The Unmade Podcast - Special: The Inaugural Bean Dish Quiz

Episode Date: April 16, 2020

Brady challenges Tim with a fiendishly hard quiz. Support us on Patreon by clicking here - your parents won't be happy about it - https://www.patreon.com/unmadeFM Join the discussion - and share your answers and score - on our subreddit - https://www.reddit.com/r/Unmade_Podcast/ Fans of Tim's guitar solo can check out this T-Shirt - https://teespring.com/dire-strums-unmade-podcast Or this more technical poster - https://teespring.com/tim-solo-technical

so tim at the moment i can't go anywhere on the internet without having a quiz thrown at me oh yes every instagram i follow every twitter everyone in the world is writing and making a quiz while we're all locked in our homes there seems to be quizzes absolutely everywhere it's a quiz fest is a quiz fest yes it is so in the spirit of the unmade podcast i've decided we should have a quiz show right but do it in our unmade podcast way and do it a bit different and see if we can throw a new spin on it and things like that yeah yeah yeah i have formulated what i'm gonna mark it as the hardest quiz ever the hardest quiz ever hardest it's difficulty it's the super it's advanced quizzing. I would go

so far as to call this quiz fiendish. What? Say that again. Fiendish. Oh, fiendish. Oh, right. I thought you said bean dish. I'm like, that's an English expression I've not heard before. A bean dish. I like that too. Today we're going to do a bean dish quiz. But no. You know when someone's good looking, they say, oh, it's quite a dish. But maybe a bean dish is like, well, they've got lots of beans in their mouth. Oh, he's a bean dish, isn't he? He's a bean dish. He got into Oxford. Oh, did he? Have you noticed the word fiendish is only ever used for like

crossword puzzles and quizzes? Like, and Batman's sort of arch rivals, you know. Fiendish, yeah. Like fiendish is supposed to be bad, but it's never really bad. No, no. You wouldn't call a real murder a fiendish, would you? No. But you would call a crossword fiendish.

Yes, it's bad, but with novelty music going on in the background. So anyway, here comes the hardest quiz ever. I have written a quiz. Right. I'm going to give you the quiz. I'm going to let you take it. Tim has no idea what's coming. He hasn't seen any of the questions or doesn't know anything about it

but I'm hoping all the civilians will play along as well. Maybe like get out a piece of paper or start a document. Write down all your answers. We'll do all the questions. Then we'll go through the well. Maybe like get out a piece of paper or start a document, write down all your answers. We'll do all the questions. Then we'll go through the answers at the end. I want to know what your answers were. I want to know your scores. You can put them on Reddit or send them to us in some other way.

We want to know how you did. But bear in mind, this quiz is fiendish. Okay. Now, hang on a second. So a few parameters, okay? Firstly, are you saying it is fiendish or the name of the quiz is fiendish. Okay, now hang on a second. So a few parameters, okay? Firstly, are you saying it is fiendish or the name of the quiz is fiendish? I don't know. If this was a show coming up after the show that I was watching on television,

would something come up saying, and coming up next, fiendish? Oh, yeah, fiendish. That's a great name. I was going to call it the hardest quiz ever because I thought that would be a good title, but now I'm thinking we should call it the bean dish quiz. The bean dish. Am I going to have time? Like, well, I don't have, I don't, I should have bought a buzzer or something here.

I feel like I'm all lost without a buzzer. There's no time constraint. And I would go so, I imagine some people are going to want to hear the question and press pause and write down their answer before you answer. So I would go so far as to say don't blurt out the answer immediately if you know it. Like give people a little bit of time to think along with you before you lock in your answer. All right. All right. As long as listeners promise not to yell it out before I do.

Like they have to actually play along. Otherwise, I'm going to need a buzzer to get in quick. There is no buzzer. Tim, just deal with it. There's no buzzer. I've got my mouse here. I'm just going to click my mouse whenever I want. I feel lost without it. Question one. The topic for this question is cars. Do you know a lot about cars? No. No? Well, I don't know. I feel like I know enough. This is cars of the mid-1980s. Here's the question. In the mid-1980s, a young Brady Haran designed a fictional sports car with a very futuristic electronic dashboard.

The car was never built, and Brady has never publicly revealed what that car was called. What was its name? Okay. what was its name okay so this is in the model of a kit a night rider ish kind of futuristic car or yeah yeah i was going through that phase where electronic dashboards like kit and like the person who used to drive me to school like blew my mind and i went through this phase basically in a notepad of designing cool dashboards and then at one stage I realized well I can't just design dashboards I have to design a car to go with it so I kind of just drew this car with like front back profiles and where the I didn't know how cars worked but I just read a bit about it and drew an engine and put it all together so it was like a blueprint

for a car in a notebook this futuristic sports car car. And then I gave it a name. So it was almost like I made this big brochure for this car. What was the car called? Well, you're a bit like Leonardo da Vinci, sort of, you know, before the helicopter was possible, you were sort of sketching out what it would, you know, the one you'd have. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

What did I call it? The car I'm picturing in my head is more, is closer to Inspector Gadget's car than it is to anything. What do you imagine like a Brady in the mid-80s would call a futuristic modern sports car? I guess is the question here. You love the word laser. And so I think it would be something like, you know, the laser, you know, 101 or something like that like it's the the laser 101 are we going to go with that as our answer i'll go you also love the name

jason for some reason you said you wish your name had been jason so i'm maybe it's the jason laser but that sounds more like a recliner what's your answer then are we going laser 101 or jason laser i think laser will say that we'll say the laser 101 all right the 101 is wrong but i i think the laser the laser of course there was a car called the ford laser at the time but yeah of course oh let's go for question two okay question two this is to test your logic and iq skills right i want to know what weighs more a ton of feathers or two tons of half-sized feathers okay i'm pausing to allow people at home to pause, the civilians. Yeah. This is one of those questions that comes up in your year seven maths quiz, you know, like to finish off the year kind of fun quiz.

How far can you run into a forest? And, you know, questions that involve someone getting on the bus and then getting off and then four people getting on and then, you know what I mean? Someone else driving. Yeah. I think you're stalling for time here. I want to know your answer. I'm just furiously taking notes here and doing calculations. And then, you know what I mean? Someone else driving. Yeah. I think you're stalling for time here. I want to know your answer. I'm just furiously taking notes here and doing calculations.

Something, it doesn't matter what they are or what size they are. If it's two tons, it's heavier than one ton. So you're going with the two tons of half-sized feathers. Correct. Question three. We're going into the world of entertainment now. Oh, here we go. Much more comfortable in this world In the movie Top Gun

Why are there so few actual guns? Why are there so few actual guns? Now, it depends If you mean weapons Obviously, I don't think you mean that I think you mean the guns Are the young guys And who gets to be the top gun

It's because they're chosen from different parts of the Navy to go and get their chance to be top gun. So they're the best of the best. And that's my final answer. So your answer is because they're the best of the best. That's right. That's right. Okay. Well, and, you know, goose dies.

So there's one less there. So people sometimes die. And's right. Okay. Well, and, you know, goose dies. So there's one less there. So people sometimes die. And people die. Okay. I'm going with your answers because they're the best of the best and people die. That's right. Question four. Now we have a mathematics question. Oh, dear.

If you could live forever, what is the highest number you could count to? If I could live forever, what's the highest number you could count to? If I could live forever, what's the highest number I could count to? As in, if I could spend the rest of my life counting. Forever. Forever. How high could I count? What is the highest number you could count to? I mean, practically, as in, I just get bored and stop counting.

Right. Well, that takes you to 10 most weeks forget to come in at five i'm impressed you've made it 10 minutes into the podcast usually tim just walks away at some point i have to call him back he forgets we were doing it like oh sorry I was texting. If I could live forever, what's the highest number I could count to? Well, then it would be infinity. It would be infinity.

Infinity. In theory, you could count to infinity. That's right. Okay. Question five. What will be the answer to question 27? Oh. You're testing my prophecy skills

Isn't that right? An unexpected category Although surely you should have seen that one coming This is usually in the defence against the dark arts category But The answer The answer to Question 27 Will be Chewbacca.

Chewbacca. Okay. Lock it in. Lock it in. Question six. The topic here is the human body. Okay. If you removed the intestines of an average adult male and unwound them all and stretched them out in a continuous line how long would it be

until they died i remember reading somewhere this is one of the where i obviously thought your question was going is how far they go and it's not quite that oh that that hamburger i ate 10 years ago is finally working its way through though that's right yeah the um how long till they died i don't know i'm trying to think of a film that was semi-realistic where someone's intestines are removed and how long until they said their famous last words, you know, in the scene of the film. But I can't quite, hmm, I feel like there was, where do we see? The last time I saw intestines was in Empire Strikes Back where Han Solo, you know, opens up the tauntaun and puts in a loop

to keep him warm. But we didn't. I mean, that tauntaun was already dead well that's true we didn't we didn't get to see the length and you don't know what's the the balance between the tauntaun and the human gastric system yeah not a topic many people know much about to be honest it's not it's not i i'm gonna say it's if you if you stretch them all out i'm gonna have to say you probably probably live for a couple of hours. I remember in Reservoir Dogs, the comment is that getting shot in the belly

is the most painful place to get shot. But you're not going to die. That's what he says. You're going to hurt real bad. That's right. All right. I'll go by. Well, what is it?

It's a few hours in Reservoir Dogs. I'll say, yeah, a couple of hours. A couple of hours. Question seven. The topic here is capital cities. What are you like with capital cities? Are you normally good at knowing capital cities or places? I'm not bad, but I'm not great.

Yeah. As long as you stay out of sort of Eastern Europe or somewhere like that. Yeah. All right. Here's the question. If there was a fictional country called Bradyland, founded by Brady, what would its capital city be? That's a good question. I have written.

I've decided, you know. So you've got the answer. This is a country in the Unmade Podcast universe, obviously. Yeah. Wow. What would it be called? It would be, what would you like? What would you name a city after?

You'd name it after someone you wanted to honour. So you would maybe call it, name it after the great Tom Hanks or Neil Armstrong. Yeah. Armstrongville doesn't really resonate very well. No. Tomville. Hanksville. Hanksville works.'t really resonate very well. No. Tomville. Hanksville.

Hanksville works. Hanksville? Hanksville. Hanksville. Yes. Okay. Who else? As good as it's going to get.

Yeah. No, that's in lieu of the fact that Neil Armstrong, despite his great successes, doesn't have a name that bodes well for, you know, naming for surveyors to use. Unfortunately, coincides with Lance Armstrong as well, who you wouldn't necessarily name a city after. And Neil's not a great name either, to be honest. Like, it's not like, you know, I know some goody good Nils. Yeah, I know some good Nils. It's not like your dream name, is it?

My mum talks about knowing a family called the Downs, where there was a Neil Down and and a sid down and a bob down but i don't know if that was true or a bit of an apocryphal story yeah do you know what neil armstrong's middle name is that's this isn't one of the questions oh well they're not yes yes i do but i won't say it on air i'll okay we'll keep that a secret. Look that one up yourselves, people. People in that era seemed to be named after presidents. So perhaps he was Neil Theodore Armstrong.

Oh, it's Trump. No. How many children do you think will be named after Donald Trump? You ready for question eight? I am. The topic here is literature. Okay. You should be good at this one.

You know a lot about literature. More than maths. But if this is going to be a fictional book that Brady wrote, then I may struggle. In my first novel. In a game of Scrabble, who would win between William Shakespeare and Charles Dickens? Shakespeare and Dickens. Who would win? That's hard. So they're both masters of the English language.

Dickens is a bit easier to read, less antiquated, better stories. Tim dissing William Shakespeare. Burn, Shakespeare, burn. Would there be words from Shakespeare that were disallowed? Probably not, but they would be more antiquated and perhaps. I'm going to go at a limb and say I just think Dickens. Shakespeare is probably a better wordsmith, but I'm going to go with Dickens. Yeah, I'm going to go with Dickens.

Fair enough. The common man's choice. Question nine. The topic here is the Bible. Okay. Who would win a fight between Samson and the big fish that swallowed Jonah? I'm trying to think about their sequence in the literature. Right.

Does that matter? Why does that matter? Well, I think Samson was dead by the literature. Right. Does that matter? Why does that matter? Well, I think Samson was dead by the time. But just theoretically. Okay. Right. Okay. Let's assume they're alive at the same time.

Okay. Okay. You're just making the question silly now, Tim. Sorry. I don't mean to demean the question. I'm going to say Samson. Samson. Okay.

Fair enough. Question 10. In the sofa shop jingle, how many times is the word sofa said? Oh, that's a great question. Okay. This one, folks, you really need to pause, but you can't cheat. You've got to stop and sing and see if you can get it right. I'm just going to do it.

The sofa shop is the only shop for the sofa you need. The sofa shop is your only stop for the sofa you need. I don't know the second verse, but it would definitely say the sofa shop. So that's three. There's a door to the front. I don't think he says again, but it would definitely say the sofa shop. So that's three. There's a door to the front. I don't think he says again something, something, something, something, but he doesn't say it there. And then it's the something, something, something, curtains two.

Choose your fabric, match your curtains two. The sofa shop. So that's six. Is the only shop for the sofa you need. And then it's don't do a thing until you go to the sofa shop. I think it's eight. I then it's, don't do a thing until you go the sofa. I think it's eight. I think it's eight. Okay.

Question 11. This is a picture question. What famous painting am I currently thinking of? Oh, hang on. Just let me concentrate. All right. Are you swapping in your head or are you thinking of the same picture? I'm thinking of the same one.

Have you got the picture up on your screen in front of you looking at it or is it in your mind's eye? It's in my mind's eye. Okay. In your mind's eye is the Last Supper. Last Supper. Yep. Okay. Question 12.

This is about the animal kingdom. What is the cutest breed of dog? This is about the animal kingdom. What is the cutest breed of dog? Is it the Chihuahua, like Audrey, my dog, that I love more than anything in the world, or a different breed? This is cutest, did you say? Cutest, yep.

Yeah. The contrarian in me wants to suggest something else, but I love Audrey too. Yeah. You going chihuahua? People are aware you've got an Instagram. Audrey has an Instagram account. You should look her up. Yeah.

Yeah. Definitely. Yeah, she's very... So you're going chihuahua? Yes. Question 14. Why was there no question 13? Oh. You know, Why was there no question 13? Oh. You know, I was thinking about the sequence and I thought you said question 8 several times, but I doubt you did.

But you skipped question 13. Is that right? Yes. That's because it is unlucky. I know some hotels don't have a 13th floor, so I'll go with perhaps. Perhaps you're superstitious. I know you're not superstitious, but... Because it's unlucky.

Question 15. This is the topic of celebrity and entertainment. Right. So, celebrity. Which unmade podcast host once had his pants split apart when he was at a playground with friends? I can't believe this happened to you too, man That's Tee Hine

That's right Tee Hine Okay Yes Okay They weren't any pants They were happy pants They were just

I was leaving that out to spare your blushes. It's more embarrassing to know that I wore happy pants than I had pants that split open in front of people. Question 16, Tim. Now we're going to start a whole run of music questions, starting with one where you have to identify a song. I'm going to play you part of a song and I want you to identify what tune it is. Can I just say for a moment, my whole life I've dreamed of being in this position in a quiz show.

I can't believe it. Your dream's about to come true. Are you ready? Yes. I'm going to play it from my phone. I hope you can hear it. Here it goes. Is that when you dreamed about it? Is that how it was?

That's an experimental work by John Cage. I'm actually crying. What song was that bonus points if you can name the guitarist i i can't name the guitarist sadly but that's money for nothing by dire straits okay by an unidentified guitarist question 17 guitarist. Question 17. I enjoyed that way more than I thought I would. Yeah, you did. It's because you build it up

so much. I look forward to this moment all my life. I sit at home watching Spicks and Spe specs and i just know every answer to every question and then i never dreamed that my own music would be played back to me all right all right we go question 17 In the song Who Let the Dogs Out, who actually did let the dogs out? I don't know. I hate that song. I hate all that frat boy kind of music.

This is from the man that just played that last piece of music. I would rather listen to that again than listen to Who Let the Dogs Out. All right. I was learning the piece before. That wasn't on stage somewhere That was me figuring it out In my defense It was like Royal Albert Hall

That's right Special guest of Mark Knopfler tonight is Tim Hine From the Unmade Podcast It's like when Elton John comes out with George Michael Ladies and gentlemen Tim Hine. It's like, I thought we were playing Money for Nothing.

I am, I am trying to play. Question 18. Which member of the Beatles was the best at music? Was the best at music. That's such a musician's question, best at music. Like it's batting at cricket. Who was the best musician? It's hard to say.

It's probably Paul McCartney. It's hard to say, though, because we've seen him play the rest of his life. So we've seen him play a lot of stuff. Not that it got particularly complex, but he is a decent musician, that's for sure. Although Ringo, sorry, rather, not Ringo. He's the only one not in contention in this particular question. If this helps, I've got a bit of Paul McCartney here for you. they say some of his ladder work wasn't quite up to the early stuff he was hammered that day that's right um it look and george harrison i'm not really familiar with

how good he was pretty good guitarist pretty early on john John Lennon was a decent musician, but he's certainly... John Lennon was a better lyric writer, that's for sure. But I'll say Paul McCartney is a better musician. Question 19. If the band U2 had called itself U3, would it have been more or less successful? Less. Okay. It may have...

U2 is a pretty crap name for a band, to be honest. And it's a pun as well, you know, so it's, yeah. But it's, I guess, oblique, opaque enough to have worked. But, yeah. Every band name is pretty awful. Question 20. Are you ready for some sport questions? Oh, am I?

Yep. Question 20. is pretty awful question 20 are you ready for some sport questions oh am i yep question 20 which australian rules football team is better the adelaide crows or poor adelaide power oh the adelaide crows yeah definitely they're not my favorite team but they're up there certainly better than port i can't stand port so So. Yeah. Yeah. Fair enough. Good answer. Question 21. What were the names of three of Brady's goldfish, which he named in honour of a West Indian wicketkeeper? Did you say three of your goldfish? Yes. Three different names.

And they were all named after the same wicket keeper. I remember you having goldfish. You love them very much. And they look beautiful. Like at night time in the lovely little aquarium, you know, when I'd crash on your floor and it'd be the only light in the room is the lovely light from the goldfish. You'd go to sleep. I didn't actually. They were different fish, though.

I don't think you knew me when I had these particular three fish oh these were when i still lived uh in glengarry oh well that's not fair then how could i possibly if i didn't meet the fish the fish you when you saw that fish tank that's probably when i had lots of fish like you know like that school of neons and stuff like that an angel fish yeah yeah i didn't name those ones yeah they were cool when you i i can't remember the name of the west indian let me how many west indian cricketers can i name there's the two bowlers and i've gone so viv richards is a batsman there was gus logy uh yeah and there was but he's not the wikikiba because he was playing silly men on.

Kirtley Ambrose was a bowl and was it Richie Richardson? Is that right? Yep. He was a batsman. And there's another bowler. I can't recall his name. I can't remember the name of the wicketkeeper. I can't remember.

All right. So I'm going to have to pass. Am I able to pass? Well, I guess. Yeah. All right. If you have to. That is one that I'll know pass? Well, I guess, yeah. All right. If you have to. That is one that I'll know as soon as you say it, though.

It will go, oh, yes, of course. Question 22. What were Brady's other two fish called in that same tank? If you get this, I'll be really impressed now. Oh, well, that's easy. They were named after that West Indian cricket player. Throw a couple of names out there. There's a slim, slim, slim chance that you will get one of them because this was around the time you knew me.

Okay, so this is the early 90s. And if you name one after a cricket player, maybe you name the other two after cricket players as well. They were both male names yep that helps for some reason i decided all my fish were men were they all cricketers i will tell you they were not named after cricketers oh okay all right all right so if they're men but they're not cricketers or maybe maybe they were nine maybe they were brandon and dylan but you wouldn't have done that that wasn't till the only other cool person in your life at that time, apart from Brandon and Dylan, was me.

So I'm going to go Brandon and Dylan. Let's go for question 23. Let's do it. We're coming into the mathematics section now, I'm afraid. How many questions are there, by the way? Wait and see. I'm not going to tell you. All right.

We're stretching Tim's attention span here. Well, now you're onto the maths questions again. Here we go. Question 23. Which one of these people is not a famous mathematician? Terence Tao, Leonard Euler, or Mr. Potter? Well, Mr. Potter certainly is. So

Euler and Tao, hey? Well, one being a Fields Medal winner. One of them is a Fields Medal winner. One of them is a Fields Medal winner. I know. I'm just, you know, saying I knew you knew. I was just saying that out loud. It was one quite early in his career, actually. I'm going to say I think Euler.

Euler doesn't sound to me like a mathematician. So, Towler and Potter are the two mathematicians. Okay. All right. You've gone with Euler. Doesn't sound like a mathematician. So, let's go with question 24. Which one of these mathematical disciplines is the easiest?

Algebraic geometry, linear algebra, or year 12 business maths? Well, that's not fair because I'm most familiar with algebraic geometry. most familiar with algebraic geometry and uh i'm not sure how well i did at year 12 business maths but i uh um i know what geometry is and i know what algebra is i'm gonna go with year 12 business maths although go with business i will i'll go with business maths. I will. I'll go with business maths. I didn't do business maths, so who am I to judge? No, indeed. Indeed. That was just presumed knowledge for your end of the class.

Question 25. This is a question that came from my wife. Because as I was writing the quiz, she just so happened to be doing some tidying around the house, like cleaning the house, like hardcore cleaning. She just so happened to be doing some tidying around the house, like cleaning the house, like hardcore cleaning. And she was sort of going past my office door, scrubbing things and all that, working really hard. And she leaned into my office and said, what are you up to?

What are you doing? And I said, I'm writing a quiz for Tim. And I read her some of those questions. So her question was, does Brady do much around the house? Well, it needs to be more specific. Like, for instance, does Brady do much YouTube editing around the house? That's a yes. Does Brady do much podcast recording around the house?

Yes. Does he write many pointless quizzes? Definitely, yes. I'm going to go with no. I'm going to go with no. No. That's a bit of a leading question. Okay. Question 26, geography.

Why is it really funny when someone in Adelaide says Maslin's. Civilians in Adelaide or Adelaide civilians will be giggling now because they know that Maslin's Beach is a nudist beach. Okay. Apparently not all of it. I've never been to Maslin's Beach, but apparently it's only a portion of Maslin's Beach is nude. Tim learned that the hard way. Your Honour, only a portion of it. I'm sorry, officer.

Which, it depends how that legislation's worded. is there like a line in the sand though you're standing right next to that line on one side there's a whole bunch of nude people and then there's a whole bit like and you're just standing there fully dressed like two feet away from a bunch of nude people like where does it end yeah well i'm not standing anywhere but i imagine there has to be a no a no's, what do you call it? No go zone. Yeah. What's the term I'm looking for? No man's land. Yes. No man's land. That's right.

So, so, so it's just for some context, like when you're like at school age and someone says, should we go to the beach? Because Adelaide's got like loads and loads of beaches you can go to. If someone says, should we go to the beach? And then someone says, yeah, what beach should we go to? There's always one comedian that goes, Maslin's. Usually that was me or Tim. It was hilarious every time. Question 27.

What was the answer to question five? Oh. I was writing down my answer to a few of these, but I only got as far as writing Shakespeare and Dickens and then a question mark. Question five. We. Oh, gosh.

Hey, hang on. What number are we up to 27 ah that was question five the one where you said what is the answer to question 27 or was that 26 oh i don't know if you're doing a a donovan double back here where you're going back okay so the question yes so it could be that you're saying that the answer to question five was chewbacca but maybe that was 26 and we genius at work here people in case you're wondering what you're listening to so if someone's just tuned in now. Talk about a Fields Medal. Someone hand me a Fields Medal right now. I'm going to say Chewbacca.

Question 28, geography question, Tim. Right. What is the longest river in the world? And when I say long, I mean it in terms of if you were naming all the rivers in the world, which one would take you the longest to think of its name? The longest to think of its name. If I was naming all the... Okay, so let's think of it. Well, let's do it.

This is one of these ones we can actually do. Let's name all the rivers in the world. There we go. Let's start with the Nile. Always the first one. We've got the Murray River. That's two. Yeah.

There's that river in the Amazon. What's that called again? I can't tell if you're joking or not. I literally am. I'm not joking. That'd be the Amazon, Tim. Is it just the Amazon River? Yeah.

Okay. There we go. That's easy. Good. Yep. There is the Torrens River going through Adelaide here. Torrens. Yep.

Yes. Fantastic. If I think of it, then it's got to be the longest it would take me to think. Can I name any other rivers? There are lots of rivers. I'm just giving the people at home some extra time to think of this one. To name rivers. Just in case they haven't paused.

I thought someone had paused you for a minute there. Well, there's the Murrumbidgee. That's the funnest to say. Murrumbidgee. And it's the last one I thought of. Nice one. So let's go with the Murrumbidgee. Good on you.

That's a good name. Murrumbidgee. Look up the Murrumbidgee, people, if you've never heard of that one. Which, if you live outside Australia, you almost certainly haven't. And that'll be testing Google too, trying to work out if you've spelt it right to find it. I've got no idea how to spell it. I actually once had a spelling test in year seven

and one of the words we had to learn was the name of a lake in Australia called Lake Caddybarra Wirricana. Wow. Question 29. This topic is the earth. If you drank all the water in all the oceans and then you did a wee how long would that we take and i'll accept a year in either direction if you don't get i'm i'm actually pausing to wonder whether this is actually possible to calculate.

In other words, do we know? I mean, mathematically, I guess we can estimate the mass of the rivers in the world. This is the oceans now. We're going to leave the rivers. Sorry. We're going to leave the four rivers on Earth. There were several i did oh the jordan river comes to mind as well the the um old old day now tim's gonna be just sending me texts of rivers as he thinks of their name well for weeks the th. The Thames, yes, yes.

The Yarra. Well, there's the Rhine as well, and there's the... There's a whole list here. I won't go through them now. The Darling. The Seine. The Swan. The Swan River.

There's quite a few when you stop and think about it, aren't there? I mean... There are. There are a lot. There are a lot. There are a lot. The last one to think of frustratingly keeps changing as an answer. So that's an answer you... Yeah.

You won't be able to mark me on that one for a little while yet. Come on. How long is this wee taking after you drank all the water in all the oceans? Well, so I'm wondering if it's possible for people, you know, into physics like yourself to work out the mass of the oceans and the earth, whether that's done and whether then technically, if we know that it takes, you know, that someone expressing urine from one litre of water

or something takes this amount of time on this, if they haven't had caffeine and all the rest of it, I wonder if it's actually theoretically possible to work it out. But, of course, it's in the hundreds of years. So what are you going to go for? I'm going to go for it would take, I imagine them to go, all the oceans of the world to go over a waterfall would take,

would in itself be an enormous amount of time. So I'm going to say to we it would be a thousand years a thousand years okay question 30 this is a movie question in the movie star wars we are told the millennium falcon did the kessel run in less than 12 parsecs of course technically the parsec is not a unit of time but of distance however there are elaborate explanations as to why the statement can technically still make sense, and it was explained subsequently in the movie Solo. So my question is this.

Is my interest in this topic the main reason I struggled to get a girlfriend in high school? No, I maintain your hair was the main reason. Okay. You were just told it was the Star Wars maths to not hurt your feelings.

Okay. All right. So that's. Okay. All right. So, that's a no. Question 31. This is a food question. What is the best thing on the menu at McDonald's? That's a really good question. Look, I have to be honest with you because I, as most young kids do, you sort of, you grow up and you go with a stand, you have a Big Mac.

And then I met you and then you were always very insistent. You introduced me to the Quarter Pounder. And I don't think I'd ever had a Quarter Pounder before I met you. But I switched to the Quarter Pounder and the Quarter Pounder is delicious. It's got the pickles there and everything and it's only after i'd known you for a little while that i realized the reason you liked the quarter pound over the big mac is because you avoided all the the vegetables i don't i don't like lettuce and tomato which is that i'm like oh yeah i'm missing out on that because i quite like them particularly in a burger but i have stayed with the quarter pounder um ever since so but i like as a little as a

little tribute to me that's right it's like it's like my um rexona deodorant which i switched when i met you because i thought that smells nice like the as in i borrowed it sometime not that i smelt you but i mean i borrowed it one time and i went oh that, that's great. And I switched and I haven't, and that's 25 years. So it's similar. That was around the same time as the Quarter Pounder. And so I maintain it's the Quarter Pounder. The only thing I would add to that is for a long time, I really loved the fries and I would order two lots of fries instead of a burger.

Yeah. Because the fries, particularly they're salty, are really good. And the strawberry thick shake. I'm a bit of a softy for a strawberry thick shake. And even when I'm not eating McDonald's, if I'm driving home and it's been a long drive and I've been working somewhere or something, I might, you know, pop in and just get a thick shake because I like the strawberry thick shake. And one person who was studying health years and years ago at Flinders told me, oh, they're not actually too bad for you. They're not, you know, it's like a powder.

So I was like, so I hold on to that. I don't want to investigate that in case it's wrong. I just sort of hold on to it. It's like a health food. Like these days, if the kids are sick, you'd go and buy them a couple of strawberry shakes. Get that India. Yeah.

Bit of health food. So it's hard So I'll go a strawberry shake Because it's unique You're going to go strawberry shake after all that? I thought you were going to name every single thing on the menu there for a minute No, no, no, I need three items Question 32, this is a question about language What was the first word ever spoken?

And we'll make it in English. Oh. The first word spoken in English. Hmm. I'm just thinking back. My dad would have known because he was there. Although he didn't speak English very well. What was the first word ever mispronounced in English?

The first word in English. Lavender. Lavender. Question 33. This is a space question. Question 33. This is a space question. When Neil Armstrong first stepped on the moon, how awesome was it?

It is pretty awesome, yes. You're going to go with pretty awesome? Pretty awesome. Okay. Well, I don't know if awesome can be varied in that way. You know, what levels of awesomeness are there? Yeah. Well, you have obviously never seen me play football. I have actually seen you do something awesome on the football field.

When we play these football games, I remember you getting a cramp in the midst of kicking a ball falling on the ground in pain and the ball going through for a goal that was amazing yeah i can still picture that what that was that was awesome courage courage that's that's courage they should have taken a photo of that and made it into one of those inspirational posters which is courage written under it that's right or cramp you could just say cramp cramp yeah or that you're going ow cramp dude that could that could have worked it was it was it was awesome i'll just say it was awesome you said pretty awesome do you want to go with just awesome i'm downgrading to awesome because

the simplicity of saying it was you know it know, it created awe is enough in itself. I think the more you add to it, the more you diminish it. So, I'm just going to say it was awesome. Okay. Well, when I give the answers, we'll find out how you did. Yep. We're nearly there. Question 34.

Yep. This is a history question. This is the actual only semi-legitimate quiz question. How many days after the assassination of John F. Kennedy did Jack Ruby shoot Lee Harvey Oswald? And for a bonus point, did anyone remember to interview Jack Ruby? I hope so. I think it was November 13th that JFK was shot,

but I don't remember how many days, but it would have been a few days. It was a bit of an investigation. Imagine they got right on it. The president's shot. You don't go, well, that's something to look at tomorrow, isn't it? You pretty much get on it. It was a bank holiday.

That's right. I'm sorry End of my shift Hey by the way Bob Dylan's just released A 17 minute song About the JFK shooting And America

And so forth It's fantastic I listened to it the other day With the headphones Just marvellous Really loved it Really immersive Alright

Recommendation from Tim there Mid quiz Yep Look I'll have to I can't recall I know we Wikipedia'd it at the time Really loved it. Really immersive. All right. Recommendation from Tim there, mid-quiz. Yep. Look, I can't recall. I know we Wikipedia'd it at the time, but I'll say seven days. I'll say it was seven days after. Okay.

And yes, yes, I'm going to take a punt that someone has interviewed him now. Probably since our episode went out someone would have checked and yes and yes he and yes someone did remember to interview him yes yes question 35 a politics question here what was the first word of australian opposition leader john hewson's 1992 budget reply speech mister reply speech? Mr. Do you want me to explain? Yes, you can, if you like.

Oh, well, because generally he begins with Mr. Speaker, I rise tonight to, you know, X, Y, Z. They usually begin with Mr. Speaker because in the Australian parliament, all comments must be directed through the speaker. So I'll say Mr. Okay. Question 36. This is the final question of the quiz, Tim.

What is the URL for people who want to support the Unmade podcast on Patreon? And for a bonus point, why should they support us on Patreon? I guess it's unmade.fm slash Patreon. Or does it go to a Patreon site? I think that's right. And I can't think of a good reason why they should Fair enough Just cause You know when you're young You didn't need to have a reason for something

You go I don't know Just cause You just did it Yeah Do it because your parents don't want you to Yes Yes

It's an act of rebellion Yeah Hide it from your partner. That's a great. Like it's sneaky McDonald's. All right. Hide it from your partner. What's this coming out of?

What's this coming out of our bank account every month? Another $3? What are you doing? Have you got a drug habit? Oh, dear. All right. Are we ready for answers and scoring? I'm going to go through the answers.

I'm going to add up Tim's score. Civilians can do the same. Find out how they did. All right. All right. No correspondence will be entered into. My decision is final. That's hardly fair.

All right. Okay. Are you ready? Yeah. Question one. The car I designed in the mid-1980s. You thought it was the Laser. You were kind of on the right track because I liked the word Laser

and, like, sort of the zipper in the middle appealed to me. I called it the Zetron. The Zetron? The Zetron. Yeah. That didn't catch on. No. Question two.

A ton of feathers or two ton of half-sized feathers. Tim, you were right. It was the two tons. Do you know what? In this document here, I wrote down like the answers under each thing. And without even thinking, I wrote they weigh the same. Oh, really? I got it wrong when I was writing the answers underneath.

It is the two tons. That's the cliche wrong answer. So, yeah, yeah. It is the two tons. Point for Tim. If you're listening, Mum, I'll explain that one later on. I've got a little counter here in my hand, so I'm going to put a point. Every time you get a point, I'm going to click a point.

So there's your first point. Oh, cool. All right. Question three. In the movie Top Gun, why are there so few actual guns? Tim said because they're the best of the best and people die. But the correct answer is because it's about planes and men playing beach volleyball. Oh, right.

There's no actual. Oh, you mean handguns. Yes. The other thing about Top Gun is we're never told who the baddies are. It's just at the end. The baddies are here. Well, this is what you've been trained for. But there's no context.

We're suddenly shooting people out of the sky. I just assumed they were Manchester United players. All right. Go. All right. Question four. If you could live forever, what is the highest number you could count to? Tim said infinity.

I am not going to give you a point for that, Tim. Why? Because infinity isn't actually a number. It's just like a concept. I think the answer should be undefined. I'll tell you what. I'll give you half a point. Thank you.

Half a point. If you said infinity, I'm going to give you half a point. If you said undefined, I'll give you a half a point thank you half a point if you said infinity i'm going to give you half a point if you said undefined i'll give you a full point and if you want to know what the highest number someone actually has ever counted to i looked it up jeremy harper is an american entrant in the guinness book of records who counted aloud to one million live streaming the entire process how long do you think it took him to count to a million tim that is impressive i would not have known this how long do you think it would go one two three four so he's doing it more than he might do two numbers a second but then as he gets to the higher numbers it takes a full second to say the number like 500 600 and you know so um no i don't know so so what's a

what's a million seconds? Without like using a calculator, what's like your intuition? My intuition to do that would have been, oh, let's say five hours or something. You know, he did 16 hours a day and it took 89 days. Three months doing it 16 hours a day. So when, when you want to think about how big a million is, bear that in mind. That filled me with awe. That is awesome. Yeah. Yeah. More than the moon landing?

You sounded more impressed. I am more impressed with that than the moon landing. Did that take longer than the moon? Than Apollo? It did. You can go to the moon and back in the time it takes to count to a million okay you'll be quite easily question five tim what will be the answer to question 27 tim said chewbacker correct there you go nice question six human body how long would it take to die if someone took all your intestines out and put them on the ground?

I just said very quickly. Tim said a couple of hours. I don't know. I guess I'm going to have to give you a point there because I don't actually know. But I think it would be quicker than that myself. But I'll give you a point. I know someone who'll be able to clarify that for me. So I'll feed back in future if it's an undeserved point.

All right. For the question seven, capital cities, iferved point. All right. For the, for the question seven capital cities, if there was a fictional country called Brady land, what would its capital city be? You said Hanksville. The correct answer is Timopolis. Timopolis. I like the sound of that.

Actually, I don't really like the sound of that at all. It's a horrible name for a titty, but sure. Hey, but if you want to use it oh by the way going back to the intestines that you thought would maybe you like using the moon as a unit of measurement i'm learning that you said the intestines would go to the moon and back in humans in humans the small intestine is about six meters long that's about 20 feet yep and the large intestine is about one and a half metres. That's five feet. Okay.

And how far away is the moon? There we go. It's about 300,000 miles. I may have been getting confused with our DNA. There's something. Question eight. In a game of Scrabble, who would win between Shakespeare and Dickens?

You said Dickens. The correct answer. This wasn't meant to be a trick question, but afterwards I realised I'd accidentally written a trick question. In a game of Scrabble, who would win between William Shakespeare and Charles Dickens? If you add up the Scrabble scores for William Shakespeare and Charles Dickens, William Shakespeare would win.

Oh, for the letters of their name. Yes. Yeah. That wasn't the intent of the question, but... That's clever. I should have thought of that. William Shakespeare, we're taking as the answer. It would be interesting to take all the words used by Shakespeare

and all the words used by Dickens and do the average Scrabble score for each word and find out what the average Scrabble score is for each of their words. Who used more expensive words in Scrabble? Get on it, people. I want someone to do that. That's the sort of thing that you would find interesting enough to do and that you'd I'd be interested enough to look at the YouTube clip of that's the difference thanks man so it would take me all this time and then you'd look at it for two seconds yeah yeah well I wouldn't look at all of

it I'd go oh yeah okay yeah no that's interesting how you work that out question nine who would win a fight between Samson and the big fish that swallowed Jonah? You said Samson. I'm going to give you that one. Samson. Yeah. He was very strong. Question 10, according to the Sofa Shop jingle, how many times is the word sofa said? Oh, yes.

I'm interested in this. Tim, you said eight. The correct answer is six. Oh, really? The picture, the painting I was thinking of in my head, you said The Last Supper. I'm afraid it was the Mona Lisa. I was going to say the Mona Lisa and I thought that's too typical. He would deliberately have thought of something else. I just couldn't get it out of my head.

Every time I tried to think of another painting That one just came back And you know what? It was in my head too And even as I was saying Last Supper I was picturing the Mona Lisa Like I was It's like Follow your heart

Follow your heart, Tim Don't overthink it I'm a simple man I'm not a complicated person No Question 12 Cutest breed of dog You were correct the chihuahua question 14 why was there no question 13 because it's unlucky you're correct question 15 uh what celebrity once had

his pants split apart while he was at a playground with friends tim heine correct Tim Hine, correct. Question 16. What was the piece of music? It was indeed Money for Nothing. We'll play it again for you now, people. Question 17. You didn't know who let the dogs out. And while that's an incorrect answer, it is not clear who let the dogs out from the song.

It is not established. But apparently the song is about men not treating women well like like speaking to them rudely and the men are the dogs in the song i learned after i researched who let the dogs out you literally typed in who let the dogs out and then it would have just given you the song so you added on who who basically i just thought it was funny to say in the song, who let the dogs out, who let the dogs out. And then I thought I better research it. So I learned a bit about the song. It could be, it could be the, the basis of the, you know,

the very famous skit who's on first, who's on second, who let the dogs out. Two of the great pieces of recordings of the last couple of centuries. That's right. Question 18, which member of the Beatles couple of centuries. That's right. Question 18. Which member of the Beatles was the best at music? I mean, it probably was Paul McCartney, but I'll accept any answer except Ringo Starr.

The much maligned Ringo Starr, yeah. Point for Tim. Question 19. If U2 had been called U3, would it have been more successful? The answer is no, it would have been less successful correct answer tim question 20 which australian rules football team is better the adelaide crows or port adelaide tim was correct it is the crows question 21 the three goldfish tim you passed the goldfish were called p, Jeffrey and Leroy, which are the first three names of the wicketkeeper Peter, Jeffrey, Leroy, Dujon.

Oh. But he was better known as Jeff Dujon. But his full name was Peter, Jeffrey, Leroy, Dujon. So I had Peter, Jeffrey and Leroy. Oh. Question 22. The other two fish, they were Harry and Bruce. Bruce Samerson?

Is that who was named after him? Yeah, Bruce Samerson. Question 23. We had which one of these three famous people are not a famous mathematician? Terence Tao, Fields medalist from Adelaide, now lives in California. Leonard Euler, who Tim thought didn't sound like a mathematician, but is probably the most famous mathematician of them all, along with Gauss, maybe. Or Mr. Potter, who was my year 12 math teacher.

And of course, that was a trick question. They are all famous mathematicians. They are. I love the idea that a guy comes from Adelaide, becomes a famous mathematician and goes, I'm going to go live in California. Like it's like he's living it up like it's Hollywood. It's just so un-mathematician. It's like, yeah, and I've got a convertible.

There's palm trees and I'm driving around. Living the life of a mathematician. He is at UCLA. Question 24. Which of these mathematical disciplines is the easiest? Algebraic, geometry, linear algebra. I did not do it. Well, I haven't done any of them really, but I'm going to say business maths is probably the easiest one to do in terms of taxing the mind. So Tim, that's a point for you. So that business maths finally has paid off.

It has. It's paid off in other ways as well. It doesn't mean business is necessarily easier but conceptually sure takes a certain type of mind doesn't it but you don't get a field medal for math for business maths you don't get a field medal for business maths no not yet it could happen it could happen you get a nobel prize for economics that's right that's right that's right uh question 25 does brady do much around the house? The correct answer is no or not really. So I'm Tim. Question 26. Why is it really funny when someone in Adelaide says Maslins? Indeed, because it's a nudist speech.

We're still giggling at it. It's ridiculous. Question 27. What was the answer to question five?backer correct question 28 the longest river in the world uh in terms of how long it takes to think of its name that question of course is unanswerable so i don't know how we're going to score that one no i'm not going to give it to marimbi because you thought of other ones after that so yeah you don't get a point uh question 29 if you drank all the water in all the oceans and then did a wee how long would that we take i i did attempt to do a calculation here tim yeah uh i mean there's a bit of give or

take in this and i could be i could be very wrong in very many ways but the number i came up with you said a thousand years the number i came up with was two nonillion years right that is a that is a two with 30 zeros after it yeah and i'm basing that on the volume of the oceans and the average flow rate for uh an adult male going to the toilet and it could also be wrong but it definitely isn't a thousand no no and as i said a thousand i thought no this is ridiculous this is in the millions this is it's an absurd but it's it was i was i'm encouraged that the that i my attempts to give a back of the envelope conceptual kind of calculation was legitimate a thousand is a long way from two nonillion but no indeed i wasn't sorry let me clarify i wasn't saying i was i'm actually my claim is quite small it's not that i got the right answer is that it was a calculable thing

and so which is a bit like doing a math test and not not having not writing down the answer but but saying, I agree that this can be done. Question 30 was the Star Wars Kessel Run technicalities. Is that the reason that Brady struggled to get a girlfriend in high school? Tim said, no, it is not, is the correct answer. It was just a minor contributing factor. Point for Tim. It was a cocktail of reasons The question is If we had to list all the reasons

How many years How many years would it take Could you count to a million It would take longer than that ocean wee That's for sure Question 31 What is the best thing on the menu at mcdonald's tim said a strawberry shake that is incorrect the correct answer is the double cheeseburger a double cheeseburger do you like that more than the quarter pounder do you well it's like a double

cheeseburger is like everything that's good about a quarter pounder without the things that are bad it's a nicer size it's got a better meat to bread ratio the double cheeseburger is the correct answer no um the most popular item on the menu by the way the most ordered item is can you guess what the most ordered item is well i guess i think fries would be the most but people don't order fries they just sort of i mean do you want fries with that you know but i i just so they probably mean a burger which i think is the big mac in history but i i i think actually think it would be fries um well the correct answer is fries yes and second on the list is the big mac right i feel like i know too much about mcdonald's and we've talked about it a bit imagine if we got into kfc god oh yeah that's a quiz in itself.

Question 32. The first word ever spoken in the English language. It was not lavender. It was aardvark. Aardvark. Right. Question 33. How awesome was it when Neil Armstrong stepped on the moon? It was very awesome.

Oh, very. Yeah. Not very, very. Question 34. Jack Ruby shot harvey oswald two days less than 48 hours i believe after the jfk assassination and yes someone did remember to interview him so tim you get one of two possible points there do they ask him why he shot lee harvey oswald and then follow up question. Do you know anything about why the president was assassinated?

After we did a whole podcast about this, Tim, did you not go and look it up and read all about it? No. Right. Well, go and do that. Interesting fact, Jack Ruby's real name was Jacob Rubenstein. Hmm. I do remember reading that. Question 35. The first word of Australian opposition leader John Hewson's 1992 budget reply speech was indeed Mr.

Ha! There you go. That's 1992. Or three, was it? Yes. Yep, 92. You got Mr. but you got the year wrong. It was Mr. in 92 as well, you see.

That's why I got the year wrong. Question 36. What is url for people who want to support the unmade podcast on patreon it is patreon.com slash unmade fm which tim which tim got wrong so thanks for nothing what happens if they go to the one you said you said unmade i i assume you can go to our site and then go down on the menu to Patreon, but that actually transfers, of course, to the Patreon site itself. You'd need to go. That's right.

Just go there, people. Go there and do it. And the reason you should do it, which was the second part of the question, was not that you shouldn't do it, as Tim suggested, but is that you should do it because it helps us make more episodes of the podcast like the one you just listened to. Because in case you didn't notice, we didn't have a sponsor today. This episode has been made possible by people supporting us on Patreon.

We really appreciate it. And the more you can help us out, the more we can make. So thank you for listening. And let's add up Tim's score. Oh, yes. My counter says 18, so it should be 18 and a half because of that half point. But let me double check. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

Oh, sorry. 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 and a half. Tim, you scored 18 and a half points. Nice. I would be very curious to know if anyone topped that. That's out of 36, is that right? There were 36 questions, but there were a couple you could get double points for. So it was probably out of a possible score of i don't know 38 i don't know how many points i was going to give for the fish in case anyone got the names of my childhood fish correct there's a chance they would have

it's not a great score is it it's all right it's probably slightly higher than i expected but there was no do you know what i'm good at i'm good at fast money you know at the end you know we needed a fast money bang bang bang, mad minute at the end. Quick ones. Oh, yes. That would have been quick hands. That would have been great. Maybe next time we'll do a mad minute.

Thank you for doing my quiz. My fiendish, bean dish, hard quiz. I did. I love a quiz. And I enjoyed this one immensely. What do I win? What do I win? Is there, there's no.

Just the satisfaction of a quiz well done. I'm crowned the inaugural bean dish champion. You win the bean dish. It's like the Super Bowl. It's an actual dish. That's all. Yeah. You win a dish of beans.

Awesome. At the end, all your teammates come up behind your back while you're not looking and pour a dish of beans over your head. It's a tradition. Yeah. Oh, my teammates. I couldn't have done it without them.