The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby - The Matt Howard Interview

Episode Date: July 26, 2023

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/UnplannedPodcast and get on your way to being your best self. I interviewed my husband. Make sure to rate our podcast and leave a review if you can, it really helps us out! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I didn't know if my life was going to end. I didn't know if I was going to be paralyzed. We thought it was growing pains, and it was really the tumor causing all that pain. You get in the cake? I could hold all of you. Dude, your belly's gotten so low. That freaked me out.

I'm worried that you're going to have the baby sooner than 39 weeks. I am also worried. Or in a weird spot, because a lot of our content is our life. So it's like, what do we show? What do we not show? Doing the best job as a dad doesn't always correlate

to doing the best on social media. What's one thing people don't know about you? What's your biggest weakness? What's your favorite piece of clothing that I wear? Ah, your undies. Like Mandy? This episode is sponsored by Better Health. What's up dudes?

Today I am doing the Matt Howard interview. Wow, I'm honored to be here. Thank you for interviewing me. Yeah, Matt really wanted me to interview. Hey, people requested it Matt Howard interview. Wow, I'm honored to be here. Thank you for interviewing me. Yeah, Matt really wanted me to interview. Hey, people requested it in your interview. They're like, you got to interview Matt now. So. So I was kind of inspired by a popular thing.

Have you seen the Vogue 73 questions? No, what is that? So Vogue interviews like all the top celebrities, like the Kardashians, Jennifer Lauren. Oh wow. Zendaya, Emma Stone, like all the top celebrities, and it's like a one take thing, and they have to just do their impulse response

to the question. Oh, no way. Yeah, and they're different for each person that they interview, but I kind of just want to get you loose and get your impulse reaction to the questions. It's kind of fun. And you don't have to go rapid fire, but obviously like 73 questions in the span of this podcast,

you're gonna have to move pretty quick, so you can't overthink. That's right, no one's thinking. Matt is a huge, oversteeker. That's right, I do. I go back and forth quite a bit. So none of that today. Is it supposed to be a secret that you put whiskey in your Diet Coke that you're drinking that is a secret

I Told you that in confidence Abby. I was gonna ask for a drink of match Diet Coke I put like a tiny little bit. Hey, you know what it's been it's been a rough day not really are you nervous? I a little bit a little day. Not really. Wait, are you nervous? No, it's not been a rough day. I, a little bit. A little bit, I am. No. Yep. Well, it's just me and 100,000 other people. Potentially more. You never know. Do you want to get right into it?

You're right into it. The first question. We're warming up with the evening. Matt, what's your favorite time of day? Oh, man. Probably late at night. I like, I like nighttime. I don't know. I just like to stay up late. I'm a night owl.

That's kind of when I get the most creative and I'll come up with like fun know. I just like to stay up late. I'm a night owl. That's kind of when I get the most creative And I'll come up with like fun video ideas or Get inspiration to do something fun. No, I think that's like a proven thing right like people with ADHD we say ADHD you have not been officially diagnosed. I don't think you need to I think we have enough evidence and you're functional enough that is not necessary probably but I isn't a thing like they have have the opposite schedules of most people. Yeah.

Because I would say the majority people probably feel more productive when they're rested and wake up in the morning. I mean, I've kind of been forced to be more productive in the mornings now than I've had but I just buy nature and way more productive at night. Maybe when you get older, you'll switch, and you'll start to be a morning person. I don't know, dude.

I don't know. Are you sweating your, or it's just me? It's 72 degrees, it's really. Oh, good, chilly. Just me. Matt, what's your biggest weakness? Oh, gosh. I don't even know where to start with that.

My biggest weakness is probably overthinking things, probably getting in my head. But it's also, this is like, one of those things where like if you go to a job interview, you're like, you gotta make your weakness your strength. But like seriously though, it also is my strength because since I do overthink things, I usually think things through a lot

and I make more strategic decisions, I would say. But it slows me down and I need to be a quicker decision maker especially for things that don't matter as much. Fun fact about Matt Howard He is not able to pick out his own meal at rest Usually tell the server I'm like or me. Yeah, I'm like hey, I'm I'm stuck between these two things Can you like every time I like having surprised me all the time well most of the time? This is something kind of cute that we do we both get a meal and then split half and half to try different things

But then you overthink it then you're like I wish I would have gotten that one and just gotten the whole thing out of it. And I can tell, nothing quite upsets you when you feel like you've ordered the wrong thing. I hate it so much. I just keep thinking about the thing that I should have ordered and it ruins the meal. Yeah, Matt, Matt, your mind really is like a mouse on a wheel. My brain doesn't stop.

Yeah, you do overthink a lot. And I think it's forced me to be a very decisive person. I think I was already a really decisive person. But that's why we're a good pair. That's right, give me nuts. I actually, when you said something about making your weakness, your strength, that reminded me of the Bachelorette.

They asked this guy. I think she asked him, like, what is the biggest weakness of those or something like that. And he was like, I'm like selfless to a fault. Like, I just, like, I'm so so, the point where I just like, take an advantage of it. I just can't. Which obviously, like, that's not a good thing,

but that's also not really being very candid about like a weakness, you know? What's your biggest strength? Maybe my work ethic, I don't know. I feel like I tend to really work hard at whatever I do and I want to be the best at whatever I do. Like when I worked at McDonald's, I wanted to be the best worker at McDonald's there was.

I don't know why. I just like, in me, I just cared about doing a good job. So, yeah. Yeah. What's the biggest learning experience you've had? Oh man, gosh, I feel like I'm constantly learning new things in my life. I think I've learned a lot this past year about being a father, and I think I've realized this year more than ever that my time is valuable, and that I only have much time with my

son as a baby, and then with him as a toddler. And we've seen him grow up before our eyes so quickly. And so I think this past year has been a great learning experience about what like the purpose of life and what I'm supposed to be doing here. And I'm just I'm super thankful for this stage of life. And I'm like realizing more and more how every single stage of life is beautiful. And I need a chair shit. That's really good. It's the one thing that you can't make more of. You know, you can have more kids. You can buy more of it.

You can make more money. You can like do this and that, but you can't increase your, I guess you could try to be healthy and eat healthy, work out and increase your time, but there's just no knowing if you're gonna die in a car accident. You just have no idea when your time runs out. And that's kind of scary.

So just treating every single day as a gift is really important. What makes you angry, Matt Howard? Oh, I think injustice, I think. That was gonna be my answer. Yeah, I think nothing makes me mad or when like, I was just watching this video late at night on YouTube last night about the colonization of South America and how that really affected South America today and how it was about why North America is wealthier than South America. And just hearing about that injustice made me really mad.

And then I watched a video about Puerto Rico and how Puerto Rico was mistreated by the United States. And that made me mad. So I would say injustice. I just, I don't like that. I like fairness. I like equality. You know what I'm saying?

Mm-hmm. I feel like the first time that was like brought to my attention in a way that like, oh, just like grinding my gears to which is just mercy. Yes, just mercy, such a good movie. Grine Stevenson, right? Yeah, Michael B. Jordan, your celebrity crush was the star of that movie. Can you stop mentioning that he's literally I watched all three Creed movies with Abby's dad

Thinking that Abby would watch them with me because Michael B. Jordan is Creed He's the star of the movie, but you you wouldn't watch him with me. I just said that But I just give that answer because it's like my knee jerk Response, he's a very attractive thing. You're a celebrity crush. I don't just want to sit there and like look at him. Look, that's obsessive. Oh my gosh. What's one vice you wish you could give up?

I think I struggle with balance in life. I really, really struggle with that. I'm like all in or nothing. And so I really wish that I had more of a tendency to have balance. But for whatever reason my brain just goes zero to a hundred with whatever I do. And-

The maximizer in you. Yeah. And so like, you know, oftentimes I, you know, I continue to edit and work past five o'clock. I, I don't know, I think it's important. And then I go through these like weird shifts of like, oh, I need to like stop focusing on work. I need to focus on my family. And then I'm like, oh shifts of like, oh, I need to stop focusing on work. I need to focus on my family.

And then I'm like, oh man, I'm falling behind. Like I'm not doing the best I can with what I've been given. I need to work harder here. And so I just really struggle with balance. And I think that's a downfall that I have is balance. Mm-hmm. Maybe a little bit of self-discipline. Yeah. It's not that you're lazy when Chef feel like could be the misunderstanding of not being

a discipline person because you're the furthest thing from lazy. It's just like having order because no one is really setting your order for you whereas they have kind of your whole life. But you hate being told what to do is another thing too. Yeah, I guess you're right. You go to the beat of your own drum. Yeah, I guess you're right. You go to the beat of your own drum. Yeah, I guess you're right. That's a good thing.

It makes you a good leader. Thank you. What are you most excited about these days? Oh, man. I'm just excited to, I'm definitely excited to see our two boys play with each other and bond. I'm really excited for that. I don't really know what else I guess right now.

I'm stoked for this podcast. This has been like a fun new project that I've put a lot of time into this past year. And so I'm excited to see what this turns into. And I still can't believe we've had guests on like Olympic gold medalist. I know what I'm gonna say. It's already done some incredible things

that I never thought we could do. Actor Taylor Lautner and then other big- Lautner, Matt. Lautner, I keep saying his name wrong. He literally, we literally opened the podcast with confirming that he goes by Lautner and then I kept calling him Lautner the whole entire episode. I know I'm more comfortable with Lautner still honestly. But yeah, I'm just that excites me. I'm excited for that and I'm excited for this new stage of fatherhood and excited too to have more time

with you now that we have more family in town. I think we're gonna get more alone time, hopefully. I know we're gonna have another kid, but I'm hoping we can have more time together. What's the best compliment you've ever received? I don't know, I don't know. I really, I like to see, like when I work really hard on something,

I love to see people enjoy that thing. Like there's a video I really worked hard on. I like to see people and enjoy it and have some sort of like life change from that. But yeah, I don't know. That's not really good answer. Sorry. No, I think that's a great answer. I feel like that's where you like seek feedback the most? So when it's positive feedback, like, that's good. What's the priciest thing you've ever splurged on? This house, definitely this house. But it was worth it. We have your parents living with us now.

We have, I, first of all, like this is, this is big. Are we really gonna do this? And now we're, every single room is being used. Like we're it. It's yeah, it's great. Honestly, we, well, we went to a, we chose a less expensive location to get opt for a bigger house. And it's so nice because like when this baby comes, my parents will be staying here. Your parents will be staying here. Well, you have another baby, plus at one time, my grandparents are coming and my brother and his wife.

We just got a couch for the lofts that we can have. It's a sofa sleeper. It's a sofa sleeper, so yeah, it's nice that we can have friends and family stay. We're gonna have people in all the guest bedrooms and all the living space is sleeping, so we're gonna pile people in here, and that's exactly why we wanted the space,

so I feel really thankful. Matt, sweet or savory? Ooh, probably savory, actually. What? I'm gonna call BS on that one. Well, I do love sweets, but. Slurpee is Matt, 7-11, Slurpee, there he came me. Here's the thing, I usually go to sweets when I don't,

I'm not like fulfilled from my actual food. So if I'm eating like good, savory food, then I don't even feel the need for sweets. I usually turn to sweets when I'm not, when I'm not full. Say what does it mean? When I'm not full. Say what does it mean when I'm not full? Say what does it mean when I'm not full? Say what does it mean when I'm not full?

Say what does it mean when I'm not full? Say what does it mean when I'm not full? Say what does it mean when I'm not full? Say what does it mean when I'm not full? Say what does it mean when I'm not full? Say what does it mean when I'm not full? Say what does it mean when I'm not full? Say what does it mean when I'm not full?

Say what does it mean when I'm not full? Say what does it mean when I'm not full? Say what does it mean when I'm not full? Say what does it mean when I'm not full? Say what does it mean when I'm not full? like Kava. I love a good Greek bull from Kava. So freaking good. Or a breedable from Chipotle. What makes you smile the most? These are all super. These questions are all like, um, very broad. I guess I'm probably Griffin right now. Probably Griffin. Just like playing with him makes me really smile and giggle and he's a really cute kid. He's so cute. Yeah. What's one thing people don't know about you? Gosh, we share a lot. So I don't really know.

I know. I don't really know. Probably that I like to sing. Probably that I love music and I'd like to make music. That's something that I'm- I feel like a lot of people don't know that easy. Yeah, it's something that I want to start putting out. I haven't really released music at all

in the time that we've done social media. Can I tell them? You can tell. All right, wait, really? I guess you can tell them. I haven't really released music at all in the time that we've done social media. Can I tell them? You can tell them. Wait, really? I guess you can tell them. I don't know. Okay, so Matt, little story here, Matt, when we were dating for six months, was it? Yeah, it was six months. Wrote me a song, and I still remember that night. We were in the living room of my parents' house, right? It was December. Yeah. And I think my parents were there too when you first sang it. But he sang me this song

that he wrote me himself and played the guitar. And it was so special and so beautiful. And then recently Matt actually had that song produced. And now it's on Spotify, but he literally never told anybody including me. He never told me that this song was literally public. See I got it on Spotify and then it's not perfect. It's not something that I like really I don't know I just haven't felt the urge promote it because I'm like I want to put out music that's like really really good. It is really really good. I think my worst fear in putting out music is like having a Rebecca Black Friday situation, kind of like when Rebecca Black song Friday blew up because everyone was making fun of it,

and that would suck so bad to have a song like that that people just make fun of it. I want to just make fun of it. But you know, there's definitely good parts of the song, but there's parts that still need work. And I think part of it is definitely me, because I'm out of practice. I haven't been doing music very much, the past couple of years, but also I think, having the right team behind your music

as far as producer and a mixer, and some of that can master the music too. There's all these different jobs. I even know this until a couple months ago, but there's all these different people that work on songs to make songs like really, really good. And having that team is really important too. So we'll see what happens.

I definitely want to- I love them the name. It's called Here to Stay. The name- And if you look at it on Spotify, here to stay, the album cover, or not album, this is a single. Oh my gosh.

I don't know anything about music. The single cover, like the image, is a picture. Did you take it at the jewelry store when you went to get my promissering? It was literally, yeah, it was literally the picture. I took it at the jewelry store. I think I'm still wearing that ring, to this day, seven years later.

Yeah, I wrote it because I was like letting Abby know, hey, I'm here to stay. I want to get married. And this was all senior year of high school when we had been dating for six months and I did add in a new chorus to the song for getting it produced but It was really really sweet because we were actually driving home from California where we were it was like not even a month ago Yeah, and I think

Matt you had the intentions of like recording Me listening to the song for the first time. I mean, I thought it'd be cool like to take a video of you like hearing the song for the first time. And I agree. But I just I didn't do it because I didn't know I felt I didn't know how I felt about the song. I didn't feel like the song was as good as it could be. And so I just held off and held off and I was like you know what screw it. I don't need to record Abby's reaction, I don't need the video of this. I should just show her this song because I wrote this song for her,

and this is her song, and if nobody ever else, if no one else ever listened to this song, it doesn't matter, this is for Abby, and she deserves to hear this song. And you still haven't told anybody about it. Yeah. So it was really special just like in the cart listening to that,

it literally made me cry just because it took me back to us being in high school. And like think about how many high school boyfriend has ever written their girlfriend songs. And like here we are now married, two kids, like you actually had it produced. That's the other thing that's so incredible. You literally wrote the song too.

It was really sweet that you really liked it. Like the fact that you- I keep listening to it on repeat. Yeah. Which, like, that in a loan makes it all worth it. But then I'm also like, it's that same situation as if- It was a new chorus. If you're-

The whole up that, like, if your mom is like, you're the best actor ever, but then it's like your mom, you know what I'm saying? So it's like, how accurate is that? Because you're definitely biased. Like, you're like, this song's amazing, Matt. And I'm like, you're literally my wife and this holds a special place in your heart. So I'm glad that you think it's amazing, but I'm like. I think it's beautiful.

Thank you. So you guys should look it up. And it's there. Matt wasn't gonna tell you, but I'm here to expose you today with my interview. Wow. Okay, Matt, this one is really deep. Heels or flats or sneakers?

What? Where did you get this? I've never worn high heels. No. I don't think they make high heels and you're a big man. I'm sure I think we do take that once for a while. I put on your dress for a take-top,

but I don't think I wore heels in that. I think I just put on your dress. Uh, yeah, I've never worn high heels. By the way, the picture you put on your story other day from us seven years ago at six flags, I look so little. You are little person. You forget that you're little. You're very short Abby.

Well, I think that because I have a big belly, I just feel big in every way. You literally have a foot difference in height. And I think you forget that like every day. Matt, what makes you feel the most like yourself? Probably when I'm creating. I just love being creative. I've always loved to do that. And so when I'm creating something,

I feel fulfilled. It's fun to do that. Window or aisle seat? Oh, definitely window. I love looking out the window. Wait, now I feel so bad because I always take the window. It's okay. It's all good.

You never told me. I just love the window. I love to look out and stare at the clouds and look down. It's okay. It's okay. You never told me. I just love the window. I love to look out and stare at the clouds and look down. It's so pretty. What's your current TV character obsession? TV character? Hmm. That's kind of hard. Um, am I watching any TV shows? I've been watching mainly movies recently. Yeah. What's your favorite TV show? Breaking Bad is probably the best TV show. I use your favorite character. Or Game of Thrones. But for-

Say your favorite character in both of those. Breaking bad. It's gotta be Jesse. It's gotta be Jesse. And for Gama. Actually, I kinda started to like Hank a little bit. Really? Yeah.

See, I don't like Hank. I don't know why. I just, hmm. No, I felt so bad for him. But, yeah, Game of Thrones, gosh, I'm forgetting the ending now, probably John. There's so many characters in Game of Thrones, I don't even know how to-

John Snow, right? How could you say anything other than John Snow? John Snow, he's my guy. Okay, Matt, what's your favorite piece of clothing that I wear? Your undies. Okay. You like my undies?

Do like your undies. I literally ask like my Andy? Do like your Mondays. I literally ask you all the time like, could you just like walk around your underwear more often? And now I guess we can't because your parents live with us. And I also have a son. That's true. But he's also not remembering any of that. He's one year's old. I see that's the thing. We don't know when he's gonna start remembering. Yeah, but I don't want him to ever meet me. That's true. But like my first memory is when I was three years old and that was a long time ago. Do you remember your mom and her underwear? I mean, she did from time to time walk around

and her underwear when I was a child, yes. Do you feel okay about that? Eventually, when I got older, as like mom put some clothes on. And you know what, we got past that. I feel bad. I feel bad roasting my mom right now. You're not roasting her? I love you mom. I feel bad. I don't want to get that away. I feel bad roasting my mom right now. You're not roasting her?

I love you mom. I love you very much. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Sometimes in life, we are faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear. I know when we got that unplanned positive pregnancy test back in December, we were a little thrown off. Definitely put a wrench in our plans.

I was not expecting that at all. And not only that, I think we had a really big life change with having our first baby in the first place. And so with all these big life changes, we realize it's really important to focus on our mental health. Yes, we talk a lot about mental health nowadays, but sometimes getting those resources

actually for ourselves can seem confusing. So if you're thinking of starting therapy, give Better Help a Try. It's entirely online, so it's not intimidating to get started, and it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited exactly to your schedule. It's a really easy process. Basically, all you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire, and then you will be matched with a licensed therapist. And what's great is that you can switch any time. If it's not a great fit with your therapist, there's no extra cost. you can find one that's more suited to you and your personal needs So it's great if you're trying to develop positive coping skills or set boundaries

So let therapy be your map with better help visit better help dot com slash unplanned podcast today to get 10% off your first month That's better help helpe.com slash unplanned podcast. Great. Let's take it back to baby Matt. You were a middle child. Do you think that you have middle child syndrome? What even does that entail though is my question because I forgotten.

I wouldn't say I'm for gotten. I definitely, I think my parents focused on me a lot because I like to do a lot of activities when I was a kid, but I feel like I'm always wrong. I feel like my parents wouldn't admit this, but I feel like it's always like, oh my older brother, like he knows what's going on. And my little brother, he's just a baby. So we have to like take care of him,

but like Matt, Matt's fine. Like he's okay, we don't need to worry about Matt. Do you think that has more to do with you being the middle child or you're just being fiercely independent? Probably me being fiercely independent, but also part of me being independent might have to do with me being a middle child. That's true, actually.

So I feel like that's a lot of middle children, but I might relate more to the first born in some instances though. What did you like to do as a child? Oh my gosh, I loved to dance, play video games, I skateboarded a lot. I was so into skateboarding as a kid. I wished I'd live in California, I wished I could go to the skate park all the time because I think the closest skate park was like 45 minutes away from us. So it was a long drive, but I did plays, I did theater, I played soccer,

baseball, basketball, even did football for a little bit until I had a tumor that was discovered on my spine and I had to quit football for the surgery. But yeah, I mean, I just love to do it all. I really enjoyed sports, but I also love performing and I love to sing, so there was a lot going on as a kid. What was one of the hardest things you went through as a child? Definitely the tumor.

I think that was like a really big wake up call for me. I don't know, I just, I think that was my first instance of realizing how fragile life is. And I didn't know if my life was going to end. I didn't know if I was going to be paralyzed. It was a very scary surgery. When I saw my mom after getting the MRI where they found the tumor, she was just in tears.

And I immediately knew that something was wrong. We thought it was growing pains. I was growing really fast. I was like a growing boy and I ate a ton of food to my parents. They're like, oh, he's just, he's growing. He's just, you know, about to go through puberty and that's why he's having all these pains. But it was really the tumor causing all that pain. And oddly enough, it was a tumor in my, like right by my spinal cord in the middle of my

back. And it was somehow triggering pain in my hip. So I would just like whack my hip all the time. Yeah, that must have been so tough for your parents. How do you think you would feel if you had to reverse the roles now that you're a dad hearing that diagnosis for like my bar boys? I honestly, I heard this when we were at St. Jude

learning about cancer patients there and how that affects the families. And I feel like I would not want to be in the parent situation. I feel like my parents must have just been wrecked going through that. And me thinking about Griffin having a tumor or having cancer or something like that would wreck me and I would 110% wish that I could switch places. And so I can only imagine how my parents felt when the tumor was found on my back, but I know that they would have definitely

switched places with me. Yeah, so thank goodness the surgery went well and it actually wasn't a cancerous tumor. And everything was okay, but do you feel like that scare? Well, I mean, it was not even just a scare. You did have a tumor, you did have to get a section to be back on a roof, but you think that experience like changed you in some way or changed your childhood?

Funny enough is I don't think we'd ever be here doing this podcaster beyond TikTok or any of this if it wasn't for that tumor in my back. And that's because growing up, I always did theater, but being stuck in a bed, recovering from that surgery, I started to pick up film production and editing, and I would make these silly videos where we would take my nerf guns and like put like lens flares on the end of the nerf gun and make it look like we were like shooting things and I made all these short films as a kid. I made, I have so

many stupid dumb videos that I made as a kid for class projects or just simply for fun because I got deep into editing and making videos and that whole thing came out of this tumor on my spine. Matt, who influenced you the most from your childhood into adulthood? Who influenced me? Definitely my parents. Your parents? Oh yeah, my parents. And I, you know, I think I take for granted a lot, how lucky I am to have two parents in my life. A lot of people don't have that. And not only did I have two parents,

but I had two parents that love me and cared about me and love me enough to allow me to make decisions for myself about what I want to do. They didn't force me down to a certain path. They didn't say, Matt, theater doesn't make any money. The arts don't make any money. You can't do that. But they supported me in all my endeavors.

And they were cool with me. They were cool with me going off the college to pursue a degree in the arts, even though, you know, honestly, now looking back, I probably wouldn't encourage people to pursue art series. I would encourage people to pursue the arts for the job. But I feel like people are better off pursuing art outside of college and being successful that way way rather than learning something in school because like you can't teach one YouTube in school. Just to clarify, you're not saying that they shouldn't get training. No, exactly.

It's not within the walls of a university. Exactly. Training is so important, but I think like a lot of art forms change so rapidly that to get training in a collegiate setting doesn't make sense and I think oftentimes you're overpaying. Yeah. So anyway, but yeah, I think that's why I'm just so grateful for my parents, they're amazing parents and they did an amazing job

and I hope I can do the same for my kids. You might have already answered it in that response, but what would you think is like the main lesson your parents taught you? My parents taught me hard work. They taught me respect. They taught me, I would say selflessness. I feel like my parents were good about

making sure we were volunteering and looking out for the little guys, like making sure that we included other people. And I try to still do that. Sometimes I forget, sometimes I get so wrapped up with the busyness of my life that I don't volunteer for a while or don't do something like that. Sometimes I forget, sometimes I get so wrapped up with the busyness of my life that I, you know, don't volunteer for a while or don't do something like that, but I really appreciate that instilling all those good values in me. They really did do that.

Yeah, I've great parents. Is there anything that your parents did that you don't want to do as a parent? Ooh, good question. Respectfully knowing that you have like amazing parents. And so that question's so hard though, because they're just doing the best they can. Exactly. And I'm just doing the best,

I'm sure there's things I'm doing that are wrong as a parent, but I'm a human, I can't be perfect, nobody can be perfect. So I hesitate to say anything, because I'm like they just did the best they could. Yeah. And I really respect that. And I also know that just because you tried hard,

maybe sometimes like trying hard isn't enough. Isn't enough, you need to try smart. You need to make sure that you're working smarter and not harder, but you know, they're reading parenting books. And they did approach it in a smart way. They didn't just try hard, but they also read up and did their research on how to be a good parent in. They talked with other parents.

They did, yeah, exactly. So I think they did a great job. Yeah. What was one of the hardest losses you've ever faced? That's tough. I've been fortunate. I have both my parents. I have all my siblings.

But I have had losses in my life. And I think losing my great-grandpa really put life in perspective, because he was just such an incredible rock for our whole family. And growing up, we'd celebrate holidays at my great-grandpa's farm. And that's where I wrote a four-wheeler for the first time and got to see corn fields

and played in the dirt with my cousins. And we had play football and basketball and just we have so many great memories there and so losing him was tough. Losing my great grandma was tough too but being a young kid I didn't quite grasp as much of what was going on because I was so young so I was eight when she passed. Were you ever bullied at any time in your life? You know it's weird I think when I was, you know, initially I would say no, but I think, I think when I really think

to the definition of what it means, I would actually say yes. And I don't know, there is a- I would agree. Yeah, there was a, there was actually somebody in my life in my senior year of high school that actually told me to my face in front of people too, which was actually like shocking,

because it just, you don't realize it's happening when it happens, but there's someone in high school that literally told me to my face to kill myself. What made him do? You know, I don't know. I think there's just some people that have a lot of stuff going on in their lives and they feel they need to lash out and I do think hurt people, hurt people, but I also do think that there are just some people in the world just like, just like you have some people who are by nature really, really good.

And for whatever reason, they're just amazing and they're so kind and they're always so, so nice to people. I think you also people on the flip side, right? I think I kind of view it like a bell curve. If you take a statistics course, most of people rely in the middle, right? Like they do good and bad. And then you got those outliers. There's not as many of them, but you got the really good people that are just for whatever reason incredible amazing

nice humans and then you have the reverse of that and I don't I don't want to necessarily say that this person was that but something had to be wrong for him to tell me to my face to go myself and it happened at lunch it was senior year of high school and I think I was trying to fit in with the crowd that I really wasn't welcome in. You know, I think they were some of the kids that might have been kind of more in the popular side. But I wanted to make, I kind of wanted

to be part of the cool kid crowd, but it just wasn't working out for me. And I think when that happened, I was like, OK, I need to find a different lunch table to sit at because this isn't good. It's not healthy for me to be told by this person to go, okay, myself. Did anybody else say anything?

No, they didn't. I don't necessarily blame them. I don't think that they're evil for not saying anything because there's been situations in my life where I probably should have spoken up, but it's uncomfortable when someone says something so out of the ordinary. Sometimes you don't even know how to respond as a bystander. That's where we were dating senior year

for high school and I don't remember you telling me that in real time. I only remember hearing that after. In retrospect. Yeah. I remember I did tell you that because we used to face time like every day in high school. You told me the same day happened. I don't think I told you the same day, but I think I eventually did tell you. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I think it happened after at least a couple months. Yeah. So we did start dating in high school. What made you wanna date me since it was your 18th birthday, and you'd waited 18 years to ask a girl

to be your girlfriend or to go on a date? Well, I had never been on a date before. You know, I did reveal what, I do say you're my first kiss, but like if we wanna get into the technique, how these of it, I did play, I'm not. I did play, I don't, I think it was called, what is it called? Like truth or dare?

Not truth or dare, it wasn't, I'm thinking heads up. Oh, away. Oh my gosh, what are the odds? It's been the bottom. That's it, what are the odds? You're playing what are the odds? And this girl and I had to like, we like barely pecked on the lips

and my freshman year of high school. Was it exhilarating? No, it really wasn't. I barely remember it. Would you have a crush on her? No. Okay.

And the other time was, I can't believe I'm saying this, when I was 13, I was playing Truth or Dare with my cousin and her friend and somehow I got there. You kissed your cousin. No, not my cousin, my cousin's friend. And yeah, but again, I don't really necessarily count that. And then when I was in kindergarten, I remember kissing a girl. But it's like I was literally six years old. So we can, I'm gonna count that.

We don't need to count that. I don't know, but I did. I was, I was a ladies man for sure. So what made you date me? What made me date you? Wow, you know, I really liked your character. I thought you were easy to talk to. I thought you were super sweet.

I thought you were just a cute, cute girl. And it's funny, like I didn't, I didn't have that initial attraction right away. Like it wasn't, I had known you for a while. I knew you before my senior year. We had been kind of like acquaintances from even when we were like 13. But something about that summer before our senior year of high had been kind of like acquaintances from even when we were like 13. But something about that summer before our senior year of high school, I started to view you as like,

wow, this girl is like not only is she like really sweet, but she's beautiful, you know? And I just, I thought you had really pretty eyes, I thought you had really pretty eyelashes. I mean, you were looking more and more like a woman. You know, like when you were a kid, you were just like a girl and I'm just a boy, but like we were both mature and I was like, wow, this is a beautiful woman. And so I was like, I need to ask this girl on a date. If you were eating nachos, pause what you're doing right now

and share a podcast with your friend. If you were eating chicken nuggets, same thing, stop eating chicken nuggets. That's what you're asking. Nachos, the cheese coagulates and then it gets so you can't eat cold nachos. Sorry, that was rude. If you're eating nachos, finish your nachos first, then share the podcast with a friend or family member.

Yeah, you can reheat just about anything else, but nachos. Yeah. What do we think, and should people share the podcast with their ex? Would that be- No, you should not contact your ex. But that might start like a fun conversation. Like that might be kind of like a fun party story where you're like, I shared Matt Navies podcast with my ex and this is the conversation that fun.

Definitely depends on the relationship, but most ex we should just leave as. Okay. Leave in the dust. What if, okay, so maybe not like an ex-husband or wife, what about like an ex-girlfriend or boyfriend? Oh, definitely not an ex-husband or wife. Oh my God. I'm just messing around.

But seriously though, if you are eating nachos, eat your nachos first. Share it with the person that's ringing you up at Target. Yes. You know, share it with your elderly neighbor. They probably could use some entertainment. Yeah, share it with your college roommate. They might want to know what's going on.

For sure. You know, so share the Taylor Lauderaf. So that was pretty cool. Laud share the Taylor Laudera episode. That was pretty cool. Laudner. Taylor Laudera. Sorry. Okay, not back to the episode, sorry. Early on in our dating experience,

we talked about getting married, which I don't feel is as uncommon for a high school girl. Yeah. But that's pretty uncommon for a high school boy. Totally. Where did that come from? You know, I just think I was raised, just the way I was raised,

I think I've viewed dating in a way of being for marriage. And so I took it really seriously, like to the point of we've been dating for two weeks, and I almost cut things off after two weeks of dating, because I was like putting the pressure on myself Like right then and there of that early stage of what I married this girl and I think part of me was like a friend That's pala little unhealthy. Yeah, I know it was extreme But I definitely viewed from my

World view I Was like this is for the purpose of marriage and so if I'm not dating with the intention of marriage, then there's no point. And what I did come to realize though, I had some friends talk to me about this, they're like, hey, look, if this is good, if you're enjoying this, if you like this girl, if you guys are getting along well, you don't have to make up your mind.

Like you don't have to have some big idea right now in your head as far as the marriage thing. And if it's just, if it's good as it is, and you're, you know, head over heels for this girl, like, why would you break it off? And so, yeah, I just, I didn't. And I kept dating you. And, and by six months in, I think we're like talking about marriage a ton. Yeah. I feel like that's part of you being like in general, you're kind of black and white on some things. Yeah, I Think you've gotten more shades of gray recently totally totally, but I think I think my default is

Like one or the other right. Yeah, that is my default So we got married okay, wait, maybe I shouldn't skip to that part. Oh, it's okay. We can talk more about dating stuff. I feel like we talk about it a lot. We do. And it's funny when we started, when we started this whole journey of social media and stuff, I remember I was like, what should we even make videos about? And I'm like, I guess it's interesting that we're like young and married. And in the corner of the world that we lived,

like not a lot of people did that. You know, we've made a lot of friends in Utah now, where a lot of people in Utah will get married younger just because of the culture there. But in Missouri, especially St. Louis, where I'm from, like, nobody gets married when they're 20 and 21. Like nobody does that.

My parents got married when they were 28 and 30, 27 and 29. They're like in their late 20s. So yeah, well we did with her. They did a very common age to get married. Yeah. But we were weird. We were weird. But I liked that.

You liked to be weird. Yeah, I think it kind of brought us closer together. Like being different, I think brought a bond out between us that was really special and you know it was really really sweet going to the same college together because we had dated long distance and I was just over the moon about being in the same town with you and I just went to your dorm room all the time to hang out with you and remember being in ballet class because we were pursuing the arts freshman year and

I could not take my eyes off of you While we were doing ballet and I just thought you looked so hot. I was like this woman in a skin tight Leotard is my girlfriend who I'm gonna marry and she is like in the same room as me. I get to Do ballet with her. This is awesome Such a different time. Yeah. So as a single person, you envisioned your wife, how am I the same or different from that, in a personality or looks wise,

from that person that you pictured. Oh my gosh, I don't know how in depth I wanna get with this. You know, I think I want to get with this. You know, I think I envision myself marrying like a really sweet girl. And I think you are that. I think you definitely. Oh, you think? I think you shocked me a little bit

because I think initially like you were this really sweet, you know, shy, timid girl, like very sweet. But then this like this other side of Abby came out and you know, I do like them out you. I like your silly. Every short girl has to have a little sass because it's us against the world. That's true.

If you're the shortest person in the room, it's like you automatically have to make your personality five inches taller. But I think that shocked me. But I do like that because you make me laugh. Like you're funny. I think you're hilarious. I think you're such a goofball.

But that really shocked me. That's definitely different than the person I thought I was getting into a relationship with. You really hid your true personality at first. You really did. I did not hide it. You were so timid. You didn't want, you were scared. I think you, you really wanted me to like you. I know you had been crushing on me for a while. So I think like for you, you just didn't know how much to give up right away. And I just thought of you as a shy person at first. I think I just honestly was so young.

I didn't really know who I was. But I think maybe the personality that you had with your girlfriends, the silly, crazy, happy, definitely came out later on. But that was not there in the beginning. I learned a lot about you too though as we were dating. Yeah. But um, so you didn't really answer my question. Sorry, what was the question again? Looks wise. Truthfully, did you? I did not think as a married short girl. Yeah. I thought I was going to marry a tall queen, not a, not a short

girl. Really? Yeah. I thought I was going Marriottal Queen, because I'm six too. You're five too. I did not expect myself to get with someone that little, but I think it's cute. Those are high difference ever pose an issue. Never, I mean, actually, I'm sorry. Now, no, in the beginning, that was actually something that I was like, am I okay dating a girl

who's a foot shorter than me? You know? Like we're not talking about six inches here. I, like how would, what do you mean, logistically? I don't know. Like is it hard for you to kiss me? Because it is. I mean, I do kind of have to bend down to kiss you.

That is true. I mean. The major issue I find is not necessarily related to height, but like our hands together. Your hands are very tiny. My hands are way too small And so when we waffle yeah, it stretches my fingers out so bad at like hurts. Yeah, so then I have to Pancake yep, sorry You became a dad at a very young age. Yeah, 20 wait. What was I last year? 23 24 24 24 I just turned 24 at a very young age. Yeah, 20, wait, what was I last year? 23. 23.

23. 24. I just turned 24. I was 23. Gosh, 23 seems so young now, because I'm 25. Can you believe I'm the one that I'm freaking 25? It's only two years different, so let me get your head. 23 is like so much closer to 21 and 21 seems like a kid.

And 25, and 25 seems like an adult. So it's like 21, you're not really an adult, you're still a kid. How has that shaped you? Wow. Or has it changed you? Howard thing to say. And 25 seems like an adult. So it's like 21, you're not really an adult, you're still a kid. How has that shaped you? Wow. Or has it changed you? Um, it's, it's changed me a lot.

You know, I've, I've had to become more responsible. Um, I think about, I wake up in the morning, it's not just like, you know, with me and you, I feel like you're an adult, you can, you know, I obviously want to take care of you as my wife, but like you're also an adult woman. You can take care of yourself. Like the first thing I do every single morning

when I wake up is go and get my son out of bed. And then we'll typically go on a bike ride and then I'll feed him breakfast. So it's like my whole entire schedule has changed for this kid. My world has changed and I love him more than anything. And it's weird to be in a spot where like there's a human being that is completely reliant on you for survival. Like to live, they need you. He can't

get himself out of bed, he can't be himself breakfast. I mean now he can at least grab the pancake pieces and put them in his mouth, but like he can't heat that up in the microwave, okay? And I don't know, it's just, and there's a lot of responsibility there. Yeah, how does that feel? Like I feel like the bond between father and son is like such a unique relationship. Like even reflecting on your relationship with your own dad, like how does that feel to now have that responsibility

and that type of relationship? It just makes me really respect my parents and respect what they did for me as a kid because I've, especially in the newborn stage, oh my gosh, like you think it's a lot of work being a parent to a one year old, tripping a parent to a one month old or a one day old. Oh my gosh, like the first week, you can hardly,

like we all we did the first week of being parents was take care of the child. Like there was nothing else that our full energy was being used to do. And I just, I'm so thankful for my parents doing that for me because I don't, I freaking don't remember that. I don't have any memories of that, but I know they did it for me

and I'm so thankful for them. So just a lot of respect for parents out there. Yeah, and now you're doing it all over again. Yeah. What is that experience like as a husband, walking through pregnancy with your wife? I don't know if anything can really prepare you for it until you're there.

From my experiences, it's definitely shaped me. It's definitely pushed me and it's definitely been really cool to see someone I love grow a baby inside their body. Like how crazy is that? And I have a lot of respect for you doing that for, you know, our son and now our second son. So. How do you feel about your current line of work? that for, you know, our son and now our second son. How do you feel about your current line of work?

Ooh, current line of work. It's weird, like our industry is kind of like the Wild West. You know, it's almost like in a way, creators are just figuring it out for themselves and we're in a weird spot because like, a lot of our content is our life. So it's like, like, what do we show? What do we not show?

How do I make sure that I'm doing all my duties and roles as a husband and spouse, but then also making sure that I'm doing my job as a creative? It's a weird thing. It's the Wild West, and there's no rule book. And laws and regulations that have been in place now for Hollywood are starting to try to catch up to social media. And so it's an interesting space to be in.

Yeah, a good point you brought up is like in the realm of social media, it's largely up to the creators to set their own boundaries. Yeah, totally. What is, if you have one or two examples of like hard and fast boundaries, you've had to establish? There's been some big changes this year for us. You know, we slowly were, you know, making a lot of content around being parents and that's totally fine,

but I think for me what I realized is, I as a creative, because I wanna do the best job I can at anything that I do. And so when it comes to making content with my family, again, I wanna be the best, right? I wanna figure out the way that want to be the best, right? I want to figure out the way that I can do the best job at this. And so there's a conflict of interest there, I think, for me.

When it comes to showing my life and my kids and everything on social media because doing the best job as a dad doesn't always correlate to doing the best on social media. And doing the best on social media doesn't always correlate to doing the best job as a dad. And so for us, I think we had to really evaluate that and take a step back. And we made some decisions to kind of limit how much content we showed of our son. And we made some changes there.

And I think doing this podcast was huge too, because now we're able to create content, which luckily, the listeners are enjoying, and I'm enjoying doing, you know, the viewers are, the listeners are enjoying and I'm enjoying doing, you know, it's content that's separate though from like showing our life. Because I think it can be a little bit intrusive when you have a camera with you 24, seven showing

everything you do. I'm glad that we recognize those changes that needed to be made and were able to implement those. Because again, this is the Wild West, there's no rulebook. And like even reality TV is a very new thing. I think like I was just watching a documentary about the Dougers and like I didn't even realize how recent that was. I thought reality TV has been going on for a very long time but it really has it and so

all of this is very new. Was there any one thing that like really inspired that decision to be made? Obviously it was a decision we made together. But was there any one thing? What do you mean? That was like, okay, this is not and the best interest of our son.

Ooh, you know what was actually really good? Watching the Truman Show. It was just such an interesting movie because I'm like, oh my gosh. He wasn't aware of it. This is social media. I couldn't agree to it. The movie was made before social media existed

for my understanding. Oh, for sure. It was made in the 90s. And so I was just thinking about that. Wow, I think we can learn a lot from this. Yeah. So being a content creator, you see feedback from people

that are completely strangers to you all the time. What is something that makes you feel the most misunderstood? Ooh, you know, it's so funny because I saw a comment the other day that was like, wow, Abby really needs to do more as a mom for her kids or something. It was just like on a, it was just like some video,

I think I was just showing myself like being a dad or like cleaning or something. It was just like on a, it was just like some video, I think I was just showing myself like being a dad or like cleaning or something. And it's just, I just find it. So I think it's, people misunderstand you when they see a snippet of your life. And they just like make a judgment on that. And I think humans do that naturally, right?

I think like it's a survival tactic. It's something that we do. We have to make assumptions in life to just, keep going forward. We can't fully understand everything. Well, that makes sense to me as publicly commenting it, but that's true. That's true, exactly. But people do it, right?

Some people like to be vocal with their thoughts, and so they're vocalizing that thought. They're making an assumption because we all make assumptions all the time. And yeah, but you just can't let it get you down. And unfortunately, while I wish I could read every single comment from people, sometimes you just have to not look at comments because you need to just make sure your mental health is preserved.

And not seeing it all that we are like celebrities. But I know that celebrities probably won't even read the news to make sure that their mental health is okay I doubt they read the magazines at the grocery store probably don't they probably don't read the magazines at the grocery store But I know for us like our version of that would as as creators would be we might just need to take a break from reading comments for a little bit What would you say your biggest goal in the coming years is? For your platform. I don't know what it is yet. I kind of tried to do this with our St. Jude podcast episode where we were interviewing cancer survivors

who were patient at St. Jude. Which by the way, are- We made our goal. We made our goal. We met our goal and we are writing almost 500 thank you cards. Wow. That is like shout out to you guys by the way because that's incredible that like almost 500 people Made a donation of $50 and we're saying dude that like that's like the greatest way you could show your support for us is like through supporting

Charities we choose to bring up. Sorry. I'm You're good. We made we made a goal with that same Jude podcast episode to raise $40,000 and we far exceeded it. We raised episode to raise $40,000, and we far exceeded it. We raised just shy of $50,000. So thank you everybody that donated. But yeah, I think that was one small step in the right direction of I would love to find ways to make content and be creative in a way

that not only is very entertaining, because I wanna make stuff that people wanna watch, right? But I wanted to also do good in our world. And so I don't know what that is yet. I think it's going to be a slow process. It'll be a learning process for me of how I can have those two things work together. But I'm just inspired by creators that are able to make content that's very entertaining in people love to watch.

That also does good. I think a perfect example I talk about them all the time, but Ryan Trayhan with this penny series was able to raise a ton of money for charity and make very entertaining content. And I want to do the same thing. I think there's a lot of good in that. And I think nothing's more rewarding as a creative

to make something that not only entertains people, but affects makes the world a better place. Mm-hmm. My final question for you, I think this was somewhere around 73 questions. Whoa, okay. Wow. What would you say your biggest goal is in life?

My biggest goal. I know that's a big question, but I feel like you hit me with a couple of big questions when you're with me, so I'm just. I constantly ask myself that all the time, and I think maybe my biggest goal is to find joy in every step of the journey. I was watching part of the Sean Mendez documentary that they made about him being a musician, and he was talking about how he had accomplished so much and won all these awards, and he was

performing all these big stages. And to him, he still didn't feel like he had achieved it or made it, you know, so to speak. And I've realized in many ways that, you know, you think that once you get to a certain point, you'll just have this epiphany moment where you just feel so happy and your life is complete. But from talking to people like Sean Johnson, Olympic gold medalist to one gold in Beijing,

she said she had an identity crisis after accomplishing so much. And even for us, I feel so blessed that we were somehow, I don't even know how this happened, but we like, obviously we worked very, very, very hard to, you know, pump out all these videos and grow to, you know, over a million subs on YouTube, but I just still can't believe that we did that. And so now it's like, I guess I think rather than working towards something in that being that, that pinnacle moment, I want to make sure that I'm enjoying ever bit of the journey with being a father, every bit of the journey with being a husband, every bit of the journey

with being a son and a friend and a creative and maybe a musician if I'm going to move more than that. But I just want to make sure that I really appreciate every bit of my life, every step of the way because you just, we just don't know how much time is left on our clock. And I know from experience that whenever I reach a big goal, I end up coming up with some new big goal. And I think the true enjoyment comes out of, you know, finding happiness in the everyday things.

That's good. Your interviewer is uncomfortable and signing up. Do you need to go take a nap? I do, but I'm not going to. You're actually really good at interviewing by the way. Oh, thank you very much. You really like just went off. You did great job take a nap. I do, but I'm not going to. You're actually really good at interviewing, by the way. Oh, thank you very much. You really just went off. You did great job.

Thank you. Because you kind of like read the room and ask questions, follow up questions that were like really deep and really good. And I just think you crushed it. So maybe you have to do calling and interviewing. No, probably not. Probably not. No.

You rather do other things. I'd rather do those things. I'm just kidding. I'd rather do other things. I'm just kidding. I like talking to people and getting to know people, but I also feel like because I know you so well, I feel like I could answer. I could have sat on either side of this. Yeah.

What's funny about- I've played both roles. What's funny about you, Abby, is like you're so talented and gifted and skilled at like so many things that you do, and so many people wish they were you. They so many people wish that they had those skills, but for you, you would rather just, you know, read a book or hang out with your hang out. You make me sound so boring. No, that's not boring. I'm just saying it's ironic how like you're so gifted, but like for you,

your goal at the end of the day isn't to be some Actress like you're really good at acting but like you could care less about acting you just you love being a mom And I really respect that. Oh, you're gonna kick feel low-ears Like do you feel like this big gap here where there never used to be a gap? Now he's down here. Dude your belly's gotten so low. Is that freaking you out? Should we talk to the doctor about that? Should we make sure that everything's okay? This baby's coming out. I'm worried that you're gonna have the baby sooner than 39 weeks. I'm worried that it might come early. I am also worried, so no more mom and dad time. I'm just getting up. Okay, and wrapping up this episode. What did you just send me? Wait, wait, wait. For being on my show. Thank you. Thank you for having me on the

Abby Howard show. for being on my show. Thank you for having me on the Abby Howard show.