The Unmade Podcast - 94: That's Not My Baby

Episode Date: September 20, 2021

Tim and Brady discuss the sameness (or not) of babies, expensive items on the menu, penne pasta, trucks, spoons, crowns, What If, Monopoly money, Tom Hanks, and a compilation of laughter. Go to Storyblocks for stock video, pictures and audio at storyblocks.com/unmade - https://www.storyblocks.com/unmade Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/unmadeFM Join the discussion of this episode on our subreddit - https://redd.it/prxuxy Catch the podcast on YouTube where we often include accompanying videos and pictures - https://youtu.be/HK7vtcwXsHs Here's that second crossword - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqQ4DGhk4tw USEFUL LINKS Catch the baby pictures on YouTube - link Or in this baby photo gallery - https://www.unmade.fm/baby-gallery Penne - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penne Pictures of Spoon of the Week - https://www.unmade.fm/spoon-of-the-week Send your own spoon by following these instructions - https://www.unmade.fm/send-us-a-spoon Kalgoorlie - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kalgoorlie Monopoly money - https://monopoly.fandom.com/wiki/Monopoly_Money What Would Tom Hanks Do? - https://the-unmade-podcast.creator-spring.com/listing/what-would-th-do

Hi everyone, just a quick pre-show message. In today's episode I'll be showing Tim some pictures and videos. If you want to watch on YouTube, all that stuff will be synchronized with the podcast. There'll also be links in the show notes. But don't worry, it's a podcast and everything will make perfect sense without it. So if you're out on a run or driving your car or something, you can go ahead and listen. And another quick little warning for our very, very young viewers. Later in the show, well after Spoon of the Week, Tim and Brady will be talking about Santa Claus. And whatever you might hear, if you hear anything you don't understand,

just remember, if you're a good boy or girl, Santa Claus will bring you presents this Christmas. Tim, I thought I'd start with just a very short parish notice to let all those people who've been sending in their stories of lost and found rings, I want you to know I've been getting your messages. I've read the short ones and I've put the long ones in a special folder to read when I'm on a train trip or something

because people don't keep these stories short, I've learnt, when they lose and find a ring. You've got to set the context. Yes, yes, there's been lots of context. Childhood, that kind of thing, you know, teenage years, building up to the moment. So I really appreciate all the time, and it's clearly a lot of time people have put into writing these emails,

and I want to give them their due consideration before I revisit them on the show. So rest assured I've been getting the lost ring emails and long may they continue. Yes. Long being the operative word. Maybe we can publish them all as volume 1, Volume 2, Volume 3. That'll cover the first five or six.

We should have said, send in your lost ring ideas in haiku. That is definitely what we should have done. Or a series of haikus. Tim, I've got a bit of an idea A bit of a special thing I've been working on Because this is an idea called That's not my baby Because as you know

I've said on the show a few times now That I think all babies look the same And you haven't seemed willing to agree with me No So I've put together a series of pictures Which I'm going to send to you one by one and the challenge for you tim is to look at the pictures of those babies and say is that your baby or is that another baby

okay this is a trap of the most insidious kind. So I've been conspiring a little bit behind your back. I've been talking to your wife. She sent me some pictures and I've sourced other pictures and I've put them all together. And we're going to see how well you recognise your very own babies. Are you ready for this? I'm not sure this is testing your theorem in, you know,

appropriate scientific context. Like, I'm wondering maybe I need some time to familiarise myself with my own children. Well, look, Tim, I don't want to raise expectations here, and I thought I was going to have you on toast with this idea, but I've since learned, or I've been told, it's not uncommon for you to look through old pictures of your babies. I was told you're a bit of a softie who quite likes looking at old pictures

of the babies and sometimes you even get a bit emotional, get a little bit warm-hearted. Absolutely. I was told even occasionally a tear may form in the eye. I don't know if that was accurate or not. Yes. Yes. That's true. I admit it. I admit it i admit it all right all right you've got me so uh so if you don't recognize pictures of your own babies now that's uh that's gonna that's gonna

say something that sounded like you were empathizing with me but really you were just raising the stakes of my yes all right are you ready yes all right for these pictures all right here we go and by the way if you want to play along if you're on the youtube channel you'll be able to see these pictures at the same time as tim so you can play along if you like or there'll be notes in the video description if you too want to look at these generic babies and tim's babies here comes number one i'm i'm hoping i'm in the photo holding the baby which will be a bit of a clue baby number one tim is that your baby no that's not my baby that's not your baby the kid is not my son You're quite right. That's actually Colonel Katrina's baby.

Oh, wow. Wow. Well done. Here comes baby number two. Now, that baby looks familiar, but that's not my baby. No. Not your baby? No.

Not the fruit of your loins? You'd recognise it if it was, wouldn't you? No, this is not my baby. All right. Correct. That's not your baby. This baby looks familiar. Is this a Storyblocks baby?

Here's baby number three. That's not my baby either. No? No. That could be my youngest. But I don't think it is. No, I don't think that's my baby no no should we come back should we come back to that one you're gonna go with a no i'm gonna go with a no yes a no it's weird though because usually you know this multiple choice it's like you wouldn't go three without who are these babies they

if this is a trick at the end you go actually these are all your babies and here they are the amazing thing is if one of them is your baby and you don't even know it that's right okay baby number four no that four. No, that's not my baby. That was your baby. Really? Yep. It looks like a mate of mine. All right.

Here comes number five. By the way, number three also was not your baby. You were correct about number three. Okay. All right. All right. Baby number five. That's a... I am looking at the face not the emoji is that right yeah i i oh yeah i'm pretty sure that's

my youngest daughter oh yes yes i am all right yes correct all right oh wow here comes baby number six. Just saying the words baby number six makes me feel exhausted. No, I don't think that's my baby. No. No? No. No.

No. Correct. Here's baby number seven. No, that's Colonel Tritr Katrina's baby again, isn't it? Yes, flipped around Yeah, right Well done So far you've got a better track record with Colonel Katrina's baby than your own

All right, here comes baby number eight Yes, yes Which one? Younger or older? All right. Here comes baby number eight. Yes. Yes. Which one? Younger or older? I think that's my youngest. Oh, that's super familiar, but I can't remember which one. So you're not recognising the baby.

You're recognising the picture. No, no, you're recognising. Well, in this case, I guess the picture looks familiar, but it is the face in the other one, certainly. I can't remember if it's, I'm going to say it's the eldest. Right. It's the youngest. Okay. As long as you don't say it's the one in between.

All right. Here's number nine number nine no that's not my baby no oh it's a lovely baby i just love you denying denying parentage babies that's a lot our baby i should say that's um no no, that's someone else entirely. No, correct. Is that you or is that someone we know as a baby? I don't even remember where I got that one. Here's number 10. Isn't this the same one as, this looks like the same one as before that you said was my baby, but I'm denying for the moment, did you?

This one looks familiar, but no, I don't think it's my baby but i think i seem to remember it's the one from before because i'm looking at the top lip and hmm yes so i still think it's a no but i think it's the same one as before that you said is a yes to be honest so i am am recognising the baby. You're going, no, that's not your baby. I'm saying no. Correct.

It's not the same one as before though. Oh, it looks very similar. Well, they all look the same. Here's number 11. This is how they solve baby crimes. They have a line-up and everyone's like,

they're just babies. I can't tell the difference. What are baby crimes? Like who pooed in the nappy and stuff? We're going to need you for a line-up. What are baby crimes? Like who pooed in the nappy and stuff? That's right. We're going to need you for a line-up. What crimes can babies commit?

Down the police station. Number 11. Let's have a look at this baby. No, that's not my baby. No? No. Okay. Well, tell that to your eldest who it is.

No. Well, she's a lot smaller there than she is now all right baby number 12 right i think this is i think this is my baby this is my youngest daughter correct all right so saved saved by the sliver of green to the side Which I recognise as our local cafe Oh, I should have removed that I think so But I also do remember I remember the face, yes

I knew I had to remove clues Alright, well done You did, I think you did alright Twice you were showing pictures of your babies that you didn't recognise So you've got some explaining to do Well, I'm looking for little distinctive markings that weren't there and things But yeah, that's You also lost half a mark on baby number eight

Because you did recognise it as your baby But you got the wrong baby Well, at least I didn't claim any babies that are not my babies That's good You didn't you didn't do that can i say i think this is i think this is a really good idea and i think that um this podcast like if i i think that radio stations would could do this and this would be a huge novelty actually that's a really good idea it's more visual i don't know if it'd hold up as a podcast but yeah what was it nerve-wracking? What was the pressure like on you? Yes, it was.

Yes. Yep, yep. I felt apprehensive and nervous throughout and exhilarated when I got one right. Relief. Yeah. Yeah. It is because there is a truth in what you're saying, that babies do look more similar. Or people, when they're babies babies look more similar to each other

than when they're grown up let's put it that way yes and then it goes the other way when you get really old and all and old people kind of start looking more similar yeah that's right we all yeah i think um yeah yeah so it is yeah i think this is that that was it was fun to do and because of the tension there's no question. How are you expecting this to go down when the episode is listened to in the Hine household? Obviously we won't be releasing this episode to the public. This is clearly between us.

I think it will be received with great interest and joy and then I'll be in big trouble with one daughter. And unfortunately it's not the daughter we can buy off with Spoon of the Week cards. No, that's right. I was hoping you'd slip a couple in, like one of maybe you or one of me that I go, oh, is that me? And it's like that's me as a baby or something like that.

But I guess the photo quality makes it a bit harder. Here's a podcast idea from me. It's just a quick one that I had when I was walking past a restaurant and I haven't got much to say about it, but I just wanted to see what you thought of it. This idea is called the most expensive thing on the menu. So I think the premise starts as reviews of meals or dishes or items of food that are the most expensive you could buy in place X,

whether it's a Chinese restaurant, a takeaway, all those sorts of places. Obviously, I can see this expanding to other items and products and other types of retail, you know, the most expensive shirt in the shop, the most expensive suit in the place. But starting off with food, the most expensive thing on the menu. So it's a sort of a different way of reviewing restaurants and places that serve food by just focusing on their number one item, at least in terms of price. Are you a big one for buying the most expensive thing on the menu? No.

Because you're price sensitive or because you just naturally don't gravitate to those kinds of foods i do i'd often used to just look for what's the most reasonable thing and balance that against what i feel like and go with a sensible order these days i just tend to go with what i think you know have go with what you want you know what's good here or what's unique here, what would you not get somewhere else. And, like, you don't go to an Italian restaurant and get a steak. It's like, well, no, no, try their pasta. It's homemade.

And so you go with what they recommend and what's special. But often the most expensive thing is just the lobster, you know. It's just you can't have lobster at every restaurant you go to. Yeah, although I do love lobster restaurant you go to. Yeah. Although I do love lobster. But yeah. Yeah, that's true. What about you?

I don't normally, but it's not because of price sensitivity. It's just because of my taste. I think my taste just never seems to, my palate never seems to pull me in that direction. But I do like the idea. I do like the idea of this, though. I think it would be a fun thing to do. Because it could also make you eat things you wouldn't normally eat which in itself would might be might be an interesting show i don't know yeah yeah so you can you can of course expand it to the wine list which could become very expensive can i ask a question though about dining in a restaurant do you like having the specials and things explained to you in detail

no i don't even listen i don't either it's just like something you've got to sit through if they're written on a blackboard i like that i like being able to read them but i can't hold that much information in my head at once that's not written down like by the time they're explaining the second thing i've forgotten the first thing yeah yeah so unless they say something that just leaps out at me as something i love like if they say the word prawns or you know something like that no it's just a it's just a necessary ritual i would like them to list what it is you know okay on the there's two specials one's a barramundi and one's um veal or something and then i go okay all. And I assume they're going to do wonderful things with both of them,

but I don't need what the beautiful things explain to me. You know, then they do this and then they do that. No, yeah, with the freshly ground sea salt and Tasmanian truffles and all that, and you're like, what? Oh, I can't hold all this information. Yeah, but there's a lot of pressure to nod all the way through, though, isn't there? Like, oh, right, oh, yeah, no, that's a good way to do it.

I was, you know, oh, yeah. Yep. And then. I also will hardly ever order the special. I like ordering things that are on the menu because I feel like that's what the chef knows. That's what they're good at. Yeah. I don't want, you know, I mean, I just order the same thing when I go to restaurants.

It's a restaurant I know. I'll just order what I had last time. Play it safe. I'm the same as well. I feel like I've got my thing for each place. You can't be messing with food. You don't want to order something you don't want. You don't want food envy.

At my local restaurant, they do this carbonara sauce that I really like, but they serve it with spaghetti, and I prefer penne. So I ask for the carbonara, but with penne instead of spaghetti. And I feel like so gourmet when I do that, like, you know, mixing and matching my pastas. And they're like, you know, like they're going to be, wow, you must have such a refined palate. Having penne with your creamy bacon sauce instead of...

Do you find the waiter sort of raises his eyebrows and... Impressive. I don't understand your penne obsession. Penne, to me, is the most boring of pastas. Like, it's a big tube. It's like for kids. It's weird. I think it's an excellent sauce-carrying device.

You know, it's got the ridges on the outside that help carry sauce. It's got the tube in the middle. It helps deliver maximum cream and bacon. Spaghetti just doesn't carry the sauce that I need. It's all scoopy bit. That's what penne is. It is. It is.

It's scoopy. I think it's the superior pasta. And I challenge anyone to say otherwise. It is fun when you put it in your mouth and you can stick your tongue into the hole. How thin's your tongue? Well, you know, you sort of roll it around your mouth. You can't get your tongue in a penne hole. Well, it splits apart, but that's kind of what you do.

You split it down the middle, like, with your tongue. You split pennes apart with your tongue. If I'm going to have penne, that's what I'm going to console myself. It's like, oh, at least I get to play the split the penne down the middle with my tongue game. I always like, I get like tortellini or ravioli that is i like it with a bit of meat inside here well yeah but that's like yeah but then that's different because now it's not about sauce delivery that's about that's a whole different experience that's like i mean of the plain pastas what's that your favorites of the plain pastas, what's your favourites? Of the plain pastas, what's the superior? Probably fettuccine.

You know, just nice, wide, thick, you know. I like that. Yeah, but it's messy to eat. Like, it's hard. Spaghetti and fettuccine, they're too long. They're too hard to eat, like, in an elegant way. Oh, I've managed it. Penne is elegant.

I'm very elegant with my... You can see what Tim does to fettuccine with his tongue I get the whole bowl onto the fork at once And I just munch at it When Tim walks into an Italian restaurant They're like, there's Tim the tongue-hine Tim twisty tongue-hine to an Italian restaurant, they're like, there's Tim the Tongue Hine. Tim Twisty Tongue Hine.

Don't you at least hold the penne in your mouth and go toot toot? Like it's like a little tunnel. No, I don't. No, I don't. It's like kids food. I think penne is very elegant. It's a very elegant pasta, in my opinion. If you're wearing a suit and you're at a dinner, it's an easy food to eat.

That's right. It's a good idea. Yeah. It's the thinking man's pasta. It's not the thinking man's pasta. Do you hold it like... By the way, you've probably noticed I've been trained in the UK to say pasta while you still say pasta. I'm not saying who's right or wrong.

I'm just saying I got belittled for a long time for saying pasta when I moved to the UK. So I finally got to pasta. what do the italians say have you heard an italian say it lately oh i don't know we'll have to find out any italians out there let us know um what's the most expensive item on the kfc menu by like like first for a for one person not like you know a mega bucket or something yeah yeah in in, not quantity. Yeah. I imagine it's one of the larger burgers, you know,

when they do those tower burger sort of things. Oh, jeez, they're good now, I'm thinking about them. Oh, no, I'm really hungry right now. On the Macca's menu, I think it's nuggets, isn't it? Would that be right? Is it? Although they have all those it's nuggets, isn't it? Would that be right? Is it? Although they have all those bigger burgers now, don't they? Those Angus burgers and all that sort of stuff now.

What do you do to a piece of KFC with your tongue? With my lips, I kiss it first. Can you remove the skin with just your tongue? What was your idea again? Oh, yeah, the most expensive thing on the menu. Yeah. That's a good idea. Look, look, let me tell you this.

It's like let's go out for dinner each week and get the most expensive thing on the menu. I'm up for that. But also you could take it everywhere, Tim. You could go to like an airline and say, what's the most expensive ticket you sell? And they would say, well, it's to this destination, this class and everything.

You go, all right, I want to try that. You could go to all sorts of shops, all sorts of things you can buy and say, what's the most expensive one? Yes, yes, big and small. Go to a car dealership and say, what's the most expensive car you sell? I want to test drive it. Like just top of the line. What's the most expensive thing in a supermarket? Good question.

Not including like those crazy aisles where they sell like toasters and stuff like that. No, no, it can't be like white goods and stuff, no. Yeah, that's a good, I'd love to, I would just love to know that. I want, yeah. And not including like, you know, razors. The most expensive edible thing in a supermarket per kilogram or just as

a single purchase a single line to pick it up and carry it and pay for it it might be if they have some very quality steak or roast or something that might be 40 or 50 dollars there might be fancy caviar yeah if they have the nice caviar yep in or a really nice um you know, like a beautiful, rich cake. Like in Australia, we have Ditter's Cake, which is beautiful, like Christmas cake. That's really nice. All right. Well, let's see. Shall we move on to today's sponsor?

Yes. Which is not Ditter's. It is Storyblocks. Storyblocks. Storyblocks. Storyblocks. Tim, last time you expressed some degree of sadness that I've been taking over the ad reads lately. Would you like to say something about Storyblocks before I start?

Sure, sure. Well, now it's time for Storyblocks. Brady, what do you love about Storyblocks? I love that Storyblocks has this incredible library of video, audio, images that for one monthly fee, you have absolute carte blanche, royalty-free use of for all of your own creations, your videos, your podcasts, anything artistic or promotional you might be making. If you need media, you need Storyblocks. Storyblocks has so much great stuff. I use it all the time in my own creations. It has become an essential part of my toolkit. And today, Tim, I would like to showcase a little bit of Storyblocks video by playing a bit of a

game with you. This is not a contest. You're not going to be shamed into not recognising your children this time. I'm just going to send you pairs of Storyblocks video of food, and I want you to tell me which of the two makes your tummy rumble the most. Which would you like to eat most of these pairs? Right. Are you up for this? Yes. First of all all i'm going to send you two examples of chicken because everyone knows you

love chicken okay so the first one it says delicious chicken pieces frying on a barbecue grill outdoor summer party ideas and there's some lovely looking pieces of chicken just uh with flames licking them as they approach readiness or this second one is from above view of fried pieces of meat and potatoes laid on paper napkin on wooden background more sort of the kfc style of chicken this one wow these are nice which of those two do you like? I think I like number one, to be honest. Really? Yeah, they're sort of frying on barbecue grill. I'm very suspicious of the, you know, going into the deep fried KFC style, if it's not KFC or the awesome Korean fried chicken place near our house. Right.

And I feel like the nice fried barbecue grill outdoor summer party ideas brought to you by storyblocks okay the next storyblocks videos i'm going to send you is going to take us into the world of burgers first of all we have as described in the storyblocks description great burger with beef cutlet tomatoes mushrooms and cucumbers with melted cheese on a wooden board on a light background. Nice. So if you were making a video about burgers, this would be a lovely piece of stock footage to use. Or if you were really hungry. Would you like to eat that, Tim?

Mm-hmm. So would you like that or would you prefer this second option, which is hamburger with stick and cola, junk food on wooden background background glass of cola with bubbles refreshing drink of dark color so we've got a nice looking burger some fries and a drink to go with it this time oh yeah well no that's beautiful too but i reckon i like the first one again first a beef cutlet some mushies i reckon that's which is australian for mushrooms it's um i like the look of that second bun, though. Oh, yeah. I don't know.

I can't decide between those two. Some nice chips there or fries, as they're sometimes called. But, no, I think I like number one. I'm enjoying your, like, every time you say something, you're then explaining to us what it is in, like, English. Some nice chips there or as they call them in Australia, chippies. How many years of you interpreting my Australianisms for reminding me that we have a global audience? I'm finally catching on.

All right, we're going healthy now, Tim. Good. First of all, we have vegan Buddha bowl, healthy and balanced food. And there's a whole bowl of delights there in this Storyblocks footage. Would you like that? Oh, it looks pretty good. Nice big chunky piece of avocado, which goes down well. Or would you prefer this salad with olive oil? And this is a nice piece of action footage as well, because we actually see the olive oil being drizzled over the salad. Don't know about those olives though. I don't like olives. I'm indifferent to olives too.

They feel like they're their own thing. If we're sort of sitting and having tapas and bits and pieces, I'll eat some olives. But when they're in a salad, I tend to leave them to the end and only come back to them if I'm in the post-salad sort of picking things out again. You know, chatting stage. So I reckon I would go with the Buddha bowl. Healthy and balanced food, stock video footage, story blocks. That's what I would go with the Buddha bowl, healthy and balanced food, stock video footage,

Storyblocks. That's what I would order. All of this food plus other food and everything else you could possibly imagine is available in the library at Storyblocks. Go to storyblocks.com slash unmade. Again, that's storyblocks.com slash unmade. So they know you came from here. And seriously, if you do anything creative or anything kind of that involves making anything,

you really probably should have Storyblocks in the toolbox. They're fantastic. Can I just say, yet again, you took over. You kind of gave me a chance. You handed it over. I was looking for a little comment and then I was going to go into a whole thing. But then you just took the ball and ran and I was looking for a little comment and then I was going to go into a whole thing, but then you just took the ball and ran and I was left alone.

I'd prepared all that food. I'd made a game for us. Tell me what you'd prepared in your spare time before the show. I didn't know you were going to throw to me this week. I mean, but, and you didn't really, did you? It was a bit of a Clayton's throw. Anyway, anyway, thanks Storyblocks. I'm telling you right now. Did you? It was a bit of a Clayton's throw. Anyway. Anyway. Thanks, Storyblocks.

I'm telling you right now, next episode, Storyblocks are back. You are preparing the game for next time. Yes. Yes, I am. Storyblocks deserves equal time from me as well. Next episode. Stay tuned. Tim's going to prepare something really special. That's right.

That's right. That's right. I am. All right. Now it's time for... Spoon of the Week. And Tim, can I quickly share a spoon that I was sent this week? Hang on. I'm just writing a note to myself.

Prepare Storyblocks idea. Yeah. I know what's going to happen 10 minutes before next week's episode. Spoon of the week. Tim, can I share this one? It comes with a message from Seb who's just written spoon of the

week exclamation mark. Seb, he has gone with his family on a holiday to calgooley the gold mining town is it a town or a city i'm assuming it's a town in western australia and one of the things calgooley is famous for and i'm sure caught seb's eye while he was there is huge huge trucks those massive trucks they use in mines, those big yellow ones that they fill with incredible amounts of rubble and then process to get the gold and stuff out of.

And we have a spoon here from Sebastian with a picture of a truck on the top, and it says Kalgoorlie Boulder WA, WA meaning Western Australia, and Kalgoorlie Boulder is actually, I think, the technical name for Calgouli. It's actually got this longer name sometimes, which I didn't know until today. No. No, I just call it Calgouli. And a great picture of a yellow truck on it. And everything else about the spoon is kind of that traditional, ornate, like fluted stem and lovely flowery head. And obviously this company that makes spoons just makes these generic spoons

and wax a different picture in the enamel section each time. And I have to say there's a kind of weird dissonance about seeing a spoon, which I think of like old-fashioned and I expect to see like a coat of arms or a flower or an animal or something. Having a big mechanical yellow truck depicted at the top there is a real curveball for my brain that i haven't completely got my head around yet but i love it these of course remind us of tonka trucks a fantastically popular toy did you have a tonka truck when you were a kid i i did have tonka i was very into tonka trucks and my family is full

of stories about brady and things he did with Tonka trucks when he was a kid. Really? Did you have multiple, not just a truck, but like a other machinery? I don't know. I can't remember. But the most famous story is that when my sister was newborn and she was getting attention and being fed and I would be jealous, I would get my Tonka truck and throw it against a glass door

repeatedly to get attention smash smash and they'll be all right all right i figured out that was how to get attention throw your truck against the uh the glass door i hope the guys at kalgoorlie don't follow in that pattern with these no they are cool are cool. They're forever in sand pits. It's wrong to see a sand pit without a sort of a rusty, sort of dented Tonka truck just half buried. Have you ever seen one of these big mining trucks in real life? I don't think I have. I think I've seen something similar when they were building this massive dam

near us in Gippsland when I was a kid. But, no, I don't think I've – I have been to a big mine site. Where am I thinking? I can't even remember where I was. I think I have, actually. Yes. I know a member of our extended family was driving one for a while, and she's, like, quite a small person, like, you know,

like a dainty little person, if you like. Well, not dainty, but, you know, small. And then it's just we've always been staggered by the thought that she was going down and then getting up in the cabin and driving these things, which are just huge. Love it, love it. I don't think I'd be good at driving them. I certainly couldn't park one.

Do you reckon they need to parallel park when they go down to the shops at lunch? Do you think they're allowed to take him home after work? It's like your work car. Good job. See you later. Head off home. Nice. Thank you, Seb.

That's a quality spoon. A lovely little addition there. But going back into the Hein family canon, Tim, I believe you have something special from the family collection today as well. I do. I'll just take a picture and send it to you. Our text message conversation is full of story blocks, pictures of food at the moment.

In another Gillette great moment in Tim taking a photograph, it'll be coming through now. This is like hot off the hind press. My mum came round for dinner tonight, which was just sort of an hour before we were recording and she whipped this out of the handbag and said she had just found it in a cabinet at home now of course being mum she didn't say it that quickly she stopped and said you know the cabinet next to the door and you know and i'm just sort of like she told it in a lost ring type of way. That's right.

Yeah. Well, I found this. And pulls it out. And she goes, now, what's that on top? And I said, well, mum, that's a crown. In fact, it looks like the coronation crown for the queen. And I asked mum where she got it. And she said that she can't remember because

it was so long ago and i said do you think you may have bought it when at the you know for the coronation or around that time um and she said i could have i bought some glasses and she still has these drinking glasses from the coronation and it could be from that time the only problem is there's no markings on it so it's sort sort of a bit bizarre. There's no writing anywhere. It's either worn. Well, one wouldn't imagine it's worn off. It does actually look like it's been used a lot. But mum can't remember where it came from.

It's in many ways very plain all the way down the stem. It's a quality spoon. It doesn't look like a tourist spoon, does it? It looks like, you know, it looks like from Buckingham Palace, like it's from the Buckingham Palace cutlery drawer or something. It's like quality. It's class. It's solid.

It's reasonably heavy, actually, which is more than a normal spoon. Did your mum bring it around to your house with, like, a spoon of the week in mind? Yes. Yeah. I've got a spoon you might be interested in. And I was like, oh, that's great, mum. We'll use that. Yeah. I've got a spoon you might be interested in. And I was like, oh, that's great, Mum. We'll use that.

Yeah. Yeah, it came in like a little zip-up, you know, plastic bag and stuff in her handbag. No. She didn't have the white gloves, but, you know, she certainly was excited to show me and I threw it in the backpack and brought it along. I like that it's both rugged and elegant,

almost like it's come out of medieval times, you know, where it's sort of worn down and yet. It does, yeah. It looks like it was found, like, during an archaeological dig out the back of St James's Palace. That's right. Yeah. Thank you, sir, and thank you, Mrs Hyne,

for another contribution to our growing canon of spoons. There'll be pictures on the video, on the website, all the usual places. And now it's that special time when we announce who is going to win an Unmade Podcast souvenir spoon. And which 10 people are going to receive a little handful of Unmade Podcast Spoon of the Week collector cards. The collecting craze that is sweeping the world. Of course, you have to be a Patreon supporter to be one of these winners.

Why don't you become a Patreon supporter today? Go to patreon.com slash unmadefm. We're always doing all sorts of fun, extra things and prizes and treats and stuff for the patrons. And one of those patrons who is now going to receive a spoon, a spoon, Tim, in the post. Not a picture of a spoon, a real spoon.

The real deal, an unmade podcast spoon made in England. It's Beth T from Virginia in the US of A. Congratulations, Beth. Congratulations, Beth. Very appropriate too on this day because it could be Elizabeth. So there we go. Of course. I didn't think of that.

Very rude. Yes, indeed. And cards. Speaking of, this is a bit of a bombshell coming here, man. Card winners today. Oleg Zed from Israel. Jordan M from Louisiana. Gutam K from the United Kingdom,

Jorn B from Norway, Henry N from Texas, Bart from the Netherlands, where I believe your father's from, Vince P from Kansas, Grant W from New York City, Kyle from Japan, and this is completely random. I have no say over this. Numbers and computers and electronics decide such things. Complicated algorithms have decided that we're also sending some cards to Colonel Katrina.

No way. In Adelaide, Colonel Katrina. Her name got spat out by the computer today. So I know she already has an impressive collection of Spoon of the Week cards. She's got a few more coming her way in thanks for her Patreon support. Well, that will be the highlight of her month. Yes. Wow.

You thought the baby was exciting. Thank you to all those people for being Patreon supporters and keep an eye on your post box. Cheese. Hi, everyone. Just a quick little message. You may remember a few episodes ago, we had an episode where my wife and I did a crossword puzzle.

A lot of you liked that, thought you'd like to see it or hear it again. We've done another crossword. If you'd like to find out the details, there'll be a link in the show notes and you can go and check that out, but we won't be posting it on the podcast feed. So if you want another crossword, go and have a look at that link. Kitchen. Tim, do you have a podcast idea today? I do. I've got something that's way back early in my list that I keep, and I've been thinking about ideas and variations to add to it, but I'm wondering if you can help me with that, because I feel like I've come to a bit of a dead end. But this podcast idea is called What If? dead end but this podcast idea is called what if and it's a podcast idea where you discuss hypothetical scenarios which doesn't sound too spectacular but i've thought of three that might

give a bit of a trajectory to the kind of thing that might be discussed the idea is that you would take these and discuss them in detail um testing and imagining how they land and how it would work. Let me give you the first one. What if monopoly money took off? Like I was thinking about Bitcoin the other day. Like Bitcoin, yeah. Which used to be worth nothing and then has grown exponentially. What if suddenly monopoly money gained value,

traction being traded around the world? Oh, I still feel a little tingle of excitement when I even think about those orange 500s. Like the red 100s are okay and the blue 50s are nice, but those orange 500s, I just felt like the king of the world when I had a handful of those. They're down the right-hand side when you've got all your money laid out with Monopoly and it's like, oh, we've got those two puppies

down there. As long as I've got one of those there, I feel like I'm in control of the game. It's like your nest egg. It's your pension. But imagine if suddenly a genuine – because economies are basically built on confidence and suddenly, you know, a strong and incredible rumor was doing the rounds that they were gathering speed and were being measured against um uh international um exchanges and and suddenly people were not only just pulling out their game of monopoly but looking at old

you know there's got to be some more i knew there was some down the back of the car like there was the back seat you know there was where's that old game that was falling apart with the camping gear there's got to be some in there and oh and like people would start forging it that's not a real monopoly 500 but even just like real money has that special paper monopoly money also has that special paper that's very hard to forge, I think. Oh, I like it. I like that. All right. That's a good one. Give me another what if. What if Tom Hanks played an evil character? I think the Monopoly thing is more likely to really happen.

Do you remember towards the end of Robin Williams's career, he suddenly went from being, you know, funny, wacky, fast, joking, you know. Yeah. Comedian Robin Williams to suddenly playing some dark characters. Like, oh, hello. There's a whole other sort of level to him. Yeah. Like one hour photo, I think. I never saw that film, but just judging by the preview, it's, yeah.

Even when Tom Hanks plays a baddie, he's good, isn't he? Like Road to Perdition and stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think Tom Hanks can be a total baddie. It's just like, it's just, it's like a truck on a spoon. It's not supposed to happen. It doesn't work.

No, no. Can you even remember a scene where he does something wrong? Like. Yeah. He doesn't even use his cutlery the wrong way around. Does he? Yeah. Yeah He doesn't even use his cutlery the wrong way round I can't think of him ever doing anything wrong He's just Yeah, like lose his temper Has he ever lost his temper?

Or be involved in an argument where You can tell he's got the wrong end of the stick You know what I mean? Like Even in Saving Private Ryan If there's an argument He the stick, you know what I mean? Like, even in Saving Private Ryan, if there's an argument, he sort of, you know, is the one making the truer ultimate sort of point or, you know. Yeah.

He's just. The look on your face, you're just like racking your brain. It's like. He's pretty great, isn't he? Yeah. So that's a very difficult hypothetical. We're literally here just staring at each other going, I've got nothing.

I'm just trying to think how I could Photoshop a picture of Jesus and put a What Would Tom Hanks Do t-shirt on Jesus. That's perfect. Yes, yes. Like if a rumour got out that Tarantino had cast Tom Hanks in his next film, you'd be going, out that Tarantino had cast Tom Hanks in his next film, you'd be going, well, Tarantino's obviously gone very vanilla. Reservoir Toms.

Reservoir Toms, where they just walk into a jewellery store and encourage the owners and pay properly and then walk out. Yeah, buy a nice engagement ring. Buy a nice engagement ring, that's right. Probably the closest he comes, I reckon I was a year ago or so seeing You've Got Mail, and he's a bit deceitful in that, even though ultimately it's to fall in love. He does deceive and play a few mind games with Meg Ryan.

You are scraping the bottom of the barrel if you're using You've Got Mail to portray Tom Hanks as a bad boy. Well, and he does put that shop out of business. Like it does go out of business, you know, and he doesn't sort of go, oh, no, let's not do it because she's lovely. But then again, that's true. He doesn't just save hers because he loves hers. He sort of plays a straight bat.

He's fair. He even does business properly. Yeah, fair. He even does business properly. Yeah, he does. He does business properly. He even puts people out of business in a nice way. Fairly. Just fair competition. It's just, you know.

Yeah. He just let the American way decide. In America, that's seen as his most righteous character ever. That's the pinnacle. Bigger than Forrest Gump. What's your third what if? What if Santa is real? Oh, my God.

What if he is? They should make movies about this idea, you know. This is a really good premise for a children's movie, you know, like pretending he's real and stuff. We could call it Miracle on Halifax Street. Oh, hang on. Well, actually, maybe our little listeners may not like that one. Well, maybe we need to put a little warning before that one.

I'll put a warning at the start. I'll put a warning at the start. All right. You know, but the thing is I got to another idea, but I didn't finish it. I wrote, you know, what if we're all, and then I didn't finish typing anything else in. So I need you to think of something. What if we're all. Podcasters.

We pretty much all are these days. Every conversation is being recorded and shared with everyone else. Yeah, I'm trying to think of something beyond the whole, you know, the whole, you know, the whole world is a computer simulation and stuff. What if we are all what? Able to fly but haven't figured out the correct movements to make it happen, you know? Yes, yeah. What if we're all Tom Hanks but he's just the perfect version, you know,

like we're all just imitations, flawed, tainted imitations. Or what if we are all like from different parts of the universe and there are these aliens who go around visiting all the different planets that we live on and we are like a collection of souvenir spoons and every time they see one they like, they bring it to Earth and put it here and the Earth is like their spoon collection and they just kind of wipe our memory and just put us here and every

now and again they just look at the earth and think oh look at all that like where their holiday mementos and we're all from these different planets and so you're from a planet where there's just loads of bradys but they just grabbed a random brady and yeah i was i was brady of the week Brady. Yeah. I was Brady of the week. That's cold. And, like, twins are when they go somewhere and they just like it so much they grab two.

They grab two. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. They've got two. Yeah. Well, it was two for one. Wow. The best.

Or maybe, like, they didn't take us from the planet. The planet decided to give us and we were planet, the planet decided to give us, and we were the ones the planet decided to give them as a memento. Oh, either because they're giving their best or their worst. And all the other animals are from other planets too, like the lions and the tigers and bears and things. So somewhere the universe is like the Lego factory, you know, when there's like a massive, massive tub of just blue little squares And then there's a massive, massive tub of yellow ones

And they get one from everywhere and put it together The universe is like that, just massive, massive Brady's all the way down You just gave me another what if What if the construction industry decided to start making everything out of Lego? to start making everything out of Lego. They just looked at it and went, why haven't we thought of this before? This is perfect.

What if Lego men are sentient? Oh, wow. They're just frozen or just very lazy or- I don't know. Yeah. Or very compliant, really, aren't they? I like your what if idea and taking it in that crazy direction because obviously there's a lot of serious things and there's even books called What If that are all about, you know,

taking these things, you know, looking at these things seriously. I do like the silliness of, you know, silliness of your direction. What if is a good idea? Maybe we'll do some more what-ifs another day. I appreciate your appreciation of my silliness. Thank you. idea maybe we'll do some more what ifs another day i appreciate your appreciation of my silliness thank you now look tim to finish the show and speaking of silliness this is a a message we got from a patreon supporter we occasionally like to read messages and ideas from our patreon supporters and this comes from ryan who is in virginia where today's spoon is being sent, in the United States. Ryan says his day job is managing a team of web developers and designers, and as a side

project, he likes to digitally preserve things that most people don't care about, like radio shows from the 1980s and 90s, user group newsletters from 30 years ago, and other little bits of cultural ephemera. Ryan sounds like your kind of guy. I think you two would get along. If you're ever in Adelaide, Ryan, look me up. All right. He was once an extra in a movie that has a 21% audience rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

The movie also featured Isaac Hayes and an actor from The Sopranos. So I was in good company. And Ryan also attached a screenshot of his moment in the film with an arrow pointing to him as an extra in the background that's gold yeah he didn't say what the film was so and i haven't actually done the detective work yet but we'll get there maybe he used to listen to the unmade podcast while doing his two and a quarter hour daily commute but since he started working from home he mainly listens during tommy ball practice he says now here is the idea for a podcast my podcast idea is called tim finds it amusing one of the greatest joys of the unmade

podcast is quite honestly when tim starts laughing at something it's a laugh that's so infectious it has no joke made a tough day better for me. The podcast would be released after each episode of the Unmade podcast and would just feature Tim's laughter from that episode. No intro, no ads, just Tim's laughs. Occasionally, Brady's laughter would make a guest appearance as well. I've attached the pilot episode for you to listen to. I challenge anyone not to smile. So to end today's episode, I'm going to play the audio file that Ryan sent.

He sent this a while ago, so I'm not sure what episode he made it from, actually. But it's just a compilation, basically, mainly of Tim's laughing for a few minutes. And as Ryan said, I challenge anyone not to smile. And I challenge everyone listening not to smile as well, because I played this last night and I cannot help smiling when I listen to it. And I opened it while I was sitting on the sofa next to my wife, like late in the evening. And normally when I open my phone and start playing some audio that relates to the Unmade podcast, that doesn't always go down that well. And so at first she was just listening i said this is just minutes of tim laughing and at first she sort of had a serious look on her face like why are we

listening to this in the evening and even she just gradually broke until she had a big smile beaming from her face by the end of it of course so to did. So to play us out, here is Ryan's compilation of Tim Finds It Amusing. Oh, dear. And I hope you all enjoy it as well. I don't know. No, you're fine. That's right. So would... Yeah.

Partly, yeah. That's it, fresh air. That's right. Post-Bungie food. Sausage fist. Definitely. Definitely. That's right, that's right. You just... Yeah, that's right. Look mate

It was funny the first time Save the shot It's just Oh that's cold. Oh, God. What the hell? What the hell? Well, I think... This is a great episode. This is a great episode.

This is one of my favourite. Thanks, man. I was thinking about someone else okay I'm sending this extra bit of recording so you can somehow fit in the words cheese and kitchen cheese kitchen somewhere in the episode thanks man