The Viall Files - E522 Freestyle with Heath Hussar - Nepo Babies, Breaking Bad Habits, and The Best Singers Of All Time

Episode Date: January 4, 2023

Welcome back to The Viall Files: Freestyle Edition! Today we are joined by former Viner, YouTuber, podcaster, and entrepreneur, Heath Hussar. In our first recording of the new year, we start off with ...some Bachelor Tea, getting into Tyler Cameron and Kristin Cavalleri spending New Year’s Eve together, placing bets if they will become official or not, Michelle Young’s “leave no crumbs” comment, and talking about a reality TV crossover where Susie Evans called into a dating podcast that Cole from Love Is Blind Season 3 was a guest. We then end Bachelor Tea by talking about Rachel Lindsey expressing that she will not go on Chris Harrison’s new podcast, but that if Chris was willing to go on her podcast, she would be down to talk. We then get into talking about New Year's Resolutions, whether it’s easier to stop a bad habit than it is to start a new one, and how Heath quit smoking. We then get into the conversations around broadcasters drinking on air during the New Year's Eve shows, and then dive deep into the nepo baby discourse surrounding the release of the infamous New York Mag cover. We then discuss Celine Dion being left off of the Rolling Stones’ “200 Greatest Singers of All Time” list, and share some airport stories before jumping into Texting Office Hours. We’re then joined by a caller whose friend has recently started dating her ex-boyfriend. Worried about the situation and the safety of her friend given some past situations, our caller wonders how involved she should be in giving advice and potentially stopping this relationship. “Take advantage of luck.”  If you are interested in running a book club in your city, send an email to: DTYEHBBookClub@gmail.com  Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to our new email address asknick@theviallfiles.com to be a part of our Monday episodes.  To Order Nick’s Book Go To: http://www.viallfiles.com Support a Local Bookstore: https://bookshop.org/books/don-t-text-your-ex-happy-birthday-and-other-advice-on-love-sex-and-dating-9798212185622/9781419755491 THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Rocket Money: Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions – and manage your expenses the easy way – by going to http://www.RocketMoney.com/VIALL. Care/of: For 50% off your first Care/of order, go to http://www.TakeCareOf.com and enter code VIALL50. Episode Socials:  @viallfiles @nickviall @heathhussar See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 You can listen to The Vile Files ad-free on Amazon Music. What's going on, everybody? Welcome back to another episode of The Vile Files Freestyle Edition and our first session of 2023 happy 2023 everybody i hope you all had a great holiday season our our special guest today heath hauser how's it going guys is with us today well happy to have you thanks for having me on i appreciate it how was your holiday season uh it was really nice it was pretty relaxing we just went down to uh san diego for a couple days and who's we me my girlfriend and a couple friends a couple friends yeah yeah what'd you guys do
Starting point is 00:00:49 we just rented like a little beach house and walked along the beach for three days got my steps in got your steps in yeah they've got a they got a little theme park right there on the water pretty cute yeah okay that's a good time. And then just got back yesterday. Did you do like, what holiday do you celebrate? Or is it Christmas? Are you a Christmas guy? Yeah, I'm a big Christmas guy. Big Christmas guy.
Starting point is 00:01:12 Yeah. What'd you do for Christmas? I went to Florida for the last time. Ever? Yeah. That's where I was born and raised. And my parents just retired and moved to Tennessee. And my brother and his wife are following them. So they moving to Tennessee also so they got their house all sold and then
Starting point is 00:01:29 we did one last uh hoorah in Florida and I saw my grandparents and then they're gonna be going up to Tennessee and I'll never be back to Florida I don't think ever I don't I don't see a point I've never really been yeah I've never thought you know where I want to go Florida like I've never really been, yeah. I've never thought, you know where I want to go? Florida. Like I've been to Florida and I'm sure I'll go back. You know, I still, I want to have fun in Miami. Like I've never, you get about two days in Miami and that's a wrap. That's all you need. I feel like I need someone from Miami to really show me a good Miami time.
Starting point is 00:02:00 I've had an okay time in Miami once. You need to have like connections in Miami, I realized. And I do not have that. Everyone has a cousin in Miami. Not me. No, I went,
Starting point is 00:02:11 first time I went to Miami, it was like an impromptu trip I took with my buddy after my fiance at the time had cheated on me. And we're like, let's go to Miami and like, just get away. And that was like a terrible idea. Cause there were like two dudes with absolutely no connections who like didn't have a ton of money to blow blow and even if we did we weren't going to blow it on bottle service you know like we weren't going to do that so we
Starting point is 00:02:34 literally did nothing i felt like an even bigger loser i was gonna say it made me feel absolutely one of the worst cities to be distraught in yeah Yeah. Like Miami and Vegas. It wasn't even like that sunny. It was a real, it really soured me to Miami. But if you find fun, it is a good time. Yeah. But also for all our Florida residents listening to this show. I love Florida. I'm sure it's lovely.
Starting point is 00:02:56 And maybe one of you all will enlighten me to the glamour that is. Do you like airboat rides? Gator hunting? Gator hunting. Slogging in the swamps? glamour that is. Do you like airboat rides? Gator hunting? Gator hunting. Slogging in the swamps? None of that really. Ah, well then you probably won't like it there. It feels to me.
Starting point is 00:03:13 You know. I have some suggestions. That's all activities I grew up doing. I'll make you an itinerary. Okay. Yeah. Depends on where you want to go. All right.
Starting point is 00:03:18 Well, we have a lot to get into. Before we do some housekeeping notes, on Thursday's Going Deeper, Dr. Maya Shankar returns to the Vile Files. Also, you know, wrote a blurb on my book, so I'm partial to her. But we're bringing Dr. Shankar back because she, for those of you who don't know, she's a behavioral scientist. She worked for the Obama White House. She works for Google now. She has an amazing podcast called The Slight Change of Plans. She's had some really incredible guests on there, but she'll be with us to talk about all things New Year's resolutions.
Starting point is 00:03:47 How do we change our behaviors? It's one thing to send a New Year's resolution, but how do we actually accomplish that? So she has some pretty insightful things. So we'll get into that. It'll be a fun episode. So that's on Thursday? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:01 Do we have some basher tea to get out of the way? Yeah. Keith, participate. I'll try my best. You ready for this? Okay. Tyler Cameron and Kristen Cavallari. Potential couple.
Starting point is 00:04:12 Obviously, they did that campaign back in April for her jewelry line, and they were canoodling and whatever, but everyone was saying, oh, it's just for a photo shoot. She even said she definitely hired him for the project to bring some buzz. Sure. But they spent New Year's Eve together. And it was actually in Jason Tardik's Instagram stories. There was videos of them.
Starting point is 00:04:30 They had dinner together. They were dancing. They were touching. And Jason took the story down. Just kind of like, not like, I don't know. Like, you know, more than a friend would, I think. Also, you're not like dancing and being, I don't know. There was definitely vibes.
Starting point is 00:04:45 And then Jason took it down before it expired. Like before the 24 hours. How long was it up though? Did he take it down in like 30 seconds or was it like the 18th hour? Yeah, unclear. But potential couple. Maybe.
Starting point is 00:05:00 I don't know. I feel like, I think Jason and Tyler are decent friends. So Tyler definitely gave him permission to post that. Well, I mean, I just feel like it could just be like a group setting. Drinking. Like Tyler could be there because of Jason and then like Kristen. I think they all live in Nashville.
Starting point is 00:05:16 So I feel like that's a fairly. But you're not like sitting next to each other at dinner and dancing and being like. So I guess if this comes down to around the room, we'll just... Do you think eventually Christian Cavallari and Tyler Cameron will become Instagram official at any point? Yes.
Starting point is 00:05:31 You do? Yes. I'm going to vote no. Amanda? I'm going to say only one of... It has to go beyond the Pete and Amrata bullshit relationship. They can't be seen at a Knicks game
Starting point is 00:05:44 pretending to be in love. They have to post something. And it's got to like, we need like five Instagram we're in love photos. Five? It can't just be one. It's got to be multiple in-feed.
Starting point is 00:05:55 It's got to be like an official launch. Okay. Yeah. When did you first launch your girlfriends? Five years ago. Yeah, but like
Starting point is 00:06:03 how long into the relationship? Oh, um. A while. I think it was probably maybe like three months okay and then she started like being in my videos and on my social media gotcha gotcha so it was more of a soft launch no it was a hard launch just put it right in a video i was like hey guys this is my girlfriend okay This is my girl. Okay. You're like, all right. It wasn't like, figure out who this person is. No. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:06:27 I do have a confession to make. I have never seen a Bachelor or Bachelorette episode in my entire life. Okay. But I do know who Tyler Cameron is. I've met him a few times. He's a very, very sweet kid. He's been very kind to me. Lovely.
Starting point is 00:06:43 Yeah. Wish them the best if they are a couple um so i think you are your reality tv man at all i haven't had television in a very long time i think that kind of puts me out no tv uh i have like a netflix account but i i don't have cable or i haven't for so like yellow stone 1923. Never seen it. White Lotus. White Lotus. Nothing. None of it.
Starting point is 00:07:15 I'm also not like a huge reality TV person, I guess. What don't you like about it? It's not that I don't like it. I think it's I can't connect to these random people's lives or like care, if that makes sense. It's not like in a mean way or anything like I just I have a hard time dedicating my time to being like what are they up to today
Starting point is 00:07:32 let's watch are you a sports fan I don't watch sports either what do you care what do you do what gets you fired up I like cars you work in cars you clearly like coffee. I do like coffee a lot.
Starting point is 00:07:47 A lot. Man, this is tough. He's having an existential crisis. I need to like something. I like hanging out with my friends. There you go. I like enjoying quality time with them going out to dinners. I like being with my family.
Starting point is 00:08:02 In Florida? What do you do to kill time? Wow. How do you kill time? Wow. How do you decompress? Are there any passion projects? Yeah, I guess I like to watch car stuff and tinker with cars. I like golfing a lot.
Starting point is 00:08:17 You like golf? Yeah, that's like my activity if I go out and do something. Alright. I like that we're putting you on the spot. This is fun. You look very vulnerable All right. I like that we're putting you on the spot. Yeah. This is fun. You look very vulnerable right now. I feel it. I feel it.
Starting point is 00:08:30 I guess nobody's ever asked me what I like. What do you care about? I feel like that's a classic dating question. I haven't been dating in five years I've been with my girlfriend. So I guess I'm not used to it. Well, before we really dig into to to heath here do you think there'll be instagram official amanda i think one of them will post and the other one won't but who and i'm just saying that to be contrarian that's not yeah that's a bullshit
Starting point is 00:08:58 take that's that's not gonna happen neither of them are gonna go okay so my other 20 to one i think we need to start putting money behind these things. Oh, I think this should become a betting show in 2023. Oh, there you go. I got pulled into a bet about Nick the other day. I got Venmo'd. Someone bet you about me? What was the bet?
Starting point is 00:09:16 If you would get engaged by the end of the year. How do you... Oh, by the end of this year? Mm-hmm. Oh, 2022. Well, actually, the bet was the week before Christmas. Our theory was the week before Christmas, if you would get engaged the week before Christmas or not.
Starting point is 00:09:27 You said no. Well, I was just pulled into it, and my friend was like, if he doesn't get engaged the week before Christmas, I will send you money. And I got sent money. Wow. Five dollars.
Starting point is 00:09:36 Okay. Still money. Yeah. All right. We'll bet a dollar. Okay. Yeah. I like this.
Starting point is 00:09:44 Wonderful. So, what's your vote? I. Okay. Yeah, I like this. So what's your vote? I'm no. Amanda, Ellie's yes. What are you? I think they will, personally. Both? Just because I know them so well.
Starting point is 00:09:55 You're good friends. Yeah, I've just watched them really good. Growing their love. Yeah, I just think it's easier for people nowadays to become Instagram official. How old is Kristen? Let's look. Tyler, how old? This is a bit of an age difference.
Starting point is 00:10:09 Now, who is this girl? She's 35. Okay. He's 28, 29. He's got to be early 30s by this point, right? He's 29. 29? Okay.
Starting point is 00:10:18 29? Well, he's going to be 30 at the end of this month. Oh, he's an Aquarius. I don't know what that means. I know nothing about Aquariuses. I know at the end of this month. Oh he's an Aquarius. I don't know what that means. I know nothing about Aquariuses. I know nothing about like any of that shit. You guys aren't into Zodiacs?
Starting point is 00:10:30 I wish I was because I feel like it's a cool like thing to flex. What do you care about? That's another thing. I know. I know. Do you have passion?
Starting point is 00:10:38 God I should have just said yes to seem like I'm into something. You would have grilled you on that. I know. Alright. What did you say? Have you had an answer yet? Yes. You think I'm the something. You would have grilled you on that. I know. All right. What did you say? Have you had an answer yet? Yes.
Starting point is 00:10:47 You think I'm the only no? Yes. Are you going to pay each of us a dollar? So three dollars? Sure. Great. Venmo request. I'm going to drop it off at your house.
Starting point is 00:10:59 In an envelope. All right. What other Bachelor news do we have to burn through? I thought it was interesting. Okay. So obviously, I mean, a lot of friendships come out of the show so andrew justin rodney nate and romeo were all hanging out over the new year's weekend they posted a tiktok of them all dancing and they each had like a clip uh and they went in that order so andrew justin rodney nate romeo and
Starting point is 00:11:20 then michelle commented one two, and five left no crumbs. And Nate, her ex-fiance, was number four. So she said, everyone but Nate left no crumbs. She has entered the chat. That's a saucy comment. Yeah. It definitely doesn't... I mean, it's playful, I guess.
Starting point is 00:11:42 It also says she hasn't moved on. She and Rachel have become very tight. Rachel. Former Bachelorette Rachel. Oh, okay. Yeah. They did a TikTok recently, and you know the trend that's like,
Starting point is 00:11:53 me and blah, blah, blah get along so good? And they captioned it, me and Mr. Doesn't Exist get along so good. And it was just like the two of them dancing. It was fun. I'm just surprised she made that, like, how do you let the world know that you still haven't moved on
Starting point is 00:12:05 there that's one way right I don't like she didn't need to comment anything I mean and fine like hey I love the you know it's playful but like it definitely how else would you look at it yeah that she's still she's upset about something like
Starting point is 00:12:20 you know maybe you know maybe hers I'm just you know just kidding guys but like how else can you interpret that? I feel like it's one of those things where it's like, she's like, wait. Amanda, you're Michelle's lawyer. Advocate for me for like how this is not like I'm saying, well, I guess. Lifford Law. She still cares. She still hasn't moved on. She's not indifferent. And she wants the world to know that. I think apathy is the grandest form of indifference. And I think silence is a form of apathy. She's didn't even, uh, is not going to
Starting point is 00:12:49 comment on this because it was not something that left an impression. She didn't say four was bad. You know, if she was going to display some kind of animosity or negativity. No, she said four left crumbs. And I'm not entirely sure what that means. No, she said one, two, three, and five didn't leave crumbs. That means they ate. They ate it all. That means that four must have left a crumb. At least one crumb. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:13 So she did say it. But that means he's still eating, though. He might just need a little time. He just didn't eat as much, I guess. Yeah, no, it's not like a... Maybe the crumbs can be cleaned up at some guess. Yeah. So it's, yeah, no, it's not like a, maybe, maybe, maybe the crumbs can be cleaned up at some point. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:13:29 Some people have smaller appetites than others and eat at different paces. But I'm just, do you think she was under the influence of either a friend or a substance? Yes. She and Rachel were like chugging wine and they were like. They were wine chugging. She was like, she typed it in. She passed it to Rachel and went, I can't, I can't. And Rachel was like, boomging wine and they were like, they were wine chugging. She was like, she typed it in. She passed it to Rachel and went, I can't,
Starting point is 00:13:46 I can't. And Rachel was like, boom. Yeah. Yeah. That's probably what happened. And then the thought, I can't delete it now because the world's seen it.
Starting point is 00:13:54 Can't be a Jason Tartt. I can take it down. When's the last time you did that? Like on social media where you had a like, Oh, can I like, where you're like, am I allowed to do this?
Starting point is 00:14:00 And then you realize no one can stop you and then you do it. Nothing comes to mind. Yeah. I can't think of anything right now i haven't but a friend of mine because i was asking my friend about an ex of mine and i was like what's he up to and she was like i have no idea he blocked me and i was like why would he possibly block you and she's like because i was drunk one time and he posted with his new girlfriend and i commented like can't do better than ally or like nice try and she got blocked wow friendship i mean there are a couple things i've posted or i'm like well let's see what the hell this does but you know like throw
Starting point is 00:14:32 that one out but like nothing so like this was a bad idea that's just michelle being like yeah i'm still not over it i don't know yeah well it. You know, everyone's going to screenshot it and comment on it and like it's there. But of all the things that you could say, yeah, like I'm not over it. Wouldn't want to,
Starting point is 00:14:51 wouldn't want to be something I'd want to put out there. But what an interesting way to do it too. Yeah. Like, would you comment about an ex that you saw randomly online?
Starting point is 00:14:58 No. Imagine, yeah, imagine like, you know, Natalie and I broke up or he, what's your girlfriend's name?
Starting point is 00:15:04 Mariah. Mariah. Like Natalie or Mariah posted a bunch of their girlfriends and you're like, you know, Natalie and I broke up or he, what's your girlfriend's name? Mariah. Mariah. Like Natalie or Mariah posted a bunch of their girlfriends and you're like, one, two, three, and five. And I'm like, these women are slang except for her. She sucks. You know, like. Natalie, you left so many crumbs.
Starting point is 00:15:18 Could you imagine? That is pretty wild. Anyway, thanks for the. So the question is, what would have been been a better like more like kind of like playful comment don't say anything literally nothing do not say anything
Starting point is 00:15:28 literally nothing yeah she should have liked it if she was going to comment though what's our timeline here what do you mean when did they break up when they broke up
Starting point is 00:15:36 like is this like a month ago a few years a few months ago yeah okay because they went to like Wango Tango and stuff and that was around their breaking point
Starting point is 00:15:42 so like they broke up in the summer yeah June six months it's been a good six months got it yeah it's not that fresh Because they went to like Wango Tango and stuff and that was around their breaking point. So like they broke up in the summer. June 2022. Six months. It's been a good six months. It's not that fresh. What could she have done? She could have just been
Starting point is 00:15:52 supportive of all of them. Like just been like killing it. You know what I mean? Like don't make it about Nate. What a fun group. Do a flame emoji or something. Like don't single him out.
Starting point is 00:16:01 Yeah. In fact, if she would have been like everyone's killing it, that would have been like classy classy indifferent you know moved on and i'm over it she went the opposite approach yeah if i were to be her lawyer i would say going back to that the only way i think you can your first your first defense is terrible it's not great it's not first of all behind closed doors i'd be like please help me out i want to do a good job for you and you're making it difficult but it could be seen as maybe like It's not great. First of all, behind closed doors, I'd be like, please help me out.
Starting point is 00:16:27 I want to do a good job for you and you're making it difficult. But it could be seen as maybe like a little playful, like one, two, three, and five can get it. Like kind of like a little joking. Because Michelle is someone who, as much as she is like the most composed, like has her shit together woman on the world, she's also like she's got got a sassy side to her. So it could be seen as maybe a more fun, sassy comment. Fun. Sassy. Okay.
Starting point is 00:16:53 I wouldn't hire you as my lawyer. Is it flirtatious? Does she want him back? Yes. It's the only thing I can think of. She's not moved on. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:05 Hold on to your kilts, dearies. Peacock original The Traitors is back with a new season of strategy, betrayal, sabotage, and murder. This killer season features an all-new celebrity cast that Vulture hailed as reality royalty, living in a Scottish castle for the ultimate murder mystery competition. We're talking fierce competitors, reality stars, and public figures battling it out for a whopping cash prize. This season's cutthroat missions are next level, just like whatever Alan Cumming pulls out of his brilliantly eccentric wardrobe. One thing is for sure, these 21 players will do anything to avoid a plot in Alan's graveyard. Find out why critics and audiences alike are raving about the Emmy award-winning series. The New York Times is calling it a murder mystery with clothes to die for and vox adding that it should be your new
Starting point is 00:17:49 reality tv obsession we are certainly obsessed stream every episode of traders now only on peacock ladies and gentlemen what are you doing what do you mean i'm making keep it simple i'm making the promo just keep it simple just say hey we're the. Just keep it simple. Just say, hey, we're the Brav Bros. Two guys that talk about Bravo. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, we're the Brav Bros. No. Oh. Dude, stop with the voice.
Starting point is 00:18:14 Just keep it simple. I've seen promos on TV, dude. This is how you get the fans engaged. This is how you get listeners. We're trying to get listeners here. If we just say, oh, we're two dudes that talk about Bravo, people are going to get tired of it already. We need some oomph.
Starting point is 00:18:26 All right, then fine. Let's try to do it with your voice. Bravo, bros. Good job. Not indifferent. If your new year's goal are to manage your budget better and save money, you need Rocket Money. Say goodbye to last year's outdated,
Starting point is 00:18:43 disorganized methods of managing your money and say hello to Rocket Money. Better way to hack your finances in 2023. Rocket Money, formerly known as Truebill, is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. Over 80% of people have subscriptions they've forgotten about. 80%. I am definitely in that 80. Like that streaming service that you bought to watch just one show or that free trial that you never used. That's how they get you. It's the free trial and then you forget to unsubscribe. Yeah. If you're any one of those people, that's all you need to know to justify getting Rocket
Starting point is 00:19:21 Money. Rocket Money will quickly and easily identify your subscriptions for you so you can stop paying for the ones that you don't want. Over 3 million people have used Rocket Money, saving the average up to $720. The average person, they save $720 a year. That's so much money. Think of what you could do with $720. I bet I'm going to save thousands. Stop throwing away your money, cancel unwanted subscriptions, and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash V-I-A-L-L. That's rocketmoney.com slash V-I-A-L-L, rocketmoney.com slash V-I-A-L-L. I go to the doctor and every year she tells me I'm vitamin D deficient. Aren't we all? I'm ready to change that.
Starting point is 00:20:09 And so whether you are vitamin D deficient or whether you're just trying to make sure you're taking care of your health, getting the vitamins, like think about how much effort it is to change, like to try to eat more like nutritious foods. Like it's a lot of energy to change your eating habits. You can
Starting point is 00:20:23 get some really high quality nutrients, vitamins, stuff your body needs by just taking a little pill. Easy piece. Easy piece. So Careof is a subscription service that ships high quality personalized vitamins, supplements, and powders conveniently to your door every single month. There's nothing easier. It just shows up. As Amanda said, it's too difficult to change anything else. So just have this show up at your door. And maybe your doctor has told you you are vitamin D deficient. If you're like Amanda, send your vitamin D to your door. It'll be there. Or if you don't know exactly like what you could benefit from, then there's a quiz online. Easy peas. Do the quiz. Get a personalized doctor-backed
Starting point is 00:20:59 recommendation. So that way the guesswork is eliminated from figuring out what supplements are best for you. Also, it's nice because they ship them in individualized daily packs. So it's a great way. Let's say you're like taking a trip or you're going somewhere on the weekend. Just grab a pack for every day you're going to be gone. No more like putting it into little travel containers and trying to figure out if you have enough. Just grab it. Their website is Gorgie, very aesthetically pleasing, easy to navigate. You'll figure out what you need very quick. We love a good aesthetically pleasing website. For 50% off your first Care of order, go to takecareof.com and enter
Starting point is 00:21:30 code V-I-A-L-L-5-0. That's V-I-A-L-L-50. Once again, for 50% off your first Care of order, go to takecareof.com and enter code V-I-A-L-L-50. Final thing, just because I thought it was fun of like when reality TV worlds collide.
Starting point is 00:21:47 So Cole from Love is Blind went on another podcast and they had kind of this game where they did like calls, like kind of quick rapid fire dates, but like audio, like they had people call in. And one of the people who called in was Susie from Clayton season. Susie from Clayton season and they had this little like back and forth and he clearly was very into her and said at the end of the call that she should slide into his DMs like when they got off the call she never did that and then she ended up already
Starting point is 00:22:13 she already had it like pre-booked she flew to Dallas to help Zenub shoot content so she literally was like full team Zenub is she full team Zenub or is she just maybe not full team Zenub but she did not slide Zenub or is she just... Maybe not full team Zenub, but she did not slide in. Susie's Sweden. Do you mean Switzerland?
Starting point is 00:22:30 Well, I guess also. Switzerland. I mean Switzerland. Both very peaceful countries. That was stupid of me. Very close. Very. It was cold. A lot of snow there. Both start with S's. Yeah. Sansonite. I was like, oh. I don't think Susie has a side.
Starting point is 00:22:46 I don't think, I think my guess is. She already had the shoot book. She's in the biz. And Zena, you know. I just thought it was a funny little clinky dink. Also, I know that we talked about the fact that Chris Harrison is coming out with his podcast, like the most dramatic podcast ever. Rachel Lindsay said that she will not go on Chris Harrison's podcast.
Starting point is 00:23:06 I don't believe they've spoken since that interview. They've unfollowed each other, all that good stuff. But she did say... Where did she say this? On her podcast?
Starting point is 00:23:12 Yes. She did say that if Chris wanted to come on her podcast, she would be down to talk. Yeah, I would imagine. So I think she just wants it on her terms.
Starting point is 00:23:20 She wants the ball in her court. Yeah, exactly. She wants the downloads, right? Yeah. I think, well, because I think they should both come on this terms. She wants the ball in her court. Yeah, exactly. She wants the downloads, right? I think, well, because I think they should both come on this podcast. Sweden.
Starting point is 00:23:31 We are Sweden. Switzerland. Yeah. And we can have a discussion on this podcast. That'd be great. That's the solution. That's the most dramatic podcast ever. There we go. I think Chris will go on Rachel's podcast. That'd be great. Yeah. That's the solution. That's the most dramatic podcast ever. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:45 There we go. Do I think Chris will go on Rachel's podcast? I don't think so. No, I don't. Now that he has his own, I don't see why he would. No, I don't. I think they both want the control and the editing power in their own camps. I don't know if it's the editing power as much as the… You think it's just straight engagement?
Starting point is 00:24:05 Straight engagement. Wow. Right? No? think it's just straight engagement? Straight engagement. Wow. Right? No? No, I just didn't think about that. Well, I don't think either of them are going to have the other person in and then edit it to be something that it's not. I don't think either of them are shady in that department. I just think it's just like, well, if I'm going to do this thing that,
Starting point is 00:24:22 quite honestly, I'd rather not do but I know people are interested in it I might as well get the revenue I want the downloads yeah fascinating I guess time will tell come to Sweden if I bought a Swedish flag
Starting point is 00:24:39 could we just hang it up as a joke I can't wait to have half the people will be like guys it's not sweden stupid you're so dumb uh all right well that does it for uh our bachelor he thinks he thinks for absolutely participating you know i just wanted to bring the insight and uh it was really do you have any new year's resolutions anything you're working on any passion projects anything that you're like hey i need to do cleanse
Starting point is 00:25:05 how do you spend your days other than like figuring out what your world is yeah uh probably probably to get back into the the shape that i was in i need to get back into the gym every day i felt way better when i was working out every day and um you had a health journey yeah i just felt way better about myself mentally and physically. So definitely getting back into the gym for the new year. And then probably spending less time on my phone
Starting point is 00:25:34 and reading more and getting outside more. Okay. I like to go on walks and just kind of be in my head. Just getting more sun. More vitamin D? Yeah. That's getting more sun. More vitamin D. Yeah. That's your goal.
Starting point is 00:25:46 Nothing too crazy. I'd like to get off my phone more too. Maybe Dr. Maya can help us figure it out. I do feel like it would take a White House level behavioral psychologist to break that habit because it's an essential part of your world. Of course, she does work for Google. Maybe she doesn't want to give us you know the notes on that we want you on the phone i don't know oh anyway so knowing new year's resolutions other than that yeah probably just that and then are you a big new year
Starting point is 00:26:17 new year's resolution guy like do you really even i to me i've always seen resolutions as like instead of doing something more of a not doing something if that makes sense so i used to always have a resolution to be like i need to quit smoking cigarettes or i need to quit this or quit something bad in my life not necessarily like oh i need to do this it's almost like a reminder of all your bad habits yeah it's almost like a quit the bad shit. Yeah. Because very few people actually do the resolutions. Right. But they do talk about them.
Starting point is 00:26:49 I feel like it's easier to stop doing something than to start something new. Probably. Yeah, probably. To me, I think it just seems easier to quit a habit than to start a habit. I wonder if, I bet Dr. Maya would know. Let's get Maya in.
Starting point is 00:27:10 Can you come in early? quit a habit than to start a habit i wonder if i bet dr maya let's get my end yeah can you come in early and you're trying to start what you're trying to get back into the gym yeah so i'm trying to start a habit again start walking yeah more but you've already done these things yeah but i kind of like fell off and you know i just need to i guess live a healthier life i need to eat better better. Just treat my body right. I feel like I haven't been. I did not treat my body right over the holidays. It's so hard. I ate so much sugar. It was brutal.
Starting point is 00:27:35 My body was not good. Do you guys have any resolutions? No. Choose violence. Who's my joking resolution? Whatever people ask. I have a have any resolutions? No. No, nothing. Choose violence. No, I'm perfect. Who's my joking resolution? Whatever people ask. I have a lot of goals and things, you know, I'm excited about and excited for this year.
Starting point is 00:27:52 But there's not like a... That's that one I need. I need to start doing that. I mean, definitely as I got home, I was like, I need to like not eat so much sugar. Yeah. And that was mostly like, that's a constant goal. That's a constant journey that I'm on to minimize my sugar intake. It's so hard.
Starting point is 00:28:08 Yeah. I have a sweet tooth and it's just not good for my... What's your go-to when you're like... Just anything. Real sweet. Like candies, chocolates? Well, yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:17 All of the above. Okay, got it. It's not good. I like it all. It's great. So you like are... Because my assistant is like actually has
Starting point is 00:28:26 an addiction to candy I believe I would do I do and he I would identify he would like sneak out to go buy like a bag of Skittles
Starting point is 00:28:35 at a gas station and like hide them oh I won't hide them like he's who's he hiding him from
Starting point is 00:28:42 I partially me partially himself the world but yeah he'll like go into the bathroom with uh those sweet and sour my mouth is salivating right now but yeah he like actually has like an addiction i i believe yeah i think sugar is very addicting what's weird though is like i don't crave sweets but as soon as i start i literally cannot stop until i'm about to throw up yeah i don't crave them i probably could smoke less weed does that contribute to the sweet snack it doesn't help
Starting point is 00:29:12 for sure yeah that's that when i'm like when i'm busting out the peanut butter jar with a spoon yeah i'm putting chocolate chips on it i realize realize stuff like that goes hand in hand though. Like I used to have a really, really bad monster energy addiction. Really? That's bad. So I was getting one every single day. So my routine, this was like a few years ago, I would go to the gas station, I'd buy a pack of cigarettes, and I'd have an energy drink. And they would just both together. It would have to be smoking while...
Starting point is 00:29:46 You had a pack of cigarettes and a monster energy drink every day? Breakfast of Champions. And you're still here? Yeah, I made it through. Wow. And then once I quit smoking cigarettes, I stopped the energy drink. Wow. Because it was like, I didn't want just the energy drink.
Starting point is 00:30:00 Do you feel a lot better? You must feel... Oh my God. I used to be a totally different person. Wow. How did you drink it? And I didn't want just a cigarette. You must feel... Oh my God. I used to be a totally different person. How did you quit smoking? Because I feel like that's such a challenge and it's so impressive to do. It is.
Starting point is 00:30:11 It's definitely the hardest thing that I've ever like struggled with was quitting that. And I used to do like other shit, but... Do you still have an urge sometimes when you see people smoking? I think there'll always be some sort of attraction to smoking cigarettes. Not that I'll there'll always be some sort of attraction to smoking
Starting point is 00:30:25 cigarettes. Not that I'll see it and be like, man, God, it like eats me up. I want that. But I just think I just missed the occasion of smoking. Like, hey, do you want to go outside? Let's have a cigarette. And it was like a means to communicate or, you know, connect with somebody better. And it was also like, it was my alone time. It was my, it was everything. So I think I miss, like if cigarettes were healthy and it wasn't bad, like I miss the activity of doing it.
Starting point is 00:30:52 Maybe almost four years ago. So you were still in a relationship. Yeah. You were smoking and drinking Red Bull. I was chain smoking cigarettes when I met Mariah. And how would she feel about that? Like she's a professional dancer?
Starting point is 00:31:05 Yeah. Very, very healthy. She didn't like it. But it wasn't necessarily her being like, you have to stop this? No. So she obviously made it clear she didn't like that I did it. Not that it bothered her, but she just cared about me and didn't want to see me doing these things. So she was like, listen, I'm not going to tell you to stop doing this, i care about you and i care about your health and this is just how i feel and i respected
Starting point is 00:31:30 that more than her being like you have to do you need to stop you're not allowed to if you want to date me yeah and it was never any pressure like that um she was just like i really i really love you a lot i'd love for you to take better care of yourself type of thing. And like that made me want to better myself. Shame is always better than than. I'm not mad I'm just disappointed. Really? Yeah guilt. Guilt and shame. Very powerful. Yeah and then I just like
Starting point is 00:31:55 always smelled it was just like that cigarette stink my fingers were yellow it was oh god I'm so glad I stopped. Well good for you man thanks it was tough though i know um if anybody out there struggling trying to quit you really really really gotta hold yourself accountable your mind will do like some crazy things to convince yourself like i should just have one more cigarette and just like telling your mind to shut up and having the power over
Starting point is 00:32:19 your own like thoughts is uh it's really rewarding at the end. It must be. Was there a point you ever thought you could never get over it? Oh my god, yeah. The whole time while trying to quit, I thought I wouldn't get over it. That's awesome. It's a very rewarding thing to do. Congratulations, man.
Starting point is 00:32:39 Thanks. I appreciate that. All that other, you didn't know what you're doing with your life. You quit smoking. All your energy has been going into quitting smoking and staying off the smoke. That's right. It's just my constant thoughts all day. What do you think about cigarettes? That's why you don't watch TV because there's people smoking on it. Yeah. I used to smoke cigarettes when I watched TV. So like, it's just a constant reminder of. All right, Amanda. I figured we've been offline for a couple of weeks.
Starting point is 00:33:07 There's a lot of stories we haven't been talking about, things that have happened. And let's just kind of rapid fire go through them, if you will. Absolutely. Well, I think topical for starters, on New Year's Eve,
Starting point is 00:33:18 a big topic of conversation was drinking and whether or not it should exist on the broadcast. Specifically, Andy Cohen was a real subject of this conversation after saying Ryan Seacrest's group of losers last year. And people speculated he had a little bit too much to drink. In 2020, Don Lemon revealed a tattoo on air. I love it. I live for the chaos.
Starting point is 00:33:43 Don Lemon revealed a tattoo last year. What was the tattoo? I think it was in 2020 and it said Don Lemon 2020. That was his tattoo? Yeah, that was the thing that was revealed on air. I don't know if he just did a really elaborate job of faking it
Starting point is 00:33:59 but I did see a clip where he looked pretty sauced. And I'm curious, after Lemon unfolded the band of his arm, Baldwin saw hashtag Lemon 2020 inked on there. There's a hashtag. Don Lemon has a hashtag 2020. Good for him. Okay.
Starting point is 00:34:16 Well, that's my question, which is, do we like to see, like, these, like, kind of more serious news reporter figures, like, a little sauced to have a little fun out here? Yes, of course we do. I also get why maybe CNN put the kibosh on it.
Starting point is 00:34:31 I think Anderson Cooper said it best for any offended New York state officials last year. Maybe that was why. I like the people that shouldn't be drinking in a certain scenario that are and like you like speculate it like you're not like a hundred percent sure but you're like they seem like they're a little bit sauced yeah it's fun to see people's weird side yeah
Starting point is 00:34:58 yeah i love it you get to see them like not what they're like used to be like being seen as on tv i like it i didn't watch any of it this year but it sounds like they were still having fun and being goofy and and uh one thing is speaking of the people that andy cohen offended he did jokingly call anderson cooper a little nepo baby because anderson cooper is related to the vanderbilt family of the railroads and that year of u.S. history and grade school where you learned about them. And I feel like Nepo Baby was a huge topic of conversation over the break after a New York Magazine's cover featuring...
Starting point is 00:35:33 You didn't see that? Oh, we're good at that. Oh, boy. Do you read? That was on my list of things to do. That's right. I forgot. 2023, not just here in a corner.
Starting point is 00:35:43 Two days into this thing, man. Slow start. What do you say you do here? So anyways, yeah, Nepo babies. Enlightened for the people who are like you. Yeah, so the conversation, Nepo baby is a term that's been thrown around a lot on Twitter. I know like nepotism, like obviously.
Starting point is 00:36:00 Yeah, should we define it for you? Okay, I did look up a definition. Okay. The word nepotism derives from Latin and was first used to describe the Catholic Church's practice of allowing popes to appoint their nephews, in brackets, who are often illegitimate children, to the College of Cardinals. And in modern term, it's basically the idea of someone getting a role or position, power, privilege, etc. Based off of familial ties, not necessarily merit alone. And so it's been a huge topic of conversation, particularly as it relates to Hollywood stars.
Starting point is 00:36:34 There was a cover of New York Magazine, the tagline is of which she has her mother's eyes, an agent, and it features a lot of infants with some famous nepotism babies heads on the cover for example Dakota Johnson, Maude Apatow, Lily Rose Depp and so I'm curious like do people
Starting point is 00:36:54 have any like initial takes? Yeah Ben Platt You look very similar to him by the way I think you guys Can we put a cast on you and have you sing waiting through a window i mean i've seen him in person i've met him i don't think i'll get any i don't know something just like it could be like a brother sure yeah we have curly hair and we're white i don't know
Starting point is 00:37:15 there's something about it okay i'll take it i feel like very few people come forward and say as the take of being pro nepo baby but it seems like there's kind of a spectrum. I'm pro-Nepo baby. Explain your side, Nicholas. No, but finish your thought. I was just going to say, but it seems like there's a spectrum in terms of how much people despise nepotism babies,
Starting point is 00:37:37 but it seems like we have an even fuller spectrum to discuss. I'm pro-Nepo baby. Okay, I've decided. Yeah. I just think that- Say more. I thought that article was fairly ridiculous. I just, here's what I think. I think if you read articles like that and you think to yourself, that's why I didn't make it or that's why I don't have what I want or that's.
Starting point is 00:38:01 Then I just think you're. Victim mentality. You don't have it. You know, you just don't have what it takes in general. I don't know whatever that is. It's like making an excuse. Yeah. You know, I just, that's just my mindset, you know, whether it's my sales background or not. Like for example, when I used to be in sales, right? Like, you know, you'd, you have territories and your manager would give you territories and like some territories were thought to be better than
Starting point is 00:38:23 others. And I guess if you, you know, some, you know, you territories and like some territories were thought to be better than others and i guess if you you know some you know you could debate whether some territories were better than others but at the end of the day like the the people who worked the hardest and the people who had the most talent yeah they always went out and like there were always situations where like sometimes based on the job like sometimes like you'd literally you could call 100 people get 100 no's and then the next day someone calls up and be like i want to buy a bunch of shit you know and it just like would work out that way and it would just kind of always happen but when that would happen to certain people you know when someone would call you know they'd call up and be like
Starting point is 00:38:56 oh this is they just have the you know they just made an excuse because like oh their manager loves it was basically their version of nepotism it was like oh they're friends with their manager the manager likes them more than me and blah blah blah so like whatever and i just i just think like ben platt at sweden super talented yeah like the man i've i've seen him sing and live he's that's talent i'm sorry like, I understand there's a lot of talented people out there who don't have the access that maybe Ben Platt has. And there's a lot of talented people who haven't been discovered. And I hope they figure out a way to be discovered. But I just don't think we should spend a bunch of energy trying to like put a light on and out people just because of who their parents are. I do truly believe there's a lot of famous kids. There's a lot of celebrities with kids who wanted to make it who haven't made it.
Starting point is 00:39:54 And I just don't think at the end of the day, they're going to all there. Like, it's a tough industry out there. And if you don't have a talent, I just don't think you're going to make it. And yeah, if you have parents who are, you know, have celebrity and have the agents and have the money, it certainly helps. And it might be a big reason why they got the nod over, you know, their competitors, but they're also good. And I just think spending a lot of energy and outing people and making them feel like the only reason they are where they're at is because of who their parents are and not focus on what they
Starting point is 00:40:30 had to accomplish and the work they put into. I just don't, I hate the mentality. So in the sense of, am I pro-Nepo baby? Like 100%, you know, just because I just hate the idea of people wasting their energy, trying to think of reasons why, you know, they didn't make it over someone else who did. There's also nepotism in everything. Like I have friends who are, you know, firefighters that aren't getting a spot because, you know, they're hiring another family. So it's like, it's every aspect of life. There's going to be some sort of playing favorites or nepotism when it comes to a career path. So it's like, if you look at, you know, acting or modeling or whatever it is that people see on TV, yes, it's a very sought after, I guess,
Starting point is 00:41:19 position to be in, but it's every aspect of life, if that makes sense. No, totally. I just think, I can think of every step of my life, any goal I'm trying to accomplish, any room I was trying to get in, any club, whatever job I was trying to get, every step of the way, I felt I had to overcome certain obstacles. I had to overcome disadvantages. I also had plenty of privilege. I had plenty of opportunities. I, you know, I've plenty of blessings, all those things. But I also vividly remember certain opportunities where I thought to myself internally, that sucks, that's not fair. Or I knew I had to work harder because of X, Y, or Z. And I just focused on that rather than, you know, make excuses for why I had certain obstacles.
Starting point is 00:42:06 To your point, I think everything we do, there are always going to be obstacles. There are always going to be things that aren't fair. The playing field isn't fair wherever we go. And so we can recognize disadvantages and we can recognize our own privileges in life, but I just don't think wasting our energy outing people and mocking them and putting them on the cover of a magazine and implying that somehow they don't deserve, they don't deserve whatever accolades or work. I just don't, I don't see the overall good that's bringing or the benefit. That's how I think. I think there is something to the idea of at least acknowledging it. I think you're right that there's like mocking is cruel,
Starting point is 00:42:51 cruel. And also I think we should probably blame institutions who are giving these opportunities to nepo babies than the people who happen to be nepo babies. But I will say, I do think there is something worth acknowledging because I think that was one of the things I was most struck by in Hollywood was seeing how much it is an industry of connections and those connections also exist beyond just straight up. Life is an industry of connections.
Starting point is 00:43:12 I also think with like the acting industry, it's so hard to even like figure out. Like I just remember being a kid being like, okay, how do I get representation? How do I get these roles? And to your point, like it doesn't matter what industry you're in. If you have someone who's in it who can like and to your point like it doesn't matter what industry you're in if you have someone who's in it who can like explain it to you it's so much more helpful
Starting point is 00:43:27 but I'm like I didn't have a single person to like help me figure that out so I'm like I probably wasted years trying to like just figure out what the right steps were
Starting point is 00:43:35 as opposed to if I had someone in my family who was in the same industry to be like okay so you do this and then you do that and we need to get you these headshots
Starting point is 00:43:41 and blah blah blah yeah as someone who like you my parents don't know anything about hollywood or yeah same or you know i might you know when it comes to things i'm most grateful for or things that i have have brought me ahead in life the two things one my my my parents and my family dynamic i think I'm the most grateful for that it has set me up for success. And two, the fact that I'm 6'2". Yeah, that's nice. It must be nice.
Starting point is 00:44:10 Honestly. Truly, I think being 6'2 has opened up a lot of doors for me. But I also, as someone who, like you, am I proud of the fact that when, you know, when I accomplish a goal, I can reflect back and realize what obstacles I had overcome. I can reflect back and think I didn't have certain advantages that other people I competed against did, and I still achieved this goal and I can be proud of that. And I think that's awesome to, you know, from your standpoint, individually, maybe recognize the things that you're most proud of or what you had to overcome overcome or maybe disadvantages that you still overcame to be people with advantages. I think that's great to have a sense of personal pride, but I don't think we need to be like
Starting point is 00:44:53 this idea that we're outing people or what do we need to recognize it for to like, just so you know, this person was a nepo baby. Politics is another, like, look at the Kennedys there. We have these like the Bushes, like we have these political dynasty families that i could see people getting more upset about like i i see like you know what i mean yeah i have a more yes i definitely don't want uh like a family dynasty in our in our political right they're there and sure but to your point i have more of a problem with that than Hollywood for sure. But I just think the world is about who you know.
Starting point is 00:45:30 It is about connection. So make connections with people. Get to know people. Build families and friends and people and network and do the things that you have to do to overcome the fact that you weren't born to a celebrity. You know, I also feel like there's way more people that struggled and hustled and got there on their own and built themselves a name way more than there is a Nepo baby. Yeah, for sure.
Starting point is 00:45:58 I just it sounds like there's been a rise. There's I think maybe now more than ever was like kind of the point of the article that there seems to be a lot i don't know but yes i mean i think if you're looking at every you know actor or musical artist or celebrity out there like a vast majority are people who aren't but then like also you build a name for yourself and then you have a kid it's like are you not like yeah yeah you know what i mean and then you don't you're not gonna help your own like it's just of course you want to help it's great yeah like what is the what is the crime here you know like wanting the best for your children and trying and having you know setting them up for success and i really just don't believe there's any bad actors and talentless celebrities out there that have famous parents and i'm sure people might be
Starting point is 00:46:46 like you can't i'm sorry you just you have to be yeah people would you would not get you might not be a fan of them but someone is because they're like if they have a fan base and they have a following they're they're doing something right you know call it you know say what you want more kardashians but like or you know like if you're if you have an audience what you want about Kardashians, but like, or, you know, like if you're, if you have an audience and you are getting jobs and you're getting more like what getting one off, getting one job, fine. That might be like, I don't know how this person got this job, but if you have built a career in this industry, I just, I'm like that, that requires talent. Well, and the thing is too, it's like, okay, so let's say their parents knew the agents or the casting directors or whatever and got them in the door.
Starting point is 00:47:27 You still, at some point, especially when you're building your career, you got to audition. You can't just show up on set and have the part already. You've got to be approved. Right. You have to have some sort of talent. Also, some of these people's parents were pretty talented. This is probably why they got to be famous. I have a lot of friends whose parents are big celebrities.
Starting point is 00:47:52 It's just amazing. I go to karaoke with these people. I'm like, holy shit. And also, things like that are passed down. Yeah, they're just dripping with talent. Like LeBron's son. It's like you can't like the guy can play basketball you know what i mean like it probably runs in the family
Starting point is 00:48:09 you know what i mean i i just think it's such a i do i think it's a loser mentality i well if you are reading this article and thinking yeah that's why i yeah that's why i didn't make it's why to make it it's a loser I didn't say you're a loser, but you have a loser mentality. It's the same people I was working with. I was just like, you will never make it to President's Club. You will never, you're never going to be good at your job
Starting point is 00:48:35 because you're always, every time someone else has success, you're looking for reasons to discredit their success rather than maybe going to them and saying hey man that was like congratulations that was really cool is there like what did you do like how did is there anything you could pass down to me is there any like tricks that you and maybe there's nothing they but like you could leave it's it's about your mentality and i just think if you're going to have the mentality of of like just critiquing and and discouraging what they did i think you
Starting point is 00:49:03 have a loser mentality and you will never be a winner. I just had a flashback to when I was a child and I was trying to figure out how to break into the acting world and I didn't know what to do. I was wondering why you were just laughing. And I sent, no, I forgot I did this until just now. I sent Selena Gomez a letter
Starting point is 00:49:17 asking her advice of how to break into the acting industry. Love that, love that. Do you still have the letter? Please help me, Selena. No, I sent it in the mail. That's amazing have the letter? Please help me, Selena. No, I sent it in the mail. That's amazing. She never got back to me, but that's okay. That's fine.
Starting point is 00:49:30 That's a winner mentality, Allie. Thanks. I do think it is. Well, okay. One is that I think a lot of the people who complain most about nepotism babies are people who have a ton of privilege, just not in that specific regard. Like, I think, you know, as much as like, of course, having a parent in the industry is like a next level connection. Like I got to go to Northwestern. That is not something that very many people have
Starting point is 00:49:53 the opportunity to do the alumni network that then let me like hear about this job listing. So I will say that, like, I think to make it out to be a black and white issue where it's only people who have the famous parents are benefiting or like having a different like starting point. Like, you know, there's the whole, like they were born on third base and now they're acting like they hit a
Starting point is 00:50:10 home run. A lot of people were saying that we're born on second base. So I think I will say in that regard, I totally agree with you, but I do think like, I think you're downplaying how significant like the influence of parents are in this like filmmaking age and how can we say i think we're just putting just fame on a pedestal like most people don't really want to be an actor
Starting point is 00:50:39 or an actress it's like i could have been very very grateful for nepotism if I had a parent that worked in my school and I was able to skate by with my grades and be like, oh yeah, I can skip class. I can do this. People at that time would have been like, oh my God, must be nice to have your dad be the principal or something. And it's like, there's always going to be, and then once you graduate school, it's like, okay, well, that doesn't matter to you anymore. You have no benefit over that, having him as your parent, unless you wanted to go, I guess, into being a teacher or something and working for that school.
Starting point is 00:51:16 But it's all specific to what your parents do, if that makes sense. I just don't care, you know, in terms of, if we're talking specifically Hollywood, I don't care. If we're talking specifically Hollywood, I don't care. I didn't know that Ben Platt was an Epobaby until it was on the article. What I do know is that when I saw him perform, I remember being like, holy shit, that guy's talented. That's amazing. I've seen him act. I've seen him sing. I know that less than 1% of the world, people are gifted to do what he does and where he got it. And, you know, and because I just, I just don't care. Yeah. It's a, it's a, it's already a privileged world in society, you know, in terms of Hollywood. And I just, I don't really care if, if someone is, whose parents are famous. I don't, you know, I don't, I didn't get into like when I moved out to Hollywood, I wasn't like, I hope it's fair. You know, that wasn't on my, you know, Nick on the plane looking out the window. I hope it's fair. When I was like thinking about like changing my life is in my early thirties and quitting a job
Starting point is 00:52:23 that I loved and like leaving my condo and moving into my buddy's spare bedroom and sleeping in an air mattress. I wasn't like, well, I'll only go if it's fair. But it's so easy to say that, I think, sitting from a place of success. What do you mean? I took a ton of risks. No, 100%. But I think it's very, I think it's very easy like knowing the way
Starting point is 00:52:46 things shook out. Well, I just know that I wasn't thinking about that when I did the, when I took the leap of faith. It couldn't have worked out. Because if he was thinking about,
Starting point is 00:52:56 and if it didn't work out, I would have been like, it's because my parents weren't famous. You know? I just would have been like, no, because this shit is really hard
Starting point is 00:53:03 and it takes a lot of work and a lot of fucking luck too. That's the biggest thing. So what I will say is like, from my experience is capitalizing on luck. Like if you, if something happens, you catch that. And then you're like, okay, this was something that was handed to me real quick. Like, what do I do with this now? And then be like, okay, now I got to do something. And then you'd like ride that wave until something else comes up. Like I wasn't even supposed to move out here. I was supposed to go to FSU and I was doing Vine at the time. Had my apartment picked, everything, classes ready to go. And like, oh, maybe a month, not even like a couple of weeks before I was getting ready to move to FSU, me and Zane were talking to each other. We're like,
Starting point is 00:53:42 should we just risk it all and just go to LA? We've got a little bit of a following on Vine. We know other people are out there. We can collab and try to do something. Or do we stay here and just... I was going to be a cop. That's what I was going to school for. I was like, let's just risk it. Let's just try it.
Starting point is 00:53:59 If it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. We come back, whatever. And then we came out here and... You weren't like, is LA fair? You know, like I just. And then it was just like, got lucky with that. Took a shot. Came out here. Things were working out.
Starting point is 00:54:15 Then they weren't. I lost all my money. I moved back to Florida for a few months. And like, like, Dan, this is, this is tough. And then I was like, you know what? Let me try one more time. I went back to LA and I spent everything I had on a camera and I was like, let me try vlogging. Let me just try something. And then that started to do well. And then vlogging died out. You pivot,
Starting point is 00:54:36 we did podcasts and it's just like, no, but I love it. I love what you said in terms of like, take advantage of the luck. Right. Because like we say on this show all the time, like shavings make a pile, right? Like you're going to have certain things where it's like, holy shit, I can't believe I'm here. Or I met this person. And then that moment, what do you do with that? Right. Do you, do you burn the connection? Do you make a bad impression? Do you, do you like, you know, when I first got into LA, I knew that like, I, a lot of executives were bachelor fans and I knew that I could get, a lot of executives were bachelor fans and I knew that I could get into a lot of rooms that other people like who had just moved to LA to become actors. Couldn't
Starting point is 00:55:10 like they, they couldn't get meetings with executive casting directors. They couldn't get meetings with executive casting director directors of major networks and studios, but I could. Right. And I knew that knew that they didn't want to meet me because they wanted to talk about my acting career. They wanted to talk about, or whatever, or my dreams in Hollywood. They just wanted to ask me stupid bachelor questions, but I was in the room. And I knew that. So I figured, what do I do with this, right? And I tried to take advantage of that and use that time. And so, yeah, there's other ways to get lucky. There's other ways to build your luck or open doors. And then
Starting point is 00:55:45 what do you do with that? So all these actors with famous parents, they definitely had advantages and luck and they were definitely privileged in a lot of ways. But if we're talking about all the people who have built their own careers and are successful actors and performers, they took advantage of their luck and they worked hard and they did something with that rather than waste it, you know, and we could say that about everyone. And I, you know, I just, um, there's a phrase that is, it says, um, luck is when preparation meets opportunity. And I like that because it's like you, there are opportunities, there are like things that have to occur, but you have to be ready for them and you have to
Starting point is 00:56:23 have laid the groundwork and be ready to take advantage of them. Yeah. Or waste them. But yeah, I just I just I hate that mentality of focusing on critiquing people's success just because you're disappointed in your outcome. I think there's a gray space, though, like in between acknowledging. Who did it bring up? All it does is bring people down like what purpose did it serve other than you know took the shine off of their accolades in a way other than like it was a it was juicy and it was like you know entertaining and like yeah we're talking about it sure sure. But like, you know, that's, yeah, I mean,
Starting point is 00:57:06 that is unfortunately journalism these days. Like, it's not serving a greater good and bringing awareness to our society. I guarantee you, though, out of all the celebrities and movie stars, whatever, that have had kids and the amount of kids that they've had, the percentage of them that went on to build their own career and become super successful
Starting point is 00:57:27 is very, very small. Think about how many famous people there are and actors out here that are doing this. And we can pick out enough to make a cover. I think we just care too much about other people's lives. I think we need to just worry about ourselves. Stay in your lane.
Starting point is 00:57:45 I think we worry too much about other people's lives. I think we need to just worry about ourselves. Stay in your lane. I think we worry too much about other people's success. Yeah. I don't know. I think that's why I don't really watch other things. I just don't care. Because then if I look at somebody else's story or this, I compare myself to it and I'm like... Comparison is a thief of joy.
Starting point is 00:58:01 Yeah, I don't need to do that. Focus on yourself. I think if you're doing your best every day to be the best version of yourself and you are trying your best to go out and succeed whatever field it's in, there is no excuses. Work hard and try. Life is unfair in every single industry
Starting point is 00:58:21 no matter what you're doing, any sort of route you want to take and you either try and roll with it and just do something or you make excuses like you said and you're like that's because that's that's another thing like if you go into something like that's why i'm i'm not successful that's why i didn't get the job that's why i didn't do this then you're never going to i literally got beat out out by Maude for a role. Like it's like it was a role like it was our demographic, our casting, like whatever. And I was like, oh, well, I mean, yeah, she has an advantage. But I also was like, she probably had a better audition. Like there's a lot of things that go into it. And I don't think
Starting point is 00:58:59 I was like, God, the nepo baby took my part. I just think there's a lot more productive ways to like invoke change and opportunity for the people of less privilege rather than trying to have parents not want to help their kids out you know i just like we're just i draw the line there of like like of making parents feel bad for wanting to set up their kids for success. There's also. And having kids not want to take advantage of the opportunity and feel the need to like expose them and let the world know, just so you know, they had advantages that you didn't have. I think there's just other more productive ways to invoke change that we need to, again, help people with less privilege.
Starting point is 00:59:42 And I just don't think nepotism is all that beneficial. Because there's so many variables at play that we just discussed. Of like, yeah. Like, what are we going to... I also think a lot of the times it's the audience and ourselves that are wanting to see these celebrity kids take these roles. It's like, we're like, we would rather have Judd Apatow's kid be a star in something than somebody we don't know. We're like, oh my God.
Starting point is 01:00:07 Than me. No one wanted to see me in that film. You know what I mean? Like, we want to see, oh my God, they can act now. That's a good point. Yeah. It's like the royal, like America, we've talked about royalsals recently but the royal family it's the whole family dynasty
Starting point is 01:00:28 and when it comes to celebrities have always been our royalty we're going to want to see Stormy be an actress or something Stormy maybe there is an interest in Angelina and Brad Pitt's kids more people will show up to watch that movie or do
Starting point is 01:00:43 than if it went to not there is a level of curiosity. Oh, I was I would say like to that point also like these children don't get to choose about whether or not to be thrown in the spotlight like Maude Apatow probably had her personal life invaded like ever since the day she was born because of her parents are and so I think there is also
Starting point is 01:00:59 a point of saying like it does come with like certainly some like very detrimental or just like you don't live a normal life. And part of that normalcy is in ways that I think are really challenging and horrific that you never consented to. And then part of those are in ways where like you get opportunities that other people might not get. I also just feel like especially like this industry, like smaller projects even that aren't like that official. Like I just remember auditioning for small things and they literally will pick people
Starting point is 01:01:26 with bigger Instagram followings in order to promote the project. Like there's always something. They ask you to send your Instagram handle. Like what does that have to do with my performance? Nothing. But it's business. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:36 And just like you said, like more people are going to see it or more people are interested. These people are making an investment into building a movie. They're spending x amount to make more than that at the end of the day they don't fucking care who the person is they don't it's like am i going to get a greater return on my investment at the end of the day yeah if not
Starting point is 01:01:56 then we're not going to do the movie yeah but i think i think just as a society we've become so obsessed with fame fame and these people like that it we like we all need we all have the right to become famous and be celebrities yeah i agree with you i just don't think in terms of like priorities of things we should focus our attention on yes for change i just don't think how do we make sure everyone has a fair chance to be famous is like just not on the top of my priority list i mean people might feel differently feel differently. I just, I don't see the point. And if you want to, you know, be a comedian or an actor or a singer
Starting point is 01:02:32 or a performer or just famous for nothing, like, go ahead and try and, like... But that's the thing, like... And I hope you make it, but, like... That's why it's a success story. Like, it's hard. If it was easy and, like, you you could everybody would just get what they wanted well an epitopism people would say well yeah it was easy for them and right but i i just think the cream rises me like i'm saying i am not i am not
Starting point is 01:02:58 as far on the spectrum as your opponents to the points that you are making i am somewhere in between where i'm saying it is a relevant data point that people should have access to and should not be swept under the rug. There's a difference between being swept under the rug and calling it out. I just think there's big problems out there that are way more important
Starting point is 01:03:15 that people should have their attention focused on. That should really keep them up at night rather than, you know what I mean? Yeah. Well, another person that a lot of people are focusing on is Celine Dion, who was left off Rolling Stone's 200 Best Singers list.
Starting point is 01:03:30 Twitter is outraged. I'm curious. That is absurd. I'm not a musical genius by any stretch. I don't know music very well, so I don't feel like I have a very intelligent take, but I know enough to know
Starting point is 01:03:45 that celine dion should definitely be should be on that list that like what was her qualifications and it wasn't like entertainer it was a straight singer greatest singers of all time who was number 200 that was that one spot ahead yeah who just so made that? Just so we could get a quick answer. It was a Nepo baby. How many Nepo babies were on this list? Sebastian, Yolan Sebastian, box kid.
Starting point is 01:04:12 Yeah. Bumped off, Celine. 200 was Rosalia. Who? People are wondering. You asked. Sorry,
Starting point is 01:04:20 I don't know if that was rude or not. I just actually don't. No, I just liked how fast you were. Who? Who? What? Yeah, I don't think it's going to or not. I just actually don't. No, I just liked how fast you were. Who? Who? What? Yeah, I don't think it's going to be 200.
Starting point is 01:04:28 Well, I mean, I'm sure they're all relevant. I'm guessing like Ariana Grande is on there. Now is this, are we going based off of strictly artists in the United States? Because it could be, you know, now we're competing with the rest of the world. It's all time, right? In the world? Yes. So the 200 greatest singers of all time.
Starting point is 01:04:45 Could be, you know, very successful in somewhere else. I'm sure she's quite good. Yeah. Good job, Rosalia. I'm sure they're all
Starting point is 01:04:50 very talented. Who else is on? Is Ariana Grande on there? Mariah Carey? Is Britney Spears on there? Takes a very long time to look. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:58 There's like a whole article for everybody. This is a detail. Yeah. I really did try. I was like, can we just get a list? Kelly Clarkson's on there.
Starting point is 01:05:04 No, you can't. Kelly Clarkson's on there. Frank Ocean. Billie Eilish was 198. So I think if we're thinking of like, you know, can we make a direct comparison between Celine Dion and SZA? Do people want to guess? Either guess who they think number one was or make a
Starting point is 01:05:19 case for someone who they think is the greatest singer of all time? Carrie Underwood is on there. 185. Celine Dion's not on there. Okay, we're trying to guess number one real quick. And now this is greatest singer or artist. They're going to have Whitney Houston be number one.
Starting point is 01:05:36 Whitney Houston, number one. She's top 10. I'm guessing. Taylor Swift is 102. Elton John is 100. He's right in the middle. Wow. Okay. Number one. 102. Elton John is 100. He's right in the middle. Wow. Okay. Number one. Hmm.
Starting point is 01:05:49 That is so tough. Tupac. Is Shakira on the list? She's got a great voice. Where do you guys think Rihanna lands? Just like a stat. Between 100 to 200. Oh, interesting.
Starting point is 01:06:04 She's 68 how is this based on how big is the panel I think it's literally just Rolling Stone if you want I can read Rihanna has an amazing voice but I feel like I see her
Starting point is 01:06:19 like Rihanna I feel like it's everything that she does makes her her music, her lyrics like it's everything that she does makes her. Right. Her music, her lyrics, her performance, everything she does. And her voice too. But like, yeah, I just, I guess I've never heard her like sing like a solo, like acapella, like where it's just like Alicia Keys.
Starting point is 01:06:42 Like I think of Alicia Keys. Great voice. You think of voice.. Great voice. You think of a voice. She's on there. So this list was compiled by our, meaning Rolling Stone, key staff and contributors. It encompasses 100 years of pop music as an ongoing global conversation
Starting point is 01:06:57 where iconic Indian playback singer Lata Mangashar lands between Amy Winehouse and Johnny Cash and salsa queen Celia Cruz is up there in the rankings with Prince and Marvin Gaye. So that's their little spiel. I'm putting Michael Jackson number one. It is. Do you guys want a clue?
Starting point is 01:07:14 You can just tell us. Okay. I was going to be like, you have to respect this person because it's Aretha Franklin, which I feel like nobody can be mad about. Whitney Houston was two. Adele was 22. I was close. Adele was 22. I was close. Wow. Adele was 22? Mm-hmm. How?
Starting point is 01:07:29 How? I didn't make the list, Nick. Because Adele can sing. Billie Holiday was four. Mariah Carey was five. Billie Holiday? Uh, okay. Stevie Wonder is seven.
Starting point is 01:07:39 Beyonce is eight. Beyonce was eight. I was going to say, she's got to be up there. Beyonce, amazing. I love Beyonce. love everything about Beyonce but Adele over behind
Starting point is 01:07:48 20 spots or 10 spots behind Beyonce I don't know Mariah Carey was number 5 the greatest Christmas herself
Starting point is 01:07:56 where's Ariana Grande Mariah Carey has an amazing voice yeah her range is pretty insane but Beyonce over Adele Ariana Grande
Starting point is 01:08:03 is 43 that seems wrong. She hits notes that are like impossible to hit. Yeah. I don't know. There's some bias
Starting point is 01:08:10 on this list. I don't know what the biased is. But like but there's bias. Like Why are you putting a D at the end of that?
Starting point is 01:08:19 I don't know. Bias. It's biased. Oh. Okay. I see now. But also this is like
Starting point is 01:08:24 something that is strictly up to somebody's own yeah it's just random group of people but like I think I think they just forgot
Starting point is 01:08:32 about Celine Dion oh shit right they got to 200 there's just no way they're like Celine I don't know
Starting point is 01:08:39 I think she's more like 205 you know or some very petty Rolling Stone reporter has somehow felt wrong yeah they didn't like her wanted to get out she thought they thought she was rude or something yeah i think frankly there is no way to make this list without making everybody angry another
Starting point is 01:08:56 force that made a lot of people angry this holiday season was southwest airlines oh there was a slew of cancellations did everybody have an okay time traveling this holiday season? I did a great job. Jeff did a great job. My dog. Yeah? He thrived. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:12 He was a great little traveler. Do you go in the carrying case or do you just hold? He just sat on my lap. Oh, wow. Yeah. Service the shit out of me. He was a great little service dog. What type of dog is it?
Starting point is 01:09:24 He's an Australian copper dog. Oh. He was great. I dog what type of dog is it he's an australian copper dog he was great i'm really proud of him no we uh i thankfully uh we flew a knighted and american and american uh and um pretty decent experiences this time around i only had a couple hour delay on my way back that's not bad i. I've always stumped for Southwest. For the right flight, they're great. What do you do? You don't pick a seat or something? I just feel like you end up with all these additional fees. Half the time, it's like, oh, it's a
Starting point is 01:09:56 cheap flight, and then they're like, your bag will be $87. It's not good for everything, but it's for the right regional flight. It's a winner. Bags fly free on Southwest. They had no change fees before everybody else is doing it. I think they are the Trader Joe's of airlines. They have a happy demeanor.
Starting point is 01:10:13 Also, fun fact, they were sued in the 70s. I wrote a legal studies paper on this because they would only hire hot, young flight attendants. And they said it was a big part of their business and competitive advantage because they were like, we're catering to like businessmen who want a pretty lady checking them in. And the court was like, no, you don't have to be hot to scan a ticket. Hire some men. Oh, also, speaking of scanning tickets, some people DM'd me about boarding passes. And some people say, I think it depends on the airline. Sometimes it does pop up.
Starting point is 01:10:42 Did you get any flack for that? Was anyone mad at you? No. But some people said you can. Sometimes it does pop up. Did you get any flack for that? No. Was anyone mad at you? I don't know. But I, some people said you can't see, nothing pops up. Other people said it does pop up
Starting point is 01:10:50 if you're in the wrong boarding group. So I think it depends on the airline. I think the people checking in just don't care. Yeah, that's what one person just said. They're like, they're really,
Starting point is 01:10:57 sometimes if they are on a power trip, they'll tell you like, no, but half the time they just don't care. Just don't care. Yeah. We were talking about
Starting point is 01:11:04 whether like, if you're in group seven. Oh. And you just, like, get in line. The group boarding. Does it show up on the ticket? Yeah, like, ever. Interesting. Because she Photoshop's her boarding passes.
Starting point is 01:11:16 Do you actually? Yeah. No. Yeah. I like to board early. Sometimes I just. So you'll change everything? Or you'll keep everything but change the group?
Starting point is 01:11:23 Yeah. I just get in line sometimes. I don't like change my seat. That's not going to work. But yeah. Especially if there's like this flight is full. You want to get on the plane that bad? Well, I have a dog.
Starting point is 01:11:34 So I like to get all my stuff like settled. Although sometimes I'm realizing like I could just board with, you know how they say at the beginning, like if you need more time. Oh, yeah. I should just go with that group. Kind of, yeah. I should just go with that group yeah i should just go with the group that i like legally can go in but i think the real inconvenience is when there's too many people like when they make you start checking your carry-on bag that makes my blood
Starting point is 01:11:56 boil yeah yeah i don't that's that's when i'm not waiting in group seven they're like we would like some volunteers like no one's volunteering like yeah who's well i think it depends if i've checked a bag it doesn't matter that doesn't really matter it's true you know that's what i'm saying they should make people who have already checked a bag be the first to give up their carry-on bag well because or give you the money back for that check no that's a thing it's just like okay you bring a check bag it's like well it's going to be another 25 for your second bag it's like, well, it's going to be another $25 for your second bag. It's like, all right, well, it's carried on. And then 15 minutes later, they're like begging me to like check that very same bag they were
Starting point is 01:12:30 going to charge me $25 for. So in those cases, I will check that bag because it's just like, we could have done this earlier, but like you decided to be a dick about it. And here we are. And I'll get that free voucher or whatever it is they're offering for me to check a bag. I want to know who's not getting on the plane to go the next day when they overbook you know when they give out vouchers like we're overbooked five seats does anybody want to give up their seat for i've thought about it a couple times really yeah you know like if you're not in a rush i've thought
Starting point is 01:12:57 about it when i've also i've never done it they've also offered like i thought about it but yeah when i you know when i didn't have a ton of money day It's different when they say next day or if they're like, I've heard them be like, there's another flight in two hours. Like that, I'd be like, if I was in a rush. Sure. So it's like, all right, well, I could use a free flight. I don't know when to use it, but like, fuck it. I'm not going anywhere. They were offering $800 because I was flying on Christmas.
Starting point is 01:13:18 They were offering $800 if you would go the next day. Next day. And I thought about it. But then I had a moment at first I, I was kind of getting FOMO. But then I was like, I am so grateful that I have family with whom 24 hours with them is worth $800. But also, that's a lot of money.
Starting point is 01:13:34 Yeah, I mean, stuff like that. I feel like everywhere I go is always get there at the last minute possible before, you know. So delaying my flight would just ruin the whole reason I'm going somewhere. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:47 So I guess that's why I've never really considered taking the- How early do y'all get to the airport? I'm an hour before the plane takes off. Hour 15.
Starting point is 01:13:54 That's when you get there? Hour 15. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I, my German grandfather is still deep within my bones. You're there for three hours. I must be at the airport
Starting point is 01:14:02 a minimum of two hours early. Two hours? And three for international. What do you do? What do you do? It's just pointless time and then you have to spend like $47 on a sandwich.
Starting point is 01:14:11 Even in the most busiest days of LAX, it's not that bad. Yeah. Even if you're PSA pre-check. Yeah, I think as long as, because the cutoff for a checked bag is 40 minutes before the plane takes off.
Starting point is 01:14:25 I one time pushed it a little too close and pulled up when it was boarding. Like Uber pulled up as it was boarding. The one time I missed a flight was because I checked a bag. That'll get you. You can make it on the flight, but you can't... My alarm didn't go off. It was like a 6 a.m. flight,
Starting point is 01:14:39 and I was amazed how fast I still got there. I was like, this is incredible. And I got to my gate. The plane was still there, but they wouldn't let me on because I had a checked bag. I was amazed how fast I still got there. I was like, this is incredible. And I got to my gate. The flight, the plane was still there, but they wouldn't let me on because I had a check bag. I was so pissed. I think it was two or three Thanksgivings ago. I missed two flights.
Starting point is 01:14:54 How? So I'm on my way. I leave it like a normal time that I would to go to the airport. And we get all the way almost to the In-N-Out right before LAX. So we're right there. And like and it's cutting it really close. I'm like, oh my God, I'm not going to make this flight. So I went on, I canceled the flight, booked another one that was an hour later.
Starting point is 01:15:15 I'm like, okay, at least we're good. So I'm still sitting there and this traffic is just a standstill. From that In-N-Out? Yes, I'm sitting there. I'm like, I'm about to just get out and run. So we're sitting there, sitting there, sitting there and it keeps cutting it close and I ended up missing the second flight being able to
Starting point is 01:15:34 check my check bag. So I had to sleep at a hotel right next to the airport and then go the next morning. Oh, that's brutal. Sometimes you have to cheat it on LAX and go to the arrivals and get out at the arrivals instead of the depart morning. Oh, that's brutal. I was so mad. Sometimes you have to cheat it on LAX and go to the arrivals and get out at the arrivals
Starting point is 01:15:49 instead of the departures if the departure is really busy. Yeah. I think car insurance should ask how many times do you go to LAX a year when they're deciding how much to charge you
Starting point is 01:15:57 because there is no place that I feel more consistently like I become close to have people hitting my car than LAX. Like it is next level yeah do you ever park there or you're like that because that's like how many times you pick up friends because i've i never drive to lax when i'm traveling i i i'm that person or have a ride
Starting point is 01:16:15 i'm the person that picks up my friends and they come in so i'm i'm kind of there a lot i have this friend who picks me up from the airport and she is like always there right on time she will have stopped at costco and bought me groceries she has a chilled white claw in the cup holder. Like it is a service. Wow. That is nice. Yeah. I plan to keep her around for a while. Yeah. Hang on to that one. Yeah. All right. Well, it's time for texting office hours. Let's get into it.
Starting point is 01:16:42 How's it going? Hi, Nick. I'm Sarah. I'm 28. Hi, Sarah. Basically, my best friend started dating my ex from eight years ago without telling me. Okay. And I'm assuming you want to figure out what to do about it? Mostly. I mean, I know I have no control over the situation, but I do kind of want to figure out how much of my input I want to actually give them here. Gotcha. you have some actual concerns for whatever they are whether you two had a lot of history or there's other things that you might know or do you care because you think you should care just because in general it's kind of weird yeah in general is kind of weird but i would say it's
Starting point is 01:17:41 more the actual concerns in addition to they're actually asking me to sit down and talk to them about how I feel about it. Because they're like, oh, well, you're our friend, so we want to make sure you're comfortable. How did you find out about it? So my ex from eight years ago, we took a couple years of not talking before we became friends again. But we see each other a couple times a year. We keep in touch. He lives out of state. His family is here. So I usually see him when he comes down to see his family. And so he came and visited a few months back. And at the time he met my best friend and she was in a relationship at that time but we met each other and we all hung out and did stuff around town and he came back to visit again for
Starting point is 01:18:35 the holidays and I was out of town with my boyfriend so she offered for him to stay with her and so he was going to stay with her the first night and then he kind of just never touched base with me about coming to stay at my place which was his original plan gotcha yeah so i kind of he told me that he was more comfortable there and didn't expect to get along with her and just kind of kept it vague. But, um, I'm not stupid. Like I could read between the lines there. So, um, but so I think it was Christmas night, actually, that I have her location and she has mine. And it was like 11 and I was wanting to see if she got home from her family's house but i noticed that she was at his family's house and that's when i kind
Starting point is 01:19:32 of called and reached the subject his family's christmas she's already going to christmas yeah they've been talking for a week at this point and she's at his family's christmas at his family's Christmas. Okay. Why are you friends with your ex? How serious was this relationship? How long did you guys date for? Yeah. I know you're not a proponent of friends with the exes. I mean, there's exceptions every rule, but I am curious since you are friends, how that came to be? Yeah, we were friends first. We met when we were 19. We both had some family stuff and kind of used the relationship and each other to move in together pretty early on after probably a couple of months. Okay, so you guys lived together. We lived together for about a year.
Starting point is 01:20:22 And we broke up when we had an argument where he was talking to someone else and I found out about it and there was like a small physical altercation and then we didn't speak for a few years before. What do you mean by small physical altercation? my small physical altercation what i mean i guess is that he was being very like what i was saying about the situation didn't matter with him talking to someone else and just kind of being really cold about it to me and i pushed him and then in return, he kicked me. You lived with this guy. He cheated on you on some level. He got defensive and this physical altercation happened. You pushed.
Starting point is 01:21:19 He retaliated, physically hurt you. Do you think he's grown from being the 20-year-old reactive person that he was? I feel like he's grown and changed, but I also wouldn't say that I'm sure that if pushed, someone wouldn't revert to that same behavior. Does she know his history? She does know his history, yes. she does know this history yes and um she recently got out of a relationship that was also abusive so it's not too far off from what happened with us many years ago given the seriousness of this i think you just have to be honest you know i think yeah you're going to upset them you're going to upset your friend but if you truly have some value it sounds like you have some valid concerns and i think all
Starting point is 01:22:11 you can say is and i think you if that i think it's more of a conversation with her than with him i mean it could be yeah and they said they wanted to talk to you when what did they say how did they bring it up i mean they have their own concerns too like more minor things that they're concerned about like are you okay with this as a friend their future goals not lining up am i okay with it what's going to happen if it doesn't work out things like that pretty vague things um it's tough right because i can also picture you even if you were like honest about like if you sat them down and said well if I'm keeping it real my real concern is to your ex you're like you know
Starting point is 01:22:50 and I have this history I know you're sorry for it but like it's not it still happened and it's not something that I can forget that it happened you know I still love you and care about it I think deep down maybe you're a good person but but it's still a concern. And now you're dating my best friend who just got out of a very toxic and abusive relationship. The problem, I think if you say that to them, both of them, even if they like acknowledge it, they're like, yeah, no, but I think everyone thinks they can be different or they can learn. How long ago did she get out of a relationship? A couple months. So I would just maybe remind her, it's like, hey, it's just been a couple months. You're still healing. You know, just be careful. Regardless of who she is hanging out with now, she should be careful with her heart in a sense, right?
Starting point is 01:23:43 Even if it was like some strange guy who you thought was, seemed like, you know, had all the green flags. You know, it's just kind of like, hey, it's, she still might have some healing to do. So like her getting emotionally invested and just her having Christmas with this guy's family kind of speaks to, you know,
Starting point is 01:24:03 her wanting to feel a certain feeling around the holidays more than whatever she feels with him. That's true. I didn't think about that like that. That's my guess. But like making her aware of that is, you know, like how much did you, what's your comfort level to communicate and have tough conversations with her? Like, will she listen to you think, or do you think she'll just get defensive?
Starting point is 01:24:29 No, she'll listen. So, yeah, I mean, maybe just kind of lead with kind of love and just say, Hey, listen,
Starting point is 01:24:34 like, because if I'm reading you right, like as far as them dating, you don't really give a shit in terms of he used to be your ex and she's your friend yeah not at all okay yeah i don't see him like that it's been a long time since so i think you have work that working for you right and i think you say to them or her specifically it's like listen if you really are happy with him i i don't care. I'm really, I don't see him like that. If you're happy, I'm happy, but you just got out of this relationship. And I just think,
Starting point is 01:25:12 I just, I'm concerned that you're not fully, you know, healed from it. You know, it just takes time to heal from these things. And I am concerned about this history, you know, and just kind of from a compassionate standpoint without accusing her of anything or blaming her, you know, you, what you want to be careful of is not accusing her of how she is or what she might do. It's just more like, is this the healthiest situation you're putting yourself in, you know, and the fact, you know, or don't you think things are moving a little, I'm just concerned things are moving too quickly and i am concerned that you know you have a hat like you know i'm concerned for a situation that you've know that you've just worked hard to remove yourself from
Starting point is 01:25:57 yeah i'm concerned about the variables that this situation has that makes me think it's possible for you to be back in a very similar situation if things don't go perfectly yeah and just see what she says yeah that's a good way to word that you know it's like you don't want to act like you know for sure it's going to happen you don't want to doubt their ability to have changed and grow because like you don't want to like say these things that make them get well no like how do you know i haven't changed or things like that or but it's just more hey don't you think yeah like it's just more you want her to just be sure she's happy and healed because the fact that they want to sit down and talk to you about like really giving this a shot it's like you know yeah it could go it could even even without this history it could get real messy
Starting point is 01:26:50 yeah i think i just was wondering if that's even a conversation that should be had because if they're sitting down to talk with me then to an extent it sounds like they've already kind of decided what they're gonna do yeah i mean listen i don't think you're going to stop them if that's what they want to do but i think as a friend and as her best friend i think you have the right to say something she might not want to hear if it's coming from a place of love you know yeah it's just a concern for her safety and kind of leave it at that. Yeah. And I think make it less about necessarily him and this,
Starting point is 01:27:29 the overall, like this whole situation, it just, I think has a lot of red flags. Yeah. And you kind of frame it like that. It's like, you just got out of this really toxic relationship and it takes time to heal from that.
Starting point is 01:27:43 And I'm sure you're feeling a lot of different things you know as much as you might be happy to be out of it maybe during the holidays you were feeling lonely and sad and feeling single and and you know just not being happy with your relationship status and i get that and i empathize with that and i understand the desire to want that but i'm concerned that like you, you were dating for a week and hanging out with his family. And like, I just, I just,
Starting point is 01:28:09 I don't want to make sure you're jumping into something before your, your, your heart is fully healed. And then, you know, like, let's just not forget as much as, you know,
Starting point is 01:28:19 I am friends with them, you know, so I'm not trying to like, not saying he's a bad guy, but like, there are these concerns there's a reason why i like i don't like moved on from that relationship and you have like what's going to be different about this situation and then just kind of see what she says
Starting point is 01:28:38 yeah what what are you going to say to her if she's just like hey listen i appreciate your thoughts but i'm just gonna date it anyways like what's your plan on and are you gonna say something to him i'm prepared i think for her to tell me that she's gonna do what she's gonna do anyways but uh i guess that's when i would want to talk to him and just kind of broach the subject of things. I mean, for now there is the, the benefit of this being a long distance thing. So there wouldn't be a ton of, well maybe they could grow some connection without that concern, but we haven't talked about it at all all in years he and I so I think
Starting point is 01:29:26 talking to him about it makes me a little bit uncomfortable yeah I understand but I know that if I'm concerned for her safety I'll have to so yeah I mean I don't think you have to because if this is affecting you I'd understand why you
Starting point is 01:29:44 wouldn't be comfortable doing that. But it would be a very selfless thing for you to do for your friend. Yeah. If you could. And I think if you do decide to do it with him, I think it's okay to let him know how difficult it is to have this conversation with him and how uncomfortable it makes you feel. But like, it's a tough, it's a scary, you don't want to have that conversation,
Starting point is 01:30:10 but like you dating him, dating your best friend brings up a lot of old wounds that make you concerned for her. The only way he should handle that is by saying, yeah, I understand how you feel. You have the right to feel that way. And I hate myself every day for that have had that happened. And it's something I'm, I swore and committed to never do that again, because I think, um, putting hands on a woman is they're a hundred% wrong and there's no excuse for it. You know, just if he gets defensive and reactive there, then I would point that out to him. Be like, this is what I'm concerned about. You know, you handling your anger.
Starting point is 01:31:02 Like he did it. He has to own that. And he doesn't get to just wish it away. Yeah. It's a tough situation. I'm sorry. Yeah. Well, thanks for talking to me about it.
Starting point is 01:31:15 No problem. Is there any part of you that's feeling the fact that you, are you feeling any guilt that they're hanging out now like did she meet him through you yeah are you feeling things about that i didn't anticipate that anything was going to come of that because my understanding is he's not her type as she puts it but i do think i underestimated her vulnerability level coming out of this other relationship well i wouldn't i wouldn't waste any energy feeling bad if if you were i guess the only reason why i brought it up like there's nothing i can do about them meeting
Starting point is 01:31:56 and all you can do is just i think you could just be as vulnerable as you can and as honest and like you seem very vulnerable right now. And this seems like a very difficult thing for you to talk about. And I think that same energy will go a long way with her. I mean, I don't know the dynamic of your friendship, but I hope there's a lot of love and respect there and that she trusts you. And that as long as you're not like coming from a place of like, I don't want you to be happy and like jealous or bitter. And I'm not getting any of that energy from you at all yeah that i hope that she at least has a moment of pause and just says hey like if nothing else maybe i just need to slow down with this you know you're not telling
Starting point is 01:32:35 her not to like explore this relationship or to cut him off completely but you are saying like listen like maybe just slow down and ask the right questions and just be hyper aware of how he reacts to disappointment and frustrations and make sure you're putting yourself in safe situations. And whatever role she played in that toxicity in the last relationship to work on those things, she needs to work on as well because you are worried for her and and you she is very vulnerable right now and you just want her to be happy yeah so i would just lead with that energy and and go from there all right all right all right i wish i feel like we didn't help all that much i don't know should i talk to them together or separately they're wanting me to talk to them together what is your what's your comfort level? I think you should have a conversation. I feel like you should have a conversation with her alone because I don't want you to get teamed up on. Yeah, that's a good idea. I think that's what
Starting point is 01:33:34 I was worried about. Yeah, this is a conversation you really need to have with her because you're better friends with her. He wasn't a part of that last relationship. So I think you can have that conversation with him together after you have it with her but i think she needs to hear you out first without him being a part of that conversation okay yeah and so i would just say hey listen is you know you're she's your best friend but like i'd feel comfortable like i'd like to talk to you about this and i'm open to having conversations with both you but can you and I sit down and just have a conversation first? Yeah. It would really mean a lot to me. Okay. And do that. Yeah. And see where it goes. Okay. All right. All right. All right. Well, take care. I'm, uh, it's a tough situation, but, uh,
Starting point is 01:34:16 you're being a good friend and that's important. And then it's not always easy to be a great friend, but, um, just know that you are being one and hopefully that helps you you know get through these tough conversations you're about to have yeah all right all right we'll take care keep us posted I will thank you all right happy new year you too all right bye bye
Starting point is 01:34:38 that was a tough one yeah you handled it well though it's just like kind of yeah Amanda what are you thinking about i think i'm always struck by like how not to sound cliche but like how pervasive like abusive and like physical situations are and i think that's something that like exists so much behind closed doors and like so rarely people feel comfortable talking about it um and it's just a really interesting dynamic with her becoming friends with him again and that friendship was
Starting point is 01:35:05 the catalyst yeah to introduce yeah this relationship anyway heath hey thanks for coming thanks for having me on uh please uh let my audience know all the great things that you're doing like your coffee company which is delicious by the way uh way. Yeah, Cremota Coffee, cremota.com. And we have a podcast called Zane and Heath Unfiltered. What do you guys talk about? We kind of just talk about our life and whatever happened that week, we always find ourselves in situations where something funny or traumatic happens.
Starting point is 01:35:38 And we kind of just hang out, talk, me, him, and then my girlfriend, Mariah, and our best friend, friend matt is on the podcast as well so it's just four people hanging out having a couch conversation well uh many of you have already seen it check it out if you haven't uh also on the gram you're on all the socials yeah uh just heath husar if you want to find me it's a good follow appreciate that um and yeah thanks again for having me i really appreciate it it's always good to see you buddy I hope to see more of you this year
Starting point is 01:36:06 absolutely that's my 2023 resolution see more of me see more Heath there we go I like that I don't mind that well thanks for listening guys
Starting point is 01:36:13 don't forget to send in those questions we have a new email address for you asknickatthevilefiles.com so write that down asknick same at thevilefiles.. Send in all things related to ask Nick, all your texting office, our calls, things like that. Dr. Maya is with us, a behavioral
Starting point is 01:36:31 scientist to talk about all things, new year's resolutions and how we can take those resolutions and turn them into actionable habits and replicated behaviors. Should be a fun conversation and, uh, tune in for that. any other topics we haven't discussed we need to get into uh going deeper amanda the idaho uh murders and discussing some of the things that are coming out the person who is currently uh the prime suspect barbara walters passed away um and amy and tj on gma have uh of GMA, not on GMA, have some updates there with the TJ divorce. We'll get into some of those as well on Thursday.
Starting point is 01:37:11 So be sure to check that out. And that, have a great day. Bye. Bye guys. Bye.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.