The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby - Emergency C-Section, Hemorrhaging, and Baby in the NICU with My Brother and Sister-in-law

Episode Date: November 15, 2023

In this week's episode, we were joined again by Matt's brother and sister-in-law Caleb & Abigail! They both opened up and shared the story of their traumatic birth experience in having to have an emergency C-section, suffering from significant hemorrhaging, and having their baby in the NICU. This episode is sponsored by Vegamour Visit Vegamour.com/unplanned and use code UNPLANNED at checkout to get in on Vegamour's biggest sales of the year during Black Friday and Cyber Monday. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

These side marios all you can eat is all you can match a soup salad and garlic Homemove It means so much to kids when you bring clay into parenthood Remember that your cameo appearances make their games and make believe extra special You're the supplier of silly voices, you're an accessory to adventure, you're their co-contractor, you're their taste tester, their number one fan, their teammate, or their Nemesis. This season make a great thing even better. Play together, remember forever. We had to go in for a C-section which was unplanned. That's when my mental shift kind of, I was like,

oh this is emotionally really gonna be tough. Epidural, it's fentanyl. Yeah, it is. That was just high the whole time. We don't get the boost of oxytocin or a brain that make us think it was all magic. We're just like rationally experiencing it all. Oh wait, are you guys saying it's harder for the day?

Yeah. Just no. Finally get to sleep after like two days and the two hours later than nurses have come in. I love the nurses but I was literally like you guys are a joke I don't even know people like to touch on with you guys I'm pumped it out like this the nurse like comes over to me and she's like you're losing more blood than like you should be And welcome back to the unplanned podcast We are joined today by my brother and sister-in-law.

Let's give it up for Caleb Howard and Abby Howard, who literally at the same name as my wife. They just had- We can't talk about it. We can't, yeah. I don't know. It's either confusing or convenient. Everyone knows that at this point, right? I'm pretty sure.

I think- Unless you're new. Unless you- I don't know, we have the exact same name. Which I think really throws people off They're like how are you guys related like as the first name is running a fan? We talked about that last episode, right? We did so they should just watch the yeah If you haven't watched that one that was pre-birth and now they just literally had a baby

You're about to celebrate three months of having a baby. Uh-huh. So congratulations celebrate three months of having a baby. So congratulations. Thank you. That's just giving up. So big of a gift. He's literally right here. He's just chilling with us. Yeah, while we, while we, while we,

he's feeling good. He is a good baby. How are you guys doing? Great. How's the parenthood life going? I think it's been really on easier transition than I thought it was going to be, thankfully. No way.

Yes. I feel like that's, I feel, I'm so curious because for us, I feel like it was almost, it was the opposite. Yes. I feel like that's I feel I'm so curious because for us I feel like it was almost It's been different. It's an easier. I think everyone I'll tell people we talk to or like you just got to get through it like people really like the first three months Like it's just you'll blank and it'll three months, like, it just, you'll blink and it'll be passed. And like, so I was prepared for the worst. Yes. But I think we literally got the best baby ever. Yes. I think it does make a difference. He barely cries. He's like, we talk about that a lot. He doesn't really cry. So little that we

went to the doctor. So little that we went to our pediatrician, we asked him, he asked how he was doing. We were like, well, is he too good? Is he so good that something's wrong? Yeah. He only cries when he's hungry and when he's got a bad diaper. Yeah, I was kind of sleep when he's tired. I don't know. Genuinely asking, is there something wrong?

Is he mute or? Yeah, it's he am mute. It's like we were scared, but he hears good and he startles so he said he was okay Great. I just I love how chill he is right now. I'm just like looking at it I love that he's just literally like making eye contact with you being fully entertained. This is our first live show What do you mean? We've a live audience. Oh, we have a live audience, man. That's right.

We have a studio audience. Audience, clap your hands. Wait, they just shout out that they're live on. Wait, wait, wait, you're not going to edit this to make us look good. Yeah, I love that. I love that he's been so good for you guys. I really do. I'm really happy that it's been so happy for you guys. I really do. I'm really happy that it's been... I'm so happy for you.

I really need that. But there's the thing that it doesn't... Like, your experience still has been... Like, they're still doing all the same stuff. Yeah. Yeah. And you guys are just... I mean, I've thought of this about you since being my... I don't even think I've really told you, but like, the way that you have transitioned in the motherhood has been like... So incredible to watch just because... It's so natural to you.

Like, just seeing you's so natural to you. Just seeing you is so in tune with everything with your baby and this whole process and it's really inspiring for me to watch. And the way that you just handle everything was so much joy. And like every little thing about it, you can just tell that it just like fills you up and it's really cool to watch. Wow, thank you. I appreciate that.

I didn't think that that would be the case for me, truly. When we found out we were pregnant, we talked about this before, but we were very felt very unprepared. And I think emotionally, spiritually, financially, just kind of felt a little, I think I just said it unprepared. And then as the time went on, I just, I could not picture myself with a newborn. I did not know how that was going to be.

And even seeing you guys with Griffin, I feel like gave us a really good picture of, okay, here's what the time commitment looks like. Here's what breastfeeding looks like. And you guys set such a good example for us. So I was like, okay, I feel like I can picture it. But when we would go visit Griffin, if he got upset, we would hand him to you. You know what I mean? You were the got upset, we would hand him to you. You were the parent, so you would handle the hard things.

And so I just never pictured, I'm like, oh, I'm going to be that person that they're going to hand the baby to when he gets upset. Or, you know, and that really freaked me out. I think I changed Griffin's diaper once and I'm like, I'm good. But now, obviously, I changed this diaper daily. Yeah, I think so we just did not feel parenting, but then when he came into the world, I appreciate you saying that because I do feel like

it did change kind of instantly. I was like, oh my gosh, I love the newborn stage. I love just watching him. And all the things that seemed so terrible, like snuggling him when he was crying or changing his diapers or being up late in the middle of the night to feed, did feel very sweet. And yeah, is that only a mom thing?

Did you feel that same way, Matt? I know, I feel like you've said that. Like you felt the same, right? Well, okay. Something I did feel guilty about is with both boys, but especially with Ogi. Maybe it's because the birth happened so fast, but when he came, I didn't feel like, I wouldn't say it was instantly like you said.

Like I think it was like, I was like, there's a baby in here, that's my baby. I had to like remind myself. I almost, which I felt kinda like, I feel almost guilty to say, because I didn't have like an instant moment, but then like as each day, especially as things started to get more normal, especially when we left the hospital, I started to feel that like it came in like a rush of emotions. But I wouldn't say it happened instantly.

I don't think Matt, I don't want to speak for you, but did it happen instantly with Ogi? Like the connection? Yeah. Oh definitely not. Yeah. Definitely not. I think I'm like, I'm so much more connected to Griffin. And we joke lightly, right?

Because we love our boys equally. And obviously, it's easier to connect with Griffin right now since he can interact with us. And I'll laugh at him and the whole laugh bag at me. And he's starting to say words now. And so it's just so much easier to connect with him. But it doesn't change the way that we love our kids. But it is harder. I much easier to connect with him, but it doesn't change the way that we love our kids. But yeah, it is harder. I think when they're that little

and you're literally just keeping a human alive to have some sort of close relationship really when they're not really able to interact with you. So I'll ask, let me reframe it maybe slightly. I feel like moms when they are, even though it's still like growing and time obviously you get closer, but you know you're breastfeeding and you're doing that every three hours for 30 minutes, whatever it is. Now you with Griffin, you've in your second, do you feel like you have that connection with Augie? I feel like Do you feel like you have that connection with Ogi? I feel like you feel like you get to parent.

I feel like I just had nothing to give and I didn't have that connection. And I'm just like, oh, you're just kind of there. But every month, as he develops more and now he can make eye contact. And now he's starting to smile. Like, I'm feeling like I can actually be a dad more Yeah, and in the first early weeks and months it was like I'm just here Well, I thought it was funny because your sister-in-law was giving you crap for coming over to our house

And I think your son was here and then I grift was here and you went to go and say hi to Grift first She's like are you serious? You're not gonna say how to your own kid. But it's just like, but it's true though, like when they're really, really young, you can't have that same sort of relationship. You still love them so much, but it's like, he's not gonna remember that you wouldn't set hydro-grey in first.

And it doesn't change how much you love your kid, but when he sees me, it's awesome. Yeah. He really, he really, really likes you. I think that you're the favorite of Griffith. You're trying to keep it that way. I'm definitely, I'm trying to, it's awesome. Yeah. He really, he really, really likes you. I think that you're the favorite of Griffins. I'm trying to keep it, you're the boy. I'm trying to keep it that way. You're definitely one of Griffins' favorite

and it's cool how he's got to live in that. You want to go see Caleb, he came, he like, stopped it, he was doing it, he started walking in. Oh my God. So sweet, so cute. Yeah, I think maybe, I'll go back, I don't know if it was instant like after birth, but I think maybe because TJ was in the NICU for a couple days

That when we finally when he finally got to come to our room and like I got to spend more than like 30 minutes with him at a time I was just so like oh my gosh. This is finally our baby Yeah, and I think that was maybe where like the joy switch happened was like right at the end of the hospital stay when I was like oh oh my gosh, he actually feels like ours and we own him. Yeah, it's not just. Yeah, so I think that was when that happened. Okay, you just said something that I feel like totally,

where like, well, we need to rewind a little bit. Yeah, you gotta, you gotta go through the whole NICU thing, you guys were in the hospital for a while. What was your birth experience and that whole event? Was that anything of what you expected at all? No. Not even. Not even. You said something when you talked about your C-section, you said it was so beautiful. And after listening to that, I remember sitting there and I was like, I think our birth was a lot of things but I would never describe it as beautiful. Which made me kind of sad thinking

about that, but it was, yeah, I think we had almost every curveball that I felt could have happened to happen. You, I think it's okay to say, you met up with one of our nurses in the hospital. And like, obviously we wanna have more kids, but just thinking about the whole hospital situation, and this is not a knock on any of the doctors or nurses, they made the experiences best as they possibly could have made it just medically and what happened.

Like, I don't have good thoughts about the whole birth process. I'm like, I don't have good thoughts about the whole birth process. I don't want to think about that. Yeah, I think we've we've had to process a lot of what happened. So I'll just kind of fill in. Wait, hold up. What were your expectations going in? I thought, you know, I'm active, healthy, young, like I'm just going to go in there and push this baby out and it'll be awesome. And I was expecting pain, I was expecting that, like none of that, I wasn't really scared at all for labor. So I was, I'm like every, every labor is beautiful, like it's gonna be such a cool experience. And I would say that it was up until after three and a half hours of pushing.

I thought it was cool and awesome. Like I would go into the hospital tomorrow and have a baby and push again. Like I just thought that whole scenario was so cool and cool and awesome. Like I would go into the hospital tomorrow and have a baby and push again. I just thought that whole scenario was so cool and empowering and fun. And it was mentally, extremely draining and exhausting, but we were laughing, we were having fun. I mean, I have sweet memories of us and there are emotional ups and downs during it. And things that were hard that happened

during the actual like laboring part. But then pushing for three and a half hours, CJ ended up being stuck and his head could not descend under my pelvis bone and it was kind of in like a weird positioning and then ended up getting an infection. So we had to go in for a C section which was unplanned and that was kind of in my mind. That was where the switch turned from like, oh, this is cool and joyful to holy crap. We're pressing the restart button

on something that I've just, we've just put so much time in like 60 hours, three days of time into this. And my body is so exhausted. And now I'm about to press start and do it all over from the beginning. And not really. I was so sad about that, truly. Yeah, for a lot of people, I feel like C-section is the worst case scenario. Mm-hmm. So yeah. I remember we were talking to you guys. I think we went and saw the Barbie movie together. And you guys are so excited. You're like tomorrow's the day, we're gonna go like meet our baby. Yeah.

And you were, I think it was like some sort of like tablet or something that you were getting to help induce labor. And we were like so excited for you, but also at the same time like, oh crap, I don't think they realized like what this is about to be. And we had no idea that you guys were like, obviously, we had no idea what to, like, fully what you guys were, what you were going to go through. But we knew, we had a feeling it's the, a lot more, what you expected. And so like one day went by and like the baby was in there.

And then it was like two days went by and it just kept taking longer and longer. Were you, I don't know, I mean. Well, we're things you were doing during labor to keep your spirits up. I mean, we were excited the whole time I thought. I thought like, I thought it was really fun. We went on lots of laps.

We walked around the hospital a bunch because I was on Patocin at that point once I got admitted. So we were walking around, you know, taking laps, laughing, joking. The nurses were so fun. We loved chatting with them. I mean, we had them use it going. We're praying. We're reading. We watched a little bit of the show quarterback on Netflix. I mean, we were just keeping our mind busy. And then once I got it felt like a, like a middle school sleepover summer party.

I feel like I'm saying that, because all the nurses were out. It was middle of the night on Saturday. And they were all the nurses wrapped their chit-chatting and laughing. We were having snacks. We were having snacks in like soda. And he was like, this literally feels like a slumber party.

And he did. It was so fun. But then I feel like when I got the epidural, I just was not mentally prepared for my body to feel paralyzed. And that was kind of crazy. It's like that's when my mental shift kind of, I was like, oh, this is emotionally really gonna be tough.

You can't move anything? No, mine was so strong, he had to lift my legs. Like I couldn't, I was so dead and I felt like pins and needles in my legs the whole time. It's so crazy how different experiences with the epidural are because when I got the epidural, I was like, I literally looked up,

can you get high from the epidural? You literally can't, there's nothing in there that can make you high. It's just like something can happen when it's like, you feel so much relief. Like I felt so much relief, I was like in a euphoria. So you took a video and I was like goofy. Like I was like, you feel so much relief. Like I felt so much relief. I was like, in a euphoria. So you took a video and I was like goofy. Like I was like, well you would be fine.

I thought I was high. No one talks about this. Epidural, it's fentanyl. Yeah, this is fentanyl. It's fentanyl. And then I googled it, because we just watched like a war movie recently. And they use like morphine, you know.

You get shot and they give them morphine. I'm like, okay, what is this compared to morphine? It's like a hundred times more powerful than morphine. That's insane. And what does that tell you guys about how painful it is? That's insane. That's insane. So you get shot.

It's like, it's like they're on the battlefield, bro. Like birth is like the battlefield and we're getting this medicine. And then all of a sudden I was given, like the best thing in the world, I was really like, I can't feel the thing. And I was so relieved. I thought that I was high.

Yeah. Honestly, I hated the epidural, but I would do it all over again. I had a weird reaction. Like I woke up in the middle of the night and I thought I was having a seizure. Like I couldn't, and I know the shakes are common, but I couldn't control any of the muscles

and like my face, my body. Like I was, I couldn't even move my hands to like press the button for the time. I still feel my body. I couldn't even move my hands to press the button for the turn. I still feel contraction, so I couldn't really sleep. Really? Through your epidural? I could still feel it. No, I'm sorry.

I couldn't stop the shaking enough to try to press the button. It was really struggling. I was shaking so intensely. You were. Did that give you anxiety? I had shakes too. Yeah, which I think is really common. They put heavy blankets on me, because I was like, yes.

Yes, yeah, you can't control. It's scary. But they also didn't give me a button to get more. Oh, they did give me that. Is it because you're cold? Were you shivering? I didn't feel cold. But once they kind of changed your position, they sat me up,

and they gave me sugar. You know, I brought my blood sugar back up, and I felt better. But I don't know, just the whole thing kind of freaked me out and then just feeling like I couldn me sugar. You know, I brought my blood sugar back up and I felt better, but I don't know, just the whole thing kind of freaked me out and then just feeling like I couldn't move. So I feel like that kind of changed my mood a little bit from giddy to kind of like, okay, I'm scared. This is good and tough. Yeah, you guys want us this video of you walking in the hallway at the hospital and you

look so happy and so excited and I just felt horrible for you guys. So like, they feel like they're going to have this baby like so soon and I just knew that it wasn't gonna happen anytime soon. I just knew and I was like, I hate this for them. Like, it's just brutal. It does have reality. It's so amazing, but then it's also just like so brutal and I did not, I didn't want you guys to have to go through.

I don't feel like most women look back on it several years later and think of it as brutal mess That's what I think it's I think it has to be the hormones that are released after birth I really do exactly you remember it how it was We don't get the boost of oxytocin or a brain that make us think it was all magic You know, I'm a boost of oxytocin in my IV It's true, they do give it that. I was like, what is that? Happy juice.

You came, I remember in, we all just high the whole time. We're not going through it. Right? And we're just like rationally experiencing it all. We're like, this sleep deprived, sleeping on a couch. Oh, wait, are you guys saying it's harder for the day? Yeah.

No, I'm not saying that are you saying that? I'm the oppressed one here Oh my gosh, I feel like we should give Caleb a briefing on what you can and can't say on social media. Oh, hello. You need a briefing. I can't say it for more times. Okay, what was the timeline from the tablet to the Potosan to the epidural? So we went in Friday morning, pretty early, got the first round of side attack, which

was a very easy experience. Had that that whole we came back we went to the movie not an oral pill no it's not oh that's the price for him where's the where's the pill go um the price for me oh you didn't know going in true in badgen of the time don't don't say it can you not say that no you can say anything I've got demonetized Can you not say that? No. You can say anything at the time. You got demonetized now. You can say the gin on YouTube. Stop. Stop.

Stop. I don't. I don't know. What are people telling their kids to say these days? Is it like pooty or something? Like what do they tell it? They're poot or like what? Why don't these are squishies.

So these are squishies? Yeah. Are you guys going to use those terms to your kids? No, probably just to call them what they are. Yeah. I don't think guys gonna use those terms to your kids like all the just calm what they are? Yeah, I don't think they're weird. I think it makes I'm a joke and say it will win my little two-year-old like kids. I would nanny would be like my penis hurts. I'm like I don't know what Do you remember we used to call boobs? We used to wear kids?

I did not remember that. Was that just me? I think it was. I maybe I just made that word up. That's hilarious. Oh my gosh, okay. For now you say that. I remember you saying.

Yes. I used to say that. But I don't think I did. Why did it come up so much? We call each other butt heads too. That was like our biggest insult as kids. We'd be like, you're a butt head. Yeah. But but but in their houses a bad word. We'd have to say touch I know when I said we were inviting me with college with a butt heads and we would get in trouble

I said but I was like Feels wrong. We gotta be careful. We say for them. He knows words No, even I say crap. I'm like, oh he understands everything he could repeat that and then that's gonna sound really bad Is it weird that he like understands words, but can't say anything bad? Like I'll be like Griffin go get your sippy cup like a whole sentence and then he'll just go do it Now he has one word you can't say it Sorry. Yeah, do you think he's playing with you? Yeah, he can't say the words very well

Maybe we shouldn't have done baby sign because maybe that's why he's not. No, but he'll say more. He loves food so much. He'll be like, ma. Ma. Ma. He just keeps doing that. I love this very thing.

But he sounded out for him. So he'll go more. Oh, no, but he goes ma. He says ma. He says ma. He is so smart on. Anyway, my A.D.A. She got to vest me there.

Okay. Back to what you were saying about the pill. Okay, so smart on his. Anyway, my A.D.A. She got to vest me there. Yeah, okay. Back to what you were saying about the pill. Okay, so Friday morning we went in for Santa Tech first round. Okay. Then we labored at the movie. Contractions weren't too terrible. Went back Saturday morning, got the second round. And then while I was there, they're kind of,

I mean, I just hadn't progressed that much. So they gave me the fully balloon. Which people are so, there's a lot, I was so scared for that. People were very dramatic about that on TikTok. You guys don't go to TikTok for medical advice because people want to scare you. It really wasn't that bad.

No, the algorithms just get a post the most over the top video, which is gonna be a negative experience. You know, entertaining, it gets people to watch the whole thing to the end. If someone says, I took this pill and it was a great experience No one's gonna watch that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so I Yeah, so we got the balloon then they sent us home to like labor

This things up full on water balloon. So they pulled it out. I almost punched the nurse So that goes up there too. Yes, I got annoying for you guys having stuff casually shoved up there Let's watch you got from French in, yes. Oh my gosh. It definitely, well, I had that. Once you get that but early, you don't feel anything. You're kind of like, do whatever you need to.

Okay. You get to a point, and I've understood my mom said this. She's like, once you go through labor, you don't care. You really don't care. I guess at a point where you're just like, do what you gotta do. Put it up there, pull it out, stick me with anything you need. Like you just kind of were like, see what you need to see.

Do what you need to do. Yeah, literally. This episode is sponsored by Begumorm. I remember distinctly a couple years back. I was talking to my friends about hair, and I was telling them what I used for my hair wash routine. And they were like, girl, out of pure love and care for you, you need to update your hair care routine.

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Visibly thicker, fuller, shinier and longer without all of the harsh crap that's in a lot of the more affordable things. Matt, didn't you use shampoo and conditioner from the dollar store? I used to use shampoo and conditioner from the dollar store. I am proud to say that I no longer do that. I used it in college. I was not aware of all the ingredients. I just never read the ingredients, honestly. And the ethics of it, and that's the great thing about vagamore is that every cute pink bottle is 100% cruelty free, and they're never formulated with potentially harmful chemicals or hormones,

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the best deals on Vegemores line of products. Vegemore dot com slash unplanned code unplanned. Now back to the episode. When they pulled the nurse Shannon, she kind of, she's like, I'm gonna pull this balloon out. And I, what do you mean you're gonna pull it out? She's like, I'm gonna pull it out. She goes one, two, three, and yanked it. And I go, what do you mean you're gonna pull it out? She said, I'm gonna pull it out. She goes, one, two, three, and yanked it, and I go, shenan, and I grabbed her arm. I literally almost punched it. Oh my God. I go, I'm so sorry, almost punched it.

Most of our nurses were younger girls, like under 30, probably. But Shannon was the one that's like, she's been around the world. Yeah, she's been working for her. Not saying she was old, but she's like, she's been to experience. She's been to experience things. She's been to experience things. Yeah, and she just was for her. But she's like, she's experienced. She's just great. She's doing some things. Yeah. And she just was

like, we're just gonna get this over with. Yeah, we're just gonna do what we got. She wasn't gentle. So then after that, I had been dilated enough once they pulled the balloon out to get admitted and get Potosan. So that was maybe like 330 on Saturday. And then I got the epidural around 1130 that night. Wow. So it all started Friday morning. Then you had the whole Saturday thing with the balloon and the patosin and then you said what happened at night? I got the epidural that night.

Gotcha. Yes. And then that was when I was kind of, okay, we're in the bed and it wasn't until 3pm the next day that I was able to start pushing. And it was similar to you with Griffin. We hadn't progressed at all and then progressed super fast within like an hour or two. And so they kind of made it seem, oh, you're gonna start pushing,

your baby's gonna be here within the hour, maybe two hours max. So we texted all of you guys to come to the hospital thinking that our baby was gonna arrive, C2 was gonna be there, ended up pushing for a lot longer than was expected three and a half hours, which I think I maybe said that.

And then yeah, everything tumbled back down and to go in a surgery. Did you get any sleep before all that? Yeah, like in and out some. Yeah. No. What were you doing Caleb? Trying to sleep. I had an I mask. Yeah, he has an I mask city war that says, well, you'd be my rides made.

Really? Show him what I haveid It's yours it's silk So I flip it inside out so no one could read it But isn't it like not as comfy when you flip it inside out? Yeah, because the embroidery of will you be my bridesmaid across my eyeballs? When did you realize that it wasn't gonna be the fun slumber party sleepover that you thought it was gonna be? I mean, honestly, like, even the sleeping on that couch like the first night was fine. It was once you went into like, see section. Yeah.

It was kind of, well, wait, I want to share this story because I don't think we told you guys this, when I was getting the epidural, you know, they have your partner like sitting in front of you my legs they raised the bed and my foot was rested on Caleb's knee and during it when they're putting the needle in my back Caleb didn't realize his feet were like up on his toes and he moved his leg and dropped it and I go what did I say to you? I don't know. I go don't move muscle or something like that like he shifted me when he was giving me that for a drill.

So, stab me in the back. That's scary. That's really scary. Well, wow. They didn't let him be in when they gave me. No, I was in there. For Oggy. For Griffin, yes, but for Oggy now.

You couldn't even be in there. It wasn't bad at all. I was nervous for that. It wasn't bad. So yeah, I think once they, it got more serious once they went into the C section. And after that, it was pretty much alone like the rest of the night, which I think once they it got more serious when they went to the C section and after that I was pretty much alone like the rest of the night which I think was really hard.

Mm-hmm, yeah. You came in, they had Caleb come in later, like he wasn't there for any of the prep or anything in the C section, so he was gone for like the first couple minutes and they were opening me up and then after they had me opened up they had Caleb come in. So I was alone for like the first half and then then once CJ came out, he was stuck in both directions. So I wasn't going to be able to push him out. And then his head, like they were having a hard time pulling him out the opposite direction. Which was like, I think just proof that the C section was the right move.

But also crazy when I'm like back in the video, you can like see that, like me moving on the table because they're pulling so hard. And then when he came out, he didn't cry for a while. I remember we... And I don't know if it was a while or like you're just expecting it. And so time feels like it slows down, you know? It might've been like five seconds,

but it felt like a while. I really don't know how long it was, but it just, it did feel like. It felt like a long time. And then when he first cried, we started crying. It was a really sweet moment. Yeah. And then kill got to announce. It's a boy. Yeah. Which was so fun. That was so fun. There was a penis. Yeah. We like to say that. We actually like to say peepie on this podcast.

There's a PP. So that was really fun. And then maybe you can talk about him going into the NICU. Wait, hold that. Wait, hold the breaks for a second. I remember you Caleb, you keep coming out over and over again while we were there because like, you know, labor wasn't progressing. Then there was the, we had to switch gears and you guys had to do a C section. I, I just felt like so,

I felt so bad for you guys, but like, I remember there's a point where like, I think it almost looked like you were about to cry. Now it was like, dang, like I, I do not want to be in this shoes right now. I got even know really what to say at that moment to say at that moment, I guess how did you feel with all that? Like were you keeping it together? Did you feel like you were about to fall apart since you hadn't gotten much sleep and then you just had a million curve balls thrown out? You like how did you feel through all of that?

Yeah, I don't really remember. I also feel like in the moment, I wasn't like processing everything and I like just got to get through it. I think mostly was like sleep deprived maybe. Yeah, I don't know. I don't remember coming out before the C section to, did I come out before the C section to talk to you did yeah I

don't even remember that really I mean a lot of it those like three four days really was like a blur and just all kind of ran together and I mean you guys were there for a long time you guys came to the hospital on three or four and we didn't have C-J until 10. That's right. We did so long, which is really, that to me is so touching. I was, that's what you're even thinking about that, because I was worried that I don't know, like at what point it was like,

maybe we should go because we're just like, it's on your mind that's like, oh, there's people here and I don't know. We should feel bad for you guys. We're like, who cares about us? Like we can, we can just sit, we're just sitting in a chair. We're excited. I wouldn't know. We're so bad for you guys. We're like, who cares about us? Like we can just sit. We're just sitting in a chair. We're excited.

I wouldn't do it anything. Like obviously the birth plan did not go to plan. Exactly not that you had like a strict plan. But I was like so excited. There was no way I would have wanted to be anywhere else. Like I literally the whole day, Matt was trying to give me like do stuff. I'm like, we can't be going to the hospital.

What are you doing? I was like, trying to make my day look stuff. I'm like we can't be going to hospital. What are you doing? Trying to make my look busy. I didn't sleep then I thought for sure you were gonna text us and be like So I just like kept checking my phone. I was like how are you sleeping? I really woke up in the middle and I was like Like literally he just like Abby was really excited I gotta just do something and so I built that shuffle board table up there I just do something and so I built that shuffle board table up there. I couldn't do anything like that. I actually productive.

I felt kind of like, I kind of felt like what I would imagine like a dad would feel like. During that, I was just like, here we go. It was game day like. I was like so excited. But yeah, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. But I was like, man, I hate that this isn't going like, you know, so smoothly. But CJ comes and he's a healthy guy, except a couple hiccups.

And so that got him in the nick of year. So you guys want to talk about that experience. Yeah, like we said, they pulled him out, didn't start crying. I didn't even know this. But I didn't know what the rules were. Like the screen was there. And yeah, and I was sitting in a chair.

I definitely could have stood up and like saw over. I've always been like a rule follower and I didn't wanna get yelled at. So I just stayed there. As a troublemaker, he didn't even sit down. I sit up, I kept, like I would stand up and sit. They told me I could sit down and stand up. I had both options.

There was a chair for me. So, pull them out, does start crying. It's a boy, all of that. They go to like weigh him and everything. And they have this little like it goes over his mouth. And you can see his breathing and it's like chest cavities like really like he's working hard. The nurses were great and they were like, this is pretty normal. He'll be fine. He just needs some help getting some of the fluids out. He was fine, but then they're like, yeah, we want to, then they start, I hear him like, paging, making their calls, like, prepare,

get the room ready for the NICU. And I'm like, okay, you're telling me this is like normal, but because I don't know. You didn't get to see him, Abby. Did you? They brought him over when I was't know. I didn't get to see him, Abby, did you? They brought him over when I was laying there. Oh, okay. So did I picture her.

Yeah, and I got to like look at him and give him a kiss, but yeah, that was, it was maybe 30 seconds. Okay. Really? And that was it. When we took a picture or two. I forgot about that picture. Yeah, yeah, I remember that.

But there was a fleeting moment. I mean, they wanted to get him admitted. It's good that you got to see him. Yeah. And then get to see Oggy much in that room anyway. Yeah. I don't think that's uncommon. And then it was weird. So they take him, they take him to the NICU. And I'm like, do I be with my wife who they're showing back up? Do I go with my son who he's in the NICU? Yeah. So it definitely was like a weird, I didn't know what to do or pick. I asked you. And you're like, go be a CJ. But that's when I went out to you guys and your parents. Is there anyone else that was there? Yeah. yeah. And got to announce to you guys, it's a boy.

That was fun. That was fun. But also was like, I was excited telling you guys, but also kind of stressed. So I'm like, okay, they're selling Abby up. They're taking CJ to the NICU. Like I wanted, I was like telling you, but then wanted to like bounce back from me.

Right, right, right. Abby, did you want Caleb with you? Or like, how did you make the decision on to have Caleb go with CJ or stay with you? Well, in my mind, I'm like, this is pretty routine. I can advocate for myself. I can make my own decisions here. Like, I'm fine. So go be a CJ and make sure he's okay and talk to the nurses there. And just, you know, so I was like, please go with CJ. He's a little baby. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, then I'm gonna cry. What? You have to talk about it. It's I feel like I have like processed it all, but I don't even know if you like sat down with you guys and talked it out like this. But that's when things like are really scary. And I remember like

Caleb left and the nurse like comes over to me and she's like the anesthesiologist. She's like a really scary. And I remember like kale blabs and the nurse like comes over to me and she's like the anesthesiologist. She's like, we're gonna start giving you some more medicines and you're losing more blood than like you should be. And they're very calm in it, but I can hear like the doctors, you know, you can hear them to the whole thing. And I'm laying there and she's like,

you're losing a pretty good amount of blood. And in my mind, I'm starting to like go in and out of like consciousness, like I was so tired and exhausted. And I'm like getting sick, like I'm throwing up to the sides of me and I can feel them like putting pressure because I had started hemorrhaging and losing a lot of blood. And I think being alone during that was like pretty scary. And like sad. And the whole night after that was just kind of a nightmare,

not gonna lie. And I was alone for a lot of it. And not like, you're falling to blame you. It's a whole to go be with CJ, but I was ended up being in the recovery room for like... Well, the nurse, I came back to see you because I was going like back and forth well the nurse. I came back to see you because I was going like back before the room. And she's like, yeah, recovery is even out of the surgery room.

Like recovery is usually an hour to two hours or something. Okay, cool. And then I think I came back one more time. And the nurse was like, let me just get your number and then I'll text you when she's going to the, whatever's after post, post, room, whatever it's called. I'm like, okay, I tried to stay up because this was like, it was like four in the morning. It was almost four in the morning at this point. Well, at that point, I think it was like two.

And so I like tried to stay up as long as possible, because I was like, OK, within the next hour, she'll be out. And I was just exhausted. So I fell asleep in the NICU room with CJ. And I think I woke up. Because I was so exhausted, but I couldn't sleep at the same time. So then I texted the nurse like any update and I think she was like, no, I don't remember. I honestly don't remember. Yeah, it's all bluer. I mean, I was in not a sleep too. Like, I think

you came in and I was asleep at one point. But yeah, that whole recovery after, it was just pretty sad. Did we say it took instead of like one to two hours? It was four hours? Yeah, I was just, I mean, the bleeding had, well, they didn't know that the bleeding had stopped, but I just kept losing blood. Because then they come and press on your stomach instead. Yeah.

I don't want to be graphic. But yeah, it was just a lot. And they wanted to make sure that they had like closed the hemorrh, like made sure the hemorrhaging was closed up correctly. And I actually had to stop bleeding. But at one point they came in and they wanted to make sure that they had closed the hemorrhage, like made sure the hemorrhage was closed up correctly and I actually had to stop bleeding. But at one point they came in and they were like, Hey, if you keep losing blood, like, here are your options. And they just weren't good options. Like, I don't know what they were. One was surgery. And I'm pretty sure it would have been to go in. And I don't know. Like, I was like,

what I lose my fertility with these options. She's like, it's a possibility. was like what I lose my fertility with these options. And she's like, it's a possibility. So it was just like a lot to go through that night, you know. Thank you for opening up about that. Yeah. I'm like, Emerging, what is that? I'm like, what does that word mean? Yeah, what does that word mean?

I don't know. I just know what it means bleeding. Like Emerging means blood. It's like not clotting. Yeah, yeah. And that was like your abdomen, your uterus, like all the above. So when they took out my placenta, typically when you removed the placenta, your uterus contracts to cut off the blood vessels that were originally going into that organ.

Mine was so exhausted just from the whole labor process and pushing for so long, they'd going into surgery. Instead of my uterus contracting, it just went limp. And so it didn't cut off the blood vessels and it just kept bleeding. So I ended up losing over half of my leukemia, globulins. And they thought they kept this in the hospital so long because I thought I was going to need a blood transfusion.

But thankfully, I was healthy going in and I had a very high level of blood before that I didn't end up needing a transfusion. Did you see how much was lost? I lost over 2,500 units, which I think with a normal C-section, you lose about 1,000 units and I lost over 2,500 units. Wow. Wow. Like, could you see, I guess they just had to keep coming up and like wiping the blood away

It was like all it was mainly internally, I guess yeah, so it was internal so they'd press on my stomach and yeah so It just kept every time they'd press on my stomach more would come out and so they weren't sure if I was continuously bleeding or if it was old blood They weigh those yeah like Pads that were on to know how much blood you lost I was like during the whole thing I felt very at peace and maybe it's because I was so tired I definitely felt like God's peace over me and all the prayers leading up to that point like I felt very

Just I was like it's okay like whatever happens is okay like this is part of God's plan for me This was his plan for our birth. It's okay But it was just, yeah. Now looking back, I'm like, whoa, that was really scary. Isn't that interesting? I feel like the things like with birth, the beginning is such a cloud,

but isn't until later where obviously, we had totally different birth experiences, but I'm thinking about what's Griffin where I was like, yeah, I think I need to work through that. That was kind of scary. I feel scared about the thought where I was like, yeah, I think I need to work through it. That was kind of scary. I feel scared about the thought of doing that again. And it wasn't until later, because right afterwards I was like,

woo, I don't know, I was in fantasy land. But yeah, it's so weird how that kind of comes later, but I think that's a very normal thing that I just didn't expect to happen. And you were all by yourself through all of this or Caleb did come in and check or you had fallen asleep or what exactly? I came back, I think I came back like twice. Okay. But then when the nurse was like, I'll just take your

number. If you're okay with it, I'll take your number and I'll text you updates. But then it was like two, three in the morning. Okay. Because I did know how long it was going to take. And kale was coming in and I was like, I want you to be with CJ. It wasn't like, like I was like I want you to go be with him I was there when they and it's crazy how they put IVs into babies like they literally use like a like a LED light and you can see all the blood vessels and bones through their hand So that's how they can find but because they're just so small and then they hooked them up to He was on like a CPAP machine

So that kept his airways open both for oxygen to get in and for Carbon that carbon dioxide What do we breathe out? Yeah, yeah, you breathe out carbon dioxide to get out and so he was on that and then so the IV He was like low blood sugar CPAP and then they put a tube into like through his nose Goes into the stomach so that helps the stomach for not from not getting like upset So it was just like a lot of like things hooked up to him and then there's a thing on his foot That's trekking his heart rate. So even

Which I couldn't pick him up for a day, but even when we could, it was just like all these wires and tubes and just really clunky and just not easy. Hey real quick, if you could please share this podcast with someone that you love, that would be awesome. We really appreciate you guys sharing the podcast and- Tell them to share it with another mother. Share it with another mother. Your mom, friend. Share it with the-

No, I'm not pregnant. Or pregnant. Or pregnant, friend. Let us know if you guys, if there's any topics that are not, not- Or don't share it because it might scare them. Relationships, slash, marriage, slash, pregnancy, content. Like let us know if there's something you want us to talk about

on here that's like not like that, because I feel like every episode is like birth relationships marriage So um, but I don't know I feel like we kind of have that in common with a lot of our guests But let us know what you guys want to see we love to hear your input and stuff. Anyway, who should Metna be have on their podcast next. That's also good Let us know comment that down below. I'd love to have Dave Ramsey on why do I think that be so much? What he was actually an inspiration for us with our finances because I like read all his books when I was 19 and want to learn how money works Maybe that financially afford marriage and then we did you should have Dr. Phil and his Dr. Phil and his wife would be epic

I'd be so sick. I still think you should have Zach Hertz and Julie dude Dude, I'd love to have Zach and Julie Ertson. Everyone's hangin'. They're in Phoenix. They live in Arizona because Zach plays for the Cardinals and then Julie is a professional soccer player. She was on the USA team. That's insane. She retired after this last World Cup. I have a part-time job with the NFL Sush Cardinals.

This is pretty cool. When he comes out of the tunnel, I wasn't saying that was pretty cool. When he comes out of the tunnel, I wasn't saying that was pretty cool. When he comes out of the tunnel, he'll go straight to the stands. First thing, Julie walks down with their son, Madden. He's on all of his football pads and stuff like that and he holds them and then I don't know if he kisses them and then she gives them back, she goes up to their stance But it's just cool to see him like interact with his son right before the game. That's really sweet. Yeah back to the episode Did you get to do skin this game?

No really. No, so I think that's kind of the next part that was hard was okay They stopped the bleeding everything's good. We're I'm being moved out of the recovery room they said, do you want us to wheel you past C.J.? And go see your baby. And this was for the morning. This is the first time I had gotten to see him since he was born. And they wheeled the bed to the NICU, killbos in there. Or you came back and got our stuff. So we were going together.

And I go in there and it's like this big bed. And he's turned the other way. Like a Canadian see his face. Aww which was really sad. That was probably the hardest part. I can't even imagine. Him not looking your way? I like didn't even know what he looked like for like a long time. Then yeah I wasn't until like 3 p.m. the next day that we got to see him because I couldn't get out of bed Yeah, I wasn't until like 3 p.m. the next day. But we got to see him because I couldn't get out of bed. And they tried to get me out of bed like,

they will be back up for him. I finally get to sleep after like two days and the two hours later the nurses come in. I love the nurses, but I was literally like, you guys are a joke. I don't know what crack you're on because I'm not getting that one due to get up. And you're like, yeah, you need to stand.

I was like, I literally just lost half my body weight in blood and I haven't slept in days. And I sat up and I almost passed out. So they just let me lay back down. I was like, get out of here. As an hour later, the lady comes in to do the birth certificate. And she goes, did you fill up the 96 questions? And I go, do I look like I filled out the 99 questions? They kept coming in. They were kind of like a little bit annoyed that we hadn't filled that stuff out and I was like What do you mean it's 8 a.m. Been here for it. They gave me a bath in two a.m. But they came in and I like bathed out.

My favorite my favorite is Abby's trying to walk for the first time in the hospital and my people are like Hey, can I take it self? Oh my pictures I try to walk for the first time in the hospital and my people are like, hey, can I take it self with you? Oh, I like pictures. Really? Oh, my first walk. I can't imagine. It's just like, doesn't look like it's a good time. I see you dead girl walking.

Read the room. Barely walking. Dead girl wandering. With her smiling hat on. Did not. That reminds me, there was, I don't know if this person recognized me from stuff I've been in with you guys, but right after I told you guys It was a boy and went back when you were still in the recovery room, I guess there was a nurse who was like You're

She said but she recognized me and you guys are good at it like you know what's it like I didn't know what to say Well, I don't what did I say do you know oh nice? Okay But there is so many other things on my mind you cannot blame yourself and it's like literally nice I'm weird every time dude. I still can't help it I'm just like I know you're not you guys are good I'm still so awkward though so I know when we were there waiting in the waiting room people were trying to admit me I was so big they were like they haven't got you in yet

I forgot about that I'm here for wait does that not break some One them to bring me and I don't think so Group birthdays if they're which they're probably doing this if they're like Like that's probably breaking him for laws But if they're saying you like hey That I don't think that's they're saying you like, hey, hey, hey, hey, you guys, that, I don't think that's, okay.

They're recognizing you? Yes, sure. But if they're going around and be like, hey, you know who's next door. That's funny. Any way, not about us. No, no, I'll just ask you, like if, like when someone recognized Caleb in the hospital,

I'm like, is that Violet HIPAA? I don't know. I really should probably read up on HIPAA. I don't, that's like a, that seems like a lot. Maybe not. Are we violating HIPAA? Right now, you're on HIPPA? I don't know. I really should probably read up on HIPPA. I don't that's like it. That seems like a lot. Maybe not. Are we violating? HIPPA. Right now. You're on HIPPA? I don't think you can violate your own HIPPA. You can surely share your own medical school.

Oh, that's a good point. Obviously that's a conversation that he's had. Cut it all. That's a really good point. It's like you have your story to share, right? Yeah. But then it's like at what point is it no longer your story to share? Mm-hmm.

I don't think we'll share anything medically going forward. Yeah, that does kind of freaking me out. But then also as the parents you're the one who makes the decision. Yeah, have you shared about your IBS? What does that even mean? You're in a spouse. Oh that's right, that's what that is. Like me farting a lot.

You're a backlash? My back, I don't have, you bro. You have back me. I don't have back What is this conversation hypohydrosis? You have a share about that I think we all we all probably have IBS because we're all like farting so much No, my god. Oh, it is Can't get to grind to the toilet. No, I'm just kidding. It's like, it's a problem in our family, dude. Like no one can stop farting.

We just kind of let it rip. Even for the Howard's marionette. I know. You guys do. They transferred over. I think it did transfer over. That was only not pregnant. I think you can give me so a tree for that.

I thought I was funny. I gave up on the date lunch. So the couple that haven't farted in front of each other, just do it. I think you can give me so much grief for that. I thought I was funny. I gave up on the eight months. So the couples that haven't farted in front of each other, just do it. Yeah, do it. Just do it. When couples are like, we don't fart. You spend too much time together.

I'm like, you've been married. You've been married for seven years. And we haven't farted in front of each other. We have friends like that. It's weird. It's weird. Are you fully known if you haven't farted? If you're dating, I'm like, okay, you're dating.

And to me see, including, you know, if someone's been, they've been married for a couple of years and they haven't farted or pooped it for any of each other. I'm like, you guys need to take a step forward in your relationship. Yeah. Take your next level. That's the fifth one.

That's the fifth one. Fifth. Fifth. That's the fifth. Yeah, that's the fifth that's the fifth one Make a sex joke on a podcast It's a hard joke, but like the bass is like a home run We all know the home run is and you said that the grand slam Full transparency I do not know the base. And I was thinking about that training show. I was like, yeah, I don't know second base. I feel like everyone has their own definition of bases.

Just think about it. Oh, maybe nobody knows the bases. But I think everyone knows what a home run is. First base is kissing. And then the second and third are just the things in between. You don't know the bases. I do know the bases. You want me to literally sell that? You're just the things in between. You don't know the basis. I do know the basis.

You want me to literally sell that? You just said the things in between. You don't know what the things in between. I'm not really sure. I feel like you went to public school. You should know these things. Yeah, you should. Hey, you're a public school kid.

You would be shocked at how sheltered you can be in a public school. Wow. I went from Catholic school to a public school. And it was a whole world that I had never experienced before. Oh, yeah. Literally first week. I was like, what is that? Okay, I was the most crazy of my friends,

and that says something. Well, that's good though. They're all so tame. That's what we hope for kids. I know, I'm kidding. I feel like Catholic school is worse than public school. I feel like this one is crazy stuff. High school for sure, yeah.

Catholic high schools? Yeah. I feel like it depends on what crowd you run in. That's, you know what Catholic, you mean private? Yeah, private school. Oh yeah. But like the ones where it's like all girls and all boys, I feel like you just makes all the kids.

That's such a weird concept for me. But that's all girls high school. That's crazy. The people that you know. I don't know, oh really? Like a recent divide. I think some of them are like devout, like super nerdy and...

No, I don't think it's like a faith thing. I think it's just like a, well I think, it's like Lewis specifically. It's a lot of very wealthy kids. I go to private school. And so I think you just kind of they can buy the drugs. Yeah, I think St. Louis is the highest. I don't know if it's private or just Catholic school per capita in the whole country. There's more private Catholic schools or just a... Is St. Louis? Yeah, in the country. More than like Boston or like...

Weird. Some of those East Coast cities that have high... Mm-hmm. Yeah, per capita because we have lower... I believe that though, because when you go to St. Louis, it's like west... So when you have that many, you're definitely gonna have... It's not just gonna be like... It's a big bag. Okay, that makes sense.

Mm-hmm. Wow. We've strayed so far, but. Where are we talking? We saw something like birth? I don't know if you wanna talk about, that was obviously a really hard time being away from your new baby, but at that time you're also recovering

and probably sleeping a lot and just trying to get healthy enough. So yeah, how do you view that experience? I look back on it not, I look back on it with sadness, but I'm not angry about it or bitter, because I do in the green scheme of CJ's life. I mean, look at him. Look at him. Look at him.

Perfect. He's a really cute baby. Like actually, maybe it's actually aren't cute. I'll be say like objectively. No seriously, he's a really cute baby. Oh, perfect. Our baby finally got- Anything valedictorian. I'll be honest. objectively no seriously. He's a really cute baby and perfect our baby finally got a valedictorian I'll be honest. I'm so smart. I don't think newborns look very cute even my own kids like at first like It's just it's kind of rough. It's some beginning. He's always looks so cute

I think so too, but then I'm like is that just me? Is that just because like everyone says that about baby? It's actually not like objective Beautiful. Wow. Thank you guys. We appreciate that from the day No, baby. It's actually not like object to leave everything to you. Wow, thank you guys. We appreciate that. From the day he was born. Wow, that's sweet. I remember when you guys had Griffin, I was like, he's the most beautiful baby I've ever seen.

I felt like a mom. I was like, he is literally beautiful. I love to. He loves to touch a donut. We look back at him now. I'm getting scared. And we're like, we're like, oh, I want to show him the pictures when he's older.

He's going to be like, he's going to be freaked out. He's like, that was me. I was a crazy, it's hilarious. You looked, I had a crazy baby picture. I looked back and I'm like, wow, I was a ugly baby. No, it's kind of like the awkward phase that people go through in middle school. That's what you go through when you're a newborn.

Yeah. Most kids, except for CJ. He's like the exception. I thought, have you guys put CJ or August or Griffin in a pumpkin or attempted to? We attempted to put Griffin in a pumpkin larger. We made him sad. Yeah, sad, yeah. Similar reaction to the sequence.

But yeah, you guys pulled him out really quick. We put him back in. We were like, you got it. You put him back in. We tried to get it. We tried twice. We put paper towels in there. We lined it.

We still didn't like it. We got one picture. But you know, I wasn't like Pinterest. Yeah, we lined it. And he still didn't like it. We got one picture, but I wasn't like Pinterest. No, never. Never. Never's like Pinterest. Yeah. Backshacking a bit, I can't imagine like after

laboring for like literally days and then having a C section and then hemorrhaging and then this like a nurse telling you, hey, by the way, you might like lose your fertility. That like, whoa, hold hold up that was so fast Sorry, I kind of like jumped back into that really quickly But yeah, like when did they tell you just kidding Well, so that when I was in recovery they did a She came up to me and she said hey these are your options if you're not bleeding if it hasn't stopped

You have two options. One was like an ablation or something of the uterus to like kind of burn the lighting, I think, to help stop the bleeding. The second would have been surgery. And she goes, at all costs, you want to avoid surgery. She didn't tell me what it was, but she was just like, it'd be serious.

Is that like removing your uterus basically? So there you go, don't die. I don't want to say that's like for sure what it is because I didn't say, so I don't want to spare like misinformation, but it could have been like a hysterectomy or something with the uterus that I probably would have affected having babies again. And I asked her, I was like with the ablation,

like would that affect my fertility? She said the goal is for it to not, but it's a possibility. And we've always talked about having like four. Multiple kids, yeah. So that was really hard, but then they did an ultrasound on my stomach and she was like, I can tell that it looks good. So then she was like, let's see what's going on up there.

Okay. And it was just old blood from the surgery that hadn't come out. So they were able to like flush out my system and then I had stopped leading. It's crazy what they can do. I know. To know that that blood had been,

was old blood. Yeah, old blood. I know. I loved my doctor and my nurses. They made me, like we were, I mean, I looked back on this with like a lot of sadness and I would say parts of it were traumatic and I used, I don't use that word a lot, the parts that were very like holy crap.

But I, honestly there are times when I was like laughing with my doctors and my nurses through it. Like they were such an amazing team and they made me feel really comfortable. And they were serious and conveyed the seriousness of the situation well without making me panic. So it was incredible. It was good. Yeah, even like when he was going to take him to the NICU, they properly described the severity of it, I would say. Did it jump?

I mean, he was only in the NICU for two to three days. Yeah, so I mean, there's babies that have many more issues. I mean, we look back on this and it was scary, but we're fine. We're healthy. CJ's healthy. So Mike, okay, tell you though, hey, you had a C section for your first. So that means you can only have X amount of babies going forward. No okay so when I was talking to my sister my sister's a physician's assistant. Okay and so we were just processing she was helping me get through all the medical

jargon and all that after and she we were talking and I asked her that and she was like there might be a limit just because of the complications with my uterus she's like you'll just have to talk to your doctor but they might not want you to have more than three, because you could be at risk for a uterine rupture later on, because you have complications here. But when I went from my post-op checkup, they're like, no, you were totally okay, like looking at your notes and what the doctor said,

you'll be fine. And I would be a candidate for V back if I wanted. So that made me feel comfortable, where it's like, I still have options in the future, which where I thought I didn't. Do you want to do a V back? I think I would try to do you want more babies Oh so many more babies I remember laying there and they're like pressing in my stomach

I can feel the blood coming out and I was like I would literally do this all over again for another baby Well, I get so crazy and it's amazing just you know It's like we go through hell and back for these babies and it's so worth it. Yeah. Do you want more babies killed? Yes, have you got that so quietly? I don't know. Yes. Can you imagine getting pregnant next month? That's what we think about that only an idiot would do that Use protection Use would do that. Use protection. Use protection. You can't take it because I can't take it.

Oh, thank you. No, I was like, can I get an idea? They're like, you're not ready. You need to come back. I don't know if you guys can do this, but if you double up on condoms, it's actually worse because then they want the old. Triple up. Triple up. Did you go go that? I learned that in health class in high school, okay?

That's just nice. Don't put two on each side. Yeah, don't put two on. And they'll both rip. And that loose. Still badly. Are you guys on brisk control? Can I ask that?

Yeah, I was going to do the nuboring because I really liked that before. Okay. But it has the hormone in it that stops breastfeeding. So I'm just on the pill. I was like, oh yeah, go ahead. I do'm just on the pill. Pill, I like it. Oh yeah, go ahead. I do like being on the pill. I don't like it, but I'm gonna be on it, yeah.

You can see your nap. Yeah, I don't like it either. You don't like it either? Well, what, I wasn't taking it. I can't get the timing right. What? Well, it just makes my energy lower. I like her.

My energy's lower. The libido's lower. Oh, that's why you don't like it. Oh, that's it. I'm more shy with this. the libido slower oh libido is the the calmest word to use in that yeah, I'm telling my parents to not watch this episode but I'm excited to fix from the pill Oh really yeah, I don't have bad side of it. I feel like my I my only side effects from the pill. Oh really? Yeah, I don't have that side effect. I feel like my mom hated the pill. I actually told us that.

Did there's something? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe we shouldn't talk about this. I don't know. Yeah. HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP-A-VIO-HIP- and sleeping and everything at the newborn stage. How did that all go? Breastfeeding, school and gay?

Yeah, it was good. So I think it's funny because we talk about this. Like, we love the nipple shields with all of our lives and all of our hearts. And in the nurse, I have a whole collection. Yeah. Like, what you're doing to use today? It, that helped so much because at first,

you was having a hard time latching. And then once we used that, it was like pretty easy. More to was having a hard time latching and then once we used that it was like pretty easy Why didn't you get a hard time latching? You He's trying to express it Exhomically I need it. Keep going What's the stigma around nipple shields? I don't know. It was a girl message me the other day and she was like my like Tishin could so told me my supplies gonna be affected

I have to pump a lot. They told me that I would have to pump 15 minutes after every feed if I use the nipple shield Which I'm not a medical person, but we would have had a real big problem if I pump that much every time after I'm Problem Like deep freeze problems like comedy gallons were You're a little grouchy just the deep friezes. I don't understand I can't wrap my mind around how a little piece of silicone would affect your supply. If that milk is still coming out, I don't know. I mean, I think they say that, I don't know, they be so live like kids. We're not doctors, we're not doctors, we're medical professionals. We can speak from our own experience, so we're

experiencing. It didn't affect anything. Yeah, it just helped a lot with latching. So I feel like the verse feeding, the physicalness of it was fine. The commitment is crazy. It's no one tells you about, I mean, I saw you do it, but I still didn't even, then physically doing it yourself. It's like, oh, okay, it's already been an hour and a half and I got a feed-in.

We had friends back in Kansas City, and when we were living there, and they had their first baby, she tracked how many hours a week she was feeding, and it was like close to 40. It was like close to a full-time job It's a lot of time and also I feel like you guys cannot ride your head around the mental commitment of like Constantly thinking okay, where am I gonna be will I be able to feed there? We're gonna be in the car. Oh, I can't do that because that's gonna take an hour

We have a we just got a package that's gonna be an hour, but he's gonna need you in 45 minutes at least. And then what if he needs to eat early? Sometimes he gets hungry early or things like that, like totally. And you're like, he didn't eat very good the last time because he kept falling asleep. So then I'm gonna need to feed soon in three hours.

Oh, huh. It's crazy. It is crazy. The amount of money that you save on formula, so worth it. Oh, god. It's just so expensive. So I'm really happy that we're able to make it work and to touch on sleeping quick

He sleeps really good. So we haven't had issues Yeah, he slept nine hours last night Was that scary trying to feed him right away after the birth because I know didn't you like sleep like nine hours after after You know that whole scare and then he went to the Niki, like didn't you? Or he was on bottles for like, oh he was, he even breasted you. And all that your milk come in, like where you go. I pumped a little bit in the hospital.

Yeah, but he did formula. So the first like, for a while after, after like he came home, I would breastfeed and then supplement the formula. Cause I think he just needed like extra when he had John Disney. But yeah, so once I got going in a rhythm, it came in just fine.

It didn't affect anything. Not the back track again, but like the day, that morning we were supposed to leave the hospital. They're like, oh, he's looking a little John Disney, so we're gonna run a test and see if we need to put him under this light. And I'm like, okay, like how long would he be under the light? Like a couple hours, she's like, a couple days.

And I was like, that's when I got, like, ticked off. I was like, we're bringing this baby home today. Oh, because you were gonna have to leave with us. Yes, we would have to leave without him and he'd be there like three more days under some light. But then it came back and they're like, okay, his numbers are good. Just try to keep them in front of windows.

Wow. We imagine being a parent like with your kid just in the hospital for days. I had a friend who they had a preemie baby and I mean months early and it was months. Oh my gosh. Like four months or three months the baby was in the neck you. Even though I don't want everyone to scare anybody with this

stuff because it was crazy and it wasn't tense, but it has been the greatest joy of my life. And even when I look back on that, I'm like, holy crap, that was a lot and terrible, but I'm also, I'm so proud of us, and we're very strong, and women are so much stronger than, men. That we are, so much more than men.

Just stupid men, no kidding, I'm not that girl, I love men. much for them, man. Stupid man. No kidding. I'm not that girl. I love men. You love men. I love men. I love men. Singular.

I love men. I love this man. And yeah, being a mom is the best thing in the entire world, and I'll do it ten more times. You're having tension? No. No, cut it. Actually, how many, do you guys know how many

do you want? I think three or four would be amazing. Yeah, we've talked about a couple. Yeah. In addition to the one or like total. Total. Gotcha. Mm-hmm. We had a good, would you rather, well, you have two now. But it was, would you rather just have one kid or were you right now or have 10 more kids. My heart says 10, but my head knows that I couldn't love 10. Be honest, are you serious though? Like you're actually, you're not joking. I said my heart says 10, but my head knows I couldn't. I couldn't be the mom that I'd want to be to each kid if I had to.

I just view it as like every, obviously, I want to, I love that we have, I'm going to need a stop time. But like, obviously, the more kids you have, We talk about it everyday. It's less time you get with each other. We need to get pregnant right now, because that's what we did last time. So I'm like, we don't need to talk about this for like while. No.

But like, if anybody could agree that if you have 10 children, you're not gonna have as much quality time with those 10 kids individually as you would if you had one kid. So it's like, I think about every new kid is that. And it's like, I want to every new kid is that. It's like, I want to have really good memories with my children. And so if you have a ton of kids, you just can't have that same close relationship with all of them. But two is so cute together. I love two. I really, really like two. What do you think?

In two to three years when you're feeling out for it, we'll wait to have our nice kid and we can have them together again. Yay! What do you guys think? Matt and pregnant Abby's, we're, I'm so, I'm missing. I'm missing. I'm pregnant. I'm the fat.

We were eating so good. I was gonna say, was it fat Amy? The fat Amy took to us. Yeah. Wait, is that what her name is? What? I think that is her TikTok name. Okay.

From, oh from the thousand pound of sisters. I'm just gonna tell ya. That TikTok we made was kinda funny. That's so funny. I can't make that thing. That was cute. You guys were cute pregnant ladies. Yes, we're just eating good. We're gonna keep making packs. How long do you think that ideally do you want the gap to be between? If you choose Southmark, we can't Matt saying no more babies right now.

Let's just talk about it. You just need a break. You just need an app. We've been in the thick of it for so can we just take a break and like think about this later? We'll table it. We can say that we're not gonna talk about it. You guys are like young enough that you can literally wait 10 years. I know. I told you.

We could literally have a kid in 15 years. I personally don't think I'm down for that but. My aunt had a kid at 40. No. Our grandma had our uncle at 40. I'm not, I'm saying everyone anyone I'm talking about my personal. It seems crazy to start over at that point in my head. I think it'd be so fun to be like it's hard enough 13 months later. 20 years from now I can be 45 and be an empty nester. We're

just like partying it up. That'd be so fun. Yeah we just trying to party. I like this girl a lot. I like spending time with her a lot. He thinks that I won't love him as much. We'll give it a couple years. We won't talk about it anymore and then we'll come back. Well, you guys, this has been so much fun chatting it up. We have an appointment to go. Good, good, good. But, do you think this will be the least watched podcast? No. Why would you say that? No, definitely not. This has been such a fun conversation. Don't subscribe to Killman Abbey's YouTube channel. We just did Trader Joe's Fall. Bangers and Rolamers. Rolamers.

I can't wait to watch that video. I love Trader Joe's Fall. And we'll have you guys on during Christmas time and we'll do all their- Wait, should we make another U-Wall vlog video? We can do that. We need to go back, go back on our YouTube channel from like three years ago, we made U-Logs for Christmas time with Caleb and Aaron.

You better make your log by seven. No, they were to stay tasted so good. I love this. It was like two in the morning. Three, two, one. Peace out, dude.