The Viall Files - E529 The Engagement Episode with Natalie Joy

Episode Date: January 19, 2023

Welcome back to another episode of The Viall Files, Going Deeper Edition! Today we are joined by Nick’s fiancée Natalie Joy for a special Engagement Episode. We discuss everything from when Natalie... started dropping hints, to when Nick started ring shopping, to the run of show for the proposal. Their perfect night involved a fake event, hiring actors, flying in an event planner and vinyl designer, and even Tom Hanks finding out about the proposal! Nick and Natalie laugh (and cry) about their relationship and a future together. And we wrap up the episode by talking to a caller who needs to uninvite relatives from wedding dress shopping.  “She’s very nosy, which is frustrating.”  If you are interested in running a book club in your city, send an email to: DTYEHBBookClub@gmail.com  Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to asknick@theviallfiles.com to be a part of our Monday episodes.  Download the AMP App: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/amp-live-radio-music-talk/id1586403838 To Order Nick’s Book Go To: http://www.viallfiles.com Support a Local Bookstore: https://bookshop.org/books/don-t-text-your-ex-happy-birthday-and-other-advice-on-love-sex-and-dating-9798212185622/9781419755491 If you would like to get some advice on Office Hours send an email to asknick@theviallfiles.com with “Office Hours” in the subject line!  To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://www.advertisecast.com/TheViallFiles THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: OSEA: Get 10% off your first order sitewide with code VIALLFILES at http://www.OSEAMalibu.com Episode Socials: @viallfiles@nickviall@nnataliejjoy @lacedvinylshoppe

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 what's going on everybody welcome back to the most special episode of the vile files going deeper edition i'm your host nick joined by amanda and ali did you guys did you switch you did switch we did swap yeah makes it new studio new us you have feelings about it i like my old chair but i'm a team player okay the way you are airing this as if you did not push back at all i'm just having fun with this it's fine but but ali you i said i'm not thrilled by my time in the big head seat how what do you mean you both look great it is like there is a subtle difference where she definitely you asked politely you also voiced that it wasn't a big deal but it was clear ali was not thrilled yeah thank you we're taking turns
Starting point is 00:01:07 kindergarten baby what do you mean my big head seat let me know down in the comments below how you like my head no it's no and it's not it's just there's one person who's slightly closer angle did someone comment about your head no they didn't it's it's just like the way you're turned like my like i have very fine hair ali has a gorgeous luscious head of hair and like sometimes when i turn my head to look at her like when you're in that seat you are just a lot more side profile-y and also you're like slightly like your head my head looked bigger to me okay so for anyone, I'm a diva. Thank you for being such a team player.
Starting point is 00:01:47 Thank you. Well, today is a very special episode because my fiance, Natalie is with us to talk about our engagement and this being a relationship driven podcast. It made sense, obviously. And, you know,
Starting point is 00:02:03 I think we just kind of want to share it with with everyone um i know we talked about this on our freestyle episode uh on tuesday but uh this is kind of a new chapter uh for the vile files it's a new studio uh it's our studio uh we are fully producing this show on our own, which is exciting, which we kind of already were doing on a lot of ways, but we really have taken ownership and Allie and Amanda are now full, full-time employees. And Nick is giving us healthcare.
Starting point is 00:02:35 And I'm giving you guys healthcare. And that's huge. I'm a very adulting. We have Derek with us, our producer, who over time, I'm sure you'll get to know, he's a gem. but you know for me this has been such a kind of pivotal time in my life with me proposing and this studio and i'm so obviously grateful for all the people listening um you know i don't think of this
Starting point is 00:03:01 as just a show anymore this is my my life. This is my career. It's such an important thing to me. And so I just wanted to share. Natalie and I, we just wanted to share kind of our story with you guys. And we're so grateful for all the kind messages and the people who have sent us notes and who enjoy it or if it, you know, whatever it brings you maybe just an outlet or something to do. If it brings you any happiness, great. We're,
Starting point is 00:03:31 we're so just thankful. And I guess we just wanted to share our story and, and talk about it and hopefully you guys enjoy it. So, yeah, it's like, we're, I feel like it's been big startup energy, you know,
Starting point is 00:03:43 just getting everything set up and it's, the listeners are the earliest investors. And it's very cool that we're at this like new juncture. And it's so much because like, there's a very cool community of people out there. Yeah. Thinking of what we're putting down. I don't want to cry because I already did that in this episode.
Starting point is 00:04:01 But yeah, I'm really just so grateful for everyone who's ever listened and uh this show is my life and and it means so much to me and uh our ability to talk to you guys and having met so many people it's so just wonderful and speaking of new new kind of next step in our journey on the vile files. As we mentioned before on Freestyle, tonight is the premiere of Better Date Than Never. That is a live show that will be on AMP, 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific.
Starting point is 00:04:37 It's all about dating. We will be giving people dating advice, getting ready for dates. We'll be helping people break down the dates that they just had, talking next steps. Dating app advice. It's interactive. It's live.
Starting point is 00:04:49 We'll allow some of you to also chime in and give your feedback as well. So I hope you all join. It's going to be a ton of fun. Just make sure you download the AMP app. If you have an iPhone, you have to have an iPhone to listen to the show. We may in the future figure out a way an iPhone to listen to the show. We may in the future figure out a way for people to listen to the show if they can't make the live, but that's down the road. And we'll figure out a way for you guys. Maybe it's a premium content or something like that,
Starting point is 00:05:17 but I hope you guys check it out. It's going to be a ton of fun, a lot of fun. And it's also, we want it to be kind of a more intimate way for allow you guys to kind of you know hang out with us a little bit more again live so we'll probably be just like there's no edit or anything like that we'll just off the cuff and i hope you guys enjoy that type of energy and can i just say ali two drinks in an incredibly fun even though like I'm not gonna deny it Ali is like one of the most fun people to like have a cocktail with and so that's exactly most likely to get into a fight think of it like a pregame with your close friends before you do the big scary date thing or whatever else it is and then we got we got Ariana from Vanderpump helping us
Starting point is 00:06:06 break down episode one of zach's season we have jim jeffries helping us break down episode two we have the lottners taylor and taylor lottner not next week on going deeper but the week after uh next week guest tbd we're we're kind of deciding which direction we want to go. We got a lot of move-in pieces. We got some move-in pieces. You know, we always want to bring you the most relevant show. So, yeah. I think that's all we're really getting to.
Starting point is 00:06:37 I'm losing steam on Prince Harry. You know, I just... I don't think you're the only one. I'm getting sick of him. I don't think you're the only one.'m getting sick of him i don't think he's getting whiny yeah it's just you know what i i wanted to bring up to you uh i saw a tiktok someone stitched it together because obviously you know his book spare came out and i believe he also read the audiobook and someone found a clip of megan showing someone her wedding dress
Starting point is 00:07:02 and she was saying oh did you look underneath the skirt? There's a little piece of blue fabric. It was my something blue. It's a swatch of fabric from the dress I wore on our first date. And then the TikTok immediately went to the audio book of Spare, where he's talking about how he was running late for their first date, that they talked about in the documentary. And he was saying, I walked in and she was there in a black
Starting point is 00:07:25 sweater and jeans and heels so which is it yeah a blue dress or a black sweater they're all they're just like spilling was it a swatch of denim and it's a he but she said dress it's a he said they said kind of situation and then there was this one interview that they were asking about the comments he made like the allegations of the racist comments that his his family made then he was like well i didn't say they made racist comments he said the press said that but wasn't he saying that like his family basically runs the press and i don't know what was said because i wasn't there but if his family in any way like had a discussion about the skin color of his unborn child.
Starting point is 00:08:06 That sounds fucking racist. And it was like he seemed to be like walking back on those comments. And it was just like, wait, well, I think he was just trying to be technical because, again, like he's smart. He knows how things read. And I think he was just trying to really rely on the fact that that the quote, my family is racist, never came out of his mouth did he supply evidence in which we can conclude that yes but he never fully said that oh come on harry i know but
Starting point is 00:08:32 i think he's just really leaning on the technical and he doesn't want the headline obnoxious to say prince harry calls his family are we not going to talk about the part of his book but where he says he put on the cream that smells like his mom like that reminds him of his mom on his frostbitten dick oh that's weird yeah and he said i could feel her in the room that's weird he had a frostbitten dick for their wedding and i'm very for william and kate's and i'm like a very sentimental person i totally get like this sensory stuff of like it reminds you of your mom but on your pp not on the dick not on your pp yeah i don't know but it's just like yeah
Starting point is 00:09:05 but i get the whole technical but it's just like i watched my friend slash someone's throat and they're like oh your friends are murder i did not say my friend was a murderer i just said i saw them slit someone's throat but there is a little bit of nuance in that yeah i'm saying but i'm saying if i was gonna play devil's advocate yeah Yeah. But you're losing me, I guess. But I will say I saw a tick tock. Cause I want to give Megan some props. She's she's on tick tock. This I want to give it's Stella mags.
Starting point is 00:09:35 Stella M a G Z is her account. I don't know. She's on tick tock said that her husband works on worked on the production of suits. And she just talks about how, you know, she really trusts, she used the word character, which matters to me. I'm a character guy.
Starting point is 00:09:50 I think too much in this world, we like or dislike people based off of what they believe more than what their character is. And I think character is far more important because beliefs can change and evolve, but that's a discussion for another day. But and whether this her husband has good character, bad character. She talked how her husband had not one bad thing to say about Megan and that she was incredibly kind and down to earth and respectful to everyone in the set of suits.
Starting point is 00:10:21 So I don't know. I think stories like that are important and don't often get told. And this is first-hand account of someone just observed Meghan Markle when she worked on suits. So I don't think you're hearing a lot of those types of sentiments regarding Meghan Markle in terms of her graciousness and how she treats everyone around her. Because I think she sounds like fair unfair she people are often talking about you know i've heard seen the word narcissist thrown around or she's she thinks she's better than you know other people etc etc and this seems to be a eyewitness account of of quite the opposite yeah i don't know i still think they should just shut the fuck up um i'm hopeful
Starting point is 00:11:05 that they will like i've said in our previous discussions we did the netflix documentary the book is out he did 60 minutes he did his like whole little press tour i'm hopeful that we might have exhausted all of our options i don't know he could always prove me harry's getting whiny to me he's he he's coming across is just a privileged prince and who's just like mad he's not king i don't think he's mad that he's not king it's that's how i'm i'm getting a different that's the impression i'm getting i'm just one man i don't know but i'm just a man just one just a man just a man anyway be sure to check out our amp show, Better Date Than Never Tonight, 9 p.m. Eastern. Get ready for my wonderful fiance, Natalie.
Starting point is 00:11:51 And we have an amazing also texting office hour at the end of this episode. So get ready for that. Happens to be wedding themed. Yeah, some wedding dress drama and some uninviting that might be on the table. So very juicy. All right, well, here we go.
Starting point is 00:12:06 I feel like now that it's the new year, I'm making it a goal to invest more in my lifestyle and invest more in myself and not just rush out the door or after I shower, just like get straight into bed. And I think skincare is one of the things that I'm trying to work on because you just feel so good about yourself when you have a full regimen, you have a routine, your face is glowing. No more dry skin for me in 2023. New year, new you, new products.
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Starting point is 00:14:28 We'll make them count. See guarantee details at TurboTax.com slash guarantees. Experts only available with TurboTax Live. Hello, fiance. Say it again. Hello, fiance. One more time.
Starting point is 00:14:41 Hello, fiance. Yeah. Hi, fiance. How's it going? People are sick of us already. One more time. Hello, fiance. Yeah, hi, fiance. How's it going? People are sick of us already. Disgusted. Alleymen are puking everywhere. Absolutely not.
Starting point is 00:14:53 Welcome. You've been on the podcast, well, you've been on a couple of recaps, but now going deeper, which is reserved for... Fiancee, yeah. The elites. No. Now that your relationship has gone deeper.
Starting point is 00:15:06 Yeah. Now that the relationship has gone deeper. Here you are. I mean, we figured we'd just, I guess, talk about the proposal.
Starting point is 00:15:15 Yeah. It's the engagement. Is it the proposal episode? The engagement episode? Engagement. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:23 Engagement. Let's start at the beginning. Nick was born. By school 27 years ago. I've been holding off and answering some of Natalie's questions for the show. Oh. I feel like maybe we start with just like when you decided you wanted to do this and what were your first steps? Who were the first people you talked to?
Starting point is 00:15:44 Yeah. and what were your first steps, who were the first people you talked to? Like, cause I feel like when I was made aware of the plan to go to a Tom Hanks event, it was like way after a lot of stuff had already been done. I mean, we, I guess, started talking about, this is a relationship podcast, as you may know. So maybe we should talk about just kind of how we talked about like our relationship like how we got to the point in which we felt comfortable enough to like when we both knew we were ready for a proposal because like we definitely talked a lot about it like it wasn't one like you know
Starting point is 00:16:19 for me i think everyone has everyone's different in in terms of how they go about getting engaged, how they go about, do they ring shop together? Is it more of a, you know, you know it's coming, or is it a total surprise? I didn't want it to be a total surprise in a sense. I wanted us to be on the same page. But once I knew we were ready, then I wanted it to be a surprise. I wanted to not have her wake up and know that today's the day I'm getting engaged type of thing. So yeah, we talked a lot about it.
Starting point is 00:16:54 I mean, I think we started talking about it, I think, the beginning of last year. Yeah. How did it first come up? Who kind of breached the topic? Do you remember i mean i have just always been annoying in the sense that like even when we weren't talking about like obviously i moved out here we lived together like our plan was to spend the rest of our lives together whether we had talked about it or not and um so i would like send him tiktoks of like rings and be like oh my god i'm
Starting point is 00:17:22 so sorry like did not mean to send that to you just like disregard and proposal videos or whatever so he obviously knew that i was there and then i think you brought it up on like a walk one day or in our backyard and you were like okay don't think too much into this but are you you're you're saying this to me yeah yeah like don't think too much into this but let's talk about some things if we were to get married just kind of sprinkling in some things and there was a time where natalie asked like is this too much am i being i said do i cross the line he said you walk the line don't cross it like i didn't you know she didn't want to be pushy about it. And like, but she was just kind of letting me know, like a big part of our relationship is always like, I think we like to set each other up for success.
Starting point is 00:18:13 We like to communicate the things that we need in our relationships, whether it's love languages, whether it's when we're upset, like what do we need to resolve the conflict? And then like what, like, do we need to resolve the conflict? And then like what, like, you know, just the day-to-day stuff. And then when it comes to taking the next step in our relationship, like we're just big on that communications.
Starting point is 00:18:34 You know, we were talking about, like I said, in the beginning of last January, and neither of us necessarily thought that like we were gonna get proposed in like the early last year. Yeah. Get proposed. Get proposed to. I didn't think either. Yeah. Get proposed. Get proposed to. Get engaged.
Starting point is 00:18:46 I didn't think either of us. Get engaged, you proposed. Yeah, I didn't think either of us were expecting us to get engaged like early last year, but it was just like, we just started slowly talking about it. And then we started slowly talking about, you know, like kind of like the unsexy.
Starting point is 00:19:02 Like the logistics? Would you want to live here for the rest of your life like you want like what were the answers to those questions do you well i mean i think we're both from she's from the south i'm from the midwest i i've made a home here we you know we've made a home here and like so when you know that and that i think now they can answer but like for herself, but you know, when we first started talking about that conversation, Natalie was living here for like a year and she had made some friends, but not a ton of friends. I had been here for six and a half, seven years and I bought a home and now granted Natalie moved in and out, you know, it feels like more our home, you know, and things
Starting point is 00:19:43 like that. So, you know, for me and for us, like we've definitely built a home here. And I think we feel very grateful that we are currently in a position to, you know, maybe consider buying property in other parts of the country might allow us to be closer to family, at least different parts of the year and things like that. But I don't think we have any immediate plans to move or anything like that. So, yeah. And then, you know, we started talking about money
Starting point is 00:20:09 and just logistical stuff like that just to make sure we were on the same page because up until that point, it was just, you know, kind of honeymoon type conversations. And I feel like those are the conversations that most people are so scared to have and they're like, let's just not talk about it. We'll just get to it later.
Starting point is 00:20:30 And then it causes problems in the actual marriage. So I feel like we are so blessed to have that great communication to be able to just be like, okay, we do need to talk about this. Let's get it out of the way. When we went to just be like, okay, we do need to talk about this. Let's get it out of the way.
Starting point is 00:20:45 And then we went to, we went when we went to Europe last summer, you were wondering if it was gonna happen. And so she kind of like checked in and I was like, yeah, no, don't worry. It's not happening. I think, cause I think she. You also though set her up for failure
Starting point is 00:21:00 because you were saying things like, make sure you get your nails done. You're also going to Paris. Yeah. Like absolute Paris. Paris also so many people not even just like strangers on the internet but so many of my close friends or even like distant family would be like oh my gosh like this would be the perfect place to get engaged he's totally gonna propose and I was like I don't know if like wait are you like I feel like I needed some sort of like mental preparedness it sounds like the internet psyched you out psyched me out because at that point i think before that you all natalie
Starting point is 00:21:34 communicated to me when it with regards to an engagement she wanted two two things. She wanted to celebrate it with family and friends afterwards. And she wanted it documented. You know, she wanted to have me have, you know, we're lucky enough to have some amazing photographers and videographer friends. Shout out Sarah, Jason. Shout out to Sarah Partain and-
Starting point is 00:22:01 Jason Russ. Jason Russ. And we're very lucky that way. So, you know, she wanted it documented. So those were the only two kind of like asks that she had. And the rest was just kind of up to me. And so, yeah, when she brought that up, I'm like, yeah, no, I'm not throwing a party in Paris. Who did you fly out here?
Starting point is 00:22:22 Who did you fly out here? You know, I had thought thought about we had met new york we both love new york new york is very special to us it's like it just really is a special place for us mostly because like we met there and we just love the city and i had definitely thought about possibly figuring out a way to propose really in new york yeah but like one i figured that might make it harder to hide just because like hey we're going to new york yeah but like one i figured that might make it harder to hide just because like hey we're going to new york for something yeah um and then just you know we certainly have plenty of friends uh in new york but we have more out here and you know it's just
Starting point is 00:22:58 like venue wise like where would we throw a party it just it added to the complications of it all so um i i pretty much resided to doing it in and um but you did it in venice which is where nick used to live when we like when i first started to visit him it was like in his apartment in venice so we have so many memories in venice that's true that was like so you did that was a kind of a beautiful coincidence though um yeah oh we i went to it was 100 intentional i went to dinner with um my two best friends keaton and destiny in venice like the beginning of january probably and it was like one block up from nick's old apartment so i was like oh my gosh wait drive over here and we like drive past his apartment i'm like houston park
Starting point is 00:23:43 right there i like sent nick a photo and he was like, what if he proposes in this parking lot? I was like, honestly? Yeah, it's like, we could go visit. Yeah. Hold on to your kilts, dearies. Peacock original The Traitors is back with a new season of strategy, betrayal, sabotage, and murder.
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Starting point is 00:24:45 Ladies and gentlemen. What are you doing? What do you mean? Just keep it simple. I'm making the promo. Just keep it simple. Just say, hey, we're the Brav Bros. Two guys that talk about Bravo.
Starting point is 00:24:56 Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, we're the Brav Bros. No. Dude, stop with the voice. Just keep it simple. I've seen promos on tv dude this is how you get the fans engaged this is how you get listeners we're trying to get listeners here if we just say oh we're two dudes that talk about bravo people are gonna get tired of it already we need some oomph all right then fine let's try to do it with your voice brav bros good job so i guess back to
Starting point is 00:25:22 the actual proposal so like it was i think I mentioned this in the Ask Nick, but I think like timing wise, I just, there was too much at the end of the year where I was just like, I didn't feel like, there was a part of me that wanted to do it in 2022, you know, but it just felt like too crammed with other things going on. I just, it felt like, I i don't know was there a specific
Starting point is 00:25:46 moment or memory that you have with natalie where you were like i need to wife her now like this is like this is this is becoming incredibly urgent no not really i mean like i i knew i wanted to propose to her i mean forever ago you know how most people are like i knew the moment we met not this one no not no but i mean i could have got proposed i could have proposed to her early 2022 or before like i remember it was like an instagram post at the like at the end of god big plans for you in 2022 yeah and like literally as you know I did it obviously to like it's right in there get those comments and those looks but also like I meant it like there was this idea like I'm we're definitely gonna get engaged this year
Starting point is 00:26:35 you know and uh and I and I assumed it would be towards the end of the year and but also i think like with your book coming out it was so much like let's not take away from this massive moment in your life and like try and one-up it with a proposal it was like let's actually that yeah i was very much thinking about doing it around then uh around the book and then i was talking to my friend Megan, who's also my publicist, but friend first. And it just felt like I didn't want it to seem like I was capitalizing on my engagement for the book or anything like that. It just felt like it would be too intertwined. And so once I decided that, it kind of got pushed towards the end of the year. And the summer was busy and we were traveling and I didn't want to do our traveling.
Starting point is 00:27:29 And then my next thought was to do it in the fall. But then like I get the book coming out. Oh, I also said I don't want it on a holiday. Like I did not want like Happy Thanksgiving. Pass the turkey. Oh, will you marry me? Like I did not want that. I didn't want.
Starting point is 00:27:42 We were on the same page about that. No offense to anyone else who's gotten engaged on the holiday. Yeah, it's beautiful. It's beautiful. Just not for us. And so, yeah, so like that, you know, timing wise, it just, then I was just like, okay, towards the end of the year. And then it's like, well, the holidays are coming up.
Starting point is 00:27:58 So it's just like, I don't want to sandwich it in between Thanksgiving and Christmas. And like everyone out, everyone in the world is like, you know, focused on the holidays and family and things like that. And so I started like looking at rings at the end of the year. And so I'm very lucky that my cousin, well, my cousin by marriage, but my cousin, Mary Parker,
Starting point is 00:28:18 who ironically has my mom's maiden name. I know that is, I love Mary, but yeah, you could have been Nick Parker. I know. I know. I know. is, I love Mary, but yeah, you could have been Nick Parker. I know. I know. I know. Natalie Parker, strong. If I was Nick Parker, I'd always introduce myself
Starting point is 00:28:32 first and last name. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I'm not. And so she works for Brilliant Earth. And so Natalie and Mary have become friends and fast friends. I talked to Mary about your ring at your birthday party.
Starting point is 00:28:50 Someone else told me that. And I was like, this little bitch. She was just going around. Oh, no, no, no. I brought it up to Mary. Because she was like, oh, we're Nick's cousins. And I was like, the jeweler. I was like, is it you? Tell me everything.
Starting point is 00:29:02 I was like, let's gab. Mary and Natalie became friends. Was it their wedding? Yeah everything. I was like, let's gab. Mary and Allie became friends. Was it their wedding? Yeah, that was the first time I met her, but we immediately clicked. We're very similar. Yeah, they clicked very quickly. So Mary kind of was immediately like asking questions
Starting point is 00:29:19 and she talked about Brilliant Earth and how they focus on conscious diamonds and they do beautiful work. And so from that moment on with Mary, I was just like, I'm going to go with Brilliant Earth. And they do such an amazing job. And honestly, like for any guys listening or the ladies out there, it was a really great experience. Like they really made me feel like it was very intimate and the and, um, the whole shopping experience and, and just going through it.
Starting point is 00:29:47 It was really quite lovely. And so I started doing that in October, which she's so, and it's, she's really nosy, which is obviously frustrating. Cause I, I also really don't,
Starting point is 00:29:57 I do not like lying to her at all. And it's, I just am very uncomfortable with it. Like there was one time I actually, I was getting your birthday gift, but no, wait, that's not true. Remember that time I called you and I was like, hey, I'm not where I am.
Starting point is 00:30:15 I'm sorry. I just- Yeah, you were getting my birthday gift. No, that was the first time I looked at rings. What? Wait, so you lied to me twice yeah so at first like the brilliant earth they're one they have one location in west hollywood like Natalie works in Beverly Hills and I was just like what if she's like she texts me she's like I called him because I saw
Starting point is 00:30:40 something and I was I was still at work I was like gonna tell him when I was coming home or something he declined it texted me he was like still recording call you later so I was like oh he's still recording
Starting point is 00:30:49 and I was like in the parking lot of Brilliant Earth and I just was like I kind of panicked and I was like and then I got done and I was like
Starting point is 00:30:57 well I also like I don't I do not like I don't lie to her and so like I'm not a good liar and so I was just like this might sound fishy so I was just like hey I'm sorry I lied to you I was not like, I don't lie to her. And so like, I'm not a good liar. And so I was just like, this might sound fishy.
Starting point is 00:31:05 So I was just like, hey, I'm sorry I lied to you. I was actually like getting your gift for your birthday. And I don't know why I lie type of thing. But I just, and just in case she like saw me or a friend saw me, I just kind of panicked. But that was the first time I was, I looked at rings. So I looked at rings then. That was early August.
Starting point is 00:31:30 Really early, because I wanted the gifts. Yeah, and I kind of just went. I wanted to start looking. It wasn't like, hey, I'm getting engaged immediately, but I wanted to take my time looking at rings and things like that. Again, Natalie sets me up for success. Like I didn't really have to do a ton when it came to like picking it out.
Starting point is 00:31:54 Like Mary knew. Yeah, I had talked to Mary a lot. It was very much like which one does she like? All I told her, all I cared about was that it was gold like had a gold band and was an elongated cushion that's like all i wanted yeah and then nick and mary did the rest which should i just hold should i just be like this the whole time what do you mean oh and then wait and then and then i kind of like then in october uh mary flew back out she lives in san francisco because the first time i looked at rings it wasn't with mary it was with um another
Starting point is 00:32:33 wonderful woman who works at brilliant earth and then mary flew in where was i the second time yeah i think you were at work or something oh my god God. Yeah, I don't know what I told you or where I was. I do not like lying to her. I'm very uncomfortable with it. As you should be. Yeah. And then when we finalized the ring, that's when Mary and I set a date.
Starting point is 00:33:02 So Natalie's going to Paris this, tonight actually. So when you listen to this, she'll be in Paris. But so she's going to Paris with some friends. Her friend Destiny works for Nemeas and they're in Men's Fashion Week. And since we're working hard on our new studio, I couldn't make it with work.
Starting point is 00:33:22 So she's taking a girl's trip. Natalie kind of joked about getting engaged before she got, like before i go to paris i would like to have a big rock on my finger and she like said it in a very playful kind of joking way kind of checking in but i think i thought to myself actually that sounds like a pretty good idea and it was just like do i want to do it before or after and i thought well i want to do it before because i i assumed and i'm curious what you're going to say because i never asked you i assume that you because like you know we have this new studio that's taking up a ton of our time and work and she's going to paris and i'll be you know alone for a week so i thought she in her back of her mind was thinking I bet he starts planning and the studio will be done
Starting point is 00:34:07 I'm going to go to Paris and I thought you assumed that I would use that week to kind of plan the proposal and then I would do it sometime after Paris rather than before so because of that I wanted to do it before to throw me off to throw you off a little bit was kind of my plan is that accurate had you like thought about that? Not really. I feel like when I told you that I was like, would love to be engaged before Paris, I felt like you were like, you're heard, like I hear you.
Starting point is 00:34:34 And I was like, okay. Yeah. So I feel like I just like, but I was, it kept getting closer and closer. And I was really sad because I leave tonight and I'm like, I'm on such a high with Nick, obviously, after like this moment that I feel, I was like so in love with you, you know? So I don't really want to leave. And so I feel like maybe it would have been. I should have waited.
Starting point is 00:35:03 No. Oh, my God. No, no. I'm so happy. But I just am like sad to leave. I'm sorry. I should have waited. No. Oh my God. No. No. I'm so happy. But I just am like sad to leave. I'm sad. Maybe you're sad you're going to go too. Right.
Starting point is 00:35:11 I feel like we should get into like the high, like the day itself. Yeah. Like walk us through what was going on there, especially from your perspective, Natalie. So like two weeks before it happened, he was here at the studio and he texted me this flyer of the man named Otto screening with Tom Hanks. And it was like 6.30, cocktail party, 7.30 this, 7.45 Q&A with Tom Hanks. Thank you, Canva Pro.
Starting point is 00:35:40 Yeah, Canva. Shout out. So he sent it to me and said, Megan, who's his publicist thinks we should really go to this and i was just like okay like whatever that happens like sure invited to a lot of different things and sometimes it's like you know megan will often be like if you want to go go but like no big deal if you miss it and there are other things that she'll say this is pretty cool you know there's you know certain type of people are going
Starting point is 00:36:06 you might know people like this might be worth your time and so i i had megan kind of text natalie and kind of insist because my whole idea of even faking an event was i wanted her to get glam like i knew she wanted to look nice and special and like sometimes you do these events it's like i'm always telling her like it's not worth it like you know glam isn't cheap and so like you know if i kind of like you know what once in a while i'll treat natalie but for the most part if natalie wants to get glam like that's i pay for it it's like on natalie you know so it's like you know and so i'm always like which one like just you don't have to do. We don't have to get glammed every single time. It's just like not worth it. But so this one, like I, I wanted her to get glammed.
Starting point is 00:36:50 I wanted her to look her best. So I had to figure out how to like make sure she got glammed. And like this, it had to be some sort of like special event. And so like Megan is pretty good about being honest with those things. And so I texted Nick back and was like, okay, like, sure. I'm down. Like, should I get glam and he said ask Megan and we had another event that week that we were possibly going to go to and so I was going to get glam for the both of them and I was like that is an expensive week like I'm probably just going to do glam for the first one and then for this
Starting point is 00:37:21 man named auto screening I'll just have my friend who cuts my hair glenn ellis i was like i'll just have him curl it in the morning and then i'll do my own makeup like not worried about it she's like no no no no i think you should i'm i think you should really get glam for both like like this second one this man named auto is so intimate it's super like exclusive we're gonna push these photos everywhere like truly truly i think you need tom hanks gonna be there like you really need to get glam for this i'm like okay but like i don't want to pay for it she was like just tell like invoice nick like nick will pay for it i'm like and then i was just like well i'll pay for half i mean i'll pay for one of them is what i said you know which was like you pay for this other one i'll cover this other one so i was like uh i mean and
Starting point is 00:38:01 i the whole time also you were very casual you said that when you were here like this conversation happened Natalie was in studio and she was like yeah but Megan saying any glam like da da da and because you guys were debating if you were going to get invited to this thing on Tuesday and Nick just like off the cuff like and I'd watched him have conversation and phone call after phone call about all of this and it was so like just casual he's like if we get invited to both I'll pay for one of them and he kind of just like walked away and i was like you snake yeah i was trying to be very like i'm like blacking at my computer i'm like yeah yeah and so at that point so like that was the whole idea of the event and then and then i had a ton of help i mean like uh Megan, Keaton, her friend Destiny, like they helped.
Starting point is 00:38:47 I mean, I was really lucky to have- Keaton's mom. A ton of help. Keaton's mom. Yeah, Miss Shawna Collins. It's not her job. Like she definitely does not do party planning as her job. She just loves it and she's so good at it.
Starting point is 00:39:01 She's so good at it. She's so good. It's insane. So I was very lucky to have a lot of people like help me set up the day just because we have been working so hard at the studio um i was i was just very lucky and so you know megan reached like venue wise uh that's how venice we were looking at different places and then then Megan found Creative Studios in Venice and they were amazing.
Starting point is 00:39:27 It's like this kind of warehousey art gallery place and they were so great. They helped set up the whole thing. They were on it. And they helped facilitate all the things that we needed. They were amazing. And so, I mean, if you're ever hosting an event somewhere in Venice or in LA,
Starting point is 00:39:44 like think of Creative studios in Venice. Like I'm really like I'm so grateful for all the people who helped. And it was it was amazing. And then Victoria and Greg kind of like and so I started inviting people. Yeah. And so, you know, this is like how many I like I was like it was and I told people one at a time. Like it wasn't like sometimes it's like, hey, here's an invite. Tell people.
Starting point is 00:40:09 It was like, I'm telling you. I'm telling you only. Don't tell anyone. So, and that kind of worked out because everyone was like, I won't say anything. Because I didn't want people to start, oh, you're going. Oh, so and so. And kind of thinking who else is going. And then like I didn't want someone to find out who wasn't invited or or you know or just people because i i really did not want natalie to find
Starting point is 00:40:29 out um and so i started doing that and then yeah and then like greg and victoria it was like obviously uh natalie and victoria are very close and you know greg and victoria have become close friends as a you know as a couple and and it was like, oh, it makes sense. They often get invited to these types of events. So it was like, how do I distract Natalie? You know, how do I, you know, I don't want her to show up to this event and her ever be like, this is weird. Like this isn't a premiere. So we had extras.
Starting point is 00:41:00 Shout out to Victor who's done so much. My friend Victor also hired some extras and brought some extras. So when we showed up to this event, like they were already in line because it was like, and I told Natalie, like we had Megan tell her, Natalie, it was like this immersive experience of people are going to go in one at a time and things like that. So we got there, there were already people around, floating around. We checked in, like they had a fake check-in list.
Starting point is 00:41:24 And then I was like, oh wait, she has her purse. I didn't want her to walk in with her purse. So I text Megan while we were out to dinner. So we all went out to Felix Tortoria, is it in Venice for dinner before? And I'm like, she has her purse. And I'm like, oh, and I'm texting Megan. I'm like, you have to be, you have to figure out a way to not have her purse. So when we got there, they're like, purses are not allowed in this room. And they were just like, how did she say it?
Starting point is 00:41:54 She just said, I'm going to have to take your purse. There's no purses allowed. And I was like, oh, okay. And then the paid extra goes, yeah, she said that to me too. And like, this is my baby. Like, I don't like, don't take my purse. Yeah. Yeah. Like, thank God you guys live in LA. Yeah. She was in it.
Starting point is 00:42:08 And I was like, okay. And then this paid extra is talking about like the woman with the clipboard is like, so where is your plus one? She's like, he's coming. He's just parking. My boyfriend, he's this, he's that, like going on. Oh my God. Who is she?
Starting point is 00:42:20 And then another woman walks in. She's like, oh, I love your dress. I think she's like, are you going to the influencer party? I'm like, oh, did Tom? I don't know. Maybe. I was like, I really don't know where I'm at, to be honest. And then the lady was like, I checked back in with her.
Starting point is 00:42:35 And I was like, where are you going to keep my purse? Like, where I can get it? She's like, I'll just hold on to it. I'm like, OK. And then she looked at me and they're like okay we're ready for you you're ready so i walk in these people better have this on their resumes i want this list on imdb pro so good everyone was so so good yeah and one of the ladies looks at me and goes are you ready in front of the door and i'm like yeah i think so i don't know and she opens door. And the first thing that I see is a bright light on Jason Russ's video camera and Sarah taking photos.
Starting point is 00:43:10 So I'm like, what the fuck? I don't know. It's them, obviously, at the moment because I can't see behind. It's dark in there. But then there's 200 candles lit and laid across the entire warehouse floor and then a TV at the end. And it turns on and it's nick talking to me and he's telling me to like walk through the walkway stand in the middle of the center and there was like this loft so i got to go up and kind of walk her walk in then i'm just like sobbing at that point Um, yeah. And then, uh, we'll share the entirety of the video that I watched one day,
Starting point is 00:43:48 but it was about like four and a half minutes long. I'm sobbing. I have no idea where he is. And then at the end of the video, he's like, now, if you'll just look up in points. And so I look up and he's walking down the steps and he steps into the circle with me and he just says hey baby I said hey he said are you ready well first yeah first we hugged for a long time and then I just you know looked at her I'm like are you ready and then yeah and then I said a couple things down on one day but prior to that like we were still trying to milk it i was like so what are you going to say to tom hanks when you meet him and uh no maybe you asked me that i don't know i was talking about i yeah i wanted to know if like what this q a was like am i asking questions is press asking questions like what is this q a so i'm like what are we going to say to him
Starting point is 00:44:42 tom hanks's publicist found out i don't like I don't know if my publicist team told his, I don't know, they all know each other, but apparently, and she told Tom that we were using his name in his movie, A Man Collado. Go see it if you're out there.
Starting point is 00:45:00 And I guess he got a kick out of it. So again, thanks. He is also known to like show up at engagements. Imagine if he's like up in the loft with Nick. He's the one walking down the stairs. I would have. With a sign.
Starting point is 00:45:15 Like Tom, not now. I can't take this distraction. Yeah. But yeah. In the car ride back or I'm sure, you know, the party and everything, which we'll get into. But like when you did have moments where you could think to yourselves, like what were some of the first things going through your head in terms of knowing that you would be married? Like things you were looking forward to or feeling especially excited about? To be honest, like we were there.
Starting point is 00:45:39 We got proposed and I was thinking a lot about just like. She said it again. Yeah. We got proposed. Oh. We're pregnant and we got proposed. Okay. proposed and I was thinking a lot about just like she said she said it again yeah very proposed oh we're pregnant and we got proposed okay I did yeah I don't know I don't know either I feel like proposed just comes out easier but in that moment I was really obviously engulfed in us and I wasn't more like thinking about the future but I I was kind of having conversations with like my grandparents who had passed and just being like you would love this guy oh my
Starting point is 00:46:11 god I'm gonna freaking cry um crying i am also crying okay hold on will you talk about something uh sure uh the night before uh i remember because like i was i have i've been so busy with the studio and work and planning the proposal like i was i was running on fumes like i i felt like a couple times i almost had like not in a bad way just like an emotional breakdown i mean when we when we got dim sung the other night i was like i was on the verge of of of tears a lot well there was like uh like because every time I would think about it I was just like I'd start crying you know and and there was remember what did it meant did we go to now and I do this thing where early on when I started dating Natalie
Starting point is 00:47:17 you know we'd she likes to always ask me what I'm thinking and I learned this from like this is something I just have with my mom. When I was a kid, you know, I'm in my head a lot. I'm always in my head. And my mom just always, I think, wanting to be close to me and stay connected with me, she'd always ask me, what are you thinking about? And as most people do, especially, you know especially young boys, they would be like, nothing. And my mom would always say, you can't be thinking about nothing. And I told that to Natalie.
Starting point is 00:47:54 And so Natalie and I, we have this thing where we'll always ask each other. She always often asks me more than I ask her because like all the time I'm just like staring into like whatever. And she'll ask me like, what are you thinking? And no matter what, I always tell her exactly what I'm thinking, which is often just some random fucking shit.
Starting point is 00:48:14 I wonder, is Brad Pitt getting Botox? Is Brad Pitt? I wonder what the crazy stuff. But it's very specific. I'm literally thinking this and it would be like oh i was thinking about you know something that would do with work but it will be or a movie we just saw like we watched the menu and she might say what are you thinking about like i was just thinking about like why they didn't care about dying you know like
Starting point is 00:48:39 it's a thing we do so like no matter when she asks she knows i'm telling her the truth she knows exactly what i'm thinking even if it's the most random i just tell her the most basic things and so we were going to dinner it was that car ride you i was looking out the window and you asked me what i was thinking about and i was thinking about proposing to you and and i i because like i was I you asked me when I was thinking about it and I started tearing up and then you said what are you thinking about and I was like trying to like I was trying to think about something else and I just and so that whole week every time she asked me I
Starting point is 00:49:18 just steps I guess kept saying the studio the studio like I'm just busy with the studio and i started feeling bad because i felt like i was you know not being attentive to her even though the whole time i was thinking about like what i would say to you um like because and then every time and then the few people who asked me like what are you gonna do i couldn't get through like explaining how i would propose to people without getting choked up um and then the night before I I went out and got us some water we were in bed and I I had this I had the self awareness to it was just like me and Jeff because Jeff just follows me everywhere and it was just
Starting point is 00:50:01 you know the the house was dark and I got some water and i had the self-awareness to just like just take a moment and like think i'm i'm getting engaged tomorrow i just remember like kind of taking in like what i was feeling or thinking and then that you know the thought of like am i nervous am i worried like people like get cold feet or anything like that and i just remember thinking like no like i feel like great about this and i remember feeling like um and i told this to you the other day i remember i just like for the past several months you know when i would ensure when we meet new people like this is my girlfriend natalie it it like every time i would say this is my girlfriend natalie it felt wrong it felt
Starting point is 00:50:52 insufficient you know for like how i felt about our relationship or where we were in our relationship and i just remember that feeling of like i'm tired of calling her my girlfriend you know like i want like every time i send my girlfriend to people i i'm not accurately describing to these new people we meet like how what she means to me or where we're at in our relationship and so that was like a really good feeling um so yeah anyways that's what you're doing out there i remember being like neck and you came in i'm like what were you doing i thought you were just getting water and he's like sorry i was zoned out yeah jeff but i was just trying to like really i don't do that a lot i often don't take in the moment and just you know it was definitely like a moment of gratitude of like, I want to remember this
Starting point is 00:51:45 moment. I want to remember how I feel. I want to like talk about how great, like, I want to think to myself about like, you know, your average Wednesday night where like, you know, you have work the next day and you're just like trying to get your shit done so you can go to bed. You know, I had this thought of like, these are the moments we need to like try to like just appreciate because you know every day that goes by it's a day that we'll never have back type of thing and so yeah anyways what were you saying before when then you made me do all this sorry you asked if we like the time after if we had thought about our marriage yeah like what were some of the first things that came to mind when you knew that now that you knew marriage was like happening in such
Starting point is 00:52:31 a like tangible way I feel like the first time that I truly was able to think about it was like two nights ago when we got our engagement video back and we had seen it a couple times that day like it had been posted on instagram but i felt like i hadn't really like watched it and so and in bed that night i was like let's just watch it one more time and i pull it up and i've watched it also like i've watched it so many times yeah but I just was watching it and like sobbing because it just felt Jason just captured the way that I was feeling in that moment and I feel like it just he captured it so beautifully in a way that I feel like anytime we watch that back, we'll be right back in that field. We can relive that day so many times.
Starting point is 00:53:29 And so that was the night that I truly was like, oh my God, I am marrying this man and I'm spending the rest of my life with him. Because I feel like there was just such a rush that night that I was blacked out. I really did not. We got in the car and then we were in the car with Sarah the photographer and she was like editing the photos in the car because we're like we want to post these before we walk into this party and everyone's like congratulations like posting us there so I feel like there was just such a rush and then walking into that party and seeing my mom there like I lost it and seeing Ashley and Jared like if you see the video the facial
Starting point is 00:54:05 expression seems so dramatic but I was just so filled with joy and happiness and I feel like all the people who flew out and came together to celebrate us was such a beautiful thing that I just like couldn't control my emotions um And so throughout that entire party, I'm just like screaming and was so happy. And Nick came up to me several times and listen, I'm a genius, right? Genius, stunning, hilarious, so funny. But I have excessive sweat glands in my armpits relatable okay like i can have some bad bo here and there more often than not okay especially on a very sweaty night like that where i'm like nervous and shaking and so nick came up to me like she's
Starting point is 00:55:03 hugging everybody you know he came up to me at the party like twice and he's like i love you so much please go wash your bits it was with love it was just like i knew she was hugging people and i just like whispered in her ear i'm like just go put on some deodorant like yeah you did yeah um which i think you smell amazing always she makes me smell she does it too and she's like smell them you know when people are like this tastes disgusting try it i'll take your word for it like what the fuck i made you smell those nasty, like, what were those pills? Those, like, muscle relaxants? A lot of people do that. You smelled it.
Starting point is 00:55:47 And then you had Derek smell it. You just want to, like... I needed everyone to smell the muscle relaxants. Yeah. I just wanted him to know how bad I smelled and still love me. Yeah, well, I do. That's true love.
Starting point is 00:56:01 Yeah, I don't know. I didn't want her... I didn't want other people... No, it was nice. It was very nice. I'm glad you did it. You know, for me, it's different, right? You know, being older and having had relationships in the past, it's like, like, it really feels
Starting point is 00:56:15 like the first time I've ever, like, done this, you know? I mean, when I was 28, you know, the first time I would got, I proposed for all the wrong reasons, you know, and out of fear or the relationship going the wrong way. And, you know, Natalie asked me about that the next day, like, you know, how I felt, you know, it was just like, like I said, the moments ago, it's just like, like, this is how I've always wanted to feel like it's like how I've always imagined I would feel and how I how being someone who's been in a situation like this before had never felt you know I remember the first time when I was 28 and you know we got I remember the next morning waking up being like I think we made a huge mistake but like you know we got i remember the next morning waking up and being like i think we made a huge
Starting point is 00:57:06 mistake but like you know it was kind of deep down but you didn't want to actually say that to yourself because you know like you know sometimes you know you have a fear deep down you don't really say it out loud you can almost feel yourself pushing it down and then obviously the bachelor's experience is this whole unique animal um but i will say babe i've never said this to you but i i i do feel bad sometimes because you know i sometimes i feel like i like you've been so you're like you've never made me feel like i come with baggage but sometimes I feel bad that I feel like sometimes people you know drop off my my my baggage at your doorstep sometimes you know and I'm sorry about that some you know but you're you're always so good but like yeah you know am I making any sense just having... I mean, I don't consider it as baggage.
Starting point is 00:58:05 No, I know, but I just... I mean, everyone's been... The response, I mean, truly it's been a blessing and so many just from fans or comments, just truly when it comes to the internet, it's hit or miss, but truly people have been so wonderful and so kind and um just expressing you know um i don't know i can't think of the word but just everyone's been kind but then you just forget that you know i was
Starting point is 00:58:40 because i asked natalie it's just like, man, this is really just overwhelmingly positive. Natalie goes, well, someone did tag me in Reddit comments about her proposal. And then I was like, oh, yeah, I forgot about Reddit. Reddit exists, yeah. That world. But yeah, it makes me feel bad sometimes. It makes me feel bad that she has to
Starting point is 00:59:01 deal with some of that shit. I just don't want it to take away from her her moment you know her day and to be reminded of of choices i've made in the past and i don't have regrets or anything like that i truly am grateful like i i made an instagram post like i i truly think everything i've been through allows me to feel so appreciative of what I have and just the type of relationship that we have I just I've never Natalie's my longest relationship without a breakup you know my first girlfriend we did it off and on for seven years I was very young back and forth but you know it's like and it's gone by so fast and so seamless and
Starting point is 00:59:44 it's because of the work we put in and how we communicate. It just really makes me super appreciative. But I do, I do get bummed out sometimes that, you know, I don't want you to, to deal with that stuff. And that makes me sad that you get bummed out. No, I just, I just, I'm so, I'm so happy that you went through all of that stuff and it does not affect me whatsoever well that's good yeah i feel bad sometimes don't feel bad but then it hits like sometimes i see a comment it's just like who are these people come on guys yeah please but then your time for something else but then i remind myself i am deliriously happy in life uh truly i i'm so grateful of where i'm in in my life and from
Starting point is 01:00:28 the people around me obviously you two derek uh who you guys haven't had the pleasure of really getting to know i mean it's just like my friends and the people again who helped with the party and just like i i could not i'm i'm so happy with my life and i have been so happy the past few years obviously now he's been a big part of it and i'm just so grateful of of where i'm at and i'm so protective of it um and so when i see comments like that sometimes i mean i i i want i hope all those people can find what i've been able to find in life because I imagine there'll be far less insufferable. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:11 Or like thoughtless. Yeah. Yeah. But also just, again, thank you for caring. Have we covered everything? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:01:20 I love you. Oh, we are really enjoying calling each other fiance can confirm can confirm yeah we're here for all
Starting point is 01:01:30 their phone calls Nick's always like everyone can hear you like okay I'm kissing you it's fun I'm like fiance
Starting point is 01:01:36 fiance you're like alright honey the morning after obviously we were up super late we go to bed like 9.30
Starting point is 01:01:43 so we both feel kind of like hungover even if we don't drink we're just like were up super late, we go to bed like 9.30. So we both feel kind of like hungover even if we don't drink. We're just like staying up that late. Yeah, we got to bed at like 9.30. So we woke up and I was like, oh my God, my head. He's like, can I get you anything?
Starting point is 01:01:56 Some like water, ibuprofen? And I was like, yeah, and my ring. And then I was like every morning because I don't sleep in it. So I was like every morning because I don't sleep in it so I was like every morning if you'll just put it on me by getting on one knee and putting it on my finger.
Starting point is 01:02:10 Every day. Every morning. So far I have. He does, yeah. Well, when she's not, when she's half awake. Yeah. Anyway, I love you.
Starting point is 01:02:21 Love you too. This is the first time I've ever started even planning a wedding. Not that we haven't done much planning, but it's fun to already talk about it. It is fun to talk about. If you need to allocate any of my hours from this show to your wedding, feel free.
Starting point is 01:02:39 That will be all. You're welcome to help. It will not count. As hours. As hours. Okay. He's like, why aren't you in studio? I'm like, Natalie and will not count. As hours. He's like, why aren't you in studio? I'm like, Natalie and I are shopping. So sorry. I know how much you love it. Oh no.
Starting point is 01:02:53 Speaking of wedding help, we do have an extra special caller today who's looking for some advice pertaining to wedding planning and specifically dress shopping. So we figured what a perfect guest to provide some insight on this yeah and then uh yeah so we'll get through texting office hours and then uh after texting office hours i want you guys to meet my friend victor um who's done so
Starting point is 01:03:15 much to help this studio but also if you if you guys haven't heard of the beauty of vinyl and what it can do to transform a party of any kind absolutely it's blown my mind yeah it's really nuts i've anyway i for other people who are party planning or planning a special moment or event or a day and you haven't heard of vinyl i need you to know about it because i'm i'm intoxicated It completely just elevates. I mean like at our party, the details of like we walked in, there was this like silver checkered floor on the mirror. Right when you walk in, it said, congratulations,
Starting point is 01:03:54 Nick and Natalie on the floor next to a champagne thing. It said, we're engaged. Like there's just, it just elevates a party and the details that- Like when I had my book party that Natalie threw for me, my birthday party, that whole, that big poster board with the the book on it it was all anyways it's incredible and i i've just been fascinated by it i'm like this is what this is final how do you do this because it all looks yeah i don't know anyway victor's the type of person you just like trust
Starting point is 01:04:20 with your life probably that's how i feel about you just so you know i'd probably list you as my emergency contact he's a goddamn saint anyway uh we're gonna chat with after texting off his hours well uh i want to we'll chat with victor briefly and uh all right let's get to our caller how's it going good how are you good what's your name my name is cassie hi cass 28 nice to meet you cassie how can we help yeah so um i just wanted to know am i being Good, how are you? Good, what's your name? My name's Cassie. Hi Cass. I'm 28. Nice to meet you Cassie, how can we help? Yeah, so I just wanted to know, am I being dramatic for uninviting my grandmother and my great aunt to my wedding dress try-ons? Ooh, okay, how apropos.
Starting point is 01:04:58 Why, yeah, I guess, why don't you explain the situation and why you wanna uninvite them? Because it sounds like they've been invited. Now, did you, like, first question is, did you invite them? And now you've changed your mind? Or did someone else invite them? And you're kind of like, why did you invite them? Because that happens sometimes with parties.
Starting point is 01:05:18 You're just like, what, what, what? You know? Yeah, it's the second option. So it's my mom's mom and it's my grandmother's uh sister so she's my i call her my aunt she's my great aunt technically um my mom invited them without telling me and then like you know quote unquote ran it by me and was like hey like they're gonna be in town for the engagement party and since we're doing the wedding dress trial on the next day, I thought it'd be cool if they go.
Starting point is 01:05:46 And I was like, no, I actually don't want them going because I'm already having five people. And I feel like that's plenty of opinions. So I think I'm good. And she was like, well, I already told them that they can come. And I was like, well, then why are them that they can come. And I was like, well, then why are you asking me if it's okay?
Starting point is 01:06:07 If you already made the decision for me, this is your mom. So this is my mother. Yeah. This is my mother. Great. And then what did mom say? So,
Starting point is 01:06:19 you know, I basically was like, why did you invite them without consulting with me first? And she was like, well, because I didn't think it was going to be a big deal. I didn't think you were going to react this way. And I was like, okay, well, you know, I basically was like, why did you invite them without consulting with me first? And she was like, well, because I didn't think it was going to be a big deal. I didn't think you were going to react this way. And I was like, okay, well, you know, this is why you ask before you just do things you don't, you know, the whole ask for forgiveness is not really in applicable here.
Starting point is 01:06:38 And she was like, well, you know, I didn't think it was a big deal. And you're inviting, you know, your fiance's family, and you're inviting your friends So, and I said, okay, so are you just expecting me to uninvite two people? Because not only is it a personal preference of like, I don't want that many opinions to be involved. Um, but it's also, there's capacity limits for the shops, you know, and I kind of checked with them already before because five is kind of a high number and their limits are like seven, like five to seven. And this would put me at, I'm actually, I think I'm actually having six people if I'm not mistaken. So this would put me at eight, which would be over anybody's capacity limit.
Starting point is 01:07:18 And I was like, you know, not only do I not want them there because of opinions, but there's, you know, the shops are also going to have a problem with this. So you probably should have asked me first so that, you know, at least if I was going to consider it, they could let me know if that's going to be okay or not, because I don't want to be turned away the day of. Is, is grandma like in a, is she known to be an opinionated person? Kind of. My mom is worse.
Starting point is 01:07:44 No, it's not, it's not so much that she's like, she, she will definitely share her opinion, but it's just, so I have been engaged previously a couple of years ago and I've done my wedding dress shopping before. And, um, I, that was in the midst of COVID. It was June of 2020 when I, when I went dress shopping that time. So because of COVID the shops were letting people in, but it was very minimal capacity, like three to four people. And at that time I had three people come with me. And even that was overwhelming. Like just because you're so like overwhelmed with emotions during that day. And there's so many options and you've got everybody telling you like what looks good on you and what doesn't, but like, how do you feel?
Starting point is 01:08:22 And it's just a lot. And I'm known to get very like overwhelmed very fast. So I think it was more so that then I'm not, I'm not necessarily scared that she's going to give me like all these unnecessary opinions, but it's more so like, even just like the, oh, I don't like that. Or that one's okay. Or that one looks really great on you. And what if I don't't like it I feel like it's also like your friends would have more of a similar taste to what you would like or know better what you like versus your grandma and your great aunt yes and and to to add to that too like just a side note is my grandma lives in Missouri um I'm from California and I just moved to Texas in October. So I'm doing this all in California when I go home in June. And so apparently my grandma was, you know, flying out there for the engagement party, but her and I are not like by any means close. I mean,
Starting point is 01:09:18 to the point where I didn't even get a call congratulating me on my engagement from her. I didn't even get a call congratulating me on my engagement from her. So I'm not really sure where this like excitement is coming to like come wedding dress shopping for me. If you don't even have the decency to call me like. Not even excitement, just like the expectancy to like be at your wedding dress. Yeah, exactly. Apparently she talks to my mom about it all the time, but not to me.
Starting point is 01:09:42 And I would think, you know, I'm the fiance, I'm the bride bride to be like i should be the one getting the calls like oh my gosh i'm so excited for your wedding blah blah blah but instead she talks to my mom about it and then my mom relays to me and i'm like okay i don't think she's being dramatic does anyone disagree we're on the same page okay so i thought that was pretty clear it's your day and so i think we all agree that we need to figure out a way to uninvite grandma and auntie. But my question to you is, what are you most anxious about? Is it disappointing grandma or is it disappointing your mom or having a conflict with your mom because you want to uninvite them and you're not sure about how to do that?
Starting point is 01:10:23 And is your expectation that your mom uninvites them and you're not sure about how to do that. And like, is your expectation that your mom uninvites them because she invited them? Or do you feel like she won't necessarily have you back your back and communicate the message that you want, which in the obvious, the obvious message, the obvious excuse is capacity, right? So it's like, hey, listen, I overstepped. I spoke too soon. I didn't mean this. I'm assuming what your mom should say. I didn't realize there's a capacity limit. Unfortunately, like you can't come,
Starting point is 01:10:53 send them to a spa or whatever the fuck, you know. We'll FaceTime you. Yeah, we'll FaceTime you or something. We'll send you pictures. But like, there's just, you know, and it's just really important for her to have her girls there. And, you know, the people that you are close with and i personally for me i have no problem
Starting point is 01:11:09 disappointing people yeah i guess yeah i have no problem disappointing people if i feel like it's just you know like i don't want to hurt people it's just like i don't have i don't feel guilt if if if people think if people have an expectation of me that i don't have, I don't feel guilt if, if, if people think, if people have an expectation of me that I don't subscribe to, or I don't feel like I need to give, I guess I'm fine with being like, well, okay. But I'm curious, other people that's harder for like other people are just like, I don't want to disappoint anyone. Like, where are you on the scale of, of making people happy versus like knowing that you're justified for feeling the way you do and then letting the chips fall where they may
Starting point is 01:11:49 and and again what's your expectation or anxiousness around how this should be told and the drama that could unfold by you enforcing this boundary so i think i kind of fall more towards the like i don't give a fuck side. Great. Good for you. With most things in life. Yeah. However, when it comes to like, I go to therapy frequently and I've been working on boundaries with my parents because I had a hard time with that.
Starting point is 01:12:16 So when it comes to boundaries, you know, it's a newer trait that I'm working on, but I'm pretty good about it. So I feel like, you know, initially I voiced my opinion and was just like, no,, initially I voiced my opinion and was just like, no, this is not going to work. However, like the way she said, oh, well, I didn't expect you to react this way. I kind of felt the same. I was like, well, I didn't expect you to react so offensively when I said no, like it's my day. It's about me and who I want there, not who you want there. So I definitely would expect
Starting point is 01:12:45 because she's the one who invited to be the one to disinvite, um, whether that happens or not, I don't know. Um, I think, I also think like, is this the hill that I want to die on? You know, we're not getting married for another year and a half. We have a long engagement road ahead of us, where my parents are helping a lot, you know, financially, uh, with this wedding. And obviously I want my mom a part of every piece of my wedding. And I feel like this early on that if we have this conflict and this disagreement, she doesn't essentially get her way. We might, it might affect things later down the line and not by any doing of me,
Starting point is 01:13:31 but maybe by resentment on her end because she can kind of tend to be that way. Yeah. Which you can totally do. And I'm sure like the venue will make it work. If you're like, I'm sorry, we have one more,
Starting point is 01:13:41 right? Like that's definitely an option to just quote unquote, suck it up and not let it get to you. I don't want you to agree to this out of fear, especially when it comes to your mom, because like that's when you could feel that resentment. Mike, how did that, when you confronted your mom about this, how did it end?
Starting point is 01:14:00 Like where, you know, you said, hey, like, you said what you said and your mom said, well, I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd be upset. How did that conversation end? We do actually also have some text messages that seemed like the moment of confrontation. Okay. Who wants to do a dramatic reading? I think I should sit this one up.
Starting point is 01:14:18 No. You don't want to try on dresses? I just feel like we have some very capable, wonderful women in this room that can. I feel like Natalie should obviously be playing the role of bride. Yes. I can be mother. Great. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:14:31 Okay. I am mother. Okay. So I think maybe. So for context, it starts with me as mother sending an Amazon link to some paddle boards. No. No. Oh, yes. Oh, my my god i'm already absolutely not
Starting point is 01:14:48 and we're not bringing paddles what's the backstory like so it's like go ahead take it away yeah so this is what actually where the kind of the confrontation started at the beginning of this day so i you know like i said i'm in texas so I'm two hours ahead. And so I go to sleep earlier than she does. I wake up to these messages of this Amazon link of these like paddle dry erase paddles. And she's like, I'm going to get these for your dress try on and we're going to vote on your dress. And I said, absolutely not. No, this is not dancing with the stars.
Starting point is 01:15:20 So sorry, mom. Yeah. I was like, um, I don't, you know, I don't know what I said, but I kind of like, I kind of went back and forth in the messages where I was like, I don't know how I feel about that, but I'll think about it. And then I said, it should be fine. And then I said something like, you know, I actually not okay with that because you know, I have like body dysmorphia, you know, just like every other girl in the world these days and I already have a hard time with like being nervous about how I'm going to look in a wedding dress and making sure that I'm
Starting point is 01:15:49 comfortable and I really don't want you know like America's Next Top Model well that's the thing there's a huge difference between sharing an opinion and writing it on a paddle and holding it up like it just makes you feel like you're a spectacle and not a human being exactly yeah and that's no yeah that's kind of what I said I was like you know I don't I'm not really comfortable with that um I don't really want to sit there and be judged or like what if someone that like what if I love the dress and someone writes on their paddle that they hate it and then I'm gonna be swayed to like, not like it because someone likes it or vice versa. And I was just like, eh, like, no. And she was respectful of that. She was like, okay, like, no big deal.
Starting point is 01:16:30 We don't have to do that. And I was like, okay, cool. Like, we're done with that. And then we moved on later in the day when I was at work to her saying, like, I invited Grandma Pam and Aunt Cindy to your wedding dress try on and i was like oh uh okay and i feel like maybe this would be a great place to pick up the text that will be um the top yes yeah yeah i'm talking to gma pam and she's gonna come for your engagement party to try on dresses but aunt cindy will aunt cindy will be there too so there will be a lot of people if that's okay i love how she started i did this yeah if that's okay if that's okay yeah well
Starting point is 01:17:12 exactly that's why i was like okay so are you asking for forgiveness or permission i'm confused responses oh i don't think we can have that many people there there's a limit at each shop and i'm at the limit already well your family your family comes first, IMO, in my opinion. Um, okay. Why would you say it like that? So you're expecting me to uninvite my friends who I already asked to be there for me because she had decided out of the blue to show up? Yeah, I am. And it's not out of the blue. It's six months away. So why did you ask in your first text, is that OK? If when I say no, you're going to tell me too bad. I mean, you're having grooms, mom and sister going because I didn't expect you to react this way.
Starting point is 01:17:54 I'm at work. I don't have time for this right now. I'll think about it and decide what I want to do. She thought she had to use a travel voucher by March 25th and it's May. And she just told me they won't turn it in. They won't turn people in they won't turn people away if you have more than the quote limit how does she know that yeah like yeah what and so in the midst of all this I'm at work and I'm really busy uh but I'm trying to like message
Starting point is 01:18:17 all the shops I'm going to four places and I'm like messaging them what's your like capacity limit for for guests and they were all very understanding like you said nick like hey if you have one extra it's not a big deal just know that like at one shop they were like well we only have seating for seven so one person will have to stand and i was like well grandma you're standing because you wanted to come last minute and i understand it's six months away but still like i have already like i'm very you've booked it you've planned it yeah yes like i have asked my two bridesmaids to be there i have asked my future in-law sister-in-law and mother-in-law to be there like which is such a lovely gesture and i love when people do that
Starting point is 01:18:55 so the fact that your mom turned around and like weaponized it of well you're inviting his mom and sister that's a huge great gesture yeah to include them so good for you sorry mom and they and they are not like they're also traveling from ohio to california for this weekend event like our engagement party the dress try on like they're not it's not like they live local but they are traveling across the country as well so you know i don't know all right so yeah so that's when the text end right and then uh when i get off work because i don't text her back i call her and i'm like listen we need to we need to squash this we need to figure this out because i'm not trying to have tension with you and i'm you know i'm trying to do all the things my therapist tells me to do yeah i was gonna say like i pick up the
Starting point is 01:19:44 phone and like yeah but yes you did that but i was at work so you know i had'm trying to do all the things my therapist tells me to do. Yeah. I was going to say like, pick up the phone and like, yeah, but you did that. But I was at work. So, you know, I had to wait a couple hours. I call her on my way home and I'm like, listen, you know, we need to talk about this. So I first bring up the paddle thing. I'm like, I'm not cool with this. Here's why. And she says, okay, I understand. I didn't mean to make you feel that way. And I said, and I know you probably didn't have bad intentions with it, but this is how it makes me feel. And she says, totally fine. No paddles, like bad idea. And I was like, okay, great. Moving on. She goes, well, before you bring up the grandma thing, let me say something. And then you might not even have to say your piece. And I'm like, okay. So she's like, you know, I just feel like it's really
Starting point is 01:20:20 important that your grandma is there. I had her there for my dress trial and I had my grandma there for my dress trial and I'll never forget that day. And I said, okay, fair enough. But in case you forgot, I have been engaged before. And when I tried on dresses that time, where was this energy? Where was this excitement? Where was this need to be there? And this desire to be a part of this day? Why can't we FaceTime her? Why, like, why does she have to be there present? She's like, well, you know, because it was during COVID. I said, okay, well, she didn't even ask to be FaceTimed or to get videos of my dress, or she didn't even, she didn't even know if she was going to come to the wedding. Like she had
Starting point is 01:20:58 said, oh, I don't know. So where was this energy last time versus this time? Like now she's all like gung ho about being a part of everything. And we're not even close. Like, and I told her, you know, she hasn't even called me to congratulate me about our engagement that happened in November. And this conversation happened in December. Like, I don't know. I don't understand. I really, I'm, I really don't understand. So we were on the phone. She ended up getting mad, giving me attitude. I said, listen, I'm not going to sit here and let you talk to me that way. You know, we can talk with two adults or we don't have to talk at all. We, you can call me back when you
Starting point is 01:21:35 calm down. So I ended up getting off the phone with her. I'm like, you can call me back later when you're ready to talk. So about 20 minutes later, I'm driving and 20 minutes later, my phone rings again. She calls me. Okay. I'm sorry. Like, let's, let's talk. So then we start talking again. Same thing. She's just like, it's really important for me. It's really important for me. And I'm like, it's not your day. You have already been married. Like, this is my turn. It's my day. Um, and we're like going back and forth And I'm just like, I just don't understand why you would invite somebody without asking me first. Cause had you asked me first, I would have told you no. And you wouldn't have been in this predicament of needing to uninvite her. And she said, well, if you're going to say no, then you have to call her and uninvite her.
Starting point is 01:22:16 And I was like, no, I don't because I didn't invite her. So we ended up like yelling at each other on the phone i just like lost it i lost all my therapy tricks and um here we go inner child gotta say something yeah i just was like freaking out so hangs up on me and then that's where the text resumed all right you've got to be kidding me lol when you decide to act like the 50 year old woman you are, you can call me back to finish the conversation. And if you choose not to do that, I'll take that as a sign that you don't want to be involved in me choosing a wedding dress. And that will speak volumes about you. Choice is yours. Please don't talk to me in that passive aggressive manner. Can I interject one here? Just real pet peeve of mine. When people like,
Starting point is 01:23:25 no, that's an aggressive manner. You were pretty direct. It's not passive aggressive. When people like misuse passive aggressive, it's just like, that's not passive aggressive. You're being very direct. I would call that aggressive. I don't know. Just a note. It's just like, mom doesn't know what passive, it's just like, you guys were yelling at each other. How was that passive aggressive? I don't know. People do that all the time. It was full blown crazy. It's like, why are you being passive aggressive? I'm like, I'm literally telling you exactly how I feel. Yeah. That is direct.
Starting point is 01:23:37 Anyway, sorry. So direct. I needed to just get that out. No, that's a good point. Thank you for letting me share. I don't care how old you are. I'm still your mom. And if you want respect, then you need to give it. Don't tell me you're going to nix anything because if you don't want me there, then all you have to do is say so.
Starting point is 01:23:50 Don't threaten me, please, because as much as I love you and want to be there, you treating me the way you do and acting like I'm bringing some stranger is not OK. I'm the first to say she's not the, quote, ideal grandma. She wasn't the, quote, ideal mom to me either and still isn't. But she's getting older and she's literally the last grandparent you have left and you're only 28. So instead of making comments about her not calling and congratulating you, who cares? She said it to you on Facebook like so many others. You really hurt my feelings with the things that you were saying, because if it was your dad's mom who wanted to go, you would never have said, no, sorry, we are at our limit. No, sorry, we're at our limit was quoted, which I think is important.
Starting point is 01:24:30 And if you did, I would feel the exact same way because no matter if you see your grandparents in a daily talk to them weekly or rarely, if they want to be there for a special day for you, then you should be open to that. I think you're just upset because you think I needed to run it past you. And if it was a friend of mine, then yeah, I would. But it's not. It's your grandma and my mom. Also, for you to say I can invite my friends to the wedding, you don't even want the cousins you literally grew up with there because they didn't congratulate you or don't follow you
Starting point is 01:25:02 on social media. So why would I invite my friends to the wedding? If I did do that, then I'd hate to see how you acted towards me when you act like this when I invited your own flesh and blood to try on wedding gowns. But like I said, if you want to try them on in Houston alone, in brackets, your words, not mine, then you're a grown woman. You can do what you want, but I'm not going to be threatened by you or walk on eggshells because it's your dress try on day. I thought it would be special to have your grandma there with you
Starting point is 01:25:30 because you should know that tomorrow isn't promised to anyone. And I know having Nana and my mom there with me trying on dresses is a day I'll never forget and I'm happy to have had it. Where are we now with mom never forget and I'm happy to have had it. Where are we? Where are we now with mom?
Starting point is 01:25:50 A mom and I are fine. It was kind of brushed under the rug. This happened three days before Christmas. Yeah. So, like I said, I live in Texas now and she lives in California. So I didn't travel home. We've never had plans to travel home for Christmas. Nobody had plans to travel to us cause they were just here in November for our engagement. Um, so yeah, we were, I mean, it definitely put like a damper on Christmas a little bit, like some tension, but I'm, I just was like, we're just gonna table this for now. So what does your gut tell you after all of this drama for now so what does your gut tell you after all of this
Starting point is 01:26:26 drama like what does your gut tell you uh is the best thing for you to do for your internal like peace of mind going forward thinking about your entire engagement and your ability to enjoy this whole process. And again, I want you to think about what I just asked you. Big picture, what's going to allow you to not necessarily be right or win, what's going to allow you to have the calmest peace of mind going forward? I think, like I said earlier, I thinking like, is this the hill that I want to die on with my mom? Is this, because I highly doubt this will be the last, you know, disagreement we have about something that it has to pertain to my wedding. I think, honestly, this is not the hill that I want to die on. I think I can be really good about just blocking them out and just focusing on yourself. Focusing on your friends.
Starting point is 01:27:25 Yeah. Yes. And focusing on, I mean, really focusing on my two best friends that are there. Of course, I'm happy, you know, my future in-laws will be there and stuff. But I'm most excited for my two best friends to be there with me because they've been, you know, with me through everything. They're like 10 year plus friendship. So they're really important.
Starting point is 01:27:46 everything. They're like 10 year plus friendship. So they're really important. And I just really think like, like I said, this is just not the hill that I want to die on because I don't think this will be the last, you know, little disagreement, big disagreement, whatever it may be that my mom and I have, because we are very similar in personalities. I think the only difference is that I've gone to therapy to work on some of those personality traits and she has not sure um so i'm a little better at you know mitigating them or like calling and being like let's talk like adults and she's like i just want to scream at you and i'm like okay in the future just say can we talk don't say can we talk like Don't say, can we talk like adults? Because that comes across as very condescending. Sure. But more or less condescending. And it's, I mean, it's just going to trigger,
Starting point is 01:28:32 you're setting your, if you're trying to talk like adults, you are, you're suggesting that she's not and that you had to be the adult, whether she is or isn't, I get it. But like, if you're, if your goal is a productive and healthy conversation, that's just a small note. Right. So I have two thoughts. I'd love to hear what you ladies think, but like, it sounds like you're leaning towards just like allowing this to happen. I still, if you do allow it to happen, I still think you should use this as an opportunity to kind of reset expectations with mom going forward. And maybe it's just like, Hey mom, again, I just want to talk to you about this. Like first and foremost,
Starting point is 01:29:10 like I just, anytime you're like dealing with conflict, I think it's always good to just lead that conversation with like, I just want you to know how much I love you. I want you to know how appreciative I am of you, how grateful I am of whatever it is you and her and your dad are doing. And just start there. That's always a better place to start a conversation rather than let's talk like adults. You know what I'm saying? So like that.
Starting point is 01:29:34 Yeah. So I would do that and just say, Hey, listen, like I just really want to enjoy this. I was engaged before. It wasn't the best experience. It really is a lot. It's so
Starting point is 01:29:45 important for me to enjoy this. And I really want you to enjoy it with me. Would it be okay if going forward that you just like just any ideas you have, I would love to hear. And I want to, as my mom, I want, this is also, you know, in some ways your experience too. You know, it's definitely my day, but I do want you to feel like you're a part of this. But all I'm asking is that just check with me. Let's just do this together. Can you please just open up to me and talk to me about any ideas you have? And let's just talk about it because it's not so much
Starting point is 01:30:25 that, you know, that they were invited. It's just like, it certainly wasn't my first choice, but like, I just didn't like that you just presumed for me. And I was a little uncomfortable with it. Like I'm fine with letting it happen, but going forward, can we avoid stuff like this by you just talking to me through this? And I'm also asking that if I do disagree with you, that you just like recognize that, like, you know, allow me to have, allow me to be a little selfish because it is my wedding and I'm hoping that's okay. And so you're just kind of asking her rather than telling how she should ask and just seeing if she'd be okay with that. And I think that could go a long way to
Starting point is 01:31:05 preventing any further conflict by using this opportunity. You're giving her the win, but you're simultaneously saying, going forward, could we communicate like this? And can we talk like that? And when we have conflict, can you do this and that? And I think hopefully that could go a long way. I think that that could be productive. I think that she does have a tendency to kind of, you know, not ask for permission, but ask for forgiveness. Like I said, she kind of did a similar thing with my sister's baby shower, which I won't get into, but she invited someone and then had to uninvite because she didn't ask my sister first. Have you called her out on that?
Starting point is 01:31:46 Be like, hey, it's just- Oh, yeah. Okay, you have. Then I think a good way to just get through the day itself is to like let your two best friends know what's going on if you haven't already and just have them be kind of a buffer. Like if your grandma starts to like be too much or whatever, they can be like, okay, well, like anyways anyways we love it like we think this and they can just kind of shift it off of grandma and aunt to make it a little bit yeah i would like i would go to your your two besties and
Starting point is 01:32:14 kind of almost ask them can you run the show you know and i would tell your besties knowing that you can trust them i would describe to them like how this day could go perfectly, how you want to experience. Like, you know, like the mom had the paddleboard idea. Like everyone's different. Like some people, like some people when it comes to fashion and taste,
Starting point is 01:32:35 like know what they want and they just want like people to either, you know, kind of guide them or just be their cheerleaders. Other people are just like, I don't fucking know, like walk me through it. And so I would tell your best friends like what what you want this experience to be and
Starting point is 01:32:49 what type of feedback you're looking for so that they can kind of you know let let everyone know you know and more more importantly be quick to like be the louder voices in the room so that you feel like you're enjoying it and let and let your best friends kind of run one run the group and i think that can help you enjoy your day the best and even if it's like them reminding or like setting a rule up front like the most the the thing that i did like about your mom's text is that she said oh we'll do the paddles after you share your opinion that's i think just like a rule for everybody. Yeah. The second those curtains open,
Starting point is 01:33:28 you wait for the bride to say something and then you can contribute. Like they always get the first word. They always say what they like about it, what they don't like about it, what they're uncertain about. Like that should just be a rule. And I also think like on the topic of rules,
Starting point is 01:33:43 like if there's specific like things that you know are like triggering or just kind of like start to tiptoe into the like atrocious body dysmorphia hellscape that exists in my brain too like i think if there's certain phrases that you want to let your friends know about so it's even if it's like well you're getting ready for the next one and you're gonna like say something to the group they can just like shut it down really early just or not even specific phrases, but just general, sort of the genre of the kinds of comments that are just no-go territory and just kind of even maybe setting them up as ground rules, being like, I'm so excited to have you here. I cannot wait to hear your opinions. It would be
Starting point is 01:34:17 really helpful if you could share X, Y, Z, some stuff that I think would make this day a little bit tougher for me or this. And then the one other thing I was going to say is that for me personally sometimes with like body dysmorphia stuff one thing that I find kind of helpful in addition to like all of the love and confidence and acceptance is being like people pay billions of dollars so that way I feel bad about my body and they can profit off of it like I like sometimes channeling that anger in moments where I'm really feeling at a loss and like just really kind of wrecked with it and saying like, no, people want me to feel this way so that way they can profit off of me. And I'm not going to let them profit off of my insecurities. And like I know myself and these like billionaires do not get to decide how I feel
Starting point is 01:34:58 about my body when I'm trying on dresses. Like that's something that's really helpful for me. And so maybe it will be helpful for you. I love that. I've never thought about it in that way. Yeah. I think that's, that's amazing advice. And yeah, as a friend, I love it when my friends give me permission to play bad cop and you know, when they give me the green light to just, so I don't know who your, your friend's personality, but like, just say like, I need you guys to run the show. I need you to, you know if need be. But these are my expectations. And help me have the best day possible. And I give you guys permission to help enforce some of my boundaries
Starting point is 01:35:33 so I can enjoy my day. And my guess is your friends will be down. They would absolutely. They're very outspoken people. And just kind of have fun with it. Like, you know, maybe, you know, if grandma pops off or even mom, you guys can kind of, you know, talk up, you know, just be like, Oh, she did it. You know, it can't be fine. Here we go. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:35:55 You can do that and like just have fun with it or whatever. But as far as mom goes, do your best to try to keep setting those expectations and just letting her know and you know it's just like you just mom wants to feel special you know mom wants to feel important you know and so when she's being selfish try to find ways to make her feel like she's getting what she wants all while you know making sure you set expectations. And just doing that by gas her up and make her, just compliment the shit out of her. That usually goes a long way with, I think, parents.
Starting point is 01:36:35 There's also so many more events. Your bridal shower, there's just so many more, bachelorette trip, so many more things that go into this that like don't let this ruin trying on wedding dresses and just final thought like don't let any history with your mom make a bad situation worse you know sometimes when like people who do the same shit over and over and when they do it it just kind of irritates you you're like fucking do it you know like you know and then you let it eats you up like
Starting point is 01:37:03 when it comes to your wedding and your engagement don don't, don't let that make it your frustrations compound because mom's doing it again or mom's not listening, you know, just like let it wash off and brush it away and then, and then deal with that later. But don't let it compound a frustrating situation. Cause there's a big difference between accepting something and giving up and you're not giving up or losing this fight. You're choosing to accept it in a way that's very impressive. I'm just choosing
Starting point is 01:37:29 to be the bigger person. Absolutely. Once you've gone to the dress fitting and everything, let us know how it goes and send us an update. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:37:35 Yes, I would love to be on an update episode. Oh, we'd love to have you. Let us know. All right. Well, take care. Congratulations. Thank you for calling.
Starting point is 01:37:42 We wish you all the best. Thank you. Bye. Take care. Victor, get on take care. Congratulations. Thank you for calling. We wish you all the best. Thank you. Bye. Take care. Victor, get on in here, Victor. Come sit down. Victor, Victor, Victor, Victor, Victor, Victor, Victor, Victor. Victor!
Starting point is 01:38:03 This studio was brought to you by, in a big part, The King of Aesthetics. The King of Aesthetics. He, The King of Aesthetics. He built this desk. Oh, look. He mounted the TV. Victor, I'm so grateful for everything you've done for us and continue to do, but just tell me about your company and vinyl
Starting point is 01:38:18 and just tell our audience all the ways that you could make their special moments or their friends' special moments even that much more magical with all the things that you do when it comes to party planning and vinyl and things like that because I don't think I think most people just aren't aware of what you provide and I was blown away by it and I just I just think it's such a lifesaver when it comes to it just seems like you can elevate a party way more affordably and efficiently than with other options when it comes to like what you do uh with your company it's old school it's always been around everything people okay when i say the word vinyl yeah what do you mean because when you people think record exactly that's what i thought okay i was like oh i don't know i don't play records so the name of the company's laced vinyl shop you have an instagram so yes so they think it's laced vinyl shop that's the actual yeah but i spelled it old school spell it spell
Starting point is 01:39:19 laced is like the word decal spelled backwards. And then vinyl is not a record. And then shop, S-H-O-P-P. Classy. Because it's easier that way. Stickers are everywhere. I mean, if you ever go anywhere and something is not covered in a sticker, a brand or on the door, in the bathroom, on your car, some of y'all probably still have it on your refrigerator when you bought it brand new we do all that um when he was talking about the branding and elevating your event i have not seen one single wedding one single birthday one single anything that didn't have
Starting point is 01:39:57 something printed so about 15 years ago we decided to go from car wraps and vehicle stuff which I mean I love you car wrap people don't get me wrong but 24 hours to 48 hours on a car or four hours on a party I rather do that in a heartbeat see the table it may be for Valentine's Day Nick wants me to make this covered in hearts it'll take me like 30 minutes and this whole table will be covered in hearts um this back wall you can see it here because it's textured but we could have printed this whole wall and you would have never known the difference but yeah you can like wrap doors they had floors when that the shot when we got engaged if you look there's like it looks like a like a
Starting point is 01:40:49 disco floor when we walked in and they like planned a shot that was all vinyl that they laid down and they just like put it's like a i guess yeah just a giant sticker just a giant sticker if we if nick opened up a company we would call it big ass sticker yeah love it when we threw natalie's birthday party victor came and so we made like this Big Ass Sticker. Yeah. Love it. When we threw Natalie's birthday party, Victor came and so we made like this DJ booth and we just put like, it was like what, styrofoam? Just foam. Just foam and then we wrapped it around. We took this like plastic
Starting point is 01:41:14 tabletop that we got at Walmart and then we basically taped foam around it and they put like the whole stick around it and it looked like this professional DJ booth desk that had you know Natalie and Keaton's birthday
Starting point is 01:41:27 and then they wrapped the top you know they wrapped a taco truck or whatever and then they had cornhole you play cornhole
Starting point is 01:41:34 they wrapped the cornhole with their names and everything it just like it customizes everything and it's just like it makes such a cool experience like you've done
Starting point is 01:41:42 wedding floors where you put the dance floor dance The dance floor. Dance floor. Dance floors. And it looks like the whole venue was retiled to have a custom logo of the couple in the center. And it's actually your work.
Starting point is 01:41:52 You've worked with an existing space to create that in a short amount of time. It's so impressive. Yeah, it looks like they custom built an entire building with your, it could be pictures of you, your names or things like that. It's really just
Starting point is 01:42:05 incredible hollywood magic movie magic yeah i think vinyl is versatile i think it comes white it comes clear and then you put an image on it when i first started vinyl like if you pan out if you look at the backdrop i used to do vinyl that was never printed when i first started i didn't own a printer i was i was poor it was just a cutter so all these would be cut out individually and hand laid so if you go back and you look oh their engagement floor that was all individual squares of silver mirror chrome it wasn't a printout yeah we had to lay that in pieces yeah um that's why i had to go around the backyard i was like well oh yeah i don't need to ruin this i like opened your front door and i was like going back out i was like so sorry on my knees down on the ground here she comes
Starting point is 01:42:56 yeah it's it's intense but the creativity level it's's... Endless, I feel like, yeah. They don't have to be here. I could have made cardboard cutouts of them. That move. The move. You don't have to try on dresses. I'll just make a silhouette of you. And you'll put dresses on it. And you'll just...
Starting point is 01:43:17 You could stand there and look at yourself getting dressed and be like, oh, I like that. And then we'll bring in a little Nick, him on the side. So if anyone's planning a wedding or a party and they want to elevate it and get vinyl, what do they just DM you? Kind of sex my phone numbers on Instagram.
Starting point is 01:43:35 So you can kind of, it is easier to call me because if I don't want to talk to you, I kind of just hang up. And block your number. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The idea of calling someone or talking to me, it's more personable. I think it's good.
Starting point is 01:43:49 You could just call me. You can DM me if you want, but I don't look at DMs. So call Victor. So call Victor. Just call me. Tell him about your party, about your wedding.
Starting point is 01:43:58 Yeah, and then... And get ready because the ideas start flooding. The ideas flow from that point. Yeah, once you start one thing, unless you're getting married in like two weeks, it's gonna just, it's gonna morph. I mean, if any of y'all have ever seen your friends get married,
Starting point is 01:44:15 they have like a Pinterest and Etsy and then all of a sudden it turns into a vision board and then some kind of book and then like their friends are pinning and then it's just like how many weddings are you having so it's it's whatever you want it to be at the end of the day if you want me to put fairies on the ground and butterflies or a little ocean and you want to walk across it it's done if you want if you want to get a studio and just transform everything and get married inside of a square well that's the idea guys you're getting married more than anything is that
Starting point is 01:44:53 this room what victor makes he makes like what you think is either impossible or too expensive very realistic yes that's kind of how i felt when i got to know you but listen i'm just super grateful for everything you've done like victor is a person who we met through mutual friends who offered his help and his assistance without any asking for anything in return um and i'm i'm a big believer uh of of helping people where you can and paying things forward. And I'm so lucky to have the friends that I have and the community I have. And it's a group of people that we try to help each other out when we can.
Starting point is 01:45:34 And Victor is also just like, he very much, he just, you know, I'm also the type of person, like I don't let people into my circle easily. In fact, it's very difficult to let people into my circle. But when I do, you're in. But Victor is someone who just really went out of his way to show Nelly and I how much he cared and, like, he just wanted to do it right. And he always exceeded our expectations. And every time I was like, that's too much, he tried to do more. And that's just the type of kind of energy you get with, with Victor.
Starting point is 01:46:09 If you do want to have vinyl at your party. So, uh, if, if you want to elevate your party, reach out to my friend because, uh, I think he can really, he's, he's made me feel like a party planner extraordinaire, you know, like he's a custom fabricator posting shit all over instagram i'm getting all this fucking credit that i don't deserve of like trying to throw like and it's all because of people like victor um and uh shauna and and it's been really incredible so so thank you you're so welcome you're both we. You're family. Oh man, you guys, I'm blessed. You think he's talking about having a good circle?
Starting point is 01:46:48 I wouldn't be able to do what I do if y'all didn't exist, period. I mean, all I would be doing is sleeping. Well, you probably deserve some sleep after the last few days you've been with us. There's no sleeping here. The show must go on. Well, I think that kind of wraps it up.
Starting point is 01:47:05 Thank you guys for listening I love you fiance I love you fiance it's so fun to say thanks for listening guys don't forget to send in those questions at asknick
Starting point is 01:47:16 at thevilefiles.com that's asknick at thevilefiles.com if you usually listen to our episode on audio we love that
Starting point is 01:47:24 because that's where most people check this out. But check out our new studio. If you haven't already on YouTube, you can watch the episodes on YouTube. If you're curious about the work we've done, we'll also post some behind-the-scenes footage of what this used to look like and what it looks like now. It's been a fun journey.
Starting point is 01:47:42 But we have a lot of exciting uh things ahead for you guys as i said in our intro but we are excited of the future of the show and we are excited nally and i for the future of our relationship and they go so much hand in hand and uh i'm just gonna try to keep making the best show possible so that I could give everything I ever wanted to to the people I love most so thanks so much and next week we have the Bachelor premiere with Arianna Maddox from Vanderpump little reality TV crossover so I'll probably get some updates regarding their new season with Ariana plus she'll help us break down episode one of The Bachelor.
Starting point is 01:48:28 And then special surprise for our Going Deeper guests next week. The week after that, we have Jim Jefferies recapping The Bachelor with us. And then we have the Lautners, both Taylor Lautner and Taylor Lautner, in studio to talk about. They're recently engaged. Will you invite them to our wedding? Huh. Will you invite them to our wedding? Huh? Will you invite them to our wedding?
Starting point is 01:48:47 Sure. Well, do we want to invite them even if they don't invite us? Yeah, that's fine. I don't care. I need to have, you're like, I need leverage. I need Jacob at my wedding.
Starting point is 01:48:57 He's a wonderful, wonderful man. Super sweet. So yeah, that's what's coming up on the docket and anything more? Oh! Oh, the premiere of our AMP dating show, Better Date Than Never, is tomorrow. If you are listening on...
Starting point is 01:49:11 No, it's tonight. It's tonight. It's tonight. It's tonight, 6 p.m. Pacific. No, 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific. It's all about dating. We'll be talking to people who are about to go on dates.
Starting point is 01:49:23 We'll be downloading some dates in terms of how it went, sending them up with talking next steps, dating app advice. It's a super interactive, it's live. We hope you join us. Check it out. It's going to be super fun. Make sure if you haven't already, download the app. If you have an Apple phone, it's AMP.
Starting point is 01:49:44 Super easy. Check it out and And we hope to see you there. And you'll be hanging out with us live. It'll be a ton of fun. And if you know you want to call in, feel free to shoot us an email at asknick at thevilefiles.com so that way we can try to prioritize that. We're so excited to chat with y'all. It's going to be loose and silly. We'll see you all tonight then for a better date than ever. Bye. Bye.

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