The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby - Unclogging My Milk Duct, Co-Sleeping & Our Motel Nightmare

Episode Date: June 19, 2024

Matt and Abby share their hilarious experience with a clogged milk duct, co-sleeping with Griffin, and Matt's motel room snake nightmare. This episode is sponsored by Dreamland Baby, Prose, ShipStati...on & Rocket Money. Dreamland Baby: Go to https://dreamlandbabyco.com and enter code UNPLANNED at checkout to receive 20% off sitewide + free shipping. Prose: For 50% off your first subscription order go to https://prose.com/unplanned ShipStation: Get a 60-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/unplanned. Thanks to ShipStation for sponsoring the show! Rocket Money: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to https://RocketMoney.com/unplanned. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Your milk got clogged. Yeah. You needed some assistance. Wait, are we actually going to talk about this? Totally up to you. Well, I mean, I want to talk about it because I want other people to be like, oh, yeah, the same thing happened to me.
Starting point is 00:00:08 It's not that weird. I have never in my life heard of a snake being inside a motel room. So I debated on what to do. I was like, do I call the front desk? Do I try to move it? Like, how do I do this? When I saw the snake, Griffin was still crying.
Starting point is 00:00:20 And I was like, oh my gosh, did another snake get inside the pack and play? I don't understand these parents at co-sleep. I don't understand how that works. You have a different type of child than I have. It was horrible. It was horrible for both of us. Welcome back to the unplanned podcast.
Starting point is 00:00:35 How are you feeling with your vertigo? Oh my gosh. It's I've never had this before. Why does part of me not believe you? I know you don't. And that's why I'm so frustrated. I feel like something's been wrong every day for the past two weeks. I'm so pissed. Like migraines have been a thing which I totally get it. Like you get you get a lot of migraines but I feel like
Starting point is 00:00:54 you've been taking excedrin every day. Do you think I would just do that just for fun? No, I don't think you do that for fun. So then why do you think I'm faking it? I don't know. I'm like maybe I'm like do I need to take more medicine? Like is everyone else getting these headaches and I just suck it up when I get a headache and don't take it? I don't know. I'm like, do I need to take more medicine? Is everyone else getting these headaches and I just suck it up when I get a headache and don't take medicine? I don't know. I don't know what that is. Everyone that's listening that gets migraines is literally flabbergasted that you have the audacity to say that.
Starting point is 00:01:16 I have had a really bad headache before, but I feel like I don't take medicine that often. If you've had a migraine, it doesn't go away unless you take something. Yeah. Like it stays. Like if I go to bed with a migraine, if I'm able to somehow fall asleep, I'm going to wake up with it. Right now what's happening is this, I don't have a headache, but this vertigo is, oh my gosh, I literally told the doctor, I went to the doctor, I had my blood drawn today. Do you know this? This is not fake. It sucked out your blood? I went and had my blood drawn. Oh my gosh. Because every time I like, how I described it to the doctor, I was like, I'm dizzy. And then she's like, okay, like, tell me more about that. Like, and I was like, well, like when I stand
Starting point is 00:01:51 up, it feels like my eyes are tracking slower than my body, like my face. Like my, it feels like, and then she's like, oh, that's vertigo. Do you ever get into that state of mind where you say a word and it doesn't even sound like it's in the English language? Are you thinking that with vertigo? Yeah, I'm almost like,'s in the English language? Are you thinking that with Vertigo? Yeah, I'm almost like, is that word Vertigo? Or you're like, the... does that even mean, like what does that even mean? Like you say it so many times and it's like, what the heck is that word? Have you seen that trend that's like, words that would be good baby names if they weren't
Starting point is 00:02:20 what they mean? I think Vertigo would be that one. That's kind of cute. Maybe we should name our next kid Vertigo. Have you seen that trend? No, what were the other ones? I didn't know what the other ones were. I think for sure one was like Labia. I can't think of the other one. Should I look it up? I almost said something really raunchy and I'm not going to say it. Yeah, that's crazy. Naming your kid Labia.
Starting point is 00:02:46 No one has done that. That's insane. I bet you someone has done that before. You think? Of course, there's 7 billion people. There's definitely someone walking around there in this world with the name Labia. No way. They're probably listening
Starting point is 00:02:57 to this podcast right now. No way, Matt. I don't even think they let you do that. Like maybe in another language, it means something different. So then it's like cute in their language, you know? I don't really know if I do that. Maybe in another language it means something different, so then it's cute in their language, you know? I don't really know if I believe that. My mom wanted to name my older brother Kane,
Starting point is 00:03:10 but because Kane killed Abel, my dad advised her not to do that. Yeah, especially because you guys are all boys. Arson is another one that they say, it would be a good, Arreola. Arreola. Arson actually, it seems like it should be named, this one said Xanax. That's kind of cool actually. Xanax?
Starting point is 00:03:31 Xanax is kind of a cool name. The way it just, it has an X in it. Like how many people's names? Rosacea? What is even, I don't even know what that means. Rosacea is when your skin is like, has a reddish tint to it. Oh, I've literally never heard of that. I've been speaking English for 25 years,
Starting point is 00:03:45 I've never heard of that word. You know, yeah, your vocabulary isn't as big as you think. I have been reading books though. It's gonna expand it for you. Abby has converted me to being a book reader and I'm now reading all the books that I read when I was a kid. I just finished the Hunger Games series,
Starting point is 00:03:57 I'm now reading all the Eragon books, which I read when I was a kid. The nostalgia is real, I love it so much. And now we read books together at night before bed. Yeah, but you don't even cuddle me anymore. I put... Are you kidding me? I put my hand on you for probably 30 minutes straight.
Starting point is 00:04:11 That's not cuddling me. What is... That counts for something. It's better than nothing. That's physical touch. Come on. I really think my love language is physical touch now. I want to read books while cuddling.
Starting point is 00:04:21 And there's been multiple nights where I've played with your hair while you fell asleep. I haven't done that in the past few days, but that happened, I think last week. I was thinking that's like one of the things that makes me feel like the most like that or when you take care of me. I actually was reading a romance book and she was sick and he was taking care of her and I realized like that is my love language. Like if I'm sick, not with vertigo, vertigo I feel just like I'm pissed off that I have this because I'm not sick. I have no other symptoms except that as I'm looking at you, it's like I look at you, my head moves and then my, I can't, I'm so dizzy but it's just like I'm on a boat.
Starting point is 00:04:55 Anyway, that's my love language is being taken care of and cuddled, so what does that mean about me? I'm gonna say, yeah, I try to do, this morning I made your coffee and I know that like access service, like little things like that. To me it's like, it took me two minutes to make your coffee but I know to you that it's like, you made my coffee. It's even better when I don't ask you to do it. Yeah. Yeah. Like when it's like, surprise. Because I did ask you this morning to do it. I got your Americano from Starbucks and know that was like. Yeah, that was really nice. But even if you
Starting point is 00:05:23 just make it at home. I don't know how to make an Americano at home. No, I don't mean make that at home. Make coffee in general. Should we talk about this trip that we just took, this nightmare trip we took with us? Oh, you think it was a nightmare? No, there were definitely ups and downs. I just, I've forgotten what it's like to travel with kids
Starting point is 00:05:41 because so much of our travels recently, we'll do like a quick 24 hour trip or you know to go see a friend or something and we don't bring our kids with us. I mean it hasn't been that long it's been like four months but it did feel like a while. Yeah it was Christmas that we traveled last time with the boys. No it was my grandpa's funeral. Oh your grandpa's funeral. But you weren't there for the return flight. Yeah, that's true. But I flew out with Griffin on that flight and that was really fun because he had his own seat. But this time our kids didn't have their own seats.
Starting point is 00:06:14 We both had a lap infant and one of them is like 35 pounds. He is. And he's like a wild animal to sit with. I honestly think I had like scratches and visible evidence of spherulacy with it. That was challenging. Like trying to keep our kids entertained for the whole flight. It was hard. Like there was no time to rest. No.
Starting point is 00:06:39 Did you get to like read your book or do anything on the plane? Oh, heck no. It's like you have your hierarchy of needs. I was still on the basic survival the whole time. And honestly, those weren't even being met at times. Imagine if one of us had to go to the bathroom. I think about this. You couldn't have both of those kids on your lap.
Starting point is 00:06:57 So I was like, I'm just gonna have to hold it. There's just no way I go to the bathroom. That is a thing I've realized is very, very difficult to do as a parent of littles is use a public restroom. That is a thing I've realized is very, very difficult to do as a parent of littles is use a public restroom. That's true. I'm at the park with them. I'm like, I gotta wrangle them. Do I fit them both in the stall with me? That feels weird and gross. But what else am I supposed to do? I can't leave them out there. Okay, I thought about that too. Like if I have to go pee, I just have to hold the kid on my hip
Starting point is 00:07:20 because I'm not gonna set them down on the dirty bathroom floor where they're gonna start touching. But what am I supposed to do? I have to sit down to go to the bathroom. Shoot, what do you do? Exactly. Because as a guy I just stand. I never know. I just hold it usually. Like if I had to go number two, I never go number two with the kids because then it's like they're gonna just start touching everything on the bathroom floor. So yeah, what do you just let them roam around the stall? I just let my bladder explode. Well no, I never set, if I have Griffin stand because he can and then I put Augie in his stroller but if I'm in a place where I don't have Augie stroller I just don't go to the bathroom.
Starting point is 00:07:51 What they should do is they have should have a I don't know if this is actually like possible but a built-in little baby seat. Just in the stall. Or like a little high chair in the stall so that you can strap in your toddler and they're not going to run away. It seems gross, but it's like what else are you going to do? Yeah, it could even, it could like come down from the wall. What if we invented that? Like a baby changing thing, but it's a baby seat. It's a toddler holder so that you can go to the bathroom and they're not going to like
Starting point is 00:08:17 leave. Well, also toddlers, that's fine because you can kind of corral them long enough, but babies, I'm like, I don't really know what to do. Yeah, luckily because I had you, I was able to set Griffin down and go number two at the airport because I didn't wanna bring him in. I did go number two at the airport.
Starting point is 00:08:36 When was that? I kind of do that every time I go to the airport. Why? I don't know, it's like a, you kind of just have to go. Like it's in the morning, you have your coffee, you know? That's gross. I'm not a diva. Like I'm not the type of person that has to go number two only at my house. Is that you?
Starting point is 00:08:51 Like do you hold it to go at the house? I don't have the option. I've heard of people that'll do that. They will literally never go out in public. Like they will never use a public restroom to go number two. Crazy, right? No, I can't. I do have to put down the toilet paper though on the seat.
Starting point is 00:09:03 You do that? Because dudes will pee on the seat. I don't want to sit on urine when I'm going poo. That makes sense. Which is kind of gross. You're kind of a germaphobe. I've gotten better. I'll drink after people now.
Starting point is 00:09:13 Oh, okay. I'll eat some food off the floor. I'm not like you, I won't eat everything off the floor. Don't eat everything off the floor. I don't think it's bad to be a germaphobe. I think it's actually probably a good thing. So for those of you that don't know, we went to my cousin's wedding in Missouri, got to see him
Starting point is 00:09:27 get married and got to spend time with my family, got to see Abby's grandma. It was so, so much fun going to the wedding. But something I wasn't prepared for on our journey, we stayed a night at a motel. Two nights. And I found a snake. I literally was about to like sit down at a desk and work on my computer. And right before I took my shoes off, I noticed there was like some cockroaches and some different bugs on the floor.
Starting point is 00:09:53 I'm like, oh, that's kind of nasty. Cockroaches? Well, okay, there was a worm and then there was a roly poly. Maybe, yeah, there wasn't a cockroach. But I looked over and that's when I saw the snake. I literally thought it was fake. It wasn't a massive one.
Starting point is 00:10:08 It was probably... The picture made it look huge. It was probably two feet long. That's huge. But pretty skinny. And I don't know anything about snakes. I don't know which ones are venomous. I don't know which ones will bite you.
Starting point is 00:10:20 But it started moving and I was like, oh, that's not like a fake snake that someone placed here as a joke. This is a real freaking snake. So, so I like debated on what to do. I was like, do I call the front desk? Do I try to kill it? Do I try to move it? Like how do I do this? I was about to get a plastic cup to put over the snake and to like try to put a piece of paper under it. That way I could like hold it in the cup and then like throw it outside. It would not fit in a under it. That way I could like hold it in the cup and then like throw it outside. It would not fit in a plastic cup. But then I was like, wait a second,
Starting point is 00:10:48 what if it like tried to bite my hand while I'm putting it in this cup? So then I went back to the drawing board and I was like, okay, I could just roll up our kids diaper change pad. You know, they're like the green diaper change pad. That's what you used. And I was like, if I just roll this up,
Starting point is 00:11:02 I can turn it into like a long rod, which then I could like shuffle the snake over and push it out the door. So I like started whacking the floor in front of it. So it would get scared and like move. And then I got it over to the door and shoved it out and like whisked it away with, um, with, with the diaper change pad. This episode is sponsored by one of our all time favorite baby brands, dreamland baby. Both of our babies use their Dreamland weighted sleep sack
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Starting point is 00:11:39 It's literally the best, okay? It's amazing and our kids actually need them to sleep. We also give these out as gifts to friends. So if there's somebody that we know in our life that's having a baby, we're like, hey, you need a Dreamland baby sleep sack. Let's go ahead and give you one. And we love giving them out.
Starting point is 00:11:53 We have multiple of them for ourselves. We have like all the different sizes. We love them. And we've been almost using Dreamland baby sleep sacks for two years. Cause we're about to have a two year old. Yeah. And we've, like I said, exclusively used them for every nap and night. They actually have a little swaddle, a weighted sleep swaddle, which is incredible for both
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Starting point is 00:12:36 So go to dreamlandbabycode.com and enter our code unplanned at checkout to receive 20% off site wide and free shipping. This offer is for new and existing customers. Back to the episode. Do you have a pho- You clearly don't have a phobia of snakes. I might develop one after that. We were staying in separate rooms and thank God we were because if the snake was in my room,
Starting point is 00:12:58 I don't think I would've slept all night. Just knowing that he was in your room, I had a hard time. But yeah, we had to stay in separate rooms so the babies could be in separate rooms because if one of them woke up, then both of them would have woken up and it would have just been too much. Well, I started to freak out because when I saw the snake, Griffin was still crying in his pack and play and I was like, oh my gosh, did another snake get inside the pack and play? That would be horrifying.
Starting point is 00:13:20 So I rushed over, got Griffin out and I like checked thoroughly in the pack and play to make sure there wasn't a snake in the pack and play and there wasn't. So that, that was great. I've never in my life heard of a snake being inside a motel room ever. Have you? I mean, I'm sure it has happened, but I've never experienced that. The picture is crazy. We'll have to like share the picture somewhere for you guys to see because this thing was
Starting point is 00:13:45 a snake. Honestly, that was probably a sign for things to come. Yeah. I mean, it really wasn't bad. Overall, the trip was a success, but it was just making me more excited for our anniversary trip without kids because I was like, this is getting a little bit exhausting. I don't know that the trip had its ups and downs there was that moment where your milk got clogged yeah and you needed some assistance. Stop. Wait are we actually gonna talk about this? Totally up to you.
Starting point is 00:14:20 Let's talk about it in a very respectful and vague and vague. We'll use very age appropriate words. Age appropriate? No, I'm just like talk about it in a vague way. Okay, so basically Abby in the past has told me about women getting their like milk duck clogged. Well, no, I've had it. And how the husband would like literally suck out the milk for them.
Starting point is 00:14:41 And I quite honestly thought that was a bit of a stretch. So did Abby. Abby was like, I feel like that's just made up. Like there's no way that anyone ever does that. That just seems weird. They probably just have a kink for that crap, you know? Like, let's be honest. It just seems too crazy. Let me just go start from this. I've weaned completely and by the time of this trip I hadn't pumped or really hadn't nursed in it forever but hadn't pumped for like 10 days. Nothing, not even one time in 10 days. So I was like I should be in the clear. There's no way I'm gonna need to bring a pump with me or anything like that. So we're in the middle of nowhere, Missouri. Seven hundred fifty eight people in the town that we are in.
Starting point is 00:15:26 Yeah. And then around it is not much either. We were three hours away from Matt's parents house. There was about a church on every corner and probably seven American flags per person in the town. Very patriotic. I honestly love it. I love the patriotism. But all that to say, there weren't a lot of resources. Like there was not, I don't know if there was going to be like a clinic. Yeah, you can't just go to Target and buy a pump.
Starting point is 00:15:52 There definitely wasn't a Target. There wasn't a Walmart. There wasn't like a lot of things. The only place to get food in this town. They had a subway and a McDonald's and they were both out of gas station. Yeah. So that let me just paint the picture there. But as time starts to progress. I'm like there is There's something weird going on on my left side. There's some tingling like a little burning feeling I felt this before and I was like, but surely it can't be milk because I don't I'm not producing anymore
Starting point is 00:16:18 I stopped all that and then as the days progressed and I really mean I had this for days, and I was like, it's gonna work itself out, it's gonna be fine. It started to wake me up in the night with like just not pain, but it's hard, the best way I can describe it is like, it's similar to when you feel like you have to go to the bathroom.
Starting point is 00:16:36 I don't really think that's even that accurate, but moms out there, you know what I'm talking about if you know, if you know, you know. It was just something that was waking me up, my body was telling me something was wrong. And then I start to feel this lump get bigger and bigger. And it got to the point where I literally looked in the mirror and I could visibly see like a lump.
Starting point is 00:16:54 And I was like, I can't let this continue because when I've, even some of you may know, if you have a clogged milk duck, it can get infected and cause an infection called mastitis, which is truly horrible. Like mastitis, I've had bad experiences with it. It's terrifying. Imagine getting mastitis after you had your kid nine months ago.
Starting point is 00:17:12 No, I'm not. Does it happen though? It must happen, I guess. I'm sure it can happen. And so I get mastitis, but then also if I got mastitis, I have no access to antibiotics here. And there was just, I was really in a tough place. I was like, I have to do something.
Starting point is 00:17:27 So I'm in the shower, I'm like Googling things, I'm in the shower. Also my phone didn't work so I did feel kind of like, I don't know what to do. But I did know that I would try to massage it out. I was talking to my sister-in-law, she's like, yeah, just get in the shower, massage it out. I'm like massaging, literally nothing is happening.
Starting point is 00:17:40 And so I'm like, what in the world do I do? And so I go to you, Matt, and I'm like, so if you don't want to do this, we're just going to pretend like I never said this and we're going to carry on like normal and we're not going to do this. No, you actually didn't even bring it up. You just said, my boob hurts. My milk is stuck.
Starting point is 00:17:58 Like my milk duct is clogged. That's what I said. My boob hurts. My milk is stuck. Something along those lines. And I was like, do you want me to suck it out? Like I didn't know. But you didn't seem like.
Starting point is 00:18:09 Cause you kept bringing up the problem over and over again. I'm like, I was like, I know, I'm like, do you know what the solution is for that? I just wanted there to be a solution. And so. A different option. It was one of those things where I was like, do you want to talk about your feelings or do you want me to fix the problem?
Starting point is 00:18:23 And eventually after you brought it up multiple times, I was like, okay, can we just go ahead and do this? Cause I feel like you're asking me to fix the problem. I wanted to bring it up and you'd be like, honey, this is normal. Like don't feel embarrassed. Like I know that, like I wanted you to say like the most comforting things because, but the way you responded, you seemed grossed out No at the prospect where do you get these scripts from when I like with what I'm supposed to say for something like that I don't remember exactly what you said and I'm not saying it had to be like script worthy I'm just saying like I felt embarrassed
Starting point is 00:18:59 Which I'm really I mean we've been together for eight years. We've seen a lot. We've been through a lot I don't really feel, I mean we've been together for eight years, we've seen a lot, we've been through a lot, I don't really feel embarrassed around you anymore, but for some reason this was making me feel embarrassed. And so I was like, I don't wanna do this. And then the more I was like, I don't know if I have another option. I tried to get Augie to nurse. He has not nursed for like five months.
Starting point is 00:19:20 You tried for about half a second. He wasn't going to. You put him on your boob and he went, ah! And before he even finished his like initial, ah, you were like, we're done. Like, did you think that he would? You got to try harder than that to get him to latch on. He wasn't going to latch. I will give you that. There is no. That's what I'm saying. I wasn't going to try harder because there's no way he was going to do it.
Starting point is 00:19:39 I mean, I felt like when you were doing that, it was like you have no intention of trying to get this kid to latch, when you did it because it was so quick. I barely tried because I knew it was a lost cause. Basically what happened, I don't even know how to describe this. Do you want to describe it? Not any kind of detail. How detailed do we want to get here? Not at all.
Starting point is 00:19:57 Okay. I'm going to leave out some different parts of the story, but it was trapped for sure. So once the clog came out, thanks to Matt, it just started spraying. Like I would not even, I cannot even, I'm not exaggerating, it was a spray and I was like get a cup. And so I got a cup and it's all, there was probably two ounces in that cup. Well I thought the cup might be a little bit overkill because I had a whole towel to hold down all the liquid and stuff.
Starting point is 00:20:24 No, we needed the cup. It just, yeah, we probably filled up, what would you say, a third of that cup? Okay, Matt's trying to act like it was expired. I'm not a scientist, but I don't think your body can have expired milk. Dude, that milk was expired. Nobody wants to drink that. How do you know? That's fine to see what it tastes like. It sat in there for so long. I've tasted your milk has come into my mouth before in other ways. I'm not going to get into detail about that, but in those times it's actually not tasted bad.
Starting point is 00:20:52 I'm like, wow, this is actually, this is great stuff. Like no wonder my kids like to drink this. Tastes different? Yes. This time it was, it was nasty. Like I almost, I was about to gag with it in my mouth. There was no, cause at first I was thinking, frick, do I need to swallow this? I was like, do I literally need to swallow this nasty old, you know, seven day old milk? It tastes like spoiled milk.
Starting point is 00:21:12 It tasted like spoiled milk. So I, I initially was like, I guess I'll just have to drink it cause I don't know what else I'll do, but it just made sense to spit it in the cup. Cause I would have thrown up for sure. If I would have had to drink that milk, I would have thrown it up. I'm done talking about this. This is so
Starting point is 00:21:26 nasty and just, just know that if this ever happens to you, don't be embarrassed. It's perfectly normal. See, I was embarrassed afterwards. I thought that you were like thinking it was like, you haven't talked about it with me. Like I was like, Oh, I was kind of brought it up. Like, are we okay? Like, is that, are we okay? Like, is this something we're going to laugh about or is this something we're just never going to talk about again? And you've never talked about it. So then I'm like, are you traumatized?
Starting point is 00:21:49 That was very funny. Are you traumatized? I'm not traumatized. No. Are you traumatized? Yes. Maybe you're, yeah, you are traumatized because you haven't wanted to talk about it. It's so weird.
Starting point is 00:22:00 Well, I mean, I like want to talk about it because I want other people to be like, Oh yeah, the same thing happened to me. It's not that weird, but I haven't gotten that response yet, but I know it's happened to other people So if that's you just like let me know say hey, it's okay My husband Had to help me out one time and you know, I really thought that this was just something that people were like, you know exaggerating Like it didn't need to happen, but they just kind of did that
Starting point is 00:22:24 I don't know. Like it was like a good story for them. No, like it like legit happened and it needed to happen. And I have video evidence of a cup of it afterwards. It was so gross. So yeah, I was like, maybe we should give this to the baby. It's two ounces of milk, breast milk. It's got to be better than formula. And you were like, no, it's expired. It was definitely expired. So we didn't give it to the baby either. It just went in the trash.
Starting point is 00:22:49 Thank you to Proz for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. My goal is to grow out my hair as long as I can possibly stand it and it's going well. My hair is growing rapidly. It looks really good. Thank you. Your hair is so beautiful.
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Starting point is 00:24:43 What did you think about the muggy weather in Missouri? Sorry, am I looking at you weird? I just feel so is your vertigo hitting you? It hurt. It doesn't go away. Weird. Can you tell my eyes? I can't tell that anything is going on. I hate humidity and it's official. Yeah, it was actually insane.
Starting point is 00:25:02 Like it was I think 73 degrees one of the days that we were outside and it was actually insane. Like it was, I think 73 degrees, one of the days that we were outside and it felt so hot. It felt worse than a hundred degrees here. All the humidity just made you, it felt like you were swimming in the heat. It was crazy. And with the sun out, not a good time. I love being in dry weather.
Starting point is 00:25:21 When you're in Phoenix and it's 73, you almost need to put a jacket on. Yeah, it's like kind of cold. Kind of cold, I need to put a jacket on. Yeah, it's kind of cold. Kind of cold. I'm going to put on a coat. Yeah, maybe that's the thing. People are always like, people in Arizona are so dramatic. It's like, no, maybe 73 actually feels colder here.
Starting point is 00:25:35 It does 100%. One million thousand. But then I do also think that we kind of adjust to. Yeah. Also the bugs were kind of out of control there. Like when you're in a small town, yeah, cicadas, they're everywhere in the Midwest right now. You like walk up to any tree and there's like a million cicadas in the tree. It's disgusting. And they're so loud. It's really gross. Griffin was
Starting point is 00:25:56 playing with them. He was touching the bugs. Like they're molted. It was so funny. Yeah. He was playing with them. He wasn't scared. He's not afraid of bugs. Today I saw him outside at our house. There was a cockroach. He, Griffin started playing with the cockroach. You keep saying cockroach. There's no way it was actually a cockroach. I saw a cockroach today at our house. Are you sure it wasn't like a beetle, a big bug? Could have been a beetle at our house. Cockroaches are like a big deal. But it was outside, not inside the house. I know, but even that right in our backyard. That kid is fearless. One thing, one thing that almost went wrong at the wedding though is we were about to not have a ring bearer because our son would
Starting point is 00:26:30 not let go of me to walk down the aisle. Really? Yeah, so our whole plan was Abby was going to be at the end of the aisle with like a treat for Griffin or some sort of surprise. We call like his treats like we give him fruit snacks or a cookie like we call that a surprise. So Abby was waiting at the end of the aisle for me to deliver Griffin. I didn't have a surprise for him. I was a surprise. Oh, okay. But we knew that if Griffin was going to choose to run to any one parent, it would be Abby. And so yeah. Oh my gosh, my head. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:27:00 So that was the whole plan. And basically I was holding him. It was about time for him to run down and he would not let go whole plan. And basically I was holding him. It was about time for him to run down and he would not let go of me. Every time I set him down, he started to cry. He wanted me to hold him. And then I basically just distracted him enough to where he forgot that he wanted me to hold him. And I mentioned, Hey Griffin, do you see mama at the end? Go run to mama. And so as soon as the flower girls took off, I got him to take off with them too. But it was like a 50 50 shot of if he was going to go down the aisle or
Starting point is 00:27:30 not. He looks so cute. So, so he was holding his little sides like lapels of his suit jacket. And he looks so proud. He was giggling as he's walking down because he just loved all the attention. He looks so cute in his outfit. Our youngest, Augie, was too thick to fit in his outfit. We couldn't even button the top button. We couldn't button the cuffs of his sleeves. And that was a one-year-old suit. We had a, yeah, and he's not even one yet. It was crazy. I mean, he was just so thick in that outfit. And then the venue we were at was kind of hot.
Starting point is 00:28:05 So after unbuttoning the top button, my mom unbuttoned his whole entire shirt to where Augie was just like, they were calling them Rico Swat. That's what they called them. Yeah, so I was very proud of Griffin. He walked all the way down. He was smiling.
Starting point is 00:28:19 He was giggling. He loves attention. It went well. It's just, weddings were different without kids. Like you kinda just like, it kinda felt like a date, like a free date night. Yeah, it really was a date when we went to weddings. It was so magical, we got to really connect
Starting point is 00:28:35 with one another. We got to dance. But now it's kinda like. Got to actually eat our food at the same time. It's kind of like trading off who's gonna chase the kid around. Yeah. Cause we're trying not to be the parents that just hand our kid an iPad and let them watch screens.
Starting point is 00:28:46 And look, we'll admit it, we kind of had to do that on the plane. We would have lost it. I brought so many activities. And we did do the activities with the kids. But on a three hour flight, or I think it was actually closer to four hours, you cannot keep a kid entertained without a screen.
Starting point is 00:29:01 I don't know how people did back in the day. I'm like, well, they do too. There's probably a lot more screaming involved. Well, I think there's a lot more travel now too. But that was the first time I was like, man, I'm kind of jealous of the parents that feel comfortable giving their kid an iPad or like a screen.
Starting point is 00:29:18 Because there were kids there that were just like lined up and just sitting in place and just chill watching something. And then I was like, but I have to remember why we do this because I just, I don't think that's a good thing. It's a slippery slope. Yeah. And I want our kids to be able to like be in public settings. But right now it's just probably the hardest time it will ever be though. I feel like he'll start to chill out. And also then if he's playing, he can be more independent when he's a little older. You can make the decision that your kids aren't gonna use screens But then if they're playing with other kids that are handed iPads
Starting point is 00:29:51 You kind of lost the battle in a way. Yeah, you can't be like stay away from them Yeah, like they're gonna just kind of mooch off like the other kids screen and watch whatever they're watching or watch them play something You're so right. So it's kind of hard, but every parent's allowed to make their own decisions. So there's nothing wrong with them choosing that. But you know, it's kind of funny. I never drink unless I'm with family. When I'm around my family, I feel like we have alcohol because there's a party going on or we're at a wedding or with your family.
Starting point is 00:30:20 Same thing. People just tend to drink more. And nothing wrong with that, but I wasn't planning on drinking at the wedding really, but then I did. And it actually ended up being a great time though. I don't regret it. I had four. That's a lot more than you normally have.
Starting point is 00:30:39 I'm also a 200 pound man. So four for a 200 pound man is different. You were probably drunk though knowing you. I was not drunk. You're so. I definitely don't 200 pound man. So four for a 200 pound man is- You were probably drunk though, knowing you. I was not drunk. You're so- I definitely don't hold my alcohol. Like some guys, to get to the level I was at, like I was feeling the buzz for sure.
Starting point is 00:30:54 But for some guys, like to feel the way I felt would need to drink like eight, you know? Like some big boys. Was there a reason that you didn't drink at the wedding? It was a cash bar. You don't wanna buy it. That's what it was. You didn't drink at the wedding? It was a cash bar. You don't want to buy that's what it was. You didn't want to spend the money on the alcohol. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:09 And I also don't care about alcohol enough to pay for it. If that makes sense. See, my uncle Bob opened up a tab and he was like, Matt, I've got two drinks for you. Just like, don't don't go crazy. But if you want, you know, some alcohol, I got you. I was like, okay. So like, how does that work with a tab though? Like, could you just say like anyone's name? I feel like, okay. I was like. So how does that work with a tab though?
Starting point is 00:31:25 Could you just say anyone's name? I feel like, yeah, people could abuse it for sure. But then you would need to know the person's name who had the open tab. Well, you could have sucked Uncle Bob dry. I only got one drink on Uncle Bob's tab. I didn't wanna abuse it. And I wasn't gonna, I was like,
Starting point is 00:31:40 should I just pay for it myself? But then since he offered to me, I was like, I wonder if he'd be offended if I didn't take him up on his offer. So I took him up and I got myself a Kentucky mule. It's really good. I also didn't feel like I could drink because I was with the kids.
Starting point is 00:31:52 Like there was no way I would be able to. People drink when they're with their kids. I know, but it was just a lot. My parents. I was already over-sick. Like at family gatherings, my parents would drink. I just have never seen my parents drunk. But our kids are babies and toddlers.
Starting point is 00:32:04 That's one thing that I never want. I never want our kids to see us drunk. I will never be drunk. Not that we get drunk, but I think, I don't think that's good for your kids to see you drunk. If you're going to get drunk, OK, fine. But don't do it around your kids. Why?
Starting point is 00:32:18 Because I think. I mean, I agree with you, but I'm just curious. Because I think it sets a bad example. I think it makes you seem reckless. I think it makes you seem careless. I think it makes you seem careless. Yeah, it's kind of scary if your mom or dad's out of control because you're like, they're supposed to be the ones that are keeping us grounded and safe.
Starting point is 00:32:31 Like I always knew my dad's limit was three beers at a family gathering, which my dad definitely has a higher tolerance than me. He also weighs more than me. So my dad could probably drink more than I could. But yeah yeah I knew that he was drinking responsibly and he wasn't someone that would even drink every day it was really only at special occasions, parties, stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:32:53 I've never seen my parents drunk. Same, same. Which I'm thankful that they had that example. I will say though I feel like the whole law of it being 21 to drink in America I feel like that fuels more underage drinking or I feel like the whole law of it being 21 to drink in America, I feel like that fuels more underage drinking or I feel like it fuels more reckless drinking if that makes sense. Because I think all these kids who aren't 21 who are in college, they get a thrill out of like, quote unquote, breaking the law, because they're really not going to get that trouble.
Starting point is 00:33:19 I know Matt, I think it's so common that they're not even thinking about the fact that they're breaking the law. That's true. I guess that could be fair. Matt, there was underage drinking happening around cops at our college. When we would have like tailgate, there was alcohol on campus and I know that everyone consuming that alcohol was under, that some people were under 21 and there were cops there for the game. It is pretty crazy though that in this country you can vote and serve your country at 18 but you can't drink a beer at 18. That is pretty crazy. Not that it's good for you because I think alcohol is actually
Starting point is 00:33:51 horrible for you. I don't think you should consider, like I don't think it should be something that you form into a habit. Well that was also why I didn't drink. I don't really care about it enough to like appreciate it enough that the damage makes it feel worth it. Shout out to my brother Josh. He was with Griffin for part of the wedding, chasing him around. But yeah. But yeah, poor Griffin.
Starting point is 00:34:11 He was so, so worked up by the end of the night. I did something I've literally never done with him. Did you guys co-slept? We co-slept because he was so worked up. But it was horrible, right? It was horrible. It was horrible for both of us. And I don't understand honestly
Starting point is 00:34:28 how these parents set co-sleep. Like I don't understand how that works. You have a different type of child than I have because my child was, first of all, he face planted off the bed, which made me feel terrible. In the middle of the night, he's just like, boom. He's so tough though. He just, he's cried for one second
Starting point is 00:34:44 then he went back to sleep. Like as I was holding him, but every hour, hour and a half, he'd go, mama, mama, mama. I'm like, I'm right here, go back to sleep. Or every like 30 minutes, I would just get a palm in my face. He's like touching me to see if I'm still there,
Starting point is 00:35:00 touching my face in the pitch black darkness. I'm like, hi buddy, go to sleep. Like we both slept terrible. He normally sleeps 12 hours a night. He slept not even nine. My favorite part of that story is you said when you'd say go back to sleep, he would pretend to go back to sleep and go.
Starting point is 00:35:14 He's like, don't really go to sleep. Cause I play that game with Griffin all the time. I always, I'm like, okay Griffin, I'm going to go to bed, night night buddy. And I'll be like, so he knows, wee, wee, wee, wee. So he knows, like to him, that's going to sleep. I don't think he realizes that when he is asleep that that's actually him sleeping.
Starting point is 00:35:33 Yeah, so what am I supposed to say? Cause I kept saying go to bed, and then he's like, no! Cause he thought I was gonna put it back in the pack and play, and he kept pointing to the pack and play, he's like, baby, and I'm like, no, that's not for babies, that's for you. Oh, it was such a mess. He really did not sleep, neither one of us slept good.
Starting point is 00:35:49 It was so sweet though. He kept gripping onto me and cuddling me in the night, but then it was just something that it's not very conducive to having a good night's rest. Well, he was having so much trouble going to bed and I figured out a little hack. So what I do now is I give him two binkies to hold in his hands while I read him his books before bedtime.
Starting point is 00:36:11 And then I also give him a teddy bear to hold. So now he has not only a binkie in his mouth and binkies in his hands, but he also has a little friend. And then I show him, I'm like, Griffin, we're going to put a koala bear in your bed. Okay. So then we put a stuffed animal in his bed as well and now he's just surrounded by binkies and stuffed animals and we sing and we read books and it just calms him down and literally last night was the first night in like a week where he did
Starting point is 00:36:36 not cry once he got in his crib boom lights out it was awesome you need to burp your face I did I didn't did need a burp, but I got rid of it. I'm sorry about that. I can't put our kid to bed anymore. I mean, I do and it just is a train wreck. He cries. When you when you put him down, he cries. But with me, I think he knows that I have more tough love than you do. Because he knows that if he cries for like a sucker with you, you'll give him the sucker. With me, If he cries to get like something that he wants, but I know it's not good for him. I'm not going to give it to him. That's the truth. You you're a sucker. You'll give him cookies. You'll give him suckers.
Starting point is 00:37:12 You'll you do that. I'm kind of the of the opinion that you need to. I don't have that opinion. I just think age plays a big factor and he's only one. Yeah, but I understand you need to start now. You can't just implement that later. But at the same time, I don't want to just give Griffin what he wants. I'm the only one that's given our kid a timeout though.
Starting point is 00:37:30 No, I've, I've done stuff like that before. Did you call it a timeout? I have not officially given him. I have officially given him two timeouts. Okay. And really he wasn't even upset about it. He just needed to calm down. He gets so worked up. I think it's because he has your energy. He starts to go crazy. He was like. I bet you are kids of ADHD like me. I would not be surprised. I would not be surprised at this point either,
Starting point is 00:37:54 but maybe he's just a normal toddler, honestly. But he gets so sweaty, his face gets red. He can't like, he cannot slow down his body. And I'm like, you're a danger to yourself and others. So you're going to be by yourself for one minute. It's literally just one minute. Yeah. And then he kind of calms down kind of.
Starting point is 00:38:11 I had to cause he bit me in the butt. He bit, he's been biting me too. Yeah. What's up with that? It's not even a malicious thing. It's not like he's doing it when he's mad, right? He gets so excited. He just wants to bite.
Starting point is 00:38:21 Yeah, he gets excited and he wants to bite. I don't know. It's like a happy bite. It's like, I love you. Again, he'll say happy. If he's happy, he says happy. Thank you to ShipStation for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. I know we have a lot of entrepreneurs and small business owners on here that listen
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Starting point is 00:39:54 Now back to the episode. If you guys wanna see an adorable, adorable video, go to Matt's Instagram. It's underscore, wait, Matt underscore Howard underscore. It's underscore Matt underscore Howard underscore Okay, probably if you search Matt Howard it might yeah, it'll probably come up there Anyway, there's an adorable video of Griffin walking down the aisle. He's just more like Tear like I was skipping down the aisle. Yeah To Matt's new song happy. I'm alive
Starting point is 00:40:28 down the aisle. Yeah. Um to Matt's new song, Happy I'm Alive, that song has been like we've been singing it around the house non-stop since you showed it to us. What I love is when I play my music our kids just start dancing. Yeah Griffin goes da da and starts clapping. Like Griffin will start jumping up and down and I love it and I'm like I don't know if that's, does that mean that my music falls into the category of like Elmo music? I don't know. I don't know. I hope that it's a higher caliber than that. But our kids do, they, they freaking, they like dance and stuff. I know. Especially in the car. They'll start clapping in the car if we play one of my songs. And he'll say, Dada, he knows when it's you singing and it's so sweet. And Wait, he recognizes my voice in the song? Yes! I didn't realize that! I thought you just thought it was... Let's do it after this and
Starting point is 00:41:08 you'll see! He knows that it's me. He says Dada! Wait, that's so sweet! Yeah, it's really sweet. Wait, what? I didn't know that! Yeah, we've been listening to Dada's music a lot. This song is so happy, like it's just giving... What's the song that it's like? It's like, uh. Giving Happy by Pharrell Williams. No, it's, well, yes, but, it's gonna be a good day. Oh, Good Day Forrest Frank. It's channeling that energy.
Starting point is 00:41:35 Yes. Gotcha. It makes me happy. I wanna vibe to it in the car. I wanna listen to it in the morning as I'm getting ready. I wanna make a video, like an Instagram story of my morning coffee while I'm listening ready. I want to make a video, like an Instagram story of my morning coffee while I'm listening to this song. And this is honestly my genre of music. Like, I have
Starting point is 00:41:50 described you, you're like, what kind of music do you like? I'm like, I don't know. I just like happy music. You did have that happy playlist that you'd play in the morning to help get you ready for your day. I just like happy music. I like something that's easy on the ears. I don't want something with a lot of heavy emotion. I don't want something that I just want to be happy I want to be joyful uplifting Simple but this one's not I wouldn't say it's simple but
Starting point is 00:42:12 Good, but it kind of it's just easy to listen to it's easy to throw on at any time of the day Yeah, and it really makes me happy who what's that group that Camila Cabello came out of pitch? Fifth Harmony Fifth Harmony, that's the name. She came from Fifth Harmony? You didn't know that? Wait, why do I love Fifth Harmony? You do, because your morning playlist was a bunch of Fifth Harmony songs.
Starting point is 00:42:33 So now I'm like, maybe you could add Happy I'm Alive to your morning playlist. Oh yeah, we can add it. So the song is officially out. You can go listen to it. And it was really sweet. While I was practicing my music on guitar, I realized, wait a second, I need to like, start playing some more songs that Griffin can vibe with.
Starting point is 00:42:52 Not that he doesn't vibe with my music, but he's a big fan of like old McDonald had a farm, head, shoulders, knees and toes. And so I've also recently been playing those songs for my kids. Yeah, he loves old McDonald's. He'll like come up to me, I'll have the guitar and he'll be like, cow? He'll be like- Because we let him choose the animal. Like he had a- and then he'll say- Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:14 And his favorite is to say he had a griffin and then we say with a- Yeah, yeah. So we do interactive guitar playing with Griffin and he loves to pick out the animals. Yeah. I love when he does- I can't wait for Aki to be able to pick out the animals. Yeah. I love when he does- You can't wait for Auggie to be able to do that too. I know.
Starting point is 00:43:28 That's gonna happen soon. It really will. He's crawling fast. It's actually crazy how quick he can get around. I know. Now he's at that stage where everyone's like, he's gonna be walking any day and I'm like- He's speedy. I don't think he's gonna be walking any time soon.
Starting point is 00:43:41 I think he's too thick. Yeah. Are you excited for our anniversary trip? I am. I'm really excited. I think he's too thick. Yeah. Are you excited for our anniversary trip? I am. I'm very stoked. Yeah. We're going to Cabo. Especially after that wedding trip, I was like, man, we need a mommy daddy solo trip. We're going to Cabo. We're sending it and going to a nice resort. We're going to lay out. We're only three nights. Three books. I think it's all you can eat. Oh, heck yeah, it is.
Starting point is 00:44:04 Are we going to eat everything that we can? We've been there two other times. Yeah. So we know what it's going to be like and we know it's going to be amazing. I'm guessing we got the, I think we have the all you can eat package with our, with our stay. I think we have that. I'm going to eat all I can eat no matter what. Okay.
Starting point is 00:44:17 I'm just kidding. It's a shame. Yeah, we know that it's just like, it's kind of a trip that we do that wouldn't have been fun before we had kids, honestly. Yeah. It's kind of a trip that we do that wouldn't have been fun before we had kids honestly. Yeah, but now that we have kids It's so nice to just lounge around and hang out at the pool and eat food It's so relaxed because it's it's different, you know Whereas like before when we go on a trip together just us we would want to hike and do a bunch of stuff Which I think we're gonna get back to that stage once our kids are a little less needy
Starting point is 00:44:41 Okay, you said that you were like Matt Matt, I wanna go backpacking with you. I do. The Nepali coast on Kauai in Hawaii. Yeah. I was like, yes. That sounds amazing. That sounds like my type of trip, which I know a lot of people aren't down for that stuff cause being outdoors, Well, how many days? Not showering.
Starting point is 00:45:00 Two nights is my max. For a backpacking trip. Yeah, I don't even think- I've also never been backpacking so I feel like we should go with people that have done it before. Yeah, I don't really think I know what I'm getting myself into, but it sounds fun. And I'm ready to do something adventurous probably once Augie turns one. Yeah, that's cool.
Starting point is 00:45:14 Because now I just want to chill by the pool because I never get to do that. I get that. I totally get that. It's the Mother's Day, I got to do that. Yeah. That was nice. I totally get that. It's Mother's Day, I got to do that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:23 That was nice. So yeah, I mean, backpacking, I really don't know how to do that, if I'm being honest, but I know I want to do that. Okay. Because I think it would just be such a cool experience to sleep with, you know, the crickets chirping around you, you know, cicadas in the air. For me, it's not about sleeping outside. That's the worst part of it for me.
Starting point is 00:45:46 The good part for me is the feeling of I hiked this distance and I got to see this whole journey. Like, you have to see all the sights along the journey. And then I, yeah, but I'm not excited about the sleeping thing. I just love being in nature because it just- We don't even have plans to do this. It just makes you appreciate our Earth and how beautiful it is. And I love,
Starting point is 00:46:07 okay, something about me, I love stars. Like you get out underneath the stars at night in a place that doesn't have light pollution or, you know, pollution of some sort in the air and you can see the sky just glow with stars and it is breathtaking. I love doing that. And so I can just envision us backpacking with all the stars overhead and just, yeah, taking it all in. Are you a big fan of the stars? No, I don't really care about the stars. You don't really care about the stars?
Starting point is 00:46:35 Why not? I mean, I think they're pretty, but I don't really think about them like you do. Why do you not think about them? Like, isn't it kind of cool that they're thousands of light years away and we can see them? I just don't think about it like that. Do you have any desire to go to the moon? No. Really?
Starting point is 00:46:52 Matt, are you surprised? Wouldn't that be so fun to do like a double backflip on the moon? Because there's like not very much gravity there. You know, Elon Musk is like making that a thing, right? Like one day we will be able to go into space. People are already going into space. Richard Branson, he's a billionaire who owns like a bunch of companies. He went into space recently, like last year. He just went up there, just to say he did. That's good for him.
Starting point is 00:47:15 Would you ever do that? No. Why not? I don't want to. There's literally no reason I would ever want to do that. Like you could tell people, I went to freaking space. How long does it take? I think it's pretty quick.
Starting point is 00:47:25 Like if you're just going up and I think you go just up and down. Dude, I get car sick driving to Van Buren, Missouri. You think I can get an aerospace ship to the moon? That's that's fair. Yeah, that's fair. I think you I don't think I'm cut out for that. You bring up the car sickness thing. I think you would hate space.
Starting point is 00:47:44 Like I think it would hate space. Yeah. Like, I think you would, you'd probably start throwing up all over yourself. I have vertigo here on earth. You would get vertigo times 10 with zero gravity. I just think that sounds horrible. And plus, like, I'm gonna be away from my family and I'm gonna be really, really far away. You go to the doctor way too much to go up into space.
Starting point is 00:47:59 Like, I feel like you're going to the doctor every other week, you know? I haven't gone since I got an IUD except for today because I have vertigo. Like I realize with all the medical bills- I literally haven't been to the doctor in over six months. Wait, really? Yes. Oh, I would have thought you went more recently than that. Are you sure about that?
Starting point is 00:48:16 I feel like you go to the doctor way more than that. I did go when I had strep. Yes, that's right. So I've been once in six months because I had strep throat. Crazy. And you went to the doctor then too. I did because you got once in six months because I had strep throat. Crazy. And you went to the doctor then too. I did because you got me sick. But it wasn't strep.
Starting point is 00:48:29 They misdiagnosed you. They totally did. You went to a really sketchy, like, pop-up doctor though. It's called My Doctor Now. It looked like the outside just looks like someone is peddling something. No, it honestly looks like Napa know-how. The branding, you know what I mean? Yeah, the branding was kind of funky. peddling something. No, it honestly looks like Napa know how.
Starting point is 00:48:47 The branding, you know what I mean? Yeah, the branding was kind of funky. Napa know how. Napa know how. Yeah, that's what it looked like. I was like, yeah, this seems right. I don't know. OK, would you ever ride in a race car? So you wouldn't go in a race car?
Starting point is 00:49:02 I get car sick driving to Vampire, Missouri. Would you ever go in a fighter jet? Why not? Okay. What about, you know, the planes, this is actually really sick and I would love to do this with you. You've skydived. So maybe you do this. Okay. But the plane gets up really high in the air and then they shut off the engines and it just, no, hell no, but it drops and so because you're inside the plane and you're falling at the same rate the plane's falling, it feels like there's zero gravity. So it feels like you're in space, but you're actually not in space. I have no desire to do that.
Starting point is 00:49:36 Okay last question. There is apparently a plane in Vegas called the Mile High Club plane and it's literally a service where you get absolutely no to because it's one thing to join the Mile High Club plane, and it's literally a service where you get- Disgusting no. Okay. Absolutely not. I would say no too, because it's one thing to join the Mile High Club, but if you did it in a plane that was only for- It doesn't even count.
Starting point is 00:49:51 The Mile High Club, that would just be kind of gross if you know that everyone else has been doing it. I mean, that's like also every hotel in the world. That is actually true. But the fact that it's advertised that way makes it more nasty. Okay, why is it weird?
Starting point is 00:50:01 Like sometimes if someone like has sex at their friend's house, but like in the guest bedroom. Are we saying that word on our podcast? I think we can say it's a medical term. So I wanna say we can say it. I don't think it is a medical term. Sex?
Starting point is 00:50:13 That is 1000% a medical term. I think they say intercourse. But why is that weird if it's like, oh man, like if someone stayed over at my house and it's like, okay, that couple definitely did it. Because it's taboo to talk about it. They definitely did intercourse in the guest bedroom. But when you say at a hotel, it's not weird that there's probably been thousands of people
Starting point is 00:50:31 that have done intercourse in the bed you're sleeping in. Because you don't know those people. No, but it's infinitely more weird because like they've been in the room. Like their germs might be still in there some way somehow because they're not cleaning the comforter. You know the comforter on the hotel bed? They don't clean that every time. You're joking. I'm not joking.
Starting point is 00:50:48 They clean the sheets and the pillowcases. But the comforter, they don't clean that every time. Heck no. I think they do. I don't think they do, babe. They lay something on top of it, Shirley, and wash that. Airbnb is for sure they're not cleaning the comforter every time.
Starting point is 00:51:00 I don't want to think about that. For a fact. I don't want to think about that. And there's been like 1,000 people that have done the intercourse on that bed. Hmm. Yeah. Well, watch me never stay in a hotel again.
Starting point is 00:51:10 Just kidding. I don't know if that's possible. That doesn't really bother me. We could always get- I mean, it's nasty, but it's like, it's not going to stop me from staying in a hotel. We could always get- RVs are a thing. We could do an RV. I think I'm- No, I really don't care.
Starting point is 00:51:18 Like, I go in a- I walk into a hotel, I'm like, yeah, that probably happened here, but- Yeah. Now I'm here, so that probably happened here. But yeah now I'm here So now it's my space. Didn't you say that your family heard people doing it while they were in the hotel room and it was so loud Yeah, well, it wasn't me. I wasn't there. Oh, you weren't there. It was my dad my grandpa my brother What would you do in that situation? There's so many factors What time is it? How loud is it? How long has it been going on for?
Starting point is 00:51:46 If it's something that's like completely ridiculous, I would call the front desk and have them do a noise complaint. Thank you to Rocket Money for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. It's so easy to kind of lose track of where our money's going nowadays. With how many subscription services are out there,
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Starting point is 00:53:11 by going to rocketmoney.com slash unplanned. That's rocketmoney.com slash unplanned. Rocketmoney.com slash unplanned. Back to the episode. Our neighbors in Hawaii disclosed to us that they could hear us after we left. Why are we always talking about this subject? I don't know how this got brought up. It wasn't me. You brought up the mile high club plane. Oh yeah, because we were talking about going to space. That's how we got here. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:53:34 space always leads to that topic of fornication. I seriously think space would be so cool though to go visit. How do you feel about forcing kids to eat vegetables? to go visit. How do you feel about forcing kids to eat vegetables? What? That was random. I am all for that. And actually, I don't even have to force Griffin to eat his vegetables,
Starting point is 00:53:53 because I'll eat vegetables next to him. And then he thinks it's cool. Because he's like, oh, I want to be like dad and eat peas. Exactly. I don't think you can, I think- That's the way to do it. You can't force him. I don't think you should force him to eat it.
Starting point is 00:54:04 You can't force them to eat anything. You gotta just- But you can, I think. That's the way to do it. You can't force them. I don't think you should force them to eat it. You can't force them to eat anything. You gotta just. But you can model it. Yes. And you can talk about the advantages of vegetables. And that is why I don't think you should get drunk in front of your kids because if you're modeling getting drunk, your kids are going to get drunk.
Starting point is 00:54:17 Yes. Period. Yes. So no, I don't think you should force your kids to eat vegetables. I think you should always offer it, put it on their plate. Like, you know how little kids' plates have like sections? I would always put a vegetable on there and then they can watch me eat vegetables and then they want to eat vegetables.
Starting point is 00:54:33 And you could also talk about how they're good for their bodies and how they're going to, you know, they're rich in fiber, which our body needs. Yeah. And to poo poo. You know what was crazy? Yesterday I was eating a big bowl of peas like I usually do. I'm a big fan of peas. They're my favorite vegetable.
Starting point is 00:54:47 One bag of frozen peas, people, has like 20 grams of protein. It's insane. That's why they make pea protein out of peas. I don't actually drink that. Yeah, but Matt, think about it. You could either eat a whole bag of peas or you could eat like one scoop of protein powder. But the pea protein is nasty and I love the taste of peas, hate the taste of pea protein. It's're two different things. I don't love the taste of pea. So that's why I'm out on that Oh, yeah, that's that's right. You don't like peas, but Griffin wanted to eat the peas and
Starting point is 00:55:13 He ate a ton of peas But he left a few on his plate outside because we were outside while this happened The whole pea situation was an outside ordeal and guess what? I went back to get the plate of peas a couple hours later. It's so freaking dry here in Arizona. Yeah, they shriveled up. They looked like raisins because the moisture just went away. Is that crazy? Is that not insane though? I believe it. I feel like that's what happens to me when I step outside. When I wake up in the morning here, because I didn't drink water while I was sleeping, I always feel so dry in the morning.
Starting point is 00:55:47 Yeah, I need coffee. Yeah. Coffee actually dehydrates you. I love some good old coffee. How do you feel about letting kids have dessert every night after dinner? Okay, is this dress turning into a Q&A? Like what's going on right here?
Starting point is 00:55:58 I'm just quizzing you on parenting things. Okay, dessert, I'm okay with that. I just think we gotta be careful. Every night. Every single night. Yeah, every night after dinner. I think every night dessert is okay as long as the portion size is controlled. I agree!
Starting point is 00:56:15 That's a great answer. High five. I'm glad that we agree on that one. How do you feel about allowing kids to pick their own outfits even if they are like crazy? I'm for that. I think that's good. I think it's sweet. I think it's sweet. I love it too.
Starting point is 00:56:26 Like when you see a little kid in like an Iron Man costume just at the grocery store, I think it's adorable. But I do have caveats this one. Like if we were at going to a wedding or something where it could be distracting to like, it's like, it's not about you, Iron Man. You don't want to show up in your Iron Man costume to your grandpa's funeral, you know?
Starting point is 00:56:42 Yeah, we have to think about setting. And it's, that's the way like extreme circumstances. Like if it's school, you have to abide by the dress code. But if you're going to the grocery store, going to a play day or the park, wear whatever the heck you want. Yeah. That's how I feel. That's good stuff.
Starting point is 00:56:56 Occasionally skipping a hygiene routine. Ooh. Like no baths, no brush teeth. Yeah, we do that all the time. We don't do it all the time. But if there's, if we've had like a crazy day and it's like, alright, we're gonna skip bath time tonight. Like, that happens. Well, we don't do a bath every night if it's been a crazy day.
Starting point is 00:57:12 Okay, I would say we do bath like five or six times a week though. But we will skip it if it's like, it's already past the bedtime and like they didn't get super dirty. But yeah, so I'm like, okay, it's okay to every once in a while do that, but I definitely wouldn't want to make a habit of it. It's gross. They get so dirty. It's important. Especially when they're just outside and they're flip flops.
Starting point is 00:57:36 What I think at all times is the fact that they poop their pants every day. I'm like, they need a bath. If I pooped my pants during the day, I would be taking a shower before I go to bed. I am looking forward to when we potty train our kids so that we don't have to keep wiping their poopy butts. I say, I don't mind. The sten day, I would be taking a shower. I am looking forward to when we potty train our kids so that we don't have to keep wiping their poopy butts. I don't mind.
Starting point is 00:57:47 I don't mind. The stench is insane though. Yeah, but also diapers just don't really get to me anymore. I'm not fazed by poop. I'm not fazed by vomit. I'm not fazed by snot or buggers. It was fine. Like Griff used to have these like really solid turds. to me those were no problem Like I couldn't smell it the diarrhea ones are the ones that get me. I'm like this is Unbelievable that this little amount of poop can overtake my nose It's also satisfying for me though. Like once I clean it a really bad diaper. I'm like you must feel so much better Yeah, and I feel satisfied. That's awesome
Starting point is 00:58:23 How do you feel about lying to kids? Oh, like about Santa Claus and stuff. Yeah. And I feel satisfied. That's awesome. How do you feel about lying to kids? Oh, like about Santa Claus and stuff? Yeah. I think white lies are okay. Yeah, I feel like this one I'm up in the air on. Like I've heard of people, they'll lie to their kids about past relationships or if they had a past marriage. Some people will completely conceal that stuff from their children. Maybe age is a big important thing in this one. That's true. Little kids. Yeah, I guess there's probably circumstances where it's okay. What do you think? This is actually kind of funny. I heard there's a celebrity that
Starting point is 00:58:56 their husband drinks non-alcoholic beer because he used to be an alcoholic and he quit. And their daughter wanted to drink non-alcoholic beer and they let her because it's it's non-alcoholic. It's fine. Like you can, anybody can drink that. It doesn't matter if you're, you know, five or fifty. But it tastes like beer. It tastes like beer but it's not alcoholic beer. And so now their daughter drinks non-alcoholic beer. What do you think about that? I don't know why. Like I can't give you a reason why but it feels wrong.
Starting point is 00:59:22 It feels wrong? It feels wrong but I guess it's not. So if Griffin wanted to drink non-alcoholic beer would you let him? At what age? Let's say he's eight years old and wants to drink non-alcoholic beer. I would say no. Really? I would totally let him.
Starting point is 00:59:36 Like a sip sure. No I would. Honey if it's non-alcoholic that's that'd be fine. But don't you think you could be developing a taste for it like a palate like you like what you do with coffee? Like the more you drink it, the more you like it. True. But couldn't you just still drink that non-alcoholic type? Like you don't have to drink alcoholic beer. It seems like it.
Starting point is 00:59:54 Right. It feels wrong. That's like saying I don't want to get hooked on energy drinks, which taste sweet. So I'm not going to drink another sweet drink. You know, I mean, like you can still have a sweet drink that isn't an energy drink. I would just think of all the beverages in the world. And I'm like, you're going to drink another sweet drink. You know what I mean? Like you can still have a sweet drink that isn't an energy drink. I would just think of all the beverages in the world and I'm like, you're going to choose that. That's coming from the lady that's given her a kid coffee, though.
Starting point is 01:00:11 Hey, this is sip. He loves it. I'm just kidding. It is so funny. He is obsessed with coffee. I don't. I don't understand. Like, he just loves to watch us make it. I think the process interests him.
Starting point is 01:00:24 He likes to press all the buttons on the machine. He's very fascinated by the process of coffee. But something, even if it's caffeine free coffee, I feel like it's fine to give your kid. See, but why does even that feel wrong? You mean decaf coffee, not caffeine free coffee? Oh, yeah, decaf. Sorry, that's a word, decaf.
Starting point is 01:00:42 But see, like, yes, we've done that. But then didn't it feel wrong? Kind of. So it's the same thing. He's also one. He's freaking one though. Like, come on. So age does play a factor.
Starting point is 01:00:51 Okay, because he's one. Like, he's a one-year-old. I don't know. You asked my opinion. I gave it to you. If you don't like it, then. All right. Okay.
Starting point is 01:00:59 How do you feel about leashes on children? What? So what are these questions? Okay. Leashes on children. I actually So what are these questions? Okay, um, leashes on children. I actually used to be a leash kid. My brother was a leash kid. Are you traumatized from that? Your brother? At Disney World. You're both on leashes at Disney World. Honestly, kind of a smart little plan. You know, if you have a ADHD child, safety, leash that kid up. Safety. Yeah. I think you should teach them to stay with you. But in circumstances where you're like, well, we don't have time to teach you. We are in a crowded space where
Starting point is 01:01:29 you're going to be tempted to walk off multiple times. Yeah. And there's strangers everywhere. So we're going to put you on a leash. I feel like there's something wrong with that. Yeah. I think we should normalize leashing your kids because it's for their safety. Yeah. Well thank you guys for watching the unplanned podcast we are so happy that you were here Abby needs to go because she's having some crazy vertigo right now whatever that means she could be just making it up I believe you I believe you I'm just kidding I'm kidding but yeah I can you get medicine for that yes you can well it depends on what the cause they have to figure out what the cause of my vertigo
Starting point is 01:02:05 is. Oh, so they know that it's vertigo, but they now need to figure out what's causing it. They're waiting for the blood test to come back. If my levels are all normal, then they're going to, I have to, and I still have these symptoms, then I have to go to a neuro doctor. Okay. Wow. Where they can study my inner ears.
Starting point is 01:02:19 Man, that all just gave me a headache and I think I need to go take an excedrin. I am not that person. I'm just kidding.

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