The Viall Files - E577 Scandoval at the White House with Howie Mandel and Jackelyn Shultz
Episode Date: May 2, 2023Welcome back to The Viall Files: Freestyle Edition! Today we are joined by Howie Mandel and Jackelyn Shultz to hear what really went down during their interview with Tom Sandoval. What questions did J...ackelyn have prepared for the interview, and why didn’t Howie let her ask them? We then have a “Sweating the Wedding'' caller who is hoping to meet up with a crush while she’s in town for a wedding. We help her send a message and end up getting several responses that we tackle on air. “I never condoned cheating. Will you tell your mother that?” Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://viallfiles.supportingcast.fm/ Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to asknick@theviallfiles.com to be a part of our Monday episodes. Join us for our new LIVE show on Thursdays at 9PM ET/6PM PT on Amp, available in the Apple app store. Android User? Listen here: https://www.onamp.com/ To Order Nick’s Book Go To: http://www.viallfiles.com If you would like to get some texting advice on Office Hours send an email to asknick@theviallfiles.com with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line! To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://www.advertisecast.com/TheViallFiles THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Babbel - Right now, get up to 55% off your subscription when you go to https://www.Babbel.com/viall ShipStation - Get a 60-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/viall Thanks to ShipStation for sponsoring the show! IQ Bar - Now get 20% off all IQBar products, plus get FREE shipping. To get your 20%off, just text FILES to sixty-four thousand. Drizly - Drizly is the #1 app for alcohol delivery. Download the Drizly app or go to https://www.Drizly.com Fast Growing Trees - Join over ONE POINT FIVE MILLION happy Fast Growing Trees customers! Go to https://www.FastGrowingTrees.com/VIALL now to get 15% off your entire order. Episode Socials: @viallfiles @nickviall @howiemandel @jackelynshultz @alison.vandam @liffordthebigreddog @dereklanerussell
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Welcome back to another exciting episode of the Vile Files Freestyle Edition.
I'm your host, Nick, joined by the household of Allie, Amanda, and Derek.
Boy, do we have a wild and wacky episode for you today the one the
only Howie Mendel is with
us today with his wonderful
daughter Jacqueline who mostly
is here to talk about doing homework
and scandal of
it all it was it's a while episode I want to give too much
away it's really really good
it was fun obviously we get into
his interview with Tom
the response from the public after the fact.
We hash it out with Howie and Jacqueline and see if we can find some common ground.
I hope.
I think you'll all enjoy it.
Before we do, I got back from Stagecoach this weekend.
How was it?
I had a...
How would I describe it?
I had a spiritual experience. spiritual experience i might be overselling
i and i i don't know if you know this about me i have not been a country music fan for my entire
life it just it has not necessarily really resonated with me it's just not for me it's
fine you know whatever i've been very resistant to it nally has always been a country music fan
and as someone who's in a uh a long-term committed relationship with someone who's a big country music fan, you tend to hear
more and more of it. And I will say, so I've been introduced to it and I've realized that I've
started to like more songs than I realized. For example, we got engaged to a country song,
Zach Bryant's song. I had an incredible experience experience here's what i'll say about a country music festival it is a great place to be if you're feeling very in love it really it really is like
this the vibe you know just it there's it's great storytelling the music you know and i and as
someone who's often made fun of country music and the stories like when you're there the people
there there's a sense
of people desire it's it's the wholesomeness of family and community and love and heartbreak and
breakups and sadness and it's uh i had a really great time and i guess if you know natalie and i
i think we mentioned this on the show before but we we we started couples therapy uh not long ago
um and in fact if you're if you're more interested in that, we do have an episode with Taylor and Taylor
Lautner coming out.
I think this week it's called The Squeezes, their show.
But Natalie talked more about her therapy journey and why she's in it.
And then we kind of subsequently started couples therapy after that.
If you're interested, I think it comes out this weekend.
But part of our couples therapy has been more and and honestly like for all the people who listen
to this show who are in relationships who have wondered if they should get couples therapy
who have thought about it and thought oh well we don't really have a problem we're not really
you know we're good ever since we started it i think now and i just both wish we would have
just started it sooner because for us and i don't know how it is for everyone but so much of it has
been about just like staying connected like so everything about a relationship now is are we connecting and if we you know and
so if someone's frustrated about something or whatever it's more the it's it's more of a unified
goal of like hey I feel less connected how and then the other person we're trying to stay connected
so if you go to a country music concert we were just very connected it was just a very fun emotional
experience it was great it was hot as hell yeah
wasn't it in triple digits like 105 well yeah but we didn't go until night and then oh my god
have you been to these grounds we we had a journey on friday night we went out the wrong exit and
there's these grounds but it's huge it's super flat and it's super big and like the roads are
closed so like every block is like a mile, you know?
And so there's just various exits.
And if you go out the wrong exit,
you're on the wrong side of the grounds
with every street closed,
with no way to get an Uber or a car or anything.
And so we went out the wrong fucking way the first night.
And at this point, Natalie's feet was full of blisters.
And we had a 40 minute walk in front of us
with no way to get picked up
in like the middle of like the fucking desert and so i'm carrying her like a half a mile on my back
like obviously i knew we were going to be fine but there was like an element of like survival
like mode going on like at one point then she like took off her shoes because of the blisters
and then she was walking on grass and then then she stepped on these spikes, and there were tears. It was a whole thing,
but we lived through it. And honestly, after the next day, it felt like another bonding experience
in a way, something that we survived together. I mean, obviously, none of our lives were not in
danger, but it was great. I like i said we we really disconnected with
people i ran into rachel talked to bachelorette rachel bachelorette rachel we talked yeah it was
fun yeah was that the first time you'd met in person we had met briefly it was the first time
we talked i also ran into katie thurston oh lovely experience yeah that was also fun saw a lot of nice people um it was really yeah uh john john purdy
was i think is his name he got an award and made me cry because it just felt like he
i felt like i was watching a a memorable experience and then kane brown he was great
dancing and then chris stapleton wow beautiful musician chris stapleton. Wow. Beautiful musician. Chris Stapleton, to me, again, non-country person.
I went there very like, it was like Natalie was just like,
I didn't know anyone's name.
I didn't know where we were going.
Like I've heard some of these songs through Natalie,
but like I didn't know what these people looked like.
I didn't know their names.
It was all just like a new experience.
I really truly fell in love with it all.
Chris Stapleton's like, i feel like country's version of john
maher but just a lot less fuck boy because like the voice and the music and the lyrics
are all just really beautiful and like just it's poetry in a sense and like john maher's music is
incredible maybe chris stapleton is a fuck boy he doesn't come across as fuck boyish he comes
across as more wholesome.
And I'm not trying to accuse John Mayer of anything,
but he just gives off a little bit more fuck boy.
I give off fuck boy,
so I'm not trying to come at you, John.
But what a great experience.
I do think country music festivals
are in Nellie and I's future.
It's just really bonding.
If you're in love
and if you're feeling connected with your partner. Chris Stapleton's been married since 2007 not a fuck boy see there it is there
it uh i had a great time i am i'm now i now i know like another reason why i know natalie is my
person because my whole life i've hated country music and i have dated other people who like country music and she's the first person to make me like it oh so there you go there you go did you catch the episode of vanderpump i did from
last week yes so doozy oh my god and i was bummed because i really wanted to talk to lala about it
because she was uh another once again a star oh my god a firecracker because we had our classic
like drink throwing return to reality tv roots and then the back and forth between Lala and Schwartz at the very end at the bar. I feel like they said some shit.
Oh, they were both just talking over each other. Although I did find it interesting that at the end of it and she said, my, you know, my brand and my job is what allows me to care for my daughter. And Schwartz backed up was like you are an excellent mother that was the one place he was not willing to go yeah yeah smart well
because she is i feel like that was my biggest impression of her when i like first meeting her
was like the way that she talked about her ex she was so careful to frame it as like and i'm so
grateful that ocean is in my life like she was without in any way like it wasn't a gotcha question
at all it's just always on her mind making sure that her daughter feels like loved and like she is the
center of her world and it's so beautiful you know what i love about lala she knows how to pick a side
she's not afraid to pick a side and at the same time she's also not unwilling to give her
opposition grace but she will challenge you and she'll push you. And she
might not always be right, but like she has, even in this episode, she has shown humility.
She has recognized her faults, but she knows how to pick a side. And I like people who take a stance
now. And it doesn't mean when, you know, taking a stance means not being willing to listen to the
other POV or in hearing them out and have a discussion but tom schwartz
doesn't seem like a guy who's willing to usually pick a side he always tries to be switzerland
i mean here he got caught in a lot of crossfires and you know what are you gonna do and as he's
sitting there with his chicken wings i like how he just sits down with his two dozen chicken wings
that he's ordered well it's ironic because we're always like oh he's the nice guy he's so good with
the flow like he was the one who started
the drama with his joke about Rochella
at the birthday party.
They got a drink thrown in his face. It's like as much as we're like,
oh, he sees it going and like, yeah,
maybe he like puts his foot in his mouth every now
and then, but like he just wants everyone to be happy
and that was like totally unprovoked.
Yeah. Yeah, but like
that's not him taking a side. That's him just being
loose. I agree with that. And then kind of being like, what's the big taking a side that's him just being loose i agree with that
and kind of being like what's the big deal man i'm just like having fun it's like my point is
that he's somehow able to create so much drama without having like principles that are like
clear and known to us yeah it was a wild episode i'm really bummed that we don't get to talk to
lala but i thursday's episode is going to be wild i I promise you. And fun. And we'll probably get into more
of Vanderpump
discussions. Also,
I was going to have... I DM'd
Oliver to come on.
Yeah. Because I want to know.
I was like, why the
fuck did you show up for this shit?
Did he respond? He did.
And he was like, I'm down. And I was like...
And he lives in Vegas. So I was like, well, down. And I was like, and he lives in Vegas.
So I was like, well, we'll do a Zoom.
Because what I was going to do is have him Zoom in and have Howie and Jacqueline interview him again or conduct another interview with me.
And then like a few hours later, Oliver's like, nah, I'm good.
I think he maybe did his homework and maybe.
Should I try and find him on Saturday?
We were maybe going to go to the Vanderpump cocktail place anyways.
You absolutely should.
Should I go try and find him and interview him in person?
Or you should just say, hey, I work for Nick.
I'm going to bring one of our little portable mics.
I work for Nick on the Vow Files.
I know he asked you on.
You should come on.
Van Damme on the street?
Van Damme on the street?
I want to know why he decided to go on and play into this narrative that he
even his mom
and Lisa when he
wasn't there was talking about his
marriage his relationship
it was like they were trying to insert his
life into this story
I find it fascinating giving that that story
wasn't very flattering and I'm just
curious why he wanted to do that yeah
I'll see if i can find
him yeah anyway are you guys country music fans you're not what do you think no you got to go to
a festival i'm open to it i i think before i had the very much it's too it's too sentimental and
nostalgic and lovey-dovey for you of all people not to love it if you go. I'm sure I would like it. I don't tend to like
seek it out because I was always annoyed.
But go with a lover.
Yeah. Keeks,
are you free next year?
What if I went with Keeky to
stage? Well, as I told
a friend who wasn't sure if he wanted to go
to the stagecoach, I said, and
you know, he said he was going through a dry spell
dating-wise. I said, well, at stage shows, your dick could fall out and you know he said he was going through a dry spell dating wise i said well
at stage shows your dick could fall out and you'll get laid so oh which is love is in the air love is
in the air at stagecoach people all right you know maybe i'll go find someone also it's also fun to
play the game who here would you fuck which is you just kind of look around people watch
and you need a story
do you play that game with Natalie
yeah
alright well you play it with friends
and it's more like I would fuck them
and this is why and you have to have a story
and it can be fun
it's loose it's fun
play with friends
it's great people watching.
If you two go out to a lunch.
No, we don't play it at work.
Sounds like a liability.
Yeah, in the office.
Who here would you fuck? Hey guys, I want to play a game.
There's four of us here.
Oh no.
No, it's got to be like strangers.
You know, it's like you,
it's about creating a story.
Who in our office floor would you fuck?
Because I.
No, we're not even going to do that. No, no, no. Do you have a crush on someone? No. Do you have your's about creating a story. Who on our office floor would you fuck? Because I. No,
we're not even going to do that. No,
no,
not in our.
Do you have a crush on someone?
No,
I'm just.
Do you have your eye on someone?
No,
I'm just saying of the other businesses.
Let's play for the office floor.
For the other businesses on this floor.
Yeah,
I know what you're saying.
That acupuncturist lady.
I knew you were going to say her.
Maybe.
Maybe.
You'd fuck her?
She wears a mask.
She'd be into some interesting stuff.
Yeah.
We have an acupuncturist on our floor.
And sometimes we hear some sound effects from the room that make me more intrigued as to
what the process of acupuncture really is.
What else do we got?
We got.
The people at the very end are very, very caring.
But that man, remember that man like followed us down the hall?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe him.
Would you have sex with a woman who leases this place?
She's married.
If she wasn't?
I don't think so.
What about her husband?
Maybe.
Remember the day we walked in, he was just here?
Yeah.
He was just sitting in the office.
Yeah.
It was wild.
Yeah.
Housekeeping notes.
Don't forget, we have an amazing episode, an update episode that dropped last Friday
for everyone to listen to.
It's Vile Files Classic.
Another incredible Ask Nick that dropped yesterday as well, if you haven't checked it out.
For all the people who love hearing people's relationship stories and struggles and problems
and hearing about maybe some helpful advice.
Also, it's always lovely.
Anyone who stopped and said hi at Stagecoach, at Listens to the Podcast, thank you for saying
hi.
I met a handful of people who gave me all the credit for being in the healthiest relationship of their life.
That was always nice to hear. I met some
couples that give me
some props
for their relationship. Always
nice to hear. I'm sure it wasn't just me. I'm
sure they did the work, but it was very, very
nice to hear. And we really
I appreciate them stopping and
saying hi. But yeah, I just had a really nice
experience. But the Friday night just had a really nice experience.
But Friday night was truly horrific.
And I'm glad we lived to tell the story.
Do not, if you ever go to Coachella or Stagecoach,
do not take the wrong exit out of the ground.
Don't do it.
Save your feet are the most important thing you have at a festival.
Keep those dogs from barking.
Anyway, we have a wonderful, wonderful episode.
Thursday, Going Deeper guests.
It's going to be a surprise.
Lala Kent, unfortunately, who was scheduled to be here.
I'm actually, and I'll have to ask because I'm doing her podcast this week.
But Bravo, thanks to Howie Mandel, has put the kibosh on all of the cast members doing podcasts until after the reunion.
So we'll have Lala on then.
Don't forget to check out Vile Files Plus.
We have update specials.
If you love the update from last Friday,
we have more coming to you behind Vile Files Plus.
It's free to sign up.
It's a seven-day free trial.
Check it out.
Cancel if you want.
Just go to vilefiles.com.
It's a couple clicks away.
You can listen to Vile Files Plus the same way you listen to
the Vile Files, assuming it is
not on YouTube. And we will
see you back on Thursday with a very
special, special guest. It'll be a lot of
fun. All right. It's
time for the one and only
Howie Mandel and Jacqueline
Schultz.
I went to stagecoach this weekend.
Yeah.
For the first time.
And?
Do you like country music?
I do now.
Really?
That's what I'm trying to figure out.
Who do you like?
Well, who I saw.
I went in and I didn't really know anything.
Did you see Brian Adams?
No.
I do like Brian Adams.
He was there, yeah, the old timey.
And did you see Melissa Etheridge?
I did not.
Did you see Kane?
Brown.
Did you?
Yeah.
That was really good.
Did you see?
So why are you trying to figure out?
Did you see Chris Stapleton?
I did.
Okay.
Why do I know more of what you saw?
Why is Howie running you through the roster?
You know why?
Because I do my homework.
That's the one thing people know about me there you go
i don't know why i know the stagecoach lineup if you're not into country why did how did you go
he's got a fiancee that's into it oh oh let's wait for the show yeah i do my homework always i
always know exactly what i'm talking about before you should be before i talk to
somebody i really you do your homework always very prepped always yeah very important stuff
you want to be prepped you want to know what it's all about you want to know go ahead howie
jack nick welcome thanks for having us how is your heart howie
Thanks for having us.
How is your heart, Howie?
I'm a little... Prepared?
Apparently, I'm...
I wasn't prepared.
I wasn't prepared for anything.
I wasn't prepared for the backlash.
I wasn't prepared for the info.
I wasn't prepared, which is the way I operate.
So I'm very prepared for this interview.
Do we want to start with Tom or do you want to, I don't know.
How do you want it?
Do you want to like, do you want the, it's your, it's your audience.
What did you do this weekend?
Let's start with that.
Prepared for this interview.
I, I, I did.
I honestly did.
Did you really excited?
I want to say, I just really appreciate you coming here.
I honestly did.
Did you really?
I'm very excited.
I want to say,
I just really appreciate you coming here because your team tried to get us to go to your studio.
Yeah.
I don't really travel.
I understand.
And I just want to say thank you,
but it was like a whole thing over here.
What?
But she's the one.
We were.
It's her.
Say thank her.
Well, thank you for having us come here.
I'll go anywhere that you want us to go.
But you brought me.
I did, yeah. Let's bring your dad to work. First'll go anywhere that you want us to go. But you brought me.
I did, yeah. Let's bring your dad to work today.
First, your wonderful team, they have your back.
They emailed us and they were like,
you know, Howie would love you to come to his studio.
And we have a whole setup.
But it was like a whole process.
Like when, and by process, I mean like we were like,
do we go?
We had a whole like, we had team meetings about it, Howie.
We were like, do we want, do we push back? We were like, no team meetings about it how we were like how do we
want to be pushed back we're like no like you did we did we weren't sure i was alone
where you started this show yeah i'm in your old offices right this is our new place
no i know but but you would be going back to where your old place yeah the middle ground
the middle it was the middle yeah It was the second place. The second iteration.
I should have done my homework.
It's okay.
Don't do enough research.
It's okay.
But anyways, I thank you.
Now the Nick Vile fans are going to get on me and go, before you show up, why don't you
learn something about him?
You knew a lot about Nick.
I do know a lot about Nick.
We worked in the same office in the middle ground.
Colleagues.
Anyways, I appreciate it.
We had a bunch of team meetings being like,
so we just say no?
Will he still come?
And you came.
So we thank you.
You're welcome.
This side of my Holland, I'll put that out.
Okay.
I was at Stagecoach all weekend.
I had a great time.
And I just thought about our potential conversation
and the whole time, so I was really excited
to talk with you about all things, whatever.
You're listening to country music,
thinking about our conversation?
I was, I'm in my head constantly, Howie,
and I'm always working, and I'm always thinking
about upcoming stuff.
I have a hard time getting it out of my head.
It's a struggle sometimes.
Do you like country music?
Certain.
Not all of it.
But not all music.
But I like to get out of my head.
How do you do that?
I roll up in a fetal position in a dark room and pray.
Okay.
I'm a mess.
No, what do I do?
How do I get out of my head?
You stay busy.
I stay really busy.
He stays busy.
Like being here now gets me out of my head.
So that's why.
And I deal with my, and I have wonderful-
He deals with his daughter.
With my children.
I feel you guys really must enjoy working together.
This is the highlight of my week
is when I can spend an hour with her.
How long is this?
Like an hour and a half.
Well, if I spend an hour with her, it's the highlight.
The last half
hour we'll try to get we'll try to get we'll try to get through it look up uh do you have access
to the internet here yeah we do we have researchers look up uh what happened at disney hall this
weekend disney hall this weekend at the concert woman has quote loud and full body orgasm and
quote during la philharmonic concert did you have that
at a country show i did not have a full orgasm i did cry did you yeah is that a positive it was a
good it was a happy cry uh we saw this artist named john party yeah i don't know if i would
i'd be comfortable if i was at a concert and the guy next to me just started it's okay i wasn't
worried about it would you rather someone next to you cry or have an orgasm i didn't sob
i just had like a tear run down my face you're right you're right you brought up a good point
what did she say i will take i would take tears over jizz there you go yeah yeah there you go
no he was uh he was given an award at the end of the concert and he's turned you could tell
he was very emotional here's this like big country music singer and it wasn't even the song it was
just the award at the end he got an award and and you could tell he was this like i was looking at
a guy i saw like 15 year old him who like he hadn't made it like it was a real special moment for him he got all emotional and
you could tell like it was like a huge like he really made it moment and i get it i'm like that
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You've been around for a long time.
You've done so many amazing things.
There must have been a time in your career
when you were just like, holy shit,
I actually did this.
Oh yeah, when Tom Sandoval came to my studio.
That was your big highlight?
You don't know what it's like.
I had no idea that he would,
he didn't talk to anybody, and he chose me.
I was, listen, I also, I was very,
when I found out, I was very,
first of all, bravo, you got the interview.
And we like to think of ourselves as a destination
for reality TV people who have a story to tell.
Right.
And you got the interview.
Got it.
Props to you.
And honestly, I don't think people gave you enough credit.
Thank you.
I sincerely mean that.
I don't think I deserve any credit.
But I don't think I deserve any negativity either.
It's not easy to get people who have a reason to be cagey
and reluctant to share their story no i made it easy
you made it easy for him and he gave it was entertaining and and you made a a an uncomfortable
environment for tom to share whatever he wanted to share that was the point ultimately that's
what people wanted to hear apparently not they wanted They wanted to hear me cross-examine.
No, they wanted to hear me grill him.
Grill him.
You know, the problem between me and my daughter here is my daughter is a huge Evander Pump rule fan who watches and knows everything.
So the tough thing was, and I said to her, and we had this discussion, I go, you can't, you can't.
If you hear something that you don't agree with,
you can't challenge.
There are no challenges on this particular moment.
We're not challenging.
That's not what this is about.
Did you promise Tom that?
Yeah, I promised.
I didn't talk to tom directly but you know as
people found out the uh one of the people that works for me is married to his uh the road manager
and drummer and drummer yeah road manager and drummer so that was part of the of the he's one
of the tom sandoval and the most extras one of the extras yeah I guess that's what it is I've
never seen the band I've never seen the show okay so he is part of the arrangement to come on there
was no second guessing any Tom's answer I'm not gonna put him in an uncomfortable position I said
I will you promise come on you want to speak you want want to talk. Come on and talk.
And and my point is and the reason I wanted to is because and still don't understand, which is kind of a misinterpretation by the Bravo fans for me.
What is it? What are they saying that I that I condone this kind of behavior?
Yeah, that you were almost that when you said that you didn't think it was a big deal, they thought you meant that it wasn't a big deal that he cheated rather than he doesn't think it's a big.
He doesn't understand the hoopla around it. Why it's even getting to him who doesn't watch the show.
And when I watch CNN or I watch the, you know, anything, why is this cheating scandal making and breaking outside of...
It's literally being brought up at the White House Correspondents Dinner.
Okay, and don't say that because the Bravo fans will get mad at you.
You must be, then you don't think it's big enough to do that.
We have all kinds of fans mad at us, Howie. It's fine.
But I don't understand them being mad at me now.
And I don't understand why it is as big as it is.
Not because I can don't.
As a guy who's been married to her mother for 43 years, and I swear to you, I've never cheated, nor would I even consider it, nor do I think it's right.
And again, to answer some of the negativity negativity do i think it's right of anybody
who's in a committed relationship you don't have to be have a license and you don't have to be
married i think that you need to respect humanity and you need to respect anybody and if you are not
happy in your relationship then you need to uh be real clear with that message and then do whatever you need to do.
But that wasn't what that interview was about.
This is getting his story.
Now that Tom's gone and we no longer, what, Jacqueline or Holly,
how would you have challenged Tom given some of his answers that he gave in the interview?
Was there anything he said to either of you that you would have maybe asked a follow-up question
if that was something that was on the table?
I'll start and then she can answer.
Can I start?
Go for it.
I wouldn't do anything differently.
And the thing about it was he came and told me,
this is what he told me, having not seen the show,
that he has been really clear with her that he wanted to get out of the relationship, that he is suffering personal demons with his mental health, and that he has really tried. And in a moment of weakness, which is not an excuse, he slipped.
And he says that that's not going on anymore.
But when he says he slipped, he's implying that it was like a one-time thing.
No, he didn't imply that.
That's how it began.
He slipped.
He said, I'm telling you what he told me.
Gotcha.
He said, and then I said, is this still going on?
And he said, no.
And that's what he told me.
And I didn't question it.
What is happening now in the comments is that people are saying, no, it is still going on.
No, he wasn't clear.
That's what commenters are saying.
And she would know better.
You know, he said that she asked to freeze her eggs and he was going to fertilize them.
He said, his answer to me,
I mean, his story to me was,
are you crazy?
We're broken up.
People who watch the show
and know more than me
are saying that that, right,
is not how it's playing out.
Well, I mean, listen,
I listen, like, again,
very entertained by the interview,
but when listening to it,
that part in particular,
I think people had an issue with.
And I was a bit bothered by Tom's answer in the sense of like, I've been cheated on and
heartbroken before.
And then those moments of realizing a long-term relationship is coming to an end, or when
you find out that your partner betrayed you regardless of things were
rocky for a period of time or you know you guys weren't connecting or living different lives as
tom said in that moment for tom to point out uh ariana's as tom said crazy reactions i mean
when you find out shit like that you tend to say out of pocket things
you know you you might feel like you're losing your mind you might say things like i'm not gonna
let you break up with me i mean you're kind of your world's coming down ahead of you and do you
think i should be judging that he's saying that i didn't judge her either ariana i didn't judge
those his his descriptions of her reactions i mean no i didn't feel her either. Ariana, I didn't judge those, his descriptions of her reactions.
I mean, no, I didn't feel like you were judging or not judging her.
I mean, I think a follow-up question would have been fair for clarity with Tom.
What would it be?
Are you suggesting, like I would have just said in that moment, like, do you empathize with how, why Ariana might have said those things?
Didn't he say, I love Ariana and I feel bad?
He didn't say that?
What I got from that that I wanted to say was in previous seasons, he had been saying
that he wanted to consider kids.
And she was the one that was saying, no, I don't want to have kids.
And so finally, after therapy and working together, in my mind, he said that she was working on it, that she was a whole different Ariana.
And she was finally saying that she wanted to freeze eggs and have kids.
To me, that shows someone who's really fighting for the relationship, not someone who is crazy.
You know, he took her to therapy.
And in her mind, I'm sure when you go to couples therapy, it's to mend a relationship.
Well, yeah, he kind of used couples therapy as a way to like trick her into breaking up but i didn't get that
he said that she was crazy did he yeah yeah i think he was put that's the problem maybe you
interpreted what he was saying differently but i think he was putting a lot of the blame on
her see i thought he and this is just my interpretation so get mad at me if i
i thought he was putting blame on what he said that he he i thought he said that he cheated on
her that he was with raquel rachel what's her name it's both depends on who you ask i think
it's legal legally rachel but she goes by raquel for. I don't understand that, but okay.
We could call you like Howay.
See, I'm not even understanding the names.
What?
We could call you like Howay or something.
Okay, do that.
Howay.
Howay.
It's Howard.
Your legal name is Howard, but people call you Howie.
Her legal name is Rachel, but people call her Raquel.
Or like Lala, her legal name is Lauren, but she goes by Lala on the show.
Do whatever you want.
Raquel. legal name is lauren but she goes by lala on the show do whatever you want rachael rachael um listen as her best friend probably has some answering to do but but the the truth
he i didn't i feel like he was just telling me how she was reacting to his depression and the fact that he's lost and he
wants to move on and he's not happy in this relationship that's how i took it that may not
be right yeah but does that make sense to for me as somebody who doesn't know the show and doesn't
even know anybody's name yes no and my whole question and the reason for having him on,
I knew it was big news.
And as a podcaster, you want to have,
that's why you have me on today.
Yes.
You know, because you wanted,
and my question was,
I don't understand why this is big news.
Having done a little bit,
everybody's talking about homework,
you know, Lala, who I'm now a new fan of,
who's going to come into my studio and relight it because my lighting sucks.
Anyway, and I find her funny and interesting.
When I looked up to find out who she was and I didn't even know her name is Lauren.
But from what I understand is she got pregnant and had a baby and the father of that baby cheated while she was pregnant how come
that's not on cnn versus these two people who don't have children big no deal no i'm telling
you as somebody on the outside it doesn't compare no i never heard of lala till now but i heard of
skandival till now i'm telling you as an old guy who who is not up on whatever is happening in the reality TV world, you know, and that was what was amazing to me.
My daughter knows about it.
And I said she was excited, nervous and wanted to grill him when he came on.
I had two pages of I stayed up.
It was a last minute interview.
We were already going to have an interview coming out that week.
Nick Cannon.
And last minute they
said do you want sandoval and i was like yeah that'd be great he hasn't done anything i'm sure
everyone wants him i've seen everyone else on that would be amazing i stayed up all night break it
and wrote pages of questions and i made her take her hoodie off before the show
what hoodie were you wearing send it to daryl yeah send to daryl never in my life have i received
a personal email with legal documents i think it's a big deal just because you know infidelity
strikes such a nerve with people and i think yeah but it's so prevalent. I'm not condoning it, and I'm not saying it's not a bad thing.
Why did this infidelity, this one in particular, break the news cycle?
And like you just said, even at the White House Correspondents Dinner, why this one when there are so many?
But I think it's because they're both on the show.
Like with Lala and Randall randall wasn't a
main cast member it was like her plus one basically i think because to answer your question and this
is just a guess i just think it resonates with people you have two known quantities on this show
and i think for the people who watching primarily women watching this show i think tom sandoval kind of represents or reminds them of this kind of
typical middle-aged fuck boy who the way tom answers questions it's yeah it's like the whole
you're talking about tom or me tom sandoval oh okay yeah you're not a middle-aged fuck yeah
that's why i just wanted to make clear can we make that the title of the episode
howie mendel the middle-aged maybe we. Maybe you were at one point, you know,
but you never gave me that energy.
Been married for 45 years, right?
I know, but just to be referred to
as a middle-aged fuckboy.
Kind of fun.
Just kind of fun.
Kind of a thank you.
I mean, with this outfit, you could definitely...
What's wrong with my outfit?
This is a fuckboy outfit?
A fuckboy might wear that, yeah.
Look at you, dad.
Yeah.
I didn't really.
It looks good.
Now I wanna go home and burn it.
I mean, I was meant to be a compliment.
Oh, thank you.
No, we thank you.
No, I took it as a compliment.
Fuck boys are stylish, you know?
I think people also relate to maybe having
a best friend or a girlfriend that backstabbed you.
There's so many components in like the story.
Yeah, there's just all these little wrinkles the story. And something else I learned after,
that makes it less of a big deal in my book.
Now I'm going to get killed on this for it.
Dad, you got to stop.
But I'm just going to say,
didn't they both get together from cheating?
They did.
Listen, it's a mess of group.
Does that not make it less of an outrage for the world?
Because these two cheaters got together and now there's cheating.
Why is this big international news?
You're not wrong.
In the grand scheme of things, you're absolutely right.
That's my question.
I'm not going to get killed.
Bravo hates me.
You have perspective.
And for the people listening to your show.
I'm a jackhole on Watch watch what happens with andy cohen
said i'm a jackhole in that in that world that's positive they care so much about this stuff i just
like to have a night a title jackhole like rachel i should be jacole jacole i'm jacole
the middle-aged jackhole fuck boy yeah but on a serious note, how bothered were you by the reaction on a personal level?
Did it annoy you?
Did it bother you?
It doesn't annoy me.
It doesn't bother me.
I'm confused and incredibly confused
and amazed by this.
I was confused and amazed by the whole Scandival thing.
I didn't realize that I was going to,
I thought I was going to learn something.
I didn't want to do homework.
My homework was talking to him and letting him,
I want to hear this story.
I want to hear why it's so big.
If you didn't multiple times during the interview say how much you didn't know, no one would big if you if you didn't ever you if you didn't multiple times
during the interview say how much you didn't know no one would have known how much you didn't know
but i want them to know that i don't know so that if i'm asking a stupid question
or if i'm not responding to something it's because i don't know i was bothered as a bravo she was kicking me no i was bothered by the negative backlash as like a bravo
fanatic because i think people looked to me by saying i was the one who said that i knew i watched
every single how i kept calling you the expert right and so they're like come on be our voice
say something that i'm her father and she listens to her father. And so people were mad
at me. I mean, I have DMs saying I'm trash.
I shouldn't. I'm
a horrible person.
I don't stand up for women.
And I'm learning things
just from my own comments. From my
comments. He just said he kissed
her. That's the day her
dog died. I didn't even
know that. I didn't know she had a dog.
Is that bad that I don't know she has
a dog? Now, Pete is going to hate me.
Pete is going to hate me. How do you
not know that she had a sick
dog? Fan is short for
a fanatic, Howie.
Fan is short for a fanatic. No, I know.
Thank you.
But I mean, it's just how fans react. I don't
know. But so much of your
interview or your reaction to the interview is this kind of i don't understand why people are
reacting this way but they're just the thing that bothered me is not about any of that the thing
that bothered me is that they took away whether they think i'm an idiot i don't care
whether they think that i don't know anything about the show i don't care what bothered me
is that this narrative that i condone cheating and that's i never said i condone cheating i'm
with you unfortunately will you tell your mother that.
Did you have to go home and say, just so you know, there's a lot of people that were asking, what would you say if it were your daughter in that situation?
Well, if in that if you were talking to, let's say, my husband who had done the same thing, would you have said the same things to him?
Oh, I would have hit him. If I'm understanding Howie point of view now, he would say I would hit him and I'd be mad.
But if it reached CNN, he would be just as confused.
My question was not about the merits of their relationship.
My question was not about the reasons for cheating.
He admits and we knew he cheated and we knew that's why he was on the show and we knew that he cheated with her best friend i know all that going in why
is this huge i still don't understand why it's huge i still don't understand why so many people
who want to i still don't even understand let's see if they and who's calling me
it's my son okay let's see if he understands um alex i'm on the nick vile uh podcast right now
and they can with jackie and he's the producer of my podcast amazing he is yeah so i'm trying
to explain to these people that i didn't my whole
point of view do you know what my point of view is yes what is it you mean the way you went about
that podcast was that you specifically didn't want to look into it so that you can see it from
just an outside perspective regardless because i didn't understand why it was.
Go ahead.
Why it was on CNN and all these mainstream media things. It didn't seem like something that would be hitting mainstream if it's a cheating scandal from a reality show.
Hello.
Thank you.
And I and thank you.
And the underpants arrived. I know that's why you were calling. Thanks. and I, uh, and, and thank you. And, um,
the,
the underpants arrived.
I know that's why you were calling.
Thanks.
Yeah.
I just wanted to let you know.
Thank you.
Bye.
I haven't ordered my underpants from Amazon.
There you go.
I think it, I think it's such a big deal because so many,
to your point,
Howie,
so many people do cheat.
And I think so many people who have been cheated on feel like the people who
cheated on them are not held accountable and this is and so many of those people watch these shows
and it's they're projecting and it's their way of trying to hold someone accountable for doing
this type of behavior and they feel like the way Tom talked about ariana is the same way the people who cheat
on them talked about them where they say things like you know i'm sorry i fucked up but that's
why they watch the show there's always a but like well we were disconnected and they have this way
of kind of indirectly blaming the person who's been victimized by their behavior and they act
like it's they're wrong,
but it's not that big of a deal.
Like Tom, the way he talked about the whole interview was like, hey man, like I fucked up, man.
Like, what are you gonna do, man?
But I also understand there is nobody,
there is nobody, I bet you in this room,
I'm probably believe in the sanctity
of a respectful relationship
more than anybody in this room.
And maybe in this moment, you think you do. No, no, no do but you've been married for 40 years that's what i'm saying i've i've proven it
and i'm proving it every day and uh you know relationships go through highs and lows so i am
probably the most respectful person of a relationship in this room at this point.
That being said,
I'm also the most curious person as to why,
like,
and,
and I understand that's why,
listen,
because something so outrageous is done is why the ratings went up.
This is the kind of conflict that people watch these shows for as much as they're angry at it.
They love being angry angry it's like the
train wreck well that's what i'm saying like i i that's why you're not getting enough of credit
for the interview that you conducted because regardless of whether they're angry or not
at you and i'm so and honestly sincerely sorry that you're dealing with those nasty messages
i always find it crazy that these people who are probably like worried about ariana's
mental health are the same people telling you you should die in the dms and things like that it's
you know the internet bullying is wild but but yeah like people often don't realize what they
want as an entertainer like you entertain people that was one of the most interesting podcasts i'd
listened to in a long time yeah it's probably one of the it's out of all my podcasts it's probably the most
viewed podcast on youtube i've ever had oh without question without question and and more than double
anybody else so but it's also the most uh crazy hatred that has been uh targeted toward my daughter
and where i just said hey you did something silly. They're saying come and explain yourself and tell me why this why you think this is
such big news.
I don't think he answered that question.
And he took the time to make his case, whether you think his case surprise.
That is actually what shocked me.
I had like two pages of questions because I assumed after being in the media for so long that he would come on and it would be an apology or very short answers to questions like I.
And then within maybe 10 minutes of bantering back and forth, he was off.
He was talking.
Oh, he wanted to.
Yeah, he wanted to talk and tell his side of the story. So we didn't even need to say anything because he and I think that the public then if he just talks, they'll either decide whether he's digging himself into a hole or he's redeeming himself.
And to be honest with you, without knowing the other side or having any input, he came off like a guy who is really troubled and having a real hard time. And I condoned him for being open about even just his mental health issues.
I'm not one who condones sharing somebody else's mental health issues because that's for them to to be open about.
But he said he's suffering with depression.
He said he didn't know, uh, you know, what he was going to do with his life at this point,
this middle-aged point that he's at, you know, and I said, you know, it is to be, to seem that,
uh, frail publicly is kind of brave. So I can, you know, and then i also said at the end of it if there's anything
that you think you said that you uh want to uh have edited out i'll do that sure so what you saw
was what he was happy with saying and what he presented and i kind of respected that. Whether you know something else because you have a different, from my perspective, I respected
what he said.
I didn't know anything that any Bravo viewer or my daughter knows to challenge him on what
could possibly be a lie.
I think he told his truth for sure you know you think he believed what
he was saying oh yeah i the only question i wish one of you would have asked was why does he think
he cheated he told you he that whole interview was justifying why but i want to know why, no, no, I want to know why Tom Sandoval in that moment of weakness,
you know, chose to do what he did rather than go to Ariana and not cheat, you know, like.
Because he was saying, I'll answer that from what he said, because I think he did answer
that question.
You're saying we should have asked that.
No, but that's not why he cheated.
That's the cheating is the.
He said that he was not, no, he said that he is, this is why he cheated. That's the cheating is the. He said that he was not.
No, he said that he is.
This is what he said.
Sure.
And whether it's true or not, I don't know.
And I don't I haven't watched the show, so I don't know.
He said that he's turning 40 years old.
He's incredibly depressed.
He has been trying to get out of this relationship from which she wouldn't release him that's well
that's not true well that's but i'm telling you what i heard you know that's not true because of
what you know well i'm not saying it's not true because short of him accusing ariana of like
entrapping him and imprisoning him like she can't stop him from breaking up well they're not i'm telling you from somebody who has not watched the
show what i heard and you can tell me if what i heard isn't true he said he's 40 years old his
life is in a little bit of disarray he's going through an incredible depression he doesn't feel
that he is appreciated in his um relationship or even as a as a man he said that he
wasn't getting any sex and she was making it really hard for him that's what he said yeah he
said that um no matter how hard he has tried to get out and end the relationship she is not letting
him out in fact he told me whether this is true or. He told me that she even after he said it's not working and I want out.
She said, let's freeze our eggs.
And he said on my podcast, are you crazy?
We've been trying to break up.
Why are you even asking me this?
Because which now we know.
No, no, no.
But I'm not questioning whether it's true
or not this is what i'm hearing for the first time so when i'm hearing this without any point
of reference why would i why would i question that because well what how would i would respond is
there are a lot of 40 year old sad people who might be suffering from depression who might
feel disconnected from their partner who don't cheat that's not a that's not a reason so wait wait wait and then he said it was wrong and then
he said he was seeking help the where he was seeking help and who was open to giving him help
was ricky l ricky and uh ricky rike rike rike rike rike rike and and she he he opened up to her Rikia? Rikale? Rikale.
And he opened up to her
and in a moment,
in a moment of weakness,
this magnetic pull pushed
their faces together and he wished
he hadn't done that, but it just
happened and he's not
seeing her now.
They hooked up for months. Yeah, for seven months now. That's what he told me. That is not, no.
They hooked up for months.
Yeah, for seven months.
That's not what he told me.
That is.
You didn't understand what he was saying.
I didn't understand.
You got.
So I'm telling you what I heard and why I reacted to what I heard.
And then I kept hearing him say that it was never a good moment to break up.
But then he tried on Valentine's Day.
And the day that he hooked up with her best friend was.
I went on Valentine's Day and the day that he hooked up with her best friend was Valentine's Day.
And then he used a therapist for couples therapy and to and Ariana thinks they're working on the
relationship. Meanwhile, this is part of his breakup plan. You guys are coming at it from
a totally different view. And when he said he did end up the first time he hooked up with Raquel
was when she came home because her dog had just passed away.
I eat it.
Did he mention the dog?
No, but he was saying that he can never find a good time.
But it seems like every time was the worst possible.
And you are saying as viewers of the show and as people who have more information than me, you are saying.
You are saying, and let me just get this straight, that if it doesn't work out, if you can't break up or cheat on the day your girlfriend's dog dies, and then you try, you give it a second shot on Valentine's Day, you are saying there are better ways to do it?
Than what he did?
Yeah.
I don't, I think, again, Tom's really good at giving remarks. Yeah, people are not going to know
that you're sarcastic.
They're not?
No.
He's being sarcastic.
He's being sarcastic.
Well,
not everyone.
Yeah,
I'm with you,
Howie.
I think also,
from what I understand,
Rushule has something
to say about this,
right?
Yeah,
we've been trying
to get her on.
Have you?
She won't do it?
I haven't heard from her.
Somebody told me she was punched.
Oh, Sheena?
Oh, no.
That's also a lie.
That's also a lie.
I don't know that.
You want to have Sheena on?
You know who Sheena is now.
Now, yeah.
You know it's funny.
Saw Sheena at Stagecoach.
What?
She was at Stagecoach.
Yeah, no, she said that she would never be on my podcast.
Why?
I saw that.
She didn't say that.
Didn't she? No, she just said that she didn never be on my podcast. Why? I saw that. She didn't say that. Didn't she?
No, she just said that she didn't watch the podcast.
She wouldn't watch one second of our podcast.
Because you didn't even know who she was.
That's what she said.
She was offended.
Unwatch what happens live.
Wouldn't you have to watch my podcast to know that I didn't know?
I think when he said the word Sheena, I said.
Because people told her that you said that.
She didn't watch it. I don't know who she is can you say that people can you say that louder into the mic i don't know who sheena
is i don't know i only now i know la la i know la la and uh and i and i know rahel. Rahel. I know who Rahel is.
You know Tom.
And Tom's sad.
He's sad.
Sad of all.
But Tom's sad for himself and no one else.
And I think that's where people are frustrated.
No, he said on my show.
No.
Yes.
No, I know he said he's sad for Ariana, but no one but you believes that.
I love her. I still love her and I feel bad about her. No one believes that. Well, that know he said he said for Ariana, but no one but you believes that. I love her.
I still love her and I feel bad about it.
No one believes that.
Well, that's not for me to judge.
How can you think of Howie Mandel as a judge?
Why should I judge?
There is no reason in this universe that I should be judging anything.
I am not a judge.
Don't you judge on America's Got Talent?
Oh.
Take that back. That was also satire. I know. I am not a judge. Don't you judge on America's Got Talent? Oh. Take that back.
That was also satire.
I know.
I'm just, I have to make it clear now to people.
I'm having a really good time with you, Howie,
and I really appreciate you're here.
Thank you.
They're going to hate you for having me
and saying that you appreciate me.
It's okay.
Bravo is, those fans are.
They're fans.
They're really intense.
I never understood why Lisa Rinna wore adult diapers.
Remember when she was the spokesperson for adult diapers?
No.
Who?
Lisa Rinna.
Oh, yeah.
Do you know that?
Yeah.
And I didn't understand why.
Now you know.
And then you meet the Bravo fans and you know why.
I came this close to shitting
myself at least it could have helped you out did it did it affect you i mean serious question uh
you're a big advocate for mental health uh did it affect uh your mental health well i am i'm i see
people and i'm very medicated and i do suffer from anxiety and depression and for um people should understand i was i'm i'm okay i'm actually okay and it didn't
it didn't get me down but it could sure it could i didn't know who they were and i didn't know what
the show is i do think that's important to hear because i think for the bravo fans out there
you know they're up they're very quick to defend the people they love.
Right now, they love Ariana.
And they hate Rahul.
They're very protective over Ariana's mental health.
They hate Rahul, right?
They do.
They hate Rahul.
They hate Rahul.
But just because they don't like what you had to say or how they conducted the interview,
I do not understand why these people feel they're justified to react the way that they're
reacting
and say some of the things they say to you.
And just because I don't know who Sheila is.
Sheena.
Oh, Sheena and La La.
I always get those two. I put them together.
I shouldn't have.
How do you, Howie, protect your mental health?
You've been a party to some of it.
I try not to leave my little hovel.
Okay.
Right?
Because we wanted you to.
Sorry about that.
The fact that I came here.
But if I come here, I travel with loved ones.
Yes.
I'm always surrounded by loved ones and good mental health advocates and medication and family.
Therapy. Therapy. Lots. Lots. Yeah. health advocates and medication and uh family and just i really a therapy a lot lots yeah so lots of therapy i'm i'm never really alone and uh i try not to read comments but when you usually get
like 30 comments a day and then one day you get 300 000 comments you have a tendency to peak. Yeah. You went and filmed AGT that night, right?
That it aired and people were yelling to the audience.
Team Ariana!
What?
Team Ariana!
At AGT, they were yelling.
Heidi's like, what's going on?
Yeah, Terry.
I said, I don't know.
I did some, I must have not asked the right question.
I didn't do my, do you know that I don't have a GED?
I didn't finish high school.
And to, to have this, uh, recalled like 60 years later, you didn't do your homework still
is a problem.
Triggered you.
Yeah.
Well, I didn't, I never did homework and I'm not doing homework though.
I did.
I felt bad.
This is the first time you got a scoop.
I don't know if this is a scoop,
but I haven't done any other podcasts,
so I'm talking to you about it,
and I did some homework.
I knew that you were a stage coach.
I thought you were on The Bachelor three times,
but apparently it's four.
That's pretty good.
Things going good?
Are you getting married?
I'm engaged.
I didn't ask that. I am getting married. married right look at me with follow-up questions yeah there you go you're
challenging me i didn't make any promises here like i did on mine uh we haven't is there a date
we haven't set a date let's set it right now we're ballparking about 12 or 13 months from now
ballparking 12 or 13 months.
Either a year or a year and a month.
I don't know, but yeah, it's somewhere around this time.
We're going to do summer?
That's what we're aiming?
Springish summer, I guess.
I thought we were doing fall.
What is the commitment issue you're having?
You're having one.
See, this I can question.
No, we have to find a venue and it's not a venue i
could find you a venue tomorrow i have 30 000 square feet in van nuys come on over and get
my fiance has a more particular taste um i know she's got her thumb on it all yeah
yeah about a year from now we haven't set a hard date yet though
give or take we're working on it we're narrowing down the date i thought we were
you don't believe in i know your question i was the father of the bride it was a year before we
got married well you go you were it was hard to get the engagement no it wasn't that hard
well you were waiting and waiting and waiting and when it came you didn't believe it right right how long did you date your wife before you proposed six years
okay it only took me two and a half i'm just saying well you're better than i am commitment
guy commitment guy didn't you have other ones that didn't work out yeah they broke up with me
all of them no so you're a me. All of them? No.
So you're a liar.
Well, some of them.
You're questioning him more than you question Sandoval.
I've learned my lesson.
We're practicing.
This is how we challenge our guests.
Those who live in glass houses
shouldn't throw stones.
And then I'm sorry,
I want to apologize to you in advance
because now,
because of what I did,
apparently with Tom,
no Bravo person is supposed
to do any podcast until after may 27th yeah which i'm gonna bring i want lala to come in and relight
yeah lala well just for so for everyone know for the people expecting lala on going deeper
she because of howie oh get them pissed off a little bit more. You could have been hearing Lala, but you got Juju.
No, Lala talked about it on her podcast.
They've been asked to not do it anymore.
She's really funny.
She's smart.
A firecracker.
Very smart.
She's like a star.
Full of hotcakes.
She needs her own show.
There needs to be a Lala show.
Give them Lala.
Is that a show?
A TV show?
It's her brand.
No, I know it's her brand, but it's not a show.
Do it.
Make her a show.
I would love to produce a show.
I like Lala.
I don't know anybody else.
Does Bravo own their talent?
Like, is she allowed to branch out to other?
Let's call her.
I have no idea.
Do you have her phone number?
I don't.
No.
Do you?
No, but let's see.
She answers.
When I slip into DMs.
Slid into DMs.
She answers.
Slipped.
I didn't slip.
I'm old.
You tripped and fall.
He slips into DMs.
No.
She responds to me every once in a while.
So let's see if she...
Do you know how to do DMs?
All right.
While Howie's looking for...
While he slips into Lala's DMs, let's bring on...
Slides.
Let's bring in our caller.
While he slithers.
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fastgrowingtrees.com slash V-I-A-L-L. How's it going? Hi, I'm Jess. I'm 29 and I'm going back
to a town for a wedding and I'm just not sure if I should shoot my shot with this guy that I've got
a crush on. All right. What's stopping you from shooting the shot first of all i am really like i don't
want to use like awkward but i don't really have games so i just didn't really know how to like
go about this in a way that where it wouldn't be like weird or awkward to do so so have you been
on any dates with them so you want this to potentially be a first date it could be first
date could be hookup like it could just be like anything honestly i
just i'm just like i find the guy super attractive uh i think there's a mutual interest there like
from the vibes that i've been getting and i just don't know how to really like put myself out there
and like when's the wedding uh saturday oh it's coming up oh this weekend yeah that's why i'm like
a little i don't know i mean it's coming up so in a weird way That's why I'm like a little, I don't know. I mean, it's coming up.
So in a weird way, that's almost good because the thing about inviting someone to a wedding
for a first date, they might feel overwhelmed by that. I don't think she's asking to bring
them to the wedding. Are you asking to bring them to the wedding? No, after the wedding.
After the wedding. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Isvp'd no plus one and then this kind of all
came about and i'm like okay well i can't like just bring someone to a wedding so
if like are you a bridesmaid no so then you'll have a nice dress you'll have a nice dress
you don't want to show up in a yellow bridesmaid yeah it's like a yellow thing yeah all right so i'm confused so you're not
bringing him to the wedding what's going on after the wedding that makes you compelled to want to
even want a date as opposed to just kind of going solo and seeing if maybe you might meet someone
there well that's plan b like if i were to meet somebody there but i don't know i've just kind of
i've had like this crush on this guy he's a friend of my sister's boyfriend so there's like a little bit of rapport there so and I and they're
in like the wedding is taking place like in the town like where they currently live and are so I
was just thinking I'm like I'm gonna be there I have this wedding there's like after wedding
whatever like things like at the local like bars and stuff I'm like do i shoot my shot to like have him come out and
like meet me um i am like obviously like no upfront expectations or anything but i am staying the night
and i have like my own hotel room so like i was just like there's some things that could line up
here for like a potential what would we're what would rahula do rahul wait are you looking for
a casual hookup or for a relationship potentially after this
sounds like you're just kind of down to get laid this weekend yes that's yes i'm looking for a
hookup if it turns into something more so why are you thinking about it just go invite him to the
bar afterwards and you'll make a decision in the in the moment whether you go back to your hotel
room his place or your separate ways.
I'm kind of with Holly on this.
Here's what I'd do.
I would hit him up, like now or whenever.
You can DM message and just say, hey, I'm going to be home this weekend.
I'd love to see you.
Just keep it real brief.
If I'm going to be totally honest with you, I think your duvet cover needs a pattern.
I actually swear to God I have one on the floor next to it that i
just bought that has a pattern so i just have not you and i are really connected thank you you're
welcome but you know it won't be she's not bringing them there she's going no no that wasn't to get
laid i was just talking about just in general the aesthetics yeah that was just home decor analysis
yeah i would uh yeah just say you look you want to you're going to be in town
you want to see him this weekend and if i were you i like you don't need to plan the whole week
in your head with this guy you know i yeah with howie i would keep it super casual just let him
know you want to see him see if he's if your replies back yes or i'm busy or maybe he could
be out of town this weekend he could have other plans you don't know so before you get yourself all worked up just let him know you're gonna be there and it
would be nice to see them and he's either gonna respond something like oh sorry i can't or you
know oh that would be cool like yeah i'll be around if he gives you the i'll be around that's
not very excited if he's like oh what do you have planned if he asks some specific questions he'd, oh, I have this wedding I have to go to. But afterwards, people are going to be
going out and hanging out. There's some cool events. Are you down to meet up with me afterwards?
Could be fun. Yeah, I know. I just was a little nervous because I haven't really spoken directly
to him too much. It's mostly been like in a group setting like just a
couple of times so like the only like gauge that i really have like that he could potentially even
be interested is that like i followed him on instagram he followed me back he likes my shit
i like his stuff like you know like there hasn't really been like a hey like i'm i'm interested and
i just don't really know like how to go about like saying that or like doing that without.
I don't think you say that.
And I don't think you do that.
I think you just invite him to the bar that you're at afterwards.
If he shows up and you hit it off, then something happens.
If he doesn't, the problem with people today, I'm an old guy.
So maybe I don't know what I'm talking about.
It's too much thinking.
There's too much thinking.
You know what I always say? Don't do your homework. Just don't know what I'm talking about. It's too much thinking. There's too much thinking. You know what I always say?
Don't do your homework.
Just don't prepare.
Just don't do your homework and just react in the moment.
I get it.
He's not wrong.
I have anxiety.
I'm assuming I'm really bad at that.
Yeah.
So like as soon as I send a text message or message, I'm immediately thinking about what
the other person is thinking
of me or that message. And I get complete anxiety. So it sounds very similar to the way I would be,
but there's really no downfall in just shooting your shot and seeing if he wants to meet up.
I was going to say like, he's not the president or, you know, or a major celebrity like Howie,
you know, you don't. I'm a major celebrity.
If you're dealing with me.
He's a fuck boy.
Yeah, I'm a former fuck boy.
Middle-aged.
Middle-aged fuck boy. I'm a middle-aged fuck boy, but I'm married.
Can't have me.
He's just, yeah, the guy you have a crush on,
I know you have a crush on, you put him on a pedestal,
but he's just some guy.
And you're saying, well, how could I tell him or ask him?
He doesn't know.
I've never talked to him.
I'm like, what is the big deal by texting a guy and saying, well, how could I tell him or ask him? He doesn't know. I've never talked to him. I'm like, what is the big deal by texting a guy and saying, hey, I'm going to be in
town this weekend.
I'd love to see you.
He's going to know that you have some interest.
You want him to know you have interest.
It's a bit vulnerable because you don't know what he's going to say.
I get that.
He might be interested.
He might not be interested.
I don't know.
But either way.
The difference between what you're saying and what I'm saying is i wouldn't do anything ahead of time i would do it
last minute i would go to the wedding and then say hey i just realized i'm in what you don't you
don't agree with me well if he has interest if he has interest she could end up seeing somebody at
the wedding that she likes and and then and then she could fuck that up by having this pre-plan with this guy that she doesn't even know and she could be sitting with
somebody the whole night at the wedding and that could work out but that's what i'm saying but when
you're at the wedding and you're there for two hours or an hour into the wedding you go you know
what you you then you text them i know but you you guys don't know i think you plant the seed
i don't know i was mostly like, how do I plant?
That was kind of what I was going back and forth with
and why I emailed it.
I'm like, do I plant the seed?
Do I try to set something up or do I go?
I think you just text them and say,
hey, do you want to plant the seed?
Yeah.
In me.
No, yeah.
I just, yeah.
I don't think you need a whole plan.
You know what I'm saying?
You don't need to whole plan you know what i'm saying you don't
need to like plan dinner or something you know something specific you just literally say hey
what's up like i'm gonna be in your neighborhood i'd love to see you that's it yeah but then that
forces her to make a bigger plan what if he goes okay that's great because he that she's obligated
to set a time to set a place before she even knows what she's doing or Because she's obligated to set a time, to set a place,
before she even knows what she's doing or who she's going to meet.
Well, she knows she's interested in it.
If this guy is down to hang out with her, she's going to be at a wedding.
Yeah, but what she really wants is some sex.
You can get that at a wedding.
But she's going to get that with him.
That's why I'm saying you need the pattern duvet.
Okay.
I'll make sure I put that on there as soon as possible. Oh, just for stains.
I think you plant the seed.
Jacqueline agrees.
Right, Jacqueline? Yeah. And you
can always, if something happens at the wedding,
she can back out. Conlonable, yeah.
If something came up, wedding,
she doesn't have to answer
him. She can answer him the next
day what would sheena do but if you sheila sheila she nice oh i do what you're doing your callback
yeah callback would you ever want to in your message kind of reference the fact that you've
been liking each other's stories like in a very playful way be like it's not that i don't love
liking a story every two months but do you want to hang out when i'm in town so that way there's kind of like a casual
entry to it yeah i think i'd be down to like do something like that yeah i've been like trying to
be you know from listening but yeah why don't you just take a picture of your thumb say you
interested in seeing more than this not bad oh my god there's more where this? Not bad. Oh my gosh.
There's more where this came from.
Thumb shots. Nobody sends thumb
shots anymore.
Would you be interested
as a social experiment, would you be willing
to take a picture of your thumb, text it to him,
and say, are you interested in seeing more of this?
This is my thumb. See how he responds.
That's actually not bad.
It's an icebreaker. It's weird. It's funny. If he doesn't make him laugh, he sucks anyways. Oh my god. See how he responds. That's actually not bad. It's an icebreaker. It's weird.
It's funny.
If he doesn't make him laugh, he sucks anyways.
Oh, my God.
I don't know if it would work with this guy, but there definitely is this other guy that that would work.
You have more of a thumb guy.
I will try it with the other guy.
Not a sense of humor guy?
Yeah.
Okay.
I don't know enough about this guy yet, but I know another guy that I had been like-
Here's where you're overthinking it.
Here's where you're overthinking it here's where you're overthinking it he's just
a guy and whatever his personality is
or whatever like it's
if he doesn't have a sense of humor
about him though he could be like a murderer
and then he could be really
should not have your thumb like he could collect
thumbs maybe
stupid and think it's a
toe a real big toe or
a D shot your toes too big or a D shot and why it's a... A toe. A real big toe. Or a D shot.
Your toe is too big. Or a D shot.
And why is there a nail on your penis?
You think she's going to send a picture of her thumb and he's going to mistake it as
a dick pic?
It can.
Okay.
If you put just the tip of your thumb.
Oh, like you've never done that.
Yes.
Everybody was doing that on Photo Booth.
You put just the tip of your thumb in a photo.
It looks like the tip of a penis.
I did not know that.
These are facts.
What kind of penis?
It's just like the very...
Are you with somebody?
Do you know what a penis looks like?
I am...
I'll prove it.
I'll prove it.
Oh, God.
Maybe the penis is you've been hanging out with.
Just non-jews
what like the end of your thumb looks like a penis they're probably they're probably not jewish they're not circumcised is that the not what it looks like to not be circumcised
sorry about this
she's literally taking a photo right now.
I am alarmed.
Okay, back.
All right.
The most important thing you need to remember is like,
there's nothing magical you can say or not say to really change the outcome.
Just put yourself out there and see how they feel.
Just let them know you're in town.
Okay.
You know? Okay. So, yeah. you're in town. Right, okay. You know?
Okay, so, yeah.
No.
Okay, yeah.
I mean, fine, I guess.
Fine, all right.
So, Ashley.
That's amazing.
Wow.
You apologize.
I'm so sorry.
That should be everyone's profile pic.
Amanda looks like she has a massive
boner in that photo i'm crying oh my god okay send them that exact picture and say do you want
to see more of this oh my god oh my god
he was like respectfully no yeah just
honestly don't the more
you overthink it the more you psych
yourself out I can see
you probably are
I think it's too late the fact
that you're the fact that you're calling
into this show and asking this
question you're already overthinking
so yeah right
I don't overthink it i overthink everything like do you
i don't know well the fact that you have a duvet cover on the floor beside the bed that you haven't
even put on tells me you're an overthinker yeah honestly the fact that you're like honest you just
want to kind of get laid so i would just focus on the sex rather than the guy and what what I mean by that is, you know, it's just like he's just some guy.
And at the end of the day, you're looking for fun, exciting, maybe some sex weekend.
And to Howie's point, it could be this guy.
It could be another guy.
So let the idea of it could be another guy.
Or it could just be your own thumb.
Or your thumb.
Sure.
It could be my thumb.
Yeah, you are totally correct.
She's hoping it's not. Try the index finger. God. Sure. That'd be my thumb. Yeah, you are totally correct. She's hoping it's not.
Try the index finger.
Dad!
Sorry. My daughter's right in the room.
Well, let's hope it's not that.
He just got done talking to Chris Kardashian about squirting,
so he's feeling a little loose.
Oh my gosh.
I live next door, and there's a drought.
Oh my gosh.
I live next door and there's a drought.
Isn't it my grass is really green.
It's been rainy. There's not a drought anymore.
This was back when there was a drought.
Oh, there was a drought.
Do you squirt?
Dad.
I'm trying to do homework.
I'm trying to do homework.
You are going to get in more trouble. Am you are gonna get more trouble am i gonna get
trouble is that a bad question i don't know i think it's an inappropriate question oh my god
so do you feel good about a message i'm gonna circle back here shoot my shot yeah i'll shoot
my shot and we'll i guess just see what happens and i will send a pic of my thumb there you go
keep it super casual not a whole paragraph don't send like paragraphs send a pic of my thumb. There you go. Keep it super casual. Not a whole paragraph.
Don't send like paragraphs.
Send a sentence.
I'm going to be in your neighbor this weekend.
I'd love to see you.
I think that's what you send.
Okay.
Send it today.
I will do that.
I will do that.
If he says no,
then you can be like,
okay, cool.
Let's just like each other's Instagram
stories every two months.
He's not going to say no.
He's not going to say no.
He's either gonna say
awesome like what are you doing he'll you'll you'll you'll hear his enthusiasm or it'll be
like sure like hit me up i'm around that that means he's not as excited he's definitely open
to it if it's an option but good news you're just looking for sex anyways so if it's saturday night
and he's a little buzzing you're a little buzz you're both feeling for sex anyways so if it's saturday night and he's a little buzz and
you're a little buzz you're both feeling frisky maybe it'll happen maybe not but like you don't
have to stress about it and focus on your friends and then to how his point just kind of if he says
no you just answer with thank god we're on the same page just wanted to check
wait i love that that's actually pretty good really good i'm good i got stuff just the
do you squirt yeah is that a is that an inappropriate you kids probably that anymore
i've never asked it you don't care you could leave it in i don't think i've ever been asked
i think that's the first time in my life i've been asked that is it how do you feel about tell
me if it's a bad question like have I done something wrong by asking that question?
Maybe.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I'll tell you why.
That was an over-thinker's guess.
An over-thinker's guess.
No, let me tell you why.
And it just goes back to the duvet.
With a pure white duvet, if you do, then you're going to stain it and ruin it.
But with a pattern duvet, if you are a squirter, get that duvet on your bed now.
That's all I'm saying.
It's a white pattern duvet.
So is your squirting.
It's a white pattern.
Wouldn't it be?
Well, for the rest of your life, you can say Howie Mandel asked me if I squirt.
Yeah, I can.
That's a great story.
That would be a great thing to put on your great story. No, you don't say that. You say
Howie Mandel helped
me choose the right duvet
cover for my bed.
You don't have to get into details. There's no
reason to get into details. Howie
Mandel does his homework and he's interested
in my bedding.
Yes. That's the story.
That works. That works.
Problem solved. You're going to message him and yes that's the story that works that works yeah perfect problem solved okay yeah you're gonna
message him and please email us do it now right now as you're on let's see it let's put your
phone oh my god do it now right now right now oh my god because i want to see if the answer's
right back while we're on yeah they're usually podcasting i know we try it usually they take
a good 10 minutes let's see we 10 minutes let's see okay I could try
don't feel bad don't worry about it
I'm already sweating
I love the energy
of how he's bringing it
you have no idea what's going on in his world right now
there's no reason for you to sweat
because there's a million reasons
why this might not happen that have nothing to do with you
hey I'm gonna be in your town this weekend
and would love to see you.
Any interest in getting together?
No, not any interest.
I'd love to see you.
All right, let's meet up.
I'd love to see you.
Like any punctuation?
I don't know.
Hey, comma.
He won't notice.
He won't notice.
Hey, comma.
I'm going to be in your town this weekend.
And back to throwing a typo in there.
What's with her fucking comma
I would do
Hey comma
Hey comma
I'm going to be in your town this weekend
And would love to see you
No period
Write comma
I'm going to be in your town this weekend
Would love to see you
I'd love to see you
Would love to see you. We're talking about a guy here. I'd love to see you. Would love to see you.
Would love to see you.
Would love to see you.
Don't say I.
Not even a full sentence.
Yeah, would love to see you.
Our emoji's done.
This hurts me.
And spell wood, W-O-O-D.
He'll get it.
With a thumb.
Thumbs up emoji.
With a thumb.
Eggplant.
Okay.
Hey, comma, I'm going to be in your town this weekend.
Would love to see you.
That's it
yeah yeah yeah send powerful send send looking for some sex i sent it
okay let's see let's see let's hear oh he's coming back no i'm saying let's see the answer
oh how i how i want to respond. I was proving I didn't.
Oh my God.
I don't know if he'll respond.
He's not in town right now.
He's actually in Canada.
Oh, right.
Where we don't have the World Wide Web.
You're right.
How can you respond?
There's a time difference in Canada?
It's later.
Well, it depends on where you're at.
Oh, where are you from. Where are you from?
Are you familiar with Canadian?
You're in New York. And where in Canada is he?
Vancouver?
He's in Newfoundland.
Okay, I don't think we're going to find him.
It's earlier.
Oh, it's later. Newfoundland.
Where's Newfoundland?
It's on the east coast. East, east.
It's out there.
There's a few hour time difference. I don't know what time it east. East. It's in the ocean. He's out there.
There's like a few hour time difference.
I don't know what time it is.
He also might not be getting internet in Newfoundland.
No, he's getting internet in Newfoundland.
I'm Canadian.
It's my country.
We have the internet.
We have electricity.
Roads.
Not Newfoundland.
But Newfoundland is where everybody landed.
There's a big play in New York where everybody landed during 9-11. I think that's, wasn't it Newfoundland but newfoundland is where everybody landed there's a big play in new
york where everybody landed during 9-11 i think that's wasn't it newfoundland there's a play in
new york where everybody landed in this canadian city you're in new york do you know what i'm
talking i know what you're talking about yeah i i don't know the name of it but i know what
you're talking about yeah i was thinking of like i i know what you're talking about with the play but i don't know it's a big play and come from away come from away yeah yeah yeah that's it isn't
that newfoundland yeah i think it's his is he is he with 9-11 survivors that haven't left yet
what does he do no no he uh this is probably gonna give away like a little bit of detail but he's a hockey player oh like oh he's it oh this changes things no but not in the NHL no a puck boy no not in the NHL
not like not NHL not Newfoundland they don't have a team but I mean if I know that knowing that he's
an like a down did you say he's a puck boy? A puck boy. Knowing that he's a hockey player
like in the minor leagues,
let's just call it that,
like you probably could have been like,
I'm looking for some really great sex this weekend.
Yeah.
Honestly.
In fact, if he doesn't-
I didn't want to like give,
I don't know,
like I didn't want to give
like too much information away,
but-
Nobody's going to find somebody
who plays hockey in Newfoundland.
I'm telling you.
From Canada. Yeah. That's going to be like every third hockey in newfoundland i'm telling you canada
yeah that's gonna be like every third person in newfoundland in the street it's like saying
he wears t-shirts yes yeah yeah you're yeah he's probably not that busy right now he should be
answering is he answering i don't know let me check also knowing he's a hockey player he would
love the thumb joke by the way there's no way he's not going to love that. He answered. He answered.
What did he say?
He said, when are you heading there?
And he said, I'm going to be headed home later this week.
Damn it.
Okay, hold on.
That's a yes.
All right.
That's awesome.
That's a good thing.
This is great.
And he answered quickly.
A hockey player.
A Canadian hockey player.
A new fan.
I was actually a little surprised by that.
I'm not.
I'm not the NHL.
It's not.
He's way off
Dad you're minimizing everything
Between relationships
And people's careers
Gotta stop minimizing stuff
No I'm just saying
He's not busy
Okay
Oh my god
Okay
Should I just be like
I have a wedding on Saturday
No no no
Saturday
Just say Saturday
Saturday
I gotta thing
Saturday
But I'll be free Like Or you can be like Let's meet up Saturday I'll be coming from a wedding no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no a thing Saturday. Just say I got a thing Saturday. I have something Saturday. So I'll be in town.
That's it. Less is more.
Okay, I got plans
Saturday. No, I got a thing Saturday.
I got a thing Saturday. Yeah, if you say I have
plans, let's meet up
afterwards. Make him ask
follow-up questions. Okay, I got
a thing Saturday. Let's meet up after.
No, no. I got a thing.
He asked, when are you in town? You've already said, just say I got a thing Saturday. Let's meet up after. No, no. I got a thing. He asked, when are you in town? Do you want it? You've already said just say I got a thing Saturday.
Send what? What did he what was your first question? Well, what did he say? Read what he said. OK, OK. He said, when are you heading there? I'm going to be headed home later this week. I got a thing on Saturday. I'll be there Saturday. Yeah, I don't feel like I got a thing on Saturday. I'll be there Saturday.
He didn't say yes. Let him say
let's be there. When are you in town, though?
Her saying, I got a thing Saturday doesn't even
imply if she's in town or out of town.
I'll be there this weekend.
I said that
before. What did you say before?
Say your first question. What? I said, hey,
I'm going to be in your town this weekend. Would love to you and then he said he said when are you heading there i'm
gonna be headed home later this week what day are you heading there should i say friday i'll be
there saturday what day are you heading saturday like in the morning saturday so saturday i get
there saturday night i got a thing i have a thing saturday let's meet up afterwards because because
you have a time that you want to see him.
But here's him into your schedule.
Yeah, but he didn't say he wants to meet up yet.
He's just say I'm coming in on Saturday.
Yes.
Okay.
Coming in on Saturday.
We would be a terrible guy hoping to come later, too.
And send a picture of me.
Yeah.
Okay.
Coming in on Saturday. Just that. Yeah. thumb. Yeah. Okay. Coming in on Saturday.
Just that?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's it.
Yes.
Coming in on Saturday.
Okay.
Okay.
Coming in on Saturday.
Done.
Yay!
I think we should say it on the line.
You have to do something typing for like five minutes.
No.
Don't say coming in on Saturday.
That's the worst thing you can say.
You should say.
You should.
No, I'm serious.
Don't send that.
Don't send that.
He did it.
I did it already.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. Well, let it. I did it already. He's fucking with you.
I'm just kidding.
I'm kidding.
Well, let's see what he says back.
How is a devil an agent of chaos?
Imagine growing up with him.
Oh, my God.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Horrible.
Oh, man.
Sorry.
Jacqueline, you want to talk about your horrible childhood right now?
No.
We didn't get along.
We've talked about that before.
No?
No.
You guys seem like a really- Now we get along. Now we really now we get along this is the highlight the light of my life but
she hated me for four years was there a turning point in particular what it was more than four
years it started middle school didn't we're having we're having daughter father therapy
while we wait for him to respond okay keep going because he's typing
what was what were you guys fighting about?
Everything.
He was very, very overprotective and controlling.
Okay.
How did you come to a common understanding?
I moved away to college.
Right?
Yeah.
And then did you have...
I went to therapy and learned how to deal with whatever I had to deal with. But I can't tell you how many times I physically showed up at places where not where she said she was and physically pulled her out and brought her home.
But I was embarrassing.
I'll tell you one quick story.
Well, did he answer yet?
Yeah.
What did I tell your story?
I don't know if it's good, but yeah, finish.
Oh.
Oh.
All right.
Hold on.
We'll get the Taurus to Hawi story in a second.
What did you say?
Damn, I'm not sure if I'll be there that long,
but if I am, then definitely.
That long?
That long.
You didn't say anything besides Saturday.
I guess he's like, I'm coming back at the end of the week,
and then he's leaving again?
Yeah.
Okay.
So maybe he's just in town like Thursday and Friday
and leaving Saturday?urday okay so leave what
if what if we go big and what if you just say i mean what if you just say damn i was really hoping
for some great after wedding sex no like no why not because she wants the anxiety yeah don't do
that why i just because i'm telling you don't do that you you? Because I'm telling you, don't do that.
No, because you got to make him. What if she does want more than just sex?
Her or him?
Yeah, her.
That's not a good way to start a relationship.
She says if it ends up being more.
What do you really want?
Deep down.
She wants more.
Otherwise, she wouldn't even care.
I wouldn't be opposed to more.
Okay, then don't say that.
Right, because that negates any further...
If you just want to get laid, you can get laid.
Basically, base level, I want to get laid.
But if it were to be more, I wouldn't be opposed to it.
How about you respond?
Between you and me, I think you should see me.
Or make it a priority.
Between you and me, I think you should stick around.
I think it's worth your while. I think this is where she sends a thumb pick oh wow there's more where this
came from i love my kid well oh my god okay you send the thumb pick and you say well if you decide
to stick around there's more where this came from seriously i don't know if i could
do the thumb pick he's a hockey player he's a hockey between you and me hockey players love
thumb picks they're a bit crass i think she could get away with saying something like between you
and me i think it'd be worth your while or like i think you should stick around i feel like the
thumb picks a bit odd i like like the thumb pick. OK.
It's funny.
I would just stop answering because he's not jumping for it.
I would I would stop answering.
Go to the wedding and say, are you in town that day?
And that day you go in town.
I would stop.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because now he knows.
Like you already said, when you're going to be there, if he was super, super interested, he would have made it happen.
And he may still make it happen.
He'll still get back to you. He's not super, super interested, but that's okay.
I bet he'll double text and ask about more details.
I don't think just because she shoots her shot,
the person needs to immediately be obsessed or down.
He just heard from some girl and maybe he's processing.
He can be like lukewarm.
Yeah, and he hasn't gone back through the,
he's got to go back to the account.
He might get excited after he spends
an amazing night with her.
You know, like I don't think he needs
to be excited right now.
He did respond immediately.
That's pretty good.
And now he wants to go through her account
and make sure this is who he thinks it is.
I think a small comment.
I think you should make the time.
Have you met him in person?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I've met him in person just like a couple of times, like briefly.
But I've met him.
If he's not interested, my brother's available.
How about this?
Write this.
Write back.
I think you should make the time.
I think it'll be fun.
Send her brother a thumb pick.
Send my brother a thumb pick.
My brother's available. This is what you said. I think you should make the time. It'll be fun send her brother a thumb pick send my brother a thumb pick this is what you said I think you should make the time it will be fun
okay
or something along those lines
that sounds really hard
I think it is
just move on
I disagree with Jacqueline
don't answer right
and then on Saturday just go so you're in town on saturday what if i do
something like along the lines of like what ali said and just say like oh it could be like worth
your while then cold cut it and then saturday you know be like because you're committed to
to fucking you don't want to be committed to that don't commit until you're in the room
or like i don't know maybe i won't reach out Don't commit until you're in the room. Or like, I don't know. Maybe I won't reach out Saturday.
Maybe, maybe the better plan is to do like what you said, just be like, it'll be worth
your while.
Then kind of like balls in his court.
Yeah.
I think you have to do one or the other, because I think if you say it's going to be worth
your while and then follow up on Saturday, that's too much.
A lot of opinions in the room for it's for, I think you're worth your while.
My Pete, I think that's, I think you should.
It would be fun.
It's a little less forward than it'll be worth your while.
It'll be fun.
Okay.
I think you should.
It'll be fun.
And then see what he does on Saturday.
I don't think you reach back out on Saturday.
I think you should.
Got it.
It'll be fun.
And then that's it.
Nothing else.
Okay.
He what?
Did he send more?
No, he didn't say more.
I'm just overthinking how that fits into what he said.
I promise you,
saying, I think you should, it'll be fun,
isn't ruining any of your chances.
And he can
interpret what he thinks fun is.
Okay. I think you should stick around.
It would be fun.
I think you...
Yeah, I think that's good.
I think you should stick around. It'll be fun.
I think you should be there. It'll be fun. I think you should be there.
It'll be fun.
It will be fun.
It'll be fun.
We'll have fun.
With the grammar.
These are important things, Howie.
It'll versus it will?
Very different.
Yeah, we'll have fun.
Alex is like that too.
He calls me with texts and messages that girls have sent to him.
My son.
Yeah.
Who does very well.
With the lady.
Is he a middle-aged fuckboy?
Yeah, I think so.
I don't know if he's middle-aged.
He's how old are you?
42.
Oh, he's way younger than you.
He's 33.
He's middle, yeah.
I'm 29.
If this doesn't work out, you can give him my number.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'm looking. If this doesn't work out, you can give him my number. Yeah. That's what I'm saying.
I'm looking for a sister-in-law.
Really?
And you think you found it on the vial file?
I don't know.
It could come from anywhere.
Okay.
I said, I think you should stick around.
We'd have fun.
Great.
Yeah.
Love it.
Yeah.
Perfect.
Good?
Okay.
Perfect.
Okay.
All right. Now, don't think about... Well, he's going to write back. He's going to... Yeah all right now don't think about well he's gonna write back he's gonna yeah i'm gonna think about it no matter what but what do you do for a living
wow what do you do for a living me i'm a i'm a graphic designer oh i'm working from home right
now but i'm on my break but you know in case anyone knows me they think you're gonna be okay i'm on my break
they don't even know what time you're calling it's not live so as a graphic designer
i know that you could probably enhance it and make it like so artistic yeah i can photoshop
anything really no but i'm saying the thumb pick from a graphic artist you can make it bigger
yeah yeah i could put it in his photo be like i don't want to embarrass you but i just thought but I'm saying the thumb pick from a graphic artist. You can make it bigger. Yeah. Yeah, I could.
You could put it in his photo and be like,
I don't want to embarrass you,
but I just thought you should know.
I don't want to intimidate you.
I'm showing it.
Oh my God.
Like a picture of him.
Yeah.
And he's like, wait, is my dick in the picture?
He's like, not another nude leaked he's definitely sent a picture of his dick for sure he's a hockey player why why why i mean listen i'm sure i don't don't need the hockey player community mad at me
but oh you're we're canadians don't diss us they They love hockey players are, you know.
I know a lot of them are missing teeth.
Well, don't even say that.
I don't know.
I think they.
Hockey players are our future.
They're emotionally mature and available young men who are all about.
They do a lot of work on themselves.
They're just emotionally vulnerable and all full of commitment.
I do think there's some
hot like high integrity hockey players yeah but i'm just saying i just think there's a good chance
he also might be just a massive fuck boy right now yeah yeah but that's fine it works for what i
like need it to work for so in you know in the scenario so all right well we're gonna let you go keep us
posted on if if this ends up happening i will and um he shoots he scores i will yes thank you
goal
all right good luck good luck thank you for calling okay
of course thanks for having me.
Thanks for coming on.
Howie.
What?
What?
You over me?
How long is this podcast?
We're wrapping up.
We talked to Joe Rogan for like five hours.
I know.
That was long.
Really?
I don't know.
I told him I want to.
It's really hard. I don't have a long attention him I want to. I have, it's really hard.
I don't have a long attention.
I'm loving this.
This is fun.
I just have really one more question.
Okay.
I have three more answers.
This is not adding up.
Mental health advocate, therapy, and a lot of therapy myself.
What is something that you've learned in therapy that has really helped you with your mental
health that maybe has altered your perception or your POV on how you see things that has allowed you to have a more healthy
outlook on life? You want one answer on how to solve the world's mental health problem? No,
something that's worked for you, like something that you learned in therapy that was kind of an
aha moment. I learned it. The aha moment, the biggest aha moment for me was talking about it, even outside of therapy and removing the stigma. I think most people have at least there's no human being at some point in their whatever. You know, it could be the breakup.
It could be loss.
It could be too much pressure at work.
And we all need coping skills.
And when you're dealing with something in your own head, the hardest thing I think our
masses in our culture has is to be open about it.
So I think once you talk about it, it's very freeing in knowing that
there might be somebody out there that relates, that understands and could maybe move you in the
right direction. So you talk to a friend that may not work or a loved one or a coworker or a parent.
But the first thing I talked about, because I am so old, I'm not middle-aged, I'm, I'm in my golden years. And I, from my century of,
uh, existence, nobody talked to the word mental was even a negative, you know, if you're mental,
you're just in trouble and you should be institutionalized. So when I started getting
help and I did get help because I was forced to get help by my wife who threatened me,
if I wasn't going to get help, she wasn't going to stick around. And then I got help because I was forced to get help by my wife who threatened me. If I wasn't going to get help, she wasn't going to stick around.
And then I got help and I was embarrassed about getting help, even though I was helped.
And then the biggest monumental thing was accidentally on a broadcast, somewhat like
this, the Howard Stern show.
I talked about it by accident thinking we were off the air.
And I was devastated by the fact that it was on the air and that my dirty
little secret was out there. And then I started getting, this is before the internet, I started
getting mail from people who said, and somebody stopped me in the street and said, they heard me
talking and it was comforting. And they didn't realize how comforting it was to me to hear that
somebody else also has issues. And what I've learned is everybody has issues.
So to answer your question, talking about it is the answer.
I love that.
I know.
Pretty cool, right?
It's really helpful.
And I'm a wonderful person who doesn't do homework.
What about you, Jacqueline?
It's got to be the same.
But I was really, really lucky to grow up with him as a dad who was very open and honest about it. And my
mom as well. I came from a family who always taught. I mean, we didn't get along, like we said,
for a long time, but who always talked about it. And there wasn't any stigma. And I'm very much
like him. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. So I've been also diagnosed with my own
stuff. But I've always had someone to go to that i could relate with and who didn't judge me
and pointed me in the right directions in terms of therapy and getting help so i agree what helped
me is uh recognizing that everything's not about me like i'm not the main character and have other
people's story and i feel like that's something that people struggle with a lot these days but like as soon
as I like I always know like as a young man like you know you told your special and like you know
being thinking you're the main character helps you a lot it makes you believe that you're capable of
a lot of things even when other it gives you belief in yourself but then I think as you get
older like I think sometimes you forget that the world doesn't just revolve around you. And I think that has allowed me to be more empath of main character syndrome and realizing that other people have their problems
and they have their shit going on,
it weirdly takes some of that anxiety away.
And every time I feel like I am struggling
with my mental health,
I realize that I'm not being as mindful
of the world around me as I could be.
And that often calms me down. What do you think?
You say that all the time. You said not the same exact thing, but you have to live in their world.
No one has to live in your world. So you have to. Well, that was the impetus that put me into
therapy because my issues, big one is control. And whether you know, I would, and whether it was controlling germs or controlling,
you know, if you, if I saw you touch that and I'd go, listen, I know where that cup was,
go wash your hands. And I was making everybody do things around me to make me comfortable.
And ultimately I learned that, listen, the world is not you, you are in the world so how do you cope coping is coping with the world the world
i was spent my life my formative years and into my 40s into about your age trying to make
the world listen to me yeah because i know what i'm. No, I think that's, I would say very differently,
but similar for different reasons.
Yeah, I think we get, you can kind of feel like it's,
well, you know, it's, your life is your story.
And I think when we see the world that way,
we have these expectations of all people
who interact with us and that can-
But nothing teaches you more i'm not
right you don't even have a date yet but when having kids yeah i thought i would grow up have
children and teach them about the world but i grew up and had children and they teach me every day
about the world because you see how humanity reacts to what you're doing and how you are
and what makes them there whether whether that's a good,
bad or indifferent,
how the world reacts to you.
And there's no bigger microcosm than your own family.
You know?
So I learned a lot and we went through a real tough time.
I was tough.
Oh yeah.
You were going to say,
what was that breaking story before?
Well,
I don't know if it was a breaking story,
but it's kind of funny to just tell you how controlling I was.
You know,
I was so concerned and worried about everything.
I remember she was in high school
and she went to school one day and her mother and I,
most of me, would go into her room
and just make sure everything was okay,
check the drawers, and I opened the drawer and-
You were sneaking around in my room.
Yeah. Yeah.
But as a parent, you should be aware.
I would imagine raising a kid today like you are.
She's raising two kids who are on the internet.
I want to know what they're on.
You watch and know what your daughter's doing.
Yeah.
But I found a canister, a film canister in a room.
And she doesn't take pictures.
And she didn't have a camera.
And it was filled with pot.
So I freaked out. was filled with pot. So I like freaked out,
you know, she's doing pot. So I figured I'm going to get to the bottom of this. And I got in my car
and I drove to the school and I went to the office and I said, where is Jacqueline? She's Jacqueline
Schultz now, but she was Jacqueline Mandel there. Where is Jacqueline Mandel? And they said, she's
in math class or whatever on the second floor. And I just, before they could even finish, I, I, I started running up the stairs to where the classrooms where the people were chasing me,
you know, going, you can't, you can't just go in. And I went upstairs and I remember I found
her classroom. I look in the door and everybody's sitting down there having a test. You're,
you're in the middle of a test. I just opened the door and I went, Jacqueline, you come with me,
you come with me. And she went, what are you doing?
What do you do?
I said, you just come with me.
You will see young lady.
And I pulled her out of the class, down the hall, down the stairs.
The people in the administration is going, what are you doing?
You can't just take her.
And they don't know.
Maybe it's a divorce and I'm coming and taking the kid.
And she goes, dad, dad, please.
This is so embarrassing.
I said, you will see, you will see.
And I put her in the car.
I drove her home. She's screaming at me the whole time. This is the most embarrassing thing. You will see. And I put her in the car. I drove her home.
She's screaming at me the whole time.
This is the most embarrassing thing.
What are you doing?
I took her into the house.
I took her into her room.
I handed her the canister and I gave it to her and I go, what is that, young lady?
And she goes, that is my fish food.
And I went, good.
I just want to make sure you take care of the fish. We put the cap back on and I drove her back to school.
And that.
My fish's food was in there because the container was normally in broke.
How old were you?
I was in high school, probably freshman or sophomore.
Freshman.
Yeah.
Did you apologize?
No.
That's what I wanted to come on today to do.
Yeah.
Jackie.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
Okay.
I forgive you.
I love you.
It's a good story now.
I love you.
I love you too.
And you know, I wouldn't mean to embarrass you on purpose. And I did it because I cared about you. forgive you. I love you. It's a good story now. I love you. I love you too. And you know I wouldn't mean to embarrass you on purpose.
And I did it because I cared about you.
Thank you.
It's important that we talk about this.
And this is the reason, this is the only reason I'm here.
I don't care about the Scandaville.
Scandaville?
It's a place.
That's a place that happened.
I do love what you said about friendships on that end.
That you learn who your real friends are.
Because Tom was saying how he doesn't really have anyone
who he can stay with.
That was a really good, that was.
Well, I think that's a good thing for life.
I took a private plane one time and somebody said,
you have the best pilot.
And I go, well, how do you know that's the best?
Why is this the best pilot?
And like, how can you, how do you measure pilots?
And this is a great analogy for life or
friends, for relationships, for everything. And they said, well, you don't want to know if you
have the best pilot, but I'll tell you, you do. And I said, well, what does that mean? They go,
well, every six months they got to get rated on whatever plane they're flying. Right. And they
put them in a simulator, a flight simulator. That's how you get your test. And in it to keep your, your rating up on that airplane or that vehicle, what they do is
they'll, they'll, um, stall an engine. They put you in severe turbulence. They'll put an engine
on fire. They'll dive. And the best people are the people that can, the people that rate the best are the people that can get you out of this emergency situation. So you kind of, if you look at that, anybody can
press the right buttons and take off a plane and sit there on autopilot and fly a plane.
And that's kind of a great analogy for life. You could have fun with a lot of people. You can be
in a relationship with somebody that you think is there for you. But when the shit hits the fan, when the bird hits the engine, when the fuel runs out of
your life, you get out of the mess.
Who is there for you and who helps you and who it's the dark times that tell more about
everybody than the light time.
I kind of agree more.
I think when you're younger, you think your friends are there for you to have a good time
with and share secrets.
But when you get older, you value people who are willing to hold you accountable even if it's
difficult and stand by your side and challenge you and and uh be there for you and well that's
why nick i always i'll be honest when i first saw you and i first met you i i thought you were an
amazing person and a good guy and i wanted to be friends with you and there's been some shit in my
life since and you have not been one fucking place you never show up you never call so fuck you nick
i feel bad just saying i mean i know you're kidding but if if there's one one percent that
was true i feel like i just dropped the ball no no i lost my chance to be the best you don't do
your homework you don't know what's been going on in my life but there's been a lot of shit
could we be friends
nope
too late
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oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh you on with your fiance i'm not kidding okay we'll book it soon like real soon oh great i'm not kidding can't wait i i follow through all right well i probably should let you go yes because my
uh if we keep going it'll just turn into my podcast all right this is the never-ending
podcast yeah it's really is the sun gone down yet yeah that's why we close the curtains actually
right you'll never know i bet you that collar's been laid four times already yeah the whole hockey
team she's already squirted and it's frozen over uh howie jacklyn thank you so much for coming
it's been a real pleasure i know i've really enjoyed it uh do you have any final thoughts
or things you want to put out there or promote your show,
your podcast?
Yeah.
Our show.
Howie Mandel does stuff because he didn't want to include my name, even though I said
I really wanted my name in there.
You are the stuff.
Yeah.
Howie Mandel does stuff.
Oh, that's coming up.
I'm sorry.
Well, you asked us to promote.
Anyway, we'll see you. Check it out. It's wild. That's it. up. I'm sorry. Well, you asked us to promote. Anyway, we'll see you.
Check it out.
It's wild.
Bye.
Bye.