The Unmade Podcast - 96: The Boba Fett Nod

Episode Date: October 19, 2021

Tim and Brady discuss sneezing, a two-man supreme court, moments of respect, Princess Leia's wedding, Tina Arena, popular kids in primary school, Wes, a visit from Owen, and objects associated with ex partners. Hover - register your domain now and get 10% off by going to hover.com/unmade - and try some 'hovercraft' - https://www.hover.com/Unmade Go to Storyblocks for stock video, pictures and audio at storyblocks.com/unmade - https://www.storyblocks.com/unmade Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/unmadeFM Join the discussion of this episode on our subreddit - https://redd.it/qbdbj8 Catch the podcast on YouTube where we often include accompanying videos and pictures - https://youtu.be/P0QtLSaCwsA USEFUL LINKS Wikipedia on Sneezes - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sneeze The Kippah - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kippah The Star Wars Wedding - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yixG8pfncOs Sorrento, Victoria - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sorrento,_Victoria Tina Arena sings Sorrento Moon - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IBR6mHtgqk Tina Arena on Young Talent Time - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wekOZnbniRs Pictures of Spoon of the Week - https://www.unmade.fm/spoon-of-the-week Send your own spoon by following these instructions - https://www.unmade.fm/send-us-a-spoon

I just want to set the scene for people. Tim is podcasting in a suit. And I am wearing my tennis gear because I'm playing tennis straight after the podcast. So we could not be more differently dressed. You're wearing black tennis gear. I can't believe you live in England and you don't wear white. Pure pristine white to go and play tennis. Just like Wimbledon.

Next week, I'm going to the beach where they recorded the opening scene of Chariots of Fire. Oh, yeah. You don't wear white, pure pristine white to go and play tennis. Just like Wimbledon. Next week, I'm going to the beach where they recorded the opening scene of Chariots of Fire. Oh, yeah. And I'm so tempted to wear all white and run along the beach and get someone to film me in slow motion. I've got my tie here. Maybe I'll sleek that over my shoulder. A bit like, you know, the end of the night, a jazz singer just sort of has their tie undone just around their shoulder like that. Yeah. sort of has their tie undone just around their shoulder like that.

Yeah. I have had two ideas that I've been going back and forward between literally every few seconds about which one I should do. I'm going to go for this one. I'm going to go for this one. This is not like the most original idea. And I think there are so many podcasts in the world now that I think people have to get used to the idea that the Unmade Podcast isn't necessarily podcasts that have never been made. They're podcasts that have never been made by us. Oh man, that's going to make it so much

easier. The things that we would like to do or do in our unique way so this idea i've had i'm going to call this the supreme court and this is a chance for you and i to rule on things that are undecided once and for all we are the supreme court nice that will decide issues i'm not talking judge duty i'm not talking to people arguing over who owes who 50 bucks or who gets the apples from next door's apple tree or something. These are more big fundamental issues that need to be decided. Right. And I've got one for us now that was based on an experience yesterday. Yes.

I was doing the crossword yesterday with my wife, as always. And a clue was an involuntary expulsion of air. And the answer was a sneeze. And this has me wondering, is a sneeze voluntary or involuntary? Well, this is a question philosophers have debated for centuries, Brady. I'm not sure we're going to be able to do it justice in the few minutes that we have here. Yeah. It's a burning question. It's in the middle ground, isn't it? Because, like, the sudden compulsion to do it obviously is involuntary.

But then I feel like sometimes you have control over the timing. Sometimes you may even be able to suppress it. Other times you can't. Is a sneeze voluntary? I do know that when it doesn't eventuate, where there's the promise of a sneeze, but it doesn't occur. The promise of a sneeze voluntary? I do know that when it doesn't eventuate, where there's the promise of a sneeze, but it doesn't occur. The promise of a sneeze.

It's a romantic comedy. The promise of a sneeze. That new Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan movie. Well, there's a letdown. I mean, it's profoundly disappointing to have a sneeze not eventuate when there's been the promise of a sneeze. So it's, oh, dear. But certainly, I mean, if you were to compare a cough and a sneeze, sneeze, like, kicks it out of the park. There's no question.

The coughs are awful. Sneezes are amazing. Like, everyone loves a sneeze. Sneezes are generally nice. Most of the time. Yeah. Unless you've got hay fever And they overstay their welcome

You're not answering the question though Is it voluntary or not? Is it a voluntary The crossword said involuntary I think the fact that we feel disappointed when it doesn't happen Means that we don't have total control It's not like blinking Well, blinking's the same

You blink involuntarily But but you can control it. You can blink when you choose to or not blink when you choose to. That's right. Well, for a period of time, at least. I think I think it's involuntary. You can't suddenly go at you except by faking an at you. You can't sneeze at will. You're attacking this problem from the exact opposite direction of me, though.

When I think about this, I'm thinking, can I suppress the sneeze? Do I have that control? But you seem to be having the attitude of, can I conjure one up out of nowhere? So, you're looking at it differently to me, which is interesting in itself. And I think your argument actually, in some ways, is stronger. Yeah, you're looking at it differently to me which is interesting in itself and i think your argument actually in some ways is is stronger yeah you're right you can't conjure up a sneeze out of nowhere not without a bit of pepper but i'm saying if you feel like you need to sneeze if you can control it does that mean it's voluntary like for example your heart beating you can't just say all right

i'm gonna skip my next five heartbeats or I'm going to stop my heart for five minutes and then start again or I'm going to make my heart beat twice as fast, you know. No. Just with your mind. You can't do that. Unless this was a Tom Hanks movie, in which case my heart would be beating very fast indeed.

So, like, your heart beating is clearly involuntary yes you know and there are all sorts of things going on in your body that are totally involuntary blinking isn't interesting when you bring up hearing hearing is involuntary isn't it you can't help but hear things that's true well just breathing itself breathing you can control but it has to operate on its it's got an automatic pilot there are certain things that have an automatic pilot even though you can control but it has to operate on its it's got an automatic pilot there are certain things that have an automatic pilot even though you can take the controls by and large you let the automatic pilot do the job for you yeah like for example is going to the toilet voluntary well yes hopefully but but in other ways in other ways like you have to do it

and at some stage by the way i'm well aware i'm sure if we go onto google there'll be some name for these actions that are semi-involuntary but googling and finding out the actual scientific information goes against the spirit of this podcast in this conversation i know i'm support i'm sure other supreme court judges aren't just googling the answer i mean it's well beneath their station we need to go to the constitution can i just point out a problem with your idea as a whole though and that is that there's two of us famously supreme courts and high courts need an odd number of judges to ensure that they're not deadlocked they don't have to be odd numbered but yeah it helps it helps well

what if you say yes it's voluntary and, no, it's involuntary? Then we go with my decision. Right. I like to think of myself as the Chief Justice. So, basically, you're Judge Judy, and I'm that guy in the security uniform that just stands next to her. Is that right? Come to think of it, on a two-person court,

when I have the veto, you basically are powerless it's basically brady decides i'm the clerk that's right i'm the guy who gets to say all rise brady walks that's a big honor oh yeah i would love to be that guy just for a day. All rise. I used to go to court a lot for work when I used to cover court cases. And one of my favourite things to do is you're supposed to do a little bow to the judge when you come in and out of the courtroom. Like, you know, if the session's in progress. And I used to just love the respect of doing that. I used to love coming into the court and doing this little deferential nod. It felt so like, I don't know, I felt so full of honour.

Yeah. Yeah, it was really nice. It feels noble, chivalrous or something. It does, it does. Like when you go into a church or something and you dip your finger in the water and make a little, like in a Catholic church, you make a little cross, you feel like, even though it's not something I'm particularly believing in, I feel like this is so respectful of me.

I felt a similar kind of thing. Obviously, I don't necessarily – I feel that in a church, but it's much more familiar. But a couple of years ago I went to a synagogue, and there's that wonderful sense of newness and awe and respect around having to wear – is it a yarmulke? What is it that you wear on your head? Yeah, I think that's it.

Just being able to engage in their traditions for their, you know, had a lovely nobility to it and respect about it. Themes we don't often engage in here in the Unmade Podcast. As you can see, I'm wearing a suit tonight because of the way I like to engage in the dignity of our podcast recordings. I like to think if people come into the podcast partway through as well, they do like a little nod as they start listening. Like just a little.

I'm here. Like that nod that Boba Fett does in Jabba the Hutt's Palace. Best nod ever. Best nod ever. I wonder how many takes that took, that nod that Bob Buffett gave to Princess Leia. Do you know another little moment of respect I had this week is when I was driving along in the car and we all paused in traffic, the car in front. And then the traffic took off again, but the car in front didn't. And I was just like, oh, about to sort of beep or look at feel impatient and then i looked through the window and i could see that the guy had

a mcdonald's french fry bucket holder and was just doing that you know pouring it directly into his mouth thing like a cup yeah like a cup you know just going you know the last few no the last 10 so i just paused and just let him have his moment like this guy deserves that's a precious moment right there just everyone else can wait. Let's just give this guy some room, you know. I love the mental image of him having this cup of fries, pouring it down his throat, looking up, seeing the green light with horror, looking in his rearview mirror, seeing Tim,

and Tim just doing the Boba Fett nod. A little respectful nod. I hear you, man. I've given you that moment. I'm going to let you have it. Full respect. Whatever you've done, you've earned it today. Like, that's a great moment.

More likely he'd look in his rearview mirror and there would be Tim doing the exact same thing with some KFC chips. It's like, ooh, that's a reminder I've got something back here that I may have left. We've all been there My sister had her first car for two hours before she got crashed into It was partly her fault because she stole an intersection Because she was a new driver

But she got hit by a guy who was not looking and eating McDonald's Who then barrelled into her I don't remember that fact I don't know if she gave him a respectful nod when other when else do you do a little respectful nod in in society in polite society well a lot of them are driving one of them is when someone lets you in in traffic and you and or changing lanes and there's this like you know the the either the raise of the finger on the steering wheel or just the nod like that. Yeah.

There is always a strange situation. You know, when you're coming into a room or you're late for something, a meeting or something's going on and you sit down and you know that you know other people around the table or something. And so there's a little you have. Is it sort of like just a hello nod or something like that? Or is it a big hello hello you know like you've there's a there's a it's a fine line to work out how many people that you know you have to sort of give the eye acknowledgement of hello you and i know each other and i've arrived and i've recognized that you're here and i'm here and now i'm sitting down and let's all now look at the person talking again you know what i mean? Like that little dance is difficult to navigate.

I've got a friend who does a significant one, like not just a g'day. Yeah. Okay. But he actually does a hello. It waits till he sits down. Then he does a big, you know, hello, hello, hello. Like really respectfully. You realise I can see you, but everyone listening can't.

As you do these gestures. But they can see what, but everyone listening can't. As you do these gestures. But they can see what I'm doing. They can hear what I'm doing when I do a little. You can feel it. You can feel it. I'm learning a whole bunch of new moments like that where you have this swelling of nobility since I've started playing tennis a lot more. Because there are lots of moments of etiquette playing tennis. One of my favourites is like the bond of trust involving line calls. Like if the other person hits it and it's like miles away from them, but it's right near me and I can tell if

it's in or out. And there's the whole honesty system for me saying, yes, that was in, you win, or sorry, that was out by a centimetre a centimeter you lose and kind of the trust involved there and the not challenging each other is very like feels very special and would only happen at our amateur level but it's like you know i could have called that out and had the point but i'm being honest that was in by a millimeter and i'm letting you have it like there's lots of moments like that major gesture of sportsmanship and statesmanship. Yes. Statesmanship.

That's how I like to describe myself. A statesman. Lionsmanship. Do you have that sense that if you cheated, then winning is not going to feel that satisfying then? You know what I mean? Or it's just so pathetic to cheat at something so small. It's like, of course it was just, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, there's part so pathetic to cheat at something so small. It's like, of course, it was, oh, just, you know what I mean? Like, part of the enjoyment is the entering into it fully

by being good and true. And being a gracious loser, which I'm getting a lot of practice at at the moment. Like, losing but saying, that was really great. Thank you very much. Like, you know, that's nice too. I've never known you to be a gracious loser. I don't think we've played a sport where you've been a loser,

to be honest. I literally... That's because I'm playing you. That's right. I know. Where have we landed on the sneeze? Oh, I think it's involuntary. Involuntary.

Yes. Involuntary. But you're saying that because you can't conjure them up. You're not saying it because you have the ability to stop them or not stop them. No, I think you can't. I don't think you can stop them. I think you can suppress them, but not totally. Yep.

Okay. All right. Do you agree? Do you concur? I think they're in a grey area here. I think it's the middle ground. There's no grey area in the law. Yeah, well, yeah, you're right. I feel like they the middle ground. There's no grey area in the law. Yeah,

well, yeah, you're right. I feel like they're sort of semi-involuntary, but I don't know. I guess if I had to choose one or the other, I think maybe you've convinced me to make them involuntary. I thought they were voluntary, but I think maybe talking to you has persuaded me to go the other way. Gosh. I just think you don't like the idea of there's something that you do that you're not in control of like i think you're a control freak and you're like sneezing's not doing me i'm sneezing when and when i choose i'm controlling my heartbeats right now i've got everything on the go all these pots on the go so what what are your sneezes like are you one of those people that does those cute little, like, suppressed sneezes?

Or are you someone who does big, roaring, raw sneezes? I love to really throw myself into a sneeze. However, COVID etiquette makes that a little bit more difficult in public settings. Yeah. I sneezed today, but I was in the middle of, I was about to say something to someone and so i did i went to open my mouth and then i sort of had to turn away and do a whole

yeah sorry about that so is there any anything spring to mind that you would bring to the supreme court at the moment oh i know i haven't pre-warned you so many big issues um they're all these classic ones right like i don't want to do the old chestnuts like is a hamburger a sandwich oh is a tennis ball yellow or green oh well hang on a sec how are these old chestnuts i've not heard these before these are chestnuts is it yellow or well they're clearly green they're yellow i reckon they're not they're not they're not yellow tennis balls are yellow i yellow. I've had this discussion a few times before in another place. Have you got one there, though, if you're going to play tennis?

Have you got a tennis ball there? I'm afraid they're downstairs. Very convenient. You know, there are pictures of them on the internet, apparently. Well, we're not allowed to Google, though. Supreme Court judges don't Google. Yeah, you're right. Well, you're right, yeah.

Well, if there's anything you want to bring to the court at a later date or if there's anything any listeners want to bring to the court, unmadefm at gmail.com, send us an email. Tim and I will be happy to deliberate. And if we can't decide, then I'll deliberate. Yes, yes, yes. But I'll say, before you deliberate, I will say, all rise. All rise.

All rise. I'll cast host Brady Haran sitting. All rise. Host Brady Haran sitting. The right honourable Brady Haran. OAM. I love that. OAM, yes. Hey, when is your, this is a few weeks, when you are, I want to say knighted, when you are bestowed with the Order of Australia by a member of the royal family.

The investiture. The investiture, yes. And I should be getting my medal in a couple of weeks. Don't worry, man. I'll be letting you know when I get it. Very important to decide what vest you wear when you are invested, investiture-ed. I have to wear a suit.

I might borrow that one you're wearing. That looks pretty good. Oh, this is nice. I might go for the tie around the neck as well, like you were, just to get that kind of James Bond look. Walk into the castle i'm imagining a scene very much like the final scene of the original star wars where i should wear that yellow jacket that looks that yellow vinyl faux leather that would be awesome with boots oh that would be amazing

the only thing that'd be better would be a chewbacker. Oh, that would be amazing. The only thing that would be better would be a Chewbacca outfit. Although he doesn't get one, does he? He's just standing there. That's right. Just hope that Princess Leia gives it to you. Oh, that would be amazing. That's the princess.

Of all the princesses, that's the princess you want giving you one from the royal family. I think I've told you before that when I was a kid watching that scene at the end of Star Wars and I was really young, I thought that was a wedding and Han Solo and Luke were both marrying Princess Leia. Yes, yes. In fact, you've told me that. And then when we watched Star Wars with my daughters, I told them that you thought that and they both roared with laughter at you.

It would be a weird wedding. Get a medal. Well done weird wedding Get a medal Well done You get a medal for marrying this person I'm like, you know In my little head If there's a big crowd And a lady in a white dress

That's a wedding Yeah, that's right I guess I assumed Chewie was the best man I don't know what I thought was going on Let's talk about Hover Oh, Hover, great What do you want to tell me about Hover? Hover What do you want to tell me about Hover. Oh, Hover. Great. What do you want to tell me about Hover?

Hover. What do you want to tell me about Hover? Is the practice of buying a domain name through Hover and implementing it as your website domain name known as Hovercraft. Okay. known as hovercraft. It's a real skill. It's good craft. It's wonderful.

Practicing hovercraft. Practicing hovercraft. The practice of buying a hover domain, implementing it as your domain name for your website. I now say that from now on. That is hovercraft. Would you describe me as a hovercraftsman absolutely absolutely you are a craftsman all right because i've registered many many domains with hover so that makes me a real real hovercraftsman hover is the one-stop shop website that you should go to for registering and managing your domains. Someone like me has lots of domains.

Businesses, I imagine you should probably be registering lots of domains for various reasons. But I think even just the average man and woman in the street, it's worth having a few domains, whether they're to do with your own name, you know, timhine.net or timhine.spoon or something you might want to get or something to do with an event or a hobby you do. Having a domain is really good because even if you haven't got like a proper website that you've built from scratch, you can divert domains to your Twitter or your Facebook page or some other website. There are all sorts of things you can do,

and you can do it all through the interface of Hover, which is super easy to use, very reasonably priced. I'm a huge, huge fan. And you will get 10% off your first Hover purchase if you go to hover.com slash unmade, hover.com slash unmade. Make sure you do that for the 10% discount and so that Hover know you came from here,

from your favourite Hovercraftsman, Tim and Brady. You've been looking to register anything lately? No, I have very few domains, but the ones I do have, I have through Hover. I'm more of a sort of a part-time Hovercraftsman. Right, you're a hobbyist. You are more of a backyard sort of hover craftsman. Backyard domain registering.

You're a professional, though. You're a real professional. And the fact that you go to Hover is a credit to Hover. Seriously, it's a really good interface. Those of you who have had experience registering domains with other registrars will know they can be a bit of a nightmare. It can be confusing. Hover make it all so simple and elegant.

Just go and have a look at their site, and I think you'll be impressed. Go and practice some Hovercraft today at hover.com slash unmade. Well, one point of correction, hovercraftsperson is a title that's more inclusive, man. Hovercraftsperson. Hovercraftsperson. That's a lot of syllables, though, isn't it? And then so you can have hovercraftsperson, hovercraftpersonship.

Like, what do you want to do? Hovercraftpersons person... No, not... Hovercraft personship. I don't know. Yep, dot com. But get that from... It's time for... Spilled on the Week.

For first-time listeners who are still listening after that hover ad, which is quite something, Spoon of the Week is a section where we dip into the Hine family archive of souvenir spoons from holidays and experiences over the years that were collected by Tim's dad and mum, although his mum seems to have forgotten where most of them came from, and have now been passed down to Tim. He is now the custodian. And each week he pulls another one off the rack and shares it with us, the civilians.

What have you got this week, Tim? Oh, I'm really enthusiastic about this one because I've pulled it out a few, over the months, many times and then thought, no, I think we've done this one. It's so familiar to me because the image is very familiar and it's also a part of the place alongside Melbourne down on the peninsula, the Mornington Peninsula, that we've had a few spoons from, namely because that's where we went for lots of holidays. So it makes a lot of sense. We've collected a lot of spoons.

This spoon is beautiful. It's from Sorrento. Now, Sorrento is a beautiful holiday town on what's called the Mornington Peninsula. It's like the city of Melbourne, big capital city. You head down the coast to the beach. This is a beautiful place to go. There are lots of people that have holiday homes in Sorrento and go on holidays down there. And so this spoon is round at the top and it has a lovely, colourful picture of yellow, sandy beach and some waves coming in and the water and then some hills with greenery it's a really beautiful idyllic picture and then it says the word Sorrento underneath in a sort of almost like an art deco kind of style I like it I like it yeah it's like it's a it's a good

looking spoon of course there is also a place called Sorrento in Italy which is one of the world's most famous holiday destinations yes yes when I think called Sorrento in Italy, which is one of the world's most famous holiday destinations. Yes, yes. When I think of Sorrento, though, I can't help thinking of Tina Arena. Sorrento Moon. Yes. Tina Arena is an Australian singer who's also huge in France. French listeners will know her as well.

She had a song called Sorrento Moon. And I have to say, I love Tina Arena. When I was a kid, she was on a television program called Young Talent Time. And I loved it so much that on Saturday afternoons, when it was about to start, my mum or dad would get to the back door and call out to where i was playing and say it's tina time and i would come in to watch tina arena and um so we've sort of grown up together she has this i love this song sorrento moon as well it's on like one of my playlists

on my iphone good is that about sorrento near melbourne or Sorrento in Italy? Funny you say that. It's about Melbourne. She's from Melbourne. And I've actually heard her make that point in an interview where listeners around the world have thought the song was about that Sorrento, but actually it's about where she went on holiday when she was a kid just south of Melbourne. So I like that little connection as well. Well, you've got the spoon. You've got the song. you've got the song,

you've got the fond memories of Tina Arena. What's Tina Arena up to these days? I think she lives in either France or Melbourne or moves between them. You know how it's peculiar how suddenly an artist becomes massive in another random country? And she's like that in France. She's massive, but then in not another European country so much. And then, of course, here at home in Australia. Good stuff., but then in not another European country so much. And then,

of course, here at home in Australia. Good stuff. Tina time. Tina time. That's right. Tina time. Now, we like to give away a souvenir spoon each week, an unmade podcast souvenir spoon, which we've had struck here in the UK. The lucky Patreon supporter who's getting one this week is Ben G from Leicestershire. Congratulations, Ben, here in the UK. And also, this week I've got five people who are going to receive Spoon of the Week collector cards. We have an incredible range of collector cards,

of spoons that have been featured in the past. And cards are going to be sent to the squid from seattle monty from surrey heinz o from austria and then incredibly monty from surrey came out of the hat again so monty's getting a double dose of spoon cards go monty and then another coincidence a G Also from Surrey So we've got a whole bunch of spoons Heading off to Surrey Which is a county in the UK

And so you will get cards And this week for the first time We've also randomly chosen a Patreon supporter To receive one of our Mixtapes of Sofa Shop covers And that is going to be sent to Jim from Omaha in Nebraska

You are receiving fantastic mixtape audio cassette of sofa shop covers congratulations go to patreon.com slash unmade fm if you'd like to support the show help us make more episodes but also receive goodies like that don't you do a thing until you see the sofa shop congratulations everybody especially half Congratulations, everybody. Especially half the residents of Surrey. Yeah, exactly. All right, Tim, have you got an idea for a podcast? I took a bit of a random selection process tonight

where I couldn't decide on my idea, so I flicked through my list until I put my finger on something. And the idea that's come out is the coolest guy in my primary school. When you're a kid, right, there's two things that shape cool. One is who you see on the TV, you know, like movie stars and, you know, Jon Bon Jovi or whatever in music video clips and stuff, but also the cool in close proximity. That is the person who's at the top.

The popular kid. The popular kid, yeah, yeah. And maybe that's a better title, the most popular kid in my primary school. These are people that peak very early in life. You know, somehow they make it to the top almost immediately. And do they last? Do they last? Like, where are they now?

Are they still awesome? Or did they, like, was that, like, the start of a decline? Are they still the head of the coolest kid in primary school? Let's hope they've graduated. Yeah. At least into high school. When I think about this category for me, I think about a guy called Wes. Wes.

Wes, yeah, yeah, Wesley, yeah. And Wes was a cool guy. Wes was, you know, he's a good-looking guy, had a nice mullet. At one stage he had a rat's tail because that was pretty cool there. That's a hairstyle for people who think there was some kid at Tim's school walking around with an actual rat's tail because that was pretty cool there he played that's a that's a hairstyle for people who think there was some kid at tim's school walking around with an actual rat's tail rat's tail i'm sure they were universal in 1986 come on yeah fair enough yeah wes played footy um was he good at footy yeah he was he was really good at footy he played senna harford he was a big kid

was he was he big no well in primary school terms no he wasn't big but he was a big kid was he was he big no well in primary school terms no he wasn't big but he was a strong mark um yeah back then you tended to have your big guy in full forward it was remember the old days of full forward and the center half forward was more you know skillful getting out of the center okay and uh i was i was in the forward line pretty much just watching these guys play football around me as I shivered in the cold. I wish I had my glasses on. So were you good mates with Wes? Were you like, were you in his inner circle or was he just like, was he too high up for you?

Too high up for me. I wasn't far though. He seemed to like me or like encourage me to come and join the footy team. And every now and then was nice. Do you know i mean but we weren't close mates no he had like some cool close mates and i wasn't part of that um no and do you do you know what happened to wes did he stay cool i i i'm sure he stayed cool i think he's driving big trucks like mac trucks and stuff you know like which is even cooler i know in prime school eyes is like the most and stuff, you know, like, which is even cooler. I know. Primary school eyes is like the most amazing thing ever.

You know, huge, big trucks. I think that's what he's doing. I actually have no idea. But I remember years, quite a few years later after primary school, like after high school even, but still like 20 years ago, I was going through my hometown and I looked him up and went to his workplace and said g'day and that sort of stuff. He wasn't driving trucks then. I think I've just seen that somewhere since maybe, I don't know where, on social media probably. Yeah, so, yeah, Wes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's so funny. You can still see, I can still see him crystal clear in my eyes. And there would be days when I would sort of put on clothes in the morning thinking, oh, geez, I hope I look like Wes today, you know, like. in the morning thinking, oh, geez, I hope I look like Wes today, you know, like. So, I like this idea and I like it because there's obviously a real sort of cliche or trope that, you know, the cool kid in high school who's like the quarterback or something like that, and then he'll become a bit, and he'll be like the prom king, you know, or something like that.

And then the cliche is he'll become a bit washed up and never leave his hometown and always live on those sort of past glories. It's a bit of a cliche, isn't it? That the kid who's the most popular in high school then doesn't really amount to much. And that's, I don't know if that's true or not, but I like the idea of projecting it further back to primary school because it's somehow a bit cuter then because being the popular kid in primary school is somehow a bit sweeter than the person who's the popular kid in high school who can often be a bit of a bully or a bit mean and that but in primary school you still like him even though he's popular like a lot of people

resent the popular kid in high school yes but you don't resent the popular kid in primary school yes the pecking order at high school can be quite brutal um in in primary school it's a bit softer everyone's a bit a bit more even in retrospect yeah yeah yeah even though it doesn't feel like it at the time that's for sure yeah the popular kid for me was definitely simon right and like and he was like and he was like the best athlete and the fastest runner which is the key to popularity and i've told stories about simon before a famous famous Father Christmas story. Like, you know, we were talking earlier about the Supreme Court who decides if something's true or

not. It was Simon. Simon basically decided if something was true or not, and all the other boys just would do whatever Simon said. He had a lot of yes men around, did he? Exactly, yeah. So, like, I've told the story about Father Christmas, so I won't tell it again. But another story I remember involving Simon was he had his birthday party, and I think it was at the Adelaide Aquatic Centre. And when we were driving back from the Aquatic Centre, back down to Glenelg where we lived, we had to drive along West Terrace in Adelaide,

and there were a whole bunch of car dealerships there. And as we were driving past a car dealership, in Simon's family car, actually, I saw a Ferrari parked in the forecourt for sale at one of these car dealerships. And I'd never seen a Ferrari in real life. You would never see a Ferrari in Adelaide. And I was like, oh, my God, it's a Ferrari. And I was pointing at it and no one else saw it.

And I was telling them, I swear I saw a Ferrari. And I felt a bit like Chunk in The Goonies when he's saying that he'd seen all these amazing things and no one believed him. Like how he said he saw a car chase with guns and stuff and everyone's there, whatever, Chunk, you always make stuff up. And no one believed me. And Simon told all the other boys, there was no Ferrari. Brady's making it up. And I was a pariah all week at school as this kid that had made up this story about the Ferrari. And Simon went home, I think, and told his parents that Brady was making up this story about the Ferrari. And Simon went home, I think, and told his parents

that Brady was making up this story about a Ferrari, but don't worry, I've taken care of things. And like, he's now, you know, he's public enemy number one. So, Simon's dad, bless him, that weekend drove into Adelaide to West Terrace to check and went to the car dealership. And sure enough, there was this Ferrari there. And he was like, this is amazing. And he went and got Simon and took Simon to the car dealership so they could go and do this

Ferrari so the next Monday at school Simon turned up and like retracted and said guys there is a Ferrari on West Terrace Brady was telling the truth and I was like oh thank god I'm all right again but the Ferrari only existed when Simon said it existed not when I said it existed, not when I said it existed. Well, this is, there is so many layers to this story. First of all, amazing that his father would do that. Like, you know, he's like the rogue lawyer going off and finding the little piece of evidence to overturn the verdict. Look, Your Honour, look, Your Honour, I found it. Like in the name of the father. That's right.

Unbelievable. In the name of the father. That's right. It's unbelievable. Secondly, the fact that this was a thing that an adult needed to verify, there being one Ferrari in Adelaide, is giving people a far more proportionate view of Adelaide's size and scope as even a capital city. There was one Ferrari. Again, I don't really know what happened to Simon. He has a very small online footprint, not on social media that I can find.

So I don't really know what happened to him. I once spoke to someone else who I went to primary school with who had seen him once from a distance and said he looked really tough now and had lots of tattoos. But, you know, having lots of tattoos is really cool now. Could have been David Beckham, so... That's all right. But that's all I know. All I know is that he got tattoos later in life. That's all I know about him.

It was... That's not a lot. And he drives a Ferrari. And he's probably now got a Ferrari. That's been the dividing event of his life. He was a very, very talented runner. He broke lots of records. Well, what does that mean in primary school?

Running, I mean, running is, like, it's all just running until you get to the fastest person alive. You know what I mean? Like, what do you mean broke records? What records? I think I always, well, no, I mean, as he got older, he broke state records. But even when he was young you know

like we would like you know how you do school sports days right and he'd win everything of course but then there would be like the intra-school sports days where you compete against other schools and then we all get thrashed but he would win all that he would win all those events and beat all the kids from the other schools and then he would represent the state and he was like a he was like a proper proper runner oh right like like a proper athlete not just like from your classroom to the monkey bars and back he was like no you know there was one thing that happened at a school sports day once though you know the film chariots of fire which i can't bring it up for the second time today there's a there's a scene

in chariots of fire when eric little gets knocked to the ground uh at the start of a race and everyone runs away and he gets up and just puts gets the bit between his teeth and just overtakes them all from miles behind and wins this race this frequent that actually once happened to a race with simon at a school sports day he got knocked over at the start of this race and everyone ran ahead and he was on the ground and i thought oh my god i'm gonna see simon lose a race for the first time in my life and he got up and dusted himself down and then just took off and did this Eric Little run over 400 metres around absolutely everyone and beat them.

It was incredible. Oh, wow. Probably the only thing I didn't like about, because I was actually one of Simon's best friends. I was in quite a small school, so it's not like I was the chosen one, but we'd gone to school together all our lives, so we were very good friends. The only thing I didn't like about Simon was all the girls fancied him.

So if there was ever a girl you had a crush on, you never had a chance because all the girls just had a crush on Simon. So it was like, what chance have I got? Yeah. Yeah. So you could run fast and girls like. Didn't you go to an all boys school at that stage, though? No, this was before I went to an all boysboys school all right primary school was girls i thought i'd found a flaw in your story but no like the like the ferrari it's born out true yep

honest brady i did it with my hatchet what What if we had Wes and Simon on to interview them and talk to them about, did they know how cool they were when they were young? Were they aware that they were the stars in our eyes? Imagine if they listen to the podcast now and think we're awesome. That's not very likely, is it? No. After all these years, He decides to look me up Looks me up and I'm talking about him

Just be going Yep Still obsessed Still following me around He once weirdly came to my workplace To check up on me Years later he's still making podcasts about me That should have been your podcast idea The wes podcast just what's he doing now

talking what does that say on that bracelet you're wearing tim what would wes do wwwd hang on i got someone at the door of the church here let me just check oh is it the policeman is it the policeman oh it could be owen yeah lovely owen let me go and check if it's him or someone breaking in and i have to go get him to help if it's owen bring him in all right all right all right for those who don't know owen is the retired policeman who goes to tim's church and lives across the road from the church so when tim's recording late at night and he sees the lights on in the office he comes in and checks up oh i hope it's owen come come and have a seat owen here yeah it's owen he's coming okay yeah now this is put this in your ear owen and i'll put the other one in my ear okay yeah just this this ear on this

side yeah all right hi owen it's br Haran here. This is my friend Brady. Can you see Brady there? Yes, I can. Yes. Oh, nice to meet you, Brady. Nice to meet you too. Yeah, you keep good company, obviously. I do.

With Tim. Yes. Yeah. I think Tim's one of the luckiest ministers in Adelaide to have a pair of eagle eyes watching the church every night for any happenings. Well, I think I'm lucky to be blessed with such a great minister. What brought you over to the church? Were you just checking up on the lights and the activity late at night?

Oh, I just saw that Tim was over here and I thought I'd just pop over and say hello. Anyhow, I hadn't really spoken to him for a couple of weeks and I missed a meeting the other night, so I thought if I'm not annoying him too much, I'll pop over and say hello. Tim tells me that you were once one of Adelaide's finest. You used to be a police officer.

Yes, I had 40 years with that enterprise, yep. How was it? Oh, it was good. I'd do it again, yes. I joined up at a time in 1961 when there was a severe economic situation and so on. And, you know, I had a job that wasn't all that secure. And my father said, or a friend of my father's actually, he said to me, why don't you join? He was a police officer. He said, why don't you join up? And I thought, oh, yes, that's something I can do.

I never intended to stay very long. It was always going to be sort of just another one of those things. But the longer I was there, the more I enjoyed it. Oh, and did you ever get to carry a gun? Oh, yes, yeah. Not regularly, only in special circumstances. Yeah. And I spent four years on the homicide squad in my detective days

and we were required to, we had to have a monthly regular shoot because I was, as a member of the homicide squad, I was ex officio, a member of the armed offenders apprehension group. I tell you what, Owen, I bet a retired homicide cop could make a fantastic podcast. Oh, I don't know about that, but I had some interesting times, certainly. Has Tim ever told you the story

of how he tried to become a police officer? No, he hasn't. I'll have to... He's such a busy boy. I don't like to interrupt him too much, but... Oh, you should ask him about it next Sunday. Oh, okay. He was rejected by both the South Australian and the Victorian police.

Oh, no. Well, he's got all the characteristics, I think, that would suit South Australia. Why do you think Tim would be a good police officer? Oh, he's sharp. He's got a good brain. He mixes well with people. He's got a good brain. He mixes well with people. He's got a very good rapport.

You know, he's very, very easy to have a conversation with and he obviously enjoys being with people and he's got a good sharp brain. And that's a great asset. I worked with a guy who I used to envy him actually because he had a photographic memory and he could listen to a conversation, a long conversation about something and he'd take it all in. Tim would be like that. He would have it instantly amongst other characteristics.

I think Tim's problem centred more around fitness. Oh, well, that's fairly important that dimension well well he's he's giving you half the story here i can clarify this for you later on a little bit of detective work into this story is required to uh yeah get to the essential truth the fundamentals of it are pretty accurate though i'm not a police officer so that bears out owen can i say it was really lovely to finally get to meet you. You're sort of a little bit famous on our podcast because of sometimes coming around and visiting and checking up on the lights at the church. So we think you're a bit of a hero. So it's lovely to finally put a face to the name. Oh, okay. Thank you.

It's been nice to meet you. Hopefully next time I come along to Tim's church For one of the services I'll get to meet you in person Please do, it'd be lovely to meet you Alright Take care mate, thanks for your time All the best

The legendary Owen I'll see you How about when I'm done I'll pop over and see you Can you lock the front door How's that, Owen? Yeah, yeah. Can you lock the front door on the way out, Owen? Thanks so much.

See you soon. Bye-bye. Well, that's a bit special. You're a bit lucky. I'll tell you what. I'd make him an unmade colonel, but that would be a demotion for Owen. That's right. He's got such a fantastic police voice, doesn't he?

Just the grand baritone. So reassuring, but authoritative, but friendly. Brilliant. I was ready to confess to a murder I hadn't even done. He'll say, I didn't see a Ferrari. I didn't. I didn't. I made it all up.

What a lovely interlude. This episode has been sponsored by storyblocks everyone get out a piece of paper or your phone or something right now and write this down storyblocks.com slash unmade storyblocks.com slash unmade because that is the website you need to go to right now or straight after this conversation because that is where you are going to find an online library of stock media video audio pictures after effects and premiere pro templates all that good stuff that you can use royalty free in your own creations they've got subscriptions that will fit any budget including their special unlimited all access plan which as the name suggests gives you unlimited downloads i use storyblocks in fact i use storybox pretty much

every day i'd say for sound effects in my videos and little video clips and things i need for my youtube work and my YouTube work and my podcast work. One thing worth mentioning as well is they're always expanding the library. And one of the things they're really working on at the moment is getting more diverse and inclusive content into that library. They've got this project called Restock, which I think is quite a clever name. And that's their commitment to increase representation in stock media by hiring creators from marginalized communities to make content that's more reflective of the diverse world we live in they're doing it all storyblocks what a marvelous organization i'm searching up pictures

of police policemen policewomen oh yeah yes there's um good stuff there loads like 250 yeah have come up initially yes so if we were making like a um fictionalization of owen's career yes and we wanted to and we needed stock footage of like police walking the beat you know apprehending offenders we could use storyblocks material instead of having to go out and expensively make all that material ourself, which we wouldn't make as well anyway. That's right. That's right.

In fact, in the video section, there's, yes, 764 little bits of footage all over. It's not all of Owen, obviously, but it's of other people. No. But it sort of is representative of the sort of work Owen did. That's right. Absolutely. Yeah.

Go and check it out people storyblocks.com slash unmade if you do anything creative in pretty much any format storyblocks is going to be a very very useful arrow in your quiver is that that's right isn't it quiver of arrows weapon in your arsenal something like that story, it's essential. It's essential for me anyway. And it should be essential for you. Should we do my other idea I had? Yes, yes. Oh, a double idea from Brady.

Here we go. This idea, before I start, I want to do a bit of a disclaimer because this is quite a fun idea and I mean it in a spirit of fun and laughs. But I realise for some people, some people it can be a more sensitive subject for various reasons and I'm not blind to that, but do take this purely in a fun way because this idea is called The Ghost of My Ex. And I'll tell you where this idea comes from.

The idea actually comes from when we had the author and our friend John Green on the show. And John got a spoon for us, a spoon of the week from his own house. And he had this souvenir spoon that he said belonged to his wife. And he didn't know the story behind it because he thinks it came from some holiday that she had been on with an ex that she had before she even met him. And it had just stayed as part of their family. And that made me realize that many of us who are in relationships of some sort still have these sort of objects or legacies and things in our life, in our world, that are these kind of echoes or ghosts of former partners. A classic example from my house also comes from the kitchen. My wife had these kitchen knives that we have only just recently replaced

after many, many years of marriage. And they were her ex-boyfriend's kitchen knives. He was apparently liked cooking and bought these fancy knives. And she kept them when they broke up and then they became our knives and they were our knives for years and years and every time i looked at them i thought oh that's it that's her ex's knives that was like a ghost of her ex i think and i think lots of us have these things in our life and i think i don't know i think i look at them quite fondly and funnily some people might not i don't know is I think I look at them quite fondly and funnily. Some people might not.

I don't know. Is this something that resonates with you in any way? Like, are there ghosts of exes in your house? Yes. Well, I found one that was really quite funny. One of the Bibles that my wife was still using and reading around the house is one that she's had for a long time. And, you know, you might have done this with a textbook at school. You know how if you hold a book, a thick book sideways,

you can kind of write on the edges of the pages? Like you can, you know what I mean, draw a picture and stuff on there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I've actually forgotten his name, but she had I, like in massive letters down the side of the spine. It's not the spine. It's the other end of the spine, isn't it? Yeah, the paper, yeah. So if you flick the pages, the word kind of appears before you.

That's right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. She had I and then a big red heart and then his name, whose name I can't remember, which is maybe just as well. Yes, down the edge of this Bible. So it's like a teenager's Bible, you know, with the I love my boyfriend. She'd just written I love my boyfriend.

Right. And she still uses it now, isn't it? Like I found it. We'd been married 10 years, you know, and she's still got that Bible and using it and reading it and stuff as one of the ones around the house somewhere like for study. And it was just like, it's just so awesome. It's a weird thing to write you love your boyfriend on a Bible.

That seems like a sacred text. You should write I love Jesus, if anything. That's what you do, isn't it? When you're a teenager, you write, you know, on just about everything, your pencil case, your bag, your ruler. You didn't get funny and ask for that Bible to be removed from the house? No, no. I thought it was great.

I thought it was hilarious. It's still around here somewhere. It might be on my shelf even at my academic office where I've got heaps and heaps of Bibles. It's somewhere. We didn't throw it out. So I thought it was hilarious. Inside there's all sorts of graffiti and stuff like that as well,

other things she's written, which is nice. Also, like, even if you were funny about it, which I know you're not, but you can't really ask someone to dispose of a Bible. Maybe you could just guillotine carefully along that edge, you know. Shave it. Shave it off. Shave each page. I'm out there with a wood plane.

Zoom. Zoom. Taking the Bible down a little bit. I've got other things. I can't think of anything too particular. A CD from a girl that I dated years and years ago. Actually, that's something a bit different. You know, something they've bought you as a gift.

You don't really want to get rid of that. If it's something that's theirs and you've ended up with it, that's a bit different, isn't it, to something they've given you that's, you know. I can imagine if it was a piece of jewellery that someone was still wearing that was a gift from an ex, that might start veering close to the territory where you'd feel a bit, I don't know how I feel about that. Like an engagement ring. gift from an ex that might that might start veering close to the territory where you'd feel a bit i

don't know how i feel about that like an engagement ring that's a that's a extreme example yeah yes that might that might be a little bit like do you have to wear that wear it on your body every day i'm not sure about that but you know tattoos would tattoos tattoos would be a problem. You can't really hand them back, though, can you? It's a good idea. There can be mines in this field. Yes, it can either be an interesting jumping off point or it can be, yeah, a slippery slope to some awkward conversations. I mean, all the ones in our house are fun. There's a few decorations around the house that my wife bought on holidays with an ex-boyfriend.

And, you know, they're just such amazing objects that we have them on display. But I have no problems with that. Like a portrait that he had done. No, he says no. It's a little bit like, as a podcast idea, a great first question in the conversation. But the second question after they've said, oh, this is the object and this is where we got it, the second question is a bit fraught. Like the second question ends up being, hmm, tell me more

about your relationship with this person. And then suddenly you're, well. Conversations, though, about exes, I think, are interesting. You're right. They're total minefields and, like, you know, it's not somewhere most people would want to go. But sometimes, like, when you've had a friend or someone in your life for the last five or ten years, so you've only known them as, like, an older adult and you know everything about them now. You don't often ask people about their exes. Like, I'm sure you've got friends about your age who you've had for about five or ten years, right?

And you've probably known them as married men, perhaps, to one woman all the time you've known them. It's not a conversation that comes up a lot. Tell me about your exes. Who did you used to go out with in your teens, in your 20s? Like, I had a mate. And I've been mates with him for ten years. And he's been with the same girlfriend the whole time I've known him. And I remember one day we went for a drive and I just asked him a bit about his exes and what they were like, who the people he'd gone

out with before were like. And it was like, he was a whole new person to me. He was talking about, oh, I can't imagine you going out with someone like that, who did that job or who looked so different. And like, it can really be really, it can make you look at people in a whole new way. Like people like you and I, it doesn't work for because you know all my exes and I know most of your exes. And so, you know, then it's not interesting to you. You've just, you've seen the evolution of the people I go out with. But if it's someone who's new to your life and you've never opened that door before and

suddenly you find out with... I remember, funnily enough, I remember I had this conversation with my dad recently. I went away on a trip with my dad and I'd only ever known him married to my mum and his second wife. And we were just like, you know, having dinner. And I asked him, what girlfriends did you have before you met mum? Did you have any long-term girlfriends? Who were they? Tell me about them.

And he told me about these people who I'd never heard of before. And, like, it was amazing. Like, and it was like this whole new world. So it can open up a really interesting new world on your friends when you find out about their exes and their previous relationships, if it's a place you can go. It can define a season. You go, oh, that year or this particular time and so it's a way into finding a bit about what they were like

at that time rather than just their childhood and then how they are now you're right it's a specific insight into a whole bunch of habits and activities it also makes people seem more three-dimensional like you know that they had this whole other life and world going on before you met them that you've never really thought about you know they've got this whole history and they've got this whole world of memories and happiness and pain and things that that you are completely blind to but it's such a big part of who they are you also by definition you're not with them anymore and And so obviously you broke up. It ended.

It's interesting with the hindsight of 20 years or whatever it's been to look back and go, oh, yeah, no, I, you know, and reflect on what you did at that time and how you handled it or what happened and all that. And you know what I mean? Oh, you could do that with a whole range of situations in life, maybe a job situation or a dilemma somewhere. But you look back with wiser eyes and go, I can see, you know, what I did there or what happened there. Now I can get it. It is a fraught topic. I'm sure it's a place we won't go again.

We've gone as deep as I think we dare risk go today. But it is interesting. It is interesting. It is an interesting part of life. Did you have any secret words you needed to smuggle into today's episode? No, I haven't been home, I have to say, yet. I've been at work all day, flat chat, and then I've come straight here and I haven't had any.

I'll just check the phone to see if someone thought of sending one in, but no, no, nothing. So that's a relief. I'm not in trouble. I'm trying to decide. I think you look slightly older wearing a suit. Well, I think most people do, don't they? It's actually not a suit.

It's a sports jacket. But I've got sort of other coloured pants on. It's not strictly speaking a suit. Oh, what trousers are you wearing? It's sort of some olive coloured. They're dress pants, but they're a little bit tight. Yeah, it's more of a sports jacket, sort of white shirt combo. Yes.

Very nice. You're off to play tennis? Off to play tennis, yes. I'm playing tennis with a retired policeman as well. Wow. That's such a quaint English experience. I'm going down to the village to play tennis with the policemen.