The Unmade Podcast - 80: Great Great Great Great

Episode Date: April 15, 2021

Tim and Brady discuss new trading cards, more weirdness from civilians, head-to-heads, a Dutch Sofa Shop cover, an architectural Spoon of the Week, a building demolition, ancestors, Brady's convict roots, secret words, and a big finale. Go to nordvpn.com/unmade and use code UNMADE to get a 2-year plan plus 1 additional month with a huge discount - https://nordvpn.com/unmade - It’s risk free with Nord’s 30 day money-back guarantee. Learn how a VPN works - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCWNRzoQGis Thanks to Ting Mobile. Bring your phone and get $25 off at unmade.ting.com. Choose Smarter - Choose Ting Mobile - https://unmade.ting.com/ Support us on Patreon - be in the mix for spoons, cards and other stuff - https://www.patreon.com/unmadeFM Join the discussion of this episode on our subreddit - https://redd.it/mrrai5 USEFUL LINKS Spoon of the Week trading cards at spoon.cards - https://www.unmade.fm/spoon-collector-cards Swimming medal towel - https://teespring.com/1993-swimming-champion?tsmac=store&tsmic=the-unmade-podcast&pid=651 Episode 79 featuring things people do weirdly - https://www.unmade.fm/episodes/episode79 The last remaining Haran family coathanger with hanger cosy - https://www.unmade.fm/episode-80-pictures Check out many of our Sofa Shop Covers here - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRNeH_Kpl1ZgpeiNeJ-oiAQ Bewonder de Sofa Shop official merch - https://teespring.com/bewonder-de-sofa-shop Pictures of Spoon of the Week - https://www.unmade.fm/spoon-of-the-week The Brisbane Transit Centre - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brisbane_Transit_Centre Send us a spoon - https://www.unmade.fm/send-us-a-spoon John Warner and Sons - makers of the original Big Ben that cracked - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Warner_%26_Sons Tasmania - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tasmania Some documents relating to Mary and Joseph - https://www.unmade.fm/episode-80-pictures If you enjoyed our finale with De Heinhond, you can try your own karaoke version here - https://youtu.be/pNe5FnP1czg) - music by Alan Stewart

And so it begins. This saga begins. The legend is born. There's something I've loved all my life, from long before I knew you, probably while I knew you, and I continue to love it to this day. Oh, yes. And that is trading cards, collector cards. They've always just tickled my brain in the best ways, whether it was

cricket stickers or cards or Return of the Jedi or Batman movies and things like that. I've just always loved collecting cards, trying to get the whole set. And I just love they're small and compact and they've got information on them and they're a set. Oh, man, I love trading cards. You do. You've always had some impressive collections i've never been able to quite build a collection i'd buy a packet of something go oh i'll get into these and then i'll just not buy another packet and that packet will kick around in the drawer for years but you've you've gone further you've built you've bought more packets yeah well i have i've got a few sets over the years and things like that. I've had a

few sets that didn't quite get there, but in later years I righted wrongs and things like that. But anyway, I've always wanted to make my own trading cards to the point that when I was a kid playing backyard cricket with my friends, I would sometimes cut out little pieces of paper to cricket card size and draw pictures of us, but I was never very good at drawing, so my sort of hand-drawn backyard cricket collecting cards were never very good. I would love to see those cards. Knowing you're drawing, I would love to see those cards.

Anyway, Tim, the dream has become a reality, thanks to you, no less. Yes. No less. I like the way you said yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, that's right. All thanks to me.

I have created, thanks to Tim and the Unmade podcast, my first ever set of really professionally made, well, they're not that professional because I designed them, but properly designed, properly manufactured collector cards. Yes. Tim, do you want to tell people what these collector cards are? I can't believe the moment's arrived. I didn't actually know we were going to announce this today.

I've been sitting on it for so long. So I haven't prepared a speech or anything like I normally would or a PowerPoint presentation. But people will be very excited to know the spoons of the week have been made into collector cards spoon of the week collector cards will soon be available indeed indeed i got the first pack in the post the other day and i facetimed tim live in the middle of the night so he could watch me open them that's how excited i was i was brushing my teeth at the time and I nearly

swallowed my toothbrush with excitement. So, at the moment, it is a set of 23 cards. There may be expansions on the way as the Spoon of the Week canon grows, but for now, there are 23 cards to collect. There'll be pictures and things on screen and in the notes. In fact, you can go to a specially commissioned website, spoon.cards, to find out more. Thank you, Hover. Spoon.cards. So, you can check them out. Now, it hasn't been decided by us, and when I say us, I really mean me, how these cards are going to be distributed tim and i have discussed it but we can't decide what to do but at the moment to start with because i don't want i'm not yet ready to sell entire packs i want there to be kind of serendipity

involved and people having to trade and collect and try to get the set so i want to release them into the wild again i think an analogy with will Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is apt. Yes. Can you imagine, was Willy Wonka sitting around with a brains trust going, okay, we want these tickets to get out there. How are we going to do it? I don't want to just give them away. I want to sneak them in. Do you reckon the Oompa Loompas were part of the brain trust?

Clearly, Willy Wonka wanted to sell more chocolate bars and we want to get more stakeholders. We want more Patreon supporters. So to start with, we're not going to put them in chocolate bars, but we are going to give them away to stakeholders. And the first batch of stakeholders to receive some cards in the post will be announced later in the episode during our Spoon of the Week segment. But in the meantime, I just want the excitement to grow about these trading cards because I am so proud of them. They do look really impressive. They really do. They look fantastic.

And they're informative, too. All sorts of facts and figures are on them and information about the spoons. The sorts of things that people have been craving, I think. Maybe the spoon, that spoon. Tell me, what does it weigh? How long is it? Indeed, the Hein family was commissioned the oompa-loompa grunt work of actually measuring and weighing the spoons for me.

So that information is included on the trading cards. It's all there. It's all there. More information zone. Definitely the favourite piece of merch I've created so far. And that is saying something. Because I've created some ridiculous merch. What about the big barf towel with my face on it?

Surely every time you get out of the shower You're just excited that you invented that one You know we're selling swimming towels now With your swimming medal on it as well Is it really? I didn't know that Yeah Parish notices, Tim Parish notices Really? I didn't know that. Yeah. Yeah. Parish notices, Tim.

Parish notices. In the last episode, I had a podcast idea which was all about things people do weirdly. Not weird things people do, but normal things that people do in a weird way. Yes. And we spoke about a few. And I think we've lit in a match under the civilians here. And we've had lots and lots of responses, people letting us know about things they do weirdly. So, I thought I'd share some of them now. Before I start, Beau, can I just thank all those kind souls who assured me that my way of licking envelopes is not as weird as I thought.

That kind of dabbing motion I do because of my fear of cutting tongues. I've had all sorts of anecdotes from people who've cut their tongues or share the fear and use similar techniques to me. So I feel somewhat vindicated and I feel more like a normal member of the human race again now. Thank you. How far did you have to dig to find these to feel validated? The fear is real, Tim. The fear is real, Tim. The fear is real. Here is an email from Taylor in Florida.

And this was a response to Tim's unusual way of eating ice cream. It says, Brady and Tim, I'm a make you feel better. For the last 13 to 14 years, I've been eating ice cream with a baby spoon. It all started when some family friends left a baby spoon at our house by accident. The next day, after it had been washed, my family and I were eating some ice cream, and I jokingly pulled out the baby spoon at our house by accident. The next day after it had been washed, my family and I were eating some ice cream and I jokingly pulled out the baby spoon. Immediately, I was taken by how nice it was. Because the spoon is small, it allows me to stretch out the ice cream and enjoy it longer. The soft plastic is also very comfortable to eat with. A big improvement over the big cold

metal spoon bouncing off your teeth. Yes. I unashamedly kept the baby spoon and I still use it to this day. My wife and family poke fun at me, but the joke's on them. I'm having a much nicer time with my ice cream. I'm hearing Tim purring in the background there in agreement. I actually think I was thinking ahead going, actually, that would be good. The cold spoon. And yeah, it's avoided by the plastic.

But you don't want a plastic spoon because you do want the steel bit at the scoopy end. Yeah, I don't know. The thing I love is that he's still using the same one. Like that baby must be like 15 or 16 years old now I wonder if he does the scooping of the ice cream with that spoon Or if Taylor uses a proper scooper or a bigger spoon for that Yeah, because the metal is handy to sort of for mining the ice cream Particularly if it's Ben and Jerry's and you hit a good seam

And you want to mine that seam of marshmallow or caramel And like dig through the ice cream You need the metal spoon there for mining purposes there should be some sort of radar available across the top of the ice cream that goes where you know that there is a seam of like boysenberry or chocolate just under the surface or you could put your ice cream in like an mri scanner beforehand so you know exactly where all the best seams are. Yes, three-dimensional. That's perfect. Yes.

You just know, hang on, hang on, stick to the left-hand side, follow down a little bit in a little bit. There it all is. That's the gold. Nice. Before you even start, you know where it is. Then you could like get like an electric saw and cut in from the side of the container

and save it and even go down through the top. That's right. Or use dynamite to blow out the bottom. Like they do in mining. Just little mini fun-sized dynamites. Like, you know, nothing dangerous. Just blow a hole and then sort through it with some sort of, you know, large machinery.

Can I just say that we have a disproportionate number of spoons in our cutlery drawer. This is the normal spoon, dessert spoons, with like bent stems where... Did you have Uri Geller around for dinner again? That's right, which I've done with my mind. Well, yeah, where you're digging into the ice cream and sure enough, it bends and then it bends back. And then your partner says, I use the ice cream scoop. And it's like, I have to walk all the way over and get that. I want to use the same one I'm about to use.

And sure enough, they all end up a little bit wonky. I don't think we own an ice cream scoop. We don't eat a lot of ice cream in this house, to be fair. So, yeah. Got another email, Tim. This one comes from Crystal. For the first 25 years of my life, my now ex-husband couldn't figure out why all his T-shirts always got worn out first on the back to the point where there was eventually big holes in the fabric between his shoulder blades while the rest of the shirt was intact. shoulder blades while the rest of the shirt was intact it was only when he met me that he learned everyone else isn't taking off their t-shirts by raising both their arms up and behind their

shoulders grabbing that nugget of fabric between the shoulders and pulling it up and over so the neck hole comes up first and off first then the the back of the shirt, followed by the sleeves, and then the front torso. Oh. He has since remarried, and I assume wife number two finds this equally perplexing. That's great. They're just slowly wearing. Nice. Like grabbing between your shoulder blades, your t-shirt between your shoulder blades,

and like ripping it off. That's like something a WWF wrestler would do or something. That's how Hulk Hogan takes his shirt off. I generally just sort of flex a little bit, and then I find that the T-shirt just drops to the floor in about four pieces. I'm surprised you can get any T-shirts over those biceps of yours, but anyway. For my massive Muppet-like head, that's the real challenge. All right.

Here's a... We're on to the subreddit now. Lots of people were on the subreddit sharing their things they do weirdly. Plagiarism22 says, I wash my feet in the sink, which I imagine is relatively common. What? Washing your feet in the sink. which I imagine is relatively common. What? Washing your feet in the sink. How do you get them up there? I don't know.

Out of the time? Plagiarism 22 is obviously more flexible than us. Goodness gracious. I wouldn't dare. I'd be in all sorts of trouble, like physically as well as with the family. Pull a hamstring. Here's Shira Yuri. My own weird thing.

I love what I call pasta sandwiches. Anytime I have a bowl of pasta, I have a slice of bread and put some pasta on it and fold it and eat it like a sandwich. This was a normal thing in my house while I was growing up, and I assumed everyone did it. But since moving out, I've discovered other people definitely did not grow up doing this. I'm sticking with it, though. That's strange. Like eating Italian food like it's Indian food. That's like carbs in your carbs.

That's like, there's a lot of carbs happening there. Yeah. I can't pretend that's not at least a little bit tempting, but. I know. Actually, I love the sound of it. And in fact, on the same subreddit, MindTimes chipped in and said, me too, sort of. I like having leftover pasta on toast for next day lunch. I like the meat, like the bolognese on toast the next day, but I'm not sure I have the pasta itself on. Hmm. I'm going to see. I'm going to need to experiment here before I come to a final decision about what I think. experiment here before I come to a final decision about what I think.

How about this from Exococado? For me, it is how I eat sandwiches. I prefer to eat them top down, layer by layer, instead of side to side. What? I'm aware that it's weird, so I wouldn't always eat that way in front of other people. Top down. So you go bread filling bread. How do you do that? How wide is this guy's mouth?

I don't know. How do they fit the whole slice in at once? I don't think it worked. That's a good point, actually. How does that work? They surely would bite through the middle and they'd come through the other end, like Jack Nicholson in The Shining, and pop out the other end. Here's Exocogodo. How about this from chocolate spread they say i peel bananas upside down instead of snapping from the stem i dig into the tip and peel it that way i saw it on the internet

as a kid and i've done it that way ever since i'm only reminded that it's not the normal way of doing it when someone points it out to me. And then Fluffy Parasite chipped in and said, I break bananas in half. That makes peeling it even easier. It only works with rather fresh bananas, though. Yes. Or it gets a bit squishy. I am sometimes known to get a knife and sort of slit the banana down its length and then just unwrap the peel that way.

I do that sometimes. Okay. If it's difficult to get into or just as you'll do it right from the beginning? Just because it's, yeah, you can have a mishap peeling a banana and like break the banana or, you know, especially doing it from the stem. I don't know. I just find it an easier, more kind of surgical way to get at my banana all right i don't do it all the time it's just if i'm in the kitchen and you know it's

particularly if i'm doing something like chopping it up to make a smoothie or something i'll just and i've got a knife nearby i'll just like go right down the length and then just open it like a like a shirt without buttons i sometimes make a small incision and put a straw in and then just suck the banana out. I used dynamite from my Ben and Jerry's the night before. I'd so want a video of you sucking a banana out through a straw. All right. Here's another one. This is from The Golden Viatori. I do things

weirdly. Walking. Apparently, I move my knees higher than most people, but I don't pay attention to how high people's knees go. Drinking. When I take a few sips of a drink, I move the cup a few centimetres from my mouth and then my lips move up. I had no idea it did this until I saw a video of myself drinking water. So you meet the cup halfway. That's very diplomatic. Yeah, there you go. And just lastly, one last thing about things that are done weirdly. Obviously, Tim, you know, derided me for the coat hangers I had as a boy

and even as a teenager that had what I've seen some people dub as hanger cozies. These are these sort of knitted or crocheted, fluffy, colourful covers for your coat hangers, which my nan, my grandmother made. And I guess I just thought, oh, coat hangers had them. And because who buys new coat hangers? Not me. So, I just thought, oh, coat hangers had them. And I just, you know, and because, you know, who buys new coat hangers? Not me. So, I just had them for years and years until I, or into my teen years. Anyway, we discussed this on the podcast last week. And my sister, who I didn't tell about this, but obviously listened and heard this kind of, you know, desecration of our childhood memories. And she sent me a picture, which I'll share now in the notes and on the description.

And it turns out she was the same because, you know, my nan obviously did these hanger cozies for her too. And she was so attached to them. She's actually kept one. And on her travels around the world, she's lived in Europe and Asia. And now she's back in Australia. She's been all over the world. She kept one of them with its cosy that she still uses to this day and she sent me a photo of it and it brought back such warm memories seeing one of the actual ones that we had. So if you want to see an actual Nan made hanger cosy from the Harron Family Archives, go and check it out. I have to say I have been inundated with people telling me

that those are the hangers that they continue to use. Right. In fact, this week, this week I went to meet with someone in their home to have a meeting. And just like without even mentioning it, like I walk in and they're sitting on the coffee table is one of those hangers. And I go, oh God. And they go, see, I use them. People are quite defensive about them. I don't want to stereotype, Tim, but I'm imagining the people in your congregation have a higher proportion of hanger cosies than the average man in the street. No, I have to say this. No, no, this was younger people.

This was younger people. But, yeah, there's quite a few. I have to, let me just push this a little bit further, though, and just say that your explanation that, you know, you were given them as a child and they just felt normal. And so you just kept using them because they would just seem like that explanation would also work for nappies. Like, are you still wearing nappies because they were handy as a child and they just seemed comfortable and practical and had a purpose? Just because I'm 45 doesn't mean that, you know. You're really doubling down on desecrating my fond memories of my nan, aren't you? I'm not desecrating her.

Look, she's perfectly legitimate and appropriate for her to make them. I just thought it was wonderful that you used them. Hmm. All right. You got off without having an idea in the last episode of the podcast. So do you want to start us off today with an idea for a podcast? I do. I do.

But let me warn you, I've done a bit of preparation, which is rarely a good idea when it comes to my ideas. I promise you are not better prepared with your idea than I am with mine. Oh, really? People are going to get two very well-prepared ideas today. All right. Certainly no promise of quality, that's for sure. Absolutely not. All right.

What you got? Against my better instincts, I'm going to start with the name of this podcast. And I have five ideas of a name here. The first name is Versus. And you're thinking, oh, this is a podcast about Pearl Jam's second album, isn't it, Tim? I hope so. But no. No.

Or it could be called Or. Or it could be called Pick Aside or Rivalry or Preference. I don't know. I'm 100% sure you'll come up with a better name later on and make me feel stupid because it's so bleeding obvious. But anyway, this is a podcast where people need to decide their preference, where there is one over another, and determine what that says about them. So let me go through a little bit. There's a lot of choices in life and they're kind of binary choices where there's one option over another. I'm going to ask you some of these and I want you, we'll just see where it adds up.

I think I know, I think, by the way, I think I know the name already for you. Oh yeah. Head to head. Head to head. That's good. Well done. Yes. Yes.

Nice. That's great. All right. Let Yes. Yes. Nice. All right. Let's start the recording again. All right. My idea is called head to head. All right. Right. Yeah. And we go through. Give me my binary choices. Okay. Mac or PC? Mac. Okay. Ice cream or icy pole? Oh, I know you call them ice lollies or something in England, don't you? Okay, yeah. Ice cream. Are you a cone or a cup?

If it's waffle style cone, if it's that kind of cardboardy style, then cup. Right. Okay. The Beatles or the Rolling Stones? Beatles. What about the Beatles or The Rolling Stones? Beatles What about The Beatles or Elvis? Beatles Revolver or Sgt Pepper?

These are Beatles albums for those who are not aware I have no, I don't know, I don't know them well enough to make a decision there Okay, Disney or Pixar? Pixar Alright Shorts or pants? What do you prefer to wear? Oh, you mean like long, like trousers? Because pants means underwear in England. Long pants, like around the house, if it's, if temperature's not a factor. Shorts or long pants? I'm going to go long.

Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Well, the answer's in the name there. It's got to be a Brady. Fair enough. Fair enough. Aaron Burr or Hamilton? Hamilton. Okay. Adolf Hitler or Winston Churchill?

I'm going to go Churchill there. Enid Blyton or J.K. Rowling? Enid Blyton. All right. VHS or beta? VHS. VHS. Early episodes of MASH with Henry, Trapper and Frank

or later MASH with Potter, BJ and Charles? Early. Early. Okay. All right. Dostoevsky or Tolstoy? No idea. Blur or Oasis?

Oasis. Are you a lover or a fighter? I love a good fight. That's a conundrum. You're a lover of fighting If you had to choose Lore or medicine Oh that's a good one

I think I would choose Lore And I think this is the last one But you can probably think of some more Are you a singer Or dancer Um Dancer

Right Yeah You're a pretty cool dancer I agree with that Can you think of some more? There's a lot of these binaries in life Aren't there? Head to head

Alright, for you Cricket or football? Oh, football Right, sorry Were you unwilling to answer Because it was such a patently obvious question? I paused because I couldn't decide and then answered with a tone that suggested that it's a bleeding obvious question.

All right. I just named Tim's daughters. But seriously, which one? Adelaide or Melbourne? Now I'd say Adelaide. Left or right? I have to go back to your out of 10. I'd give left, hmm, 9 out of 10. I'd give left, hmm, nine out of 10.

I'd give right, hmm, maybe nine and a half out of 10. So right wins. Okay. Nick Cave or C.S. Lewis? Oh, that's a really good one. I have to say C.S. Lewis. Oh, nice. All right.

Oxford or Cambridge? I've never been to Cambridge and I've been to Oxford, so I'll have to say Oxford. And C.S. Lewis spent most of his life in Oxford. When I say I've been to Oxford, I mean I've visited Oxford. Yeah. Yeah. I studied in Oxford.

I studied the KFC menu. I did. I literally went to KFC in Oxford. Did it taste different? It was disappointing. I don't know. I was just like, oh, well, I would have been hoping it was better than that, being in Oxford. I don't know why.

It's something about having a world-class university that means their fried chicken should be of a higher quality. But I don't know what the link is there. I have a podcast idea that's sort of similar to this, but different. But I'll push it back a few more episodes now so that it's not too... It's sufficiently different that I'm going to do it as an idea, but it does mean I have to delay that idea a bit now. I think this is a good idea for a podcast, Tim. In fact, this is a very strong contender for one that we should record like an actual demo

episode of and do for longer, don't you think? Because this could be quite good fun if we each came up with really long lists. Yeah. And you have to, you've got to maybe a time limit to answer them. Yeah. With a sense of pressure. And I'm sure, and I'd love to hear suggestions as well about others. I was making this long list today, but I'm sure there are other really obvious head to heads that are out there. There's a million. Would you like to swim in an ocean or a lake? No, that's a good question. An ocean, I think. What about you? Ocean or lake? Yeah, probably the ocean. The lake does have some advantages, but...

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your location. I find it useful because I often want to see what websites look like from other countries. If I'm telling people, go and go to Amazon or go and look at this website And then people will like will tweet me back saying oh it looks different to what you said Brady That's because I didn't know what it looked like So these days if I'm ever sharing something I'll quite often change my NordVPN server to like You know the Netherlands or France or America And then I'll visit the website to see what the website looks like from those locations. That's a really useful use of the VPN. I was in

China, though, a while ago, and I was talking to some uni students, and I was saying, oh, I make YouTube videos. And then I was sort of condescendingly saying to them, well, you probably have never seen my videos because, you know, it's on YouTube, and I know YouTube is blocked in China. And they just looked at me like I was an idiot. And they said, we do have VPNs, you realize. And then I was like, okay. So, you know, everyone in China's got VPN. NordVPN. You will get a huge discount on a two-year plan on NordVPN

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Or just the enthusiasm you were bringing into your voice. Tim, we have a new SofaShop cover that I'm very excited to share with you. I've not heard this. No, I've kept it from you. I've kept it from you on purpose. Right. This is an email from Yaseera who says, hi, Tim and Brady. There is a rumour going around, I don't know if it's true, but it is said that Tim's dad might be of Dutch descent. Is this true, Tim? Is your dad of Dutch descent? I'll have to look into that. Let me write that down.

That's quite a... Yaseera continues, I've wanted to contribute to the Sofa Shop cover madness for a while now, so I thought that, since I'm Dutch, I could honour Tim's heritage by making a cover in my beautiful native language.

I tried to keep the lyrics as close as possible to the original, but gave rhyming the priority over translation precision. Making this was super fun, so I hope you both enjoy it. So what Yaseera has done here, Tim, is sent me the lyrics in Dutch and then sent me a Dutch to English translation. So it's not exactly the same lyrics, obviously, when it goes back to English. So before I play it, I thought we should read out the lyrics firstly in Dutch.

And seeing, Tim, you are the Dutchman here, I thought I would give you the honour of reading out the lyrics in Dutch, if you wouldn't mind. If I send them to you, would you be willing to read them for us? Yes, I will. Okay. Here they come. I should add I don't know Dutch. Yes, that's why I'm doing this. I haven't spoken Dutch since I was three. Okay. So, if you would like to do the honors there, Tim, read us these lyrics in Dutch.

Am I allowed to pre-read them? No. Just go. Just jump in. Just jump in. Just jump in. Okay. The sofa shop is... The sofa shop, yeah. Yeah. Seems to be the same in English as Dutch. Komm in, Kir Langs. Wir indern ist in Bankentwöp. Auch passen der Gorgonen super schöp!

Exclamation mark. Der Sofashop ist spotgüdenküpp. Ja, hier se sit, se goed. Stop nu, what de do it. Stop nu, what de do it Stop knew what de do it Stop what you're doing I think that is And bewunder de sofa shop Exclamation mark Alright

Bewunder de sofa shop I like that Nice Bewunder de sofa shop That is nice Here is it translated back into English So obviously the lyrics have changed as a result of this process. The sofa shop is your only stop for the sofa you need.

The sofa shop is the only store for the sofa you want. The sofa shop, yeah, come and drop in. The sofa shop, yeah, come by sometime. We have a sofa designed for you. There's a sofa designed for everyone The curtains match sharply too The sofa shop is super cheap Yes, you sit well here Stop what you're doing now Yes, you sit well here. Don't you do a thing until you see the sofa shop.

Stop what you're doing now and admire the sofa shop. And apparently the you sit well here is quite a pun in Dutch because you sit well here is another way of saying this is the right place for you. So, there's a bit of a double meaning going on there. Very clever. Oh, yeah. I will now play for people Yaseera's version of The Sofa Shop in Dutch. Now Tim, you did such a good job with the Dutch there, in quote marks there. How would you like to have an attempt at singing along in Dutch?

You up for that? Would I? Wow. Hang on. Let me send I? Wow. Hang on. Let me send you the file. All right. The sofa shop is the end of the road For the bank that you want

The sofa shop is coming down For in Berlin is the bank of twelve He loves. Or in the rain, he's in bank and twirl. Up a sindag, a man's super sharp. Chirp, the sofa sharp. His bottom's got cold. Jahir zips, they go in. So, no do what they do, they go under the sofa sharp. I wonder if I could become a Dutch rap star.

You know, like I really think I could rap this a lot better than I sing it. I thought you were rapping it. Did I forget a melody? I love that bewonder is admire. Yeah. were rapping it. Did I forget a melody? I love that bewonder is admire. Yeah. I love it. Bewonder de sofa shop. I'd love a T-shirt that just says bewonder de sofa shop.

Tim, done. Done and done. Link in the show notes. Get your bewonder de sofa shop T-shirt now. All right. Awesome. Thank you, Yaseera. Unmadefm at gmail.com if you would like to send us a cover.

Now, Tim, it's time for... Spilled on the Week. Oh, yes. Here we go. Wow. All right. Good one today. Really good one.

Just holding the spoon is exciting now. Just knowing that it's going to one day soon appear on a Spoon of the Week card, collector card. I mean, that in itself, it's just like they're going to have a whole other life. And what is the spoon, pray tell? What spoon are we about to bewonder? Well, I tell you, we've gone with something different this time, something that's a little bit, shall I say, space age. And that is, this is a spoon.

Sorry, Brady, I need to bring my voice down. This is a spoon from the Brisbane Transit Centre. Right. Now, can I say this is quite a handsome picture of the Brisbane Transit Centre or the Transit Centre in Brisbane, Australia, which apparently has become quite a legendary building and which in the little picture, the spoon itself has a picture of said transit centre, which makes it look like a space station.

Like it looks awesome. But apparently it didn't turn out to be quite as handsome as it appears in this space-age-looking drawing on the spoon, which maybe was given out in the conceptual stage. Look, it's a very small spoon. I mean, they're all small. I don't think I need to say small anymore. It's about a normal-sized spoon, similar to a baby spoon you'd use, for instance, to eat ice cream.

The stem is quite handsome, simple with streaming lines. It's a very small, I think quite pointy, scoopy bit down the end. I wouldn't know, Tim, because that part of the spoon in the photo you sent me is concealed by your thumbnail. And people now realise that you are quite a thumbnail biter. So it kind of looks like London after the Blitz. Maybe I'll send you another photograph. It makes the building look much prettier, I'll say that. Maybe I should release a commemorative spoon of my thumbnail.

So anyway, this spoon has obviously been minted and made to commemorate this building this transit center when it was new in brisbane yes and as i understand it transit center basically it's a bus station yes yes um the thing that i've come to realize firstly two things one is i've i've got some intel from mum about why she has this why this was in our possession. Wow. Because I haven't, it's not part of a collection. I haven't seen any other transit centre, you know,

commemorative spoons in the collection. No. You know, this is not commemorating something natural. It's a, you know, piece of architecture and that's pretty rare. The message from mum said, I stayed there on the way up or on the way home from Papua New Guinea. Ah. I remember driving over the Brisbane Bridge. I must have bought it then.

That's what she said. So straight from mum, the intel, that confirms. Straight from the horse lover's mouth. That's right. That's right. The interesting thing, when I was looking up some intel on the Brisbane Transit Centre, it's just like last year, been demolished, which is... That increases the value of the spoon.

It does. It's the only thing left. It's just last year been demolished. And before it was demolished, apparently it was quite legendary around Brisbane as being the ugliest building in Brisbane. Wow. I don't think it looks that ugly. It certainly looks pretty cool and 1960s, 70s spacey and stuff on the spoon.

Obviously, the architects didn't see this spoon and they've just gone ahead and built something that's quite brutalist and unappealing. They didn't follow the guidance on the spoon. That's right. I would have loved to have seen the foreman on the building site just holding up the spoon in front and then looking at the building and looking back at the spoon and going, yep, it needs a white column along there. Nice. Well, it's not often you see spoons commemorating bus stations.

So I think this is a fabulous addition to the collection. And I'm grateful to you and your mum for sharing it with us all today. Well, mum did the hard yard. She's the one that actually went there early on in the 1960s, knowing that one day this spoon would be of great significance to you and I. It's going to look particularly good on the card, I think. That's why I'm excited about it. Well, what we usually do at this point is we give away one of our very own unmade podcast commemorative spoons to one of our stakeholders, one of our Patreon supporters. We will do that again today.

How will we choose today's winner, Tim? Have you got any random ideas? How about we demolish a building? Yes. So I'll do that now. And so now we have all these bricks and all this rubble. Yep. And I have written the name of a stakeholder on each brick, and whichever brick you randomly pull from the rubble will be today's winner.

Well, I'm going to look for a brick that doesn't have a chunk of concrete attached to it. You know how some of them have bits on them you have to clean off? I'm going to look for the cleanest brick I can. Oh, here's a nice one. There we go. There we go. And? Oh, it's as brick I can. Oh, here's a nice one. There we go. There we go. It's heavier than I thought. And what a wonderful coincidence.

Today's winner is from the Netherlands. Today's spoon winner is Bart from the Netherlands. Bart from the Netherlands. We are going to post you a spoon. This is a quick reminder, by the way. Make sure your postal addresses on Patreon are up to date. Otherwise, we're going to be sending your stuff to the wrong address. And now, Tim, if you can pull out another 10 bricks just quickly for us.

Just ramage around there. Oh, gosh, 10. Wow. Yeah. All right. There's one there. Pile them up. And while Tim piles them up, we are about to announce 10 people,

10 people who will be sent the first batch of cards, Spoon of the Week cards. You'll just be sent a few. You're not getting a whole set. This is just... We're just seeding the community with cards so you can start collecting. Those two are attached, so I'll put them together. Here we go. I don't think you should say that. All right are attached, so I'll put them together. Here we go.

I don't think you should say that. All right. I'm going to hang on. All right. All right, that's enough action, man. Yeah, that's good. All right. Okay, here are the...

You're getting a bit in character there. Here are the ten winners. We have Stephen P. from Washington State, Shari P. from Canada, Karen W. from Canada, Thomas N. from the Netherlands, Anna D. from Scotland, Zach B. from California,

Anne H. from California, Jared C. from North Carolina, Richard D. again Washington State, and Mike B B from Illinois. You all have cards coming your way. And interestingly, we have a couple from California and a couple from Washington State. So maybe they're close enough to each other to start a bit of in-person trading. Oh, yes.

You know, I'll swap you that Adelaide spoon card for my Canada spoon card, that kind of stuff. I don't know if we mentioned that we not only have a card for all of the spoons of the week, but we do also have a bit of a wild card, special one, with the Unmade podcast spoon on it as well. That is a bit of a gold. Yes, that's card number one. That's card one and a real collector's item. Oh, yes.

Anyway, go to spoon.cards for more information. And let us know if you've got any ideas as well about how you think we should be, you know, distributing the spoons and stuff. Massive spoon of the week that was, really. Big. With the announcement. Big. In the transit centre. Big.

You know, it was huge. Huge. It'll be long remembered in the spoon community. Especially because you demolished a building. I don't think that was necessary. Well, you know, you've got to pick your winners fairly. We have another sponsor today, Tim. It's Ting.

Ting, yes. Good. Ting. Nice. Ting. Thank you, Ting. Ting Mobile. No contracts.

Switch over to Ting as your mobile phone service provider. Mobile phone service providers, a lot of them are going to rip you off. They're real bandits, but not Ting. Because Ting realized that paying for a bunch of data every month that you may not use, because you're not using data if you're at home on your Wi-Fi and in the office and stuff like that, you shouldn't be paying for that data. You should only pay for the data you use. And that's what Ting's all about. So they've got a bunch of plans like their Flex plan, their Set5 plan, and their coveted Unlimited plan. There's

all these plans you can sign up for where you're paying small fee for your talk and your texts, and then you're paying for the data you use. It's a much fairer way to go. Ting also has award-winning customer support through phone, chat, email, social media, and Tim's personal favourite, they even have their own Discord at ting.com. So, Tim, next time you're on Discord, you can go and get your Ting customer service. Nice, yes.

Do you know what Discord is? I do, I do, yes, yes. You do? I do, yes. Do you use it? No. Right, yes. Do you know what Discord is? I do, I do, yes, yes. You do? I do, yes. Do you use it? No. Right, okay. But I know what it is because it's used by people that I know, people that I work with.

So I'm familiar with it. If you switch to Ting, by the way, they do work on pretty much any phone. It says here it works on the latest iPhone, Galaxy, Pixel devices. I don't know if it works on those old Baker Lite rotary phones. That's not listed here, but I like to think Ting would work on that too. So move your phone over to Ting Mobile today and get $25 credit by going to unmade.ting.com. That's $25 credit, unmade.ting.com. You'll be able to keep your phone number, of course. This is, by the way, I think Ting is still only available in America. So if you're outside America and dreaming of moving to Ting,

you either have to move to Americaica or wait till ting spreads a bit wider but for now you americans get on the case give ting a ring give ting a ring or or or give them a whatever you do on discord a poke or a thumbs up or a uh i don't know what the lingo is for discord swipe left or whatever no do got to do, but get yourself some ting. It's time for my idea. I think we're out of time today. Oh, no. I've done way too much research to not do this.

All right, all right. We'll see if it makes the edit, but go down. My idea is called the great great great great podcast right now this comes from a message an email i got from john after in the last episode we talked quite a bit about big ben for for reasons people may remember and then i got this email and it said hi i have just listened to episode 79 and thought you might like to know that my great-great-great-great-grandfather was John Warner, who ran the metal works that cast Big Ben and the other Westminster Chimes. Big Ben later cracked in transit and was recast by another company. I have no special access to get the sofa shot played on the bells, and I'm not asking to be a colonel or anything. I just wanted to let you know that you have a stakeholder with a family connection from John.

So, the current bell wasn't cast by John's great-great-great-great-grandfather. It actually never made it up into the clock tower because it cracked. Oh, right. But the first bell was made by John Warner's company. And John Warner's foundry and bell makers and stuff, I think were a big deal back in the day. So anyway, thank you, John, for letting us know that. And so my idea, the Great, Great, Great, Great podcast

is a podcast where people come on and talk about their great, great, great, great grandparents. It has to be four greats. I don't care about three greats. I don't care about five greats. I want your great, great, great, great grandparents. And tell us a story. John's got a story.

Have you got a story about yours, Tim? Nice idea. No, I don't. No. No? I could find out. I do know there is some research done on both sides, my paternal and maternal side, by members of the family.

I just don't have it at hand. It's going. You'd be surprised. It's a fair way back. It is. Don't worry, Tim, if you haven't got a story to tell, because I do. Right. Now, by way of background, I think you knew this, Tim, but for about a year in the 1980s,

my mum became absolutely obsessed with researching our family history. She basically took a year off of life. And this was before the internet. So she took a year off in genealogical societies and libraries and old council halls and dragging us kids all around South Australia, knocking on strangers' doors, trying to find our information, researching our family history to the nth degree. And then she made this incredible leather-bound tome all about our family. It was a magnificent feat. I know it's hard to believe that I have a parent that obsessively does projects like this after how I turned out, but that's just my mum. I have seen these tomes, yes Yes, because it's not just, you know, John begat Bill who begat Sandy

She would like find out that John worked in a bakery That opened from 10 till 6 on Tuesdays and sold pies for three shillings Like she was all into all that kind of, that level of detail Yeah, right And even after she'd finished her research there was there was a slight hole that always irked her that related to my great great great great grandparents going up hers and then my grandfather's side up along that branch of the family all it was known was that there were there was this guy who turned up in South Australia

at the three-grade level, and he had come from Tasmania, and nothing was known about his parents at the four-grade level, just that they were Tasmanian, from the state of Tasmania, the island of Tasmania in Australia. So, I know you know, this is for other people. I'm reasonably sure where Tasmania is, man. I know you know. You have Tasmanian connections too. Now, here's another little bit of background for people before I reveal the next piece of the puzzle.

And that is, if you're from South Australia, one of your sort of claims to fame is that South Australia was not a convict penal colony when Australia was started as a convict colony. When people joke about Australians, oh, you're all a bunch a convict penal colony when Australia was started as a convict colony. When people joke about Australians, oh, you're all a bunch of convicts. You all come from robbers and stuff like that. South Australians will sniffily say, oh, no, no, no. We were all free settlers in South Australia.

It's quite like a point of pride. You know, you can't call us convicts. But over the years, like I think as the past becomes more distant it's almost become almost like bit of a source of pride for australians and if you can trace your heritage back to convicts that's almost become a bit of a cool thing now like you know because that's the first the first people like you know having relatives on the mayflower or something yeah so my mum always i think secretly hoped that those tasmanians, those Tasmanian great-great-great-great-grandparents were somehow convicts. And in the last year or so, she's found out more about them.

And spoilers, they were convicts. And I'm going to tell you the story now. This is my convict heritage. Now, best of all, my great-great, great, great grandparents are called Joseph and Mary. How good's that? No. Yes. Mary and Joseph.

Now. How far back did you say you looked? Here we go. So, let me tell you, Joseph Pendle was in Cambridgeshire in England, and he was sentenced to death for stealing a mare from a mare named Nathaniel Wed. He was a horse thief. Wow. He was sentenced to death, but it was commuted, and instead he was sentenced to transportation to australia in 1803 and then two bits of serendipity happened first of all he was put on a ship called the hms calcutta and that was captained by quite a responsible captain who took quite good care of all the other convicts and

people on the ship so he didn't die on the trip over which a lot of convicts did and the second bit of serendipity was he was supposed to go to a convict colony in Melbourne, in Victoria, in Australia. But when they got there, conditions were so terrible, they decided we can't put the convicts here. We're going to continue on to the convict colony in what is now Hobart in Tasmania. So he found his way to Tasmania as a convict. found his way to Tasmania as a convict. Now, a bit later, a woman named Mary Hambleton, or Mary Hamilton, spelling and names are a bit interchangeable these days, and I have to tell you both Joseph and Mary were illiterate, but I think we think it's Mary Hambleton, was given a seven-year term for stealing a watch in Dublin, transported to Australia in November 1815 and arrived

in April 1816. They married in Tasmania in 1819. So, Joseph, I think, basically eventually got let out and given some land. Yeah. And he married Mary in 1819. And you can see their wedding registration. I'll link to it. And they signed their wedding registration i'll link to it and they signed their wedding registration with crosses because they couldn't write she was 25

and he was 45 but it seems like mary was a bit of a wild child because even after they got married she spent a fair bit of time in and out of custody and workhouses for all sorts of doing all sorts of naughty things she was put in stocks once for being drunk and disorderly. She stole a dress, which got her in a lot of trouble and got her locked up again. She assaulted another woman. And she stole the dress seven years after getting married, so she was obviously still causing problems.

Yeah, right. But the year after she stole the dress and got locked up again for a while, they had a son named William in 1827. And it was William who eventually moved to South Australia and continued the family line that resulted ultimately in one of the world's premier podcasters, me. Joseph and Mary, convicts in Tasmania Back in the day How exciting How many generations back Like does it mention coat hangers?

Like is it something that's in the The coat hangers, yeah Did they bring their coat hangers out or did they have to knit them here? If only she'd been locked up for stealing a coat hanger That would be cool I love that my great-great- great, great grandfather is a horse thief. And also, respect to Mary for stealing a watch, because I love watches as well. I feel like the writing was on the wall.

Yeah. Well, you're such a horseman, you see. I am. I am. I i am do you wish that you came from convicts i don't have a particular uh desire or aversion to it i guess it's never been because dad came out so recently on on his side you know like he he came out in the 1950s so i've never really thought about that history um do you think maybe your dad was on the run? Was he a horse thief too? Maybe.

I can imagine your dad stealing a horse. He had that little twinkle in his eye. All right. Okay. Yeah. I wouldn't mind stealing a horse. It's grand, grand theft thoroughbred, really, isn't it? Like, it's not grand theft auto.

That's what the computer games would have been back in the day. Joseph Pendle, Mary Hambleton, Starcross Lovers Who Met on the Green Mile. The other side of my family, the maternal side, is Scottish. So yours, they're almost exclusively English. Is that right? English and Irish, a lot of Irish. Bit of Irish too. Ah, right, yes. So just recently, my wife and I did, you know, those DNA tests where they tell you your heritage.

I was about to ask you about that then. Yes. Yeah, just did it, just did it. And so, and the results came back and her results came back before mine. My wife's English. I'm obviously Australian. So, she got her results and it's, and it came- like, she came back very English and English, you know.

But it was like, you know, 60 or 70% and the rest was sort of Northern European. And we joke and like, you know, that was it. It was all English and Northern European. So, you know, we joked, oh, yeah, that's- what do you expect? Mine came back, I was like 99% English and Irish. Crazy levels. Like she was so disappointed. She was so proud that she was so English and like, you know, was lording it over me as like the convict Australian. And then my results came back and I was like way more English than her.

That's classic. I was like crazy English and British and like nothing else. It was ridiculous. Do you think that after you read those results, like the rest of the day and the next day, your accent changed at all? Like did you find yourself speaking in a different way and like starting to wear a top hat and things like that, you know? Very much so.

I just started moaning about the weather a lot more. That's right. And stealing horses. Flipping Rhone up to steal the horse in the rain. I want to track down and try and find the place where the horse was stolen in Cambridgeshire. That's going to be one of my new missions. Oh, yeah, yeah.

And make amends. You're going to buy them a horse. Oh, man. Well done. Oh, that would be brilliant. That would be brilliant. Find the descendants of the person from whom the horse was stolen, because I know who that is, and give them a horse to make amends.

Do you have a spare horse? Well, no, but how hard can it be to buy a horse? I just made trading cards, man. Well, ask one of your servants to go get one for you. Purchase one in the village and bring it back. Do you want to get to work and see if you can find out a bit about your great, great, great, great grandparents? I would. I would like to.

I know that information is out there. It wouldn't take long. I am also intrigued by the DNA test too. I was talking to a cousin about this a few nights ago at dinner and she was very encouraging of me to do it. All right. I'll get on to our advertising people as well and see if we can get them to sponsor the next episode. That'd be great. That'd be cool. It would be funny if it came back with 0% Dutch.

Like, there's just nothing there after all this. It also tells you, like, all sorts of weird things about you. Like, you know, whether or not you like asparagus and stuff like that. Like, I wonder if you think I'm joking. I'm not joking. Hang on. Let me call up my results here. What do you mean?

Hang on. What, reading your DNA? Yeah, it tells you. Let me call up my results. It tells you all these weird things about you. You know, it tells you how Neanderthal you are and all that sort of stuff. But does it say whether you prefer the Beatles or the Stones or like? It says there's a 79% chance that I have little or no back hair hair on my back

it says that there it doesn't always get things right because it says there's a 63 chance that i have few if any freckles right right does it predict your hair color or anything like that yes it got that wrong as well it says there's only a 6% chance that I have red hair. Oh, wow. And your eye colour? Yeah, it's got all that. All that. It tells you how likely you are to, like, you know,

like coffee and stuff like that. So this is just based on records of DNA. So you didn't fill out a survey that they're collating with the surveys of other people. No. And they put this with the DNA. Just purely on your DNA. No, I can't find it.

I'll look for it later. But here we go. I was 98.9% British and Irish and 1.1% French and German. Oh, wow. Yeah, I'm intrigued. I'm intrigued. It also tells you here what day you're going to die. No, it doesn't tell you that.

No. But I got this i got this weird message from mine i don't know if it's a joke or not but it came from the company it said dear brady we haven't told other people this but the whole purpose of this program is to find one individual to represent planet earth at the Galaxy Olympics. After looking at your results, we have decided you are that specimen. Would you be willing to represent the planet at the... No, I can't read anymore. It's top secret, but maybe that's just meant for me. Anyway, if you've got any interesting information

about your great-great-great-great-grandparents, I always hope I'm getting the right number of greats there. G4. G4's a good name for the podcast. Oh, there you go, yeah. Instead of great-great-great-great. If you've got any good information about your G4 grandparents, you know, go on the Reddit, send us an email, talk to us on Twitter.

Or post in a sample of your DNA to break. Yeah. Yeah. Or give us a left poke on discord or whatever got your secret words done uh no no surprisingly no we're back to the good old days yeah no that's right um my secret word from your daughters that i was asked to say on the podcast was great i hope i got it in i i i write it down here but i i need to

maybe i need a post-it note to stick it on or something it's more fun that you forget every week it's it's not because it sounds i'm it sounds fake doesn't it like it's like oh yeah here we go he's forgot but i i swear i try to remember it's right here you get lost you get lost in the magic of our banter i i well that's right i know join with everyone in the um yeah in in the bliss the glorious bliss of our humour. Anyway, join the club. If other people forget, maybe you would like to write in to the Reddits and to Reddit and tell us about things that you forget day after day after day after day.

Have you got the words in there? Yeah, I do. Yep. All right, let's move on. Well done. I wonder if I could become a Dutch rap star. You know, like, I really think I could rap this a lot better than I sing it. This soup shop is the end of theaker where the bag is the wheel.

The sofa shop, yeah, comes in here long. Here in there is a bank and club and people are going to buy the soup. And pass on the code to your supervisor The sofa shop is hot golden coupe Yeah, here's the code Stop, no, what? And pair wind up the sofa shop Sofa shop All right. Nice one, man. Press stop?

Yeah.