The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby - Our First Time, Getting Married Young & How We Met

Episode Date: February 1, 2023

We've been keeping a secret from you. We've heard the feedback and know that you miss the old us from a time when we had fewer jump cuts and lower production values. We want to be more than just perfectly curated 60-second TikToks that show up now and again on your for you page. So we are super excited to launch the very first episode of The Unplanned Podcast. In this episode, we gave some unedited, juicy details about the story of our relationship.

When it comes like waiting till marriage or you nervous for the wedding night I was not nervous at all and then it like lasted like three minutes shut up That was like my one goal. I was like I'm going on a date on my 18th birthday I'm going to kiss this girl. So I need to tell them what you did. I watched a YouTube video about how to kiss I practiced like how to put my arm over you two before we went because I just had to practice Yes, I knew your brother What's up, dude It's such a throwback.

It kind of feels good though. I can't believe we're doing this. We're actually starting a podcast. Is the unplanned podcast welcome? Welcome. We're so excited you're here. Episode one, baby. Yeah, my part is pumping. I know.

I'm so, I'm so excited. I'm just because we have like lights and like these fancy mics in front of us where we normally just record our phones. Yeah, and usually our content's edited, so it's so vulnerable, it's just a talk and not have some edited video for you guys. So this is crazy.

Yeah. It's very exciting. So this is episode one. We're just here talking about, I mean, it's pretty crazy when you think about it. We literally got engaged at, I was 19. Yes, and I was- I was a teenager.

I was 20. We've known each other for seven years. We've been together for 10 years. And- Which is like, in the grand scheme of things, not that long, but when you think about it in the context of like, I'm 24, so that's almost half my life. I said that wrong.

We've been together seven years. We've known each other for 10 years. Oh, well, still, that's like almost half my life. I know. I'm 24. I feel like an old man now. Do you really? Yes.

It's freaking me out that I'm just as close as I am to the age of 30 as I am to the age of 18. Is that crazy? Like I was 18, six years ago, and in six more years, I'm going to be freaking 30 years old. Scary dude. People say your 30s are your best years. So COVID messed time up for me. Like now ever since COVID like all the time just feels like a big blur

just like a big blur. Speaking of time. We should talk about how we met. The first time we met. The first time we met. So um yeah I guess like some context like since we got engaged at 19 like we'd already known each other for quite some time. How was like, what, 14? Yeah. 14 when we first met. I was 14. No, you were 13.

You were 13 years old now as 14. I had just turned 14. I don't remember like the first moment I saw you, I don't. I don't either, but I just know that you had a crush on me and I didn't even really notice you. Yeah, so the worst thing is that I was pretty obsessed with Matt, I would talk to him with all my girlfriends and he didn't even know what he's saying.

I feel bad saying it, but I really didn't. I just knew you as this girl that was in the summer theater that I was a part of. Yeah, so we met at a summer theater. It was the sweetest thing ever. My mom would drive me, because I lived two hours away from the theater, she would drive me like for the summer for, I don't know how many weeks, four weeks,

while I did a show, and we were in a performance together of Mary Poppins. Oh my gosh, yeah, you're right. My first met, and we were just like ensemble members, but yeah. And you had to crush on me for literally three whole years. I would like to show people Matt's Instagram. We should put this on the podcast Instagram.

This one video I would show of them of Matt on YouTube of you singing, baby, like just. I told Matt the other day I was like, that video did exactly what you wanted to do when you uploaded it because I mean, were you trying to get girls by posting that? Yeah, I used to sing for girls at high school football game. When I was in middle school, I'd go to the high school football game because that's where all the cool kids went

and I would sing for girls, like just trying to swoon them and I thought it was fun. It felt like I was Justin Bieber singing for all these girls. It worked, it totally worked out. But that's why I posted that video because I was like, maybe this could be my big break. I could be just like, just.

It's so cute watching it back now because I can like tell that you're trying to be like, so tree, like your eyes are like smoldery. Yeah, oh my gosh. I just can't believe that like, we don't do theater anymore. Like we met doing theater,

you were, you did dance ever since you were three, right? And I did dance ever since I was nine. I did dance for almost, actually I did dance for 10 years of my life. I feel like a lot of people now are like, oh, they're theater kids, that explains a lot. No, we are though. We're theater kids through and through.

We have done a show. It feels like a different lifetime ago, but I still would love to act at some point and you love singing. I would love to do music at some point. And we danced on TikTok. I mean, it's really full circle. Yeah, I think we talked about this before,

starting the podcast. And I think we should talk about our dating life before, before dating, even though we didn't date, we were actually, we dated, Abby was the first girl I ever took out on a date. And that was the first boyfriend I had, but I had been on dates before. So, okay, we met at the ripe age of 13 and 14,

but then we didn't really see each other, we saw each other very rarely, because I lived out of town. I would see him in town, I don't know, three or four times between the time when I was 13 to the time I was 17, so those four years. But then fast forward to, I'm 17,

it's Matt's 18th birthday. What possessed you to ask me on a date? Like you've never asked a girl on a date before. And look, Drew, you I drew your attention. You didn't care about me for all those years in between so I'll be completely honest I've been crushing on a girl in high school for like So many years. I don't even know how many years it was it was bad I just like could not get over this girl who like friends on me hard for like so long and I finally Was like you know what this is never gonna happen. I've met her. I think know what? This is never going to happen. I think she's great. I think that you have great girl. Yeah, great girl. But like, I was like,

this is never going to happen. And it kind of just like, I don't know, like the infatuation thing. Does she know what an impact you had on you? No freaking idea. I have literally no idea. That's actually terrifying saying that right now. But I like notice you now. They're gonna send her this podcast. Oh my gosh, dude. I noticed you though and I was like, this girl is beautiful. And I just, it's just like, one thing after another, I was like, she's beautiful. She's so sweet.

Would you say that I'm like, I don't even, I don't think I even like approached you or pursued you. No, no, like it was just through conversation during rehearsal for Wizard of Oz. We were in Wizard of Oz together when I was 17 and you were 17. I think that I had such a crush on you, but when I had a crush that meant I had to avoid that person. I'm like, I can't talk to them. I know, and that's what it was for me.

It's like it luckily had the guts to talk to you because if I would have had a crush on you first, I don't know if I would have had the confidence to really keep you because if I would have had a crush on you first, like I don't know if I would have had the confidence to like really keep things going because I was like, Oh, I like this girl. And I'm already talking to her. So I should just keep doing what I'm doing, you know? So you, yeah, like what made you talk to me? I just thought you were fun to talk to you.

I thought you're really sweet. And I just saw you as a friend first. Like you were a friend before you were. Yeah, I don't even think I was. I'm not really a flirty person. So I feel like I just like talk to a friend before you were anything more than I'm not really a flirty You were not flirty at all. Yeah, I just like talk to a friend. So Abby was actually so shy when I first met her I and over the course Yeah, she just I realized pretty soon that she wasn't like a shy girl. She's nothing like literally so far

I'm shy because I felt so small compared to everyone around me because I was the new girl I was the girl from out of town like I just didn't know anyone whereas everyone else knew each other So of course I was gonna be quiet And I think the reason you were intimidated too is because it was a professional theater in St. Louis It took it so seriously. It was serious. I mean they brought in Broadway talent They brought in Broadway, you know directors producers like everything choreographers, and so it was it was cut I was trying to like get their attention and be like the most dedicated person.

I wasn't playing around. But I think because you were an out of town girl and everybody else, a part of that group of high schoolers was like a local St. Louison, like myself. You felt like you weren't part of the group, you know? I mean, I wasn't. But what's funny is like, I didn't feel like I was part of the group either, because I was,

I was this skater, snowboarder kid who also loved to sing dance and take ballet, you know, I'm saying, like, I didn't fit in the mold either. And I think that's kind of what brought us together in a way, which is. Yeah, so you just started talking. I'm pretty sure we played cards. And then we just, like, yeah, what made you ask me on a date that day? You're just like, I'm turning 18. No, no, that's really what it was.

My 18th birthday is what made me realize I needed to ask you out. Because that's like, I have never kissed a girl other than truth or dare when I was like 13, but I don't really count that. But I was like, I've never kissed a girl. I've never taken a girl out on a date. I've never done any of these things. And this girl is so cute. She's so sweet.

And I thought you were like smart too. And I've always like, I don't know. I want my kids to be smart. So I was like, too and I've always like I don't know I want it I want my kids to be smart so I was like this this girl is wife material I need to take her to genius so Griffin's freaking smart dude So I asked you out in that date and That's where things got weird that's where things got weird

Wait, why because your friend told me that you were dating somebody else? Okay, yeah, So let's explain this. Things were messy because I also had never dated anybody. But I'd been on dates with guys and I'd like texted guys and snap-chatting guys. But I mean, I really wasn't the boy crazy girl. But you were going on dates with somebody else but not dating them. Yeah, so I went on multiple dates with like lots of different guys.

But like, they were all super respectful and like they were all like, I mean, I didn't kiss any of them. They ever tried to, did anybody ever try to? And you were just like, I laid down the law. Before every day, I was like, hey, you know, I'm fine going on a day out, can see where this goes, but don't try to kiss me. I was like, so, I was like, yeah, no, I,

because I don't know, I was just like, I want my first kiss to be special and I wasn't convinced that any of those guys were the one, I mean, they were all super nice, super respectful guys, every single one of them. So I had a great experience, it was fun, but it's so crazy that the one guy I was like super spoon over, asked me on a date. So I was like super excited, but yes,

someone told that that I was in a relationship, but I wasn't, we were going on dates. Hold up, hold up though. When I sent you the text asking you on a date, but I wasn't, we were going on dates. Hold up, hold up though. When I sent you the text, asking you on a date. Who are you sitting next to? I was sitting next to another guy who had driven down to see me in the show. But I already knew at that point.

Was that a date where you on a date when I asked you on a date? It was not a date. It was more than a date. You was staying with you. He was staying in our hotel. You guys in the same bed. No It was me and my mom and then him and his buddy

Who you also had a thing with who you also went on dates with did you go on dates with him? Yes, you did You did you been on so you went on so many dates before dating me Which is just bonkers because I had never been on a single one honestly because I wasn't really that type of person But like I think my head. I was like I'll give it a chance like sure. I do never been on a single one. I didn't even see it honestly because I wasn't really that type of person, but I think in my head I was like, I'll give it a chance, like, sure. I didn't ever know where that could go, but I wasn't taking them super seriously, some more than others, but yeah,

I was sitting on the couch with them because they were staying in our hotel room to go to the show, I think he went to the show the night before and was about to leave the next day. So then when you invited me on a date, I was like, oh, yeah, because I was already super not. I was knowing it wasn't gonna go anywhere with this guy. So I think it's so funny that you lay down the law

with all these guys and said no kissing. Oh yeah, and then our first day happens. Yeah, and I kissed you. I kissed you the very best day. I just lay down the law because I never thought that you were gonna do that. But that was like my one goal. I was like, I'm going on a date on my 18th birthday.

I am going to kiss this. You planned it. Yes, I goal. I was like, I'm going on a date on my 18th birthday. I am going to kiss this girl. You planned it. Yes, I did. I was like, I'm going to kiss this girl. I was like, I- When you tell them what you did. I watched YouTube videos about how to kiss. I watched so many.

I watched so many videos about how to kiss. Because I was like, if this girl has like a super awkward first kiss, she's never gonna wanna go on another date with me ever again. And guess what happened? The first kiss was awkward as for it. But it was electric. It was.

No, like. It was literally like someone had charged me with the electricity. That's what it felt like. Don't you wish you could go back? Oh. And just to feel those feelings again. Oh my gosh.

Like I'm literally getting chills right now. I was so, okay, so give this tell them. So Matt texted me while I was sitting with this guy on the couch and I like agreed to the date because I was already like knowing it wasn't gonna work out with this guy. So then I think the date was the next day, right? I think there's a couple days later. Well, no, because then you backpedal.

Then you're like, No, no, the reason I was backpedal. I backpedal because your friend told me you were dating that guy, but then a few days later she was like, Oh, just kidding. It's just a guy that she's friends with because I think you had told her like, you know, you got mad at her I think

because she had told me that you were dating and then you're like, oh no, this is guy I'm going on a date with. He's not my boyfriend. I was just like, I really wanted to clarify because I liked you so much that I was like, please don't give him the wrong impression and then she was like, oh crap.

And so then anyway. Yeah, anyway though, but she got back to me and she was like, hey, she's actually single. So I also really talk about how respectful that was of you to like backpedal when you thought that I had a boyfriend. You're like, let's invite other people.

Yeah, but it also think it was lame that I asked you out over text. Well, it was a similar times. We weren't high school. I mean, I was 17. Yeah, I mean, yeah, we were both 17. So it is kind of lame that you did that, but also I didn't think you think I was high school.

It was just simple times. So you ask me on the date, we go to Chick-fil-A right away. I'm so nervous, I can't eat. I like nibble at a couple chicken nuggets. I'm like freaking out. We go to the movie theater. I literally chose the scariest movie they were playing

at the time, because I wanted to get Abby all nervous and like cuddly and like one. And it worked. She got like all cuddly with me. We went to like a horror movie. And I legit like, I'm not even kidding. I practiced like how to put my arm over you too before we went, because I just had never.

We were practiced on who, your brother? No, just like on a pillow. Like I didn't know how to freaking do any of this stuff. I'd never been on a date before, and I just wanted it to be good. And so, kissed, we went to the park, we went on a hike. I like didn't want to move once he put his arm around me. I was like, I can't move.

I got the first thing in my hip. Is we made out so much for like weeks after that. Like we were such, we were such horn dogs, dude. Yeah, don't say that. We were, we were and everybody is though. Like you've never kissed anybody and then all of a sudden you kiss them. Kissing is amazing.

You just start. I think everyone has that experience. Like you have movies that you know that you never saw any bit of the movie because you were just kissing. I remember watching Footloose as a kid and seeing them kiss and I was like, I want to experience that so bad.

And so with you, we would legit. That was the movie, be with you. Remember this? Yes, we put on like, be with you and put on like all these movies. I don't know anything about that movie. No, not at all. We made out the whole entire movie.

I know, I feel like everyone has those movies where it's like, we just made out the whole movie. The whole entire movie. Like, can you imagine doing that nowadays? And then you feel like you feel bad too, because like, I don't know, like you just... Can I tell you one time, it was one of those early days we had just gone to the Six Flags. Yeah. And I had the worst migraine because we'd gone on roller coasters all day. It was in the sun

I was exhausted. Yes, the worst migraine I was feeling so nauseous and you had just eaten ice cream sandwich Oh my gosh, and we were kissing and I still want to kiss you so bad that I Continued to do it even though I thought I was gonna throw up Imagine if you would have thrown up on my mouth. That would have been horrible That would have been moving right along anyway our dating experience was so unique because we were in high school and we were long distance technically because we lived two hours apart. We're both living with our parents still. So when we get to each other, it was at our parents' houses for the weekends.

It was like, it was electric, Matt, because we missed each other so much and then we would talk on FaceTime all the time. We would literally FaceTime all night, literally all night long. Gosh, I was looking back at old photos the other day and just getting teary eyed, like thinking about how special that time was. Like just all those early years,

and I just wanted so badly to go back, because it was so exciting. And what's funny is I was like excited for the future with you, and like it's crazy that we're living in the future now, but even though I'm living in that moment that I was like excited for the future with you and like it's crazy that we're living in the future now But even though I'm living in that moment that I was looking for to then now I just want to go back You know, I want to I want to get a piece of that again. It was so much fun I one time I actually disobeyed my parents and I was 18 at the time so I was like mom that I'm an adult

You can't tell me what to do, but I was living out their house But they told me I couldn't go to Abby's house because I'd been a lot over the course of, I mean, I don't be home for once. I went there like every weekend. So they're like, just not this weekend, man. And I was like, screw that, I'm going, and I just did it. That was bad.

But I made that drive all the time. It was a two and a half hour drive to Quincy Illinois from St. Louis. And it was so fun. We were 17 and 18. It was the sweetest thing. I don't know That will always be like such a magical time and I literally to this day listen to songs from 2016

Like that year was like so I Know it's just burned in my memory like those songs just remind me of falling in love because that was the time that we fell in love I've told you that you like brought me out of my anxiety period, right? Like I I have I still have anxiety to this day, but it was like really, really bad in high school. And I was so scared to tell people about it because I wanted, I don't know, I was a very outgoing person and I just, I didn't want to look weak.

And the truth is I would go to school every day with the most insane pressure in my chest. Because I was so nervous about what people would think about me or I just wanted to fit in, but I didn't because I was a theater kid that liked to skateboard and play volleyball and snowboard and do ballet. I didn't really fit in a certain box.

Yeah. And you really brought me out of that. How so, just talking to you. You were the best friend and still are, like, that I've ever had. And falling in love with you was so much fun because not only were we falling in love, but I was also developing a friendship that, that, like, would change me forever, you know. Yeah. It's crazy.

And that's why I would FaceTime you for at least, like literally one hour minimum every day. Yeah. Which is kind of crazy. That's really sweet. I feel like you hadn't told me that until recent months. Yeah. But I don't know. I remember literally the first month that we were dating. You told me you loved me.

It was within the first month. Yeah. And I think, like, how early do you think you were talking about marriage? Oh, within, within like, a couple months. Not how do you even know? It was really early on, dude. I mean, I'm pretty early do you think we were talking about marriage? Oh, within, within, like, a couple months. Not, how do you even know? It was really early on, dude. I mean, I'm pretty sure he brought it up.

I said I love you within, like, a few weeks, I thought. But, like, it was so sweet the way you said it. He was like, hey, Abby, I think I love you. Yeah. And what did I say? I was like, you said it back. I love you too. I love you too.

I knew, okay, so I feel like that's kind of a controversial thing, like, people think that you should wait to say, I love you, but I feel like that's kind of a controversial thing like people think that you should wait to say I love you But I don't know I just I don't I Don't think the same way I guess just because it's like if you love someone life is so short Like let that person know that they're loved by you. I don't know Gosh, yeah, so you brought marriage up. It was you right? I don't think I brought up. I was no I mean I really I really cared about you And I remember telling my parents like I want to get married summer of

2017 that was a summer after high school It freaked them out and I knew it would I brought it up because I wanted to like shock them and Make them more comfortable with that with the idea of marriage. Maybe maybe the next summer 18-year-old guy and make them more comfortable with the idea of marriage. Maybe the next summer. Like, 18 year old guy talking about being ready for marriage. Like what brought that about? Oh my gosh. Well. Does he wear so in love with me?

Yeah, I mean, I really, really liked you. And we had decided we wanted to wait till marriage. So I was like, well, I really care about this person. She's my best friend. And I, I don't know. I mean, I don't know. I mean I don't I There's so much to love and like sex isn't like it's such a small piece of that But to like be with somebody for like a super super long time. We were so emotionally. Yeah

Invested in each other that I can see like but to like to be with somebody for a really really long time and not have sex with them like is It's like torch it wasn't that was that was a year that you're talking about. It is like torture. I know, I'm just, but that's why I was like, that's why so many of our friends from Utah, like they meet each other, date, get engaged, and get married within a year.

That's why so many of our friends from Utah do that, because like, they, yeah, that's just kind of what they do. Yeah, so we didn't live together or anything before we got married. So, okay, high school. I think things got really serious. Like we knew we were gonna get married when we decided to go to the same college.

And I think that really when we decided to go to college, which was like springtime of our senior year, we've been dating like nine months, I think that was when it was like, okay, like this is gonna be a forever thing. Yeah. Which is crazy that it felt so comfortable, but it wasn't scary. No, I told everybody, you're like, I remember being a freshman and telling all of my friends,

this is my girlfriend Abby, working at Mary. I literally was just so open about it, I told everyone. Everybody knew that we were very serious. Everyone knew that we were going to marry. I talked to my mom about getting married to you. But that's the thing though, dude. You didn't tell your parents that like, you know. Like the timeline.

No, you didn't tell them that you wanted to get married in college. Because when you brought that up, they weren't about it. They weren't about it. And I think it's understandable. I think that's like, even though they loved you so much, I think it's like, I was their first child.

Like, that's crazy to think that they're going to be, because marriage changes your relationship with your parents. Because whereas I was first, like, they were my first call. They were like, everything, even though you'd kind of already transitioned to that, I think marriage made that final. Well, you know what it was, is when I was at your senior dance recital, I told your mom that I wanted to marry you and I wanted to marry you in college and within probably a year or two. So she was like losing me to college and then all of a sudden she's gonna lose me to you. Your mom, my mom is a boss woman. She's a moda employee, she's an engineer.

She's, you know, she went to school from Civil engineering and got her degree in that. Like she's, she's not like, I don't know, she's not super emotional. I've never really seen my mom cry other than a couple times when I was a kid. But I think your mom... My mom and I, I mean, still are best friends. Like, we were like, yeah. Super close.

But talking, with my mom, I talk very logically. There's not very many emotions in there. It's just like, here's the logic. Here's what I wanna do. Well, that's probably the difference between a mother, son, relationship, and a mother, that are really... Yeah, but my mom is very different than your mom. So with your mom,'s just like, here's the logic, here's what I want to do. Well, that's probably the difference between a mother's son relationship and like a mother's daughter relationship. Yeah, but my mom is very different than your mom.

So with your mom, I was like, hey, just so you know, I'm going to ask your daughter to marry me. Well, I was saying, hey, just so you know, this is what we're talking about. This is like the timeline we're seeing. And that freaked her out. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's when, I think that's when it switched with your mom.

I mean, we're good. Abby's mom and I are good now, but like for a while there, I don't think your mom like me. I don't think she did. And another one. Yes, because like, in her mind, I was taking away her best friend. Well, like, I mean, you were. You kind of were. I was.

So I understand that. Because you were your mom's best friend. And I just remember my mom always telling me, she's like, Abby, you don't know what it's like. And so now I have a kid and it's, I'm getting small tastes of that. And getting married was like, me. I'm like, I'm about to cry. I think I'm getting small tastes of that. And getting married was like me.

I'm like, I'm about to cry. I think I'm going to cry. Oh my gosh, dude, we've got literally 18 years until that happens. That's going to be so. I still want that to. It's OK. It's OK.

It's OK. It's OK. It's OK. Anyway, whoa, that came out of nowhere. But then when he goes to college, you know what that means? Means we're gonna get grand babies, not too long after that. Maybe, we don't know.

He can make his voice down as well. Can't put that pressure on him right now. I, I. That's so weird to think about. I'm not love being a grandma. I really will. But back on track. Where are we at?

Did not know, I did not know we're gonna be crying on the first episode. I did not. I said a gnome, we're gonna be sitting down and talking. I just get emotional. You're an emotional woman. You were especially emotional with your last pregnancy. You made me very emotional.

Having a kid makes me emotional. Like your heart is literally say that. It's like your heart's outside your body. It's like it really is. And outside my body is dangerous because it can get hurt out there. Anyway, so Matt and I go to college together knowing fully well that we're gonna get married. And then we just kind of,

I think no, it was, so hold up, you're skipping a step. What did I do? It was that winter that you told your parents, you're like, hey, just so you know, Matt and I wanna get married. Winter, no fall break, freshman year. I like told them. And it was bad.

It was bad. It was bad. They loved you. And they, I think they knew in their hearts that we were ready for marriage, but they just, which I do think we were fully ready. Honestly, earlier than when we got married. Oh, yeah. But it's, dude, it threw me off so hard because your parents got married when they were like 22 and 23. They got married right after college. My parents got married when they were like 30. I think this is common though. Like people think that like first you graduate college then you get married. Well yeah, I mean everybody says that.

When we talk about our experience being married in college. Sure, but I had something else I wanted to say at first. Oh go ahead. But that really shocked me though because I just thought your parents would be on the same page. Then being married on the younger side I just assumed oh they'll be all for it. And you thought you completely thought that too. I think I was surprised that they were so against it. So that, I remember you were crying for,

like you cried a lot. It was really tough for a while. And what's funny is your parents found different, like leadership, people in our life that they wanted us to meet with and talk to people that, like, we're basically there just to try to talk us out of getting married, young. But we were like so.

We were so sad on it. We had so much ammo again, so it's people. to people that like were basically there just to try to talk us out of getting married young. But we were like so. We were so set on it. We had so much ammo again, so it's people. So much ammo. Because you had mentors that were like married and they got married young. We were talking, we were picking everybody's brain about young marriage. And like what it's like to be married, what it takes, how to resolve conflict. We were reading books.

Dude, we were grinding too because like the week that I entered school at Missouri State University, I went applied for 10 jobs. Yes. I was like, I was like, look, I need to make money. I want to get married. I want to be financially independent of my parents. I think we understood that it'd be ridiculous to tell our parents we were going to get married while still accepting money from them. No, of course. So we like cut that off. And I started reading so many books about finance because I had grown up like not knowing a lot about business, not knowing a lot about, I had no financial literacy other than mowing lawns for neighbors when I was a kid

as a small job in college. But I realized that I really needed to learn how money worked because I wanted to provide and I wanted us to be set up so that we didn't have to run back to mommy and daddy and be like, please pay for our stuff even though we're married. Like that would have been... I will say, like I think that if you're gonna get married that young, I think we did it the right way.

Well, yeah, because we chose a school that was really cheap. If you're gonna go to college, like taking on a lot of debt is a bad... We kept our expenses super low. It's a bad idea, so... We didn't go out, like our friends, even when we were dating. We, like, this is pretty weird though. We combined our finances like before we were engaged. I think yeah, it was right around when we got engaged.

I don't know when exactly it was. I could look back at the bank statements, but we did combine early on. Because we didn't have much. So like, it was kind of like, oh yeah, we're gonna, we were just preparing for marriage. And we, yeah, I mean, we didn't have a lot of money. We were servers at a pizza restaurant.

So we weren't making a bank. money. We were servers at a pizza restaurant. So we weren't making any paychecks. I will say our parents had both set aside a little bit of money for us for college. But that would have only covered like a semester or two at some of these nicer schools that we were considering. But choosing a state school that was cheap and we worked hard in high school to get good grades and we both were able to get.

We got good scholarships. So that made the little money for our parents go a very long way. Yeah. And with us, I think with the scholarships and the money from our parents, I think it basically covered all of our intuitions. Yeah, we kept our finances in order.

Yeah. We would go out with friends and they would get ice cream. We would not even get ice cream. We were super strict about things because we just like knew. Like, yeah, we need to do this to get married, which was funny, because I had friends who were like, yeah, there's like 20 bucks in my bank account. They're like, I'm getting ice cream tonight. And I'm like, dude, why do you not save that?

Because we had money in the bank because we are, we are working and we were full-time students and working part time. But I was like, we need to build up like a nest egg so that like, if something happens or we decide to build up like a nest egg so that like if something happens or we decide to move to, I don't know, Hawaii when we're done with school. That we have that we have money ready. So we were just like really grinding,

really saving in it and it really helped us out. Got the finances together. We're talking with other people like getting advice, reading books, listening to podcasts. Like we were really, we went about it in a wise way for being so young. Yes, and I'm I'm so proud of you dude like you I I did made the personal decision to work really hard, but like you got a job serving when like you you did not I don't know if you really wanted to do that right away But you did and it was also that we could get married young and be financially independent

I feel like, you know, to get married as young as we did, like sacrifices had to be made, and all of those sacrifices were so easy to make in comparison to like, you know, entering this commitment with you. Like I was like ready. Totally. So it didn't really, it didn't bother me. Like some people I knew like didn't have jobs. Now I was like, I'm grinding because I want to be with my husband.

Yeah. And not my boyfriend anymore. So yeah, got engaged after our sophomore year of college. Do you think we waited too long? No, I think the timing was perfect because I think it was really nice that I got to like have, you know, I had dorm life, my freshman year, sophomore year. I loved the year that I was living with my girlfriend's.

It's so hard because like I really enjoyed the year I had with my, I was gonna say boyfriends but that just said, that just said, was my boys. It was really fun. We did a snowboarding trip that winter where we like took a jar of peanut butter with us on the road. We couldn't afford to eat out. So we like ate peanut butter and crackers and we, I think we ate at one time that whole trip. Anyway, it was a fun time, but like,

because because we chose to wait till marriage, I was like, bro, this sucks. And like, we were engaged for 13 months. That's a long time. If you're waiting till marriage, that's a very long time. And I would not recommend that. If you're waiting till marriage, that's a very long time. And I would not recommend that. I honestly, I would not recommend that. If you're waiting till marriage do not,

do not be engaged for freaking 13 months. Well, if you aren't waiting, then you can have an engagement as long as you want. But, yeah, that's something else I wanna say. Like, we did get married very young, but realistically, our life looked pretty much like most people's do when they live with their boyfriend or girlfriend.

Well, yeah, we spent a ton of time. Which a lot of 19 and 20-year-olds are living with their boyfriend or girlfriend. So it's like, it wasn't that weird. Actually, it wasn't weird at all. Like, you know what I mean? Cause so many people live with their boyfriend or girlfriend in college, and it was like,

I was living my boyfriend, but we were married. So, I don't know no so we dated our senior year of high school were still dating freshman year of college engaged for sophomore year and then married for junior and senior year of college yeah and before I dropped out I did drop out before Matt dropped out in my senior year I had one semester last yes so I don't know I guess I mean, I think it did make our wedding super fun because we were in college when we got married like we had all of our High school like we were we were still close enough with our high school friends and we had all of our college friends like People ask all the time like do you wish you would have a loaptim like? Yes, but no because our wedding was so fun to have everyone together. It was a massive party. Our dance party at our wedding was so fun.

Like people were super-hitting so much. They went so hard on the dance floor. Their shirts were like sticking to them. Yeah, that was a really good memory. I have videos on my phone from when we were dancing at the wedding. Like everyone was like, I've never seen a dance party like that at a wedding.

I have never been to a wedding since that had a party. That like, it was a rager good it was a razor it was perfect. It was like. It wasn't just the young people like yes. Everyone was on the dance floor. And how the kids couldn't even drink alcohol and they were just still sending it. No we were so party.

I was totally sober and it was just like going so hard. I think yeah I had. I wasn't just the young people it was like literally like all the couples there. Everyone. I only had I only had one beer and I was like just going crazy, you know Yeah, it was so much fun and then I was leaving. Oh my gosh. You weren't even 21 They gave me sprite. Abby. They they they gave Abby's sprite in the champagne glass

And they actually gave it to me too because they I don't think they realized that I was 21 right away So for the for the toast for the toast part of our wedding, we literally had spried. That's how young we were. It was a 20-21. It tasted way better than champagne, honestly. Dude, honestly though, freaking, oh, Mascado, I love a good Mascado.

I have a sweet stuff. It's because you like sweet stuff. I love sweets. I love the girly drinks. They're so much better than the dude drinks. The dude drinks just tastes like freaking, I don't know, motor oil. They're just, yeah, they're just,

there's not a whole lot of flavor, but with like the, take like a strawberry daiquiri, aww, I love this. You're a margarita guy. Margaritas, woo, yeah. But like our wedding was such a rager, and then like as we were leaving, everyone was shouting,

Abby and Matt, Abby and Matt, and it was like so fun. I love that. And then enter junior year of college where newly married. Do you feel like you went through a new- Hold up, hold up. You're skipping us that we had so many questions on Instagram, which you guys should totally follow us both on Instagram if you're not already doing that.

And subscribe to the podcast. Should we answer some of the Instagram questions? Wait, wait, hold up though. I was saying something. And subscribe to the podcast. It would really mean a lot to us. Hit the like button and the notification bell so you don't miss out on any future episodes. And for those that like to listen on Apple Podcasts,

while Spotify, we will have an episode. We will have future episodes out on those platforms. We just are so unplanned that we haven't gotten that far and getting it up on those platforms. So yeah. I will say you do not want to miss the next couple episodes. They're going to be insane. Sorry, what were we saying? We're talking about I got I said skip to set

It was between junior year and oh yes, I wanted to ask you a question I wanted to ask you were you were you nervous for the wedding night like we had we waited till our wedding I was so ready. I was not nervous at all. Yeah dude same. I was so it was not even awkward We left our wedding at nine o'clock on the dot. We were like not a clock. Let's get the freak out of here I like I didn't Feel nervous at all. Yeah, did you feel nervous? Yeah, I think was really excited. Yeah, and then it like last like three We don't need to give details. I thought I was really good. Yeah, I mean it like lasts like three minutes. Shut up. You don't need to give details.

I thought I was really, I thought it was good. Yeah, I mean, it was good, but it's just like, yeah. It's funny, like, it was definitely special. It was super special. It was, it was, it was, it was. And then I feel like the next day we did like five times. Shut up, you cannot put this online. It was, um, it was really sweet. The as far as my grandma the next morning to you saying

wasn't it just like ecstasy she literally said that to you right? I don't know the love. There was something. There was some comment. So funny. That was one thing where I think you were like maybe don't do a breakfast. Don't do breakfast after your wedding night. Because then your off your whole family just like like you walk in and I think my face, Matthew, I think my face just like red embarrassment, a little bit. It was sweet though. And I feel like, so we were super infatuated.

I would say like for the first like six months of us dating, but I feel like we went through almost like a short, another infatuation switch after getting married. Yeah, after getting married for sure, but I would say like I would recommend people to be with somebody probably two years switch after getting married. Yeah, after getting married for sure, but I would say like, I would recommend people to be with somebody probably two years before they get married.

Yeah. Because like, I definitely felt the infatuation fade. Especially if you're in high school. Oh my gosh, but like we, I felt the infatuation fade probably around like a year and a half in. Because it's, that's actually true. Like, infatuation. Wait, you're in a half?

I said six months. Oh really? I don't know. I don't know. I didn't think it was longer than that because like right around somewhere in college, I was like, okay, I'm no longer like in a factory. How long did it take for us to get in the fight?

I don't know, dude. It's too hard. I feel like it was like six or seven months before we got in the fight. I cannot even think that part of the fight. Like in my eyes at that time, you could do no wrong. Yeah.

It's not funny. Oh my gosh, only we would have known how crazy it would have gotten. It would get. It's not funny. Oh my gosh. Only would have we would have known how crazy it would have gotten. It would get. It would get. But yeah. So junior year of college starts. Yeah. And we're living in low income housing. Okay. A lot of people were like, how did you make? Yeah. That was like a common question on Instagram. They're like, how did you financially make marriage so young work? And we kind of talked about how we were like super frugal. We worked really hard. Let me start with this. So we were looking for like the cheapest apartments to live at because we didn't have a lot of money. We were born on a budget people, okay? And we realized, as we were looking around, that we qualified for low income housing

because surprise, surprise, we didn't make very much money. We had low income. Yes, we had low income. And so basically it's like government subsidized housing, so it's like less expensive. Which is funny, this is the thing that sucks for college students. Your parent, how much your parents make is factored in to like all of your financial information. It is weird. But like for us, once we got married,

we're independent ever. And knock them off and it was like, you're independent because we were, like we, we, and the government literally gave us money for getting married in college. Some people don't know that. We weren't planning for that. No, but like it's very common.

Yes. You get a grant if you're married in college. It's called the Pell Grant and we got it. We weren't planning on it. It was amazing surprise. It was awesome. It was just like, oh, sick. I guess.

Kind of needed honestly. Yeah, it really helped us out. It was like, oh, sweet. We get some extra money from the government. And that was. So then we got paid to go to college. I mean, can we say that? Essentially,

honestly, we pretty much did. After we got married, we didn't plan that though. It just worked out. Yeah. And with, that was the thing. People don't know that though. With our scholarships.

People are so expensive. Like, how'd you do it? And it's like, there's- If you live frugally and you work while you're in college- Keep your expenses low. I think that's the top one. Yes, and you get good grades,

and you go to a cheap school, and you get married while you're in college, Keep your expenses low. I think that's the top one. Yes, and you get good grades, and you go to a cheap school, and you get married while you're in college, like, you're gonna be good. You know? It was so fun, and like, did, another question was like, did people think it was so weird? Not really, maybe it's just where we're from.

I felt uncomfortable. I did. Really? I was embarrassed, yeah. You were embarrassed, I hear you. Well, because I didn't want people to think I was like an idiot, like, oh, you're an idiot for getting married so young.

You know, like, I kind of was a little insecure about it. I feel like you weren't though, because you always introduced me like my wife when you didn't even need to do anything. No, no I did. I was very proud of being married to you for sure. But I think I was a little nervous, especially when I was 19.

I asked you to marry me right after I turned, I was what? I had turned 24 days before I asked you to marry me. So I was literally a 19 year old kid planning on asking his girlfriend to marry him. So I was intimidated by that, but it was definitely the right time. I definitely could have asked you to marry me earlier

because I was ready even before then, you know? So you don't think we got married too young? No, we could have got married earlier for sure. Do you think that you had like going into marriage or young, do you think that you had like rose colored glasses? No, because I think we were together long enough that the empatuation faded, which for me was around a year and a half. I think we could have gotten engaged at like around a year and a half

and then gotten married two years. But do you think you like overglamorize marriage itself? Mm. It's hard to say. I feel like that happens also at any age. But what's funny is like for us, nothing really changed other than we were having sex after we got married.

Like that's really the main. No, we were living together. I mean, yeah, but like we spent so much time together before we were married. Do you smell pizza? I do smell pizza. I think someone's making pizza. I wanna eat that so bad.

Yeah, we should probably wrap it up so we can use the pizza. I think someone's making pizza. I want to eat that so bad. Yeah, I should probably wrap it up so we can use a pizza. No, but I feel like my best advice is if you're going getting married young, you need to have other married people in your circle, kind of like giving you accurate, I don't know what you say like. Yes, you need. And accurate description of marriage. What it is. You need opinions. You need giving you accurate, I don't know what you say, an accurate description of marriage. What it is. You need opinions, you need the good opinions and you need the bad opinions.

And honestly, I think it was so good that my parents were skeptical going into it because it really made me dig deep and ask myself why do I want to get married and what is the purpose of marriage? And it really made me ask hard questions. And having an argument against them And against every single person my mom had us meet with

We talked is so many people that were like oh, we know why you're here. You're literally here just to tell us not to get married Like that's literally like Let's go get tacos and talk about get not getting married. I'm like oh my gosh Okay, but I think it was super good for us and like I don't know I'm like, I'm gonna talk to you guys. I'm gonna talk to you guys. I'm gonna talk to you guys. I'm gonna talk to you guys. I'm gonna talk to you guys. I'm gonna talk to you guys. I'm gonna talk to you guys. I'm gonna talk to you guys. I'm gonna talk to you guys. I'm gonna talk to you guys.

I'm gonna talk to you guys. I'm gonna talk to you guys. I'm gonna talk to you guys. I'm gonna talk to you guys. I'm gonna talk to you guys. I'm gonna talk to you guys. I'm gonna talk to you guys. I'm gonna talk to you guys.

I'm gonna talk to you guys. I'm gonna talk to you guys. I'm gonna talk to you guys. I'm gonna talk to you guys. I'm gonna talk to you guys. I'm gonna talk to you guys. I'm gonna talk to you guys. I'm gonna talk to you guys. I'm gonna talk to you guys. I be. And for us, that was like, okay, you know what? These people are wrong, and I'm gonna prove them wrong.

And this is the right decision for us. I know it. I feel it in my heart. And we prove them wrong. We've been married for three and a half years. So happy, yeah. No, I am. I am, I really am.

That's how it's so fantastic. No, I definitely am. I will say, if you're thinking about getting married young, yeah, like have other people giving you like insights into marriage, but then also like just make sure your friends because all the romance, it changes. It does change. It changes pretty fast. It changes rapidly.

And when you, when you first get married, you might be... You might not poop in front of each other. No, we were pooping in front of each other for sure. I think we were actually. But like a lot does change in marriage. You wanna make sure that you're marrying someone that's like your best friend. And that's someone that like,

you can have as a life partner because the romance side, like that makes up. And make sure you know. That's such a tiny piece of the pie. It is important. Okay. It's very important. Very important. But it's a tiny piece of the pie. And I think. It's very important. Very important, but it's a tiny piece of the pie.

And I think you can know that you have romantic compatibility with someone without sleeping together. Yes. Because that's like a super big misconception. Yeah, and you'll figure it out. You'll figure out, yeah, it's so much better. Trust me, when you are like really into somebody, it's gonna work out.

Like it's gonna be, you're gonna have a good time. Yeah. And that changes over time too. The preferences with that change over time. Something else I wanted to say, when you get married, you're marrying a set of problems. Everyone has their own set of problems. And so don't ever think like,

well, if I'm just with somebody else, this is I guess more for married people, but it's like, oh, if I'm with somebody else, it'll be way better. It's like, no, when you get married, like you were married to a set of problems, and you need to figure out solutions to working things out with each other

because there's no such thing as a perfect marriage. There's no such thing as perfect people and challenges and fights will come up. Yeah, no, how to resolve conflict with that person before you've gotten married. And don't be afraid to get therapy. Don't be afraid to talk to somebody about it. We've been through a few counsels. We've been through a few, yeah, we haven't found a good counsel yet.

We really need to. We need to find a good marriage therapist because everyone we've met with, I hope they they're not watching this, but it just didn't, it wasn't the right fit. Yeah, you're a marriage therapist. I'll leave your contact below. Yeah, drop us a comment down below. We'd love to speak to you about how we can resolve conflict. No, and I'd just be aware that conflict will come. And we know that you guys are both committed to resolving conflict. Yes. And I think that's the biggest thing about us

is that we were going in knowing that we were willing to do whatever it took to fight for our marriage and fight for unity and oneness. Totally. That's so good. Yeah. So I don't think we got married too young. I don't think we did.

I think we just get more years together than which is a blessing. Yeah. Because, and I think it's just because of the timing of when we met, I think this whole thing more years together than, which is a blessing. Yeah. And I think it's just because of the timing of when we met, I think this whole thing boils down to timing. And we would have met when we were 24, and we would have gotten married at 26 or whatever.

But we met at 14 and 13. That's the crazy thing to realize. Like, if we would have met when we did, I don't think we would have gotten married. And like the timing plays such a big role into all of it. And the reality is, you can be compatible with like with multiple people in the world. Like if Abbey would have grown up and- You mean I'm not your soulmate?

I just don't believe in soulmates. Like I believe I believe that if you're born to a certain part of the world, you're going to marry someone in that part of the world. Yeah. Or if you're born there and then you travel to some other country, then maybe you're likely to marry someone there. But, but I think it's more romantic that we're not soulmates in that we are both willing to still choose each other just by everything else.

Sorry for interrupting. Yeah, like marriage takes a lot of work and there's just no getting around that. And there's no person that's like choose your hard. Choose your hard. There's no person that's like your soulmate that's just going to like everything's gonna be perfect with and I've realized that in life like with moving to different places like We've had problems like I've had personal problems. I've had marriage problems. I've had business problems I've had I have problems anywhere I live any stage of my life That's got problem you I got problems

But like yeah moving to Hawaii was a fun time But like it didn't make my life like a bazillion times better. Moving to Phoenix was fun, buying a house is fun. Didn't make my life a million times better. Having a million followers on YouTube doesn't make anything. Like, I don't know, it's just like we're still humans. And we're still going to have challenges because we're humans, no matter where we live,

no matter what we do. Choosing a life partner is probably the biggest decision you will ever make in your life. Which is scary and it can be and needs to be taken extremely seriously But I think that your age shouldn't be the reason why You can't take it seriously if that makes sense you know what I mean like I think you need to be wise and knowing that You things might be weird your brain might be not fully developed or whatever when you're super young, but I just basically, I'm pro young marriage. If it's the right timing for the people and the both of you are committed to choosing one

another. Me too. And the funny thing is we both got cold feet right before we got married. Yeah, I freaked out. I freaked out too. We both did. I freaked out, but I think that that's probably a good thing because that meant that we understood the weight of the commitment we are about to enter into.

Totally. You know what I mean? 100%. And I'll always choose you. Yeah. Same here. So, if you're young and you feel like you want to get married, don't let your age stop you because I think it's a beautiful thing and I think that one of the best parts of

being married young is that we've developed our habits and our lifestyles based off of one another It's not like I ever had that independent phase Where I like got set and stone. I just don't I don't know anything different so Totally it's kind of wow is that does that just wrap up the our podcasts are very first episode one last deep pressing question What do you feel like you missed out on anything? So that just wrap up our podcast for our very first episode. One last deep pressing question. What? Do you feel like you missed out on anything? This has got married so young. I think people that didn't get married young

missed out on a life that I got to live. That's kind of true. I think that you choose. I feel like together we got to unlock different levels of life. Yes, we did. No, we definitely missed out on the quote-on-quote college experience. We did not party.

We did it, but I don't want to bring up sex again, but it was fun. Oh my gosh. I had a really fun time in college. Life was great. So much fun. Well, you guys, thank you for watching this first episode. Make sure, again, that you're subscribed,

hit the like button, and turn on the bell for post notifications, and we will see you next week on Wednesday, February 8th, right? Is that the right date for episode two? Yeah, and oh also again for Spotify and Apple podcasts people we will have an episode on those platforms. I'm personally an Apple podcast listener, so I will be excited when we're on there too guys. Don't you worry? It will be very soon. Should we piece out?

Oh, yeah. Okay, three, two, one. Peace out, dudes. guys don't you worry it will be very soon. Should we piece out suits? Oh yeah! Okay, three, two, one. Peace out dudes!