The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby - My Parents on Birthing a 10lb Baby, Raising Three Boys & Life as Empty Nesters

Episode Date: December 20, 2023

This week Matt's parents joined the podcast again to share more stories about Matt's childhood, the experience of giving birth to Matt's older brother Caleb & how they're adjusting to their new life as empty nesters. This episode is sponsored by SeatGeek & Nutrafol. Use code UNPLANNED for $20 off your first SeatGeek order. seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/UNPLANNED Go to nutrafol.com and enter promo code UNPLANNED for $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping. BUY OUR MERCH!! https://unplannedpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Real Canadian Superstore has more legendary ways to save than any other major grocer. Until December 20, deck that cart with holiday deals like quality grade A frozen turkey at 149 a pound. Only at your Super Holiday store. See flyer for details. On your list, ifs for mom and ifs for dad Even for your sister and your brother Chad Ah shoot, we didn't realize you were supposed to get a gift for our dog, Parker Guy We almost forgot about it, then to start to curve We didn't expect to get a gift from her Or our cousin like to get his name

He got us something nice, better as it pertains For last minute deals I give some people you forgot Get past the free shipping at Amazon It felt like someone was stabbing me with a knife. I knew it was big, but I didn't know how big. It was over 10 pounds. 10 pounds for ounces. Do you guys believe in soulmates? Yes. Actually? No. You know you don't. Oh, because that's the fight. You guys got to be quite about that during premarital counseling. The biggest divorce rate is empty nesters when all your kids are gone. Wait, really? I have no idea.

The largest percentage, it could be easy to just go, or separate like, you start doing your hobbies, and I'll do my hobbies. We're committed. We would never get a divorce. One of us would just be dead. We would get killed. Thank you.

No, do that. I'm kidding. My body would never be found. Oh. What's up, dudes? What's up, dudes? And welcome back to the unplanned podcast. Yay! Today we are joined by my parents.

This is their second appearance in the podcast. You guys are only our second guest to appear on the podcast twice. Wow. So, we're honored. We're popular. Hey, we're honored to have you here. I'm honored that you're wearing our merch.

Thank you. I love these are comfortable. Stop. What do you guys think about it? Yeah, come forward. Give me your honest feedback on the here. I'm honored that you're wearing our merch. Thank you. I love these are comfortable. So, what do you guys think about it? Yeah, give me your honest feedback on the merch. I like it. It really is warm and cozy. It feels nice and soft. It's quality.

You can tell it's quality, fabric. I like this color. Wait, that makes me happy. We had to say that by the way. Yeah, this is honestly there. This is for real, right? I get it free. You get it free.

We'll give it to you for free. I'm kidding. Talk to us afterward. We will pull some of these. We will ship it to your house. This is a real right I get it free you get it free give it to you for free kidding talk to us afterward We will we will pull some shit to your house. This is a good Yeah, I like this is the blue cool. Yeah, I really like it blue, but I really like the black Oh, you like the black more cuz I kind of like I think people might like the blue more, but you're This is unique you get fat like me then you wear the black It has my belly covers a lot in

I'm excited to have you guys on today because I just realized you've been married for 31 years. That is a long time. It feels longer. It feels longer. Do you remember what life was like before marriage? It's wonderful. No. She said no. Mom, what about you? Do you remember life before marriage? Not hardly it just kind of feels like you've Married to this man. I can't imagine any other way man. No, it's been it has been wonderful. You guys believe in soulmates. Yes Actually, no, you know you don't oh The fight you guys got in a big fight about that during pre-marital counseling, right? Yeah, yeah, we were at the church. And our survey indicated that we were a perfect match but there was a couple of things

that we were pretty far apart. Extremely different on. And it was about, you feel like this is the only person that you could be married to and be happy. And I said no, I'm obviously, yes. Yeah, I was like, 10, yes, because it's like two weeks before the marriage. I'm like, yes, it's my one and only. And he like two weeks before the marriage I'm like yes, it's my one and only and he's like absolutely not

I'm like oh my gosh, and so that really hurt your feelings. Yeah, cuz way I thought about it It was like if I lived under a different state. Yeah, I met mom. I'm sure I'd probably find somebody as nice But not as pretty that I could be married to and enjoy my life with good answer Yeah, I'm talking about that because we kind of both agree that we don't believe in soulmates. So what about you? Well, okay, I think you swayed my opinion. Oh, I did. Yeah, because I think like if you wouldn't have been so logical about it, I would have been like, yeah, I think we are soulmates. Like I couldn't be with anyone else. Yeah, but your logical brain has changed my brain to think about things more logically, I

guess. Has your opinion changed, Mom? Yes, because I, my brain is logical, too. But this, like I said, this was like within weeks of the wedding. Yeah. So I was all goo goo and in wedding mode and in love, which is good. Yeah. And I'm still in love.

But me too. Being that I have a logical brain, I was like, you're right. There's somebody in love. But. Me too. Being that I have a logical brain, I was like, you're right. There's somebody in Alaska, there's somebody in California, there's somebody in. I think relationships, mother of a spouse or a friend,

takes work, you know? There's friends that I had years ago, and I don't see them very often, we've kind of grown apart. And the same thing happens if you're not together, and you're doing things on a regular basis, you grow apart. And whether it's somebody you met in your state, same thing happens if you're not together and you're doing things on a regular basis, you grow apart.

And whether it's somebody you met in your state or you met far, far away, it just takes effort. And if you're a part of that person, you lose that relationship, you lose that bod. Yeah. Don't you agree? When you think that is true, totally. Communication. So we try to spend time every night together. And, you know, I think it's important that

I had an opportunity to go to Puril and Oye, it'd been a lot more money. And I knew that would not be good for our life, our marital life. So I decided not to pursue that because I just knew that, you know, once you get displaced and we know people that are living that kind of life,

where they were. Were you talking about it like a job opportunity that happened recently? No, this is about two talking about like a job opportunity to happen recently. No, this is about two to half years ago. Yeah, pretty nice. And you were thinking about like living separate lives almost that you can make money. Yeah, during the week.

I didn't interview it for the position, but the guy who I knew worked for a company that I worked for and I said, hey, we think you might be a good fit. We'd be interested in, he told me how much money it's going to be. It was more than three times, almost five times as much money as it make. And so, it's very, very tempting.

And I didn't interview, because I realized if I go up to Perria and I'm away from mom and the family, and this is three years ago, whatever, it just wouldn't be good. You know, it's not healthy. I mean, if you have to do it for a period, people do what they have to do.

But long term, I don't think it's healthy. But there's lots of people that do that. They live their lives where one of them has to be a part. And it's just tough, you know? Yeah, celebrities have that issue. We're not celebrities. And the other two guys are celebrities. Oh, we are celebrities.

Yeah, you guys are a fan favorite on the pod. On the pod. Hey, I'm so serious note though, has there ever been in time in the 31 years that you've been married that you didn't think you were going to make it or that you that you thought, oh, this is really hard. I don't know, I don't know how we're going to move forward. Probably about four or five times, I guess.

I don't know, it's kind of hard to qualify, but yeah, there was times where we were bickering up singing. I'd say look where we were bickering. Absolutely. I'd say, look, they're greeing now. Bickering. And if you think it'd be better off than I'm gone, I'll pick up the leave. And you know, I really don't want to leave because I'll lover. And I would hate to be apart from mom. But we were just kind of having a tough time.

But we worked through it. It's not 50-50, as you guys know. It's sometimes you're giving 100 and the other person's giving 10 and it's just commitment. We're committed to each other. And one of the biggest is, I think the biggest of orcerate is empty nesters

when all your kids are gone. Oh, really? I have no idea. Yeah, the largest percentage. Because you're just in this grind mode of, you take him there, I'm here. You're there You know here's dinner and you you don't even have time to think and you try to fit each other in Which we tried to do that always have time for each other because you don't want the kids to be gone and then be like

What is your name? I don't even remember you so I was pretty good and intentional about scheduling You know our time Weekends away or whatever once a year So that we could stay oh, yeah remember the big was it her 40th? Yeah, 40th Yes, until why yeah a big trip and it was a week away from the kids. Yep, so that was huge 17 years ago. Yeah as parents was that hard to be away from the kids because how, so that was huge. 17 years ago. Yeah, as parents was that hard to be away from the kids, because how old were they at that time?

Oh, you guys are little. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So Josh was three. How was seven? Three. Yeah, that was the hardest. Josh was three, Matt was seven, and Caleb was nine.

And I think we kidded about this. Matt could have cared less, because they were with each of my sisters, grandma's like two three days with each per no one could handle them more than two days because it was a lot you know three seven and nine but Caleb wanted to talk to us every day and Josh did but Matt was like hey bye see you well one of our relatives had a trampoline and you guys wouldn't let us have a trampoline. I know.

So you would call and I'm like, I'm doing back flips on the trampoline. I don't want to talk right now. This is so much fun. That's so bad. Yeah, well, they had all girls. So it was a little safer, you know, but you were boys. But so anyway, it's lately we've been reading books

on empty nesters and how to communicate and how to spark that fire and just doing our bucket list of what we wanna do now that everybody's out of the house. So do you enjoy as far as your marriage, is your marriage better or worse now that kids are out of the house? It's kinda hard to say, it's just a different season. Different intensity, I guess, is what makes you happy.

I guess we have more time and we have the challenges of the kids. So it's a little more happy. I guess we have more time, and we have the challenges of the kids. So it's a little more freedom, I guess, that we have to do what we want to do. But that's why we're working on it. Like it could be easy to just go, or separate, like you start doing your hobbies, and I'll do my hobbies.

That's the book I'm reading that, yeah. So they didn't have the busyness of their family, but they, so they each started doing all the things that they wanted to do that they couldn't with kids Okay, instead of doing them together So like we've been walking the Katie trail We've been going to Augusta and just walking the Katie trail and go into the winery or the Beer gardens or whatever just for the day, you know, that's in our backyard But we've also been working on a bathroom project.

They take a lot of time. And mom's done 97% of the planning. Wow. And that's what this family did too. You let everything go in the house when you have kids. You know what I mean? Especially three boys, it just got destroyed. And now we're fixing up everything.

And dad just fixed up a gym in the basement. Yeah. Who's going to work out in that gym? Guests, people come to visit. It will charge you. I still can't believe you're building a whole gym. I'm like, you don't even work out at your own house. Yes, he will.

Yes, he will. Oh my gosh. So, our unfinished part of the basement just didn't have any drywall. And I just thought it'd be a little bit more appealing to me if I could put a TV down there. It has something that's a little more appealing and inviting. And I need to get some better lighting.

But anyway, it's pretty much done. And it had a little leak in our expansion tank, which sprayed water everywhere, but I got that fixed. And we're excited for you guys to see it. Who cleans your house now that there's no kids that are clean up with you? Because I used to clean it from all the hair. It doesn't get dirty. I cleaned all the hair off of your bathroom before with the little sticky roller

And that was for pet dinner. That was even supposed to be for human dander, but it worked And I just I thought everybody did that I thought every day I thought every carry monster. I think you both are I mean, there was so much hair on that floor This is the only thing I lose. He's yeah, no, yeah You wait those two little boys you got they're gonna make messes where you don't think you could have more of a messy thing. And it's a passive battle. Yeah. Seriously, you guys hire cleaner. What do you do? Yeah, she's got me. You were good about having your boys do stuff around the house and

being respectful. Like I guess what are some of your best tips for like right? We have two boys now not three yet? Got two. I feel like we're gonna have a third boy. I'm just saying it. I really feel like we will probably so No, I'm gonna be the end. I'm a little girl and I'm gonna spoil her rotten. I would love a little girl Anyway, not about us. No. What are your best tips for raising little boys or little kids in general? I guess my biggest tip is just give them the time they need and You guys are doing a great job with it. You're raising two wonderful little boys. I know you're just getting started with it but just being understanding and it's

more about your relationship with them than the stuff. I came home one time and mom was trying to get the boys to clean something and they put this cleaner on the carpet in a created a stain and I was so upset that our nice house is gonna have this permanent stain. It's still there. It's still there. The wine is not on the carpet. Was that Josh or me?

It's more important that you guys are learning to clean and helping your mom and that our house was lived in. It didn't have to be perfect. It was about your relationship with your family, not how pretty the house was. And I think that's the biggest thing. So if something gets ruined or messed up, don't make a big deal about it.

I know it's kind of stinks, it's money. You're trying to keep your house nice, but it's more important to have that relationship with your child than it has to have a perfect clean house. That's great. Yeah, but if you're a perfectionist, which I can be or used to be, you know, you can do it better than they can.

And it's gonna take way longer to show them at two or three, how to fold towels or whatever, and it's gonna look bad. But you just have to take a deep breath and be like, this, for the long, in the long run, this is good. That's not learned. I don't know, I cleaned that bathroom floor pretty good. You would tell me, hey, Matt, can I eat off of this?

Because if I can't eat off of it, it's not clean enough. Well, the thing is, you know, your boys are little now. They're not at that age, we're gonna start fighting. But mom came home one time when you and Kate over had a big fight and Kate over had you some type of a headlock. And you were scratching him, his neck was just all scratched up, bleeding.

And you're all red faced and she told me about it. And I thought it's so much funny, but that's rare. But that's rare. But that's scary because you get to a certain point. You can hurt each other. But that was rare. Yeah. Yeah, you guys didn't really fight that much.

No. How did you do that? Because I'm like literally actively dreading the day that Gryffinoggy start fighting with each other. I swear. It's going to happen. It depends on your oldest. It really. Because we saw a lot of boy families in baseball because John coached a lot of baseball and soccer and we would go on these tournaments and there was an older boy with little brothers and they would be so mean to them and the

parents would do nothing and it just broke my heart. But Caleb set the standard. I mean, I'm not saying it's anything to you, a Thess. I'm saying he has a great heart and was a very good big brother. And I think that trickled down, you know, to Matt, which then trickled down to Josh. Like, I think he really helped to make it a good situation. And I think you got on top of those things right away. I did. If you let it fester, it's hard to kind of bring it back down to a level where you can manage it.

So you're doing a good job if you tell Griffin, hey, be good, your little brother. Don't hit him. Don't be mean. All those kind of things. And he realizes, oh, this is my little brother. I got to be good to my little brother. And I think that's important to learn at early age. Because later on, don't have some issues.

There's so much ugliness in the world and people beating up on each other. We're gonna be good to each other in this house. And I think we might have talked about that last time, not every night, but a lot of nights we'd go around the table and everybody had to compliment, say one nice thing about each person. Remember that.

It sounds kind of corny, but you gotta look for the positive. It lifts them up. It lifts you up. It's like people that I've watched in your comments where people say negative things about you, and it's like, I don't understand why people would follow somebody just so they can haunt them and say something negative.

Just be positive. You know, be positive. I agree with you, dad. I agree with you. I agree with you, dad. I agree with you. I agree with you, dad. I agree with you, dad.

I agree with you, dad. I agree with you, dad. I agree with you, dad. I agree with you, dad. I agree with you, dad. I agree with you, dad. I agree with you, dad. are doing a good job raising these two little boys and they would want nothing better than for their fan base to enjoy their friends and family and do good for each other. And you guys do that, so thank you. That's really nice, thanks dad. That's so nice.

They're literally like, I'm smart biggest fans. It's so sweet. You guys, I feel you guys listen to every podcast. That is the one. Almost, 90%. But yeah, too much. You watch every podcast for YouTube video. Almost.

We watched something that will disclose some things that we don't know about that we didn't know about. Like, they need to speak the same dinner. You guys watch every episode. I'm like, oh my gosh. That's why you say, oh my gosh, but parents are gonna watch this. This is uncomfortable.

Yeah. And this is what we watched. We send you a message. Yeah, like Groupon someone said they used Groupon. I think you guys figured out that we conceived our child that they used to give me. Yeah. So. You go, my mom used to screw upon all the time.

You are a big group on her. You are big into Kuba's mom. You have stashes of coupons in your house everywhere. You used to. So is it now a virtual? Yes, more virtual now. But that's nice. You have less clutter.

Is mom decluttering a little bit? What a blessing. Yeah. There's things that she's getting rid of. One thing I've started to do for her is I get her flowers about once a month. She really likes flowers. That's even almost like one to week. That's nice. Good job, Dad. Right before they clear out all flowers in the cemetery, that's why you usually go in and get something else. You're going to find some really good decorations. So that's that got funnier as he's gotten older. Yeah. You think

I'm funny. Okay. So this is the thing, you know, when you have three kids and I stayed home some and work part time some and you're always just saving for them and their college, you know, I was like, I don't need flowers. Like that's just a waste of money, it's frivolous. I always said that. And now I'm like having a different mindset.

I'm like, Josh is a junior, you and Caleb are at gone. I wanna have flowers sometimes. So almost, it's almost every week you get flowers. Yeah, so much the flowers, just the idea of that. It's so beautiful. I'm thinking of her and I come home flowers and she goes, oh my gosh, he thought about me so.

So I have him Friday, Saturday, Sunday. I work from home Monday and I just can sit with them and it's nice. We're Abby, that's coffee. I'll go and get her a coffee like almost every morning and she loves it. It was crazy. The first coffee. I'll go and get her a coffee like almost every morning and she loves it. It was crazy. The first time that I did it,

the day was just amazing. She was so happy. It was just a great day. And I thought, man, I need to do this. You said it's not about the actual thing is that you thought of us. Right. Right.

Yeah. And I think about you all the time, but usually I don't accompany it by an action so if I have an action that accompanies that then you're aware oh about me all the time of course positive thoughts by the way can we just can we just spam the comments with Abby look so cute in her headband you know why she never wears headbands but this little headband she's wearing today is so cute I love it I've never seen you wear Alice I haven't seen you wear a headband in years

I don't know why you never wore it one but it's so cute. I thought it drew too much attention to my ears. I think you have cute ears They're really pretty you're really really pretty. I have little ears. You're just I'm really you're a lovely mom and it looks so good as a mom It's really helpful to keep your hair out of your face. Yeah, especially nursing. I'm like looking down. Yeah, yeah Yeah, this is great. So, sitting in the headbands. I know, I just got two more headbands from Amazon for $5.25. No way, wait, is it because I complimented it last night?

Yeah. And then you were like, I want to get more of these. No, you complimented it. It's cute. Oh, I did that today. That's right, that's right. So I just did buy now. Oh, before I forget, so we ate at a restaurant with these two this afternoon,

and on the way out, some fans recognize you, and you guys do a great job when somebody recognized you and you took pictures of these little kids and it meant the world to this little girl to be able to hit her picture taken, which you guys. Yeah, that was precious. So that's something that I've watched and observed because if it was in your position, I might be tired, I don't wanna do it.

You guys just light up and it's really neat to see how you guys support your fans. Support your fans and just react to how fans are so happy because they're going to see you one time, maybe in a whole life, and for you to take your time out of your day to support that, I guess, they're interested in you and take pictures that's really neat. That's so nice. That's so nice. Oh, it's really important I see that.

Thank you. Thank you. Well, back to the raising boys thing, I totally forgot my question. I'm a kid. You guys. That's a deficit. You guys got married, but then you waited almost five years. Yeah. I'm a kid. Whoa, whoa. Hold on. We got married in 92. Killa was born in 96. And that was in your 30s, because I told Abby other day, we could literally wait like eight years to have more children and that would be in our 30s Just like you did because you were 30 and dab was 32 and you had Caleb, right? Yeah, I think you know We dated two years and then got engaged and then we're engaged a year

So we were together three years before we got married and then yeah, we waited four and a half before we had Caleb. So really, we were together seven and a half years. And I really, we just always talked, unfortunate, like, no one in my family had ever divorced, and but my mom and dad did, right? When we were getting married. So we were like, okay, we really want to make sure this is right. You know, there's no need to rush.

And unfortunately, John's family, his dad, that happened quite a bit. And so we were like, we don't want this to right. There's no need to rush. And unfortunately, John's family, his dad, that happened quite a bit. So we were like, we don't want this to happen. With this is forever. We're getting, this is a covenant. Yeah, I was very concerned about making the wrong decision and getting divorced. I wanted to make sure I waited until I,

so we waited to get married. We knew after three months, we were gonna get married. But we waited three years just to get, because you need to go through all the ups and downs and all, you know, there's going to be valleys, there's going to be mountains and there were and, you know, we did it. And then we were like, let's just enjoy our time and then have kids and not think, oh, I wish we could go out and I wish we could do this and I wish, you know, we had some fun. And then we were ready to stay home, you know, and we

And so we're committed for life. I said We would never get divorced. One of us would just be dead Don't do that. I can't. It's a joke. I see you watching date line all the time. Yeah, I'm a 400 hour date I she knows how to get rid of me and my body would never be found how to kill your husband It's always how to kill your wife. You're right here folks. You know if there's everything anything ever happens to my parents, you know how it happened. Matt, there's no way that we could drag your dead bodies anywhere. Think about how heavy we'd be. Yeah. I'll give you a little bit of this right now. You're gonna have to listen to crime junkie.

It's like a crime junkie. I would have to push you off of a cliff or something. I think those how to kill people very efficiently. If you listen to this stuff all the time. It's the interesting stuff. It's honestly, I feel like it's a woman's innate urge to figure out how to stay alive because it's always the women. Right. 99% of the women is the guy doing it.

I heard about that one where the two best friends ended up like having a little something come up in. One of the best friends hooked up with his other best friends wife and then they murdered the best friend. Yeah, but she had a man who was, well I guess she was, she was the culprit. She was the one that convinced. They said that he got eaten by crocodiles.

It wasn't true, she just had the guy. Okay, let's go. It's just really good. Yeah, let just had the guy go. Okay, let's go. It's just really bad. Yeah, I think about positive things. Yeah, yeah. Okay. But I think that stuff is selfish when people make those decisions, you know, selfish.

Yeah. Yeah. This episode is sponsored by SeatGeek. We love using SeatGeek to find the best deals on shows, games, everything up from the buff. Everything from the buff. And we actually went to a show on my birthday a year and a half ago using SeekEak.

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find deals. You can literally do it right on your phone or your computer if you're old school. Yeah, I've used it much more frequently than just a year and a half ago. I think that was just the first time we actually know it wasn't the first time. Wait, was that the first time you see geek? No, but we've used it before that we've used it many times since I even looked recently for us to go the Nutcracker. It is the best most simple app. And you know, we came through for you guys. We have a code. Use our code unplanned for $20 off tickets at Sea Geek. That's $20 off your first purchase with promo code unplanned.

Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app. Thank you. Now back to the episode. You didn't have kids for, you said three and a half years? Four and a half. Just to make sure they're gonna stay together. But dad, I remember there was a time in your life where you thought you would never get married and you thought you would never have kids. Why did you decide to have kids? What changed?

So a short skirt and tan legs. That's so awful. That's weird. Up pretty deep. No, I'm a shallow guy. I saw mom, I was like, wow, she is hot. So I just walked right over to her and introduced myself in the rest of the history.

There's much prettier women that you saw before. Hey, you know what? Who's the gal that reminds me of you and I took a picture, compared your eyes or her eyes? Oh, no, I don't look anything like her. What's her name? No, what's her name? Heidi Klum. Heidi Klum and mom have the same eyes. Oh, no, I don't look anything like her. Just don't know what's her name. Like Heidi clue.

Heidi so Heidi clue. My mom have the same eyes and nose. So I took a picture of mom and Heidi gloom. She was what are you doing? I said hang on a second. I added it and showed both of them. And her eyes and nose. He's in his eyesight.

Similar. Maybe she's your other soul mate. You know, maybe she's the other. She is. They could have worked out with. No, I think your mother is beautiful and I couldn't be happier. That doesn't make sense.

But you went from not wanting to get married to kids. But yeah, the kids, the kids, the kids, the kids, I didn't think I could be happy being married and having to deal with kids and all the stuff that goes on with kids. I just wanted to be rich, famous, and do whatever I wanted to do. It just feel about me.

And then I had two guys that worked with Mike. And I can't remember. So when he, I was talking to two of them. And one guy was traveling, going to Hawaii, and he just had a great time. And Mike was married, had three daughters, and he spent all his time on his kids, and money on his kids.

And they were doing dance classes and everything. And he drove an older vehicle, and the other guy had a hot rod car and I was like I don't be like the other guy and not be like Mike and Mike sat me down he is my boss and he goes now look someday you're gonna wish you had a family and it's gonna be important that you have family and family is more important than a car it's gonna rod and rust and everything else and he he was right. So, look at me. I'm blessed to have a wonderful son, grandson, and great daughter-in-law, and I couldn't be happier.

You really wished you had a daughter though. Yes, yeah. But somebody else had a granddaughter. You think so? We're trying, you think it's gonna happen? Yeah, we will. I think. When you got married, though,

it was, did you guys always know that you were going to have kids or was that a topic of time? Yeah, we talked about it. It was just a quanny. We're going to have. And we wanted three and I wanted three. So that was good. We always said three.

Oh, I don't know why. That's really good. And people say, oh, when you ride the roller coaster, you have an odd person, all this weird stuff. It's like, how often are you on a roller coaster? Exactly. John or I also belong. Oh, if you're in a booth having dinner at a restaurant,

you can have a set of four, having five is difficult, but sometimes spouse is not there. One of the kids is going to a friend's house, and then one day somebody said, well, now you got your golf for some. So I got three boys of myself. I said, yep, someday, I'll have to take my boys out and have her golf for some.

We've never done it, but we'd never done it. It'd be cool to do that. But I actually wanted all three boys. John, unfortunately, like most people in middle school, I was bullied, you know, my eighth grade year, and girls were lying, saying I was doing all these wild things that I didn't even know what they were. I was just so clean cut.

And I was crying myself to sleep every night and I was like, for a period. You know, and I thought, I am miserable. Like, if this was my daughter, I would want to go up to school and ring some necks and you can't do that. You know what I mean? So I thought, most of my friends were guys.

They're just, this is a compliment, like, simpler, straightforward, say it like it is, move on. And so I had mostly guy friends, and I was like, God, I just went three boys, just three boys. And so I wanted that. Now, John, he wanted a girl. But I think if I had a girl, he'd have forgot about me. And when you were working full time as an engineer,

you started to have kids, which by the way, congratulations on, I didn't realize as a kid how cool that was that my mom got her engineering degree. I didn't realize how hard that was to do. And I'd realize that you were like a pioneer in that too, because not very many women went to school and got a civil engineering degree and did what you did. So like, good off to you, mom.

That's awesome that you did that. People do a lot harder things. But when you start to have kids, why did you decide to quit your job and become a sit-home mom? Well, I feel so bad for people that have to work, unless they want to work outside the home. You know, some women do, but I wanted to raise my own kids. I wanted to be a stay-home mom,

but we had some financial issues, so I worked part-time with you and Caleb. I worked 20 hours a week, and then with Josh, it was just too much because dad was working lots of hours and all weekend, and so I stayed home full-time, and then I went back part time. And now I'm full time again now that everybody's out of the house.

But I wanted to raise my kids. I thought, why am I having kids if I'm not going to be a part of their life? You know what I mean? But like I said, some people can't afford it. And I don't know how, you guys have said that too. I don't know how single parents do it. I don't, that you guys have said that too. I don't know how single parents do it. I don't, that would be the most difficult job.

And people that work outside the home and a single parent, you know, it's just, woo, but anyway, I love being a mom and I just had the degree to fall back on and it's served us well, right? A few times that Dad's had some job challenges and I could step up and that's what being a partner is about. And you're back now, you're back working full-time as a year, that's pretty cool. For five and a half years.

Well, Tob was working in a sales capacity, it's a performance space. So you can have a good year, have a bad year, and if you don't have a good year, just like a professional athlete, you know, they can't keep around if you're not driving in runs or pitching well. So, in sales, if you're not hitting your numbers, you know, they don't keep you. So that's why I think you guys have been a little gun shy

about going to sales career or something different now. But, you know, I think sales career is a great career, but sometimes it's pretty tough, because no matter what you do, sometimes you just can't close that deal and it's tough. When you look back on memories of raising me and my two brothers and what those times look like, are there certain moments that you wish you could go back to

or there's certain times that you felt, oh, maybe I was working. Who is your most trouble making child? Well, we've already discussed that. Who is it? I wonder who it is. You. Was that the hardest to race of all the boys?

I think you just had a lot of questions. And I think that's probably the biggest thing is, Keith, I'm going to ask the questions you asked, but you were very curious about how things work and why things happened and questions about Santa Claus, and this is gonna air right before Santa or before Christmas. You were like figuring things out about Santa Claus that other kid your age hadn't thought about and you just, I don't know, you just kind of were very aware of everything that's going on. You asked a lot of questions. I remember drilling you about Santa Claus. Oh, yeah. I drilled you hard. Because once I figured everything out,

I was like, okay, so then the same must be true about the tooth fairy, the Easter bunny, you know, all these people. Yeah, you challenged your mother big time and you saw a gift in the back of the car. No, that was true. Yeah, actually. Kale figured out, with me, we had an interrogation,

like, room essentially, in second grade, me and my buddies, well, we were kind of like interrogating. We were just like thinking, it was like Santa was on trial, and all, like me and all my friends were like, okay, what is the evidence? Like, what are you guys seeing in your house that I actually think that Santa's real?

And we really, and we started to figure it out. That's so cute. Yeah, and that's pretty advanced to think and talk like that because a lot of little boys are age. That's the last thing they think of. I've just always questioned that. You yes. I wanted to know why.

I didn't want to know, oh, this is just the way we do things. I wanted to know the reason why, because I don't know. I didn't want to just accept that face value. This is why we do things and I'm not going to explain to you. And that's what everybody said. He's smart is why he asked questions. He wouldn't stop asking questions and I would answer like 10 in 20 minutes and then I'm like, okay I've hit my limit mom just because mother said we're moving on because I was exhausted

How should we approach the birds and the bees talk with our kids? I think you let them ask about those things. Don't tell them things that they're not ready for. Okay. So what's that call when you wait to them to get to age appropriate with these asking questions. And don't bring it up and try to force something that's not ready to be exposed to your children. Yeah, wait for this.

What if they don't ask? And then you just let it go. What if they, what if they, what if they're like, they're eighth grade. You know by eighth grade, they've already figured it out. Yeah, eighth grade, they usually kind of know that there's something going on. So I would ask questions and see where they're at

with a thought process, but don't force it on them to through their body, but maybe ask some questions. Yeah, I think you're totally right about that, but I almost think that if your kid is getting a little bit older, you need to have a conversation because you wanna make sure they're not learning everything from kids in school or from the internet. Correct, I wasn't told anything. And my parents are like, oh yeah, we did. because you want to make sure they're not learning everything from kids in school or from the internet. Correct. Because that's not-

I wasn't told anything. And my parents were like, oh yeah, we did. I'm like, I think I would know. If you'd be a memorable conversation. Yeah. Did you have the birds and bees talk with your parents, dad? We lived in a way from a lot of other families. We lived in a rural environment.

And then we moved to this place with Wisconsin where I had some neighbors and there were girls. And then we were playing,-a-bottle, kissing and everything. So then my dad had a conversation about the birds and the bees because he knew that we were playing spin-a-bottle. Oh, I thought it was good.

So you were about to say that it was good because you live on a farm and that's how many animals. And that's how many animals. Wow. So A3, we were playing spin-a-bottle and my dad found out that my brother and I were going over to the neighbor's house

plane, spent a bottle of the girls, and he would make sure that we knew that we got to be careful. Did they have sex education in school when you guys were kids? No. Not 10th thing. In a high school. Not, I don't remember it ever. They didn't.

I was pretty sure they gave each kid a banana. I'm like, here's a condom here, so you put a banana on it. Which, why would they even need to do that? Now that you think about it like? Wow. Yeah. I mean, like that seems pretty. I don't know I guess.

Straight forward. I know it's probably straight forward but people are kids are stupid man. Like kids do some stupid stuff. You got to make it pretty, you got to make the instructions pretty simple. Yeah you're right. You think they used a cucumber and not a banana? I don't know man. Neither's great.

It's okay enough on that. Oh my gosh. What was the most onry thing Matt did growing up? I'm just curious. Onry. What was something onry that you can share here on the American Idol logo on our carpet when I was five? Yeah. Because I really wanted to be on American Idol.

They were kids markers, but they weren't waterproof. Yeah. They were permanent. Who has kids markers that are permanent? And then I think the biggest arguments were over the silly helmet. Oh, yeah. And now you're the helmet man. I love, I think helmets are great.

You guys made your point. But I see, I like to have fun safely. I call it safely sending it. So if I'm going to do something fun, I want to make sure I'm doing the most to make to ensure that I'm safe in case I fall off, right? Because there's so many stupid ways to die or stupid ways to get paralyzed or have a concussion. You might as well throw the helmet on and all the day. I guess probably one of the on-re things he did, he's very, once he gets a mindset, he's gonna do it.

So when you start dating Abby, and she lived in Quincy, you're like, I have to go visit Abby two hours away, two hours. Guys, 18 years old, I guess they started getting out of my career. So you just started driving two years before and also you're driving by yourself, all the time, all the time, all the time,cy by yourself. These little words.

These little words. And you're just taking off. And one time I think you said, I've gone there and you're like, no you're not. No, you're not. And then we track your life through 60. Okay. You're almost. That's one.

I remember that. And you guys called my parents and you told them, hey, just so you know, we told him not to go. I mean, what them them to think we were crazy Like I think it was a school night or something. I think I might have been off school the next day I don't know I had one month left of school. I was 18 about to turn 19 I was going into college and so you guys say no you can't visit your girlfriend and I said I don't know about that But that sounds drastic when you you were seeing her like every week. It's not like we were saying

I would say like was old enough to be in college, so I know But that sounds drastic when you you were seeing her like every week. It's not like we were saying you can't see I was old enough to be in college, so I know Yeah, that was not the good move to on that what you talked about that Can I mom I'll be back. I was I wasn't hold back. It was the gift of time. That's right It was a blessing. I kept it medicated though for ADHD. You know you wouldn't have your creativity No, I could probably just taking it maybe like a day or two a week. No I've been medicated though for ADHD. You know, you wouldn't have your creativity. No, it would have probably just taken it

maybe like a day or two a week. No. I'm just really glad to see you. The thing is you did is you were in the box and you wanted to ask your two homecoming or something. Yeah. And so Lori helped out with this gift idea. So you showed up with this box in the front.

You've shown it. Yeah, front porch. And they just ended their song. They just released with Abby Laff and if you coming out of that box, I thought it was a real cute way to end that story. So I wasn't trying to narc on you, letting her parents know. I wanted them to know we were responsible parents and we were not just allowing you to drive up there because you were going up there a lot.

Yeah. And here you're in high school. You were in love. I was so in love. You still in love. You still in love. I was so in love. You still in love. You still in love. Yeah, and we're like, we didn't say this was okay. Because I knew they weren't letting you drive

because it was small little roads. Yeah. It wasn't an interstate. It was pretty dicey. That was all I knew. I didn't know how to drive on an interstate. So how are you guys going to keep this fire going? That's one of the things that we try to do as a relationship.

So, I mean, we're trying to keep, I think by being a positive, intentional, that's the word, intentional. It has to be intentional. You know, I would bring your flowers, I massage your back every time, but there's kind of a time we fight, but then the makeup is fun too.

After you've been fighting, you can make up. And that's fun. Dad, that is so weird. What? The makeup is fun. You don't have to be dumb. I'm not talking about mascara. I know you're not talking about mascara, man.

This is where Matt gets it from by the way. Yeah, no, no. I'm, I'm, I'm intentional to a fault, actually. I don't like go with the flow. I don't like whatever. But the good part of that is like yeah every night we eat and he helps me clean up but then I'm like okay are we gonna read a book together we'll read you know and talk about it or

go for a walk together and talk we always or intention about what are we doing together every night right and I think that's important now you can't you guys necessarily but once everybody's gone, you got at least have your 10 minutes of being intentional or whatever, you know, with kids. But yeah, it's pretty wild to me just because we don't have a normal perspective on life in a lot of ways. But especially because we work together all day, every day. Yeah. Yeah. Whereas like you guys have your time at night where it's like this is our intentional time,

so it's like we have to be figuring out, where do we put this in the middle of our day? But I think it's good that you break away to go work out and then Matthew does work and even though he's in the house, he's breaking away, he's kinda doing some things on his own. So I think it's healthy and I think it's healthy once in a while that you do something with Some guy friends or have to be on the calendar

It you know like with you guys having so much it has to be written down It has to be on the phones or it won't happen Can you go on an ashram do some recording so that's breaking away from family? Yeah, you guys have like a weekly date night that you have planned every year You do something well we watched like the voice that's kind of our thing to do. We go on dates either of Friday or Saturday going to date. We'd love to go to Joey Bees and sit outside with the fire pits and everything. That's where Josh used to work.

It feels like you're on vacation. Speaking of Missouri, do you think you'll ever move out of Missouri? I know. They're talking about all these home renovations and we're like, no. No. Wait a second, are you gonna leave that house? Is all of your grandkids are in Arizona. Well, we'll see.

I mean, someday. I really like the four seasons. I like the green grass. I like seeing the deer in my backyard. I like a house. And they make fun of me about the deer. You're the one who loves the deer. The deer on your ingress.

He says the pictures of the deer about every other week. Like that, I get it. You have deer in The girl on your ingress. He said to be pictures of the deer about every other week. Like that, I get it. You have deer in your backyard. Squirrels, rabbits, birdies, animals. I hated those deer. When I was a seven year old, I was trying to grow a garden

and they kept eating all my land. They all my tomatoes, they ate all my potatoes. All my potatoes. Potatoes. There was a couple summers. Yeah, he really did work hard. You were like a little farmer. Yeah, now you use my garden as like a dumping ground

for all of your craft clippings. That's how I grew. Canas and alphaniers in it this year. No way. Because the deer don't like canas and alphaniers. I learned that those. He's became a plant and a bird man. Those plants are not appealing to the deer.

It's a plant. But yeah, I got like four or five hummingbird feed Those plants are not appealing to the deer. A plant. But yeah, I got like four or five hummingbird feeders and it's fun to watch them. It just sits out there and watches this hummingbird. I'm gonna hold. Oh guy. For me, like I'm 25 and when I turn 25, I'm like, oh, frick, I'm a quarter of a way to 100.

Like my life is not infinite. Matthew. And so is that scary to be in your 50s and think, okay, now I'm having grandkids. I don't know, you just realized my life doesn't last forever. Like I have a time clock on this earth. So is that freaky at all with, do I stay in St. Louis?

Do we move? Do we do part time in Arizona and part time in Missouri? Cause that's what a lot of snowboards do. What have you guys thought about that? Well, we're not trying to pressure. No, we will always come back and visit. Yeah, we will. No, I totally, especially Josh now moving on and you guys having kids.

It's really weird. It's fortunate and unfortunate. My job when someone passes, we get an email and, you know, just to show the visitation and if we want to send a card or go to the, you know, and I mean, like every other week, someone in their 50s is passing. And, you know, we're 57 and 59, I don't care. And, you know, whatever. And so that's, that's kind of when I step back and I'm like, I've always been a saver, I've always been saving for a rainy day

and always waiting to enjoy this or enjoy that. And I'm like, I'm gonna start enjoying things. Like, you know, we've came here a lot, out here a lot for us because we're always, we're so conservative and saving our money and everything. But I'm like, what else are we living for? If it's not for our kids and our grandkids, like I want to, if they'll have us, I want to go out there and see them. Always have you. Yes. But I know someday, if you, if you guys stay here,

we will definitely be coming. It's just, you know, we have a lot of friends. I have my group of women Bible study, John does, and we our couples and we just we have our people right but You're our favorite people. It's just that we're the favorite kids. No our kids are our favorite people And our children may not Caleb and Abigail our children, but anyway, it's it's it's gonna be hard It's a little easier now with the technology to keep up with your family and friends. And it's fun to watch you guys do this podcast or Instagrams. So I just feel like I'm getting a snippet

of what you're doing every day. And I'm almost getting more insight as what you're doing than if I was even out here. Cause you're filming so much that I'm saying, oh my gosh. I didn't realize that this is so important to you. And I think that's weird. The things that you've done and things that make you laugh like the interview of you

interviewing Caleb and Abigail. Yeah, there's a lot of That I learned by watching those videos. It was fun. That's hilarious. Yeah, so we're talking about things in that interview that you A lot of that communicate better with your parents. Well, some of the stuffies don't realize because it's the girls to us. Yeah, and you know with the birth. We learned something that he tells us. She was talking about how she was scared that she could have died.

And being there alone so long. I didn't know that stuff until the podcast. I didn't realize she was that fearful in what was going on. And she probably wanted to go there and talk about it because it's very scary. Yeah, so that kind of stuff, you know, you see what somebody went through without having to

have them address it and bring up those hurts. But I'd rather be in person. Yeah, but that didn't allow me to learn about what she went through and how scary it was for her because you were a crime. And now it's crime watching you cry. I was going to ask you. Everybody was crying. Oh my gosh.

Why is it that dad's the emotional one and you're not mom and I'm just like you, I get it from you, I'm not emotional. Cause she's mean. Okay, you don't have to visually show it to mean that you're not hurt inside. You don't have to cry. I'm hurting inside, but that doesn't mean

I have to show it. Do you fight the tears or they just not? I cannot fathom not being an emotional person. I don't understand. I think since I was raised, my dad was pretty tough, and we were all girls at the time when I was home. It was always like, you know, you shouldn't cry, tough it up, like be tough. And so that was like considered a weakness, which is sad. That's not right.

I mean, but that's how I was right. You know what I mean? So that's just kind of how I am. I guess it's just emotional. They're more so than me, but I'm the oldest. I think it was the first born kind of, you know, suck it up for the family, you know, whatever. But I mean, John's the teary one, I know. Oh my gosh, I hate it. I hate being emotional. But my dad died, I was asked to be the one that would speak on this funeral.

So when I got up there, I started off with a little joke. I thought, okay, if I can get a read of laugh, it'll help me get through this. So I said, and I'm serious, there's two things I hate to do in front of people. And I said to cry is one, and the other one is to throw up But I hope I can get through this without doing either one So that's how I started off. So people kind of giggle and then I got into it and it was just tough to talk about

Some of you love and care for so much and are not gone. You're never gonna see them again That's horrible. Yeah, so anyway, I just emotional and I guess I become a more emotional as a good older You said not be as much. Yeah, and I don't know what it is As you get older you're getting more emotional. I think so Softy my cousin told me before he died he says I think it's just as you get more Experiences you become a little more vulnerable. Yeah, and you have more experiences with my cousin juxtapod I'm aunt Ruth. I called up to share my thoughts and feelings, and I couldn't even get the words out. I was just tough.

And here I was calling to console him. And I'm like, That happens to me. Yeah, I hate it. I hate it. And you're in a funeral and you're going to see somebody and you're walking through. Sometimes I don't even know the family that well.

And I'm like, can you choked up? I was like, this is somebody I barely know and I'm getting. But it's tough when you see other people cry. That means you're an empath. Yeah. Is that what people say? Or at least empathetic, I don't know. Yeah, that's my dad's definitely a empathetic.

That's me, like, people I will go visit to like, send my regards if someone's past and then they end up consoling me and I'm so mortified. I'm like, no, not, sorry. I can't control it. This episode is sponsored by NutriFull. Hair thinning impacts a lot of us. In fact, over half of us will experience hair thinning.

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It's interesting how it's the mom's dad. I can already see a little bit going out. That's actually why I started taking Neutralful because that too, the hair thinning thing. Yeah, your hair has been thinning just a little bit. I don't really notice it, but Matt's very insecure about it, but I also can say that my hair is thinning

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and free shipping when you go to neutrophil.com and enter the promo code unplanned. Find out why over 4,000 healthcare professionals recommend Neutrophil for healthier hair. Neutrophil.com spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L. Promo code unplanned. That's Neutrophil.com promo code unplanned. Now back to the episode. I know mom when we were talking about Abigail and how she felt like she might be close to death when she was giving birth this year. And I think you had a similar experience

when you were giving birth to Kayla, my older brother, in 1996. What? Tell me about that. Because I'm sure you probably could relate listening to the podcast. You were probably freaking out probably really scared when You're giving birth to was he was he ten pounds was he over ten pounds ten pounds four ounces? Wow

Yeah, and she had a vein coming over forehead Push in so hard and I didn't see that oh my gosh I was like and they had a suction cup out and four steps and my my son They don't use those anymore. I don't think. Is this going to be okay? Am I going to lose him? Is he going to be born with birth defects and stuff like that happens? No, when they decide to do a C-section.

Oh my gosh, I was scared to see that. Why did they not decide to do a C-section? I don't know. We're young and stupid, we didn't know this was our first child. We don't go like, when did you do a C-section? You know I mean. You guys didn't have the internet. How did you learn about any of this stuff?

Did you just go to classes? You had to go to birthing classes, you know, the system and your doctor and the they think about the nurses and yeah, but If things don't Because this is not supposed to be a perfect world. So we're not gonna get out of this thing without having well, okay, so I know I knew it was big, but I didn't know how big. They just said they thought he was over nine pounds. Josh, they told me they thought he was over 10 pounds. They did know.

But anyway, it was my water broke, so I said, thank you, God, because I was thinking I wouldn't know. I was afraid I wouldn't know, because they said, happening every five minutes for an hour long, you know, all these crazy things. And like, so I'm thankful my water broke and got there and I did have- Were you full term? Yes, I was just a few days before.

Okay. And, you know, that whole story I had him a day before, Audrey. Yeah, my cousin. We had a car phone. I can't believe that. John had like, I know we called Cindy.

That's so weird. I'm just a built in car phone, but the technology it wasn't as good as it was. I can't believe, I can't think of a world without smartphones. Oh no, oh no. So a car phone is a very easy thing. But that was cool. It was like a thing in the car.

Yeah. So you called your sister on your car phone? Because she was supposed to deliver before me. She was due before me. Okay. And so she was already past her date. So they were going to induce her on Tuesday. And this is Sunday night, my water broke.

And I'm calling her at like 11 p.m. And she knew, why would I be calling it on a living room? She goes, you are not headed to the hospital. I'm like, yes. And she goes goes and I'm the oldest and she second She's like you just could not let me beat you in one thing Why can't you win it one thing? You're competitive. You're a very competitive. You're we play family games on family game night You want to beat that? That's why I just sit back and you know play I mean

I mean Roles yeah, I don't break the rules when you disclosed your mom that we're gonna have a baby. And then right after that your sister disclosed that choosing to have a baby your mom was like in big time shock. And then here it is fast forward on how many years later 25 years you and your brother both disclosed you're gonna have babies about the same time. Yeah. And that was in its own our little video frame and our kitchen where you guys disclose the fact in Griffiths' Gava Baby Brother, and then they all looked at each other,

it's like you said it again, and it was unbelievable. And then you come to Thanksgiving, was it two years ago, and I'll say that you're gonna have a baby, and then announcing that you're gonna have another baby, the same day as K-the-er. This year. Well, that's why we did it at the same time,

because we knew the story that you guys had with you and your sister. Oh, okay. So we thought how cool is this that, yeah, 27 years later, this is happening all over again. I guess last year, it had been 26 years, last year. Yeah. So Griffin and CJ are three weeks apart.

So my dad, two or three weeks apart. Yeah. So back to me, not that it's about me. But, yeah, so I had pushed for hours. I had an epidural, but you know, they say after a while, okay, now we want you start pushing, I could not lift this leg because it felt like I don't want to be too graphic for people that are going to have babies still, but felt like someone was stabbing me with a knife. Like right here, every time this leg got lifted. So dad had to stand on this side and lift my leg every time I push because I couldn't

do it. I wanted him out, but I it hurt too bad. I didn't know if it was a boy or girl. So I hold my hand talking to her through it and I'm, you know, being in medical sales. I was in surgery a lot. And I just wanted to see what was going on. So I stick a peak and she's, we even focus on me. I didn't run him down there.

You know, I'm like, so it hurt, yeah, pretty bad. And yeah, like he said, they had the four steps and this thing that looks like a toilet plunger. It looks like a plunger that they pull and three people got on top of me. The doctor, the abdement. We're pushing on. It was like The doctor. The doctor was pushing on me. It was like unbelievable.

I was like, oh my gosh. Did they stick the four steps up there to pull Caleb out of the set? No, his head started to come out, but he wasn't, like the shoulders weren't coming out. So they're like pulling on his head and trying to move his shoulders. Oh, and the other thing they had a team in there for him

because he had swallowed. Yeah, what is it called? Mark Kosohn. Mark Kosohnium? What is it called? Arcosum. Amianic fluid? No, no, what is it called? Mark Kosohn. Mark Kosohnium? What is it called? Amniotic fluid? No, no, no, it's the poop. There's a better name for it.

So all you people in the medical world are. So there was like, it rhymes with Mark Kosohnium, I think. Yeah, I can't think of the word right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a terrible word. We look silly. Watch the comments, but we don't know how to spell it. And so there was a whole team around his little bed. When he came out too, because I had to take that out

You know, so you didn't get that in his lungs Anyway, so it all worked out fine, but yeah, I went to way M and he was 10-4 and yeah, that was rough but thankfully and then they had like this girl that was studying to be a nurse I couldn't go the restroom. I kept trying, so then had to get the catheter and she was practicing and couldn't, and I'm like, can we finally just get someone that knows what they're doing? I'm very sorry. Yeah, you told me she was sticking you with a needle to like draw your blood and like run tests on you or what exactly. Well, to do the catheter. Oh, she's gonna put a catheter in and she

couldn't put it in. Because she was like practicing, you know, she was yeah So I'm like I can't handle any more pain. Can you please get some? So here it is mcconium Aspirations syndrome occurs when a newborn breeze a mixture of mcconium and amniotic fluid into the lungs around a time of delivery MEC oh in I am so mcconium. I don't know how they just like when we're at dinner as a family and He's sesame and then you go on your phone, we're like, what is Dad doing? I like to be informed. And then five minutes later, you're like,

Makoneo. Man. Was it like traumatic enough that you were like scared for the second maybe? Or? Obviously not, because Matt was 19 months later. Yeah, I guess that's the blessing that you kind of forget, not forget, but it's

not as bad. And it was also wonderful. We really weren't wanting to have one that quick, but we thought we might have some challenges because a lot of our friends, it took a while for them to have their second baby. I don't know why. We're like, we might as well try, but we are blessed that we look at each other and get pregnant. Like every one of you were the first time, the first try. So we got pregnant the first try and you were super easy because he was nine too. Comparative 10, four. Oh yes, the first was a brilliant one.

And it was only 19 months. Okay. Yeah, I won't say what I normally would say. What, what would you, he said that I was the runt, right? You came out easy. No, I said I've had worse bowel movements. Oh my gosh.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Crazy. She did everything for you that it's just so hard to fathom. Like, That gave me a lot of respect for you guys. Going through raising two boys,

like I realized how much you did for me and I don't think I quite Have expressed that Yeah, I don't know I you guys are amazing parents I did so much for me and my brothers and I don't know if I'd properly thank you for everything you did raising me It's about darn time Nursing you for 14 months 14 months did raising me and it's about darn time. Nursing uniform. Nursing uniform. 14 months. 14 months.

14 months. I didn't even get 14. I thought you did a year. No. You're getting on the school bus and it's like, come on. He's got a guy on the bus. I don't know where 14. Caleb just did 14 and then I was pregnant with you.

So then I was like, oh, I have to, like you were, you know, you have to stop. No, and for the women that can't and it's hard and like, I know one of my sisters, it was a difficult thing and they wouldn't latch and, you know, don't beat yourself up and, but I thought it was going to be weird and like, I don't know if I can do this, but I ended up loving it and enjoying it. And because my mind kind of never shuts off and is always working, it was a time that I could felt relaxed and just enjoy my time with a baby and not feel guilty that I wasn't doing something.

Were you working part time while I was a baby or did you completely go full-time being a mom by then? Yeah, so your whole until Josh was born, which was four years later, I worked part time. So those two days that I went into work, I pumped. Okay. I went. It was so weird back then. It was in a restroom.

Like they didn't even have a room for me. But it was the handicap restroom and it was big. And there was a desk like in a chair for me to pump in there. Wow. So I did that with Caleb and you, you know. Were you treated fairly as a mom who was trying to work? Did you feel as if you had any loopholes to go through or roadblocks and some of who's trying to work and also be a mom?

I think especially back then, it was all engineers. It was mostly all men. I think they were respectful. Okay. The only weird thing was having to be in the bathroom. And now it's not that way. There's a real room for a couple of the moms, right where I did in this bathroom,

next door is a little room for these two women on my floor. So that's awesome. And now they get maternity leave, and there's actually paternity leave. Like I had to use my sick leave invocation. Wow. Like I wasn't sick. You know, but that's okay.

I'm not mad. I'm glad things have gotten better, you know, for women today. So. Did you guys have any troubles postpartum? Did you experience any postpartum depression? Or did you have any challenges that you remember from that time after having kids and trying to figure things out afterward? She did, I think you did a good job.

I know we were very aware of it. There was times when she gets headache once a while, but I'm sure there was probably some times when you were sad and I think it had to do with a lack of sleep, had a lot to do with it. Because there was a few times that I remember you were just having a push through and she's always been very, very tough and amazing about not complaining and pushing through. So I think and I had to do with lack of sleep. Well Caleb, I think Caleb, I got the infection with the milk.

Oh, mastitis. Yes, I believe that was with Caleb. And then with Josh, I had the spinal migraine. Yeah, we're leaving a hospital almost to the parking lot in a headache, it's just terrible. She goes, there's something I can't go home like this. So it was like Thanksgiving day, we were headed out. Yeah, yeah. And we went back, they had to do something called a blood patch, where they take a little bit of blood out and put it

in your back and the headache goes away. And that's what they had to do for you. But I had three do for you. But I had three babies, you know, I had three kids. So I'd go, did Abby have that too? Did they do that? Okay. I know.

Abby, it's migraines a lot, kind of like you do. No, but realize I haven't, I don't know why, but that's something that actually got better with pregnancy. Oh, good. I didn't get hardly any migraines the entire time, I was pregnant both times. Wow.

I know your bastard getting them again, I think. Is he going to see the pregnancy again? Yeah, you need to get pregnant again. Oh my gosh. Oh, sorry. probably any migraines the entire time I was pregnant both times. Wow. I know your back is getting them again I think. Is your head one today? Is your head one today? Yeah, you need to get pregnant again. Oh my gosh. Oh, sorry. Yeah. But then Josh, even though he was 10-5, it wasn't as bad as Caleb because that, you know,

me and my first. But Josh, I went into the doctor four weeks before his birth and I'm thankful the doctor was gone and the nurse practitioner saw me and she just got off maternity leave and I walked in and I always looked like Santa Claus. It's just like all here and she said, oh my gosh, that baby is in the tins and this was a Friday and I'm like, you're kidding. And she's like, no, she did all these different measurements and everything. And she's like, yeah, it's in the tens. I want you here Monday to see the doctor. And I'm almost positive you will be

induced on Tuesday the next day. And so on Monday when I was there, the doctors like, you're not in the tens. She's crazy, all this stuff. Then he looked at the chart, did some measurements, he goes, he's in the 10s. I want you to hear tomorrow. So we came in, he's three and a half weeks early, Josh. They took the fluid to make sure his lungs were developed enough. That's all they did was test that. We got a call and they said, they developed come back in we're gonna Induce and then he was born that night. So you're 36 and a half weeks. Yes. Yeah, crazy Back home with his uncle Joe my my brother's taking Griffin on a Josh the 10-5 Yeah, so I'm also so curious because back in your day Like what did you guys do for birth control? Because IUDs weren't really a thing.

I said everything. Oh, that's why you sleep in separate bedrooms. No, no. No, no. No, no. But did you tell me like when I first mentioned in IUD to your mom, you mom didn't you say that back in your day, there was a big scare with IUDs? Well, she thought you said IDE. Stop it. Improved of explosive device. Or that's IED. IED. IED. IED. But I'm pumped. You're wrong.

I think it was more like tampons and things had caused different issues with women. Okay. Oh yeah, you, your generation didn't use tampons. No. Which like when it was scary. I was like, oh my mom, like I, when I was a kid and I was cleaning your bathroom and cleaning those hairy floors, I always saw your, when I was a kid, I was cleaning your bathroom and cleaning those hairy floors. I always saw your all your...

You cleaned this up like you did a day. All your feminine products would be next to all for cleaning supplies. So I was like, oh, this is a pad, moms use pads. And so, Abby using a tampon, I'm like, this is a completely foreign thing to me. This is like a tampon. I guess my mom scared me to death, you know,

just because of her generation. We learned from our moms. But yeah, and then I our moms. But, um, yeah, and then I tried the pill a few times, but I, it made me feel really bad. I just didn't feel myself and felt, yeah. I felt fine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, but after three boys, dad always said, I will take care of it take care of it. So you never once thought me too, maybe we want a fourth. Well, I did and he said no, no, no, we did. Well, actually after the two kind of like you guys when you were exhausted, when Matt was born,

yeah, dad was like, I think this is enough. I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no, you promised three. You promised to say, let's just give it a time. Give it time. And you did you gave it a decent time. Yeah, four say, let's just give it a time. Give it time. And then you gave it a decent amount of time. Yeah, four years. They're four years apart. Yeah.

Well, I said eight. I was like, the other day, I was like, I was like, you know what, it's really like, we could have chosen our 30s. Maybe we could have another kid eight years from now. I think it's better to have them closer in age than having that far apart. Well, that's what I thought too until I had to.

And then I was like, oh, I can't do this. I think it's easier as time goes by because when kid will help, they'll help. He need a lot of attention and then you were born and it was tough until you got to be about three to three years old and you guys were entertaining each other and playing with one another. It took a lot of pressure off mom. Yeah, but then dad went and got the chop chop. We actually went to see the doctor right after Josh was born. And he said, yeah. He got the chop chop.

Yeah, best I can say. I cannot hear what you're saying. He called that chop chop. She does. And but what? How long do we have a year? Yeah, they want you to worry about a year to make sure the baby is a year old before you go through the best act of me because there's something happens. You might want to have another child and if you're

a bed of that stuff to me. We know you're not replacing it but some people are so sad. It's just what they want so we don't want to rush into this. We're practicing. Yeah, actually when I got my C-section, if they wanted to tie my tubes. Wait, actually? They had, yeah, they said, I designed the paperwork and I was like, wait, oh, no! I was like, absolutely, do not use that. Wait, exactly, but then they said that because I'm so young that even if I said yes, they would have really, really pushed back on it. Oh, okay.

Oh, okay, yeah, because you're not in your right mind. Take the turn, no, but is that crazy? Yeah, I thought about that with you getting an IUD again, I thought, well, maybe I could just get a Visectomy because they are reversible, but I did some research and it's not 100% accurate though. And it's super paint. It is. We have a friend that did.

Oh gosh. Oh, we were to reverse. To reverse it. Reverse not the original. Oh, okay, reverse it. My friend, he had it down, it's like being kicked in a groin by a horse. Oh my gosh. I have no sympathy, I'm sorry.

Me neither, sorry. No. No, just wait. I don't blame sympathy. I'm sorry me either sorry. No, no No, just wait. I don't blame you. I don't blame you just but no you will do it. It's least you can do it Oh my gosh, of course. I'll do it. I saw that's what can't believe like a whole cost of the birth There's just so crazy to me. It's just so mad scarred more than me. I'm so thankful for Abby doing that because I I saw everything happened and Yeah, what are your what are your favorite memories of being parents, favorite memories of us? I think just seeing you guys interact with each other and watching some of those old videos

of how you reacted. And I think when we took the past fires away from you guys and we had the binky fairy come and take the past fires away and having a flyer at the, I think it was like an Easter time saying that the Binky Fairy came, took the past fires and you got these gifts and you guys bought into that and that was fun.

And just, I don't know, just watching how you guys interact with each other in some of the videos, it was just fun. I think your best memories, I think, are probably between when the kids are about two to about seven, but then it's just different fun things, you know. Different faces. The biggie fairy, he's real, right?

Yeah, just making sure, because we didn't talk about that one. That was mainly for Caleb, ages would not stop with the biggie. But it was fun watching you, I was reliving this when you were in a show with Mewney Sound of Music and I was scared to death and you had a solo and the that show is the largest outdoor theater and I think in the country right? Well it is. Yeah it's the largest outdoor musical theater in North America.

And here I am, I don't know about 15 rows from center watching you on stage and performing. And you were nervous. Oh my gosh. And you were up there singing and dancing and did a great job. And this is right before he found out he had a tumor in his back. So you're in pain and you're pushing through it and you did a great job. And like two weeks later after that performance, we found out he had a tumor and had to have

major surgery in her back. And I don't know. That was a very proud moment to see you up there on stage, having learned all those lines and perform and just knocking on the ballpark in pain. And you just loved it. And it was just very proud of you. Something you told me a couple months ago was you miss when me and my brothers would hide in the kitchen when you came home. Oh my gosh, it's so fun.

And we jump out and scare you and you pretended to be scared every single time. And now with Griffin, when I play with him and I jump out and scare him and he giggles and laughs, like I can't help but think about that same memory that you had with us. We had like this half wall. So yeah, you could hear you coming in the garage

and we'd hide behind you guys would hide behind the wall. And my coordinator that she goes, oh, dad's home, so hide and surprise him. And you'd come out, there's, hey dad, and it was so fun. And you blink and they're six, two, six, three. I'm so sad. But now I'm enjoying my grandchildren

and enjoy seeing you guys together. It's a lot of fun. Yeah, we're blessed. I think being a parent is gonna make me more emotional. I think it already has, because it's been a little bit of time. And a boy. And a boy.

But I'm telling you, you'll get more emotional as a grandparent. And that's the thing my sister asked me, she said, I don't get it like all of our friends that are having grandkids, they're like, it's so good. I said, well, it's because as a parent, even though you're playing, you're thinking,

I need to make dinner, I need to fold this laundry, I need to do this. You're not fully just there, especially me and it's hard to shut my brain off. But as a grandparent, I don't have to do anything else. I can just play and do what I want. You know what I mean? I don't have to make dinner. I don't have to do anything else. I can just play and do what I want. You know what I mean? I don't have to make dinner.

I don't have to do the laundry or whatever. So that it's so awesome. Dirty diaper, here we go. It's wonderful. Well, you guys are amazing parents. You guys are really, really incredible. Thank you for being there. Thank you for having us on your podcast.

Thank you for coming on. You guys are the most supportive, you guys are like the most supportive people of anybody for us and even when we even we had like One hundred we I think we like Share our videos on Facebook and we had like 10 subscribers on YouTube. I've bumped you up to like 15 It was just so stupid. I also just think about how different each of your boys are. They're vastly different, all three of them. And you support each of them where they're at so well and just encourage them. And you're just, you willing to talk about anything with them and just always, it was also

always seek advice from other people in our very humble in that way and just, thanks. Yeah. Really good. We can be very happy to be able to make a big advice from other people in our very humble in that way and just thanks. Really good. Especially you dad with advice, I think you've always been very humble in asking for how you could be better, how you could be a better dad. Oh yeah, you asked that all the time. Just not just saying. Yeah, to your kids.

It's just an honest question. I really respect that. Yeah. That you don't try to pretend that you have it all figured out. And I think that's something that I learned as an adult. Like it's almost as if there's really no real adults in this world. It's as if the adults are really just the bigger kids. And we, we, actually we have it all figured out, but we don't, you know?

Well, we made a lot of mistakes for sure, but yeah, I do think the one thing we did pretty good, like you said, I had by three you said, my two sisters, the three of us are the same age difference as our three boys, like exactly. And my dad meant it well, but like, wanting us all to be the same, do this, do this, and I was like, oh, we want them to be individuals and their strengths, and they all three have different strengths and they're great, so they can all be who they want to be

and we'll support that. I feel like that's the greatest goal as a parent is to just like Help your child find their own strengths and just how to build those up and love that and yeah So we're videotape in this the day before Thanksgiving sort of a lot to be thankful for so thank you for being a great parents and Thank you for all the things that you do for us and I'm looking over here so I'm gonna get emotional because I did that a lot and we couldn't be happier and I'm so blessed to be out here in Phoenix visiting with you two of you and this will probably air some time right before Christmas so Merry Christmas everybody we love our family we love this opportunity to share our

times together. Stay here. Let us know if my parents should start a podcast. Maybe they'll have to. I think I'd get canceled in two days. You're too emotional. Well, if you guys have it already gotten your what's up, you do use merch.

We'll have it in the description is also available. Like I think there's like the shop on YouTube, if you're watching on YouTube, you can literally just like go right underneath the video. It's right there. And it's literally right there. And it's also at unplannedpodcast.com. Did you know that we have our own website now unplannedpodcast.com? I do want to call say that yesterday. Isn't that cool? We love you guys and as always three two one peace out