The Unmade Podcast - Special: Tim arrives in England

Episode Date: May 1, 2024

Brady travels to London Heathrow for Tim’s arrival in England. There will be more adventures and mishaps to come.Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/unmadeFMJoin the discussion of this episode on our subreddit - https://www.reddit.com/r/Unmade_Podcast/Tommyball - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLY2OYgTm-83N5RqQzbvMib0ddnmERh2My

I've just got into a car. I'm in a hotel car park right next to Heathrow Airport. I spent the night here last night because I agreed to pick up Tim when he arrived in London and his plane lands shortly. So I'm off to Heathrow Terminal 3. I don't know why I agreed to this. He could have found his own way out to my place. I just think it's nice to be picked up from the airport and I also thought maybe we could get some content out of it so content i hate calling it content hang on let me start the car again cars don't make nice car starting sounds anymore when they're hybrid while tim was in singapore we exchanged a few texts and we've agreed that when i meet him at the airport we thought maybe we'd do like a tommy ball thing and i'd greet him at the airport as Tommy Ball Tim Rather than as Tim Hine just because we haven't done Tommy Ball for a while. I thought it might be funny

It'd be a test for him after a big long-haul flight and a test for me at 5 in the morning How do I get out of this car park? So I don't know how it'll go I've printed out a sign saying Tommy Ball legend Tim Hine. Here we go. Here's the exit. I've prepaid so hopefully the gate just raises. Yes it does. So yeah, anyway, let's find how I drive to Terminal 3 from here. Brady Haran here, the voice of Tommyball. I'm actually here to meet Tommyball legend Tim Hine at Heathrow Airport. I've got a greeting sign here saying Tim Hine, Tommyball legend. At his request, I should point out, he demanded that's what the signs say.

Of course, Tim's arrival here at London is the first time he's been in England since he left the country in disgrace five years ago. He's been very quiet about this visit. He's claiming the visit is under the radar. He's asked no media to attend the airport. He's issued five press releases asking the media not to attend, along with full details of his flight and arrival time. I'm just on my way to the arrivals gate now. Trying to not draw too much attention. I have to be honest, there's not a whole lot of media here.

No media at all really. Very quiet. No fans here like they may have been in the glory days. Very anonymous arrival. It's like the ending scene of Love Actually, except without all the beautiful people coming through the doors. I'm seeing the first people from the Qantas flight arriving. It's the first flight of the morning. All looking a bit bleary eyeyed, these passengers having crossed the world. Jet setter like Tim Hine though, probably takes it in stride. He's crisscrossed the planet a thousand times in search of Tommy Borg glory. Quite a few middle-aged men in spectacles coming through. Not our middle-aged men in spectacles just yet.

Not our middle-aged man in spectacles just yet. Hang on. I think we may have a sighting here. Here we are. In his distinctive flat cap. Tim Hynde. Welcome to London once again. Are you from Netflix?

I'm not. Tim, it's good to see you again. You must be pleased. The media seem to have agreed to your request not to attend your arrival here. I was expecting Netflix. I've been making contact about Drive to Survive Tommy Ball Edition. No, no. I thought we'd signed, but no, you're... I don't think Netflix is here.

It is surprisingly quiet. Are you the only one here? I am, I am. Maybe they're beyond the next security barrier. I'm not sure. But while I have you to myself before the inevitable media throng descend, can I ask a few questions about the flight? Sure. First of all, I mean, you are a renowned international jet setter in your Tommy

Ball career. How do you find those long flights these days? Well, unfortunately, I no longer have access to the official Tommy Ball League jet, despite my legend status. So unfortunately, I did have to travel commercial on this occasion. Right. First class, I'm assuming. I was towards the front of the plane-ish. Towards the front-ish? How far towards the front?

Oh, look, I turned right when I got on, but I didn't have to go down very far. No. That's good. It was in the 40s. In the 40s. In the 40s. In the 40s. As befitting as I think they could tell who I was. So, you know.

Well, I was going to ask, were you recognised on the fly at all? Not officially, but there were a few sideways glances, I think. And people kept bringing me, like, bottles of water and things in lovely uniforms. And I think clearly fans of my career. That's a great Tommy Ball tradition, the handing over of water to things in lovely uniforms and I think clearly fans of my career. That's a great Tommy Ball tradition, the handing over of water to your favourite player. Oh yeah, especially on long flights, yes. And just finally, obviously this is the first time you've been to the UK since, well, that incident five years ago that is often talked about.

Were there any problems at security or customs? Well, I don't know if I can talk about that or not. I am coming in with fewer bags than I got on the plane with. Right. And a different passport by the looks of it. I knew it. Is that Romania? I knew it handling all these arrangements myself,

and I was assured this one would be fine. All right. I've got the Tim Hine Tommyball Legend sign as demanded in your pickup request. Indeed, indeed. It's a fantastic sign. Nice and clear. I'll just hop out of the way so others can see that there. Yes, people.

No, give us some room. Thanks. Please. Enough, enough. Thank you. All right. We're back to normal, Tim and Brady, now. We're leaving the car park.

Welcome. Welcome to the UK again. Thank you. Thank you. It's good to be here. Yeah. You're normal, Tim, now. Oh, okay. now oh okay yeah no it is this i hate being here this sucks tim and tommy ball tim are surprisingly similar sometimes i should have done a funny voice for tommy ball tim how was the flight

look it was fine it was uh delayed because, rather. Yeah, you arrived early. I was meant to take a rather direct flight from Perth direct, but because of the Middle East situation, I had to go to Melbourne first and then to Perth and then to Singapore and then to London. So it's been a long 30 hours or so. They didn't want the plane to fly over Iranian airspace. That's right. That's right. Yeah. They didn't want the plane to fly over Iranian airspace. That's right.

That's right. Yeah. And even when I was looking at the map coming from Singapore on a slightly different angle and refueled, you could see them sort of do a big curve, like a half moon around that part of the Middle East. Yeah. Did you make any friends? Did you talk to lots of people? I did.

I did. I sat next to some lovely people. Yeah. Yeah. A lovely retired lady who was a nurse and i chatted to her on the first leg and then the second leg i was next to a couple of doctors a husband and wife and um i had a lovely chat to them as well yeah that was fascinating lovely we had some connections from adelaide and things like that but we had a lovely long

conversation yeah which passes the time well actually conversation on the plane you sort of think oh i just want to be kind of alone and watch a film or something rather than chatting. But I just loved it. We had a lovely long conversation. And then meals come. And then you chat over the meal. And then you go from there. And then I'll never see her again.

It's a really strange bond on a plane, isn't it? Did you tell her about the podcast? I mentioned the podcast, yes. Because I talked about why I was coming to see you. Did she know it already? Look, she didn't let it slip, but I think we're very big in the medical industry. I think people, maybe who live, I know another doctor who listens to us, but people with crazy hours. No, she didn't know the podcast.

We didn't go into detail. She was not interested at all. Really? Ask about that. Not even a little bit? No, not really. Did you tell her about Spoon of the Week? No.

Damn it, I should have. That's why. Did you talk to her about Jesus? No, we talked about the church and her history growing up and that kind of stuff, yeah. Because one of the early things that comes up is, what do you do? And when you're a minister, it's like, oh, right, okay, which church? And then you talk about that, and that gets onto other things things so no we're coming out of the car park now is it because you're on holiday you don't have to like make her become a christian well i would struggle to make

her become a christian even if i was on on duty but we know because we just had an authentic conversation right you don't want to sit next to someone that says, have you thought about changing your entire worldview of life? No. So we had, yeah, very natural, good conversations. Concerns about American politics, concerns about the Middle East, a lot of things in common concerning about around the world at the moment, for which she will be hoping and I'll be praying.

Yeah, fair enough let's see if i can get into that lane there's a lot of european cars over here did you watch any tv shows or movies i did you know i brought a lot of reading and i just ended up watching sentimental movies yeah it's just classic case what'd you watch i watched um catch me if you can oh an air an airline sort of themed movie yeah and you know why i did because at the because tom hanks is awesome yeah well that's why but yeah i really love that film but also when i was departing you remember i sent you a funny photo of me wearing a pilot's hat i also sent that to another friend and he said oh catch me if you can you know like yeah you're

going to be flying the plane and that got it in my mind and so when I got on there and I'm flicking through the movies, there it was. And I was then in the zone to watch it. So I really enjoyed that. And I also watched another wonderful movie, which I had not seen for a long time, Parenthood, Steve Martin movie. And that's a really great movie. And I remember loving it. It's a very funny movie. I watched it and really enjoyed it long before I was a parent but particularly now it's been a long

time since I watched it as a young parent oh yeah that had me gooey all over that's for sure that's a great movie no TV shows podcasts I watched a documentary classic albums about you two that was on my iPad, listened to a podcast of a minister called Tim Keller. I played a lot of solitaire on the screen. Oh yeah. On like the actual airline screen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's quite addictive. And when you got hours and hours and hours, it's okay to be addicted to something. I feel like there was one more thing that I watched. Another, only one other film, but I can't remember what it was. I did sleep. Thank goodness. goodness so that was good so you've obviously been to the UK quite a few times so what do you think when you first arrive out of the airport usually

or do you remember the first time you arrived like when you're driving out I reckon the first time I came it was exactly like this you picked me up I think you were living here it so far it just feels exactly the same as every other airport it's like a highway except the grass is very green. I always notice that. Lovely rich green, particularly compared to Adelaide. I always notice how yellow the grass is when I come to Adelaide. Yeah, it's in the driest state and the driest continent on earth is South Australia. I remember the first time I came to the UK, it was probably similar to this.

We were driving pretty much where we are now and we're shortly coming up to the UK, it was probably similar to this. We were driving pretty much where we are now, and we're shortly coming up to the M25, which is a big motorway that does a big circle around London. You and I won't be going on the M25 now, we're just going to go over it and then go out west. But we went straight out onto the M25 and drove on that for a while. And I remember being a bit freaked out by how big the motorway was. were like you know six lanes of traffic and the woman who was driving us was just like a you know normal middle-aged older lady and she was just like you know plowing through the lanes crisscrossing and I was like oh my god how can you drive on such a busy road like I just was I couldn't believe people could drive on such a busy road and now it's like

I guess it's normal now isn't it years and years of reading rock biographies from british bands um they always talk about you know doing hard touring that is going up the m1 living on the m1 up and down is the is it the m1 that goes all the way up north the m1 yeah goes up like the spine i drive on the m1 a lot because it goes past nottingham where i used to live uh and goes up to yorkshire and so yeah the M1 is a main thoroughfare. And does it go all the way up to like Liverpool and Manchester? It doesn't go to Liverpool and Manchester because they're more off to the west like it misses those you have to come off the M1 and turn left to go to those and it doesn't go all the way up to Scotland I can't remember where it ends i have it ends up a bit past yorkshire yeah but so far i mean this could be melbourne

yeah you know or sydney yeah yeah there's no thatched cottages or people in um uh bear skin hats or you look you're you're the most english looking thing at the moment with your flat cap yeah that's right i put that on especially. I thought you'd like that. So we've got about two hours drive from Heathrow out to the west of England. West Country. West Country. Nick Cave has a song called West Country Girl about when PJ Harvey left him and went back because she's a West Country girl.

She comes from a tiny little town called i want to say oh what is it dot dot oh i've forgotten does she have a west country accent the west country accents famous for being kind of like quite like quite farmerish like you sound like you're a farmer like it's quite it's mocked a little bit in the uk yeah look i noticed that there are different uk accents but i don't know where they're from and how and why and where. I can't locate them. There are some you can barely understand, and then there are some that are kind of all proper, prim and proper,

and then there are others that are, I guess, northern, but I couldn't say which ones are from where. But I get, is Britain a little bit like, you know, if you come from this village, you speak this way, you drive, you know, four kilometres down the road to the next village and it's like, oh, I can tell you from there because of the inflection on your... I don't know if like on a village by village basis, but definitely you can drive a couple of hours and be somewhere with a very different accent because the country is so small. Yeah, you know, like a Liverpudlian accent is different to a Manchester and they're quite close to each other. So we're going to, we're not going to them but we'll we'll be flashing past some towns we're about we're shortly going past slough

where the british office is set oh yes slough yeah legendary come friendly bombs now fall on slough we'll also shortly be going past windsor castle oh right very close to that you you won't see windsor castle as well on this side of the motorway for some reason. When you're on that side of the motorway coming towards the airport, you get quite a good look at Windsor Castle, but because you're a bit closer to that big soundproof barrier on the left there, you don't get as many good looks at it. But if you keep an eye out to the left,

you will see the castle-y wall-ness and the castle-ness shortly. Hmm, it feels a little artificial, Britain, in that way. It's got all these lovely quaint places, but you get a massive freeway to all of them. Yeah, they're the motorways, and the motorways sort of hide it all from you, but get you around a lot quicker. When you go out further west than where I live and the motorways all stop, you miss the motorways when you're going down these single lanes, hedgeows, having to pull over all the time to let cars go past you. To let a horse and cart and all that. I've just been doing a bit of driving out west and it's pretty stressful. Oh look there's

a British-ish kind of house over there I can see. Yeah some thatch. Look at that yep I can confirm I have got proof of evidence we are in Britain. Okay. I always love the word lorry, too, that you guys don't call them trucks, you call them lorries. Yeah, lorries. And that, for me, always sounds like a children's storybook description of a large car. You know, Jimmy was crossing the road and there came a lorry. And that just seems like a Thomas a thomas the tank engine kind of

truck rather than a real truck but then you actually call the real ones lorries as well yeah yeah yeah you um you unlearn that it's a cute word after you've been here for a while and it does just become oh god look at all the lorries if i think back a huge amount of my images of england uh what are they shaped by of course television firstly children's television so things like naughty and the wumbles yes and then some adult television like yes minister and just the news where you used to see margaret thatcher and and the royals a lot of women's weeklies that my mum had which is like a a woman's, you know, gossip magazine about the royals, which was forever on about Princess Diana and Fergie and all them. What else shaped it?

Adrian Mull. Oh, indeed. Yeah, that's right. Books. Yeah. The Secret Diary of Adrian Mull. Yeah. And there were things in that book that I heard and read that I just had to put together in my mind what they were and then later worked out that they were the equivalent of something so like the gyro or something there's lots of mentions of that

there was a whole big episode about a gyro that's like a benefits payment isn't it it's like the doll in australia is that right yeah i think so it's like a yeah it's a check a check you would get from the government and then a public holiday is called a bank holiday and when people i never i still don't even have this clear in my head about when people finish high school, they do like O levels or A levels, but some do some and some do the others. Look at that, there's a sign for Windsor Castle

and on the same sign it says Legoland. Well that tells you everything about modern Britain, right? Well, Legoland is in Windsor. So Windsor Castle is out to the left. You might, it might be behind us already actually. I'm not sure. Chances to see Windsor Castle. Oh, you can. It might be behind us already actually. I'm not sure. Chances to see Windsor Castle. Oh, you can just see one of the turrets over there.

That's Windsor Castle. Oh yeah. Oh there, yep. Can confirm Windsor Castle. Resting place of Elizabeth II? Yep. She's there in the St George's Chapel. Oh yes.

I can't see that from here obviously. Also the sight of Brady getting his Order of Australia medal. Indeed. Indeed. Wow. Well, I think that's why she wanted to be buried there, isn't it? I think so. She wanted to be as close as possible.

It meant a lot to her. Yeah, and Slough's out there to the right. That's funny. Watching the office, I imagine Slough was like a small town way up north. It's actually like right next to Windsor. Yeah, I mean, it is rubbish, Slough. It is industrial and that, but yeah, it is close to Windsor, which is nicer. So it's like an industrial, it's like the outskirts of London,

but it just so happens Windsor is a small village near London. Is that right? Yeah, Slough is not part of London. Slough's its own town. No, but it's not like a suburb. Like, so far out now that it's its own sort of... Yeah, once you're outside the M25 you're properly outside London.

Right, right, okay. And we're outside that. So yeah, that's Slough's town, near London, as is Windsor. One of my favourite things about England is the pubs. They feel like proper pubs. And I feel like every time I go into a pub in Australia, I'm measuring it against how much they feel like proper pubs and i feel like every time i go into a pub in australia

i'm measuring it against how much like an english pub it feels and looks right i think you invented pubs i think in a sense there's some pretty rubbish pubs in england though like uh but yeah there's some nice ones too i'm not a big pub goer so i might be part of sort of pub culture but well the pubs i think the modern ones are the worst ones. I love the idea of a village pub obviously where there's people know each other, it's quiet, there's good conversation and you know that's that feels gentler and you can get some nice fish and chips. Fish and chips. Or bangers and mash. So I put the word out to our stakeholders that you were in town, you were coming, and asked what we

should do while we're together. Because Tim and I will be together for a few days before Tim goes off on other adventures and has other business. And there were quite, speaking of sausages, there were quite a few people wanting you to do the belly buster challenge. Oh yes, I was thinking about that on the plane. At my local food van. Oh yeah, now let's do that. I like that. There's a lot of sausages there to be eaten. So when do you want to do that? So there are multiple sausages in this one.

I believe there are multiple sausages. Sausages, bacon, eggs, all sorts of stuff. It's like, it's everything. Well, are we going past there today? Yeah, it's just a few minutes from my house. Wow. You could have it for your breakfast this morning. Wow, wow we could do that when's the last time i ate oh i had oh a couple of hours i did have a sausage and bacon and we don't want to be too hungry because as you get hungry your stomach

contracts so you won't have much room so you want to be just in that sweet spot of hungry but not you know but not full you want to be just in that you know you don't want to starve yourself that beeping by the way is speed camera warnings yeah well you can have it for breakfast this morning if you want well that might work well by the time we get there that might work well in the distance we're traveling perfect there's a good idea actually because that frees up all our other days unless we want another one and this you. Unless you want to complete it twice. That would be a record.

Do you actually think you could do it? I don't think you could do it. I haven't got a full, from the photos, I really, I mean, I've got to see it live to get a proper comprehension of how much food it is. Bearing in mind only two people have ever done it. But it's not like a world famous thing that thousands of people have tried. But people have tried and failed. More people fail than do it, by a long shot. Have you tried before?

No. I'll have like a cheeky sausage and bacon roll, though. You can have whatever I don't finish. Yeah. What, nothing? Oh, look, it's South Wales. So in Australia, of course, we have New South Wales and here's South Wales. But we're not at South Wales.

That's just telling us it's ahead. Well, indeed, it's a sign. Yes, that's right. Yes. This is very much like your idea that it's time New York got rid of the new. Yeah. Yeah, so there's a state of Australia called New South Wales. It's where Sydney is.

Yeah. Yeah, so there's a state of Australia called New South Wales. It's where Sydney is. Yeah, so obviously the settlers wanted to be reminded of happy times back in South Wales, so they said this could be the New South Wales, not realising the two wouldn't be particularly similar in climate or conditions. There's a long tradition since of naming things around Australia after English towns and villages and locations and monarchs in order to encourage immigration, to encourage the English to move over there. Remember, you know the town Elizabeth out the north of Adelaide. It's like there's a factory, there's jobs, there are new houses. It's called Elizabeth and they managed to incentivize a big tide of English immigrants.

My dad's family was one of them. He moved to Elizabeth when he came to Adelaide. They were lured to Elizabeth. I think, did it only cost £10 or you were given £10? Is that why they're called £10? No, it cost, your boat ticket was £10. Right. Yeah, Elizabeth, for those who don't know,

I would say is not the nicest part of adelaide it's it's doing better it's now an extended part of adelaide oh yeah it's a suburb it's a northern suburb but the uto it was sort of set up as this utopian perfect place like a little bit of england you know with a and there'll be 100 employment because of the car factories the manufacturing and it's um one of those i've seen it written up classic cases of how trying to create an artificial utopian kind of suburb or town just doesn't work you know everyone will have the same house so therefore there won't be like status anxiety or envy everyone will have jobs and yeah it didn't quite turn out that way. Have you contacted your family to say you arrived? Is that the first thing you do when you land and stuff?

You know, I called them and no one answered. So I've not spoken to them. Have you sent a text or something? Well, no. They just say that I've got a missed call. So I've not... Yes, I haven't got around to it. Oh.

I thought you'd be right on to that. Well, I did. I called them twice waiting for my luggage, but no one answered. So I'm like, well, see you in a few weeks. All right. You think they're glad to have you out of the house or it's like sad that you're out of the house? No, I think they're devastated. Is it just you and me talking now?