The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby - Carlo & Sarah on Marrying an Italian, Language Barriers & Living with My Parents
Episode Date: March 20, 2024Carlo & Sarah join us to discuss their unique marriage between an American and an Italian. They share the language barriers they've encountered in their relationship and the humorous awkwardness of l...iving with their parents after getting married. Join us for a candid and entertaining conversation! This episode was sponsored by Hiya, BetterHelp & Lume. Hiya: Go to https://hiyahealth.com/UNPLANNED and receive 50% off your first order. Get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. BetterHelp: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/unplannedpodcast and get on your way to being your best self. Lume: Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off of your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code UNPLANNED at https://LumeDeodorant.com! #lumepod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Best Western made booking our family beach vacation a breeze, and it felt a little like...
Good night, kid. Good night, mama.
Life's a trip.
Make the most of it at Best Western.
Crypto is like the financial system, but different.
It doesn't care where you come from, what you look like, your credit score, or your
outrageous food delivery habits.
Crypto is finance for everyone, everywhere, all the time. Crack in. See what crypto can be. In Italy, we eat pizza with french fries.
Yeah, they eat french fries and hot dog pizza.
And I'm like, do you want to come at me?
And it's called a bacon pizza.
You put hot dogs on pizza? Yeah, but they want to come at me? You put hot dogs on pizza?
Yeah, but they want to come at us for using pineapple on pizza.
Why pineapple? He's a freaking fruit eater.
We lived on the third floor and my parents are under us.
One morning, my dad came downstairs and was like, could you guys be a little quieter?
Oh, gosh. You don't move the wrist.
Real Italians don't move the wrist.
No, it's like.
It's like I try on TikTok wherever it goes like this.
I'm like, no, no, no. When he said it in an argument, it translated as F.U. I went move the wrist. No, it's okay. It's like a try on tik tok wherever goes like this I'm like, no, no, no when he said it in an argument it translated as f you
Oh, I went off the handle and that was like, oh, give me a second. That cost a big fight. Yeah
I was like, why did he just say that to me?
I've never been told that and they were shocked because they didn't say nothing
We sat down with tiktokers carlo and sarah who have a love story fit for a movie
They met in italy while sarah was on on vacation at Carlo's family-owned beach club.
You've probably seen some of their pranks,
like the time Sarah cracked spaghetti noodles
over a pot of boiling water
to get a true Italian reaction out of him.
After nearly friend-doning each other over Google Translate,
the two have hurtled through many language barriers,
cultural differences,
and even living with their in-laws as newlyweds.
We talk about all this and so much more in today's episode.
Welcome back to Unplanned. We are so stoked you guys are here. We have Carlo and Sarah with us.
Can we just give it up? They flew all the way from Boston to be here in Phoenix. Carlo,
what did you call Phoenix earlier? I was sure that it was phonics. I always say phonics.
We landed actually a clip of it. He's like, all excited. He's like, we finally made was phonics. I always say phonics. We landed actually a clip of it.
He's like, all excited.
He's like, we finally made the phonics.
Yeah, it was check because they say,
oh, we discovered another state.
So it's on a check phonics check.
That makes me laugh because I know for a fact,
if I was learning a different language
or like ever learned another language,
I would mess up the words nonstop.
Like I totally would.
And it made me think about you guys, I was like,
I wonder if there's been any funny situations that came up,
like uncomfortable situations or something
like where you almost got in danger because of a language
barrier or a culture.
We should say that they flew in from Boston.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You're not originally from Boston.
They can't tell by the accent.
I'm not a Boston native.
Not at all.
I come't tell. I'm not a Boston native. Not at all. I come from Italy. I was born in Italy and this is a little region in southern Italy and when I come here everything
was completely new to me and the language, forget about it.
Oh my goodness.
The language was...
And so you started learning English at what age?
Okay, wait.
How old were you?
There is a fun fact on that because, uh, uh,
in Italy they try to teach you English from, uh, from the school.
So elementary school, you start with the little stuff, middle school, high school.
I always was terrible.
I, I, no, my completely terrible.
I always say English is not for me.
Uh, language is not for me. I never gonna completely terrible. I always say English is not for me.
The language is not for me. I'm never going to learn English.
I'm never going to learn another language.
Then she come up and of course I have to learn English.
So I learned English at 22 years old.
Yeah, he learned it to talk to me.
Oh my goodness.
Like right after I left this summer, one summer, he, I guess, he still has a notebook.
We like did a video about it.
He found it in the closet and it's like this little notebook with like this, this breakdown
dancer on the front, which is so funny to me because it's like the most random notebook.
But when you open it, it's just like English.
Like he just sat down and just taught himself English.
Yeah, like I am, you are, she, from, from the basic, basic, basic. Everything was just because she say,
so we won't start from the beginning to explain why.
So I met her in 2015 the first time.
Yeah.
Okay.
And because my family on a beach club in Italy,
on the beach club in Italy,
and she come in vacation with her family in 2015.
Yeah, because my family is also Italian. So like my no, no, no, no, no.
Like my grandmother and my grandfather. Okay. Both are from there.
Like they're from like five minutes away from where he lives. So we would always
go to that summer and like hang out
But then when I saw him until 2015 I was like wow there's a hot life right here
But I was like literally like a movie you know
Whatever I say whenever an at someone asked like how'd you mean I'm like in Italy like if I like go into detail about it
Me and Carlos sometimes are like wait. That's like how we met like it's just weird
It's the perfect script for like a rom-com or like a romance movie.
And like there's so many things that go into it that literally make it seem like it's like fake.
Like your grandma, yeah, honestly.
Like my grandmother held him as a baby.
And like my grandmother is my best friend in the whole entire world.
So the fact that she knew him when he was a baby, like it's so weird.
Sometimes me and Carlo are like, is it fake?
And he learned English for you.
Yeah.
Like the minute I left that that summer,
he like learned it. No, because my goal was like, so we meet a game in 2018. So three years after
the first time. And, and that game, I didn't know any English. The way for speak with her was through
her nonna, her grandmother, and or her father, because it was the only one that speak Italian
and speak English. So I say something that, that you know they translate to for me but was embarrassed
you know yeah you're like this is going through the family
we were all sitting on the beach chairs like just in a row and like we just talk
back and forth with each other what's that like falling in love with somebody
that you can't necessarily communicate with like verbally because there's
obviously there's so much more to communication than just language there's the body language I mean there's so much how how did you know it was like this is
the one this is the person that I want honestly we don't know because it's so funny I always say
like the summer that I came back so I came back in 2019 the summer after 2018 obviously
but we usually don't go two years in a row so it's really weird that like our family decided
to go back that year and when we left until 2018 and I hugged him,
I was currently in a relationship with somebody else.
So he kept asking me out and like to go out
that whole summer.
Also like a movie.
Yeah, exactly.
Every single time I was there.
I tried all the way possible.
He's like, you and your brother can come,
your sister can come and I just kept saying no.
Cause I was like, the person that I'm with is like,
I wouldn't do that to them.
And this has made me to believe in her a lot more.
You know, we never believed to take on relationship
with her, but not because I didn't want.
Oh my gosh, that was the most thing
that I wanted more than everything.
I never believed because, you know,
I am here in a little region in Italy.
She's from United States, different culture,
different everything.
I say, it's impossible that this happens.
I didn't didn't know the language either.
I don't know the language, but that's why I see it.
But that summer, so in 2018 when we were leaving, we were saying bye to his family
and like we got really close to like their family that summer.
But I didn't really get close to him.
Like he would come sit and talk to us.
But like we hugged goodbye and I felt like butterflies in my stomach and my, I was like,
what's happening right now? Cause I've never felt that with the person that I was with. So I started
getting like nervous. I was like, Oh no, like, why do I feel this way about this guy? And everyone
was just standing around us hugging and they're like, are these people in love with each other?
Like, but it was weird cause like we didn't, we weren't hanging out or anything. Yeah. Everybody
sees something that we didn't see in the moment because everybody see from other perspective.
We were in the inside the perspective.
We couldn't see what really there was.
Oh, we couldn't believe on that.
But so I left. I went home obviously that summer and he like messaged me once in a while.
Like he messaged me on my birthday.
And I remember on my birthday, he messaged me like this long paragraph, like the most meaningful paragraph
I've ever gotten from anybody.
It was like intricate, like you were like
one of the most amazing people I've ever met,
like about like my personality,
and I was like wait, the person that I'm with
didn't, like hasn't even done that.
And I was like okay, maybe, I don't know.
I was like I don't know why I feel this way,
and I felt bad because the person that I was with
was like amazing, like he was a wicked nice guy,
but I didn't have like a wicked strong connection with him.
So I felt like guilty almost that I felt that with him
when I wasn't even like talking to him.
So.
Yeah, we didn't do anything.
I try honestly.
And I was like.
Yeah.
But.
But she didn't give me any possibility.
How did you then have the courage to break that off?
Cause you were in a relationship, but then you knew inside that you were supposed to be with Carlo. Yeah, I honestly just I
Was like I we went out to dinner and I had told him I was like listen
I don't feel like this is meant to be and we were together for like well not the way after the yes after a few
months and honestly wasn't just because of Carlo was in general because I actually got out of a really bad relationship before this one.
And so when I started dating him, he was the nice guy.
And he was what he showed me
what relationships should have been.
And I always say I wish that he stayed a friend
because he was an amazing person.
And then when I met him, I was like,
okay, well, I've never felt this way about anybody
and we don't even talk to each other,
so there has to be something there.
But when I did break up with this person,
it wasn't solely for Carlo.
It was more like, okay, I need to reevaluate
a lot of other things.
So I just sat him down and told him
and he was very understanding about it.
But it hurt really bad for me
because I felt bad for him.
I felt bad that I was feeling that way.
How did your parents react?
Because here you are breaking up with this nice guy
to choose some dude in Italy.
No, in that moment. Oh what? Sorry sorry
interrupt you. Oh we're good. No but in that moment uh I mean she broke up but without no.
Yeah I didn't know that me and Carlo were gonna be together. Oh got it. Like we weren't even talking
at that point like he would message me once in a while and like the birthday, Christmas I use that
for have excuse to message with her.
You know, when I write Christmas,
I say yes, I can message to her.
I do like Google Translate your message.
Yeah, completely.
Completely.
Okay, didn't I hear somewhere
that you had gotten friend zoned
because there was an issue with Google Translate?
I was looking at your story.
And so you friend zoned Carlo.
We thought that we were, we thought.
We thought that we were friends.
Talk to us about that.
So when we first said I love you to each other,
which was like literally four days after we started dating.
The first date.
Yeah, exactly on the first date.
We were saying I love you to each other
and in Italy there's two ways to say it's,
ti amo, which is I love you as like a relationship
and then te voglio bene, which is like
I love you as a family or friend.
So when he wrote it to me on Google Translate, it obviously translated to English, which
was I love you.
And I was like, okay, there's just one way in English.
Yeah.
When I wrote I love you on Google Translate, it translated as Te Voyo Bene.
I didn't know there's a difference at the point.
So he looked at me, he's like, oh, and then he messaged on Google.
He was like, as a friend.
And so then I thought he was telling me that he meant it as a friend.
So we're both like sitting in his car like,
and I'm like, wait, I'm like, so do you love me as a friend?
He's like, you love me as a friend?
I'm like, wait, do we love each other?
I'm so confused.
You're like, can someone answer it first?
I'm stressing out.
Two minutes of embarrassing silence,
because we, so I say I love you, she say I love you too so she meant and
then in the moment she explained to I explained to her but wait you love me
like as a friend because in Italy we have a little bit like as a friend okay I
love you I love you hold up but you were sitting next to each other in the same
vehicle okay because I thought you were messaging like online this is like the
summer that we so go going back to what you said about
how my parents felt about it,
which I like to touch on that,
my dad and Carlo are the same people.
And it's very weird because our families are like,
we live four minutes away from each other in Italy.
Both of them are our families.
And fun fact,
I always say this,
and then people are like,
are you guys cousins?
We're not cousins.
Let me just profess that.
I'm just gonna say that full.
But it's like weird because I go back to like the story thing.
Like it's like a weird fairy tale
that like doesn't make any sense.
But my no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
which is my grandfather, sorry.
That's the Italian way to say it.
But my grandfather, he took his mom's last name,
which is Malika, which is my last name.
But if he took his dad's last name,
because they weren't married at the time, it would be Longo, which is his last name.
Oh, so my last name would have been Longo.
And then you wouldn't have gotten married and it would have still been Longo.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, but I always joke around.
I'm like, imagine if we're related and Carl's like, no, because the top two
names in the region are Malika and Longo.
It's in Italy, so everyone has, but whenever I found
that out I was like, wait, I would have had the same last name as him.
Let's quickly go to Amusory.com and make sure.
Yeah, and then actually my other cousins that are American, their last names are Longo.
That's weird.
But they're not from Italy, like it's just like a completely different name.
Here's what I'm confused about. What's the culture in Italy? Do women take their husbands
last name?
No. No, they usually hyphen sometimes.
If they're, or like they just leave their last name.
Like I think I'm going to hyphen the last name.
No way.
Oh, so you still have your same last name?
Yeah, I haven't changed it.
You haven't changed it.
Okay.
Do you have any firm opinions on that?
I want to say I don't really care.
Honestly, me neither.
It's just a name.
Oh, sorry, just move that.
Honestly, no, I don't, I don't, I don't care to be honest
because in Italy, my mother have her last name
She born with last name that last name and she keep
Okay, my every woman and so the most common thing in Italy is just to keep yeah both
But you do a hyphenated one. Here's my question. Then your kids are don't they all build up?
No, those are the kids like long ago. Like I'll make it
So the kids are always the dad. Yeah, the kids are with the dad. Yeah
Yeah, he has his dad's last name, his mom has like her maiden name. Because that's confusing. I think, I'm not for sure, but I think in some Latin American cultures that's a thing too.
Yes, they have both. But what confused me is I'm like after so long you're gonna have like 50,000 last names. Yeah, it's gonna add up.
Building up. Yeah, literally. I didn't realize that you were still choosing most likely probably from culture the father's the father's name. Yeah, the fatherless name. When we have kids, I'll probably change it.
It's a lot of paperwork.
It's also because we probably wait also for dual citizenship stuff.
I want to get my Italian citizenship before I change my last name because I don't know
if that would affect it.
If I were to change my last name, then I had to go back and change all the documents.
How did you guys decide on America over Italy?
Well, at the time I was in nursing school,
so I completed nursing school,
and obviously school is expensive.
I've already went through six years of college,
and Carl's like, I don't want to make you move
to another country and not be able to use your degree
that you just spent so much money on.
Yeah, exactly. In Italy, we both are nurses. to another country and not be able to use your degree that you just spent so much money on. And-
Yeah, exactly.
In Italy, we both are nurse.
I am nurse in Italy.
She's a nurse here.
And take a graduation degree in Italy.
It's a lot.
It's like $2.
No, I mean, it's like a lot.
I think in total you will gonna pay for the full degree
no more than 12K. $12. I think in total you will gonna pay for the full degree,
no more than 12K? 12 dollars.
No, 12,000.
12,000, yeah.
Really?
Yeah, maybe less.
Usually you also less.
Here you pay 100, 100.
Wow.
So I say in that case,
how I can ask to you to come here
after spend the hundreds of thousand dollar
and say, oh, let's go to Italy, live in Italy
and maybe you can work.
Yeah, because where he's from,
there's really not a lot of.
No, there wasn't a lot of possibility.
There wasn't a possibility for me
that I was Italian with the nurse degree.
I can imagine for her.
Because I had to learn Italian also,
like the language and obviously I would do that if you
wanted to but like a lot of people think it was like this big conversation it honestly like wasn't
we kind of just both were like yeah it just makes sense. Speak to the challenge of dating
long distance because Abby and I did long distance but we were only two and a half hours apart
and so what I ended up doing is I would just drive to go see her literally like almost every weekend
honestly I did like every other weekend
and then towards the end of our senior year of high school,
I was driving to see Abby every weekend.
Yeah, you couldn't wait.
Yeah, how did you guys do it?
That's tough to be that far apart.
We honestly did it also during COVID.
So when we first started dating,
like he visited me in America for the first time in January.
And when him and his sister went home,
that's when everything shut down in March.
And so we didn't see each other
from March all the way to August.
No?
Oh yeah, August, yes sir.
And me and Carlo every day spent days finding flights
and then we would book a flight and then it would get
canceled and I was like, oh I'm gonna go in May
or I'm gonna go in April and then it would get canceled
and canceled.
And I even drove to New York twice to take a plane from New York because for some reason
they were only running flights to Rome out of New York.
And I'd get there and they would change the rule the minute I got there.
So I had to turn back around and go home.
That would be so disappointing.
Yeah, it was so, because the law changed right away.
Every day can be a different law.
Because one minute it's like, oh, if your family's from Italy or if you could prove
that your grandmother's from Italy, you can travel there.
Like very weird rules, but then when you got there, they changed it.
So it was just like horrible.
But that was tough.
The long distance, yeah, in general, the long distance relationship was tough.
But I think the greatest thing we did was like communicate
communicate everything
Listen, we didn't was like I feel this from you, but I know tell you because I know what to stress you
I was like I feel you a little bit distance. There is something that it's wrong
You are stressful for something, we talking about.
Yeah, because we definitely learned in the beginning
our relationship, like we didn't communicate enough,
and so like we would both be like, oh, you're mad,
I'm just not gonna respond to you or something,
and like, I don't know, I feel like when you like
grow up in like a high school relationship mindset,
you kind of like take those, what are those things called,
like those traits from like a high school relationship,
and like bring it into your older relationships,
like, oh, I'm just not gonna answer your text message.
Then like now you're like, okay, we're like adults.
Yeah, like he's called with me,
I'm gonna be called with her.
You know, like this type of thing.
So you'd start, so you'd get into like little fights
over messaging apps?
Ooh.
Yeah, or like we'd FaceTime each other
and just like be like, oh, well you seemed weird today.
And he'd be like, I, and then he would like tell me
what actually happened during the day. And I'm like, okay, that makes sense seemed weird today. And then he would tell me what actually happened
during the day and I'm like, okay, that makes sense.
And that was only probably the first month
of our relationship, but after we learned that,
especially when you're not with each other all day,
you kind of have to constantly be communicating
what's happening in your day,
because if something bad happens during your day,
your partner doesn't know that.
So yeah, you're acting weird, but not towards them.
It's just because something just happened to you. Okay, I actually have a really interesting question.
I've always been told, or not told,
but I've heard people use as an excuse for people
to not like, I don't know, marry someone
that's not the same race as them or whatever.
It's always been said like, well, there, you know,
there's cultural differences, so you gotta be careful.
But like, I'm curious, like you obviously clearly
there are cultural differences between you guys growing up in completely different countries
So I am curious were there any challenges to that or was it not really?
Yeah, like what's your experience with that? Well only because sorry
My dad like obviously I grew up
With an italian family. Yeah, like my dad's side. So I know most of their culture and I understand like the values behind it
I think you had more challenge here. Yeah, I was more struck man in the little thing.
It was more like Carlo being like this ice cream is really large and Italy we don't have that.
Like it was more like but in our relationship. Yeah, for me wasn't was they tell you in little stuff like
more about American society and non-Sara culture.
It was more like in general, no more on her situation.
I'm sorry.
I'm trying to think about,
I think it was one cultural,
oh, there is one big thing in our relationship
that they, in Italy, they speak really loud.
Like they're like,
Oh yeah, me too.
Yeah.
But like it always sounds like they're yelling. Like it doesn't matter what they're saying, they're like. Oh yeah, me too. Yeah. That was it. But like it always sounds like they're yelling.
Like it doesn't matter what they're saying,
they're always yelling.
So I remember, like my family, as much as my dad's Italian,
like I had a very quiet household kinda.
So like I wasn't used to like people just being like
shouting all the time.
Yeah.
So when me and Carlo would like just talk,
he would be like shouting and I'm like,
people are gonna think you're yelling at me.
But no, I'm just like, you know, also we are very, and he like talks with his hands and like pass someone. Yeah,
if someone's in the car next to us they're gonna think you're screaming at me. Maybe I'm like part
Italian, I legit talk with my hands and I shout sometimes like Abby's like can you please be quiet.
Yeah, but you know feel the, not the power, but you feel needed to speak with the hands for,
I know, I like the gesture. See, I think the funniest was the thing in our apartment.
We had somebody looking out.
I don't know what it was, but you were saying something really loud.
It looked like you were yelling at me.
And then he turned.
He's like, I yell like you.
I'm like, Shota wasn't yelling.
He looks like he's here.
He's like, yeah.
And I'm like, don't yell.
He's like, I'm not actually yelling at you.
Because if you've been in my house on the table, we speak about something. Yeah. And I was like, I was like, he's like, I'm not actually yelling at you, but.
Because if you've been in my house,
Oh, they're all yelling at each other all the time.
We speak about something,
it looked like we had to.
I would be like,
how are you fighting?
I love how you do this.
I love how your hands just work like that.
It's like automatically.
I feel like that's so stereotypical,
but then you did it and I'm like,
that's amazing.
It's not stereotypical,
but we really do a lot of that.
No, we really do.
But here they do it differently.
They always go like this and it's not,
you don't move the wrist. No, it's real Italian, so I don't move the wrist. No, it's okay. It's they do it differently. They always go like this and it's not, you don't move the wrist.
No, it's real Italians don't move the wrist.
No, it's like, it's like.
It's like I try on TikTok wherever it goes like this.
I'm like, no, no, no.
Thank you to Haya for sponsoring today's episode.
Our oldest is only a few months away
from being two years old.
It's really time to start thinking about
what kinds of vitamins we should be giving him.
My favorite thing about Haya is that they're not just like
basically candy for your kids with no value
other than just tasting yummy, which they do taste yummy.
I've actually tried them.
You had the Hiya vitamins yourself.
Hiya fills in the most common gaps in modern children's diets to provide the full body nourishment our kids need with a yummy taste they love.
And so do I, honestly.
Hiya is pressed with a blend of 12 organic fruits and veggies, then supercharged with 15 essential vitamins and minerals.
It was formulated with the help of nutritional experts and you parents, the
toddlers out there, know as well as I do that it's difficult to give your child a
well-rounded diet sometimes. The other day I was looking for Griffin, I'm like
where's Griffin? And I found him with your dad on the couch watching Toy Story
and eating an Oreo. Yeah, you know there's always a reason for a treat and
then there's always a reason that they're not gonna
end up eating everything on their plate.
Haya also has these refillable bottles,
which is just way better for our planet.
And you can refill them, decorate them.
There's little packets that you can get sent to you
so that you can then just pour the vitamins
into the bottle itself.
Yeah, and you get to actually decorate
your special personal Haya bottle.
That's cute.
They give you a sticker packet and it's a yellow bottle.
So Griffin could like basically decorate
his own bottle for himself.
It's just something like that they'll look forward to doing.
Kids love routine, especially when they're a part of it.
So having them decorate the bottle
and then bring it out every day, like it's really fun too.
That's sweet, I love that.
And eco-friendly.
We've worked out a special deal with Haya
for their best-selling children's vitamin.
Receive 50% off your first order. To claim the deal you must go to
hiahealth.com slash unplanned. This deal is not available on their regular website.
Go to h-i-y-a-h-e-a-l-t-h dot com slash unplanned
and get your kids the full body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults.
Back to the episode.
Hey, what does this mean? Is this like, oh, the food's good? Like the pasta?
Can be everything. Can be everything can be talking about.
I know it's funny that you say that because I feel like here they use it as like, oh,
this food's really good.
And there's more than they're like mad.
They're like, what are you talking about?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like, I don't know.
What are you talking about?
You just say why you do this?
Something like, you know, we have on our answer, we connect also now where I just discovered this,
we connect our lips, we really move a lot the face and the lips.
They're very expressive.
You say like, ask me something, and you say, I don't know, I would say, boo.
Yeah, I hate when he does that.
And we do the shoulder, the lips go down, and the hands go up.
I mean, it's...
If we're in an argument, I always am like, I hate that.
And I just turn around and walk away.
Yeah, I'm like, I can't.
But yeah, there's really no...
That was the only thing that like in our relationship,
like really, not cause arguments,
but he's like, that's who I am.
And I'm like, I don't like that.
Like I like, I don't like yelling and loudness.
Like I'm a very like calm person. Like don't yell,. I don't like yelling and loudness. I'm a very calm person.
Don't yell for no reason.
He's like, I can't take this down.
I don't know what you want me to do.
We've gotten better at it and now I'll just yell back at him and I'm like, all right,
fine, I'll just give you what you want.
You feel better on that?
No, I do, but I'm just not that.
You want her to yell.
Yeah, no, really.
Because really, if you guys come one time at my house for lunch or dinner, you will
understand.
The amount of times I've asked him like in the summertime, like when I'm there for a long period of time, I'm like, what are you guys fighting about?
He's like, we're just talking about the pasta dish that we just made.
And I think they're in a full on fight.
Like, or like when he's on FaceTime with his family, like I'll walk in and I'm like, is everything OK?
He's like, yeah, I'm like, OK.
OK, I can hear you screaming from downstairs.
When they actually fight, though, what's it like? like, yeah, I'm like, okay, okay, can I hear you screaming from downstairs? When they actually fight though, what's it like?
Oh, god, I don't know. I don't think I've ever seen that.
It's very, like very loud.
Wait, can you hear it? Like, can you hear your Italian
neighbors like close by and they're like, they're shouting
at each other? Like, you probably can be if they scream in the
yard. If they don't scream in the yard, no, because in Italy,
the house are with the cement and brick.
So it's very, very tough.
What was COVID like there?
Cause I remember on the news, it was all Italy, Italy,
Italy, and it was like America, you gotta shut down
cause Italy is getting hit so hard.
Was that scary for you and your family?
Because we were the first country in the world
after China.
So China was the first, then we were the first.
We were the first in Europe,
and then in the Occidental, in the West.
I don't know.
Well, I heard they were turning people away at the hospital.
Which is-
Yeah, that was the, because nobody know anything about.
And we were like closing the, in Italy was terrible because-
You were not allowed to leave your house.
When we would FaceTime each other,
he would go out in his car,
because his wifi at his house sucks.
So he'd go out in the street
and the police would literally come knock on his door
and be like, you need to go back home.
Oh my goodness.
Mine was like-
Like two seconds away from his house.
Two seconds away.
And sometimes they stopped to me
with distance mask and everything.
Fun fact about that, and I will tell you the fun fact. So,
they stopped me. I was stopped. I was like parking the car. It was middle night, no middle night,
it was like 3 a.m. because for talk with her, I have to be awake during the night sometime,
because you know, I was during COVID, I didn't have nothing to do in the morning besides study,
so I said I can do that. They knock and say, oh, what are you doing here? You know that you can't,
we have to give you a ticket, we have to do this. Where you live? I say, you see the house over there?
Yeah, that's my house. They say, why you are here and not your house? My Wi-Fi is not good. Why you
speak under the phone? My girlfriend, because it was my girlfriend,
is in the United States.
Oh yeah, come on.
And now your girlfriend is in the United States.
They both thought he was making up a whole story.
They're like, yeah.
Did you show them?
You're like, this is my girlfriend.
I'm actually pretty sure he turned the camera one time
and made me wave.
Or this happened multiple times.
Oh yeah.
Every time he was in the car.
And that was like, they can see where I was leaving.
You're like, it's me again.
Yeah.
Same girlfriend.
Same girlfriend.
I'm like, hey.
And one time I remember they stopped,
they knocked on my window and say,
oh, what are you doing here?
I was like, for some reason,
I was, we were like planning on a date through the first time.
So I was like, a shirt, no, a skirt.
A shirt, and a shirt, I think also on the, I think also the tie and on the
bottom was like the short.
Like the zoom outfit.
It was a FaceTime date.
Yeah.
It was that.
Yeah.
That was he got flowers too.
Wait, what?
And he like pretended.
No.
Well, did he buy the flowers like in the United States to be sent to you?
No, no.
He bought like, he brought them in Italy.
He was like holding them like in the camera.
Yeah, that's for real.
And he like pulled out the chair like as if like I was gonna sit down in a chair.
Cute!
I was like, I don't know what's happening right now.
He's embarrassed.
Yeah, I don't know what's happening right now.
You talking about getting a ticket in Italy makes it like makes me laugh because I feel
like Italians love giving tickets because we got a ticket for the short period of time
we were in Italy.
For what?
We were there, I'm not even kidding you guys,
we were in Italy for 13 minutes and we got a ticket.
How you get the ticket?
So we got a ticket, or we were trying to get on the bus,
no, train system.
On the tram.
The tram.
Yeah.
And so we bought our ticket and we're like,
we got our ticket, we're on the tram like we did it and we come
And we did it. We didn't validate it. In America they come and validate it for you.
So we're sitting there we're sitting literally I could touch the machine and I'm like we got our ticket and they're like
What is this? They're like start being crazy.
This man yelled at us.
Got everyone yelling, got everyone to look at us.
Maybe he just talked to us, maybe he wasn't yelling at us because he's an Italian.
That's it, like you didn't hear them yelling. He's like, sir, did you validate your ticket?
It was so dramatic.
I was like, oh my gosh.
I'm like, my hands are up.
It was like 100 euros.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, we got chart.
It was 120 euros.
Oh, they knew that you guys were tourists.
For sure.
No, we had our luggage.
We had our luggage.
We had our luggage, like so many big suitcases and they were like literally in my head.
They were snickering together to each other like they got us.
Another tourist we got. I hate when this happens in particular
with tourists because I say why you treat tourists like that?
If it happens to an Italian guy, he probably say, listen, I didn't
validate because timing for some reason.
But in particular for you guys, he was a nice person
who would say, oh, I understand that you are tourists
and you don't know, so I don't give you a ticket.
If it was an Italian guy, he would say,
I give you a ticket because you know they're only here.
You know that you have to validate the ticket.
Yeah.
I would have done it too.
I'd been like, oh, two tourists, $100.
We literally just got off of the airplane. We were on the tram for less
than five, we were standing right next to each other. We were on there for, I don't
even think a minute. I think they saw us come on and they were like, yeah. Yeah, 100%. And
so we were like, well, let us validate it now. And they're like, no, no. They could,
they can't. So many times to me happens when I in college, when I went to the college, for
timing I didn't validate and they say, listen, I have the ticket but I didn't validate.
I don't want it to here right now.
I say, can I do this right now?
They're like, no.
They saw the suitcase.
Oh yeah.
The suitcase is so obvious.
It's not just that.
It's also the language.
Of course in the moment.
We were screaming American, I'll be honest with you. We were winking at it. it's also the language of course in the moment everyone on that tram knew that
we were American I felt like a criminal though because I do think that a couple
like girls on that tram might have like no no they're looking at their phones
and they were like smiling because they knew we were on the top
your hands are like behind your back, like take me away.
This is a great look.
That's like the worst, especially when you're done traveling.
You're ready to go to the hotel and you're like why am I going to get a ticket?
We had just flown all night. We were like, are you kidding? I hate Italy.
That's like the worst first impression though.
I would think the same thing if somebody...that was a scam.
Not everybody are in that way. If you go now and...
Oh I'm sure.
You're up against Justin Vronga and so.
We knew that even then we're like,
this is just a weird experience.
Yeah, we started taking Uber after that
because we're like, I don't want to get another...
Because Uber's way cheaper than getting a ticket.
Makes sense.
I didn't know that they had Uber.
Well, before I feel like they didn't have Uber.
In North Italy, in Italy, when I come from it,
there is no Uber.
Oh my God, if you even mention Uber,
they're like, what's that?
Yeah. Oh really?
Yeah, when it comes from... Well, it was Rome though. So like in Uber. If you even mention Uber, they're like, what's that? Oh really?
Yeah, where they come from.
It was Rome though, so in Rome.
Yeah, Rome definitely.
Yeah.
So you mentioned that there was a transition
when you came to America,
and it was less about your relationship,
more just cultural differences,
just existing in a new country.
And you said the ice cream sizes were a big one.
When him and his sister ordered a small ice cream,
they brought out this like,
cause his sister came with him
the first time he visited America,
which was very sweet.
Like his sister's like my best friend.
Sweet.
Literally this big and they both looked at us.
They're like,
That's not real.
What's that?
That's not real.
Cause in Italy, a small, small.
It's small.
It's like half a scoop.
It's stronger though.
Yeah, that's true.
I feel like gelato is more.
Yeah, but still, I mean, I think the only way to take
that amount of gelato ice cream, you have to have a cake.
Yeah.
Yeah.
In Italy, if you're going on a bar,
and say you want a larger ice cream,
they give you a cake for a larger ice cream.
I mean, a normal cup, what we say.
I think his biggest thing was Olive Garden. Oh, because he was shocked that people here think
that Olive Garden is Italian. Your video was cracking me up. I was watching that today of you
going to Olive Garden. I know breadsticks are so bread, did you dip the breadstick in the marinara sauce? Yeah, but wasn't that for me the most...
It's like they call it Italian.
No, for me, exactly, what I take personally was the carbonara.
For me carbonara is my favorite dish, pasta.
Okay.
And when I see carbonara with...
In carbonara ingredients there is eggs, black peppers, pasta, of course course and guanciale.
We said pancetta but guanciale is the right one.
In the moment, pecorino cheese,
pecorino and parmigiano reggiano.
But in the moment you put also cream, milk, chicken.
Cream.
Bell peppers, cream.
They probably put bacon in it.
No, bacon.
They put bacon as well.
100%. I was like, what is that? Ranch maybe.
They were like honey mustard on the side. Yeah something like what is this thing that's not
that's not even a pasta how you can that was like the paella. He called it a soup. He's like what is
this a soup? Like there's just more food things a lot of people are like I don't get why he's so
dramatic about food. It's like that's their culture. Like in Italy, like their life revolves around food.
I saw your viral video over a hundred million views of your wife cracking the pasta over
the boiling water. What was going through your brain?
No, I was like explosion. She didn't do that. We are in Italy. She didn't do that. It's just
my imagination to do that. But here the crack imagination. I do that. Yeah, I hear the crack and say she did.
How you can broken the pasta because I didn't even know it was going to make
them that mad. Honestly, I was just like, we were making pasta and I was like,
I thought that's how you're supposed. I would have thought that was Italian.
Honestly, I would have thought that's how you're supposed to do it.
I didn't even know that it was like a thing. Like I was just like,
that'd be funny. Cause I, like,
I think our first video that we did was I asked to put pineapple on pizza in Italy and there is no way. There's no way. No, my
car like was not having it. The pizzeria don't have the pineapple. I literally wanted to
ask the waiter and Carl's like, if you do that, I will leave. No, they don't be allowed
to come back in the pizzeria for sure sure. You're bad. You're not allowed. Yeah, you're bad, because you allowed an American girl
to ask pineapple.
Carlo, have you tried it though?
I tried it.
I tried it.
It's so good.
When I come here the first time, because I have to try.
You made it one time.
What do you think?
When I thought it was potato.
Yeah, you thought it was a potato on the pizza.
I'm like, that's so random, they thought potato was on pizza.
It's like, that would make more sense than pineapple.
Yeah.
And I was like, what?
In Italy, pizza with french fries.
Yeah, they eat french fries and hot dog pizza.
And I'm like, do you want to come at me?
And it's called American pizza.
Yeah, french fry and hot dog pizza.
Yeah, put hot dogs on pizza.
Yeah, but they want to come at us
for using pineapple on pizza.
What? Pineapple is a freaking fruit.
Hot dog is meat.
Hot dog is meat.
Hot dog.
Hot dog is meat.
Yeah, that's weird though.
You put, you, you put.
I literally slice up hot dogs and put them on pizza.
You put like salame, mortadella.
Hot dog is a mystery meat.
That's not even meat.
That's probably like, who knows what that is.
I know, exactly.
That's why I'm like, I'm going to put pineapple on it.
That is made in the lab.
That's true but you want to know what is the most funny thing that we call
American pizza. For the Americans. I'm like we don't eat that. No, no, we call it American pizza.
They call it American pizza instead of just like pizza. No exactly. Because it's totally different.
I'm like we wouldn't even eat that in America. That was the most funny, the most weird thing about it. I just want to know how you guys ever argue because I feel like when you just pronounce
something in such a funny way.
Oh, that breaks us out of arguments because we both are very hard headed.
From where we are in Italy, the definition of us is hard headed people.
And so we'll just argue and there's no end to it.
Like, because I'm not giving up
and he's not giving up either.
So, but until he may, he like, pronounces something wrong
and then we both just start dying laughing.
I'm like, I even forgot what we were just joking about.
Fighting about.
No, because I say something, I think so many times.
He says phonics, then you're like,
okay, we're not even fighting anymore.
He doesn't look at it, he says it, he's like,
and I'm like, and then we just start dying laughing.
I'm like, how cute.
That's how we end our fight.
Oh, I love that so much.
I have noticed you guys have been open about fighting
on YouTube, which I really respect,
because I think so many couples, especially on social media,
want to paint this picture of perfection
for their marriage or their relationship.
And I truly believe that if you're saying you never
fight, I either think, one, you're lying, or two,
I think you just have one person that is a
such a strong people pleaser in the relationship
that they've convinced the other person
that they're just okay with everything.
They just go along with it.
Yeah, they go along with everything the other person does.
No, I'm very open.
Me and Karlo are very open.
Like we argue.
We actually argued a lot in the beginning of our relationship.
Like-
Yeah, in particular for misunderstanding. Misunderstandings and also just a lot in the beginning of our relationship. Yeah, in particular for misunderstanding.
Misunderstandings and also just a lot of,
we had a lot of stress in the beginning of our relationship
right off the bat.
The green card situation, the getting married situation,
just a lot of things that were happening at once.
And me and Carla were like,
we fought a lot and argued a lot about it.
And obviously working together like
You guys know I think yeah It's not not fun sometimes. 24 hours together sometime, you know, uh and in that situation
We start to realize that we have to have also our time to do stuff
For example, I take my time to watch some
Some soccer games some football, European football game.
Well, I always say to Carlo that when we're in arguments,
I always say like, I'm mad at you as like my business partner.
Not as my husband.
Because we've gotten in like fight fights about work
and then it'll turn into like our relationship fighting.
Like, oh, I didn't like that you did this
or I didn't like that you did that.
And I'm like, why are we bringing all those issues
into the fact that we're talking about work?
We used to work at a pizza restaurant together and we dreamed of working together one day. And I'm like, why are we bringing all those issues into the fact that we're talking about work?
We used to work at a pizza restaurant together and we dreamed of working together one day
and it was so American pizza.
American pizza.
It was pineapple.
American pizza.
And we did put pineapple on pizza.
In ranch.
So you don't want to even know.
You don't even want to know.
I eat pizza in ranch and he literally, he gags every time.
Carl would walk out of the establishment.
He'd be like, this is not, this is so classic.
It's called Belistino's, but I'm pretty sure it should have been Belachinos.
Belestinos.
Belestinos?
Or Belachinos with a C.
Anyway, we worked together though, and we all, and it was so much fun because we also were
each other's bosses. We had someone over us telling us what to do when you work with your spouse,
where you own a small business with your spouse, you're working together, you're telling each other what to do, which just
pisses each other off.
Yeah, because I don't like to be told what to do.
Exactly.
So if he comes in the room and he's like, oh, by the way, you need to like edit this.
I'm like, if you don't get out of this room right now, I'm literally going to...
It's funny because...
How dare you!
I'm like, why are you telling...
And then I'm like, I'm actually doing that right now.
But now that you told me to do it, I'm not going to do it.
Yeah, if I don't say...
Putting this on pause.
Exactly.
If I don't say, it's fine, she will do. If's fine, she will do if I say she will do because I say
you're the same exact. I know it's not. I know that makes
total sense. We both have the same personality to which makes
it harder because it's like we both are like, but like that
makes it easier to because I'm like, okay, well now I know why he felt that way about that because I also feel the same way
Yeah, it's a little by little we learn more to read each other
And in particular to listen I say this my name mean this. Oh like
So and it's a good word it is a really bad word no
What's about means a really bad word. No, no, really bad word. What's a bad word?
It means F you.
No, but it's-
Oh, in Italian?
Yeah.
So there's a word in Italian that's literally va' funculo, right?
Okay.
And so when they're in a fight-
You just cursed on our podcast?
Sorry, yeah.
You're gonna have to bleep that out.
But when he's like in a fight with argument or with his family or whatever, he just says
that.
Yeah, but it's a-
But if you directly translate it, it means f*** you. Oh. But it doesn't have- But it's not- But it's not really says that. Yeah, but if you directly translate it, it means f**k you. Oh, but it doesn't have, but it's not really meaning that.
No, like he says it to a family.
Not at all.
We really usually, oh, if some friend...
He's driving in a car, he'll say it.
Maybe it means f**k you instead of actually...
Yeah, but when I Googled translated it the first time, when he said it in an argument,
it translated as f**k you.
Really?
I went off the handle because I'm like, did you just tell me?
And I was like, that cost a big fight.
Yeah.
I was like, why did you just say that to me?
I've never been told that.
And I was shocked because I was like, what I say?
I mean, I didn't say nothing big.
I didn't say you are the worst person in the world.
I was shocked that she acted in that way.
And then like, oh, I'm reacting that way.
It made it seem like I like-
No, I acted that you really take very-
No, I wasn't very upset about it.
Exactly.
And I was shocked that she taking that way
because I was like,
okay, I just say,
but fun cool.
He says it all the time.
Yeah, when I argue with my best friend,
argue, we talk about it and say,
oh, I think next time we can do this. Oh, oh, fuck off.
We really usually like, no, no need.
So I just say back to him in fights now.
I might, well, if you want to say it, then I'll say it.
The meaning is completely different.
Yeah, no, really.
The meaning is not in the same meaning that we usually like.
Why do I feel though, tell me if I'm wrong,
that Europeans cuss more than Americans.
What?
Like you guys swear more.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, they swear all the time.
Really?
Very common?
Yeah, very common.
We have also a very, I must say,
it's not be proud, but very like-
Strong characters.
Strong, you know, behind the bad world that we are like really there's
like meaning behind it no but not just that we have so many other thinker for
make the bad world so much bigger and your mother yeah like this whole long
thing I'm like jeez yeah if you if you try that here that's not very See, like, like the way I grew up, like you never cussed.
And if you said the F word, that was really bad.
Even for a while, I think I wasn't able to say crap.
That was like a big deal.
Really?
No, he would have hated my house.
Me and my sister said all the bad words.
But in the United Kingdom, it's different.
I've heard people in the UK cuss like sailors are just cussing all the time.
They say the C word apparently.
Oh, yeah, they do.
Yeah. What? I'm not saying it. The S word. UK cuss like sailors are just cussing all the time. They say the C word apparently. Oh yeah, they do.
Yeah.
I'm not saying it.
No, C word.
We can tell you after the podcast.
C and then there is a T to the end.
Yeah.
Oh.
Apparently they say that in the UK,
but people here, that's like the worst word ever.
Imagine being in a fight with your husband and they say that to you. And they call you that? No, no. I'm leaving the house. that in the UK but people here that's like the worst I was like what? I was like what? What's a girl? I was like 9-1-1 what's your emergency? My husband said this is your work.
Yeah, you would not believe me.
You're like that was so disrespectful,
Carlo was like okay.
Because not in the house, but outside house with friend,
you say, you say really for, also for fun.
You say it in your house too.
Yeah, but when we grow up,
not when I was like teenager. Yeah, when when we grow up, not when I was like teenager.
Yeah, when you were a teenager.
Yeah, when I was a teenager, if I do something like that,
I get in trouble.
I know, I always got in trouble too
and then my little brother says things all the time
and my parents like, eh.
I'm like, okay.
It always works that way.
Yeah.
I was listening to your Q and A today
on your YouTube channel and one of the questions was,
did you test drive the car before before you bought it?
So I was just like curious like open up about that is that like what's the culture in Italy like what was the culture?
That you grew up with in Boston, you know, there really wasn't any okay cold
I actually I personally wanted to wait until marriage like that was like one of my things but
But you know an italian you were not
The first date that we have uh, I tried to be like cool
And uh bring her before I asked her father if I can bring her for a date.
But clarifying, it was not on the first date.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
You guys hooked up and then got back.
Yeah, no.
No, we had someone on the podcast
that they actually did hook up.
They were like a Tinder hookup
and then they ended up getting married.
Oh, I love that.
Wow.
That's awesome.
This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.
Should we talk about this?
Sure, if you want to.
We started therapy.
We started therapy. And really it's thanks to BetterHelp. Should we talk about this? Sure, if you want to. We started therapy. We started therapy.
And really it's thanks to BetterHelp
because I feel like otherwise
it just was not going to happen.
They just make it really convenient
because we are busy.
We are always on the go
and so like just be able to go on your computer
and talk to a therapist.
BetterHelp is great because it's flexible
and it suits to your schedule.
And then if you decide one day, you know what?
This therapist isn't the best fit.
You can always switch free of charge,
which is so convenient,
but so far ours has been like really good.
No, we're not just out here talking about BetterHelp.
We are using it.
We take a quiz online to kind of help them find
what they think is gonna be a good therapist for you.
We filled that out and we're actually using Regain currently,
which is couple counseling through BetterHelp.
Yeah.
But they also have personal therapy too, which we will also probably be giving a try. Honestly, personal therapy sounds
awesome. I'm so thankful for therapy. Like it's just it's the best and I think like more and more
people are doing it and which is like taking away the stigma from it because I think back in the
day it was like oh if you did therapy something is wrong with you. Or you're not normal. Or even with your marriage.
Yeah or you're like your marriage is about to fail or you're like your marriage is a divorce like your marriage about to fail
So you're doing therapy, but it's like it's not like that like it doesn't have to be like that at all. It's great
I think we could all use a little therapy
So learn to make time for what makes you happy visit better help visit better help comm slash unplanned podcast today to get 10%
Off your first month. That's better help
H-e-l-p.com slash unplanned podcast.
Back to the episode.
You dated American men and then you dated an Italian.
Completely different.
Really?
Completely different.
So much more romantic?
So romantic, I don't know how to explain it.
They're just like different.
Like I feel like Italians are not, not all.
There's obviously some Italians that like.
In general, we're speaking general.
Yeah, like general like just completely different.
Like they're very like open about emotions.
Like, I don't know.
I didn't cry.
I mean, what do you mean?
You didn't cry?
Oh, Italian men are very,
you cried.
They're more so emotional than men would be in America.
Not emotional in like a crying way,
more in like a, they'll tell you what's bothering them.
And like, I don't know, maybe it's just Carlo.
I always say like, I feel like I lucked out with Carlo
cause he's a very like well-rounded man.
So we test drove the car.
Now she's-
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I understand in the beginning when you say test
the car, I say, yeah, we try our Volvo before to buy.
He's not like a car owner.
In the beginning I thought this,
but then I understand the situation.
I'm so sorry.
Yeah, I shouldn't have phrased it that way.
No, no, no, no, no.
That was the best way to explain the situation without- Yeah, we just, cause I know you guys waited. We did. Like, I shouldn't have phrased it that way. No, no, no, no. That was the best way to explain the situation without.
Yeah, we just because I know you guys waited.
We did. Like, was that hard?
Yeah. Yeah.
I there is my best friend wait as well.
And I always ask him how.
OK, here's what I want to tell you guys, though.
And I've learned this now as an adult man, talking to other friends of mine
and talking to people that I would have never thought would have like
fooled around before they were married because you know they were very religious
or one thing or another but the more you talk to people and you actually hear like what
people what they actually do it'll shock you because friends of mine that I thought waited
didn't and then friends that I would have thought or just people in general that I would
have thought like I don't know didn't even like do anything more than kiss before they
were married.
It's like, no, they did literally everything else.
Yeah, but what's the difference?
That was very comforting though, because I thought like, man, I'm just like this, I'm
just this freaking high libido dude over here who, you know, can't keep his hands to himself.
You can say horny.
Yeah.
I'm just a horny dude.
No, but it's like, it just felt reassuring to know like, okay, everyone's the same.
We're humans.
And can we stop like with the BS of like oh we all
waited till marriage it's like these I mean if you asked my family the summer that we got together
we literally couldn't take our hands off of each other like it wasn't actually normal and I was
never I never was like a same I mean yeah like it's hard when you're when you're in love with
someone or when you like someone that much and you're like falling in love with someone it's hard to keep your hands to yourself. Honestly, I must say something about,
I wait a lot because I always say
I want to wait that I get.
Yeah.
I didn't wait enough, but.
We weren't each other's first although,
because I feel like that came off.
Unfortunately we weren't, but.
But also because in our situation,
I must say it's no excuse,
but we also were in long
distance relationship.
Honestly, that would be too much heart, in my opinion.
But in the moment you found the right girl that you feel, in the moment you love somebody
so you won't go try the car, right?
Test the car.
It can't be wrong.
Yes, try the car.
So in the moment you want, you found somebody that you really love, you feel something,
you know when you feel something, maybe you don't know if it's that I think about the
moment you feel that thing and say, I want to understand more.
Are you talking about me or the girl? No, in general, I say, no, excuse me, your
first. No, I'm just kidding. Please. You are the only one that I really love.
Okay.
That's beautiful.
It's not saying just because, okay, I saved myself tonight to sleep on the bed.
No, but he always explains it like, because I always say like, I wish that I waited and
I regret not waiting, but I waited as long as I could and I feel like relationships happen
and I was in long relationships like three or more years
And he always like says and reassures me that like those happen for a reason
Like yeah, I would say there is a reason of why we are here right now. Yeah speak about that
I think that all the things that we made in the past bring us to speak about this
Yeah, it shows you what you want and what you don't want
Not only in that way, but like I'm saying, as a person.
I've gotten the impression that you guys
believe in soulmates, is that true?
Yeah.
Oh, you do?
Yeah.
So you feel like you found your soulmate.
Honestly, yes.
I talk about me, I really believe in that
because there are so many things
that make us to be together.
I see one time you speak about that, you said,
I don't believe in that because there are so many,
seven billion person, I think right now.
Yeah, which is true.
It's true, but in my opinion, when you feel, you feel.
Yeah.
I asked to married her after that I stayed with her
for 40 days.
Okay. So I stayed 20 days the summer,
20 days here in the United States.
After these 40 days, when we met again,
I asked her to marry me.
Yeah, because we just kind of knew.
But I know what you mean, because you're like,
okay, is there really a person out there
that's meant to be with you forever?
And in a way, that kind of doesn't really make sense,
because there are millions of people in the world. But if you like look at your own story you're like okay well
there's things that like led us to that for a reason like why did I go back to Italy twice
in a row when we've never done that before like why I don't know like our families I
don't know it was very like.
I pictured in that way and I look my our experience story, or my personal experience.
If it wasn't my soul mate, why couldn't I meet another person?
Why didn't I meet another person before her?
So if I fall in love with her, it's because in my opinion, my destiny brings me to have
her.
And if there was another soulmate around the world
I probably would make to the other person when I met her I can totally see from your perspective
Why you think that because I feel like I would be more prone to believe in soulmates if I was in your situation
Yeah, I met my spouse
Literally across the world because I met Abby and we were doing a show together and we were like 12
So I just and we grew up up like 100 miles from each other.
So it just, since we were only 100 miles away
doing a show together when we were in middle school,
it just, it didn't seem as much of like a,
wow, this is my soulmate.
But with you guys, I can-
I feel like you guys were so young too.
Yeah. Yeah.
I don't even think that we could
comprehend what was happening.
Or like what is a soulmate when you're 12 years old.
And I feel like also the fact that we both had relationships
before, I never felt like I had something to compare it to.
But like that doesn't always mean that like,
just cause if you guys didn't have a relationship before.
Like I'm-
Yeah, we never did.
Yeah, so like it, but it doesn't mean that
just cause you didn't have that,
then you're not each other's soulmate.
Cause that's like your story.
Like what if your story didn't need to have people before you.
Vicky Finne that show you you didn't meet her as well.
Do you guys think marriage is hard?
Yeah.
Oh you do, okay.
Marriage?
Yeah.
Oh yeah, 100%.
Why?
Because in general it's like-
I mean you're like putting two people together
that have two different perspectives,
two different mindsets, like-
Not just culture, but in general,
two different people that, you know.
Living on the same roof with somebody 24 seven
is already hard.
Like both you try to building something
that is not about work, building a building an house.
I mean, create a family, create a good environment.
It does not easy in my opinion.
And there's things that come along with that.
Like even when you grow up, there's things that happen.
There's gonna be kids that get sick,
which hopefully not, but big things,
and that brings stress in your relationship too.
It's not always happiness.
And for this, I think, in my opinion,
if you have a strong, not just love, but a strong,
I won't say with you, not just love, but a stronger,
I won't stay with you no matter what.
Doesn't matter how much time you fight. It's always get back.
I always read it, I always,
one time I read the sentence that I always loved.
Somebody-
You're like a philosopher.
Oh.
Dude, I like philosophers, I love philosophers.
I totally feel you.
My husband randomly turns into a philosopher.
I'm just like, whoa. I'm just like, This is way too deep. It's a common incurring. I'm like I can't think like that right now.
I'm like I'm actually just thinking about something else. But I'm very interested.
No, I read this sentence one time that young kids ask to an old couple,
why, how you guys stay so long? How was your secrets for say so long? And they say, because we live
in a period where the fix that get broken, we're going to fix before to throw it away.
Yeah. I feel like here people just throw it away.
Now it's so easy. So it doesn't mean to say like, don't throw it away if it's not.
There is situation and situation.
Abuse. Yeah. Yeah. No, exactly. There is a situation and situation abuse.
Yeah, no, that's completely.
Yeah, no way.
Not nice people at all.
But in the moment you have argue about everything about stupid thing on the house.
So like, oh, why you put the dish in this way or in this way?
His hands on the dish towel.
Yeah, it like sideways.
I'm like, like every time it's like they do the same thing over and over again.
You're like, can't you just do it the right way?
Yeah. I mean, little stuff that's being,
have to be fixable.
And if you have more and more,
you can always fix the situation.
If you can fix it,
it means that you want to build it.
That's good.
Carla always says like, no matter what fight we're in,
we've had like big things happen in our relationship
that like you need to be strong together with. And like, he always just says like, no matter what, like're in, we've had like big things happen in our relationship that like you need to be strong together with.
And like, he always just says like, no matter what,
like it's me and you.
Doesn't matter like what else is happening.
Like I'm always by your side.
And like that helps a lot
because it's like you're not fighting to get,
like you're not fighting against each other.
You're fighting for each other.
Yeah, for each other.
Bravo.
Obviously, bravo.
I love that.
You said that.
Have there been other challenges that have come up
that have made marriage hard? Oh, definitely. Definitely. Like, I love that. I love that. Have there been other challenges that have come up that have made marriage hard?
Oh, definitely.
Definitely.
Like, buying a house as well.
Buying a house.
But that was like-
Not really, that was like one of our least.
In general, there are so many things that,
in our situation, like also in your situation, guys,
when you work together, we recently,
we learned to divide the work to us. when you work together, we recently, recently,
we learned to divide the work to us. Since we work at home, like you guys, I think,
you know, there is a moment that you don't know
when to start the house situation, the work situation.
Yeah, like I went through like a really bad mental period
last, and I know you just opened up recently about yours.
That's why I loved, sorry, I don't wanna interrupt.
No, no, no.
You said that men in Italy are more into their emotions
because I think men in America can learn from that
because the rate of people taking their own life in America
is four times, men in America take their life
four times more than women.
Yeah, because they don't open up.
Exactly.
And then when they do open up,
they're looked at differently.
Exactly, it's like, oh, you're being feminine.
Oh, you're being a little girl.
And it's like, no, it's like men can be open
about their emotions.
Or they're being selfish.
Yeah, it's like, no, it's not selfish at all.
Like when I saw your song that you came out,
and I know you got backlash for it,
and it made me genuinely sad,
because I suffer with mental illness too,
and I'm like, that's not,
like you weren't saying it in a way that they don't make you happy. It's like you're just looking around, and it made me genuinely sad, because I suffer with mental illness too, and I'm like, that's not,
you weren't saying it in a way,
they don't make you happy.
It's like, you're just looking around,
and you're like, and I went through the same thing
last year, I told Carlo, I'm like,
I have everything I've ever wanted.
I have a husband, I have a house,
I have a family that loves me,
and I just feel sad.
I don't feel, I feel empty.
And it's not because of you,
it's just because of life.
And I even told Carlo that after I listened to that song yeah like that's literally exactly how I
felt and he's like I know like that's and it sucks because it's like I have
everything like why am I not happy I yeah that's literally exactly how I felt
and what's crazy is I wasn't even gonna I almost canceled my song right that day
because I was just I was feeling so down, but I ended up literally writing,
I was like, maybe I should just write a,
this song should be about how I feel right now.
I felt so much better.
After putting words into it,
and I don't open up about my emotions to people very much,
but my producer who was on the songwriting with me,
he was essentially like, I don't wanna say a therapist,
but just like talking to him,
and getting to put words to
how I felt.
Oh my gosh, I felt so much better afterwards.
Not even just words, like a melody and all of that, every part of it told how you were
feeling.
It just makes me so mad.
Not that we have to talk about this on this podcast, but everyone's like, I feel so bad
for Abby.
That made me so mad.
What the F?
It has nothing to do with me and that's why people don't open up about their emotions because
they feel like they're burdening their spouse.
That right there is why you didn't want to...
Exactly, and it's also why men in America are taking their lives so much more than women.
It's because of that right there, the backlash that you saw in the comments, it shows that
it's still going on.
The reverse of it would never...
I really don't think the reverse of it would take place.
If I was talking bad about,
or I was talking about how I'm feeling upset
about my emotions, they would never be like,
your poor husband.
Yeah, because in that moment,
you are not thinking about Abby.
Not that he doesn't think about you,
but like you're thinking about why am I feeling this way.
It's not personal.
It's not like he directly said like, I don't love Abby.
Like he's just saying that like, I'm just not happy.
The fact that people are even drawing that is- It's just people,, like, I don't love Abby. Like, he's just saying that, like, I'm just not happy.
The fact that people are even drawing that is, is.
It's just people.
That's why I don't, we don't even read comments.
We live in a situation that we have likely millions of person
see our video.
So it's normal to have.
People say that I am mentally abusing,
because I make funny videos about it.
Oh my god.
And I'm like, OK, yeah, I mean, you feel abuse.
Yeah, you don't know.
Please. It's like actually look at people that actually are going through that,
because I'm sure they're not posting videos about it, unfortunately.
And that's really sad. That's really sad.
In your situation, we really felt you know, not because we are here,
but we're really talking about it.
Say that's that's're sitting in my kitchen
and I was listening to it
and I was like, this makes me so mad.
So mad, not just for you, I'm sorry,
for your both situation, because as well,
you don't have to, in my opinion, I'm sorry,
you have to, the people doesn't have to put you
in the situation to say, oh, I don't feel in that way.
I just know. It's also not about,
it wasn't about Abby. It was about Matt.
Exactly.
Like, maybe Matt's having a bad day.
Like it's not always about the other person.
This episode is sponsored by Lumi.
Do you ever think that stress sweat
smells more than like workout sweat?
Cause like workout sweat doesn't smell good,
but it just kind of smells like sweat.
But stress sweat smells like onions.
Well it's crazy cause like you put on regular deodorant under your armpits
But you have sweat coming off your back sweat coming off your butt cheeks like there's sweat everywhere
You know so I coming off your butt cheeks. Yeah, I do well
They really need to try Loomis whole body deodorant and rub some of that on your cheeks. Okay, isn't that cool?
It's a cream Loomy makes where you can just put it on all the high stink points
So maybe your butt cheeks.
Honestly, I really could use them for my feet, especially in the summertime.
Like certain other deodorants, Lumi is powered by mandelic acid.
Ah.
I don't know what that is, but it delivers outrageous 72-hour odor control,
and that's all I need to know. Holy crap.
Everywhere from your pits to your feet to, yes, even your privates.
In fact, it was patients concerned about private part odor that originally inspired the OBGYN
who invented Lume.
No way.
No way.
That's funny.
You know, things do get musty.
Little musty down there sometimes.
Little musty down there.
This is a great solution.
It's a game-changing whole-body deodorant that has now earned over 300,000 five-star
reviews from people like us who love feeling confident from head to toe.
That is a crap ton of reviews.
Check out Lumi. Lumi's starter pack is perfect for new customers.
It comes with a solid stick deodorant, cream tube deodorant, and two free products of your choice.
They have like a mini body wash. They have these deodorant wipes
which are really handy to throw in your car after a workout.
So if you get the Lumi starter Pack, you will also get free shipping.
As a special offer for listeners,
new customers get $5 off a Lumi Starter Pack
with code unplanned at lumideodorant.com.
That equates to over 40% off your starter pack
when you visit lumideodorant.com and use code unplanned.
Throw some on your butt cheeks.
Throw some on your butt cheeks.
Back to the episode.
Yeah, all the time.
I kinda was going through like a quarter life crisis
in a way of like, I've had two kids, you know,
the beginning of, you know, having a kid have,
going in the newborn stage,
that's almost like survival in a way,
because you're up all night, you're doing so many feedings.
It's a team effort between the husband and wife.
And so like, we had kind of gotten out of that.
And then I was just like, who the freak am I? Like who who and I'm like what's what's my purpose here what am I doing
so and so much more but yeah nothing about me though I want to talk about you
guys
you talk about my feelings it's even funny like joking about. Because like I that's I've always been like,
oh, I don't want like, I think we need to erase that stigma. Because I think men need to feel
comfortable to open up. So that's I love that men in Italy are more emotional. Like that's awesome.
But men, men here are too. They're just bottling it up. That's all that's happening. Just like
don't want to say because he definitely does bottle up a lot of things,
I must say.
He is very open about saying things,
but if we're going through something hard
in our relationship or our marriage,
he'll kinda keep it in.
And I always notice it because it comes out
in our daily life.
He'll just be like, he'll be short on something,
or if I ask him something, he'll be a little snippy.
And then I automatically know, I'm like,
okay, what's wrong?
You can read me easily.
I mean, it's very readable.
Yeah, I tried.
Sometimes I always say to her,
sometimes I prefer to hide something to you
because I don't want that you take too much of what I have.
So we have to share what we feel.
I always share everything.
When I was home sick, I always say to her.
Sometimes he is very like, he'll hide
because I suffer with anxiety and I like I have panic attacks.
But before, like he would try to hide things like so obviously, like to just to protect my feelings.
Like he'll be like, but like he's such a bad liar.
So he'll say and I'm like, I know that's not true.
So like, thank you so much for helping.
But it's actually not true.
Yeah. So like the house could be on fire and I'd be like, oh my God, the house on fire.
He's like, so the house is not on fire right now.
But it like literally, like you can't lie.
There was a little thing that in the moment she have a bad moment.
I don't want to show you, I don't want to be on top of your bad moment with my bad moment.
So in the moment I will say, I will prefer that I wasn't so obviously when I have a bad
moment.
Why a lot of the time when she's fine I would say,
today was this and this for me.
I feel free to speak with her.
No, but back to what Matt was saying about how,
where are you in life and like all that stuff.
I feel like our careers like very,
like if you're not doing the most, you're not doing enough.
And I feel like when me and Carlo, like that's our constant,
like when I went through my whole anxiety mental thing
last year, like I just shut down.
I was like, I don't wanna be on a video.
I don't wanna be on a TikTok.
I don't wanna post anything.
And it's like, that's our job.
So like, obviously we have to do that, but it's like, how do you push past like not wanting to,
like, I don't know how to explain it.
Like being empty pretty much,
and like just posting a video
and pretending that you're happy.
So like, I don't know, it's like really hard.
It's like a hard mixture.
And I feel like that's where like,
Carlo's like, hey, there needs to be a balance.
Like-
Yeah, no, I was gonna say that.
Yeah, you're right.
Like after at five o'clock,
if I'm at a dinner table and I'm eating
and he even tries to bring up business, I'm like, no.
Like, it can wait until tomorrow morning
because like I need to make a work-life balance.
Like it can't just always be like talking about business.
Yeah, but this happens because in particular
in our situation, we so I come here, I didn't know anything.
Yeah.
So she has to do everything.
Yeah, in the beginning I did all the videos,
all the thing, and then when he started learning it,
I shut down.
I was just like, okay, I'm kinda like,
wanna take a break for my mental health-wise.
What am I gonna go on a camera and cry?
Like, that's all I feel like doing,
so I'm just not gonna do it.
And then he stepped up and started doing it himself and then like it was
kind of like a weird yeah because in the moment I was like okay she is tired
right now because for one year and a half she has to do everything alone
yeah because I wasn't able to speak I have a free to email not even in just
in work like in life like in general the everything she has to do by herself for
an year and a half and say, okay, now she's so, she's so tired.
And for this, she's doesn't want to do anymore.
So I start to do more and more and more push myself more and more and more.
I arrived at a point that we were to the dinner table, maybe seven o'clock.
And I was like speaking about work and we have like an argument about
after that argument and say, wait, what's going on here?
I say to myself, I have to come down.
I don't have, I was too much involved in the work that I didn't respect the house stuff.
It didn't happen for a while.
Happens for like a bunch of mouth, but happens in the moment and say,
no, wait, wait, wait, it's seven o'clock, stop.
No work, no stuff.
Maybe-
Obviously if something needs to be submitted,
that's different.
But like if it's like we're sitting down
and he's like, oh, we should do this video idea.
And I'm like, I'm eating dinner right now.
Well, you know what it is.
So the balance is so-
More privacy, yeah.
I'm the same way.
I used to work 80 plus hours a week
and now I have more of a balanced life and I am so much happier. I, at five o'clock, I'm the same way, I used to work 80 plus hours a week and now I have more of a balanced life
and I am so much happier.
At five o'clock I'm off, I'm with the kids,
every morning I wake up and I feed my kids breakfast
and I'm there with them until eight
and so it's just like having that balance,
I feel a million times better.
A million times better.
And I always say like,
as much as you could be so successful
in what we're doing, I would rather just be mentally well.
100, no amount of money or fame is worth your mental health.
It's really not.
And I realized that last year I was like, no.
It's not just mental, but health in general.
And I tell Carl that all the time.
I don't, if it all, obviously I don't want it to go away,
but if it did, my mental health is okay, and your mental health is okay, okay. You't want it to go away, but if it did, like, and I, my mental health is okay,
and like your mental health is okay, okay.
You know what it is too?
There is a big trend on YouTube of creators quitting,
and it's because a lot of creators
have always done everything themselves.
When in the past and traditionally up to this point
with social media, media companies run as companies.
You have an editor, you have a videographer,
you have a producer, you have a director, you have the on-camera talent. Creators do all of that themselves.
And so after so long, they get burnt out. You get sick of doing the 80-hour weeks and you quit
because it's not sustainable. So what you have to do is you have to build out a team.
But then that's also hard. I've struggled, I've failed, I've made so many mistakes, hiring and
trying to learn how to be people's bosses
the past year and I didn't know what this freak
I was doing, I was just like learning as I went
but now I'm starting to finally understand it
and know how to hire well and just know that there's hope.
Like just know from one creator to another, there's hope.
It's just like really, it also like bothers me
and this could be my anxious brain
but I'm like I feel so stupid complaining about it
because it's like we have the most dream job ever.
And it's like, our job's not hard.
Like, listen, I've worked in a hospital for 12 hour shifts.
Like, I know what hard is and I know what working is.
And it's like, not like I'm working hard,
but it's like mentally, it's a lot.
It's like, you have to literally turn on your brain
like if you had to do a video and it's like.
It's just not sustainable for a human to work
80 plus hours a week.
And I think it's okay to do that for a time, especially if you're starting a business or,
you know, trying to give something a shot because sometimes in life you have to dig deep
and work really, really hard for a time to get yourself ahead, to be at a spot to where you
have provision and you're not living paycheck to paycheck. Sometimes you have to really dig
deep and do that. And I think we've all done that,
but you just have to recognize, okay,
now that time's over, I need to be a regular human now.
I need to not overwork myself.
Yeah, and we definitely don't, there are extremes.
I see some people on social media,
and good for them, extreme, money, money, money,
money, money, money, and I'm just like, listen,
I just wanna live in a field with 100 kids
and pick olives off a tree in Italy.
Like-
Wait, how many kids do you guys wanna have?
He wants like seven or six.
No way.
I'll take whatever God gives us.
Yeah, exactly.
I come from a big family, so you know,
I wanted as much sibling as much I have before.
Yeah.
As much as I still have.
But I mean, we are in God's hands. God, God, God
in the hands of God. So we believe in God. We believe in our destiny that God
give to us and we are ready for it. I'm so curious because you guys opened up a little
bit about this in the Q&A. I think you mentioned like you were on birth control
and then you started like on birth control and then you
started like losing some hair and then you stopped. If you're comfortable opening up about that,
I'd love to know more about like what that journey was like. When was when did I get up birth control?
Before me and Carl started dating, I actually got off of it and yeah, I lost all my hair like this
is fake. It's not real. And never go back, I like developed
like a hormonal imbalance from it.
And I was on it for a really long time.
They put me on it for like painful periods
when I was like 12.
Which I wish I never went on it,
but my mom didn't know what the time,
she was like okay whatever, like whatever the doctor says,
like go ahead and I just like stayed on it.
It wasn't for like protective purposes,
I just went on it.
And then I just got off and caused a horrible problem
in my body but.
So it's when you went off the birth control
that it just like your body had this adverse reaction?
I literally got off of it and like the next month
like my hair was falling out in clumps.
So then this is a wig then?
No, this is like all extensions.
Like the top part's like real.
But it's just like an extension that goes around.
But before it I had long luscious hair
and it just kind of went away.
So then you would never probably use hormonal birth control again?
No, no, no.
I don't use any birth control.
I haven't used any in years.
We just had Dani Austin on the podcast.
I don't know if you've heard her story, but she lost her hair.
She started wearing wigs and then she ended up like finding a formula to help with her
scalp health so that she could have better hair.
And now she even started selling that product
and then it became this big company.
So I feel like, yeah.
What is it called?
Divi.
Divi, yeah, it's like a scalp health product.
So it's pretty cool.
Interesting.
Wow, that's crazy.
So yeah, I guess like, I can totally understand then
how you'd be like,
yeah, I don't really wanna do birth control after that.
What's actually really cool though is that
she said she thought she was the only woman
that was struggling with that.
And then when she opened up about it,
such a huge community.
That's what happened with us.
We opened up about, I think I mentioned it like two years ago
in one of our first YouTube videos.
And everyone in the comments was like,
oh my God, that happened to me.
Cause postpartum it also happens.
Like my sister just said that it's starting to happen to her
cause she's three months now.
And like it's hormonal, like,
functu...
I can't find.
Yeah.
Functuation? You have find it. Functuation?
You have no idea.
Functuation.
Yeah, that.
So it would make sense if you're on birth control,
that's constantly feeding you a hormone.
The minute you take it away,
your body is like, what the hell just happened?
Yeah.
Wild.
It's honestly, that's one thing that I love
about social media.
I will say, the irony was when you should stop to say that.
You know you're not alone alone and it's so comforting.
This is what I love the most because we have the power, I don't like to say we have the power, but we have the power.
The microphone just say the things that people want to say. Yeah. Yeah exactly you can help somebody sometimes just to be brave with yourself and say what you feel,
what you have, what's your experience,
and in the moment you did, so you're brave,
because it's not easy to open yourself
with millions of person, you can found a huge community
that feel in the same way that you feel.
We also are very, what's it called, reserved too,
we don't even share 95, 98% of what goes on in our lives
because I'm very protective about...
In particular, family.
Yeah, our family.
People don't even know that I have a brother or a sister
because I don't post them.
I'm like, that's mine.
I don't know, it's a very weird feeling.
But even in our relationship,
we don't share a lot of what goes on.
And it's just like, I feel like it's good
that we could pick and choose,
but also it's like, sometimes I sit down
and I'm like, Carl, we should talk about this
because there's other people that are going through it.
I talked about briefly my mental health
and the amount of people in the comments
that were like, OMG, I go through the same thing.
And it's like, that probably helped that person
to know that not our lives
Are not perfect like I'm like it looks like it like when you're looking on a YouTube video
But behind the scenes like yes, and this will get back to your situation
I'm for me you were very brave brave is there I was brave to do what you did and you didn't stop either
If people get in the wrong way
You didn't you didn't the latest you wanted that song, you didn't delay that song.
That's brave.
Because you go through also if people were mean.
And in her situation, in every situation was different.
If they do the same thing, it will be different.
People will keep in different way.
Your situation also, if they keep in the wrong way,
you keep going.
And before then, you're gonna find a community
that's feeling the same way you feel.
That's good.
In my opinion.
I feel like if I ever said that, though,
they'd be like, what?
I feel so bad for Carlo.
Cause everyone's like.
Oh, you think?
Yeah, 100%.
Like it would be switching my situation.
Like whether it's like where I'm a girl or not.
Like I know that if I ever said that, they'd be like,
you're not happy with Carlo?
Oh, can be.
Because like Carlo is like a little angel, which he is.
Yeah, okay.
Oh my God.
I'm curious. Okay.
And you don't have to answer this if you don't want to.
But I'm guessing because you're Italy, I'm guessing you're Catholic.
And so I'm curious if you guys have strong
convictions on birth control because I know
at least back in the day, like I have my great grandparents were great or grandparents were
like very Catholic and they all had like a ton of siblings, like so many siblings because
none of them use birth control.
Um, not really.
I feel like we're both Catholic and um, it was never like a strong,
I don't know how to explain it,
like I never really, like obviously I love God
and like my family loves God and,
but I'm not, I don't know,
we don't have like that type of.
I mean, we really believe, we really believe
that there is a God that love us,
that it's good, that, you know,
if something happens in your life,
it's because I really believe that
this is what has to happen or for make you stronger or for you know there is a sentence
of the bible that you have a cross on you because you got the sides the sides of cross you can handle
you know what I mean it's like yes you you are tough life not because you can handle. You know what I mean? It's like yes, you are tough life, but because you can
handle this. God knows that you can handle that. Yeah, but like birth control wise, we definitely
don't have like, I personally... No, exactly. I'm sorry, I didn't finish my opinion.
No, it's just like with us, we got pregnant by surprise because we weren't using birth control
and then we knew that breastfeeding isn't like, like you shouldn't rely on that.
We were told that by Abby's gynecologist,
but yeah, all it took was one time and boom.
That's so funny.
Boom, boom.
Wait, did you get your period though
when you were breastfeeding?
No.
So how did that happen?
Exactly.
That is so funny.
You can ovulate without getting a period.
Really?
Cause I thought a period was because you ovulated and it just didn't work.
Like, it just didn't...
People tell me I'm dumb.
I'm like, I'm sorry.
You're like, I literally didn't have my period.
I think we need to teach women about their bodies a little bit more.
That's crazy.
I should probably tell my sister that because I think I told her that breastfeeding...
And we had Dr. Mike on the...
Google it.
Let's play it back.
I don't want to misquote Dr. Mike, but he's very, very highly educated, super, super smart
man and he told us that with perfect use.
So again, this is perfect use, not with like-
With breastfeeding as birth control, because it is a method.
Then it's 90, I think you said 98%.
And then we still got pregnant.
And then he also said, and it's also because if a woman's like hasn't had her period
period yet, but because you know that's with perfect use in people. We know Augie was meant to be.
Yeah he was, he was our yeah meant to be kid. He's a special little child. Back to your ass where I
would say you can believe or not believe in God. We believe but you can believe or not believe.
Bear control is something that and you are the proof in this case,
that doesn't mean you don't want to have a baby
or you won't have a baby.
Yeah, it's just like you're just in a time
that you're like, oh, maybe I don't want one right now.
Exactly, that's the destiny.
You can be in beer control, but still you can have a baby.
Yeah, we were the 2% for sure.
We're the 2%.
But still happens.
It's so funny.
So it's, I don't think that God will be mad with us if we are in big control or not.
I can't wait to see your seven children then someday hopefully.
I want to meet your seven kids.
I want to see what you name them.
Wait, oh yes, you think you're going to do like Italian names?
We already have our first three names picked out.
Sweet, okay so you were like we are going to be cranking out babies.
Hopefully.
Are you going to teach your kids Italian?
Oh, 100%.
I will speak Italian.
I think that's so cool.
I want our kids to go to a language immersion school.
I don't know if we're actually going to do that.
But it would be cool if they knew Spanish and English.
Because a lot of people, since we're close to Mexico,
speak Spanish here.
So that's awesome that you're going to teach your kids.
Yeah, he's going to only speak Italian.
I'm only going to speak English so they can be bilingual.
Nice.
That's what we think.
And then I'm like, when they start talking to each other
and I can't understand it, I'm like, okay.
You actually speak English.
Yeah, you're screwed,
because they can say stuff behind your back.
I do understand Italian though, mostly.
That's my plane.
But I feel like he's gonna come up with some words
that I don't know and he's gonna be like sneaky about it.
Do you speak Italian?
No, I try, but he makes fun of me.
You try.
But everyone's like, you make fun of him,
but like, he does it differently. Like I'll be at the table trying to talk, and he makes fun of me. You try. But everyone's like, you make fun of him, but he does it differently.
I'll be at the table trying to talk,
and he's like, say it.
Say it.
Say it to everybody.
I'm like, now I'm not gonna say anything,
because there's 40 people looking at me.
That's so funny.
But I grew up, my dad's,
my dad was my dad's first language, was Italian.
But we just didn't speak it in my house,
because my mom's not.
But whenever I'd go to my grandparents' house,
that's all they spoke.
I'm like a nerd on history and stuff,
so I'm so curious to your family's story.
Did your dad come over here for work?
Did he just decide, I wanna be American?
My nonna and nonna came here.
My nonna came here when she was pregnant with my dad.
So he never fully lived.
She was pregnant with him when she came here.
Got it.
I think when she was 30 or something.
And you know why they came over here?
Was there a specific reason?
Well, back in the day you could get your green card through a family member that wasn't American.
So like my nonna's uncle was here on a green card and she could get a green card through
him, which now you could not do. Like you have to be an American citizen to get a green
card through them. So they just came here for job opportunities to like work and like
there they didn't really have that many job opportunities.
Something I wanna end on,
last time we asked if our friends had any embarrassing
stories and our friends the Beastons told us about the time
that Derek saw his sister in Los Hoplis on a cruise.
I don't know if you guys have any crazy stories
or uncomfortable situations you've been in
because of language barriers,
but if there's anything that you're like,
dude, we gotta tell this story, this is hilarious, like, I would love to hear it.
We lived together, so we lived in my parents' house,
up on the third floor with my sister there too, so my sister lived on the same floor as us,
not in the same room, but we had our own apartment upstairs.
So there's plenty of situations where, like, my sister's very open, she's a little, like,
I don't know, she's very free spirited.
So she'll just go to the bathroom with the door open.
Like she doesn't care, she will not close the door.
Carlo will walk by the door and be like, ah!
I was like, oh, oh, oh!
I don't wanna see that.
But, so he's definitely seen that before,
or like he gets uncomfortable if like,
I would go to the bathroom with the door open,
because my family just, whatever,
I'll go to the bathroom and like,
Carlo's like, what are you doing?
There's just so many awkward, like my mom one time,
my mom was in the bathroom and Carlo's like,
oh.
You saw your mother-in-law going to the bathroom.
See, I mean.
In like a.5 second because he ran.
So thinking this way,
I come here from another country. My father-in-law, my mother-in-law
host me for two years almost in their house and there is this uncomfortable situation that I was
broken the privacy, the balance that they have. Yeah, like in a household.
Yeah, I mean her mother go in the bathroom quickly
and her sister as well.
And they didn't expect that another person walk
like over there because for many years
they did the same thing.
Or like my sister will just walk into my room
like with no shirt on and I'm like,
and Carlo like literally like no.
I will like in the moment I will out of the house.
Oh my gosh. Running on the will, like in the moment this is something I will out of the house. Oh my gosh.
Running on the yard, like stay on the yard
until the situation is done and then back.
But the most embarrassing thing,
I think with your father to me.
What happened with the father?
With the buns.
Oh, what happened?
It's not that, it's just like embarrassing for you.
So Carlo's like a very, he does everything for other people.
Like he doesn't care about what himself. Like he just will do everything to make somebody else happy. I saw that, it's just embarrassing for you. So, Carlos, he does everything for other people.
He doesn't care about what, himself.
He just will do everything to make somebody else happy.
So, my dad is a very, I don't know how to explain him.
He's the best guy in the world,
but you can never know if he's kidding or not.
He will just say something and you'll be like,
wait, was that a joke?
If you don't know his humor.
So, he was making hamburger buns
and he burnt a hamburger bun.
And so, Carlos was like, oh, I'll take the burnt one so that no one else can have the burnt one. They can have burnt a hamburger bun. And so Carlo was like, oh, I'll take the burnt one
so that no one else can have the burnt one.
They can have like the regular hamburger bun.
So Carlo grabs it, makes his hamburger.
My dad's like, dude, like I made that
because I wanted the burnt hamburger bun.
Carlo thought he was just like being nice
because he thought that it was burnt
and he was gonna let everyone else have the non-burnt one.
My dad actually burnt it for himself.
So like, it was just like.
Oh, legit.
Yeah.
Well, I've never heard someone doing that before.
Me neither.
So Carlos was like, oh, oh, oh, like, are you kidding?
He's like, no, like I actually wanted that.
Don't worry about it.
Like he wasn't mean about it,
but Carlos like every single time I make a decision
and it's like 50 50, I always make the wrong choice.
Like at all.
And it's true.
Like, and I always joke around, like it's always that way.
Like if there's a push pull door,
he's always pushing or pulling the wrong, like he's always that way. Like if there's a push-pull door, he's always pushing or pulling the wrong,
like he's always doing the wrong.
Sines went in high school.
If the teacher asked us like, okay, Longo,
what do you think about this?
It's this or this?
50-50?
Okay, this of course is the wrong one.
Every time.
Oh wait, no, I have.
If you give me three possibilities,
I can get the right one.
No, I have an embarrassing story.
No, wait, wait.
We'll end on this one
because it was actually a nightmare for me.
Maybe not you, but me.
So one of the first summers that we were together,
towards the end of the summer again,
we test drove the car multiple times.
And Carlo made a very nice date night for us in his room.
He put like candles on the ground in a heart shape,
like S plus C in a candle shape.
Great, very cute.
Is anybody home? I asked him.
He said, no, five times, nobody's home.
And then at one point he's like, oh, my sister's home,
but like, she can't hear anything.
No.
Wait, wait, wait.
She surely heard everything.
No.
What happened that my sister told you that?
Like two years after, she's like, by the way,
I love you, but I heard everything that night.
I'm like. No. I was like, the way no I love you but I heard everything that night I'm like
I was like because I say okay cement they don't hear anything their rooms are right next to each
other which so I should have known like I should have been like oh you know shared walls yep shared
walls what were you thinking yeah the doors are like this close to each other in that moment I
didn't think anything about that he was thinking about something other than that. In the moment I say, listen, I can't waste time.
Come on.
Oh my God.
If she won't go to the top stairs, she can go.
Oh my God.
And her aunt, his cousin was there too.
And she was like, I didn't know her that well at first.
So I'm like this poor girl.
Like I was so embarrassed.
And Carl was like, it's fine.
It's just my sister.
I'm like, it's fine.
Well, you didn't know for two years though, right?
Yeah, no.
In my head, I'm like, no no one was home like they definitely didn't
hear and then when she like told me she was laughing I'm like I'm going to kill
him yeah yeah no oh wait and there's another one please don't, no, that was the worst. Yeah, this is actually the top worst. Okay, okay. This
is the real worst. This is worse than my sister actually. Yeah, this is the last one. No,
this is the top one that in the moment I really wanted to go down by myself. We live on the
third floor of my house and my parents are under us. Oh no. And so obviously I'm very
respectful. We didn't, we definitely did do that,
but in a respectful way, because again,
we didn't see each other for a few months at that point.
So like when he came back, you know,
we're just normal people, like we were, whatever.
One morning my dad came downstairs and was like,
just wanted to let you guys know.
Could you guys be a little quieter?
Oh gosh.
Wait, get worse.
No.
Marv was sitting on the couch.
Get worse.
No.
Get worse.
Get worse.
I hope it didn't get worse than that.
That's the situation.
Air father up here, speak with Sarah up.
I was on the couch because I didn't understand anything.
He didn't understand anything
he didn't understand what my dad was saying each other so they were talking
about this I was like he didn't know what he was saying I was laughing about
yeah he was laughing so he was saying to us to be more less loud not even loud, sorry, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yeah. Then after he's like, wait, I was just laughing about that? But then did you go and clarify?
Did you clarify your dad?
No, no, we just never talked about it again.
Oh, gosh.
I say, let's get out of here because I can't.
So if Sarah's dad's listening, he didn't understand.
Dad, please.
No, no, he probably,
he probably understand that they didn't understand.
Okay.
Because I was like with the silly faces that he.
Yeah, because if you know Carlo, he's very respectful.
So he would have if he knew he would have been like, no, I really
sorry, but we really get out of the house because I couldn't see
father face for the wife.
I was like, we've never said that story before.
So well, then you guys would be feeling comfortable.
Stories like, oh, no, we just had to disappear and I don't know.
Yeah, I don't know how to disappear.
We love you guys.
It was so fun getting to meet you
and thank you for bringing us donuts.
They brought us donuts.
We had to bring you England to you
because Dunkin' Donuts.
Oh yeah.
I was gonna say like Boston.
Yeah.
We would have brought something on the plane
but I feel like that's really good.
I want to find some Italian pink
but I didn't find any pink around.
Yeah, we went to another donut shop and it was closed.
So I'm like, let's just stick with Dunkin' Don. We know what's good. Yeah. And where can people find
you guys on social media? Carlo and Sarah everywhere. I'm like Carlo and Sarah TikTok,
Carlo and Sarah Instagram, Carlo and Sarah on YouTube. Cute. That's so sweet. Yeah.
The same for everything. Awesome. Well, thank you everybody for watching and we'll see you in the
next episode. Peace.