The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby - Asking My Husband Questions Girls Are Too Afraid to Ask

Episode Date: December 13, 2023

In this week's episode, Abby reads out questions submitted by you guys to our Instagram page - JUICY QUESTIONS! This episode is sponsored by ShipStation, Dreamland Baby & SpearmintLOVE Go to ShipStation.com and use code UNPLANNED today and sign up for your FREE 60-day trial. Go to dreamlandbabyco.com and enter code UNPLANNED at checkout to receive 20% off sitewide + free shipping. Use code UNPLANNED for 25% off your next SpearmintLOVE order at spearmintlove.com BUY OUR MERCH!! unplannedpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do husbands actually want their wives to lose weight after giving birth? What type of, are you literally trying to give me a child? These are what the people are asking. I'm the voice of the people. Does it feel different down there after birth? I feel like it goes back, but it doesn't go to exactly. You like it as much? Yeah.

Doesn't sound very good. I think I like it pretty good. Do men actually care what we wear in the bedroom? Yes. That love. Lingerie. Lingerie. I used to think it was called that. Ever since I was a kid, bedroom. Yes. That loves. Linguery. Linguery.

I used to think it was called bed. Ever since I was a kid, I was like, that word is pronounced linguery. Why do you see it written so many times? I don't know. What's up dudes? Welcome back to the OnPlan podcast. Woo.

Today we are wearing our merch. We are twinning. We got blue. What's up dudes, merch on. If you're watching, you can obviously see that. You look really good in this color. You do too. Really?

I think it's cute when we wear matching outfits. It is cute. You know when people are like, oh no, I wore the same thing as my spouse. I think that's kind of funny. I think that's kind of cute when they have to. It's cute especially because I feel like it starts to happen naturally the longer you're married.

It's yeah, and it's been happening to us. Like my grandparents, they're just pointing all the time. They're like, oh, we didn't plan this, it just happens. I'm like, so cute. You just start to send little brain messages to, I don't know, when you're picking up it out. It's weird how we can read each other's minds at this point in our marriage. What were we doing the other day when I literally guess the exact thing on your mind? We were actually filming a YouTube video. It's in our YouTube video.

Oh, and I get, I get right. Yeah, you literally got it right. Well, if you haven't gotten your merch already, it says What's Up Dude's super, super cool. It's been on sale with our, with our code. If you use our code, we'll actually have a code in the description if you guys want to use that to get a discount on the merch, because it's still live and they, and they're great Christmas gifts. Maybe your friend listens to the podcast, and you surprise him with what's up, dudes, ho.

Yeah, it says, the up is the UP for unplanned podcast. Yeah, so that was a thoughtful little detail. Well, shall we get into these questions? We saw some of our new friends, Jess and Gabe do this video, but this trend has been going around forever. I think it's fun to do asking my husband questions, people might be too afraid to ask.

Now, are we going to do see today? Because we actually did this same video back in the early days of YouTube. You know what? And we did juicy questions. So I don't know, are you going to do see or you're not going to do see. Here's the thing, I ask people on the unplanned podcast Instagram. So those of you that sent in questions. Thank you so much

And if you're following us on that on Instagram. It's just unplanned podcast. Yeah, you can follow us We'll put a little little pop up right here. See really appreciate you Engaging with this and being a part of this podcast Some of them were extremely juicy and other more parents I feel like we have to dial it back with that conversation about that. Gotta be a little careful even though we really are open books, but I think we still got some pretty juicy ones. Ooh, okay. Do men care if we smell?

Yeah, yeah we do. We do. And honestly babe, I really don't notice you being smelly, but I don't, it's rare. Sometimes it happens, but usually when I point out you smelly bad is if you're getting on me about smelling bad And then it's like a retaliation. It's like a retaliation thing. Yeah Well, what about the other night when we were watching stranger thing you farted and it smelled like

freaking ace So bad and it wouldn't leave I looked over you. I'm like you just farted, it didn't? It's different now that we're married and like we've had two babies together We're extremely comfortable, but like when we were we were in the dating stage was there any time? You're like okay, she smells bad. I don't want to say anything. I don't know. I've never remembered you being like Smelly I don't I don't think you're really that smelly but in general if I was you think you'd care. Yeah, I would care Yeah, I'd be like a turn off if we were like a lovely dating stage probably yeah does women's weight really matter? I'm gonna say no and here's why I think turn off if we were like a lovely dating stage. Probably, yeah. Does women's weight really matter? I'm gonna say no, and here's why.

I think so much of the way that you look like is not connected to weight, I would say. Like Abby eats a lot of food. Abby probably weighs more than a lot of women her height, but Abby has a really good body, and it's because she's muscular and muscle weighs a lot. So like, if you ever go to pick up Abby, like she's a muscular woman.

Abby has traps, she has shoulders, she's got it all, okay? Abby can do multiple pull-ups, she can do... I cannot. Yes, you can't, you literally get in your head and then you just think that you can't do it, but you actually can. I haven't attempted in a while.

So I'm gonna say no, I feel like people put way too much focus on their weight. Like the number on the scale. Yeah, and it's just like, pay attention to the way that you look, I would say. Oh, okay. More, but you don't need to look like the quote unquote beauty standard if that makes sense.

Like there's obviously a healthy body way to have, but that looks differently for all sorts of people. Like that number is different. That's all sort of. That number is completely different. I think that's very valid. Like you should be healthy, like take care of your health, but that health does not equate the number on this.

Like those are not parallel. Bingo. So I think that is a very good point there. And yeah, that's why I also have never shared my weight. I don't think I've ever shared my weight online. Really, you've never done that? Because it's not because I'm ashamed of my weight at all. It's just because I don't want other people

comparing like, oh, that's a healthy weight for Abby. That's probably a healthy weight for me. It doesn't work like that. So that's why I've never shared like the exact poundage. I think I shared how much I gained with pregnancy. But even that, I probably shouldn't have shared because then people were comparing that and you shouldn't. So yeah, don't compare those numbers even though because it is a number it's so easy to compare, but don't do that. Okay, here's one. I already know the answer to it. It's doing the deed always

on a man's mind like they say. Pretty much, yeah. Yeah. Pretty much. It's kind of crazy how much like you think about that. I don't know. I feel. Do you think about it every hour of the day? Not every hour, I would say. Every other hour. It depends on the day.

Like, okay, here's what's really interesting. So when you're in the, when you're in the thick of the newborn stage and you're not getting any sleep, it's crazy how you don't think about it. Mm. Because you were so... That is connected with how resting you are. Yeah, when you were so exhausted,

like I don't have any drive, if I'm just completely exhausted, and I don't think about it, and it's like, oh my God, because you think about six weeks, like oh my gosh, like being married and going six weeks without doing it, but when you're completely and utterly exhausted,

it's actually not the hard because you have way, so many other things on your mind. I thought that was gonna be way harder for you most times, but because you're so exhausted, it's a biological or a medical thing. You're not gonna feel like you want to do it. No, your body won't have the energy to have drive when you're completely depleted of energy.

But I would say if I had to go six weeks, like getting lots of rest, eating right, you know, just being like normal in life, like that's really hard, you know? Matt, things just about it a lot. You don't think about it a lot? Um, maybe once a day. You know what's weird?

This is actually so dumb how it all works because for men, like men want it more on average, I would say than women do, yet women get the better climax. Actually, if you look at the science, women have so many more nerve endings than men, so I don't understand why it is that way. Like you're over here, I'm shilling, I'm shilling,

I'm good, I don't need it. But maybe you're just so satisfied. Maybe you're just like Maybe that's why that's probably it honestly So true. I mean we talk about that a lot. I envy you have it where we're very blessed It's crazy though like when you first get married you think, oh, we're never gonna stop. Like it's just, we're gonna keep up this, this pace.

And as soon as kids come along, like, that changes everything. Do guys like it when a girl makes the first move? I feel like this is the classic question. Uh, I'm gonna say no actually. Really? Because I feel like when I've heard other people do this, the guy says, do you think you're with a majority there? I don't know, I just feel like when a girl plays hard to get, that just makes me one or more.

Oh. And I didn't know if you liked me or not, so it made me want you more. I liked you a lot. It made you mysterious, but you didn't show it though. You didn't really hit on me. You talked to me. That's so interesting. Yeah, you didn't make it clear to me.

Well, I didn't want to make it clear to you because I wanted to make sure that you liked me. Yeah. And I think for me, it was easier to catch feelings for somebody. Maybe it's just the opposite for me, at least. Like, it was easier for me to like create feelings if a guy already liked me.

And I was like, oh, I like them. But maybe the opposite happens for you. You never had feelings for guys that didn't show interest first? No, no, no, I did. But I'm saying feelings could come on. Like they could be manufactured if they already liked me.

I guess don't you find it so interesting. Maybe that's just desperate. People, everyone ends up somewhat, like everybody ends up marrying somebody that they meet at their college or okay, not a ton of people out there high school, but or at their high school or their work. Like, isn't it so weird how it's so predictable

who we marry? So predictable. You're gonna college, oh, you're gonna meet your spouse and college, most likely. Okay, to be the men in college, you're gonna go get a job somewhere after college and you'll meet your spouse at your job. Isn't that weird how simple it is? People are meeting on dating apps now. True, but it's just, it's weird how it works. It's not this whole romantic way of finding the person that

we're like, we're, we're sold this idea of how relationships are built in movies and it's just not that way at all in the real world Mm-hmm. That makes sense. I think it's pre-romantic that we met doing Mary Poppins. That was romantic. Meward 12. You're a little tired. Okay, next question. Yeah, it was just thinking about what I was like not I've been thinking about this a lot I was not and I was the least boy crazy girl in the world, not in the world. But I was like the least boy crazy of all my friends,

my friends were even boy crazy. I didn't give, I don't remember giving boys a second thought in high school really, unless they reached out to me on like Snapchat, and then I was like, oh, maybe. And then I was like, yeah, actually never mind. And then I, Stinking Got Married at 20, engage at 19. I was just always into women like ever since I was like, yeah, actually never mind. And then I, Stinking got married at 20, engaged at 19. I was just always into women, like ever since I was a kid.

I remember like in first grade, I was like, man, I wish I could kiss a girl. Like I just, I don't know what it is, but I was the oddball. Yeah, I was always thinking about it. I wish I could kiss a girl. I wish I could kiss a pretty girl. That'd be awesome. Okay, so apparently if you're a guy like Matt, you don't like it if girls make the first move.

No. Err. Um, okay, this is different. What? This is your gonna be your second or third cancellation. This episode is sponsored by ShipStation. We know that we have a lot of entrepreneurs and business owners that listen to our podcast.

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Back to the episode. What is the question Abby? Let's get it. Do you guys mean that when they say their wife's lush girlfriend looks better without makeup? Okay, um, wow, where do we be? I mean, it's just, it's, that's a guy to guy question. What do you mean? That is a very, all of these are. That's a very specific. You can't use Matt to represent all men. Yeah. And for

any of these questions, but especially this one because Matt likes it when I have... Well, I also cover you. You never say Addy go put on makeup. No, I've never once. But when I explicitly ask you, hey, do you like it when I have my makeup done versus when I don't have my makeup on? You will tell me you do like it was a little. I do. I have to be like the way you look makeup on. I don't know if there's something wrong with that. Is that bad? Is that wrong?

No, but I do think a common thing for guys to say is I like, I prefer my woman with no makeup on. And I would also challenge that person to say, are you sure they're not wearing makeup and not just like a very natural look? I do like a natural look. I would say that you wear a natural style of makeup. Also when other people do your makeup, they always don't do it right.

Like for some reason, people don't know how to do makeup on you, but you know how to do makeup on you. Well, I think my eyes, okay. Like they do weird colors of lipstick and stuff. Yeah, weird lipstick or like really dark eyes and dark eyebrows, which I don't, I like it pretty natural. Like there's been a few times where people

have done your makeup and I'm like, what did they do? Yeah. What did they do? Maybe I just have a weird face. I think your face is different than other people's faces. I think that's what it is.

I think you know your face better than anybody else. I know why I'm weird. And they don't know your face. So they're trying to do makeup on your face and they can't figure it out. It's a weird face. But you know how to do it. You've got it.

That's your face. I have large features. I have big eyes, big nose, big earlips and cheeks and stuff, so you've got to know how to work with the big features. I've actually told you before, you don't have makeup on them like, wow, you look really good. Do you have makeup on? Like I asked you that because I said, sometimes I don't. And you say that.

Yeah, and I can't tell. I can't tell. Like you look really good. Like, do you have anything on? You look great. Usually the days that I'm freshly self-tained. When you wear self-tainer though, it looks hilarious. Yeah, it looks pretty bad.

It's like, when I run soft, it looks great. It's true. It's the whole, this is a big one. If he wanted to, he would. Actually true. See, that's a tricky one. Cause maybe some guys are just shy. It's true. It's true that like, if somebody really wanted something,

they're just gonna do it. That they really want you. They're just going to make it happen. But life can get complicated and sometimes things get in the way. And sometimes, maybe you are asleep the private parent and you have a newborn and the whole, if you wanted to, he would thing doesn't apply because you can't expect the most from your spouse when they are going through the thick of it. If that makes sense, I can't expect you to be the, you know, on, like I can't expect

you to be some incredible wife when you are nursing a child and trying to keep a baby a lot. I just can't expect that from you. I can expect you to be, I think, kind and just like not mean. Well, you know, like mean things. I don't know. I'm like rambling right now. But yes, I think like situations can change things, but that one's complicated. I think you're totally right. I think that if he wanted to, he would is oversimplifying it. Like, if a guy likes you, they're going to show it to you, but there's so many life circumstances that

can make these things that you see on social media or TV just impossible for that person. I don't know. I see these guys do these huge gestures where they set up this glamorous date and then the comments are all, if you want, this is proof that if you wanted to, you know, it's like, that was an expensive gesture right there. And maybe this guy is a great partner for you, but maybe he's just not financially able to provide that right now. Or, you know, there could be a whole other list of reasons why that is not possible at the time. And that shouldn't be like a red flag or any

reason to break up with somebody. Do husbands actually want their wives to lose weight after giving birth? What type of are you literally trying to get me to say something that can get me in trouble? These are what the people are asking. I'm the voice of the people. I mean, you're speaking on behalf of men. Gosh, I mean, probably, I don't know. I mean, you can't expect some crazy timeline. Like I recognize my privilege in that you like to work out five days a week and you have really good genes and you just look great.

Like I recognize that I'm very fortunate to have a wife that is just a very fit woman all around. Um, so I don't know. I think I don't look like I did before I had a baby. That's true. I mean, I think there's something to be like when you're married, I think you need to have enough respect for your spouse to stay in like decent shape. I'm not saying to be some crazy fitness queen or king. I'm just saying to take care of yourselves that you look appealing to your spouse. But then you also have unique circumstances where maybe some people have a health condition and it's really hard to keep off weight and some people you know a lot of people Some people have a health condition and it's really hard to keep off weight and some people,

you know, a lot of people, like, I'm fortunate, I have a really fast metabolism. You have a really fast metabolism. So we probably don't need to work out as much as other people to keep a slimmer build. But anyway. And healthy set weight for each person is different. I think this is more saying, like, the weight that's specifically they gained during pregnancy. Yeah. Which I don't think you're back to your pre-pregnancy weight. Definitely not. And I think you is more saying like the weight that's specifically they gained during pregnancy. Yeah, which I don't think you're back to your pre-pregnancy weight. Definitely not. And I think you look awesome. That's the thing. I'm like, you always tell me all the time how beautiful you think I am and that you love

the changes that my body has gone through that sometimes I don't even love myself. Like, you know, extra skinned, stretched marks, wider hips, like obviously. Yeah, I think having... Sagin-ish, like things like that. Like you always tell me how beautiful you love that and like how womanly you think that is and how you think it's really cool that it, like maybe you haven't said it in this way,

but basically, like it tells the story of like having babies, like our boys. I think having the expectation that they go back to their pre pregnancy weight is an unrealistic expectation. And having the expectation that your spouse goes back to looking the way they did before having babies. That's crazy. That's a completely unrealistic expectation. If a mom is just solely responsible for taking care of the kids, you know,

there's no way in the world. I think about all the time how privileged I feel like that I'm able to go to the gym as often as I am. Because a lot of moms are watching their kids all day and they can't get away and they can't make a healthy meal. All these issues are more complicated than you think, but yeah, I think that's definitely fair. I feel like we could ask some juice here questions. Okay, this was juicy.

You want juicy here? What do we got? What do we got? Do men actually care what we wear in the bedroom? Yes, 100% yes. One million thousand percent yes. I don't know. Five million percent yes.

We actually talk about this all the time. That loves when I wear something. Lingery. Lingery? I used to think it was called that. Did you know that? I literally always thought it was lingering. Ever since I was a kid, I was like,

that word is pronounced lingering. Why do you see it written so many times? I don't know. You're nasty. Oh my God. You're just disgusting. Matt, talk more about that then. You actually care what we wear on the bedroom.

What do you want to see in the bedroom? Of course, you care about what you wear. I'm not getting freaks women. No, you do because I think it freaks women. If a dude just takes it off, women are freaked out. They're like, put that away. Put that away right now. Put it on some clothes.

I was so when we wear, not when men wear. Like what you want me to wear is just like some American Eagle white boxers. Something very simple, a staple, basic piece. Not those loose boxers. Okay. And probably I'm making you lose. Which pair of boxers would you like me to wear?

My favorite are your Tommy Johns. Not the ones with hearts. I've got the hearts for a dollar now. I know, I know. Those are fun. I wore those specifically to wheel you. Did you actually? Yes.

You know, you just got sent some silk boxers. You try to get laid, ladies and gentlemen. No! That's the way you do it. You wear smoochy lips. Back to you. I wore my smoochy boxers. So you do care, what do you like to see, huh, Matt Howard?

Personally, I told you this, babe, and you've made progress. I think you have at least one bra and a pair of underwear that match, but when you're bra and you're underwear match, I think that's really hot. I really do. And you don't even need to wear the lingerie anymore. You just need to have the matching set and-

My pump is that I wash my underwear daily, but I don't necessarily wash my bras. Yeah, multiple pairs of the same color. Problem solved. Okay. Well, you can place a order. And what's, okay, what's so interesting about the lingerie thing is, I think you get self-conscious

about the way that you look in it. When it's is, I think you get self-conscious about the way that you look in it, when it's like, I think you look awesome. So, I don't know. I guess, I understand that you need to wear it for yourself, but I'm like, I'm gonna wear whatever the heck you want me to wear to that I will you. So, I like it when you wear it. I should wear it.

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This offer is for new and existing customers. Free shipping, 20% off. You heard it right here, people. Back to the episode. This one just says Matt, when will my boyfriend mature? He thinks periods are gross. SMH. Ooh. Yeah. Okay. Something girl. You got to drop him. Here's the thing, guys. You've never thought periods were gross. There's never going to be somebody that fits every single criteria that you have because perfect people don't exist in this world.

So look, maybe your person thinks periods are gross, but maybe they're an amazing leader and they're very kind and they're caring. I don't know, so yes, if somebody has a bunch of things wrong with them, maybe run the other way, but if it's like, oh, they're all these great things, but they do think periods are gross, it's like, okay, there are all these great things, but they do think periods are gross. It's like, okay, well, maybe that's just one of those things

that you have to put up with. Yeah. But I personally don't. I think they're awesome. I think it's beautiful. I think it's womanly. I love women. I love my woman.

You think it's awesome? Yeah, I think it's cool. I mean, that's your body's process of letting the egg go and then that's kind of, you know, that's how you make babies, right? You need to tell that. Can I tell them a really nasty story? Well, I mean, you probably don't think there's an nasty,

do you know a story I'm thinking about regarding my period? No, I literally know what you said. So I haven't had a period for a while because I am, I have been pregnant and then I also had an IUD. So I really have had, in our marriage, I've probably had two cycles where I've had a period. Well, one of those times, or maybe this was even before you got married.

Oh, this is when I literally cleaned out your menstrual cup. Is that what you're talking about? Yeah, so I have the cup because for several reasons, I think that menstrual cups are probably better than... Wait, this is before we were married because you didn't even need one because you had an IUD and we got married and then it was just completely... So this is before we were probably engaged. No, we weren't engaged because we were living

where I was living was the coop. Why did I clean out your menstrual cup for you? What happened? Well, okay, what happened was when I took it out, I didn't do this a lot, but one time it just like flung. Okay, oh, and it spilled everywhere. So gross. And it got on the carpet. And then I cleaned it all up.

I think I was just having one of those days. I had like a long shift at the restaurant we were working at. Yeah. And it was obviously on my periods. I was already feeling drained and over it. Yeah. And then I spilled it and then you cleaned it up. So that's proof that Matt really doesn't mind periods. Doesn't bother me. That was pretty out there.

That was asking a lot. Yeah. I definitely didn't ask you to do that. It's funny how I- That's so gross. I honestly, maybe I'm a little grossed out by periods. Why are you, why? It's one thing for me to take care of it.

It's nothing for you to- Oh, I don't mind. What were you about to ask me? Don't bother me. Nothing. Okay, this is what ask me? Don't bother me. Nothing. Okay, this is what I actually just really wanted to know. Are you tired? Do you need a nap?

No, I'm good. Okay. What are you actually doing in the bathroom for 45 minutes? Really good question. I actually... Is it inappropriate? No, so I'll actually edit.

I'll do edits in the bathroom. So you're on your phone? Yes. And sometimes I get sidetracked, but what's funny is I feel very productive in the bathroom. I you're on your phone? Yes. And sometimes I get sidetracked, but what's funny is, I feel very productive in the bathroom. I can respond to messages, I can respond to email. I just get a lot done while I'm on toilet.

So you're not, you don't actually have to go number two that long. Well, I do. And just getting to have the extra time allows me to kind of relax. I don't have to try to push it all out at once. Oh my gosh. So you really are going that whole time?

Yeah. No, I don't believe that. I refuse to believe that. So. Oh my gosh. So you really are going that whole time. No, I don't believe it. I refuse to believe that. So okay, if it's 45 minutes no, but if I'm in there for 10 minutes, yeah, I am going the whole time. That's crazy. How can you go so fast?

That's my question. Sometimes you're in and out and I'm like, there's no way you just went poop. Yeah. There's no way. Because I go when I have to go. I don't understand that. How do you make it happen that quickly?

Because it doesn't happen that way for me. Maybe you'll... Is this a male and female thing? Maybe you're always concentrated. There has to be a biological explanation for this. Because I always hear about husband spending time in the bathroom and women don't. And I do too. So I don't know why it is that way.

Some of this has been a long time if I just need a break. I need some me time. Okay. What? Do you guys like it when their partner initiates? Oh my gosh, yeah. Yeah, this person says it's uncomfortable for me, which is actually probably the way a lot of women feel.

Maybe they just feel awkward initiating that. But men like it. Yeah, I really do. So that's different from what I heard from you earlier, Matt. What do you mean? Howard, you said you don't like it when women Initially like make the first move Completely different though. Well when your spouse or your lover

Yes, once to make love and they're just that you walk out like if okay if later today you walked out in lingerie And I'm just like chilling and then you just start to make out with me I would literally lose it I would lose it and then you took off my clothes. I would lose it. I would go crazy. That'd be awesome Oh, this one's kind of juicy when married. Do you think it's normal to spend more time over the holidays with the wife side totally normal I think that just has to be how it is I don't know I it was always that way with my family growing up. We always went to my mom's side of the family. We're already doing that with your family.

We split it fairly evenly, but it definitely leans in the direction of your family. And that's just how it works. And I'm sure that makes you sad because we have two boys. Yeah, that's why I've been thinking about a lot recently. And then we're always gonna be dad's side of the family, which...

Unless they're gay and then you don't know, maybe it will be our side of the family. No matter what, they're not gonna be dad side of the family, which... Unless they're gay and then you don't know maybe it will be our side of the family. No matter what, they're not gonna be the moms. Ha ha ha! Wait, I'm trying to think. Oh yeah, because if it's too do, But then I guess it's even if they're both dad side of the family. Exactly, and then it's both dad, so then you don't know. Oh my goodness.

Yeah. Okay, guess you're right. We can only help. Ha ha ha ha! Just kidding. Okay. Will you give your. We can only help. I'm scared. Okay, will you give your boys the talk and tell them how babies are made?

You never had the talk with your parents. I never did. And I had the talk with my parents. Do you wish that you would have had the talk? Yeah, I do wish that we would have had the talk, but also it's not like I... Who told you? The streets.

Do you remember when it happened The streets taught me but like who was it in the streets some people at school told me that a baby was made I will distinctly remember this Okay, actually you don't know this true story. Yeah Started when I was changing with my friend for dance and we were completely naked. Okay, me and my we were both girls Yeah, and she was like you know that blood comes out of there sometimes instead of pee? And I was like, nope, it's just pee that comes out of there.

And then that's when I started to think, I was like, what does it mean? And then I asked my mom about blood and then she told me about periods. And it never really progressed from there until someone at school told me that you if you sleep with someone naked you get pregnant and so I believe that for a while. I was like man I really got to make sure my clothes stay on when I sleep with my brother. You that is so weird that you thought that.

Because I thought that's how you got pregnant. That's so creepy. Like I got so confused. And then I somewhere along the way, I'm pretty sure I knew before they gave us the talk at school. Do you remember getting the talk at school? Yeah, I knew way before that. Oh really?

Way before. I think they gave us the talk at school when I was in fourth grade. And I was like just around the corner. Well they do the girls talk before the boys talk because girls probably because girls go through puberty generally before boys. So in fourth grade, they had all the boys leave the room when it was just the girls. And then they played this video, those called just around the corner. Did you guys have that? No. Oh, so it was like playing the song like just around the corner and like tried to make Puberty sound like this joyful,

exciting thing. And then they gave all the girls a pack that had a mini deodorant and a maxi pad and no tampons, just a maxi pad, and like a couple other random hygiene things for like, when Puberty happens. And then all the boys come in and we had to hide them. It was like mortifying. Like, if they could ever find out

that we had a maxi pad with us. And then all the boys were like, what was it about? What was your video about? Like, they were all asking. Did they explain sex? Did they talk about sex that day? You know what?

You would think that those two conversations would go hand in hand, but I don't think they talked about sex. Okay, because I was thinking it'd be like some kid at school just said, hey, this happened, you're sure made and explain it to you. No, I think I've caught, figured it out between friends and movies. Okay.

I don't know when I found out. Okay. Probably by six grade. Okay, well that's good. We'll definitely give our kids the talk. Probably you will. Yeah. Because I feel like maybe like the mom should talk to their daughters and the dads and an ideal situation

Sun, don't get a girl pregnant. I don't know. I'm gonna say to my kid We're not but like way before they're going through like we're gonna have just a natural conversation when they're younger I'm gonna let our boys have girls alone in their room propinat a good idea I mean what they decide when their adults is up to them, Like, say they're seniors in high school. We were alone in rooms. It's wait, that's like 17 years in the future. I don't really want to think about that right now. Can we just not think about that? What makes the first date successful? Just some sort of connection, just some sort of relationship built.

That's true. Connection. Would you be scared if like, you felt like in love after the first date? Or do you even think that's possible? I feel like I feel like that's possible but I think it's really just infatuation. I really just think it's infatuation because I don't believe in the whole like love at first sight all that. I think infatuation can do some crazy things and I think that's why couples have like a fall off. A lot of time like that's why some people

Go through so many partners because you get this like you for a tie from the beginnings of a relationship and so if you Want if you crave that and you long for that then you're gonna to go through a relationship after relationship after relationship That's really wise I agree this episode is sponsored by Spirament love we are on our way to take our Christmas card photos I know it's kind of stressful. We're trying to get out the door and wrangle two little baby boys. I think Abby looks amazing.

Oh my gosh, you look lovely. I can't decide on these pants, I don't know if I'm wearing this. I love your pants, I think you should wear those. But you know who's gonna look cute, even if I don't really love my outfit, is our boys because they have the cutest matching knit sweaters and matching knit beanies to wear from Spirit Love. They are so adorable. That's actually what inspired these family photos. I saw these sweaters. Oh really?

Spirit Love is the reason we're doing these photos right now. Oh my gosh. Okay. They are so cute. They have everything though We also have a bunch of they are baby pajamas and obviously with the holiday season coming up You're gonna buy a gift. Maybe I shouldn't't be speaking for everyone but anyone that has a baby they probably need more jammies I feel like we're always growing on a jammies and that's something they wear sometimes all day they're best-selling organic waffle collection has the greatest material and so many cute prints they also have extremely fast shipping if you're trying to order in time for the holidays out of their headquarters right here in Arizona so you still still have time, even though Christmas is too easy.

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Now, back to the episode. Is being intimate the same after pregnancy? No. Yeah. That's not. Oh, I'm so. Mine feels like it's connected to sleep. If I'm not getting any sleep, I don't have any drive.

But I think once I start to get sleep again, that's where I'm like, OK, let's get back into action. And I think you, and I'm sure many other women, their hormones are still adjusting after birth. I like the postpartum hormone thing is, is a big change. And so that's like the last thing on your prior priorities. When for men, I think they're like, okay, I'm ready. And the women are like, hold up. Like I don't feel myself. Yeah, it's hard because it's like this body doesn't even feel like you're still getting used to your new body. You're still in, to be intimate in such a vulnerable way when you're still having like this

weird experience like it's not that you dislike your body, but it's just getting re-equainted It's like oh, okay, wait. How could I even think about inviting someone else and in this capacity? but Yeah, I think that Just goes to show that there's a big responsibility on men when it comes to intimacy after pregnancy to like validate their partner. And honestly at that time, it's really not about them at all. Like it really is all about the woman. Because they've just gone through such a crazy thing and things are gonna feel different,

things are gonna look different. And yeah, I guess like what would you say to a new dad you've had two kids now? Like when it comes to intimacy after pregnancy, like what advice would you give to them or say to them? Because that is a tough subject that I feel like a lot of people don't wanna talk about. Yeah, I would say, I don't know. I think for me going to the gym has been a good escape.

Like when I'm frustrated, like when I'm just, because as a dad, you don't have the same hormone shift. And so you want to get back into the way things used to be and it's just not going to be the same. And so, you need to find something to help you through that. Especially with me, I have a very high drive, let's be honest. And so, you have to find some way to cope with that. You can cope with that. There are multiple times a day. 100%.

I don't even... I don't know if we should even say that. But I think as a dad, you just have to be really patient and I think you need to be very understanding and extremely, extremely caring and put yourself in the back seat and put your wife's needs above your own or your partner's needs or whatever.

So, making about the other person, not yourself. Yeah, and if I could give something that you do really well, like props, is that like you, like I said before, you just made me feel so comfortable in my skin, post pregnancy, which that made it so much easier to like go into something like that. I think you look great, I think you look awesome. How do guys feel about body hair?

I'm sure you've talked about this at one point, but let's just get your updated opinion for those that haven't tuned in because that was something I was so into care about growing up when it came to boys especially I was like oh my gosh like they cannot know. Man I think it just it's changed like I think at first I really liked it and then I also was like wow It looks good without it and then recently I like to really going For down there. I thought that wasn't that the question body hair. Oh body here in general. Yeah, oh Okay, it just depends on the area like

And it really depends on the guy. I think most guys probably don't like pit hair. Most guys probably like shaved legs, I'm guessing. And then as far as down there, I'm sure it's just a personal preference thing for guys. And mine changes all the time. Like sometimes I have one at shaved and then sometimes I don't. So I think you just gotta do whatever your partner likes, really? Yeah. And I keep my hair in do whatever your partner likes, really?

Yeah. And I keep my hair in a way that Abby likes it for her. So there you go. There's your answer. You mean man's gaping? I man, I man scape in the specific way that Abby likes it. I just man scape today. I did my man's gaping, I shaved my nipples,

I shaved my whole area. I walked in during manscaping and it was horrifying. That's cool. Tell me if you think this is too much. You guys only get dinners around their girlfriend. Guys get it randomly. It can happen so often. I think that's hard for a woman to understand.

It also depends on where your thoughts are at. Like if you're thinking about it and then you're, I don't know. I get so frustrated. So is it safe for us to know that if that happens in public, that it's not about their partner? No, no, no, no. Like you can be thinking about your partner

and it happens in a public place. Yeah, and you're not even with your partner, you know? Like that could be part of it. There's times where I start to think about doing it and then I have to get up for some reason or like, if something comes- That happens when you have the football game and you're the next-

Don't say that out loud, Abby. You don't know who's gonna hear this. But yeah, then it happens and you're like, oh, frick, I gotta stand up right now. And send like, reach in your pants, you gotta re-situate. No way. Yes, because you don't want that thing sticking out.

It's so hard to be a guy. It's so hard. My gosh. So much harder than being a woman. That's such a weird thought. So you can tell when it's like- I'm kidding, by the way. I know you're joking.

I'm kidding. Oh, I didn't react to it. You're joking. The internet struggles with sarcasm sometimes. No, so does- can you tell when it's happening? Yes. Oh my gosh, yeah. You can totally tell when it's happening.

People really want to know this And I think that you didn't answer the question fully. What is it serious question? Does it feel different down there after birth? Oh? I'm not talking about after a C section. Yeah actually Yeah, I feel like it goes back, but it doesn't go back to exactly how we talked about this the other day Now I was kind of surprised to hear you say you never told me until I asked you because I always heard oh it goes back Normal, but it doesn't go back to exactly the way it was before that makes sense so

Maybe I shouldn't go into too much detail we can go we can say whatever Like it after I still like it of course you like it as much Yeah, I would say so It doesn't sound very I think I think I like it pretty good Do men find stretch marks unattractive I'm asking all the postpartum questions You know, I think it's like one of those things where you want a natural look in woman. You know, you want a woman that has a natural look. Or do you?

Oh no. That's what I like. You do like natural. I like a natural look. But you said you like me to make up. But a natural makeup. Natural makeup. Oh, okay.

And so, I don't know. I think like some stretch marks are good, but then it's almost as if if you have a ton of ton it might not look as good. Talk about my stretch marks because I got them on the top area. Okay. And I got them on the belly area.

It's like you deflate those things every day. Sometimes I see them, wow, those are so full and they are huge. And then other times I'll see them, wow, those are so full and they are huge. And then other times I'll see them and they look like you just, all the juice got sucked out of them. Well, it's exactly what happened. And so, wait, all the juice got sucked out of them. All the juice got sucked out. That doesn't sound very good peeling.

That's what it looks like sometimes. I mean, as far as, we talked about this the other day. Like, Augie ate on one boob and so one boob was huge and the other one was just teeny tiny. Yeah, and so is that unappealing too. I mean when they're lopsided like that, yes, but What if they're both sucked out? I would prefer them when they're full of milk. I think that looks better.

You would win their both when they're all sucked out. That's gonna be what they look like when you're like mean. Really? Yeah. No way. Yeah, it is. I think I saw a tick talk about this It was the lady that had the little balloons and she was pumping up the balloons and then show sometimes they're smaller than before That's crazy. That's wild

What's the little flapjack so moms that don't breastfeed does their do their boobs go to the same thing? I don't think they suffer as much their boobs don't suffer like okay No interesting because it's the constant like we were saying the inflating and the deflating that stretches your skin. It changes your skin up. Causes stretch marks, which is what? Interesting. Which makes them saggy then too, because you have more skin than you do have stuffing. Interesting. My friend Evan described it as balsac. I shouldn't say that. It's funny that you're talking about boobs because you bring up boobs jobs all the time. I know because I don't know how I feel about them. Yes, and then I feel like no matter what I answer about a boobs job, it's the wrong answer.

I think there's no right answer. It's like, well, no. It's like, oh, you don't think I can do whatever I want with my body. And then it's like, oh yeah, maybe that would look good. It's like, oh, you don't think you don't like my boobs. Like I think there's no so has a husband fun Fun little piece of advice here. Just don't answer when your wife ask you I do feel like you want to set up your husband Just completely have a wrong answer no matter what ask him how they feel about a boom job

Yeah, there's literally no right answer for that. So just don't answer the question Like like Matt said if he's like oh oh, I think it could be a good idea. But it's like, you don't like me as I am? Like, you don't like the look of a natural woman. But then saying no. But then saying no, it's like, you wouldn't let me get that after I have nursed your babies. Yeah.

And that's why. I think that's the least I am owed. Yeah. You know what's funny? It's that. It's a far way to start to fight in your marriage, talking about a boob job. Don't do it. I am owed. You know what's funny? Is that it? Sure, if I were to start to fight in your marriage, talking about a boob job, don't do it. Well, we never really actually got in the series fight about it. That's true.

We've witnessed our friends almost get into a fight about it. Yeah, we have. Okay, here's the thing. Here's the thing. Have you heard of the breastfeeding tax? What the crap is that? Wait, that might not be what it's called. The breastfeeding tax? What the crap is that? Wait, that might not be what it's called. The breastfeeding tax.

Breastfeeding math? No, never. So it's talking about how you save so much money on formula. Because you're breastfeeding. So you pretty much are owed a coffee, a special coffee, whenever you want it if you're nursing because you're already. Oh, I thought you were going to have to be like, I breast breastfeed your baby I breastfed your baby and save us all this money on formula so I deserve a boob job I thought that you're about to say no but I'm saying I think

it can transfer to that so like I'm pretty sure that there is enough money left over after you get all your special drinks in your nursing there's still you've still saved so much money that you can also get a free boob job. Wait, I think I've cracked the code on this. Abby, I have no problem with whatever you decided to do with your body, whether that's to get a boob job or not to not get a boob job, because that is your decision. That is the right answer. Did I just crack the code?

Yeah, you just cracked the code. I cracked the code. Thank you guys for watching this episode of the unplanned podcast. If you have not subscribed, go ahead and do that. We have merch. It says what's up dudes. We say that literally every single episode. So if you want to be a part of the crew, grab yourself a foodie. You know what? The back of these hoodies definitely should have said peace out dudes. Or at least on the top. Why did we not think about that? The top of the hood right here. Said peace out dudes. And as always, three, two, one.

Peace out dudes. Right here, you said peace out dudes. And as always, 3, 2, 1. Peace out dudes!