The Unmade Podcast - 82: Tim's Coffee Machine

Episode Date: May 5, 2021

Tim and Brady discuss his new coffee machine, a KFC warning, two new colonelships are bestowed, a comic book cameo, final tweets, a spoon from California, judging faces, and a professorial Sofa Shop cover addiction.

Tim, I've become a little bit obsessed in the last few days and I've become obsessed with your new coffee machine. Well, you're not the only one there. For people who don't know, Tim has been talking for, I don't know, years it seems like about this coffee machine he's been coveting and saving money for and thinking about getting. And he finally got it the other day and he sent me a picture and i was i don't know what i was picturing i think i was picturing one of those little you know ness cafe things that you put little pods into but basically tim has bought the delorean from back to the. It's this huge silver steampunk, incredible, huge machine, which I hope makes incredible coffee because it sure as heck takes up a lot of space on your kitchen counter. Do you want to tell me about how special it is? It's i'm i kind of get my mind onto something if i'm gonna buy something i want the right one and i did a bit of research and of course i consult john on this you

know my famous consultant person that i go to and even though he didn't buy this one this sort of goes a bit beyond what he has even though he's a he's got he's a real coffee connoisseur. This is the one I wanted. I like the look of it. I like what it does. And so I held out until it was the right time to buy it. It's like, what about the size, though? Did that require any negotiation on the wife front, having something that big on the kitchen counter?

No, I mean, we're lucky we've got massive like counters in our place like our kitchen you know sort of is is 360 really so there's lots of room and down one end is you know a good place for it but you know i don't i don't to be honest i mean you point at something you know on your ipad and say i'm thinking of this one and it's just tiny any idea of how big it is when it arrives you needed to put something next to it for scale like a building or something it's like oh look there's a lego man for no no that's a real person standing next to it i've come up with a list tim of ways to help people understand how big your coffee machine is And how epic it is

It's not that big I'm going to read some of them to you Are you ready? Go Tim's coffee machine is so big That the South Australian government has banned its usage Between the hours of 4pm and 8pm To prevent power outages across the

state tim's coffee machine is so big that hover is now selling domains ending with dot tim's coffee machine nasa has revealed ambitious plans to land a probe on the surface of tim's coffee machine tim's coffee machine is so big its purchase had to be announced on the surface of Tim's coffee machine. Tim's coffee machine is so big, its purchase had to be announced on the New York Stock Exchange. Tim's coffee machine is so big, you can't visit it without a passport. Tim's coffee machine only makes black coffee because light cannot escape its event horizon.

Tim's coffee machine has its own podcast and it's been invited to give a TED talk. Tim's coffee machine has been selected to host the 2032 Olympics. Tim's coffee machine has a Netflix deal. I think everyone's coffee machine gets a Netflix deal these days. Tim's coffee machine is so big, its instruction manual has its own wing in the Library of Congress. When Tim's coffee machine hit an iceberg, the iceberg sank. Breaking news, Tim's coffee machine just got wedged in the sewers canal.

Tim's coffee machine is so big, it uses the Eiffel Tower as a nozzle to froth milk. Tim's coffee machine is so big, it has its own souvenir spoons. And even the coffee machines on top of those spoons make great coffee. own souvenir spoons and even the coffee machines on top of those spoons make great coffee tim's coffee machine is so big it has a blue tick on twitter i'm still waiting for my blue tick by the way my coffee machine has a blue tick if anyone else wants to give us any one-liners about how big

tim's coffee machine is uh send us an email or a tweet or a Reddit or whatever. We'd love to hear your Tim's coffee machine is so big lines. Look, I should tell people what brand, you know, like model it is, I guess, so they can look at it up. But it's the Ex word office in the title of the model probably indicates the kind of context it's supposed to be installed in. You're sure it doesn't say small developing nation? Oh, man. That's funny that you find that so intriguing. Look, I have to admit, it's bigger than I thought.

And look, when it arrived, because I ordered it over the internet and it arrived at the post office and I went and picked it up, I went on my scooter, my Vespa, and that was a mistake. Because it's bigger than the Vespa. Tim loaded his Vespa onto the coffee machine and drove the coffee machine home. That's right. So I left my Vespa, called an Uber and the coffee machine and I went in the Uber. Right.

Home. And then I walked back later that night and got my Vespa and then went across the city in that. So, but yeah, the coffee machine is, it was big. I remember walking up the, this is really quite big. And then I put the city in that. So, but yeah, the coffee machine is, it was big. I remember walking up the, going, oh, this is really quite big. And then I put it on the counter. It's like, you know, when you put something up on the counter, it's suddenly really tall. Like it's taller than you tall. You're like, oh, heck.

Is it everything you dreamed of? Is it making the coffee you dreamed? Are you living the life that you thought you would live as a result? Yes. Yes, it is. And I know a few weeks ago, I talked about the virtues of mediocre coffee. But I have to say, in that case, I was talking about the virtues of mediocre cafes, you know, that don't put on a big song and dance. And I'm happy to just not have coffee as the event.

But I have to say, it makes fantastic coffee. It's really great. John came around the other day and gave me some tips on a few things, and it's tasting even better. Wow. Wow. You want to share any of those tips with the audience, or are they, like, secret things between you and John?

It's more just how to get the grind, right? Because I bought a grinder. Oh, no, you are turning into a grind your own beans guy. Well, you have to. You have to have coffee. Coffee comes from beans. Yeah, but you drink milk. It doesn't mean you've got a cow in your flat. Well, actually, I don't make my own beans, but I do grind them. You can buy ground coffee from the shop. I know you can. You can buy ground coffee from the shop.

I know you can. I know. But it's old and it's not as fresh. So it's a bit like saying you can buy mashed banana. But, you know, well, why wouldn't you get a fresh banana and open it yourself and take a bite? You know, like, I'm not sure you can buy mashed banana. That's a really interesting analogy you chose there. Tim leaning back on the old mashed banana cliche.

Yeah. So, look, yeah, one's for decaf, one's for, you know, regular caffeinated. And, you know, there they are. I mean, you know. Parish notices. Just a quick parish notice here from our subreddit. This comes from Agmalagros on the topic of bad kfc after you and others have discussed bad kfc purchased in oxford this says the local kfc at robina which i have since found out is in queensland this wasn't included in the message the local kfc at robina yes has always

been average i'm always disappointed when i choose it according to the local community facebook page rabina is indeed agreed upon to be average but the next store in narang is apparently much better so the advice was to drive the extra 10 minutes each way for the kfc feast so for any people living in queensland in the rabina narang area go for narang not robina oh that's interesting according to ag malagros on subreddit i've actually spent a huge amount of time in robina of all places right with it's straight there's a very large church there called new life church yeah and it is a church that's so large it kind of has its own theological college, which is kind of a campus. It's New Life College.

But our college sort of partners with it. And I've gone up and done a lot of teaching. I've literally lectured and stuff there. But I've never had KFC at Robina. So anyone listening from New Life, firstly, anyone in Robina, go check out New Life Church. You might really enjoy that. But don't check out the KFC. Don't anyone in Robina, go check out New Life Church. You might really enjoy that. But don't check out the KFC. Don't check out Robina KFC.

That's really helpful intel. Very helpful. That is. I mean, I didn't know you had such close links with Robina. This is really going to, this could save your bacon one day. It could. Next time you're lecturing there, they're going to be, Tim, how come you've booked a hotel in Narang?

It doesn't make sense. Yes, it does. Look, it does. Trust me. Next time you're lecturing there, they're going to be, Tim, how come you've booked a hotel in Narang? It doesn't make sense. Yes. Look, it does, trust me. It's like, I've been looking. It will be funny next time I'm in Robina and I just go, look, we'll drive past the KFC and I'll have far more information about it than my guests, you know, the hosts rather, would have imagined that I would.

I believe you have a parish notice, a bit of follow-up from your recent birthday present episode. Oh, look, yes. Can I just, I'm still recovering, really, from the wonderful gift, the wonderful present that, well, you gave. But, of course, the person behind the present, if you like, was the great Truman Hanks, who managed to snaffle for me and get signed Tom Hanks' book, Uncommon Type. And not just a first edition, a very even rarer zero edition, and sign a kind message and send it to me. And I tell you, I've been thinking about it and I've been thinking my gratitude for Truman, legend, is vast.

And I'm just thinking something like this surely, surely qualifies him to become a Colonel. Oh, a Colonel. Colonel status? How can he not? He's contributed on a few occasions to the podcast now, some of our finest moments, and he's definitely a person of good character. I'm going to second it. I'm going to authorise that and stamp it through.

If you weren't going to support that, I mean, what would you have to do? For goodness sake. I mean, really. Fair enough. Yeah, I think well deserved. So congratulations, Truman. Colonel Truman. Colonel Truman, he's in.

Colonel Truman, which has a nice ring to it, doesn't it, Colonel Truman? It does. I'll get the certificate all drawn up and stamped with the wax seal, as I always do, and sent over to the United States, where it can proudly hang alongside Dad's so-called oscars that's right yeah not making tom a colonel no no what did he do he just he just gave away his spare book and scribbled on it he didn't even do the postage hang on a second i want i i just want to step in and clarify that was a wonderful gesture he did however however however truman i think was the was was the real agent in the midst of it colonel truman

so he's deserved it and you know tom wants to come up with something to help us definitely no colonel shit for tom not well not yet anyway let's just see what happens. What else are you going to send? Congratulations, Truman. Top man, top man. One other thing, Tim, a little bit more incredible news. Are you a comic book fan? I don't know. I've never really known you to be a comic book fan,

unless you've managed to keep it secret from me for all these years comic book fans don't tend to keep it secret too like there's boxes of them spread around the home yeah of of people into comic books look i was never when i was very young i used to read like a superman or something like that very very young but only fleetingly. The ones comics I got into were Tintin and Asterix. Those were the two that I passionately loved. Yeah. I never really got too into comic books, but I spent a lot of time in comic book stores because comic book stores would sell a lot of other stuff I did like.

Yes. Like Star Wars stuff and all that. So, I feel like, I feel very comic book adjacent, even though I wasn't a huge reader of comic books myself. You were there for the hardware, like the cool merchandise up on the shelf. And the collector cards and things like that, you know, which are often sold in comic book stores. Oh, yeah.

I haven't got our Spoon of the Week cards into a comic book store yet, but, you know, never give up. No, no. into a comic book store yet, but, you know, never give up. No, no. Anyway, despite that, it turns out we do have a civilian, a listener, who is quite a big deal in the world of comic books. This is a chap named Eric Larson, Eric J. Larson, who I'm a little bit ashamed to say I hadn't heard of before,

but he's a comic book artist, writer and publisher. And according to Wikipedia, he gained attention in the early 1990s with his art on spider-man for marvel comics i have heard of spider-man yes that and in 1992 it's huge yeah oh yeah he's done all sorts of amazing stuff but in, he was one of several artists who stopped working for Marvel and founded a company called Image Comics, where he launched his own superhero series called Savage Dragon. And Savage Dragon's a really long-running series now. Apparently, it's the longest-running American full-colour comic book that features a single artist and writer. So, he's like a real kind of, you know, auteur here of his comic book, Savage Dragon. Yeah.

Anyway, the most recent episode, episode, book, instalment, I don't know what you call it, number 258. Issue? Issue, that's it. Volume? Yes, issue. Issue, maybe. Issue, yeah.

Number 258 of Savage Dragon. I highly recommend people get their hands on a copy of this. Because Eric has dropped in, well, not just an Easter egg, dozens of Easter eggs into this issue about the Unmade podcast, including loads on the cover. It's amazing. It's amazing. It really is amazing.

Yes, I can hardly believe it. It's real. I'm holding the cover it's amazing oh it it's amazing it really is amazing oh yes i can hardly believe it's real i'm i'm holding the cover here and the cover which features two of the characters this big tiger character called walter i think and amy dragon who's the dragon's daughter i think i could be wrong about all of this yeah but they're there on the cover leaning against a lamppost the lamppost has the street sign Halifax Street on it Wink wink There's a sofa shop sign There's a Tim KFC sign And a car with the license plate hindog

Yes That's just on the cover This can't be a coincidence surely I mean is this like And minor spoilers Because the episode is all about Amy running away from home with Walter the Tiger. And they get stranded out in the snow and they're a bit cold and upset. And then they stumble across this pool house at a home in the snow.

It's not entirely clear to me whose house it is, but it appears to be you and I who live there. Because there's a whole page of you and i watching a film on tv bmx bandits and then and then we go out to the pool house that walter and amy have broken into and they're playing and in our pool house swimming in the pool and amy's eating a bucket of kfc and walter is do you want to say what wal's wearing, Tim? He's wearing, now, this is where it moves beyond coincidence. Sure, he's wearing the Fanta shorts, which is... I can't believe it. I can't believe it.

The Fanta shorts have had a new lease on life. And watching through the window, clear as day, is you and I, me wearing a Honey Prawn honey prawns t-shirt yes and you wearing a shirt that looks just like the type of shirt you'd wear and i don't know how eric knows this but he's just he's captured your look perfectly like it's almost like he's been spying on you it looks so much like you and you i think at least twice in your very short appearance in the comic say, that's right, twice. And there's all sorts of other Easter eggs in the comic. There's an objectivity T-shirt.

There's a Richmond Tigers T-shirt for you. There's just like, it's fantastic. I can't. It's brilliant. I can't believe it. There's a couple of things that I really like. Firstly, I love that we're just sort of like Bert and Ernie, like cohabitating, like we're just sharing this house.

Like it's not clear what our relationship is because you do refer to your daughters like your daughters. So, you know, we're obviously maybe one of us is just at the other one's house having KFC and watching BMX Bandits, which sounds like something we do. Yeah, yeah. You're right. There is a kind of Bert and Ernie vibe to it,

that we're just kind of these two dudes that hang out together all the time. Bert and Ernie who have like a pool glass house in the, you know, like a pool around the back, a swimming pool and stuff. I hope it's my house and not your house because it's an awesome looking house. Yeah, that's right. Except for the tiger wearing fanny shorts in the pool. What? That just enhances the house.

Can I say, I never thought, when my mum bought the Fanta shorts in 1990 at a second-hand shop on Dawes Road in Adelaide and brought them home. And I thought, oh, cool. Like, you know, and I wore them, you know, to my youth group that night. And someone said, hey, they look pretty cool. So I started wearing them everywhere. Yeah So, I started wearing them everywhere. Yeah. So, I started wearing them everywhere. I never thought they'd end up in a comic like this.

Firstly, you framed them for me on my 21st birthday, which was legendary enough. Yeah. But, yeah, here they are. It's amazing. They truly are immortalised now. And it just occurs to me now, yeah, the Fanta shorts have been in your possession longer than this comic book has existed. And this is like the longest running single author comic book

in American history. Oh, man, it's incredible. The second thing I really love about this, and I won't tell people exactly where, is that, like, eric being a legend contacted me and got a couple of secret words from the girls and the secret words are in here in the text which i was considering the words they chose i was pretty impressed that he managed to get them in but yeah oh like full marks reminder again, Savage Dragon, issue number 258.

It's going to become an absolute collector's item. Get your hands on a copy. Four copies are out of circulation already because Eric has sent them to us as signed editions, which I believe you're having framed on the wall, if I'm not mistaken. I am. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, I'm going to treasure this.

This is really quite incredible. Because when you're young, you look at a comic and it's like an amazing world. I mean, can I just say, the art is amazing. The art is really quite incredible. And it's not just one picture. It's like page after page after page. Oh, I don't know how he does it.

I don't know how he does it. Look, I know we've already bestowed a colonel ship already in this episode, and I don't want to give them out willy-nilly, but surely putting us as characters in a comic book gets you express entry. Yeah, it just qualifies. It just qualifies. Absolutely, absolutely qualifies. You are framing it and putting it on the wall. Absolutely, absolutely qualifies. You are framing it and putting it on the wall.

No, that's right. That's right. I did beg for a copy that was signed from Eric because, you know, I thought it was so amazing. So, Eric, I know you've already won a few honours in the comic book world and, you know, you're a bit of a big deal. But even in your wildest dreams, I'm sure you didn't imagine becoming an unmade colonel but just to show that dreams do come true you're in two colonel wow two colonelships in one episode and we're

only we're only halfway into the like how many this is going to be a one heck of an episode what else are people going to do they're both in california too so i think there's a bit of a power base forming over there there is that's right a glut of colonels if there's ever a war there's going to be a lot of conflict as to who's in charge over there because there's quite a few too many colonels in the army army, a bit like chefs in the kitchen. We're a bit top-heavy, you think. What do you actually think of that depiction of us, like how we look when we look?

Because it's quite teasy. At first you just see silhouettes of us, and then you just see parts of our body, and you can't really tell who we are. And then finally there's the big reveal, and you see us full on. What do you think? Oh, I'm flattered by it i think it looks great looks looks better than me like that's for sure yeah the only thing is

we're but the trousers we're both wearing seem quite like they're too big for us like they're very there's too long for us it feels like both of us our trousers are quite kind of uh like ruffled down the bottom but it was a bit like that in the 90s, though, wasn't it? Like it was, you know. Yeah. This is sort of us in the 90s. That was during our Dylan and Brandon phase. That's right.

And the Fanta shorts just look fantastic on Walter the Tiger. I mean, he was born to wear them. He was. Tigers everywhere will be envious. That's for sure. Can I just say, the other thing I like is I like your, well, it's not a beard, is it? I guess it is a beard. It's more than stubble, but it's nicely shaped.

Do you refer to it as a beard? I don't know what I refer to mine as, but definitely comic book Brady has a more fulsome beard. In that shot where you just see like a tease of my beard while we're on the sofa watching tv and you still don't know it's me the beard looks a little bit more yeah a little bit more fulsome than my actual beard but but when you see the full my full face later on when we're looking through the greenhouse that looks a bit more like my beard yeah so you've got more than say a george michael stubble you know what I mean? Right. But you don't have, like, a hipster barista slash, you know, woodcutter sort of thing.

You've got – it's nicely shaped. And I tell you, it looks like you, the one, the page where you see – it doesn't have page numbers. No, there are no page numbers, no. Okay. It does look like you. You're not happy about that? Not happy with the lack of page numbers? You're thinking of rescinding that colonel ship are you you can

see how well acquainted i am with comics that's right i like that you didn't realize there were no page numbers until you'd committed to the sentence and you said like on page number oh hang on okay well well i guess you don't need page numbers when you can identify pages as the one where there's a tiger wearing Fanta shorts. I'm sorry, could you be more specific, please? Awesome work. Brilliant.

The one where there's a tiger wearing, all right. You can hear I'm putting the comic book back into its protective slip like a true comic book fan would. Yes. Yes. There we go. In she goes. And into the Hall of Fame.

Podcast idea. I've got a podcast idea, Tim, and it also involves a little bit of kind of follow up from our last episode. Ooh. In our last episode, I made mention of an astronaut named Michael Collins. He was one of the three Apollo 11 astronauts. And I mentioned him in the context that it was he who designed the Apollo 11 logo, the mission patch. And I said, oh, it was designed by Michael Collins. We published that podcast.

And within an hour or two of publication, it was announced that Michael Collins had died. Very sad. He was one of my favourite astronauts. He was a really interesting man who, besides going to the moon on Apollo 11, you know, did lots of other interesting things later in his career. And it was very sad news. And it was very sad news. Can I just say, knowing who Michael Collins is, is one of those little facts that I'm proud to have, but I only have because I'm your friend. Like, I've known who Michael Collins is for basically the same length of time that I've known you.

I know little things about him that I otherwise would never have known, but they're just sort of Brady facts that I have. Like, for instance, the fact that he has the record in history of being the one human who's the most geographically isolated from all other humans because he was the one who went around the other side, the dark side of the moon. And at that moment he was... Have I got that right? This is where you correct me on something that I only know through you. I don't know if any of the other later command module pilots beat his record i don't know the exact sort of you know uh altitudes of the orbits i don't know if michael collins kept the

record or one of the other five snaffled it it's a good point actually i must that's right i forgot they went to the moon again didn't they so other guys would have done it too. Do you want to hear a good Michael Collins fact? What? He was born in Rome, Italy. Oh, right. Interesting. Really? Do you think it is interesting? He may have driven a Vespa as well then around Rome. Who knows? Who knows? Did he ever make it to the moon himself? I've asked you this before. No. But he never went back on another mission. He never flew in space again after that mission. Wow. Of course, for those who don't know, Michael Collins didn't step on the moon. Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong walked on the moon. Michael Collins was like the getaway driver up above waiting for them to come back. And he, of course, would have had the

unenviable task if the eagle didn't take off successfully from the moon of having to come home on his own. Luckily, that never happened to anyone, but that would have been quite the trip home, wouldn't it? If his crewmates had been stranded on the moon. Anyway, here's my idea for a podcast. And I'm going to admit, it's a little bit dark and macabre, but I think it's also interesting. And it's a riff on the old famous last words.

And my idea is called famous last tweets. And it's looking at the final tweets of people who die, which is something I sometimes do when someone dies, whether they're famous or not famous. If I become aware of it, there's some part of me that finds it hard to resist and go back and look at what the last thing they posted on social media was. I know that's weird, okay? I know it's weird, but I've since learned it's a pretty common impulse. I don't think it's weird. I think, yeah, that's interesting. Yeah, that's a way of pondering the person and thinking about them.

It also makes you ponder your own life a lot. You know, you think, what's my last tweet going to be? Every time you do a tweet, you think, is that my last? What if that was my last? Would I be happy with that as my last tweet? But sometimes it makes your tweets better. Yes. It's a shame you can't write a last tweet and have it there. And then all your other tweets that you make are all just sort of positioned in a second last all the time. So that your last, bit like your last will and testament, it's always out there, even though you're making sort of bad decisions in the meantime with your money the pinned tweet serves that

purpose to to some extent i think oh yeah but you are right you could also schedule a tweet but that that runs the risk of it you know suddenly appearing in timelines after you've died which is a bit weird as well but oh that Oh, that's true. You could send them out there and they appear in the future. Oh, yeah. Michael Collins' last tweet. His family posted a tweet on his account after he died about his passing. So I guess you could call that the last tweet. But of course, he didn't post that.

That was his family saying, we're sad to say, you know, that dad died. But Michael Collins' last tweet says, you've seen the hashtag world in my window. Now I want to celebrate what the world looks like through your windows. Snap a picture of your favorite view and use the tag hashtag world in my window. Let's celebrate the beauty in the world around us. And Collins posted a picture of the lunar module coming back to the command module with the moon behind it that he famously photographed

as Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin returned from their famous walk. Very famous, iconic picture. So it's nice that the final picture he tweeted was, you know, such a great image that he was responsible for. I think that's a good way to go out. Rather than just sort of of his, you know, dessert. Yeah, or like, yeah, oh, God, I hated the last episode of Love Island. Or like, yeah, oh, God, I hated the last episode of Love Island.

You don't want that to be you. Another kind of last tweet that I find even more poignant, but also a little bit more macabre, is when you tweet something that is associated with how you end up dying. A good example of that was actually a racing car driver called Antoine Huber, who died in a Formula 2 race last season or the season before, I think. He died in a motor crash. It was very tragic. He was a really promising young driver. And his final tweet was about qualifying for that race. You know, he was tweeting about, oh, I got a red flag when I was using my second set of tyres and I was on course for a really fast lap.

But let's prepare for the race. And he's really positive, looking forward to the race. And there's a picture of his car and details of his sort of qualifying times. That has like this extra tragedy to it, doesn't it? Because it's so like hopeful and open-ended. And yet, you know, that it ended so sadly. And yet, you know that it ended so sadly. But I always find that a really interesting thing, too,

when those final tweets somehow link in with one's demise. There's a foreboding to it. That's there. Chadwick Boseman, the actor, his Twitter account also has a tweet like announcing his passing that was done by other people, obviously, which is the most liked tweet in Twitter history, interestingly enough. But his actual last tweet, I think, is interesting and tinged with a kind of sadness because the one that he tweeted was, it was just saying, yes, at Kamala Harris. And it's a picture of him with the future vice president.

He was really positive and, you know, it was a hashtag about voting and his hopes for her to become the vice president. And he actually died just not that long before the election so he never got to see it happen but his final tweet was this kind of positive looking forward to this this historic moment i found that interesting too it's very natural when someone you know um or that you've interacted well that you do know you've interacted with or talked to or something even if you don't know them well, even if they're not a family member or close friend, you hear that they have died, you do naturally go back to the,

I just saw them last Tuesday and we talked about this. You know, you do go back to that last conversation. Yeah. Or a text message, yeah, a text message from them or an email. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. They somehow feel precious and you want to hold on to that last bit, even though it's

only one and it may be an inconsequential conversation in every other way compared to, you know, months beforehand and other conversations. But it's that last tangible evidence of, wow, this person was alive and then they've crossed that line. The other place where that comes up in this digital world is deleting someone's contact from your phone when they've died. I can never bring myself to do it. Oh, no, yeah. I mean, I never delete contacts anyway.

I've got people there from all over. Yeah. I've never thought about that, yeah. I've actually never thought about that. What a downer of a podcast idea I came up with, hey? No, it's a rich, meaningful one. It's good, yeah. Yeah, but that's not what the Unmade podcast is about. No, it's a rich, meaningful one. It's good. Yeah. But that's not what the Unmade Podcast is about. Well, richness and meaning. Right now, all I'm doing is thinking,

now, how the heck am I going to segue to this Hover ad? Today's episode is brought to you by Hover, the domain registrar of choice for anyone in the know. Tim and I are both huge fans of Hover. We appreciate their support of the podcast. All my domain names are either registered with Hover or the ones that aren't, I'm gradually moving them over to Hover, which you can do very easily using instructions on the Hover website. So check that out. If you register your domain now with Hover and go to hover.com slash unmade, hover.com slash unmade, you'll be able to get 10% off your first purchase of their already very low prices. Can I give a shining example of why you should have a good domain name? Yes. And that is, I recently registered on Hover the domain name spoon.cards

because I've made like a webpage on our website, on the Unmade website to explain things about the cards. And I want to send people there to go and look at it, but it's really hard to explain how to get there. Oh, you know, go to the Unmade podcast website and then go to this menu or go there or you give like a really clumsy detailed website but all i did was registered spoon.cards which is fun and funny to say and i've created a diversion so anyone who goes to that url automatically just gets diverted to this to

the appropriate page of our website but it's got got its own domain. And it's so much easier on things like podcasts and tweets and things to have this nice, clean, elegant, does what it says on the tin domain name to send people where you want to send them. And I reckon that's a great reason for people listening to get the domain name that suits what they're trying to do, what they're trying to achieve. It could be like, you know, a CV or a business or a party or a project or an invitation or just something you're doing that has a web presence. Get a nice domain name. They're cheap as chips to buy that you can say and share more easily, just like spoon.cards. Do you agree? Nice. That was just a magnificent speech Fantastic, yes, well done man

It was no I have a dream, but it did the job It did the job, that's right Well done, that's great I literally have nothing to say, I'm just listening Hover.com slash unmade, check them out Alright Tim, it's time for Spilled of the Week. Here we go.

A very special Spoon of the Week this week. It is. Very special. It is. Unprecedented. Unprecedented. Because although our canon spoons, the main spoons we love to talk about, come from the Hein family collection,

of which there are still many, many more to explore. We are, for the first time, going to feature a listener-contributed spoon. I've invited people to send in spoons that they're willing to donate to our collection in exchange for being discussed on the show, perhaps. And it has happened. They're starting to come in. And today we're going to look at and talk about one that's been sent in by someone called Peggy. Peggy. Peggy.

Cool name. Let me take it out of the box. Can I just say, man, I'm looking forward to your Spoon of the Week voice. You need to bring... Oh, okay. Slightly more gravitas than you naturally have. All right. What are you saying, more gravitas than I naturally have?

Well, that you naturally sound like you have. I know you have gravitas, but you need to put it all into your voice at this particular time. Okay, Tim, I'm just taking it out of the box now. Well, now you're just being silly. You've got a spoon of the week is not something to joke about. It's wrapped in paper. I've got it out now. It's in my hand.

And my goodness, what a spoon it is. So let me explain it. Yeah. This spoon, very ornate and dainty stem. And at the top, the handle is a silver metallic windmill with the interesting trait that the sails on the windmill rotate. I'm turning them in my fingers now. So the windmill turns. I don't think you could make it turn by blowing on it. Just let me check that. Now you have to just turn them with your fingers. And the other thing that's very interesting is the scoopy bit, as you would call it, or the bowl, is not really a bowl. It's kind of like a shovel. It's got a- it's a big-

it's like a- it reminds me of like a snow shovel rather than a- rather than a bowl. Very interesting shape. Have you seen a picture of it there, Tim? I have, yeah. Well, you don't sound impressed. Oh, well, I'm a bit annoyed, to be honest. I mean, it's your first spoon and you've got moving parts on it. I don't think that's fair. I'm sorry. I mean, that's adding interesting parts. I mean, yeah, anyway. There is clearly a lot of jealousy going on here, but let's...

It just feels all wrong. It just feels wrong. You're like, I can't picture the spoon. I haven't got the spoon in my hand. I'm not doing the voice. You're trying to do the voice. You're mocking the voice. I haven't got the spoon in my hand. I'm not doing the voice. You're trying to do the voice. You're mocking the voice. I'm so sorry.

Let me read Peggy's letter. Maybe that will make you change things. Because once you hear Peggy's letter, you're going to feel bad and feel like you've got to be nice again. Are you ready for Peggy's letter? All right. Dear Brady, I've enclosed a souvenir spoon for the Unmade Podcast collection. I've enclosed a souvenir spoon for the Unmade Podcast Collection. From what I've seen online, it appears to be a souvenir sugar spoon from a city in California called Solvang, which is well known in California for its Danish-style architecture and history.

It's not a particularly unique spoon on its own, though the windmill blades do rotate. My husband, Tim, inherited it with his mother's silver service when she died. My husband died in 2019 and he was a big fan of both the Unmade podcast and your objectivity video series. We used to cast your objectivity videos on our TV and watch them during our Sunday breakfast each week. I think he would get a kick out of knowing his spoon is now in your possession. I'm a proud stakeholder and it makes me happy to make a small contribution to the fun. Sincerely, Peggy. All right.

Well, fair enough then. That's fine. Yeah. Good choice for Spoon of the Week. I admit it. You got me there. Nice work. I'm sorry there's so much content about people passing away on this week's episode,

but Peggy, that's really, really lovely. Absolutely. And the spoon is lovely, and it is now going to be a cherished part of our Spoon of the Week collection. Yes. And may even appear on a collector card at some point. Well, well chosen. Well chosen.

Good spoon. You're right about the scoopy bit it is really quite shovely isn't it like it is i feel like i mean how much sugar would you put in your coffee if yeah i mean that's a that's a spoon that should be it feels like i should go with my my coffee machine to be honest like i could scoop coffee into my machine with it i mean to be fair that is about a brady amount of sugar right that's about i'd need about four of these to put the amount of milo in that i like to have in a drink but oh yeah yeah yeah that's right you're talking about my coffee machine if you needed a machine to make milo yours would be you know like a 1970s computer it would be half the room it would be definitely

it'd be like the death star to make milo that's no moon it's brady's milo making machine it's even got that big round satellite bit where it'll all come out imagine just firing a huge stream of Milo at Alderaan. So, Tim, we have to now announce a winner of an unmade podcast souvenir spoon. And by the way, I think we also have to send one to Peggy. Yes. In exchange for her spoon. Good call. So, Peggy, thank you for the spoon you sent.

And in exchange for that, Tim and I will be sending you an unmade podcast authentic souvenir spoon to replace the one that you've surrendered to us so generously. But we also have another random winner to be chosen from our stakeholders, our Patreon supporters. How are we going to randomly choose this week, Tim? Got any ideas? Milo tins. Milo tins. With their names. Okay.

Yeah. I have before us here thousands and thousands of Milo tins Milo tins With their names Okay yeah I have I have before us here Thousands and thousands Of Milo tins Gosh that was quick That was quick Oh no I just

I just always have Thousands of Milo tins So from one of these I'm going to open One of these tins at random And inside will be The name of a Patreon supporter So here I am

Opening it Job done And the winner is Kylie from California and inside will be the name of a Patreon supporter. So here I am opening it. Job done. And the winner is Kylie from California. Peggy's in California too, I think. So we have two spoons heading off to California today. Kylie from California, you are the winner of an Unmade Podcast souvenir spoon. And now I have to open 10 more tins

to find out who our winners are of a handful of Spoon of the Week collector cards. So I'll just pop open 10 more tins to find out who our winners are of a handful of Spoon of the Week collector cards. So I'll just pop open these 10 tins. And the winners are... Albert from Rhode Island, Liam from just down the road from me in Bristol, Andrew from Victoria in Australia, Lisa Mc from Ireland, and Felipe from South Yorkshire, you are all getting Unmade Podcast trading cards coming your way. Congratulations, guys. Your collection has begun.

We haven't had any two-time winners yet of the trading cards, and you can win the trading cards twice. And I thought it would happen because there is like an algorithmic bias towards like, you know, bigger supporters and more generous supporters and stuff. But still, it's been very distributed so far. No duplicate winners. Maybe next week.

I can tell you're pretty excited about that. Oh, well, I didn't have anything to say. Like, yep, that's right that's good you know me and algorithms um i use blockchain technology to pick the winners do you want to do an idea tim i do i do want to do an idea but i'm not even sure what my idea is i just think there's an idea in here somewhere that you can help me discover okay because this this is the unmade podcast even this idea is unmade so that's really going to stripping things back to basics here next week it's going to be

like i haven't got any words there are no words this is the the hint of a glint of an idea right i find something incredibly fascinating and i'm sure others must find this too and it is how people's faces shape our perception of their personality. Right. Like when you're sitting at a cafe having coffee and looking and people walking past and you're looking at them and you kind of feel like you can get a sense of who they are just by looking at their face. Yeah.

And, of course, you don't know. You're judging a book by its cover, right? You don't know. But, of course, you do get a sense and you just is that person you know an angry person is that a loud person are they an extrovert or an introvert there's all these sorts of things going on but even looking at someone's face more more closely it's funny how you come to perceive what they're saying through what they look like when they're saying it and i find this intensely interesting like it's like a bias.

Like, I'm wondering, is there a podcast idea in exploring this idea or a particular face? I know there's a visual element there too. Yeah. And then talking about what you believe a person is like or people guessing who a person is and what they appear to be. I kind of know what you mean. And, like, I don't find that so much once I know the person or once I'm speaking to them. But the best example is like someone you see at the gym for two or three years, but you've never spoken to them. Yes.

And then one day, for some reason, you finally speak to them. And they're like, that person is nothing like what I'd built in my head. Like, you know, they're funnier or they're more serious or they sound different or I have had cases of that. People I've just known by sight for a long time. And then when I finally met them, everything was different from what I expected. You're right, because this is so much about like what people look like. I'm not instantly thinking, yeah, this is naturally a podcast, but you're right. There is the germ of an idea in there. I do like the idea of a podcast idea where you talk about someone, what you first thought of someone and then what you thought of them later. Like, what first impressions?

What was my first impression like compared with now? You know, long-term friends, people like us. What was my first impression of Tim versus what I think of him now? I imagine sometimes it's hard to disentangle what you know of the person later from that first impression. You know, I'm sure the first impression gets polluted over the years. I can't really remember my first impression of you, for example, because it was a long time ago. And I know you too well. I see the germ of an idea in there, but I don't, I'm not sure.

I'm not sure about the face thing. One thing I find just on the, you're talking about the gym and looking at people for a long time. It's even funny, firstly, when you hear their voice for the first time and it's like, oh, right. Oh, okay.

Or you try and guess their vocation. It's like, oh, I didn't see them as an accountant. But also I've done the thing where you're dropping the kids off at school and picking them up for school in their junior sort of younger years. their vocation it's like oh I didn't see them as an accountant but also I've done the thing where you're dropping the kids off at school and picking them up for school in their junior sort of younger years and so you're forever seeing the same other parents faces all the time and some of them you know from kids parties and chatting and others you don't know and you don't know them and year after year you don't know them but they're intensely familiar and you know them and then

and then you see them on like parent night or at some concert and they're with their partner and you suddenly realize that two different people are married to one another and you just see them at different times and it's like well i didn't i didn't see them being together what are they doing together it's like oh no you know they've been married for 10 years and yeah you had no idea that it's like oh but but you know they're tall and and this this person's like this and it's funny they they become couple, but you didn't think of them as a couple and you would never put them together as a couple based purely on, I don't know, the way they walk and stand and dress and the smile on their face. It's just, it's very, very interesting to me.

Remember, people are doing the same thing with you. I know, I know. People think, hey, he's making the scene. He's a cool, groovy guy. He's an actual human. I always thought he was a Muppet. I always thought he'd look better with a shaved head. In a tuxedo.

No, no. Well, I think you're on the start of something there, Tim. I thought maybe you brought that one to the table before it was cooked. Well. Maybe you didn't grind those coffee beans quite enough. But I like your thinking. I think you're on the start. It's been on the list for a while and I can't take it further as an idea, though. I did think of a name.

We could call it FaceTime. What do you think of that? Not bad. Not bad. You're so fixated on the face, though, when there's so much more to people. Like you said, they're tall, they're short, how they walk, how they dress. I don't know. I think maybe you need to let the face thing go a bit.

I think the face thing is interesting because it says so much. But even a person, they talk about a person has an honest face or the way they say things and how how their face looks and but i'm also interested in the perceptions the biases really the prejudices you have for someone like and i guess cartoons are like this aren't they you draw someone's mean and so they're drawn mean, looking mean. When, of course, you know, how do you draw a character you play into a particular cliche? You know what I mean? And so you sort of put that onto people.

They might be lovely, charming people, but maybe they've got the face we always associate with being, you know, mean. You know, or happy or sad or whatever, or jolly, you know. Do you think you have a nice face or a mean face or what do you think people would think of your face when they see you? I've had lots of feedback over the years from people who have known me from afar and then gotten to know me. Because when you do lots of speaking and stuff, you know, or from students who are at the back of the class and then finally, you know, you're chatting to them a few months down the track. They tend to, I think because I have deep set eyes, right? My eyes are like back in my head a long way and they're behind glasses.

And because I have bad vision, I, and I sort of frown a bit when I'm thinking. And then I look down when I'm walking. And I think people think that I'm angry or in a rush or look annoyed or something. And I'm just fine. I'm just like thinking about something, you know. So I think my face looks more serious. They don't get how playful I am or how funny or something. I mean, because all we do is joke around.

To me, that's ridiculous. But I guess I see the exact opposite extreme of you where we're incapable of saying anything serious to each other. I see the exact opposite extreme of you where we're incapable of saying anything serious to each other. I agree that you have deep set eyes, right, when your glasses are off. But I think there's something about glasses that automatically just brings your eyes to the front. Like because your eyes are suddenly represented by the glasses and the glass, your eyes come forward. So you don't appear to have very deep set eyes to me except when you take your glasses off and then i'm like oh my god how far back are those guys

oh it's the grand canyon like it's almost like a shock because to me your eyes are always front and center your glasses bring them to the front so that's true like windows yeah from afar you can the thing behind the window appears on the window here. What about my face? Your face, I mean, you have that sort of good straight nose, which gives a serious look to you. So you look thoughtful and serious and that kind of thing. So it kind of suits you in a way because you are a thoughtful person. I can't remember what my first impression was of you. That's too far.

You dropped dead handsome obviously so um but i yeah i i yeah serious you look serious that's what you look and yeah of course you know we're always joking around and all that so that's not what i read into your personality but there are you know you're a person that takes things seriously and facts and, yeah. You have different expressions too as well. Like we all have different expressions, but they, you know, you explain things and nod your head in a certain way, you know, holding it sideways and, you know, oh, yeah, yeah.

And, yeah, so you have, yeah. I'm now like doing an impression of you here at my desk talking to a microphone. You make me sound a bit bird-like with this sort of long beak-like nose and little sideways head movements. That's right. You sort of tap, tap, tap like seed on the ground a lot. Tim, I want to talk sofa shop covers and I've got sort of a special edition of our sofa shop covers. I want to talk sofa shop covers, and I've got sort of a special edition of our sofa shop covers. These are obviously, you know, people make their own versions of the sofa shop jingle. I'm sure people who listen to the podcast are familiar with this concept by now.

And I want to share some covers that have all come from one person. And that person is a physics professor. And it's a physics professor that will be known to people who know my work and that is professor philip moriarty he's a nanoscientist at the university of nottingham who i've collaborated with for probably over 10 years now he's in loads of my 60 symbols videos he's in numberphile videos he has appeared on the unmade podcast as a guest we spoke to him quite a while back when Tim came to England. So Tim knows Phil Moriarty as well. He's a very, he's an excellent physicist.

He's a great communicator and passionate communicator of science. But he's also a big music fan. And I recently was doing some filming with him in Nottingham. And I was just talking to him. He asked after Tim, I think, and how the podcast was going. And I told him all about what was happening with the Sofa Shop covers. And I played him a few covers and Phil then got a bit obsessed by the whole thing. Here is an email I got from him. Hi, Brady. I gave it a shot. Attached. A lot of fun to do. Allowed me to break out the

aerodrums again. It's been far too long. This is a prog rock version that Phil made. And he said, drums again it's been far too long this is a prog rock version that phil made and he said i've not gone full-blown concept album just yet but i wanted to capture some of the pomposity of the best of prog in this reimagining of the jingle in future i may well borrow a page or two from douglas adams inspired hitchhikers novels and expand out the piece to a triple album based on time-travelling sofas from Philip. So here's a prog version of The Sofa Shop from Professor Phil Moriarty. The Sofa Shop is your only stop for the sulfur you need The sulfur shock, yes, come and drop in On Halifax Street

We have a sofa designed for you Choose your fabric, match your curtains too Ain't it gonna cost what you think it will? We have a sofa designed for you Yeah, that's good. That's smooth. Yeah, yeah. Really impressive. I's smooth. Yeah, yeah. Really impressive. I like that.

I like it. I just put that on to listen to, to be honest. That's great. Well, you can if you like. Well, I can. I will. I will. Yeah.

So then anyway, I associate Phil with heavier music than that. And then I got another email from Phil a few days later. It says, you'll be the death of me brady i stayed awake until the wee small hours mixing this most musical fun i've had in years it starts off in the kaios territory josh holm of queens of the stone age fame's first stoner band and then ends up as a ministry um homage no more sofa madness from me i promise i could get seriously addicted to this and i need to go cold turkey now so here's this sort of stoner version of the sofa shop from phil We should add at this point that Phil, his love of heavy metal is so strong that he wrote a book about,

wasn't it using heavy metal to explain physics? Is that right? Yes, yes. I'll link to it in the notes. Yeah, yeah. So he knows what he's doing there. And that's good work. So anyway, Phil promised to stop.

But like any addict, I think he was looking for more. And then anyway, he didn't email me about it again. And I thought, oh, good on him. He's, you know, finally getting back to doing some physics, which is probably what he should be doing. Until I got another email, this time from Alan Stewart, Alan the maestro, who makes a lot of music for us and who also knows Phil and has worked with Phil before.

And I got this. It says, hi, Brady. I hope you're well. Philip Moriarty and i have recorded a sofa shop cover in the style of genesis phil collins because we could phil did the guitar work and backing vocals enjoy from alan so obviously like needing his next hit and knowing he couldn't email me again phil has gone to alan he said let's make another sofa shop jingle and they've uh and i'll point out when i looked at the file the file name has version seven written on it so this

was obviously their seventh version of this of this of this song here is a phil collins genesis version of the sofa shop from phil moriarty who supposedly had given up and alan stewart the sofa shop is the only star for the sofa you need sofa shop sofa shop Go and drop it We have a sofa designed for you Choose your fabrics, match your curtains too There you go. What do you think of that? That's, yeah, that's actually really great. That's epic.

Yeah, nice work. The Phil Collins drums definitely are there. So, Tim, while I was writing up these notes to read to you for the show, I got a ping and checked my email. Literally while I was preparing this. And it was Phil. And it says, hi, Brady. This is far from complete.

The attached is just a very rough guide track. No bass for one thing i'm working with a couple of physicist friends who are big metal fans and i have no idea when we'll get it finished in any case thought you might like to hear part of the rough version don't think you've had the sofa shop melody with twin guitar harmony before smiley face i don't know whether to thank you or curse you for introducing me to the sofa shop, Philip. So now Phil's roped in other physicists who are supposed to be doing physics. And all they're doing is collaborating on sofa shop covers.

And here's just a little small taste of some epic collaboration they're all working on. What do you mean you can't be the Bill? It's gonna cost what you think it will now. If we do the science, you'll be the first in line. I think we've created a monster, Tim. Oh, dear. There's no physics happening in the UK soon. It's just...

No. Yeah, this will be looked at as a moment in science history Soon. It's. No. Yeah. This will be like, this will be looked at as a moment in science history when the UK science went on a downturn. That's right. That's right. Yeah. It's a boon for the music departments of universities, though.

They're getting more interested. Anyway, we may need to start a section soon. That's just a sofa shop covers by Professor Philip Moriarty, if this keeps going. So he did three or he's working on the fourth there. He's working on a fourth. Alan Stewart's probably done more because he's done a few of his own and he helped out with the Hein Hond and that. There's a couple of other people that have contributed multiple versions. I know who you are.

I know your names. I'm not going to say them on the show because it just encourages you um but uh yeah and of course we have a youtube channel dedicated to sofa shop covers people can go and listen to i'll link that in the notes thank you everyone unmadefm at gmail.com if you want to send us a cover can i put a few challenges out i've been listening there's two i've been listening to two bands recently, just this week a little bit. One was Pearl Jam. So, I'd be interested in a sort of a Pearl Jam sort of voice, which is sort of the grunge and, you know, deep voice kind of a Pearl Jam version, I think would be interesting. Also a Smashing Pumpkins. I've been listening to some old Smashing Pumpkins this week and I would love to hear a Smashing Pumpkins because I think also

that's a very distinctive sound. If you could do that well, then that would be impressive. Do it, people. Can I give a little guidance to people, though? Don't make it sound too much like the original songs of those bands because it starts tripping up all the copyright filters on YouTube. I've been having all sorts of problems. YouTube. I've been having all sorts of problems when people make covers that are too close to original bands. I keep getting all these messages saying, you have used content

by, you know, the Beatles and stuff. I'm like, no, I haven't. You have plagiarised Two Piece Feed. Hey, what's happening with Two Piece Feed? Have you had any more gigs? No, we haven't. No, no, we did. There was another wedding the other day i was

officiating at this one though uh rather than performing and um look the music was okay but again i was like oh geez i really should have been over there on guitar and yeah um colonel katrina on piano you know they i mean they were a band doing pumping out amazing soul versions but still it wasn't quite the same we We'll have to, we are available. And finally, did you have to smuggle any secret words into today's episode and have you done so? I have, I have, they're in. It's another.

You did them organically. Yes, yes. For only, I think the second time in history, I've just put them in there. They're in there and you don't know where. Just like secret herbs and spices enhancing the flavour of this episode. That's right. That's right.

Nice one. Do you reckon we thanked him enough? Did we thank him enough? Man, we just made him a colonel. Oh, that's true. Yeah, that's true. That's true. What more can we do?

We've exhausted all our powers. We have no... There's literally nothing we can do. Well, yeah. You can send him the deed to your house. I don't know. Pound of flesh. We're really, really, really grateful.

Yeah. I'm now going to go and sacrifice my firstborn child.