The Viall Files - E509 Going Deeper with Katie Maloney - Divorce, Wearing The Pants, & Finding New Love
Episode Date: December 1, 2022Welcome back to another episode of The Viall Files, Going Deeper Edition! Today we are joined by Vanderpump Rules star and artist, Katie Maloney, as we dig deep into the latest in her world, as well a...s the hottest pop culture topics. We start things off by getting into Katie’s divorce, navigating the holidays while single, feeling like you have to wear both the pants and dress in a relationship, wanting more alpha energy from a partner, and how the most exciting partner isn’t always the best one. We then bring up the Raquel of it all, which castmates act the most different off-camera, how being sarcastic on reality TV can be a bad idea, and the worst argument taken out of context. We also debate Black Friday versus Cyber Monday, why Costco is awesome, if Katie would get married again, and the best ways to heal from a divorce. We then dive into some pop culture topics. We get into talking about your partner’s manhood on the internet, the latest updates from Pete Davidson and Emrata, PR relationships, grand gestures not serving as commitment, and Kendall Jenner and Devin Booker breaking up. We then welcome our Texting Office Hour caller, who doesn’t want her best friend to bring her boyfriend when she comes to visit our caller later this year. With the boyfriend making a mess last time, our caller wonders how to set boundaries and put her foot down, without making anyone too upset. “Someone was missing and it was hard to ignore.” If you are interested in running a book club in your city, send an email to: DTYEHBBookClub@gmail.com Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to asknick@kastmedia.com to be a part of our Monday episodes. If you would like to get some advice on Office Hours send an email to asknick@kastmedia.com with “Office Hours” in the subject line! Be sure to check out my sports radio show Fandemonium, Wednesdays @ 3PT / 6 ET on Amazon's Amp app. Click the link to download Amp using my code NICKVIALL https://apps.apple.com/us/app/amp-host-live-radio-shows/id1586403838 To Order Nick’s Book Go To: http://www.viallfiles.com Support a Local Bookstore: https://bookshop.org/books/don-t-text-your-ex-happy-birthday-and-other-advice-on-love-sex-and-dating-9798212185622/9781419755491 THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Manscaped: Save 20% off and free shipping by going to http://www.manscaped.com/viall. Manscaped, for a perfect gift that will be the holiday’s biggest hit. Total Wireless: Total by Verizon is available at http://www.TotalByVerizon.com and at retailers nationwide. Quip: Trust me, you’ve got to try it. Go to http://www.GetQuip.com/VIALL, RIGHT NOW, for your first refill FREE. Plus, shop quip’s lowest prices of the year this holiday season! Episode Socials: @viallfiles @nickviall @musickillskate See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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What's going on, everybody?
Welcome back to another episode of The Vile Files.
I'm your host, Nick, joined by Allie and Amanda.
Hope you're all having a great day today.
What's going on?
We were so ready for you to be like,
ladies, how are you doing?
And we both grabbed our mics and then we kept going.
We were like, okay.
Something new.
I had a hey yo coming out of my mouth.
I had to bring that back.
Hey.
Did you all?
Hey yo.
I know we didn't get into this last episode on the Victoria and Greg episode.
If you haven't listened to, obviously go back.
Bombshell.
This bombshell.
But how was your Thanksgiving?
Amanda? Mine was good. I went to, to i joined nick and his he has some family who live in malibu so i they're
really lovely i've met most of them before like the aunt and uncle and cousins and i got to meet
his grandma for the first time and she was like oh she was great i i love a grandma who doesn't
honestly but she was like really. I can do without them.
I'm just kidding.
Nothing could get you canceled faster than being anti-grandma.
Like that is like the worst.
But she would just say stuff like, she was like, well, we can make a ham and bean soup with the leftover.
Like she was just.
God bless her.
Grandma's love a leftover.
Oh my God, they do.
They love a leftover.
It was a lovely low-key Thanksgiving.
How was yours?
I went to Denver.
My sister had to work.
And so my family said, never fear, we'll come to you.
And we always do our holidays with our best, best family friends that we grew up with.
So they're basically family.
And they said, what?
We're going to Denver.
We purchased a VRBO right next to your VRBO so we all just
showed up and my sister it like meant a lot to my sister which was cute yeah she was on call until
like five or six p.m. I think it was on Thanksgiving we all chanted as soon as she got the notification
that she was off the clock we all chanted shot shot shot and made a good shot which was really
funny if you know my sister because that's not her at all but fun was had well that's good nick how was your thanksgiving it was fun lovely we
went to i already we already mentioned we were in alabama and then we went to savannah georgia
uh where natalie's dad's side of the family it's a it's a big thanksgiving is a big, big deal. So that was nice. I observed a couple situations that I,
well, one was this like,
I saw a Karen mom situation before my eyes.
Oh, yes.
Tell me about it.
A close encounter.
Yeah.
We were, so Natalie and I have recently,
do you say pre-check? I knew you were, so Natalie and I have recently TSA pre-check.
I knew you were, I was like, he's either going to say we're flying first class or.
No, we were TSA. And which by the way, like, no, I'm not even a six. I don't want, it's,
it's, I think if people are figuring out it's relative, it's like not that hard to get. I don't think it's.
I, I've been, I'm being ghosted by TSA pre-Check. I submitted an application months ago.
Really?
Yeah.
We recently, a couple months ago, TSA PreCheck.
It's a delight.
It really makes the traveling experience.
Do you have Clear as well?
Don't have Clear yet.
The combo is, is that global entry?
No, no, no, no.
Different.
I don't know.
Anyways, so we just only have TSA PreCheck.
I'm also reading this book called Sapiens.
Really interesting.
Anyways, so we just only have TSA PreCheck.
I'm also reading this book called Sapiens.
Really interesting.
But one thing, I only brought that up because there's this part in the book anywhere where they talk about how luxuries quickly become necessities in our lives. And we often don't appreciate them.
And then those luxuries, you know.
Anyway, so TSA PreCheck luxury, right?
Nice to have.
And things about TSA PreCheck is you don't have to take your shoes off. you don't have to take your laptop out, and it's just a metal detector. It's not one of those things where you have to get scanned, right? But every once in a while, like, I don't know, they have different rules at different places.
it was this lady and her like teenage son and their teenage son it would seem like the sweetest boys like his voice was like it was just a sweet boy it was just a sweet boy and i noticed because
like they asked this woman to take her shoes off which i understand like hey you get tsa pre-check
you're just like i don't have to do this and for whatever reason they asked this lady to take her
shoes off like i think natalie got like flagged and it was like oh we randomly you have to do the
she got she had to get scanned because like every once in a while.
And this lady just started like taking out her frustrations
out on her son, just started yelling at him
right in front of us.
And he was like, no, like, she's like,
why are you being such a jerk?
Like, I was like, oh, I hated this woman, like hated her.
And I know nothing about them but like
and I thought to myself who knows maybe
maybe this kid is this little fucker
I don't know maybe this mom
is at her wits end with her kid
but the kid was literally like pleading
with her mom
like please don't yell at me like
I was just trying to help cause and literally
what was happening
and he was like he was being the adult.
He was like, no, it's okay, Mom.
Just take off your shoes and it'll be fine.
And she was getting all frustrated.
And then she got defensive as if he was calling her out.
When her kid was just whispering to her mom.
And she was yelling at him, like, stop it.
You're just being a jerk.
He's like, I'm not.
I'm sorry.
And there's a couple more instances where she just kept yelling at him.
And he was just, while his mom was yelling at him, he's trying to calm her mom down while simultaneously apologizing to him.
And I just loathed this woman.
And so as I went through the metal detector and I put on my shoes, I just walked up to him.
I pat him on the shoulder and I said, I think you're pretty great.
And I looked right at his mom and just walked away i like i wanted to do more you know but like
i just like it's not really my place but like i just like stop fucking taking it you know she
it made me feel like maybe she just had a bad beat with her her father you know maybe i don't know
family for family maybe maybe her son's father i don't know
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you know like yeah it just like don't do that to your fucking kids like be fucking nice you know
like you're i'm sorry if your husband or your partner or who other people in
your life are shitty to you don't fucking take it out on other people let alone your fucking kids
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shocked him and i actually just kind of walked away because i wasn't trying to start something and i wasn't trying to put her like but i just couldn't help myself i just
pat him on the shoulder and i said i just think you're pretty great because he just wouldn't stop
fucking yelling at him i don't know anyways that's really i think that's so sweet uh like i think
that's such a good response because it's like not trying to like because obviously if you start a
fight then like he suffers more because i don't want to yell i don't want to yell at her but don't
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Then another story.
Natalie has a friend.
She was back home, got to see a lot of friends.
And she used to bartend way back in the day.
And so we were running into some bars.
She knew some people working there.
And then her friend just had a baby not too long ago.
And, you know, her friend, sweet person,
but it's the type of friend who just,
I don't know if she just makes good decisions for herself, but she doesn't stand up for herself a lot.
I don't know.
But, like, sweet, sweet gal.
And I know I've met her friend, but she just had a baby.
And, like, I'm meeting a lot of people who are coming up.
It's like, oh, hey, this is my boyfriend, Nick, or whatever.
And then this guy comes up, and Natalie's talking to him.
And Natalie was telling me, oh this is so and so
like you know this is father and I'm like oh like really nice to meet you it seemed like they were
having a nice conversation and I was like all right great and and I wasn't really paying attention to
their conversation I was like some game was on I was watching that so after he left Natalie told
me how the mom she's homesick with the baby. And like a baby's like three,
like less than six months old. Oh, like infant. Infant. And she's sick and he's out at the bars
with his buddies. It's like 10 o'clock. And I was like, what, really? And she's like, yeah.
And there wasn't, it wasn't like some event, some party, like there, it wasn't, nothing's
going on.
He's just like standing there and like just chilling with his buddies.
And I guess like Natalie made a comment, like you should, you should probably go home.
And then she was texting her friend and she found out, she's like, yeah, like I begged
him not to go, but he went out anyways and blah blah blah
then natalie got really pissed off and so then we decided to leave and i said she's like what
should i say to him i go just walk up to him and say be a better father go home and so she walked
up to him and he was around all his buddies and And she, like, very kind of mama lying energy.
Yeah, don't fuck with Natalie.
Yeah.
Put his hand on her shoulder and said, be a better father.
Go home.
And you could tell he got, like, all just embarrassed and, like, thanks.
And, like, you could tell, like, he got called out and whatever.
But I was just like, if you're dating someone, I mean, forget about having a kid.
But wouldn't you say, like, if you're dating someone, I mean, forget about having a kid, but wouldn't you say if you're
dating someone and you're sick, if they don't at least offer to stay home and help take
care of you?
I get if you don't want to get sick or whatever, but you know what I'm saying?
It's 10 times worse when there's a baby involved, though, because it's one thing to be sick
yourself.
It's always emotional and hard.
But then to have to take care of an infant on top of that,
we can't even take the baby out of the equation because it makes it that much worse.
But don't you think you should at least like
offer if your partner's sick to like,
what can you do for them?
You better have a really,
something that is incredibly important.
Like if you have some event that is unmissable, if you have some commitment, some work thing, like it better be something that is incredibly important like if you have some event that is unmissable if you have some commitment some work thing like it better be something that is
so essential in my book if you're not going to stay home and take care of them because i think
that's one of the most like amazing times to show up for your partner is when they're not feeling
well and you like play nurse and just like do whatever you can to like keep them company like
i think that's advocate though you said it was 10 p.m do we know
if they were just both like already asleep no she was up okay never mind yeah i take back my comment
yeah and she'd said don't go out in the first place right she had begged him she'd begged him
not to go out begged him not to go out yeah and it made me wonder and i was and the reason i brought
this up because i'm curious how many people out there deal with stuff like this yeah Or have friends who deal with stuff like this.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know what there is to do.
But I guess for the people who aren't yet married or don't have a kid with someone,
if you're looking for red flags, be mindful of how caring they are when you're busy or not feeling well or need some help?
Do they make you a priority when you aren't at your best self?
Or do they make you feel like a burden?
Yeah.
And are they willing to set aside their own individual desires
and make you feel like a priority and make some sacrifices for you?
Again, there's a balance to everything. We're not saying like, you know, if you have a big event going on
or whatever, but like, do you feel like when you're down, whether it's sick or stressed,
do they go out of your way to help you out? Because if they can't do that in a, like just
a basic relationship with, without kids or or responsibility they're not going to do
that in a marriage or with children yeah and uh anyways i'm also just curious how many how many
people out there deal with something like this where their partner just completely is not there
because there's a reason it's in the marriage vows in sickness and in health they're not married
but i think in general like it speaks to like marriage is like a way that we societally like we say we legitimize
relationships and like kind of uphold them to the highest degree and like i think it's so significant
that a part of that is saying like if you want this relationship to be like a centerpiece lifelong
good thing part of that is the ebbs and flows and if you have and if you have brothers or guy
friends out there who who are pulling this bullshit like call them out call them out
that's yeah call your brother that's what i'm gonna do i think he would stay home i'm pretty
sure at least offer everyone call your brother and make sure he's doing you know at least take
care of your part at least offer be willing to take care of your partner and whatever reasonable expectation that is when they need your help.
Yeah.
And don't prioritize your own selfish needs.
I don't know.
It floored me.
It just absolutely floored me.
Like, I don't know.
I'm not trying to like be like I'm the greatest boyfriend of all time.
But like, like, don't you want to be there for your your kid and the mom and like you you
couldn't like you're standing there at a fucking bar maybe it's triggering for me because i used
to as a young man like as a teenager when i fantasized about love i had this fantasy about
like i had this faceless person in my imagination of like, you know, someone I would love.
And this fantasy I had was I had this big night out with the guys and she got sick.
And instead of going out with the guys, like I come and take care of her and like make her super some bullshit.
I don't fucking know.
That's what teenage Nick was thinking about?
That was teenage Nick was thinking about.
That is so gender.
Oh my God.
And then she would get me sick and then she took care of me and we took care of
each other.
Like that was my teenage fantasy of like,
what is the type of relationship I wanted?
I probably got it from my parents,
but like,
so this idea that like these,
this,
this guy would have a child,
you know,
like,
you know,
if Jeff,
you know,
like I,
I just,
I,
I really like taking care of the people I love, you know, like I just, I do. And so it just, I do not understand this type of deadbeat mentality of, of not wanting to like, just be there for like, what, even to your buddies, you seem like such a loser.
seem like such a loser i don't think most guys are like oh yeah this is i feel like a lot of guys in the situation kind of like yeah man you should probably get home like there's always like one
deadbeat or two in like every group and it's just like even your friends think you're a piece of
shit i feel like i don't know anyways i'm just curious if there's more people dealing with stuff
like this and oh there are like the amount of people i know in relationships whether it's dating or married or somewhere in between and it's just it baffles me how low the bar is
or like how they are being treated because these are girls that i very very much care about
and the shit that their boyfriends or husbands are pulling it's wild yeah yeah i don't i just
don't know what the like other side of that story is.
Wait, very quickly.
Just follow up.
Meatball Gate last year.
Oh, meatball.
It's a one-year anniversary of Meatball Gate.
There were no meatballs.
I didn't make meatballs.
Yeah, I ate.
Did you try?
I had some turkey.
The sides, though?
No.
Fuck no. You didn't have a single side?
No.
Fuck that.
Her cousin's fiance, who we stayed in hawaii with and she
yeah i don't like she she was asking me about it i'm like i fucking loathe thanksgiving meal
i do and i'm not gonna apologize for it hate me all you want that's that's my cross to bear. Mashed potatoes. No, yeah, mashed potatoes.
No, I don't think we should be made to eat things we don't enjoy.
I hear that.
I don't.
I just don't.
And if grandma wants to hate me.
We are so different in this moment.
I can't relate to you less. I am not going to hate me different in this moment i can't relate
to you less i am not gonna put food in my mouth that i have to gag down just because you're being
so dramatic i don't enjoy it okay i don't enjoy certain foods i fucking hate thanksgiving meal
it's the dumbest fucking thing okay my dad makes an insane cranberry sauce it is so good it's not
too sweet there's some pears in it and like it is there's nothing like it no i'm disgusted i i do
you like cranberry sauce no and like it's people have this turkey and he's like stuffing stuffing
is wet bread it's wet bread it's like warmed up with some like herbs slide it down my
throat and they have and it's like it's a plate of like i'm it's just a plate of like uh i like
it repulses me anyway i had some turkey uh it was fine but uh no one really paid attention to it as
long as i had no meatballs that that is that is my shortcoming. That is my flaw.
That is, you know, I'm...
You're the food deadbeat of your friend group.
I'm the food deadbeat.
I'm the picky eater who doesn't want to try, you know,
Aunt Deb's whatever creation she fucked with.
I don't give a shit.
Next grandma made like an oyster casserole of some sort.
Disgusting.
And you know I put that stuff...
It wasn't...
It wasn't good? No, no. That's not what I know I put that stuff. It wasn't. It wasn't good.
No, no.
That's not what I was going to say.
It wasn't bad.
It wasn't bad.
I don't want,
food is such an enjoyable experience for me.
I do not want to ruin that
by trying something that I don't enjoy.
Why put something in my body
that I have to deal with?
I'm on an island here.
I understand like everyone thinks I'm an asshole,
but like it's,
I didn't want to. I can't an island here. I understand like everyone thinks I'm an asshole, but like it's, I didn't want to.
I can't wait for when you like host a big Thanksgiving
for the first time and everyone shows up and it's just like
meatballs, tacos,
Jones on third. I do think that could
be, that could be so fun for you. Like when you
are hosting your own like Thanksgivings,
maybe you have some kids in the picture, like having
your own traditional Thanksgiving meal
and then your kids are going to be like little weirdos
who are like, you guys don't have meatball subs on Thanksgiving?
What are you eating?
Little weirdos because we don't have stuffing or cranberry sauce.
I do think that would be a very cute family tradition
to like have your own Thanksgiving food
that you like in lieu of the classics.
Steaks, barbecue, I don't know.
Pizza.
Yum.
Oh, I would do pizza.
Yeah.
Why do we have to?
I'll die on this hill.
I don't care.
I'm an asshole.
Anyways, her family was lovely.
I'm sure they're talking shit about me,
about Thanksgiving food,
but it's not for me.
It is not for me.
Anyway, we have a great episode for you.
Katie Maloney is with us.
We talk about divorce
and all the ups and downs of that.
Some Vanderpump gossip tea,
all that season 10 drama.
We have a great texting office hour.
If you haven't checked out
Greg and Victoria's episode,
go and check that out.
Also, be sure to check out our Ask Nick's.
Send in those questions.
If you have, if you know of a friend, if you know of some deadbeats in your life, we'd
love to hear those stories.
Send those in.
All things Texting Office Hours, all things Ask Nick.
Send in those questions at AskNickAtCastMe.com.
Don't forget to check out Don't Text Your Ex Happy Birthday
if you are going through a relationship
struggle, if you're not sure if you either
want to move in with your partner, if you're not sure
if you should stay or go in a relationship, if you're
stuck in a situation ship, all of those are covered
in the book. Go to Viathals.com
check it out. There's an audio book, all that fun stuff.
Serena Kerrigan is our guest next week on
Going Deeper. I know a lot of you
are fans of her. She has a die hard fan base
She loves talking relationships and dating
She's a delight to talk to
A lot of fun
She's with us next week on Going Deeper
And Freestyle next week
I don't know, maybe Justin
Maybe we might have Justin, I think
Possibly, I don't know
Or we'll just be gossiping about shit.
Our favorite thing to do.
Yeah. So let's get to Katie.
Well, I plan on eating
a lot of cookies and
treats along the way this
holiday season. That's a tradition I have,
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Katie, how's it going?
Good, how are you?
Good, I'm doing well.
What's that big sigh for?
Oh, it's just been, it's been a week.
It's been a week?
Yeah.
Coming off, how was your holiday?
It was, you know, I've been dreading the holidays
and I knew it was gonna be be rough. So I mean,
I was trying to be optimistic, but, you know, post-divorce in this first year, there's a lot of
firsts that just sting, especially after our first, you know, what would have been our, you know,
sixth wedding anniversary. That like that week was really rough.
We also closed on our house that week. So I knew after that, I was like, I need to brace myself
for the holidays because that is going to be a really strange time because, you know, for 12 years
I celebrated with Tom. He was, you know, my family, he was part of my family he was part of my family and so i just knew it was going to be very
different and i got like all my um christmas decorations out of storage and of course i was
going through like all the ornaments and there was like you know ornaments that were like first
christmas with like a little bride and groom characters and like our you know after we got
our house like that you know christmas ornament and then ornaments with our dogs i said the schwartz is with like our names on it and i was like this
blows so just been trying to unpack those feelings i mean this this year has just been
trying to unpack a lot of complicated feelings and try to just push through and you know process and heal from it but you know every time i get
over one hump i'm met with another mountain what did you do for the for thanksgiving um i went to
my brother and his wife and um their place and my niece obviously is there and her family and my mom
came into town my younger brother and his wife were supposed to come,
but my nephew was sick.
So it was just a small little gathering,
and it was lovely and it was nice,
but obviously someone was missing,
and that was hard to ignore.
How did you deal with that?
I just tried to just have fun, focus on my niece.
We did yoga, and I filmed her on her scooter and we played and we, you know,
I just tried to just kind of like focus and have a good time and, you know, tequila as
well.
Obviously.
Are you guys still in any contact whatsoever?
Yeah, we, we, we have two dogs that we, you know, share custody of.
So that's kind of like our main contact.
When we separated, we were still living together for like five months.
And it was kind of nice to have that time because we were able to sort of untangle, uncouple, you know, during that time and kind of get used to not being together, even though we were together.
But, you know, we lived in separate rooms and it was, you know, it was, it was, but it was nice.
Did you guys date while you were separated?
Like other people?
Yeah.
Not for a minute. I kind of started to slowly like go on a date here. You know, I was,
I was obviously, you know, cause I was the one that initiated it. So I
kind of was a little further along in the process of moving on.
You initiated the divorce?
Yeah.
How did he take that?
Not well, obviously.
Well, sometimes it can be, it's never mutual, but sometimes people,
did he at least acknowledge your frustrations or, you know what I'm saying?
Or was it, did you have to completely explain to him why you weren't happy?
A little bit of both.
A lot of it he didn't agree with or, I mean, and these were things that over the years
I had been frustrated by.
And, you know, when we tried to work through it, I felt like I was stonewalled a bit and
I tried to justify and think like, okay, okay well maybe this is something that we're going to grow out of
or he's going to grow out of or we can grow you know together in I just you know and then I got
to the point where I'm just like I don't I don't think this is ever going to change I don't think
he's ever going to change and you know I know you can't change a person but you're just hoping that
he's ever going to change. And, you know, I know you can't change a person, but you're just hoping that, you know, it was temporary. And when I just kind of... What was the thing that you wanted most
to change? Him to prioritize me. I felt like I came dead last to everyone else in the room,
his friends and strangers. And he's such a charismatic, charming guy. Like everyone loves him.
But when it came to me, I didn't feel like I was seen or heard or supported on an emotional level or intellectual level.
And it was frustrating.
I felt very alone a lot of the time.
yeah was there a specific moment where you feel like you crossed over from having serious doubts about the marriage to saying this can't continue and like i we need to end this i think there was
kind of a moment where i did kind of wake up and things kind of started coming into view the same
things that i had been trying to fix or justify for staying and clinging to the relationship and the marriage because I
loved him so much and I wanted the future with him. But when it's like this voice inside of me
woke up and just said, you don't want this. And you need to be honest with yourself that these
are things that are probably always going to be present forever. And is this what you want for
the rest of your life? Is this
the kind of person that you want to be with? Or do you deserve more? And I tried to deny it and
not listen to that because it was like, maybe, I don't know, maybe I'm going through something,
but it just got louder and I would lose sleep over it. And I just think it just,
it's just that time comes in your life where you just need to
re-examine everything and take you know inventory and take stock and and I you know I wasn't happy
and I hadn't prioritized myself because I was prioritizing someone else as you do in in a
marriage in a relationship because it's not all about you all the time.
But at the expense of myself and my happiness.
So yeah, once I was honest with myself
and I was like, no, I don't want this.
It felt relief.
And that was hard and sad for me.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't know if we've all been there,
but I've certainly been in relationships
where I ended and when I ended it, I didn't feel sad. I felt free. I felt, I felt relief.
It was, it was everything at once. It was, it was pain and sadness and relief.
Yeah. It was a lot at once. Did you guys wish each other a happy Thanksgiving?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you think you will next?
Do you think you will on Christmas?
Like, when does that stop for you?
I don't know because we tried to be friends.
And I wanted, you know, because at the end of the day, like, he was still my best friend.
And I wanted that to remain intact just because our marriage
and the romantic relationship had to end.
I really wanted us to maintain a friendship, and we were.
But there's interferences that start to come in,
and how you handle it is going to reflect on how well that can remain intact.
And I don't think he did a very good job of that.
I tried to say, okay, if we want to be friends,
you got to ask for some boundaries.
But when people don't know what boundaries are,
it's very difficult to have that conversation.
Sure.
It's also, I mean, anything is possible.
There are exceptions to every rule.
I just, I think it's hard enough to try to be friends after any type of relationship
and let alone a marriage or a relationship that lasted 12 years.
I mean, how do you go back to that?
How do you turn off that part of your brain that saw them as,
that saw that other person as like your other half to an extent and then and then be friends it's it's
I don't know I just tried to I wanted to still
honor and and bring some value to the time we spent together and not just walk away it feels
so weird to to have that person in your life who you were planning on spending forever with
and then to have them just become a stranger to you that feels so wrong to me
yeah but it's not wrong though i know but i just it it feels yeah i think the only way you can try
to do that is you honor it by by not trying to dilute it in a like to to be friends because to
be friends would almost suggest that like the fact
that it feels wrong the fact that would be so hard to be friends like shows that you guys cared and
it shows that you guys had something because if it was like no no we're best friends it's like
oh so you think you were friends the whole time maybe you know what i'm saying where there wasn't
really like i'm sure you guys were also best friends.
But in addition to being best friends, you were husband and wife in a serious relationship.
Right.
Where I think sometimes you see couples, you're just like, I think they're just friends.
You know, you see the friendship, but you don't see the romance.
Right.
And I think sometimes while it feels foreign or fucked up or things like that, I think you are in a way
honoring what you had by not trying
or not being able to be friends
because it shows that it was more than
just some sort of like casual acquaintance or friendship.
It's true, yeah.
But when we have dogs that were trying trying to go back and forth with,
and we also work together.
We have mutual friends.
We share friends.
So it's like I thought it would be in our best interest
to really try to work on a friendship with one another to keep things.
Well, yeah, but I think there's having a friendship and being friendly.
Yeah, but.
Are you even able to be friendly at this point?
I'm trying, but I just feel like there's been a lot of disrespect.
I'm sorry.
Is this something that like, have you, for filming season 10, like where was that within
the divorce?
And like, is there anything, how was the idea of this potentially playing out on
Vanderpump influencing the way you were navigating the situation with him I was grateful that we had
put a lot of because we we separated in February and we didn't start filming until July so I was
I was grateful that we had a lot of kind of road behind us. We'd made a lot of progress.
So I felt good about going into the season being like, okay, this isn't, it's not so,
so fresh, but it's, you know, when we went into the season, that's when all those, you
know, interferences began because we, you know, we felt great.
We were laying a foundation for a friendship and we both, you know, we're kind of same
page about a lot of things,
but there was a lot of people that weren't very supportive of that.
Was some of that disrespect that you felt from the whole Raquel of it all?
Oh, God.
I have no loyalty to her.
Yeah, obviously, but there's so much more to that.
Can you elaborate?
Not really. Have you elaborate? Not really.
Have you talked?
Have you and Raquel talked?
No, no.
I mean, we did a lot of talking this past summer.
So yeah, that's why I felt a little disrespected.
Did you and Tom ever talk about that hookup?
Yeah.
What did he say?
I can't really say because I don't want to spoil it yeah yeah i mean just i think i think there's a lot of theories um about what went down and how it went
down and what exactly happened and my you know what people think about me and my thoughts and opinions on it and whether or not I should have any thoughts and opinions on it.
But it's just how it, just how everything kind of played out that just felt really gross to me.
How are you able to handle like people being friends with Raquel and being friends with you I mean be
friends with you don't care I mean as long as it and for me like respect is always you know the
most important thing so if like as long as your friendship with her doesn't really affect our
friendship you know if you're able to still have you know respect for me and and I feel like our
friendship isn't really being impacted by your relationship
with someone and be friends with who you want. So you, well, that's, most people don't have
that quality, that kind of maturity to say. I didn't always have that. I was so, when I was
younger, I was like, if, if you like this person, if you talk to this person, we can't be friends.
And I realized that that's not really how you should move through life. How did you get to that more kind of healthy, mature approach to relationships?
Just by trial and error of it all, by having falling outs with friends, by getting into
fights with people over that very thing.
And I realized if I want to maintain friendships with people who I care about, I have to respect
who they also want to be friends with you know it's just it's the adult thing to do do we still
stand by calling Raquel a fan yeah yeah what what about her is a fan I mean
I that's so I didn't even like think so much about it.
I just thought it was a funny thing to say.
That's funny.
There's nothing wrong with being a fan,
but I just felt like it's a bit much.
Be a supportive friend.
Be a fan of them.
I'm a fan of my friends, and I support my friends,
but it was a little over the top.
What about her wearing a Tom
Tom sweatshirt to BravoCon I mean I understand because they all wore them to Tom's show the
night before so it felt like that was an appropriate venue and time to wear it but
yeah wearing it at BravoCon was a little bit like it was a statement I mean it's yeah I feel like
it was yeah a bit of a statement I mean do you feel like she is trying to like rile rile
you up or get you to react to her i i don't even i don't even know if it's about me i i don't think
it's like directly about trying to like rile me up i think she just it's like she just wants to
prove her you know friendship or it's if it's i don't know it. I think it's just to just kind of just garner any
kind of attention really. Where are you at in your love life? I mean, I'm just
like dating casually. I haven't been wanting to like get into anything serious obviously because
I'm still trying to make myself a priority and make my happiness a priority and I feel like when someone else comes into the picture you know you want to
make them important and and that requires a lot of effort and I don't really have that to give to
a person at the moment so right now you're just focused on you really yeah but I'm still open to
like getting to know people and who knows if if the man of my dreams, if that person walks in tomorrow, I'll know it then.
And obviously, you know, that's something different.
But I just, that's really not in the scope for me.
So the people want to know, I have a question for Manly.
Are you still dating the 25-year-old you were dating in October?
No.
I mean, again, that was a casual thing.
First of all, good for you you know yeah like that that's
something i think that kind of got a little blown out of proportion um no he's sweetest person ever
but um yeah again just sort of like a very casual thing which castmate would you not like
get a sandwich that's something about her oh god if it was up to me it's
hard because you know much like again with the whole being able to be friends with people and
respect that they're friends with people that i don't like ariana is my business partner and she's
obviously friends with people that i am not friends with so unfortunately i may not get my way
but obviously if i didn't have to see people like Raquel,
then yeah.
But unfortunately, it's going to have to be an open door to whoever.
You're just prioritizing being the bigger person.
Is it coming easier for you, or is it emotionally taxing?
It would take more energy, I think, to, to put up those, those walls with people.
So it's, it's easier just to, you know.
What has, I mean, so for all the crap parts about getting divorced and the sadness and the holidays, what has been, for the people listening who are going through breakups, who have left relationships that they weren't happy with, what are some positives that you've been able to experience?
What have been some moments where you feel good about the decision that you made for yourself?
made for yourself? Like, where are some, bring some hope to this picture for the people listening who are starting fresh, who are starting new, who are at similar stages in life,
what have been some positives? Yeah, it's truly not all doom and gloom. I think when you really do
take, you know, that it's terrifying, obviously, to make that kind of step in your life and the bold choice.
But I think being able to really just prioritize your life and take your future into your own hands and make that the priority and make your happiness your priority, it is a blessing, honestly.
I get to do whatever I want whenever I want and it's you know I don't
have to think about anyone else's feelings and how they feel about it and how you know how it's
going to affect them it's it's really just what does Katie want and how it's going to make her
feel and and you know at first I was so scared of you know starting over even though it's not starting over it's just you know rebuilding a little bit off of like you know, at first I was so scared of, you know, starting over, even though it's
not starting over, it's just, you know, rebuilding a little bit off of like, you know, how far
I've come.
But it was still just like, okay, I'm going to have to sell our house and I'm going to
move into like my own apartment.
I'm going to live alone for the first time in over a decade.
And that terrified me and just my whole future was planned out with this person.
And now it's just that's all just out the window.
But now the possibility of just like anything can happen,
and who knows where I'll be, and it's very exciting to me.
So I think just that excitement of what the future could hold and bring,
I'm just embracing that.
When you're thinking about your person, your dream man,
whatever that looks like
to you now, how does that look to you now versus how it looked to you 10 years ago?
Oh my gosh. Yeah. I'm a totally different person than I was 10 years ago. I think now-
What are the qualities you prioritize in a relationship and a partner that you didn't before?
Well, I mean, before it was just like, he needs a job and a car.
You know, those kind of things.
Now, obviously those things would be nice.
No, I want somebody who has kind of grown
through all those self-discovery phases of their life.
They know who they are and where they're going
and what they want to do with their life.
They're not trying to figure things out.
They're not trying to figure out who they are. And somebody who is going to, again,
support me and be my, you know, partner in life, be my teammate, someone who knows how to prioritize
their person, but also is going to still allow for like that individual growth. I like, I'm still a
very like independent person. So I'm never going to be one of those like we people.
So somebody that has,
you know,
kind of their own thing going on,
their own,
you know,
career,
all of that,
but it's going to be very supportive of me still,
you know,
pursuing my dreams.
But it sounds like you didn't feel like you had like a lot of balance in
your last relationship.
No,
I feel like a lot of times I was wearing the pants and the dress and I don't want to do that.
I need a little bit more alpha energy in my next partner, I think.
Okay.
Well, describe that to me.
What do you mean by that?
Someone that's going to be a little more take charge.
Someone that's going to make some plans and want to take a little bit more initiative in the relationship and in you know in our life
together as opposed to i feel like i was the one having to make plans and and whether it would be
for vacation or you know you kind of ran the household so to speak yeah and listen there's
nothing wrong with that or women that do that, but I want somebody that's going to just step into that role
a little bit more seamlessly and more fluid.
Was it more just like Tom or it was just,
I'm just here, I don't know really much about him,
but it sounds, I'm hearing like a version of like,
it sounds like he just, he prioritized fun.
Yeah.
Yeah, he definitely liked having fun and spending
time with his friends and
a lot of times that was so
great. I liked that he had
that sort of outlook on life
and
enthusiasm
for life.
Childlike wonder.
Yeah, a lot of times it was refreshing
but not that
i want someone who's like so so serious but someone who's a little bit more serious that
it's a little more settled it's fun to be dating the fun person the energetic person who's always
out there and and that can be really exciting but when you you spend most of your relationship
alone with each other,
even if you're an outgoing couple,
even if you're a couple that's traveling a lot
or going to parties,
you still spend a lot of time just with each other
and that's kind of the meat of a relationship.
Like how can you guys be alone with each other
and make each other feel like a priority?
Right.
And if you can't have that,
it doesn't matter how
much fun you have no yeah we have we had so much fun we did we went on so many adventures together
we had you know i and i love that and i'll miss those like memories but i'm not gonna miss
you know wondering what time he's gonna to come home and, you know, yeah.
You want to adult a little bit in your relationship.
Yes.
Yeah.
Are you, are kids or is kids something you still want to do or have any interest in?
I mean, it's, it's a little hard sitting where I'm sitting now being, you know,
single and not even having any kind of prospect.
Cause I go back and forth.
Cause it, you know I
obviously like yeah like that would be great but it's not something I want to do alone that's
something I always envision doing with another person going halves on a baby with someone who
I love and want to like build a family with it's also a little scary just with the state of the
world and society that we're in thinking about bringing
life into this world it scares me a bit i'm not saying that i'm always going to feel that way but
i don't know i go back and forth unsure yeah okay all right do we have any other burning uh
vanderpump questions before we get into some of our tea i was just going to ask what your current
relationship is with stassi and kristen like i felt like you guys were kind of a trio now you're the one left
is it awkward awkward in the sense of like they're not on the show yeah no i mean i feel like
sometimes i want to not always bring up the show and talk about the show it was a little hard at
first but it's they've come around
to it i mean we don't all like the three of us hang out like we used to anymore but i still have
relationships with them both like you know stassi is you know still like my girl like my best friend
and i'm godmother to her daughter hartford and so yeah it's just things have changed quite a bit
but no it's not i wouldn't say it's awkward.
Do you feel like it's still a sensitive issue for them?
Or do you think they kind of moved on?
I wouldn't say it's as sensitive anymore.
I think they've moved on.
Do you think there's any chance there could be a reunion in the future with them in the show?
Oh God, I don't know.
I think the show has changed so much and their lives have changed so much, especially Stassi, that who knows? But I don't know if it would make the most sense. And I don't know how they would even feel about it at this point.
you feel like the version that you know one-on-one, no cameras,
that version is most different to what's portrayed on the show.
Like not necessarily negative or positive,
but just like where you feel like there's a really big difference between like what you see on TV and what you kind of experience firsthand.
Oh, God.
Sounds like a great question.
It is a really good question.
I mean, I feel like a lot of people really are their true selves,
you know, on camera and off camera, but I think a lot of them don't realize that.
I will say that. But I do think some people are a little bit more image conscious when we are
filming and they want to maybe like try to like self-produce a little
bit i know i'm not giving names because i don't want to create a war come on i know i know i know
i know but you know i feel like who could how do we frame it in a more positive way like who do
you think maybe gets the most like who do you think you would kind of say... Who's the most authentic people?
Yeah, or who would you say...
Who don't do that?
Totally.
Or, like, who maybe on the show
comes off, like,
maybe gets a bad rap
or you feel like
what you know of them,
you would really go to bat for them
and kind of defend them
in a way that people
who just see the show
might not know that.
Yeah, well, the thing is
with shows like this
and, like, with any kind
of reality show
is, like, it's really hard
to show people in their truest form because we're very, you know, we've got layers.
We're multidimensional.
So you become kind of one note characters or people on a show like this.
You almost get like typecasted.
Like this is the villain.
You get siloed.
Yeah.
Like this is the villain.
This is the bitch. You get siloed.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I think it's a little hard to, you know, for people to sort of separate or, you know,
depart from those kind of like typecasted things.
Like I feel like I've been looked at in certain ways because I could be a very direct person
in the way I approach things.
And sometimes I know that comes off like I'm a bitch or heartless, but I can't help the
way I am
and so I've tried to like correct my tone in my delivery with things but it's it's never gonna
I don't know I think it's never gonna change I know like I feel like Lala has a lot more of a
softer side to her and a lot of her sort of the way she kind of talks and in people it rubs people
the wrong way a lot of the time, but it's all,
that's,
that's such stick stick for her,
even in regular life that it's,
it's all just funny.
But I think a lot of people,
you know,
take it a little too seriously.
So I think she kind of gets a bad rap in a lot of ways.
There's not a lot of room for sarcasm on reality TV.
Or if you are sarcastic,
it's big.
It's very easy to work with as an editor with sarcasm yeah
and because tone is so easily taken away our context is so easily taken away so if you are
if you're a sarcastic person and you choose to be sarcastic in those you it's just like
it's kind of a liability yeah i mean like you have no idea it can go
yeah like don't ever don't ever make a sarcastic comment about someone
someone's dick because that will be taken fully to heart yeah
i don't what did you say tom and i were having an argument one time in the car
and he had this habit of like always kind of blaming me for all the issues and the arguments and the fights.
And we would go through massive dry spells of not having sex for a long time.
And I was kind of getting upset with him.
I'm like, why am I the one that's constantly getting blamed for all of our fights and all of our arguments?
What if I was like, oh, your dick doesn't work and that's why we don't have sex? Everything was kind of chopped up and all of our arguments. Like, what if I like was like, Oh, well your dick doesn't work. And that's why we don't like have sex.
Everything was kind of like chopped up and taken out of context.
So like,
I was like,
well,
let's talk about how your dick doesn't work then.
Like,
you know,
and it was like a kind of a sarcastic,
but like also like I was frustrated and pissed off.
So it was like,
everyone's like,
Oh,
I can't believe you would talk.
And I'm like,
it wasn't,
I wasn't saying like,
he's like ED or something. I was just saying like, what if i was just like he's like ed or something i was
just saying like what if i was just blaming sure it's as it's as ridiculous as him blaming me for
all of our problems me saying that's the reason why we like don't have sex so again can't make
sarcastic comments well that was so julia fox when she was on z-, one of the segments they did was talking about how big Kanye West's penis
was. And I'm curious, like, in terms of what is really like a violation of someone's privacy and
like information that shouldn't be shared versus like, you know, we're all out here, public figures
who are kind of part of the deal is knowing that like a lot of your personal matters are going to be public
like where do you think the line is in terms of like when it's unacceptable to share something
with the world i mean i don't know why any do you think a man would be mad about that i don't know
but um all depends on what you say what did they say about their he has big penis or something yeah
who kanye kanye is that appropriate yeah
that's kind of the question because it's like obviously people would say if you're like being
he has a tiny dick like that's people would be like that's me but like yeah is it it's a compliment
i don't know is it i mean pete davidson's stand-up was pretty funny about this when he talked about
how ariana grande talked about it and i'm paraphrasing but it sounded like he jokingly was like i have a perfectly
nice sized dick and she talked about it as if it was like some sort of like python
and so every girl i hook up with going forward oh no is now disappointed which is it was a really funny joke but to that extent like is is that okay
if to to like talk about like our our partner's anatomies in a public i mean i don't i don't know
like what do we think about that like it is or is it good if they compliment it's like oh well
as long as you say something nice, it's totally fine.
It's like, he had a cute little thing.
He was cute little.
He was adorable.
He was really cute.
No, I don't mean little, but like, you know, cute.
He's just a little guy.
But he was like adorable.
I don't know.
I remember Tom one time,
he was like talking about like his penis,
and he's like, oh, I've got to do it.
And I was just like, why are you talking like this?
It's like, I was kind of trying to like humble him no no but
also like joking with him humbling i'm like uh you're giving yourself a lot of props but just
because he never talks like that first of all and i was just like wondering why he was talking like
that especially when we had cameras pointed at us i was like this is so awkward do you think all
men's voices go deeper
when talking about their own penises or when they're around other men for sure yeah i i don't
know i mean i think i think you draw the line at any kind of like medical information that no
hIPAA violations yeah yeah and i mean yeah anatomy is a little bit of a sore subject i don't want
anyone talking about me like especially an ex too.
Yeah.
Don't go on a podcast and talk about our sex life.
Of course, there's like additional gender dynamics that like, you know, it's not exactly a one for one.
But even if someone was like, she had the best pussy in the world, I'd be like, keep that to yourself.
I'd never tell anyone.
Like, I just don't feel like it's your right to talk about someone else i don't know
be one thing if kanye went on a podcast was like so it is this large and that's even weirder i
think when someone wants to go and talk about their own just like yeah it's a no-win you can't
you can't talk about it yeah i don't know because you're either projecting or you're lying or you're
you know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's pretty sus.
On the topic of Pete Davidson, we have more Pete Davidson, M. Rada sightings in public.
And recently, a source who's close to the couple said in talking about kind of how their budding romance was coming together and what she sees in him, said she finds him charming and funny. He's a passionate guy and plans great dates.
Emily is still taking it slowly. She's
intrigued and flattered. And I feel like that kind of
Such a fake relationship. You think it's
fake? Completely.
You don't? I don't know. Did you not
see those TMZ like videos
of her like walking back and forth and then
Pete Davidson like rolling up in his car
and then him leaving and then him, her like texting
and then calling an Uber.
Like-
Well, maybe they were trying to just like
evade the paparazzi.
I don't-
And no, don't, don't, don't,
no disrespect to both of them.
They seem like lovey people
and like I love a good PR stunt
as much as the next,
but I personally just have a hard time
believing in its authenticity.
It seems like a very convenient-
Well, everyone thought that him and Kim K was PR,
and like, can he not?
It seems like he has a pretty good reputation.
Yeah, I think he just falls hard,
and like quickly,
but that doesn't mean it's not genuine.
I also-
I think this particular relationship is very much staged.
But I wonder if...
Oh, sorry, go ahead.
But why?
Okay, but for what?
For just...
Because we're talking about attention.
Right, but I don't know.
I mean, couldn't he date anyone at this point
and just get attention for dating someone?
Well...
Period?
Yeah, but I feel like it's mutually beneficial.
And why would Pete Davidson not want, like, he just, it's like he's become this guy that
these incredibly, you know, talented, successful, beautiful women like rebound with.
And why would he say no to that?
Like, yeah, sure.
Like, I'll go out to a Knicks game with her.
Great.
We'll say, I plan dates too.
Excellent.
Awesome.
Why would he say no to this?
And maybe they could hook up.
It was so obvious that it just was, I could be wrong.
It just feels a bit like a PR stunt.
I feel like he's been dating these successful, beautiful women before, you know, for some time.
Started with, like, what?
Came back in sale.
Yeah.
Who was after that?
It's become a joke, I feel like, though.
No, but he proposed to Ariana Grande.
That was real.
Oh, that one was real.
But the rest of them are fake?
I don't know which
one i think this one okay for sure okay i i have a hard time believing it i could be wrong you're a
hater maybe yeah i'm a hater you are a total hater do you think kim was real do you think
his relationship with kim was real i don't know he's had he branded her name my girl is a lawyer
yeah maybe it was yeah branded her name i think girl is a lawyer. Yeah, maybe it was. Yeah, branded her name.
I think he definitely was into Kim, for sure.
I think he's into all of them.
Yeah, probably too.
But here's my theory.
Is that because we have-
I think he's totally down.
But I just don't think it's going to go anywhere.
But it feels like there's always the narrative of like,
they're out of his league.
Is kind of like the vibe with a lot of-
He's clearly in their league.
I mean, he's, look at who he's dating. Okay, so, but you know what I'm saying? Where there's like some kind of like the vibe with a lot of he's clearly in their league. I mean, he's look at
who he's dating. Okay. So, but you know what I'm saying? Where there's like some sense of like,
when people talk about it, it's kind of like, why Pete Davidson? Like of all the people, like,
why him? And I wonder if he seems like someone who has a really healthy ego in the sense that
it doesn't seem like it's, if anything, maybe it's like too self-deprecating. And I wonder if he
maybe has this mentality of like, because he feels so like happy-go-lucky, how did I even end up here dating these beautiful women? Like he keeps putting
in the effort. Like he keeps planning the dates. He never takes it for granted. And he really shows
up for them in a way that's like very desirable. No, I feel like he has like this quiet confidence.
Have you seen him on the last season of the Kardashians when they went to the Met together?
He's just chilling. He's got his full fit on his sunglasses. He has, he has he has yeah he has his own confidence to be clear this is not me like not believing that
emrata would be into pete davidson i totally would believe that those two could be an item
i just think based off of like just the trajectory of what's going on in each of their lives it's
clearly like if i'm a publicist i'd'd be like, you should date Pete Davidson.
Like, this is the move.
Like, you know what I'm saying?
I just, that's what I'm doubting.
Like, it's not that they wouldn't otherwise
in another universe be an item.
I could totally picture,
she seemed like she's into like
a Pete Davidson type of guy, honestly.
But I just don't think, I think,
and if it turns into something, I just like it's this has been more hey how about we uh set up a date with you and pete and see what happens
i just have never understood the pr relationships in general like especially if you're already like
a very famous person like why don't you just like date like sure but you right you know you
recognize it happens well yeah i I just don't understand it.
I would bet
everything I have that those two won't
end up together. Well, no,
because I'm wondering, okay, so he might be
able to get all these
hot, attractive
females, but also it's like
if he's got this
funny, quiet
confidence to him,
someone's going to have to match him on that same level.
And I'm not saying that these women don't,
but it's also like, I don't know.
And as Pete Davidson, maybe his playbook,
isn't he just about reaching out?
Like it's all these women who are getting out
of these very serious long-term relationships.
And maybe that's his thing.
Maybe he's just like, maybe he doesn't want to date them.
Maybe he's just like, I'm doesn't want to date them. Maybe he's just like,
I'm funny.
I'm fun to be around.
Like who doesn't want a funny,
good to be around type of guy
when they're sad about a heartbreaker
being cheated on?
And like, I'm that guy.
And he's just like,
maybe-
But that would mean that he's not committal.
And it seems like he very much is.
What about him seems committal?
Branding someone's name on his body getting engaged after
a matter of weeks uh that sounds reactive not committal to me and that sounds maybe immature
dibs on their private jet yeah just because you're willing to like move fast and say crazy
shit or do crazy shit in a relationship like we've all like have done that we've all been
in relationships we're like oh my god it's amazing to be like oh shit oh no and i don't know this pete but like maybe he hasn't
learned from that but i don't think making grand gestures means that you're ready for commitment
it might you might like the idea of it and maybe he is maybe he's like let's get married tomorrow
maybe everyone he's dating he's just like let's do this and maybe that's what but none of these
relationships are lasting all that long or going anywhere.
True.
I don't know.
I mean, I feel like most dudes, they just can't even commit to like hanging out.
So he's making reservations.
Yeah.
It sounds like if he's willing to do that, like that sounds like a little bit more of
a commitment.
But also couldn't you hot take,
couldn't you argue marriage is just a grand gesture?
Like,
you know,
like what we're talking about.
It's a sustained grand gesture.
It's not like,
Oh,
let me do a trip or let me do one big purchase.
That is years.
It's the,
well,
I mean,
he did his getting tattoos,
but you know,
when you have that many tattoos,
I'll blend together.
The branding is a little bit more of a, just, just getting a tattoo. Wait, he branded? tattoos but you know when you have that many tattoos they all blend together the branding
is a little bit more of a just just getting a tattoo he branded what he branded kim he branded
kim on his body like the yeah that's nuts yeah would you you don't do you have a natalie tattoo
no would either of you consider getting tattoos of like either of a partner's like something that's like very specifically related to them or something that's like very closely linked to them where you know it's that to you?
No.
No.
Oh my God, this looks painful.
I would consider it if I were married, but it would be small and like easy to cover up.
Yeah.
Would you do a tattoo instead of a ring?
That's what people, I feel like sometimes people do.
I mean, maybe.
I feel like that's the equivalent of a tattoo prenup.
I want it small and easy to cover up.
Yeah.
How romantic.
I don't think romance is...
I just don't think romance is, maybe you're, I just don't think romance happens every day
by showing up for your partner and proving that you still want to be with them.
You still want to make it work and make them priority.
I don't think romance is like these kind of grand gestures that's like, oh, well, it's
an ink, so I can't get rid of it.
Or, you know, or even like saying, even like saying, I'll love you forever.
Like, great.
But like five years from now, I haven't been divorced,
but I know that relationships end, and you have to show up every day.
So I personally just the grand gestures don't mean much to me anymore.
It's about showing up every day.
100%, because I was talking to someone recently,
and she has been divorced and remarried.
And people talk about you get married,
and divorce should just never be an option.
It should always be an option,
because if people just get content and comfortable in their relationship
and they think that they can take advantage
of their partner
because they're never going anywhere,
like that is the kiss of death.
Because I think, yes,
romance and intimacy should be something
that is a choice
and something that should be intentional
and something that you choose every day.
Marriage is something
that you should have to choose every single day
if that's something that you,
you know, choose to participate in.
Yeah.
Do you see yourself getting married again?
I'm not against it.
I just, I, divorce is really painful, you know?
So I'm like, oh God, the thought of that, I'm like, but I mean, but yeah, if I met someone
and they wanted to marry me, I'd be like, well.
You're not against it.
Not against it, no.
Yeah, do you feel like you have any central piece of advice
on healing from divorce?
I think it's, I mean, you obviously have to feel everything.
I don't think you can, you can't bury any of it.
I think it's really important to really just go
through all the emotions
and process everything and really like like ask yourself how everything is making you feel
yeah that's that's the only way is just go through it and not try to avoid the difficult
or complicated feelings that come with it therapy really helps what else we got totally well i
was saying so black friday i feel like some people it's a part of their thanksgiving like just as
much as cutting the turkey it's like the next day they're out there shopping other people it's like
disgusting capitalism at its worst i'm curious like what your take on black friday is i i forgot
that it happened okay i mean other than the fact that, oh, by the way, Natural Habits, 65% off code BLACK22.
65?
Yeah.
That's our only sale of the year
until supplies last.
But anyway,
I don't participate
as a consumer
in Black Friday.
No, I've never gone
Black Friday shopping.
I'd rather chop my limbs off
than have to like go
stand in a line for hours or deal with crowds.
I hate crowds in general.
But the deals, you can't really beat the deals.
I like the Cyber Monday.
If I can sit at home and shop online.
I love shopping online.
So when you see those deals.
Are the Black Friday deals better than the Cyber Monday deals?
Do they reward people for waiting in line at 4 in the morning?
I don't know. I don't even know if the Black Friday
deals are what they were. I saw
a funny TikTok and this guy was talking about it. He's like,
what are these Black Friday deals? 25% off?
He's like, that's like some Memorial Day
stuff. And like the way people go,
people get into like
fistfights over game consoles
and flat screen TVs.
Did you see that video about the flat screen TV?
Like some two guys were trying to rip it out of each other's hands and then
they started stomping on it because they were mad.
Yeah.
I feel like there's one of those like every,
every year.
Every,
yeah,
I do enjoy,
even though I don't like participating in Black Friday,
I do like the,
the videos.
But I feel like the shopping online has somewhat decreased the amount of crazy we see.
I just remember videos
growing up of
the second Best Buy open.
People were sprinting inside
and I feel like we don't see
quite that volume anymore.
Camping outside.
I was like,
you'll never catch me
camping outside of a store.
Yeah, I mean, listen,
if you want the TV
and that's the only way
to get it,
I guess,
good on you. I think there's something probably exhilarating about it. way to get it, I guess, good on you.
I think there's something
probably exhilarating about it.
It is.
I personally,
I love a deal.
We did it a few years
in a row growing up.
It used to be like
a family event.
You would like,
you know,
after dinner,
you'd go wait outside
at the Walmart.
Oh,
not overnight,
but we would do it
with the people
we grew up across the street with
and it was the two moms
and the four girls
and we'd wake up at like
five in the morning and go
and we at one point got a bunch of stuff at like a department store and we got the giant stall
in the dressing room because there was five of us and then all of a sudden there was like a knock
on the door and my mom comes in she has like icies and popcorn and she's like time for supplements
so we just took over an entire stall and stayed there for probably an hour trying on clothes yeah
yep do you feel like you're like because i feel like everybody obviously everyone likes a deal
but like some people like a deal i consider myself one of them would you consider yourself
someone who's like a real like really appreciates a bargain or are you kind of more of the mindset
that like like do you like a deal so much that you buy it for the deal not even needing the item
that you're buying no i mean listen i like costco but i don you buy it for the deal, not even needing the item that you're buying? No.
I mean, listen, I like Costco, but I don't necessarily, yeah, I'm not really a deal gal.
You sound like Cindy.
And I'll be like, Cindy is my housekeeper.
And I'll be like, out of hot sauce.
And the next thing I know, she'll bring like 20 Cholulas.
She's like, it was buy 20, get one free. She's like, well, at Costco, they're on sale.
I'm like, well, what am I going to do with 20 of these?
I mean, listen, Costco does have great deals on alcohol.
And there's certain things that I'm like,
okay, well, you got to go to Costco for this
because you can get it for a better price.
You know, those kind of things.
But I don't necessarily need value size things.
I don't need giant jugs of peanut butter.
But I don't know. There jugs of peanut butter, you know? But I don't know.
There is something exciting about Costco.
I don't know if I've ever been into a Costco.
What?
What?
Should we take vial files on the road?
No, that's not true.
I went to Costco in Hawaii.
Hawaii?
That doesn't count.
That seems far too fun.
I had good steaks.
But I don't think I've been to a Costco in the States.
Because I remember I was with Natalie's cousin.
We were staying with him in Hawaii.
And I remember being like, oh, this is a Costco.
Isn't it like a Sam's Club, basically?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Was the Hawaiian one?
I just envision it being way cooler than.
It just looked like, it felt like I was in a Sam's Club.
Oh.
You could probably get a huge box of those chocolate covered macadamia nuts.
Yeah.
Probably. A bunch of pineapples macadamia nuts. Yeah. Probably.
Bunch of pineapples.
But they have like the samples.
And then even if you don't want the samples, the food at Costco.
Yeah.
They have that.
They have the pizza first.
All their pizza is really good.
And then they have this like.
Their own brand?
Well, they have like a food court.
Yeah.
Where it's so cheap.
I remember when I was a kid, it's like a soda for 35 cents or something.
Should I have Cindy take me?
What is that like berry twist thing?
The soft serve with the berry.
Because they have the soft serve that's like vanilla and chocolate, but they also have
the berry kind of smoothie situation.
It's creamy.
Is it like a sorbet almost?
I don't know.
It was like a soft serve and it had this like berry like swirl of like this like kind of
like a jam, but I don't know.
Listen.
swirl of like this like kind of like a not a jam but i don't know listen if there is one like costco style item that you could have in your house at all times guaranteed unlimited supply what would
you pick oh gosh tequila i was gonna say kirkland the shield one the big one the kirkland the
kirkland vodka and tequila are superior they're good good. They're great. And the vodka's
huge. It's huge. It's so tall.
It's so big.
But you can always get a good deal on a flat screen.
So you never, I don't know, I just think that like
Black Friday. You can always get a new flat screen.
You can also get your eyes checked there. You can get your contacts there.
They have a whole jewelry counter.
Travel, Costco travel.
I am missing out. I got a body pillow
recently at Costco and I think it
has really helped me become a little less uh physically needy in my relationship you can also
buy pants and underwear and socks wasn't Costco the place that you could return anything at any
time no matter how long you owned it for was that I think L.L. Bean and maybe REI but L.L. Bean for
sure used to do that L.L. Bean maybe I don't know But L.L. Bean for sure used to do that.
L.L. Bean is not Costco. Maybe, I don't know.
I don't know about Costco, but.
Like you could wear a sweater for a year
and just bring it back if you had the balls
to like return it, they would.
But I wonder if like,
if it's kind of a reverse psychology thing
when stores do that,
where they're sort of like trying to be like the nice guy.
Yeah.
You know, so then you don't feel as like contentious
and like, oh, you like, feel as like contentious and like,
oh, you like you swindled me
and I'm returning this.
Like so some items do need to be returned
within 90 days.
But with few exceptions,
Costco does have a 100%
satisfactory guarantee.
Simply bring back the product
to any Costco warehouse
and our member services team
will be happy to assist you.
Wow.
They said assist you.
Doesn't mean it's foolproof, but they'll try.
They'll have a conversation.
It's a negotiation going on.
Good luck.
So Kendall Jenner and Devin Booker are once again off again.
This is a notorious on-again, off-again relationship.
We don't know if it's final this time, but according to reps and whatnot, it was because
of busy schedules, which
what do we make of that? That was why they broke up last time.
They said they had too busy of careers.
So we can expect them to rekindle
this in six months or something, basically.
Also, like, who cares?
Do people
care about that? I don't know.
The Kardashians? No, I like Kendall,
but like this boyfriend, I don't know. The Kardashians? No, I like Kendall. But like this boyfriend, I don't know.
It seems like...
I don't know.
I don't see enough of them. I'm not invested
in that relationship whatsoever.
What celebrity
couples are you invested in?
Ooh, that's a good question.
I like
Kourtney and Travis. We're going to stay on the
Kardashian. Kourtney and Travis I really am to stay on the Kardashian Kourtney and Travis
I really am into
do you like
Machine Gun Kelly
and Megan Fox
I feel like they're
cousins
yeah
if you like one
they are cousins
you know I know there's
I think it's like
controversial
very like
I don't know
but I actually like
don't find them
to get
no I'm kind of like
I think they're
I think it's a good like match.
Oh, Machine Gun Kelly and Marine Fox.
Yeah.
Other people not like them?
I think it's like a little bit, you either hate it or you like it.
Same with Kravis.
Well, it's like if you like a kind of a pouring of affection in a relationship.
A lot of tongue.
And a lot of like, yeah, PDA, then you're you do like a nice like horned up couple
why not yeah but I like that they've they've been like friends for so long and their kids are
friends and you know I like I like that kind of that story what celebrity divorce has devastated
you the most oh who's been divorced recently or I don't know do you feel like i feel like the last one that really
wrecked people were brad and jennifer aniston i mean yeah that one was not not in brad and
angelina i don't feel like people i mean like really wrecked people before that was like
britney and justin yeah you know like that was back in the day where it was just like it just makes too much sense how
could they not date you know in sync britney spears yeah uh maybe that's because i was 17 i
know but i remember that was yeah i was like i'm they can't make it okay i honestly remember like
thinking about britney spears and justin timmer like when they broke up but like i don't understand
how can they not make this work it It's just like, it's,
we need this.
This is,
but I, I feel like,
yeah,
I don't know if you like,
you know how they say they don't have,
there's no real movie stars anymore.
And there's no true,
like,
you know,
like it's like a,
like America's royalty,
you know,
couple.
Yeah.
Do we have one?
I mean,
I feel like it was Kim and Kanye for a hot sec.
I feel like when I think of American royalty,
it's a lot of cars.
Okay, I have an answer.
It is Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds.
Oh.
You know what?
Yeah.
They better not.
If they didn't work out,
I think people would be devastated.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
She's pregnant again.
She's pregnant.
Yeah.
Can you imagine anything more devastating
than them breaking up while she's pregnant?
No.
No.
They're also so funny.
It feels like everyone just wants to be them.
Yeah.
That would be, yeah.
I think they're kind of-
Good call, Amanda.
Thank you.
If they haven't been officially named
America's like royalty couple-
We're doing it now.
We're doing it now.
The vile files first annual.
I want to embossed.
I don't know if, yeah, I feel like people would be truly devastated yeah i would be yeah i feel like
this was i feel like this was less of like a notable couple but like when john mulaney
and anna marie tendler broke up i found that very upsetting but it was kind of a similar like
ned from try guys like you branded yourself as a wife guy and now you're breaking up with your wife
all we ever heard about his wife
was in his stand-up about how in love
he was with his wife.
One day he was in rehab and the next day
he's...
Olivia Munn's pregnant.
And they met at church.
Allegedly
John...
That famous Celebrity Wednesday church
that people pretend to... Celebrity Wednesday
church? Is it on Wednesday?
There's this church. Hillsong? Yeah, it's like Hillside or some shit.
I thought Hillsong went down. I don't know.
Does that not exist anymore? I just remember moving to LA
and every Wednesday, people were like,
what are you doing? We're going to church. I'm like, what?
And it just, it was
like a celebrity meetup. Yeah, it was
a scene. I can imagine
the assistant emailing the pastor,
being like, sorry, we have no avails for Sunday.
Could we look to next Wednesday evening?
And if people found a religious fulfillment out of it,
no disrespect.
I feel like the pastor had an affair with someone else.
I don't know.
Yeah.
If it was Hillsong, that's why.
There was kind of a scandal, and then it went down.
So that doesn't exist anymore.
Oh, wow. Okay, well well time for some texting office hours
how's it going good i'm jen i'm 25 how can we help jen um i need help telling my best friend
that i'm not comparable with her boyfriend staying at my house oh okay why would your
friend's boyfriend need to stay at your house so So New Year's Eve is coming up and her birthday is the day before New Year's Eve.
And she invited them both to come and stay with me.
She invited them both to come and stay with you. So she didn't ask.
How long have you been friends with this friend?
Since college. So like five, four years.
I'm guessing that she's the type of friend or you're close
enough where she just assumes she can stay with you when she visits kind of thing yeah she asked
if she could come and i was like of course you're always welcome and then like two weeks later she
was like oh but i want him to come too gotcha what'd you say so i took the coward way out and
ignored it and then sent a tiktok not, a couple hours later. Gotcha. Well done. Why don't you want him there?
So he stayed here before. And it was really bad, at least in my perspective. So I can give you the
rundown of that. They came and stayed with me. We went out. I DD'd. He was passed out in my
backseat. Fine. He was drunk. He asked what my address was. I gave
it to him. It was two o'clock in the morning. Just trying to get us home. Woke up the next day
to like crumbs all over my couch, my coffee table, my rug. So he had ordered like DoorDash or
something at 3am. He didn't ask if it was okay. Didn't ask if we wanted anything. That was the
first thing. And then the second
thing when they got up, I was like, oh, I'm going to go change for brunch. I was like a foot off the
couch and he ran and cannonballed out of my brand new sofa. I was like, okay. Third thing, they left
and I found beer cans all over my guest bedroom on my brand new wood desk. They left ring marks.
So it was just like crazy and i
just don't want him here again do you think it was more him than her yeah that was all him um
but obviously she was around for those things i think i mean it's her boyfriend so maybe she's
just used to that behavior and i'm not did you she didn't say anything. Last time they left, after they left, did you say anything to your roommate whatsoever?
Or your friend, rather? I'm sorry.
No, because I didn't anticipate a situation
where they'd be coming again or he would be coming again.
So I was just like, it's her relationship, not mine.
It's over and done.
Why did you anticipate that they would never visit again?
Well, I anticipated he would never be here again like
she comes she stays but like i never saw a situation where like i would invite him back
into my household gotcha all right well you definitely have to say something i know and are
you like asking for help how to bring this up yeah i don't know i like i don't want to hurt her
feelings i don't know how to
address it because it's been so long but now they want to come and it's also the day after her
birthday which is like another issue to it and why are they coming to your town so apparently
all of her local friends like kind of dubbed her and weren't going to be around so she like asked
if she could
come and of course i said yes um and then she threw him in the mix later i mean i'm assuming
she wants to be with her boyfriend on her birthday which of course i get that she wants to be with
him i'm just in a weird position because i never brought it up before yeah and now we're here again
so where are you on like is it a non-negable? Like there's no world in which he can come?
I don't, I guess I don't know where I'm at.
Like obviously best case for me,
I don't want him here in my space
because it stresses me out, makes me anxious.
I don't, I don't know if I have a conversation with her,
if that will change things,
if I'll probably will still feel that way.
And I guess I have to decide
if I'm willing to suck that up for her sake um that's
kind of where i'm at i don't think she can afford like do you think she's in a position just uh
afford a hotel room i don't know i don't want to i mean i he's not i think she probably is
he's they've come to the area before and he stayed with friends he has here so like i don't know if
it's fair for me to like throw that out there yeah Yeah. I don't think it's really up to you to come up with suggestions.
It was just, you know, lesson learned here is I think you just need to speak up when it actually
happens. The big question is, is this a non-negotiable for you? Or is it like, is there
zero scenario where you're like, Hey, I'm just sorry. He's just not coming. Probably not because
it's
her birthday and i don't want to be i don't want to do that to her it was a different time probably
but the fact that it's her birthday i think adds a different level so i would probably
be willing to suck it up but i do want to like preface it at least gotcha uh well i think you
just need to accept the fact that there's no way to bring this up without at least annoying your friend or rubbing, you know, like there's no way she's going to receive this like well.
Yeah.
You know, so I think you just got to have to have the conversation.
And that conversation.
So just like list everything out that happened and.
Yeah, I don't think.
I think you just try to keep it i you know
off the top of my head you read you reach out to her i don't think you should text it yeah
facetime probably and just say hey can we talk i didn't bring this up last time because honestly
i just think you think you'd ask again but i i just say like, I'm a little uncomfortable with Ryan coming and staying
here. And she's going to say, well, why, why do you, why do you feel that way? And you can say,
well, last time, like without like, you know, it's like he did this and it was, it felt a little
inconsiderate. It just, you know, there's beer cans everywhere. I just wasn't uncomfortable. He just, he didn't seem very, he just didn't seem very considerate that he was
visiting and he really took to heart, like making himself at home and like, I'm here to support you
and you're my friend, but like, he just didn't make me feel comfortable while he was here,
you know? And I just don't want that again now the big question is i'm curious what you're
going to do if she immediately tries to take his side and how do you think she will how do you
think she's going to handle that you saying that to her which without sounding accusatory
just making it about how you felt without you know what, what you don't like, don't call him
names. Don't like lean into like, Oh, he's the worst. And like, how can you date this guy? Just
say like, listen, like, I just, I hated how he handled himself here last time. And like, I just
don't want to deal with that again. And it makes, it gave me a lot of anxiety. How, how do you think
she's going to handle that? I mean, she's probably going to get defensive, which is why I didn't
bring it up. I tried to avoid it the first time because that is her boyfriend. she's going to handle that i mean she's probably going to get defensive which is why i didn't bring it up i tried to avoid it the first time because that is her
boyfriend she's going to defend him well i don't know like she can defend it but also like knowledge
that maybe he handled a certain way i mean she's still your friend too like there is a middle
ground like she should be able to have i'm afraid that's not gonna happen that's what i would love to happen we had a falling out a couple years ago with some things i approached her with and she
completely cut me off so i'm like afraid yeah okay we're gonna get into that again so that's
i don't think you should worry about that okay right what do you have okay yeah yeah no i think
friendship dynamics can be really hard i've dealt with friends with boyfriends and ones that i didn't particularly get along with or like
and so it is it is uh it's it's it's a thin line but i think just being honest and coming from
a place of honesty of recognizing that it is her boyfriend that it is her birthday that you do
really want to spend time with her and see her so is there a way that maybe she can talk to him and let him know like hey so I I wasn't aware but
last time when you were there you kind of you you weren't as respectful as a guest that I would have
you know hoped or she would have hoped so I mean hopefully maybe it wouldn't be awkward that there's
a way that she can maybe talk to him so that way he can be on better behavior
and come and not have it be awkward and just have it be a better time and turn over a new leaf
perhaps if you if you present it in that way where you want to get to a better place and
have a better relationship with him for the sake of your friendship and keep it like a productive
kind of conversation in that way yeah i think think the approach with the least amount of conflict is you not even suggesting that
he can't stay there.
I'm not saying you should do this.
I'm just, you know, it's you saying, hey, listen, can I talk to you?
Last time he was here, this happened and it really made me uncomfortable.
Can you, like, can you just,
I don't know,
talk to him or you're,
you're,
it's,
it's a,
you're open to him coming,
but you're asking him to behave better type of conversation or to behave differently and be a little bit more respectful about the fact that he is a
guest,
but you're not,
you're not even bringing up the fact that you're not wanting him there.
So like,
that's,
that's best case. That's so like that's right that's
best case that's like that's the most that's the least conflict but you have to first decide
whether that's even an option for you i mean i feel like i have to let it be just because she's
my friend and the situation it is um i hate that your friends are someone that you can't
feel comfortable communicate with out of fear that she's just going to shut you out and and
abandon you as a friend like i mean yeah i'm also afraid that it will get 10 times worse if you don't
say anything and you think you can push through it because you're going to be in close quarters
it's already and it already annoyed you the first time so you're already going to be past your
threshold if he does anything this next time right and i think it's easier to be to think oh i can push through it or i won't say anything but
now the fact that you've noticed all these things you've been put in that position before
you're just it's going to be the straw that broke the camel's back at that point
i definitely don't think you should not address it because i'm afraid if i don't that like i'll
just explode that's the littlest thing if he's here. Yeah.
So yeah, you could try to just say,
hey, this happened.
Can you ask him to be more considerate while he's a guest here?
If she pushes back on that, I don't know.
Yeah, then you have your answer of like what you know you need to do.
Yeah.
To say maybe it's best that you don't stay here then,
if you insist on him coming,
that then I just, I need my space.
This is my space.
I need it to be respected.
Yeah.
And if she can't understand that, respect that, then.
Yeah, like what is she bringing to the table to this friendship?
I don't know. Yeah, unfortunately. Yeah. No yeah no i mean she's my best friend from college so we've just been friends for a long
time and i've never like she doesn't know any of my opinions about him or anything like i've been
nothing but supportive i'm super friendly with him so i just i was afraid to bring it up i don't
want her to feel like i'm attacking her relationship or feel blindsided because I've never mentioned anything.
This is just a hymn.
Yeah.
And you should have.
But like this is him just being a more considerate guest.
Yeah.
You don't have to get into what you really think about him if you don't want to.
And you don't have to.
No, I wasn't going to.
I just don't want her to feel blindsided because she doesn't know i have any like opinions
well if she if she asks why you didn't bring it up just say i didn't want to you know make a big
deal of it because i just thought maybe it was a one-time thing i didn't i didn't i couldn't
envision a time where it'd be important to bring this up that he would be coming back or staying
here again but now that he is i do feel it's important to to get these things off my chest and let you know because i want you know to be a better experience for everyone yeah and if she
can't respect that then i would i would reflect on the friendship yeah a little bit because i'm
hoping she will i mean i think she'll be defensive off the bat and then maybe i mean it's still a month
away so it's time to cool off yeah you got time and like katie said just say hey i'm excited for
you to come out i'm excited for your birthday i just want to talk about this one thing last time
he came out it just he was a little inconsiderate and he ruined some things it just kind of left a
mess and i felt like i was just babysitting him the whole time
you know i maybe don't i know i don't want to feel that way yeah and listen if if you want to
enjoy him but i also i don't want like i want to enjoy you being here and i just i was not
i felt really anxious the whole time while he was around just because it just just because how he
carried himself and i just i don't want to
can it not happen again can you talk to him i don't know pretty much you know i think yeah i
think you just kind of bring it up i would be i wouldn't be committed to anything at the end i
would just bring it up that way open-ended and see where it goes because i agree with katie i mean
depending how she handles you might say like listen i can't wait to see you but maybe it is best that you guys don't stay here because
i don't want him to feel uncomfortable and i don't want to be uncomfortable and i don't want
this to ruin your birthday right okay yeah i'll do that i'll leave it kind of and see what happens
yeah i feel like that's disarming enough that it's not it's not an attack you're you know still
supportive you're still excited but you know you just gotta you gotta be honest yeah maybe
we'll see how it goes i'll let you know yeah just try not to be mindful of your words and that
you're not attacking him or you know making her feel like he sucks or
you hate him you know no no i wouldn't i have yet to do that so i've been very good about it i'll
just let her know how it made me feel and um hope she can take my feelings into consideration that's
really that's all you gotta do and i think if you say it like that then she should at least say oh
i'm sorry like that sorry. That would upset...
That was rude.
I'll talk to him.
The best case scenario...
I hope for that.
The best case scenario,
she downplays it
and says she's sorry
and then she'll talk to him.
And you just have to trust
that it was a one-time thing
and she doesn't make a big deal about it.
Yeah, because then if she can come out here
and it can be a totally different experience
and you can have the best time,
like, all this was just, you know.
Yeah.
Not for nothing,
because your feelings are valid,
but, you know, it's just, I think,
I think giving benefit of the doubt
and giving a second chance to this,
you know, might be beneficial to everyone.
Who knows?
You definitely shouldn't be made to feel uncomfortable having people in your house.
No.
Sounds like we have a plan.
So keep us posted.
I'd love to know how this conversation goes.
Yeah.
And good luck.
Thanks.
I'll definitely let you know what happens.
In the future, maybe next time time just express all you had to do
last time when it actually happened was just say hey listen like i was just a little frustrated
like he did this x y and z like just communicate your frustrations in the moment without like
causing it a fight you know at least that way she knows like hey i was a little frustrated
that he did this you know and that's all you had to say i shouldn't have avoided it but i did
yeah leave and learn all right we'll keep us posted i will thank all right take care
bye bye bye katie yes thanks for coming thanks for having me. Any final thoughts, things you want to leave our audience with,
things you want to plug?
Oh, well, yeah.
I mean, Vanderpump Rules will be back soon,
beginning of next year sometime.
So make sure you tune in to that.
There's no official release date?
Sometime in February, I believe.
Okay.
And then, yeah, hopefully we got our sandwich shop
that'll be open sometime
you know early spring
and next year sometime
so I'm excited about that
and then
yeah
I don't know
I have podcasts as well
maybe you should name a
sandwich after Raquel
and then like
something really
like sauerkraut
or something
yeah
no
is it
why
because we like
to encourage
other people to be petty,
even though we don't.
Listen, I get down with the petty,
but I also want to not.
I'm kidding.
That's giving me too much attention to it.
You also have a podcast.
I do, and I have episodes that come out every Friday.
It's called You're Gonna Love Me on all the platforms.
So, yeah.
And what's your podcast about for the people who might not have?
It's just kind of about,
I talk a lot about human experience and judging and being judged and the opinions that we have.
Great.
Yeah.
Well, check it out.
Check it out.
And then you can follow me at musickillskate on Instagram.
There you go.
That's pretty much where I'm at.
And then, yeah, that's it.
Well, check out Kate.
Check out her podcast.
Check out her sandwich shop when it's out.
Watch her on Vanderpump Rules.
Serena Kerrigan is joining us next Thursday for Going Deeper.
Don't want to miss that.
That will be a lot of fun.
Thanks for listening, guys.
Don't forget to send in those questions at asknickatcastme.com.
Cast with a K for all things Ask Nick.
And we will see you next week.