to be played on the big carillon bell tower at the University of Florida.

And that was impressive. I mean, we handed out colonel ships. That's how impressive it was. That's true. We don't hand them out willy-nilly. No. So, we have had another message. And unbelievably, this is also from someone called Derek, but it's a different Derek. And here's what the message says.

I've just listened to the most recent episode of the podcast and my name is also Derek. I'm a bassoonist. Whoa. And I also happen to have a friend, Michael, who is part of the Yale Guild of Carilloners, a group of students who are good enough to play the carillon. On short notice for his weekly ring,

he was kind enough to sight-read the other Derricks' arrangement of the piece, though he added some of his own flair, as you will hear. This rendition was performed on Yale University's Harkness Tower, slightly taller than the Century Tower in Florida, but it has fewer bells. Perhaps instead of Westminster Quarters to mark the times, all bell towers could transition to playing lines of the sofa shop jingle as well. I love the show and will forever kick myself for not thinking of doing this before the other Derek. Best wishes, Derek K.

So here it is. No offence to the University of Florida, but Tim, the sofa shop has gone Ivy League, here it is Yale University Thank you. There you go. And look, I don't want to create rivalry here. And original Derek will always be the winner because he did it first. Yes. And for that reason, the University of Florida will always have a special place in our hearts.

But I would say that was a slightly better rendition. Yes, I think that was the execution That's lovely I mean, you know But let me say There are plenty of other universities out there So if anyone else wants to Throw their hat in the ring

Can I say, more than that There's plenty of other Derricks out there as well I mean How many Derricks in college Across America at the moment? Yeah, with access to carillon bells. It's amazing. That's right.

So if any of you other Ivy League universities want to feel a bit competitive, what about all you people at Harvard, Princeton, Columbia, Brown, Dartmouth? Absolutely. University of Pennsylvania? That's impressive. And look, we can't leave the UK out of this, I mean, as well. I mean, there's some very beautiful, I don't know if they have carolins or if they call them that or something different at Oxford and Cambridge.

Do you know what you're forgetting? I don't know how familiar you are with Canberra, but, of course, next to Lake Burley Griffin in our nation's capital, there is a huge national caroline tower. Yes, of course. How could I have forgotten the carillon tower? It's quite a Canberra landmark, you know. Let me have a look at it.

I don't remember. It's a big deal. I remember. Carillon National... Oh, right. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's probably not obvious when you look at it that it is a carillon tower to

everyone who just sees it next to the lake, but... Yeah. It's kind when you look at it that it is a carillon tower to everyone who just sees it next to the lake. But, you know, it's kind of a thing. I would have learnt about that on our special trip to Canberra when I was in grade six. It's all primary school children in Australia. There you go. If we can get the sofa shop played on the national carillon in Canberra. In our nation's capital.

That would be incredible. A public holiday would be declared, I'm sure. Very impressive. Imagine all the carolins of all the colleges across America all playing at the same time. All of America ringing out one giant song. That's an incredible thought experiment. You'd probably hear that on the moon. Then we would all be one.

It would heal America. It would breathe America. It would bring America. It's like, you know, when they say, what would happen if everyone in the world jumped at once and all landed at once? What would the effect on the earth be? Yes. What would be the effect if every caroling bell in the world

played the sofa shop at once? Maybe it would hit some perfect, like, natural resonance and the earth would explode. Or the sofa shop would come back into being the owner of the sofa shop will be sitting at home and suddenly something in his heart would go oh must open again i hear the bells calling brilliant it would be like that do you remember in the 1980s i think they did like a hands across America thing. You know, when they linked hands. It would be like hands across America, wouldn't it? Sofa shop bells across the world. Make it happen, people.

All the Derricks all need to get together and make this happen. And the Derricks across America. That's right. That's awesome. Love it. Love it. Love it. Then finally, finally then, man, they would be the United States of America. This episode has once again been brought to you by Storyblocks. Like, I love Storyblocks, right? But you often use these occasions to try my knowledge on things, which, of course, I pretend to miss a few answers, you know, just to help the joking of the show and so forth.

But a few others have contacted me saying that they've gone through and got 10 out of 10 on some of these different quizzes associated with Storyblocks. Are we doing another one of those today? We are. Right. But before we do, maybe we should tell people what Storyblocks is. Is that all right? This people what Storyblocks is. Is that all right? I'm sure.

This is what Storyblocks is. It is an online library of stock video. They also have images and audio that for a monthly fee, you have complete access to to use in all your creations, your videos, your podcasts, your newsletters, whatever you're doing, royalty free. It's fantastic. It's a huge library.

I use it all the time. It's become an essential part of my day-to-day working. You know, oh, I need a sound effect. Oh, I need an image of this. Oh, I need a bit of video. Straight to Storyblocks, I always find what I need and can insert it. Fantastic service. it. Fantastic service. Now, one of the ways that we like to showcase just how fantastic Storyblocks is, as Tim alluded to, is I make little quizzes and challenges for him. And I've done it again

today. As usual, there'll be links if you want to go and do the challenge before Tim does to avoid spoilers, or you can just listen along as he does it. Now, Tim, what I've done today is because we've been talking about planets and things like that, and there's also Mars has been in the news a bit lately, I have made a planets challenge. Oh, no. I search... Yep.

I search... Can I choose another category? I searched storyblocks for images, videos depicting the planets. Not actual, like, pictures, but, you know, graphic representations and videos and things they've made. And they have loads of this on Storyblocks. I've put them together into a video. I'm going to show you a series of clips, each five seconds, all back to back.

And I just want you to tell me what each planet is as you look at them. Easy, hey? Am I allowed to have a list of the planets in front of me? No. No. I want total shame. I promise next time we'll do famous theologians. But for now, we're doing planets.

I'm going to send you a link. So as you go through them, tell me what you see, what it looks like. And if you can name the planet, name the planet. And if you can't, there's no shame in that. You're not a space guy. You never have been. Yeah, and you never will be. Tell me when you're starting and I'll keep score.

All right. All right. Here we go. All right. On your marks, I'll keep score. All right. All right. Here we go. All right. On your marks, get set, go. All right. There's one spinning.

It looks like the moon, but it's a long way away. So I'm going to say Uranus. There's another one here that's kind of yellowy. Number two, I'm going to say Mercury. This one looks a lot like the Earth. Number three. So I'm going to go with the Earth. Hey, maybe these are in order because I think the earth is uh this is mars maybe it's mars because i think that's the next one out then there's it with lots of moons so maybe that's

uh another one that's out there saturn i know saturn because there's the rings uh and there's uh well hang on a second This one's got rings too. Number seven. That's got to be Saturn and pretend Saturn. This one's... I'm going to say Jupiter because it's got that big eye, even though it seems very blue in this picture. That's a dog called Pluto at Disneyland. Number nine.

All right. So... Oh, man. That's, again, exhort... It's a very stressful episode. All right. So. Oh, man, that's, again, exhort. It's a very stressful episode. I tell you what. Yes. You're impressive. I was a bit of a sneaky there, and I did put the planets in order, which you cottoned on to.

Unfortunately, you just don't know the order of the planets. No, that's right. Except that I know that Earth is third. That's right. No, that's right. Except that I know that Earth is third. Yeah. That's right.

So, indeed, it was Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars. Jupiter was the one with the moons. Saturn, you got correct. Uranus or Uranus was also with the ring. Okay. Neptune was the one with the spot. Because Neptune also has this sort of blue, blue, famous blue spot. And, yes, Pluto was last. And I did just use the dog from Disneyland instead of the planet and if you think

Pluto was not a planet please do send an email to I won't answer this at gmail.com um that's the one thing I know about the planets is that there is some can it's contested as to sometimes it's a planet, sometimes it's not. Indeed. Anyway, just quickly getting back to our sponsor. Those, all that footage was from Storyblocks. If you were doing a video or a film about planets and you wanted all of this stuff, you could just go to Storyblocks, download it in seconds. They have hundreds more like it and And put it into your creation.

And it's not just planets. They've got everything. Storyblocks.com slash unmade. Use that slash unmade so they know you came from here. Storyblocks.com slash unmade. And we'll be back again with another Storyblocks challenge very soon. Here's something to store away that everyone will have after this episode. If they ever get posed the question,

which planet has a Cause album named after it? Jupiter Rising. There we go. Nice one. Store it away, folks. See what you get from this podcast? Who else would tell you that? Who else?

Yep. Hopefully no one. Your old pals all right tim do you have an idea for a podcast it's about time i ask that as we're well over an hour into the episode yes that's right which you would have thought was enough time for me to think of something however However, no, I do have an idea. This is an idea. It's got all sorts of possibilities, but I think it's a really intriguing subject.

This is called The Clown Podcast. A podcast about clowns. Can I just say, well-named. The Clown Podcast about clowns. I can't believe you just did that. Let me explain what I mean by this abstract. Yeah. I could have called it Bozo's podcast or something, couldn't I?

But the big foot, the big clown shoe. Anyway, no. Look, I think clowns are a fascinating topic. Yes. They are peculiar, aren't they? This big, exaggerated kind of person, which apparently kids find really funny and enlightening, they've been around forever. They're ancient. They go way back. Surely there's people that work as clowns.

There's clowning as a whole sort of profession. You can study clowning, like at university and so forth. They're peculiar. Clowns are infinitely... You're right. I think you could interview, you could have Clown of the Week being interviewed. Clown of the Week? Yes! I know there are some people who are very scared of clowns. Where do you stand on clowns? Yes. I just generally find them pretty annoying are very scared of clowns. Where do you stand on clowns, Tim? Yes. I just generally find them pretty annoying, but I'm not scared.

So you're not the man to make this podcast, clearly. No. No, I'm not. They all kind of look the same, but the whole point is that they look different. But there is a strange, sinister feel to some clowns as well, isn't there? Yeah. I can totally see why people find them scary. It doesn't take much to tweak the makeup and make them... The Joker, I guess, is the whole classic side of that as well. And the one in Stephen King's It. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just googling clowns,

you're looking through a whole bunch of them. They're pretty scary, actually. There's more of a Halloween sort of clown than a happy-go-lucky one. But what about you? Have you got any- I like them. I like clowns. Have you had any experiences with clowns?

I have got a clown experience to share. And that is, a few years ago, for New Year's Eve, I went to the Moulin Rouge in Paris, which was a great way to spend New Year's Eve. It's a great night. And they have, you know, they have all the dancers and the acts and that. But they have lots of variety acts as well. Like there's a woman who comes and, you know, dances with a big snake and gets in a big water tank and all that kind of stuff. And there is a clown that comes out between acts sometimes and just does funny things, you know, like most, like a lot of clowns. He doesn't talk. He sort of is a mime and stuff like that, but he's very good. And for his like main performance, he does this funny thing where

he gets two gentlemen from the audience and a woman from the audience and like creates this kind of funny love story and kind of, you know jokes and funny things with these you know these poor unwitting souls from the audience and the night we were there he took my wife from the audience and put her up on stage and she was like the centerpiece of this comic performance which i absolutely loved not just because i could say my wife performed on stage at the moulin rouge, but I just thought it was the funnest thing ever. And, you know, she was a good sport and went along with it. And she was absolutely mortified and hated it. And even to this day, years later, when I say how much I liked it and what a great night it was and how well she did, she won't let me talk about it.

She says, be quiet. I don't want to talk about it she says be quiet i don't want to talk about it i don't want to think about it and i'm never even allowed to talk about the fact she was up on stage with the clown at the moulin rouge but it was fantastic i absolutely loved it she absolutely hated it did she have a predisposition against clowns beforehand or is it or just french clown i don't know i don't know if she has a positionisposition against clowns beforehand or is it or just French clowns? I don't know. I don't know if she has a position on le clowns. But I don't think she's anti-clown.

I don't know. She probably is because she doesn't like like silliness. That's why she doesn't listen to the Unmade podcast. But yes. A couple of clowns. The ultimate clowns. But yeah, so that was a good clown memory for me. But I'm pretty pro-clown.

Right. You don't believe they should be, you know, rounded up, segregated? No, they're good. They're good. And I like the idea of a clown podcast. Can I say, like, well, let me ask you this question first. Have you ever dressed up as a clown? Have you ever been a clown?

I don't think I have. I don't think. Not in your memory. Not in memory. But you never know what you might remember later. What about you? In my early teens, I was part of a drama group. And for a while, we did some, there was some clowning that occurred and we and and so we

had to sort of and they had you had to discover your clown were you all pretentious and like were you all like trying to find your inner you know well it was it was like i was a young teenager so it wasn't it was it was too sort of fun and stuff to be pretentious you know what i mean there may have been a little bit of that going on but it wasn't like it was you know skivvies and tights and berets drama it was you know what i mean like it was have been a little bit of that going on, but it wasn't like it was, you know, skivvies and tights and berets. Okay. You know what I mean? Like it was more playful than that. But they did, the way they worked it out is you're supposed to just walk

around the room and they go, oh, look, you exaggerate that, you know, leg to the side with your walk. And so then you have to really exaggerate it. So they sort of take your features and exaggerate them. And then you have to come up with a name. Yeah. Would you like to know what my clown name was? No, I don't think so.

Let's move on to the next. No, of course I do. We know my alternative universe girl name. Yeah. And I also have a clown name. Yeah. And I was quite proud of my clown name, to be honest. My clown name was Omelette. My clown name was Omelette.

Omelette. Omelette. Do you like that? Do you know what? I do. I think that's good. I was very proud of it. Yeah.

Yep. Nice. I'm not proud of the whole clowning period of my life, but I am proud of the name. How would you have described Omelette? What was Omelette, unique selling point? What was your thing? Well, oh, look, I don't think, because I didn't have any real abilities at all. Like, I can't juggle or be wacky and funny or anything.

Like, there wasn't any actual, like, I didn't go to kids' parties or anything. It was just sort of, you know, at the place. And I think I just sort of was a guy with called omelette with you know some pants with spots on it really i think that's pants with spots nice i never got to have the thing that's the most fun part of being a clown and that's the the giant shoes i always think the giant the giant shoes are really awesome no the red nose is the best part about being a clown. Oh, that's the classic part, I guess. Yeah.

Why did you choose the name Omelette? It just came to me, and I remember exactly where I was. I was standing there, and the group was there, and they're going, think of a name, and they were suggesting things, you know, and they were sort of playing on my name a bit, you know, like Timbo or something like that. Yeah, I thought Timbo. Timzo.

Timzo the something like that. Yeah, I thought Timbo. Timzo. Timzo. Yeah. But I thought of Omelette and I just said it and they went, that's good. That's good. And I felt, and when you're a kid, you know, when any group says good idea, you feel pretty good about yourself. Yeah, yeah. No, I'm impressed.

Even today I'm impressed. Oh, there you go. I think, let's throw down the challenge to all the civilians. Get in touch with us and tell us what your clown name would be can you top omelette so there you go i was a very happy clown like i was you know not one of these sort of joker clowns it wasn't like there was this other part of me do you know what's funny as well to think about probably the most famous clown in the world is ronald mcdonald it's funny It's funny to think of McDonald's having a clown as a sort of mascot, isn't it? Seeing you mentioned juggling and drama classes, can I brag and tell my favourite story about drama classes?

I think this was the year before you joined the same school as me, so you didn't witness this. I was new to this school. Tim and I both arrived at our school later than the others, later than the other year groups. We joined later. I joined the year before Tim. So I was the new kid. I had, at my previous school, had had a teacher who was a very unique teacher that taught all his students that were in like his homeroom, home class to juggle. And as a result, I was quite an accomplished juggler.

I was, you know, I could do tricks. I was very comfortable juggling. I was quite good know, I could do tricks. I was very comfortable juggling. I was quite good at it. And I went to this school. No one knew this about me, of course. I was a new kid at school. And it was like first week of school, I think. And I was in drama class and the drama teacher decided he was going to try and teach people like rudimentary juggling. And he was at the front of the class, like we're all standing in this like space, this open space, standing around. And he was doing really basic, the class, like we're all standing in this like space, this open space, standing around. And he was doing really basic, you know, throw a ball up and catch it.

And you're all going to try and do this. It was going to be a debacle, but he was just trying to teach you, get you started. Yeah. And for some reason, I spoke to the person next to me. I was muttering something under my breath or talking in class, which you're not supposed to do. And the teacher decided to call me on it and embarrass me and said oh brady the new guy you obviously you obviously know everything about juggling if you're talking in class why don't you show us and he threw three balls at me at once and i like i caught them all three of them and immediately went into this huge juggling routine like behind the back and under the leg

and all this stuff for like about a minute and a half and then threw the balls back to him. It was like your dream moment. He was like, and he just went, oh, well, you've obviously been paying attention. Like it was his skill that enabled it to occur. It was like your dream moment to get called called on something and it just worked out perfectly he's like yep yeah that's that's awesome that's like a dream did you then like reach behind you and pull out like a suitcase

and it fell open and like you know like all these other feathers fell out you were like oh kids i got the girl next to me and sawed her in half. Your hat kept falling off and you went into a this in time. Yeah. First day of school clowning routine. That's how you make a good impression with the girls. I was the class clown. Nice work.

Your juggling is impressive. I tell you, your juggling has got you out of some, you know, sticky situations and been impressive at some important moments of your life. Really? It's one of the great things you do. Oh, yes, I've seen you, you know. You dine out on those juggling stories like nothing else. Every now and then, anytime you see three oranges laying around and, you know, my kids are nearby or someone else. Whoa.

Brady, the juggling clown, comes out. It's very, very impressive. I think your kids have sort of moved out of the zone now where I can impress them with juggling, unfortunately. Now it will just get like a disdainful sneer. Nice work. Anyway, the clown podcast. Well done.

People can talk about why they have the phobia of clowns. People can talk about their favourite clown. Love it. Anyway, there's a million ways of taking a clown podcast. All right. Well done. Well played. I think we're done.

I think we're done for the day, you know, unless you've got secret words. Some special words. Yep. But I just did it. So we're all good. Here we go. What were they? I can't tell you, man.

It's smuggled in. Tell me if you think. They're in the show. They're in the show. They're in the show. Yes. Yes the show. They're in the show. Yes. Was Clown one of them? That's where you get your ideas now. That's where I get this secret word.

Where can I take that? Please tell me Neptune was one of them and you didn't get it.