The Viall Files - E565 Love is Blind Recap with Phoebe Robinson
Episode Date: April 6, 2023Welcome back to The Viall Files: Love is Blind Recap Edition! Today we are joined by comedian Phoebe Robinson to talk about all things Season 4. We dive into all of the couples, including Zach and Bli...ss getting back together and engaged. Will Micah say yes to Paul, or listen to her friends and say “I don’t”? Is Kwame in it for Chelsea, or for fame? And is Jacqueline better off with Marshall or Josh? We also have a texting office hours caller who wants to shoot her shot with a man she met five months ago… we figure out how to slide back in now that she’s single. “If she ends up with Josh, I will pull out my weave braid by braid.” Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://www.viallfiles.supportingcast.com Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to asknick@theviallfiles.com to be a part of our Monday episodes. Join us for our new LIVE show on Thursdays at 9PM ET/6PM PT on Amp, available in the Apple app store. Android User? Listen here: https://www.onamp.com/ To Order Nick’s Book Go To: http://www.viallfiles.com If you would like to get some texting advice on Office Hours send an email to asknick@theviallfiles.com with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line! To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://www.advertisecast.com/TheViallFiles THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Drizly - Drizly is the most convenient way to buy beer, wine and spirits, with delivery to your doorstep in under 60 minutes. Download the Drizly app or go to https://www.Drizly.com Intimissimi - There is a new Italian lingerie brand made with gorgeous fabrics, colorful silks and delicate lace. https://www/intimissimi.com/jlo Rocket Money - Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions – and manage your expenses the easy way – by going to https://www.RocketMoney.com/viall Episode Socials: @viallfiles @nickviall @dopequeenpheebs @alison.vandam @liffordthebigreddog @dereklanerussell
Transcript
Discussion (0)
you're crazy
what's going on everybody welcome back to another episode of the vile files
love is blind recap edition uh i'm nick joined with the joined by the household with the household everything is
fine uh we have a great guest today phoebe robinson is with us today to help us break down
all things love is blind episodes one through eight before we uh we get into some other uh
quick topics a couple housekeeping notes uh we will be breaking down uh how many episodes are
dropping this weekend i want to say it's like nine through eleven recap the next three episodes with violet benson next tuesday so don't forget
about that we have girl boss town next week thursday uh we're getting back to our normal
going deeper uh schedule next week thursday uh with girl boss town talking about the latest you
know pop culture trends and updates she's a ton of fun. Everything pop culture with Girl Boss Town as well.
We have a new episode of Better Day.
Never up on Vile Files Plus.
We have a new update special dropping behind Vile Files Plus this Friday.
So if you haven't checked that out, be sure to do so.
You can try it for free for seven days.
It's super fun, and everyone loves it.
Literally no one gets rid of it.
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Also, I'm pretty sure that I feel like between Jasonason sudeikis and olivia wild someone cheated on someone
it's too petty okay say more this is going on for ever and ever and ever this whole custody battle
they have how many kids together they've been divorced for how long olivia well two kids olivia well
has entered and left a relationship with harry styles that was fairly long i honestly forgot
that she was with jason sudeikis because in my mind she's just been with harry styles for a
decent amount of this level of pettiness now she's accusing him of not paying child support
like a week ago there were accusations of jason tudeikis trying to like basically
plead her dry through like you know like i don't know legal proceedings and things like that
it's just it's just and then there was a whole serving on stage on stage there's just an
incredible amount of pettiness jason tudeikis is acting like olivia wilde cheated on him with
harry styles hot take i that's how he's acting i don't disagree with you like i think that's a Jason Dedeikis is acting like Olivia Wilde cheated on him with Harry Styles. Hot take. I.
That's how he's acting.
I don't disagree with you.
Like, I think that's a very likely theory. I think the alternative explanation is that they both strike me as people who are like,
yes, they're Hollywood success stories, but they're like Hollywood success stories who
like I think have this public perception of being kind of real or kind of like smart and
creative and kind of worthy of the fame that they have and like talented in a way that's less like megastar ego thing but they
and maybe it's just because he Ted Lasso and then Olivia Wilde directed Booksmart like I feel like
they both have this reputation of seeming like of the celebrities they seem like really good hard
like hard-working authentic people and so I think whenever there's kind of drama or if one of
them accuses the other one of something they're like wait fuck you i'm a good person like don't
you dare call me all this stuff because i've gone through my whole career still maintaining a level
of like dignity and high treatment of people but what do you mean i think there are two people who
are like never thought they would be in the mud and so the fact that they think one of them is
taking them to the mud they're like fuck no don't take me to the mud you deserve to be in the mud and so the fact that they think one of them is taking them to the mud they're like fuck no don't take me to the mud you deserve to be in the mud i've had my my brother you know got
divorced they shared kids like this those things can if you have two agreeable people who want
what's best for the kids and each other and want and prioritize happiness over being right like
you can get through those proceedings fairly quickly.
Or if you want to be difficult,
if you want to make someone suffer and pay,
you can drag this shit on for a really long time.
They're fighting in the media.
Celebrities don't do that.
They want everything, especially like this,
to like not be talked about, to not get out there.
And you're just getting accusation after accusation from these people's
teams and things like that I just feel like
someone must have cheated on someone
but don't you think that would have been weaponized
by the other person by now because they
are airing out all the dirty laundry in such a
big way I don't know something's not
tracking I don't know or maybe he's just
mad that maybe he's just mad that she left
him I don't know but someone's bitter
and it seems like Jason well if he's not paying child support yeah it seems like he's bitter mad that she left him i don't know but someone's bitter and it seems like
jason well if he's not paying child support yeah it seems like he's bitter it's kind of doesn't
that's that's the that's up on the bottom of the list of things that uh suggested you know the
whole serving of the publicly you know publicly the whole or the accusation well of course she's
made accusations towards him yeah regarding his
behavior but to ali's point i do think child support is petty because it's like wow this is
like directly impacted to the kids yeah it's like you can't even put a you can't put aside
yeah but i mean you know you have to when you two rich people are fighting over money it's like yeah should Sudeikis I guess pay child support yes
but like it's just hard for me to like really care about two rich people arguing over who should like
clearly these kids are are not in need of money yeah they're well taken care of and like Jason's
not sending a check for the eggs I mean who gives a shit eggs are expensive these days but hey yo i will say hey yo um i do think they are uniquely
equipped to empathize with one another because i feel like if you are a straight man dating a woman
and she goes on to date harry styles like that is like like i feel feel like Harry Styles is similar to Emily Ratajkowski in terms of
like sex symbol status,
like kind of worst case scenario for your ex to have as a new partner.
How would you feel?
Let's,
let's say hypothetically,
if a girlfriend of yours,
you,
or I guess technically,
no,
they were married.
You're white.
Once you guys are married,
what if you and Natalie split up and she immediately
goes and dates harry styles how would that make you feel not great yeah yeah and then your boyfriend
breaks up with you or like and then a girl a woman's boyfriend like breaks up with her to date
emrata like fuck me oh my god you know i'd be like damn what's the emrata have to do with it
well just because she's now,
she was seen like snogging Harry Styles in Tokyo.
They're all linked.
They seem to be dating.
They seem to be dating.
So Olivia has now had this experience
of having her boyfriend move on to someone
who is like akin to like kind of like media craze
held up as this like beauty ideal and sex symbol.
So I'm like, she and Jason.
Yeah, it all depends on
what jason's doing i get the harry styles at all isn't great but he could have been fucking the
nanny he could have been fucking the nanny maybe you know he's he is a rich funny celebrity they
they tend to attract beautiful women and maybe he's just like sick of olivia wilde i don't know so it really it really just depends
you know so like if now like as as i sit here now i think it'd be devastating but there are past
exes that if if they dated harry styles i wouldn't give a fuck i'd been but i feel like the harry
styles and emirata makes sense to me a little bit because I feel like Amrata and Kendall
Jenner have similar
vibes. Clearly he has a type.
I don't know.
I think Amrata and Kendall have similar
looks.
They both have brown hair.
They're brunettes, striking cheekbones.
I feel like their face shapes are probably similar.
They're brunette models.
And they have brown hair.
They're extraordinarily wealthy. They're brunette models. And they have brown hair. They're both extraordinarily wealthy.
That's for the comparisons.
No, I didn't like Ali on this one.
They have similar face shapes.
They look very similar.
He has a type.
He has a type.
Harry has a type because he dated Kendall Jenner and Emrata.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm telling you, as a guy, that's not a type.
Okay. Well, I'll trust you as your male judgment. Yeah, and Kendall's running off Emrata. Yeah. Yeah, I'm telling you, as a guy, that's not a type. Okay.
Well, I'll trust you as your male judgment.
Yeah, and Kendall's running off into the sunset with Bad Bunny.
Does Bad Bunny not remind you of Brody Jenner?
This is all a PR stunt.
Oh.
I think.
Why?
Like, what are they?
Why?
Bring some fame, attention.
Well, the Kardashians and Jenners are known for PR stunts.
I just, like, why? I guess, oh, maybe they're, like, really trying to move in on, like, fame attention well the kardashians are and jenner's are known for pr stuns i just like why
i guess oh maybe they're like really trying to move in on like especially like the latinx
community because like obviously bad bunny is like popular among all people but he's particularly
popular in the yeah like in like community yeah i bet he's like fucking massive yeah insane and
i'm like and i feel like that really shows when you think of like success and like the numbers like you know how like some artists on Spotify like you just go on and you see how
many plays you're having it's like holy shit yeah like I know you were radio popular but I didn't
know it was like this magnitude he's huge he's absolutely huge I think it's just a mutually
beneficial PR stunt I would bet on speaking of $50,000 bets we get into in this episode I would
make another $50,000 bet that Bad Bunny and Kendall Jenner
are not dating in 12 months.
Oh, I think she's still,
her heart is still burning for Devin Booker,
is what I would say.
There you go.
Well, it's not burning for Bad Bunny.
Are you guys really scared of AI?
A little bit, yeah.
We were talking about Chat GBT as a society
a lot for a hot second
and it's all the AI stuff
is still going on.
And recently I saw that
Levi's is going to use
AI generated models
and it's to quote
increase diversity,
which that's an awful
stupid thing.
Why don't we actually
just cast models
who are diverse?
Yeah, like hire and pay diverse models.
But I do feel like we're going to start having AI models.
Where are we going next?
It's scary.
I don't like it.
It's a scary world out there.
I think something else that is scary but a little more unhinged and funky is I saw an article the other day that people are getting pearl necklaces in a very specific sense, which is to say jewelry made of semen.
Absolutely not.
Absolutely not.
I've seen what I needed to see.
So there are dizzy jewelry customers.
So jewelry sculptor Amanda Booth is making jewelry using semen that people send to her
bottled no they they jizz into a little tube and then she makes jewelry out of it and then
she makes jewelry out of it it's not a very durable material so i, I just,
in the article,
there's the phrase
clay to cum ratio
and talking about
the construction.
So clearly there's additive,
there's other products.
What's the point of this?
It's just art.
You know,
is it like a Valentine's Day present?
Here, babe.
It's,
I guess that's the question.
Instead of putting it down your throat,
put it around your throat.
I mean,
maybe if you're like super,
super kinky and you're like, yeah, where my semen around your throat i mean maybe if you're like super super kinky and you're like yeah where
my semen around your neck like i don't know if that would be the market i don't know if it's
people who are doing this as a colossal bit it's not i i doubt that julia i think the jewelry is
doing this from a place of like artistic pushing boundaries. Yuck. Anyway, that's nuts.
A.
All right.
Well, Phoebe Robinson is with us to help us break down Love is Blind.
We get into all the madness.
So let's get into it.
Phoebe, welcome.
Thanks for having me.
Thanks for coming.
We're excited to have you.
It's been, we've Thanks for having me. Thanks for coming. We're excited to have you.
This is gonna be great.
We've been anticipating this episode.
The audience has been dying for us to really break down Love is Blind.
We had some Vanderpump stuff to get to.
We had the Bachelor finale,
and then we had you lined up,
and we thought,
what a perfect guest to break down Love is Blind.
And here we are.
All in on this show.
I love it.
Have you been watching since its inception?
So I didn't watch since the beginning
because I was like, I don't know what the hell I was doing.
Work shit, whatever.
And then I got COVID last November.
It was my first time getting it.
And I was like, you know, I just want to watch like comfort TV.
So I just turned it on and I was like mainlining it.
Like I just binged all three on and I was like mainlining it.
Like I just binged all three seasons.
I was like, this is amazing.
I love, so it's so great.
I never saw the first one.
You haven't seen the first season?
No.
Okay.
I mean, I've seen like bits and pieces and I'm familiar with it.
And I know like the It couple
that's I think still together.
Yeah.
There's two of them are still together.
Who are the other ones?
I was gonna say the white couple,
but I can't remember their names.
The white couple is the ones I don't remember.
Yes.
They weren't the It couple.
They weren't.
The It couple, I forget their names.
Oh, Lauren and Cameron?
Yes.
Yes.
And they were so cute.
Yeah.
And they're still together.
What's it?
What's it?
Amber and Barnett?
Barnett, yes.
Yes.
They're still together.
They're still together.
They're wild.
Yeah. they were wild
they're a little chaotic
are they
I haven't
like
you should watch the season
are they doing things
are they
out there
slinging the ground
if you would have told me
that they would be the ones
still together
I wouldn't have believed you
I would have totally believed it
really
yeah just because it's like
she's a little wild child
he likes that kind of energy.
And they just got on really well.
I was like, oh, I think they'll make it.
Yeah.
Maybe they're just enough chaotic where they work.
It's like cute.
But I think people just aren't as invested.
Was she the one that had like all the like financial conversations with him?
I mean, that was just like princessy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was a little bit like she's got some debt issues that she like sprung on him. And he was a red flag. Princessy, yeah. Yeah, it was a little bit like, she's got some debt issues
that she sprung on him
and he was like,
ka-ka-ka.
Yeah.
All right, all right.
He's like,
can't wait for a life with you
and your massive debt.
Your huge APR.
And then season two was Chicago
with Shane and Nelly.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Here's what I will say.
People come down so hard on Shane.
We're Shane fans here.
I like him.
Yeah.
He's a bit of a dope.
He's a dope.
He's real.
He's real.
He might have,
I think he has to work on some of his reactive energy.
Yes.
You know,
certainly some.
Yes.
He's open about his trauma.
He's dealing with some stuff but yeah you
know what you get with shane yeah you're you're not surprised i trust shane i don't trust natalie
his his ex well here's my thing about her i like them together you liked them together
because she was so like kind of like tightly wound and like he was like goofy.
It made me wonder if the night,
you know, he came home like drunk or whatever.
I wonder if he said some insane shit because she was just like,
there were just things I can't work past.
I don't think so.
I have heard from multiple people.
What's the tea?
She's very smart.
Yes. Like way smarter than Shane. people that she's very smart. Yes.
Like way smarter than Shane.
Not that Shane's.
I mean, we kind of all knew that.
But like she's exceptionally sharp, a bit manipulative.
And she knew how to play the game.
Like when they filmed The Perfect Match,
like it just came out,
but like they filmed that shit a long time ago.
And those two were still in contact and they had they they got their phones for like an hour
a day or something like that cast and like she would still like reach out to him and like
getting his fucking head and shit like that i i heard that wow i've heard from a lot of different
producers that she's they just don't
trust her well I feel like she had a rejection narrative like where it seemed like she was
really self-conscious about this idea that like Shane would be out of her league in some capacity
which was kind of confusing because like I didn't feel like there's any obvious like disparity
between the two of them but it just seemed like she was kind of like would poke him and like be
kind of like deprecating to him and I thought it was coming from a she was kind of like would poke him and like be kind of like deprecating to him.
And I thought it was coming from a place of kind of like insecurity on her part.
But because we're not seeing what she's seeing, it just looks like you're like picking on this guy.
I think she was fully aware that Shane's a reactive guy and that he was seen as a reactive person.
And she knew how to poke the bear fairly strategically.
And that's not to say that Shane isn't guilty
of saying things he needs to apologize for
or things like that.
But I don't know.
It was one of those examples of like,
everyone was trying to point fingers during their season
of, well, I'm team Shane or I'm team Natalie.
And I think a lot of it was they were just not compatible
and they truly brought out the worst in each other.
They were the worst.
Yeah.
Ever. Great for TV. And then what, season three was? a lot of it was they were just not compatible and they truly brought out the worst in each other. They were the worst catchment ever.
Great for TV.
And then what, season three was?
Bartice. Oh my God.
Bartice and his fucking hairline.
I'm so sick of the bullshit.
They are plants
because I have never seen this many black men
with fucked up hairlines before.
I'm like, what is happening?
Where did you find these people
these are not the black men i know so it's too much also okay we gotta get in yeah let's get
into season let's get into season four i'm so stressed i'm so stressed about this season
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I'll just turn it to you.
How are you feeling about this season?
We have eight episodes that have dropped.
Favorites, least favorites?
Here's my concern.
I really think that Chelsea's about to get her heart broken.
Just straight up.
And she has no idea.
And I just want to be like,
Kwame is not that into you.
He is, for me, more than anyone here,
clearly there for TV.
Oh, you don't even think he likes Micah?
No, not really. I think Micah's there
more for TV than he is.
I think Micah and Irina, for sure,
they were there just for TV. I think Kwame would have
gotten engaged to... Anyone?
Anything. Wow.
A bottle of water.
One of those gold goblets. Yeah, they have a gold... Anyone, anything. And we anything wow bottle of water anyone anything and we found out that he did uh married at first sight
yeah he was same production company that produces no i'm love is blind i'm out it was it was like
you know when him and micah were talking and he was just he's just one of those guys who just loves platitudes and like says a bunch of like what he calls deep shit.
He's like, yeah, man.
Like, you know, that was him in the pods.
And then, you know, I think he fucking hates Chelsea.
Hates her.
What?
Kwame?
She's so great.
I'm not.
I think I just think I think Kwame hates her.
Like every time they're hanging out, he's like, yeah, no, like I love you.
And you're like, you're my favorite.
But I think deep down he hates her.
I think he was going to get engaged to anyone.
Wow.
I think Micah was his first choice.
And then he was like, all right, who else, who else likes me?
And then especially after meeting everyone in person,
he was,
then he was like,
I really regret my decision.
But I don't understand.
Here's the thing.
It's like Chelsea is,
she may be,
cause she compromised a little bit more for sure.
I think there's a little bit where she's like,
that's just marriage.
And I was like,
she says that a lot.
She's just like, well, welcome to marriage. And I was like, she says that a lot. She's just like,
well,
welcome to marriage.
And I'm like,
have you been married before?
Do you know?
Like,
what are you talking about?
Chels?
Every time someone comes up,
welcome to marriage.
She's literally wearing a dog apron.
She's like giving a bath.
And she's like,
that's marriage.
You got it.
You just got to clean a dog's asshole.
That's marriage.
It's like, anything terrible. that's marriage yeah you gotta you just got to clear dog's asshole that's marriage it's like anything terrible that's right but i think that she genuinely like wants to be in love
and like wants to have like a husband and kids and the whole thing and and i'm troubled by the
fact that she can't see that he's not that into her.
Because to me, it feels kind of obvious at this point.
Sure, yeah.
Like even after the pool hangout with like him and Micah talking for like an hour.
They were all over each other.
All over each other.
He like forgot to bring Chelsea snacks.
What the fuck?
She asked for like a drink.
She asked for chips and guac.
Yes. And then Micah and Irina said tequila shots please and he went rogue yes and i'm just like this is like week through
week two of them being together and he's already doing that it's like girl like abort mish it's
over oh he to me i everything kwame is doing is all to like set up.
I think Kwame in his head like, you know, showed up.
He's like, I'm gonna do whatever I have to do
to get in a relationship, to have them,
because you know, they've cast what, 15 women
or something like that, like 30 people.
And we end up following, what is it?
I think it's five couples usually.
Five couples, you know, so like a third of those.
And I think Kwame was just determined
to be one of those people.
And he was just gonna emote and be vulnerable
and all that shit.
And then now that he's with Chelsea,
I think everything he's doing in his head
is to like soften the blow
or to like set up the fact that like,
he's definitely gonna say no to her at the altar i i
there's just no way he's going to get married to chelsea yeah and i think she's she's all in yeah
she's all in but i also wonder was she all in too soon because it felt like they were in the pods
and she was just like kwame's the one like immediately and like i want because i'm a person
who can like fall fast too
and i just wonder if she just really put all her eggs in one basket just because of the vibe
initially maybe i'm stressed i don't think she's you know super confident in herself she seems like
someone who's like so proficient in like 95 of areas of life like i feel like she is a kick-ass
friend i bet she like does all of her shit at work.
Like I think she's just like really on it.
Pays her bills on time for sure.
Yes.
Like she gets her oil changed on the six month mark dot.
She's really efficient.
You know?
But then I think there's-
Very reliable.
Yeah.
And I think there's this like love where it doesn't click
like because it's not so like individual.
And so I imagine like because she's used to being so
like in control of other
areas like in love it gets kind of funky with her but i'm also curious like how much do we think it
could be like kwame's family hesitancy no i think kwame i think kwame text his mom yeah and was like
i'm about to call you i need you to be super pissed and hate this and make me feel bad.
I would,
I would bet money on it that he gave his mom a heads up and it's all part of
the plan.
I don't think there's a genuine bone in his body as it relates to his time on
this show.
I feel like the mom thing is being greatly exaggerated.
Yeah.
Like her hatred of this.
I'm like,
I don't know if she hates she's probably
like this is insane but i don't think she's like you're letting the family down and i raised you
but i'm like that all feels like i feel like he's gonna use that as like an excuse for whether
yeah because it was like i he goes to chelsea look i haven't talked to my mom yet yeah as if
like it's she's been hard to get a hold of yeah and then it was like
and then it was like leave the room because i'm gonna call right now because i know she's gonna
answer that felt weird what to be like leave the room that is some shady fucking shit well so why
didn't we hear the mom's audio i know that was not speakerphone the call with the mom i thought
was probably she probably didn't want to be here. She didn't want to.
It didn't even say her name.
It just said Kwame's mom
when during the phone call
that was just
Kwame Tyson.
Yeah, she probably
didn't want to be on camera.
Yeah, she probably
didn't sign the
appropriate paperwork.
Yeah.
And he was like,
what?
You don't approve of me?
He was like speaking
the way you would
to provide exposition.
Like not the way
you talk to someone
on the phone.
It was trash.
I don't even know
if anyone was on the other line.
Truly.
Maybe they didn't have to mute anything.
Maybe he was just, like, pausing for silence.
Also, as soon as Chelsea set foot in his apartment,
that is the most fuckboy apartment.
That is chaos.
The man has lotion.
And towels.
I know.
On his coffee table.
Yeah.
Next to his bed couch.
Yeah, it wasn't great. No, not even, no, his bed couch. Yeah. Next to his bed couch. Yeah.
It wasn't great.
No, his bed couch.
Yeah.
Yeah, his bed couch.
Like, I have, like, nice, like, Aesop lotion on my, like, by my couch.
He, like, literally had, like, Juergens and, like, Kleenex.
Like, yeah.
But he, like, jacked off.
Like, a whacking lotion.
And, like.
Literally jerking off.
And he didn't, he didn't think to clean that?
I know.
And no one could say, oh, well, maybe production, like, didn't he didn't think to clean that i know and no one could say oh well maybe production like
didn't let him you can do some serious damage cleaning up and give me three minutes yeah i
could throw a bunch of shit in a closet yeah give me five minutes i might even be able to
wipe some shit down give me 30 minutes and i can make it look like on TV. Pretty fucking immaculate. Yeah.
And he just like,
no,
or like call my place while you're on the honey,
the honeymoon phase. I call like a cleaner to come by your apartment for like a hundred bucks to
make it like not immaculate.
Yeah.
Oh,
and I like how his looks like that.
And then prior to seeing all that,
he walks into her immaculate,
very cute,
girly studio.
And he's like,
what's with the pink?
I was like, you don't get to criticize that.
I was like, she's just got a pink Keurig.
Leave her alone.
I know.
Let her live.
Yeah.
She has some accent pieces.
If she was walking into that place, keep in mind, she just got engaged to a man.
The wedding's in, what, 10 days?
12 days?
20 days?
I don't know
that you don't that is not the apartment of a man that says i'm ready to get married that that is
the biggest if anything else forget about how he treats you or how he talks to you or just misses
you or just his general disdain that he seems to have for you he would think that walking into that
apartment would be enough to say you know
what i'm it's one thing to get engaged yeah with someone i don't know but i'm not marrying this guy
no i would have like walked in and been like i let you put your dick in me and this is how you live
but again i think that i think the reason kwame didn't do that because he's just like he doesn't want to break up with her
everything about what he's doing says
I want her to break up
with me break up chicken yeah he's
just he's playing that game and that's a classic
guy move guys will do anything
they can to get a woman to break up with them
just grow up and end
it just end it
what you think
you're scared of me crying?
Like, why are people like not?
Well, because.
Because you still want to be seen as a good guy.
It's not me.
But I mean, not you.
I'm not speaking for men.
I'm like yelling at you.
Oh, what?
You don't like speaking for all men?
I think if I were to guess, there might be well then yeah it's like if i break up with you
then then the aftermath might be a little more um yeah i'm less of the bad guy you know no i'm sorry
you can't waste people's time not not you i agree the proverb proverbial you. I set a record on my season of The Bachelor.
It was so good.
I loved it.
But broke up with the most people on dates.
Like I didn't break up with people at rose ceremonies.
I was just like, nah, it's not you.
We can talk about it.
It's time to go home.
And I got shit for it.
I was like, he's so mean.
I loved it.
Yeah.
Do they make you do the post-breakup talk?
Because if someone dumped me on TV,
I'd be like, just take me to the sprinter van.
Let me grab my away luggage and get the fuck out of town.
Yeah, no, you get in a car,
you drive in circles until you emote.
Like, they just like, it's just like,
oh, give me your hand.
Let's like walk over to this bench
and let's like get into why I'm dumping you.
It's like, no, you don't want me anymore.
Let me,
let me call my fucking best friend
who I haven't talked to for six weeks.
When Caitlin broke up with me
at the quote unquote altar.
Yeah.
I was like,
I was like,
okay,
I'm going to go.
And it was like,
no,
let's talk about it.
I'm like,
I don't want to.
And then she's like,
but I,
but I love you.
I'm like,
what the fuck?
You know, it was like, that was a complete to. And she's like, but I love you. I'm like, what the fuck? You know?
That was a complete sentence.
It's fucking bizarre.
So crazy.
Or and then you get in the car, the limo or whatever.
You just drive, sometimes in circles.
Really?
Just until they can get like you crying or something?
Whatever.
Yeah.
Like when you're trying to tuck around a little kid and you like drive in circles until they
fall asleep.
Wow.
You know.
So crazy.
And then sometimes you might get reminded
that you don't want to look like you don't care.
But it's hard because when you get dumped,
sometimes you're just like.
For sure.
That you're just protecting yourself.
It's like obviously you do care.
So you're just going to be like, fuck it,
because you're like, feel embarrassed.
Yeah, you want to act like you don't.
It's everyone on that show or whatever reality TV show,
they're all afraid to be heartbroken and get embarrassed,
but I will say the producers are right about this
because I've learned that your best moment
is when you get heartbroken.
That's your opportunity to,
that's when you're the most likable.
That's when you're the most vulnerable
or the most relatable because no matter who you are or, like for example, Kwame, let's say you're the most likable. That's when you're the most vulnerable or the most relatable because no matter who you are or,
like, for example, Kwame,
let's say we're wrong, you know?
I don't think we are.
I don't think we are.
But let's say Chelsea,
and all of a sudden we see this man cry,
we're gonna be like,
oh, poor thing.
I don't think it's gonna happen.
How much would you bet
that Kwame's not gonna to get married to Chelsea?
Like, what would you risk?
I would bet comfortably $300.
Okay.
Yeah, I'd do that.
What's the return?
You know what I mean?
One for one.
Okay.
Yeah, there's no odds.
Yeah.
I'd bet 50K.
There's just no way.
Oh, shit.
I gave Mr. New Uggs every day.
He's very legit.
He always has Uggs, so.
He got Ugg money.
I don't want to lose it.
I just think there's just no fucking way.
Yeah.
I think it's the safest bet ever.
There's also a chance Chelsea pulls a deep D moment where she's like, uh-uh, you don't
like me.
So I agree.
That might be true.
I'm just saying.
Kwame's not saying yes.
Kwame's not getting married to Chelsea.
No.
He's not saying yes.
I don't know what Chelsea's going to do.
And there's definitely going to be a surprise moment.
Like, there could be, like, at the end, you know,
someone's, like, going to Chelsea.
It's like, do not marry this guy.
Yeah.
Like, hey, have you seen that D.P. episode?
Yeah.
You know, like, I wouldn't be shocked if there's something like that and that's a good point we are maybe setting up chelsea to like be the person who chooses herself and doesn't put up with this
kind of fuck boy energy or someone who clearly doesn't show any appreciation for chelsea whatsoever
yeah because like with micah we saw when she went to Paul's house, like she was talking mad
shit about his.
And like, sure, I could see how from an interior design standpoint, like it's not, you know,
maybe it's not like a bougie, fancy place, but like Paul's place wasn't like fucking
filthy like Kwame's.
And I was like, Kwame would have cleaned if Micah was coming over.
Paul's wasn't filthy.
But I gotta say,
I mean,
I'm a little older now.
Is this new generation
of 20-year-old men?
These were really pathetic apartments.
But I will say
that's always been
20-something-year-old men.
Were you out here at,
you know...
Not when I moved to LA these guys no these are people
are in seattle's pretty expensive yeah but i i didn't have a couch from the street he and the
couch from the street was a damning factor paul that wasn't has a real job he yeah you know he's
a scientist he's some engineer he's making real money. He works.
He should not have
mix match furniture,
one of which is a couch
from the street.
I feel like Facebook Marketplace
is different.
When you find something
on a curb,
you do not know
how long it's been out there.
You don't know
what kind of bugs.
You don't know
why it was put on the street.
There's semen on it.
Yeah, 100%.
Do not put a black light
on that couch.
Semen and doo-doo.
It was both.
100%.
It was also like the two couches so close together
with a little coffee table in the middle.
Listen, I understand.
Listen, times can be tough.
And if you need to, I understand.
But Paul doesn't need to.
You're an engineer, Paul.
He has health insurance.
He can spend $800 on a totally wonderful couch.
Might not be the most comfortable.
Go to CB2.
Yeah.
Go to Ashley's Furniture.
Yes.
Go to Amazon.
Hit me with an Ikea if you must.
Yes.
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slash v-i-a-l-l rocketmoney.com slash v-i-a-l-l what do we think let's get into the whole mic uh
and irena of it all i don't i just find them to be so cruel because they're acting like Zach looked disgusting.
And I was like, he looked like a normal guy.
He looks like one of them.
Yeah, I'm like, you guys are all in the same look level.
There's no Zendayas here.
Let's just be honest.
There is nothing more frustrating than you know whatever number
they may be yeah acting like they're somehow out of their league yes and it's just like there's no
one speaking of have you seen irina's instagram no is it chaotic no it's aesthetically quite nice okay it's it's borderline catfishy oh lots of filters it's
i gotta see someone bring someone pull it up this is it's it's there are a couple pictures
where it's just like that is not the same person no it's like people find out yeah like they're
gonna see you in person and go oh yeah i don't i've never i've never understood
that like i've ever since i've had social media i and i've done this i've been like i've every
once in a while i like go to a friend who i i believe to be honest yeah and i just say like
is this me is this a fair representation of the person you're meeting and i yeah i just feel like
she was so mean to zach and be like oh you look. I just feel like she was so mean to Zach
and be like, oh, you look like a cartoon character.
Like she was just so trying to be hurtful to him.
Yeah, cartoon character.
I didn't understand why.
We love Zach, yeah?
Yes, I will say he could blink just 10% more.
He's totally weird.
He's not for everyone.
Correct.
Which is great.
It's fine.
It's totally fine.
But,
and I've said this already,
I think,
well,
talking with friends,
of all the people
on this cast,
let's say they don't match
with anyone else.
Yeah.
And,
but we all know
that someday they meet someone,
you know,
and the person they meet
is gonna be in love with,
they're compatible,
they are attracted to each other.
I would bet on Zach to be the best partner.
I just think he's, you know what I'm saying?
I could, I'm gonna, if I had to put money on someone
to be a good partner to whoever they end up with,
I'm betting on Zach.
Yeah, I think his picker is off
because he was just like, oh, Irina seems like really cool.
I know she does some
things that are like negative but i think like i feel there's a little bit like he wanted to
like save her or fix her a little bit and it's just like no zach you should just go with the
person you're into who's also into you is not going to make you work for it i also think he
picked irena because he sees her as damaged goods yeah Yeah. And he said, I trust Irina more.
Yeah.
And I think when he says that, he means I feel safer with her because I think with Bliss, it was...
And he said, you know, she can come across a bit pretentious and he has some fears about how families might judge him.
And he's like a guy from the streets, so to speak, or whatever.
might judge him and he's like a guy from the streets so to speak or whatever and i think irena even through the pods came across as someone who is troubled who isn't very confident herself
who and she opened up about all that in the pods yeah thinking that zach was some like charming
good-looking you know suave lawyer yeah yeah only to like meet zach and then be you know her true
color came out uh but yeah i think he just felt safer with her.
And I think in a way,
Irina kind of reminded him of his mom, you know,
like, and then I think Irina sold herself
as someone who is misunderstood.
Yeah.
And, you know, people don't get her, you know,
a la his mom misunderstood, you know,
people judged her because she was a stripper
and things like that.
So I think it was a lot of that energy. And yeah, I think her because she was a stripper and things like that.
So I think it was a lot of that energy.
And yeah, I think I agree with you.
It's Picker's way off this picture.
Oh.
That's allegedly Irina.
That's not her.
There's no way that's her.
What?
Yeah.
There's more.
But yeah, it's a bit catfishy.
Kind of.
That one is okay,
but you can tell like she smoothed out her skin skin on that one just don't do it guys oh that that cat oh come on that's not her that is not her
that might that could be a stand-in that is some other fucking brunette from calabasas that is not
calabasas that's not her no what's irina what's happening come on it's
a different person just be yourself yeah you are beautiful anyways but that that's the person
irina has looked at her instagram too much and when she talks to zach she is talking to zach
as if that's the person she thinks she is. And even if you are quote unquote
better looking than someone,
who the fuck cares?
Don't be a dick.
Who cares?
At the end, it looks fake.
You gotta have a good personality.
Oh my God.
Who does she follow?
Yeah, she follows one of you
because there was a follow back on that.
There's a follow back on that.
There's probably vile files.
Oh, there's a follow back on that.
Oh yeah, because I'm logged in under vile
files irina just you're a beautiful person yes show who you are that's not that is not you
that was that's troubling um yeah so i think my big issue with micah is she comes across like
the person who is like i don't want you but i don't want anyone else
to want you either yeah and i think that's the thing with with kwame like this because i'm like
for real like yes they were talking all the time but it was four days it was four days and they
both like like horoscopes exactly it wasn't that deep And I think she just like was shocked that like Kwame like air quote moved on to Chelsea.
And so then she's like, oh, Kwame, I just want to hold your hand.
And like, I'm there for you if you ever need to talk.
I'm like, well, he could have talked to you every day as your fucking fiance.
Yeah.
So enough.
It's like you're getting in a car.
Why do you want him to still chase after you?
Exactly.
It's so dumb. It's so dumb. And her friends were mean to paul i didn't like that he was really
nice because he was like trying to give a thoughtful answer as to like why he liked her
like and they were like shitting on him i'm like oh you hate him because he read books like what
what's the problem her friend does not her friend hates it because she it has nothing to do with micah
correct she just doesn't want micah to leave correct the friend group yeah we're all single
together yeah we're all single together you get married this is gonna kill our vibe this isn't
yeah this is all about her friend hating it which is sucks because then it's just like yeah micah
not only is has she demonstrated some
shitty behavior like then you see her friends you're like oh this all makes sense yeah yeah
and so why doesn't paul see it that's what i understand i don't i don't know to me i think
what part why this season i think is so good though is I think this cast is you know they're
they're aware they're making TV
oh for sure
you know like early on in the pods
some of the sad stories
I just were just like I don't know
I don't know if this is a sad story or you just know
you're on TV everyone makes it to the
altar there's not a lot of
breakups even in past
seasons yeah there's always like the threat
of a breakup yeah but they tend to all make it to the altar and i don't know if that's a production
thing you know because like a couple there's always maybe one couple that breaks up right
after on chicago it was uh sheena or is it shane it's the blonde chick that people thought oh yes
shana and then that other kind of trying to slide in and then what's his name with the guy with the the blonde chick that people thought Shayna.
She was kind of trying to slide in with Shane. And then what's his name with the guy with the nose ring
who like pretended to like Deep Deep.
Kyle I think. Kyle.
They ended up kind of dating a little bit after that.
They ended up kind of pretending to date for cloud.
No I know you mean
because it's like sometimes you just
go
clearly these people aren't vibing but they're No, I know you mean because it's like sometimes you just go.
Clearly, these people are vibing, but they're still showing up to the to the wedding.
Yeah.
And trying on dresses. It's like, lol, what?
But yeah, I think this season for sure.
It's like, oh, this person wants to be on.
This person wants to be like, make it to like perfect match season two.
Like you can just sort of tell, you know what I mean?
What I will say is I really like bliss i like bliss and zach i actually like them together
they're my favorite couple and fun not because like it's like brett and tiffany every time they
come on boring yeah it's like every time they come on the camera it's just like thanks great
you're still in love wonderful you, you're both good-looking people, normal. Emotionally mature, have your shit together.
You seem like a good match.
I don't care.
Great.
Where the fuck is Micah and Paul?
Give me some more fucking...
Give me Jackie and Marshall.
Oh, my God.
Okay, that I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
The amount of self-sabotage that is going on,
and that fight, that fight was so bad.
Like when Marshall was like,
when you say damaged goods, you're a project.
I was like, the thing is,
I know he said in the heat of the moment,
but I'm like, I also believe that to be true.
I think he is like a good guy
who likes to date wounded women
so he can like nurture them and fix them and feel like the hero.
Yeah, I see.
Marshall is not the perfect king that so many people are saying he is.
I see a little of myself in him.
Oh, shit.
Like a 21, 22, 25-year year old nick who means really well had a probably a good
upbringing in terms of like the values of what it means to be in a relationship and
has a you know feels strong feelings and wants to fall and has all the has the good intentions but
just isn't quite emotionally regulated and loves a project deep down and maybe
even smart enough to be self-aware about that but not self-aware enough to like stop doing it yeah
i i just i i saw that first red flag when he got mad at josh and the pods where you know the dibs
guy i just i don't like the dibs guy yeah it's like he he goes to the pods
he connects with jackie comes back to the common room is like me and jackie yeah i'm in love
meanwhile josh is dopey as he's turns out to be oh my god he's drunk he's horrible he's horrible
but never fully horrible nevertheless he just like kept to himself yeah he came back and was why does he owe you know marshall anything
marshall anything or like let him know that he's also vibing with jackie like if jackie wants to
let marshall know that there's something else going on when she like as she eventually did
then fine but marshall acted like josh you know and i i just i've the people i've had guys like that friends guys
who like some girl will walk into the room and they're just like dibs and you're just like okay
cool they'll buy her a drink and they'll get all up in her you know and and start flirting with her
and you know they're a little awkward and you know and you know back in the day and i'm standing
in the past and like in the back and you know a couple hours later me and her start talking and
it's vibe and also my friends all like what the fuck man like i'm like you called dibs on a
fucking stranger and gave her no chance to assert who she was and i just there's a lot of guys like
that and marshall has a little bit of that energy
in the pod i think he means really well i think someday he'll be a great partner to someone not
jackie and yeah he got fucking mean there and i know she pushes buttons but they're both they
are so not compatible like she wants someone aggressive and then anytime he like like got aggressive she was
like you better stop i was like i mean josh is her type yes although i kind of wonder she said
she dates six foot five fine but like she loves that cauliflower ear like she sees that cauliflower
and she's like wrestler and she is down she likes a fuck boy yeah she does i don't even think marshall and
jackie are going to make it to the altar that's my prediction i actually do not think it's going
to happen because she's making a whole stink like my family this my family that she's always like
gotta go in the bathroom and cry for like 45 minutes and lock them out i'm like what is
happening with your like if you knew your family's gonna be like this why did you go on the show then
yeah come on exactly come on everyone's like oh her jackie has such a sad family story it's just
like won't you still win yeah yeah and i'm not saying it's not it doesn't have its problems
right yeah every family has some shit going on yeah you knew what you you know you knew you knew
you knew yeah you knew if you
got far enough your family was going to meet the person you're engaged to yeah and now you're like
this is a because this is what i didn't like when hit and marshall is not great either but what i
didn't like was when his family was like 30 minutes out in an uber and she was just like i can't do
i don't know if i can do this are you fucking kidding me yeah i would have dumped you then i've been like you know you're playing fucking games
my family's here you're gonna be like i don't know if i could do this and i gotta go into the
closet but he responded so well he was like i can take them for a walk or on the block like i don't
want you to be in this headspace like i he did i mean i'm not saying he's not problematic but his
response to that was great his response
his response should have been fuck you for no because she was intentionally creating drama
right before his family comes like how dare you yeah that's so fucked up i don't think marshall's
problematic i just think he's not a finished product and i think he thinks he is which is
which is the disconnect that's his that's his biggest red flag is i don't
think he's as self-aware as he thinks he is but i think ultimately he's a good guy yeah because
it's like whenever he's the hero he's fine but it's like he'll try to make himself the hero like
the whole thing how it went down with josh where like jackie just didn't break up with him and
he's like you were manipulated and it's like no she made a choice that you didn't like but he's
so quick to like cast scenarios that way he gets to be the one who like swoops in like it's okay
babe like it's okay and it's like it's not okay but not for the reason you think yeah damn marshall
i really upon further inspection yikes yikes on bikes um but if she ends up with Josh, I'm going to lose it. I will rip out my weave. I really
will. Just braid by braid.
I can't.
I can't allow it. I would be kind of great.
No!
The way that he was. They deserve each other.
I know, but the way he was at that party, he was
so drunk. So drunk.
I was like, ooh.
He was one of those close talker drunk
guys that gets up in your face. No, he was one of those close talker drunk guys that gets up in your face.
No, he sucks.
Yeah.
But I do think him and Jackie are fairly compatible.
I mean, he might not be tall enough,
but he's got that cauliflower ear
that I guarantee you she's into.
Yeah.
She sees that across from a bar with a couple earrings
and like, that's my dangerous man.
She's drenched.
She is drenched.
Fully drenched.
What did you think of her phrasing
for when she was talking about like initiating sex?
And it seems like maybe it's a more overarching issue
about his personality,
but it seems like especially when it comes to intimacy,
she was like, I want you to be more aggressive.
But he had a good point too.
He's like, you've not done anything
to make me feel desirable.
You've done nothing.
How is he just supposed to keep being like,
I'll give you more.
I'll give you more.
I'll give you more.
I'll give you more.
Also,
sexy time.
I think she just makes shit up.
She just finds a way to pick a fight.
Yeah.
It's just,
she's like,
you didn't have sex with me this afternoon.
And she decides in her head that that is a timeline
that's gone on too far.
Yeah.
She's the type of girl who wants you to guess what she
wants she will never tell you you know and when she does tell you it's after it's too late why
didn't you do this you know it's not like hey babe you know it really like make me feel good
if you could just you know like whenever like just be mindful and like i think you're great
by the way but like it'd be really helpful if you could just you know just prioritize this or do
this for me in the future and like thanks and then when someone
does it she's like oh thanks no it's always like I wanted this you know it's like she's that I want
you to guess I want you to know I want you to you know because if you if you knew who I was
if you understood me if you saw me for who I really am you would know you would figure it out
and yeah she self-sabotage it wasn't good because it
was also like she was sort of like questioning his manhood and i'm like well that's not gonna
make him get hard like i just think you have to be like you can have a conversation where it's just
like hey i like what we're doing in the bedroom but like you know you can like take a little more
control if you want like i'm into that and that could just be a simple conversation you go off and bang instead of being like be more aggressive you're not being manly
enough it's just like that's a quick way to make sure someone does not want to fuck you
and you just have to have like an adult conversation about it can't like like if he was
saying like shitty things about her in the bedroom it would be like such a such a conversation you know i mean so you have
to just be able to communicate well despite our love yeah or zach and bliss i fucking hated that
proposal on the boat here's the thing i hated it but i was also this is very zach and bliss
so it made sense i was like it's kind of chaotic he's like i was like
is he gonna fall off the boat he's like fumbling in his pocket he's like yeah yeah they had their
first kiss i mean i know it's love is blind so the other people like didn't even see each other
before they said yes to each other but it was like the dynamic changed you know bliss doesn't want to be anyone's
second choice yeah but she's also down to get engaged yeah i don't know they also do seem
like a good match like i think they could work yeah like when they hang out and have conversations
i'm like they're both delightfully weird yeah it just works very much leaning into that i'm like
they've got to be having
more conversations
than like Neopets
and like all these
other random
like Tamagotchi situations.
Like we've got to be
talking about more
than that, right?
I heard when they were filming
that people in charge
were not,
they weren't sold on Zach.
You know,
he was in the pods
and they were doing
their thing
and they were just like,
no,
we don't care about him.
And one of the like other, like maybe a lower producers were like, I gotta pay attention
to this guy.
I gotta pay attention to this guy.
And yeah, I think he's quickly becoming like the star.
He's the main character in a way.
I think he's getting the most airtime.
Yeah.
Right.
He's up there.
Yeah.
Choose your fighter. Zach's proposal or Zach's song in the pods. time. Yeah. Right? He's up there. Yeah. Choose your fighter.
Zach's proposal
or Zach's song
in the pods.
Oh my God.
Oh, the song was...
Also, not an original
we found out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What?
No.
Yeah.
He stole that from like
a 14-year-old YouTube video
or song that was put
on YouTube 14 years ago.
Zach.
Also, you know people are gonna find out dude yeah
yeah it's like it's the internet yeah yeah you're gonna go on one of the biggest shows and then love
yeah the love is blind fan bases he kind of looks like a property brother right no he does he looks
more like the property brothers and their actual third brother if you put them side by side he
looks like he could if he was an actor could be casted
in like a like some sort of comic book show he's got one of those like very memorable faces yeah
i'm i'm team zach even though he stole a song from a 14 year old that's not cool well the song
was 14 years old 14 year olds and who okay got it who wrote the song it's by lutto or ludo it's
called sarah's song and he basically like swapped out Irina's name and like put pods in there.
But the song itself is like, I found my Blarney stone.
Like it's the exact same song.
It came out in 2004.
This is also very Zach.
So I'm kind of into it.
I'm like, he would steal this like random episode.
Maybe he saw it because he swapped some words out.
It was suddenly an
original i don't know he's a lawyer and maybe he's not like practicing copyright law but like
criminal defense he committed a crime he did yeah copyright crime yeah it's not his expertise but
he shouldn't know better that just swapping on a couple words how does that work with like netflix if that's someone
else's can you sing i guess could i go on like the bachelor and sing like call me maybe no they
wouldn't like even like when i like if because i do stand up and like if you like are going to
quote a song it's like you can maybe do like the first line and sing it and then after that you'll
like have to pay for it is yeah there's
like no way so how did how did they get away with zach singing that song and them airing the whole
thing well i think they didn't know maybe because i've never heard of this song i also think well
zach's a lawyer so i do think he could be like none of the notes were the same because he was
pretty off key the whole time yeah but it's not quite honestly it's not
it's not zach's fight to pick it's netflix yeah honestly and i'm just wondering how netflix was
able to get away with it if it's someone else's song or maybe they didn't maybe there's someone
else coming forward and about to get paid yeah yeah get that money yeah get those hundreds of
dollars um yeah i don't know. I like Zach and Bliss.
The proposal was not my favorite.
I'm 50-50 on if they're going to say yes.
Zach and Bliss?
Yeah.
Zach's saying yes.
Because I think she's really bothered that she was the second choice.
Yeah.
And I think she's trying to be like, I'm over it.
I'm just going to tease you for a little bit longer.
But she says that.
And she gets to be on TV. Yeah. She gets to be like, I'm over it. I'm just going to tease you for a little bit longer. But she says that. And she gets to be on TV.
Yeah.
She gets to be a part of the show.
Exactly.
So she's incentivized to say yes to the engagement.
Yeah.
Engagements are super easy to get out of.
Yeah.
They're so.
Yeah.
Get a new piece of jewelry for a few weeks.
Lutto or Ludo.
I don't know how you pronounce it.
The band did tweet.
Yes, we know.
And the show got our permission.
Glad to know you guys are looking out for us
because so many people tagged him.
And he said, Zach himself said
I sang a lot of Ludo in the pods.
I may or may not have also sang another one
of their songs at a bar in Mexico.
So he's just got them on shuffle.
So he likes them. He's a big fan of them.
And so maybe when he said I
made it up say he shouldn't
have said i wrote you a song because he didn't in the heat of the moment now that i'm aware that like
it got netflix new and it got clearance that like that was him in the moment not necessarily
worrying about copyright law or tv but like trying to get in them draws yeah he was just like he was just like a panty dropper and so you know and imagine right you're on a date and let's say you're dumb or brave enough
however you want to look at to sing someone a song like even if you're john mayer i just don't
think you sing to someone it is so vulnerable such a way to give me the x i would have pretended to
fall asleep yeah i just anyway But if you do that,
you're not worried about like,
you're going to say I wrote you a song,
even if you inserted some words.
Maybe you're like,
yeah, well, I mean, I didn't write the...
And also it wasn't that good
that she wasn't like blown away.
Like, did you write that?
Did anyone watching that show?
Like, I don't think anyone,
the millions of people watching Netflix,
I don't think anyone the millions of people watching netflix i don't think anyone was
in disbelief that zach you know he didn't he didn't write that did it you know what i'm saying
it's like he just threw in some words and you know fine i do think we should normalize people
who don't have like good singing voices singing though i don't and i don't have a good voice
wow why would she
renormalize that i think it should be something like not not like we should all be forced to
listen to them in concert but i think like i feel like as someone who's very tone deaf like i will
never sing because like people don't want to hear that but i think there's actually i think people
have a lot of joy and like singing as more of like a collective experience sorry karaoke that's fine
singing in your house karaoke yeah but if you're tone deaf and i am and you want to sing in public
you you deserve to be shamed a little bit like i just don't think i don't want to live in a world
where everything is okay and everything is like it's your hot tape people won't try if they're
bad like they won't even try and I mean
in like private settings like I won't do karaoke
unless it's like. Cause you're scared
of the shaming. You're scared of someone
like this Mr. Investor
in Uggs over here. 50k
Fucking yeah just dropping
50k bets. I'm like there's people who
graduated musical theater school 10 years ago
who need this. I'm not gonna lose that bet. I know
I think you will win.
That is safe money uh yeah i just if you want to go and dance like a fool in public great but like i don't have to pretend it's good okay here's what i mean to say is that i think it
is more meaningful when someone who is bad at singing sings for you no it's not no it's not
that shit hurts my ears
and I'm embarrassed for you.
No, it's punishment.
Yeah, I don't want to hear that shit.
Don't sing to me ever.
No.
If you have a bad voice
and you're like trying to sing to me
to like...
It's like I'd rather...
Just put on a fucking
Spotify playlist.
Even if you have a good voice.
Like I'm like
I had this will they won't they thing
with this guy for years.
Yeah.
And he was telling me that he wants to sing to his bride on their wedding day and i was like
well it's a won't they i was like we're not doing this i was like that's yeah we're done again i
just john mayer i don't think his voice is good now what are you supposed to do you sit it's like
it's it's being sung happy birthday to on times 10 it's's awful. Yeah. Singing to you.
If you have like a really good voice,
isn't our wedding day.
You're going to sing me a song.
I'm going to slide out of my chair.
That's going to be hot.
Cause I'm so wet.
That's why I'm sliding.
No,
I get it.
I would just be sliding.
So,
you know,
it's because my vagina is dripping.
That's why I'm sliding.
I'm an adult.
I got it.
That's cool.
I think singing together is better oh no no no if you're both bad singers like go down together like you know what i mean you don't think it's better than at least it's you're doing i guess
i'm just thinking about like oh if it's like usher or somebody like singing team i'd be like
yeah well yeah if you're if you're dating usher you somebody like singing team i'd be like yeah well yeah if you're
dating usher you're like you're like yeah you sing and i'll i'll just get wet you know but
but i think it's a derrick's point right if it's not a professional if you're just too
like it's the whole idea that unless you're usher yeah you know you're putting through
someone you claim to love and want to impress
and probably want to have sex with and you're putting them through having to listen to you
think you're good right and then and and then say come out with these horrible noises i'm only saying
if you are a professional level or above then you can sing to me at our wedding okay yeah if that is your main job
if that is your type of record deal
correct if you have a record deal
yes if you're just
if you're a recreational singer
and you don't require any of that kind of
you know auto tune
yeah yeah then you can sing to me
because that would be like fire
yeah yeah great okay
glad we've established these ground rules.
I think it's good.
Though someone proposed, go for it.
We're ready.
So it was announced that the reunion
is going to be live on Netflix.
And I'm very excited about this.
I think this is groundbreaking television.
I think it's going to be an absolute mess.
I think it's possible that someone ruins their life.
Yeah.
Truly.
Yeah. it's live
and think about like bachelor afr live it's live but very limited in time you know you go out there
and it doesn't matter if you haven't talked to the person who broke your heart three months ago and
and you have so much to say you get out there and they're like all right you got 90 seconds
and maybe there's two segments in your arms you got two 90 like there's just not enough time right you got you know the
host talking and so you have to be very succinct and you have just enough time to like say a couple
platitudes and ask like one or two questions it's like why did you break my heart you know like
you know when did you know and shit like that that. That's not this. This is Netflix.
There's no commercial breaks.
They can let this shit go on for as long as they want.
It'll be good.
It'll be good.
What's interesting about Love is Blind, the cast,
is like, I think, generally speaking,
these people become fairly close.
They go through this very traumatic experience.
They're living in the same city,
so, like, just proximity, I'm sure they hang out a lot because, so like just proximity they get to i'm sure
they hang out a lot because like no one can relate to this craziness that they've gone through
and i have no doubt that right now there's a lot of conversations with cast being like so like
we're good right like you know and there's like a lot of like alliances being made and like
conversations but it just it won't matter because when they get in
that room producers are going to be talking to them and it just takes takes one grenade yeah it
just takes one bomb and maybe they'll show like the bachelor does where they like they they get
all the behind the scenes footage all the shit that was talked about and they can pile that
together to like a three minute like shit talking fest and they play that and be like,
you said what about, what the fuck, Irina?
Like, you know what I'm saying?
Like there's probably a lot more footage
of Irina and Paul just like rubbing up on each other.
Oh my God, foot in cleavage.
Yeah, and there's probably more.
There's probably more of it
and they're gonna show that to Micah
right before she comes out
and they'll have Vanessa and Nick just prompt them with some questions.
And they'll just wait until they're all.
It might be a slow start, but I just think there's going to be some real.
Yelling.
Yes.
And I think someone might say something that they'll forever regret.
I think it's going to be great.
I kind of want Tan France to host the reunion
because when he hosted the Selling Sunset reunion,
I don't know if you guys saw it.
He was really good.
He was.
He was straight up asking questions
that you could not wiggle out of.
And I was like, damn.
When they decided to show the G Flip music video
at the end and show it to everybody,
and then Chrishell was like, we're dating.
Everyone's facial expressions. And Tan's like like let's dive into this shall we i see the shock on your face yeah i i
hope nick and vanessa come prepared they better be ready to drag some people because so many people
are being messy yeah and talking so much shit i'm like we gotta get to the bottom of this yeah
what did you guys think of the conversation between Micah and Irina after the fact of
like Micah being like, what the fuck?
For me, I just felt like I was like, Micah, you're out here basically rubbing on Kwame's
dick and you're mad that like Irina was like flirting with Paul.
I'm like, you guys are doing the same thing.
So who cares?
You're both trifling.
And Micah's still doing it.
Yes.
She's still like the whole,
I mean, the last episode
essentially kind of ended
with more Micah and Kwame,
you know, with Micah being like,
do you have regrets?
And Micah does that whole like looks away,
like, ah, and that cackle that he has.
I can't fucking do.
And those are the moments that Paul and Chelsea,
they're not seeing.
You know, just the eye rolls or that kind of like
him not saying it, but like saying it with his body.
Like they're not, Chelsea and Micah,
like all these people, they're not seeing this stuff.
And when they do do it's gonna
be real I mean I hope Paul you know Paul has an opportunity to come out guns a-blazing yeah
yeah 100% and like even Kwame saying that he needs closure I'm like it was four days
closure from what yeah but he also said he'll always she'll she'll always be special to me yeah
like have a special place in my heart why yeah i'm like we cannot not micah no so i'm just i'm
i'm ready for the reunion i i want chelsea to fucking burn shit down yeah she needs to cuss
everybody out tiffany and brett will still be together being you know cute and then I don't know I hope Zach doesn't
because Zach has become like weirdly like everyone's therapist too yeah I I hope he doesn't
do that at the finale I hope he just kind of stays in his lane he's like winning right now
and everyone's kind of rooting for him i'm saying like so much can
change from that finale so who do you think is going to stay together like legitimately like
i guess brett and tiffany right i mean they seem like they genuinely yeah are like happy and good
and boring as fuck in the best possible way for them yeah yeah like they're having real
conversations about like finances and like lifestyle things
in a way where I think they were able to go in
with a level of detail that shows
that they can figure stuff out.
Like with Kwame and Chelsea,
it's like, so one of you lives in Portland,
one of you lives in Seattle,
neither of you want to move.
That's marriage.
That's marriage.
But like with Tiffany and Brett,
like they're really able to like
kind of get into the nitty gritty on this
and like navigate it. I honestly would believe if Kwame like rented an apartment
in Portland threw a bunch of shit in there I'm like yeah I live in Portland I can't be with you
he's going he's going out of his way just to like come up with anything possible to be undateable
yeah he's just like oh my running crew it's like I mean there are people who run in seattle oh yeah he plays soccer yeah
five days a week yeah i'm like yeah the people in seattle play soccer like literally anywhere
in the world yeah they play it's the biggest sport it's in the world literally the biggest
sport you'll be every country play soccer yeah yeah you're good what did you think of um micah's
whole like i split time between Arizona yeah what what is her job
she just like also I was
is anyone else surprised
by I was not expecting Micah's
parents to look the way they did
I was expecting Micah's parents to like
come in like almost like big Texas
parents with like some
money yeah you know
and a bit out of touch
you know like they i would expect them to
come from some mega church yeah to meet you know paul and micah yeah that's and they seemed quite
nice and adorable it was a little weird though of micah saying i'm not sure how much you know
about this process but we're and i'm like well it's kind of your job to tell your parents what
you're about to go and do
like did you tell them
you were going to summer camp
and was hoping someone
would give them an article
I think that's production shit
yeah I think you're like
not allowed to say
yeah they're like
you can't say engagement
anything
I don't even mean like that
I just mean like a lot of it
is just like
they're kind of
talking to the audience
when they have
these conversations
so it's a lot about
exposition
yeah
and things like that.
Also, Paul's mom also did not expect that.
Same.
He was a ball, but...
Did you see his TikTok, though?
No.
I'm pretty sure it was Paul
because she was the one with the hat
and the bright dress.
Yeah.
And he was like,
when you tell your mom
that she's going to be on TV for the first time
and she just shows up with this floppy hat
and red dress.
And he was like, subtle mom. I was like like what in the white lotus is going on i will say it was a little weird when he was like
you're you i think he was saying basically like michael like reminds him of his mom well i mean
they they look like i know i didn't like that's not. The mom was so excited. I know, but that's weird.
You have the same hair.
That's weird.
No, yeah.
But also it happens.
I know, but I'm like, don't marry someone.
Don't own it on national television.
Yeah, maybe even if that's how you feel like you like, I really want to basically marry
a young version of my mom.
Don't fucking say it on TV.
Yeah.
Don't say it.
Keep that to yourself.
Yeah, because that's's gonna get clipped out
and it's gonna make the rounds on social
meets you know and especially when
she looks like
identical
Micah should be her child
not Paul
it looked like
Micah got in a time machine
went forward you know 25
years and came back and met paul and played the role of
his mom that's what it looks like it was that gave me the ick and i was like abort mish but i don't i
do not think micah and paul will both say yes well they showed in the preview i think it was
and they made it seem so you know
maybe this is like editing magic but like it seemed to be micah at the altar saying i think
for the sake of this relationship you should answer first what does it even mean like she
doesn't want to be rejected if he says no kind of right i don't know yeah she's only gonna say yes
if he says yes yeah can she say that and say no regardless i mean she can do it if she wants
but that's you can say whatever but like hey i you you go first and he's like oh cool she just
she wants a little insurance like he's like okay micah we've been a slow burn and i just the more
i get to know about you i know we have a long way to go but i want you with me and like gives this whole speech yeah and then she's like no no i do not could she do that yes is she capable yes absolutely if she doesn't her friend shelby
or whatever oh yeah she will race up that altar and be like you fucking suck you know how to talk
you have a steady job fuck you man like she is just like hates him
I want the best for you
but she does not
Shelby and Irina would be like peas in a pod
nobody introduced them like they would be like the most
powerful horrific duo like
Micah's best friend and Irina
like they have the same energy
well that's why they're friends
it's just hard because I feel like you know those people
where you can tell that they've been like ride or dies for a
really long time,
enable each other's toxic side,
have definitely like been there through it all.
Like don't really hold each other to maybe super high standards in a lot of
regards.
So in that way,
it feels like this unconditional loyalty.
And it's just like,
you're like your friend sucks and you don't see it.
And there's no way to make someone see it.
Well,
they suck because myah kind of sucks.
Yeah, I mean, again, from what we're seeing on TV,
it tracks that those are her friends.
Yeah, yeah.
She made her best friend in the pods was Irina.
And as you just said,
it looks like her bestie and Irina could be also friends.
Like, they're mean girls.
Yeah.
That's unfortunate. That's their kind of default yeah you know and they call it humor and it's not a big deal but at the end of
the day like they're just they're catty mean girls they are obviously clearly have their insecurities
instead of owning it they just decide to try to make other people feel worse so they feel better
about themselves. Amen.
That's just like who they are.
Do you think Jackie will go out with Josh?
Do you think she will break up with Marshall and go out with Josh?
No.
I don't.
Yeah.
I think she'll fuck with Josh.
She will make him think he has a chance
because she wants attention and the validation
and she wants to know she can.
But at the end of the day,
she's not going to.
She doesn't want to fuck with Josh.
I want Chelsea to go on perfect match.
That's what I want.
I think Kwame's a shoo-in.
Oh, for sure. He's going to be playing games left
and right. But the reason why
I want Chelsea on there, because I'm like, I really
do feel like
she could match
with someone
legit.
Especially from like
the circle or the mole
like with people
who are like kind of
like strategic
and like in that way.
Her dad seems like
a sweetheart.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Oh my gosh.
So cute.
Yeah.
And that's one of those
moments where you're like
the gravity and stakes
of the reality show
of like watching this man
like string her along
who clearly could not give less of like a shit about her you're like oh like
it's so humanizing and so upsetting like when you have those like family moments like to add gravity
to it all right well let's do texting office hours and then we'll uh come back and wrap up
some love is blind a discourse with uh phoebe and uh wrap things up.
How's it going?
Good.
How are you?
Good.
What's your name?
My name is Haley.
I am 36.
How can we help Haley?
I am looking for some advice on how to text a guy I met in my building
about five months ago.
I was not single at the time,
but I am now and just curious.
Okay.
How did you get his number?
He gave it to you?
He did.
It was back in November.
I was doing laundry and I ran into him in the laundry room.
I was loading my washer.
He was loading his dryer.
We had some witty banter and it was really quick, but kind of cute. And I left the laundry
room, said, have a great night. And I had come back later to grab my clothes out of the dryer
and he had left a note on my dryer and it said, do these clothes belong to the attractive woman that told me to have a good night? And if so, are you single?
And if so, maybe text me.
And then he left me his number.
That is so cute.
And I wasn't single, but that has kind of stuck with me for a while.
Did you keep the note?
Like, do you still have the Post-it note?
I didn't keep the note.
Fair.
No, I...
That would have been kind of weird.
Well, that's...
I wanted to know. I didn't feel okay keeping the note, but relationship was not going very well.
I wanted to be respectful and not pursue anything, but also again, I was curious and it was a
really cute meetup.
So I had texted my friend a photo of the note and i was like ah
still got it you know um she knew that me and my boyfriend were not in a good place
so um so i have a photo of the note with his number i think you should just text him yeah
and just be straight up and be like hey it, it's the hot chick from the laundry room.
You know, you got to bounce your stuff off a little bit.
Just like, I was in a relation.
That ended.
We had a vibe.
I would love to, like, grab a drink or something.
Just keep it, like, super chill.
And, like, I think he'll be into that.
Do you know where he lives?
No.
So it's a pretty big complex.
And there's just one central laundry room.
So I know he lives in the area, but I don't know specifically where. And I don't even, I know, I don't even know his name. He didn't put his name on the note.
Oh.
And I think we just, yeah, we do what Phoebe said and just send a text. Lay it all out there because for all we know, he could be in a different relationship at this point.
I was like, okay, finally got my clothes from the dryer that yeah i'll put with the joke yeah
that'll be cute do you have a picture of the you have a picture of the note yeah maybe we send them
the note oh i like that just a little callback yeah and then maybe like the send the photo of
the note and then say finally picked up my clothes from the dryer and would love to grab a drink yeah because then maybe if you do
grab a drink on your first date then you can explain i was in a relationship what's what's a
clever way you know what's a what's a clever fun way we can have her do this like what's the note like we send the picture of the note and then what's wasn't single then
is that uh offer still stand or something like that or or or like um i promise i don't take
this long to make decisions i was in a relationship how about a drink now you know something yeah i
don't know just a little
little bit of humor
yeah
yeah or you could like
copy some of his phrasing
that he uses
in his original note
be like
now if you're single
or something like that
I just don't want you to like
explain yourself
in a message
right
that's why I was saying
like just do the
hey sorry
I was in a relationship
I'm single now
I wasn't single then
but I'm single now
like are you still interested
it's just a little I think i think get the picture from your friend include that in a text
i mean like uh cute girl here i swear i don't take this long to make decisions i was in a
relationship but if you're still available i am now yes you let's do laundry together
briefly explain why i didn't reach out for five months i
think you mentioned yes that you were in a relationship okay because you know and it's
you kind of like you told you know you keep in the picture you know it's a little shady but you
didn't do anything wrong technically and you're breaking up and so it'll flatter him
while at the same time not giving him any red flags yeah that like you know he can't trust you
it's like oh this person was in a relationship you keeping the note will just make him think
he's like awesome you know because he's hot or whatever you know not creepy no it's cute it's really cute he'll be he will
feel flattered if he's single he's definitely gonna take you on that date yeah do you have
the picture the note i it's on my phone that i'm calling him so we can't send it right now
will you send it as soon as we get off yes absolutely? Yes. Absolutely. Yes. Yeah, so you send a picture of the note,
and it's...
I think it's the...
Sorry.
What did you say about the lingerie?
Sorry.
I finally got my clothes from the dryer.
I think that's funny.
Yeah.
Finally got my clothes from the dryer.
Also, I'm single now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Also, I'm single now.
Yeah, because then it's like the single now.
It's like,
I got my clothes from the dryer. Also, I'm single now yeah because then it's like the single now is like i got my clothes
from the dryer also i'm also i'm single now if you want to grab a drink let's grab that drink
i'm ready for that drink yes don't ask just say i'm ready for that drink yes if he's not if he's
not in a relationship he'll let you know you don't need to yeah you don't have to give him the whole
like if you're available so yeah yeah i only got my clothes from the dryer also i'm single now and i'm ready for that drink yes be direct you're a boss
bitch obviously you made such a huge impression on this guy that he came back to leave his number
like you got this it was so sweet it has been the longest time since someone's actually hit on me in real life. And I think that's why it just stuck with me for so long.
Yeah, he just seemed really genuine.
And again, it was a brief interaction.
I'm just curious.
And the worst that's going to happen is he's not single and I move on.
Yeah, it's literally the worst.
It's so low stakes.
And then you already have an immediate banter conversation because if he responds right away you can be like oh god thank god i thought you're gonna make me
wait five months if he takes like three days then you can be like you can kind of just play off that
as like a a way to kind of rift with him i don't know yeah okay yeah i like that great let us know yeah please update us as well let us know well
good luck thanks you guys no this is perfect i definitely um didn't really know how to approach
the five month issue but you don't even know his name be direct yeah i don't even know his name
also yeah in your first message by the way what's your name see i feel like that should come after he responds yeah yeah
yeah don't say that the first one is direct we're sending it it's brief it's flirty yeah
it's and then if they have this banter of oh thank god i thought you're gonna take five months
also what's your name yeah or like if he's like but make sure you include your name in the first
message okay oh yeah at the end just be likealey. Yeah. Almost sign off the text.
Yeah.
I think this is going to go positively.
Yeah.
I feel good about this one.
Yeah.
I hope so.
Yeah.
So he lives in your building, though.
And it's a big one?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's big.
I haven't run into him since.
Trust me.
I've been looking.
That is a slight, slight like just be careful because like you don't
want to like date and then it doesn't work out and you but she hasn't run into him since though
that's true it's been five months like yeah it's a pretty big place so maybe you're fine
it's one of those massive apartment we went off for up apartment numbers just yet
yeah very convenient though yeah things. Should things escalate.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Well,
good luck.
Let us know.
Thanks.
I will.
Thank you so much.
I appreciate it.
All right.
Bye.
Bye.
That's so cute.
I want a little meet cute like that.
In the laundry room?
Who doesn't?
I haven't had a meet cute since my last relationship.
What was the meet cute?
If it's not upsetting.
No, it's totally fine.
We were together five years.
Tell us about it.
Tell us about that fairy tale you thought was going to come true.
But this was 2017.
I'm a massive U2 fan.
I travel all over to see them.
The band?
Yes.
Really?
They're my favorite band.
I've seen them 19 times.
Really?
Around the world.
I've seen them in India really like around the world like i've seen them like in india like copenhagen i once saw who's the guitarist the edge the edge i saw
him at a restaurant in chicago one night that's cool i love it yeah so you're like the only person
who was happy when they forcibly downloaded their album onto everyone's phone yeah that was weird
they tried a thing it didn't work it's okay yeah shooters gotta shoot exactly but um and so they
were doing like their joshua tree tour like anniversary tour at metlife stadium and they're
there a couple of nights i went one night and then this person who used to be in the lumineers
invite like like two dope queens and invited me to the second show and I was like okay yeah I'll go to that and then she was like a great um our tour manager will like you know take you in
and so I was stuck in so much traffic it took me and my friend like three hours to get to MetLife
it was crazy so I was texting the store manager like we're almost there just kidding we're not
we're almost there just kidding we're not and I didn't realize every time I was saying like we're almost there just kidding we're not we're almost there just kidding we're not and I didn't realize every time I was saying like we're almost there he's like running out of the
stadium to come meet us and then going back like you know I just didn't really get it like what a
tour manager did really so anyway we finally parked the show had started already uh I think
the lumineers were like on and I texted him I was like when is YouTube going on he was like I don't know 10 minutes I like ran around the like stadium and I met him he's like in a suit with tattoos and I was
like oh that must be the tour manager he's like hi I'm so-and-so blah blah blah and I was like
we've been stuck in a car for three hours you're giving me a hug so I just gave him this huge hug
and then I was like okay I'm ready to go see the show and then I was just really not paying
attention to him because I was like it's all about YouTube but then I went to, OK, I'm ready to go see the show. And then I was just really not paying attention to him because I was like, it's all about
YouTube.
But then I went to the after party and we kind of like hit it off.
But then nothing happened.
He was like, oh, I have to take the band, the Luminous, back to the hotel.
But if you're ever in Portland, which is where I am, like, let me know and we can hang
out.
I'm thinking I'm like, I'm not traveling to Portland to see some fucking guy.
You know what I mean?
Because I really was just like in my I want to be single. I don't want anything like I just want to be with my girls
and then a couple weeks later I was like oh I met this really cute guy at the U2 concert
and they're like what does he look like so I had to find him on Instagram he was private so I had
to like request him and then we just like started talking and so like each city he would go to he
would be he would send me a picture of like the sunset or the sunrise and be like, this is what we did today.
And then I would send him a picture of like what I did in Brooklyn.
And like we like talked every it was like the cutest thing.
And then I was going to go shoot a thing overseas.
And so I was like, I'm going to go out of the country for two months.
What if I just came to Portland for a weekend and we just like hang out
and he was like okay and then i did and we had like the most magical weekend did you stay with
him or did you get a hotel i got a hotel but i ended up just staying with him the whole time
and it was so cute and i flew back to new york and i was like oh man i think i'm gonna fall in
love with this dude and then he was like you're leaving for serbia in a week why don't i just come to new
york until you leave and we'll just like hang out and i was like okay and so then we had this
whirlwind romance became boyfriend and girlfriend before i flew off to serbia and we're together
for five years and it petered out but that's just like such a cute yeah little international love
affair yeah i know so i need, if you know any guys.
They're not good enough for you.
That's what everyone says, but what?
No, someone has to be good enough for me.
I'm not that great.
Well, it's just more like all of my good enough friends.
They're taken.
They're taken.
Yeah, and the rest have couches from the sidewalk.
I don't know, some basher guys, maybe.
Exactly, you know? Because I the sidewalk. I don't know, some bachelor guys, maybe. Exactly, you know?
Because I feel like, I don't know.
Is there anyone from Bachelor Nation that you're...
I did like Rodney.
I feel like he should have been the bachelor.
I don't know what happened there.
Rodney's legit, yeah.
Yeah, he's a good guy.
Can you set them up?
Sure.
That'd be cute.
Yeah.
Rodney, I would totally go on a date with Rodney.
He seems like a good time.
Totally.
Why was he not chosen as a bachelor?
I don't get it.
Yeah.
Because they couldn't pass up on Clayton, you know?
Compelling.
That like, it was just too obvious of a choice with Clayton.
No, Rodney's great.
But even with Zach, I would have chosen Rodney over Zach
yeah
maybe Rodney
didn't want to do it
but I don't buy that
maybe Rodney's waiting for you
Rodney would have done it
maybe Rodney's writing
a note for you
to leave
to leave on your dryer
yeah they didn't ask
yes
what questions
do we hope
get asked at the finale
I want more
information
on the sex life
of Marshall and Jackie
yes
it's like what did you mean Jackie when you asked him to be more is it aggressive I want more information on the sex life of Marshall and Jackie. Yes.
It's like, what did you mean, Jackie,
when you asked him to be more, is it aggressive?
Yeah.
Aggressive.
He also said that she said he wasn't being man enough. And then she also said that we don't have sex.
So I'm like, so they're not.
At all?
That's what I want to know.
Yeah. I feel like Marshall try to light some candles
he tried to light a diptych and she was like no
too much romance I'm out
and he was like was spurred into her ear
and was like
and she was like she just wanted
to get she wanted to get railed
yeah yeah
she wanted to be like decommissioned.
Yeah.
Like she wanted.
She wanted her back blown out.
Yeah.
Yes.
Lay that pipe.
Do you think Jackie's into like some 50 shades of gray type of shit?
Probably.
Is that what she wants?
Yeah.
She wants to not be able to move.
She wants a red room.
Yeah.
A little choky choky.
Yeah.
She wants to be a little sore the next day.
Yeah.
In the thigh area.
She needs safe words.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A little.
Yeah. And Marshall's just like, I i don't i just make love yeah he's like i'm just missionary babe like he's like we're procreating right now
yeah look at each other's eyes you know the whole thing yeah yes i need some more answers on that
i also want to ask Chelsea I just have so many questions that I want to ask her I just want her
I want her to be like let's be honest about the like Micah Kwame of it all like I know it's like
oh we resolved it like now I'm just focusing on my man but I'm like in the back of your mind were
you always just worried that Micah was gonna come in at the 11th hour and steal your man because it just feels like he's not really invested in her she's got to
feel that on some level we know with almost certainty that Kwame and Chelsea won't end up
together correct Paul and Micah if they don't what are the chances that Micah and Kwame have had sex since?
Well, where would they have done it?
Portland or Arizona?
Either way.
He will fly for that.
Their Venn diagrams don't overlap.
He's flying for sex.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They will fuck all the time.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't...
He'll try to Seattle.
Yeah, yeah.
He doesn't care.
He'll play soccer in Arizona after he fucks her.
Done.
Done.
Great trip.
Dusty soccer game.
Yeah, I want to find out what.
Yeah, I want to find out.
That's where I'm really hoping there's some fucked up shit going on for my for the sake
of this show.
I think there will be.
I think Zach and Bliss. I don't know. Now I think now I think if they're going to make it, I think they will be I think Zach and Bliss
I don't know
now I think if they're going to make it
I think they're going to make it
Zach and Bliss yeah I think they're going to make it
I think they will both say yes at the altar
I don't know that's crazy
Bliss will be the one that says no if someone says no
correct yeah absolutely
but I do think they are compatible
I do too
I think like if they weren't
on this show and they just met in real life they would like just date like legitimately you know
like i'm like yeah they'd be boyfriend girlfriend they would swipe on each other on hinge yeah and
then like get along and 100 what would oh arena didn't she have some sort of apology what was
that all about oh yeah her tiktok she did an apology well she it was kind of it was like this experience holds
a mirror up and you see yourself more clearly and you know i was resulting to humor as a coping
mechanism which i was like i don't know if you're funny or just mean yeah she was just mean yeah
yeah as a certified stand-up comedian i was like no it's just being super mean for the sake of it
i am sure she was trying to be funny, but she also knew she was being mean.
Yeah.
It was also shoving someone else's fiance's foot in her boobies.
That was weird.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's got great boobs.
If I had those, I'd be showing them off too.
Amen.
Yeah.
Right.
Shove a foot in there.
I wouldn't even know.
Put a foot, put some house keys.
I don't give a fuck.
Just get up in there, you know?
She said, truly, I want to add value to people and I want to make people feel seen.
And who I was on the show was the complete exact opposite of that person.
Bitch, please.
How are you going to add value?
I'm confused.
Yeah, it's love is blind.
What value are you adding?
This is not a nonprofit.
Yeah.
Actually, I did look up Micah's job when you asked about it
and she used to do marketing for non-profits but now she works for salesforce micah works
for salesforce another salesforce alumni in reality tv no shit damn she makes that much
money to have two properties i guess who knows it could be like like a rental she could also
have like if like her sister or parents live in Arizona.
I don't know.
Or vice versa.
Yeah.
Because wasn't her,
her parents were in Seattle.
Do we know,
what does she do for Salesforce?
Look over her LinkedIn.
This is incredible.
Friend her on LinkedIn.
I know.
I wonder if she and Nick have any mutual,
do you have a LinkedIn?
Yeah,
I haven't logged on since my Salesforce days.
Yeah.
Let me pull up Nick Viall LinkedIn.
Yeah, I haven't logged into it.
I think it still says I work at Salesforce.
My LinkedIn was probably when I was an executive assistant.
So that was like 2014, 2013.
Oh my God, Nick.
Why is this your photo?
Oh my God.
Who are you?
You look like a school
guidance counselor oh my god
I love that photo
thank you you're staring into my soul
it's so cute
you're an account executive yeah
Nicholas hasn't posted lately
yeah I hate to see it
she is a marketing
campaign manager at Salesforce
for the past five months good for her according to
this nick vial is still an account executive at salesforce he's been there for 10 years
hasn't been promoted in seven years he's still thriving still stuck
wait nick what was like your favorite part of the Bachelor experience? Because I feel like it's so...
Paradise.
Oh, okay.
It's just like the most fun, like low stakes, right?
It's chill, it's fun.
Yeah, you're hanging out with friends.
You know, you really just want to hang out on the beach.
You don't really...
In Bachelor World, it's all about the dates.
And if you're not on the date, you're just hanging out with a bunch of people.
You get real sick of real fast.
That's cute.
Paradise was fun.
Okay.
Yeah.
I do like watching
Bachelor in Paradise.
Well,
let's make a date
between me and Rodney Happen.
All right,
let's make a date.
Yes.
Go take them to
Din Tai Fung.
A little group activity.
Yeah.
See if the vibes are good.
Do you want Nick on your first date?
Do I what?
That's not a date.
They can start as a group.
I like a group date.
Yeah, do you prefer a date? I'll set's not a date do you prefer we can start as a group I like a group date yeah do you prefer
I'm not a set
I'll set you up
and then you step away
I step away
okay
I'll go to
Dentai Funko
yeah
it's the three of us
no group hang
I'm down a group hang
but if there's a
if there's like a
a setup happening
it's like fine
cause it's like
you can all just
sort of like kiki
and then if you wanna
have like a moment
you can like sort of sneak away.
Then they'll go home.
They like to go to bed early.
You guys can go out for a drink.
I come back April 20th through the 22nd because I'm doing Family Feud.
Oh shit.
Yeah, I'm the captain.
I'm playing for charity.
I'm playing for this charity called Red.
Celebrity Family Feud?
Yeah, I don't know who I'm playing against.
I have no idea.
Who's on your team?
My brother.
Okay.
He's doing it.
He's great.
He's a politician in Ohio.
Super cute.
June Diane Raphael.
Elaine Walter Roth.
And then Takara Cash, who was in my show, Everything's Trash.
So it's going to be fun.
I'm really excited.
So I'll be here.
But I come back and forth between New York and LA a lot.
All right.
Well, hit me up the next time you're here. Yes.onnie's in town we'll get some din song yes i love this
uh phoebe thank you so much for coming thanks for having me please let my audience know you have a
tour yes coming up or it's out yes you have a special you just launched yeah so the tour is
called messy af it's a theater tour going all over the country.
It starts in September.
I'll be hitting up like Chicago, D.C., Seattle, San Francisco, Houston, Minneapolis.
So go to PhoebeRobinson.com to get tickets.
It's going to be super fun.
Yeah, I'm really stoked.
It's my first stand-up tour since 2019
because covet sort of like changed everything and then i was working on other stuff so i'm
really excited to get out there tell some dick jokes and just have a good time love it come see
me and the working people follow you on the social dope queen phoebs p-h-e-e-b-s on twitter
tiktok instagram facebook all the same yeah great keep it simple all right yeah uh thank you so on Twitter, TikTok, Instagram, Facebook,
all the same.
Yeah.
Great.
Keep it simple.
All right.
Yeah.
Thank you so much again for coming.
It's been a ton of fun.
Thanks for having me.
Can't wait to get some dim sum with you.
Yes.
Also,
we will be back next week.
Obviously,
we have our Ask Nick episodes.
Don't forget,
we have another episode of Better Date Than Never tonight as well.
What are we talking about, Amanda?
We are talking about getting off the apps.
So like transferring off the apps, like getting to texting, getting to the first date, just
kind of like how you go from the dating app to the IRL experience.
Also, if you have any of your weird sex stories and hookup places that always are fan favorites,
they're always welcome.
Throw them in the chat.
I'm sure we'll be chatting about that.
You always have a home at Better Date Than Never. we'll be you always have a home i'd better date
than that i'll always have a home exactly uh next week uh on tuesday we'll be breaking down the
newest episodes of love is blind with violet benson and then we have girl boss down next week
thursday on going deeper and you know she's always chimed in the most relevant pop culture topics. We'll get the latest trends, the latest updates from Girl Boss Town again, and then more recapping of
Love is Blind next Tuesday. Go check out Vile Files Plus if you haven't already. It's rated
amazing. And if you do subscribe to Vile Files Plus and you're wanting to hear those Better
Date Than Never episode, just a heads up, that will be in a feed separate from the general feed
where you get all
of our classic shows the pop culture roundups that release on friday uh and our update episodes a few
times a month uh better date than ever has its very own show feed so been getting some questions
about that and there's a whole library waiting for you if you have yet to subscribe download
the better date than ever feed we also have an update plus episode dropping this Friday.
Bada bing, bada boom.
There you go.
So if you love those updates,
make sure you check out Vile Files Plus.
It's a doozy.
So many episodes.
So many episodes.
So little time.
We're tired, people.
I was like, damn, this is like 27,000 episodes.
Yeah.
Holy shit.
I'm impressed.
You guys are kicking ass.
We're cranking
poachy snaps for this thank you congratulations bye