The Unmade Podcast - 81: Best Birthday Present Ever

Episode Date: April 28, 2021

Tim and Brady discuss Dutch rapper De Heinhond, Bad KFC, apologies, a shaved head, a spoon from somewhere remote, more winners, Tim reviews some glasses, memorable birthday presents, BMX bikes, something Greek, and belated secret words. MuskOx has thoughtfully made, high-quality men's apparel - check them at gomuskox.com and use the code UNMADE for 15% off - https://www.gomuskox.com/ Go to Storyblocks for stock video, pictures and audio at storyblocks.com/unmade - https://www.storyblocks.com/unmade Catch this entire episode on YouTube - it makes the gift section more fun! - https://youtu.be/Rt0WTrgqbKc Here are the glasses/spectacles that Tim reviewed - https://youtu.be/QWPU1nbASac Support us on Patreon and be in the running for all sorts of extra goodies, including spoons, cards and other bonuses - https://www.patreon.com/unmadeFM Join the discussion of this episode on our subreddit - https://redd.it/n0fndj USEFUL LINKS De Heinhond raps Bewonder De Sofa Shop - https://youtu.be/kpl0msV9HqM Karaoke Version - https://youtu.be/pNe5FnP1czg More Heinhond bonus material for Patrons/Stakeholders - https://www.patreon.com/posts/50539395 Catch more Sofa Shop Covers here - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRNeH_Kpl1ZgpeiNeJ-oiAQ Rabbit Flat - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabbit_Flat,_Northern_Territory Pictures of Spoon of the Week - https://www.unmade.fm/spoon-of-the-week Unmade Podcast collector cards - https://www.unmade.fm/spoon-collector-cards Pictures from the end-of-show present giving - MEGA SPOILERS if you click here - https://www.unmade.fm/episode-81-pictures The Apollo 11 logo - https://www.nasa.gov/feature/the-making-of-the-apollo-11-mission-patch Uncommon Type - https://amzn.to/3tLGXwf Trackers - https://amzn.to/3aBO0zR

We are in a hurry today, though, I have to tell you, because I'm getting vaccinated this afternoon and I have a tight deadline. You're like a new little puppy that needs to get vaccinated before you can get around other puppies. very end of the previous episode were rewarded with a real treat of Tim's debut as a Dutch rapper. Yes. We had a rap version of him doing Yaseera's version of The Sofa Shop in Dutch. And if you haven't heard it yet, it goes a little bit like this. You're assuming that's my debut because... But you don't know what other secret recordings I may have made in the past that are yet to surface on the internet.

Some of my early underground sort of stuff, you know, pretty hardcore stuff. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure that's your debut, judging from the quality of your Dutch. Now, look, by the way, thanks alan stewart for producing that for us that the maestro now we got pretty excited about this and tim what i did was i contacted all of our dutch patreon supporters all our dutch stakeholders i sent them all an email and said, tell me what you think. Write me a review. Like, how good is it?

How's the Dutch? And I thought a couple of them might reply if I was lucky. Loads of them replied. And let me tell you something I learned this week. When you ask Dutch people to review Dutch rap, they don't hold back. And they don't keep it short either. So, I'm not going to read all the replies because it would take quite a while. I will put some of them like on Patreon or something if people want to read them in depth. I'm not going to read them all, but I will read snippets from them so you can get a feel

for what people felt about your Dutch rapping. Are you ready for this? Well, yes, yes. You don't sound ready. I emphasise again, these are just snippets from each review. And these people wrote lengthy reviews going into all sorts of detail about pronunciation and linguistics and the use of vowels in Dutch and all sorts. Were they that complimentary, were they? Oh, wow. They've really gone into detail in their praise.

Complimentary is one word you could use. Right. I mean, Darn said, I really feel like we need to strip Tim of his right to associate himself with being Dutch after hearing this rap. Brackets, Just joking, obviously. Mick said, for some reason, I also thought he was singing in African. Not that African's a language, but alright.

Pascal said, this is amazing. LMAO. As for my review my review Obviously all the usual suspects are there The way the G is pronounced And how he doesn't know what to do with the IJ vowel The thing that actually threw me off the most Was how weirdly French it sounds Anyway it's almost completely unintelligible But if you read the lyrics along with it

It's great 10 out of 10 That 10 out of 10 was unexpected but anyway maybe we should send it to some french um stakeholders and see what they maybe they'll they'll get closer uh rebecca said i would say that tim probably has a leg up on dutch pronunciation compared to most for example the word bunk for couch or sofa Tim pronounced in the Dutch way, not like the place you get your money from. So, well done, Tim. Some praise there. Thank you. Thank you. However...

Bart says, by the way, my youngest daughter, five years old, sings or hums the sofa shop jingle all the time in her own words. As you can imagine, her English is somewhat limited. So, we look forward to the five-year-old version from Bart. With much improved pronunciation. I wonder what age you sound like. If, like, if it wasn't for, like, the deepness of your voice and someone heard you're Dutch, what age they would guess you are. It's like, oh, yes, that's pretty. That's good.

That's quite eloquent for a six month old. Daniel said, I'd say that whatever Tim lacks in accuracy, he more than makes up for enthusiasm. I do wonder what Tim's father would have thought about his son rapping in Dutch. Would it have been a disapproving frown or would he have gotten some stern coaching on his rhymes? Can I say it's the ultimate insult To be reviewed as being very enthusiastic You know? It's like, how was that performance?

And you're like, well, they were very enthusiastic That one hurts particularly It's like, how was that performance? And you're like, well, they were very enthusiastic. That one hurts particularly. And bear went up there so fast. Jacob, who has spent 12 years teaching Dutch as a second language, said, given the fact that you made him do it unprepared and on the spot, I think he should be proud of these first steps of remastering his father's long-lost language. Which is quite nice.

I will point out, though, that Tim stayed back after work and recorded multiple takes. Which he sent me. You didn't need to explain that. I do need to explain that because I'm going to make those multiple takes available as stakeholder bonus material. So if you're one of our Patreon supporters, I'm going to let you hear Tim's raw takes at rapping without music. All the different versions. He did multiple versions. He'd say, and now here's my Beastie Boys version.

And you can hear them all on Patreon. I specifically went into the media room at work and, like, shut the door and set up the microphone. I read it through, practiced it, then went, right, let's lay down some beats. You know, here we go. I would have paid $100 to watch that in the room with you easily. Cohen says, I listened a few times and despite Tim's talent for rapping, I could only reconstruct about one third of the lyrics. He needs to practice on his pronunciation of the letter G

because it is tricky. I imagine they're referring to the... This is the... You okay? You okay there, man? Yeah. Sorry, there's a bit of interference here at the moment. Hang on.

Every time I go to say the letter G. I thought you were choking on a piece of KFC. Last of all, here's Guido. It's hard to explain. It's like an Italian speaker took a Dutch lesson from a Norwegian who hasn't got any knowledge of Dutch pronunciation, but who somehow teaches it with a French accent. That's brilliant.

Dutch Weegin, probably a good name to maybe get this language patented as the next Esperanto. I can see this being used to wake up Australian sleeper agents in the Netherlands, sitting at their desks, doing mundane administrative work in the embassy or something. Then De Huynhond, which is what we call Tim's Dutch rap name. We'll come to that in a minute.

Then De Huynhond comes on the radio. Smooth Dutch Weegean fills the room. They stop what they're doing, look up, and with the thickest Australian accent, they shout, Oh, yeah? Where are all the koalas? Storming out and start defending Australian interests in what I imagine are mostly EMU-related trade agreements. That is very witty. All right. Wow. Nice.

Nice work. Why didn't you read out any of the positive reviews? They must be here somewhere. No, there was, along with all the detailed explanations of where you went wrong, there was a lot of praise for your bravery at attempting what is notoriously described as one of the more difficult languages to learn. But look, I think it was amazing, Tim. I was so impressed.

You know how impressed I was. And in fact, I think it was amazing, Tim. I was so impressed. You know how impressed I was. And in fact, I think this could go further. I think there's a future for you as a Dutch rapper. I've sort of taken the bull by the horns and sort of appointed myself as your representative and agent. And I did a bit of Googling of Dutch record labels. And I found the label that I think is best suited to you. It's a hip hop Dutch label called Unexpected Records. I was drawn to the name because it sounded a bit like Unmade Podcast,

Unexpected Records. So I thought that was a sign. And I wrote them a letter. Nice. You know, a letter of introduction and proposing you as a possible person on their label. So I was wondering if I could read that out now so people know where things are at.

Absolutely, absolutely. All right. Now, Tim, obviously people know Tim has long been known as the hind dog, and I found out de Hein Hond is Dutch for hind dog. So I'm calling Tim de Hein Hond or the Hein Hound. I don't know how to say it. I'm saying Hein Hond. Dear Unexpected Records, tim de heine hond or the heine hound i don't know how to say i'm saying heine hond dear unexpected records we are writing on behalf of the dutch rapper de heine hond tm and i've put a little tm next to de heine hond all the way through trademark yep yep yep

in english the heine dog de heine hond is based in aust in Australia But rest assured His father is Dutch We believe De Hein Hond Has the skills Skills with a Z Has the skills To really crack The Netherlands market

And perhaps Into other Dutch speaking locations Such as The Republic of Suriname Please find attached His debut recording Bewonder de sofa shop

And a recent headshot Headshot enclosed we feel de heijn hond could be a valuable addition to your stable of artists we should point out de heijn hond does not actually speak dutch but as you can hear he can read rap at a beginner level de heijn hond de heijn hond is also a casual guitarist and confident with microsoft word he has a doctorate in ministry and won a swimming carnival medal in 1993. Sort of puffing your CV there a bit, Tim. We should point out De Huyen Hond is very fussy when touring,

and his rider would include a bargain bucket of KFC before and after all gigs, a souvenir spoon from the town in which he is performing. Yes. Yes. Do let us know if you'd be interested in signing De Huynhond. If not, any feedback on his performance would be welcome, as would suggestions of other Dutch hip-hop labels which may be interested. Kind regards, Brady Haran, representative of the hein hond tm well that that well i've not yet heard back from them well they they call themselves unexpected records i mean come on what do they expect with unexpected records i bet they didn't expect this that's for sure no they didn't

and now also that version that we played earlier here's a little reminder there is also a karaoke version available on the website i will link to it uh where it's just alan's music and not Tim's lyrics. But I've put like along the bottom, I've put the lyrics in Dutch so you can sing along like a karaoke video.

So if you want to make your own version of Bewonder de Sofashop in Dutch, you can send us a version if you like. The shop is at Golden Coop. Ja, he's it.

The good. As I mentioned, the raw recordings of Tim's will be available to patrons. But as an extra surprise, Alan the Maestro Stewart made a second version of the rap using a different one of Tim's recordings. That's sort of different genre. And we thought we'd play that to you now as a bonus. So here is another version of Bewonder the Sofa Shop. Translation by Yaseera. Sung by De Heinond. we'd play that to you now as a bonus so here is another version of bewonder the sofa shop translation by yasira sung by dahein hond the sofa shop is Hier kommt Inkyland Wo in der Rhein ist ein Banken-Twerb

Bucht Passion, die gucken super schärf Das Sofa-Shop ist spot-end cool Ja, hier sind sie gut Stopp, nur warte, gut, oi Eberwander, eberwander, eberwander Das Sofa-Shop So there we go. A bit more mellow. I like the...

Yeah, that's good. I'm proud of that version. In fact, I'm proud of officially, speaking to my agent now, I'm proud of both versions. But I think that it's sort of like a early in the night excited version and then later on in the night chilled out kind of version you don't mean you don't mean later in the night when they're trying to get everyone to leave the nightclub the one they put on because everyone wants to go as the lights go up

i start the show with one and I finish the show with the other one. Nice. Nice. Well. There's nothing in the middle at the moment. That's all there is to it. Speaking of finishing the show, we do have another version in another language that has since been sent in and we'll play that at the end of today's show. So hang around for that.

Bit of parish notices, Tim. Just one email I wanted to read to you, if I may. Gosh, yes. Yep. Tim mentioned in the last episode that he went to KFC when he visited Oxford in England and was disappointed by the KFC. I have an email here from Declan. Dear Tim and Brady, after listening to the most recent Unmade Podcast episode,

I thought I would get in touch and share my views on the KFC in Oxford. Until last October, I used to live in Oxford and during the pandemic would listen to the Unmade Podcast during my lunch breaks on the balcony. One day, after what could only be described as an inadequate lunch, listening to the two of you wax lyrical about KFC, I'm not exactly sure which episode it was but let's be honest there's a lot to choose from yes it got my stomach rumbling and i decided to order kfc for dinner that evening i eagerly unboxed a warm hamper of chicken to my horror however it was indeed disappointing tim was right oxford's kfc is simply not up to snuff if tim would kindly share the rest of the kfc locations around the world he deems to be Tim was right. Oxford's KFC is simply not up to snuff.

If Tim would kindly share the rest of the KFC locations around the world he deems to be disappointing, perhaps he might save some other civilians from the same heartache. All the best, Declan. Thank you. Yes, Declan. Yes. Well, I do feel vindicated. Indeed. Yes, it's nice to hear that.

We would like to hear from people all around the world about what your local KFCs are like. Maybe we could put together some kind of heat map of where the best KFCs are around the world. Oh, that would be an incredible community service. It would be an app. We could make an app and you can find out what your nearest KFC is and what the community rates it. Yes, yes, yes.

And that would be, I mean, a KFC would love that as well because the pressure would be on the people running that KFC to get up. Otherwise, people are just going to drive past, like, let's go another 10 kilometres to the next village or the next town. They'll probably have, they've got a better one there. They've got a 10 out of 10 one. This one's only a four or something like that. I've just figured out what we could call the app.

What? Chick Advisor. Nice. Nice. All right. chick advisor nice nice all right let's get to work on that yeah well i mean let's be honest let's make it more specific getting right down to what it is skin advisor that's what we're that sounds even dodgier than chick that sounds dodgier than chick. That sounds dodgier than chick advisor. The business of the podcast is ideas for podcasts. You got one for us today, Tim? I do. I'm sorry I do, in fact.

Right, right. I use the word sorry advisedly because my idea is a grovelling apology. Literally. my idea is a grovelling apology. Literally, the idea for my podcast this week is people coming on an episode of the podcast to offer a grovelling apology. In fact, you could call the podcast a grovelling apology. Nice. Where they list something in particular that they are profoundly sorry for. Yeah.

And they apologise for it. This could go down the deep end of the ocean, and it also could be quite light. You know what I mean? There could be just little moments and things. There could be multiple episodes of it for each one of us, for our partners as necessary. Multiple episodes a day perhaps. yeah no no i i think

this is a a good idea and i would like this is the sort of idea that that could pick up currency that actually could be the place where people come you know it's sort of ground central for apologies when they want to offer a groveling apology to a particular person or to the public at large it's like well this week they're going on grovelling apology to do their apology and everyone can tune in and listen. What a great idea. What a great idea. I like the idea of the fun ones, but I could imagine

if it was a serious podcast, it could almost become like the forum one goes to to make apologies. Like it could become like, you know, where your Prince Andrews of the world come to make could become like, you know, where your Prince Andrews of the world come to make their apologies or, you know, you could get the Pope on or all sorts of stuff. Like, you know, it could be this fantastic. Lance Armstrong.

Yeah, that's right. It could become like this kind of Oprah-type apology forum or it could just be jokey ones. I could see that working too. Have you got something you'd like to apologise for today tim well yeah i i do actually yeah all right um i i have a groveling apology this i have to say this this goes back 20 years actually uh the thing for which i'm going to apologize 20 years ago i was living living in Melbourne and I made a move that was a little bit motivated actually by yourself

from years beforehand. I shaved my head, right? I don't remember this. That's not the thing I'm apologising for. All right. I look pretty good, all right? All right. I'm just saying.

You're just bragging at the moment. Can I? Well, perhaps that's apology number one. All right. All right. I'm just saying. You're just bragging at the moment. Can I? Well, perhaps that's apology number one. All right. Okay. You shaved your head. I shaved my head. And in part, I remember having the confidence to do this because I remember some, I don't

know, five or six years beforehand, us driving along in the Renault one day and you saying to me, you should shave your head. You have the kind of head that would look okay like shaven and i said no i'm not going to shave my head you're like oh well i think you could pull it off and i thought you were crazy at the time but jump forward five or six years i'm in living in sort of inner city melbourne and i'm working um in a ministry you know and with you know young kids around the place and post-release people in community work and all that.

And I'm feeling pretty gritty and hardcore and everything. So I shaved my head and I had a... Just to be more gritty. I was feeling gritty that day. Gritty. I don't know. It just kind of suited. I didn't want to be doing my hair all the

time i just was like i'm gonna shave my head now's the time to do it so i did and i was kind of i had a goatee and i had an earring and i thought i looked pretty tough yeah i look i mean let's be honest i look pretty good but i mean just between you and me as my agent i'm telling you yeah i look great all right we that's that's the picture we should have sent to unexpected records for your I mean, just between you and me. As my agent, I'm telling you, I look great. All right. That's the picture we should have sent to Unexpected Records for your HindHond promotional pic. That's right. That's right.

That's right. All right. But anyway, what looked good sort of hanging around the sort of inner city streets of, you know, Collingwood in inner Melbourne didn't look quite as good in a tuxedo for my friend Matt Nesta's wedding. Oh, no. Yeah. And to make it worse, I distinctly remember a few months

out from the wedding talking to Matt on the phone and saying, look, you know, is there any way you'd like my hair to be? And he says, no, no, no, you are as you are. This is him inviting me to be a groomsman in his wedding, right? Yeah. And he goes, look, if anything, I mean, just have your hair like you used to have it, you know, sort of scruffy and, you know, just normal, whatever. But for some reason I didn't do that.

I didn't grow it out. I didn't do anything deliberate. I just kept living life normally. And I turned up and I was in their wedding as a groomsman with a nice tuxedo in a lovely, lush Adelaide, you know, wedding. Oh, looking like an idiot. So you weren't shaved. It was just partway grown out at that point.

No, no, it was still shaved, but it just looked awful. Okay. And so I just want to say, Matt and Esther, I'm so sorry. Like, I'm just so sorry. Because it's only really a few years afterwards, when I was sort of at their house and looking at some wedding photos that I was sort of struck by the goose, you know, to the side in the tuxedo going, oh, no. Oh, what did you do? Who's that gritty groomsman? That's right.

Oh, that's a Dutch rap artist we had performing at the reception. He did the first dance song. Epper wonder, epper wonder. Epper wonder the sofa shop. And at the end of the night, the slow dance, the first dance of the couple. It's the chilled out version of Epper wonder the sofa shop. Yeah, but I was looking at it going, oh, I regret it. And, you know, these are good friends and I go to their house and stuff.

And let me tell you, there are no group shots of the wedding up on the wall, you know. No. All right. So here on a grovelling apology, the first episode, I simply want to say, guys, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. And there you have it.

Man, what about you? Do you have something? You know, the first thing that springs to mind is something I've already apologised for on another podcast. But it's the first thing that comes into my mind and I still feel bad about it, so I'm willing to apologise for it again because I don't know if you know about this, but an event that we organised for the Hello Internet podcast was we showed Star Wars. We had a public showing of Star Wars that David Prowse came to

who played Darth Vader. Oh, right, yeah. And we sold tickets for it and it was raising money for charity. And it was a really lovely day. And David Prowse came in and sat like in the centre of the audience with us. There must have been about 30 of us or so. And then we played it in this kind of little small meeting room that was darkened and decorated with Star Wars stuff.

And I was in charge of getting Star Wars and giving it to the zoo staff to play up on the projector. And I made sure I downloaded the so-called de-specialised edition, which is like as close to the original as you can get on the internet with all George Lucas's fiddling taken out. Yeah, yeah. But what I didn't realise was on my computer i had also downloaded the the very very ruined version of star wars like the the latest one where he just poured all the different yeah crappy effects in it to ruin it yeah and because i just had downloaded that another

day because i needed a little clip of star wars or something and when i put star wars onto my usb key i accidentally put that version on and didn't realise. And about five minutes into the film, when the first stupid animals and stuff start appearing and we realised it was the wrong edition, I realised this was the special showing of Star Wars that I'd arranged and I was showing like what no true Star Wars fan would show. And my blood just ran cold. It was like, you know, when you make a terrible, terrible mistake, you know, and you realise you've made it and you can't fix it and it's just this, oh, it was such a terrible feeling.

And every time I think about it, I'm just filled with shame and embarrassment about doing it. And David Prowse died recently and And it was like, it just reminded me of what I'd done and that I've never, I never got to apologise to him. And it just like immortalised my mistake. I still, still wish I could go back in time and fix that. It was like, oh, it was apparently Grey told me, my co-host on the Hello Internet, like, because he's a big Star Wars fan too, that first moment when the wrong effect came up on screen he had to leave the room i think he had to pretend that he went to the toilet and he

had to just go to the go out the room and just rest and take some deep breaths for a moment because he was so mortified by it too and it wasn't even his mistake oh no so was your feeling of of in front of these people was like oh i've showed it's going to appear to these people like i really love the special effects or it was just yeah yeah maybe or it was just it made me look stupid and it was just it was just embarrassment it's like it's like if you were having like a beatles fan convention and you went and played the beach boys by mistake or something like it was yeah yeah yeah it was terrible i'm still so sorry about it. It makes me feel terrible.

Anyway, it's done now. You're forgiven. You're forgiven now. Let me just say this. I have no power to forgive you, but I'm just saying. No. If it makes you feel better. It will live with me forever.

I love the idea. If anyone wants to tell us what you'd like to apologise for, give us an email, subreddit, Twitter. We'd love to hear. Maybe we'll tell some tell some more stories that is a great podcast idea tim i like the idea of calling it mia culpa oh yeah that's a good name yeah but but a groveling apology is also a very good name so i'll give you that one it's so i mean we've all got them haven't they things you've said to people

and you wish you could take it back as particularly those public faux pas and things. It's like, oh, yeah, it's gold. I mean, I could do 100. I could do 100 myself. Great idea. I could do three or four, but you could do 100. That's good. Yeah. Tim, sponsor time.

Oh, excellent. Awesome. This is what I've been looking forward to all day. Once again, we get to strut our stuff as clothes horses for the men's apparel company, Musk Ox. Oh, yes. We love it. The weather is getting better at the moment, by the way, at least in my hemisphere. So this is a great chance to be more of an outdoorsman and maybe get your Musk Ox on.

Musk Ox is a men's outdoor apparel company that creates high quality functional outdoor clothing to support you on your adventures all right the thing i love about muskox is it's really good for just like around the house or at work it's kind of just smart casual enough to work in almost any environment but you can then seamlessly transition to you know walking up a mountain or going mountain biking or something like that. It's this, this closes in this perfect middle ground. It's just the sort of stuff I love to wear. It's so funny you say that because I was going to say that the weather is just turning.

The seasons are just turning colder in the southern hemisphere here in Adelaide. And it's the perfect time to get some muskox because it's so cosy and warm and comfy and stuff. It's always a perfect time for muskox. By the way, muskox is named after the legendary beast, the muskox, noted for its thick coat and the strong odour emitted by males during the seasonal rut. This musky odour has the effect of attracting females during the mating season.

Do you emit a strong odor during your seasonal rut, Tim? Oh, yes. Don't you know it? My personal recommendation, what I've been wearing is my quick dry quarter zip. I happen to have it in lake blue, although I was looking at the website earlier and I'm thinking of getting the exact same thing in maybe black, navy or grey or all three, if you're listening, Musk Ox. I definitely want to get a second one. And I also, I haven't got one yet, but I've also been eyeing up their panoramic T-shirt and their Musk Ox diamond T-shirt, which I also think just catch my eye. What have you been wearing, Tim? I've forgotten what it's called.

It's that one, that really comfy one it's got the zip and it's got you put your thumbs through you know it's that could be all of them that could be anyone black it's it's black well there you go you've got it from tim there it's awesome that's the that's the kind of quality promotional work that muscoxen pay us for. What's it called? Hang on. Oh, look it up. Can I just say, well, a couple of things. One is, firstly, I do love this top.

And I've been wearing it because it's got colder. I've been actually wearing it, like, at home and around the home and going out to walk the dog and just being at home and stuff. Yeah. I absolutely love it. It's so comfy. I mentioned it at dinner. It came up at dinner tonight.

And my wife said, I want one of those. And do they do women's? Same as my wife. She should just get one. Well, that's right. I said, well, you just get one. I said, they don't do women's. It's like a quality men's outdoor apparel.

And she says, well, I want one. Then she says, look, you look great. You know, like, I definitely want one. And I was like, oh, you know, I wasn't wearing it for the look. I was wearing it for the, like, the comfort because it's so comfy and warm and soft and stuff. And she goes, you look great. Sounds to me like you don't need to emit a strong odor during rutting season now. If you're wearing your musk ox top, sounds like you just got the look.

during rutting season now, if you're wearing your musk ox top, sounds like you just got the look. She's never complimented what I looked like before I got the musk ox. But that led to a conversation about whether, because I never, ever wear things that don't have a collar. I've always got shirts on and this doesn't have a collar. And I said, well, I wouldn't wear it out so much because I like things with collars. And they were going, no, it's great, it's great and and the kids didn't vehemently disagree which was

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I found it. It's the Foundation Quick Dry. I've got the black one. Is that the same one that you've got? No. I think mine's different. Although I looked at the foundation and thought, oh, that looks good too. It is good. It is good. I mean, it looks good on. So. It is good. It is good.

Yep. All right. I mean, it looks good on me. I don't know how it'll look on you. All right. It's time for Spoon of the Week. Well, Brady. Hmm. Well, Brady, today's spoon is really quite interesting

because I've chosen it because it's cute. And I've not said that about any other spoon before now. Can a spoon be cute, I hear you ask? Well, yes, it can. This spoon today is in many ways quite a conventional spoon. It's got a stem and, you know, like a scoopy bit and all the rest. There's no information on the back. But the head, is the head, what do we call that bit up the top?

The top of the handle where the sort of the enamel ornament part at the top there. Yes, yes. That's got a little bunny rabbit and it's so cute. It's got a beautiful green colour as well. Oh. And the words next to it are rabbit flat. Yeah. And I think this is like a good brand.

Like it looks like it could be a logo for something. Like musk ox. That's right. That's right. I'm going to start a clothing brand called Rabbit Flat. I looked up where Rabbit Flat is because initially I thought and assumed it was near Kangaroo Flat, which is a suburb of the city of Bendigo,

where you and I once spent a few days. Remember we went to Bendigo when you were researching one of these stories? It's a lovely, like, goldfields kind of town um in the state of victoria in australia beautiful place yeah kangaroo flat is also can i just add legendary because um that's where dustin martin is from who's a wonderful player with the richmond tigers but that's not related to the spoon directly rabbit flat though isn't near kangaroo flat rabbit flat is actually in the middle of the Northern Territory and it's quite an interesting place.

It's pretty much just a roadhouse in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the Northern Territory. So this is like in the middle of, you look at the map of Australia, the top half in the middle, and it was actually quite legendary for being the most isolated road house in australia which is saying i'm looking i'm looking i'm looking at a map and it really is really in the middle of nowhere yeah i was reading up it used to be this it was basically just a road house and just there so people can get enough fuel to keep driving if they're driving all the way

through um and you could camp there overnight. It used to be run by a couple, Bruce and Jackie, but they actually shut it down. So the roadhouse is actually gone. It closed down about 10 years ago. Oh, no. Again, though, increases the value of the spoon. That's right.

Well, see, here where it says here, this is all from Wikipedia. I don't know how many roadhouses are on Wikipedia, but this one is, it says after 41 years of service the Farans decided to close the roadhouse to all services except weather reporting and the sale of souvenirs and preserved goods

oh right, so you can still get spoons you can't get petrol but you can get spoons that's right people are such fans of their spoons that they've decided, well, hang on, this is the going concern, not fuel. So it could be that if you were going for a drive in the middle of the Northern Territory, and instead of going directly up from Alice Springs to Darwin, you decided to divert off for about a day's drive, you could get to Rabbit Flat to buy a spoon. I say it'll be worth it for that cute little rabbit spoon.

It is a cute little rabbit spoon. Yeah. I like it a lot. Nice. All right. So, nice spoon. I'm assuming your parents didn't go to Rabbit Flat. Someone else bought this for them.

Yes, I do think it is. My half-sister lived in Darwin and did some driving, and I'm assuming they got it as a gift for my parents. Okay, makes sense. Makes sense. Makes perfect sense. As always on Spoon of the Week, we have... Well, we have the giveaway section here of Spoon of the Week is expanding because we give away a spoon, an unmade podcast spoon that we've had specially forged, and we're also going to give away some of our new Spoon of the Week collector cards. So we have lots of giveaways to do right now. It seems appropriate, Tim, our randomness method should probably be rabbits.

I'm going to release thousands of rabbits there into your office. You can hear them bouncing around at the moment. Oh, yes, here we go. And I've written the names of all our patreon supporters our stakeholders onto the rabbits so if you want to grab one rabbit to start with tim just grab one hang on missed it hang on no give me they're fast hang on you really do overact this section don't you got him got him i've got him all right i got got him. There he is. And written on this rabbit is the winner of a spoon this week. We're going to be sending a spoon to Dayung in Massachusetts in the US.

That's right. That's what it says. How did you know that? I can read it. I can see it. I can see it on the webcam. Now, Tim, I need you to grab 10 more rabbits to decide who we're going to send some collector cards to. Can you gather

ten up in your arms there? Without overacting it? Now they're jumping into my arms. Hang on, here we go. Yeah, that's good. There's a second. Here we go. Hang on. Get them in there. Here we go. Okay. And here are the ten winners of

Spoon of the Week collector cards. Clemens from Switzerland, Nick from Belgium, Patrick from the Netherlands, Brenton from Canada, Amanda from California, Arendam from England, Lewis also from England, and a third rabbit in a row from England. We have Syed also from England, SH from SH in Australia, and Victoria from Ontario in Canada.

You will have a handful of Spoon of the Week collector cards coming your way. And stay tuned for more news about these collector cards because it's a bit of a big deal. Nice. You can let those rabbits go now, Tim. All right, here we go. There you go. Back to your warrens Tim we have another sponsor

Storyblocks are back Storyblocks, we love our Storyblocks Oh nice Storyblocks is a library, an online library Of video footage Audio and pictures This is all stock material that you can use in your own creations just by paying a monthly fee. A small monthly fee.

I love Storyblocks. I use it all the time. It's become an essential part of my day-to-day work as I edit videos and make podcasts. And if you're doing anything creative or fun or anything that requires you to need this kind of media, you should definitely go to storyblocks.com slash unmade and check them out. Really good stuff. Now, Tim, I love coming up with creative ways to showcase Storyblocks material.

You do. We've been doing a lot of quizzes lately, a lot of quizzes. I thought I'd give you a rest from the quizzes this time, but I've put together eight little pieces of stock material, all taken from Storyblocks, and each one of them features a model or actor or whatever you want to call the person wearing glasses, spectacles. I always consider you to be a bit of a connoisseur of spectacles. Yes.

And I thought maybe you could run through these eight. I've given each one a letter. If you go through A to H h just quickly tell us this is story blocks stock material each one has someone wearing glasses give us a quick rundown of what you think of these glasses a oh a bit of a pretentious pose glasses a bit too round and bit too big actually to be that round b or nice plastic oh c i like these i love some old man plastic glasses they're not no d no no not having that all glass and steel e yeah no i'm not big they're very thin i don't think he really needs glasses if they're that thin now now this plastic see-through one i'm worried about them tom hanks i saw wears them and i'm a little bit concerned.

These are nice. I like that colour. That's nice. Then H, these are perfect. These are like big adult Harry Potters. Round plastic. Oh, very nice. All right.

So which was the best one? You liked the last ones, did you? H, the thick Harry Potters. Oh, the big thick harry potters yes nice yeah what was wrong with f the clear tom hanks's yeah i look i i've seen a bit of them around and i don't understand them it's like people don't want to be seen wearing glasses they're they're they're um is it translucent that what you call it transparent transparent don't be dissing tom hanks don't be dissing tom no no

this is what i'm saying it was very confusing to see him with them i was wondering whether he's they've been forced upon him or something like that um they did suit him but that's because it's kind of tom hanks you know the man could do anything that's right that's right it was just like on the news or something i saw him with them and i went went, oh, that's interesting. I have to follow that up. But I've seen people with these around the place, and I'm not convinced by them at all. Well, why don't the people out there go on to Storyblocks, go to storyblocks.com slash unmade, so they know you came from here,

find your favourite photo or piece of stock video of someone wearing glasses, and send it in, and Tim will tell you what he thinks. We only want Storyblocks glasses, though. That's kind of the deal here. Storyblocks.com slash Unmade. They do have more than just glasses, by the way. All your stock footage needs can be met on Storyblocks. All right.

It's time for my podcast idea, Tim. Oh, here we go. My podcast is called... I haven't got a great name for it yet, actually. I've been tossing up a few different names. But for now, let's call it The Presents Podcast. And this is a podcast all about gifts and presents, where you can reflect on and think about gifts you've received

for your birthdays or Christmas or anniversaries over time and just talk about your favourites because I think everyone has been given a present at some point that's like memorable or touched them in some way or horrified them in some way. You know, we all have present stories and I like the idea of a podcast where people can talk about some of their all-time favourite gift receiving or gift giving moments. Wow. Can you remember any classic presents you've received, Tim? Oh, yes, I can. Yeah?

What's your favourite? The first one that comes to mind would be my first BMX bike. Oh, me too. Me too. Yes. Tell me about your first BMX. How did you get it? I remember walking out on Christmas morning to the back room where, you know,

our tree was and stuff, like the family sort of room, and suddenly there it was. And because it was a bike and it's inside, it makes a real statement, you know, there it is just next to the sofa. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, wow, it really does feel magical. Like Santa must have just made it appear there because it's like, otherwise how is there a bike in the house?

Like how could that possibly happen? Like when a bird flies into the classroom at school. What? What's going on? Yeah. So it was red and black and it was awesome. It was nice. Yeah, big special moment.

I have to say, it wasn't even brand new. Like looking back, Dad had bought it at a garage sale. Like it was actually had a bit of wear and tear. We weren't very wealthy. So I kind of look back on it and I go, it meant so much to me and it wasn't, you know, the most expensive brand that I knew from, you know, magazines and stuff. It was just that it was mine and there it was.

Oh, love it. Love it. I think I've told the story of mine before. It was a Christmas morning and we finished opening our presents. And I already was pretty happy with my haul. And then I'm making myself sound really rich now after tim's like you know garage sale bike story and then and then and then mum and dad said oh can you go out the front and get the newspaper and i i went to the front door and opened the front door and there was my red shiny bmx like

standing at my bike wasn't allowed inside obviously it was outside on the front on the front step but just opening the front door and having this bike sitting there, like, right in my face, shiny red. I was like, oh, my God. It was incredible. Incredible. The other Christmas present that made a real impact on me was my dad. Well, my mum and dad. But for some reason, I associated it with dad.

Dad gave me a Swiss Army knife. And I really loved that, partly because I just love Swiss Army knives because they're like, you know, gadgets and that appeals to my nerdy brain. But also it's a real sort of coming of age present, isn't it, to be entrusted with like, you know, a knife, like, you know, a grown-up item like a knife. Yes. And it made such an impression on me that still to this day,

I just love giving Swiss Army knives as presents. And every time like a nephew or someone has a birthday, I'll always say the first thing I'll say to my wife is, you know, do you think he's old enough for a Swiss Army knife? Is it time? And we always make that judgment because I always, I've just, whenever I want to give a present, it's always the first thing I want to give because I just remember how much I loved receiving it. I love giving Swiss Army Knives. Can I say, if the people from Victoria Knox are listening, we'd be willing to couple a knife of the week with our spoon of the week.

If they're willing to sponsor or just supply some cool knives. We're up for that. We're up for that. I've gotten really into Leathermans now, though. They've kind of almost overtaken Swiss Army knives as my favourite kind of knife. So maybe the Leatherman people want to do a deal with us as well. We're open to both, you know. All right.

So talking about presents that you've got that are really meaningful, is it also a place where people talk about what they're hoping to buy or what they're hoping to get or thinking of? Well, I always thought, this is the next part of my idea. I think a great finale to the show each time would be to give the guest a present. Ah, yes. And I'm hoping that this episode is going to be published on Tim's birthday, funnily enough.

We're right on Tim's birthday. So, Tim, I have a present for you. Oh, oh. Oh. Yeah. All right. Is it here? hang on there's a bmx in my office wow man we're gonna do a live we're gonna do a live present giving wow so tim i've got i've got it here on my desk so i took a picture yeah and i took i bought this on ebay the other day and i thought you would like it. Well, you might not like it. I like it. So I thought it would be good fun for you.

So if you go on your thing, and I'll send you this. This is a spoon I bought on eBay, made in America. I thought you could add it to your collection maybe. Oh, look at that. Oh, wow. It's an Apollo 11 spoon with the Apollo 11 moon landing logo on the top. Isn't that, what do you think of that? That's cool.

So the Apollo 11, which is the Apollo that went to the moon, it has its own logo? I don't think I've ever seen that before. Interesting. To me, it's amazing that you wouldn't have seen it, but of course you haven't seen it. The logo, it has an eagle holding like an olive branch and its talons coming down to land on the moon.

And the logo, interestingly enough, was actually drawn and designed by one of the Apollo 11 crew, Mike Collins. But funnily enough, the astronaut who didn't land on the moon. But, yeah. So do you like that spoon? I do. I like that a lot. I like that a lot.

All right. Well, you've got to make a decision now because I've got another present for you here. Do you want to stick with that or twist? Would you rather a different present? Because that was a joke. I know you couldn't give two tosses about the moon landing. I would love at least one spoon in the collection to be from somewhere really cool rather than rabbit flap at Foster and Blake's entrance.

Look, let's be honest, Tim. I'm not willing to give you this Apollo 11 spoon because I love it so much. So you're going to have to take the other present. All right. Is it? Okay. So the money or the box? All right.

I'll go. Well, the box or the other box. Can I just before we go on, can I just say, I think it's amazing that the moon has come up with its own souvenir spoons already. I mean, we've only been there since 1969. You can't go anywhere. You can't go anywhere without a souvenir spoon. If you can get one in Rabbit Flat, you can get one on the moon.

That's right. Rabbit Flat is no longer the most isolated roadhouse Alright Tim, so here we go, here is your actual present First of all, I'll send you the wrapped picture, here it is So here it is, wrapped up, you got that? You see that? Oh yes, yes, nice piece of string, yes I'll tell you what's in it Tim, it's a book Because I know you love books, right? Nice piece of string, yes. I'll tell you what's in it, Tim. It's a book.

Because I know you love books, right? But this is, I have to admit, this is a book you already have. But I know you love, like, first editions. Because having a first edition of a book makes it more special. So that's why, even though you have this book, don't be disappointed. Because I knew you'd want a first edition. So I'm sending you this picture now. And it's also like comes in a special box, which is unusual for a book.

So here are two more pictures. Tell me when you got them. Oh, there we go. Look at that. So this is a special boxed version of none other than Tom Hanks's book, Uncommon Type. And it comes in a special box and it's got a couple of postcards with it as well. But if you look closely, you'll see it also comes with a letter because this isn't just a first edition, Tim. This is like a zero edition.

This is actually a review edition that gets sent out to like journalists and people beforehand, before they even do the first edition. So this is beyond the first edition. And I know you love this book and you love typewriters and you love Tom Hanks. So I thought you might appreciate this zeroth edition of his book, Uncommon Type. Yes, yes, that's awesome. Can I just point out there are also glasses frames on the cover, which are not clear. They're nice and black and concrete. That's brilliant. That's nice.

I like that a lot. In fact, I'll just send you this other picture, because if you look in the front, like stamped on the first page, which you should tell me when you should arrive in a second. There it is. I've just sent you the front, and it says there, it even has it as proof in the front. It says, free proof copy, not for resale. it explains how this is a special proof copy of the book don't sell it so

so make sure you've seen this kind of thing before yeah yeah we used to get them for cds when you review them before the album you know was yeah the shops and stuff yeah yeah that's cool very good you're liking this present yeah i am loving this loving this present. It's actually quite special. I sent you this other picture because on the next page over, this copy has been signed by Tom Hanks. Can you see? There's his signature there on the front, T. Hanks. Yes.

Which I thought might impress you. Oh, that's great. A signed zero edition of Uncommon Type by Tom Hanks. In fact, I think that's not impressive enough. I think we can go one better. So I've sent you another picture. And it's not just signed by Tom Hanks. It's signed by Tom Hanks with a personal birthday message to you.

Oh, that's great. Oh, look at that. Do you want to read it? That's great. Oh, look at that. Do you want to read it? That's cool. To Tim, happy birthday. You made it to 2021. How? Tom Hanks.

Oh, that's brilliant. Oh, that's fantastic, man. Lovely. There you go. Well, that's fantastic. Now I'm taking a fair bit of credit here. It's pretty obvious what's going on because long-term listeners will know that one of our civilians, one of our listeners,

a chap named Truman happens to be a member of the Hanks family. It's Tom Hanks' son. Yes. So, I tapped him up and he asked Dad, said, Dad, what have you got? And apparently Tom Hanks had this lying in his office. He said, oh, how about this one? It's a British review sort of copy. And he signed it for us and sent it to us.

Oh, what a champion. Legend. So thank you to Tom Hanks for doing it, but also thanks to Truman, who's a top, really nice guy. And he went above and beyond the call of duty as a civilian there to arrange this present. So there we go. There's one for the book collection, Tim.

That's pretty awesome. That's pretty awesome. That's pretty awesome. Thank you, Truman. Thanks for taking the time to do that and being so generous with it. You've been a cool guy before and you're a cool guy again. You're a cool guy. Yeah.

He's a top lad. I'm going to reward him because seeing he gave us a signed copy of his dad's book, Truman, I'm going to send you a signed copy of my dad's book. I rang my dad last night. My dad's written a book all about the Vietnam War and his experience there with his dog. It's a best-selling book.

It's called Trackers. Yes. And dad's going to do a signed copy of Trackers and we'll send that over to you in the US, Truman. So, you know, we keep things even. You give us your dad's book, you get my dad's book. If only my dad had a book. That is an awesome gift.

That is fantastic. There we go. Thank you, Tom. Thank you, Truman. Thank you, Brady. You're welcome. And thank you, the listener. Thank you, everyone in the world.

I hope I'm not leaving anyone out. All right. There we go. Memorable Gifts, the gift podcast. Just a little reminder, my birthday, June 18. Looking forward to it, Tim. That's right. That's right.

June 18. And you say you like stuff from Apollo. Let me just write that down. All right. Now. All right, Truman, who else you got? I'm so glad that gift giving is over. I've been so excited about it.

I've been so nervous about it. My hands were shaking. I was so excited. That is cool. I like that a lot. I just love the packaging and all that kind of stuff that comes with it as well. Oh, yeah. All that little ephemera.

Yeah. That's cool. Nice work. Nice work, man. I like this podcast idea. Let's do another one next time as well. This is one we should make, man. We should definitely do this.

A present for Tim every week. I'll tell you what, I wouldn't have any problems getting you to turn up on time then, would I? That's right. All right. Look, I've been thinking about the choice. I've made my decision. I do like the spoon. I'm not saying I don't like the spoon, man.

I've decided to go with the book i'll have the book truman sent it to me from america so that i could spring my surprise i will now put it in the post and it will make its way to your collection where are you going to put it i'm worried you're not going to take good enough care of it oh you know i take care i'll take care of it yeah i've actually got a bunch of cool stuff that i'd like to display to some degree i don't know about this i'll i'll take good care of it but I've actually got a bunch of cool stuff that I'd like to display to some degree. I don't know about this. I'll take good care of it. I'm thinking glass case, preferably filled with an inert gas.

Like temperature controlled? Yeah, yeah. Like a wine fridge or something. Yeah, full of argon so there can be no chemical reactions. Somewhere near the spoons or some sort of special collection. Oh, hopefully. That'll make sure you don't lose any more spoons. I'm so worried about you losing spoons.

I cannot tell you. It keeps me awake at night. Ah, they're all round here somewhere. If they all find their way to the cutlery drawer. I love that you brought up Tom Hanks during our Storyblocks ad as well. It couldn't have been more perfect. You just played into it, you know, that he's like, you know, the patron saint of the podcast.

Oh, legend. Yes. Absolute legend. All right. Now, I promised we would end the show with another Sofa Shop cover in a foreign language. Obviously, people have been inspired by our Dutch versions. And here is a message that comes from Yanis in Greece.

Hey, Brady and Tim. While listening to the Sofa Shop reunion episode, I picked up my guitar and fiddled along with Tim and Quentin. An hour later, I present to you the Greek translation of the Sofa Shop jingle. My music production experience is not too great, and my guitar skills couldn't compare to the hind dogs. So apologies shop jingle. My music production experience is not too great, and my guitar skills couldn't compare to the hind dogs. So apologies in advance. Thank you both for making civilian household chores easier.

Regards, Yanis. Now, before we play it, I won't read the lyrics in Greek because he wrote them down in Greek, and I couldn't read them even if I wanted to. But here is the translation back to English. It says, the sofa shop you will need on the sofa sit down you two we made you a sofa fabric and curtains match in the sofa shop you will not get spent which in greek means you will not waste your money yeah

do not move before you see the sofa shop so here here it is now in Greek by Yiannis, the sofa shop. We could just end with it there, or do you want to talk about it? No, I haven't got my words in yet so we can't end there all right what are they go on then secret words i was i was hoping just so people know just so you know i was hoping for a dramatic cold ending there people would hear the hear the song finish and just think what a calm nice way to end the podcast class classy brady and tim are classy they just they don't have to they don't have to trample over the ending just let it just drift out but no what are the words tim oh dear i think that well no can i just say that's a good version? That's pretty nice. That's going to be hot.

Like as hot as chilli. Okay. Are we done? Don't pin this on me. Yeah, so, no, that's fine. All right. So pin and chilli, yeah? Yeah.

Okay. I love the way you get them in so seamlessly. I'm so terrible. And I thought maybe you could run through these eight. I've given each one a letter. Okay, person number one holding... No, A, man. A, sorry. Yeah.

I'll go back. I'll go back and do it again. All right. Person number one Sorry Alright go again Here we go Okay person A Bit of a pretentious pose

Glasses are a bit wide I think A bit too round Person number two