The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby - Getting Caught Naked, Love Languages & Why We’re Not Getting a Dog

Episode Date: November 6, 2024

Matt and Abby share their thoughts on plastic surgery, explore their different love languages, and explain why getting a dog isn’t part of their plans. They also reflect on why this year has been Matt’s hardest yet and recount a past, intense encounter with a coworker. This episode is sponsored by Bombas, Zocdoc & Hiya. Bombas: Feel good and do good. Head over to https://bombas.com/unplanned and use code unplanned for 20% off your first purchase. Zocdoc: Go to https://Zocdoc.com/UNPLANNED and download the Zocdoc app for FREE! Hiya: Go to https://hiyahealth.com/UNPLANNED and receive 50% off your first order. Get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I accidentally, I told my grandma not to scroll. I showed her one picture. They always scroll. We've been talking in our marriage a lot about love languages. We communicate completely differently. Yeah. When Abby keeps showing me she loves me through ex-service, my brain is like having this question of like, oh my gosh, does she love me?

I actually have a question that the people that go way back a little bit might want justice for. You said that we were going to get a dog at the end of 2021. Yeah and then we found out we were pregnant like the next day. What's up dudes? What's up dudes? Today I am your host, which is crazy. I don't like this responsibility. I already feel like oh my gosh there's so much pressure to lead the conversation. I'm more of like a listen and respond person than a leading person. I think you're great at both. I also think your outfit's very cute. Thank you. I like that new top.

I have sticky boobs on today. That is awesome. You literally saw me in this bra the other day. You're like, I've never seen that bra before. I'm like, well, because it's not really one that you just like wear for fun. They sweat off so bad. Whoever invented sticky boobs must have been very smart because like that is quite the technology. It's not like it's a one use thing that you can use it over and over again, right?

Yeah. That's insane. That's my first question. What are your thoughts on sticky boobs? What like when you first saw a sticky boob? Wow. Was it when we were married? How did you feel about it?

I feel like I first learned what it was while we were dating. I feel like you like enlightened me into a little bit more of your world. I'm impressed by all the stuff women do as far as like beauty and everything because there's a lot that goes into it. Like for me to get ready in the morning I'll like take a five minute shower, quickly brush my teeth. Like you give me 10 minutes I can be ready for the day. I could too. That's true. There's just several several levels of getting ready for women. Yeah. Usually compared to men. Like you just I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. of look like chicken breasts. I feel like men get softened up whenever they're in a relationship because it's like you're no longer trying to appease the homies and try to be like all tough guy like you're you get this like soft spot and then when you become a dad it makes you even softer you know. Yeah do you think you'd

be even softer if you were a dad to a girl? Oh yeah I would have a melted heart. You do have a melted heart though I am I've been amazed. And there's another level. When a man becomes a grandpa, they get even more soft. That happened with your grandpa. He got like, his heart was so sweet. It's happening to my dad. It's really sweet.

And when I say soft, I mean that in like, that has a bad connotation. I don't mean it that way. It just means that they're more like, they appreciate the tender things in life more. But just like take the toughest, most like rough and tough man you can think of and put a baby in front of him

and it completely transforms that guy. Yeah, unless they have a mental problem. Unless they have mental problems, which some people have that, you know? So we gotta think about those people too. Unless the baby's screaming their head off and they're like, okay, actually nevermind. Now we know the serious stuff

when you learned about sticky boobs. Yeah, yeah. I wish you had like a serious story. Like you thought it was a eye patch and you put it on your eyes. You're bringing back memories. I was so proud of myself the first time I bought you feminine products from the store.

What was that? That was when we were working at a restaurant in Springfield, Missouri, where we went to college. That's right. And you, it was that time of the month, and you were panicking because you didn't have a tampon or something. And so I went and bought it at the store, and I felt like, I was like, wow, I just reached a whole new level of manhood.

This is when we worked at the pizza place? This was when we worked at the fancy steakhouse together. Oh, see, I don't even remember this. And you were a cocktail waitress, and I was a busser. And you were a cocktail waitress and I was a busser. And you got off before me and I was like, can you go grab that? I don't think I was working that day. You were scheduled that day and I went and I got tampons. What was that experience like?

Were you like, what size? I didn't want to look weird or something buying women's products, but then I'm like, I guess husbands do this for their wives all the time. Well, they're not going to think it's for you. I definitely was proud of myself, I guess. Like I felt like I was taking care of you. Yeah, it's sweet. That is sweet.

I was like embarrassed to buy that stuff at the store, like, because it was like, oh, this is for me. I don't know why there's so much like taboo stuff around that, especially like when you're just like in high school, you're just like embarrassed about everything. Yeah, I don't know. I think I reached, you know, the tampons was one thing, but then once we were married and I bought condoms, I feel like that was where I was like, they're no, they know I'm having sex. Oh, I don't like buying those either.

But now you have Amazon and so you can buy, that's true. You can buy the uncomfortable things on Amazon. Wait, do you have to be 18 to buy those? Condoms? Yeah. No, no, no, no. But like even from the store, because why are they normally, I guess they're probably locked up a lot because people take them. People steal them. You don't need like an ID to buy them. Yeah. That would be pretty bad actually. Well think about it,

like think about some like young high school kid who's trying to get some action and they don't have very much money or they don't want to be seen buying that item. That's why they steal it. So I think that's why they lock up those products. Well it's probably not for the price cause they're really not that expensive

compared to other things. I'm just sure it's a high theft item because of that very reason. Yeah, because people, they're really not that expensive compared to other things. I'm just sure it's a high theft item because of the very reason. They're embarrassed to buy it. Yeah. Oh, I mean we need to remove the stigma from protection and from period products. Yeah.

When you proposed to me, you were currently an employee of McDonald's. Yeah. A lot of people probably know that about you. Yeah. So tell me about that. Totally. It wasn't really planned out that way. Like when I thought of the job I'd be working when I asked my wife to marry me,

I wasn't thinking like, you know what? I'm gonna be working at McDonald's when I do that. But that's how it happened. So I was at this leadership program for the summer in Orlando. And something that you do while you're in this program is you get a job while you're there for the summer. All these other guys in college

who'd gone to the same program before me were like hyping up like, dude, some of these places in Florida, like you can be a server and make make bag like off of the tips because people go to Florida for vacation and there's some wealthy people that go there to these restaurants. So I was so excited because all these guys had hyped up working at like a fancy restaurant. Well, the problem is the program was only for like seven weeks.

And I go to all these fancy restaurants and I'm like, hey, I'm a server at a pizza restaurant in Missouri. fancy restaurant. Well, the problem is the program was only for like seven weeks. And I go to all these fancy restaurants and I'm like, hey, I'm a server at a pizza restaurant in Missouri. I'm here for the summer. And I was very transparent about only being there for seven weeks. And immediately all these fancy restaurants were like, we're not gonna hire this guy just to be here

for seven weeks. It's not worth it. I kind of get it. And I totally understand it now, but looking back, I, for whatever reason, thought they would hire me and they did it. And so I applied at like 20 different fancy restaurants

and not a single one took me, which sucked because I was like so excited to make all this money for us because I wanted to like have a good start for our marriage and like for finances not to be an issue. But I ended up at McDonald's because that was the only place that would hire me while I was in Orlando. What were you making at the time? McDonald's was $9.50 an hour, $0.40 an hour.

And this was back. I feel like it's gone up a lot even since then. Yeah, I think minimum wage in Florida has gone up, but it was, yeah, $9.00 since we changed for hours. I think it's like $15 now, most places. I mean, it's different state to state, but. Yeah, and that was back in 2018. So I know there's been inflation since then, but yeah, I worked 40 hours a week.

That's something you tell our kids. When I proposed to your mom, I was making $9.50 an hour. You're going to say that. It was very eye opening though, because you don't get paid that much and you work very hard. I was working very hard and I take pride in whatever I do. So my goal was to be the best McDonald's employee I could be while I was working very hard and I take pride in whatever I do. So my goal was to be the best McDonald's employee I could be while I was there.

Well, you have to say it wasn't just your standard McDonald's. It was- That's true. Was it like the largest McDonald's in the US? I think it's the largest, yeah, I think it is the largest one in the- It's like two stories, right? I forget, there might be a third story. Three stories potentially.

There's an arcade. There's an arcade, they have Belgian waffles. Pizza, they have a- Hand dipped ice cream, pizza oven. And it's cause it's in Orlando right by Disney World. So people are like, let's go to the biggest McDonald's in the world. It's by Disney.

And it's huge. Yeah, it's like this massive building and there's even table service. So I actually was a server at the McDonald's and I would bring people their food. I don't know if you ever knew that. People could order at their table though? Yes, when you order, so you actually order up front and then you take...

Oh, so that's not like table service though. Yeah, it's more of like a Macalester's or whatever where you take a number and then they bring the food or the Panera does that I think sometimes. No, you have to go pick up your order at Panera. Oh, you're right. Okay, but anyway, I would deliver the food to people. And then I also worked the grill for a little bit. I was grilling burgers for a little bit. I was making the coffee orders. And I even- Yeah, they had like a whole cafe, right? Yeah, they had a cafe.

They had an ice cream area of the McDonald's too. So it was like- Was their ice cream machine broken frequently? Actually at this one, no. Like this was, I think because it's such a top tier McDonald's, they couldn't have the ice cream machine broken at this one. Really? So they were on top of it's they couldn't have the ice cream machine broken at this one really so they were on top

Of it see I heard the whole conspiracy behind that is that they just don't want to clean it like this system turns off if it's not Like clean enough or whatever So maybe that's why and people just don't want to do it or they don't want I don't know I've heard a lot of conspiracies about that I will say working at McDonald's gave me so much respect for fast food employees because these people work hard and they're not getting paid the most but for them it's their job. It's how they pay their bills, it's how they take care of their families and a lot of these people that I was working with were, especially since it was in Florida and it's close to

South America, a lot of people had originally grown up in South America and immigrated to America. And so I was like very inspired by their work ethic. There's this sweet Latino woman who would, she like had a thick accent and didn't speak English the best, but she would sing every time she was mopping the floors. And she was just so happy.

And I loved like seeing, yeah, seeing like just that attitude about like, hey, I'm thankful to like be here and thankful for this job. And she's singing at the top of her lungs. That's not a job that people covet typically. Yeah, exactly. She's making joy where she's at. I like that.

I'll be honest, McDonald's wasn't my first choice. I was hoping to work at some fancy steakhouse and make really good money. Because some people can do that at these really nice restaurants. You know what you could have done? But that didn't happen for me. Now, nowadays you probably could have been like a Instacart shopper or a door Dasher or Uber

or something like that. I don't know if I don't, you might need to be 21 to drive those, I think. Cause I was only, I was 20. Oh yeah, cause you can buy alcohol. No way. I was 19. I was 19 and then I turned 20. Oh yeah, we got married so.

I turned 20 just a couple of days before I proposed to I turned 20 just a couple days before I proposed to you. And you were still 19 when I proposed to you. But yeah, if they do allow 18 year olds, I guess I could have done that, but. Did you always think we were gonna get married that young? Kind of, yeah. Really? It was in that first year that we were dating that I'm.

Well, before you met me. Before I met you, no. Same. Like I was like, oh, I'll probably get married when I'm like almost 30, which I would say is like a very typical timeline now, like nowadays. But it's just because I fell in love and I met you early, you know?

It was crazy too, cause like we'd be up, we'd be like in these seminars and stuff, like up till late at night. And then sometimes I'd have like the 5 a.m. shift at McDonald's, so it sucked so bad when we were up like till midnight and then I'm waking up at 4 a.m. Shift at McDonald's so it sucked so bad when we were up like till midnight And then I'm waking up at 4 a.m. To go to work. Oh That wasn't fun. But luckily I used I think my my typical start time was around like 8 o'clock

I want to say I'm it's been so long. What are some secrets about McDonald's you can share or are you under some kind of oh Like stuff I would eat like if I were to go to McDonald's that I think is healthy Yeah This actually the grilled chicken like I would grill, like if I were to go to McDonald's, that I think is healthy. Yeah. Actually, the grilled chicken, like I would grill the chicken on the grill and it looked pretty good. Were you cooking it raw or was it like pre-cooked?

It was frozen, it was frozen chicken. But was it pre-cooked? No, I would cook it, I would grill it on the grill. But you put raw frozen chicken on there? No, no, no. So at least when I worked at McDonald's back in 2018, the chicken that I was grilling was frozen and then they had an option.

I don't know if they still have this. I haven't been to McDonald's in a little bit, but they had fresh never frozen beef. And those were like high quality from what I understand patties. Cause I was taking this like raw patty and putting it on the grill and making it. And then the other burgers,

the ones that if you just order like off the dollar menu or whatever, or the value menu now, cause I don't think they have the dollar menu anymore. Those patties are just like, it looks like a hockey puck. Like it's like this little thin hockey puck and you just go bing, bing, bing, bing, bing all across the grill. And you just grill a crap ton of them at the same time.

I still want to know about the chicken. You said it wasn't frozen, but it was frozen. So was it previously frozen and then they thaw it and then you put it on the grill or you put it- No, you put it on the grill frozen. Crazy. Crazy. Yeah. I would never think about that at home.

That's what I remember at least. Yeah. So, yeah, frozen. But you think that was like pretty. Oh, yeah. When I would get food there, I would either- Is it sanitary back there? Because I would eat it.

I would eat the food all the time. Like working, when you work at a McDonald's, you end up eating the food a lot. So- Do you get it for free? It depends. So they had like credits that you could, like if I worked a whole day, then I would I want to say they gave me like a $5 meal credits. Then I would just get like a salad and I would have the chicken. I think that's how how it works. But oftentimes, here's the thing though, you got to learn how to work the system

because I became friends with the upper management and I would be like so like they were nice to me and I was nice to them and I'd be like, Hey, any chance I could, you know, get one of those salads and like, it's nothing for them to give you a free salad. That's what I'm saying. Like that's on McDonald's. They should feed their employees when they're on shift. I don't know how it is at every McDonald's in the country. I just know from my experience at that specific location, it wasn't free food every time you

worked, but there were certain, I think we had a meal. I think it was a meal voucher that we could use if it was a full day. But the funny thing is I would always try to work extra because if I worked more than 40 hours in the week, I was trying to make as much money as possible because this is, I knew I was going to marry you, I knew that we needed money to get married and so I tried to work more than 40 hours because then I would get overtime, which was 40 hours because then I would get overtime overtime which was 50% extra so instead of making $9.50 per hour it came out to be what's the math there like 13 14 bucks ish so that was that was nice okay so I actually think McDonald's is the first place that lowered their prices really did they lower the prices recently? Yeah, let me check that up.

You're saying they like ended up dropping their prices recently? Yeah, they said McDonald's companies set to rethink prices. Well, I know they have like a $5 meal. Yeah, they're introducing a $5 meal deal. Which is insane because in today's economy, like you go to get a sandwich at Subway now,

it's like freaking 12 bucks. Thank you to Bombuzz for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Matt, how do you like it when you crawl into bed with me or rather I crawl into bed and stick my freezing cold feet on your back? That's probably my least favorite thing that you do. Wait, really? I don't know what to say. You never complained about it.

You just let me do it. That's so sweet. I let you do it. I do. Well, that's sweet because personally, there just let you do it. I let you do it. I do. Well, that's sweet because personally, there's nothing worse in my opinion than cold feet and Bombas agrees, which is why they've made it the coziest socks of the season. You guys, Bombas are top tier. Our kids actually were given Bombas socks, each of them for Christmas last year.

They had a Disney collab and they were really, really cute, extremely high quality socks and they made for an amazing gift. Wait, I actually didn't realize those were Bambas. Those are really cute socks. They just feel really, really soft, indulgent. Some of them have Sherpa, rich Marina wools, premium long staple cotton. You guys, these socks are so cushy, they're like walking on pillows. And you can get that same softness to in all their underwear and T-shirts as well.

Plus, Bambas make slippers, which that's just a classic Christmas gift. And you can get that same softness too in all their underwear and t-shirts as well. Plus Bambas make slippers, which that's just a classic Christmas gift that's just so nice to get. 100%. And you don't have to know someone very well to know that they want their feet to be warm and cozy. Yeah. And so that's why it makes a great gift.

Plus Bambas makes returns and exchanges super, super easy. And it's the season of giving as well. And Bambas goes back. Yeah for every purchase of Bombas, Bombas will actually donate a pair to someone that's experiencing housing insecurity. Donated over 140 million essential clothing items which is massive. So ready to feel good and do good? Head over to bombas.com slash unplanned and use code unplanned for 20% off your first purchase. That's B O M B A S dot-com slash unplanned code unplanned at checkout. What are your thoughts on plastic surgery? Oh Good question. I feel like everyone should just make the decision on what they want to do for their own body when it comes to

Plastic surgery. I'm not gonna judge someone for getting it or not getting it I kind of relate it to how I got braces as a kid. Like I was very insecure in my teeth when I was a freshman in high school and so I was so excited to get braces because I just wanted to have straight teeth and the thing is braces didn't fix the insecurities I had. I definitely was like so insecure and still have like areas where I am still insecure about things but the idea I had was like oh having these braces might make like give me this huge boost of confidence and I definitely was happy I did it but it also didn't fix everything so I think you need to take that into account when you are changing something about your body

you need to go deeper than just the outward appearance and figure out what's going on internally. Maybe you can work that through with therapy or a trusted friend. But I, at the same time though, I don't think there's anything wrong with people changing their appearance how they wish to. Hmm, that was a really good answer. Would you ever get plastic surgery?

If you consider Botox, plastic, is that considered plastic surgery? I don't think so, because that's not a surgery. I have like deep wrinkles under my eyes for whatever reason. I don't know. You don't. I do and so I would probably consider something to make the wrinkles less under my eyeballs because I feel like I've I got some wrinkly eyes you guys are like deep set to whenever I take pictures I always have to make sure like the flash is on the camera. Because you have a powerful brow. I have a freaking power brow, okay? And it like, there's, there's like a pocket of darkness in my eyeballs because it just like goes back into my head.

Open your eyes, Matt. I know, I know. And I've, that's the other thing. I have a tiny head and I have tiny eyeballs too. Like I have a squinty eye. If you were to look really closely, I got a squinty one. So I feel like maybe the wrinkles around my eyes if I were to ever do anything, plastic surgery wise, I'd do that. But oh, for sure. They can make your eyes not squinty. Like they can do so. Mark my words. I will get a hair transplant or whatever it's called the thing yeah cuz I'm gonna go bald and I I would love to have always have hair so I I mean that's not plastic surgery but it's kind of in the same kind of cosmetic yeah surgery I have no shame in saying that how do you feel about me getting plastic

surgery like I thought about getting boobs done what do you think I feel I feel the same way. It's whatever you want to do. Does it make them less fun if they're fake? Actually, no, I don't. I don't. Yeah, there's no judgment. Like, for instance, in my head, it might be less fun. Like, I don't know. You decided to get your teeth done and I liked your teeth before, but I also like your teeth now.

Like, it doesn't change anything about like just because it isn't completely fully natural. Like wearing makeup isn't fully natural, right? That's true. But I think you look great with makeup. So it's like I don't, I don't know. I'm cool with whatever you want to do. Thank you. You like the move without makeup too? I do. Okay, that was a hard hitting question there.

Should we do something? Oh, this one, I thought this one was fun. What's our family motto? I don't know why this became a quiz all of a sudden. Howards are kind, howards are patient, and howards are generous. Yes.

That's what you say to our boys all the time and it's so sweet. Yes, I love that. I'm like, howards are, and he's like like patient, generous, kind. Yeah, I'm thinking about adding some but I feel like we need to nail not just like him saying the words but like the meaning behind them. We should put that up on like a sign in our house. We should. Like that would be really neat. If it's on the wall then it's set in stone. Yeah. Yeah, that's kind of our family motto. I want to add helpful and respectful but I'm like, let's work,

let's focus on these three right now. Cause like, I feel like generous, patient, and kind really apply to that toddler age a lot cause they get, start to get really possessive of toys and like patience is a problem. They start to whine and like want things immediately. They don't understand waiting and kindness can be hard. They act impulsively, you know Yeah

Okay, why did you go to the emergency room recently Matt? Oh my gosh I guess we talked about my concussion on the podcast, but we didn't talk about the emergency room, but basically long story short Part of it actually was seeing comments in the podcast people were were like, dude, go to a doctor and get your head checked out. And so I saw those comments. I was like, that is a good point. My mom, who was in town when we were moving, was also like, Matt, it's been three weeks. Your head is still in pain.

Like you've never had a constant headache for three weeks before. Please go to the doctor. Remind the people why your head was in pain. I smacked my head on a kettlebell at the gym. I fell. But like the kettlebell wasn't moving. I was moving.

I fell backwards onto my head, smacked it. There's even a video. I put it up on like my TikTok and Instagram and stuff. It didn't seem like that big of a deal, but my head did bleed and then I went to the ER and they ended up luckily finding out at the ER that my head is not bleeding anymore. I mean, it bled when I initially hit the kettlebell.

But like your brain isn't bleeding. But my brain isn't bleeding, which that's what we were worried about. That's why when I went to the doctor, the doctor, I told them what was going on. They said, you have a concussion, go to the ER now to go get a scan, because we just wanna make sure there's no bleeding on your brain or anything.

And there wasn't. So then they just said, hey, take it easy, chill. Which has been really hard to do because to take it easy and chill when you have two children and you're moving. And then we also just went to an event at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital to learn more about what they're doing

to find a cure to childhood cancer. Like life doesn't stop. So it's kind of hard. Like I didn't wanna not go to St. Jude and support them and then learn more. Cause we're also going to do fundraising for St. Jude this year to help aid in their mission. Cause we love what St. Jude is doing.

But I just, it's hard to put life on pause. So my head still actually hurts still but it's gotten a lot better. And I'm just going to keep trying to take naps throughout the day if I need to, to help it. But it's hard to just like put life on pause completely because there's so much going on. But I am my head is feeling better, which is good. There's like, truthfully no such thing as sick days when you're a parent.

That is really I feel like when selflessness, the selflessness of choosing parenthood really kicks in. Yeah. Because you're like, I feel terrible, but like that doesn't really matter because these kids are fully dependent on you. This is the challenging part. There's so many good aspects, but there's no such thing. And you know what?

You're productive every single day that you're a parent. If I have five minutes now, I'm like, wow, we could do a million things right now. We could knock that out. I have five minutes since becoming a parent I don't know if you feel the same way. Yeah when we were in in Memphis to be at the st Jude event we were like we're here for 48 hours without our kids. We have so much time Even though we were going from conference to conference. Yeah, we still like between. We're like, wait, we never have margin like this. Yeah, I know. And on the plane, it was like, I can listen to a podcast in peace.

I can read. I can take a nap if I want to on the plane. Yes, I took a nap. It was pretty, it was wild. Yeah. Wait, when they did your head scan, was that a CT scan? It was a CT scan. It was so funny too, because we get in there

and I'm like we see this cool looking machine and I had been taking a few like little videos. I feel bad I should have come. No you're good and I asked the uh I asked the tech I'm like this looks so cool is it cool if I take a video and he's like sure and he's like are you like a vlogger and I'm like yeah and I was like I know it's weird but like I like you know document my life and stuff and he told me he was like well if you you wanna record during the scan, just don't bring the phone like by your head because that's where they're scanning it would like the-

They always put your head in there. Yeah, so I held my phone out by my knees and took a video, which was kind of funny. How long did it take? It was really fast. That was like a 90 second scan. Oh, because I might have gotten claustrophobic. I'm pretty sure that was my first CT scan.

I had an MRI done before and that took like, I want to say that's like 45 minutes. They injected dye into my veins because they were looking at the tumor in my back when I was 12 and how to get the tumor removed. So that was really long. But that's actually a fear of mine because, you know, I'm kind of claustrophobic. Oh, yeah. But like the MRI, like you go into this tube, like your whole entire body is in the tube and they're scanning everything. The CT scan was just on my head.

Well, what I do, do you think I'd freak out or? They let you listen to music, don't they? Yeah, you can listen to music in there. I'm trying to think of what else happened when I did the MRI. Can they knock you out? I think they can. Like I think if you had a serious fear, I want to say they could probably sedate you for the MRI, but I don't think they usually do that.

Yeah, I mean, it kind of sucks to get knocked out It's risky the hardest thing was just staying still when I was a kid You know because I could not move and I'm in this tube getting like there's all these magnets going around you like in this Tube thing to scan your body and see where the tumor is and if it because I had to do MRIs for a couple years After they remove the tumor just to make sure it wasn't coming back Mm-hmm I'm so thankful that I was born in a modern era because I would have died as a kid if I was born in like the 1800s.

They wouldn't have known how to get that tumor out. Well, and your mom didn't even know if it was cancerous or not until after they removed it, right? But it would have blocked like from what they said, if it would have grown and grown and grown, it would have blocked my ability to like go to the bathroom and you would have just like out of died. So I'm so thankful that I was born when I was born because any other time in human history I would have been a I would have been a dead man. So dead kid. I was a kid. So I'm so thankful. So so thankful

to the medical resources we have in America and in our world. It's yeah. You kind of touched on this but yesterday we got back from a trip to Memphis where we did an event with St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. We've been there a few times now, and every single time it's so fulfilling and inspiring. And you would think, like there are a lot of hard things to hear stories and testimonials from patients and parents that just like are heartbreaking.

And when you see their, like just how young they are and enduring something that is just like no person should have to face that let alone a child. They don't know what's going on. Especially when they're super young can be really confusing and scary. But you'd be surprised what a place of hope it is. It is such an inspiring joyful place. I'm curious if you had like one takeaway from that trip that you're like, oh, I want to expand upon that a little bit. Oh, man. I just know the story that really shook me was when that dad got up on stage and went to go talk about his daughter and how she had cancer as a kid.

And you have parents that go up on stage and their their kid made it. Their kids survived St. Judeude saved their child's life because The survival rate for childhood cancer has gone up from 20 to 80 Since st. Jude was founded and that that shook me and we even have i'm looking over here on the table We even have the pin that he handed everybody out of his daughter. I want to show you guys this right here suzy and it is Um the sweet man's daughter that he lost back in, I think he said 80, was it 89 or maybe it was in the, I think it was in the 90s, but he just wanted the world to remember his daughter

because of everything she went through and how hard she fought. But unfortunately, there's still that 20% of kids in our world that don't make it when they're diagnosed with cancer and so His story really impacted me and I was just like man. I want to do everything I can to make sure that we're still working towards progress in this area because no no parent should ever Ever have to lose a child for any reason at all. Like it's just I can't imagine what that's like and it

Shatters my heart. Yeah, that one stood out to me a lot too. Like they played an introduction video about Suzy and her father and then her father just walked on stage alone and he was like, I wanna introduce you to my daughter and then paused and he said, but I can't. Yeah. And I think like everyone's about to clap

because we were like so happy to hear that she was still with us. And then it just, the room just dropped because that is, like Matt said, no child, no parent should ever have to deal with that. No child should ever have to deal with that. And the quote that I remember him saying was that something about how him and Suzy

never really talked about death. Like they didn't, they didn't, that wasn't something that they brought up or spoke about. Except for one time she said, "'Dad, if I die, will people remember me?' And he said, "'Well, that's not for you to worry about "'because that will be my job then "'to make sure people remember you and your story.'"

So that's just one story of so many that we got to hear. And like Matt said, we're planning some things so we can hopefully as a community, as a family here, do something big for St. Jude, because ultimately like, what's the point of having so many eyes and ears on us if we can't be a part of something bigger? And St. Jude, truthfully, like every person

that we have met there and got to work with there, like they create a family atmosphere where you're rooting for the same things just like them and it's so personal to you too even though we haven't had um had to go through the St. Jude's program like they make it so personal for you something you want to be a part of so um thanks for sharing that story and letting me hijack it a little bit thank you you to ZocDoc for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. You guys, I use ZocDoc literally two weeks ago. I thought I had a concussion.

I was right. I got a doctor's appointment through ZocDoc and my doctor basically just told me, you have a concussion, go get your head scanned. And so I did. And luckily there was nothing serious wrong with my head. My doctor on Zoc Doc just encouraged me to sleep and rest and let my head recover because I smacked it on a kettlebell at the gym. Zoc Doc is a free app and website where you can search and compare highly quality in network doctors, choose the right one for your needs and click to instantly book

an appointment. We're talking about in network appointments with more than 100,000 health care providers across every specialty from mental health to dental health, eye care to skin care, and much more. It's really nice because any time that you feel like you're like, ah man, I feel like I should get this checked out but it feels like such a hassle to find a doctor, go in somewhere or make an appointment. Who knows how long it'll take to get to my appointment? How do I know if they take my insurance or in-network, blah, blah, blah, all that stuff.

Zottock appointments happen really fast. Typically within just 24 to 72 hours of booking, you can even score same day appointments like Matt did. Was it 30 minutes of going on ZocDoc that we got a doctor's appointment? And you actually had a virtual appointment. You can either do virtual appointments or you can do in-person appointments.

They'll set you up with either. It's really, really nice. We use ZocDoc and you should too. So stop putting off those doctor's appointments go to ZocDoc.com slash unplanned to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash unplanned. ZocDoc.com slash unplanned. Earlier this year you shaved your head. Oh man.

It was something that you had kind of tested the waters with me a little bit about conversation. You're like I kind of wanted to shave my head. You would show me some actors that had buzzed hair and you're like, don't you think that looks kind of, you're going to test in the waters and I wasn't really giving you like, I wasn't going to tell you no, but I was kind of like not giving you like the,

yeah babe, do it. You want to talk about that for a little bit? Yeah, I'll be honest. What does it teach you to have a shaved head? I'll be honest, it was not a good look. Like I look back at the pictures and I'm like, ooh, like that, that was not a good look. The buzzed hair.

Not my best haircut. And it's really just cause I have very thin, fine hair. Well, I think it's also cause you did it yourself. Even if I would have gone to a barber though, babe, like it wouldn't have looked good. Oh, okay. And it's just cause I don't have like, I don't have super thick, luscious hair.

And so if anything that I gathered from doing that was I need to be like taking care of my hair because it's gonna, it's gonna all go away if I don't. So I'm glad I did it. Like that, that event got me to start buying finasteride and minoxidil, which are the prescribed medications for helping treat male pattern baldness. I thought it was gonna hopefully look good. Your hair's looking thick now. I feel like it grew back. Thank you. Did it grow back healthier? You know, I don't really know.

I wanna say I just have a better haircut because I've been going to a barber now. That was another thing that I started doing. I realized I need to stop going to the cheapest place possible to get a haircut. Like I can afford to go to a barber and have them cut my hair. And they've been doing a great job.

I have a place. It does look, you do notice a difference. You get what you pay for with haircuts. Yeah, you do. You really do get what you pay for and when you go to the same person every time, they know what you like. They know how to style it based off of your head shape, all that. But now I'm looking for a new barber since we moved. The place I used to go to in Phoenix is like a 45 minute drive. So it was funny, my barber, Jen, shout out to Jen, she's the goat. She was like, it was funny, she literally told me, she's like, you're gonna have to find a new barber. Like just out of, you know, respect for me,

cause she was just saying, don't drive 45 minutes to come to me, it's fine. So I'm gonna find a new barber soon. Now what's the weirdest movie you've ever seen? Oh my gosh. I have an answer. That's a, what's the weirdest movie you've ever seen? Oh my gosh. I have an answer. That's a, what's your answer? You answer first.

What do you think my answer is gonna be? I have no idea. I can't think of it. Jack and Jill. Jack and Jill, Jack and Jill's so funny though. Jack and Jill's so funny. That is one thing I wish that you liked is those comedy movies, Abby. Like Adam Sandler movies, Will Ferrell movies.

I wish you liked... I love to laugh. I love to laugh. But I don't think you find that... You don't find that humor funny. That humor isn't funny to me. For whatever reason, I do find it funny. Like my brother and sister-in-law turned on... Like water boy? It was called Eurovision with Will Ferrell and we were all dying laughing. Nacho Libre. Like we thought it was so funny. What's the other one that people watch but yeah, I know you don't care for those What's the other one? That's like? Everyone watches with the curly hair guy Curly hair guy you mean Jack Black Napoleon dynamite yeah, I'm like I

Here's the thing. I respect it because obviously a lot of people find it funny Like so many people but I just call that boy humor and it's not for me I love to laugh and I love I would say that I like comedy But I think that rather step brothers is hilarious. That movie is so funny I was listening I was like on tech talk to the day Bargatzi like that type of dry humor and I think I think Nate Bargatze is funny. I think Will Ferrell is funnier than Nate Bargatze. I do. I think Will Ferrell is funny, but not.

What I am impressed. I think Will Ferrell is really funny. I am impressed by Nate Bargatze, though, because he keeps it clean. And that is very hard to do to try to make people laugh by keeping it clean. That's a skill. Like, you have to be very skilled to do that. For those of you that don't know, Jack and Jill, both Jack and Jill are played by Adam Sandler

and apparently the movie has a sequel. If I have it my way, I will not be watching the sequel. You gotta- No, it's Adam Sandler, man. I know it was probably like, you put a lot of work into that one. I don't think I was there to target audience for that one. Here's the thing, Adam Sandler would be a dream podcast guest. So I feel like now that's never going to happen.

No. What if I told him, just like, hey, I respect it so much. It's just not the type of humor for me. I feel like you just hurt Adam Sandler's feelings by saying you didn't like Jack and Jill. He's never going to see this. But I do want to say I just respect it. Well, OK, you guys, also, you know,

Jack and Jill ran up the hill, fetch a pail of water. Like that's not like anything like this movie. The fact that they even called it Jack and Jill is like, where did they get this from? My whole entire family thought that movie was hilarious. Not by you. That is the weirdest movie I've ever seen. I really can't tell you of one.

You can't think of one? I can't think of one. I don't know, maybe like a weird one I'd be thinking of as a comedy that I thought was funny, like maybe Step Brothers, but I didn't think he was like weird in a bad way. Weird in a cool way, you know? Oh, okay.

Well, that's the weirdest movie I've ever seen. I guess I'll just answer that question for you. Like I said, totally respect it. If anyone finds enjoyment or gets a laugh out of it, I love that for them. Yeah. Just me. I think it's a me problem, clearly.

It's clearly a me problem. I need to get this stick out of my butt. Okay, switching gears just a little bit. I don't know where this came from in my brain, but when we were talking about us working at that pizza restaurant, it reminded me of some of the things that happened in that pizza restaurant, it reminded me of like some of the things that happened. Okay.

In that place. Oh my gosh. Do you know what I'm thinking about? Yes, you mentioned it right before this. You mentioned the time that one of our co-workers pulled the gun on another one of our co-workers. Yes, in the parking lot, in their work uniform and apron. It feels like that's something that happens in a movie, like not real life, but like that actually happened.

But like at the time it didn't even hit that hard just because like crazy things happened all the time. So many crazy things. So we're like, oh man, why do you have to go and take it that far? But like that's so serious. Like at work, at the restaurant, one of our coworkers pulled a pulled a gun thank God no

one was hurt yeah and I think they were both fired they were both fired yeah and the thing is it's a guy this fight so the fist fight happened first and then because the reason the fist fight broke out though is because someone took, like this restaurant wasn't getting a ton of customers. Not a ton of customers, it was a new restaurant. You're supposed to take turns with tables to keep it fair among all the servers, but someone must have accused the other person of stepping out of turn and taking their table. Yes.

And so that's what the fight broke out. And let me tell you, the tips at this restaurant, I mean, it was probably a $5 tip. No, yeah, we're talking about a whole entire fist fight. Which is sad. Which is sad. Over five bucks. Yeah, which is also dumb. Bonkers, bonkers. Okay, so you go ahead, they had a fist fight.

And yeah, and then one guy was just getting so, so beat up that he just decided, you know what? I'm going to take out this weapon. And that's what he did. And I think- Did he aim it at him? I forget. I think there's a video of the fight.

I think the reason- Cause it was in the parking lot, right outside. It was in the parking lot. And one of the other co- one of our other, gosh dang it, this is so crazy. One of our other coworkers was recording the fight. This all happened in college. Our, was this freshman year or sophomore year of college?

Soph... Sophomore year? No, it was freshman and then a little bit of sophomore. Crazy. So yeah. No, it was freshman and sophomore. Weird. Now that we're saying this right now, I'm like...

I have a parenting hypothetical for you, Matt. Okay. All right. Say Griffin and Augie are in high school. Yes. They would never do this because they're angels. Yeah. But say for instance they snuck out at night and went to a party. Okay. And you found out about it the next morning. Yeah. What would you do? Ooh, really good question. Or what would you, we would obviously have a conversation together,

but what would you propose we do? I always want our kids to know that no matter what, if they make a poor decision as a young person to get drunk, high, whatever, I do not want them operating a vehicle under no circumstances. And so I think we need a really creative safe space so that if they do do something stupid, we need to make it clear that like you call mom or dad and we're gonna come pick you up because it's like that is a big- Not worth your or anybody else's life. Not worth your life and not worth anybody else's life.

And so I wanna make that abundantly clear. The tricky thing that I can't figure out with that situation though, is I never wanna be in a situation where we're just like- Enabling that behavior. Enabling our children to do that stuff all the time. Yeah. Like we're picking up our drunk kid every weekend from a party. At a certain point, it's like, this is not okay. Yeah. So, but then I also don't want our kid

to then be making even worse choice and potentially get themselves killed or somebody else killed because that happened to some kids at my high school. The year that I started high school, I was a freshman, a kid was drunk driving some other kids in the car and they all died because he was driving a hundred and hit a tree. So it's just horrible. So with situations like that, I think we're seeing driverless vehicles be rolled out. I just saw a video yesterday where this guy pressed a button on his phone and his Tesla pulled out of a crowded Costco parking lot, drove around to grandma, stopped for another vehicle coming up, and then drove around some people

and got to him to pick him up. So I'm hoping that by the time that our kids are older, we won't even have an issue with drunk driving anywhere because of driverless vehicles. So you just you always take it to another dimension. My brain doesn't operate like that. You can't give one blanket answer for certain parenting things because there's always more to the story. I don't know.

It's going to depend on the kid on how we discipline them because you can't just you can't discipline your kids all the same because some kids need things differently than another kid if that makes sense you know just like your expectations can't be the same for each kid i think i think you have to cater it to their individual needs yeah like if why would it be kind of cute if they went together like they were in like that's just the stage i'm at now where any type of sweet interaction they have together. Like I'm like, oh, they're buddies. Like if they're buddies in high school, that's really sweet. But obviously I want them to be doing good things

and not sneaking out. I would be first of all terrified that my kids were out and about and I was just sleeping and I had no idea. Like if I were to wake up and they weren't there, that would make my, I would throw up or pass out. I'd be so worried and be like, hey, can't be doing this to your mother.

Yeah, I don't know, I'm so interested to see, like you said, I think we're gonna continue to know them and their personalities. Obviously, they're gonna be totally different in high school than they are right now. So I'd be interested to see how we would choose. Because you're right, it's a fine line between of course safety is the most important,

but you also on the flip side don't wanna enable unsafe behaviors. And so, yeah. Or even like unintentionally promote them. So that was something I just was wondering about. Yeah, why do you ask? We can talk as much or as little as about this because I know it's a heavier one.

We've been talking a lot, personally, together about it. Obviously, you guys, by the way, when we film a podcast, we talk all day, every day. So we're not usually discussing new things. We obviously are in open communication constantly and then some things we're just like, oh, this could be a fun conversation to include. Or not even this isn't a fun conversation. This is just more of like a serious one. So we can talk as much or as little as you want about it.

But you've opened up recently about how this year has been probably in many ways, one of the hardest yet for you. How much do you wanna share about that? Yeah, no, for sure. Like I have opened up a bit a little bit online, but I've definitely been depressed this year. That's for sure. And that's so unlike me,

because I've always been like the really positive, happy guy. But I think just due to unforeseen circumstances that have happened this year, it was really hard to be positive and really hard to be happy, you know? So like, I don't have like clinical depression where it's like something that I was born with.

It was kind of like situational based off of situations from this year, but it was, yeah, I wouldn't wish that on anybody. Like knowing how sucky you can feel to just like not have any desire to get out of bed, to not have any excitement about doing activities in the day, to like literally have no motivation for anything, it's a horrible horrible way to live and I would never wish that on any person ever. So yeah. It's really sad for me to hear

and it's obviously not about me at all but seeing you being obviously so intimately related like our lives are so, one, seeing you struggle like that was super painful. And I feel like it was one of those things where I felt before you ever, like months before you even mentioned anything. And even then I kind of felt like I had to like really pry to get it

out of you to get you to open up what do you think was holding you back from even sharing it with me it's fun I think when you're depressed you don't even realize it's happening as it's happening I guess it's going on like I'm gonna much I'm in a better place now I'm not gonna say a much better place because I feel like that'd be untruthful because there's still days that are really hard, but I am doing better. And I think looking back, I'm like, oh shoot, like that was really bad. Because you have no motivation

to do literally anything at all. Like you, it's just, all you want to do is lay in bed and like try to make yourself forget about everything. And it's, yeah, again, I would never wish that on any person, seriously, because even people that you consider like, quote unquote, bad people. I don't know, there's just so much more behind the curtain to people about like things they've gone through losses they've had, maybe there's a mental illness they're struggling with struggling with. So it's just like,

I feel for people that deal with that, are dealing with that, have dealt with that, because I had never experienced that really until I think about a year ago is when it first started. Yeah, and so And so that's why it was soul crushing. It was, ah dude, why am I like, You don't have to share as much. Yeah, okay. If you want to, you can. I wrote a song about like being depressed, thinking it would like help people that were also depressed.

And then it felt like the whole internet turned on me and was like, you hate your wife and kids. That was really, really, really, really, really, really, really hard. Cause I love my wife and kids so much. So, ah, shoot. That was really eye opening because I think we've made strides as a culture, like immense

strides in the area of mental health and even that conversation surrounding men and mental health, but that was like, oh shoot, we are nowhere close to where we need to be. I mean, it's not about me, but just like walking through that and seeing that response to it, it filled me with anger. And that's just completely not fair. And anyone that knows you, it knows that you love your wife and kids,

but also depression doesn't care if you're a father or if you're a husband or, and it's not personal. That's the whole point. or and it's not personal that's the whole point like what I don't like it's not personal I never once took it personally yeah because I think we know it's we are educated nowadays I would like to believe on what depression is and what it isn't and so that was just so yeah stupid but thanks for opening up about that thank you to Haya for sponsoring this portion of today's episode we've started calling our sons Haya vitamins

medicine so earlier today Abby currently has a headache and she was like I need to get some medicine out of the diaper bag and Griffin goes medicine because he thought you were gonna have Haya without him. Yeah he basically thinks anytime we say medicine that it means Haya and he loves them I think they just taste really good. So he's a huge fan. He's probably their number one fan. They taste great, but parents can feel good about them because typical children's vitamins are basically just candy in disguise filled with over five grams of sugar on all the

chemicals and other gummy junk growing kids just don't need to eat. And that's why they created Haya. It's a pediatrician approved super powered chewable vitamin They bring them in these really cool refillable jars are yellow and they have a sticker pack So your child can be a part of this process to and decorate and personalize your own little bottle and they send these refillable Little packets of the Haya vitamins and the vitamins themselves are really good You guys are formulated with the help of nutritional experts Hi is pressed with a blend of 12 organic fruits and veggies then supercharged with 15 essential vitamins and minerals They fill the most common gaps in modern children's diets to provide the full body nourishment our kids need

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they need to grow into healthy adults. What are some steps that you would, you feel comfortable sharing that helped you get out of that? I know you're not like totally healed from that experience yet, but. Yeah, honestly moving was a really good thing. We've only moved for two weeks,

but I can already feel like better after this move. Why do you think that is? I think it's just like my environment has changed. And so sometimes to change your behavior, you need to change your environment and a move is good for that because it feels like a fresh start. And we moved to an area where there's a lot

of young families, a lot of people with kids, a lot of people I can relate to because it's hard to be friends with people that like, like I have two children, I have a one-year-old and a two-year-old. So if I want to hang out with someone that doesn't have kids, it makes it a lot trickier because their life looks totally different than mine. But if I want to hang out with a dad that also has kids, it makes it a lot trickier, because their life looks totally different than mine.

But if I want to hang out with a dad that also has two children and they work from home like me, now it's like, hey, let's meet at the park at noon, you know, and take the kids and just like, we can chat while we're watching our boys play, whatever. That is so great. And so now that we're in an area that is a lot more kid-friendly,

it's been so much better on my mental health, because that's the stage of life that we're in and that's the stage of life that all these other people are in as well. Even when you're darkest days, you still have like a light to you that like, it's like what people say, like it's silly, but that golden retriever energy

where you're just like always, you know, want to do something fun and you wanna do it big and you wanna be like, you just fill a room with light. But I feel like it was starting to dim when that like depression was taking over and like becoming heavier for you. But even just recently, like we're doing the same stuff but I see a new light in you.

Like, and I see that same spark that you used to have and like same appreciation and like the way you would Like a dog would just like run to like their owner like when they get back like I don't know I'm starting to see that same like energy and excitement and enthusiasm for life again, and that's like so Makes me so happy Thanks. Yeah. No, I am happier. And it's really, really sweet. We were just at this fall festival yesterday

and seeing the joy on our kids' faces as they went down the slide and went into the bounce house, like pure joy from our children. And it is just such a fun thing to witness. Like I don't think Griffin has ever been on a bounce house, you know, slash slide like that before in his life. Like he's still two, he's a very young kid.

There's a lot of- He's been on a lot of bounce houses, but- True, but like that was a pretty epic bounce house. Yeah. And he was having the time of his life. And just to witness the joy on his face filled me with joy too. Truthfully. Yeah. So, not to make this episode heavy, but like in the spirit of being authentic in a way

that's like safe and healthy for us, I just felt like we should touch on that just a little bit. So thanks for opening up about that. Of course. So yeah, life about the new house. You talked about how at first you were hesitant about the move, but now you're feeling like it was the right decision. Oh, 100%.

Yeah, I would really highly recommend a move to anybody that is like going through something. If like you've tried everything and nothing's working, maybe consider moving like seriously when your environment's different, you approach things from a new angle and you have a new lens on every situation. So I think moving is a great option if you can afford it. And if finances are tough, like if you get creative with it, there's ways you can change up your environment

to allow you to have a change mentally. Yeah, that wasn't our motivator for moving, but that was like an unforeseen. Yeah, an unforeseen benefit. Major benefit. Yeah. Oh, we've been talking in our marriage a lot about love languages.

Have we talked about that on the podcast yet? Maybe a little bit, but yeah, it's been a big topic of discussion. We had the breakthrough moment. We did. We really did. Because I always like when I want it, my love language is acts of service. And so when I wanted to show Matt love, I'd be like, or like at the end of the day, he's like, we're, you know, like I'm like, I showed you love in all these ways. You're like, but that's not the way that, and the same thing for you to me.

That's not the way that I feel loved. So Matt's love language is words of affirmation. Obviously we love all the love languages, let's be real. Every single one is great. But the one that truly makes us feel loved and bonded with our partner is different. And so we were trying to give the one, it's a classic problem, trying to give the one that you want to receive. And I'm like,

look at all these things I did for you. You're like, look at all these nice things I said about you. It's so funny because like for me, nothing in the world means more to me than someone saying nice things to me. It makes me feel so good. Gifts, who cares? Physical touch, great, who cares? Acts of service, I can go, you made me food? Okay, like, I mean, take out's like pretty simple. So it's like for me, like for someone to show me that they love me, to just tell me that and tell me why means the world to me.

See, for me I'm like, show me. But for you, it's completely different. Yeah. For you, you don't give a crap about the words I'm saying. I guess you do care about the words I'm saying, but more than anything, you just want me to show you with an action. Yeah, like you can say whatever you want, but prove it. But in my head, showing an action is like,

why don't I just freaking tell her why? You know? And so we've had this breakthrough in our marriage where it is like, why don't I just freaking tell her why? You know, and so we've had this breakthrough in our marriage where it's like, we understand that we communicate completely differently. And the way we express our love for each other is completely different. And so now I need to rewire my brain to know

whenever Abby's doing an active service for me, that is her telling me she loves me. Now, because now she's more aware of the fact that I like words of affirmation, she's gonna try to be better about doing that. And she has been. And that's been like super encouraging. And then on my end, I've noticed that she likes

acts of service, so I've been trying to be more focused and aware of doing acts of service rather than just telling her why I love her because it means more to Abby when I show her why through an act of service. So that's been a breakthrough. It's really cool that now we can cater to each other's wants and needs more.

But what's arguably been even cooler about this revelation that we had that seems so simple probably, is that like to know like this whole time you were telling me that you love me in multiple ways. And I was telling you that I love you in multiple ways that was going unnoticed so it was like so cool that we were both like trying to get like show each other love and give love but it was just like getting missed or like unrecognized. And the reason this is so important to have these conversations in marriage

is because when Abby keeps showing me she loves me through acts of service, because that's how she thinks that she needs to show me love or give me love, my brain is like having this question of like, oh my gosh, does she love me? Because she's not telling me. Yeah.

She's not telling me she loves me, so maybe she doesn't love me. Like, it's crazy how your brain can do that. Cause my brain isn't recognizing your acts of service as love. Yeah. And it's almost like now we can rewrite those moments and be like, no, that was love. Obviously like we can do things differently,

but like that was love. And so, yeah, it's been doubly, like there's been two benefits to this. And I don't know, it probably seems so simple, but maybe it's worth like talking with your partner about again like revisiting and maybe it's changed maybe their love length which has changed I don't know um but that's really cool and I think it's a way to keep things like continue to like be so in love because I told Matt like obviously staying together in our marriage is super important, but ultimately what I think would be worse,

I don't know if I mean worse, but would be just as bad would be to stay together for years and years and years in a loveless marriage. Horrible. And I think that- And a lot of people do that. It's crazy. I know a lot of people that have done that.

The amount of marriages out there that are loveless is really sad. It's a lot. It's a big percentage. And I see how it happens. I totally do. And it's because these people feel trapped, right? They feel like there's no hope.

They feel like they need to stay together for the kids. And both of them are not happy. Their kids aren't happy because the kids aren't in a healthy environment. It's horrible. Well, they wanna see't in a healthy environment. It's horrible. Well, they want to see their parents love each other. It's a horrible, horrible thing. It takes work.

It takes conversation. It takes humility. And we're still learning all those things too. And like we've messed up a million times. And I just think that that was a cool thing to like recommit to doing in our marriage. And like, that's ultimately the thing that marriage is. It's learning and making changes, learning and making changes.

So ultimately, like your marriage could either be growing apart or you could be growing together. And I really believe that. Like there's no just staying where you're at. And so that was a cool revelation. Obviously we're not marriage experts, but I don't know, maybe that could just like spark a new conversation between you and your partner tonight or something. So Matt what's something that's getting you excited nowadays? I'm pretty excited for snowboarding season coming up. Yeah I want to snowboard with you again. Let's do it. On the

greens and blues. You can I bet you this year you'll do a black diamond. No. I bet you it's gonna happen. No have you ever seen that video that girl she's like I'm kind of not like a zippy like a woo girl. No. I kind of like the lay down and take going to happen. No, have you ever seen that video of that girl? She's like, I'm kind of not like a zippy, like a woo girl. No, what is that? I kind of like the lay down and take a nap girl. No. This while she's snowboarding and I send it to you because I was like, this is me. Oh my gosh.

I'm just excited to take Griffin on the slopes because he's old enough now to snowboard. He's running now. Like he is so good on his feet. He has great balance. He's definitely- He kind of runs hilariously though. He's definitely of age though to where I can get him out on the slopes, get him on probably even a little snow soon. We could take him to like skateboarding lessons too, which would be kind of cute.

Like if you'd have like dad and lad time on at the skate park, I think that'd be great. So this is the video. I'm just... I'm not like a zoom around like you. I'm kind of like a... calm... or I kind of like a lay arounder. Like a lay arounder all day. That's me. I'm not a zoom arounder.

I'm not a zoom arounder like you. I'm like a calmer. Okay, Abby, I just came through. I just had a brilliant idea for you. What? Because you would love to like read a book in the lodge. Yes, in that little hot cocoa. Why don't you listen to an audio book while you're snowboarding? That would be amazing.

I would fall down. Because one of my favorite things to do is to listen to like a banging playlist of like great EDM like songs and just shred down. It feels like you're a superhero. You feel like you're an Avenger. Cause you like, I clock in, there's people that go faster than me, but I've clocked speeds like around like 40 miles per hour.

So you're flying. It feels like you're literally like an eagle going down this mountain. It's amazing. I feel like you're missing the point of the video. I'm not a zoom arounder. I can't even listen. I can't even, the thought of listening to something while I'm going down. I'm still fighting for my life on the

slopes so much that I'm like, I can't have another stimulus happening. Like my whole energy has to go towards keeping me alive. But you've snowboarded like four times. You're going to get it. You're going to get better, sweetheart. You're going to get better. Oh my gosh. I bet you the cool mom that could snowboard with her sons, but you will be you will be keep coming with me Snowboarding is one of those things that it sounds dreadful for me But truthfully, I know every single time as soon as I have a good run. I'm like addicted yeah, and I know that if I go a season or More like multiple seasons without doing it. I'll never get back out there

So I at this point I have to continue to do it. There is a big learning curve. Learning at first is awful. Yeah and it sucks because it's so expensive. You're like I spent all this money just to cry on and get freezing cold. But you got to give it a couple days. And get a bruise on my tuchus. Yep and if you ripstick, I bought you a ripstick just so you could practice snowboarding because for whatever reason the the motion of ripsticking on concrete is like the same motion as you make on the snowboard to turn and to carve. So let's get you back on the ripstick. So we definitely need to plan a trip. Yeah. Maybe to Montana. Montana was really fun. Yeah, we'll figure that out. Wait a minute. I

actually have a question that the people that go way back a little bit might want to justice for. You said that we were going to get a dog at the end of 2021. Yeah, and then we found out we were pregnant like the next day, okay? Okay, we're not pregnant now, so what about the dog? I think we can ask for grace, we have two children. We have two human beings to take care of, and that has been a lot.

So are you a liar, Matt Howard? I guess you could say that I did not tell the truth and I said we were getting a dog. And I'm sorry, we had two kids So no, I'm I'm totally aligned. I feel like the further I get away from dog ownership, I am or dog parenthood, if you will. I feel like I think I'm cashed out with two babies at this point. What's great is when our kids see dogs, they get so excited, they pet them, play with them, all that. Yeah, it's fun. And then we walk away. We don't have to clean up their poop. Yeah, that's what some people say about kids. We're already

wiping kids' butts. I don't want to have to clean poop off of our carpet. You have to either choose dogs or kids. I choose children. I choose human beings over dogs. Since we already have them. I'm a fan of humans. No, but be honest. You think down the line we'll probably not be a dog. Couldn't tell you right now. I want to hear your embarrassing story. We dodged it. We dodged it. No, I want to hear it. I want to hear it. Oh my gosh.

I was going to share that you literally showed your grandma a video of me naked on accident. I can never forgive you for that. I told my grandma not to scroll. I showed her one picture. They always scroll. Why couldn't have you hidden that video somewhere on your phone? Like you just had it in your camera roll.

I'm so dumb. And your poor grandma had to see your husband with no clothes on. We don't know if she did or not. We know she did. You saw her face afterwards. No I didn't, I didn't see anything on her face. We know that your grandma saw me naked.

For sure. You said she like handed the phone back like all awkwardly to you. Well no, in my mind efforts. What do you think that means? No, no, no. The only reason I thought she did is because that video was there and she had scrolled beyond that. She scrolled past it. Yeah. And it was in the first frame. What do you think she saw? I think she saw you naked.

That's what I'm saying. I really, I don't think we should ever talk about it with her. We've never talked about it with her and I don't think we should ever talk about it with her. We've never talked about it with her and I don't think we ever will. Except on this podcast for hundreds of thousands of people to listen to. What good would come out of that conversation? I don't think your grandma listens to our podcast so I think we're off the hook. You never know.

You never know. Maybe one of her Bible study friends is going to tell her to listen to this episode once they hear about it. No, please don't put it in anyone's mind. Oh my gosh. Oh wow, okay, That was a crazy note to end on. All right. Well, thank you for being here. For the record, it was the video of me without my clothes on. It wasn't anything crazy. It was literally- No, it wasn't anything crazy. It was a funny video that happened after you pooped your pants.

Because we made this YouTube video while we were- All the backstory comes out. Okay. All right. We made a YouTube video while we were- All the backstory comes out. Okay, all right. We made a YouTube video while we were in LA trying the weirdest foods in LA and we had all these funky like types of grilled cheese and octopus. And we couldn't park because we were in LA so that Matt really- But we had all these funky foods and my stomach got so upset and because LA parking is atrocious

and made a park like a mile from where we were staying at this Airbnb- It didn't make it. I was like sprinting from the parking spot and I just I wasn't able it was literally like a foot from the toilet because like something like once my brain saw the toilet it could not hold it back anymore. I could not. It was horrible. But the video was just like a funny video that I took just for us to have for the memes and honestly I'm glad I have that video but I'm not glad that my grandma got a hold of it.

Yeah, that was embarrassing. And now everybody knows. Hey, it's okay, I was the best of us. All right, all right. Well, thanks for being here. I'm sure other people listening to this right now have pooped their pants before too. I'm sure they're also, they have a family member

that's seen them unclothed. Yeah. And they are mortified by it. That's just what happens with family. Yeah. Every once in a while. Shit happens. Hahaha.

Hahaha. Oh my gosh. Okay. Peace out dudes. Peace out dudes.