The Unmade Podcast - Special: One-Sided Podcast

Episode Date: April 23, 2020

Listeners 'fill it the blanks' for an episode of the Unmade Podcast - this is the realisation of an idea discussed in episode 41. Support us on Patreon and help us make more episodes - https://www.patreon.com/unmadeFM Join the discussion of this episode on our subreddit - https://redd.it/g6lgpz USEFUL LINKS Episode 41 - the birth of the idea - https://www.unmade.fm/episodes/episode41 Click here for uncut submissions including some good ones not included in the episode - https://youtu.be/mw2U4kaw85s The Moon - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moon Our contributors (both here and in the uncut omnibus) were, in no particular order, Kathleen, Tony, Harry, Max, Oisin, Melody, Gregory, Daniel, Bill, Rick, Bentley, Maurice, Michael, Dylan, Ant, Allegra, and Cedric. If you'd like us to do this again some time, let us know. Tim's section kicks in around 52:00

Hi everyone, it's Brady here, and you are in for a bit of a different episode today. Now usually when we make the Unmade Podcast, I'm here in England, recording the audio into my computer, Tim's in Australia recording audio into his computer, we merge the two together and you get the finished product. But of course in a recent episode we had an idea called the One-Sided Podcast, in which we released just one of the audio tracks. That track is released to you, the civilians, and you have to kind of like fill in the blanks, make a podcast, pretend you're the

co-host and respond to what you're hearing. So Tim and I have released my half of a conversation we had a week or two ago. A bunch of you downloaded it and you've sent in some submissions. That's what you're about to hear. I've kind of mashed them together into a big epic super cut. But if you want to hear some more of what came in and some unadulterated submissions, I'm going to talk about that a bit more at the end of the episode. Also at the end of the episode, as a very special treat, you're going to get like the solutions. You're going to hear the actual recording of the conversation between me and Tim with Tim included. So after hearing all the guesses and speculation and improvised craziness, you can hear the actual conversation that took

place. That's something to look forward to. Anyway, are you ready? Here we go. Here we go. This is the one and only take of the Unmade One-Sided Podcast. And the reason why it's one take is because I want to be surprised by everything that happens. And I want the reaction to be natural. So let's go. I'll do a quick count just for the sake of it. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. All right, I'll do a quick count just for the sake of it. All right.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Two more. Nine, ten. Oh, Brady. Wow. I'm really impressed. That's a new record. Let me just start by saying, Brady, that I am so happy to be here, mate.

It is such an honor. Thank you so much. I'm looking forward to discussing. All right... I'll do a quick count just for the sake of it. Yeah, a broad range of topics. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Right, let me come in. Five, six, seven, eight. Let's make sure our equipment is all synced up. Can we do a quick abacus check? I'll do a quick count just for the sake of it.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Hang on, I might be missing a few beads. few beads. So I've chosen a talking discussion point and I've chosen something close to my heart. So you can probably guess what it is. Space? Well, that is close to my heart, but no, not that. Mountains? No. Very funny, very funny. I'll give you a clue. Okay.

It's something that's in the sky. Stars? A bit more specific than that. The sun? No, it's an object. An object. International Space Station? Yes!

Really? I'm lost. And I've chosen something close to my heart, so you can probably guess what it is. Your lungs, maybe? Well, that is close to my heart, but no, not that. Then maybe it's your left shoulder. No. Liver, stomach? No, no.

I don't know. Then I've run out of things that are close to your heart. Very funny, Very funny. Very funny. I'll give you a clue. It's something that's in the sky. Diamonds. Well, a bit more specific than that.

Then it would be Lucy with one diamond. And I've chosen something close to my heart. So you can probably guess what it is. is it that new tattoo on your chest uh well that is close to my heart but no are you sure i mean the only passion i know that you have is your love for tattoos no no well um as a kid you like cheese very funny very funny i'll give you a clue it's something that's in the sky uh is it outer space well a bit more specific than that well you're always on about the apollo missions and how great they were and how astronauts are the best it's an object um the sun mars moon Mars? Moon? Yes! At last! It's not the atmosphere.

No, it's an object. An object in the sky. Is it the ISS? By chance. Yes! At last! I'm struggling here. I'm floundering a little bit. Very funny. Very funny. I'll give you a clue. Yeah? It's something that's in the sky.

Oh, the moon. A bit more specific than that. Maybe a particular crater on the moon, a particular mountain. You can probably guess what it is. Lollipops. Well, that is close to my heart, but no, not that. Tricycles. No.

With ribbons. No, no. Children not that. Tricycles. No. With ribbons. No, no. Children on airplanes. Crying. Very funny, very funny. I'll give you a clue. It's something that's in the sky. Clouds.

Well, a bit more specific than that. The ozone layer. No, it's an object. I mean, they call it the moon, but no, it can't be. Yes, at last. And I've chosen something close to my heart, so you can probably guess what it is. Your ribs. Well, that is close to my heart, but no, not that.

The city of Adelaide. No. Audrey? No, no. The City of Adelaide. No. Audrey? No, no. Your Hatred of New Zealanders. Very funny, very funny. You can probably guess what it is. Numbers, chemistry, pericardium.

Well, that is close to my heart, but no, not that. Dogs, holidays, things, stuff, Bristol Bridge. No. Maps? No, no. Give me a little something. Lloyd Webber musicals. Very funny. Very funny. I'll give you a clue. It's something that's in the sky. Birds, bats, planes, air. Well, a bit more specific than that. Sun, moon. You can probably guess what it is. Oh, KFC. Well, that is close to my heart, but no, not that. Let me think. Hover? No. Ting? No, no. Is it audible? You talk about these things all the time. Very funny. Very funny. I'll give you a clue. Okay. It's something that's in the sky.

Weather. Well, a bit more specific than that. Is it the rain that falls in funeral scenes at movies? That's like the drumbeat of your own grief falling down from the heavens. No, it's an object. Oh, Mary Poppins umbrella. Yes, at last. Wow. I mean, I know space was a big interest. It is one of my great passions. And I always kind of wonder what you know about it. What do you know about the moon? The moon? Oh, I thought we were talking about the space. So quite a bit then. I mean, I know it was used to help develop our early calendar system. Exactly. Yeah. I don't think that help develop our early calendar system. Exactly. Yeah, I don't think that's one of your big passions.

Yeah? Well, I was going to say people needed to keep track of when to harvest things, so they didn't have any real way to time. No, that's incorrect, actually. Oh, my bad. Yeah. Would you like to explain more on the subject then? I'm definitely not a personal speaker. That is correct.

That is correct because it spins on its own axis in the same amount of period it takes to go around the Earth. It always faces. It's called, that's a tidal lock, always pointing that same face. So we never see the other side of the moon the far side of the moon that is true i honestly wonder how different it is yeah you know but i guess you'd have to talk to the three astronauts who saw it but would you ever go to the far side of the moon brady it is the moon has a very low uh albedo it's about the same as sort of bitumen on the road. It's a very dark object. What do you know about the moon?

I know that it's made of cheese. So, quite a bit then. Yeah, quite a bit. I also know it's very heavy, right? Exactly. Yeah. And it's also far away. Yeah, very, very far away. And I also know that it's round. No, that's incorrect, actually. I should have known because when you were a kid, you used to think the moon was made out of cheese.

So, it was one of your great passions too. It is one of my great passions. And I always kind of wonder what you know about it. What do you know about the moon? Well, now that we're grown up, I know it's not made out of cheese. So quite a bit then. Yeah. Well, I mean, it is kind of confusing with all the holes and stuff. It looks like some Swiss cheese, right? You look at it and it just makes a fellow wonder.

To be serious though i know it's a rock that's orbiting the earth um and it takes about one day for it to orbit the earth completely no that's incorrect actually oh yeah you're right it's it's not how it orbits the earth it's yeah it's um it's how the spin how the earth spins around and it catches the moon once once per day i know that you only ever see one side of the moon, is that right? That is correct. That is correct, because it spins on its own axis. I didn't know those details.

That's kind of interesting, but man, you teach me stuff all the time, which is a little bit surprising. What do you know about the moon? The moon? Well, the moon... Say quite a bit, then. Oh, so much uh i know that all of the craters are exactly yeah they're apparently named uh after different people you know different i don't know if they're donors of nasa or whatever famous people some of them are some of them just seem

to be random names to me i don't know who got no that's incorrect actually oh oh really well i then forgive me i'm just mistaken uh so far as i was aware they were named after various people here and there uh but aside from that i know it's not made of cheese but it's also that is correct that is correct Because it spins on its own axis In the same amount of period it takes to go around the Earth It always faces, it's called a tidal lock Yeah, I have heard that as well, the tidal locking They're kind of, like it says, locked together So we only see the one side of it As opposed to the dark side of the moon

Which is pretty, I mean, we know what it looks like What do you know about the moon? We've been speaking about the moon for quite uh pretty i mean we know what it looks like what do you know about the moon we've been speaking about the moon for quite some time before we start recording yeah i mean i remember hearing on a podcast about something about small intestine go there and back certainly yeah yeah and um there's some about roads think. Something about if you stack up all the roads in the world, it'll take you to the moon and back several times. I can't quite remember the numbers. No, that's incorrect, actually.

Ah, okay. I know there is some fact about roads and celestial bodies. Actually, Brady, just a quick point. I know Tim wanted me to slip in his daughter's hidden words. They're albedo and bitumen. It is. The moon has a very low albedo. It's about the same as sort of bitumen on the road.

It's a very dark object. I always kind of wonder what you know about it. What do you know about the moon? It's made of pecorino romano cheese. So quite a bit then. I took some glasses myself. And it may have been formed by impact with another celestial object. Exactly.

Long ago in a galaxy right here. Hmm. Jupiter's orbit kicked out all these other objects. And this one of them hit our forming planet. No, that's incorrect, actually. Who knows? Some sort of a thing with Mars. Yeah.

And so it starts spinning, and there you have it. And it's locked in orbit, spinning at the same rate as it revolves around the Earth. That is correct. That is correct, because it spins on its own axis. They're trying to convince us that there's this globe thing going on which we all know is actually just you know government secret product i mean the moon landing of all things no that's incorrect actually wait you don't agree i thought we were on the same page here brady um yeah okay i think there's just a misunderstanding here because you know the flat the whole earth being

flat and everything obviously we know that to be true what do you know about the moon uh it's it's in the sky so quite a bit then yeah right the the average person knows nothing about the moon so exactly yeah but i recently saw the apollo 11 movie yeah, you know, first person to walk on the moon was Neil Armstrong. Second person was Buzz... Buzz Wilson? No, that's incorrect, actually. Oh, gosh. Oh, it was Buzz Aldrin. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, it was Buzz Aldrin. All right. Yeah. And now under the moon, you can never see the dark side of the moon. That is correct. That is correct. That is correct because it spins on its own axis. Well, I appreciate you sounding kind of interested,

but again, Brady, are you going to pretend that the moon fits in your pocket? This is dumb. No, that's incorrect, actually. Oh, it's incorrect that it's dumb. Is that what you're saying? So this is smart? Yeah. Okay.

Right. You're an intelligent man. I've followed your career for a fair bit. So why now are you trying to take this flight of fancy and think whimsy is your thing? That is correct. That is correct. Because it spins on its own axis. What?

In the same amount of period it takes to go around the earth. Are you even listening? It always faces. It's called, that's a tidal lock, always pointing that same face. Right. So we never see the other side of the moon, the far side of the moon. So what you're saying is, regardless of what I say, you're just going to soldier on with this utter nonsense. Yeah.

Right. Well, at least you're big enough to accept it. Oh, we were talking about the moon? So quite a bit then. Oh, yeah. So much. I'm a real moon expert. I've been watching that show on Apple. Exactly. It's got the moon in it. Yeah, I should have guessed that one with you. You never shut up about Mary Poppins' umbrella.

Yeah, I should have guessed that one with you. You never shut up about Mary Poppins' umbrella. It is one of my great passions. And I always kind of wonder what you know about it. Well, obviously, you're the expert. But from a layman's perspective, I know the handle looks like a bird. And I know that she can use it to fly. There's always that scene where she's flying up into the sky, one of those iconic scenes of flight in cinema, right up there with E.T. riding a bicycle in front of the moon. What do you know about the moon? I know it's that thing behind the bicycle in E.T.

So quite a bit then. Clearly, clearly. I mean, usually I wouldn't have much to say about the moon, but if I don't say something about it, you're going to keep talking about that umbrella. Exactly. So I better think of something to say. What's your favorite thing in space?

Right now, I'd have to say the near-Earth asteroid 2015 DP-155, but that's because I got to do a research project on it over the summer. It was at the Arecibo Observatory in Puerto Rico. My project was to make a 3D shape model of an asteroid based off of radar data from the observatory. I thought you might find that interesting. No. So I would have thought, because I know you recently watched the Apollo 11 documentary, I thought you might be sort of full of facts and little nuggets. Like what did you take away from that documentary? What was your main, what was your lasting impression of it? Or what was something you didn't know before?

Well, to be honest, I haven't seen the Apollo 11 documentary, but it can go on my list of things to watch. I have seen Apollo 13. I know that's a completely different story, but yeah. I would say, though, even just watching it, the amount of courage and bravery it takes to get in that ship and to launch up to the moon. It's astounding. It, you know. Yeah. Not knowing that you're going to be able to survive and as a risk averse person

i don't think yeah i could handle that honestly you know especially if you have a family and kids which i know i don't i know you've got a wife brady so i'm sure it would be more challenging for you to go to the moon would you ever go to the moon brady yeah did you watch it with your youngsters oh what did they think of it well you missed the part of the conversation where i said i didn't have any children but i'm sure they would be fascinated if i did have any because who doesn't want to go up into space especially when you're little. You see all these guys in these cool suits exploring all these neat places, and...

Or you were wrong. Oh. I, well, I guess I could not be into space. Yeah? Yeah, I guess it's possible. I... Oh, I love that. I love that.

Can you remember an example? Of a child that was never into space? No, I can't. They always, you know, want to explore things. Me tranquillitatis, I think. What did you take away from that documentary? What was your main, what was your lasting impression of it? Or what was something you didn't know before?

Of the Apollo 11 documentary that I watched? Well, my goodness. Tell me what I didn't learn because that'd be a shorter list. Goodness gracious, I learned so much. Goodness gracious, I learned so much. The mission was a resounding leap as far as space exploration is concerned. And my goodness gracious, did it ever do leaps and bounds for humanity? Oh, man.

Can't think of much more that did more than that. It was the 11th Apollo mission. I mean, that goes without saying, but i reinforced that knowledge through the documentary yeah yeah i learned so much i'm literally speechless because all of them all of the thoughts are trying to fight for what i want to explain that i learned yeah did you watch it with your youngsters what did they think of it my youngsters oh man the youngsters the youngsters that um so many stories to tell What did they think of it? My youngsters. Oh, man. The youngsters. The youngsters that... So many stories to tell, let alone go deep into regarding just this documentary.

Because they love all the space footage. I mean, they don't care what the information being conveyed is. They just like seeing... Or you were wrong. Or I was wrong truth be told brady i didn't actually get a chance to watch a documentary i was going to tell you this um before the show obviously you were um talking quite enthusiastically about the moon and your moon facts which is fine uh yeah that's that's fine but a documentary i watched not

recently but we actually um covered it in a level politics was i believe it's called 13th and i won't talk about it's too much it's focused sort of war on drugs racism in america obviously quite serious quite heavy for the podcast but i will absolutely recommend it's such a powerful um documentary and you know the the topics it's covering it is particularly enlightening and um it's very powerful definitely worth a watch and definitely and beyond that really it's talking of documentaries um all the only other thing i've got to say was um i remember on netflix is a couple of sort of nature related documentaries uh attenborough and i think blue planet the planet earth something like

names like that um they're all definitely worth a watch i've watched them with friends just having them on and they're really good yeah did you watch it with your youngsters oh what did they think of it 13th sorry crikey god no good god no but uh no brady and youngsters no brady i i'm 20 i live with my mom youngsters is not um that's they're not something I have, which, you know, all in good time. But no, I don't have kids currently, at least not to my knowledge. Or you were wrong. So an idea for a podcast I came up with, actually, just to get us back on track, I was talking with a friend.

It's called Playing Favourites. Oh, I love that. I love love it can you remember an example or well yeah and so you sort of back and forth the host back and forth and at some point in the conversation you drop in your favorite so an example it could be something as inane as um yeah something everyone at root vegetables something like that may tranquillitatus i think is that is that your favorite root vegetable is that um well is that the name of the genus yeah ah okay right fair enough then great uh well could you could you tell us could you tell us a bit about it maybe spin your wheels a little bit you know just to sort of feed the idea a little well what was something you didn't know before i didn't know before that tom hanks was indeed not on apollo 11 yeah nor was he on apollo 13 despite the movie that lied to me

yeah okay i know yes yes i thought i thought tom hanks was in the film, and I swear Tom Hanks was on Apollo 11. I don't know if you have the same experience or if you knew all along that Tom Hanks, hashtag Tom Hanks, never went to the moon. Is that where you find yourself? Are you in that crowd? Team no Tom Hanks? Yeah.

Did you watch it with your youngsters? Yes. What did they think of it? Well, my daughter said, when I expressed my surprise that Tom Hanks wasn't in the film, my daughter said, well, of course he wasn't in the film. Why should he be in the film? Do you expect every celebrity to be in this film about going to the moon? I said, no.

And she said, yeah, do you expect Taylor Swift to be in this film? No. Or you were wrong. did you watch it with your youngsters yeah what did they think of it well so you see i i thought initially that that apollo 11 had had four astronauts and so i kept i kept telling them the whole time that to wait for the other astronaut to come in, and he never did. And I stand by what my children told me I was wrong about. Or you were wrong. Or I was wrong, yeah. But the wife and I did put together like a bingo game for them to play

so they could notice that and things. Oh, I love that. I love Yeah. For them, for them to play. So they could, they could notice that. Oh, I love that. I love it. Can you remember an example? Um, well, when,

when certain of the, the, like the seas, like the sea of tranquility would, would come on, we, they would mark off a thing. Yeah.

What was, what was your lasting impression of it? Or what was something you didn't know before? Um, I didn't know that people actually believe the moon landing happened that just just seems like baffling that people actually believe that like they tell it like it's a real story firstly it wasn't a documentary that i watched it was the movie yeah and i wanted to watch stop active listening i wanted to watch... Stop active listening. I wanted to watch the Apollo 11 movie,

but accidentally I put in The Terminal, another Tom Hanks movie, but I would argue certainly one of the weakest ones. So after about 10 minutes of that, I took that film out and decided instead to watch something which was similar to Apollo 11 and followed the same thing, but more documentary-esque. So obviously you know exactly what I put in.

Wow. Okay, so you can now active listen when it's on. Yeah. For goodness. Right. I sat down and I watched the movie Deep Impact. Yeah. Exactly.

And that taught me everything I needed to know about the moon. Did you watch it with your youngsters? Uh, no. What did they think of it? They did not see it because I forbid them. It's pretty intense, so no children for that movie. You gonna talk now, Brady? I feel like there's a long pause here, and I don't know how to fill it. Or you were wrong. Well, okay. I'm not wrong that you're

taking a long pause. That's fair. Yeah, okay. Apparently I'm wrong. Oh, I love that. I love it. Can you remember an example? All right. I don't know what else to do with this, man. Honestly, I looked at 15 minutes and thought, you know what, that'll go by pretty quick. But when you're just kind of monologuing... Me tranquillitatis, I think. It's really, really hard to keep the energy up for 15 minutes. Yeah. To keep the energy up for 15 minutes.

Yeah. Yeah, I think I'm just going to bail out at this point. They used to think they were seas. I think it dates back to that because obviously the moon has the dark and the light areas the dark areas that they called seas are the flat areas and the light parts of the moon are mountainous and more sort of jagged and the light get you know comes off it more brightly really i didn't know that yeah it's like historical it's it's historical yeah do you know how far away the moon is? Oh, goodness. Well, yes, that's one way of putting it. I mean, isn't it six times farther than Mars?

There's nothing wrong with not knowing. I think 99.9% of people don't know, and I couldn't tell you exactly. But what would you guess? Like, you know, just like a total guess. Kilometers, yeah, or miles. A total guess? I would say 100 million miles. Why not?

It's not quite that far. Yeah, it's in the hundreds of it. So it's about a bit less than 250,000 miles. At its furthest, because it's obviously has this sort of an elliptical orbit, so sometimes it's closer to Earth than other times. At its furthest, I am reading this now, I don't know this off by heart, at its furthest, it's 405,000 kilometres. At its closest, it's about 360,000. But what is that in miles, Brady, for all the Americans?

Well, yeah, we did it. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, we did it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we did make it to the moon. That is true. I guess 100 million miles. I mean, you're practically an astronaut. Me?

I didn't even know that, you know. Nah. Gosh. Well. Yeah, I'm sure there are cars that have done that much. Distance. I bet the Renault did that many. Well, honestly, one of my old cars probably did get up to that many miles, actually.

But I don't think it would have enough mileage to make the return trip back to Earth. So, it is what it is. Yeah. I know, you know, I know you love the moon. I know you love Apollo. Yeah, we did it. But this is ridiculous to the point of farce, really. And so I'm going to give you one last chance, mate, to move on. I am sick of this. I listened to

Talk, Talk, Talk about the moon. I reckon I reckon I'm at the point, I could probably fly as back there, single-handed, single-blooded. I mean, you're practically an astronaut. Right, forget it. Forget it. Screw this. Screw this. Do you know how far away the moon is? It is two seconds by the speed of light.

Well, yes, that's one way of putting it. Otherwise, I probably have no clue exactly how. There's nothing wrong with not knowing. I think 99.9% of people don't know, and I couldn't tell you exactly. But what would you guess like you know just like a total guess kilometers or miles kilometers yeah or miles okay 1.5 million miles which is two point kilometers million it's not quite that far it's about a bit less than 250,000 miles oh not bad at its closest it's about 360 000 couple day drive by ejected vehicle

well yeah we did it yeah i mean i could imagine that would be what how fun would that be that would be a really cool trip to go on yeah i mean i feel like i go on so many road trips this would be basically the same thing as a two-day road trip but just to the moon i mean you're practically an astronaut if you count all the tour de france cyclists training throughout the year and add up all their miles it's probably something equivalent of that but with a much less attractive view along the way yeah i'm sure there are cars that have done that much i bet the reno did that many uh i could yeah that's very interesting yeah i guess it's not that great of it's a huge

fate but it's not like that huge of a thing i guess once we look at it decades later after going but yeah of course like it's a different mentality overall there's not too many trees to stare out the window do you know how far away the moon is? The moon? It's about 27 miles? Well, yes, that's one way of putting it. Yeah, the correct way, the correct distance. 27 miles, which I believe is about 7 foot. There's nothing wrong with not knowing. I think 99.9% of people don't know, and I couldn't tell you exactly.

But what would you guess? I'd like... You know, just like a total guess. 27 miles. Kilometers, yeah, or miles. Oh, 27 miles. Kilometers. Yeah. Or miles. Oh, 27 miles. Yeah. Yeah.

So like the Moray. Mare Tranquillitatis, I think. Yeah. Yeah. The Mare Tranquillitatis. The Sea of Tranquility. Yeah. Yeah.

You know it. You know it. Yeah. You know, they were talking about the Sea of Tranquility. Yeah. And yeah. Yeah. You know, they were talking about the Sea of Tranquility. Yeah. And, yeah, and I forgot, why do they actually call it a sea? They used to think they were seas. Oh, right, right.

So it's not like they actually have water in them, right? Yeah, it's like historical. It's historical, yeah. Do you know how far away the moon is? Farther than New Zealand.aland yeah well yes that's one way of putting it i don't i don't know brady how would i possibly there's nothing wrong with not knowing i think 99.9 of people don't know and i couldn't tell you exactly but what would you guess like you know just like a total guess in kilometers kilometers yeah or miles

jeez uh i'm not quite two million i'm going with two million kilometers it's not quite that far yeah it's in the hundreds of it so it's about a bit less than 250 000 miles all right at its furthest it's 405 000 kilometers000 kilometers. And at the closest? At its closest, it's about 360,000. I mean, that's not that far. I bet I've gone that far in my lifetime. I've probably walked that far in my lifetime. Yeah.

I mean, you're practically an astronaut. I mean, I haven't quite gone to the moon yet. No. No. But, I mean, it's really not as far as you'd think. Yeah, I'm sure there are cars that have done that much. Yeah, I mean... I bet the Renault did that many. Yeah.

Matt, do you remember that time when we took the Renault to that Australian rules football game, right? Against Grandwich. And then we ended up getting actually, like, broken on the side of the road. Yeah. Yeah. It was a good time. Do you know how far away the moon is?

I mean, the dome can't be more than 100 miles away. Well, yes, that's one way of putting it. Sort of jagged and the light get you know all right comes off it more brightly clearly not listening to me i'm just gonna leave do you have any emotional feeling about the moon like do you look at it and like feel a kind of a wonder and a magic, or is it just a thing that's there like a lamppost? I really like it sometimes. And it goes back to when I was a kid, I almost see a woman in the moon. If you look at all the craters in a certain way, it almost looks like a woman with really long hair kind of sweeping across, but that's just me. Not so much a friend, but just like a companion, like a twin. Oh, so you've seen it too?

Oh, yeah. Like in some ways, yeah. It's a bit like that. Okay. Well, it's, you know, it's sometimes nice when the moon is full and you can see her completely. I do like that. But when it's not you know she knows she'll always come back what's your favorite thing in space my favorite thing in space i really like

stars you know just how they're little specks in the darkness of night yeah and that if you look at them really hard you can yeah you can see shapes yeah exactly and the scales are all wrong but yeah yeah the scales for libra yeah but also like the objects would be very small too they'd be like you know size of pebbles and grains of sand and stuff like that but yeah but what was your favorite i mean yes they look like grains of sand from far away, but I really don't have a particular favorite, honestly. I know. I say it's my favorite thing. But I think the really only big constellations I've been able to recognize would be Orion and the Big Dipper would be my, I guess, favorite constellations because they're the ones I recognize.

You know, I would like to be able to recognize the Pegasus one, but I just don't see it. You know? That's advanced. That's advanced. No, it is, is it? I was going to say. You went to Kosciuszko Street Primary School? Really?

Are you joking or are you serious? I guess I'm joking because i didn't no i know i was just trying to make you feel special for a second you you still have not told me your favorite object in space oh well um i mean if you i had to pick a particular star i mean i i don't have a preference as to which star is the ultimate object of my affection yeah so it's always the food the food i yes i don't know of any food constellations or yeah but i'm sure if there's a will there's a way it you can almost argue anything can be a drawing out of those stars so i've always i've always been fascinated at how

it appears to be the same exact size as the sun but of course they're very different distances from each other like they're working different shifts of work this one's on the night shift this one's day job not so much a friend but just like a like a companion like a like a twin so they're work buddies or something yeah oh yeah like in some ways yeah it's a bit like that well you can see how people uh historically viewed them as having like equal weight you know these are these do look like two competing gods vying for our attention what's your favorite thing in space that's a tough one uh i mean like every astrophysicist and their mom i'm pretty interested in black holes and how the laws of physics change up whenever we're inside we're approaching a singularity yeah yeah so the thing is like you go through if you're not already spaghettified after passing

the event horizon no you're actually still traveling at infinitum yeah exactly and the scales are all wrong but yeah yeah towards this like small point yeah but also like the objects would be very small too they'd be like you know size of pebbles and grains of sand and stuff like that but yeah but what was your favorite yeah so i don't know i imagine myself as being uh matthew mcconaughey and interstellar about to jump through the black hole uh i also used to work the brunch shift at this restaurant, and they had this amazing dessert. I probably should, it's probably not many people actually ate it for brunch, but I did, called the Black Hole. And it was like a peanut butter cup, chocolate chip, vanilla swirl.

That's advanced. That's advanced. And so I would disappear and eat five of these back to back back to back so much that i often wound up calling you into kosciuszko street primary school well i mean it was down the street really are you joking or are you serious but these are all imaginary scenarios i guess no i know i was just trying to make you feel special for a second you you still have not told me your favorite object in space okay um favorite object in space oh yeah i'm excited by the idea of traveling to the objects yeah like once you get there like

mars proxima centauri i don't really look at it too much but i can think about it it's fascinating the idea of going there one day yeah one day but i wonder if i could bring enough food it's always the food shots of espresso and they're all wiry just like waiting to yes calm down and get hungry and eat again uh what else are like nebulae there's some pretty cool nebulae out there like do you look at it and like feel a kind of a wonder and a magic or is it just a thing that's there like a lamppost oh i i think of it i think it's more like a friend i mean i mean it's always there right yeah i mean i sometimes i just i just like to to gaze up at the stars and and gaze longingly at the waning gibbous the waning gibbous and then just just never forget that it's important to us not so

much a friend but just like a like a companion like a like a twin no sort of like you and me oh yeah like in some ways yeah it's a bit like that yeah yeah sometimes i just like to to gaze up at the moon and think oh there's there's brady he's right there. He's always with me. He's a true companion, but very far away. What's your favourite thing in space? Well, that's actually rather interesting because the girls and I went to the Adelaide Space Museum recently and we saw the big thing, the big solar system that was there. It was actually rather cool.

Yeah. But I couldn't quite trust everything that was there it was actually it was actually rather cool yeah but i couldn't quite trust everything that was that was there like like jupiter didn't quite have everything it needed to saturn yeah exactly and the scales are all wrong but yeah yeah yeah i almost wish they'd put the satellites there yeah but also like the objects would be very small too they'd be like you know size of pebbles and grains of sand and stuff like that but yeah but what was your favorite well what would we went there my my daughter really really liked to grab like to try and grab satin's rings which was interesting yeah yeah it wasn't it was it wasn't quite great but we we didn't quite get like the best look at

it uh because we well i forced us to leave early right so we could't quite get like the best look at it uh because we well i forced us to leave early right so we could we could get into the the front of the line at the basement and in the basement of the place uh which was actually the the food line right yeah that's advanced that's advanced yeah yeah we had to get those corn dogs, right? It's kind of like the ones at Kosciuszko's. You went to Kosciuszko Street Primary School? Yes, I went to Kosciuszko. Really?

Are you joking or are you serious? Yeah. Brady, you went to Kosciuszko's with me. No, I know. I was just trying to make you feel special for a second. You still have not told me your favorite object in space. Oh, well, I mean, if I had to pick the most useful object in space, I mean, it'd be the sun, right? Yeah.

But I guess that's rather boring, so I'll choose something else. Hmm. Oh, um, uh, I don't know, Mars? Yeah. I mean, probably because of the Mars bar, right? It's always the food. Of course it's always the food. I love my Mars bars.

Yes. Do you have any emotional feeling about the moon? Like, do you look at it and feel a kind of a wonder and a magic, or is it just a thing that's there like a lamppost? Exactly, it is a lamppost. I think you're coming around to my point of view here. Yeah, it's nothing more than really just a lamppost in think i think you're coming around to my point of view here yeah it's nothing more than really just lampposts in the sky the government is again do you look at it and

like feel a kind of a wonder and a magic or is it just a thing that's there like a lamppost just a thing that's there like it lights up the sky and that's quite pleasant and i know it's part of poetry but i for one do not succumb to that sort of poetry i think poetry generally is a bit rubbish if you need to speak in metaphors you should probably take a step yeah have a think about what it is you want to say and then say those words instead okay not so much a friend but just like a i like a companion like a like a twin well i'm kind of like a friend to you yes oh yeah like in some ways yeah if the australian government tomorrow said look we want to send a mission to mars it's a bit risky

and it's going to take a long time but we think you're the person for it like we want to send you on a group of 10 australians would you do it and like you know you have to leave your family for a few years and all and the risk and all that or would you say no couldn't give a stuff well given the current pandemic crisis that we've got going on it if it was feasible to make it right because you got to be able to make it if it's feasible i think i would do it it's for the greater good yeah it's a new adventure it's something i nor any human has ever done before so i would say why not even if it is with a bunch of australians that i do not know what if they said to you would you be willing to not see your family for a year in exchange for a Mars bar?

I would say no. Would you make that trade-off? That's a pretty big trade-off to make. But again, I'm not particularly fond of Mars bars. So if you said Reese's... Yeah. Well, I'd consider it at least. The Mars bar is a hard no.

Oh. Yeah, I don't know. I guess you might be a big fan of Mars bars since, you know, Mars, space, candy. Oh, so they weren't there. You had to take them back. Were they proper ones or were they fun size uh the ones i got like candy for halloween they weren't regular well you could have eaten one and then said to the kids you know nanny sent you this mars bar to cut in half and

share oh that that sounds rough i don't know if i could get away with that in my family. Me having one and having everybody else split. But I don't honestly know if they're fans of Mars bars either. Yeah. But. I'm glad you find me some. That's not mine. Man. Wow. Man. Wow.

Yeah. Well, in typical fashion, a conversation that started on one topic is quickly veered to unhealthy food. But on that note, I think we should call it a day. And thank you very much for sharing your knowledge of the moon with me oh i do not feel like i shared anything that you did not already know it's a bit risky and it's going to take a long time but we think you're the person for it like we want to send you on a group of 10 australians would you do it and like you know you have to leave your family for a few years and all and the risk and all that or would you say say, no, couldn't give a stuff?

Well, I mean, I'd obviously be wearing it on. Yeah. Yeah, but, I mean, I certainly wouldn't go, oh, I can't give a stuff. I'm just going to turn it down outright. But I would probably end up saying no, right? Because my family, right? I mean, like, what if I don't get back? Yeah.

I want to see my daughters grow up. I mean, I just, I want to see them live. I want to see them live their life. I mean, I might ask them what type of food they have, right? If they've got good dried foods, right? What if they said to you, would you be willing to not see your family for a year in exchange for a mars bar

oh yeah yeah that's that's it right off right off i'd accept i'd accept wholeheartedly but you know my family we uh we we took a trip down to sydney right and and the girls the girls they they wanted to go to a play right yeah yeah and so they went to to a play on the like sydney broadway there and so i went to the mars factory yeah and i i went to the mars factory and i got these like these mars bars and when i got back the the girls wanted some right oh so they weren't there you had to take them back yeah yeah right were they were they proper ones or were they fun size well there were two full size ones right and so i just didn't want to share well you could have eaten one and then said to the kids you know nanny sent you this mars bar to cut in half and share well yeah do you want to

do you want to know what i did is i i just i took the two right and then i left him in the car so so the kids couldn't get to him my wife didn't know about him because she would have wanted some too well eventually my wife comes into the car and she looks down she sees the two mars bars and she's like whose are these that's not mine it's not mine at all right yeah and and well obviously she didn't believe me she took a mars bar yeah yeah but she took a mars bar and so i got mine the kids got well in typical fashion a conversation that started on one topic is quickly veered to uh unhealthy food but uh on that on that note i think we should uh call it a day and thank you very much for sharing your knowledge of the moon with me all right yeah and thank you brady for for teaching me what the moon is what the moon does and like know, you have to leave your family for a few years and all,

and the risk and all that, or would you say, no, couldn't give a stuff? Probably no, considering it'd just be a government program to lock us up somewhere and convince the world we went somewhere, really just knocking us out for the sake. You know, you have to leave your family for a few years and all and the risk and all that or would you say no couldn't give a stuff i mean leaving my family for a few years yeah that sounds pretty cool but i don't know what the australians would contact me i mean true i've got citizenship to your country but i just don't think they would be interested in my you know lack of any knowledge lack of much interest and if i were to go up into space on a mission to the moon with the

australian government or any other government i would just be endlessly quoting event horizon and like you know you have to leave your family for a few years and all and the risk and all that or would you say no couldn't give a stuff? Well, I probably wouldn't say no. That's not really my, you know, accent. But another challenge is Australian nationality. I would have to somehow get an Australian passport to be an Australian astronaut on this Australian spacecraft. Part of an Australian mission onia's quest to mars so that'd

be a tough one to pull off uh politically speaking but you know i'd try for it right why not why not see how much how much goodies i can i can pack in there with me i could i would go to i need a mars bar for aust Australia. What if they said to you, would you be willing to not see your family for a year in exchange for a Mars bar? Well, I mean, obviously. I requested that a long time ago. Do I respond on Twitter publicly?

No, no, I love my family. And actually, that's a tough one. With all the excitement and hubbub around space travel over great distances yeah there are some daily joys to life that i just don't know if it would be worth giving up oh yeah that espresso that coffee shared with yeah but yeah i would i would stock up You get like 50 Reese's pieces. Well, in typical fashion, a conversation that started on one topic is quickly veered to unhealthy food. But on that note, I think we should call it a day. And thank you very much for sharing your knowledge of the moon with me.

Oh, it's been a treat. Thank you. And until next time. We'd like to say a special thank you to everyone who sent in submissions. Their names are going to be listed in the show notes. Also, I'm going to link to a separate place where you can go and hear everything unadulterated, kind of as one big slab, everyone's submissions. And that's also going to include some submissions that didn't make it into this episode. And the reason they didn't make it,

mainly is because some people got really creative and they really went off on a tangent and they included music or they really played around with the editing, which was fine. It's really good fun, but it didn't really fit what you just heard because what you just heard was supposed to sort of all sound a bit similar to each other. The other stuff just wouldn't have worked. So, check out the notes, check out the links if you

want to find out more about all that stuff. But now, at last, Tim returns. Here is the conversation as it happened. I hope you enjoy enjoy it well done for lasting this long all right i'll do a quick count just for the sake of it yeah one two three four five six seven eight nine ten Eight, nine, ten. Ten. So I've chosen a talking discussion point, and I've chosen something close to my heart, so you can probably guess what it is. McDonald's?

Well, that is close to my heart, but no, not that. Soccer? YouTubing? No. Me? No, no. That's all that's in your life, Matt. Very funny, very funny.

I'll give you a clue. It's something that's in the sky. Oh, right. Space. Well, a bit more specific than that. Oh, okay. The American endeavours to explore. No, it's an object. Rockets, planes. Oh, the moon. Yes, at last. Your other love. My rival for your love, the moon.

It is one of my great passions. And I always kind of wonder what you know about it. What do you know about the moon? I only know what you've told me. So quite a bit then. Oh yeah. 30 years of continuous conversation. Exactly. What do I know about the moon? That's a good question. I know that it doesn't orbit. It, as an object, goes around the world, but it doesn't spin in itself. So it does orbit, but it doesn't spin. No, that's incorrect, actually. Oh.

Oh, let me, hang on, hang on, let me clarify. Yeah. It does so, but it does so with the same speed as going around an orbit. In other words, it's always got the same face to the Earth. Is that right? That is correct. That is correct because it spins on its own axis in the same amount of period it takes to go around the Earth. It always faces. It's called a tidal lock, always pointing that same face.

So we never see the other side of the moon the far side of the moon that's right that's and the famous line right at the end of the pink floyd album the dark side of the moon is yeah that um there is no dark side of the moon in fact it's all dark because it's actually dark brown or gray dust is that right it. The moon has a very low albedo. It's about the same as sort of bitumen on the road. It's a very dark object. So I would have thought, because I know you recently watched the Apollo 11 documentary. Yes. I thought you might be sort of full of facts and little nuggets. Like what did you take away from that documentary? What was your main, what was your lasting impression of it? Or what was something you didn't know before? Probably a lot of little things that I didn't know before, little details

along the way. The one thing that I took away from it as an impression was just a reminder of, in some ways, how basic the technology and yet how advanced it was. It's always intriguing to look at technology that's, say, a decade before we were born i mean they landed on the moon what is it about six years before we were born seven years so that's sort of a mysterious time technologically because it feels like the olden days and everything looks older than we that you used to it's not lived technology from our life we can't remember a phone from that era yeah so it feels antiquated. On the other hand, it got humans to the moon and back.

And so it's just unprecedented in human history, the technological advance. So I was left with that strange sense of I can't believe they did this. But also I can't believe they did this with those antiquated looking boxes and buttons and technology. That was the funny sort of feeling that I got from it. Yeah. Did you watch it with your youngsters? Yes, yes.

What did they think of it? They asked lots of clarifying questions on the way through. And so it's been too long. I can't remember what they were. But I remember many times i was able to offer very informed answer and in the back of my mind was brady would have been proud of that answer like or you were wrong i think every now and then my my wife was looking at me like oh wow you know quite a bit about the moon and i think it was i know that entirely because of the fact

that i'm your friend oh i love that i love it can you remember an the moon and i think it was i know that entirely because of the fact that i'm your friend oh i love that i love it can you remember an example or well i think they were they were bemused by the the names of the um areas where the module was going to land so the lunar module so it's the sea of tranquility is that right meh tranquillitatis i think they were bemused as to oh so what was that why you know it's like why why are they going to the seaside you know it's like it's on the moon yeah so you know being able to clarify a few things like that was was good the the answer just to push a bit further on that though i don't know why they call it the sea of tranquility why

why does that sort of name they used to think they were seas oh it dates back to that because because the obviously the moon has the dark and the light areas the dark areas that they called seas are the flat areas and the light parts of the moon are mountainous and more sort of jagged and the light get you know comes off it more brightly so this is going way back like galileo is that what you're saying they oh it's like historical it's it's historical yeah do you know how far away the moon is it's about three days travel in a rocket yeah well yes that's one way putting it uh i don't know the measurement there's nothing wrong with not knowing i I think 99.9% of people don't know,

and I couldn't tell you exactly, but what would you guess? Like, you know, just like a total guess. Kilometers? Kilometers, yeah, or miles. Oh, look, what is it? I mean, it'd be in the, is it a few million miles or a few million kilometers? Is it in the million? It's not quite that far. A few hundred thousand then? Yeah, it's in the hundreds of it. So it's about a bit less than 250,000 miles. Oh, okay. At its furthest, because it's obviously has this sort of an elliptical orbit, so sometimes it's closer to Earth than other times. Yeah. At its furthest, I am reading this now, I don't know this off by heart, at its furthest, it's 405,000 kilometers. Oh, right. Yeah, okay. At its closest, it's about 360,000. Yeah.

It's funny, that actually feels attainable. Well, yeah, we did it. No, I don't mean for NASA. I mean, you know, like, you know, I drive to Melbourne from here. Well, with a bit of extra, that's about 1,000 kilometres. I've done that a bunch of times. I mean, you're practically an astronaut. That's right. Well, it a bit of extra, that's about 1,000 kilometres. I've done that a bunch of times. I mean, you're practically an astronaut. That's right.

It's funny. It's not like it's billions and billions of light years away. It's actually like, oh, yeah, no, we can do that. A lot of people would have travelled that distance in their life, flying around the world, that's for sure. Yeah, I'm sure there are cars that have done that much. Yeah, yeah. I bet the Renault did that many.

Well, that's true, actually. That's right. Yeah, yeah. They spin around. So it is funny that the length of the distance of the capacity of a car is similar to driving to the moon. That's a funny thought. It makes the moon feel a lot closer, actually. Do you have any emotional feeling about the moon?

Like, do you look at it and feel a kind of a wonder and a magic, or is it just a thing that's there like a lamppost? I don't think about it, except if it's looking beautiful, and then I appreciate its beauty. I know that you talk about it as being this sort of companion that we have that's just beautiful and is close by and yeah like a friend of the earth i don't feel it that i know what you mean and i like that idea but i not so much a friend but just like a like a companion like a like a twin it's like a pet

it's like oh yeah like in some ways yeah it's a bit like that i wouldn't have spontaneously thought of that but it is quite remarkable the idea that you could go there and then stand on it and then come back. I was amazed by that again, watching the documentary. What's your favourite thing in space? My favourite thing in space. I reckon when you're young and, you know, you learn about all the planets in primary school and, you know, how they sort of set them out across. Did you do this across the ceiling? Like are the suns at one end and then or in the middle and you know how they sort of set them out across did you do this across the ceiling like oh the sun's at one end and then or in the middle and then yeah and of course it's

it's not it's not in proportion because you know mars is one meter away and pluto's three meters away and you know yeah exactly and the scales are all wrong but yeah oh no it's right otherwise it would be that's right yeah but also like the objects would be very small too they'd be like you know size of pebbles and grains of sand and stuff like that that's right yeah yeah but what was your favorite we had hayley's comet coming um and when hayley's comet came we um actually attached it to the fan and it spun around on the fan and which was pretty cool but also when what one of the classes did is that they attached another wheel in a another part of the room so that it could actually be the um the proper sort of the distance it went around the they attached it so it went sort of around one wheel

all the way across the room around the fan and back across across around the wheel and so it was much more realistic that's advanced that's advanced in fact it was so realistic some telescopes got confused as to which was the real hailey's comet and which one was kosciuszko street primary school you went to kosciuszko street primary school i did yeah really are you joking or are you serious i'm serious how you will never have heard of that before no i know i was just trying to make you feel special you still have not told me your favorite object in space oh right okay okay so the the um i i was laying out that beautiful vista uh in order to point out that i think everyone's favorite planet in primary school is mars partly because it's like it's close by

and it's red and because we love Mars bars. So it sort of feels familiar. It's always the food. And it's where Martians come from. So I kind of feel like everyone's, it's the one planet everyone's heard of, even if they don't know the other planets. Yeah. I think my favourite, when I was a kid, it was like, oh, Mars.

Yeah, that's like if we could go anywhere, we'd go to Mars. So I think when I was a kid, my favourite object in space was either the sun or Mars. If the Australian government tomorrow said, look, we want to send a mission to Mars, it's a bit risky and it's going to take a long time, but we think you're the person for it. Like we want to send you on a group of 10 Australians. Would you do it? do it and like you know you have to leave your family for a few years and all and the risk and all that or would you say no couldn't give a stuff i would say no but not out of fear um but i just i just i'm not interested enough like i couldn't be bothered you know let's like i could stay here and i could you know have you know go go to a cafe and spend time with my family and i could read books and i could see films and all that or

i could get inside this tiny little tube and go off for ages it'll bring me world fame and it will be an incredible discovery and i'll be like, you probably should get someone, like choose Brady. He'll be into this. Like I don't, he'd enjoy it much more than me. What if they said to you, would you be willing to not see your family for a year in exchange for a Mars bar? Well, hang on.

You can't confront me with such, with such tempting questions. You know what's funny? My mum, so the kid's um nanny because everyone's in lockdown and so forth so we just happened to be going past to pick something up um dropping something off at my mum's place out the front and she'd left out a little treat for us to take and give back to the girls and it was two mars bars right and i And I have to tell you, driving across Adelaide with two little Mars bars sitting on the dashboard is not a challenge to be sneezed at. Oh, so they weren't there.

You had to take them back. That's right. That's right. Yeah. Were they proper ones or were they fun size? No, no, no. They were fully fledged, fully realised, proper size Mars bars. they were fully fledged, fully realised, proper sized Mars Bars.

Well, you could have eaten one and then said to the kids, you know, Nanny sent you this Mars Bar to cut in half and share. Well, here's the interesting fact. It's not even that I really love Mars Bars that much. I actually never really think about them. But I, and it's not that I particularly felt like them either. It's just that there's something subconscious about the fact that, well, they're sitting there. And so I found myself kind of instinctively, without even without even thinking of reaching for them every now and then just driving along and i go oh well there's a mars bar and then i went

hang on a sec no no no i'm actually taking them for someone so it's like our brains are wired for mars bars in a particular way it's just intuitively reached out out. There it is. Oh, hang on a sec. I don't feel like that. I don't want that. That's not for me. Well, in typical fashion, a conversation that started on one topic is quickly veered to unhealthy food. Yes. But on that note, I think we should call it a day.

And thank you very much for sharing your knowledge of the moon with me. Oh, man. thank you for asking. If you have any other questions, things I can help you with in regards to the moon, don't hesitate to ask.