The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby - Asking My Wife Questions Guys Are Too Afraid to Ask

Episode Date: January 3, 2024

In this week's episode, Matt reads out questions submitted by you guys to our Instagram page - JUICY QUESTIONS! This episode is sponsored by Manscaped. Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code UNPLANNED at https://manscaped.com BUY OUR MERCH!! https://unplannedpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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It's just like I like you so I can't even think about this and I love how we just completely dodge the question Do you feel flattered when other men flirt with you literally never happen? No, but I feel like it does like I feel like you've been cat called before are we gonna really call that flirting? What are your guys thoughts on toys specifically for couples? Well, my head just swam somewhere to a different, I thought you were talking about baby toys. Baby? I was like, I love this.

But I feel like they just like regular stuff better. What is your body count? Oh my gosh. I don't wanna say. Do you wanna reveal it? It's me. What's up dudes? And welcome back to the unplanned podcast.

Let's do it. We are so happy you guys are here. We are throwing it back today. This is one of the OG YouTube videos we used to make. Today we are doing asking my wife questions. Guys are too afraid to ask. And let's get right into it. Abby, are boobs two different sizes?

It is something guys really commonly want to know. I get it. What's funny about these is it's clear that like it's all women asking these questions. I saw maybe like three dudes asking questions. That's funny. Yeah, I mean, especially while nursing. A lot of moms in here asking questions about postpartum, which I feel like we can also probably answer.

Oh, yeah. People were asking all sorts of questions. They just, they were just, yeah, they were just asking everything. If you haven't followed our podcast Instagram, you can do that down below. It's great, you can get extra insights into our podcast and we share fun stuff there.

But yeah, babe, two different sizes. While I'm nursing, they're at least two different sizes, usually, depending on where the baby last fed. But I don't think after I'm done nursing, it will be that way. Yeah. But it's very common for them to be two different sizes, even if you're not nursing.

Our Brazilian wax is awkward. I never had one, but I can't imagine it's not awkward, just a little bit the first time. But you've done laser hairy move, which I feel like is very similar. I think the first time I felt awkward, it was just me. It wasn't like the person doing it that made me feel awkward. For them, I have to imagine it's just just an normal Tuesday for them. So I don't think it really has to be an awkward situation,

especially after like I had the first couple done. It was so normal. Like I was just be I was kind of surprised by how normal it felt honestly because it's such a weird situation to be in like not weird but vulnerable like leg spread doing stuff and the fact that it's not medical also it's just like cosmetic has an extra element of like this is a little bit uncomfy but the fact is that like they're always I mean anyone I've been to has been so professional about it And we were just having normal conversations like as she's like so what are you doing this weekend? I was like I got some homework. I got to get done like and you're completely spread eagle

Yeah, I mean it's just the one thing that's a little bit more weird is that is the booty part? Did they do your booty? I thought they I thought oh, okay, have you spread? What are they? What? They have you doing it. Yeah, it's so good. They're like, keep her cheeks. I know some people they have you like, I didn't have to do this, but some people have to like hold their legs and stuff and like do weird positions. Oh my gosh. They shouldn't have me do all that. That would be such, wouldn't that be the weirdest job in the world? You're like, all right, can you please spread your cheek? I mean, yeah, I think that those people that go into it are just like, get me used to really fast.

Those people don't get paid enough, or maybe they do. Maybe they actually get paid really well. Well, that's actually very expensive to get laser. And Brazilian, I feel like it's probably not- Wait, maybe these people are making six figures and we just have no idea. And they just, huh, wow, okay, I mean usually like lasers like at a med spa like it's like True, yeah, yeah Brazilian

Yeah, they probably aren't paid enough. Let's be real our periods really that bad Which I know you've kind of gone a long time without having a period if you you've gotten your period back, is your period officially back now postpartum? No. Cause I thought you were bleeding a little bit but that was just a different thing. From the IUD. Oh, it's from the IUD. Got it.

Yeah. Periods. I don't know. I'm sure for some women it's really, really bad. I've heard stories about how it's terrible, terrible, terrible. So yeah, I guess I think they really are that bad. By the way, I'm really digging your look today.

It looks, you have like the fresh out of bed look, but the hair, like the messy bun is really cute. I think it just looks, yeah, I really like the messy bun. I like it when your hair's up. My dad actually always liked it when my mom had her hair up, and I totally get that from my dad, because I love it when your hair's up. Especially when you have a clip in,

I'm just like, are you kidding me? Are you like to clip? Okay, I was gonna do that, but my hair's just so, so, so, so I think. Yeah, the other day you were like chilling in our, like on our bed and you'd happen to not have a top on and you were had a hair and a clip and I was like, I've never seen anything more beautiful in my life. I remember that.

You remember that? I took a picture of you. Oh my gosh. What was the question in periods? Oh, I, for me, they weren't bad, but I know for a lot of women, it is really bad. So yeah, I feel like you just have to take, you have to trust that woman that like their experience is how it is. I believe it.

I believe it. I believe it. Okay, about periods though, because they are bad, did you like having an IUD because you stopped getting a period? Yeah. So that was actually better. So you liked having an IUD because you stopped getting a period? Yeah. So that was actually better. So you liked having an IUD as opposed to. But even though my period's weren't bad, I mean, I still had symptoms of PMS.

I still had to deal with it like. But did you feel, okay, would you say the IUD even changed your hormones at all? I didn't notice like a huge difference like some people do. How did you convince your entire family to move to Arizona? Great question. I have babies and then people will come. Wait actually that's a genius plan. Okay so if you're getting married and you're like I want to live in New Jersey. I don't know why I just thought of New Jersey. I've actually never been there but if you're like I want to live in New Jersey, I live in the state of Washington,

move to New Jersey, get married, start having kids, and then your family will move. It's really that simple people. I also think that like for so many members of our family, they were in a natural stage where their life was in transition. Yeah. Like my parents were recent empty nesters, looking for a job shift and your brother and his wife were,

like, in a flexible state with their job and we're looking for like where they wanted to set down roots as a family. And my brother is graduating college right now. And then like we'll be looking to set down roots somewhere and start a job also. And so like all the members of our family that have moved out were already in a stage of natural transition. So that just worked out really well.

I mean, obviously we didn't come out here being like our family has to follow us. We came out here because this is where we wanted to be and like start our family. And then naturally everyone started to come too. I mean, truly how we ended up out here though is pretty random because we said some friends living out here and when we had some friends in Utah and we actually were about to move to Utah.

We were looking at houses in Utah and then we just kind of randomly decided on here. Honestly, part of it was peer pressure from family. Not that they did anything wrong but they did say that they would probably have visited us more if we lived in Phoenix because the weather's like warm in the winter time. Yeah, I mean, I'm gonna leave them at West and they don't wanna go to more cold weather. Yeah, and I think there's cheaper flights

into Phoenix too, so they just said we could visit you more. And now they're all moving here, so. And I love it here, and so having, like I love this location and having the people I love the most here too, like I could not feel more blessed. Like it just makes me so happy. Our life is so busy now, but I feel like busyness is not bad when the things that you're filling your days with are so fulfilling.

And spending time with families probably like the most fulfilling thing you can do. Spending time with family or loved ones, it's really working out well. Very full house too. Our house is like a commune. So it felt weird when we bought our house. Like we're like, why do we need a four bedroom for two people? And now like we have completely filled it. Like every we use every single room in our house every single day because we have six people living here. And we have guests all the time. We always have guest staying with us. People over for dinner like literally every night. We have like gatherings like yeah our house is like a big our house is like a gathering place for

a lot of people and I love that. Which is so nice and I think that's like what a home is supposed to be for. Exactly. It's either I if I had to pick between the two would be like either one at home that's really tiny so it's not a whole lot to maintain. You don't have a bunch of stuff. Right right right. I love that. Or a home that has the size to fill it with people and gather together and be together. Yeah. So that's the stage that we're at now and it's super, super fun. Do you feel flattered when other men flirt with you? Like we got... Literally never happens. But I feel like it does. I feel like you've been cat-called before.

Like even when we've been living in theaters. Are we gonna really call that flirting? I thought you said okay? I just think you remember you were this like you know form fitting dress when you're pregnant and you were looking like a hot thing And then you said some dudes were like eyeing you up. Honestly, if you're gonna flirt with a pregnant woman I'm gonna question you yeah, that is weird if you're feeling like because that's pretty much a question you. Yeah, that is weird if you're feeling more comfortable with that. Like because that's pretty much a visual indicator in most circumstances. I'm not saying all, but a lot of circumstances that you have been in your relationship of some kind. That's pretty committed. So that's weird. But no, I'm literally never flirted with. And

you know what? I actually thought about this recently. I'm like, should I be offended? But I also realize I'm not ever in a circumstance where flirting or making new relationships is common. Like I'm not going to the bars or the clubs. And if I'm going somewhere like out at night, it's with you. Remember in Hawaii, you got maybe before we had kids, but like you got flirted with at the grocery store. The cashier and he was like in high school and he thought that you were totally like 19. Yeah, I mean was I I guess that one's flattering because he's and you gave him your number to.

That's so funny. So funny. Abby was just nervous and gave it to him and like I'm like you know, it's not intimidating. It's a situation where it's like, I'm so caught off guard and I'm just like, oh yeah, and then I'm sure other people can relate to that. Well, you're so kind that you didn't want to give him a fake number and then him be like,

oh, I'm gonna text you right now and then it not be real. I was so caught off guard. I was like not thinking to give. I've never had an instance where I've given someone a fake number, Never done that before. I just gave him my number. He was harmless. He was clearly harmless.

Yeah. And I was just not gonna respond and he invited me to a party. And that was it. Should we talk about the guy in college that you gave your number to as well? Oh my gosh. What is this project? I'm with that guy because then he was like asking if you'd sleep over at your place. Yes.

Before we were married. Yeah, we were dating. We were about to get engaged. And then I got his number from you and I texted him kind of like a power move. I just said, hey, Joe or whatever's name was, I'm like, this is Abby's boyfriend. If you need a place to crash now,

you can sleep with me. Which I also feel bad about because I could have just told him there that I had a boyfriend. I think I just was like rarely in circumstances where that stuff would happen. So like now I would feel a lot more confident in like, being like, oh, like obviously now I'm like, I'd so easily be like, I'm married.

This is a really good question. Is it okay for people and relationships to dance with people of the opposite sex? Actually, at like a club or a dance floor situation. I guess you're right. I think this setting makes a big difference because like the club, no. But you were at the club and you did dance with him.

But that was a different, it's a partner dancing club. It was a, it was called Club rodeo. It was a club rodeo, it was Springfield. Which is very, that place toes aligned so much because it'll go from being like a two step with a partner to being like regular pop club music. Yeah. And I don't know why I might if it's a partner dance song, then it's like fine.

Yeah. Which like I don't care at the time. And I think it also matters because you don't care. Yeah. And it also is, it depends. Because if you were like, if I was like, oh, I think it's fine to dance with this random guy for a partner dance at a club, but if you were uncomfortable with it,

then it wouldn't be okay for me to do it. It's weird though, because now that I think about it, there is something kind of romantic about dancing. Like it is kind of, I don't know. There's something kind of sweet about it. We're sure you're holding someone close. Yeah, you're holding their body close to yours. We can play. Yeah, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, you know. Yeah. Anyway, I was involved with it. It was a friend's 21st birthday party. How do you guys have blank with two kids and a family living with you in a similar boat love you too? Half blank. Half sex. Matthew. I said I just try to keep it appropriate.

I said. I was the delivery of it. How do you guys have blank? I mean, very much like anyone else would. Since becoming parents, it's way easier to do the deed during the day. I think that we have more energy to just say, find the time. To find time during the day. And it's just way better because I'm not tired. Abby's not tired.

There's not this pressure of like, oh my gosh, I have to wake up at 5.30 with our toddler who's gonna probably wake up early in the morning. And then you're, you like don't want to do it because of all that. So we find that it's just better to find the time during the day. Yep. How does Abby nurse in public using a shield? What's interesting is that I used to always, always, always be sure to use a cover with our first. And then I think since I've been nursing for like a year and a half straight now at this point, I just kind of figured out a way to make it more conspicuous without a cover, if that makes sense, and I know outfits to wear that are going to make it more easier to do

that in public. Like if they're looser than I can just kind of drape it around the baby's head. Yeah, I think that I just find myself not using a cover as much anymore because they're just kind of restoring me. They really frustrate the baby more importantly. I just make it happen. And then also I think there's something that about me that's just like gotten to this point where I'm like, it's not in modest to nurse your baby in public. You're just feeding your baby. Yes. And so, um, and I find that everyone usually around us, like they might look for a second because they're just like what's going on over there,

and that's not disrespectful, but then once they realize what's going on, they just respectfully look away. Yeah. And I haven't had an issue. I really haven't. Totally. I saw this woman though on TikTok.

She started recording because this man approached her car in like a parking garage and was yelling at her. And a parking garage. And a parking garage. And he's like, you should not be doing that in public. There are children out here. And like, he actually is nursing her baby in her car. In her car.

If I'm nursing our baby in our car, I'm not even caring about covering up, was the time. The very frustrating, like that's never happened to me. So I feel like that's a rare instance, but in the case of that happens, that's pretty outrageous. You're feeding your baby.

You're feeding your baby. And also, I've realized the more I've gotten older, how weird it is in Western culture that we've sexualized women topless. It's so weird. And it was mad again. No, but in other countries, it's not a thing. Especially in certain tribal cultures,

women don't wear shirts, men don't wear shirts. It's just a cool girl thing. And it's not weird because they just grow up saying that. And I'm sure there's women that could think it's really attractive with a man that has a good looking chest and men have the same thing for women. For me, it's really attractive with a man that has a good looking chest and men have the same thing for women. For me, it's a comfort thing.

I feel like while cooking or something, I could get a weird burn. Or like... Actually, I almost burnt my nipple off. It was seven years old. You don't want those exposed for your own comfort pain. This is why I should wear a shirt more. It was really painful to us cooking pancakes and I got too close to the pan. I was really short and so I leaned in to go flip the pancake

and I'd literally almost burnt my eyeball. Well, think about it. If you... God, actual breasts that can move around. Well, you're seven, you're not that pretty. I know I'm saying think, like, if that happened to you, with your physique, but imagine a female physique,

especially when that's nursed. Like they could get into all sorts of trouble. I believe it. But I think it's like, I wouldn't want to be the trend set or an art culture because that would just make our life more comfortable, but it is so weird that we put all this pressure on women. I don't know.

You're to hear first folks, Matt's part of the Freedom Nipple movement. And I'll be honest like, I'm happy for you, Matt. I am, and I actually, what's funny about this dude is I used to think it was crazy. I like, when I was a kid, I was like, free the nipple that's so freaking stupid. And now I'm actually like, I actually support it.

No, man. Cause I think it's stupid. I think it's like why? I'm gonna find yourself going on a parade march. Part of it too is I realize like, I hate wearing a shirt So if I was a woman I would I would be like why don't you freaking wear a shirt all the time? I don't like I don't like wearing shirts. Do you like me not wearing a shirt?

Yeah, I just used to it at this point um, okay Which is kind of what you're saying. I'm used to it at this point So then it's not necessarily like I'm always Losing you when you're not wearing a shirt. I really wear, I've realized this, I've been wearing shirts more than ever before. And part of it, I think is being a dad and then part of it is we no longer live in Hawaii. Why is being a dad making you wear a shirt more?

Maybe just, actually, that's a good question. No, I don't know, actually I don't really know why I'm wearing a shirt. It's really more functional as a dad to not wear a shirt because think of all the things that can get on it. That's true. Yeah, that's true. What are your guys thoughts on toys specifically for couples? Wow, my head just went somewhere to a time I had baby toys.

Baby toys. I love them. But I feel like they just like regular stuff better. No, it's funny. Our kids do get into everything other than their toys. Like Griffin will play the box. Well, not me, but Griffin. Yeah, not all you. Griffin loves everything. Yeah.

What are, wait, what's the, what are my thoughts on toys for couples? Toys for couples. Are you supportive of that? Um, just have fun. We've actually never gotten into that. I don't know why. I guess we're just, we're that good at it.

We don't even really need any other support. I mean, yeah, that're that good at it. We don't even really need any other I mean yeah, that's a brag or anything. I don't need to give my own preferences, but I believe that Sure, whatever you need to keep it fun. Yeah, keep it exciting keep it fun Keep it excited. Maybe we should just do it just for fun just for fun. These okay Well, we ever do role play. Would you ever do that? Okay for fun, just for fun, Ziz. Okay. Well, we ever do role play, would you ever do that? No, I don't think that's a laughing man. So, when I see that movie for Christmas, they do this whole role play scene

to open up the movie and it is hilarious. And it actually makes me want to do that with you. I'm like, not in public, but like, I'm like, that would be, I'm like inspired by them. No, I was literally start laughing. They're a fake couple, but I think it's so funny that he's like pretending to be a nerd and she's pretending to be the sassy chick

and then the nerd has his crazy side that pops out when he just says, be out talking to you and then they just do it. Yeah. I don't know, you have to see the movie. I honestly, Matt, I think it's good for a movie but in real life, like how would that be so weird? I don't know.

It'd be fun. Hey, we actually went to school for acting, so I feel like we'd be pretty good at it. Oh my. This episode is sponsored by Manscapes. Matt, what has been a highlight of 2023 for you? Probably shaving my chest. Why?

Can we start that over? I think we need to keep that. I really do feel more confident when I am Manscaped. Abby has noticed that when I get a little too hairy, my belly button traps Lent in it, and it's kind of nasty. Would you say that you have any hygiene, slash grooming resolutions for 2024 for yourself?

Maybe I should make it like a monthly thing, like rather than waiting until it gets too crazy, and then I have to pull out all the ManScape tools, maybe I should just have like a monthly maintenance day, you know? Like your lawn care potentially. Yeah, it's like it's like lawn care except for my body. No, like it literally is because the MVP of 2024 for manscaped is their fifth generation lawn mower. It's not just a trimmer. It's your grooming sidekick equipped with two skin-safe blade heads, a standard one for taking a little off the top and a new foil blade to go smooth Wherever your heart desires. Wow Matt, you tend to go smooth all over pretty much except for

Joe man-shape is trusted by over ten million men worldwide and now is your time to get a grip on your grooming with our exclusive offer You can get 20% off and You spill coffee all over yourself? Ouch, it's actually hot. Oh my gosh. Abby, what are you doing? I'm so excited about this offer. Okay, 20% off and free shipping with the code unplannedatmanscaped.com

because nothing says happy new year like a deal that leaves your balls and your budget feeling refreshed. Yes, I did just say balls. Embrace a new you and definitely embrace a new trimmer, Cursey of Manscapes. You don't even have any balls. Don't even say that. I got more balls than you. Okay, all right, back to the episode. I'm covered in latte. Okay, well marriage ever be the same after kids. The same, I think in general your marriage will never be the same as it was several years down the line. I think that kids change it more drastically.

But like, our marriage is going to evolve regardless of children. Yes. And it should. And so I think that's also why I think when there's all these pressures before you get married to like have everything in place. Like think about it. They say you need to find someone that's financially stable. There's so many life factors down like through marriage.

Like, like, now there's things you can look at, like how do they treat money in general? But like there's so many things that can happen, you know, five, 10, 20 plus years into marriage where financial stability might not be there, yet that's not grounds for divorce most of the time. So like, I'm just saying like,

your marriage will evolve. The person you're married to will change. Yeah. Now, wait question. Do you think financial stability would ever be grounds for divorce? I think if serious gambling is a part of it, yes. Or just like pure carelessness with finances.

Like you have a family and your spouse is spending all the money. Now I think it would have to be Be courageous. Yeah, it would have to be like probably the most severe could ever be But if you find out that your spouse has been gambled like has gotten you into Like thousands and thousands of dollars of debt and gambling behind your back Just like you say about that. It's indicative of a larger issue in your marriage So maybe it's not the financial aspect alone,

but it's indicative of like, like, secret keeping and like, just like, not being trustworthy in general. Or someone just spent your money, like say you are the one working and then you made all this money and they just like blew it on, like say you couldn't buy a house

or you couldn't pay rent. Like I could see that would be- If it was a one time thing, I think that would be not appropriate but yeah. There's so many like I have to think the more that I get older I'm like there is nothing that seems black and white in my mind. Yeah. But um. Now you're totally right. But I think there's a very rare circumstance where it could be. Do you think the kids will be your first priority always and not the husband that was just always and not the husband? That was just their wording in the question.

I don't know why you'd say priority because I feel like there's, I don't know a circumstance where I would have to choose you over the kids or the kids over you. I think it is a trap that a lot of couples fall into though. I think you love your kids. You love your kids so freaking much that a lot of

people make the mistake of prioritizing their children over their spouse when actually you should do the opposite. And I think it's better for your kids for you to. Well, let's say your spouse isn't like I think you're I have a hard time answering this question because you prioritize our children also. So then I can of course I can feel comfortable prioritizing you, quote unquote, because you also have our children's interest in mind. Yeah. Now, if you were a spouse that like, I don't know, like completely didn't like disregard it our children, then I don't think I think I would have to prioritize our children. And so I have the freedom of choosing to spend time with you over our kids at times because

I know that you're also have our kids best interests in mind. And so I have the freedom to like make our marriage a priority at times also. That's good. So no and I think that we're also in a stage where the kids are more demanding than they probably will ever be because they are so so young and then it'll just look different with every stage of life. Next question is weight loss tips slash easy meals to cook at home in college? Well, I don't have weight loss tips. I feel like that might come across wrong, but I think finding something active to do for yourself that is sustainable for you and sustainable usually means it has to be something you enjoy most of the time.

Then find that. For me that's group fitness and going to a class because it has a set time for me. I can see other people and they've already made the workout and I enjoy that. That is what's sustainable for me. Find what's sustainable for you. Food wise, you know what? I should come up with like five to ten staple meals that we have that are affordable, healthy and easy. Dude, you should make a cookbook. You'd be so good at that. I found a good amount of recipes in our marriage that I'm like, this is healthy, quick, and affordable. And they're on your head.

You have them memorized. It's pretty impressive. Thanks. Off the top of my head for like most soups are really affordable, easy and healthy. Soups, tacos, whether that's shrimp, chicken, um, shrimp I know sounds like not as affordable but if you get it from Costco it's actually really affordable and if you get it frozen. Um, tacos, uh, grilling, any type of grilling meat, really easy and affordable. Yeah, I'll get some together and share them.

I have a highlight on my Instagram already, but I don't know how updated it is. So I'll try to post some more by the time this episode gets out and put it on that highlight so you can check my Instagram highlight down the line. Maybe I'll come up with a cookbook or something. This next question is when we've actually never talked about before. Abby, what is your body count? Oh my gosh. I've never talked about this before.

We've never said this on social media. I don't want to say... Do you want to reveal it? It's one. I'm not trying to say that if your body count is more than one, let's just not change anything about you as a person. So... Yeah. What's... Means about you as a person. So, yeah. Let's-

Means that you're number one. Yeah. Does that mean that I'm number one then too? Is that your number one? I, my body count is also number one. It's also what. Well, that's not even funny. Why am I laughing?

That's so stupid. I think it's just hilarious. That's hilarious. Yes, we have only dated each other. Abby actually went on dates with a lot of other guys I feel like we've said this a million times so people probably already know this but yeah You've been I honestly feel like that was such a rare experience like now high schoolers are not going on dates It's actually so sad because I just saw this so fun

Dating is a dying art people are just like going on to Tinder and hooking up And that's it. I think, I think nowadays, like all, everyone's just talking on Snapchat. And then people, and then people like have a thing but they don't really know what it is. Yes. And it's like, oh, I kind of like her. She kind of likes me.

But it's not taken seriously. We define that relationship. Yes. Dating culture in general needs to be revamped. And Romance decides. We're gonna teach our boys to. We can romanticize dating culture again. Yeah, there's no romance nowadays.

It's messed up. I love romance. Yeah, I hate when you go out, you just see everyone's on their phone and everyone is using. Like if you're at a restaurant, I hate when you look over at the family next to you and every single adult is on their phone

and every kid is on an iPad. And it's just like, what's this world that we're living in? Like why even go to the restaurant? Why not just order food and send your room alone and be on their phone and every kid is on an iPad. And it's just like, what's this world that we're living in? Like why even go to the restaurant? Why not just order food and send your room alone and be on your phone? You know what I'm saying? I honestly make a phone really. It's kind of dark and I see myself falling to that trap

of just going to my phone all the time. Because- No, I actually recently just, I mean, I've always been aware of this, but really strictly recently. And it sounds so crazy even say, but this is just how bad it's gotten. Like any downtime, I would get on my phone. And now, like literally yesterday,

I was at the pediatrician with Ogi, and I was just holding him, and I was like, I'm really tempted in this waiting room right now to scroll on my phone. Yeah. And then I was like, no, I'm gonna talk to the woman next to me. I talked to the woman next to me. No way!

And then I got in the room by myself with Ogi. And I was like, I could scroll right now. I was like, nope, I'm gonna watch this little movie that they're playing. They're playing Sing2. And I was like, this is so sweet. I was just like enjoying my atmosphere more and noticing things.

And it's like, why have I like let myself enter this fog? And I feel like I was not terrible at this, but then I realized it's like, man, I let myself enter this fog? And I feel like I was not terrible at this, but then I realized it's like, man, I had a lot of room for improvement here once I started doing that. So. You know how we know it's bad is when we consider watching a movie as the good wholesome thing to do.

You know? Like the less stimulating. We've talked about that. But it really is, I think it is a lot better for your brain to watch a movie than to just scroll. Because you're getting dopamine hit, dopamine hit, dopamine hit with every new crazy, you know, car crash video that comes up on your phone. Every single bit of content these days is so over-simulating and all on your face. It's like all made to hook you and draw you in.

I think it's wrong when you do not respond to texts, but you're on social media, like posting or at least scrolling and like viewing things. Yeah. Like I have been guilty of that, but now I'm like no more. That is not okay. Like I need to get back with my people. Yeah.

Like that I'm actually corresponding with it rather than just like looking at stories and stuff. Yeah. Cause that's happened to me and I've also done that before too, and that's not cool. Okay, next one is, does size matter? And I'm guessing they're meaning muscle size, probably do you like skinny guys

or like jacked dudes, you know what I'm saying? I feel like it's just like I like you, so I can't even think about this. I love how we just completely dodge the question, and it's going, well it applies everywhere. Okay, yeah, we just completely completely dodge the question and it's going well it applies everywhere okay yeah we're talking about all the sizes I'm just saying like I think all those things are so end up being so trivial because like the person you fall in love with you fall in love with

them at that exact snapchat in their lives and they're gonna change like your body is gonna change so much yeah and things are just gonna get different use it's like it was never that that you fell in love with in the first place. And if it was, then you're not gonna stay together. Exactly. So like size appearance, like all those things, like, of course, I'm initially attracted that. But like the reason I'm staying in love with you and staying with you has nothing to do with that. Do girls still want more traditional ship-a-risk acts, like the door held open for them? See, pulled out, ETC. I mean, yeah, the door held open, I really like. And honestly, kind of, if I'm in public and I'm walking out, especially if I have a stroll or something, and someone doesn't hold the door,

they just kind of let it close right in front of me. I'm a little bit like, hmm. But that goes for male or female, honestly. I can hold the door open. What do you do when you're like at a restaurant and then someone holds the door open for you, but they were technically in front of you. So then you let them go in front of you

after they hold the door open for you. Does that make sense? Like you're going to Chipotle, you're gonna go get your burrito and someone's in front of you. So they're clearly, they have the right of way, they should get their burrito before you, but they open the door. Oh, and then you go ahead.

I think you should let them order first. Yeah, but then there's been times where I haven't done that and then I feel bad. I'm like, oh crap, I should totally should have let them go back in front of me. Yeah, it's a gray area. It's weird. Probably, probably technically should let them order first.

Yeah, was the first time scary? I'm waiting and scared to death. I didn't feel scared because I felt so, so, so comfortable with you. Yeah. I wasn't scared at all. I was excited. I think it's normal to be scared of something that's a totally new experience though.

Yeah. But then I also, you need to ask yourself where is that fear coming from. Is it because you don't trust the person you're going to be with? Or is it just because it's a new experience? So I think it's normal if that fear is coming from a healthy place. How do you have mom friends as a mom? It's something that I am struggling with. You have to be intentional and then that sounds like such a general answer, but I've realized at times in my life I'm like, oh I'm so sad, I don't want to hang out and I'm like, have I asked anybody to hang out? Like, yes. You have to be forward with that because and then like more people like it's just a give and take like any

Relationship, but sometimes maybe you have to put yourself out there a little bit more especially with other mom friends because they're also in that foggy space like you are and trying to meet all the needs of their babies and balancing all schedules and everything and it's hard to get out the door all those same things so be intentional just say hey I really wish we could spend more time together yeah is there like a weekly thing we can come up with? Like we could grab coffee on Thursday mornings and like let our kids play around. You just have to be intentional and also have to balance. Like you have to know that there are thing he met their kids also. So if you can find something

that includes their babies as well. I can so relate to that because I've been in the same boat. Like, why does nobody want to hang out with me? And I just realized, wait, I never, I'm not inviting anybody to anything. Like, why do nobody want to hang out with me? And I just realized, wait, I never, I'm not inviting anybody to anything. Why do I expect other people to invite me? So you have to take the initiative. Friends are really important. Yes, so important, especially into adulthood. I feel like a lot of parents forget about that. It's easy to have friends in college because they're always around you. And high school, you have

people around you all the time. And it's just easy to make those friends. But especially people that like work from home, I think it can be easy just to stay home all day and never go out and never socialize. And that is not a good thing to do. How do you deal with family members that you don't necessarily get along with? I really can't relate to that.

I don't know if I'm the person to give advice on that. Yeah, you are really good at getting along with really everybody. I feel like I have just a lot of good people in my life though. Yeah. Man, I mean like I have just a lot of good people in my life though. Yeah. Man, I mean, I think with family, you have to handle it differently than a friend, understanding that this is a relationship you're going to have to, in most circumstances, you're going to have to make it work. So maybe just keeping the peace and letting some things go.

Have a, have not just keeping the peace because there's circumstances where it's like, okay, you definitely need to speak up. But having a wider gap of things that you will tolerate before you approach a conversation, probably you need to give them a wide berth with family. And then I think it just totally depends on the relationship and the dynamic.

So I don't know. Yeah, also just to brag on you for a second, you are really, really good about being fully present with family. Hey. Like very empathetic with everyone. You're great at like holding conversation with literally, and like you are just in general a great person to talk to.

And I think it's, I take it for granted sometimes how good you are with my family. Like sometimes you dominate the conversation more than I do. Actually a lot of times you do. Like you just, you take on the conversation, maybe I like zone out and my brain goes to La La Land or something and like you're there being fully intentional, fully present.

So I just, I think you're really great at just socializing. I don't know, you're good at that. Thank you. That's really- That's really- And my family loves you. I don't know. You're good at that. Thank you. And my family loves you. You're just like you're so good with my family. That's so sweet. What's more of a turn-off? A guy's ego or their laziness? Ego. I just I mean I cannot. I just can't. I think that that's a turn-off. Not just that's for anyone in general. I think that I mean, I don't, I truly don't think that anyone is special enough to look down on another person. Like, we're all people.

There's not anything about your life. There's not money. There's not status. There's not popularity, fame, nothing, nothing that can make, that can elevate you to a different level of humanity. Yes. that can elevate you to a different level of humanity. Yes, I agree. I think we've especially learned this with being in the realm of social media. I also think this goes for people that might be viewed

as like lower status in life too. Like if you don't have a house, don't have a job. If you are in prison, like there's nothing there that has made you lower, like you're still a human. Yeah. And yeah, I don't know. Sorry. No, you're good.

It's really sad though, because I think we've met more and more people now that have this elevated ego because of social media, because of followers, because of whatever. But very few. It's still the few that make it like- And it's those few people that have that ego that kind of ruin it for the others. Like that's why. That's why any field of work. That's true.

That's true. That really does go in any career path. Yeah, I think initially we were blown away by how genuine all these creators were that we were meeting. And then we eventually met people that had elevated egos and thought they were really, really special. And then we realized, ah, that's why this stigma or this idea of an influencer thinking they're really special and great.

That's why that exists because of those people. It's easy to happen in this career because you have people that are like praising you abnormal, and you can directly compare. It's easy to happen I guess easier than some but it happens across the board honestly Yeah, and that's another thing that I really like about you is you're just so genuine to everyone That's very interesting. And you you just like it you would be kind to anybody doesn't matter how How much money they make doesn't matter how much money they make, doesn't matter, like literally anything at all.

It doesn't matter what they look like, doesn't matter who their family is, where they're from. I don't know, I just think that's the type of person that we should all be, is just treating everyone with the exact same respect. Do you prefer dadbots? I would like full on jackbots. And I'm honestly asking this for me

because I feel like I've started to slip into more of the dad bod look. No, you don't. A little bit more. You don't have that. You don't have that bod at all. I've seen so like men, I think, more so than women, they're fat like ghost, they're belly.

And I've like noticed my belly has definitely gotten bigger since high school, which I have gotten, I would say, more muscular since high school. I feel a lot of pressure though. I feel like a lot of pressure right now to really take my fitness seriously because at 25, we're in our peak physical state.

Like our bodies are never going to be healthier and more apt to build muscle and be fit. And so, if we want to be looking good, like now's the time. Now's the time for me to get my butt to the gym and lift. Thank you. But I feel a lot of pressure there. Yeah. I don't

really have any answer for that one other than your bod. How do you politely tell a guy that you're not interested? Gosh, I was pretty bad at this honestly. So I'm and this was just high school obviously since we've been together for so long. But it's so, so hard. I think a lot of women by nature are people pleasers. So then telling them something that they're not going to want to hear is like so hard But as hard as it is for you, I think out of respect for yourself, like your own time and energy and then also the other person you gotta just tell it truthfully, yeah, and kindly and also like what is it with ghosting people? I don't even get this So why would you just why would you just like if you've talked with someone for so long? I hear this story all the time and I honestly think it's men more so but I have the decency it doesn't have to be a long thing

Just say it depends on the relationship once again like how long it's been But if it's just a short thing and you're like decided you don't actually wanna date this person, just be like, hey, I've really enjoyed the time we've spent together. I don't see this being, like having a future, but I really think you, for the time you've had, like I had a lot of fun. I don't know, I think a lot of women do that too. I think gocing is just common in our culture.

It's easier. It's way easier to go somebody. I think it's cowardly. It's respectful. To just tell them to their face, hey, I don't see this relationship going anywhere. It's way easier to go. I think it's cowardly. Then it is. It's respectful. To just tell them to their face, hey, I don't see this relationship going anywhere. Because that's uncomfortable.

And I get it, like you don't want to be rude. But I think there's a kind way to say it. Or you can even say, like, I don't think this is unkind. It should be like, I think that the way you like me is not the way that I feel about you. The way that you feel about me is not the way I feel about you. And then, yeah. Yeah, and I think you can even use the method of like saying a compliment

and then actually giving them the real news. You know, so it's like not as bad. You just don't just come out and say like, hey, I don't see this going anywhere. Yeah, well, like I said, like, I enjoy this time. You can be like, I think you're an amazing person. So then they're like, wow, they think I'm amazing. And then you say, but I just don't see us like in a romantic setting going anywhere and they're like, wow, they think I'm amazing. And then you say, but I just don't see us

like in a romantic setting going anywhere and they're like, okay, that makes me sad. But at least I think I'm awesome. I think that you would make a great partner. Yeah, for someone, but I just don't see that being me. Yeah. And I just wanted to tell this to you because I think I owe you the respect of saying that.

Yeah. Does a man's job profession change how attractive you find them? I mean at a superficial level. Yes, if I was just be honest I were a fireman you would think I was like super sick. Yes, I Think there's something very attractive about people working in that room. What's the least attractive profession? There's probably a couple you could name. I feel like right now you're like oh, I would definitely not want to do some guy I think honestly having a job like that now you're like, oh, I would definitely not want to do some guy. No, I think honestly having a job like that alone is very attractive. Unemployed is the least attractive profession probably.

Yes, I'm given circumstances. Unemployed is probably not the most attractive. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I, when I fell in love with you, that you were unemployed. So I take that back. True. I think, actually, I do think I know what the least attractive

a profession would be for you. I think it'd be like investment banking. Why? Because I think some of those guys have inflated egos. This is just stereotyping, but I think if you had an ego, which you hate. Dude, I think influencer would probably think the most inflated egos.

Yes, but then at the same time, I think there's so many, there's been such a shift in the creator economy Where there's so many creators that are like very genuine and like people don't want to put up with it Like if you have an ego that like I don't even want to watch you. Yeah, it's not it's not fun to watch someone who's full of themselves but um, I think like investment baking There's a serious type of having ego plus those guys work so many hours like they would just not spend any time with you That would be hard with you I think if you were married to a fireman though, Abby, I think you'd hate being away from

them for days on end. No, because I think firemen have to work. No, it hasn't. I mean, that would be terrible, but they also, like, they are off for longer periods of time. Yeah. What about a police officer? Is that the same level as a fireman? I think I'd also be fearful though.

Oh, you would. I'm sure those, like, people listening to this that spouse is in like firefighter cops like all those dangerous professions. I would be very scared all the time. That would be yeah. I think I'm over I'm definitely overglamorizing that and that I really appreciate those people serving their communities in that realm because that is such a sacrifice. What do you think of me being a tick tocker for my profession? Is that super hot? I think I don't view you that way, honestly,

and I don't view our mind of work that way. Like, it's our life. And so, maybe if it was a different niche, it would be like, oh, you're a tick tocker. Dude, you've probably been putting in the work on the tick tock. Like, I've been taken it back seat. You've been doing all these vlogs on TikTok.

I'm impressed. They're very off the cuff. You're really good. You don't give yourself enough credit with how natural you are on camera. Like you're just so good at it. I get nervous every time still. I've been making videos for my job for like four years

and I still get nervous. I don't know why. Anyway. It's because you realize there's a lot of eyeballs on it and that's like, we are cracking. I think I'm just dissociating. You're also really good at public speaking. Like you're so, so good at that.

I would be for your next event. You should. I have you so good at school. In seven. Abby won speech competitions and went to Colorado when she was a kid because she won a speech competition. We got to rock this up because I'm headed to the airport.

Abby's going to Vegas. Spam the comments with half fun in Vegas Abby. And as always, 3, 2, 1. Peace out dudes!