The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby - Addressing Assumptions About Us

Episode Date: May 24, 2023

We asked you for your assumptions about us and we got some juicy assumptions!! "you've done it in a public space", "you came close to sex before marriage" and "Matt is really interested in kissing other women" were just three of the assumptions. Make sure to rate our podcast and leave a review if you can, it really helps us out!

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Like I'd be so happy. I don't know why. Do you regret being influencers because of the hate? The hate is horrible. It's by far the worst part of the job. It's made me really understand how media works. You could take any person on this planet and clip their life to fit whatever narrative you want.

Talking about more kids has started fights. Yeah. Actually has. Yeah, has. Especially early on. I also had like a hormone thing that was like, I have an empty womb, it must be full again. You guys got married young just to be able to have sex.

That is a loaded question. Uh. Welcome back to Unplanned. Woo. Yeah. Abby, you look really good today. Thank you. By the way.

Thank you very much. I think you're stunning. I think you should be just proud of yourself. You're so nice. I saw this thing recently, which I feel like I've always kind of accepted compliments. I've never been like, no, but I'm more so being aware of that because it's not very good to just not accept compliments like or to like be self-deprecating in response to compliments. You're right, because a lot of times when I've complimented you, you're like, no.

Like, I'll be like, you're beautiful. You'll be like, no. Yeah. I think you're getting better at accepting them, which is really good. Yeah, just say thank you. You look stunning. You look so pretty. Thank you.

And it's not arrogant to say thank you to a compliment and to accept it. Also. It's the opposite, honestly. I feel like I lucked out because, like, you take such good care of yourself. And I feel just so lucky that you value your health and value, I don't know, all those things. Like you've inspired me to go to the gym, you've inspired me to eat healthier, you've really inspired me to take my health more seriously. And I think that's so healthy to have a spouse that takes care of themselves because it just makes you want to do the same. I don't know how you enjoy going to the gym five times a week. I don't get it. I'm trying to do three and I've been kind of

sometimes doing three times a week. So I'm getting there. But I'm just like, I'm just like, wow. Because people are like literally guys, people have been commenting, being like, Abby, you look so good. What's your workout routine? And the secret is just Abby just works out a lot like she's she's very committed. And that's inspired me because I'm like, if I wanna see results in the gym, I need to work out as much as Abby.

She goes five times a week. If I wanna see results in my body, I should work out five times a week. So I've been trying to do three, but eventually I'll get to five. No, I do, do you wanna know my secrets to postpartum weight loss? What's your secrets?

I have two of them. What? One of them is consistency. Okay. And the second one is probably genetics. You have really good genetics. No, it's to do it for yourself and only for yourself. Oh yeah. For your mental health. I had never thought about going to the gym for my mental health until you kind of started talking about that and it's so true. I feel so much better. I do think that there's an like my goal was never to lose weight. My goal was never to have like a certain percentage of body fat or to get to a certain number on the scale or to be able to do a certain activity like

lift a certain amount or to have I don't know to be strong like it was that was never any it's never been any one of my goals and I don't think those goals are bad things. I feel like those can be those are really tangible and can be really productive for some people, but for me, like, I literally just want to do something that I love and I want to do it regularly. And so, and that's the only way that it's been possible. I'm not like even concerned about the number or things like that. Like I just feel super lucky. Like I, I'm missing the point though. I feel like it's really important for me postpartum to have just like one hour a day to do something for me and to release some endorphins

and just like do something that like makes me sweat and I can be proud of. And it has nothing to do with like weight loss. It has nothing to do with, you know, wanting a certain body type or physique. Yeah. And I'm very appreciative of all the compliments because of it.

I think it has, it's so multifaceted, obviously. Well, there's a rumor going around that you were doing Ozempic. Well, it wasn't even just a rumor. It was an ad on Facebook using my image. Someone created a fake ad trying to promote Ozempic using us. And did you see the ad?

No, I need to pull it up. I never got to watch the ad, but apparently it was like, my husband wanted me to lose weight No, my husband wouldn't let me it was that something about like my husband I couldn't understand why my husband wouldn't let me hang out with his friends anymore That is so horrible and it was an image of me. This is from what I understand It was an image of me pregnant and like heavier and then an image of me like more recently

I think it was like in that pajama video where you could see my body like full length and that I obviously wasn't pregnant anymore and it had like it was it was like set together to be like a before and after ozempic. I cannot believe somebody did that and how dumb are you as a company to do something like that when it's like you know like you will be like you can't just do that. Should we sue? I've thought about that, I've thought about like potentially suing, I need to look more into it. It got big enough to where people were thinking that you were actually doing something. People were commenting that and I was like no, what in the world? I don't know really anything about Ozempic. The only thing I know is that isn't it like for people with diabetes but if you take it and you don't have diabetes you just like lose weight or something?

I know it's super controversial but yeah we need to look into suing because like if it got big enough we could probably have a defamation lawsuit. Like if they if they convinced enough people that I said those horrible things and like wrongfully used our image, our brand, our likeness, and try to promote their company or whatever, there could be a lawsuit. I need to look into it. I would just hate for people to think that I did that when I didn't. Yeah. And I can't really put my finger on why, but I just feel like I don't. Yeah. And I can't really put my finger on why, but I just feel like I don't think

that I would promote a weight loss thing like that because that just is against a lot of things that I stand for. Why use someone else's name and likeness and say something false like that? Like that really bothers me. Anyway, we're getting off subject. We have your assumptions that you guys submitted

on the Unplanned Podcast Instagram. Thank you. No Matt, that's not on topic. That's on topic. Cause that was an assumption about me that I did ozempic. Oh, you're right. Assumption you did ozempic. Wrong.

Assumption denied. This is the first one. Wow. Heavy hitter to start off with. What do we got? Social media has changed the dynamics of your relationship in good and bad ways. Ooh, true.

Honestly, I think there was a big learning curve and I think more than social media, it was working with your spouse. 1000% that is true, for good and bad. Yeah. And honestly, see I was about to say it was more bad, but honestly, it's probably 50-50, the good and bad. It really is.

It like made the bad things more bad and made the good things more good. Yeah, because we got to spend so much time together. Exactly. Ultimately, like I think working for yourself is nice because you have flexibility. So you choose when you do the hard things in your day rather than like a boss telling you when to do them,

you decide yourself. So I think like getting to be our own bosses has been amazing. But then with that, when you're working with your spouse, you're telling each other what to do, which can cause a lot of conflict in your marriage. So that's been extremely hard. We've gone to therapy for that and it's been amazing.

And we've like found ways to get through that and to, you know, like I feel like our marriage is stronger than it's been in a really long time. Honestly, I feel so good about our marriage. But like- And I think a big part of that is learning when to work together and when to not work together at all. Exactly.

And the other thing I wanted to say too, is I'm reading a book right now, it's called The Now Habit. It's really, really good. And it's about being your peak self, like having peak performance in your life. Are you in your self help era? I am, I am. And I love this book, The Now Habit.

It's free on Spotify, I'm listening to it. And it's amazing because like it made me, something clicked, I was like, I haven't taken a vacation, a true vacation, in like four and a half years because like every single vacation in the past four and a half years, Abby, I have made content out of it.

Every single one. And there's been somewhere like, you know, I took a day off and I, you know, that one day I didn't do any, you know, recording or editing or anything. And again, I feel so blessed that we have this job and the flexibility, but I'm like, I should take a vacation and not work, like not edit, not record, not write. I love my work because I'm a creative and it's fun for me, but it's like, you need vacations from your job, whether you like your job or hate your job, you still should have a vacation

from that. You should take time off. And I think it just makes it's better for your relationships, it's better for your productivity. And I think that's been like honestly a point of conflict in our relationship, candidly. Like because I truly view this just as a job. While I'm extremely grateful for it, I view it just as a job. Like I don't know if I should say this. You can say this for free. I think you could say that. That's fine.

I would. That's what's funny is I would do this. And I know that so many people would that are in this field and that's sometimes why I feel a little lonely. I would do this for free. That's so funny. You're hilarious But no, I do truly treat this as a job And I think that it's healthier for me like I have a healthy relationship with social media than you do because I just but I do feel like we are at a place where We're able to have open and honest conversations about where we need boundaries with work and with social media open and honest conversations about where we need boundaries with work and with social media.

Exactly. But I will say it's still something we struggle with a lot. Yeah. And I think the second part to that is like working together on a daily basis is harder than we expected. 100%. That assumption is like. One million percent.

It's honestly triply harder than I expected. It's like the whole thing like the two cooks in the kitchen, you know? Like rather than just having one cook in the kitchen, if you got two of them, they're just gonna fight each other. And one of us is like wildly creative, you and the other is really pretty. Creative. I have other talents, but it's not creative. You're really freaking smart though. And you don't give

yourself enough credit. You are so creative. You came up with trend after trend after trend, especially in the early days of TikTok, you'd come up with trend after trend after trend, especially in the early days of TikTok, you'd come up with all these freaking creative concepts and everyone copied you. Like everyone would copy our videos and you would come up with the idea. You're so creative and you don't give yourself enough credit.

No, thank you. I feel like we could talk about that topic all day every day because it's what we talk about in our life a lot. Bingo, I feel like nobody wants to hear us talk about that, so let's shut up and talk about something else. Next one. Well, it's honestly kind of in the same vein. Oh, okay, It's social media.

You're going to quit YouTube. We kind of already have, honestly. Like we have not, we've posted like two videos this year. It's been so bad. That's not quitting because we just took a hiatus, but we're not quitting YouTube. We're evolving the channel though. And I think like the only way for it to be sustainable

for us is we can't do everything ourselves anymore. I think I should just hire people to do the editing, to do the production, to come up with the concepts of the videos, because I can't do everything ourselves anymore. I think I should just hire people to do the editing, to do the production, to come up with the concepts of the videos, because I can't transparently work 80 hours a week anymore. It's not healthy, it's not good for my wife, for my kids. And luckily I did learn that very, I did learn that quickly.

Oh my gosh, you spend so much quality time with us. I just wanna be with my kids, so I can't produce our YouTube channel. Same, I wanna be with my kids too, and I'm so much happier being with you and the kids rather than working all the time. And I think like, not that I did do that, I think they were like- Yeah, no, you've always, ever since our kids have been born, you've been really good about that. Yeah, but I think I was just, I think that's part of why I was so down Abby,

is like I saw how much opportunity we had. You know, I just, I just felt guilty. I'm like, here I am, I should be making a YouTube video a week, I should be putting out a TikTok a day. I feel so blessed that I have this opportunity to be a creative and I'm not fully taking it by the reins and doing it, but it's just not healthy to work that much as a single individual and I think that's why you see a lot of people on YouTube

and people who are creatives in general, they make a team because you can't by yourself, long term, do everything on your own. It's just not healthy for one person. Yeah. Okay. Do we have any questions that are like non-influencer related? Because I don't want to bore people with that. I feel like that's like, I like talking about that personally, but I feel like other people don't really care.

This one says you're not into PDA. We are so into PDA. I love PDA. I think we're into PDA. We used to PDA so much in front of people. I think we probably made people uncomfortable, honestly. Yeah, I feel like we still do PDA. I think we're into PDA. We used to PDA so much in front of people. It was, I think we probably made people uncomfortable, honestly. Yeah, I feel like we still do PDA. I want to PDA with you right now. You look so, that new outfit looks stunning on you.

You look so, so, so good. Yeah, I think we definitely PDA'd more, but we still PDA a lot. And you know, some people don't kiss in front of their parents. Oh no, we do, we do at all. Even when we first started dating, we kissed in front of their parents. Oh no, we do, we do it all. Even when we first started dating, we kissed in front of our parents.

We slapped each other's butts. Actually, I was talking to our brother and sister-in-law about that. My sister-in-law, Abby, she said, she got mad at Caleb. She was like, don't kiss in front of our parents. Wait, what? They didn't want to kiss in front of her parents? They still don't kiss in front of her parents,

I don't think. How do they think they made a baby? People have different relationships. No, it's not that they think that they don't kiss, but they just don't do kiss in front of her parents? They still don't kiss in front of her parents, I don't think. Why? How do they think they made a baby? People have different relationships. No, it's not that they think that they don't kiss, but they just don't do that in front of them. That is the other thing. Let's change the subject to sex now. Oh my god. Everyone does it.

It's like brushing your teeth. Why is it such like, oh, we can't talk about sex? It's like literally everyone's doing it. I understand, but first, on the flip side, you're not going to do it in front of people. There's an area of like, and for that same reason, you're not going to talk about it in front of people. There's an, there's a, I get it. There's an air of privacy around that. I just think that keeping that conversation private leads to kids getting pregnant on accident, kids making mistakes, people

having issues with consent. I'm like serious. No, that's what I'm saying. There's a middle ground there, right? Rather than just talking freely about sex and then not talking about it at all, I think there's a middle ground. I think that's what we do or hopefully we do is just talk about it in a respectful, appropriate way. I want to have an age-appropriate way to talk with our children about sex as young as possible. Age appropriate. Because I want them to not have a surprise. I don't want them to be misinformed. I don't want them to make some stupid mistake. I want them to be aware of what's going on, especially when it comes to puberty and their body going through changes. I don't want them to be in the dark. I want them to be scared. If we have a daughter who has her period starts, I don't want her to be freaking out.. I want them to be scared if we have a daughter who has it like her period starts

I don't want her to be freaking out like my body's combusting. It's breaking down, you know Puberty is a lot creepier for girls. Probably honestly. Yeah, even for guys though, too I mean you're getting hair in places that you never thought was possible same for girls This one says you sold your Airbnb or That it was a way bigger project than you thought. Oh actually yeah we have an Airbnb in Scottsdale if you guys want to go stay there leave us a good review. We'll put a link in the description.

Are you really? Yeah we should why not. Okay. There's an Instagram for it. It looks really cute the Instagram for the Airbnb is really cute. I want to stay there I want to do a staycation at our Airbnb and swim in the pool because it's a heated pool. So like all winter long when it's like- Is there a hot tub?

There isn't a hot tub, unfortunately. Heated pool though? But maybe if enough people stay at the Airbnb and leave good reviews, then we could like use the money we make from it to put a hot tub in and then more people could go. A heated pool is great. There's a lot of other outdoor things there.

Yeah, a heated pool, which is awesome. Well, we don't even have a heated pool at our own house. No, we didn't sell it. It was still in the market. It was a much bigger project. It was a way bigger project than we thought. It was like, it took up so much of my time. So that's why we have. I will say, it was about as big as I thought it was going to be. I was like, this looks like a nightmare, but you were so gung-ho. I'm like, and I trust you a lot. So I was like, let's just do it. You can look back at our YouTube channel. We had problem after problem. We redid the roof. We redid the plumbing. We redid everything inside the house. We redid all the landscaping in the front yard and the backyard. We repainted the house. We put in a pool, which ended up being a huge hassle. Yeah, I don't want

to be a flipper. Yeah, I'm not. Yeah, no, I don't like, I thought I might be like a real estate guy. I'd be like, let's go do real estate. No, not for me. Not for me at all. I'd rather make creative videos and interview cool people on our podcast. I like doing that. This one says, I assume Abby is going to homeschool her kids

slash get a nanny teacher. Ooh. Yeah. Are you gonna be the one homeschooling? Yes. Or is your because I feel like are you and your mom going to tag him because your mom had your book, your teacher, you're a certified graduated teacher and your mom's a certified graduated teacher. Yeah.

Well, my mom taught for 27 years. She got her masters. Um, I think that first of all, I'm already teaching them. You are Griffin knows his letter sounds a lot of them. That's so sweet. Yeah. We were in the car. I was like, Griffin, what does T sound like? What does T say? He says, tt, tt, tt. So, are you working on phonics? Yeah. No. So, I feel like education starts

right now, obviously, but a more formal like homeschool program will probably start as soon as like preschool so like three but we probably won't be like strategic like specific about it like or I shouldn't say specific but like more intentional about it until kindergarten and which case like I want to homeschool them. I really think homeschooling would be a good idea for our kids for multiple reasons. One, it just allows you to cater education for your kids specifically. So if your kid is really into music production, you can help them. You can pay for an online music production course and your kid can spend half of their school day learning how to edit audio to make music. Or maybe they're

into farming and they could like go be an apprentice on a farm like seriously you can I think you can cater the education specifically for your kids. Yeah. They could start their own business like it's it's there's really nothing you can't do as far as homeschooling. Well I do want to say like before we get too far in this it is such a privilege to be in the position where we can homeschool because I know there's a lot of moms out there,

dads too, that wish they could be home with their kids. So I view it as such a privilege that I have the ability to work from home or be home with the kids during the day so that I can do this. And so I just wanna make the most of that and we've even talked about having a little co-op and I'd probably buy a curriculum to go with them just because I don't write curriculum.

I need to have resources for it, but then we could have other kids come over in the neighborhood or their little friends. And then I also want our kids to be super involved so they'll have lots of activities with other involved. So they'll have like lots of activities with other little kids. So they'll have social interaction. They have a social interaction every single day

with other kids. Did you know that my music producer was homeschooled? Did I tell you that? I know a lot of people that are homeschooled. Well, I think it's cool because like he was able to spend a lot of time in his day because he was homeschooled learning how to produce music. And so yeah, we co-write the songs together

and then he produces the song so that there's like an audio file to go on the streaming platforms. And it's like, it's cool. And that's kind of, I wasn't homeschooled, but going to a private school, there were some similarities where I got to do a lot of things

that was catered to me because of the private school I went to. So I ended up making a ton of videos and that's how I learned how to edit, how to make a script, how to do all that. Cause would make videos for all my projects which is kind of how we ended up on YouTube eventually. Which yeah, I think it's really cool how with homeschooling you can tailor it specifically to your kids interests.

I will say like, I don't know, we'll probably for sure do that when they're really young, but as you know, they get in higher and higher grades, I think we'll kind of leave the decision up to them. If they want to go into school, I don't know, see how they are. I know that they would thrive. They're both very social little guys and they would love it. Griffin loves story time at the library, for instance. He's always in the very first row, not even sitting with me.

So I know he'd love it, but yeah, once I start to have an opinion on those things, we'll definitely hear them out. I don't want him to be like, you have to stay home with me, but I would love to spend as much time possible with them. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. We started therapy and it's been amazing. It's been really, really good.

Honestly, we've been way happier since starting therapy and it really was BetterHelp that got us to do it because we kept doing ads for BetterHelp and we were like, what if we actually did that? So we did, we started their couples therapy. Just like having productive conversations with like a mediator present in a way has been so good. After starting the process with BetterHelp, I'm like, why didn't we do this sooner?

It is the most user-friendly experience you could have with therapy. It's entirely online, designed to perfectly suit you and your schedule. You can also switch therapists at any time if you are not vibing with the person that you're originally set up with. Once we start therapy, like start couples therapy, I'm almost more tempted now to start individual therapy now. I'm like, this is just so easy with BetterHelp and it's very productive. Everyone could benefit from therapy. I don't care how amazing your life is. Like everyone goes through hard times and therapy is a great way to talk through those hard times.

Find your social sweet spot with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash unplanned podcast today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash unplanned podcast. to get 10% off your first month. That's better help Help.com slash unplanned podcast back the episode you both have more conflict since having kids honestly Yes, but I feel like our conflict has gone down Recently, I think there's two main reasons for a conflict going down number one I think we've gotten out of an extremely stressful time with having Very young children who are very needy and it's just, it makes stress levels in your life go up ten times.

So I think getting out of that stressful stage has made our marriage easier, transparently because life has gotten easier. And then also we started therapy, which, yeah we started online therapy and it's been really good. I think that conflict probably in general did go up since having kids. And I think that's also because communication gets harder. You're spread way thinner with little ones, especially two little ones.

You're kind of in survival mode with two under two until they go to bed and then you're exhausted. So then it's like, okay, it's harder to communicate. Like yesterday, we were so tired on date night We were at Chick-fil-a on a date because Abby and I did our first date ever at Chick-fil-a so sometimes we go to Chick-fil-a on a date because it's kind of cute to like remember the first date and we were both like Mute during the whole meal. I was trying to I was falling asleep I my sleep score was a 31% out of 100 yesterday

because I was up all night with the kids and then one kid woke up at 5 a.m. Not saying that you weren't up too with the kids because I know that you were up as well. But Abby also just gets better sleep quality than me, like her genetics for whatever reason, she can just sleep better. Both your parents struggle with sleep so I feel like.

My sleep sucks cheeks dude. I like, we'll go to bed at the same time, wake up at the same time- No, I wake up before you. Oh my gosh, you're right. So we'll go to bed at the same time, you wake up before me, and then you still get, like, two hours more sleep. Yeah, it's bad. It's insane. It's insane. It doesn't make sense.

I'm so sorry. Yeah, I would say in general, we do have more conflict, but I feel like we always have to give this disclaimer We're still happily married and yeah We I think that's what marriage is marriage is a commitment to Addressing conflict together and then finding resolutions together because you're not gonna ever have a marriage that has no conflict Didn't you just meet two moms at? Somewhere yesterday that had gotten this is a children's museum you can say that. Okay, which is really sad. Yeah, I met two moms that were the same age as,

that had boys the same age as Griffin, and they're both divorced. And here's the thing, I'm sure, I don't know what they went through. I know, so I'm not gonna make assumptions. I'm sure it was very, very, very hard. But I also wanna encourage people out there, like if you're in the thick of the newborn newborn stage if you're in the thick of like

You know being pregnant or you just had your kid or you're pregnant and you already have a kid and it's really stressful Like your marriage might be like in a really hard spot It could be like really really really hard like I'm talking harder than you ever thought was possible But just know there's hope for you. Just know that it's going to get better. And look, everyone's situation is different. So I don't want to generalize. Like if you're in an abusive situation, like please go see help. Please tell someone, please tell a friend or a family member.

Get out if there's abuse, obviously. Like you need safety for you and your kids. But when it comes to the newborn stage though, it is really challenging. And so just want to encourage you with that because it will get better and our life is so much more easy now. And I'm thankful, you know, that stage was so hard

but I'm thankful for the life that we have now. And I don't like, I don't know. Sometimes I joke and I'm like, oh, I wish I could just like skip that phase. I think deep down, I don't really mean that. Really? Yeah, like it is really hard, but I don't know, like, cause then you'd miss out'm like, oh, I wish I could just like skip that phase. I think deep down, I don't really mean that. Really? Yeah, like it is really hard, but I don't know, like, cause then you'd miss out on like, you know, that just the cute, like seeing your cute,

like three month old or your cute one month old. Watching them grow in that first year is so crazy cool. Yeah. You're not gonna have a close relationship without some conflict. Yeah. And I think that's probably one of the coolest things about marriage too is that you have committed to,

I don't know, overcome together and grow together and learn together. So I feel really thankful for that. So this one says you're glad you sleep trained Griffin. 100% yes. And I will say, for those, I know that it's controversial to sleep train And I think that's the thing is that sleep training can look like a lot of different ways like there are so many different

Routes you can take we personally get taking care of babies. It's really sad, right? Like when you hear them cry because they will cry there's no getting around that you will hear your kid cry And so I think it was really really hard on you because you were like, Matt, we can't do this. Like our kid is like crying so hard. But at least in our case with both kids, I think the like the crying happened like literally on day number one. And then boom, like they would just like,

you could watch them in the monitor. They learned to self soothe, which then allowed them to fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer, which ultimately I would argue has been way better for their health. Well, let me say something. I fought it for a long time.

I was like, no, no, no. Yeah, you did. I will not do this. It feels so wrong, so it must be wrong. And I like believed what a lot of people's opinions on it and that it was like gonna traumatize my kid. And I was like, I actually just cannot do that. And so I fought it, fought it, fought it, fought it. And then when I finally just committed and that it was like gonna traumatize my kid and I was like I actually just cannot do that and so I fought it fought it

fought it fought it and then when I finally just committed and did it the way our son Was excited to get into his crib like now he points to it. Yeah, I want to he tells us Why does he cause To get in he looks he gets so excited to get in there, his bear's in there, he says, bear's and Binky's. Oh, I love that. And he like, and I'm like,

do you wanna go night night? And he's like, yes. And he's like, starts clapping, and he starts waving bye to everybody. Like, he looks forward to getting into his crib, and he still looks to me as a source of comfort, it's not like he views me like I betrayed him or anything like that.

And so I'm just saying from my personal experience, first of all, if you don't wanna sleep train your kids, don't sleep train your kids. I don't care, do whatever you want. But if you're a mom that's like, I wanna sleep train my kids, but I feel like it's gonna make them sad or like I don't, I feel guilty to do it.

I was you and I'm telling you on the other side of things, our kid sleeps amazing Most of time Monday night was not the case but I'm like what 99.9 percent of time he sleeps amazing and We sleep better because of it and we're better parents because of it because you cannot Pour from an empty cup and we weren't sleeping and here's the other thing I knew he needed to do it because I was currently pregnant I was like there's no way I can do this with two babies.

I think we need to train our youngest now how to get his binkies in his mouth because he wakes up all the time needing a binky and we just run in, put the binky back in and then you fall back asleep. It's time to sleep train him. I do that multiple times in the night, honey. And it's like, I think that's part of the reason

why my sleep is so bad. Cause then even though I only get up for a minute to go put his binky back in, I can't fall asleep for a while after that. So I think that's part of the reason why my sleep is so crappy. And I think we just need to freaking, like he only has one binky in his crib,

so we need to just put a party of binkies in there. I'm talking like six, you know? That way you can just- I got him 12 binkies for Easter. Let's go. Really? That's so sweet of sweet of you oh wait it's going up after Easter it might be going out after Easter happy Easter everybody I hope you had a great one yeah hope you ate some good good deviled eggs is that a thing you people eat deviled eggs on Easter I feel like my grandma would do that I'm making

brisket for the first you're making brisket I'm excited I love brisket thanks I hope I can make it okay um so yeah I'm so glad I did. I'm excited. I love brisket. Thanks, babe. I hope I can make it. Okay. So yeah, I'm so glad I did it. And any parent that's gonna tell me that I'm a bad parent for doing that. It could suck cheese. I don't care. I literally do not care. Here's the other thing.

I don't, the mom shaming stuff, we don't get that much of it because we don't really show a lot of our parenting. But if we did, I'm sure, and when we did, we got a lot of mom shame. I do not care. Like I don't wanna tell you this, but I know that I'm taking care of my kids

as best as they can. So I'm like, I don't care. I used to really take that to heart because I'd see comments like, man, Matt's like a horrible husband or a horrible father. And it would wreck my mental health. I would just felt so, it was made me so sad because I felt so misunderstood. But I've decided to be like you Abby. I don't read comments anymore.

Give me a high five. I don't read comments. You guys told me you didn't read them but you actually were reading them. Well I still would read them sometimes. Okay. Like I and I okay I did read a comment yesterday that really hurt my feelings. Somebody was like it was like Matt's a narcissist and I was like that is really okay that really hurt my feelings like that. I don't think that's true. I have to ask you, are you a narcissist? I would say I'm not. Okay well then how would that person know better than you? I don't know I guess maybe they saw something in there like man. They're a more credible source? I don't know who it was. Than yourself or your wife? What about your wife that spends all day every day with you? Abby, am I a narcissist?

No! Okay. Thank you. Oh my gosh. Thank you, babe. No, yeah. So I've just joined, I've decided to be like you and not read comments because I realized like, okay, people-

I read some. People that are like legit, like legit famous people, like I'm talking about like Kim Kardashian, she's just not going to sit there and like read comments about herself all day. Are you kidding me? Is she going to waste her time doing that? No, she doesn't care. She doesn't care. She knows her worth She knows that she's valuable and just to give a frick about what like, you know user 87231 said about her appearance that day or whatever

Well, here's the thing I felt bad for not reading them because of all the people that were posting nice things and like supporting me I'm super thankful to them. so then I'll look at those. If I have time that day, I'll look through and I will heart them or respond to them. Or sometimes I just read them and I just feel grateful and there's probably no way that person knows that they made my day special. I probably should acknowledge those more,

but it's also just not worth it because then they won't be able to see me as much because I'll be sad and I won't want to make more content. So yeah. Next assumption is Griffin wears the pants in the family now. Honestly, honestly he does. Yeah. And he's got, he's not even two years old yet, but he's in like the terrible two's

phase where he will throw tantrums. He threw a massive tantrum yesterday. Yeah. And like, I think it's because he realized that tantrums. He threw a massive tantrum yesterday. Yeah. And like, I think it's because he realized that he has choice. So it's funny. This is really funny. He'll go, no. And he'll smile because he's literally he wants to exercise that he's an individual and he can say no to things. So like, Griff, do you want to ride your bike? And you'll be like, no, because he wants to see my reaction because he obviously

wants to ride his bike. Like everybody knows he loves riding his little his little bike, right? But I just think that's hilarious that he he's aware of his ability to choose. And I love that for him. Yeah. Honestly, both the boys are daddy's boys. Actually, I'm going to say they're mama's boys. Griffin is a mama's boy. It was really sweet when you were gone on a brand trip. I got to spend some amazing like one on one time with Griffin just like nonstop because usually I spend 7am till 8am with them. You don't have to tell them your

schedule. I get to spend a lot of quality time with them. But yeah, anyway, I love my boys but they've definitely, they're mama's boys for sure. He prefers you, which can suck sometimes, honestly. Hurts my feelings. But hey, eventually, okay, I don't want to do, I don't want to play that game. I love that he loves you. Yeah, I love when he goes through phases too. Yeah, I think when he's older he's gonna go through the stage of wanting to just be with me all the time. Because that's how I was when I was a little kid. I wanted my mama and when I got older I wanted my dad. Don't tell me that. I'm just kidding. I assume my dad don't tell me that I'm just kidding I assume

you guys don't show affection around your kids it's actually the opposite so opposite we like practically make out whatever no I'm just kidding we kissed we don't we kissed in front of them though I think it's good for them to see that it is they beam they smile so big when we kiss in front of them. Yeah, we say we love each other. I'm gonna say this right now, I think it's good to PDA in front of your kids. I think you're right, I think your kids love to see you together. And so we'll kiss, we'll go, I kiss him, and then Griffin wants to kiss us,

and then we hug, and then he wants to hug with us, and Augie is the same, but he obviously can't participate as much, but bring him in hug and kiss him yeah and I don't know I just want our kids to know honestly I felt the safest in my house when my parents were like cuddling and like loving each other well like so yeah I think it's good you guys got married young just to be able to have sex wow that is a loaded question just to be able to have sex? Wow, that is a loaded question. Yeah, yeah, kind of honestly. Yeah, honestly, which you know what? Wait, wait, wait, not just to be able to. Like we really cared about each other and wanted to like commit to one another.

But I will say that was like one of the major differences. Do you know that we didn't live together? I think my opinion on like getting married young has changed. But then I go back and forth and here's why. Oh gosh. Okay, like getting married young, like I love you and I care about you and I'm so committed to you.

But like that was like a really big deal that we did that. Like we were very young when we got married and my pre-frontal cortex was not fully developed. Either was yours, either was yours. So like our decision making ability as humans was not fully developed, either was yours, either was yours. So like our decision making ability as humans was not fully developed at that time, which I think can be dangerous because I think if you make a decision

without having your brain fully developed, I think that can be freaky, especially, and look, people get married young and get married in like two months all the time and they live happily ever after and they never divorce and they have a perfect marriage. You know, like you hear about those stories all the time, but the reality- And people also wait a long time and have their careers and do everything quote unquote right and

it doesn't work out. That actually happens a lot of the time. So you see both. You see people that got married for all the wrong reasons and it works and people that get married for all the right reasons and it fails. But that being said, I think maybe waiting till you're a bit older is a better decision. And I think this does get into like, you know, religious reasons of like waiting till marriage and stuff like that, which we don't need to go into right now. But I don't know, I just think like with our kids, I don't want them to rush into a decision. If it's just it's a big, it's a really freaking big decision. Honestly, It really is. So, so are you saying you regret marrying me? Not at all.

I'm so happy that I'm married to you. Like, I think I got lucky, but I just, I don't know. It's made me like rethink things, especially like for us, we had dated long enough that our infatuation had faded, but people that are like together for a couple months and then they get married, they're fully infatuated. They have no effing clue what they're getting into. That is so scary. Like you're, you're fully infatuated. They have no effing clue what they're getting into. That is so scary. Like you're basically making a decision on drugs.

It's like you started drinking and you're like picking out who you're gonna marry while you're drunk, you know? Cause your infatuation is so high. You're not logically thinking through everything. And you're young and you haven't lived a lot of life. You don't understand what you, you don't even know yourself yet. Like you're still figuring out who you are.

And it's been cool that like being married, we've gotten to figure out who we are together. And it's been, it's been wonderful. It's been lovely, but it's also been really hard too. Like we've, I think we've been fortunate that it's been, that it's worked out, but I, I don't know. I, yeah, it's a loaded question. I will say like, I think even when we were 20 and married,

like we would have said that it's not for everyone. Yeah, yeah. And I think that we were, not to just pat ourselves on the back, but we were more mature than a lot of people our age. We were, we were. And so I think it wasn't the same ball game, I guess, for us as compared to other people.

And also what we wanted out of life wasn't what other people want out of life. So for me, I guess, like for us, as compared to like other people, like we went also what we wanted out of life wasn't what other people want out of life. So for me, I'm like, I think young marriage was a great thing and I wouldn't have chosen anything differently. But I totally, of course, understand the opposite side of things. Well, okay. And this, this is like another thing too. If you're married, you it's just a fact, you have more sex than people that are not married.

So like, I don't know, I was like, we literally talked about that yesterday. We're like, it's just a fact you have more sex than people that are not married. So like, I don't know, I was, like we literally talked about that yesterday. We were like, it's kind of nice. Like we both have relatively high libidos. So I think it's like, it's kind of a great thing. If you're married, you can just freaking send it all the time, you know, it's awesome. It's great.

But what was the other thing? Oh, okay, this is what I wanted to say though. I think getting married young though forced us to grow up quickly. It forced us to make more mature decisions. And I ultimately think it set us up for like some financial success. We both worked very hard throughout college.

We both saved every penny. We were very tight with our money. We built up a nest egg so that when we lost our jobs during COVID, we were able to pursue a dream of doing social media as a job because we didn't have to scramble and go work at McDonald's to pay the bills. We played it smart and I think getting married young led us to do that because when I decided to marry you, I started reading book after book about how money works, how to manage our finances, how to set ourselves up for financial success, because I did not want to be relying on our

parents to pay our bills. Nor would they have let us. I don't think our parents have been like, if you want to get married, you're freaking, you're doing everything yourself. And they did do that. Yeah. Which is as they should. I think that's totally valid. So I guess like I say all that, but then I'm like, I think getting married young. Now you're talking yourself into thinking. And so that's why I'm back and forth.

No, I've always had that opinion that it's right for some people and it's not right for other people, but I always personally thought it was right for us. And so, I don't know. And we have a good life. Like I'm very thankful for this life. Like I- We have an amazing life.

And I think getting married young probably played, honestly a large part in that. I know. So I think it was great. Like while everybody was partying and drinking and sleeping around and and again if you want to live that lifestyle like go ahead like if you want to drink and party and sleep around like don't hurt people all the power to as long as you're not hurting people as long as it's you can do literally like it's your life like you you make the decision you want with your life. So you just kind of contradicted everything. I really did. That's why that's why it's like it's a complex complex. It's a loaded question. This one kind of builds on that, but it says you financially weren't ready to get married.

Oh, no, we were. That's the thing. Like we were financially ready, even though we did not make hardly any money. Like we just really, really evaluated our needs versus our wants. And I remember like budgeting, we first of all never went out to eat and we budgeted less than a hundred dollars a week for our groceries. You spent 75 bucks a week on groceries.

Yes. We would shop at Aldi. I still love Aldi. I love that we still shop at Aldi cause I just love that I know I'm getting the best price at Aldi. This should be an Aldi ad. Can we get Aldi? Aldi is incredible. We still shop at Aldi. Can you please sponsor our podcast? I love that we still shop at Aldi because I just love that I know I'm getting the best price at Aldi. This should be an Aldi ad. Aldi is incredible. We still shop at Aldi.

Can you please sponsor our podcast? I love Aldi. Every single week. Every single week I shop at Aldi. And Walmart. I shop at Walmart. If I need food, I'm going to Walmart because they got Aldi is the cheapest and then Walmart is next.

So I love Walmart. I specifically remember certain weeks if I was adding up what was in our cart, I was like, I'm pretty sure I have some wiggle room because I have some frozen meat. So I don't have to buy meat for one meal this week. I would get like those Clancy's pretzels. And that was like our snack then. That's so sweet.

We didn't even buy snacks. Like we just bought meals to like. Remember how we would get the $5 champagne at Walmart and we would like have it. You would get that. I'd be like, Matt, that's not on a budget. I was like I'm so bougie like I'm getting the five dollar champagne. I thought it was so extra like to spend five bucks. Yeah. All that to say we were financially in a place where we could more than meet our needs at the time. We were we were living very simply we were frugal. And we had savings. What's cool is you can go back on our YouTube channel and see our first apartment together, it was so cute.

Yeah. And I love that place. I just- I love that place so much. What was I gonna say? Oh, we've repeated this a million times, but yeah, we lived in low income housing because we weren't looking for that specifically,

but then we realized that we made so- We found a nice apartment and they were like, oh dang, we can't live there because it's low income. And then we're like looking for that specifically, but then we realized that we were, we made so- We found a nice apartment and they were like, oh dang, we can't live there because it's low income. And then we're like, wait a minute, we are low income. And then we applied, God proved, and lived there, and it was great. You had to make less than $30,000 a year, combined, married jointly or whatever,

and together working part-time in college, we didn't make more than 30 grand in a year. We actually, I think our tax return from- It's 12 grand. I think it was 12, just shy of $12,000. Granted, we were living in Missouri where things were a lot more affordable. That was 2019, I think is when.

Yeah, so it's for 2019. So anyway, kind of crazy, dude. We have so many stories from that apartment building. Thank you so much to Haya for sponsoring today's episode. Our oldest is only a few months away from being two. So it's time to start thinking about what kinds of vitamins he should be taking. And if I know that kid, I know that he likes a good surprise. That is right. You can give him his vitamins and he'll think it's like dessert

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they need to grow into healthy adults. Back to the episode. Matt is getting sick of his in-laws at the house. Actually, actually quite the opposite, you guys. of his in-laws at the house. Actually, quite the opposite you guys. Having our in-laws here has been great. It's been great for them, for us, for the kids. It's just been, I really, I'm a fan of blended family. Is that what it's called, blended family?

Or multi-generational family? Yeah, I mean that's what it is. What's it called, yeah. Well not blended family, that's like, I'm pretty sure when people have like- People have adoptions? No, no, no, I think it's like, say we got divorced and then like I moved in with the kids

to somebody else's house that has kids. Got it. No, it's great. And we're actually looking at, funny enough, we're looking at getting a studio space for our podcast so that this room that we're in right now can just be only for Abby's parents because we love them and we want them to,

like all of our podcast gear, we have like cameras and mics and lights that are just like sitting in here all the time. And I rather have a studio so that they can have- It's more comfortable for them in here. More comfortability in our house and they can like, you know, play games in here and stuff. We like eat dinner with them a lot of nights out of the week.

And I just like always have someone talk to you. My mom's actually just like one of my closest friends and it's just nice to always have people there. Like my dad says goodbye to me every morning when I go to the gym at 6 a.m. And like, it's just, and when I come home, like there, it's just, I love having a full house. I love having a lot of people around.

I just like love having an open door to anyone and everyone. So I love having a lot of people around. I just like love having an open door to anyone and everyone. So I love having them here. We're not supposed to live this life alone. You want to live it with friends and family. Exactly. It's fun to have people over. We always have my sister-in-law and my brother-in-law over to watch like the bachelor, the bachelors on

and we'll have like, yeah, dinner together. And then we'll have like, your grandparents are always visiting. We just had your, both your grandmas honestly visited in the last month. So it's kind of fun. Every single room in our house is filled. Always.

It's wonderful. I love that. I love it. You never broke the law. I think you've had some speeding tickets recently. Yeah, actually today. You've had two. You've had two. Wait, you had a third one today? No, no, no.

But today there was a motorcycle cop literally just aiming it at everyone driving. And I'm like so scared of them now. I'm sorry. Motorcycle cops are the worst because apparently all they do is just... He was literally sitting there just aiming it at anybody in this construction zone where there was already a different speed limit than the posted one. They had changed it because of the construction. I was like, this seems like a trap, but. I hate that, dude.

Let's talk about your ticket for a second, because I think it's ridiculous. It's no, no, it's not ridiculous, because I was speeding. But Abby, in Arizona, everyone drives like 25 over. So everyone's driving 25 over. If you're driving slower than everyone else on the road, that is a hazard.

That is not safe. If you're driving super slow and everyone's going 10 miles over what you're going, like you're more likely to get in an accident. And so you were just keeping pace with all the other cars around you. I wasn't even aware of the speed I was going because I'm just like, oh, I'm blending in here. And was it 17 over? What was it? Yeah. So then you get a ticket for 17 over while everyone is going like 25 over. Yeah. Which is so dumb. Yeah. So dumb. But that's just Arizona. Cause what it was a 50, but everybody was going 70 and then you were

going like 60 something. Yeah. Maybe it was a 45, but when he pulled me over, he said, no, no, it was a, I think it was a 45, but he's like, are you aware that you were going whatever speed I was going in a 35? And I said, I was like, what in the world, what? I didn't know it was 35. And I was like, man, I really was speeding. But then even on my ticket, it said 45. So I think he pulled me over thinking that the speed limit was less than it was.

Yeah. Because he told me 35, but it was 45. But then he still got me. Were you hurt by my song? Still not enough. Oh my gosh. No, no, no, no. That pisses me off, honestly.

Like, that song was not about me. Yeah. It didn't have anything to do with me. And also, the thinking behind that is just so stupid to me. Like, Matt is struggling with his mental health, and so he shouldn't tell me that because it might make me sad. What in the world is a marriage for? We hold each other and carry each other through our burdens and it's not my job to make you feel better. But what in the world is a marriage if you can't tell me how you're feeling? I mean, that's just so dumb and honestly just shows you the lack of the people commenting that are not married

They're not married. That just that's all it tells me I was really hurt by the comments on those videos that I posted to promote the song But I think what I quickly realized I didn't even read that It was just everybody like basically, I mean, it's okay like people caring about you But it was basically completely ignoring like me opening up about this like really vulnerable part of my life. No it's not okay. Or I was depressed. Because here's the thing is if you are someone that loves and like is for me, then you are for my husband. Yeah. Point blank period.

Like that is just because you're a good man. If you're a bad guy it'd be something different, but like if you support me then you support Matt. That's just how it goes. Yeah. Like that is just because you're a good man. If you're a bad guy, it'd be something different. But like if you support me, then you support Matt. That's just how it goes. Like if you don't, then you're not really for me. I think what it really taught me though is like it just taught me so much about our culture and how our culture views men and how men are expected to just bottle up all their emotions and their feelings and not talk about them. And I said this in a video that I posted, but there's a reason that men take their life four times more than women do I Think there's no question to be clear. That's not something you've struggled with. No just as far as like depression. I've never struggled with depression It really was brought on by this job. It's really been brought on by

Reading negative comments reading people's opinion about myself feeling so so misunderstood. And I think feeling misunderstood is just, it's horrible. It feels horrible when you feel like somebody has this fake idea of who you are in their brain. It probably messes with your own self-identity too. Yeah, it really did, honestly. And so like, that's why, I mean, a big part of why I wrote that song was because there's a lot that goes into it. I could talk, I could, I could talk for two hours about why I wrote that song, but one for two hours about why I wrote that song, but one of the pieces of why I wrote that song was reading negative comments about me that really messed me up. And something about me is I just like to know, I like to know things.

I'm very curious. So if I ever see someone made a mean video about me or commented something mean about me, then I go on this rabbit hole, right? Where then I go searching for all that mean stuff. So it's like, I'm searching for the YouTube video or the TikToks or whatever hate videos that were made about me. And then I spend like hours of my time watching these videos, which then F my mental health up really bad. So I just, I've made the promise to myself that I'm not going to do that anymore because people, you know, people's view or opinion or, you know, false whatever about me does

not define me. And so I think like, so yeah, a lot of that was right. Because I've never struggled with depression or had those thoughts until doing this job, which is crazy. And I thought it's just like, don't read the freaking comments like how are like people are like, they're making up lies about you. It's so stupid. Did you ever hear about that?

What? There's some famous person, I can't remember it, maybe he's a rapper or something, but like that tweeted this isn't true but it is kind of funny. Why is it funny? He's like, how the hell are you getting sireboiled? Just turn off your computer. Dude, I wish it was that easy. That's so funny though. No, I agree. It's not true, but also it's kind of true in a way. Well, you know what? You know that's why Taylor Swift took like multiple years. I think she took two years off of music after she got in that big controversy with like

Kanye West and stuff. I watched the documentary. Honestly, I was really inspired. I can see why people love Taylor Swift. I'm honestly a Swiftie now. Like I love her music. I love her as a person because you can just, I loved how the documentary humanized her and you could just see It's on Netflix, but you just saw how much hate she was getting how misunderstood she was and I could relate

So much now what I went through was like 1% of what when she went through people know who I am But I'm not like I'm not famous like Taylor Swift That's not like not not even close like she is the most famous person on this planet Taylor Swift. That's not even close. She is the most famous person on this planet. But I could relate so much. And so it was almost encouraging to see how she was able to come back from that. Because I'm like, okay, if Taylor Swift can have 40,000 people at a Kanye West concert chanting F Taylor Swift, I can come back from seeing these really mean videos and really mean comments that wreck me, that screw up my mental health so bad. I was like, I can come back from this.

I can rise above. So anyway, thank you, by the way, for just your support with my music. Like yesterday, when you were telling me how you thought it was cool that my songs were able to hit a million streams on Spotify, that's meant a lot. You just being like, hey, congrats on your streams getting close to a million. It really meant so much to me. Yeah, I feel like I don't tell you enough how proud I am of like you and for putting yourself out there.

It's not easy and it hasn't been easy for you yet. You keep going and that is like an amazing inspiration to me and I can't say that I would do the same. It's been really hard. Like honestly, it's been really transparently like there's been a lot of times I've wanted to quit because it's just, you know, people are like, Matt, you're a dad, go be a dad, go be a father, stop trying to make music. Completely.

Like, literally just doesn't make any sense, like, when you think about it, like, oh, like, you're a dad, you need to quit your job, just like, you can't, and you also can't do anything for yourself. Why are you, you're a dad, why are you playing basketball? That makes no sense. Like, I can understand how someone who doesn't know me could see me through this lens of, like, oh, Matt is a dad on TikTok. So me being, me doing something else in their brain, they're like, oh, he's abandoned his role as a father now.

He's, he's neglecting his children to go make music. That's how they're viewing it because they think that they're seeing my whole life in video form, if that makes sense. So I think that's why they're making that mistake. But you should think that they also know that they live their own life so they should know that other people are just doing the exact same like our life is just... Yeah, I think they lack the intelligence to think critically about what's actually going on. And so, I don't know, but that's just why I shouldn't

read comments anymore and that's why I've decided not to. Well, this is a long... we don't need to harp on hate, but this assumption says you regret being influencers because of the hate. Oh yeah um you know it's the hate is horrible it's by far the worst part of the job like ever seeing mean things about you it's it's so so horrible your opinion on this might be different than mine i think for myself i love creating so much that i think it's worth it i think like something that i still need to do, we've started marriage therapy, but I think I need to start therapy just for myself.

Just because I think it'd be helpful to like talk to somebody, just to talk about how I feel and think and to talk about the nature of the job. Because I think it can really mess with you. And it has really messed with me in the past. So I think therapy is something that I need to do. But yeah, for me, it's as horrible as that is,

I love creating so much that I don't think I could ever quit. What about you? Would you quit? Would I quit? Yeah. Social media? Do you regret it at all? Sometimes, yeah. I mean, I don't know. Not all the time, I think in general, no,

but sometimes, yeah. For me, it's kind of like, you talk to somebody who is a professional skydiver and it's like, you know you could like die skydiving, right? And even skydivers, you'd think like they're not afraid of death, but like they are, they don't wanna die either, but they love the joy of jumping out of a plane

and that thrill that they get, that it's worth the risk of like potentially dying. And for me, I guess it's like the same way, like even though getting hate is so horrible, getting canceled is so horrible, the joy of creating is so much fun that I can't see myself doing anything else. To elaborate on, to build off of what you're saying,

you're saying the cost is worth the reward. But for me, the reward I never wanted. Oh, yeah. So then sometimes the cost, I'm like, why? Like, I didn't want this reward. Yeah. But maybe I have a different reward and that's what I want and that is, like, my freedom, my time with my kids, and, like, all these other things. So, most of the time, no, but sometimes yes. Let's maybe realize too, Abby. What? It's like having people misunderstand you and having people make hate videos or whatever. It's made me really understand how media works. And I truly think that we probably misunderstand

so many people. Oh. Like so- I think that all the time. I bet you we have, there's probably people that people hate that are actually amazing, wonderful people. And there's probably people that people love that are actually terrible, awful people. Oh, I'm sure. Because some people are just really good at PR and others are not. I'm not a PR expert, okay?

I am like the furthest thing from it. I am not good at PR. You're just yourself. And yeah, I've done, I've made so many dumb mistakes not a PR guy but like I've just realized though that we just view this like a Lot of the stuff that we have gotten though or like a lot of stuff that I have gotten have been through like clips or like Short short videos you can clip mother Teresa to make mother Teresa look like the villain and you could clip Hitler to look like a saint seriously

You could take any person on this planet and clip their life to make them look, to fit whatever narrative you want. And that's how, I think that truly is what happens with the media, it's crazy. I think there's a Malcolm X, Malcolm X I'm pretty sure has a quote about how the media can make the innocent look guilty

and the guilty innocent. And I truly 100% believe that. Oh, I know that's a fact. When I first read that I was like, oh, that's interesting. But like now I 1 million thousand percent believe that. Yeah, for sure. And I do think that having done this career, it kind of makes me, I've become a little bit more jaded.

Well, you just don't believe everything that you hear. I hope that people have the intelligence to like investigate everything that they're told. Like don't just take it for face value. Don't accept everything that you're told. Like you should investigate and come up with your own opinion. Like don't even trust. It's just so hard to do.

Yeah, and it's hard because when people hear things from another person, they just accept that it's fact. You know, someone that's a bad person, that got really bad PR, that actually is a terrible, horrible person. Who? What? I feel comfortable saying this. Ruby Franke. Oh gosh. Someone that's a bad person that got really bad PR that actually is a terrible, horrible person. Who, what? I feel comfortable saying this. Ruby Franke.

Oh gosh. And it's proven in court, Matt, she pled guilty. So it's like, it's not just talk, it's not just gossip. I'll be honest, I haven't looked into that literally at all. I know nothing, so enlighten me what happened. She literally tortured her own children. That's so effed up. Tortured them.

And then here's the thing, she was like, I'll be honest, I can't believe, like, I can't believe someone could actually do that to their kid. No, my brain could not even go there. Thank goodness. I just listened to the Dateline, the audio, and I didn't watch it. Oh, to see the visuals. She put her kids in handcuffs. I can't even talk. I don't even know if you should even say it, but the things that she did to her children, honestly, is heinous to me. It's not even heinous. I don't understand how this happens. Yeah. And so it's just like, yeah, she, and the fact that she was a YouTuber too, I am sorry, I got off track, but she's been in really bad media and she deserves it. So sometimes if the shoe fits, the media does absolutely nail it.

Yeah. And she's horrible, horrible person. Gosh. I don't want her to ever get out of jail. Yeah, that's a con. We could have a whole podcast about that. Jail, rot in jail. That's what I'm saying.

Well, that's something about you, though. You don't support the death penalty. Do you still stand by that? Like you see how horrible some people can No. Do you still stand by that? Like you see how horrible some people can be. Do you still stand by not supporting the death penalty? I say rot in jail. I agree because the death penalty is actually more expensive for taxpayers.

We spend more money. I might have been talking about the absolutely horrible thing that happened to that baby. Rot in jail. What? Rot in jail. Never see the light of day. A baby? Yeah, I don't want to talk about it. We gotta get this lighter the fact that okay. Yeah move on move on other case literally ruined yesterday for me

Okay, let's have a happy conversation people can hurt children makes me know that this world is so f'd up Let's have a happy conversation. This one says what do we got you two have a gentle parenting style? Slash having two kids is easier than you thought. Those are kind of two different things So let's do the first one. You have a gentle parenting style. You know what gentle parenting is? What does that mean? It's a parenting style. I don't understand.

I don't know what any of the parenting styles are. Okay, so I guess you should know that if Matt doesn't know what that is, then we don't have a gentle parenting style. Gentle parenting, I don't really know about it. Is that like the choice of it's like, that's not one of your choices? Is that like what that is?

I don't know. Okay. We don't have a gentle parenting style I think we have yet like our kids are so young We're basically just keeping them alive I think we're getting to the point where we need to have more of a parenting style because for Griffin Griffin now is being more Vocal and communicating to us. Yes, I think it's good to have Obviously age-appropriate rules, but the three basic rules that he's not violating them

I'm not gonna intervene is like he can't hurt himself, he can't hurt others, and he must be respectful. And if he's not violating one of those three, I'm pretty much just like let him roam free and make his own decisions. I love that about you. I love that you are team, let our kids do what they want to do. Because I love just like helping their creativity flourish. I want them to have the biggest imagination.

I want them to be able to think and dream of anything they possibly could imagine. And I want to support them in whatever thing they want to do. If they want to ride horses, I want them to ride horses. If they want to play hockey, I want them to do that. If they want to paint portraits of Mona Lisa, I don't care. Something I don't ever step in for is messes. And I'm sure you've noticed like if he's making a mess I do not care. I think that that's part of learning and exploration. Yeah, you let your kids rub mac and cheese in their hair. I don't know. I feel like I have like a kind of like hands-off parenting style, but not in a like

passive way like I'm Involved like with whatever my kids are doing I just kind of like let them take the lead and then unless they're hurting themselves or hurting others or being disrespectful, then I step in. You're a really, really incredible mother. Thank you. You are. You're an incredible mom. I really need that. You're an amazing dad. You're a really, really, really good dad and a lot of people don't see, obviously, you as a dad and I get to witness that like so intimately. Thanks. And you're just all heart with our children like it's so cool. It's been special just to- You're also just so passionate about fatherhood that I just think a lot of people would be

surprised by like- That's really sweet. You're really good and really passionate and you're just very natural to it. Thanks. I love being a dad. It's so much freaking fun. It's the best. Were you gonna say something interrupt me? No, you're good. Okay, this one says Abby isn't happy with how she looks postpartum, even though she looks like a goddess now.

You're a babe. Okay. You look stunning. How do you feel though? I feel very, here's the thing. I am happy with, I'm happy with how I look. Good. I'm so proud of you.

I feel like a lot of times you're not, like you look like a smoke show of a woman and you're like unhappy with something, at least how that's how it used to be. No, no, I think like I said, I'm allowed to miss my pre-pregnancy body and that doesn't have to be a negative thing. Oh, you look pretty freaking awesome. I do miss my pre-pregnancy body. If I could snap my fingers and be what I looked like before I was pregnant, I would. But I'm not self-deprecating. And here's the thing, what I've learned through this is that it's never been about how I look. I don't care how I look really. Like I'm gonna work out because I do want to

have a healthy body and I do do my makeup because I think it's fun and creative and I feel more confident with it. All these things but postpartum has taught me that it's not about what I look like. Isn't that so freeing to just like view yourself with value despite how you look? Isn't that like just such a freeing thing? For sure.

Because like I feel that like with buzzing my hair off. I feel that like transparently I need to go to the barber and get this cleaned up because it's like it's patchy. Okay, like there's parts for the hair does not look very good. And I would have never, in the past, I would have never like gone around in public like this or, you know, I don't know, just like be seen. Like if my hair looked this not good, I would have been like, I'm wearing a hat for sure. I'm losing my hair.

You can see, I have like scalp showing, okay? Like it's, I've got a receding hairline. Like it's just, it is what it is. I personally would love to have more hair. So I ordered some products to help with my hair. I ordered a freaking Rogaine, which is like a- Did you actually? I got it prescribed.

Yeah, I did like this online assessment and I got it, Rogaine. It's coming in the mail. But like, I know that I have value and I don't give a frick. Like it feels so good to just know that you're valuable despite how you look. Cause I used to, it used to be backwards for me. In my head, I didn't view anybody else like this,

by the way. I viewed everybody as valuable despite how they looked or whatever. Cause it's just like, we're all humans. But for myself, it was different. For myself, I thought that I had to look a certain way to be worthy of value. I had to like act a certain way.

And now I just, I recognize my innate value and it just feels so much better. And I had to act a certain way. And now I recognize my innate value and it just feels so much better and I'm glad that you have that. Like, of course I still care about what I look like, but it's just not important. You are so hot. You're so nice. Oh, this one says having two kids is easier than you thought.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, actually, yeah. Because you've already had the life altering experience of living your life completely selflessly to keep another human alive, healthy, happy. And so you've already just completely shifted into parent mode that for us at least, like having a second one, it was such an easier transition because it's like, oh, know about naps and feeding and sleep like it just got a lot easier. You're so right. I think we are expert parents now we get how it works. No, no, no, no. No seriously like we know how this works. We get it. We understand it before we had no clue. So I think it gives me the confidence

that I need for another kid like if that's something that we decide to do you know. I think it gives me the confidence that I need for another kid, like if that's something that we decide to do, you know? I think what helped having two kids is we had appropriate expectations. Yeah. Whereas like going into the beginning, we were like so blissful, like you can't know until you know. So, I'm not saying we did anything different. I'm not trying to tell anyone. You just can't know until you experience it. And now then we had accurate expectations

for the second time around, I think. This one says your relationship is far better now and intimacy is a lot better after the newborn stage passed. One million thousand percent yes. It's been so good. No one's having the best intimate time of their lives. No one's having good sex while they're two months postpartum. Two months postpartum.

That is not. No, some people might, I don't know. I kinda doubt it. How? I guess you could be finding other methods, but like you're not actually doing it if you're two months postpartum. Well, I know you could.

Yeah, six weeks. It's not enjoyable. Not enjoyable for anybody. It was bad. It's painful. I mean, for the woman, it's just, it's a hard adjustment period. It was a hard adjustment period.

I feel where I- It's mostly the sleep deprivation and the hormone change and everything. I was even thinking about sex. I was so tired. I was like, oh sex? What even is that? I'm so exhausted right now. I have no idea what even that is. I was so tired. Yeah. I was so, so tired. This one says y'all are secretly pregnant with baby number three. Oh, dude. Wait, how crazy would that be? How crazy would that be if that actually was the case? That would be... Why would I right now, like if you were like I'm pregnant, I would cry. Like I would be so happy. I don't know why.

Wait, you would? Yeah, I don't know why. So sweet. Why are you tearing up? I love you. I don't know. I love you. I love you. I love you too. We're not pregnant and we tell ourselves every single day we're not having this conversation until later about baby number three and then we still talk about it every single day. So, yeah. I don't know, I'm gonna leave this one up to Matt because I think I've made it clear that I would love, love, love to have another baby, but also I feel like, okay,

I'm gonna be honest about something. Before we had our first child, my desire to have a baby was, it was intense, it was insane. It was like a primal thing. Like it was in my bones. Like I, I need to have a child. Like it was like a, it was like a crazy thing. Like I will say, really really really needed to and so now I am a mother and I am so I feel like a part like the fun It's like, you know my my identity if my identity was a puzzle. It's like I'd found the piece right in the middle Yeah that I Like completed my puzzle of my identity.

It's here and I could cry. I'm so happy to be a mom. And so it's like, yes, my pieces are all here. But, and I love my boys so dearly and I treasure every moment with them. But I would be lying if I told you that I didn't think there was another member of our family, at least one, that we haven't met yet. You're so beautiful.

Thank you. So all that to say, I'd love to have another child, but I am totally, I am 100% content with our family, but I do think there's another member of our family at least we haven't met. Why do I feel so encouraged right now? Like, why do I feel like, let's just go make a child? You know, like, why do I actually feel that way? Let's not do that. And I feel so, and now. Like, why do I feel like, let's just go make a child. You know, like, why do I actually feel that way?

And I feel so, and I don't, okay. And I want to have a disclaimer here because like, obviously with marriage, you got, like, you got the highs and lows, right? I feel like we're on a, I feel like this truly is a high. Everything is so like our marriage, it feels like we're in a movie. It feels like it's perfection, right?

But with anything in life, there's highs and lows. So I feel like we're on the high, but I don't know. I just want to recognize like being a dad has been the most incredible thing. And I love my kids more than I ever thought was possible. They are part of my heart. Like my heart is with them. And I just didn't, I didn't know that type of love

until becoming a dad. And like you, part of me was missing before having kids. I just didn't know it. You knew it. You knew that you had a piece of your puzzle missing. Yeah, because the piece was right in the middle and I was like, it was glaring having kids. I just didn't know it. You knew it. You knew that you had a piece of your puzzle missing. Yeah, because the piece was right in the middle and I was like, it was glaring at me. I was like, man, I just want this puzzle to be complete.

And yeah. And now it's complete. We're parents. You're a mom, I'm a dad. I literally am so tired of trying to, yeah, I don't know. I love you. I love that you're a mom.

I love seeing you as a mom. You're such an amazing mom. Thank you. I feel, you're a mom. I love seeing you as a mom. You're such an amazing mom. Thank you. I feel, here's the thing, I know I'm a good mom. So like, I just, it's something that I'm just like, I feel good. I'm like, thank you for saying that. But also, I don't need any other outside validation.

Like, I know I'm a good mom. And that doesn't mean I think that I've got everything figured out. I ask other people for advice literally all the time. And I look things up and I read books and I'm looking at other moms online. So it's not that, it's not like this like stupid arrogance that I think that I have everything figured out.

But I do have a lot of assurance. I'm like, I'm a good mom. This assumption says, Abby wants another baby but Matt doesn't. How do you feel about that assumption? See, and look like my opinions can change, I guess. Like I wanna give that disclaimer because it's like you can say something

and your mind can change. But I think my mind has changed, honestly. Really? Pregnancy and postpartum is so hard. And again, I wanna like say to the elephant in the room that it is infinitely harder on you. Yeah. So I don't wanna act like, oh, it's so hard.

It is definitely harder on me. It's so hard on to act like, oh, it's so hard. It's so hard on me as a dad. But it is, like think about, and this is a weird analogy, but like think about if somebody's in the hospital with like cancer and they have a caretaker, like their spouse or something, it is harder on the person that has cancer, right? Like they're going through it,

but it's also hard on the person that's taking care of them. You can't ignore them. You can't ignore the fact that their life is hard too. It isn't as hard as the person that's taking care of them. You can't ignore them. You can't ignore the fact that their life is hard too. It isn't as hard as the person that's actually experiencing the thing, but the person walking alongside the person experiencing the thing is also going through it as well. And so that's what it felt like for me.

It felt like really freaking hard. Did I turn into a monster when I was pregnant? No, I just think like, no, I just think it's a challenging time. I did cry every day. It's challenging. And I think the more that we can talk about that, the more that people can have the right expectations

going in. Also, let me give this disclaimer. I think we probably had more difficult kids in the newborn stage than most people have. We had kids that would scream a lot. They were colic. Luckily, and I'm so thankful, my brother and sister-in-law, their baby is an angel. He never cried. I've never seen that kid cry.

Yeah. Like their their house is quiet. Their house like it's so it's not stressful. Like I've never once seen. OK, maybe I've seen him cry for like two seconds and I'm so happy for them. I'm so happy that they have this like angel newborn that is just perfect. And like doesn't I'm sure he doesn't even poop and pee. I'm just kidding.

Okay. That was a really stupid joke, but it was really freaking hard for us. And so I think that's why I was like, absolutely not. Absolutely not. Cause I'm like, this is the hardest thing I've ever gone through in my life. And I'm not even the one that's pregnant. I'm not even the one that's birthing the kid, but it's the hardest thing I've ever done. That's why I was like, there's no freaking way. But I think now that

I've gotten to the other side, we know that there's like hope and I'm like living in it now. Like I'm, I'm getting, I'm getting to be an individual again. I just shaved my head. I'm dropping music. Like I'm, I, I have an identity. I have an identity outside of my children. Yeah. And in the midst of- I actually don't, so. In the midst of all that, I thought my identity, and look, my identity is permanently changed. I'm a father now, and I love it. I love being a dad.

It's one of the greatest joys in my life. I love being a dad. But I was so scared because I thought my whole identity was gonna be dad, that's it. I was terrified. I was like, I can't just like, let lose everything that I've ever become and just like only be a dad and only in like my whole life is just being a dad. And there's nothing else that scared the frick out of me. And for a while, that's really kind of all you were doing.

Yeah, it was. And that's not I don't think that should be the expectation. Like, while that's all I want, that's not my expectation for you. And so now I have balance. Like I get to spend time with you in my day. I get to spend time with my kids in my day. I get to write music in my day. I get to create TikToks promoting my music.

I get to make our podcast. Like it's been so good and I get to hang out with my friends. And look, that doesn't happen on a daily basis. Like those things are all spread out through the week or the month or whatever. We've gotten to travel together. We've gotten to do all these things. And it has been so good to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Because in once when we were in the midst of that, I was like, man,

this is my life forever. I'm never getting out of this. So I've gotten to the other side. I can see that there's I don't know. It was just it was just a hard time. So, yes, now I'm never getting out of this. So I've gotten the other side. I can see that there's, I don't know, it was just, it was just a hard time. So yes, now I'm like, I can, I can 100%. Honestly, I want to have another kid. Like being transparent with you, I want to have a baby number three. I love my kids so much. I want another one. This one says you are considering no more babies. So I guess that's, I feel like that's out. Honestly, we were considering no more.

Yeah. And you know what? I would actually tell other people we might be done just to see how it felt because of how you were pretty certain that you were done for a little bit there. I would say yeah, we might be done. But the timing I got rid of all my maternity clothes. Here's the thing though with the timing of that like I think that maybe baby number three could come five years from maybe baby number three could come five years from now. Baby number three could come 10 years from now.

You are still able to have children at 35, right? My mom had my brother at 30, me at 32, and my younger brother at 36. So it's like, you could have a baby 10 years from now at 35, and that could be, we could have two kids at 35 and 36. We could do, we could go back to back again, knock them out. Maybe it's twins, maybe we have twins at 35, who knows? But I think like, I've,

That sounds a little scary. It does, but I think it's, but it's encouraging though. Cause like, I almost want to spread out the fun in a way. Yeah. It's like, we're going through this fun stage. We're getting to see our kids be like cute and little. And so like maybe when our kids are, maybe when Griffin and Augie are like 10,

maybe when we want to go with round number two and pop out two more, you know? Maybe that could be fun. I don't know. We'll need to figure that out. That's psychotic of you. Okay, I've been talking a lot. What do you think, babe? When we got married, I said four kids.

I would still be over the moon to have four kids. Honestly, I could see us doing that. Like, I could totally see that. But I also understand that it's a family decision. So why does that seem so fun? Like some like maybe set like, okay, let's go in the let's take the median of five and 10. Let's say seven and a half years from now.

So I will be so seven and a half years from now I will be 33 and you will be 3032. So what if at 33 and 32 we have baby number three? Like that could be really cool. You wanna have them before you're 30? Yes. Oh, okay. What if we had them at, like what if we had baby number three at 30?

No. No? That wouldn't be my ideal timeline. What if we got pregnant at 29 and then the baby came while you're- I was thinking 27. See, that scares me. Honestly, that scares me a little bit.

Well, that's what I'm saying. We don't have to figure it out right now. Yeah, we don't have to figure it out right now. This one says baby number three will be named after Abby's grandpa. That's a really sweet thought. Wait, that's really sweet. That's really sweet. But...

I like the idea. We've been using family names as our kids' middle names, which has been really sweet. Yeah. Because Griffin's middle name is Douglas, which is your grandpa who passed three years ago. That was his middle name. And then August, his middle name is Jacob, which was my great-grandpa's first name. Yeah, I mean, I think that's a really sweet thought.

I feel like, who knows how that would work out. Know what nobody does is name, like if they have have a daughter they never name it after the mom. What if we did that? Like what if we had like a little Abby if we had a daughter that'd be kind of cute. Named her Abby? Yeah. No. Would that be that'd be too confusing because we have we already have a sister-in-law named Abby and then our other sister-in-law is Adi. So that might be the worst. That would confuse everybody. I would almost say any other name but Abby. That would confuse everybody. I would almost say any other name but Abby. Talking about more kids has started fights.

Yeah. Actually has. Yeah, it has. Especially early on because Abby, like you knew in your head that you wanted more, but like I just couldn't see the other side at that point. I was like, I was like, please shut up. I was like, please. Well, no, I also had like a hormone thing that was like, I need, I have an empty womb, it must be full

again. Like it was just a hormone thing. Yeah. Well, this one does say Matt is done having kids for five plus years, which that might be true. Honestly, that's pretty accurate because I think I need to give my brain enough time to reset, forget about the newborn stage, forget about how hard it is. And then I'll just get thrown right back in, you know? I think all the stuff I've learned, like changing newborn diapers, I think it'll be like muscle memory, like riding a bike. You know how like if you don't ride a bike for five years,

you can just like hop right back on and ride a bike? I think it'll be like that with kids. Yeah. Maybe we should consult our comment section for that, because maybe there's somebody out there that waited like five years to have their next one. You know what I've heard from people that have big gaps is that they forgot everything. Oh, okay.

Well, we could record a video. We could do like a how to have a kid tutorial. You know what, I will be honest with you. We could make a whole series of like teaching ourselves how to have kids, like teaching everything and then watch the video five years now. Do you know what I heard though? What? I've noticed that not to try to prove my own point, but the people that have bigger age gaps, while they're like,

I love my kids, they think that, like they wish they were closer together. Okay. What's the age gap that you want in your ideal perfect world? Should I even say this online? I don't care. What is it? I would try for baby number three, like right after Augie's second birthday. Okay. Now, honestly, that could be more doable, honestly. I just picture a three-year-old Griffin and a two-year-old Augie running into the hospital room to meet their little sibling.

They would be old enough at that point to kind of understand what's happening and be so excited. That's so sweet. If you had to choose today, if it was going to be, if baby number three would be a boy or a girl, what would you choose? I could go either way. Same, I'm so excited. I just want a baby you know like I just I love babies I love being a dad it's it's the greatest joy. I honestly have a really good point you're kind of selling me there when my brother when my younger brother Josh was born I was four so I think if Griffin was four

and Augie was three that could also be be really cool. Because I remember my little brother being born. It was cool. It was a really sweet moment. So yeah, maybe a more realistic timeline would be Griffin being four and Augie being three. So then how many years of you not being pregnancy sick and stuff would that give us? That'd be almost three years.

Okay, that could be, we could maybe work with that. Well, it would be almost three years because if Augie's turned two, then- Knowing that we, yeah, I think like two years from now I might be ready to try for baby number three. I think two years from now would be- Yeah, that'd be like a year and a half. Yeah, maybe that would, yeah, maybe that'd be good. Yeah, I don't know, who knows, but like honestly, I think about having another baby and it being a boy and I'm so excited to have like three musketeers, but then I think about having another baby and it being a boy, and I'm so excited to have like three musketeers.

But then I think about us having a little girl and I'm so excited because that's so new. Can you picture this? So we go to Hawaii, I take the kids out surfing, and we've got me with my three boys surfing. How precious would that be? But a girl can shred too. A girl can shred too, you're right, you're right.

We don't wanna like, we don't wanna differentiate. I will say there is something special about I feel like the relationship between brothers. Yeah, the three brothers like the Howard boys. Yeah. The Howard. That would be cute. Like the Howard boys. We could it's like the restaurant in Hawaii. Seven brothers. Oh yeah. That would be cool. What if we had seven? What if we had seven kids? Dude, I will tell you I would love because I just feel like there's some people, some women can probably relate to this. I have no other aspirations other than to be a mom

and to like love my children and play with them and take care of them and raise them. And like, that's all I wanna do. That's literally my purpose in life. So then I'm like, if I could have seven, I would love that. That's good. I think, okay, that actually is, I'm glad you brought that up

because that is one of my reasons why I was like, I have been hesitant about having more because then I feel like me spending, you know, between six a.m. and eight a.m. with Griffin and Auggie and then five till seven, their bedtime with them every day. Like, and then also doing, I spend all day with them on Saturday and Sunday. But it's like that to me, I love that quality time with them.

But if you add like two or three more kids to that mix, then it's like, that cuts my time with all my kids down by a lot. And I wanna have intentional quality time with each and every one of my children. So it does worry me, like the more kids you have, the less intentional you can be. You just physically can't be as intentional

with seven kids as you could be with three. That's what I'm saying, I think Max would be five. I think that's good, I think Max is five. Honestly, like I'm kind of sold on four right now. I think four is great. Like four would be so freaking cute. It would be so cute. I love the idea of everyone having a buddy.

But then mom and dad still get to be buddies. I just see us like, I just love our family so much and I just love our family so much. I really, I hope no one hearing this sees this as gloating, but I also think it's, I'm inspired by other happy people to also be happy. So I want you to know that I am so grateful and happy for my life. I have an abundance mentality where it's like there's enough for everybody. There's enough for everybody to be happy.

And I think like happiness rubs off on people. Like it just, it spreads like wildfire. And so does being charitable. Being charitable because people are like, if I can influence someone to buy a makeup product, I can also influence someone to serve and to volunteer. So like people being mad at someone for saying that they're happy, how silly,

because you can also be influenced to be happy. Being mad at someone that's volunteering and saying, oh, you're just trying to look good, doing this very image. No, like they can also influence you to take part in your community and volunteer I completely 100% agree. Some people just look through life in such a negative lens. Yeah I think you gotta have that that glass half full mentality, right rather than a glass half empty mentality

yeah, so I'm just saying like I hope that you can look at your own life and see the things that are good and just be so grateful for the good and love your life too. And like make your life something that you love. Like I feel like we've done, I've done things in my own life to shift things and move things around so that I can love my life. And I don't know, what is this becoming? I'm not a self-help girl. No, you, hey, you are right now. I'm expired. Like yesterday on our morning walk, you were just telling me how happy you were

and how you were like, I love my life. I love my kids. I love you. I love, like you're just so positive and happy. And I love that mentality. I think it really is encouraging to hear that. And you were saying that I'm like, I was like same. I was like, I love my life.

I love this. Like I love being, same. I was like, I love my life. I love this. Like, I love being a dad. I love being a husband. So just, it's a good way to live. It's a good outlook. I think happiness is a mindset more than anything. I think you could be the most, I think you'd be the wealthiest person in the world and be, and be the most depressed.

And I think you could be the poorest person in the world and be the happiest. So I think it's like, it really comes down to having the right attitude with, with everything. And honestly, it just boils down to do more of what makes you happy. Yeah. Like, and for me also, that does not just mean like lead an easy life because a lot of things in my life that make me happy are not easy things. Okay, Abby, I've realized this. I had this discovery now as an adult.

So there are things in life that are hard, that are good for you and you should do. And then there's things in your life that are, that feel good, but they're bad for you and you shouldn't do and vice versa. So an example is like, and this is obvious, but like, let's take heroin, right? Right? Heroin.

I knew you were gonna take it somewhere extreme because you always do. Okay, no, Snoop Dogg on Joe Rogan's podcast is like, hey, if it's, it feels really good. It must be good for you. It's like, no. Stupidest thing I've ever heard in. Okay, no, Snoop Dogg on Joe Rogan's podcast is like, hey, if it's, if feel good. Must be good for you. It's like no. Stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life. I love Snoop Dogg.

I think he's hilarious. I love his the yada yada yada. I like that song, but him saying that I was like. Wait, didn't Snoop Dogg give up smoking? I have no idea. Okay. I think he smokes a lot of weed, but basically when he said that I was like,

Snoop Dogg, you have never said something that could be further from the truth because heroin feels good, but it ruins your life, right? But then something hard like going to the gym, working out can be really hard and challenging and you wanna quit. It doesn't feel good at times, but it is so healthy. It gets blood flow to your brain,

which can help you live longer. It improves your mood. It improves your sex life. It improves your mood. It improves your sex life. It improves your ability to think critically about that. Like it's just working out is such a good thing, but it can be hard. And on the reverse, heroin's on the other side. So I think what I've realized is you need to figure out

in life what things are challenging, what things are hard, but actually serve you, and what things that feel good, but don't serve you. Maybe you have a problem with overeating. It's like, oh, it feels good to do that. But you know what? That could make your life shorten. So like you have to figure out and use your brain to, to understand the things that are challenging that serve you and the change, the things that are actually quite the opposite of challenging, but don't serve you at all. And you need to cut out. That's good. Is that all the assumptions that we had? I'm sure that people assume a whole lot more about us, but.

Yeah, there's a lot, but. But then also I assume that most people don't really give a rip. Yeah, that's true. Hey, honestly, you could ignore literally everything we just said in this episode, because all of this is just our experience. This is just our life.

What works for us might not work for other people. What works for us won't work for other people. That's right. I mean, like for some people, having seven children could be like the worst thing in the world, and for other people. What works for us won't work for other people. That's right. I mean, like for some people having seven children could be like the worst thing in the world and for other people could be the best thing in the world. And sometimes people think they know what they want, but then they're completely wrong. Like for me, I didn't know that I wanted to be a dad as young as I became a dad, but I love being a dad. I thought you just said earlier in this episode that you regret getting married young.

I don't know if I'd recommend it to other people, but I think it all worked out. I love you. I love you. I love't know if I'd recommend it to other people, but I think it all worked out. I love you. I think here's the thing that I think that you're trying to say, which I don't want to assume, but getting married young ended up being right for us because we made it right for us. Like we got counseling. We did our individual growing and we ultimately made sacrifices to make that route work for us. I know this is controversial, but I'm, I don't know. I'll just, I'll save that for another podcast. Yeah, I won't say that. I'm just trying to figure out what you were saying. It's okay. I won't say it. I'm going to keep that to myself.

Anyway, so baby number three coming in 2025. Wait, okay. So if we, if we try for baby number three in three years, then- No, not three years. Well, then if- August 2nd birthday would be August of 20... Three years from now, Griffin will be four. Five. So then we'd have a baby in 26.

And it's March. So then the baby would come in like December. So Griffin would be four and Augie would be three. So you're thinking of a different time than me. I'm thinking of right when Augie turns to getting pregnant. If we made love tonight in three years, we have, we currently have a zero year old and a one year old. But you're not hearing what I'm saying Matt.

I've said it like five times. What? When Augie turns two, not saying three years from now. I'm saying when Augie turns two. Is when you want to try for the baby. Yes. Ah, and I'm saying I want to do that. I'm like, my math is not working out.

Three years from now getting pregnant, getting this time, three years from now. We'd then put our baby being born in December of 2027, is when I was thinking. December 2027 is when, is my projected date for baby number three. Okay. If I were to like, work my magic. Because then that would give us three years of like, yay, no like- Well, ultimately we need your magic. We need my magic. It is needed. But it would give us three years of like, yay, we get to like just enjoy each other and enjoy our kids. And like, no one's having pregnancy hormones or postpartum stuff, you know? Oh, cause sometimes your pregnancy hormones get you.

Absolutely. Can I be honest? We can rewind the pod. I think postpartum hit you harder than it hit me. You could be right, honestly. You could be right. And honestly, maybe I would convince you. Okay, no, that's not my place. It's your decision on if you breastfeed or not. But it would be easier. That is true. Breastfeeding did kind of mess up

this journey. Can I be honest? It would be so much easier on me if you didn't breastfeed. It would be, I'll be completely transparent. It's not my decision to make at all, but it would be easier on me as a husband if you, if we did bottles, because then I could be an equal player in giving our kids bottles. There wouldn't be fights around like, the kid's not eating all this stuff. Like it would just be, I think, a lot less stressful. And I honestly, I would be able to,

I would be down to do every single feed, every single bottle feed, because then I think you would be happier, and then I think we would fight less. We fought so much, you know? We just got down. I'm trying to think if I'd be willing to do that and I cannot give you a definitive answer. That's okay, you don't have to. It's three years from now, so., you know. I'm trying to think if I'd be willing to do that and I cannot give you a definitive answer.

That's okay. You don't have to. It's three years from now. So I love you. I love you. Okay. Thank you guys for watching this episode. And also if you want to support our podcast, supporting the sponsors that we have in our podcast would be doing that. Yeah, actually. Yeah. So here's the thing. You don't have to support our podcast, but if you enjoy it and it's something you listen to weekly, a way to show your gratitude would be to like, subscribe, and also support our sponsors. Oh, yes. Which means clicking the links in the description and commenting and things like that.

I just realized too, we're actually thinking about doing a podcast membership. So that would come with some- We are? Yeah, that would come with some really fun perks for you guys. So we'll save that for another episode. But if you'd be interested in a podcast membership, let us know. One of the perks for sure would be absolutely no ads. So you can watch our podcast or listen to our podcast completely free of ads, like not a single one. If that's something that you'd be interested in, let us know. We're thinking about doing that. Bye.