The Unmade Podcast - Special: Tommyball

Episode Date: December 26, 2017

Tommyball gets "made" - the idea was discussed in episode 4. Audible is THE place to go for audiobooks - sign on for their free trial - https://audible.com/unmade You can also text "unmade" to 500-500 if you live in the US. Tim is seriously currently listening to Pride and Prejudice! Supporting our sponsors also helps the show. You can directly contribute to The Unmade Podcast by joining us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/unmadeFM And take part in the Tommyball discussion on the Unmade subreddit - https://redd.it/7m6wsc Should Tim be inducted into the Hall of Fame? How do you feel about the rhombus? Tommyball T-Shirts and Merchandise - https://teespring.com/stores/tommyball Some sound effects and original music by Alan Stewart.

Well, welcome everyone here. It's time for the start of the 2017-18-19 Tommyball season. The game starts in an hour. As always, I'm here with my co-host, Tommy Ball legend, Tim Hine. Good evening, Brady. How you doing? I'm doing well. I'm doing well. It's good to be back. Well, as always, the first game of the season is going to be between the Traralgon Titans and the Glengarry Warriors. But before we go into that, we really have to talk about

the breathless end to last year's Super Cup final because we had to cut our coverage short obviously for for unforeseen reasons straight after the uh the final whistle for the game but we did see the Istanbul Bulls defeat today's Glengarry Warriors by just 19 do-wacky points nobody really saw that coming have you been thinking of that game since what are your reflections now I've hardly thought of anything else. It was, you couldn't imagine a more controversial end to the season, but the Istanbul Bulls got there in the end and finished it, and they finished it, it has to be said, well. I mean, 19 umpires reviewed that final decision before it was given, and they were split down the middle 10-9 did you agree with the decision i did i did

agree with it um and particularly after the footage came out later the mobile phone footage from the crowd it did it did and and and that showed that the decision had been correct but um it was controversial it's been controversial ever since but um it's a new year and everyone starts on four points again and goes from here. Do you think it calls into question the use of sketch artists in deciding how to review these plays? It is a long process. It can sometimes take up to an hour. I think they need to look at that, either to get quicker drawers or move to some mobile phone footage like we found that kid was able to provide in the crowd. It was remarkable.

Five years old, the kid that filmed that as well. Incredible. Amazing, considering you have to be 18 years old to go to a Tommyball game. He shouldn't have even been there, and yet he got the footage. He got the footage. He was snuck in, and in the end, the entire season was decided based on his deception. And his parents were, of course, imprisoned for this. It's been quite a costly exercise for our old family.

But the fans are grateful. Well, certainly the Istanbul fans. The Bulls, they're grateful. And I think justice was served. The sketch artist, well, he's having a good hard look at himself. As they say in Tommyball, the game's not over till the sketches have been done. And, well, that was never truer than in last year's final.

Quite remarkable. 19 hours that game lasted. It was. Very short. Very short. It was one of the quicker ones that we've seen. Enough of the past. You can, of course, download our previous podcast episodes if you'd like to listen to that final.

Just go to Tommyball, Tommyballmmy ball we love tommy ball.fm and you can get it all there now one thing i've been meaning to ask you about tim has was the just a few weeks ago prior to the season we had the traditional induction into the hall of fame of a Tommy Bowl legend. You were overlooked again. I can see you don't want to talk about that. But who was inducted was, of course, your old nemesis, Fred Dickerson. You were there for the night, Black Tie Affair at the Aqaba Hotel.

Can you tell us what it was like? Well, this is always a controversial evening and as you say, several people have come up to me, as they always do, and talk about the fact that while I haven't been officially inducted,

I have in their hearts. And to the end of the day, I mean, if Diana was the people's princess, I like to think of Diana was the people's princess, I like to think of myself as the Tommy Fall Princess. I have heard you described as that from time to time. Perhaps not coming out just how I imagined it, but I think people understand where the history sits and one day perhaps that particular injustice will be fixed.

Fred Dickerson was inducted. Hmm, yes. Well, I mean, it was a lovely evening. And that's really the most important thing. Dickerson turned up on time. That was helpful. He gave a great speech. Did you think so?

Credit where it's due. I've heard some people describe it as abusive. Well, no, no. I think it was... I think it was what we've come to expect. But, but, I have to say

the food was fantastic. It was? It was, yeah. And some people find it controversial that an invitation to a black-tie dinner asked everyone to bring a plate.

But, you know, in the end they came through and I think it was a fantastic evening. Did you spend any time talking with Fred Dickerson? I mean, your history together on the field is, well, the stuff of legend. Yes, no, no, I didn't talk to him personally. Was that because of the restraining order? It was, and I'm not able to talk about it any more than that. Right.

But I will be releasing a statement through my lawyers later in the day. But credit where it's due, I think he did give a good speech. Really? Right. Well, the bits of it I could hear. Right.

Very good. Anything else about the evening we should know about? Obviously they gave out various awards and other honours. Were you quite comfortable with all of those? I mean, it's just a celebration of Tommy Ball, really, isn't it? It is. In the end, Tommy Ball's the real winner. Yeah.

And as well as yours truly on the red carpet. I mean, you know, some people say that an evening climax is quite early on the red carpet. But I was able to wear a nice new Hugo Boss and that looked really nice. But, you know, it was a good evening and Tommy Ball's the real winner. It was an interesting climax and then, of course, the final game was controversial in itself. And it's been a long time, but we're at a new season and we're ready for the new season.

I must put one last thing to you, though. We all know there is this statute of limitations, as they call it, on the Tommy Ball Hall of Fame. Next season is your last chance to be inducted a lot of people are saying you should be in there a lot of people are saying you shouldn't we've still got that's the uh the video footage that's currently under embargo from your final game which uh a lot of people want to know what's on that footage but the league still hasn't released it do you think that is what's stopping you being inducted? It may be.

It may be what's stopping them. I think, though, as I'll just reiterate what I said before, the people have inducted me into their hearts. That's right, the princess you were calling yourself. I am the Tommy Ball princess, the people's princess. And in the end, that's all that matters. But I think, I mean, if the Hall of Fame's to have any credibility after this then any Hall of Fame that doesn't include myself isn't going to hold water in in historical no perspective well you're in the Hall of Fame of hearts I am I am I am in the I am

all right then anyway enough enough about the past as great as the past of Tommy Ball was game time is fast approaching here we're looking out over the field now. I guess it's time to talk about the weather and for that we're going to bring you our official weather report brought to you by none other than the Sofa Shop. The only shop for the sofa you need. So how is the weather looking out there Tim?

What do you think? Good for Tommy Ball? Well as they always say, if you want to know how the game's going to go, look at the chickens. And the chickens are eating it up. They love the grass and they are loving the concrete too. I mean, people think this is just a tradition, the letting out of chickens onto the field before the game. But it does play an important role in preparing the field itself, doesn't it? It does. It does.

And it's one of those things that has continued to evolve, the brand of chickens, the type of chickens, the number of chickens. That varies, but you must have chickens on the field. Never more than eight, though? Well, no. Obviously. Obviously, more than eight. But, yeah, chickens on the field, as people say,

if you're running late to Tommyball, well, you don't want to miss the chickens. Don't count your chickens. That's right. There are many good Tommyball sayings. It is glorious blue skies today. I mean, that's disappointing. Do you think that's going to affect play? It is disappointing.

I think the game will go ahead, despite the perfect conditions. But it's something to watch a bit later on we may not get all 19 hours in expected for today's play we're going to be hoping for some clouds later on which will obviously make the Tommy Ball itself easier to grip that will certainly be

something that I'll be keeping a keen eye on and updating throughout the game thanks to the Sofa Shop thank you the Sofa Shop, that was the weather brought to Thanks to the sofa shop. Thank you, the sofa shop. That was the weather brought to you by the sofa shop. Thank you, the sofa shop. The only shop for the sofa you need. Don't you do a thing until you've seen the sofa shop.

Don't you do a thing until you see the sofa shop. Event of five. Spectators are advised to have an up-to-date will and test. Of course, a new season. We're looking forward to the next three years. It should be truly epic. But the thing we really need to talk about are some of the rule changes that are being introduced just for this year.

Some of them, I think, long overdue. Others, a little bit controversial. Where are you standing on some of these key changes, Tim? Well, as they say, the world is changing. And I, for a long time, and I've not got a lot of support for this, but I have been advocating for the banning of weapons in the midst of play. Right. But you've always thought they should be retained for the halftime break?

Oh, no, no, no, no, absolutely. And that's something that I've been very clear about as well. But the weapons during play, I don't think has ever been in the spirit of Tommy Boyle. That's really strange coming from you as someone who used them so effectively in his playing career. Well, that's true. And some people may accuse me of hypocrisy at this point,

and they'd be right. But I think the game's evolved. I think the world's evolved, and I think we need to evolve with it. I think enough happens in the halftime break, and that's something that has almost become a game in itself. But I think that people need to be given time to recuperate, come back out, and the Tommyball game in itself continue on. but I think that people need to be given time to recuperate, come back out and the Tommy Ball game in itself continue on. Of course, we're having massive problems too

with injuries being sustained by spectators. I mean, it was getting to a point where it was no longer tenable. Well, it was getting hard to see the difference between players and some spectators. Do you think it's time to change the rule that spectators can run on the field as they please? No, I think that's an important part of the game I think that's something that's uniquely Tommy Ball

and I've been, just as the chickens are allowed out the spectators should be allowed out during the game as well and I think that's something, I don't think you'll ever get rid of that I think you may as well close up shop entirely if the spectators are going to be confined to their seats. Would you take the weapons away from the spectators too? Well, I don't think that's legally possible. No, no.

I think they've got a right to bring them and to use them as they see fit. Everyone, I mean, it's one of the risks you take when you play Tommy Ball. Yeah. And the spectators need to be able to express themselves. At the end, they're the ones that are paying the players' wages and they should be able to inflict punishment where they see fit.

Weapons aside, what do you think of the changes to the scoring system with the changing with the do-wacky points, 19 push shovels for a goal? A lot of people don't agree with that well some people say it's become a little bit confusing and need to be simplified i don't agree no um i think the algorithms are there and they've been used uh again and again to get the result yeah and um but i mean we've got to a point now where they actually are using a supercomputer to calculate some of the winning margins. Well, the Tommy Ball supercomputer

is doing a great job. Some people say that it can't be trusted. I don't think that's true. I think it's calculating. I mean, it's a very finely honed game, Tommy Ball. And some people say, why don't we just have a goal, and if you score a goal, you get one point.

Well, I just think that sort of game is just not going to catch on. No. I mean, that's the sort of thing that, you know, I mean, really? I mean, come on. But Tommy Ball, it has a complex scoring system. I agree with the scoring system. If we start changing the scoring system. Well, they have changed the scoring system.

They have changed it. Yes. No, that's wrong. They have. They've changed it. Well, No, that's wrong. They have. They've changed it. Well, that's... You start after one. How can we compare the games this year and this season

with the games that's gone before? Well, this is true. It does make comparing players across the generations difficult. But so many things have changed now as well. I mean, there were no shoes in Tommy Ball when you played. You had to play purely with just potato sacks over your feet. I mean, that was only 20 years ago some people say we had an advantage in that regard but i don't think that's true but no the

games the game's evolving and the game's changing but i think there are some things and yes i am concerned about that the score changes and it's probably a reason why the Hall of Fame issue is one that needs looking at it vis-a-vis my inclusion. Because I think in the perspective of history, my scores are going to be worth more than those of an equivalent amount that are playing in this era. That's true. That's a fair point. The new shape of the playing field, are you in favor of the rhombus i i am of course it i can see i can see i can see this one's playing on your mind like as you gaze over the rhombus field right now i always liked the octagon myself but the the rhombus faction i mean there's a powerful faction well it's it, it's a powerful faction. Well, it is a powerful faction. Some say, I mean, I think this has been driven by money in that the rhombus fits more spectators

with the new grandstand. More marketable. It's always been a more marketable shape as well. Kids love the rhombus. Kids do love the rhombus. They love the rhombus. They learn about the rhombus before they learn about the octagonal school. And so they can relate to the game sooner. And of course, junior Tommy Ball has always been played on a parallelogram, which is very similar in many ways. So coming up to the octagon was always a big step for the junior players coming up to the adult level, but that step's gone now. Well, that's true.

This is true. And I think the rules committee's taken that into consideration, for sure. Okay, now a quick message from today's sponsor. And Tim, I can't think of a better sponsor for our season opener than Audible. And that's for the obvious reason I'm sure everyone's thinking of, and that is the fact that for many, many years now, at the 500-minute mark of the opening game of the season, it is traditional for the game to stop

and for everyone in the crowd to listen to an audiobook for half an hour. One of the great traditions of the game. Oh, it is one of the great traditions. Something that can't be lost, must continue on, and has only been helped by the invention of the smartphone. Exactly. I mean, as we know, many, many years ago, it used to be that the game would stop and the stadium announcer would actually read a book over the public address system to the crowd for half an hour, which was not always the best because sometimes the announcer would choose a book that not everyone was into. But now with the advent of the smartphone, everyone in the crowd can listen to the book of their choice while there's a lull in play. And it's often been said it's one of the great spectacles of sport to see 150,000 Tommy Ball fans fall completely silent for half an hour while they listen to their favourite

John Grisham or Jane Austen book. It's quite a spectacle, isn't it? It is a spectacle. I mean, some say that it was more communal in the old days, being read to like a grade four class in primary school. Of course, there were always some who smuggled in cassettes with their Walkmans to listen to some contraband audiobooks of their own. But I think opening it up and allowing people to choose what they want to

through Audible has been a... Well, it's modernised the game. I think it's been fantastic while holding on to the tradition. As a player, during that half-hour break, when you had to just stand on the field in silence while all the crowd listened to their audio books, what would be going through your mind at that time? Oh, I was listening to the story.

Yeah? Often engrossed in it. No, it's a wonderful tradition. Of course, just quickly before we finish off our sponsor message from Audible, it would be remiss of me to not ask how things are coming along with your autobiography. I've forgotten what you titled it.

What's your soon-to-be-released autobiography going to be called? My Lives. And it sort of points to the fact that I think I've had many lives. Of course, there's my Tommy Ball life, and then there's my commentating on Tommy Ball life. And well, and there'll be other lives as well, I'm sure. But at least those two will be covered in the book. My Lives, a life in Tommy Ball and Tommy Ball Commentating. Well, I'm looking forward to that very much. Are you listening to an audiobook on Audible at the moment? Oh, I am. I just started one last night, in fact. And it's rather a classic. I mean, Pride

and Prejudice. I don't know if you've heard of it. I think it's a new young author that's just come out, someone Austin. But Pride and Prejudice it is.'t know if you've heard of it. I think it's a new young author that's just come out, someone Austin. But Pride and Prejudice it is. And let me tell you, I think there's some pretty exciting stuff coming up in that one. And as a sportsman, I like books about sport and I have a certain pride. And I just feel I've got a good feeling about this one. Some would say you also had a lot of prejudice in your sporting career. But that, again, alludes to some of the core orders that we can't really talk about.

Well, that'll all be in the biography. My lives. A life in Tommy Ball and Tommy Ball commentating. Well, I hope we end up seeing that one at Audible too. I don't know if a rights deal is being arranged, but we'll keep people informed. I couldn't possibly comment at this stage, but yes, there is. Anyway, we do hope that any Tommy ball listeners out there who are not yet using audible will consider them if you use the website and i'm i am serious here audible.com slash unmade you can go onto audible and get a 30-day trial membership so you can maybe go along to your next tommy ball game and listen for. You don't even have to pay for that first book. Or you could listen in other places like your daily commute or walking the dog or whatever is suited to you.

That's audible.com slash unmade. And also there's a new, because obviously we mentioned it's the 500 minute mark when we do stop play for audiobooks. we do stop play for audiobooks. If you are in the United States, if you're an American listener and you SMS the code UNMADE, U-N-M-A-D-E, to the phone number 500 500, that's another way you can also get involved with Audible and they'll send you a text back and you can get going so text unmade to 500 500 our thanks to audible for their continuing support of tommy ball fantastic thank you audible trieragan titans glengarry warriors who you tipping oh look i think a lot of people are going to be favoring Glengarry because they made it to the Super Cup

albeit falling short in the 19th hour. They are the bookmakers favourite too. They are but I'm a bit of a I'm a bit of a wrap on Trelgan. I think they are going to be a bit of a surprise packet this year. I wonder whether they are going to have

less of the run and speed that's so hampered them in previous seasons. They have always been too quick. It has cost them. They've been too quick and I think too fit. Yes. I think that's been something that's held them up. They're out there like, they're pretending they're athletes. I mean, this is Tommyball

for goodness sake. Yeah. And that's been something that's been a bit of a concern. So I think Trelbin's going to be a bit of a surprise packet. Well, apparently Coach Fitzgerald's had them on a strict campaign of eating a lot more food over the break this time, so they are carrying more weight, particularly around the midriff area. I'm just looking out over the players now. I can see, warming up, I can see Jim Lassie out there

and David Kobzinski, and clearly they're carrying more weight than last season. And I think that's something to stand them in good stead. Well, I think there is an extra McDonald's in Tarelgon, and I think that's been crucial to their preparation this year. There's no doubt about that. But, you know, you never can tell. And maybe they're fitter than they look. We'll just have to see.

What would you go if you think the Titans are going to get up? What would you predict as a margin? Oh, look, I think it'll be close. I think it'll be less than 1,000 goals. And I think that it's the sort of game that could be over in 20 to 30 hours. I mean, I really think... Seriously? I think...

Just so you know, I'm looking here at the stats. The shortest game ever for an opening game of the season was seven days. Seven days, three hours and 19 minutes. An opening game of the season being over in anything less than seven days would be quite a shock. I think the game's going more that way. I mean, I know that the Super Cup finished in 19 hours. Yeah, but that's the Super Cup.

I know, I know that the Super Cup finished in 19 hours. Yeah, but that's the Super Cup. That's the Super Cup. I know, I know. And controversially, it was cut short because of the things that we've spoken about. But I think this game, I think the game is getting faster. I think that's the way of the world. We've seen that in cricket. And I think we're going to see it in Tommyball. Not quite.

I mean, I'm making a prediction here. I'm really probably being a little bit outlandish and suggesting that the game can be over in under 30 hours, but I'm not sure we're going to see the average being around seven hours. I think... Seven days. Seven days, sorry, rather. I think Tarelgan are that unfit, and I think they're going to win. Well, that's quite something.

Less than 1,000 goals and over in 30 hours. You heard it here first. Get your bets on, people. What about the season in general? Can you see either of these two teams going all the way to the Super Cup or do you think it's going to be the usual European teams that are going to take it out? Oh, no.

Neither of these teams will be in the Super Cup this year. Really? Oh, yeah. No. This is, I mean, today's game, you know, is of interest to us. We'll see how they go. I think Torell, as I said, have put on a bit of weight, and that's going to help them,

but I don't think they're going to get as far as some of the European teams who are dominating the sport, and I think are going to continue to do so for the foreseeable future. Okay, well, fair enough. Now, lastly, we are getting close to game time, and we are going to throw to our official game coverage shortly, but there is two more quick topics that all the viewers have been wanting to hear your opinions on.

Everyone's been talking about it. First of all, the new uniforms the players are wearing this season. What do you think? They're quite a change. Well, they are a change. I mean, some people say the change came with the introduction of shoes, and we talked about that before in the new era and so forth. But the new uniforms... What do you think of the hats?

I, well... I don't mind the hats. Really? I don't mind the hats, no. I know a lot of players have been wearing hairnets, and I think the hats are... They're a better look on a man. Natural progression. I think they are are they're a better look on a man natural progression

I mean to be honest but no no I think the hats are bold the capes I think are longer and better I think the capes are a real improvement and I think we're going to see them being a real asset and even in the play particularly stopping

quickly I think the capes are going to be helpful and so that's an improvement that I like to see. Do you think the new rules they've introduced around the use of capes are going to help or hinder that? No, well, that's something that's going to have to be watched. I mean, the rules committee is going to have to watch that throughout the year. I mean, we can't have that many players suffocating like we did last year. And I think the new capes have made of a material that will help that not to happen as often.

I mean, if it happens once or twice a game, that's all right. But we can't have it happening all the way through. I mean, some teams have been decimated. And you've got to make sure if you're going to win a game, you've got to have some players out there at the end. I think the deliberate suffocation rule is going to help with that. Oh, yeah, no, it's time for that to change but look look like i think i think they're well designed i think i think bringing in chris out for it as a fashion designer has been a um a real asset he's brought a touch of

flair a touch of flair to it and i think that's a feminine touch as well to some of the uniforms i felt oh i think so too and i think he's done that really well. It's the brief he was given. That's what he's known for. And certainly that's what he's brought that in. And yeah, I think that we see that in the capes. I think we see that in the hat. And I think we're going to see that in the box. Okay. And lastly, I can see some of the players are moving out

towards the double ninja chucker out there. So we better be quick here because I think the game is due to start soon. The new Tommy Ball League logo. Oh, yes. I mean, this is a logo that has been unchanged for the last 390 years. The decision to change it this season was quite something.

What do you think of it? Well, I'm a traditionalist, but even I'm convinced yeah yep that this is i like it i like it a lot and um i think the old one well it's some say it's it's next to mcdonald's and nike the most recognizable and beloved brand i think that's worked against it yeah and i think that's limited it and sometimes you can be too successful you can be too successful it's become um how do you say omnipresent and um people are sick of it people are tired of it and i think we needed something new and i'm very happy with what they've come up with i think

you can't halt progress yeah and um uh so i'm a big fan of the new logo i i think it's i think it's i think it's well designed Do you think it incorporates too much nudity? It's a fair question. I've got it. That's a tweet that's come in from... It's come in here. It's come in here. I can see it here. It's from at mark fleming well

i'm gonna reserve my opinion on that one yeah um and again i'll i'll cite my um the advice of my lawyers all right then well look tim it's always great to join you i know you're going upstairs to join the main game coverage yeah i look forward to seeing whether your predictions come true. We will be here, as I said, after the game for a phone-in. You can get in touch with us. Any questions you've got for Tim about the new capes, the suffocation law, the chickens, the new rhombus field, and, of course, his non-inclusion in the Hall of Fame.

We're looking forward to your questions. Thank you very much Prepare your heart, prepare your mind, raise your weapons high Tommy Paul, one and all We the people cry May clouds forever fill your skies May play rescue model excites Prepare your field, prepare your eyes For Tommy Paul on all eight sides prepare your field prepare your eyes for Tommy

Paul