The Unmade Podcast - Special: Would You Rather…

Episode Date: April 18, 2023

Tim and Brady face a series of binary decisions. Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/unmadeFM Join the discussion of this episode on our subreddit - https://redd.it/12qag2f Catch the podcast on YouTube where we often include accompanying videos and pictures - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkIRMZDOKKKs-d14YPmLMxg USEFUL LINKS The Logies - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Logie_Awards The Brownlow Medal - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brownlow_Medal The Boatman’s Call - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Boatman%27s_Call Potatoes - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potato Chewbacca - https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Chewbacca

I'm in America for a change Tim bit of a different time difference for us and I've got a bit of a cobbled together podcast set up here I've actually got my microphone attached to my tripod with a sock because I didn't have any rubber bands or string or anything it's a it's everything is literally being held together by a sock do you take that sock wherever you go recording? Because this is your full-time job to do this sort of thing around the world Yeah, it's my podcasting sock It's a reliable sock It's my pod sock

Are they expensive, those socks? No, I get them just off the shelf I go off the shelf pod socks But you can get specialist ones, of course Tim's at his church and it's a Sunday morning I get them just off the shelf. I go off the shelf pod socks. But you can get specialist ones, of course. Tim's at his church and it's a Sunday morning, so I think he's going to be waving to his fans as they go past the window to his office. That's right.

Just blowing kisses and whatnot. No, everyone's largely gone and that was just my wife and one of my daughters saying goodbye. So that'll be the last of those. You didn't invite them to come and watch the recording live today? It was a bit of a treat. I begged them. They weren't up for it.

All right. Well, I've got a bit of a special episode in mind today, Tim, because I've had an idea for a podcast, as we always do. But this one I don't think I can just mention in a normal episode and move on. I want to do it. I want to play it. I want to act it out. I want to do it. I want to play it. I want to act it out. I want to see it through right from the start.

So rather than a sort of a usual episode, I'm just going to tell everyone what my idea is. And then Tim and I are going to kind of just play around with it and pilot it for a little while and see if it's any good. I like this idea. This is, I mean, you have given me a little bit of a heads up,

which is great. I think it was a, was it a 45 minute or a 90 minute heads up something like that which means i'm a bit over prepared compared to normal frustratingly long time to think about it i love sitting down with a with a mate with a you know watching tv and having a chat and just playing a bit of would you rather yes just putting like binary options to to my friend and saying what would they opt for if they could have a or b b or c you know a bit a bit of this or a bit of that and i

think this would be a great podcast you know bring a guest on and just throw a few what would you rather at them so this is uh would you rather every i mean everyone plays this game this isn't this isn't too original but it's just so much fun. It's the one I pull out at dinner sometime when something comes up and then I just suddenly pivot into it. Well, would you rather that or and another option. But can I say right off the bat, I wonder if this is a guy thing. Have you ever played a successful game of would you rather with a female?

I find the women in my life, namely my wife mainly, they just don't buy into hypotheticals the way men do. No. They just don't get it. They always come up with a third Goldilocks option, and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, that's cheating. It's like, well, I'd actually rather be on a beach. It's like, no, no.

I mean, that is the worst. But the other one is, well, that would the worst but the other one is that would never happen yeah i know it would never happen but it doesn't mean it's not cool to talk about i think guys we go into hypotheticals like all in like everything hangs like i can't even say the wrong thing now i have to make the right decision yeah it's gonna be you're gonna be held to it it's almost like the hypothetical universe is the real universe And I'm just like, what I choose to do in real life doesn't really matter too much But if I get asked a question, hang on, hang on now

Now we're playing for sheep stations, as we say in Australia Or you're worried you'll get to heaven or something And there'll be these two wonderful options for you And you'll gravitate towards one And some angel will say, sorry Tim, on the 3rd of January 2015 you said you'd actually prefer that and we're holding you to it. I wonder also actually if it's the women who have trained us into this situation because I feel like there's quite a few times

in marriage where we end up doing something and I'll say, why are we doing this? And it's like, well, you said that if we ever – and I'll say why are we doing this and it's like well you said that if we ever and I'm like so I feel like the hypothetical world matters so much because I'm going to be held to it and it's going to be remembered by um by the partner down the track one of my favorites and I'm sure and I've asked this of you before although I can't remember what you said Tim, would you rather win an Oscar or a Grammy? I believe you have asked me that. And I would say even though my interest and respect for the Oscars

has diminished significantly over the last 10 years or so, I think it's now down to Grammy level. Like the Grammys have always been pretty low. it's now down to Grammy level. Like the Grammys have always been pretty low. So I think I would, but I think it's probably still an Oscar. I mean, the Oscars have a lot more prestige, don't they? I mean, everyone's got a Grammy.

I think I may have a Grammy. I think the Unmade Podcast won three this year. I sort of, I'm living a more minimalist life, so I got rid of a lot of my Grammys when we moved. We give them out as Patreon perks. That's right, actually. I wouldn't be surprised. Every now and then a text arrives from Brady,

and it's like, you wouldn't believe what we're making now. Like, you'll be making a Grammy or getting them made or I found a guy who can do this. So you're going to go to the Oscar? I think I probably would. I think even musically, I think many people would rather have an Oscar for best song than for record of the year or album of the year at the Grammys. I think that's probably true. or Album of the Year at the Grammys.

I think that's probably true. Would you rather win a Tony Award or the Gold Logie? The Logies are these Australian television awards. They're like the Australian Emmys, but even less prestigious because they're voted by magazine readers. They are. And they're, I think, is it fair to say notoriously, you know, there are PR people and employees of different channels sitting around cutting them out and filling them, you know, like it's just.

It has been suggested that the TV stations do try to put their thumb on the scale, so to speak. We have no evidence of such things. No, we have no evidence. No. But it's not because it's such a prestigious thing. It's just because it might leverage a little bit more publicity and glamour for their show.

Look, that is – look, I've never watched the Tonys. I know what a Tony is. I've seen a few shows on Broadway. I think it's funny to say that because I think the Tony is a sign of genuine talent, whereas a gold Logie is just mere popularity a gold logie the gold logie like they're all different categories of logie but then there's the gold logie oh that's right well all the others are silver aren't they they're just for little small categories and then there's the most i think it's most popular personality on television i think that's what yeah yeah so

it's not even most skillful like it's not for talent or skill or best. It's just most popular. People like Kylie Minogue have won it over the years and so forth. I want to say a Tony. A Tony's the only one that would feel like it mattered. But in another way, the gold loge in Australian culture matters in a way that it doesn't matter. So it would be fun to win and just mock the heck out of the fact that you're winning. You know what I mean?

Like it could be a fun moment. What about you? What about you on that one? Oh, Tony, Tony Ord, because it has some prestige to it. The Logies is ridiculous. No, but it would be fun to win something so ridiculous. And like a fictional character has won it. Norman Gunston won the gold Logie, like a fictional character.

All right, let me give you this one. All right, let me give you this one. Would you rather win an Oscar or a Nobel Prize? A Nobel Prize. Okay. If you were going to win a Nobel Prize, which Nobel Prize would you want to win? Is there one for maths? Now that I know pi from our last episode, I feel like.

To four digits or whatever. There's a Fields Medal for maths. I actually spent yesterday with four Fields Medalists. Whoa. Gosh. But I digress with that ridiculous brag. I was going to say, what's the collective noun for a Field Medalist? But I feel like field is what I spent the day with, a field of medalists. Field of Fields Medalists.

Yes. A field, like a cricket field. Yeah, which Nobel Prize would you want to win? There isn't one for maths. I'll tell you what you can have. You can have medicine, physics, chemistry, literature, peace, and economics isn't really a Nobel Prize, but let's call that a Nobel Prize as well.

But I don't think you're going to choose that one anyway. Yeah, you do know me. Look, I should say peace because that would mean that I've done something significant for world peace. But honestly, it would be for literature. Yeah, you want literature? I would feel that would be amazing. The other ones, like want literature. I would feel that would be amazing. That would be amazing. The other ones, like, whatever.

But, I mean, it would be great for me to win the Fields Medal or something in mathematics and be asked the question. So, Tim, you know, as part of your answer tonight, tell us what is pi? And then going, got this in the bag. Thank you, Brady. Just to recap on your bragging about the fact you got pie right in the quiz with some guesses well tell me again what pie is okay now listen i didn't get it right i said i didn't know it and you explained it to me and i felt chuffed that i now know it for the week since that's what so i

would get it right now i didn't i didn't get it right that's the whole point i didn would get it right now. I didn't get it right. That's the whole point. I didn't get it right in the quiz. But let me explain what pi is. It is, so you've got a diameter of a circle and then you've got the circumference of a circle. And it's how many times the diameter fits into the circumference of a circle. Correct. And what are the digits? It is 3.141. And it goes on from there. That's enough. I mean, I could go on, but I won't.

I still don't know why that would be useful. Like, why is pi such a thing? Apart from when you're making a pi, it might be useful then. Well, it comes up all the time in lots of different areas of mathematics, but it comes up a lot in geometry. Like, you know, sometimes when you're building a bridge and things like that and you need to know angles of things and all that, you do need to – you use pi a lot in practical terms when designing things as well. I mean, you don't need to know any more than 3.1, 3.14.

You know, all those extra digits are just stamp collecting. But pi itself is a very important number. The ratio is very important. Oh, I think in this week now having known it got it under my belt i i feel um did you weave it into did you weave it into your sermon today or for instance pie and uh it is great when you learn a new piece of knowledge or a new word and you just spend the whole week focused on it popping up i also love it with when i work with colleagues at work. Sometimes someone

learns a new term or a word, or I knew a new, let's say I learn a new word. And then in a faculty meeting two weeks from now, I use that word and I'm looking around the room for acknowledgement that, oh, yep, nice work. You put that into practice. Nice work with the word. So can I just ask you then, would you rather be a maths teacher or a science teacher, teaching chemistry, physics, that sort of stuff at high school? And I know they sometimes are different teachers, but let's just say science or a maths teacher. Science. Yeah? Yeah, because there's more stories you can tell. There's more like, you know, there's more sort of dirty, gritty human stories I feel like I could tell.

All right. And I find those subjects, you know, easier to work with. I love mathematics and I love making my Numberphile videos, but I'm not very good at mathematics. I don't have a good knowledge of it. You knew what pi is, but hey, we all know that. But sub-question, would you rather teach chemistry or physics? Physics. I wouldn't like to be a teacher, though. No? No. You are kind of. Are a teacher, but

without having to do any behavioural management of students, though, and marking and stuff. Yeah, exactly. And being told what to teach. I don't like being told what to... You know me. I don't like being told what to do. I'm the worst being told what to, you know, you know me, I don't like being told what to do. I'm the worst person in the world to have to stick to a curriculum or a syllabus, like, no. But you'd be the cool teacher. You'd be the cool teacher, like in Dead Poets Society, Mr Keegan. Whose students then all fail the exam at the end of the year

because they didn't learn anything they were supposed to. But they've experienced some cool poetry along the way. They've experienced some cool poetry along the way. Would you rather be better looking than you are now or smarter than you are now? I would rather be smarter. Come on. I look amazing. Look at me.

True. I am speaking to a handsome moron. I'm a himbo, male bimbo. Look, I look phenomenal. No, I would rather, I don't care about looks anymore. I don't think I care about looks anymore. When did you care about looks? Well, I guess when you're young you care a hell of a lot about looks,

certainly teenage years and maybe after then as well, and probably still now a little bit, but I don't. The stakes are so much lower now. Like I have a devoted wife and I'm middle-aged anyway. You're devoted. You mean trapped. You're not the hot stud I married. It's like she's never turned around again I've seen your wedding photos, man

Look, I wouldn't marry me We have that in common Would you rather marry me or marry you? Oh. I'd rather, I think I'd rather be married to you, except for all the kissing and stuff. Because you're, I mean, you're nicer than me. And like, yeah, I don't know, though.

Maybe you'd be a bit more chauvinistic to be married to, though. Me? Wow, really? Yeah. Yeah. That's a good question. What do you mean? Like more traditional values kind of guys?

Yeah, yeah, you know. You'd expect to be the head of the house and me to cook your dinner and all that sort of stuff. Oh, I'd get lost. I'd just open the door for you and things like that. Here I am trying to talk you into marrying me. How do we get into this conversation? Come on, man.

I swear I'd be a good husband. Just give me a chance. Let's try it out. Let's try it out. No, I think you would probably be better. You're a nicer, more considerate, caring person. I don't think I'm more considerate. I think you think of things, but you're probably a bit more lazy.

Like you don't do them. But you know the right thing to do more than me, whereas I'm like clueless. I'm like, oh, yeah, that's right. I should have done that. Okay. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I'm definitely probably lazier than you.

We spent more time on that one than we – I'm imagining my life married to Tim. I think my wife would say it's pretty much as it is now. Like we all live on the other side of the world one another. We're practically married. My kids sometimes say, you know, like something will happen or should we do this? And one of them has been known to say, better check with Brady first.

It's like... Would you rather be the world's best guitarist or the world's best pianist? Look, that's a really great question. This is one of those ones that I think about driving along, like if I could supercharge, because I do love the piano and I regret not continuing on. I learned the organ.

I should have pivoted to the piano and gone with that. That's the one I regret not knowing. Right. I would like to be a good guitarist, but that's not a mystery. I just would be able to do what I wish I could do now, but I can be a bit of a hack at it. Whereas the piano, I can't even pull that off. I think music is the highest art and I think the piano is the best instrument. So I would rather do that. Yes. You'd rather be the world's best pianist.

I would. Yes, I would. Yep. Would you rather be the world's best bass player or the world's best drummer? The world's best drummer. I think drumming is vastly underrated. Someone was teaching me once, you build a band around the drummer. You need a quality drummer. I think drumming is vastly underrated. Someone was teaching me once, you build a band around the drummer. You need a quality drummer. After the singer, you need a drummer and you can

build everything from there. They are amazing. And drumming is fun. A good, like really good drumming. There's very few really good drummers. Most rock drummers aren't very good, but then you watch some drummers who are very good. Dave Grohl's a very good drummer. And you can go on from there. There's a guy in the Smashing Pumpkins who's just an amazing drummer. Then you get into jazz drumming. They're unbelievable, unbelievable. All right. Ask me more questions about drumming.

Would you rather be better looking or a better drummer? I would rather be a better drummer. Really? All right. Because in the drummer world, I'm a pretty frigging good-looking guy. Would you rather live in the US or the UK? This is one I've thought about too. The only place in the US I would live is New York,

but there or the UK, because I sometimes think, oh, would I go for a holiday there or this way? They're sort of two places I directions I head so um I think probably the UK I think probably I feel more at home in the UK all right let me ask you a few questions then man if you could have played Han Solo or Indiana Jones as an actor, which one would you have liked to have played? Oh, that's a huge question. You expect me just to answer that in one podcast? I would like to be...

Oh, God, that's a hard one. How awesome must it be to be Harrison Ford? I know, I know, I know. He's like, oh. I go to say one and then the other comes into my head. Oh, I think, look, I think Indiana Jones is cooler. I think Indiana Jones is a cooler hero. But as a personality in the world, I think I'd like to be known

as the guy who was Han Solo because then I was in Star Wars because Star Wars is more iconic. Yeah. And I think Han Solo is the coolest character in the coolest film series. So, today I'm going to say Han Solo. Wow. But I do think Indiana Jones is like a cooler hero. I'll tell you what's amazing is that you're part of a collective.

In other words, you're not the main character of the Star Wars and yet you're agonising, which is really interesting. Has there been a better sort of co-star of a film, you know, an off-sider, if you like, than that? Let me put it this way. If they were real people, I would rather be Indiana Jones. Let me put it this way. If they were real people, I would rather be Indiana Jones.

But as like an actor living in Hollywood, I'd rather have been the guy who played Han Solo. Right. Okay. Fair enough. So you're more into living in the past than the future. Oh, no, no. They're both in the past strictly, aren't they?

But one's in space. Star Wars is a long, long time ago. That's right. Back before the Second World War. What's your answer to that? I think Indiana Jones. Yeah. It feels, I love him. The older I get, the more I love Indiana Jones. Because I love that he's an academic, but he also wears like cool, like has a nice leather satchel. And he goes off on the benches and he's rugged. And he wears glasses when he's lecturing, but somehow he doesn't need them when he's shooting someone in the country, you know, from a long distance.

I like how high on the list having a leather satchel was for you. Yeah. Which is something I could go and do right now. No, it's the hat, you know, it's like the whole outfit, the hat and the boots and I like that he's all kind of rustic and messed up. Han Solo's a bit like that too, isn't it? That's the cool thing about Star Wars And I like that he's all kind of rustic and messed up. Han Solo's a bit like that too, isn't it? That's the cool thing about Star Wars.

Yeah, Han Solo's got some cool stuff. And he's got the Millennium Falcon, the ultimate rustic, beat-up, cool item. It'd be funny to swap, like, weapons. Like, what if Han Solo had a whip? How useless would a whip be in space? That's the thing. Would you rather have a signed copy of Nick Cave's album Murder Ballads or Nick Cave's album The Boatman's Call? The Boatman's Call.

Why? I mean, how long have you got? You came out very confidently about that. Because I'd heard of that one and I think it's a cool name for an album. Fair enough. Nice. All right. Would you rather?

The Bateman's Call as well. See, I was right. You were right, correct? Yeah, thank you. All right. There's a few more in this Nick Cave section. Thank God I'm editing this thing. cave section.

Thank God I'm editing this thing. Okay. Would you rather be the 13th person on the moon or the first person on Mars? First person on Mars. It's just the first, isn't it? It would be. Yeah. I mean, what's the 13th person on the moon? But you love the moon.

That's what I'm saying. Like for you, it would be like. Yeah. Good. Yeah. Fair point. Fair point. But I think if you go to Mars, you've, you know, that's pretty i'm saying like for you it would be like yeah good yeah fair point fair point but i think if you go to mars you've you know that's pretty iconic as well and if you're the first

person to do it i mean that's a yeah i mean i'd rather be the first person on the moon i'd rather have been neil armstrong you would rather be the first person on the moon than the first person on mars yes yes because because i feel like the moon was like the first finish line it was the first thing that was on earth even though the moon is enslaved the first finish line. It was the first thing that was on Earth. Even though the moon is enslaved to Earth, it orbits the Earth, it still feels like it was – and it's not a planet. It still feels significant enough that it was the first thing. And I do have a greater attachment to the moon than to Mars.

You know, I think it's, you know, I guess because I see it way more and know more about it. So, I'd rather have had that. But now that that's gone and been taken, first person on the moon, I think first person on Mars is, you know, is the next one. Maybe you could stop off on the way, like, and do both. You know when you go on a long trip and you leave the house and you're like, oh, we just need to get petrol.

So you sort of drive for about 10 minutes until you stop somewhere for petrol, fill up, get a drink, and then you head out for a few hours on the big trip. Maybe the moon's like that. You take off for Mars, but you're like, hang on, we just need to pull into the moon for a few minutes, grab some stuff, and then keep going. There is a lot of talk about that. There's a lot of talk about using resources on the moon as fuel for trips to Mars. Wow. Literally. So, yes, really using it as a fuel stop. Wow. Like chips and an iced coffee, that kind of thing.

Would you rather be the first person to set foot on Mars, I don't know why they would have chosen you, but say they did, or win the Nobel Prize in literature? I would rather win the Nobel. Well, I mean, in some ways prizes aren't a thing, are they? They're just a thing. I guess when I say my first instinct was the prize, but I think that's because I would rather have done what resulted in me getting the prize.

In other words, that means I would have written some pretty amazing novels or poetry. And that sounds in some ways more appealing to me than going to Mars. So you'd rather be a successful writer on a planet full of people who have been successful writers than being the one and only singular person who was the first to set foot on another planet on behalf of our species? I actually think I would. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it doesn't appeal to me at all to go to Mars. That sounds inconvenient. Yeah, it's a few months to get there. A good question.

Would you rather go to Mars or not go to Mars? I think I would rather not go to Mars. All right. Yeah, all right. Very good. All right, let me pivot back to- The cave. No, let's slip that further to Harrison Ford. Would you rather Harrison Ford or Tom Hanks play you in the major motion picture, Brady Haran, a life as Tim's friend? I think I'm going to choose Harrison Ford because I like the idea that Harrison Ford's CV says,

Han Solo, Indiana Jones, Brady Haran. Like, I'm in that. That's who I'm, you know, Jack Ryan as well. Yeah. So, yeah, I think I'm going to choose Harrison Ford just for that reason. I think it's a, you know, I like the idea of being amongst that iconic list. Nice, nice. That leaves Tom free for me. I mean, Tom Hanks would play you.

Yeah, I think Tom Hanks is more likely to play you than me. I think he had a bit of a dress rehearsal with Forrest Gump, really, didn't he? So he's sort of... Life is like pie, 3.1. Life is like pie, 3.1. Let me ask you another one then. This is maybe a big one. At a ripe old age, a long time from now,

would you rather die before your wife or your wife die first? Wow. I mean, that's going deep, man. That's not Han Solo, Indiana Jones territory. There's a lot to think about there. Because, you know, you think about the selfishness of it too, don't you? You think about, you know, like I don't want to put my wife through the trauma of, you know, dealing with my death, you know, that's tough on her. But I also don't want to watch her die.

No, yes. And I want her to have a longer life than me because I want her to have a really super long, happy life. You know, her life is more important than mine. I think I'd rather die first because it's just seems more the natural way of things and she would be and I would rather her be around to look after our son because I think she would probably do a better job I think that's probably best yes well I think that's

wisest it's a tough one isn't it it's a hard question like to yeah once you once you give someone a choice about it it suddenly becomes really hard what where do you stand on that i think i'm at the same place as you that even though it seems no no i well i even now i'm going back and forward and i was thinking about it pondering it when i was considering the question for you because you don't want the other person to grieve and i've seen how the grief is terrible for those that are left behind. On the other hand, it feels the wrong thing to say you would rather they die first because you would not want them to die. But in some ways you're balancing is it worse to die or to – for someone you love to die, you know.

But you answer it for yourself on one hand and you answer it for them on the other. Because there's always that thing, you know, would you like jump in front of a bullet to save your wife? Well, of course you would. Yes. But maybe, yeah, but that's the question you're asking as well, isn't it? Maybe you shouldn't. Maybe you're not supposed to do that.

I don't know. Yeah, I think I should go first. I think I will go first. So that would, you know, let's just keep it at that. Yeah, I think women do live longer than men, just as a- Yeah, especially men that live- Eat like us. Indeed. Yes, indeed. If you had to eat only broccoli

or carrots for one of your meals each day for a year, would you rather eat the broccoli or the carrots? Carrots. Easy. I don't mind carrots. Don't like broccoli at all. Is there another vegetable on the same bar as broccoli? I mean, I despise tomato.

Tomato would be the bottom of almost any list. Wow, that's so fascinating. It's not even really kind of like a vegetable. In fact, strictly speaking, I think it's a fruit, but it's also- I didn't realise the question was vegetable exclusive. I'm sorry. No, no, it is. No, no, indeed.

Yeah, no, I'm just- I had a question of similar ilk for you. I've got lots of food questions on mine as well. Would you rather give up for the rest of your life, be banned for the rest of your life from eating vegetables or fruit? Which would you bin forever if you had to bin one? I would say probably fruit. I just forget to eat fruit.

I take an apple every day to remind me to eat an apple or something. I just forget fruit. I just forget to eat fruit. I take an apple every day to remind me to eat an apple or something. I just forget fruit. I don't particularly enjoy it. No. What about you? Would you rather? No, I prefer fruit. I'd keep the fruit because there's almost no vegetables I like. But there are lots of fruit. I like bananas. I like all berries, strawberries and things like that. I love pineapple.

Fruit is kind of like the fun good food, isn't it, really, over vegetables? Like vegetables are kind of like the serious good food, but the fruit is like the fun good fruit, good food. Although binning vegetables, you know, it would depend what the implications were in terms of all potato products because, you know, if all potato products went off the table, then suddenly maybe that's different, you know. Am I not allowed to have chips anymore? Fries?

Potato is the most popular vegetable, surely. Yeah. Yeah. It's potato is so good I almost don't count that as a vegetable. It's achieved official non-vegetable status. It's such a crowd pleaser, isn't it? Like there's broccoli trying to pull its weight and potato's just out front going, woo, everyone wants me.

Just that bloke everyone loves. Walks into the party and everyone's like, yeah, I want to shake his hand. The potato's here. He's the coolest dude, man. Your parents are like, you should spend more time with broccoli. He's really good for you. No one wants me. Which would you rather wear, jeans or shorts?

Oh, jeans. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I wear jeans every day and I just love jeans, yeah. But shorts are like, you know, your legs are free and you're more free and easy. Jeans can be quite, you know, constraining. I like the constraint. I like the feel of jeans.

I wear shorts around the house, I guess, particularly in summer. But no, I know a friend here who wears shorts every day. He wears them to church through winter. My postman wears shorts every day. He wears them to church through winter. My postman wears shorts every day in England, no matter what the weather is. It'll be snowing and he's wearing shorts. My dad was a bit like that. He'd pull up his socks really high,

but then he'd be wearing shorts all the way through winter and the frost, golly. Would you rather be the world's greatest footballer or the world's greatest cricketer? I feel like when you say football, I'm assuming Australian rules football. For you, yes, yes. There's lots and lots of running around, isn't there? I think I love football as a game much more than cricket,

but it's like a full-time job, full-on running every day, every day. So – and I wouldn't enjoy that, the practising, whereas cricket feels like – It's really hard. It's hard in jeans as well. Did you see? Yes. Cricket feels more like going out and having a hit, you know? Like it's all pretty nice and relaxed.

No one's running. A couple of beers. Yeah, yeah. Standing around in the sun. I feel like cricket, and it's a global game too. You're flying around. There's a lot of sitting down, you get out there, run, but, you know, you're fit, but then you get to sit down for a while,

wear a nice jacket too, you know, like it's toss the coin. The sitting down really appeals to you, doesn't it? The sitting down part of being the world's greatest cricketer. There is a little bit. It's not like you're running like 20Ks. It's like you go out, you do your thing, and you come back and, oh, let's have a coffee, just sit here in the shade, wait for my friend to get out.

Oh, now I'll have a go. I mean, that's a nice rhythm. That's a lovely life. That's wonderful. Would you rather be the world's greatest tennis player or the world's greatest golfer? I think for similar reasons, the golfer. You just stroll around. Actually, no, I think probably tennis player. I greatest tennis player or the world's greatest golfer? I think for similar reasons, the golfer. You just stroll around.

Actually, no, I think probably tennis player. I think tennis player. You know what? I don't like the pressure of golf. Golf just feels like your entire life is coming down to one little shot, and that's happening on a regular basis. I have made you the world's greatest golfer, though. I haven't said, do you want to be a golfer?

I said, you're going to be the world's greatest golfer. I know. So I guess it's pretty good. You know you're going to get the shot. So, look, I like the idea of golf, but I go out, play a round of golf, and by about the 16th hole, I'm done. A round of golf takes too long. I play a game of tennis, and I feel like another game the next day, for sure.

Yeah. I think I'll enjoy playing tennis more. So you're going to be the world's greatest tennis player, are you? I am. I am, yes, if that's okay. All right. If you could, for the rest of your life, choose between one of these and you can't have the other, watching movies or watching TV shows?

I would watch films. Yes. Right. I mean, good films. It's a bit like the difference between a good meal and popcorn in a way. It's often easier to put on a TV show if you know the series is good and you're into it. The film obviously takes a little bit more to get into. But if it's a good film, it's more satisfying.

It feels like a really satisfying. I've been watching quite a few films the last couple of weeks. Like I've been going through the 1970s Oscar-nominated Best Picture, all these films there that I've never seen, and I've been really, really enjoying them. Films like Rocky and so forth. And, look, they're wonderful. They're just great, really, really vivid and interesting.

Whereas TV felt a bit trivial after that, I have to say. Would you rather write the world's greatest ever book or write the world's greatest ever song? Now, that is not fair. That's great. That's a really great question. Why haven't I thought of that before? I could have been spending years just preparing for this moment. That's a really great question. Why haven't I thought of that before?

I could have been spending years just preparing for this moment. I think probably, I mean, in terms of a song, I think a song is more elusive in a way. I think I'm leaning towards song. Look, I said before music is the highest art. I think it's amazing. It's like magic. And I think I would rather to find a melody and to put a lyric that works and it comes together you gotta hit it from the

first bar i think i would rather write the best song i think that's like an elixir that's like seam of gold i mean a good book's sort of that all the way through, but it's, yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I've written a book too, so that sort of doesn't have the novelty. I mean, I've written songs too, but none that are related to this question. I reckon a song for sure actually now. Yeah, definitely.

And it goes something a little bit like this. That's where I start playing the man in black. The man in black, the man in black is back. Man in black, man in black and a black cat And a black cat Would you rather preach, you know, give a one-off sermon at the pulpit of the Vatican or Westminster Abbey? Westminster Abbey.

Come on. Yeah. Yeah, but, you know, that's a bit... The Vatican's like, you know, the most famous place to preach, surely. Yeah, but preaching's not really a thing in the Catholic Church. It is a little bit. It's more about the communion, so it's sort of set up for that.

The homily, they call it, it's just a little thing. It's significant, but Westminster Avenue was, yeah, I mean, it's kind of a bit more of a preaching place. I don't know. It feels more like the home of it in a way. So it would mean more to me personally. But I guess there's some more contentious stuff I could say in the Vatican that would be more likely to be reported. Would you rather have a million dollars right now in your bank account?

Yes. Or one year added to your life? You don't know when you're going to die, but whenever that time is, I'm going to add one year to it right now. That seems like a ridiculous thing to say in a way, because you'd always say a year. It's like, are you serious? Like money is, like life is more important than money.

You get you if you were to get to the end of your life and say okay for a million dollars you can have one more year most people would say i guess not not that's not quite true either those who have the money would say sure um those that that don't they still might not say sure they might say no no i'm done i'm really done. That's it. You know, give it to my kids or give it to this worthy charity that, you know, a person over here who's the million dollars will save the lives of all these people over here, you know, with vaccines and so forth.

So you start to move into ethical dimensions. So, you know, why would I spend? On the one hand, I want to say life is more important. On the other you know why would i spend on the one hand i want to say life is more important on the other hand why would i spend why would i why is time why is my life extending it so much more important than what i could do with the money if i got the money now i could do a lot with it you're waffling man i am well i'm discussing this is i'm unpacking man this is called unpacking i'm unpacking okay it's sort of unpacking and then packing and then repacking and then unpacking again and then it's a bit like the go packing the car for a holiday this sounds ridiculous but i think i'd probably go a million

dollars now it's like yeah i get rid of the mortgage fix this up be able to give to something that i've got in mind and be able to set up, I don't know, life would be a bit easier, which just seems ridiculous to say that because it sounds like I'm making money sound more important than life. But all this is predicated on, I think, I think at the end of, I think probably at the end of my life, I'd love if I got kids. Oh, I do have kids. If I have grandkids and you know, all that's there, I'd much rather have another year with them. So let me say this. If I couldn't use the money for other purposes, it purely had to be, you know, I've got the money for me or I've got the year for me, I would say the time.

Of course, absolutely. You've taken the time then, have you? Yes. Okay. Yes. All right. It didn't sound like that was where you were going to land. No, no, no, because I started thinking about what you can do with the money to save other people's lives and extend their life.

And that becomes a bit of an impossible one because, of course, I would rather shorten my life just to extend a whole life of, you know, 10 other people. Of course I would, which is what I could do with a million dollars. You know what I mean? So that sort of takes it into a different kind of question. But I think the spirit of your question is more about benefiting me, in which case I'd rather have the extra year. Would you rather be the Prime Minister of Australia or the lead singer of one of the world's great bands,

like U2-level band? I would rather be the lead singer of a great band, yes. Yeah. I think that would bring me great joy and I think the Prime Minister job would bring great frustration. Yes. Yes, I would rather. I mean, if I was prime minister, I'd just use it to be able to get good tickets to all these concerts anyway.

Like, that's the best thing. Yes. Would you rather spend a day watching a lawn bowls tournament or go to a Coldplay concert? That's a good question. I mean, I'd probably go to a Coldplay concert? That's a good question. I mean, I'd probably go to the Coldplay concert, but I don't mind watching lawn bowls. Like, I actually quite enjoy watching lawn bowls, and Dad and I watched a lot of it back in the day.

It was just on Sunday afternoon or something. So, yeah, I'd probably go to the Coldplay concert, though. Yeah. Here's a football question. Tim's favourite team is Richmond and Australian Rules Football has like an end-of-season game, the grand final, which is a huge event like the Super Bowl to decide the champion. Would you rather play for Richmond in the grand final

and have the greatest grand final of all time, kicking 13 goals, winning the Norm Smith medal, a performance that will be talked about forever, but you lose the grand final of all time, kicking 13 goals, winning the Norm Smith medal, a performance that will be talked about forever, but you lose the grand final. You'd lose the game by a few points. Or play for Richmond and win the grand final, but you're just a bit player on the interchange that just gets a few minutes of game time and touches the ball only one or two times. I would rather the latter. And I think that every player would rather the latter. Every player says they would rather the latter because that's what you have to say in a team sport.

You think they – no, they would always rather win. I think the sadness from losing the grand final isn't fixed by going home with a Norm Smith medal. No. Listen to you. Just taking it one game at a time. I mean, there is a... I'm just happy for the boys.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nah, nah, nah. Yeah, nah, nah. I'm just happy to a bit. Just did my bit. We're just focusing on the finals. It is the finals. It is.

I think, no, winning a grand final would be great and the solidarity of winning it would be great. And I think that's more important. A Brownlow would be more difficult. Maybe a player would. But even then, I think people get to the end of their season. Brownlow is the season MVP. It's a medal that goes to the MVP for the whole season.

That's right. And it's awarded the week before the grand final. So sometimes a person might win the Brownlow is the season MVP. It's a medal that goes to the MVP for the whole season. That's right. And it's awarded the week before the grand final. So sometimes a person might win the Brownlow medal and then go and play in the grand final and lose, which is, yeah. Would they rather have the individual honour or the group honour? And I still think probably the group honour because I think certainly the first time, you don't want to get through your career and having not won a premiership, not won the grand final.

But maybe after you've won one, the second time round you'd be like, well, maybe I'll take the Brown Low and sorry all the other boys. Would you rather win the FA Cup as part of a team or win Wimbledon as a tennis player? The FA Cup's not what it used to be, to be honest. So I'd definitely take Wimbledon as a tennis player? The FA Cup's not what it used to be, to be honest. So I'd definitely take Wimbledon as a tennis player. Help me here.

Is the FA Cup and the Premiership, which one's the more prestigious? Premiership is more important to win, to win the Premier League. Oh, okay. Well, then that one or Wimbledon. Is it still Wimbledon? I still think I'd take Wimbledon, yeah. I think winning Wimbledon is like just a world higher honour, regardless of the fact it's an individual sport. But do you answer this because of the honour, the way it's perceived,

or internally to your satisfaction? I guess you're a tennis player as well, so that's... Yeah, I mean, maybe I'm a bit coloured, but I think I'm answering it more like, you know, legacy, fame, things like that. The only sport where I would start it more like, you know, legacy, fame, things like that. The only sport where I would start to wave of would be cricket, which hasn't got as high a world profile, but I love the sport so much that maybe I would take cricket glory over.

A World Cup? Yeah, the cricket World Cup. Kick the winning goal in the World Cup final or win Wimbledon? Oh, winning goal in the World Cup final by a mile. Oh, really? That's way more. Right. And I would take winning the football World Cup just as a bit part player

over Wimbledon because I think that's a higher honour. And because I'd be doing it for Australia, that'd be a pretty memorable Australian winning the World Cup. Would you rather win the World Cup or win the gold, Logie? Would you rather be more intelligent or better at sport, a better athlete than you are now? That's a very good question. I do regret that I didn't really play any sport with any sort of aplomb or joy or develop skill.

You know what I mean? Like I never played cricket. I'm not sure that was a choice for you, man. Well, that's what I mean. I think, you know, some guys, I mean, I played footy up to a certain level and I was never very good at it. And I'm a bit, you know, I didn't have my glasses. And so I sort of stopped and got a part-time job. I never played cricket. I don't know why I didn't play cricket. I never, you know, I would have actually learnt the skills of cricket.

We played it in primary school and all, but there was no team. I didn't join a team. I played soccer for a bit. So I feel like I always played around sport and had fun with it, but never at any level of, I mean, we were in a soccer team together and now year 12 but it was it wasn't going anywhere near the world cup it was you know like we didn't get particularly close to the world cup so i did part of me does even though i guess i'm saying the answer is more intelligent but um but but like you have a good level of intelligence like you know you're a smart guy you've got uh you know a high prestigious job you know you you're a good writer and like like do you do you need that whereas if you got you know a 30 or 40 percent bump in your sporting ability you might

you know that might make your life happier you might go out and join the local tennis club and be a competitive player or you know start being really good at golf. Like, do you need the power up in intelligence? Maybe you should use it, you know, maybe you should apply it somewhere else. Well, in a sense, intelligence isn't really what it's about though, is it? In both of them, it's like discipline and application. But I do, I would like to be able to read New Testament Greek. I would like to have been able to figure out theological concepts, read more difficult texts, you know, know a bit more of Pi. You know, there's a few things like that. A few more digits. A few more digits. I feel like there's a bit of a lid on my, I was always a B student. It took me a while to get things. I tell you, I would swap them both

for a greater level of emotional intelligence at a younger age. I would swap them both for a greater level of emotional intelligence at a younger age. I would swap them absolutely both for that. Just being having my wits about me and a greater sense of myself and the world and what mattered in maturity at an earlier age. I feel like I'd just stumble my way into a lot of that sort of stuff. And over sporting ability or intelligence, I'd take it, which is me giving the girl, that's the Goldilocks third option.

I'm not supposed to do that, am I? Yeah. That's cheating. And that involves like, you know, going back in time as well. Ah, yes. Would you rather go back in time or go into the future? Do you mean just to go and have a peek and then come back to now or do you mean would I rather, you know?

Let me, for a year so i'm just going to go and wander around and experience experience that like marty mcfly just go and experience and have a look and then come back and get on with life yes um but you can't bump into yourself you can't go and watch brady yeah no no it's just to it's just to go and you know yeah uh i'm gonna i feel like i'm gonna have to say the future because you know, I feel like I'm going to have to say the future because, you know, one of the, you know, I can read a lot about the past and know a lot about the past and stuff. I'm very curious about the past. I'd love to go and see what it was really like, but I think I have to choose the future because it's one of the great frustrations of our mortality, isn't it, is that

we don't get to see so many things, not just on a personal level but on that grander level too. You know, where is society going? Where is humanity going? Where is Earth going? Where is the universe going? I'd love to skip forward and see a little bit of what I'm not going to get to see. Would you rather go forward 20 years or 100 years?

So further, the, you know, sort of explanation of this is within your lifetime or be, or into, you know what I mean? A few generations. Definitely not within my lifetime. That would be a huge waste of that magic gift to go, to go to something I'm going to get to see anyway. Like a month from now. Yeah. Five seconds into the future. Wow i am whoa back i go whoa here i am so no i think i think i'd go far forward because i want to know the answer to some of those really bigger questions about what happens and while i'm, I can still use Google and find out what happened

to, you know, my son and Tim and Unmade Podcast and stuff. So, you know, I can go. Basically, I just go forward to the future and just listen to all our future episodes. Get all the good ideas and come back still. Where do you think I'm getting these good ideas from then? Future episodes. That's a good idea.

I feel like I was going to have that idea in about three years from now. Well, you did. I'm the kind of guy, though, that would go back in time and would get like a sports annual and bring it back to the future feeling all chuffed and then go, don't, wrong way. I can tell you who won the 1950 premiership yeah i know it's like an eye i can i can remember getting back opening it going ah don't of course you could bring you could bring some cool stuff forward imagine going back in time

and then bringing the Titanic back and then one day just sailing the Titanic into, like, New York Harbour. Everyone's like, oh, my God, that's amazing. Surprise. It would be funny to go back. I mean, if the Titanic had not hit the iceberg, then the word Titanic would be a word for success or of nothingness. Like it wouldn't be, you know, shuffling deck chairs on the Titanic.

It'd be like, well, that'd be cool, a cruise. Yeah. It would be nothing. No one would know the word. The film Titanic would have sucked. just leonardo di caprio just strolling around the deck smoking with a chick the whole time yeah there we go there's a bit of would you rather would you rather you enjoy that you enjoy doing that oh i do i love it yeah yeah that's great can't get enough of it can't get enough of it few toughies there too especially the tom cruise you know the harrison ford hand solo a enough of it. Can't get enough of it. A few toughies there too, especially the Tom Cruise, you know, the Harrison Ford, Han Solo.

A lot of our tougher ones surrounded Harrison Ford actually. Yeah, as always. Would you rather be, if they were real, would you rather be Luke Skywalker or Han Solo? Luke has his hand cut off, which was to be painful. And straight after that he got really bad news. So that's a bad day, isn't it? It's like my hand got cut off and I found out my dad isn't quite the man

I thought he was. That's just one day. You've got the force. I reckon I'd reckon, A, well, okay, suddenly it all makes sense. I would rather be Han Solo. Firstly, you've got Chewie. You get to hang out with Chewie. He's just legend, sort of sidekick. Hanging out with him is fantastic. B, get to hang out with chewy he's just legend sort of sidekick

hanging out with him is fantastic b get to kiss princess leia man you end up i mean that's awesome luke skywalker got to do that as well remember oh they do maybe that was in his contract do you think hanging out with chewback is that great i mean i haven't seen a whole lot of evidence that chewbacker was that great company well he no i do i do it's a bit like it's not like brooklyn my dog having him around he doesn't say much but i just love having him there and scruffing his neck and stuff he's a bit like a pet in a way isn't it except he can fly a spaceship for you and yeah and he's like he's that's Yeah, and he's like a sentient individual with his own, like,

feelings and thoughts and will. He's not your pet. No, no, no, I know. I know. No, I know. Like, there's whole novels about his tribe. Is that what you'd call him? His species and so forth.

But you're just playing him down as like, well, he's just there. He doesn't do much. And I'm saying even that's great. But you said hanging out with Chewbacca was like a really positive, good thing. I mean, he might not be that good to hang out with. I don't know. You don't know that. He could be a real, you know, whingy bastard. He is a bit whingy, isn't he? He does. He sort of growls. He's violent. He has a bad temper. I don't know what he smells like. He may not smell good. He's very tall. Would you rather be shorter, taller, or your exact height you are now?

I would rather be slightly taller. Yeah. Yeah. The other night I was at a function and a man walked in and he was the tallest man I've ever seen. This is Gillan McLaughlin, the CEO of the AFL. He's got to be more than six and a half foot. He was so tall.

More as in six foot six? More than six foot six? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Much to it. You know, you think, oh, there's a tall guy, there's a tall guy in the room. The room's full of people. He was super tall. He was Chewbacca tall.

It was one of those he's a whole obviously his whole job is to sort of move around and talk to people and stuff like that so he's forever talking down to everyone you know leaning over in a funny way that tall people sort of have to do every now and then when we're sitting down somewhere we saw someone really tall my wife will go oh that guy's tall and then she'll under her breath just go sit down mate like like he's doing something wrong by being that tall and then she'll under her breath just go sit down mate like like he's doing something wrong by being that tall and walking past just being tall would you you would rather be i mean small people are compact aren't they like it's got to be handy to be small as well well yeah

depending on what you do but yeah i'd always take taller women women say tall taller men are more attractive. Would you rather be a Wookiee or an Ewok? A Wookiee, I think. I want to smell them both first, though. I'm worried that Wookiees don't smell well. I've got this idea in my head they don't smell good. I mean, Ewoks are cute, but I don't know. They've got a cool tribal life, though, and they get to swing on those cool things between their tree houses and stuff.

Yeah, but Wookiees get to do that too. Wookiees swing on ropes. We see them swinging on ropes in the Star Wars movies. So, you know, on their home planet there's a lot of rope swinging. So, I mean, it'd have to choose. Would you rather be? He gets to hang out with Harrison Ford, so I guess that's. Yeah.

It's like, would you rather stay here in this village or would you rather, like, jump in the Millennium Falcon and fly around the galaxy with Han Solo? You're like, no. Would you rather be an Ewok or whatever species Yoda is? Yes. Yes. There were two options there.

Oh, would I rather? Sorry, yes. Yes. I would rather be an Ewok. I think the Ewoks have like a really idyllic, cool, fun village life, whereas Yoda looks like the weight of the world's on his shoulders, you know. He's just, oh, man. And he's not handsome.

He's living in a – he's cute, though, but he's – I'm not saying, you know, going on a date cute, but I'm just saying he's cute though but he's he's i'm not saying you know going on a date cute but i'm just saying he's um he's living in the swamp and he's just sort of you know oh dear would you rather have as your companion for the rest of your life c-3po or r2d2 oh r2d2 yeah 3po would get on your nerves he gets on everyone's nerves you know yeah It would be handy to have him as an interpreter, though, that's for sure, when you're travelling, just strolling through Paris and knowing you've got 3PO there to speak for you.

That would be handy. In fact, if he couldn't do that, he would almost certainly have been nixed from the whole operation pretty early on. R2-D2 sort of gets... It's funny how he's got a personality, doesn't he? Like, he's sort of around and he's got attitude and does his... He's like a cat.

He just does what he wants, really. Just, I'm going over here now. It's like, why are you going over there? I'm just going over here, all right? Would you rather have, like, just to get around Adelaide and go to work and just have as your mode of transport, an X-Wing fighter or a TIE fighter? I want to jump in between and say a biker scout because I think that would be

like a biker. No, speeder bike. Speeder bike, that's it, yeah. No. An X-Wing fighter or I think a TIE fighter. I think the TIE, they make a cool noise, I reckon. That's what I like about them. Yeah, they they make a cool noise i reckon that's what i like they do make a cool noise they're pretty cool rocking up to church on a sunday morning and everyone's like oh is tim here yeah oh and then suddenly you just hear it that'd be tim i feel like they'd be pretty easy to park

too you know like they're pretty compact they're sort of like you know pretty much fit in a car space it's almost i think they're not quite but i would love a snow speeder i think they're pretty compact. They're sort of like pretty much fit in a car space almost. I think they're not quite. I would love a snow speeder. I think they're cool looking ships. Oh, yeah, they are. Like one of those snow speeders would be pretty cool. They were cool because they were kind of metal. Most of the stuff you bought as a kid were plastic,

but they were metal as the toy. So they sort of hung around a long time and ended up outside. They were cool. Yeah, very cool. Would you rather be part of the rebels or on the dark side of the force? Nah, I want to be a rebel But would you rather be just one of the other X-Wing fighters You know, just like one of the gang

Or you got to be Darth Vader I don't want to be Darth Vader You don't want to be Darth? No But he's like the boss He's just tortured in pain We wearing that awful suit all the time. Just like tortured soul. No one likes you.

What about the emperor? No. No. I don't want to be on the bad side. I don't want to be a Sith. No. Is there any person on the dark side that you would rather be? No.

Well, that's a good side. I can see you looking deep into your heart. I'm trusting my feelings. Would you rather we just keep asking Star Wars questions or end this podcast episode? I reckon if you did a poll amongst the civilians...

I think the civilians. I think the civilians are regretting that you took that extra year of life now.