The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby - Kian & Ayla on Having a Baby, Breaking Up & Why They're Not Getting Married

Episode Date: October 18, 2023

This episode is sponsored by Caraway Homes. Visit Carawayhome.com/unplanned to take advantage of this limited-time offer for 10% off your next purchase. In this episode, we were joined by Kian & Ayla. We talked about their 2 experiences in breaking up with each other (and getting back together of course), why they don't want to get married, and why Ayla (even though she doesn't want to get married) would like to be engaged. Make sure to rate our podcast and leave a review if you can, it really helps us out! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

He's more to me than my boyfriend. Well, I'm baby daddy now. Yeah, but I don't want to call you baby daddy. So I told him, I told him recently that I want to be engaged for the rest of my life. Are you like scared of the idea of Mary? Of commitment. I'm just like kind of a realistic person in the sense that

we never know where things are going to go. Like, what if we don't know? It's so hard. We came to each other and we're like, this isn't working out. We should probably separate. And then he moved out. I knew I wanted to get back together. This second time was a little different.

I think we both had the same. We both got two times, by the way. This episode is sponsored by Careway Homes. What's up, dudes? And welcome back to the Unplanned Podcast! Y'all! I wouldn't have always stayed that part. You know, I really don't know.

It's just always been that way. It's more your personal. You can do it if you wanted to. I know it's probably premature, but how do you end your podcast You can do it if you want it. I know it's probably premature But how do you end your podcast anything specific peace out? Okay, who came up with this? Was it you? Yeah, we first started Well, it's because that was called Abby dude and people thought that was funny So then we started and come up with the most annoying thing for our YouTube channel

That's why I brought it up because I don't think it's annoying. I think it's pretty good What do you say? Let's see. Okay, so our our YouTube is our diary of three. Okay It's gonna be different when we have another one because we'll have four, but for now, our short. That'd be in the future there. Shorten its ODO three, our diary of three. So for the very end of our videos, I say ODO three, oh, and she hates it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh And she's going, because have you ever seen back in the day that guy?

He was what's his name? Liver King. Liver King. Yeah, he was in Liver King. Did you ever see Liver King? Yeah, he got caught. Like, he got caught. I know, he was the type of guy that was left.

Liver King. Liver King is like this guy. I don't necessarily love him because he's brought. Well, okay, it's in a humane way, I guess, but he eats raw meat every single day. Like, like hearts, but like, but, liver. Yeah, but. He eats anything from the animal.

You guys have never had pork butt. Are you guys not from the midwest where people eat pork butt? No, all I eat is this corn. Oh, you can't see it. I have corn tattooed on me. Corn. But basically at the end of his videos he goes liver king out

liver king out and Are some like no I don't I like make it so much extra he just is like liver king out here I would be honored to have liver king on the podcast. That's our sand. Yeah I on the podcast. That's not saying, yeah. Eat some raw blood. Yeah. Oh my God. I don't know if I'll do the audio for you out right there. I mean, you're like that. You said what?

I'm weird, sir. Dude, he said he wanted boobs earlier. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that, you guys. You're funny. You're funny. I do. I really, why are we having a podcast?

I'm going to get myself in trouble. I think it's so funny, though. I feel like we could call ourselves the Tatted up game because all of us have tats Did you guys know that we're all tatted up? I noticed you I noticed that you have a sleeve I noticed you got some tats and we have tats too. We have matching tats. You ready show? Three two one So why are you counting? Oh my god. That's it dude. What does your say dude?

Yep It's like I don't even know why you always count down That's more no, no, I mean yeah, yes, but it wasn't bad. It was like it was quick There's oh yeah, that's got a hurt way more than this. Oh, there's a fake his most was in his hand actually I believe that you say Yeah, okay, so get lost Well, I got I need to I believe that in the USA. In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA?

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In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA? In the USA I feel like it also kind of tickle. No. No. No. Maybe we want to punch the nearest thing. Oh, that was so mean. That was so mean. Aila was throwing me.

I was like, before I do your intro, you said you have a corn tattoo. Is that because you're from Nebraska? I'm from Iowa. Iowa. And from Iowa, but it was Sue City, Iowa. So it was like, there was a bridge that separated Sue City and like the neighboring town where my grandpa lived.

I don't remember it, but Nebraska's Iowa is kind of the same thing to me. How have you been to South Dakota? Because I've actually never met someone in my life from that state. I feel like that state is actually just like vacant on the map and like nobody knows anybody. So I have to go to my mom has like a best,

best friend that I call my aunt in South Dakota. Okay. She has like a ranch and all these horses and stuff. So like I grew up South Dakota. It's like the top left corner of Iowa and top right of Nebraska and bottom corner of South Dakota. So right there it was like my home. South Dakota.

So yeah, short answer yes. You hurting your first folks. South Dakota does exist. It does exist. We talked about this before. We're like, I don't know. I just really get out of state. That's where the Mount Rushmore is.

Oh, that's right. That is correct. The president. That's right that is correct the president that's you know that we need to go there yeah honestly out there together that's all they have there though for those of you that don't know Kean and Aila they just started a couple slash family channel on YouTube but their story doesn't start there Kean is an OG YouTuber who started in 2010, and he's been in various movies and TV shows, and Aila is a lifestyle-flash fashion creator

with a strong following on both YouTube and Instagram. And she was Logan Paul's assistant. Is that true? I like saw a video pop up when I was researching you guys, and it was something about you like being Logan Paul's assistant. I was like, no way, that's crazy. Yeah, I mean, that's kind of in the beginning of,

I had done social media a little bit before that, and I had kind of like started to grow my following, and then I happened to, him and I were good friends, we all live in the same building. It was that all the influencers lived at one time in Hollywood, And he needed an assistant, but it was also, I always tell people, it's kind of like, I wasn't assistant, but I was also like a character on his blog. So it was like more than just doing assistant work. It was kind

of like him just doing things and like, I was like playing like a character too. Like I was always like the mom trying to like get them to calm down and do stuff. So my following grew like substantially. I think I had like 100K at one point. And then I just like skyrocketed because he was posting every single day. Wow. So people just kind of gravitated towards me and they were like, oh, we really like a la, I guess. And then that's how that happened.

But so yeah, that was a point in my life. I don't think anyone posts every day anymore. I feel like every day posting point in my life. I don't think anyone posts everyday anymore. I feel like every day posting is like, I don't know anyone that does it anymore. Are you on TikTok though? I feel like you're saying we're talking different. We're talking different. Two talkers that do that literally every day.

I'm like, I don't know how you do it. It's way easier to do that. I feel like you too, but that's harder. I don't know if anyone posts it on YouTube every day. I just watched the, like the Jake Paul documentary on Netflix and they're talking about this like competitive rivalry that they had. Like was that weird being the assistant like did you ever get this vibe of like man these like these brothers are like so competitive like they just are always

trying to offer camera. Really? I mean majority of the time they love each other you know like their their brothers and a lot of times like they would have phone calls before videos would happen being like okay I'm gonna do this and you're gonna act like this and you're gonna act like this and blah, blah, blah. And then it looks like a rivalry online, but realistically, they were fine, they were friends. I don't, maybe, I don't really know,

maybe there was times when it was actually real, but as far as what I saw, it was a lot of just planned out things. That makes me feel better. We actually got in like an argument when we watched a documentary. Oh yeah. We have two boys.

And so I was like, Matt, never let our boys be competitive. Like they can be competitive. He's like, well, I think competition's good. I was like, I don't know what you. They were, they were brought. They were for sure. Yeah. On the same page, they weren't trying

to really hurt each other. That's good. Because I was like, you can, they can be competitive with anybody else in the world, but not your brother. Like that has to be your right or die. I don't think you get it though, because I have two brothers and we were competitive, but we still love each other and we care about each other.

But like, you just compete with your brothers. That's what you do. And you wrestle and you beat each other up. And sometimes you hate each other as brothers. As your sisters at my brother. Yeah, I have two older brothers, the half brothers, and they were fighting. They were wrestling and like, you're competitive.

And one of my brothers says, help. And I was super young at the time. I just grabbed scissors and I threw up scissors. I threw up scissors to like think I would help and it hit him and like my hands like oh frick yeah it was cold. I chucked a ping pong battle. My brother crushed me in ping pong and I was so mad. I threw a ping pong battle at him. I think I was like 13 or 14 and they're still a dent in our wall where the ping pong pad was. Oh I didn't know that. I was like, I'm gonna hit or something. No, not on him.

Not on him. It's gonna be so sad when they have their first fight. It'll end up all day. It'll end up all day. It'll end up all day. It'll end up all day. It'll end up all day. It'll end up all day.

It'll end up all day. It'll end up all day. It'll end up all day. It'll end up all day. It'll end up all day. It'll end up all day. It'll end up all day. It'll end up all day. It'll end up all day. I just want to be on the same team. But even you and your brother were like arch enemies and now you're best friend. Like now you guys are getting along. That's true. Yeah. We also had fights on ping pong.

I feel like every sibling, I mean, I used to be so annoyed with my brothers. Like I would always be like, mom, this brother did this, this like, and now, I don't know, we're all so close, like it's so nice. I feel like it's just, yeah, it's just. Seeing like the Logan Paul videos and how like wild things were, like did you ever expect that dude would get married?

Because I just like I saw that he got engaged and I just thought that was so like I was like oh wow He's like he's he's gonna be Rope roped up. What's the what's the word? Locked up locked up ball and chain a ball and chance ever to ball and chain Tie down tie down There we go Leave it to you to mess up. I'm sorry. Yeah, I can't remember stuff.

I don't know. I guess, yeah, I don't know. I feel like we're all just getting older. Everyone's very weird to, yeah. Everyone's so churring. You know what I'm saying? And I feel like, maybe you watch YouTubers back in the day, and regardless of just him, there's so many you just like you envision them a certain way.

And so when when people are getting older and you know, like they're having kids or they're getting married, it's almost like hard to understand. You're like, wait, what? Like, you have this vision of them when you grow up watching them or like you see like a couple videos of them. Like you see them a certain way and then you hear that they're having a baby you know like yeah that wasn't part of what I was like envisioning so yeah baby people were even shocked when like you know Kean got a offer stop. I mean I was having a baby you know I mean like obviously everyone was so happy for us but like there was so many comments of people being like,

I've been watching Key and since I was like 13 or whatever, and it's so insane to me that you're having, like you're gonna be a dad, you know? So I feel like that's just like life, but it's cool because then you get to see like everyone's, like other people, we just grow up, you know? We like get more mature and this is what happens. So yeah, I think it's really cool that he's getting married.

I feel like it's, I'm happy that he's like maturing into that life. Like that's, I don't know, we all should be, right? Yeah. Or I don't know. And like long that same mindset growing up, Kean, did you ever see yourself being a dad or was, did this come out of nowhere?

You're just like, oh, okay, this is happening. I'm a father, like I'm about to be a father. That's what I was gonna say. I just, I feel like I keep cutting her off. I feel bad. People say, oh, I grew up watching Key and it's so weird to like see him become a dad. Yeah.

I looked at myself in the mirror and I thought that. It's just weird. Yeah. It's like growing up when I was like a teenager. I hit 21 years old and I was like 21. Like, I could drink. Like, I'm not supposed to be 21. I don't feel 21.

It's like, yeah. That's how I felt about being a dad. I was like, I can drink, I'm not supposed to be 21, I don't feel 21, it's like. That's how I felt about being a dad. I was like, I can do this. I'm gonna be a dad, it's just so weird. I grew up thinking this thing of thinking like a certain way about myself, and then I found that I can like explore new things and become a dad or have a serious relationship

by a house and start a family. It's like, I never thought that would be a thing for me, but it is. Yeah, I think this is also, it scares us too. So I feel like, I don't know. I mean, even when we found out we were pregnant, we were scared. Absolutely. I was scared.

Absolutely. Was that something you talked about for a while? Or was it just like, oh, maybe it's on the way. Was it planned? We had both ways. We had both ways happen to be. Yeah, oh my gosh. The second one was on planned.

Yeah. That's the video I saw I told them that's the first thing I saw was them in the bathroom Abby crying I think you were like just woken up or something yeah I woke him up I was so tired I was like get in here yeah yeah I know I was like man I could have made it like a cute thing telling him but I was so and I was like just getting here and tell me if this is positive. That's the first time I saw you guys. No, I think that's like, I love that you filmed that because that's just so realistic. I mean, I kind of wish that I filmed,

but I didn't know. I kind of just took a test in my head because I was like, already late on my period. And I've been late before and I was talking to my sister about it. I didn't let him know because I had done that before where I'd like let him know I'm late. And then he a little excited one time he was like oh really like you think he's like okay like that That could be kind of cool, you know

Sorry, I'm eating Pringles right now. I was gonna away from the microphone and then like everybody started looking at me He is like give me one He and Loki was like can we get some snacks? He was able to eat He was totally far. He started filming. I'm telling you, you gotta try it. Bro, we get cookies right now. Did you try one?

I had two of those. They're so good. They're vanilla wafers, but they're a little bit better. We have a new sponsor now. No, it's the vanilla wafers. Literally none of these. No, this is a sponsor. We just aren't used.

I know. Yeah, Pringles, can you sponsor us? Thank you. I'm so sorry. You were like saying a really serious day. I'm really on the edge of my seat. And are I know yeah Pringles. Can you sponsor us? Thank you? I'm so sorry you were like saying a really serious day on the edge of my seat and I just started eating Pringles So like please let's go back. Yeah, basically So I didn't talk Ian because the last time he got excited and then it was like a let down because I was like Oh, no, well wasn't a let down. It was more of just like I was But it was because we were like kind of trying for a little bit

We like downloaded it's happened. I was like, oh you missed a period by three days Like, yeah, so I was like, okay, okay? Maybe this is it. Yeah, and then it wasn't so I was like, oh my god, that dumb app like I just don't I Don't want to do this anymore. Yeah, so then the next time when it happened I was like, okay, I'm not gonna say anything I'm just gonna see if it's late again because maybe I'm just off and I was telling my sister and my sister was like wait till you're like eight days late you know and I was like okay okay okay I was on basically my seventh day and I was like and I still don't have anything I was also feeling like little things that were kind of weird I slept one day, like fully in the afternoon,

like a hard sleep, not just like a little nap, like I was out and that was kind of weird for me and I was like, okay, but we were going to New York because he and his best friend, JC, boyfriend. Best friend, yeah, boyfriend and girlfriend, I'm expecting him and my girlfriend. He'm a girlfriend. I'm a girlfriend. Yeah, boyfriend and girlfriend. I'm a spectrum of my girlfriend. You guys got all these people on your phone. No, they were doing a pop-up shop for their brand.

And I knew we would get there and there'd probably be like champagne to toast and all these things. And I was like, okay, I feel like I should take it now just so I can like ease my mind. I literally was, I think I was in a Christmas onesie in February. I was just like. Oh, the red one?

Yeah, I'm literally just like not even paying attention to what's happening, but we had pregnancy tests in the house already, so I just took one. And I took it, went outside, sat outside for a little bit, and then I saw a key and walking into the bathroom. I was like, what are you doing? He's like, going to the bathroom, and I was like, okay, wait, I left something in there.

Can I just go in there real quick? So I went into the bathroom, and I flipped it over, and it was not like a faint line. Like it was like, okay, wait, I love something in there. Can I just go on the rope? So I went into the bathroom and I flipped it over and it was not like a faint line. Like it was like line, line. Like you are pregnant. Like there's no chance. Yeah, just said yes. And I was literally just like, like, wait, what?

Cause you just don't expect it to be real. You just expect it to be another like, Oh, I'm gonna sleep. On a body experience. Yeah, even if you're like trying to know what's a possibility. Yeah, and I like, I'm not going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to be a person who's going to I think you're fun, exciting, and then I'll, I was like, I can't even walk out of the bathroom right now with a hyperventilating. So I just called him in, and I propped up my phone, and I showed him the test, and... I hate my reaction.

Yeah, his reaction. You say you agree with my, I hate my reaction. Well, you're reaction. You hate it too. I don't hate it, but it's just funny, because it's not, it's not what people would think, you know. It's like, he's... He stares at this thing for no joke like 20 minutes and doesn't say a word. He's just like, okay. He's like, whoa, there's like one minute.

Sure, and he's like, hold on. He goes, is this real? And then he keeps staring at it. And I'm like sitting there talking my mouth off. I'm like, oh, yeah, I had this. And I'm panicking and he's like, are you sure? Is this real? And I'm like, yeah. Are you sure this is real? And I'm like, yeah. Like, you've been shocked. It's just so weird to like talk about something. And then like, hear stories about your friends or your parents saying like pregnancy, like you hear it everywhere

and you know, whether it's a lot or a little like, you just hear about pregnancy and talk about it. But the second it happens, it's just a whole different feeling. So I think I got like a wave of too many emotions that it just like froze. Yeah, I think I know what to do. It's weird because like when you find out,

it's like you find out and it's happening right now. Like it's already been happening. Yeah, for sure. And you're like, wait, what? Yeah, I was pregnant then. I was pregnant yesterday didn't even know it. Like, it's weird. When we found out were you like seven weeks, six weeks, five?

I think it was four. I think it was five. I think it was five or five or six. It is weird to think that like at that point, you have been pregnant for five weeks. We knew when it happened too, because we had this vacation that we had taken, and it was it. We were like, oh my god, it literally happened on that vacation, because we also have this friend of ours who has pregnant and she told us to rub her tummy and we were like, ha ha, okay. We literally weren't dead.

That's why our friends were like, rub the tummy, rub the baby, like I promise you, it's good luck. That's so funny. And we got pregnant, I was like, can't. Keep in mind that you have to leave in this. I don't think that you actually believe that rubbing the belly made it out.

Absolutely not. I believe that when women hang out with, I don't think this happened with her and I, because it was just too, maybe it did, I don't know, but I think when women hang out with other women who are pregnant or have, like, their hormones start connecting, just like, you guys probably don't know, but when periods connect, you know,

you hang out with your friends, like they sink, I think that also happens with pregnant women. So I always feel like, you know, you know, you go friends, like they think, I think that also happens with pregnant women. So I always feel like, you know, yeah. What's gonna happen here then? She's two babies, we have one on the way. What's gonna happen after we do that? Get away from us. We're getting like freaky Friday or something.

Oh my god. Like, share information. I don't know, but I do believe in that part. Were your parents pretty excited? Yeah, so the parents were kind of like, because it was semi unplanned for us, it was like we're trying and then we kind of gave up and then it worked and we're like,

whoa, okay, so it just took everyone by surprise, I think. Yeah. My mom was very excited, but it was kind of like a delayed excitement. Yeah, because I think no one, I mean, we didn't even live together yet. Really? Yeah.

We didn't live together. We're not obviously like married or anything. We've been together for four years, but like you know five No, he and 2019 four years. Thank you so much. I'm really worried that you didn't know No more talking for Okay, yeah No more talking for I was just yeah, I literally never know what year it is though to be honest. I always put 2022 I don't know it's been 23 for a while sometimes I do have to look it up and stop counting you know Because we 19 plus four is like three four four and a half months five months because we met

beginning five months because we met beginning. Not me in 18. Oh. But wait, hold up. See, you weren't living together. Had you lived together before? Or was this? Yes.

Oh, you had. Yeah, but it was during COVID, it like didn't. We didn't work out. We broke up. Yeah, it was not good. So like we don't, long so short, we tried it, then it worked out. Like our relationship was going good.

We've obviously had bumps and like, I think we're going through a time where we're like, what is going on? Are we going to continue this? Like a re on and up? Are we on a through a time where what is going on? Are we going to continue this? Like a re on and up or we on a down? Like what's going on? And then we're going through therapy and then we find out we're pregnant and then we just like to start it. That was a very quick.

Full throttle it. Yeah, but like I just really quick when we were living together, we had so much outside stuff happen that kind of affected our relationship as well. And we weren't really connecting on a level that we know how to now, that we've matured and gone older. We were kind of like, if one of us was upset, we would just stay silent.

And we would like separate. Literally in our apartment, we would just not talk to each other for a little bit, is the worst thing. There was a game room, and then there was our room, and then I had my best friend living with us too, so there was her room. Okay.

And he, at one point, he just always stayed in that room and I stayed in our room and we didn't even talk. And then I would talk with my best friend and then it was just so bad. Plus COVID. Couldn't leave. COVID happened. His best friend had passed away.

Like there was, you know, then the Black Lives Matter and like it was right in front of our apartment, there was riots constantly. It was just so much stuff had happened, and I feel like we had forgotten about our relationship. We were just focused on everything else that was happening, and it just separated us so bad. So it pulled like a really sour taste in our mouth

of like, can we ever live together again? Cause we don't wanna go through that. And then I started to feel like a little bit, when we were getting better, maybe we can live together again? Because we don't want to go through that. And then I started to feel like a little bit, you know, when we were getting better, like maybe we can live together again. Like maybe that's a thing, but you know, and then Kim was still a little hesitant on it, hence the reason why we were kind of like,

I think in therapy at that point, just trying to like figure out ourselves. But everything just like worked out perfectly. I feel like sometimes it's really hard to base a relationship off the beginning phases because you go through so much and I believe that like I'm I think for can do We just know each other so well now and we know how to like communicate in a healthy way. Oh for sure

Where you got to me have to learn to do where you guys broken up like still living together And that's why you were in the separate rooms? Or is that just like were you guys refiguring out, okay, how do we move forward right now because this is something that you didn't foresee? We weren't even talking, we didn't even break up. We were just in this apartment and not talking, not broken up, just like separate.

Yeah, we both had like two heart of heads to be like, we should fix this. Yeah, we were just about to go to bed. Go to bed silent and wake up. Helping us. One of us was gonna say something and then both of us, our egos were like. It's just really weird.

Yeah, COVID was very, it like accentuated a lot and like helped a lot of other things or a lot of relationships for us, it did the opposite. And I know it did, you know, the opposite for a lot of different people, everyone's different but for us it for sure didn't help. Typically like there's like a fighter and a fighter like how would you ask to subscribe your relationship and that. She's both. She's both.

She'll start it and then and then not finish it. Oh my gosh. What the hell is happening? She'll start it in the non-finishing. Yeah, she brings up love and then I'm like, well we we gotta talk about this right now. She's like, no. No. Yeah. I've gotten better at that. She is both. I've gone better than I used to bring up issues.

And then he'd be like, she loves you. He would be like, I want to talk about this right now and fix it. And I'm like, I don't want to be around you right now. Like, I need to leave. I need you to leave me alone. And he couldn't understand that at first. He was like, well, I feel like we shouldn't leave this room

until it's fixed. I was like, if you don't leave this room, it will not be fixed, because I need my space. And then she's like, she's so, or maybe not now, but she used to be able to fall asleep like while being upset. Oh yeah, he's like that. And she just be like, I don't wanna be around you.

And it's like fall asleep within a minute and like, I'm like, laying in bed just like. That's the corner of my freaking house. Me, I literally like Matt, how are you sleeping right now? I, like, we are up there. Yeah, okay. I'm sorry. We're, if it's really, if it's really,

wake up. So let me just paint a picture. If it's 3 a.m., and you're not getting along, guess what? If you go to bed, when you're no longer tired, it's going to be way easier to resume. I'm going to bed when you're no longer tired. What does that even mean? I'm late there. No, no, no, no, I'm saying you just go to bed when you're no longer tired, it's gonna be way easier to resume. Go to bed when you're no longer tired. What does that even mean? I'm late there.

No, no, no, I'm saying I'm saying you just go to sleep, right? You get a fresh start into new day and then you can have a cordal conversation, no raising of voices. I can't even leave. I'm so upset. I don't know how to do that now. Right, I mean, think change.

I'm so upset. Perfectly fine. It sounds like he's upset. So it sounds like you're the fighter then, would you describe yourself as the fighter since you're like, let's not leave the room until I just wanna make sure. Back in the day, yeah. I just wanna make sure we're going to bed,

like in a good mood, so we'll wake up in a good mood. Yeah, we're in a bad mood, my blood is like, at a temperature of, you boil ramen in it. And she's like, let's talk about tomorrow. I'm like, dude, what? I can't sleep right now. That's me, I'm not in the mood. I'm like, dude, what? I can't sleep right now. That's me. What are you doing?

I was like, I just thought this was a female thing. Walks upstairs, you're like, yeah, I can't fall asleep in that mindset. No, because the next day, and then I always get myself, because I'm like, gosh dang it, Abby still pissed off. And the sweet happy, he wakes up. And I'm like, today's a great day. I literally do remember what the fight was about last night.

Like, this is great. As I was, let's get to the mom. No, I wake up in moods. Still. Mm-hmm, dude. OK, well, basically, OK, I also feel like we're just driving, we're describing things that was more in the past. For sure.

We don't really fight too much now. We don't really fight now. He annoys me every single day. You ready for your challenge? It's not like to the point where we're not fighting. I'm just like you're annoying. And he's like, I know. And then we agree.

And then we just move on. Like I said, I have two jobs. Yeah. One of them is to annoy Aela. And I feel like he loves it. Sometimes I push buttons. And by the end of the day, let's say I have 10 buttons, I can press. Sometimes I like to push that 11th and then it's just

a little extra, but most of the time. That one tips it over. Most of the time it's like, I get to 10 and I know when to stop. You're like, I've reached the point, I'm gonna back up. It's like his ball each day to hit the 10 button. She just does, yeah, she'll give me that little like, I'm like, you're like, that's enough.

Yeah, I love pushing her buttons, that's the me like that little like, I'm like. You're like, that's enough. Yeah, I love pushing our buttons, that's the best. When you guys parted ways though, did you have any intention of getting back together? Um. The first time I for sure wanted to get back with him, I was like, incredibly devastated. I cried almost all the time.

I was like, because at first I was like, okay, this is good for us. We both, we like, had a healthy talk. We individually came to each other and we're like, this isn't working out. We should probably separate and we nicely talked about it but there was no fight. We were a little we cried and we were just kind of like yeah it sucks that like we love each other but like this isn't working. This is when you were living together. Yeah and then he moved out and I would say yeah

and I would say after the first two weeks then when the second week hit I was like oh my god like I think I made a big mistake ever. Like I should have fought more, like I should have done something. And I think he was still fine because he was kind of like in this, you know, phase of being like, okay, like, a weight off my shoulder, like I'm only have to take care of myself now, like I'm figuring out my life. And I was like, oh my god, like he's moving on, like I'm crying, I'm I'm breaking out. I didn't have that effect on people. Relax.

So I don't know. For me, the first time, I knew I wanted to get back together with you 100%. Same. The second time was a little different. I think we both had the same. Oh, we broke up too. It's bad anyway.

You broke up too. Oh, seriously, first and the second time. The first one was like, they were both for sure, for sure. But the second time was like, we really thought the second one was for real, for real. Oh, me. We thought we were done. We thought it was like, they were both for sure, for sure, but the second time was like, we really thought the second one was for real for real. Yeah, we thought we were done. Or we thought it was like, for real, we're done. But then that's when I came crying back, and I was like, dude, I need you.

There was times where I was supposed to be filming videos, and I just could not do it. I would be driving to film a YouTube video with my friend, and I'd literally, specifically, one time, I can remember, I got like, to his doorstep. I couldn't get out of the car, I just drove back home, I can remember, I got like two his doorstep, I couldn't get out of the car, I just drove back home as a guy, as I can't film today. But yeah, I for sure just came crying back and luckily she took me back.

And ever since then, it's like, It's just a time for me to realize how great I am. Were you the one then who like was really like, no, we need to break up the second time around and then you realize you made a mistake? I really was a made a mistake, but it took some time to realize that like, she's the only one for me.

What was that moment? Like was that was the moment going to film the video and you got to the doorstep and you're like, I literally can't do this today because I'm so regretful. That was the moment, that was a big moment, but that wasn't the moment I was like, I need her back. I just think it's kind of like the saying,

you know the value of something when it's gone. Yeah. Or like something something like that. But yeah, I just knew like she was the best thing I've ever's gone. Or like something like that. But yeah, I just knew like she was the best thing I've ever had and how can I let that go. Like I've seen myself with anybody else. I don't want her to be with anybody else. I've gone.

I think also since I was, because the second time I was doing fine, like I kind of was like I mentally told myself like this is it. So I like, I fully let myself kind of like move on. And like first time I didn't. The first time I was like obsessed with him, I was like, if he called me, I was, hello, like, you know,

just waiting for him. And then I think maybe that was probably a little scary too, was like, you know, knowing that I was kind of like, okay, well, this one was it, right? Well, yeah, but I thought the second one was it too, it just took me a little bit more time. Yeah. I don't know. It's like a weird thing, but I thought the second one was it too. It just took me a little bit more time. Yeah, I don't know I don't know it's a weird thing, but you you also needed your own space to kind of figure out your life, you know Yeah, I deal with anxiety. I just deal with like generalizing anxiety

GAD. I don't know. Yes, generalizing anxiety to sort of like it could happen anywhere anytime It could be a lot a little like it could be whatever It's just a lot. And then at that point, I was like, I'm just dealing with so much. Like, I feel like I have to, like, take care of myself before I can, like, I have to love myself before I can love someone else.

And at that point, I was just like, I feel like mentally I was declining and I had to like, let go of stuff. And it sounds so sad now, but like, I think it helped us in the end that that we kind of took that step back. I think it made our bond even stronger. Was that a clean break, or did you guys date in between dating each other, or how did all that work out

between the two breakups? Like clean break. Like did you guys, were you like, okay, we're broken up, but like then you'd like, go see each other, like still text each other, or I don't know, it was like, it was, we, when we break up, we break up. Like we don't talk. The first time I feel like we had to talk a little bit because of the dogs and the first one was kind of like, we still had stuff to deal with because we were, like, we had the

same apartment and we had to kind of like and we had to talk about that stuff. The second one was like a clean break. Like we didn't talk for a long time. Yeah, though until. How long was that if you don't mind me asking? It was like two, three months. It was three months, right? I was gonna say six.

Keen, what the second time? It was a long month. It was a lot of months. It was like three months. It felt like one of months. It was like three months. It was like three months. It was like three months. Yeah. Yeah, I felt like forever without you. Forever without you. This episode is sponsored by Caraway Homes. Matt guess what's for dinner tonight.

What? Pumpkin Chili again. Really? Pumpkin Chili. Do you love it? I actually do like your pumpkin chili. It's literally my favorite fall recipe. I've made this since our first year of marriage. So it's like our fall tradition It's so cozy so seasonal so delicious and I pair with some beer bread. It's amazing But I'm extra excited tonight because we are using our caraway homes pots and pans We have the gorgeous silk green with the gold hardware It looks beautiful in our kitchen

What's great about these pots and pans is that there's no PFA s, PTFE, PFOA. I don't know what that is. I really honestly don't know what that is. But just know that it's toxic. You don't want that on your pots and pans. It has none of that or any of the other chemicals you can't name so you can feel good about using them. And plus, Matt no longer has the excuse that he needs to soak the pans in the sink you know how you do that. I do like to soak the pans. If you're cleaning up from dinner like all those are soaking. Well you got to soak them because oftentimes it gets dry in there and then Abby won't soak this stuff so I just like if you have a smoothie cup you got to soak that. Matt those are the old pots and pans you don't have to soak the

caraway homes once because they're super easy to clean off and you also also, when you're cooking, you don't have to use a ton of butter or ton of oil because they just have a great non-stick surface. That's actually amazing. Over 50,000 people have raved about their caraway kitchens. So now it's time for you to try it from yourself. I know you get the Instagram ads because I got them too and I was like, I want those pans. Those are beautiful. Now we have them and I'm obsessed. So visit CarawayHome.com slash unplanned, take advantage of this limited time offer, per 10% off your next purchase.

Wow. This deal is exclusive for our listeners. So visit CarawayHome.com slash unplanned or use code unplanned all caps at checkout. Caraway non-toxic cookware made modern. Wait, I'm actually curious just to, I wanted to ask you guys, yeah. You guys ever broken up? We actually did.

We never, we actually never did. So you just have like ducked out like. We've been together. High school. 17 and 18 is when we went on our first date. Okay, if you don't mind me asking how old are you guys now? 25 or 24? Yeah, 24 and 24.

So you guys have been together, do the math seven years. Wait, no, we should have looked at the years. Seven years. No, we should have lived here. Seven years. We should have lived here. We should have lived here. We should have lived here. Yeah, that's not nice. I don't like it when people have me do math.

18 to 25 boom. Nine years. I'm just like, I stop. I'm just like, I stop. I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just always, you know, because sometimes, you know, for us breakups, our breakups were so necessary in our relationship because we really needed to figure out each other, we needed to figure out ourselves individually and we still had a lot to work on.

He needed to work on, you know, that, like he said himself, his work, his anxiety. I honestly feel like I worked on being more, like letting my ego go with our relationship. I was way more, like I feel like I worked on being more understand, like letting my ego go with our relationship. I was way more, like I feel like I was kind of hard headed in the beginning. I understand him now, like I know when he needs space. It's not like he's mad, he just needs to be like.

It's not personal. It's like, you have to, you have to like, kind of realize that, like we're separate people. Although we're together, we're separate people and we have our own separate needs, our own separate desires and this and this and this. So like, I've just, I've kind of made it a thing where like I separate my anxiety now

and she's so like amazing that she knows when I have anxiety, it's not about her, it's not about her, but it's not against her. I don't have anxiety because of her, she's not the problem. Nothing's the problem. It's me if anything, but you know, she's not the problem, not things the problem is me if anything, but she's just so great

when it comes down to just giving me my time and letting me deal with it by myself because I hate, for my anxiety, if I'm with anybody, it makes it so much worse. I have to leave it by myself. I lock myself in a room by myself. I'd be like try to talk to him or calm him down or whatever, it makes it worse.

You just gotta let him do his thing and then you just let him do his thing and then you just let him know you're there. But like don't, don't like try to be like, what can I do? Is it true today? I can relate to that though, because sometimes Abby, like she can tell if I'm really anxious

because she's really quiet. Oh yeah. People don't notice, but she knows. No, it's not your quiet. It's literally, I can tell by, if I look in the eyes, I can tell when you're going, like, what do my eyeballs do? Like is it a look? It's like, they start going in this way. You just in the eyes, I can tell when you're going like, what do my eyeballs do? Like, is it a look?

It's like, they're starting to like, you just go cross high, you can't. Yeah, but you know, and you're like, are you doing, I'm like, shut up, I'm like, or cuz it's kind of like, I'm working through it, dude,

stop asking me about my anxiety. I think I would wanna talk it out. I'm trying to fake through it for sure. I'm trying to fake it till I make it, baby. I'm trying to like, it's like I don't have it. If you're sick, if you're like, sick sick and someone goes up there and like, you don't look so good, you're like, you're like I don't have it. If you're sick, if you're like sick sick and someone goes up there and like,

you don't look so good, you're like, you're making it worse. Thank you for like realizing, but they're like, oh, do you need something? Like I can go to the store for you. Do you need, and you're like, just leave me alone. Like I feel like crap. Anxiety is the same thing for me.

If she's like, oh my God, are you okay? Like, are you freaking out? Is your heart being really fast? And you can't, like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, what? No, just leave it. So I just,

I just learned like, I just need to be alone. I had a friend which by the way, I, I don't know if you've done this, but like I still have yet to like, talk to a therapist about anxiety or like, get on medication or whatever, but like, it got better after, that's why I was interested in what you said

about your anxiety journey, because with me, whatever reason like being with Abby really helped, I felt like I could just like totally be horrible with somebody. But not talking about it. Not talking about it. Just seeing it like you. Just like having, I think just falling in love,

like took me out of that. For sure. It was able to like transport me out of that like dark place because I used to be like a blade at night with like a lot of pressure in my chest And I can't sleep in high school and stuff But and I didn't tell anybody because I was I didn't want to be I don't want to seem vulnerable or weak opening up is The best medicine. Yeah, I've taken medicine and I've talked to therapy

I've done every I hate anxiety so I've done everything that could possibly do to not to cope with it Yeah, and just low opening up is the best thing I've ever done, is the best medicine, especially as selfish as it sounds, hearing that other people have anxiety like I do, like I don't wish it upon anybody, but hearing that people struggle with it, how I do, just makes me feel like I'm not alone, makes me feel good, and like we talk about our struggles,

and like how we cope with them differently, and like dude, try this, if like how we cope with them differently and like dude try this. If it doesn't work, oh you should try this. Yeah. Yeah. So a buddy told me he was like a therapist told my friend that if he just like looks anxiety in the face so to speak and is like hi anxiety hello like acknowledge that it's there but don't give it any energy. Yeah. He was like that really helped me and like And that helped me too. Because I think a lot of times it's like, I tried to try to be the macho,

like nothing can stop me. I'm like, I love this. Like you try to just like muscle through it and then it's worse. Like you're like giving it energy. Yeah, you could do it for a little bit, but you know, it's there. And you can't make it go away just by like being a tough man,

like whatever. You got to deal with it. So I think like not giving it the energy just like looking at dead in the face and just being like, you know, I know you're there, but you're not like. I feel like it's even hard as a partner sometimes. Like, I don't know if you've ever felt this way, but like, it was really hard for me to learn how to navigate around his anxiety.

Because, you know, initially you think if someone's going through anxiety, what should I do? I should like be there for them, ask them if I can help try to like do something to comfort them and It was just so hard because everyone's anxiety is so different. So it's like I had to learn that that's not Necessarily what he wants. He wants to know that I'm there and if he needs me I'm around but like just being too invasive or trying to like do what the what can I get you Like do you need something like can I scratch your back? Can I do all these things? It was just like I will always take that okay. Well the scratching bat even no

He'll take it if he unless he's like feeling hot then he'll be like don't touch me. Oh, I hate being hot Yeah, but I don't know I feel like I always used to take it as like, you just don't love me. Like you just don't want me around. Like if you're feeling stressed, you should want the person you want. Like you love to be next to you, to be like helping you.

And I like learned over time that it has nothing to do with me or anyone else. It's severely just like his brain and like his emotions trying to like fight each other to calm down, but it's like this. Well it's like how you said, like you wanna do nothing but help me. Right, but that was too much for you. And I used to think you didn't, like,

I used to be like, okay, you just don't, like, you don't like, you're mad at me, you don't love me, like whatever. Oh, we have in a moment, right now? I know, yeah. And then I realized, like, okay, wait, it's not me. Because help comes in different shapes and forms. Right.

You said you wanna help me. You are helping me weigh more by not doing what you want to do. I know. So help just comes in like, yeah. And you have helped me like more than you'll ever know. Oh, God, I'm so sweet. That's so sweet. You know what I mean?

That's really, really fun. I mean, yeah, you've talked more than you ever know. If like, when you just take a step back and kind of like, hear how other people like work are like, yeah, she's, you know, she's like my rock. Do you, okay, so like, that is really, really sweet. I might cry. Me too.

My tear up a little bit. Look at me, I'm like. Don't do it, I can't. I think it's all this water I'm drinking. I did, it's, it's overflowing in my eyes. He gets emotional. When you isolate yourself and kind of go off to deal with it on your own, do you meditate? Do you go to work as an escape?

Is there something that you do that helps calm your nerves and helps you fight through it? I mean, the word escape is just like the best thing in the world. Like everything I do is an escape. So, I mean, it just, it depends really. Like, if I go in, if I play like a game, it'll make me feel better. If I go in and like, you know, if I can just like take my mind off

of whatever's going on, whatever I do, it just helps. So if I'm in a room alone, with no one kind of like, you know, saying, what do you need? Do you need to think, are you good or you good? Like if I'm just in a room alone, playing a game, reading a book, texting my friends, it, I don't know. Just something about being alone. So there's nothing specific, I guess.

And do you guys think, because I noticed you're saying, yeah, we needed like with the first breakup, you were like, you know, that'll happen. I was curious, did you think, did you like move in together too soon? Or, yeah, I guess that's the question if you move in. We could have, honestly, I don't know if it was that we did it too soon.

We'd been together for about a year already, maybe a little bit over a year. And we felt like we were ready. I think it was time. Maybe we could have waited a little bit longer. I also think it was just, you know, the situation. I also had my best friend come live with us. So it wasn't like we were getting the, you know, him and I moving in on a place together.

It was like we also had another person. So there was, there was, and then my sister came to live with us. I just feel like there was so many things, like I kept saying so many outside things that happened, that really just affected our relationship. And instead of us being mature about it, and looking at it as like, okay, we are not the problem. It's all these other things. Let's try to come together and really work on us.

We let everything affect it, and then we just were like, we don't work. I think a therapist told us like, was it a therapist? Maybe. That you want the problem, I'm not the problem, the problem is here and we're fighting towards like the resolution, we're fighting together against the problem. But in my head, we were the problem. Yeah, I was either wrong or you were wrong or there's something wrong with how you think or something wrong.

I think, but like in reality it's not in reality, it's not how we think. It's like we have to kind of come together and work together on like getting this issue out of the way. But for the longest time, it was either I'm the problem or she's the problem. And it was just hard to navigate that. We're also very different people. Like we are a completely different. Completely. Like he is introverted at home body.

Um, I like to party. With your butt. Yeah, on Fortnite, like alone in that room. That's crazy. That is crazy. That is crazy. That's fighting words. You, you, you, you play mine.

Do you play minecraft? I don't. So there's a couple big games that like everyone talks about that is haven't gotten into yet. Yeah, but mine. Please don't get him into it. I don't know.'s a couple big games that like everyone talks about that is haven't gotten into yet. Yeah, but please don't get him into it I don't know I was still play today. I think it's so much fun But when I was in seventh grade me my buddies would Skype and play Minecraft. Oh Skype. That's a so late He was so So much fun back

Bro, yeah Skype with your buddies while you're gaming. Yeah, well, I mean now it's it's a thing called discord. Oh, I'm sure of this Yeah, discord. It's just I love that you said you've heard of it I don't know what this is. I don't game. I'm not a gamer. Don't get into it It's just get into it. It'll take over your life And then it'll take over your life. I can use a little bit more time Well, you'll find us out really soon when you're a dad and just don't have time I think we'll actually know what you have time for whatever you make time for. So like, obviously, being in,

that's good actually. Thank you, baby. That's on the podcast. We repeat that again. Yeah, I'm gonna manage your time. How are you gonna manage your time? Yeah, let us know. No, but all I'm saying is, yeah,

whatever you make time for, you have for it, that's that sound. That's better than the first test. Let's cut that out. I'm just, we can keep it in. We want to be like real relatable, you know? So, I'm gonna stop. Oh, we got the full name right there too.

Matthew James. Matthew James, when I say something. Matthew James, when it's like, what is that? No, but like when you're a dad, it just sucks up so much of your time. But you can still find pockets of joy and the things that you did before, for sure. But it's just not like you can't do it all, right? You pockets of joy and the things that you did before for sure For sure, but it's it's just not like you can't you can't do it all right

You don't have all the time it's like if you want a game you can still game But like maybe if you also would like skateboard and I don't know what else you like to do it while you have like That's right So I'm like I'm making music now. He'll help me sure he can find a way to get on that computer No, actually that's you totally double, like multitask because I'll write songs and hop on a call with a producer and make music, so I'm trying to make music and grow a following on Spotify.

Well, it's weird. And I'm like, baby. I'm doing that. And I'm like, during these calls, dude, I'm like on a three hour song, right? And I'm just like, rock in my kid. And then my other son will come in and be like, Oh, dad!

And then I'll pick him up. And I'm still trying to write songs. It's distracting, but it's also like, oh, dad. And then like I'll pick him up and I'm like still like trying to write songs. It's distracting, but it's also really fun. You're making me feel like I can shred seven hours of Fortnite with a kid. It's just me. Oh, the point of the talk.

Oh, I'm still so curious. How did you get from the point of like you're broken up? You get back together then to the baby conversation. Because you said like this was like something you're broken up, you get back together then to the baby conversation. Cause you said like this was like, something you were talking about before. It's just like a lot of time that cut you off. Sorry. I didn't even say anything.

I was, you know me. I heard the beginning of it. I was instantly start talking. You had a thought. Yeah, she did the butt. She's like, dude, she's like,

no, go ahead. You can say your piece and then I'll figure out if I need to butt in. Honestly, it's just time. Like there's so much time that passes. We've been together for figure out if I need to butt in. Honestly, it's just time. There's so much time that passes. We've been together for four years. I want to say five. A lot of time has passed and we realize we're both humans.

We're both adults. We go through things. There's a lot of time that passed and I've realized my love for her has just grown so much. We want to continue that and I guess spread it. Yeah, there wasn't necessarily a specific talk of being like, hey, we should talk and figure out do we want kids. It was more of like, one thing.

Well, yeah, we both want kids, but we were never thinking like, okay, let's do it at this time at this age or whatever. And it was more of, I had a scare. I thought I was pregnant. and then we were in the car heading to the store to get a pregnancy test and see if I was pregnant or just bloated and turns out I was just bloated.

But Kean was like, I remember we were in the car and he was like, I think it'd be kind of cool if you were pregnant and I was like, wait, what? That's so sweet. And he's like, yeah, I think he's like, I know, it's a good, good, good, good's so sweet. And he's like, yeah, he's like, I know, it's a good, good, good, good, good, good, good. He's like, I feel like we were, it's romantic.

He's like, I feel like we're, maybe you didn't say cool, but you said something that's better. Yeah, that's it. That's the way out of kid. Yeah, it went something like that. It was kind of just like, we've talked about it, like we both wanted kids for so long and we both wanted

kind of like moving together and start our lives, like not just us, it, like we both wanted kids for so long and we both wanted to kind of like move it together and start our lives like not just us. We wanted like a little diary of talking. He also told me I can't that I have to be pregnant. We're gonna learn to get to the next kids. What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no We basically were like, so we were more, it was funny because we were more on board with having a baby than the thought of moving in together. Well, just cause this hour takes from, isn't that right? That was very serious. Isn't that weird?

COVID just ruined it for me, bruh. It was just very weird. I was like, I just don't know if we could do it again. No, we did it again. It's been absolutely the best. It's been so much. So how pregnant were you when you guys moved back in together? Uh, four months?

Three months? I would say, I'm bad with timelines. I would say it was like three and a half months. Okay, three and a half months I was pregnant. Wow. And then we moved in together because I still had to like get rid of, I had to, and my lease. And then I wanted to move in.

I was able to get out of my lease a month early because my landlord was really sweet and was kind of like I get it Your pregnant will get you out so I was able to do that but It's just so funny how we had so much Like anxiety and we were stressed like is this gonna work and then when we just did it It's like I don't know. It's just been so like mean just I mean, it's building back up though, because the baby's almost here. It's gonna hit you so hard, it's the best though.

We just got done with our baby room. Yeah, we just finished. Wow, less than a week ago. That was so much stress for me. I don't know if you guys had stress dealing with that, but like, we don't really have much of a baby room. Oh, okay. Our second baby has no room.

I was just saying, your first one you did though, right? The first one you were like. We put it together the last week or so, but they don't sleep in our room. Yeah, that's what has no room. I was just saying, your first one you did though, right? The first one you were like, we put it together the last week or so, but they don't sleep in our room. Yeah, that's what we're thinking. We're right there. I was stressed about it. It was the nesting thing though, dude.

It's the motherly instincts. Totally hormonal, because Abby was so anxious to get the baby room set up and we're at this. Randomly one day. We got this feature wall done. We paid this guy to make this nice feature wall and we made this fun theme. And it was ready. We're not planners, that's why this is called the unplanned podcast. and we made this fun theme and it was ready.

We're not planners, that's why this is called the unplanned podcast, we're like horrible about like playing this. We're a mess. I thought it was because the baby was unplanned. Yeah, it's all of the above. And you're all of the above. You guys are as a whole, it's a mess.

We're just a mess. We're a mess. But we got this done early, right? Because of the nesting Let's be real and pretty sure the only reason that you kicked it into gear at the very end is because you want to make a nursery tour on YouTube actually that is not true But yeah for our second kid though like this is just totally stereotypical second child. We literally, his room is our closet. Like, we don't have room. We don't have room for it. It's not the closet.

I feel like, but that makes sense because what everyone's been telling us is, you know, it's really fun to get the baby's room ready and you'll probably use it sometimes when you're like wanting to sit in the rocking chair and maybe for feedings, but like realistically, this baby will be in your room the whole time. So I'm kind of like. You Okto mom did it eight times.

Oh my gosh. Yeah, I do have a 10 bedroom house. A new theme every kid. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. I don't know the cheese too much. Yeah.

I don't. I don't know how the people, especially like I always thought to be fun to have twins. Like before we have to be so sick and then be so sick, and then you have a kid, and then you're like, bro, twins would be in a nightmare. Every time. It'd be so hard. I would still love to have twins,

but we don't have a boy yet, so I'm not in this stage, but I just, one is so big already. Like I'm so, if you're two in there. Yeah, I would be scared. Are you uncomfortable? I was your pregnancy, Ben. My pregnancy has been,

you know, in the beginning I was a little, I think at the beginning, if we lived together, I might have been a little bit less stressed because I think us not living together was stressed on me because emotionally, like, I needed key in there all the time and he wasn't, because he was in his, I'm so pleased how I'm pregnant. Yeah. And we also were dealing with, like, kind of a dog situation.

He had gotten his old dog back and our dog was living at my place and his dog was at his place and they didn't get along. So I wasn't even going there a lot because I was trying to separate them. So for the first couple of weeks, months, I was tired not eating because everything made me feel like gross, except for applesauce and bread and cereal. And your weird pickled juice, ramen, tuna fish. What's the next thing?

You're cravings, okay. Okay, explain this pregnancy. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, like, it soaks bread and pickle juice in the, he and us. Smear's tuna in the, oh my god, what do you say? You're making this up. What is it? You should know.

Pickled juice, tuna, bread, ramen. You're so bread. Okay, for what? I'm like, I'm a ramen. Okay. And then I take tuna out of a can and I put it in a bowl with male,

pickle juice, everything seasoning, and Parmesan cheese. I'm just saying it's you. I'm just saying it's can and I put it in a bowl with mayo, pickle juice, everything seasoning and Parmesan cheese. I'm just like, no, pickle juice. Doesn't match worst food. I'll mix it up and then I add it to my ramen. I think we're you lost me. So it's like a sauce on your noodles. It's like a tuna salad almost on my noodles without the blood.

Is this can tuna though? Yeah. Oh no, so you can't. I actually like tuna, but like can tuna, yeah oh no see can't I actually like tuna okay can tuna there's just something about that flavor and I was like a film on top of brown and digging it's like pink it's like oh yeah me I got have all of it like did you get any weird cravings on the side I always kind of wanted one because you see them on the movies I'm like I wonder what I'm in a

crave I like craved Taco Bell like nothing nothing. I don't have anywhere cravings. The only thing that's been so incredibly different for me is like, I never cared for sugar ever. Like, people would eat pastries in front of me or cakes and things. I'd be like, yeah, okay, I'll take a bite, but like, I don't really want it. Oh my gosh, the second I got pregnant, sugar became God's gift to this earth. So did you think you're having a girl then? I did. I was like, okay, I'm craving sugar so much. Like I always want something sweet and I never wanted that. And he's a boy, but, you know. At one point, excuse me, so many people, not so many, like three or four would look and be like, you're having a boy. Oh yeah. What? They instantly knew it's crazy. I didn't know that was a thing.

Yeah, like three people that we like, we hired someone to do something for our baby room and he's like, he's like, my wife, I'm gonna, I'm gonna ask my wife what she thinks because she can tell. And then I guess, did you take a picture of FaceTime or something? Maybe, I don't know.

She's like, he's sitting, it's sitting high so she thinks it's a boy. And then other people would be like, it's a boy. Everyone knew it was a sitting on. There was one person who told me I was having a girl, they were like, it's a high so she thinks it's a boy and then other people would be like it's a boy Everyone knew there wasn't one person who told me I was having a girl. They were like it's a boy so weird And I was like I didn't know that wives tale is like true I thought it was just like one of those things where see I don't I don't actually think it is though because I had two boys And I carry them totally different really really yeah, maybe maybe it's a vibe you're giving off a Maybe I don't know

Maybe it's just- Maybe it's a vibe you're giving off. Maybe, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, we did have a psychic tell us we were having a boy that was gonna have blue eyes. Yeah. And we are son, how blue eyes.

And we were like, how blue eyes? I honestly get scared to go to psychic. I didn't go to one, I was in Disney World. We were just in Disney World and we met this girl. She's on the bus with us. She's very nice on the bus with us and she just told us like, she's like, you're gonna have a boy with blue eyes.

We're like, funny. And we're like that's funny because like I have dark brown eyes Yeah, brown eyes. I have green hazel eyes neither one of us is blue. I see I guess what he goes Would you just ask what mine are like like dark darker like my gosh can can tell me tell me Your friends eyes I color right now. I know what they're like oh you know what I do know I do know one thing she does have dark eyes, but she wears contacts that are a little tint. All right. So I don't want to speak anymore because we wanted to do we want to do a YouTube video. She ends up like, what when I get it right, she's like, wait, no, we're going to do a YouTube video after this podcast. And it's who knows their partner better, unmarried or married

and he's already failing at just my eye color. You wear color contacts. It's no, but it's not like it's, I have brown eyes, can it's just the outer part of it. Take those contacts out. She has dark brown, but she wears like a little... I'm the fact check this. Yeah, she wears like little tinted, like like little tinted. Little tinted.

It's basically brown contacts for brown eyes. Okay. It's a weird thing I saw. So I had contacts my whole life, not my whole life, since I was like 14, 15. And one time I went into my optometrist and they were like, oh, we have these new contacts. They're like, they basically enhance your color.

And I was like, that's cool. Like, I wanna try that. So I did and I got these contacts that they're brown contacts for brown eyes. And Keen's like, well, maybe you're doing a brown eyes. She has brown eyes. So if we had a baby that had blue eyes, it could happen.

My dad has the blueest eyes in the entire world. Like they're like this blue. It's funny looking at Keen's eyes right now. I'm like, I can't even make out your eye color. Like your eyes look almost black. I don't have any pupils. It's just one big pupil.. Your eyes look almost black. I don't have any pupils. It's just one big pupil. I've been told that too.

I haven't seen your pupils. Really? I don't. I can see, there's like a little dot in your eyeball. I can see that. I can see that. Dude, I'm freaking out now. Can you see that I'm freaking out now?

I don't have any pupils. Yeah, yours are dark, but I just feel like mine are like midnight. Yours are like a 738. Oh, yeah. Yeah, mine are like, oh my god, I might not have any people. Yeah, so. The people always ask you guys when you're getting married. Oh, especially now, like, comments and stuff. Is that why you hesitated a little bit when I was like,

how did your family react? Cause like was your, was anybody in your family like one of you asked to, like get married before you had marriage? Not before. Well, I feel like my mom, the second she found out, we were pregnant, she's like, she's gonna get married, right? And we were like, no.

And then she kind of was like, you have to get married. But her reasoning was more because she wanted us to be on insurance. For like tax reasons. And I was like, I don't want to be, yeah. I don't want to be, like, not forced into marriage, right? Like I just don't want to get married for the wrong reasons.

Like, oh, it's gonna save us a lot of, what were you thinking? We just stop saying for the wrong reasons because it's not like we're holding off on marriage because it's wrong. Like we're, you know, I know, but yeah, by having someone be like, you should get married now because you have a son.

You should get married because tax benefits us like we want to be married We don't want to be pressured into something that like tax benefits agree on this is my wife. She says money on taxes with me You guys do live in the state of California, which I'm pretty sure has like some of the highest tax I know Yes, so that the marriage and then with with my parents like they split when I was eight love my parents They're like they can be in the same room now and they're great, but like they split when I was eight, love my parents, they're like, they can be in the same room now and they're great, but like they split, like I don't have any great memories of my parents being married and like,

it being like this great grand thing. I don't know, so. And then my parents started going through a split recently. I mean, like they're back together now, but it was kind of like, they were literally inches away from signing divorce papers, but then they decided to like, they were literally inches away from signing divorce papers, but then they decided to like, work it out. So I think for us, I was telling him to,

it's kind of like lately, and I might just be because I'm pregnant, I've been feeling more of, and I don't know how to explain it, but this is the best way I can do it, is, I'm not in this need to get like married right now, sign paperwork and be like, this is it, the deed is done, we're officially together.

But it's hard for me to tell people, like, oh, my boyfriend. Because to me now that we're having a baby together, he's more to me than my boyfriend. Yeah. He's not someone that, like, I would easily just let out of my life or call it quits. Like, we would work on it.

We would fight for our relationship. We would like, you know, we're in a more committed state. I'm baby daddy now. Yeah, but I'm not calling you as baby daddy. That sounds so terrible. You need a baby daddy too. Yeah, you're my girlfriend and baby mama. So I told him recently that I want to be engaged

in the rest of my life. Oh, that's sweet. Oh, that would be so cute. And now he's like, so you're going to break my makeup house. No, she wants a ring and every every morning. Oh, you want the ring now. Every morning, I wake up. I can't I can't breathe. She's like, I just like, so look at this cute when I was talking.

She even got a fake ring for a video. Yeah, she's that's so funny. She's in my grill. Here's the thing when we got so like we were young, right? So like we didn ring for a video. Yeah, she's that's so funny. She's in my grill. Here's the thing when we got married, so we were young, right? So like, we didn't have a lot of money. I'm not even wearing mine right now. Oh, but you're not wearing your ring.

I'm actually wearing a silicone ring. Is that it? I've heard a lot of good things about that. We had no money, so the ring that I got Abby was, it wasn't a real diamond, it was Moist Night, which is actually more ethical because it's not like the- I actually love those ones, which is weird, because they're shinier.

They're so brilliant. Like, it's very sparkly. I love that. And she picked it out as the first one she saw in the storage. She's like, that's what I- It was like, boy friends, he was the first boyfriend. Yeah, first boyfriend.

Right, I had dim, same ring. I just didn't want to waste my time. But my point is, like, when you said breaking the bank, like, you could get a ring for $5. I'm sorry, my ring is $5. I want everyone to know on the podcast. I want to know. I told him that it can be super fake.

I want to do a brand deal for a ring. Give me a ring. Do a brand deal. I don't even care. Just get me one. Do a brand deal for a ring. I'm doing a brand deal. Like, look, I got this.

I just have to promote it. That's fine. And now, thank you so much to Kay Jouler's, sir, sponsoring my wife or whatever. Oh, I love what he messes up. It's so clear. Honestly, those Kay Jou casuals are my fiance. Baby mama.

My baby mama. Honestly, we've actually done a brandy with Kedulers and they're really easy to work with. So if you work with them, that would be. Maybe as a push present. As a push present. As a push present, you propose. It's either that.

All of this pressure only makes him go farther in not doing it. Let me tell you, oh, I'm pushing. I can't work that off of that way made him go farther in Let me tell you He's idea. It's either of that or a golf cart I've been thinking golf cart sounds great would I go for a big great for both of us bro We can we can only write it in our neighborhood. There's literally you can't go out to the streets Slurpee you get seven lemon slurpee. 7-11. 7-11. Wait bro, Slurpee. So you get 7-11 Slurpee. Oh, that was like inches away from it.

I love that. That was a craving for her for a little bit. We lived in Hawaii. There was 7-11 a minute from our house and I would go all the time. It's just unsafe to live that close to a 7-11. Like I, oh my god, 7-11, all the possibilities are endless. That's douchey.

Wait, did that subshoot your 7-11? They have subbed. No way you would be. That's douchey. I like douchey. 7-Eleven? They have some. They do, but I do not. I like their sushi. I can't. No way. Guys, come on. You're telling me you actually ate the sushi at 7-Eleven?

Of course. We really will eat it. We did a whole video eating only 7-Eleven for 24 hours. And then our camera was working so we had to re-film the whole thing. No, not on the audio for the whole thing. We didn't have audio in the first video. So we had it in the video a few times. So we had it in the video.

All of that. What was the worst thing you had? Oh, man. You will never eat again. Kill you after? Yes, but there is good stuff though. You have to just, you have to know how to look for it. Like what about the roller tequito? They're, they're, they're chicken wings. Okay. The tequito's not bad, honestly. I don't imagine it tasted bad. I just imagined my stomach hating me after. Yeah, that does definitely. Yeah, that's what I be scared of. Okay. I see like subject proposing.

Okay, so you, but this has to be. No, you can't talk about it because then he's not being doing it. Oh, she's shedding now. We just powered off. Yeah. Sorry, I keep powered back on for this. See, we did things like, as like traditionally as you could do it. Really?

We literally didn't live together until we got married. Yeah. Okay. We did. We were so opposites. We waited. We waited. We were so, we got pregnant and then moved in together.

Cause you had to. I feel like maybe cause you're in LA, it's a little different, but especially like where we're from in the Midwest. Yeah. You feel like people being like questioning you even here? Absolutely. Really? Not here, but like not even my family, but I just know like the traditional route,

the traditional route of like, there's kind of like not a checklist, but there's kind of like steps to do it in. And we skip steps and we're doing, you know, step number seven and step number one, like switch, we're just doing it kind of almost backwards. And for sure it's not like the traditional way or the right way to do things. So we're for doing it kind of almost backwards and for sure it's not like the traditional way or the right way to do things.

So we're for sure getting like asked and like is marriage coming up and it's not like hard. It's kind of cool that we can show people that like even if it's not the traditional way, everyone is different, you know, and we are making, it's working. We're still doing great, you know, and like, how team hurt. Well, you know, and like, how do you go team?

Well, you punch with your back your wrist. But like, it's worked for us. And I mean, yeah, the only thing that he installs to do is, you know, take your time, but eventually, you think wedding is down the road. Not even a wedding, just, I just wanna be engaged. I get you a ring. Oh, just engaged. I just want to be engaged. I get you a ring. Oh, just engaged.

I just want something more than we're boyfriend girlfriend. I want something that's like Beyonce. Yeah. Are you a ring? You get me a golf cart. Fine. That's untraditional.

But what if I agree to that? Great compromise, everybody. I mean, really? How? You're also putting on a ring, too, though. What? Really? I'm putting one on. Yeah, because you know what? You're the proposed on a ring too though. What? Really? Yeah, because you know what?

You're the provost me then. Hey, try this one on. Yeah, you're the provost me too. It's silicone. It's silicone. It's silicone. Oh, yeah. I like that one because it's not uncomfortable.

Oh, good on you. It's silicone. Actually, that one. Does that make you feel some type of way? I just love seeing it because it's just, I don't know. Are you scared of the idea of marriage? Of commitment. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I mean, I think you live too formal. I don't know. I get scared of like, I'm just like kind of a realistic person in the sense that I- I need to just wash it. I love it so much. I don't trust it. I don't want to be with him forever.

But like, what if that's not true? What if we, I don't know. I don't know.. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them.

I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them.

I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. I don't trust But people get that get divorced like they never got married thinking they would divorce one. Yeah, right? Like they were obviously meant to they obviously like were fully in on that So it's sad that like that happens, but I don't know

I think like even the people that it does happen to I would maybe I'm wrong But I would probably say that most of them probably would say that they made the best decision They did in that moment. Yeah, maybe they learned or something Maybe things went south, but I don't know. You just, you make so many decisions in life with like the with so many unknowns and like hindsight is 20-20, but you don't know what the freak you're doing when you're just figuring it out. My dad, not always told me, but first of all, he's told me multiple times. I don't know if it's a good thing to tell your son, but he'd always told me my dad's very not traditional. Yeah.

But he's always said, like, what do you know with the number one leading cause of divorces? And I was like, oh my god, like that's a huge question. And when Mary need you, you want to never do it. He's like, what's the leading cause of divorce? And I was like, I don't know, cheating. He's like marriage. And I was like, I don't know, cheating. He's like, marriage. And I was like, oh, okay.

Well, so yeah. Yeah, we should not talk about what you're talking about. Love my dad, but. That is amazing. And he's so funny, but he's, he's very against traditional life. There's not a good, but he got married and had three beautiful, four, five beautiful kids. Like, love my mom for 13 years.

Like, it was great. But now I feel like when you talk to him, he would just say how, you know, he's his own person and he's getting older, but like, there's no perfectly painted picture for me. Yeah. I have to paint something myself. Yeah.

So it's like, it's kind of hard making these decisions based off of nothing, like, just me making my own decisions and like, I don't know, just scary. It's scary. World road to Navigate It's crazy. I do sure this takes off me like a couple years ago, and I really I don't know it really I love it and what it said is Like being single is hard and being married is hard. So choose your hard or maybe it was more about like

About like maybe it's not fitness. I don't know. Maybe it was like So choose your heart. Or maybe it was more about like, about like, maybe it was about fitness. I don't know, maybe it was like, like you know, working out every day is really hard and also like being overweight is hard. So choose your heart. And so it's like, life is hard no matter what.

Yeah. So you have to just choose one. It's like you pick your struggle. That's the thing about life is unfortunately, no matter what your circumstances, rich or poor or, I don't know, whatever situation you're in, like there's going, it's going

to be hard. And so you just get to choose that. But um, and we're like also, we're very, you know, and you can agree to this too. It's not like we are 100% never going to get married. Like we've always said, we might change our mind down the line, huh? Be. Be. Okay.

Yeah. Kean's like, no, just kidding. No, we really like, we've always said, if something changes down the line, it changes down the line. Obviously, my mind has changed a little bit differently. I'm still scared to get fully married and like sign paperwork and do all that stuff.

I wanna show people more that we're like committed in a way that, you know, that's why I want the engagement. But I think it's just because we've seen stuff from our families. So like, have you guys, are your parents both together married? Mm-hmm. Yeah. So you guys have that shape-seeing, knowing that it can work.

Yeah. For you, I think, didn't you say your parents even try it again and it still didn't work? Yeah, so it's kind of like, he saw it twice and then he's like, it just doesn't work. So like, why would I put myself in that situation? How about before an engagement rant, I get you a mood ring. So I know how you're feeling.

That, and they could actually get a mood ring that works for a husband's to know or... Have you gotten better at like deciphering what she actually means? Because like Abbeyall said, one thing, and she means another thing. Are you going to have to get in the other other percent years I still can't figure her out half is so hard maybe I should be the ever was recently like just playing the game

he ignores it he knows exactly what I'm feeling he just is like yeah okay no I just did a streamer I just feel like I I know aila too well she knows me too well so at this point that's why I think we don't fight anymore like argue because we just know like what is the secret to not we know what it's what it's serious or not I truthfully just don't feel anymore, like argue, because we just know, like, what is the secret to not fight anymore? I'm really wondering if it's serious or not. I truthfully just don't feel like, I'm kind of just tired, like,

I really just, we, I don't want to fight with him. There's a lot of times when my friends will be like, I'll say something about what Kian did and they're like, what? Yeah, sorry. I'll say something about what Kian did and they're like, all the time. I'm gonna tell my friends, I really don't want to rip his head off.

You know what? I have like, honestly, I just don't wanna rip his head off You know what? I'm like honestly, I just don't I don't know That is the common theme I've seen among all couples have been married like over 50 years Matt, what does the husband always say to you? Uh, happy wife, happy wife, happy life

Dude, I swear What rhymes with husband? Happy husband, heavy? Fab-bend Live, spend Thank you, man There's nothing for us I'm out rhymes with husband. Happy husband, heavy. Happy. Lived. What? Darn it. There's nothing for us. He wants everything to be about him.

We don't get busted. Where? I'm going to cry again. We don't get anything. It's so funny. I tell him all the time, I'm like, you're so lucky to have me because I don't get bad. And I've voiced that a lot.

I'm very lucky to have Aila. I don't get mad a lot lost that a lot. I'm very lucky to have a lot I don't get mad a lot of times and he's also so funny, which is really annoying because I laugh a lot Wait, keep me in compliment and then took it away. He's so funny So like when he does something bad, I'm laughing because he starts being funny and then he's like see I made you laugh everything's good and then he goes back to the stream room He's like we're good. Okay, bye And then he leaves me because I'm like happy You keep talking about streaming. I'm like I want to try a stream with you Like I'm so curious

I suck it so fun people would make fun of me so much because I'd be horrible like I Probably even the worst video game player in the world. There's only one way to get better No, man, I'm not stop Abby's no, if we're playing Mario Kart on the Wii, that actually is one game that we love to play Mario Kart together. I smashed that game. She's so good at that game. But the Wii Remote Abby is so good at like, like using it until it's in it.

For sure. We have more except for you with your cousin. I do switch. No, Wii. We play on the Wii. We switch sometimes. She likes it on the Wii. That's what you play on the Wii.

You play on the Wii? That came in like 2008 it on the we play on the we that came in like 2008 We really don't play video game. Oh you guys are like parents. They're like they're like playing We get out of our Atari everyone Yeah, I love guitar hero. That's the only game actually I'm rock band as a kid We got it for Christmas and then me and my two brothers. We like one person took the drums one person took the base Okay, also I'm gonna don't hate me, but I've been a hold I have to be I need to be too so bad guys go

Sorry to interrupt your schedule programming But we do have something to share with you guys speaking of share We would like you to share this podcast with your mother and I want you to share it with the 26th person in your context list Yeah, I would like you to share it with your For your furry friend your furry friend nice your hamster The person in the McDonald's drive through line dude that'd be funny like what if instead of you know Do what we do which is like order what the people in front of us order cuz we like make that video all over like all the time What if it's just like I'm gonna shout back the person behind me?

Share it with when you when you go to order postmates next time or door dash and it says leave a note Yeah, yeah mates next time or door dash and it says leave a note, cheer. Yeah. The link in there. That's very specific. Yeah. Here on the podcast. Plug the link of the podcast. Plug the link. Because we, people need to hear these like awesome conversations that we're having about

relationships and dating and getting married. Everybody goes through this at some point in their life. Whether they make the decision, you know, to actually get married or not, they will be thinking about this at some point. Share the podcast now, back to the episode. We are now officially back. So something I could totally relate to you on the opposite end of the whole marriage thing is,

you guys were saying you felt all this pressure like to get married and are still feeling that and I felt the opposite of like pressure not to get married. Because when we were young, in like 19 and 20 engaged, people were like, whoa, whoa, whoa, like why are you doing this? I felt the opposite of like pressure not to get married because when we were young and like 19 and 20 engaged people were like whoa, whoa, whoa, like why are you doing this like really? My aura the manager So young yeah, the manager at the pizza restaurant that we worked out was like you guys would just move in together first and not get married And just like see how if it works out and like we and we're like well, we don't want to do that

That was way more hesitant when it was like time for us like talk about like starting a family. Yes. Then it was for him to get married. Like he was like, oh, yes. I was all in. So it's like the opposite. Yeah, we're flipped.

I know we're so flipped. I was all in on Abby, but then it was like, well, we're bringing other kids into this world. Like these are individuals that don't even exist yet. And like you want to, like I knew I wanted to be a dad, but like we became parents pretty young, I would say compared to more people. And so for you guys, like why?

And all the responsibility is yours. Yes. Like there's nobody else's, it's yours. It's just, yeah. And so I guess my question is, what is it, it's, why did you guys feel more comfortable with having kids before marriage? Because like for me, it was the exact opposite.

Well, for the marriage part, there's nothing in the world that can, this can sound so cheesy. Oh, gosh. It's the same thing you're gonna say. Make me love her more. Oh, I was really scared this was gonna go a bad way. There's nothing that can be like,

there's nothing that can like, make me love her more, like, prove to her that, I don't feel like, I don't feel like, I don't feel like I have to prove to my love to her. I love her with all my heart. And the kids thing I felt was so easy, not so easy, but it's like, I already know I loved her

and there's nobody else I would wanna start a family with. So I just knew that was gonna be with her. I felt comfortable. She makes it so easy to be like, to like wanna start a family with that she's so caring. And like ever since I've known her, like the main thing she's always said she wanted to be was like a mom, right?

Yeah. Yeah, every time someone asks you like, what did you wanna be when you grow up? You'd always say a mom. I'm a mom. So yeah. I think also, it's like kind of, it's my, I don't know, it's my town weird saying this too,

but like the reason I think we are so, we know that like being parents is like what we wanna do and we know that like we would be good together as parents is because like when it comes to us dealing with like each other, we love each other very much. We've been through so much. We've like had our ups and downs, we've had our breakups, we've got back together.

We know that like when it comes to us, like there's just, there's so many different levels to our relationship and we don't really don't know where things, we never know where things are gonna go. Like we know we love each other more than anything in the world. We know at this point, we're for sure like, we're always gonna fight for each other. Like, you know, that's not a question.

But when it comes to having a baby, we just both knew that married or not, we would be so good together as parents. So like we knew bringing a child into this world. He was ready. I was ready. It's something we both had agreed on. It's something that like we also know that even if Keen and I don't work out down the line,

we will still be great parents. We'll still be cordial together. We will be able to make sure that this boy has the best life. I was gonna ask you have any kind of birth plan or how you're just like, we're just gonna go in for it, maybe we'll come or do you have anything, any expectations for the big day?

We for sure need to write up our birth plan, but I've kind of come to the decision lately that I think I just want Kean in the room. I know my mom is not going to be happy about that. I just want to experience having this baby with just Kean or together, doing this as a good team, and we both get to experience him him coming out for like the first time together and then we can bring our families in and also I get very anxious when I get too many people talking to me. So if I have keen in one ear being like you should do this calm down blah blah then I have my mom being like I had four kids I know what to do bend like this do like I'd be like

plus the doctor breathe push everybody get away so I feel like I just need him to be there to just calm me down along with the doctors and the nurses. So that's the only thing that I'm the doctor. I see the only thing that we know so far. There's like so many people in and out of the room. Yeah, and then obviously our parents can come visit us like once the baby is there. Like you can come to the hospital and like say hi and everything, but in the delivery room at the time. How do you think you're gonna feel? Are you like nervous or are you gonna pass out? Oh my God.

Boom. Pass out, but I've talked to her about this before. I don't do good with blood at all, but I feel like in that moment, I feel like it's just so much adrenaline and it's like a real life moment. I feel like I'll be able to get through it. I just, I'm not gonna be able to look

and realize what's going on. It'll be behind me. There's no way he can be like, I'm a, oh you're not gonna look. My birth plan is gonna be the holding like look and like realize what's going on behind me. There's no way he could be like My birthplace is gonna be the whole to her hand like looking at it. You got this. Yeah Yeah, see Matt watch the whole thing even watch the whole season bloody a lot of blood No, I can't see the C section. I was laying there and I could see in the reflection of the light. There's no curtain There's a curtain, but I'm looking up at the light into the light. There's all these like I mean it's a surgery There's always intense lights and plastic thing around it. Oh, yes, I did not the whole thing

But like I keep peeking on be like wow, that's crazy. There's like her belly. Oh, you would not you would not like organs and stuff Yeah, yeah. Oh my god. We need to stop this podcast. Oh, sorry. I'm like, oh my god. It gets very, very queasy when it comes to blood. Do you think you're gonna cry when he comes out? Yes. How quick do you do skin to skin as the father?

Uh, the with the C section, it wasn't as quickly. Like I actually had to be like, okay, can I like do the skin to skin thing? Yeah. I feel like I should probably do that. And they're like, oh yeah, you can do skin to skin. But nobody told me like, all right, it's time for skin to skin. Get a skin to skin. So you have to ask for it.

You have to ask for it. You have to advocate for yourself in the hospital. For both the babies you guys had to do that. Yeah, really? Yeah, it really does. The hospital dick takes a lot. Yeah. It depends on the hospital that you're at.

So maybe that's why it's good to come in with a little bit of a plan because we didn't really have one. And then we were kind of just like, you guys want to tell us what to do. But then they kind of go based off of you a little bit. That's good to know because I knew that like when you have the baby it goes straight to the mother. Right. I didn't know. Right. I didn't either time because both were kind of different. Okay, so it just depends on the health of the baby and what's going on. It kind of just depends on how the end of the birth goes. Like, I think most of the time, like, right to mom.

Right. Like, I got Griffin pretty quick. It was different because I was getting like, stitched back up for like, 40 minutes with, okay, so they put his face right next to mine, which was really sweet. Oh yeah, I've seen the videos, okay. I just didn't know, like, I knew that was kind of, the traditional thing is like straight to mom. I didn't know dad's, did the skin to skin, so I recently found't know, like I knew that was kind of the traditional thing is like straight to mom. I didn't know dads did skin to skin, so I recently found that out.

And now that I'm finding out that it's like not even the hospital does it right away, you kind of have to say, you kind of have to like, come on, like let's get to it. Now I know that step. Yeah. Like if that doesn't happen to us, I know like, okay, just ask. He did skin to skin first with Griffin. Yeah. Wow.

Well, you've been in stitch up for a while because you tore. Yeah. Crazy things have. Oh. I'm very excited. I want to use skin skin. I'm going to walk into that hospital shirtless. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. The whole weekend or the weekend, the whole couple days. Couple of weekends. I'm going to use their shirtless. Yeah, I don't like wearing shirtless. Oh, we can get away. Yeah. I'm going to be in there in a shirtless.

I'm so excited for you guys Sure, like that was really excited to and it's cool that like we get to see you guys and do this like right before We're about to have a baby so that like probably that well, we'll see you again soon because we're gonna Do video but after that we'll see you with a baby cuz like next time we're on the pod We'll have a baby. Have you ever had a baby on the podcast? We save it We had our baby. Our baby was wrapped up, our baby was wrapped up to Abby. So we filmed episode.

Oh yeah. Okay, but that's fine. You haven't had a second, like a not your baby. A guest baby. I guess baby. I never had a guest baby on the stage. I was gonna ask, we talked about this earlier, but you don't, you haven't decided on name yet. No name. We have three in the running.

Put up a hat and just draw one. We have three great names, and I love all of them, but people have their opinions, and then we keep going back and forth. Like, is that too like- If you love it, I'm gonna tell everybody on this listening to this podcast. If you love a name, you and your partner,

don't tell anybody because we loved this one name, and we were so set on it, and everyone else didn't, yeah. Everyone else did it like in, like that sad. We are a pain in it. And I feel like it's hard. We honestly might still do it, but.

Yeah, but we just, we just go back and forth, like is it too basic of a name? Is it something that's like, what if it's something that we're thinking, this is what I've been going back and forth on. It's like, is it something that I think is cool now that in five years, I think is like're thinking, this is what I've been going back and forth on. It's like, is this something that I think is cool now that in five years, I think is like a not cool name.

Here's the thing. I feel like once you know your son as that name, I feel like you'll never question it. He thinks the name, not the name makes it. Especially five years online, you'll be like, I would never call him anything else. Right, right. Like they make their name. Yes, they like fit into it. I have heard though of a mom who changed her kids name

a year after they were born. A year after? Yeah, they know what that's, that's not the right name. And they just change it. So you can always see that. That's the minority though. That's like one person. I'm like, no, we're going to do something like mentally

where I'm like, this is a cool name. Like, I just thought of this and it's a cool name. It's like something silly. And then like a year down, I'm like, why did I do that? Yeah, there were kids in high school where you're like, your parents, what were they doing around the time? That's interesting. Yeah, okay.

I don't know, I don't wanna call anyone out, but especially nowadays, there's some crazy names just being thrown around and you're like, all right. So sorry. Yeah, so I don't wanna, I feel like I'm getting involved. Okay, we'll talk about it off the podcast. I don't get into that. All right. We'll talk about it off the Yeah, what were you saying kids? Yeah, no names. I just don't yeah, I don't say any names are a huge huge thing that I just don't like

It's it's the biggest thing we're dealing with right now, and especially that we're getting close to having the baby We're kind of freaking out. That went pressure. It's like the first decision you make for your kid, that's right. Huge. And then I obviously, you know, I think about names, and then sometimes you, sometimes you categorize names together, like you're like, oh, well, if it, if, you know,

this name, I always associate with this behavior. Oh, since it's your first kid, you're kind of setting the tone for future children. Right. Because you can't have a really common name and then a crazy wacky name. And then you could. It's the hardest thing ever. I just really did not think it was going to be this hard, but it is so hard.

Pick it before you get really hormonal after the baby comes. Oh, yeah. Well, we for sure have to have it. Like I told Ken, like we, we need to sign the paperwork at the hospital. We're not changing after the hospital, but like I kind of just want to see him. You get your birth certificate at the hospital.

Okay, wait, actually get this. You have to go pick it up and we've never picked up either one of our, oh my gosh, that makes us sound like horrible parents. Yeah, we don't have either. We have their socials. They mail that like right away, but they make you pick up the birth certificate.

That's why this is called the unplanned part. I can tell you where, because I haven't gone to get it. We need to go, yeah, do you have to? I'm gonna go and get both of them, I guess. Interesting. I wonder if they're holding them and they're like, these, they're like,

dust on spider webs. Like these irresponsible parents, I've never been. There's no, there's probably plenty of parents. It's so embarrassing. It's fine. It's probably plenty of parents. And it's so embarrassing. It's fine. It's not good. We'll figure that part out, but yeah. I feel like we should go to like the courthouse.

Also, yeah, by the way. You guys go there, we have the person to be inside. Can you pick up ours? We can go to the courthouse together. You guys get married and we'll get married. First of all, honestly, I was like, hey, what the heck? You know what's weird, Matt?

They keep saying we signed the paperwork, which obviously we did that, but do you have any recollection of signing paperwork? I think we officially signed the paperwork. What if we're not actually married? Like the officially, like what is it? Hey, come over here, you guys. And we're just like, oh, he's like signed here,

so here, all right, you're good. And we're like back on the dance floor. Like it was like so quick. So you can't have, was that night? Yeah, we signed it that night. She's the new member. You signed more paperwork buying a car. Is what you're saying? Yeah. Okay. I mean, that's a lot of paperwork a car. What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened?

What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened?

What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened?

What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? It's insane and it can be it can be like literally. Do you have to pay money to get the marriage paperwork? I have no recollection of the paperwork. I'm gonna say it's free You're like actually not married. It's free. We might not be married. We're 100-pavvy. We're married. We're legally married. Whoa! What if it was like $10 just to get married? I don't know. I'm guessing it's not. Yeah, but then it's like $1,000 to get divorced.

Literally. Well, this is all the I'm sure sure you could do a cheap divorce and not have lawyers involved, but then one of the partners, if it was a messy divorce, could screw the other person over. Yeah, I'm saying. Okay. Well, this is probably why you guys aren't getting married. Yeah. Yeah. You know that technically our house is just in Matt's name,

so therefore if he were to divorce me, he could take everything. That's not true though, because we're, Well, they're both like so cute. It's not true because of the state. You can also, That is so funny. You can add up.

It's like where more, where more like, Oh yeah, we're for sure going in on a house together. We're for sure signing together. More than we're like, yeah, marriage, I don't know if we can sign that. Yeah, we're already talking about getting a house together. Way backwards. We're so backwards.

That's hilarious. No, but the state, the state that we live in though, it's like a 50-50 state with marriage. So like if we were to- Why do you know all this? I just knew. I just knew. Is it really?

Is it really what it is? I want to protect, like it's there. You want to protect it, really rich? Yeah, say someone's like a billionaire and they marry somebody who's not a billionaire. Like, I'll make sure. $100,000. Can you still sign it?

Greed up? That's out there. That's what's about your hair. It's just to make sure that people have their assets protected, right? Yeah. So if someone thought maybe, maybe someone's marrying just. Why are you saying assets?

Can you just say money? They're money is protected. Yeah, I see. It's like, on the day. Does everyone have to sign one if you get married? No, no, we didn't do a prenup. Because we had no money. We had no money. didn't do a prenup because we had no money You're like should we do it?

Literally we combined our finances because we were both it like literally 20 and we had no money So everyone was like you guys combined your bank accounts when you guys were not even engaged and we're like yeah Because it was about $500 in there. I don't know what we had Yeah, well honestly, I mean, I feel like, yeah, that's kind of the only thing we've done on track is we both have our own bank accounts and then we recently have a joint account now. Yeah.

And that's all of our work that we do together is now for our joint account. So it's kind of like we're learning how to share money and do all that and then we're evenly gonna go on our next house together. So like we're kind of starting in like I feel like that's our only On track you don't want to buy it just yourself. Nope. Nope. Let him move in. Yeah, I'm like you move in. Yeah, no, no, That's so nice. Yeah, let me move in. Ala is your landlord. Just a little paying her mortgage. Oh, Kean would not last in the house if I was just a landlord.

You're watching shit now, get up. Get up. You have to put that to secure your deposit. Yeah. You wouldn't want that anywhere. I'm so excited for you guys. Thank you. Yeah, very keen in Aila.

Thank you guys for coming on the unplanned podcast. If you haven't already checked them out on YouTube, they have a Kean and Aila YouTube channel. You can also YouTube channel you can also find them. I think you guys have individual channels You know Instagram are you changing it then to diary of three? So we have are I have like my own channel that I do and I post like basically like updates on like my life being pregnant Bull block Kean does have a channel, but he doesn't really post on anymore He has his K&J channel that he posts every Friday.

That's his one thing he's been doing with his friend for forever. He has his channels. Wow. Oh yeah, and then he has like a video. Yeah, we don't even forget. You're a streamer. You play video game streamers.

There's too much. People watch that. Too much going on. You get paid to play video games essentially. Yes, it doesn't like that. That's crazy though. Every time I go in there, it was like, you're going in there and playing Fortnite.

I'm like, but I'm making money there. I know. I love it in the sense that it's cool that he gets to be a part of his, like he gets to talk to his fans, like, you know? But it's the gaming part. Anyway, we don't have to get into that. But yeah, we have multiple channels.

If you can find one, there's multiple. So, very cool. Yeah. Well, thank you guys so much for coming on. Real quick, I wanted to shout out Wander for letting us stay at this beautiful home where in Malibu right now, we have a new, this is not our house.

This is not our house, I'm sure you guys know that. It's a very nice house. I'll have to show you the view where we were literally staring at the ocean right now in Malibu. It's beautiful. I've planned so very good. I need to check out Wander myself. I know, and it's a smart home. It comes at the Tesla. Every Wander house comes at the ocean right now in Malibu. It's beautiful. I need to check out wander myself. I know and it's a smart home It comes with a Tesla every wander house comes with a Tesla and that's the thing that blows my mind

You just get to it's a free Tesla with the house. Well the cars just there for you. What? Yeah, and that cool okay, whoa, I'll have to give you guys their contact I'm sure it's so many locations one in Tahoe We stayed at the one in organ blue Mia where the one in Tahoe they have one abandoned or a state we stayed at the one in Oregon Side Beach blew me away the one in Oregon was I was just not I did not know what to expect and it was the best We went out of baby moon and Joshua tree. Joshua tree. Please send me their contact. Vail. We went snowboarding We did a vlog of that trip and Yeah, we all don't want a snowboarding trip again

I'm gonna go to the lake Tahoe when we call the snowboarding. I love Lake Tahoe. We have a couple, fam, we can do that stuff now. With a newborn nose out of snowboard, there's no way. What? I'll hold it, it'll strap them to me. I want to get them a little bigger. It'll ski soon.

No, but this is cool now. We have a, he's moving so much. We have a couple, we don't have any one to do this. We have couple friends. We don't have any mom and dad friends. Yeah, we don't have mom and to do this? Well, we have couple friends, we don't have any mom and dad friends. Yeah, we don't have mom and dad friends. Okay, we'll be your first. Let's go.

That'll be fun. Baby play dates. Baby play dates. And as always, now this is where we say peace out dudes. Oh, okay. So we say one, two, three peace out dudes. We might be cutting this bit at some point. Okay.

We can go to your three, no. No, do it in your voice. Okay. What is that piece of it? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I was thinking, like, should we do their bit? Because they always do the...

Let's do it. Let's do it. She has never done it. She hates it. Wait, what do you say again? Odeo-3. Do you have, you guys, no one can say that. I don't even know why I do that.

Odeo-3. Odeo-3. Odeo-3. Odeo-3. Odeo-3. I don't know why I do that. I don't know why I don't know. Wait, Odeo 3. Odeo 3, O. How do you 3, O? I don't know why I do that. I don't know why I do that. Oh, because I think actually Liverpool King does.

He does Liverpool King, O. Wait, so I do that, man. Just lead us to this. Why are you boys doing this? I mean, that's why we were like, no, come on. Everybody has to do it. I can fight. Here we go.

Aila, this is the first. I'm going to watch you. I'm just going to do it, middle. That's like, middle. I'm going to do it, middle. You're going little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of We all said that so bad. Let's go.