The Unmade Podcast - Special: Brilli Timilli

Episode Date: June 30, 2020

Tim gets his right of reply about the 1990 American Music Awards - and Brady ponders an "Unmade Popstars" band. You can also catch this episode on YouTube with some accompanying video and images - https://youtu.be/5WRo8vaH-Ik Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/unmadeFM Join the discussion of this episode on our subreddit - https://redd.it/hinr3m USEFUL LINKS Catch the original episode in which Tim was denied he chance to discuss the music awards - https://www.unmade.fm/episodes/episode50 And also on YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GL5D7lAtmvQ A version of the 1990 AMAs uploaded from VHS to YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-na7BD1eEs The Black Stallion Returns - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2YJECANG6A "Music is the Soundtrack of our Lives" - https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/284082-music-is-the-soundtrack-of-our-lives Milli Vanilli - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milli_Vanilli The Real Milli Vanilli - https://www.therealmillivanilli.com Lyle Lovett - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lyle_Lovett New Kids on the Block - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Kids_on_the_Block You can catch Girlfriend - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7J30Z4eqlWs And Bon Jovi - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ldpp23xC35w at the 1993 Australian Music Awards Oscars Blunder - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-I6x_iPF5o Dorchester, Boston - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dorchester,_Boston The 1987 Brownlow Medal Count - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4g_67cZWL8

A few days ago, Tim and I recorded a podcast in which I tormented Tim by talking about the 1990 American Music Awards and Tim was banned from speaking. Participation of the reaction and possible legal action or intervention by the European Union or something. I've decided, even by my standards, that was a bit too cruel. And we're making a special little mini episode now where I'm going to give Timmy's voice back. I'm going to let him off the leash, talk about these awards. Permission to speak? Permission granted. $185 completely protected protected sent to the girls on the condition i get a little glimpse of the stationery they buy because i really like

stationery too and i want to see what they end up buying yeah tim you are off the leash off the leash wow i feel liberated it's marvelous to be able to speak, particularly about the 1990 American Music Awards. I mean, it's a topic. Since the podcast started, it's a topic that people have been dying to hear about. Now they're getting a second episode of it. Then we've got 91 and 92 and 93. They've had my opinion, but now they're going to get the opinion that really matters. Well, this is true. This is true. And I don't know where to start. There's so much to say.

How was it hearing me describe them? Did I do a good job? It was very fascinating. There were two things going on. One is it was enormously frustrating to have prepared and thought and to know this and then not be able to say anything. That was the torture. On the other hand i quite enjoyed hearing you talk about it as well because it was sort of vicarious you know i was like oh he's appreciating it too that's great i never thought i'd hear someone else give a commentary on this award ceremony from 30 years ago so so i was thinking i was like oh what's up next oh yeah okay and then oh no look and then almost immediately i was frustrated that you were So I was thinking, I was like, oh, what's up next? Oh, yeah, okay. And then, oh, no, look.

And then almost immediately I was frustrated that you were the one that was talking about it. Next episode, Tim's going to talk for two hours about the moon landings. That's right. Yes, that's right. Just guess what's happening at one point or another. That will drive you mad. From the historic Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles,

it's the 17th Annual American Music Award. Why did you record this? That's a good question. I've been thinking about that for the last few days. I just think it was exciting. We'd had a video machine for a few years, but there was something about it i'd never seen anything like this on television before i'd seen sort of the logis

ceremonies and the academy awards i guess but there was something like it was the promise of so many artists together for some reason i was very i was quite desperate to record it and then to watch it even though none of my favorite artists are on there it's not like i captured a unique michael jackson performance who i really loved at the time or bon jovi performance it just seemed an important thing to watch and so that was the occasion behind taping it and after you'd taped it how many times would you guess you watched it? Like, you know, did you watch it a few times the next day? Or like, did it live up to the hype when you finally watched it, your expectations? Did it still excite you?

It wasn't like I watched it because I loved it so much. Like that year, I also taped Spartacus and I watched the film Spartacus over and over and over again. And I loved it. This I didn't love so much it was just like an enjoyable thing because I love music and it was just something to put on I think like it was all you had it was a bit like that yeah yeah like I've got a couple of tapes and this is one of them and I don't have many others it wasn't like you had MTV or cable or Netflix or things where you could or the internet where you could just go and watch all the music you wanted. That's right. That's exactly right. It was a bit like I had one

YouTube, not even one channel, one YouTube clip, and I'm going to play it over and over again. Yeah. Yeah, that's what it was. It was just sort of something to watch that was entertaining without really loving it that much. Although, so the thing that was interesting about it is that I remembered so much about it and I always have. And I put it on the other day and it all came flooding back, including the wording. I could say like, I could give exact same wording with people's acceptance speeches in sync with them, word perfect. And I thought that was a bit strange really, but for some reason it's and I don't know. How many times would you guess you'd watched it? I don't know, maybe 12 or 15 times, maybe 20.

You do watch things over and over when you're young. You're quite happy to. Like Die Hard I had on video and I watched that maybe 30 times. Dead Poet Society I watched like, you know, as many times. You just seem to watch things over and over. It's like you're just giving me all the ammunition for future episodes when things I can ban you from talking about. Brady does Dead Poets Society and Spartacus.

Yeah. Like I remember as a kid getting The Black Stallion, the movie The Black Stallion Returns, actually, the second one out of the video store, and watching it three times in 24 hours before we took it back. That's just crazy. But you do do that when you're a kid, I think. I don't remember those films. Does the Black- like, normally films about animals, the animals die. Does the Black Stallion die in the first film? No, no.

No. So it can return. That's right. It's not back from the dead. No, it's not. No, they just, the original owners of the black stallion come back to take it back to Arabia, I guess, Saudi Arabia. I can't really remember the details.

And then he goes after it, stows away on a plane. The horse on its own stows away on a plane. No, no. The boy. Is it one of those ones where it goes up into the wheel engine bay? He goes up with the wheels in the wheel compartment. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Nice. Not the horse compartment. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. Not the horse. This is the boy. Oh, right. I thought the horse stows away. Like, wow, that horse really wanted to get home. I'm just imagining the wheelbase opening and, like, all these wheels coming down,

but from one wing there's just these legs dangling as you land, running on the runway. Yeah. And someone's there, how many horsepower are those engines? It's like one horse jumps out, runs away. Oh, you're really wasting your chance to talk about the American Musical. We're talking about the Black Stallion Returns. Not even that.

We're making up stupid alternative plots for it. Well, look, so that was my first point. I think it's important to say I was intrigued by the Dick Clark invention. I didn't know that Dick Clark invented it. I know that Dick Clark is a legend of American television, you know, with I think it's Bandstand and some other shows. But I've never thought much of Dick Clark after I heard him featured in some documentary. I can't remember. Maybe it was even Michael Moore's documentary where they featured him and apparently his slogan, like his famous brand slogan, which is music is the soundtrack of our lives.

And I remember thinking, well, that's the most bleeding obvious statement. Like music is the soundtrack of our lives. And he's got that on the side of restaurants and the side of his, you know, brand name and his car and everything. But that's just like saying. What else could be the soundtrack of our lives? It's like words are the book of our life. Like it's-

Yeah, words are the words of our lives. It's like air is the oxygen of our lives. It's like, yeah, it is. Thanks, champ. Earth is the planet of our lives. It is. Like. Earth is the planet of our lives.

It is. So that's the other thing that stood out very strongly to me in my memory was the performance of New Kids on the Block. Now, I was never a fan of New Kids on the Block. Even watching this, I thought, oh, this is a bit, you know, cheesy. And now looking back at it again, it's extremely cheesy. And they do one of those medleys, right? Yeah. Which is, I know you don't like the medley, and I'm not a big fan of the medley either,

which it seems to be a way of sort of indicating none of these songs are strong enough to hold up for three minutes on their own. But, you know, 10 minutes, 10 seconds of each will work. It also just screams of self-promotion. Like, this is my opportunity. I'm going to throw everything down your throat I can. Yeah, yeah.

I'm going to make the most of this moment. I remember seeing Simply Red do a medley at one of those Royal Variety charity performances. And it really just felt like, oh, yeah, I would get bored of any more of this song. Oh, there's a new song. Oh, that's nice. So there's, you know it's cheapens the songs i think but the new kids on the block medley is so you know you you know when you can tell most people in fact almost all of them are lip syncing in these performances right yeah especially millie vanilli especially especially yeah even who did the lip syncing on their own album,

which, yeah, took it to another level. They were lip syncing themselves, lip syncing. From that perspective, perhaps their performance was the more authentic performance of any of them. Yeah. Because at least they were truly representing their performance from the album. But New Kids on the Block haven't learned that when you're lip syncing,

But new kids on the block haven't learned that when you're lip syncing, the temptation is to overplay the act of singing, you know, like almost to a comic level to show I'm moving my mouth and arms and legs. So when you're actually singing naturally, you just stand there and sing but when you're lip syncing you kind of want to do the whole look at me singing kind of thing and they just go over the top and it's it looks quite ridiculous it's and kind of hamming it up too much they are hamming it up too much and that makes that's quite a funny performance really the way they look at each other and the way he falls to his knees and how he does anyway that stuck in my memory for 30 years and um i was i was able to feel a deep sense of satisfaction watching again how um accurately i had remembered the hamming and performance of new kids on the block was there anything you saw in the show that like

that you loved that like really like you know you thought was awesome and like you know it was a turning point for you like a performance that you thought was good or a performer that you were introduced to that you then stuck with or yeah there were two one was i was really thrilled to see the performance of alice cooper he um you know he's a rock artist and you know he did a song there and i thought oh that's pretty cool and i'd known a little bit of Alice Cooper from his big hit Poison but I really enjoyed that and I played that lots of times and I was introduced to Rod Stewart through this video I don't think I'd ever heard of Rod Stewart before and he has Downtown Train and I remember loving that and then going off and finding it and wanting to listen to it. And I've always enjoyed it. It's a really great song. So I think this would be the first moment when I've ever encountered Rod Stewart.

Not that I'm a terribly huge Rod Stewart fan. I was also really intrigued, as you were, to see Kenny Loggins. Like, he, so many Kenny Loggins songs. And yet he doesn't ever seem to have had a visual presence through any of them or in any place. He never seems to have toured or anything like that. But from, I think it's Top Gun, isn't it? And Footloose. I mean, Footloose is a fantastic soundtrack. He should be touring and all over the place.

But he didn't seem to appear in anything except a couple of these really awesome songs. So it was funny to see him presenting an award. He didn't perform. So that was a turning point. That was interesting. I concurred with your views on Richard Marks' hair. And his band. They were like together.

They were skunk-like. Keratin? Is that what hair is made of? A lot of keratin went into that performance. It was a collection of skunks he looked amazing richard marx you'd have to say though there's been a bit of a samson effect in that he since he cut his hair he seems to have lost his powers and he has diminished and i would it would be interesting to see him there's a reality show in watching him grow his hair out

again and then following his musical fortunes. Because I think his musical abilities flow from his hair. Do you think he could do a Samson and like say, look, I know I did the wrong thing. I cut my hair. It's cost me my career. But please, God, give me one more hit. Give me one last burst of strength like he did for Samson. Oh, wow. That would be amazing.

It's like his hair grew back and he just got one more, one more massive hit. But it was this kind of self-sacrifice sort of suicidal one like Samson. Going down in a blaze of glory. Taking himself to- He hasn't had a hit for a long time, has he? I think the last thing I think I remember of his is that Hazard song in 1992. Oh, yeah. I liked that one.

Anyway, a lot of big hair going on there. That was like a goodbye to the 80s with a big flourish of hair. It's funny that you... Two more things as well. One was Guns N' Roses. So it was interesting that you talked about how wasted Slash was. And that's true. In fact, that's quite legendary.

People have written about that. It appears in Slash's biography, which I've read and other rock books and on the internet how wasted they were he and Duff McKagan the bass player were at that award ceremony and the fact that they swore on television that was really big in 1990 and they were drunk yeah yeah so that was that was a you were right to highlight that moment that's actually like a little moment in in rock folklore right yeah so well done man Lyle Lovett yes this was the first time I've ever observed Lyle Lovett in fact there are a whole suite of country artists there that I'd never heard of before yeah like Reba McIntyre and Alabama and

all those sorts of bands Randy Travis who's who's got a chin like you wouldn't believe, hasn't he? But he doesn't seem to move any lips when he's singing. He just sort of stands there with a chiselled-faced Mount Rushmore sort of, you know, chin. He's very stationary. He is. It's a very stationary performance. Yeah, yeah.

His lips don't – it's like he's some sort of ventriloquist should be. He should be the ventriloquist and he's actually making a puppet like country artist or something but he does a very good job but Lyle Lovett I think that's the first time and if I'm I was thinking about this because somebody a few weeks ago mentioned Lyle Lovett to me and said you've got to check out this song by Lyle Lovett and I was like oh I haven't thought of him for years and I wonder if that's the subconscious seed that made me remember the music awards and go looking it wasn't conscious but I wonder if that's what triggered it because there was some so that could be the root of what's going on here the Lyle Lovett factor

it is extraordinary that he was married to Julia Roberts. Like, I know looks aren't everything, but that is, like, such an unlikely pairing. It was after the awards, by the looks of it. It looks like they, like, eloped and got married in 93 after, like, a three-week romance. So it was, like, years after these music awards, but... And they divorced after less than two years. So it sounds like Julia Roberts was like me,

sitting at home watching the music awards, seeing Lyle Lovett, and, well, and wanting to marry him. That wasn't my response, but she's gone. This is after Pretty Woman too. She was pretty huge at Pretty Woman round this time as well. Oh, she was. It was massive. It was a massive story when it happened.

So speaking of seeing people on the awards and wanting to marry them were there any like you know were there any performers that you looked at and thought oh you know got like you know celebrity crushes or anything i don't reckon there were there's no one i really love like peter pador her brother that's right um i i was not a big fan of her i thought she had a good song but you know like not really janet jackson i like janet jackson but i don't really remember her in this it wasn't i became a huge janet jackson fan later on after this with the album uh rhythm nation i seem to recall that yeah i recall that i always i was always intrigued by the judds do you remember seeing the judds which are a mother and daughter naomi and wine owner job country right

act and i always thought like a mother and daughter like a two generations together as a pairing like that's pretty rare. And I thought that was quite interesting. Yeah. Yeah. You don't get that much. Like if you had Roxette, but one of them was like, you know, the mum of the other one. Like that would be quite unusual.

I was likewise disappointed with the introversion of Prince. He tried to act like an enigma and he didn't. The trouble with Prince, they played that great package of him bouncing around all over the place. Fantastic. All these 80s hits. Then he comes out and he didn't do enough to subvert the noise of the crowd and get on with his speech. And so I was thinking about this because he sort of stands there and he's like a little mouse going, thank you, thank you, and, you know, people just screaming.

But he could have said, okay, all right, all right, all right, everyone. Now I just want to say thanks to everyone for, you know, my award. It's pretty meaningless, but, you know, thanks very much for inviting me along. See you next year. Thank you, God. You know, and off we go. But he didn't.

He remained timid, is uh i think it might be even a subtle show business way of making the crowd's praise because sound bigger and more effusive than ever you know like oh he couldn't even get his speech in the crowd was going so wild and it's like that's because he was so tiny you know what i mean like he manages to get through purple rain when he's on tour like he can get through a speech but i think he was sort of you know playing small i'd like to thank good luck i didn't have the music awards i need a big thank you it is something different about these awards, isn't it? Letting the screaming girls up on the top of the balcony in They don't do that at the Oscars

So you've got in the bottom deck You've got all the stars But then you've got the screaming crowd Every time New Kids on the Block get mentioned And it kind of makes for a weird atmosphere You can't quite tell if this is like a fan moment Like a concert Or is this like an industry award ceremony?

It's sort of, you know, spans the term. I know that's like a genre of award ceremonies, but it's probably not my favourite. Yeah. Yeah, I know. And if you were to critique it, their defence would be, well, it's the People's Award, you know. It's what they want and they're in. It's not this highfalutin, red, you know, black tie sort of event. Can I say a couple more things?

Bobby Brown. So Bobby Brown's here and he, that album, which is Don't Be Cruel, is a great album and I still pop that on from time to time and he plays, he does my prerogative and every little step. I know he wasn't a very good husband later on to Whitney Houston at all, but that was a good album. This was actually his sort of prime moment. There was also a band there called Warrant who are awful,

who are just awful. And there's another band called Great White who I know nothing about. Like I literally know nothing about them. And it's not often I'd say that about a band that reaches this stage. But Great White have not penetrated the Tim Knowledge Library at all. Are you a fan of Great White? Oh, yeah. In fact, I have a signed picture of them on my wall.

Wow. That is a surprise. I have not. I reckon when they were going through that list at the start, I probably knew 50% of the performers maybe. There were a lot of performers who didn't seem to, you know, that I've never heard of. Like, yeah, people who were just, and this is funny,

they were huge. Like Anita Baker. I'd never heard of Anita Baker before, but I looked her up. She sounds like she should be someone from the 50s. Like when they introduced her, I thought it was going to be like, you know, Aretha Franklin or someone and some like really old lady was going to walk out. And she kind of was a bit like an old lady, but with a young person's face. Like, it was weird. I don't know what her era is or what.

Like, she seemed like an old, she seemed like she'd come there in a time machine like she looked like she was a like a 50 star but she was like but looked the right age born in 1958 so yeah yeah started a career in the 70s right and she sold like 10 million copies of her albums and we've never heard of her she's never broke in australia which is where it counts yeah so she's 62 now so yeah she would have been 32 then so she's a lot younger than i oh i reckon yeah she does seem like a sort of an aor you know like an adult um contemporary artist rather than a you know she wasn't dancing she didn't have paula abdul's sort of you know cartoon cat bouncing around next to her anything like that i. I also feel like in 1990, obviously, God was a lot more involved in the music process because he was being thanked a lot more than he is these days. He got a lot more credit back then, didn't he?

And I don't think it's credit he necessarily wants to get. Everyone was thanking God. I don't feel like God gets thanked as much these days. No, no. Maybe he's just less involved in music now. I think he's semi-retired from the music industry. He was very influential back then. Yeah.

But, yeah, he got credit for a few albums that I don't think he had anything to do with. What are your thoughts on Milli Vanilli? Because it felt like this was Milli Vanilli's night. I like their songs a lot. They're actually, it's great pop music. And I remember dancing, you know, at the, like, little disco thing at school that year to them and stuff. I think that they had a good album.

I remember taping Girl, I'm Gonna Miss You off the radio and just listening to it over and over and over again. Like, you know, I'd listen to it 10 times in a row on my little tape player. Yeah, well, I mean, I didn't have a crush on them like you obviously did, but I... Not both of them. I had my favourite.

Both Millie and Vanillie. What were they called? Was it like Robert and Fabian? One of them's had my favourite Both Millie and Vanilli What were they called? Was it like Robert and Fabian? One of them's dead now, you know I know Yeah, Rob and Fab Yeah Right

It's funny though When you hear them talk Present an award or anything like that You suddenly go Oh yeah Like that's obviously You're not obviously going to sing as clearly as you do Because they have very strong accents.

So it suddenly feels very obvious, doesn't it? But of course we wouldn't have known. This award is for the favourite pop rock album. And the three nominees also brought a few friends. Watch this. And I tell you, they wouldn't be the first in history and they won't be the last. But there's an enormous amount of um you know dodgy performances and all that sort of stuff go on but of course a lot of it is legitimate now because of auto tunes the way you can manipulate someone's voice is is if a huge producer came up

to you and i and said look we really like the unmade podcast and we want you guys to be like mega stars but you're not good enough singers and tim's guitar work clearly isn't up to scratch but would you would you be would you be willing to pretend and go on tour like and mal you know would you would you do it would you risk it absolutely let's do it let's we could be the unmade pop stars hein harren Harren and Hein Oh, who's your favourite? Tim or Brady? I like the one that pretends to play guitar

Oh yeah, that's Tim Oh, I like the dancer You think I'd be the dance guy Yeah I'll tell you One thing we should take from Milli Vanilli You think I'd be the dance guy. Yeah. I'll tell you, one thing we should take from Milli Vanilli, they seem to wear berets, and I reckon we'd suit a couple of berets. We should definitely.

Yeah, yeah. Some lovely flat caps. Oh. I've got two flat caps. I haven't got a beret, but I've got two flat caps in my house. I've got a flat cap. We're halfway there. Isn't a beret just a flat cap turned around the other way or what would we be called would we be brilli to nilly

we might need to workshop that a little bit oh hang on a sec here we go the real millie vanillie's official website oh that's the real millie vanillie this is the people who did the singing who came out with another album afterwards as if we somehow wanted to hear them without the cool dudes yeah who cares yeah this is i'm all about rob and fab this is a cool looking 90s website though That's for sure It's got total It seems to be preserved in

We should ask the real Milli Vanilli If they're willing to do it again And be like the singers for us The unmade pop stars What, you reckon we make the music But we not be the image? Is that what you're saying? We ask them to

No, they make our music They make the music And we'll mouth it So they'll our music they make the music and we'll mouth it so they'll do it again like a second time they'll be like oh man who would be the front man of the unmade pop stars oh i think that's i think that's pretty obvious i mean i would probably be me wouldn't it just because i'm the brian wilson with a musical genius doesn't mean that I... The Brian Wilson, are you?

Yeah, yeah. I'm the one slaving at a keyboard and a desk for weeks, putting it all together. I feel like I'm the Brian Wilson. That's true. You are the Brian Wilson. I'm really here. I'm just here for my looks, which is saying a lot, saying it's a podcast. We need someone who sounds like he looks pretty good,

but we don't actually ever want to see him. Oh, dear. All right. actually ever want to see all right back so milly vanilla you you kind of sounds like you've got to approve of them in a way even though even despite their betrayal to music oh look i think that well yes no there it's still a couple of good songs but i um no obviously it's it's artificial but it's it's all rubbish the whole the awards are artificial. They're totally meaningless and so forth. It's just a marketing exercise. It's totally ridiculous. Crazy. Yeah. It's kind of funny in a way that they just faked a pop band, but it's got nothing to do with anything that I value

about music. And there's none of these performances that I actually genuinely love or listen to, except Downtown Train is a good song but it wasn't even written by Rod Stewart Well if it leads to the launch of Brilli to Millie it'll all be worth it. Well maybe Downtown Train should be our first song

what do you reckon? A cover? Yeah? Yeah well. Can you play that one on the guitar? Yeah I could learn it Um Well you didn't learn Money for Nothing so why are you going to learn this Yeah? Yeah. Can you play that one on the guitar? I could learn it. Well, you didn't learn Money for Nothing, so why are you going to learn this one? I reckon I could play this almost as well. I'll have to have a look at it.

It's written by Tom Waits, actually, which is unusual. But, yeah, it's a beautiful song. I love it. All right. We'll give it a bash. We'll see if we can write something first. If you can't write something, we've always got Downtown train to fall back on. Yeah.

Oh, I'd love to write something. I'd love our first single to be something we wrote. I remember you telling me years ago that I was letting the team down. Because you said to me, you said, Tim, I'm pretty good at writing lyrics and words and stuff. And you play guitar. We should be pretty good. Except that you don't play guitar well enough. Like, you're letting the team down.

Like, as if it's as simple as we'd be making amazing music if only I was a great musician, because you're already a great lyricist. It's also probably a bit of a stretch to say I'm a great lyricist. Well, I thought it was at the time. I don't know. I had a job that involved words. Yeah. You're certainly a better lyricist than you were a musician, and that's still that's right it's still the case for me too

any more notes from the music awards well long may they live um i still don't know if they're continuing on or what's going on with them i think they are still a thing they're still going i believe the australian music awards don't happen anymore i don't think we have the arias which is sort of our version of the grammys but even like people leave the after parties with them like they leave their award like the band called the cruel sea once left the after party with their award literally rammed into the wall and they just walked away just left it there rammed into the bar wall. That is partly just to kind of look cool though, isn't it?

Like, you know, there's a bit of like, oh, I don't care about awards. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's funny if you're supposed to care about these sorts of awards or not. It must be kind of weird. Of course they care about them. I mean, even in the worlds I've worked in, you know, when I was a journalist, when I worked at the BBC, even now working in YouTube, there are all these meaningless award ceremonies. And I've been to some of them and I've won some of them.

And I know they're meaningless, but still, you really want to win it. And you still, I still have them sitting here on my mantelpiece. Right. I haven't smashed it into the wall like the Cruel Sea. That would be kind of rock and roll having my Webby or my YouTube gold button. I should smash my YouTube gold button. I don't care. Only if you film it and put it out as a YouTube clip.

Yeah, of course. Yeah. That's content. That's right. That's right. So it's content. I might win an award for it. Janet Jackson does do a pretty good performance in here.

I might win an award for it Janet Jackson does do a pretty good performance in here And she's probably the best performer of the lot I think I don't like what she's wearing though It looks like she's wearing like a power suit or something It looks like she's going to go and try to close a deal afterwards No I like that I like the long boots and the jacket and stuff I think that's pretty cool

She's wearing gloves as well Yeah she's just got a whole bunch of sort of Italian waiters dancing with her, though. That's a little bit strange. If you could meet any person from this award ceremony, like go for a beer with them or, you know, hang out for a few hours and have a meal, who would you choose? That's a good question. My instinctive answer is Janet Jackson, simply because I had that period where I was a really big fan and she would be an interesting person to, or maybe to meet. I don't know. She's sort of that legend. In terms of sitting down and having a long chat or hanging out with Alice Cooper by a mile, Alice Cooper's a

great guy. And I've listened to him, lots of interviews with him, and he's a really fascinating guy about his art and how he overcame alcoholism and how he held his marriage together. And he's a really great dude. So he's the most, yeah, he's the loveliest guy there. I've got some bad news for you, man. I read an interview with Janet Jackson the other day, and they asked her if you could have dinner with any host of the Unmade podcast, who would it be? And she chose me.

Ah! I like the lyrics guy. Oh, well, that's a shame. She did say she wanted to sample your guitar riff though. Did she? Did she use it? Can I ask, if you were to meet with one of the new kids on the block, which one would you meet?

Firstly, can you name them all? Yeah, that's a good one. All right, I'm going to try and name them all. Jordan and John, they were the brothers. They're the Knights. It was Knight, Jordan and John Knight. Danny Wood, Donnie Warburg. Yep.

Joe McIntyre. Yeah, well done. I did it. I named them. Very well very well that is pathetic only a true fan would name them my my sister used to get like the actual New Kids on the Block like fan magazine I had posters of them and would listen like you know I was pretty au fait with uh New Kids on the Block after we talked the other night I to admit, I looked them up on YouTube and they're bouncing around dancing. Like they're touring again.

But they're like older than us, right? So it's- Oh, thanks, man. You say that like it's a wonder they can walk. They're older than us. Look at us. Well, we're no longer touring. No.

I think maybe we're due for a comeback tour, though. Do you reckon? A reunion. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Which new kid? What's the singular of new kids on the block?

Which new kid on the block would you want to meet? Which one would I want to meet? I know who you're going to say. Oh, well, I don't even know who I want to say. Okay. I don't want to meet Danny. It'd be Donnie for you, surely. You reckon Donnie Wahlberg?

Yeah. Yeah. Because at least he's brothers with Mark Wahlberg. Marky Mark. Marky Mark had a great song, that good vibration song. That was a good song. John, I think, went into real estate, which suits him more than being in a boy band, that's for sure.

Maybe that's why he wasn't there for that first award, when they say, oh, we don't know where John is. Maybe he was closing a deal. He was doing a viewing. John took a little more time getting ready for the, I guess, performance. So he'll be here here he's still in the group no rumors at the back on his mobile it's got two bedrooms one bathroom oh dear they were the first of a whole stream of boy bands weren't they yeah yeah so did you go on to watch more

american music awards like did it become an annual thing for you? Or, like, what's your awards ceremony viewing regime like these days even? I never saw another American Music Awards that I can remember. I have watched the Grammys from time to time, but not for 10 years at least. I think because they don't even show them in Australia. It's a bit like if it's on and it's, you know, late at night, you might like watch a bit of it. But I did also, the next music awards that I taped,

I videoed was the 1992 Australian Music Awards. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome live on stage at Dreamworld, Australia's own Girlfriend. welcome live on stage at Dreamworld Australia's own Girlfriend. And that's probably for another episode. Thanks, man. In case there was any chance people were going to listen to us again, you've completely ruined it now.

But that's for the next episode. It makes perfect sense that having dealt with 1990 American music awards, we'd suddenly jumped to 1992 in Australia. Like it's the next in the sequence. That's what I love about the Unmade podcast. It's so unpredictable. You never know what music awards they're going to discuss next. But Bon Jovi guested on them and John Bon Jovi guest hosted it. But I won't give too much away there.

But I did tape that one and watch that many times in 1992. I don't watch award shows anymore. I guess I put the Oscars on and watch the latter part of the Oscars. But because you often see it during the day, it loses its fizz and i just go to sleep i watched the brownlow medal which is the australian footballer's best and fairest player west coast eagles versus the sydney swans sydney swans w kappa one vote west coast e Eagles are Glendening two votes Sydney Swans G Williams three votes this is a this is a vote counting night where they count the votes to decide who the best Australian rules footballer of the year is and it's

famously very tedious because they go through every game and say who got how many votes Richmond versus Footscray. Richmond, Jay Manton, one vote. Footscray, P. Foster, two votes. Footscray, A. McGuinness, three votes. So McGuinness starting to move now. Collingwood versus Fitzroy. That's right, yeah. But that's the only thing I watch that's got awards attached to it, I think.

Have you watched an award show? Do you watch the Oscars every year? No, I stopped watching the Oscars years ago. Also, since that recent Oscar ceremony where they literally read out the wrong winner of Best Picture and the wrong people got up on stage, it's almost like, what's the point of even watching anymore? They've peaked in terms of like the most amazing thing that could ever happen at the oscars because if 20 years ago you said think of besides something

ridiculous like you know the the auditorium collapsing or something yeah if you said what is the most ridiculous amazing thing that could possibly happen at the oscars that would never happen you would say uh giving the award to the wrong person and i said no think be more amazing i'd be like oh okay giving best picture to the wrong film you know the the climax of the night can you imagine like you couldn't you couldn't make that up you couldn't make up circumstances in which that happened you know because they make such a big deal of how they've got these auditors and accountants that do it and they even promote them and there's such a big deal about the security and the locked briefcases and the carefulness yeah yeah yeah like if there's just one thing they're not going to do wrong it's give the envelope to the person to read out what the best picture is it's the most important most replayed moment that will happen of the night.

It's like, it's just inconceivable you would get that wrong. And they got it wrong. And they got it wrong. Yeah. And now it feels like, oh, what's the point of even watching the Oscars now? Everything's a disappointment. Like, you know, the most amazing thing that will ever happen at the Oscars has happened. And it also did kind of sully it.

Not only was it amazing, it did kind of like, it made a joke of, it made, it exposed it for the joke that it is. Yeah, and so I wondered about this. Like this sort of thing seems to have been – it used to feel more important, but is that because we were young or because society is changing and it's becoming more egalitarian and institutions are becoming less powerful? And also the entertainment industry has fragmented, you know. Movies aren't the be-all and end-all.

These days movie stars are, you know, starting YouTube channels and trying to get on Netflix shows. It's like, you know, Hollywood movies are not the pinnacle they once were. Yeah, yeah. As the world of entertainment has just, yeah, fragmented. The great unwinding of institutions in globalization which is the name of miller vanillie's second album the great no brilli to millie really it'll be brilli to millie brilli to millie is it it's the worst name in the world since scritty political. Do you like Unmade Popstars better? Unmade Popstars is a good name.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Best left unmade, I think. So. All right. Any more notes, any more? I think I've got, I mean, apart from actually going through it in real time with sort of a director's, you know, voiceover, which would be tempting. Tempting for people to watch, I mean, me doing.

I don't think I've got much more to say i mean i'm totally up for that as for a future project watching it and commentating it in real time in real time yeah the the fashion is fantastic that's one thing and i'll tell you the the new kids on the block have got have have loud and large jackets there's no two ways about it they have large, loud jackets. I also like the way in their speeches Newcastle and the Block talk about themselves like they were like, you know, street kids that, you know, grew up starving in a cardboard box just desperate to make music and now it's like they've finally made it.

Like they really portray themselves as like real battlers, don't they? Like I'm sure all their parents are millionaires and they were like... Oh, there's Michael Bolton. Oh, I'd forgotten that. Oh, I got a glimpse of Michael Bolton. Ladies and gentlemen, recording star Jodie Watley and singer-songwriter Michael Bolton. Here to present two new artists.

Michael Bolton was there, yeah. Well, there you go. Champion, legend. Still with his long hair, hasn't he? Indeed, the Samson effect hadn't come into effect for him either At that stage He was at full power He was

Full power Unbelievable, yeah Yeah, no, that's true The new kids on the block, you know From our days back in Boston And, you know, when they say Not bad for a couple of kids from, you know A few kids from Dorchester

Oh, man Not bad for a couple of kids from, you know, a few kids from Dorchester Not bad for five boys from Dorchester, huh? And it's like, Dorchester sounds really quite nice actually Like, what are you talking about? Dorchester does sound nice It sounds like a brand of like a teapot Fucking Dorchester when we were serving tea And now here we are at the American Music Awards Pass me Fucking Dorchester, when we were serving tea, and now here we are at the American Music Awards. Pass me the Dorchester, please, Charles.

It's not like, it doesn't sound like there's a lot of gangs in Dorchester. It sounds like the official pottery supplier to the Queen. We finally got out of that pottery business. But don't they say some stupid line as well, like, you know, music is the international language, but it's spoken with a Boston accent? I don't remember that line. Before we go, we just want to say one thing. We want to give respect to the people who also were nominated for this,

Bobby Brown and other groups of the 90s, like Paula Abdul and Milli Vanilli, for helping to show that music truly is the international language and the universal language, even if it is spoken with a Boston accent. I think they get a little bit lost with their own self-importance. But, you know, award ceremonies can do that. Yeah, well, the American Music Awards could do that. If you could live your life again

and be a member of New Kids on the Block, would you do it no are you sure no i'm not sure because that would have been a pretty fun few years girls would have paid them a lot more attention than they paid us in high school. I do agree. We may have had more girlfriends or a better girlfriend or a girlfriend. We may have actually had a girlfriend. That's the entire criteria I use to judge any life decision.

Would it have got me a girlfriend? I wouldn't have liked to have compromised the music I did make by selling out. to judge any life decision. Would it have got me a girlfriend? I wouldn't have liked to have compromised the music I did make by selling out. Yeah. Would you rather be Bob Dylan or New Kids on the Block? Well, I don't know. New Kids on the Block had some pretty good-looking girlfriends. If you could be a massive solo artist or a band,

surely being in a band would be, if you could get on well and be great mates, then would be surely far better, wouldn't it? You'd blow your head apart being a solo artist. You are just terrible. I can see you're going to go solo at some stage. I am. Yeah. Well, I kind of experimented with it in the last episode. You did.

You did. You did 20 minutes solo. I got pushed right to the back. Yeah. It's like you're not allowed to talk. It's like you're not allowed to play this bit. I'm going to do the guitar solo. I was literally docking your pay for talking.

That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. Oh, look. See, Richard Marks. That's right. Oh, look. See, Richard Marks. See, there's a lot of hair on both sides of his head at the back. That's the thing. It's really quite a veranda that's coming back there.

It's very impressive. Epic. You had a fair mullet back in the day. You had a mullet, but you didn't have, like, a mane like Richard Marks has. No, no. That wasn't allowed at school. And I liked having a little bit of that. Was it not allowed?

No. If you turned up with Richard Marks' hair on, like, the first day of school, would they have, like, sent you home? Just suddenly one weekend. I just, after one Monday, I come in with that. I don't mean actual Richard Marks' hair, like you scalped him or something. I mean just, like, hair like his. Tim, what's that you're holding?

Oh, that's Richard Marks' hair. Where'd you get that? Oh, he threw it out in the crowd after a concert. I just imagine taking his hair and going away and he says, wherever you go, whatever you do, I'll be right here waiting for you. Oh, dear. All right. No, we weren't allowed to have it past our collar.

Not that we sort of had it past our collar, but you weren't allowed to. Well, we're not. Right. We are now. You can now if you like. I tell you what, my hair is getting pretty long at the moment. I've got a real mane. You should grow it.

You should go mullet. That'd be great. I don't know about that that would yeah that would that would be cool man no not doing it do you feel do you feel placated have have i made amends for the cruelty of the previous episode you did there was yes yes yes yes i feel i feel like you know like i'm i was all pent up and now I feel quite relaxed. There we go. No, no, no.

One more thing. Clint Black. Do you remember Clint Black? Yeah. I always thought. No, I remember the name in the credits. Yeah, yeah. Well, Clint Black sort of makes his debut here.

Even though he's sort of a young guy, he looks like an older guy. His debut. His debut. Sorry, I was putting on the American accent. I was putting on Clint Black's accent. He somehow manages to look a lot like, at this stage, Luke Perry. He kind of has a Luke Perry look to him. Even when he's young, because he wins, like,

best debut single or something like that, but he already looks like an old man. But his name is Clint Black and he's got a black hat on and a black suit and, you know, they've got the whole image worked out. But I always thought later on, oh, he looks like Luke Perry. I'm glad we sneaked that fact in at the end. It was totally worth you, like, you know, saying, wait, wait, wait. I've got something important to tell you.

Clint Black wears a black hat. Man, if I'd got home laying in bed and I'd be like, damn it, I forgot to mention the guy wearing a black hat. We got it in. We got it in, people. All right. Thank you for this opportunity. I appreciate it. Even if you're going to just wipe this and it never sees We got it in, people. All right. Thank you for this opportunity. I appreciate it.

Even if you're going to just wipe this and it never sees the light of day, I got to say it. And for that, I feel very pleased. All right. Did you remember to press record? This is the last round, round 22. Carlton versus North Melbourne. Carlton S. Kernighan, one vote.

North Melbourne P. Cracker, two votes. North Melbourne J. Cracker, three votes. Footscray versus Melbourne.