The Unmade Podcast - 93: Lord of the (Lost) Rings

Episode Date: September 9, 2021

93: Lord of the (Lost) Rings Tim and Brady discuss a new cover, Tim's honking laugh, listener complaints, rings, spoons, terrible shops, and more complaints. Hover - register your domain now and get 10% off by going to hover.com/unmade - https://www.hover.com/Unmade Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/unmadeFM Join the discussion of this episode on our subreddit - https://redd.it/pkykek Catch the podcast on YouTube where we often include accompanying videos and pictures - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkIRMZDOKKKs-d14YPmLMxg USEFUL LINKS Hear many of the Sofa Shop Covers here - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRNeH_Kpl1ZgpeiNeJ-oiAQ A previous episode of complaint episode - https://www.unmade.fm/episodes/special-wonderful-complaints Broken Hill - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Broken_Hill Pro Hart - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pro_Hart Pictures of Spoon of the Week - https://www.unmade.fm/spoon-of-the-week Send your own spoon by following these instructions - https://www.unmade.fm/send-us-a-spoon A recording from Tim's terrible shop - https://www.unmade.fm/press-play You're So Vain - who was it about? - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/You%27re_So_Vain

I'd love that. I'd love that. I'd love that. I'd love that. The sofa shop is the only stop to the sofa you need. The sofa shop, yeah. I love that. On Halifax Street. We have sofa design for you.

Choose a fabric match you could use too. The sofa shop, hey. I love that. I love that. I love that. That's gold. There we go. That was a lovely cover of The Sofa Shop, Tim.

Very familiar sounding. That was haunting. That was weird. Very strange. Haunting is a good word for it. My goodness, yes. I'd forgotten that you'd sent it to me and to play and i played it just before just when you sent it reminding me that it was going to be on the show and the family

heard it and um yes they all stopped and looked in a gasp what the heck is that that's bizarre the the mysterious email that came with it simply says my my name is Tim and I'm a minister at Malvern United Church in Adelaide, Australia. Anyway, anyway, very clever. Creative. Yes. What do you think when you hear your laugh? People mention it and I never notice it.

You don't think of your own laugh as being anything distinct, But I kind of see what people mean now. Having listened to it, you know, the episodes of the podcast, I realise, oh, yeah, I'm always going on and on and on. It's very honky. Honky. Honky? Yeah, it honks. Wow, that doesn't sound terribly endearing.

You can't choose your laugh Can you? I mean you just It just comes out naturally It's one of those things I mean if you spend your life faking a laugh You're just missing out on the best part of life itself I mean you've just got to go with what you've got Yeah

Do you think laughing is the best part of life? I think it's one of the best parts of life it's one of the things i enjoy the most yeah joyful it's marvelous yeah imagine never never laughing yeah that would that would not be good you can't imagine that around me because i'm such a classy comedian yeah not exactly exactly i'm blessed your wife has said that i'm the only one who makes you laugh in a way that makes your shoulders jump up and down. I was so proud when I heard that. Very nice.

So parish notices is something we like to do at the start of the show. And Tim, you've got like the most parish of parish notices, haven't you? Oh, yes. Yes. Word has come through that one of our colonels, unmade colonels, Colonel Katrina, has had a baby. A little colonel. Yes.

A little chicken nugget. A little nugget. That's right. That's wonderful news. A massive congratulations to the colonel. I don't, I think I'm divulging information I'm allowed to divulge here. That's wonderful news. A massive congratulations to the Colonel. I think I'm divulging information I'm allowed to divulge here, but I think either the day of or at the very latest,

the day after the birth, the Colonel and Mr Colonel actually enlisted their youngster as a Patreon supporter, our youngest Patreon supporter. Yes, yes, incredible, yes. That's a challenge for people, isn't it? To have children and see who can beat the record to get in there and enrol them as Patreon supporters the quickest. I think it may be accurate to say they've enrolled their child as a Patreon supporter earlier than, like, a school

or even, like, registered the birth with the government. Oh, indeed, yeah, the name. You only get to doing the name a few days later, really, or as long as you like, you know, within reason. But, yeah, there's other paperwork and stuff. This is definitely way higher up on the list, as it should be. Does that mean if, like, even though a name has been decided, if the name hasn't

technically been registered yet we have an unnamed patron yes that's true the unnamed patron i like that congratulations uh to the colonel and family and we look forward to seeing pictures of another bald human that looks like most other bald humans. And this is where your comments about all babies looking the same slightly come back to bite you a little bit. But are you holding to it? Stand by it. All right. Stand by it.

I saw you sent me a picture of the colonel and the baby, and yeah, lots like a baby. That was actually what we did. To protect some privacy, I just grabbed a picture from Storyblocks and sent that to you. I said, it's the girl's baby. Distribute it widely. It's a good-looking baby.

No one will know. They will look the same. This is a big incentive, though, a moment of inspiration for other civilians, not just colonels, but other civilians to get out there and to multiply and to enroll them as unnamed civilians. Sure, that's the kind of investment that's going to take nine months to pay off, but still. We're ready for it. We'll be be here we'll be here awaiting your patreon sign up in a recent episode tim ridiculously in my opinion encouraged people to write in letters of complaint about the unmade podcast and uh this is something people have done with vigor

so uh so i guess i did say ileashed the wrath of thousands of people Yes I'm going to read some of them Some of them are kind of like a bit complimentary too And I like those ones So I'm going to favour those ones Here we go Letters of Complaint

Dear Tim and Brady I'm writing to complain about a string of incidents That have occurred in the last few episodes of the podcast You probably know, I'm writing to complain about a string of incidents that have occurred in the last few episodes of the podcast. You probably know what I'm referring to. Allow me to elaborate. I usually listen to podcasts to help me fall asleep. In the past, the Unmade podcast has been unusually helpful in doing so. However, episodes have gotten more and more interesting, and I'm having trouble falling asleep while listening to the podcast.

I suggest to the both of you that the episodes become less interesting. Perhaps you can try using a more monotonous voice and exclude any laughter. Try to stay away from special episodes because they are unbearably captivating. If helpful, I can rate the episodes on a scale of one to 10 of how interesting they are. I would aim for no more than a three on the scale, any higher, and I'm too interested and cannot sleep. Regards, Nicolay. Well, that's up there with my complaints to KFC, really. The backhanded complaint. They are. Yes, that's right. Yes. A lot of people get in touch saying they use the Unmade podcast to help them sleep. How do you feel about that?

I think that's fine. I know once upon a time I would have thought it was, you know, it must mean that we're monotonous or boring, but I know that I have used podcasts I love and find interesting to fall asleep to. You know, there's something comforting about them if they're familiar. That is true. But I do have podcasts that are too good to fall asleep to. You know, there's something comforting about them if they're familiar. That is true. But I do have podcasts that are too good to fall asleep to. Yes. Like that are too interesting and funny and engaging.

And we're clearly not falling into that category most of the time. No. And I have other ones that I think are a bit boring. Like they'll talk about like, you know, international politics and things. And while I do like them, I do find it very easy to disengage and fall asleep and realize I haven't been listening and I'm worried that we're we're in that category oh dear have you ever gone to sleep to the unmade podcast no I never have have you I have once because I while we're recording that's right I've switched from iced coffee to coke tonight just to sort of keep me going engaged I once

woke up in the morning and you had released an episode overnight so laying there I listened to it and like and went back to sleep like I just dozed off again and then woke up again and went oh all right and now I've got to get up so okay i fell asleep to it which is i think forgive him i was i was well it's maybe it's worse because i was actually trying to listen to it and yet i was overcome by sleep and i'd already slept for eight hours i'm totally up for nicolai going through and rating every episode on this one to ten scale of interestingness i'd be very curious to see that yeah yeah what about which parts of the episodes like rating different segments and how hard do you want nicolay to work

like go like graph every episode as it goes up and down in interestingness like this whole like get to work nicolay you offered now you got to do it letters of complaint here's another one similar kind of theme dear tim and brady in a recent run of errands i was listening to the podcast as one does when in need of quality entertainment and it was amazing however the episode was almost too engaging while i was doing my regular grocery shopping listening to tim describe the spoon of the week, I got distracted and almost bumped into an old lady. Now granted, I didn't bump into the old lady and she was perfectly fine, but imagine a worse situation. It would probably have been

frightening for her. Thus, I would like to request that the podcast be in fact less interesting so that listeners who tend to listen while out and us to be less interesting. Oh, look, people, I don't think you've quite got the hang of the letters of complaint. Like... Yeah. Damn it, Tim is just too handsome. I'd like to see what happens when any of these people sue someone. It's almost like they turn up with a bucket of cash and say, Oh, look, excuse me, sir.

Here's $10,000 to start behaving yourself. Please don't do it again. All right, excuse me, sir. Here's $10,000 to start behaving yourself. Please don't do it again. All right. Here's another one. I can't imagine I'll be the only person who finds this one aspect of your otherwise wonderful podcast particularly troubling. So please forgive me if this is one of many similar complaints. With that said, I cannot say how much it bothers me that we, the faithful listeners, have no idea what the nationality of Tim's father is. One would imagine Australian given Tim's nationality, but why keep us wondering? It

would be the work of a moment to let us know. Australian? Canadian? Nigerian? Your fans want Tim, is this a secret you're willing to reveal? What nationality was your father? I'm proud of my Nigerian father. He's a wonderful man. Well, I wouldn't be the Dutch rap star that I am if I didn't have a Dutch father. So I owe it all to him. Did your dad retain his Dutch citizenship or did he become Australian?

No. Unfortunately for me, he became nationalised as an Australian. And he did that just a few months before I was born. Literally mum was pregnant with me. And it's really frustrating because if I'd been born when he did it, then I would have had some claim to getting a Dutch passport, which would have been really handy, you know, with the EU and everything. But I missed out.

And the reason he went and got nationalised was just because he got a job working for the Australia Post. And you have to be an Australian citizen to work at Australia Post. Really? Well, you did at that time. So that's the reason he did it. And there was nothing like dual citizenship at that stage. So he gave it up. And that was a bit unfortunate for me.

so he gave it up and that was a bit unfortunate for me i found that out when i was in my late teens and looking at doing some backpacking or something and really oh what a shame so your dad's a dinky die australian then yes yes well he was before he died what did he become dutch again then is he in dutch heaven or austral heaven? I don't know. I reckon Dutch heaven sounds like it would be pretty cool. That's right. Do you think your dad identified as Dutch though, didn't he? He was pretty proud of the Dutchness. He was.

He was funny because he was so overtly Dutch. You know, his accent was so strong to people and we had so much Dutch stuff around the house. And even now I realise condiments we had in the house that I thought everyone had were actually Dutch things. I've seen them at Dutch shops and go, oh, okay, that's why we had that. So I guess it was, but he loved Australia. He really loved it.

And when we went back over there, he just wanted to come home, back to the nice, warm Australia, yeah. Back to his spoons. Back to his spoons and bland suburbia oh you know how like in england lots of english people think i sound australian and when i come back to australia a lot of you guys think i sound a little bit english did your dad get that would he go back to holland and everyone there would say oh jerry you sound so australian now yes yes i remember him saying that yeah yeah they found him very australian and i think they even found some of his ways his personality attributes i remember there was a

little bit of tension he he talked about or maybe mum told me about dad's Australian-ness and he wasn't he he'd become I guess we call them a a second culture person you know they've or a third culture person I should say you know what I mean you don't quite fit 100% anywhere you're a bit of the two but he found it hard going back and I think they found him hard too and a little bit like you trip over the small differences he was tripping over them too even though I guess he went home with an attitude of well here i am and this is my home and i'm dutch and they're sort of well hang on a second you've you know got your clogs on backwards and you you know you've you've forgotten the little things that you were thinking you're so proud of yeah it's like when you come back to adelaide and you pretend to know everything about adelaide and it's

like well hang on a second. That Wendy's hot dog shop isn't there anymore, my friend. You live it in the past, man. Don't worry, I found the Wendy's hot dog shop, no problems. You did. You actually sniffed it out and it was closer to my house and I didn't think there was one in the city and there was. I was ordering them to my hotel when I was in quarantine, the Wendy's hot dogs.

Yes. Letters of Complaint. Here we go. Here's another letter of complaint. Dear Dr Brady Haran and Tim Hine, I've been enjoying the Unmade podcast for some time now and I have been extremely happy about my experience consuming it. I must still complain about what I see as a glaring flaw as well as a missed opportunity.

In its current form, the Unmade Podcast releases around 90 minutes of podcast about every 10 days. That is about 90 minutes for every 14,400 minutes. every 14,400 minutes. That means that people can at best spend only 0.625% of their time listening to fascinating ideas for podcasts. To solve this problem, I suggest the Unmade podcast to have longer episodes released more frequently. 24-hour episodes released every 24 hours would be the best but i would be satisfied with 20 hours every 24 hours this seems to me as a perfectly reasonable balance between the unmade podcast as well as keeping time for your other projects including but not limited to sleeping raising children having multiple youtube channels and other things from remy. Well, I have to say our wives have that podcast and they're not patron supporters.

No, they're barely even listeners. Imagine being in the middle of a conversation with your wife, even an argument or something like that, and you stop and you say, hang on a second, and you say, this argument's brought to you by Storyblocks. Have you heard? And you just open a laptop and start pointing out the cool features

and you go, okay, now let's get back to it. Back to it. Do you think we could do a 20-hour episode? I think we could. I don't think people get how we do that how often we talk when we're not recording i think i think 20 hours would be easy i think so too i think we could do that that is an interesting idea maybe we'll do it one day as a patreon bonus it might be worth

doing it when we're in the same city if i'm over there or you're here or something too um that might make it a little bit easier um at least we can get up and walk around then letters of complaint what do you think of this one dear tim and brady i'm writing to complain about the high number of unmade podcast episodes that feature additional content in the YouTube version. Busy, important people such as myself can only fit podcasts into their lives by listening while doing other more important tasks, and cannot spend the additional attention required to watch a video. Please kindly stop podcasting things more appropriate for visual media and stick to things more suited to audio-only media.

Yours sincerely, Alex. Hmm. Now, I just want to point something out. The podcast is always made to be an audio podcast. We're never making it with video in mind. We do, and there's no additional audio material on the youtube version but thank you anyway alex for giving me this excuse to point out that when i do make the youtube version because we post the podcast to youtube i do try to put pictures and bits of video and other jokes and content

appropriate to what we're talking about on the youtube version so if you ever want to go and watch the youtube version or sit in on one of our premieres, you should do it because it's very good fun and I do put extra time and effort into it. So please consider it, but you're not missing out on anything additional if you don't. So stop your whinging, Alex. You can also just listen to YouTube as well and just glance at it every now and then if there's something relevant or visual. I do that as well. I was driving home today on my scooter and I was listening to an album that's not available on Apple Music, but it's on YouTube. So I just play the audio and keep it in my pocket. Occasionally pull it out and have a little watch,

see what's happening as you're scootering along. Yeah, that's right. We'll edit that bit out for legal reasons. Tim does not watch or use his phone while riding on his scooter. I think he probably does. No. The right question is supposed to be, oh, tell me about the album you were listening to

and why it isn't on Apple Music. And then we go down a big rabbit warren talking about the music. But I know you're not going to ask that. So that's fine. We'll move on. All right. Although if you're watching on YouTube, we've put a cover of the album up on the screen right now.

Nice. Wow. I wouldn't have guessed it was that album, Tim. That's fascinating. Yep, yep. Move on. All right, ideas for a podcast. Should I do my idea?

Because I've just got a quickie today. Oh, yeah. I was looking at my list last night and I just wasn't feeling the love for any of them. And then when I was reading the paper this morning, I suddenly had like a little mini idea. So I thought I'd share that one. A mini idea.

All right. A mini idea. So like that's my share that one. A mini idea. All right. A mini idea. So like that's my way of saying not a good idea. Yes. Basically, you'll mention it and then we'll move on quickly to Spood of the Week. My idea for a podcast I'm going to call, it'll be hosted by just me. It'll be a one-person podcast so I can make the name work. Because the podcast is called

lord of the rings and this is a podcast where people phone in and tell me the story of a time they lost and then found a ring because the times newspaper is absolutely fascinated with stories of people who lose rings and then find them there was a a story in the paper today, like a huge story, like must have been, you know, 500, 600 words about a guy who lost his ring on the beach and then used his Strava running app to figure out roughly where he'd been walking on the beach and then called some guy with a metal detector who found it. And then he said, oh, that's good, got my ring back.

So man loses ring, man finds ring is a huge story in the Times newspaper today. And newspapers are obsessed with... And people love telling their own stories of the time they lost a ring and somehow found it. There's a swimming lake near where I live. And every now and again, they drain the lake so that they can refresh the water. And when they do that, people go in and find all the stuff on the bottom of the lake. And they always find an engagement ring or something. And then they find out who it belonged to.

And so even like where I live, there are always tales told of lost rings that have been found. So my podcast, Lord of the Rings, is phone Brady, your Lord of the Rings, and tell him your story about a ring you lost and then found. Have you ever lost and found a ring? Not a ring, but only one month ago, one of my daughters lost a necklace only 24 hours after being given it by her grandma. It's while we were on holidays and we were staying at a bed and breakfast. And so it's sort of an unfamiliar place. You know, you find things more quickly in your own house, but you're somewhere else. And we were packing to go and couldn't find it anywhere

it was very tiny and it was beautiful it was um you know the little brooch bit not the actual long you know chain so it was really a little pendant had gone missing pendant pendant that's the word i'm looking for yeah yeah but it was really quite precious like grandma had brought it along to give to her pass it on so we're going and we'd really reach the point of going we're going to just have to say to the owners if you find it please let us know we're gonna and how long was that tim because you've got such a short attention span if it doesn't fall into my hand in the next 10 seconds we're leaving oh we scoured back and forward and back and forward and you start thinking oh no as the dog swallowed it and then you go oh no he's not likely to swallow something like that but

i thought i'm not having this this is we're going to find this that's ridiculous and um so i got right under the the bed and you know found it and then and i was like oh hello that looks like that looks like a glint of something and so I didn't call out success or anything. I was just like smugly pulled the bed back and climbed over. And the little glint that I saw was something else. It was a false alarm. And I just went, oh, I put my head down. And then suddenly there it was right in front of me. It was like, oh, wow.

I'd looked past it to this other glint. And so I came out and, you know, just there's never a moment where you bathe yourself in more glory than when you found something like that. Yeah. How did you break it? How did you break the news? Did you say something or did you just hold it up triumphantly? I was very cool.

Like I just came out and sat on the table next to her and said, there it is, there we go. And then the word went round the room, there it is. What, have you found it? He's found it, there it is. And I was just standing there smiling, yep. Oh, he's found it. Oh, wow, wow, wow.

Oh, you're amazing. You're the best dad ever. I know. I was just, so I just, you know, just bathed in that, just nodding my head and smiling, you know, knowing. Wow. Yeah. Do you sometimes just steal things from head and smiling, you know, knowing. Wow. Yeah. Do you sometimes just steal things from your girl so that you can have those moments?

That's genius. Why haven't I ever thought of that? Dad, I've lost my car keys. Well, we'll search for an hour and then I'll just coolly walk out and pull them out of my pocket. There they are. Where they'd been for the last hour. It is more a case of me, you know, where's this? Where's that around the house?

Me losing something like my car keys or where's my glasses case? So where's the phone or where's the, you know, and other members of the house helping out to find them. Were you willing to go through Brooklyn's poo to search for the pendant? Were you in that frame of mind? Or I'll go through brooklyn's poo to search for the pendant were you in that frame of mind or i'll go through the next poo i didn't think of that but if faced with that situation i would have yes it passed the poo threshold yes it had yes yes being a pendant from grandma it had you know it was like oh this is absolutely worth it yes yeah that used to happen

all the time with my dog spindles whenles, when I was a little boy. Like he would, things would turn up in his poo. He'd be going, oh my goodness, look at that. Like what? Well, things like, I remember when our, what do they call those, I've gone blank on the name, bean bag, a bean bag that you sit in. Yeah.

You know, they're full of those little styrofoam beans. Yeah. And one of mine popped and they went everywhere. So we cleaned them all up. But, of course, you don't get them all. And so over the next week or so, the poo was just full of these bursting out the side. Were you taking them out of Spindle's poo and putting them back in the bean bag? Waste not, want not.

Wash them off, collect them up. Why would Spindle's eat those styrofoam bowls? They're not yummy. No, no, I don't know. He must have just downed them not knowing really what they were. But yeah, for a whole week, I remember them coming out. Like he must have found more and eaten them. He wouldn't eat anything else.

I don't know why he loved them so much. It was, we had to fight so hard to get him to eat anything. Brooklyn loves chewing on a peg, but, and that's annoying. A clothes peg. Yeah, yeah. They like the feeling on their teeth and gums i was at a um a spa resort type place a few years back now in like in the warm water areas you know where everyone's just paddling around amongst all these like rocks and plants and boulders there were all these lovely ponds and pools of lovely warm water and you couldn't see the water was all full of all minerals and stuff so you couldn't really see through the water and this lady lost her earrings and she was looking in in the water

and she was like really upset because she'd lost her earrings but you couldn't find them because you couldn't see into the water so i just sort of swam over to where they were because there was this distress and said oh what's going on and this lady said oh i've lost my earrings and they're really lovely so i just slowly around that part of the pool where they were just patted my feet on the bottom of the pool just gently trying to find them with my toes and suddenly i was like and i felt with my toe this this sharp metal object and then i leaned down into the water and put my hand and pulled it out. And I pulled out like her earring and found it just with my feet. Like I was reading Braille on the bottom of the pool with my toes.

And then found this. I guess I got to be a real hero then. They thought I was some kind of miracle worker. Why didn't you lift them up with your toes? It would have been more genius to sort of. And handed it over with my feet Yeah, that's good Between my gnarly toes

Here you go Click it back in the rear with your toes Here we are, mate Tying the back She would have said, you can keep them If you have lost a ring and then found it again You can either contact Tim and I and tell us your story or contact the Times of London newspaper because they'd love to hear from you. They bloody love that stuff.

But there's my podcast idea. I take my rings off when I get home every day. You can leave yours on by the looks. You've got them on there, I see. I leave my ring on all the time, yeah. I come home and I, you know, take my jacket off and kick off the shoes and then pull off my watch and ring and put them in a little, you know, little holder thing, a little lovely little tray. And one of my daughters says one of her eternal memories for her whole life

is I come home and then the sound of that clink, clink into the little tray. It's been the same little tray her whole life, and that's just such a familiar sound. Is that inspired by, like, the movie Donnie Brasco? Do you do that in case you get hit that night by the mafia and you want your kids to still have your ring and watch? No. Oh, sponsor. Today's episode has been brought to you by Hover.

Hover. Hover. Wow. Hover is where one goes to register domain names. It's a brilliant one-stop service for everything you want to do, finding the names that are available, registering them, managing them, diverting them, linking them to a website or linking them off to something else you might want to link them to.

I have a whole bevy of domain names. What's the collective noun for domain names? Oh, gosh. A bevy of domain names? A web? No. A byte? A browse?

A browse. A browse of domain names? We can't go with Google or gaggle. I like a Google. A Google of your name. Oh,'t go with Google or gaggle. I like a Google. A Google of your name. Literally it is, yes. I guess it's a Google of domain names. What about a Hover of domain names?

Yes. Well, that's very appropriate, isn't it? Oh, they should get that. You know what they should buy? They should buy Hover.com and run with that idea. Well, if Hover were going to register Hover.com and run with that idea. Well, if Hover were going to register Hover.com, which I believe they have, they should do it at Hover, which they can do by going to Hover.com slash Unmade. And if they go to Hover.com slash Unmade, they will get 10% off their first purchase.

In fact, I think Hover can probably get an even bigger discount, but I don't know. Certainly our listeners will get 10% off their first registration by going to hover.com slash unmade. There are a whole list of reasons you should go to them. We talk about them all the time, how good they are to use, how user-friendly, how easy it is to transfer your other domains you may already have over to Hover. I was just going through my Hover of domains earlier, Tim, to find out what ones I've got. And these are just some of the ones I have registered at the moment that are related to the Unmade podcast.

Obviously, Unmade.fm, Spoonoftheweek.com, Tommyball.fm, Pulpit.com, Unmade.store, TwoPieceFeed.band, FluffyHangers.com, Spoon.cards, and TimAndBradyGatesFoundation.org. It's like a Greatest Hits of our podcast there, going through my hover of domains. Is there any room left on the internet with all those, man? You've got all of them, I think.

I've got them all. I've got them all. If there's something something if there's some project you're working on either now or something in the future or some personal thing you think might be fun to register go to hover.com slash unmade get that 10 discount as well and we're really grateful to hover for supporting this episode absolutely thank you hover how easy is your job in these ads all you do is just at the start when i say who the sponsor is go oh yeah they're great and at the end just when i finish you go yep absolutely i feel i feel useless i'm i am grateful for hover but you just start talking and you launch into it it's just really quite

frustrating i feel sidelined at these moments is there something you'd like launch into it it's just really quite frustrating i feel sidelined at these moments is there something you'd like to say oh it's too late now no i'll say i'm gonna say it directly to hover i'm gonna email them i'm not gonna use you anymore i'm gonna thank them all right it is time for Spoon of the Week. That just gets better and better, that jingle. It does. That's a very good jingle. I'm just having a sip so I can get my voice into Spoon of the Week mode.

Okay, go. Well, Brady, this week we've got a beautiful spoon, another one in the Hind collection that I recall us purchasing. This is a sort of a canon within a canon, these, because many of them are a mystery to me. But I remember us going to Broken Hill. Now, Broken Hill is a town in what people overseas would look at on a map and say is like the outback. It's in the middle of Australia where all where there's where all the capital cities are mainly around the edge it's a mining town uh mainly for primarily silver i think maybe other

things too and this is a pretty standard kind of mining spoon it's got a long simple stem a bit like well very appropriately really a spade and not only, it has a spade on top as well as a pick. And they're actually three-dimensional, so that looks really nice. A little statue cross over, if you can imagine something like the old USSR sort of... Hammer and sickle, yeah. Well, that's not quite... That was hammer and sickle. That's right. I was thinking it's the sickle, but it's the hammer and sickle, isn't it? Yes, crossed over.

Well, that's not quite, that was Hammer and Sickle. That's right. I was thinking it's the Sickle, but it's the Hammer and Sickle, isn't it? Yes, crossed over. This is a pick and a spade and, or a shovel, as we sometimes call it. And it looks very neat and classy, very appropriate and simple. And then it's got the title Broken Hill there. Very nice. Have you ever been to Broken Hill?

I've been to Broken Hill many times. Yeah. I mean, it's a real classic family holiday place. I've been there a few times and had to do the boring family stuff. Also, when my mum was researching our family history, I believe, we went to Broken Hill because we had a lot of mining connections in the family. And I've also been to Broken Hill once or twice, I think, for work, when I was working at the advertiser.

Because although it's in New South Wales, it's closer to Adelaide than it is to Sydney. So, it's kind of self-identified as a South Australian to some extent. So, I've been there. It was sort of part of our patch at the Advertiser. So, I was always fascinated by Broken Hill as a kid because of the name Broken Hill. Like, what kid isn't going to be fascinated by a hill that's broken? The original Mad Max movie was filmed just outside Broken Hill too, by the way.

Yes, yes. We had a family holiday there when I was young and that's when we got this. And I've only been there once since driving through, but that family holiday I remember very distinctly because I was able to meet Pro Hart, the very famous Australian painter who Dad just happened to mention he was friends with from years ago somehow and called up and we went round there and I really didn't know Pro Hart existed until I got there and realised this is a mansion of a house and he's obviously got painting stuff everywhere and then there's a gallery as part of the house, which had heaps of painting.

And we walked around. He ordered pizza, which arrived by a taxi. And I was just amazed at that, like just blown away that someone would order pizza with a taxi. Because it was so decadent and it was like, is it extra expense having to pay for a taxi? I mean, getting a taxi, when we were young, getting a taxi was kind of a big deal anyway it was like a limo yeah yeah yeah but the idea that you'd order a taxi just to bring the pizza to your house to save you going out just felt yeah like you know just incredible ridiculous uh i want to i want to play the tim tells stories of when he was poor music again well i mean you probably had you know pizzas being driven all over the city for you, I know.

But I mean, back in our day, it wasn't always done. I had them helicoptered in. But that was a great night. So we walked around and showed us his paintings and all that kind of stuff. That was really cool. And when I got back to school and we said what we did on our holidays and i said that i had dinner with pro heart you know the teacher was like really amazed and all that kind of stuff and it's only since that i realized oh he's a very well-known painter and he signed a bunch of prints

and gave them and books and stuff very generous so that's that's my biggest memory of broken hill didn't you also get your roy a flying Doctor service spoon when you were in Broken Hill? I did too, yes. That was the same trip, yes, nearby. Are you liking how I'm reminiscing about your holiday here? Yes, that was a great trip. Do you know the other thing that happened on that trip? We went out to Silverton, which is a little town just outside Broken Hill,

and they were shooting a movie and like a proper, you know, motion picture. And we stood, I mean, it's just an Australian motion picture, but still, you know, with lots of extras and cameras and caravans and stuff. And we stood there and watched that for a while. And that was, I mean, as a kid, that was just amazing as well, just phenomenal to see.

I think it was a film called A Place to Call Home or something like that. And it aired on television a bit later on. And we could see the scene that we saw being filmed. And that made just the back of my head explode with excitement. That was incredible. The thing you said, though, that has really touched a nerve with me is how exciting taxis were when you were a little kid because you would never get because taxis were like bit of a expensive thing and you're being driven by a stranger and there was this weird machine in the front with money ticking up like

yes and you were watching the you were watching the money go up and it also it not only was exciting it seemed almost like a bit out of control and expensive. And oh my God, another 10 cents just went on the price and hardly anything happened. Like watching that bill go up was kind of, and when you were the one paying for it, when you got a bit older, getting a taxi was a really nerve wracking experience

as you watch that bill go up and up and up. It's like getting closer and closer to the amount of money you actually have in your pocket what if i can remember the first time i caught a taxi on my own i don't know when it would have been as a young adult late teen somewhere gosh i think there's been at least one time i've gotten out of a taxi because they've hit the amount of money i had on me i've said i'm gonna have to get, mate, because that's all the money I've got. You're a big taxi driver talker, aren't you? I remember you'd sit and chat, and one night you got caught talking about something from work as a journalist,

or even when you're a cadet even, and you said, I end up spending like half an hour sitting at the curb just explaining this matter to the taxi driver. Oh, right. And having a massive conversation. I don't know. It sounds like something I'd do anyway. Golden.

So anyway, that says that spoon will be on the website. Spoon of the week. Lovely. Yeah. Little, little three-dimensional representation at the top. Quality spoon that.

Quality spoon. I like it. I like it a lot. Very meta. It's a sort of, it's a, it's a shovel on top of a spoon shaped like a shovel. You know what I mean?

There's lots of... A spoon is smaller than a shovel. You cut off the scoopy bit in the picture you sent to me. You've gone back to absolute terrible photography. And, like, it's in a shadow and you've cut the bottom off and it's like, it's a terrible photo. I hope you send me a better one later. Yeah, that's only the one I send before the episode

I do a professional shoot the next day Which is to say I get one of my daughters To take a professional shot And then send it to you Yeah Because apparently she's a fantastic photographer So

Alright well Tim This week For our winners We're going to announce the winner of An Unmade Podcast commemorative souvenir spoon. We give away one every episode to a lucky Patreon supporter. And also, ten of our Patreon supporters, a.k.a. stakeholders, will receive some Spoon of the Week collector cards in the post. Ten of you are going to get those.

And this week, Tim, I have taken the names of the winners And I have buried them in the rock and soil of Broken Hill And I'm going to ask you to mine your way through Broken Hill To find the names of these winners and announce them Are you willing to do that? I am, yes You got your pick and shovel at the ready? I am Here we go.

Oh, here we go. Yes, we've found the winner of the spoon, which is Simon H from Stockholm in Sweden. Congratulations, Simon. Fantastic. Sweden, wow. I've been to a mine in Stockholm. In fact, one of the few times I have filmed a little mine was in Stockholm

because I went to the little mine or quarry where they first found four elements on the periodic table. Wow. At a place called Itterby on the outskirts of Stockholm. You've been everywhere, really, haven't you? I've been everywhere, man. You have. All right, here we go. I found some more.

Oh, this is a rich vein here. Jeffrey L from Ontario in Canada. Ian C. from Melbourne in Australia. Hello to Melbourne. Joe E. from Kentucky in the USA. Thomas Y. from London, which is still in England. Peggy Y. from California. Peter J. from Hobart in Tasmania

Hello Peter Marlon from Ireland Sam H from Victoria, Australia Tobias from Berlin And Cathy from St Louis in the USA Congratulations everybody Those people, you're all getting cards Spoon of the Week collector cards

And thank you for being stakeholders we really appreciate our patreon supporters you can go to patreon.com slash unmade fm if you would like to join them and we've always got all sorts of bonuses and extra bits and pieces and love coming your way but we also love we but we love all the listeners too don't we you We love you all equally. Thank you, Hover. All right. Tim, have you got an idea for a podcast? Oh, hello. Yes, I do.

My idea is inspired by Adelaide itself, but I know there are examples of this all over the place. We talk a lot about the sofa shop. And you would have to say that the sofa shop is probably the greatest shop of all time. My podcast idea is about the worst shop of all time. And I'm not talking about Berkowitz. I'm talking about... Poor Berkowitz gives a new lease of life to all these employees

who are going to lose their jobs when the sofa shop closes down, comes along, keeps the shop going, and now they're absolute mortal enemies of the podcast. Oh, no, it was a massive takeover. It's a disgrace. It was a massive takeover. It's a disgrace. It was a hostile takeover. Hostile takeover. Hostile takeovers are always framed as being, you know,

the saviours of the company and for the employees, but no, this was unwanted. Anyway, I'm talking more about, you know, that shop you've walked into and you can hardly believe it's a shop it's like what what is this they mix and match but bad ones ones you don't like because eclectic shops can be quite fun but no no no no no no eclectic shop in a bad way or just about the worst shop i've ever been to really the worst shop i've ever been to the worst shop I've ever been to, really. The worst shop I've ever been to. The worst shop.

That's what it's called. Not the sofa shop. The worst shop. Like, you know, there's shops you've been into and they sell secondhand combs, you know, with a... What? Just that? Nothing else? That's their specialty?

Those secondhand comb shops i don't know where you're hanging out there's a whole street of them okay we'll put them all together it'll be known as the comb area of town you know and people will come and try them out i got this idea because i went into a shop in, I'll say, I'm cautious here because I'm talking about a real shop, but let's just say it's in South Australia. And it's a chemist. And I guess you sort of assume a chemist or a pharmacy, as they're called, or a drugstore in America, to have a certain integrity about them. Because the person there is qualified and they're selling important medicine. Yeah. So they have a certain, you know, medicine. Yeah.

So they have a certain dignity about them. Not this place. No. Is it part of a chain or is it just a one-off independent pharmacy? I think it's just one-off. Okay. It's hard to tell because the sign's very faded. Right.

And what's wrong with it when you go in there you walk in and the literally the first thing you see walking into this um chemist is a collection of secondhand chairs that are for sale and then they're lined up along the entranceway and like we went in once the other day and there were four dining chairs and you know they they look like they're not a complete set even though there's four i know it's probably four of six but just the way they look yeah and then there's another random office chair sitting and they've just got a piece of paper stuck to them with five dollars twenty dollars written in text and i'm like this is a chemist like this is a semi-medical environment and there's chairs but then you you you walk deeper into to bathe into the professionalism of the

medical environment to get the things you need and there's plates and there's crockery and then suddenly in the midst of all that, there's some exercise equipment. And somehow that's been positioned right next to the crockery. And then you turn the corner. And then in the corner, there's one of those really old-fashioned weighing machines. You know how you used to put 20 cents in to weigh yourself? They're like huge, big huge big eyes and it's there and you can weigh yourself or are they selling the machine no the the machine the well i well

i actually i don't know it just i imagine it's there i imagine it's there to weigh yourself but it's hard to tell because there's lots of other machinery there that's the kind of thing you shouldn't be selling like there's a big medical equipment there that's the kind of thing you shouldn't be selling. Like there's a big medical equipment, which looks like it should be either sending out radiation or like it looks like a restart your heart kind of thing. What are they called? Like a cardiogram. Defibrillator. Defibrillator.

But a really big old fashioned thing like that's sitting there next to a massive pile of toilet paper. And then. Are you looking at pictures of it right now i am i'm i took pictures covertly when i was in there and i'm pulling them up because i can and i'm even more amazed by my photos than i was then because then then there's a lounge suite like right there it is a sofa shop i'm getting a vibe from the way you're talking this you've been into this place multiple times i have yeah yeah yeah yeah well why do you keep going back i guess i guess um for the chairs several times i'm just a fan of their fabric i just there's lots of like pictures and prints like laying up against the wall And then there's a whole line of computer monitors

But this is all in a chemist Like it's literally still a chemist And so there's all Where you could go to buy like life-saving medicine And you know prescriptions and stuff That's right And there's like a presumably qualified pharmacist who's there To dispense it and all the rest of it And there's band a presumably qualified pharmacist who's there to dispense it and all the rest of it.

And there's band-aids and- People, I've never seen Tim's eyes open as wide as they are right now as he looks back at his pictures. He does look at them mildly in shock. And then there's just ribbon, like there's haberdashery and stuff like that. Something I don't like in shops that you're reminding me of, and I'm not totally condemning it because I still do sometimes like these shops, but you know how there are two kinds of like antiques secondhand shops, right? Yeah. There are ones that obviously have a threshold, like a bar that you must go over to have the stuff in the shop, and everything's expensive and nice and has been reconditioned and looks as best it can. expensive and nice and has been reconditioned and looks as best it can.

And then you get those secondhand shops that will have some absolute gems and amazing stuff. But then they'll also have, like, just a plastic box of crap that you can't believe they've put there. And it will have, like, matchbox cars, but they're still, like, dirty. Like, the kids just finish playing with them and there'll be, like a hairpin in there and stuff like that and like like one playing card and all like just someone's just obviously taken all the crap from their house and thrown it in a box and just said will someone be stupid enough to buy something like yes i don't like i don't like those dirty boxes that you have to i still rummage through them in case there's something cool in there but the dirty box of old children's toys i think there's something probably about the owners of places like this that they can't bear to throw something away because they've probably they've

had a lifetime of being constantly surprised what people come in looking for so they just look at a box of crap like that and they can't throw it away. They think, well, I'll just let it sit there. And even though this is the funny, they're going to make 10 cents off one item and 5 cents off another item. And it can't be worth the square meterage of having it sitting there. Or it could be like that guy near where I live the other day who put his old crappy spoons out the front of his house and I came and paid 20 quid for them. He would never have thought. He's putting those spoons out there thinking, I bet a podcaster comes along who features souvenir spoons and he'll just be right in the zone.

It's like you are just right in the zone of his ideal customer. I wonder how this chemist would feel knowing that they've just been featured in the first ever example of a podcast called The Worst Shop Ever. I'm sure it's a perfectly good chemist and you'll get that's surely the only thing people go in there for like surely you go in there for its primary purpose but for some reason he's looked at all this space and thought if i pile this if i if i let people store crap in here like if i basically go along on hard rubbish day pick up stuff and fill the rest of the place with it i'm gonna do more business there's also like a sort of a defunct coffee

sort of area that i saw once and that's next to a sign that says this area is out of bounds so it's not even we're not serving coffee or it's closed it's out of bounds and it's like oh man that's a sign that needs to be at the front door oh that sounds fun that shop sounds awesome i want to go there have you have you got examples of i mean what do you think about this as a podcast idea like yeah i like it i like hearing people describe weird weird shops the shops the shops that they have here that i feel that way about other big chains of really cheap stuff like there's one called b&m bargains and shops like that that are just those huge shops like like cheap as chips in adelaide you know those shops where it's just full of cheap tat that doesn't

cost much and it's just got everything you know you'll find a tennis balls next to barbecue shapes and things like that and like you just they just they just get like a job lot on something they get like a bargain on 10 000 tennis balls they say okay this week we're selling tennis balls for a dollar each and stuff like that so uh so there's a few shops like that and like b&m bargains is that is a big one here but i go there all the time because there's always something you need that you don't know where else to buy it like something you just didn't know you were going to need like I need 18 balls of string or I need I need a pink hula hoop or something like that for some weird reason I need something for like a video or something and you think you've

got Amazon obviously but if you can't get if you need it straight away and it's just something really random i just think i bet if i go to b&m bargains i'll find something that will do the trick and like probably seven times out of ten you do so although i don't like those shops i am kind of grateful for them i think they're called dime stores in in the u.s i've seen yeah yeah or yeah and you get pound dollar shops or pound stores you have here but this is a this isn't quite a pound store where everything's a pound oh yeah there is they will have like furniture like garden furniture and stuff like that but it's just really low-end stuff there's what these stores two things that

these stores are really good for the first one is art supplies for the kids like you know how to get those canvases and stuff if you go to an art supply store everything is astronomically expensive yeah and you go to these places they're like two dollars one dollar you buy a bunch of canvases and paints and stuff so they're pretty they're literally handy for that stuff the other thing they're good for is DVDs of recent Nicolas Cage movies. Yeah. There's films. You can go through, you know, DVDs and stuff in a place like this

and never see a title you've ever heard before or ever been advertised anywhere. It's the ultimate B movie locale the other good thing they're good for is uh rolls of brown paper because my number file videos i get all my mathematicians to write on brown paper and sometimes i'll be like in some town i haven't been to before and i desperately need brown paper so the mathematician i'm meeting can we can use it as a prop and sometimes you just can't find it anywhere and then you go into the local dime store and they'll have dozens and dozens of rolls of brown paper so they're good for brown paper too but they are places you feel a bit sometimes you feel a bit

icky going into them anyway there's some things yeah you know the furniture's kind of stapled together and yeah yeah you know what I mean? The mats will fall apart and, yeah, the carpet, yeah. I bought like a mini garden seat at one of those things to take to a music festival. Not like a full garden chair, not like a full deck chair, but just one basically just for your butt with three little metal struts to hold it up so you could just plonk it down somewhere and watch it.

And I put it down and i was watching something with three or four of my friends watching a a musician on stage and i sat down on it and within 10 seconds of sitting on it it just went splat like a pancake and i went straight down on my butt and my friends laughed for hours about that i was cursing that store for selling me that terrible chair couldn't even hold my slender frame that's that story could have gone either way because it could be one of those i paid two dollars for it and that was 20 years ago and i'm still using it at concerts today but no it was the it lasted lasted less than a song all right worst, worst store. Good idea. I like it. Fun podcast. Do you want to hear a few more letters of complaint about our podcast?

Yeah, I'd like to hear a real, like one that really is nasty. Are there any that are sort of, you know, that really will make me feel defensive and will get other people worked up on our behalf Is there anything like that at all? This one's a little bit political and a little bit woke See if this one does it for you Letters of Complaint Dear Tim and Brady My name is Liam and I've been a level 5 vegan for the past almost 21 years

My concern aroused when you began using the term stakeholder as a title for your Patreon supporters. When you adopted the term, I believe you unknowingly excluded many of the strong minded and well-read individuals by only referring to people who support your podcast as people who hold cuts of meat in their hands. I, for

one, do not like the feeling of meat within my hands and would never be seen holding a steak, yet alone enjoy the title of stakeholder to combat this exclusion of your audience i would recommend using a title along the lines of farmers or farm hands with this you include both people that like to hold steak and those who prefer to hold vegetables i look forward to hearing from you best regards liam the avocado holder or something like that might work a little bit better. Yes. And for all those little listeners out there,

the steak we refer to for a stakeholder is an S-T-A-K-E steak, that you have a steak in something, or you put a steak down in the ground. Indeed, indeed. And I'm sure Liam knows that too. I'm sure Liam is just stirring the veggie pot there. Oh, yes. I love that he didn't take offence to the

avalanche of mentions of chicken and fried chicken that we get into every day. That doesn't offend him. But it's the stakeholder that does. It's the steak. Well, you can't complain about KFC. You know, it's a matter from heaven. That's right. Letters of Complaint. mistake well you can't complain about kfc you know it's a matter from heaven that's right letters of complaint i'm writing to complain about tommy ball and tommy ball news i'm a major fan and i always try to keep up with all the news tidbits and small talk but recently since last month all

the major sports media and news outlets have gone dry on Tommy Ball topics, game results and news. There are a few highlights every once in a while, but that is disappointingly all there is nowadays. So this brings me to my solution, since the Unmade podcast seems to have a co-host with a very surprising amount of details about the game and news around it. So I suggest that every podcast there is a small segment where the hosts update the listeners about Tommyball news and game results to resolve this catastrophic issue. Sincerely, Evan. Has it been a little while since we've had some Tommyball content? What do you think about this? A little, a one-minute Tommyball update or something?

Something that just occurred to me, like, just as I finished reading that, and I wouldn't actually do this, but it would be a funny thing to do, is at the end of every episode or at some point in every episode, we do, like as a public service, just Tommyball scores and we just read out the scores and the results. But we don't talk about it. It's not like our Tommyball episodes with Tommyball Tim where we talk and we have fun and stuff. It would just be like reading of results and numbers

and all these obscure words and no context is ever given, nothing's ever said and we just move on to the next thing. Like, you know, that would be quite funny. Just like the news, the scores on the radio. Yeah, that's a good idea. Like a weather update or something, but yeah. Letters of Complaint. Here we go.

Here's another one. I think you'll like this one. Dear Tim and Brady, after hearing your latest podcast, A Letter of Complaint, I felt compelled to write and complain. As an avid listener and Patreon supporter, I can't help but write this in Brady's I'm reading out a letter or email voice. I have made the sentences short to help with the cadence. I can't help but write this in Brady's I'm reading out a letter or email voice. I have made the sentences short to help with the cadence. However, now we are out of the introduction and into the meat of the email. Note the slight change in Brady's tone of voice.

I can now move on to my complaint. That's very good. What were you guys thinking? You had a wide open goal and you missed it you didn't even take the shot i am of course talking about the tim and brady scholarship the moment it was mentioned i knew it was for up and coming tommy ball players and yet nothing instead some half-baked idea about people who've got the correct letters in their names should the tim and brady gate prove the success we all know it will be i trust the scholarship idea will be revisited And young Tommy of all players the country over

Will get the same advantages in their early years that you both did I shall now leave you with Brady's I'm wrapping up the email voice And that slight slowdown we reach during the sign off Yours disappointedly Dom P.S. I play a lot of Eve online and there is a faction called the Triglavians. My dyslexia and far too much unmade podcast has resulted in me reading it as the Traralgans. This amuses me more than it should.

That's great. There we go. That's a very clever letter. Dear Dr. Brady Haran. This one's just addressed to me, sorry Tim I'm writing to complain about the name of your podcast The Unmade Podcast I can only presume that I am one of the great majority of listeners

Who have stayed silent on this issue for too long But in light of recent hypocrisy I can no longer ignore the voice of my conscience And must speak out against these blatant falsehoods the fact of the matter is with many pilot episodes and a brilliant series of interviews with the tommy bowl legend tim hein the name the unmade podcast fails to give an adequate description of the show's content a new name such as the half-made podcast the mostly unmade podcast or as mr hein might call it podcast about discussing podcast ideas

and not really making them except sometimes must be decided upon the exact solution to this problem I leave to the professionals but I hope that the issue is soon rectified and the reputation of the podcast restored as it stands the current name is not only misleading but unequivocally false and a constant annoyance to all those who have listened thus far yours truly john well thank you john it's a good name the unmade podcast i'm still happy with it myself yeah i'm good i think i'm gonna stick with it i think for now i think it would be a lot of hassle to change it it would be fun to find pieces of paper where we may have jotted down early ideas of what to call this

podcast i've got that stuff i've i've even got logos for some of those other names oh that's gold yeah it exists that will be that will be like part of our i don't know you know our 1000 episode uh celebration yes yes some of that out and yeah two hip jiving. I think that was one of them, wasn't it? Do you know what? I was reading, because of our last episode, I was reading a lot about the song You're So Vain by Carly Simon. Oh, yeah. And there's always been this mystery about who she wrote it about,

who was the topic of it. And there have been a couple of people who she's revealed it to. And there was once some auction or something as well, some charity thing where the prize was Carly Simon would tell you exactly who the song was about. And then she told that person, you know, confidentially. So maybe we could do the same thing with like all our original names for the podcast and we could have it like as a prize.

And for like, you know, some small amount, I don't know, $200,000, $300,000, we would tell that one person have it like as a prize and for like you know some small amount i don't know two hundred three hundred thousand dollars we would tell that one person what some of the original names were going to be as long as they keep it a secret that would be pretty cool i wonder i wonder if people are going to start trying to figure out some of those names i like to to what was it? Two hipsters jiving. Was that your? Two hipsters jiving. Yeah. Yeah. Alternative names.

The Tim and Brady podcast featuring Tim and Brady. Yeah, that's right. It is funny how in America they have, perhaps they do it in the UK too, they have a famous person and they call it the show after them, you know, like The Cosby Show or The merv griffin show and then yeah yeah that that's i think that's weird hmm yeah they don't name it after the character or the circumstance they just go right out there and go well you've got a show we're going to name the show after you and then yeah because the cosby show was the cosby show was weird like that because it was called the

cosby show because bill cosby was very famous But then it was a fictional show about a family called the Huxtables. Yeah, yeah. He wasn't called Cosby. Like, there was no Cosby in it in any way. No, it wasn't even like, you know, Seinfeld where he uses the same name or adapts it slightly. No. It was bizarre.

He was Mr Huxtable, yeah. It was Huxtable, wasn't it? I can't remember what his first name was. Huxtable, yeah. Cliff. Cliff. Cliff. I think Bill Cosby's another actor we're not supposed to talk about anymore. Oh, dear.

All right. Well, thank you to everyone who complained. Thank you, Tim, for your time. I've got one word in. I haven't got the other word in. Oh, right. And the other word's a really hard one, and I can't even think how to get it in. What was it? And I'll tell you how you could have got it in.