The Unmade Podcast - 79: Big Ben

Episode Date: April 8, 2021

Tim and Brady discuss our weird behaviours, coathangers, a new piece of merch, righting a podcast wrong, another spoon, a stakeholder idea involving plushies, and a grand performance of the Sofa Shop. Hover - register your domain now and get 10% off by going to hover.com/unmade - https://www.hover.com/Unmade Go to Storyblocks for stock video, pictures and audio at storyblocks.com/unmade - https://www.storyblocks.com/unmade Here is today's Storyblocks quiz on Bible stories - without spoilers - https://youtu.be/6GOhANY6Dpk Support us on Patreon - become a Stakeholder and be in line for all sorts of goodies and extras - https://www.patreon.com/unmadeFM Join the discussion of this episode on our subreddit - https://redd.it/mmuit6 USEFUL LINKS A faster way to tie shoelaces - a Numberphile video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPIgR89jv3Q Make your own padded coathanger - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3z_af_3zUD4 Swimming Medal Merch - T-Shirts, stickers, towels, mugs, YOU NAME IT! - https://teespring.com/1993-swimming-champion?pid=823&cid=103575 Read about Johannes' Bluetooth research - https://www.darkreading.com/risk/bluetooth-bug-enables-tracking-on-windows-10-ios-and-macos-devices/d/d-id/1335287 A selection of pics by Johannes - https://www.unmade.fm/episode-79-pictures - and more at https://phototastic.world/ Pictures of Spoon of the Week - https://www.unmade.fm/spoon-of-the-week Royal Society for the Blind - https://www.rsb.org.au 10,000 hours to become an expert - https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-26384712 Send Us a Spoon - https://www.unmade.fm/send-us-a-spoon Plushies - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stuffed_toy Big Ben - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Ben Check out many of our Sofa Shop Covers here - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRNeH_Kpl1ZgpeiNeJ-oiAQ Unmade Colonels are honoured and listed at the bottom of our Wall of Thanks - https://www.unmade.fm/wall-of-thanks

Man, I think I made a really big pre-show mistake. What did you do? I went to the gym. No, seriously, what did you do? I can barely reach the keyboard with my arm. Like it's... I had to lift the microphone into place and I had to use both hands and sort of, you know, swing it between me like an ape, you know,

walking across to the table. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not sure it's a good idea to do that level of strenuous exercise before we record. From anyone else, this would be a humble brag, but I've seen your athletic ability. I've seen your athletic ability.

Can I just say, we're going to do our sofa shop segment at the end today. And it is worth hanging around for. Because this is not only the greatest moment in sofa shop history. This is the greatest moment in podcasting history. Incredible. Worth hanging around for, all right? Incredible, yes. Yeah, all right.

Well, I mean. I don't think I've built it up enough. Let's get the other stuff out of the way first. I tell you what, I'm willing not to do an idea just to get there quicker. I'm willing to have you not do an idea as well. Thousands of voices went, hooray, it's one of those. All right. But shall we start the show with a podcast idea from me, though?

All right. All right. Come on. There is literally a jackhammer in the yard next to me, so I'm going to plough on because there's nothing I can do about that. I'm sorry if people can hear it. That's what happens when you deal with unprofessional podcasters like us. Let me tell you, there is literally a drama group in the hall next to me, which is equally as loud as a jackhammer. I promise you that.

Tim went in there and said, hey, guys, why don't you make it mime night? That's right. They're as enthusiastic as a jackhammer. That's for sure, bouncing around. All right. I thought you were going to say they have the acting ability as a jackhammer. That's for sure, bouncing around. All right. I thought you were going to say they have the acting ability of a jackhammer. No, no. I glanced in and I know one of the guys and he's fantastic.

All right. Yeah. Good stuff. Here's my idea for a podcast, Tim. It's called Things I Do Weirdly, where people come on the show and talk about everyday activities, not weird things they do, but normal things they do, but they do in a weird way. And quite often you don't know you do things weirdly until, well, you get married or you have a partner.

That's certainly when I found out all the things I supposedly do weirdly. And there are many of them. Yes. So, to give you a flavour for this show, I thought I would share with you a list of things that I do weirdly, and I did ask Tim if he could do a bit of research to find out the things that he does weirdly as well. Yes.

And I think he's had some success there. Yes. The film The Dam Busters comes to mind. You opened the floodgates, did you, when you asked for tips on that one? Oh, yeah. Tapped a rich vein there. Do you want to start with mine or do you want to alternate? How should we talk about some of the things we do?

No, let's definitely start with yours and I'll see if I can tick off a few of mine on the list. Save me some shame. I've got four. Trust me, when I asked for suggestions from my other half, I was given more than four. And it quickly transitioned from things I do weirdly to just things that I do that annoy my wife. And that turns out that's an even longer list. But I want to stick with just things I do weirdly. Here are my four.

The first one is tying my shoelaces. Apparently, I tie my shoelaces. And I agree with this. I have noticed this myself in a way that is quite unique and different to anyone else I've ever seen. And I don't know why this is. I know of when I was being taught, I kind of, you know, skipped a couple of steps or misinterpreted a few steps and somehow improvised a new way of tying shoelaces.

That seems to be what I did. So, the way I tie my shoelaces is apparently quite weird. It works. My shoes stay tied. Right. And it looks kind of normal once they're done, I think, you know, unless you look closely. But if you watch me tie my shoelaces, apparently it's quite a weird technique. Are you going to describe the technique?

I can't remember how you tie your shoelaces, which is ordinarily a perfectly normal thing for one human to say to another, but I'm actually surprised I haven't noticed. I don't want to draw too much attention to it and I won't be posting a video of myself doing it if that's what people want because I don't want to be ridiculed. Apparently it's just some weird technique that I've improvised

it's just the way I learned as a kid and then I was like oh that's how you tie shoelaces and apparently I got it wrong what do you like stand back and put them on the ground and lay the laces out to full length and then walk around you know I do like an over under and all the loop this and put that around that and the way I think it should be done. Apparently, that's just not the way it should be done. It works fine. Do you have a little song that you sing when you do it? Yeah.

Never tie soggy shoelaces. No, it's just apparently it's just weird. Let me give you another one. Licking envelopes. Right. You know when you need to lick an envelope to seal it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I kind of have a paranoia, I don't know where this has come from, of cutting my tongue when doing this, like slicing my tongue open on the piece of paper of the envelope.

Like, it just seems like a dangerous thing to me to be licking the edge of a piece of paper. Yes, yes, yes. So, rather than kind of licking along the edge, I do this weird thing where I just kind of dab it against my tongue all the way along the line. I just like lift it, dab, lift and dab, lift and dab. And I dab my tongue all the way along the edge of the envelope rather than one continuous lick. Oh, but then you're leaving in bubbles like for the letter to escape. Like there's air holes. You haven't got a continuous seal.

I think my dabs cover most of the waxy wet bit. Okay. Yeah. All right. Weirdo. Next is swallowing pills, which for the longest time I couldn't do at all. But now if I need to take pills like paracetamol or medication, I do find it hard to like swallow them that I have like a bit of a gag reflex. So, what I have to do is put the pill in

my mouth, then take a little bit of water into my mouth. And then I really have to throw my head back very violently to almost like throw the pill down my throat. And I can't just do it keeping my head still. Because you know how that's what they do in the movies like that's the movie way of taking pills you put the pills and throw your head back i have to do that i can't take pills if i don't do the whole violent motion back to really throw it down before my gag reflex cuts in in the movies though this is one of those sort of action hero kind of thing they don't they never have water, do they? They just sort of throw it back. No, I definitely couldn't do it without water. No. Yeah.

Yeah. I once tried without water and that was a big mistake. I mean, we're only one step away from my wife having to hide the pills in a piece of ham to get me to eat pills. and last on the list and this is a thing that i've done since i think year five at school is my handwriting is all capital letters uh that's just my normal handwriting if i'm writing a card or a note or a letter like anything even my like you know my high school exams when i was writing essays i write in all capital letters which apparently makes me look like a bit of a criminal. It is. That is very peculiar. That's one of the weird things I noticed about you first. Yeah. You just write everything in little capitals. So, a capital letter. So, if I was writing like, you know, a proper noun has a big capital letter

followed by little capital letters after it. So my capitals have capitals. Somewhere along your life, it's like you were born with your caps lock on and you're just stuck. I actually copied it from a guy who started school with me in year five who did it and I just liked his handwriting. So I started doing it and my cursive was always very messy. So I just like, I copied it off him and then just kept going. I still think it cost me in my year 12 English exam. Oh, really?

Because I got much below my predicted mark. And I think it's because whoever marked it didn't like my capital letter writing. Right. Okay. Yeah. Well, that's, you know, reasonably fair enough, but... Is there anything you want to add to the list of things I do weirdly that you've noticed or are you happy with those four for now oh look there's i haven't made a list of yours but the ones that come to mind as you're talking one thing i noticed about you this is more of a weird thing that you had i noticed that when you and this may have changed now that you are you know married and cohabitating and stuff but i remember remember when you were young, you had coat hangers that weren't normal. They had all those little knitted, they were like grandma coat hangers

with little knitted coats on them. It's because my nan used to make them. The sort of things you buy at a little market sale for $2 and then, you know, scones. They're like little padded knitted coats you would put on coat hangers yeah yeah yeah yeah like my my mum has them they are a definite you know tim's mum thing and they're also a brady thing it's not just you had oh one that was an embarrassing gift or it accidentally got moved here from the laundry from someone else's room you had a whole row of them so there's like your cool denim jacket hanging on this sort of pink and baby blue,

perhaps Alice blue, you know, kind of thing with a little ribbon. How long have you been sitting on this concern? It was so weird. You've never brought it up. I don't have them anymore, unfortunately. The other thing I remember about them was that they were very small. Like, they were very difficult to hang things on. Like, you'd have, like, a business shirt,

and it didn't seem long enough to really support a business shirt as much as it should. But, yeah, basically, I think I had them when I was a kid, and I just kept them. Like, I just kept them. Do you think it was the right size, say, for a baby's jumpsuit? Yeah. They were just old person.

They were old person and baby, baby size and old person decorated. I don't think I knew you could get coat hangers without those decorated coats until I was 25. I walked into a shop and thought, what the hell are these? Naked coat hangers without those decorative coats until I was 25. I walked into a shop and thought, what the hell are these? Naked coat hangers. I was so embarrassed. It is nice that, you know, the shoulders of all your shirts and jackets are just that slightly less worn because they've been neatly wrestled on this nice little like tea cozy kind of support.

Little coat hanger tea cozies. I love those things. You're making me miss Nan. Nan had a lot of time on her hands. She's like, okay, I'm not knitting Brady's clothes anymore. I've moved on to covering every single one of his coat hangers. Yeah. So that was weird.

All right. Yeah. I'll give you that. I'll give you that one. It would have been even weirder if you'd taken them with you to the UK and we're using them over there. Yeah. I'll give you that one. It would have been even weirder if you'd taken them with you to the UK and were using them over there. Yeah, that would have been really weird. I'll be back in just a minute.

Hang on, man. Because I know the UK is a really hard place to buy, like, little knickknacks at markets and stuff. You should have seen the guy in customs when he opened up a suitcase. It's full of them. It's like, whoa, whoa. You didn't declare these, buddy? All right.

Can I say, look, when you asked me about this and forewarned it, you know, like I took the temperature of the room in the house, right? And like I said, it was I had to write very fast. And now I've come back just now and I've opened up my notebook and in like kids' writing are more ideas like jammed in. They've added them when you weren't looking. They've added them while I'm at the gym. Yeah, and one of them

literally is just it just says you're deaf oh i'd get that one too for sure all right what are some of the things you do weirdly tim well apparently like i drink coffee but one of the things that i like is a is the is the last coffee of the night which is a decaf but what i do is i take it to bed and i drink i sort of sip it while i'm reading and whatever and then i put it down next to my bed and then throughout the night as i get thirsty i continue to sip the cold coffee right until the morning which my wife tells me is utterly disgusting um really weird okay for me it's like a little bit of cold coffee in nighttime i like that so that's one all right one comment came from one daughter which said

it it'd be quicker to ask what's normal about what you do, Dan. Right. The next one that came up, and I'm just going to pick four of the less embarrassing ones of the list, is to the way I eat ice cream. Right. So apparently people, they take a spoon of ice cream, just put it in their mouth, pull the spoon out and move on and like swallow a mouthful full of ice cream, which for me seems like torture. Like that's just too much. You get an ice cream headache. So what I do, I take a bit on my spoon and I sort of, I kind of lick it. I sort of, you know, put it in and out and in and out and in and out until there's less and less and less ice cream on the spoon. And then I move to another scoop. So I kind of

treat ice cream on a spoon a bit like it's in a cone. You know, you sort of lick and you sort of suck and you lick and, you know, like and move things around. I do that on the spoon. And apparently that makes me a weirdo. I know it's ridiculous ridiculous, isn't it man? I think that's okay. I think that's alright. You know, you might do that a bit overboard, but I think a couple, I think a spoon should last you a couple of, a couple of like, you know, diminishments. Too right, that's it. That's good. I'm glad I've got your support here. I'm going to put a star next to that one and go home and test it. Can I put a star next to the coat hangers? Alright. can i put a star next to the coat hangers all right what else you got hangers might catch on um the way i've got here the way you move your glass i've sort of written it as they've said it the way you move your glasses

up your face which is instead of like you know how when you when you wear glasses they slip down your nose with you know sweat and just leaning forward and whatnot if they're a bit loose. Yeah. And instead of pushing them back up from the side or by pushing the bridge with your pointy nose, I do it without using my hands. And that is that I kind of wiggle my cheeks and my nose like a rabbit and the glasses work their way back up onto my do you know that like that is a bit weird but do you know what i'm noticing about yours even more than mine is that these aren't so much things you do weirdly as when you live someone for a while just everything about them starts to annoy you just because it's them.

Like you could just breathe and they would say that's annoying. My dad breathes. I do think it's cute thinking of you doing a little rabbit face to get your glasses back on. Yeah, and I just instinctively did it then. I do it. I just sort of go one a little rabbit face to get your glasses back on. Yeah, I've done. And I just instinctively did it then. I do it. I just sort of go one cheek, the other cheek, the other cheek. Sort of like half smiling.

And they slip back into place. It's amazing. That's an amazing skill. It is. It is. It's amazing. I can also tie my shoelaces without using my hands as well. Just by wiggling my cheeks.

With your cheeks. From there, I think we sort of move down to more and more things, you know, that are weird. They say that when I'm concentrating very hard on something, like a book or even what someone's saying, I chew my pinky nail. Now I chew my nails anyway. I've been a nail biter since I was a kid. It's a habit I actually wish I could stop, but apparently I just devour the pinkies on each side while I'm concentrating. And they can tell that I'm really enjoying a book because I'll go to town. And then a person added in, yeah, and then you'll move on to your thumbs and then we it's going to be a really epic session i'm like oh wow so yeah there's apparently a style a way i i

do that which i don't know if there is a good like a normal way of biting your nails but apparently i do it in a in a in a weird way there are several here i won't go into because I'm not sure they're Yeah They're just embarrassing They're just embarrassing Like apparently I do a big ah after the first sip of coffee in the morning And I'm like well everyone does that don't they Like that's just what I think that's the thing Most of the things that you do weirdly you say everyone does that don't they

Yeah that's right Like apparently I go ugh every time I get up from the table. Yeah. I do that every time I move now. Walking up the stairs. I am tonight. That's for sure. After my gym session.

Oh, you want to bring up that gym session again, do you? Yeah. It was a pleasure to be able to say to the guy oh look i think i've got a podcast to record so i just need to go after this next one and he's looking at me going all right all right that sounds genuine enough you know like make excuses to leave it is yes yes it is i. Yeah. Apparently I also do a, I move my hands when we're driving along, like I'm having a conversation with someone or making a point or in an argument or something like that.

So I'll be driving along and then they'll just see my hand comes off the gear stick or whatever and then we'll just start, you know, pointing up and down. Gesturing. You know, gesticulating. Yeah, that sort of stuff. And they'll say, like like who are you talking to and i'll just suddenly be pulled out of my oh i was just explaining to so and so you know what were you doing were you like practicing a sermon or or preparing an argument or something no no i yeah i am just explaining something to

someone or outlining something or justifying something or, yeah, yeah, rationalising something or, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like rehearsing an argument to yourself sort of thing. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Good idea, man. We would love to hear more of the weird things that people do.

Please go to our subreddit for this episode or talk to us on Twitter or email us, unmadefm at gmail.com. Tell us about your weird things. And, you know, if we like it, we'll embarrass you on the show as well. Yes, yes. Be sure to leave your first and last name and photograph. And send us a photo of your coat hangers. of your coat hangers i wouldn't know if anyone else who's under the age of like 70 but over the age of 10 yeah who has those special what do you call them are they doilies like are they little

knitted doilies i don't know they're like kind of crocheted knitted covers for coat hangers but they're also they don't go straight over the wood or plastic. There's also some puffy cushioning under them. Yeah, right. Bit of underlay. Clearly, we've stumbled on a possible unmade podcast merch idea here. They often also had a little bag of potpourri. Or lavender or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I also had a little bag of potpourri. Or lavender or something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. How much time did you spend going through my wardrobe? I know, I was wondering why you smelled of lavender. Oh, God. All right. Let's move on. Let's move on, please. Yes, all right. Let's move on. Let's move on, please. Yes. All right.

Let's do some parish notices, follow up little things we want to just talk about. Yes. I have to say, actually, at the moment in my office, I am surrounded by envelopes and packages and things that I'm taking to the post office this afternoon on their way out to civilians and in particular stakeholders. And I just thought I'd take this chance to remind you, you can become a stakeholder, a Patreon supporter at patreon.com slash unmadefm and I might end up sending stuff to you.

It could be an unmade podcast spoon. It could be a sofa shop pin when you pass the $50 mark. It could be all sorts of stuff. We appreciate all our listeners, but especially the stakeholders who go the extra mile. And there are some extra stakeholder things coming up soon. So maybe this is the month to join up. What do you reckon? I agree.

I agree. Yeah. Have a stake in it. Yes. Yes. That's right. And speaking of merchandise, we've created a new piece of must-have merchandise. I'm sure you've heard us talk in the past about Tim's high school swimming medal.

It's come up on more than one occasion. And we think other people should have a chance to wear it. So we've actually created some T-shirts and things like that that simulate the experience of wearing Tim's actual medal. We've had it photographed at high resolution and printed onto a T-shirt. So you can just walk around a shopping centre, walk around town and look like you're wearing Tim's swimming medal. What an honour. What an honour.

Really. I mean. Incredible. You going to buy one? I still can't believe you did that. You sent me the picture. Can't believe you did that. I had to go and get it back from the museum.

But, yes, they were willing to loan it out to me. Please, please do me one favour, Tim. Yes. Buy the T-shirt and wear it to the gym. So the guy at the gym says, what's that? What's that you're wearing? Oh, you're probably just swimming, just happen to be a swimming champion. Just happen to be a swimming champion, that's right.

Oh, yes. Snap them up, folks. Snap them up. Strictly limited to as many as people are willing to buy. That's right. So last episode, I had an idea called, I've never been on a podcast. And the idea was to interview people who have never been on podcasts before, which seems to be an increasingly rare species in this day and age.

And Tim, I received a message on Reddit that I'd like to share with you. It's coming from someone called Johannes. It says, I've never been on a podcast. Hit me in the feels. Back in 2019, I published a scientific article that generated some public interest, and a professor with a weekly podcast on that general area of interest reached out to me to record a podcast news bit. public interest and a professor with a weekly podcast on that general area of interest reached out to me to record a podcast news bit. We did a 40 minute interview after which he literally

never got back to me and never published my interview. It was not my initiative to seek out going onto a podcast and I'm fine with the topic ultimately not being interesting enough for a podcast but getting completely ghosted by a supposedly professional interviewer was super weird and kind of insulting I feel like I'm in the limbo between not having been on a podcast and having been on a podcast I've done my part but it it never got anywhere. I propose the niche podcast. I've almost been on a podcast for people in my situation. I'm sure there's literally dozens of us. I did feel a bit bad for Johannes, because as someone who has worked in newspapers and TV for many, many years, I have probably done hundreds and hundreds of interviews that never ended up getting used for

one reason or another. And I don't think you can talk to all of them. So, I did feel like a bit of guilt when I heard Johannes talk in this way. But anyway, good idea for that one. It is. That is funny, isn't it? Because for many people, a journalist saying, I would like to talk to you about something is a once-in-a-lifetime event. Yeah. It's like a journal – they will certainly never forget it, you know. Oh, well, you know, the advertiser sent someone to talk to me about this and then, you know, it's a big deal.

Yeah. So you've crushed many, many lives, man. Yeah. But do you know what? I feel like this was a chance for me to make amends, for me to do a good thing and set the record straight. It is. Yeah.

So yesterday afternoon I called Johannes and I interviewed him. And now we're going to right a wrong. And finally Johannes is going to appear on a podcast. And not just any podcast. The Unmade Podcast. How ironic that the last interview was truly the Unmade Podcast. And finally, his podcast has been made on the Unmade Podcast. So here now is a 10-minute with johannes that's awesome that's great

ask you first mate how do i pronounce your name it's johannes johannes johannes but i i'm used to getting it butchered anyway like so i i used to live i'm i'm in the u.s right now and i used to live in washington dc at age like three to four and like the other kids in kindergarten used to call me your highness because they didn't know any better um oh you shouldn't have told us that don't don't do that well no i well i don't go by that name anymore. But no, but it's just Johannes. Give us the executive summary of your research that resulted in all these articles and almost a podcast. What did you do along with a colleague of yours? So I'm doing a PhD in computer engineering at Boston University right now. And my work

revolves around wireless security and privacy in the internet of things and I did some research back in 2019 on bluetooth tracking so we were trying to track devices and the thing with bluetooth is the technology is supposed to prevent tracking and we basically found an edge case where you can still track things that's kind kind of the high-level gist of it. So as I understood it, you guys found a little loophole in the way that technology works in things like Apple Watches and stuff where people could kind of get through the security bit and track what you were doing because of a little loophole. Has that loophole been closed now?

Yes. So for example, it was Apple devices. They're supposed to randomize their identifier every 15 minutes to prevent you from being trackable when you walk around and We found a way to kind of jump from one identifier to the next and thereby kind of achieving Tracking in some specific cases I don't want to kind of spread fear Apple told us when we disclose it that they would fix it But they never told us that they actually did and I actually haven't gone back to kind of check. Funnily enough, Microsoft was also, well, kind of relevant. And they came back to us telling us, well, they don't consider this a problem and they won't fix it. But it's

debatable how big of a deal this is. I'm not trying to make it a big deal. But back then, the university was making a big deal out of this because they're always looking for kind of interesting research that's going on. And they kind of, I don't know, they happened to get a hold of that paper. And then the PR department started contacting different publications. So I talked to, I would say, maybe a handful of people, all of them for written publications. And then an interview was set up for a weekly cybersecurity show, which sounded exciting. Well, we did that interview. It was a 40-minute interview.

Honestly, I don't think that would have warranted anyways. I assumed they were just going to cut it up and put it as kind of a side story of the week or something. And after we've done that interview interview I got a follow-up email asking for you know my bio and things like that and that was the end of it I never heard of the person again I obviously won't name them but it was really annoying back then because I was fully aware that this was not the next huge thing the next huge story but it was kind of a curious story and other outlets had already written about it and it was also the guy asking me for an interview. So I was like, yes, I'm going

to give him that interview. Anyways, I was pretty disappointed back then. And yes, of course, what I didn't realize at the time is that kind of that interview not airing would make me kind of part of a really exclusive club of people who've been on a podcast interview, but not been on a podcast. So, and also it paved the way for, you know, the interview with you. So. Even better. When you were doing the interview, did you feel like it was going well? Did you think, oh yeah, I'm saying interesting stuff and this is good and this is going to work out well? Or did you think, oh, I'm nervous and terrible and like, he's never going to use this. How did you feel at the time? So by the time I did the interview, I had already done five interviews with other people on the topic. And those were more and less technical outlets. In other words, I had to already talk

about the stuff in more or less technical level of detail. So in other words, I was very like versed in just talking about any level of technical detail of this. I felt pretty confident about what I was talking about. I don't know. I definitely thought I was talking about the thing that they thought was interesting enough for me to kind of talk about. Anyways, I don't really have a problem with the show not airing. I have a problem with the fact that the guy just literally never got back to me at all. I would have been fine if he just went back to me saying, you know, this thing has blown up. Sorry, I need to prioritize this. It's not going to make it on the show. Absolutely fine, because I probably agree, because I'm also, you know, I'm listening to 10 different cybersecurity podcasts. And yes, there were also, you know, big stories going on.

Anyways, that still doesn't really mean that you just don't get back to people. Tell me this, Johannes, what are you going to do if I don't use this interview and never reply to any of your emails ever again? Well, well, I mean, that would suck. No, but that would suck. No, but that would suck. I would have to reconsider being a stakeholder at that point. Oh, no. I didn't know you're a stakeholder.

Well, yeah. Maybe you can do without me. No, no. Stakeholders are precious to us. you can have a full half hour now i was going to ask you about the unmade podcast have you been listening for a while i i just went back on the website and um i i'm not a hundred percent sure but i think i've actually listened from the first episode oh Oh, wow. Yeah, definitely. I would say the Unmade podcast and No Dumb Questions are probably the two podcasts that I haven't missed a single episode of.

Oh, that's a glowing endorsement. Those are the two podcasts that are just like, you know, conversational podcasts that I just really like. Everything else is kind of news and more kind of on a specific topic. You guys are in a very exclusive kind of category for me. And who's your favorite unmade host? Is it me or Tim? I don't think I can answer that. Let me help you with an answer. I am the one who will decide whether or not this

interview goes in the show. Yeah, it's clearly you. No. The reason why, well, no, in that case, it's clearly you. But in general, I don't think the Unmade Podcast would be the Unmade Podcast if either of you weren't part of it. of you weren't part of it. If you had another show, and I know you have lots of other shows that I also watch, but they're not the Unmade Podcast and everything else is Tim.

It's really the two of you interacting together. It's what makes the show. Thank you very much. We're especially glad that you're a stakeholder. Now, one last thing. Obviously, what we do on the Unmade Podcast is we have ideas for podcasts. Seeing I have you here, if you were going to start a podcast, what would it be about? You know, have you got an idea on the burner?

Now you've had a taste of podcast fame. Maybe it's time for you to... Well, the main podcast that I would have qualified for was the one where you've been interviewed for a podcast but never been on a podcast. But that's a very limited kind of pool. That's gone now too. You've lost that special status. I'm disqualified. I should have thought about that.

I don't think I have a good idea. So if you've listened to all these episodes of Unmade and you've never sat there and thought, oh, I have an idea I want to tell the guys about. This would be a good podcast idea. I mean, probably, but I never write these things down. That's a problem. You and Tim would get along well. Tell me, what do you like doing besides Bluetooth security? Have you got any hobbies? Are you a runner or rock climber or musician? Photography, mostly landscape photography.

And with that comes travel. So before COVID, my wife and I used to travel, well, really just as much as possible and mostly to remote areas like Iceland, Faroe Island, Norway, really kind of get to the places where nobody else is in our kind of picture frame, so to speak. What's your favorite place you've been? Recommend somewhere to us all. Well, generally, I would say Iceland, mostly because that's on the top of my mind because I'm kind of planning to get vaccinated which is a realistic goal to be vaccinated by the summer in the US and we're actively planning an Iceland trip because we

were brainstorming and we were immediately like where do we need to go once we can and we were immediately both both of us were like it's Iceland where have you never been that you really want to go? Antarctica, definitely. That is kind of the long-term, kind of any savings that are long-term kind of go towards that. Well, I don't think landscape photography lends itself particularly well to a podcast, but if anyone's going to make it work, maybe it's you. Yes, I'm really, well, I'm really bad at getting things out the door kind of production wise. So my wife and I have probably taken north of half a million photos over the last 15 years. And we've had a photo website and we've scrapped it. And just a week ago, we started kind of setting it up again. We've never managed to kind of show our photos. So I don't think I'll be doing a podcast anytime soon because even my photos are not getting the visibility that they should get.

I'll tell you what, Johannes, will you send me like half a dozen to a dozen of your favorite photos? And while this interview is running on the YouTube version, I'll have those photos on the screen. Oh, yes. Look at them. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. I can do that. All right.

All right. So anyone who's listened to this, if you go back to the YouTube version or if you look in the notes for the episode, I'll also have a link to them there. People can go and have a look at just a selection of your all-time favorite photos. Sounds great. Yeah. Brilliant. Well, you've been on a podcast now. Yes.

That's great. Yeah. Brilliant. Well, you've been on a podcast now. Yes, that's great. Although I'm much less exclusive now because I'm just part of the crowd now. I know. Everyone's been on a podcast. But you resolved kind of a two-year-old trauma for me. So thank you a lot for that. Happy to help. There we go. Your Highness Johannesannes oh that's fantastic he's in the club making dreams come true well done i like to think of the unmade podcast as the dream factory

it's a dream factory yeah and uh you're dreaming and by the way if you want to see more of johannes's photos we'll have a few in the notes and we had a few on the screen uh while that section was running but he has got his act together with the website go to phototastic.world phototastic.world to see some of johannes's photos thanks for joining us he is now a podcaster. Fantastic. Welcome to the reasonably underwhelming world of podcasting. Yeah. Now, this feels like the perfect time to talk about today's first sponsor, which is Hover. Hover. Domain registrar.

Because I just mentioned Johannes' website and I said phototastic.world which is quite a good domain that he's registered and that is proof that registering a domain name can be really useful because you have to communicate where your presence is on the web whether it's professional or just like a recreational thing like your photo galleries and stuff and having a memorable name you can say is a powerful tool so why don't you go to hover and register a domain name that you think suits what you're doing and you don't necessarily even have to have a website you could just have a domain that then links to like a flicker page or a twitter or an instagram or something but it's still really really good to have a domain you can go to, like timhine.ninja, the classic one that I know you've registered.

Which I'd be tempted to auction off at some stage, Ben. I'm wondering if... Well, there you go. Maybe that's an idea for the future. If you would like to register a domain name, go to hover.com slash unmade. And if you use the slash unmade, you'll get 10% off your first registration with Hover. Hover is a great website. It's a great service. It's so easy to use. It's really easy to set up those diversions that I just mentioned or link it to your actual

website. It's really easy to take domains you've registered elsewhere with like an inferior registrar and move them over to hover go and check it all out at hover.com slash unmade can i say i still really like the idea of just grabbing a domain and using it for like event an event like a like a birthday or yeah a wedding or anything you're inviting people to and just chucking the information up there and having a domain knowing that people don't have to go looking through you know some events place on social media or where do we put that invitation or what time does it start just like yeah there's hang on they've got a website bang there it is here's all the information you can text it around

yeah i like that idea that's a top idea top idea you always think about websites being for you know like forever, like permanent for big institutions, but just doing them for events and grabbing something, it's totally worth it. Totally. Also a really funny present to say to your friend, I've registered a domain for you, you know. I've registered fluffycoathangers.com for you.

You know, go check it out. Thanks, Hover. Hover.com slash unmade. Get that 10 off it's time for that weekly dip into the hein family spoon archive in that section we like to call what do you got, Tim? Well, I'll tell you what I've got. I've got this spoon which I thought said something on it,

but I've now looked closely and it says something else. And I'm thinking about do I go with it or do I reach into the bag and pull out another one randomly? No. Do you? You go with it. No? Go with the one? What did you you go with it no this is this is what did you think it said and what does it say i'm i'm absolutely captivated now because i've put a

several aside and and i thought it said the royal flying doctor service right yeah but it actually says Royal Society for the Blind, which is somehow appropriate. That's right. Well, so you're going to just snub the Royal Society for the Blind because they haven't got planes and doctors. No, no, no, no. I just, well, we'll save that for another time. We'll save that for another time. So fate has chosen the Royal Society for the Blind.

And already, can I just, well, hang on. Let me describe the spoon. I always forget to do this bit. You also haven't sent me a picture of it. Oh, do you want me to send you a picture or do you want to see if I, let me describe it to you and paint a mental picture. And then I'll send you a photo and we'll see how well it matches. Okay.

I'm going to adopt my spoon voice now okay well brady today's spoon of the week is from the royal society for the blind uh it's up the end the head bit is square which is unusual and it has a coat of arms befitting the royal title i don't know if it's some variation of a coat of arms, but it looks very royal, the kind of thing you see on things that say royal. And then it says Royal Society for the Blind, and it's square, and that's about it, really. Has it also got it written, like, in braille or something? No, no.

Right. It's a bit harsh, actually, really, when you think about that. So they've made this, like, souvenir that's really hard to read. Yes, but you can tell it's a spoon um because it's shaped like a spoon yeah there is some it's not quite braille but there's certainly something written uh on the back that says sonic australia and you can feel it but you can't feel what it is the stem is beautiful the stem is shorter than normal but it has an hourglass kind of shape to it. I think you'd call it a reverse hourglass, actually.

It's thin at the top and bottom but fat in the middle. Is that an hourglass? That's a reverse hourglass, isn't it? And then it goes down to a scoopy bit, which is very small and plain. I don't think you'll be impressed with the size of this. You seem to like the bigger sort of bowl. So that's it. The main colour behind the Royal Society for the Blind

and the coat of arms is blue. While you're photographing it, Tim, can I ask a question? Yes. Is it, like, right to call it blind these days? Because I lose track of what the right thing... Is it, like, vision impairment now, or do do we say blindness i don't know what to say you know can i say two things one is my my i'm a bit confused by this and this might answer the question a little bit but in a slightly tangential way when i was young my exposure for this organization was through the Carols by Candlelight event in Melbourne.

Because the big Carols Christmas Eve, Carols by Candlelight, which is in this beautiful big amphitheatre called the Sidney Meyer Music Bowl in Melbourne, was something that we watched every Christmas Eve. And it was a major annual charity fundraising event for the Victorian Royal Society for the Blind. So the Royal Victorian Society for the Royal Victorian Institute for the Blind, I think it was called at the time. Yeah. And then somewhere along the line it changed its name. Yes. And then in Victoria, I noticed that in South Australia when I moved here,

they have a different name for their institute as well. So it's obviously a state-based network of organisations. And they call it something else as well. And I just wonder whether that rebranding has occurred. And I think one of them is called Vision Australia or something like that. Let's look it up. Because when you said Royal Society for the Blind, I, like, Googled it thinking, you know,

30 different organisations with that name would pop up. And the one on Wikipedia was in South Australia. Like South Australia is the Royal Society for the Blind. Yes. And on their website when they described themselves, they still called the Royal Society for the Blind, but it says it's a not-for-profit organisation providing services to Australians who have severe vision impairment. Yes, yes.

That's not far from where I live, actually, and I know exactly where that is. I can see their sign, and I've seen the RSB on their brand. Like, you know, it's a common sign that I see all the time, and I've thought, oh, wow, they've got a different name to the one in Melbourne. Let me look up Vision Australia. That rings a bell in my mind. Here we go. Vision Australia, blindness, low vision, opportunity. So they still use the word blindness. Okay. I don't know. I don't know whether we're being really insensitive or what. I don't know what. It's an area of great ignorance for me at the moment, but it's something I will read more about as a result of this spoon. So, this spoon has already, you know, been a catalyst for education.

Indeed. It does say Vision Australia is a non-for-profit organisation and Australia's largest provider of services for people with blindness and low vision. Australia is usually about 10 years behind when it comes to like, you know, appropriate language and things like that. So I don't know. We'll trust them on this occasion. All right. Quite plainly, a marvellous organisation. Yes.

And that's the spoon. Oh, now, have you got the photo? Did I send the photo? No, I still haven't seen it. Still haven't seen it. What? There we go. Yeah.

How on earth did you think that was for the Royal Flying Doctors? Because it had the word Royal at the top. And I was thinking about the Royal Flying Doctors Service. I'm just picturing you at Buckingham Palace going, where are the planes? All right. What do you think of this spoon? Do you like it as a spoon. I don't like it.

I don't like the typeface. Yep. I think it looks... That's quite boring, isn't it, really? I like the logo and I like the design of the spoon itself. I like the square top. Yep. But I don't like the typeface that Royal Society for the Blind is written in.

It looks like very basic aerial. And then there's that RSB above it is in some sort of 1980s bank branding. Yeah, I don't like the design. But, you know, it's still okay. You know, I think we're becoming real connoisseurs of these spoons now. Oh, yeah. Big time. Big time. Yeah.

It's not like we're just amateurs playing around. I really feel we're deep into the spoon world now. We've done over 20 spoons now. I know, I know. How many hours do you have to do something before you become a world expert? Is it like 4,000 hours or what's that famous like, what's that number of hours? Oh, yeah. What's that according to the book?

Oh, I don't know. Is it 10,000 hours? 10,000 hours. Apparently how long the Beatles spent playing in Germany before they had their hit singles or something. Yeah. How long Mozart practiced. 10,000 hours. 10,000 hours. Apparently how long the Beatles spent playing in Germany before they had their hit singles or something. How long Mozart practiced. We've surely done 10,000 hours of looking at spoons. If you added up all the times I've used a spoon in my life, like if that counts, like all those bowls of ice cream. The way you eat ice cream, like four bowls of ice cream, got you up to 10,000 hours.

So anyway, we also like to give away spoons each week to stakeholders, Patreon supporters, and how are we going to choose this week's winner of an unmade podcast spoon? Do you want to spin the wheel? We haven't spun the wheel in a while. No, we'll go spin the wheel. You want to do the honors?

All right. Oh, man. No, I don't think I can move it. My arms are too tight. Oh, yeah, yeah. I forgot you've been to the gym. Let me do it. Hang on.

Let me nudge it with my shoulder. Hang on. There we go. All right. There it is spinning. All right. And the winner is Alexander from Cambridge in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Alexander over there on the East Coast in Massachusetts.

Massachusetts. over there on the east coast in massachusetts massachusetts i tell you that's a that's a that's a name i wasn't sure how to pronounce properly until i was about 34 oh yeah or spell oh it's a nightmare it's a nightmare world there's about 16 or 17 s's in it i don't know what they're doing i don't know what they're doing crazy crazy don't know what they're doing. Crazy, crazy place. By the way, we are now accepting spoon submissions. If you would like to send us a physical spoon, we may feature it on Spoon of the Week. There are also details in the show notes about how to send us a spoon. Keep them coming, people. You know, maybe you want to show off the town you're from

or an organisation you're involved with and you've got access to a souvenir spoon send it in please absolutely speaking of patreon supporters how about we do another great honor and tradition that we bestow upon the stakeholders and read you an idea from one this has been sent in from one of our listeners are you ready ready? Yes, yes, please. Oh, there's just a fantastic coincidence here too, I've noticed. This, it says, hi, guys. This is Manja, pronounced Manja, from Germany. Do you like what I did there? Anyway.

Sorry, I thought that was quite clever. Anyway, I mispronounced it and then, like, read her clarification of the pronunciation, like, knowing that I had it wrong. Yeah, okay. Yes. All right. Here we go. I work as a hacker.

And before you ask, no, it's not illegal if the owner of the target system pays you. I mostly test Internet of Things devices. That's the coincidence because Johannes also tests Internet of Things devices. And he's German. A double coincidence. Wow. I mostly test Internet of Things devices like watches for children to make sure that kids can't be contacted or tracked by any random creep. Manja probably knows Johannes.

That would be, yeah. Anyway, my podcast idea. You are probably not aware that there is a huge community of people taking photos of their plush toys and writing captions from the toy's point of view, calling us humans or assistants. There already is a podcast made by people from the community about plushies as emotional support tools for people with traumatic experiences. My idea, however, is to make a plushie podcast with at least 90% less sorrow, suffering and death. The host would pretend to be the plushies and complain about the little injustices in the world, like how plushies are not allowed to drive a car or run for office. That's Manya's idea.

A podcast done from the perspective of plush toys You know, this is delving into an area we've not really gone to with our podcast ideas Because so many of our ideas are about, we presume non-fiction But actually there's a whole fiction world out there Yeah, well Tommy Bowl Sorry, sorry, spoilers Beg your pardon, goodness gracious No, but you're right. We don't often go down the fictional route.

Yeah, the sort of the sketch comedy or the fictional world. That's a really interesting idea. It's a very challenging idea. We could put our own twist on it. And instead of doing a podcast done from the perspective of plushies, we could do a podcast from the perspective of my coat hangers. Yes. Here I am hanging around.

You look like you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders. Yeah. It's my day with the denim jacket. Yeah. Have you kept any plush toys from your childhood? Yeah, yeah. Of course you have. Hoarder.

I've got a teddy. Yeah. Funny coincidence as well because I've got this teddy called Teddy and he has a little outfit that not my grandma but a friend's grandma when I was a little kid. You know, when you're a kid, everyone's sort of grandma world together and they're all knitting for everyone else's grandkids and stuff. And so it was a friend's grandma who knitted a little outfit for my Teddy. So not only do I fondly have and remember Teddy, but also Teddy's little outfit, which is a lovely connection back to a childhood friend's grandmother. Nice.

Do you think you could podcast from the perspective of Teddy? Like, do you think you could get in that mindset? Wow, yeah. What could he say? I mean, years and years, you know, in childhood bedroom to talk about, there he is learning to read and write and there he is hiding again and being naughty and he's, you know, all that kind of stuff bedroom to talk about there he is learning to read and write and yeah there is hiding again and um being naughty and he's you know all that kind of stuff and yeah never plays with me anymore

oh the stories that teddy could tell yeah yeah all right there is practicing the drums failing to practice the guitar sufficiently trying yes as the years go by the The traumatic guitar solos that Teddy has experienced Oh dear Yes, yes, that's right Well, thank you, Munya That was a nice idea And thank you for being a stakeholder I didn't know there were still hackers

I thought hackers was like a 90s thing, you know Oh nah, big time man, big time hackers Up late in the dark, you know I sometimes do a bit of hacking late at night Do you? Just saying, you know. Oh, nah, big time, man. Big time hackers. People up late in the dark, you know. I sometimes do a bit of hacking late at night. Do you? Just saying, you know, yeah, checking out what's going on at the Pentagon and stuff. Do you know what the favourite words of hackers is? I'm in. In the 90s, all those movies, someone's just there. Suddenly this, I'm in.

And they don't take their eyes off the screen. They're all speed typists. That's what they do. They'd make more money being speed typists. They should be secretaries. Also, how is it that they can guess anyone's password on the third guess and I can't get my own passwords right? I know, I know.

That's right yes that's so we have another sponsor today it is again storyblocks ah which tim described recently as the willy wonka and the chocolate factory of stock material yes so for a monthly fee, you get unfettered access to this incredible library of stock video, pictures and audio that you can put into your own creations, whether it's videos or podcasts or it could be a newsletter or something you do.

You should check them out, people. In fact, just yesterday I was making a video about space and I needed some cool footage of the moon and the earth and some really sort of spacey sound effects that sounded like explosions and deep rumbles of spaceships. And I went full Augustus Gloop into the chocolate river of Storyblocks and helped myself to all sorts of wonderful bits and pieces that I put into my video. I was so grateful for my Storyblocks and helped myself to all sorts of wonderful bits and pieces that I put into my

video. I was so grateful for my Storyblocks subscription. If you would like a Storyblocks subscription, go to storyblocks.com slash unmade. Now, Tim. Yes. The way that we like to talk about Storyblocks and kind of show off and showcase the extent of this library is I make little quizzes for you. I put together bits of video from Storyblocks and challenge you. Yes. And I feel like it's always a bit unfair because I always choose things that are of particular interest to me,

like places I've travelled or things to do with space and things like that. And because this is the Dream Factory and I like to make dreams come true on the podcast. Yes. Today I've made a Storyblocks quiz especially for you. Oh. And all of today's footage, there are going to be 10 bits of video end on end for you to look at. Yes.

Each one relates to a Bible story. Oh, wow. And I want you to tell me what Bible story it is. Okay. All right. Is this actual footage from the bible so most of them are going to be really obvious right really obvious depictions of the bible story and i'll be pretty shocked if you don't get them right a couple of them are a bit more

abstract i've done like a bit of a modern take so like for you know, you might see a modern market stall seller selling bread and fish and that would be like, you know, the bread and loaves story. Oh, yes. A couple of times you're going to have to, like, join the dots a bit. But if you don't get at least eight out of ten, I'm going to be really disappointed. No pressure. Your disappointment is a mere glimpse of my disappointment. I can tell you that. So if you want to play along, people, if you're watching the video,

it'll be on screen now. You can pause and go and watch a video or you can just listen to Tim play now. Tim, each one lasts about 10 seconds. I expect you'll get some of them pretty quickly, which will leave you with a few spare seconds. And if you want to fill that airtime with a bit of, you know, preaching or theology, you know, knock yourself out. One, two, three.

What's going on there? Well, this looks like creation. Yes. There we go. All right. Number two. This looks like the temptation of Jesus, is it? Yes, in the wilderness

In the desert Yes Someone with black on, yes Number three Slingshot, I'm going to say this is David and Goliath Yes Very good A really cool slingshot there

Nice, nice slingshot Yeah, that's cool Noah's Ark That looks like a flood with a boat that's an ark and so i'm gonna presume noah's on it there we go uh this is this is interesting this is uh someone falling also is this peter walking or jesus walking on the water, and Peter trying to emulate. I'm not sure about that one. This one here, Jesus is eating fish. I don't know if it's the Last Supper. It's outside, so maybe it is the Last Supper.

It looks like it's outside, though, which is a bit strange. Yeah, Last Supper. Okay. Wise men heading across to the, following the star to the birth of Jesus, or men from the east as it was called yes uh this is someone looking at directions for someone on a bike uh from a 90s clip this is look the temptation this is a computer generated serpent and eve with an apple in the Genesis account of the creation story. Now it's Jesus walking on the water.

Yes. I think it's Jesus or someone with quite the mullet. All right. I don't know what that other one that was of someone giving directions. So there were two that you didn't get. Right. Number five was actually Jonah. That was Jonah being cast from the boat and there was a big fish under the water.

Oh, I didn't see the fish. Yeah, the fish was kind of murky and hard to see. All right. And the one with the person giving directions, that was the hardest one. That was a good Samaritan helping someone out. Oh, right. See, he didn't look like a good Samaritan. He looked like a bit of a goose in a convertible.

No, he wasn't. No, he was the person who needed help. Oh, it was the girl on the bike helping out. He was lost and she was coming along giving directions. I actually put good Samaritan into story blocks and that was like the result. So I went with that. Nice. Yeah.

All right. But you did get eight out of ten, so you can keep your job as a church minister. There we go. That's right. And that's how they appoint us these days, by showing us vision from Storyblocks. If you want to join up, storyblocks.com slash unmade.

Thanks to them for supporting this episode. I feel like through these quizzes, people are becoming increasingly impressed with Storyblocks, which is the point. for supporting this episode. I feel like through these quizzes, people are becoming increasingly impressed with Storyblocks, which is the point, and they're decreasing in how impressed they are with me. I think that's what's going on. Well, it's a good thing you are not the one selling stock footage then.

The time has come for a very special segment yes people if you've lasted this long wow boy are you about to be rewarded yep okay let me tell the story so far yes it all started with the sofa shop jingle from adelaide in the 80s, 90s, even the 2000s. You all know the jingle by now. And then people started sending us covers that we would feature on the show. It could be country music. Dance music. 8-bit. We have a sofa designed for you. Dance music. Sofa shop ain't gonna cost. 8-bit.

Even bagpipes. And then, a little while back, only a matter of weeks ago, Tim made a joke. Imagine the sofa shop being played on Big Ben, the bell in the clock tower at westminster overlooking london like to see in the new year or something like that we thought this was very funny but a few civilians took this to the next level and we had versions of the sofa shop played on the century tower at the University of Florida. We had someone actually do a Big Ben sort of fake, taking the Big Ben bell and sort of retuning it to make a sofa shop version, just, you know, on a computer.

Very clever. And then we even had it played on the Harkness Tower at Yale University most recently. Now, you know what's coming. I got an email from someone who I cannot reveal for security reasons. Hang on, man. Is it a member of the royal family? I'm not ruling that out.

I'm ruling nothing out. All right. Is it, so you're not ruling out it's a member of the government? I'm not ruling, I'm not ruling anything out. All right. And this person said, I humbly present to you probably the worst rendition of the Sofa Shop jingle ever submitted. Frankly, it's almost not worth sending at all. submitted frankly it's almost not worth sending at all however it does have one redeeming quality in that hopefully it is the first time the sofa shop jingle has actually been played on the real

big ben bell unbelievable so what you're about to hear is the sofa shop jingle being played on the actual nearly 14-ton bell in the Elizabeth Tower, the clock tower at Westminster. Here it is. There you go. Wow. In case you don't believe that's it being played on Big Ben, I cannot show you this, but I have received an extensive dossier of proof with photos of the Unmade podcast being played up next to the clock face. The video of the playing that you just heard,

that is videoed, followed by a pan out to the side where you can see down Westminster and across London. It's the real deal, people. It is the real deal. I have all the evidence in place. Tim has seen some of it. Yes, yes. And we don't make things up on the Unmade podcast.

That's a discusion. Everything is real. Now, obviously, there is a problem playing the sofa shop on The Great Bell. The Great Bell is actually the proper name for Big Ben. Big Ben is the nickname of the bell, even. There is a problem in that it only plays one note. It sounds in an E natural, apparently. That is the note that Big Ben chimes in.

So it does make it hard to play the nuanced masterpiece that is the sofa shop. But I've actually created something else to help. I haven't played this to you yet, Tim. Let me send it to you now. I've recreated that Big Ben playing, but I've put Carmine Scalzi's original singing with it. So you can hear what it sounds like. So have a listen to this, Tim. Tell me what you think of here it is like so have a listen to this tim tell me tell me what

you think of here it is again but this time with with calm and singing the sofa shop is your only stop for the sofa you need sofa shop yeah come and drop in on halifax street We have a sofa designed for you Choose your fabric Match your curtains too The sofa shop ain't gonna Cost what you think it will Don't you do A thing until you see The sofa shop

That's awesome There you go And when you hear that you realise Two things, one that it is the sofa shop Being played on the bell That's awesome. There you go. That's awesome. That's awesome. And when you hear that, you realise two things. One, that it is the sofa shop being played on the bell. And secondly, I think the unnamed person who did this was actually listening to the sofa shop at the time because it fits perfectly.

Yes, yes, yes. So there we go. Wow. I am authorised to tell you that the person who did this is actually a musician of sorts. They have some musical ability. Yep. But, you know, what can you do when you've just got a huge bell? And apparently this person tried to play it on the bell, like, with their hand, but that makes no noise.

You do have to tap it with something to get the noise. The thing I like about it, let's just have a little listen again the thing i like about it is like obviously it's being done reasonably lightly but you can still hear big ben himself like yes muffled trying to get his voice out. Like, it's unmistakably Big Ben is there, like, trying to do it, but it's just, like, kind of muted. The thing I love, I mean, this is obviously the high point. In 161 years of Big Ben, you know, this is obviously the climax. But the one thing is it only really rings, you know, for the time and then on very significant occasions.

And I just imagine scores of people all over London are just out buying sofas now, really unsure of why. Subliminal. I just feel this sudden desire to match my curtains too. The Prime Minister's sitting in the House of Commons and leaning back going, oh, look, we really need to replace these, don't we? This is not very comfortable.

I need something a bit better. But I haven't ruled out that that was the Prime Minister that did it, by the way. Oh, indeed. I was just trying to give him a bit of cover there. So, I mean, this is obviously an amazing thing. The sofa shop playing on Big Ben. We're pretty happy about it.

So, I mean, and obviously, I mean, I don't think we even have to vote on this. I think by acclamation, this person has been elevated to unmade colonel status. Slam dunk. Slam dunk. Slam dunk. Straight. Ring the bells. Straight away. Ring the bells.

But it does create a bit of a dilemma for us because this person's identity is a secret. And I've come up with a way around it. I've been inspired by something that's quite a serious thing, and that is the CIA memorial wall, where they have that. That's a wall where they engrave stars oh yeah to commemorate people who've given their lives for that for the country but they they maintain them their anonymity yes this is the thing under the stars there's like a

book in a case and at the last time i've heard there are 135 stars on the wall 93 of them have names associated with them in the book right but 42 of them have to remain anonymous for security reasons and they're just they're just represented by a star so i think right on our little wall where we commemorate unmade colonels we will put a star as well for this absolute star, civilian who made this possible. So you know your name. Yes. But I'm afraid no one else will. You will just be forever a star on a webpage

and a star in our hearts. Indeed. The brightest star in the unmade podcast sky. The brightest of stars chimes only half as long. That's right. I can't believe it. Big Ben. That's amazing.

Yeah. Where do you go from here? Are there any bells on the moon? I mean, really? I was thinking, is there a more famous bell? There's the Liberty Bell, but I'm going to argue that's not as famous as Big Ben. No, no. There's the Taco bell uh but like

there is no more famous bell no no there isn't is there a more famous sound making device in the world i would argue not like an instrument there's no particular organ or piano or something you could play the sofa shop on that's more famous. No, there's no guitar that's famous. You know, things like, they're all very contextual, aren't they? Like Jimi Hendrix's guitar or something like that. They're all very, or a particular Stradivarius violin. Oh, I know a good violinist. I don't think she has a Stradivarius, but I could get in touch with her for a...

I mean, we have had a violin cover done, which was quite good, but we could upgrade to a Stradivarius. I'll see what I can do about that. I'm a bit of a completist with my service shop covers. I just like to have these in there. But, like, what challenge can we lay down next that would top that? I don't know. It's hard.

It's something at the Vatican,an like in saint peter's basilica i wonder if there's any see if you have to think about it already it's not as famous as big ben that's right no that's right i wonder going back to your um the legendary john williams who was bestowed another unmade podcast honor which was the keys to the universe was it what was the keys to the planet wasn't it okay yeah was the... Keys to the Planet, wasn't it? I don't know. Yeah. This is the composer of Jurassic Park and of Star Wars and of Jaws. It'd be interesting to hear him play.

Getting him to play it would be... I mean, that would be a coming together of... There is a Star Wars Sofa Shop cover already, of course. Again, already on the side. Yes. All right. on the side yes all right well until we until we think of something bigger and better and i'm not sure we will the sofa shop has now been played on big ben from tim's imagination and joking around to absolute reality in a matter of weeks hang on hang, hang on. Tim's vision. That's what it was. A cast of vision. Vision. It was a strategic vision.

And there was a deliverable that's been delivered. That's right. Yes, absolutely. And people rallied to the cause. They bought in. My blue skying has been actualised. So once again, our big thanks to Boris. They bought in. My blue skying has been actualised. So once again, our big thanks to Boris. I mean to the anonymous person who sent that in to us.

We appreciate it very much. Oh, what an incredible. Well, man, is there any, there's no point going on. Is there? No. No. What can we do now? Who are we?

What point is there? We're just a couple of guys that have never played the sofa shop on Big Ben. Oh, no. No. I wonder if anything has been played on Big Ben apart from the sofa shop and- 11 o'clock. That's right. Because what they do is there are four other bells, smaller bells that play different notes,

and they're the ones that play on the quarter hour. And then Big Ben chimes on the hour. Can I just say, I do have, I have secret words, and they're well and truly dealt with in the natural course of the show, which I think, I literally think is a first. Wow. And I don't even, I literally think that is a first. Yeah. I have another person who has requested a secret word. And so I need to try and fit that in somewhere.

Okay. But it's going to be very hard to smuggle this particular woof into the episode. That would have been weird if you just did that mid-show. Norske Råd Norske Jokk The station is located on the right. Røda Norsk Jonsson La Rue de la Marseillaise Rennstrand Amore, amore, amore. Amin. Amen. © transcript Emily Beynon