The Weekly Planet - 10 Terrible/Bizarre/Better Alternate Endings To Popular Comic Book Movies
Episode Date: December 3, 2013This week we explore the alternate endings to some of the most successful comic book movie to date including Superman 2, The Wolverine, Iron Man 2 & 3, 1989 Batman and more!Thanks for supporting t...he show! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Red hot comic book movie news.
Shooting up your butthole.
The Weekly Planet.
The Weekly Planet.
Welcome everybody to episode 10 of The Weekly Planet, The Weekly Planet Welcome everybody to episode 10 of The Weekly Planet, official podcast of ComicBookMovie.com
My name is James, junior editor at ComicBookMovie
You may know me as Mr. Sunday
I thought you were going to say my name is James Jr.
Do you remember James Bond Jr. the TV show?
Yes, of course I do
Ah, but he wasn't an actual junior
No, he was his nephew
And there was always that really awkward scene where he'd introduce himself He'd go, my name's Bond. James Bond. James Bond Jr.
Oh wow. So he'd say the whole thing. Oh, that's, yeah. He never had any friends. Shit show.
Yeah. I don't remember it very well. Out of the gate. Trailblazing opinions. Joining me
as always is my co-host, James Bond Jr. fanatic. That's me. Nick Mason.
Hey, pal.
What's up?
I'm good.
I'm excellent.
I'm recording slightly delayed today because there was a fly in the room and you ran around
Walter White obsessively trying to swat at it and negotiate its safe passage out of the
room.
It was...
It would have driven me crazy.
I should have put
the video on YouTube
because...
Millions of hits.
So many millions.
Yeah.
Fantastic stuff.
One of these days
you'll get through
an entire intro of this show
without me interrupting.
That's fine.
It's not today.
Why would we?
What do we do today?
Good question.
Well, as we discussed earlier,
this week we're talking
alternative endings
to popular comic book movies
I've written here some clever, some wacky, some boring
And some quite frankly not worth talking about
Let's talk about them anyway
Exactly
I've got quite a few actually
Some of them aren't strictly comic book movies
But all of them have at least big comic book properties
Kind of based on them or spinning off from them
I'm somewhat capable of talking about things that aren't comic book movies.
Good.
Yeah.
Excellent.
I mean, evidence will bear that out one way or the other today, but maybe not.
We'll see.
I'm not confident, I'll be honest with you.
We've got news to start with, though.
I've got two things to talk about for news.
I'm ready.
Let's talk about news.
You like to keep the news a secret, don't you?
Yes.
I want to be surprised by news.
You want it to be news.
Yeah. Not old. Precisely. I think to be surprised by news. You want it to be news. Yeah.
Not old.
Precisely.
I think I stole that from a Ricky Gervais podcast.
I'm pretty sure I did.
He can keep that one.
It's fine.
Okay.
First off, Jeff Johns, DC's chief creative officer, has said that Aquaman is a priority
character for DC.
Hinting at the fact we may be getting an Aquaman movie.
What do you think?
It's never going to work.
Are you serious?
I would love to see an Aquaman. I'm probably not. Do It's never going to work. Are you serious? I would love to see an Aquaman.
I'm probably not.
Do you mean never going to get off the ground or not going to work?
I don't even.
Aquaman, in theory, I enjoy the character.
Yep.
But realistically, he's just sort of stuck around because people at DC Editorial like him for some reason.
Like they like the orange scaly shirt.
Yeah, I like that. they like his hair or whatever but i think you you're the one who introduced me to
aquaman because i think in the late 90s you gave me some of the jla grant morrison's jla run okay
sure and um the villain one of the white martians goes to him spoiler alert yeah it's it's fucking
it's 15 it's 15 years old so whatever it is
yeah
but um
how he's like
you can't stop me Aquaman
you're useless
and he like
gives him a brain seizure
yeah
like he goes into his head
attacks his like
fish part of his brain
uh huh sure
you know and
the fish that lives in his brain
the fish that lives in all of our brains
yeah
yeah
he's good in that
and he's well written in that
yeah
I don't know
there's so much potential
in Aquaman
but it's never been
have you ever
it's never been realised
have you read the new 52 stuff
nope
it's pretty good
alright then
and they actually play off
the fact that they're like
but he's a dumb fish man
yeah he's a dumb fish man
because they're like
there's a scene at the start
where he stops a bank robbery
like in the middle of the city
or you know
near the coast
and they're like
and the cop's like
what are you doing here?
And one of them goes, do you want a glass of water?
And they all kind of smirk.
Nice.
So there's a little stuff.
So they kind of acknowledge it.
All right, okay.
And so, yeah.
And someone even says to him in it,
how does it feel to be everybody's least favorite superhero?
That's pretty good.
And he flips out.
Okay, here's the thing, though.
They can do that in a comic book world.
They've got a lot of scope for that.
Yeah.
Now, attempt to put that
in a Man of Steel universe.
Yeah.
Good point.
Because you can't,
he can't be in that universe
that's very,
very,
very grim and serious
but also be a fish man
who talks to fish.
Well,
and he specifies in this
as well,
he doesn't talk to fish.
He can manipulate
what they're going to do
because they've got
small fish minds.
Maybe that's fish racist? I don't know. It's certainly a fish retcon, isn't it do because they've got small fish minds. Oh. Maybe that's fish racist.
I don't know.
It's certainly a fish retcon, isn't it?
That they've, in the past, he could always talk to fish.
He could, yeah.
Like, hey, what's going on, Aquaman?
And he was all like...
Shut up.
Shut up.
Why do all these fish talk to me?
I don't like it.
Yeah, well, he said a few other things.
He said the ocean setting could work to a writer's advantage.
Do you think ocean movies, like ocean levels in video games, are the worst movies?
Like Ocean's Eleven?
Like Ocean's Eleven.
Yeah.
Do you like ocean movies?
The deep, deep blue sea?
Sea.
Beyond the Sea.
Beyond the Sea.
That's a good movie.
Yeah, it's good.
Yeah, ocean levels are always the worst levels.
They are.
So whatever movie tie-in is going to be the worst game ever are so whatever movie tie in is gonna be
the worst game ever
it's basically gonna be
Echo the Dolphin
yeah I was gonna say
Echo the Dolphin
and he also said
they've had
they've pushed in the past
for years
like on developing
his personality
his supporting cast
his personality
yeah he's got a personality
yeah
and his enemies like
Black Manta
and Ocean Master
so he's two enemies
yes
name another one
Mirror
Mirror
initially a mirror no his wife whatever M-E-R-A oh right is that how you say it and Ocean Master. So he's two enemies. Yes. Name another one. Mirror. Mirror.
Initially.
A mirror.
No, his wife, whatever.
M-E-R-R-A.
Oh, right.
Is that how you say it?
Mirror?
Mirror.
It's one of those things where I read it in my head and then I say it out loud.
I'm like, I may have been saying that wrong this whole time.
Yeah. Yeah.
I may have been saying that wrong this whole time.
One of mine was Segway.
Go on.
S-E-G-U-E.
Oh, right.
I always read that as Seg.
Like a Seg. But then, Segway. Yeah. I always read that is seg like a seg
but then
segway
do you hate
Aquaman's water hand
is that what this is
no that's probably
the best thing about him
really you love the water hand
I like the water hand
I like a harpoon hand
I don't like the harpoon hand
I wish he had a water hand
and a harpoon hand
and like an outboard
mode of foot
that would be pretty great
wouldn't it
that would be pretty great so yeah that it? That would be pretty great.
So yeah, that's all the Aquaman news this week, and probably ever.
Say so, yes.
Look, I would love to see...
Oh, so he's getting his own animated film.
Wow, they're just so nuts with that.
I think it's a possibility.
I don't think that counts as...
If you can pull off Thor...
Steady on.
You can pull off Aquaman.
I guess so.
Who would have thought Thor was possible
I did
okay
well done
I didn't know you
I've got no evidence
of that
yeah
yeah okay
but an animated feature
I don't think really
counts as anything
oh completely
there's tons of them
you're absolutely right
but um
you know
I don't think it's very
it's just a thing
it sure is
I love it
second piece of news
it was revealed this week
although it may have been already revealed or confirmed.
I can't remember.
News to me that Harry Osborn will be in Spider-Man 2.
That I knew.
But he'll be the Green Goblin,
skipping over the Norman Osborn.
Straight away.
I assume they'll be skipping over it, yeah.
So he's up against Rhino in a mechanical Rhino costume.
Who was it again?
It's bloody...
Paul Giamatti. There we go. Love it. Who's apparently only in it for the first 20ino. Yep. In a mechanical Rhino costume. Who was it again? It's bloody... Paul Giamatti.
There we go.
Love it.
Who's apparently only in it for the first 20 minutes.
Okay.
Jamie Foxx's Electro.
Villain overload.
I'm smelling villain overload.
And, yeah.
I'm smelling Batman and Robin.
Well, spoiler alert for those who haven't, aren't aware of what happens to Gwen Stacy.
Yep.
The Green Goblin.
Norman Osborn kills her, right?
Yep.
So maybe it'll be different this time.
Or maybe it'll be exactly the same.
I mean, technically, I think it was gravity that killed her.
Was it?
Yeah.
Oh, I thought you meant the superhero gravity.
No, no, no.
I was like, what?
Yeah.
What am I thinking?
Just a real prick of a guy.
Just...
No, okay.
What I would like to see...
And they hinted at the shocker this week as well
and a few others
that's going to confuse people
electronic shocker
big time
I mean they're different power sets
but people aren't going to
one's a quilt man
yeah one's a quilt man
exactly
one's Dr. Manhattan in a hoodie
yeah exactly
where's that gone
I've lost my train of thought
where were we
Bill and Overlord
oh they're Harry Osborn
I hope they kind of
I hope
Norman Osborn
becomes the
Green Goblin.
He crashes
into the side
of a building
and he dies
and then...
Immediately.
Yeah,
immediately.
And then all
the rubble
falls on
Harry Osborn
and he's
like,
Father!
Yeah.
I really
hope so too.
Why not?
Yeah.
Streamline the
whole process,
aren't they?
The trailer's
actually out
Tuesday,
so we can
talk about
that.
By the time this comes out it'll probably be out. But I think it actually looks pretty good. I was very Why not? Yeah. It's streamlined the whole process, aren't they? The trailer's actually out Tuesday, so we can talk about that. Well,
by the time this comes out,
it'll probably be out.
But,
I think it actually looks pretty good.
I was very sceptical at the start.
And the Mark Webb,
the director,
kept tweeting a whole lot of hints
and tidbits about it
for like months and months in advance.
And I'd read it and be like,
I don't care about this.
Like,
it's the least interesting sequel ever.
Because I didn't love
The Amazing Spider-Man.
It's okay.
But it was completely unnecessary.
But the more I see of this one,
it's not as dark and dark knight-y
as they kind of made the other one.
It looks more kind of comic book-y, which is good.
And I think you can put a few of his villains in it.
If you could do...
If you've got Rhino at the start,
and for a little bit,
you've always got a montage of beating up some of his close friends.
If we start the film and you know for a little bit he always got a montage of beating up some of his closest friends but you know if we start the
film and he's
just this is his
day to day now
he's just fighting
costume villains
I'm totally okay
with that
yeah awesome
so best movie ever
yeah sounds like
the best movie ever
definitely
yeah pretty great
cool alright well
we'll talk about that
more next week though
unless the trailer
doesn't come out
do you think
Mark Webb
directing Spider-Man is one of those Hollywood things where they
had all the potential directors laid out on a table?
Yeah.
Not the directors.
Yeah.
Maybe they just had the directors laid out on a table.
And they're like...
The actual directors.
Yeah, the actual directors.
Now they're thinking, why not?
It's Hollywood.
And they were just like, Mark Webb, that's funny.
Spiders make webs.
You know what?
We're idiots.
Let's give this 175 million dollars
you know
that has crossed my mind
I'm not going to say that that's completely
true because I'm probably going to
be used for it but sure why not
it's got to play a factor on it's got to play a part
on some subconscious
level yes
anyway yeah
whatever
now I thought we'd do a rating system for these uh
well we're getting into the alternative endings okay i'm ready cool with that yep i thought of
a rating system it's similar to our other one it's our world famous best movie ever worst movie
ever system that people love the rating system is better worse or what i love like what okay
great because some of these are pretty weird
so are you cool with that
yep
or just you know
well we don't have
a rating system
we forget it immediately
okay sounds good
we just ramble
we just ramble
we lose track
we'll be pretty great
okay excellent
now the first one
I've picked here
this is the reason
I actually decided
to do this one
or we decided
to do this for a topic
can I butt in
no
oh no
you sent me the email
you sent me the list
of movies
and you said
hey can you describe oh yeah list of movies, and you said, hey, can you describe movies?
Oh, yeah, that's right, sorry.
Whether you remember them or not.
Yeah.
I'm actually surprised you haven't done this earlier.
It's an entire podcast predicated on the fact
that I don't know anything about anything.
So I have to sling both your honesty and your ingenuity.
I don't know how it's going to turn out, but I'm ready.
Oh, awesome. Good, good. I don't know how it's going to turn out, but I'm ready. Oh, awesome.
Good, good.
I haven't done any research.
Why would you?
I think I even said specifically, don't watch any of these if you haven't seen them.
Great, here we go.
I'll just wing it.
Okay.
So the reason I started to do this because they released the Wolverine deleted scene.
I don't know if you saw this, but I'll talk about that in a minute.
But can you tell me, describe to the listeners what the ending to The Wolverine was?
Okay.
So Wolverine's in a silo of some sort, right?
He's in a silo.
I assume it's filled with wheat because that's what you put in a silo.
Okay.
So he's fighting a silver samurai robot.
Yep.
Filled with a Japanese man.
Spoilers for all of these, by the way.
Too late.
Spoilers for all of these by the way Too late
And then there's that woman
Who has weird
Poison slash
Centipede robot powers
She's there
And he fights her
And then he gets his claws chopped off
With a big hot knife
And then everything's fine
Yeah
And then he goes on a plane
Then he meets Future slash past slash present day
Professor X and Magneto.
You're absolutely right.
You've nailed it.
I didn't remember the silo thing at all.
Was that in a silo?
Probably was.
Was it a missile silo, maybe?
Doesn't matter.
Sure.
The ending here was that when they get on the plane,
Yukio, his Japanese friend, gives him a case and inside the case is the classic Wolverine costume.
The yellow one.
The yellow one.
The yellow one.
Have you seen this clip?
I think I've seen a still from it.
They didn't put it in for obvious reasons.
What obvious reasons?
Because it looked ridiculous?
Because you can imagine him putting
it over his face
and just people
laughing in the
cinema?
Just ruining all
the dramatic tension
they've built?
Is that why?
That's why.
That's what I've
got written here.
That's the obvious
reason.
No, it says it was
taped.
The director said
he took it out
because it wasn't
a good fit.
And apparently it
didn't test well
because people were
confused.
Because if you don't
know anything about
the Wolverine, your
only understanding of
him would be the
Hugh Jackman version.
Yeah, yeah.
He doesn't wear a mask ever. He doesn't wear a mask ever. Yeah. Sometimes he wears a leather
suit. Sometimes he wears a leather jacket.
Sometimes
he's Peter Allen. Sometimes he takes
advice from a kindly old couple in the woods
even though he's like a hundred
years older than them and would therefore
be wiser than them.
He'd have more wisdom than both of them
put together. But now we've got the age-old question.
Is age a sign of wisdom?
Yes.
There we go.
I've answered it.
There we go, listeners.
We did it again.
Profound.
He also said that it created expectations
for the next film
that he was going to be in the suit.
Yeah, and that would look ridiculous.
Would it look ridiculous, though,
back in the past, though?
First class era.
Absolutely not.
No, it would look quite good.
If you put him in a 1970s-ish kind of Wolver wool brand suit yeah sure why not at a play i think it's good
that they took it out i don't think it really serves any purpose it really would confuse people
it was nice to say it i guess yeah but you're right people would be like why what is the
significance of the yellow and he wouldn't wear that. No, exactly. Yeah.
Hmm.
Maybe if it were more samurai-ish.
Yeah.
And you'd think, oh, okay, it's symbolic of him being, you know, entering that culture and earning his place or whatever.
Yeah.
But just because it looks like...
Makes no sense.
The other thing is, it's very specific to him, because I looked at it closely.
She would have to get his measurements, and also it's got the slits on the gloves where his claws come out.
Uh-huh.
So, it was very specific to him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anyway, I don't know how she made that.
You're right, that is weird.
Yeah.
Anyway, whatever.
Better, worse, or what?
Worse.
Yeah.
Definitely worse.
Nice to see it.
Good little deleted scene.
But, um, good call.
Mm-hmm.
Next one.
Superman 2, 1980. You seen this one? Yes. Or is it not 1980 you seen this one yes it doesn't matter does it
the 80s yep good the 80s uh all i remember is he beats up zod and then he goes back to that
cabin or whatever it is that bar and he beats up all those guys that one guy that one guy just
puts him in a pie yeah okay oh okay. Oh, that's right.
Yeah.
Just when you're the most powerful man in the world, what's great is a vindictive streak.
And what he does is he gets in there and he...
Well, he has that in Man of Steel as well.
Yeah, I suppose.
I love that bit, actually.
Not so much the track, but you know the bit where the guy just shoves him and he's like
a wall, like he doesn't even move.
I was like, well, that's cool.
Anyway, sorry, go on.
Am I correct in that?
That's it.
That's pretty much the ending. Did I miss anything? Well, the cellophane S that he throws, you missed. Oh, yeah, that's a good point. I was like, well, that's cool. Anyway, sorry, go on. Am I correct in that? That's it. That's pretty much the ending.
Did I miss anything?
Well, the cellophane S that he throws, you missed.
Oh, yeah, that's a good point.
I'll just keep, sure.
And where he wipes Lois Lane's memory with a kiss.
Kiss, yeah, okay, that's good, yeah.
But none of that has to do with anything.
The deleted scene, and it's shown in one TV version.
US Polar Patrol is shown picking up the three Kryptonians.
A what thing?
A Polar Patrol.
Polar Patrol.
That's what it says. All right. It's shown picking up the three Kryptonians and A what thing? A polar patrol. A polar patrol. That's what it says.
All right.
Lex shown picking up the three Kryptonians
and Lex Luthor at the end of the film,
which means that they didn't die.
Right.
Which means he didn't kill them.
So isn't that interesting?
It is.
He didn't just throw them into a pit of nothingness.
Or Zod.
He didn't actually.
No, he only threw Zod.
Lois Lane pushed the woman.
Lois Lane is also a murderer
yeah
and the big guy
went to fly
and just fell
yeah okay
so but they're still alive
huh
and it also then ends with
oh because they got depowered
they got depowered
okay right
yeah so I guess you could
just lock them up
and then slap them
yeah yeah
that's true yeah
but it also
and then it also ends with
I'm okay with
what do you think of that bit
if they showed them being alive
yeah that makes sense
more in the
in a superhero movie in the 80s.
Yeah.
You're going to be fine.
Yeah.
It's A-Team style.
You know, hey, you alright?
I'm alright.
I'm fine.
Yeah.
That would make more sense.
It's weird that they did seemingly kill them.
Love is Slain, especially.
That's weird.
A lot of people reference that movie as well as why it's okay that Superman killed Zod.
Right, yeah.
Because they're like
well he did it in the 80s
but like he also
built a wall
with his eyes
in the 80s
a lot of stuff
was acceptable
in the 80s
yeah
anyway
I'm not going to
get into that
so you think it's better
is there more to that
there's a little bit more
the ending of this version
also is Superman
with Lois
standing behind him
and he destroys
the fortress of solitude
don't like that
why
why would you do that
why would he do that?
That's Iron Man 3 style.
I'll just destroy all my suits and then the Avengers show up and they're like, hey, we're
going on another mission.
And he's like, well.
I need a week.
Give me a week.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So yeah, that bit I don't like so much.
So we're going to say best for the first one.
Not best.
What was our rating again?
Better.
Better or worse.
I'm going to go
what?
Okay, yeah,
fair point.
I love it.
What an odd
combination.
Also,
where does this
TV version show up?
How did it end up
in the world?
Good question.
How did one TV
station get it?
It just said
in one TV version.
Sounds made up.
Well,
that's what they say.
What?
Apparently it's a
filmed scene
that's been filmed.
We know actually Brian he wanted Jude Law
if the Superman returns to play Zod.
Oh, yeah?
And when he didn't get him, he went,
nah, we're going to do Lex Luthor again.
Oh, right.
He would have been a good Zod.
I would have liked to see, if they did do that,
that Superman's got Zod in prison at the Fortress of Solitude.
Like, he's just been there the whole time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he's just gone crazy.
I would have liked that.
Yeah.
But then again, I also would have liked a good Superman movie, so...
That's fine.
Yep.
Okay, next one.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles from 1990.
The original Ninja Turtles film, which I would argue still holds up.
Go.
When you say that, when was the last time you watched it?
We watched it at Brian's house about eight years ago.
Huh.
Do you remember that?
Good old Brian.
I don't remember that.
Not Brian, Brendan.
No, I don't remember that.
Do you think that's important that I get that name right?
I think it is, yeah, for everybody listening, definitely.
Okay, so Shredder falls off the roof.
Yep.
Lands in the garbage truck.
Yep.
Casey Jones kills him.
Yeah.
He just crushes him. Well, supposedly kills him. He comes back, but yeah. Right, right, right. truck, Casey Jones kills him, just crushes him.
Well, supposedly kills him.
He comes back, but yeah.
Right, right, right.
For all intents and purposes, yeah.
He meant to kill him.
He goes, oops, and then he pulls the lever down quite dramatically on purpose.
And then Splinter says cowabunga, I think.
Doesn't he?
Yes, he does.
Makes it funny, yeah.
Okay, I remember that.
That's pretty much it.
Huh.
This ending comes after that.
A deleted epilogue shows April O'il Entering the offices Of a comic book publisher
To pitch the idea
Of a Ninja Turtles comic
But only to have it
Shot down for being
Too far fetched
Worse
Much worse
It's so meta
It is
Yeah
Oh no
Oh no
And they'd
They'd really
And it'd just be so
Smug
It's
Oh
And just so over
Oh
It doesn't That it'd never be so smug. It's, oh, just so over, oh,
it doesn't,
that'd never sell.
Oh,
you know.
Also,
what's she doing?
Why,
why does she need to make extra money?
That's a good point. On the side by going to a comic publisher.
She's a pretty successful reporter.
Yeah,
yeah.
And also,
no,
isn't,
isn't,
no,
it's not in that movie where everybody figures out that they're real,
is it?
Cause if it was like too far fetched,
and then she was like,
well,
they were on television,
they wrapped with vanilla ice that time.
That should have been the ending after too.
She goes in,
and he's like,
in your face,
vanilla ice wrapped with them.
Yeah.
So there was a,
a couple of years ago,
there was a animated sort of special
called Ninja Turtles Forever.
I've seen that,
or bits of it,
yeah.
Yeah,
where the 80s Ninja Turtles team up, the 80s animated Ninja Turtles Forever. I've seen that. Oh, bits of it, yeah. Yeah, where the 80s Ninja Turtles
team up,
the 80s animated Ninja Turtles
team up with the
modern day animated Ninja Turtles.
Not the modern modern,
like the 2003 modern.
The 2003 modern,
I'm so sorry.
And then in turn
they team up with
the original Mirage comics.
Yeah.
The black and white.
Yeah, the black and white
Ninja Turtles
to save the universe
from Shredder
yeah but at the end of that
we see them
being drawn
by the original creators
in the 80s I think
oh god
my brain
so it kind of worked
I guess
as a little tribute
it was fun
yeah I only watched
clips of that
I thought it was
a cool little
yeah it was a cool
little thing to do
but I wasn't really like
I'm not going to sit down
no don't sit down.
It's a hobbling, yeah.
Yeah.
If you go back to
those Ninja Turtles
cartoons from the
80s and 90s, they're
not very good.
Like, they're like
wow.
You know, you go back
to Batman and the
anime.
And that's when you
say by man he thinks
the 1990 Teenage
Ninja Turtles movie
really holds up.
I said it somewhat
holds up.
Okay, fine.
And by that I mean
it's the best movie
ever made.
Huh.
I wasn't allowed to say that movie when I was a kid.
Actually, no, I wasn't.
And I lost my mind.
I was like, how could you not want to see this?
I don't know, so it was probably on TV, I guess.
Wow.
Yeah.
And did they soften their stance?
Were they like, okay, since it's on TV, or did you sneak your way into it?
I think I just saw it on TV.
I think they didn't care at that point.
This is my parents, by the way.
You knew that was the story about my parents. Yes, exactly. But I got to see it too. I think they didn't care at that point. This is my parents, by the way. You knew I was talking about my parents.
Yes, exactly.
But I got to see two.
Not the schoolyard bully.
You're about to go to the cinema and he's like, nope, not happening.
Nerd.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Uh, yeah, okay.
I saw two at the cinema.
There's a bit of trivia for you.
It's pretty great.
Here's one.
Ah, best, or no, sorry, worse, right?
Yeah, worse.
Yeah, way worse.
Agree.
Way worse.
Here we go.
This is a good one. Empire Strikes Back. Uh- worse. Yeah, way worse. Agree. Way worse. Here we go. This is a good one.
Empire Strikes Back.
Not a comic book movie.
Yep.
There's at least one Star Wars comic.
Am I right?
Yeah, but it's pop culture.
That's fine.
No, I didn't.
They're actually doing a run of Star Wars at the moment.
They're using George Lucas' original screenplay, and they're making it in comic book form.
It's all different and changed, and Han Solo's a lizard man.
Oh, the original screenplay. The original, original. Who's publishing this? Dark Horse? I think it's... It must be Dark Horse. It must be different and changed and hence all those Lizard Man. Oh, the original screenplay.
The original,
original.
Who's publishing
this?
Dark Horse?
I think it must
be Dark Horse.
It must be,
yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
It's going to be
versus aliens.
It's going to be
great.
Yeah, okay.
All right.
Luke Skywalker
gets a bit of the
old choppy chop.
Yep.
Gets picked up
by the Millennium
Falcon.
Yep, that's how
you say it.
Yep.
Big revelations
happen prior to that. What's the revelation? It's the Luke and the Millennium Falcon. Yep, that's how you say it. Yep. Big revelations happen prior to that.
What's the revelation?
It's the Luke and Darth Vader and the father and the thing.
You're right.
Yeah, good.
And the Carbonite.
And the Carbonite.
Han Solo gets dropped in Carbonite.
These are out of order.
Or in order.
It doesn't matter.
You've somehow remembered the ending to the most popular movie of all time.
Yeah, right.
Pretty good, aren't they?
Pretty good, yeah.
It's easily the best Star Wars.
Am I right?
Yes. Definitely. Okay, right on. Pretty good, aren't they? Pretty good, yeah. It's easily the best Star Wars, am I right? Yes.
Definitely.
Okay, so there was
an alternative script,
an original unused draft,
which George Lucas
didn't particularly like.
Some of the elements are there,
but a lot of it's changed.
I'll tell you a bit
of the stuff that's changed
and I'll tell you
the new ending.
Lizard Man.
No Lizard Man.
Oh.
So this was after
the success of Star Wars.
Okay, right.
So you're coming off
the back of that.
Uh-huh.
The ending itself
isn't that interesting,
but I find the other stuff that was changed interesting.
So originally Luke was not Vader's son.
Lando was a clone left over from the Clone Wars.
Okay.
And it includes a Luke and Leia love scene.
Oh boy.
Okay, I enjoy the fact that
if any of that were true
in Attack of the Clones, they'd
all be Lando Calrissian.
That would be great.
They'd all be Billy Dee Williams.
Yes.
That would be pretty incredible.
Yeah.
So, better, based solely on that.
Yep.
Look at Leia love scene.
I think that thing in Return of the Jedi was added pretty late in the game.
Because it's not hinted at at all that they're brother and sister.
Yeah, I think...
And it was supposed to be that they were going to bring in a new character.
Yeah.
And that was going to be his sister.
Because Yoda's like, you know, there is another Skywalker.
Oh, I see.
And everyone's like, who's the other Skywalker?
And they're like, oh, it's Leia, don't worry about it.
Yeah, okay.
And that's kind of...
Well, see, you can't really win either way there.
Because if you just introduced another character and said, by the way, that's your sister.
We haven't seen her for the previous two movies, but that's her.
She's the best Jedi ever also.
Then people would be like, well, that's her she's the best Jedi ever also then people will be like
well that's ridiculous
why would you
yeah
well George Lucas was originally
just going to keep making sequels though
oh I see right
and then he just went
nah that happened
okay well I see that now
yeah
yeah I guess
the Luke-Leia thing
the brother and sister thing
that was added very late in the game
yep
is that because Han Solo
became sort of the breakout more popular character than Luke? possibly yeah they were like well we need to give him a
a love interest yeah let's just switch some stuff out here i think it's good the way they do that
because and like you'd think looking at the first one that she'd end up with luke uh-huh and i'm
glad they didn't do it that way though but they went you know what she wouldn't end up with luke
she'd go with this super fucking cool guy yeah yeah yeah so yeah
anyway
but the actual
ending was though
that um
that also
those changes
side note
Luke and Leia
did they do it or not
yeah well there's a
love scene
it's a love scene
no but I mean
in the existing
do you reckon
they did it
do you reckon
they did it mate
definitely
yeah better
yeah
gross gross but hot mostly mostly no mostly gross mate. Definitely. Yeah, better, yeah, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Gross.
Gross.
But hot.
Mostly.
Mostly.
No,
mostly gross.
I think I just freaked someone out
just listening to that.
Anyway,
yeah,
I don't like those.
I'm glad they changed
that stuff.
Except for Lando's
clone thing,
but like Luke not
being Vader's son,
that's an interesting
He's got the tweedly
moustache.
Yeah.
All the clones
have the moustache.
So gross.
But like the Vader's son thing, I'm glad they changed that. tweedly moustache. Yeah. All the clones have the moustache. So great. But the Vader's son
thing I'm glad they
changed that.
I think that makes
it more interesting.
Anyway the original
ending is pretty much
the same except Luke
doesn't lose his hand
which is less
interesting and
everyone including
Han gets away.
So that's way less
interesting right?
What a cliffhanger
that movie is.
Yeah.
And the few sequels
have actually managed
to replicate because
a lot of sequels try
to do the Han Solo
kind of cliffhanger ending.
Second Pirates of the Caribbean
movie does it
where like Johnny Depp
steps inside the Kraken
and he disappears.
And it's supposed to be like
will Captain Jack be back?
Yeah, of course he will
because he's the main character
or whatever.
Or the most popular character.
Han Solo,
I think Harrison Ford
wasn't actually originally
signed up to do
Return of the Jedi.
So they were like we we'll freeze him.
And then the next one, they were like, no, he's dead.
Don't worry about it.
Look, the freezing process didn't really take.
He's so dead.
We said it did, but it didn't.
Yeah, it's just a real block.
Hey, have you ever told your Han Solo story on the internet?
Your Harrison Ford story?
I think I have, but that was probably a long time ago.
Please recap.
Okay, sure.
It delights me.
Okay, I actually heard this from the guy who plays Spartacus.
You know, Liam McIntyre.
I used to know him a bit.
Yeah.
He used to work at a cinema near me.
He's a super cool dude, that guy, by the way.
Have you met him?
No, maybe.
You probably have.
Great guy, Liam McIntyre.
I have very little memory for Hollywood superstars that I meet, so maybe I didn't.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Anyway, he used to manage a cinema.
Uh-huh.
Not actually that long ago.
Anyway, they had the...
I think the movie was Firewall.
Oh, sure.
Harrison Ford's Firewall.
And then Harrison Ford came out to promote it.
And anyway, Harrison Ford is notorious for hating Star Wars and not wanting to talk about
Star Wars and being a grumpy prick.
Like, generally, right?
I like him, but he is a grumpy prick.
Yeah. But of course he's going to be. and being a grumpy prick. Like, generally, right? I like him, but he is a grumpy prick.
But of course he's going to be.
You do a movie 30 years ago,
and every day someone's like,
hey, what do you think about Han Solo?
Do you think he'll ever be Han Solo again?
Yeah.
What do you think Han Solo's doing now?
Do you think he's tending his space garden?
I think he is.
I've made some drawings.
Here they are.
Do they let you keep the vest?
Yeah.
Anyway, so basically, there was a guy who was there, who was waiting to see Harrison Ford.
And he was in a wheelchair.
And he was waiting there all day.
Yeah, I know, right? He was waiting there all day.
And he had with him a statue that he'd made.
A Han Solo statue. waiting there all day um and he had with him a statue that he'd made a hand solo statue and
i assume everyone was like i hope this goes well yeah like you know because like so harrison ford
turns up and he sees this guy and he goes over and he and he like bends down in front of him
and he's like hey man what's happening like that's amazing what you've made here and the guy also had
a scrapbook and harrison ford sat down with him and they flicked through the scrapbook
together and he showed him the whole process of how he made and harrison ford's sitting there like
oh that's great look at this that's incredible anyways at the end he turns to him um he turns
to him and goes you know what this whole thing you've done it was all worth it good on you and
the guy like just burst into tears it's like the best story
that's the best story ever because there's a lot of tension in it because you don't know which way
that's gonna go he could have just just smashed that over the guy's head just smashed that statue
so there's stuff like that that makes me think a lot of the stuff in hollywood like usually when
hollywood people snap or gr, it's normally at publicity people
or people being interviewed.
But I think, like, regular people on the street, for the most part, I think actors in general
would be pretty thankful, I'd imagine.
I would imagine so, yeah.
And have a lot of time.
I mean, maybe, or maybe it's just Harrison Ford.
But that really surprised me.
Not that I thought he was a prick, but since I heard that, I'm like, that's fucking awesome.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, yeah, there you go.
There's my third-hand Harrison Ford story.
That's pretty good.
That I heard from
Liam McIntyre superstar
although
potentially six days a week
he murders someone
who mentions Star Wars
and it's just covered up
because he's rich
we don't know
he covers it up
with his fireball money
you know
he sure does
yeah
but anyway
that ending
better or worse
or neither
or what
worse
yeah I agree
worse
yeah
good call will you rise with the sun Worse or neither. Or what? Worse. Yeah, I agree. Worse. Yeah. Good call.
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All right. Blade. Next one's Blade from 1998. Yep. What's happened at the end of Blade, Mason?
He hits him with all the injecty thingies, and then he blows...
Hits who with who?
Stephen Dorff.
Stephen Dorff hits...
No, Wesley Snipes, Blade.
Brackets Blade.
Hits Stephen Dorff, Deacon Frost.
Yeah.
I remember his name.
Yep.
With all the injecty thingies, with the injecty serum that...
The poison blood or whatever. That Chris Christopherson made. Yep. And he blows up like a puffer name. Yep. With all the injecty thingies, with the injecty serum. The poison blood or whatever.
That Chris Christopherson made.
Yep.
And he blows up like a puffer fish.
Yep.
And then he explodes, I think.
Yeah, absolutely right.
And then, Blade goes to Russia.
You remember that?
Yeah, he goes to Russia.
I don't remember that at all.
I think that might be the post-credits sequence.
But he's like, hey, do svidaniya vampires comrades
what a great movie
Brian
pretty great
it was good
I don't really remember
it to be honest
I think I mean
Blade is to thank
be thanked for a lot
for kicking off the
comic book movie genre
definitely
because then
people say it was
X-Men
some people say it was
Spider-Man
but it was actually
the Captain America
movie from the early 90s
yeah it sure was
yeah so this is the
actual ending though
not the actual ending
sorry
this is the initial one
so uh
Dorf
instead of
being kicked with all those things
or maybe he does that happen
he then becomes
a sort of
a blood monster
whirlwind CGI
blood monster
with Steven Dorf's face
worse already
worse
I've actually seen this
and then
that blood monster
you've seen this I think it was on the DVD right which I definitely this. And then that blood monster... You've seen this.
I think it was on the DVD.
Right.
Which I definitely own.
Yeah.
And the blood monster tornado eventually succumbs to the poison and gets stabbed by a blade.
How do you stab a tornado?
Well, he stabs it with like a big swizzle stick.
Like one you'd use to swizzle a martini.
He just sort of swooshes it around in there.
It's a real big one.
So he gets a really big Q-tip. He gets it in there and he soaks it all in.
What year did this movie come out?
1998.
That was not a good year for CGI.
No, it wasn't.
You cannot, there's nothing worse, actually there's one thing worse than a CGI final battle,
an all CGI final battle, and that's an all-CGI final battle in the 90s.
Because they could not do it.
No.
And the thing was, though, people were under the impression at the time that, oh, CGI can
do anything.
Like, you can do anything, yes.
But this does not look good.
No.
Like, you can make whatever you want.
Have you ever seen Lost in Space?
I quite like Lost in Space.
There's a CGI monkey in it.
Don't remember that.
Like, an alien monkey.
And it looks literally like a hand-drawn cartoon.
Like, it's amazing.
It looks like something that fell out of Roger Rabbit.
Wow.
It's the worst thing ever.
But anyway, what do you think of the vampire tornado?
Worst, worst, most worst.
Why would you?
I'm going to say what.
Okay, good, yeah.
Yeah, blood tornado.
That's a really good point, yeah.
This next one's a short one.
This one's from Thor 2011.
Ooh.
What happens at the end of Thor?
Thor?
Yep.
Rainbow Bridge, they break the Rainbow Bridge.
Yep.
Loki flies out into deep space.
Yep.
That's it.
And Thor gets trapped.
Oh, right.
On Asgard.
Because the Rainbow Bridge is...
Rainbow Bridge?
It's Rainbow Bridges.
It's Rainbow Bridges.
Got all kinds of tears in them.
Still in the wash.
Yeah.
But, um, so basically what happens after that in this scene, it's actually quite a nice
scene, but it's Jane Foster sets up a beacon to help Thor find Earth again.
Oh.
But you know what though?
Yes.
It is a nice scene, but it makes sense they cut it out because he knows where Earth is.
Yeah, he does, doesn't he?
He's not coming back.
It's clearly because something has gone wrong.
Right.
Or he's dead.
Oh, yeah.
Like, but he knows where earth is
so it's kind of pointless
yeah
worse
yep
I agree
yeah
I think it's a nice little
deleted scene but worse
okay I've got a few
Terminator ones coming up
do you think
a lot of these
are going to result
in us saying
that alternate ending
was better
surely not
I've got at least
one here
that is better
maybe two okay good depending okay roll the dice here we go alternate ending was better? Surely not. I've got at least one here that is better. Alright.
Maybe two.
Okay, good.
Depending.
Okay.
Roll the dice.
Here we go.
This one is for Terminator 1
from 1984.
What happened at the end
of Terminator 1 in 1984?
Yeah.
Also, I think it should have
been called Terminator 1
from the start.
I think that makes it
a better film.
Well, if I say the Terminator
people get confused.
They do, yeah.
You know? Anyway, so go on. Okay, so she crush The Terminator, people get confused. They do, yeah. You know?
Anyway, so go on.
Okay, so she crushes The Terminator in the press, right?
She does.
Yep.
She goes, you're fucking terminated.
No, she doesn't.
She does, but in the TV.
Something like that.
She does swear.
Or she says, you're terminated, fucker.
Or something like that.
In the TV version, they took it out.
So for years, I didn't know that.
Because I just said a VHS copy.
You didn't think there was any bad language in that film?
Or any adult themes at all?
I didn't think there was any bad language in that film or any adult themes at all. I didn't think there was any bad language in the world.
Wow.
Oh, how times have changed, eh?
They sure have.
Yeah.
Yeah?
And then that's the ending and then she goes to hospital and Reese is dead.
Kyle Reese.
Yep.
Anyway, the scene is, and I've seen this, I saw this years ago.
You may have seen it as well.
The factory that Sarah Connor destroys the Terminator in is revealed to be Skynet. Doesn't make
any sense. But it does, because they have the arm in Terminator 2, and it's Skynet.
Because that's why they have the arm, that's why they get the technology, because they
find the arm in the chip. Right, right, right, right, right. I think it adds. But it's so,
it's a, it's a, it's Sk it's Skynet yeah is the not Cyberdyne
maybe it was Cyberdyne
okay right
that makes more sense
yeah sorry
okay right
it doesn't make any sense
yeah
alright so it's not
I'm an idiot
yeah it's not the
it's not the Skynet
no
or the native plant
or something like that
no
okay
sorry
I fucked that up
you sure did
yeah
start again
stop and start
Sarah Connor
yep
no
sorry
I'm ambivalent okay cool I've added yep no sorry I'm ambivalent
okay cool
I've added a fourth option
I'm ambivalent
to that
it's fine
I'm gonna say it's better
I'm not even even better
I think it would have
added something
I think it's one of those things
yeah you're right
it could have gone in
or not gone in
yeah
and then that's fine
either way
it's like some of those
in Terminator 2
and we'll probably get to
Terminator 2 in a second
there are a lot of
the effects are still amazing and they still hold up aren't they but when you watch that director get to Terminator 2 in a second there are a lot of the effects are still amazing
and they still hold up
aren't they?
but when you watch that director's cut
they've put in a couple of old
effects shots
and you really
there was no reason
to put those back in
no
like there's a scene I think
where right at the end
where the T-1000's pretending
to be Sarah Connor
yeah
and John Connor looks down
to see that her feet
are sort of welded
into the ground
they're all melty
but she's clearly just got boots on that have been painted to look
like a gantry.
Well, the funny thing about that movie is, not funny, because it's not really funny.
It better be funny.
You've set the bar now.
That Terminator 2 in particular, which we'll talk about just now, a lot of those effects
are practical.
Yeah.
A lot of that stuff with the T-1000 where his head gets split apart, and you know how
he gets hit with a crowbar and he splits?
Yeah, and his arm gets split.
That's like a suit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, there's a whole lot of stuff like that which is actually practical.
I just thought that was incredible.
The bit where he's frozen in the liquid nitrogen, and his legs come off.
Guy without a leg.
Isn't that amazing?
That is amazing.
Yeah.
And good that a guy without a leg can get some work.
That's hard.
That's true.
Yeah.
What was I going to say?
Yeah, that's great.
You know what?
The part where he walks through the prison bars, actual guy with heaps of holes in his
body.
You can just walk through prison bars.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a good thing he's a good man.
It sure is.
He could rob some places.
He's the best man.
But yeah, I think that's great.
I think that's James Cameron at that point.
He knew the limitations of CGI and used it sparingly. Yeah. Which is great. And people should still learn from that yeah, I think that's great. I think that's James Cameron at that point. He knew the limitations of
CGI and used it
sparingly.
Yeah.
Which is great.
And people should
still learn from
that today, I think.
Yes.
That's why that
movie looks better
than the monkey in
Lost in Space.
It looks his face.
Exactly, yeah.
Yeah.
Anyway, there's
another ending to
Terminator 2, which
nullifies Terminator
3 and 4.
Is that?
Because I've read
the novelisation.
Oh, what's the
ending of Terminator
2?
Oh, the, um,
everybody's driving down the highway.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And she has the monologue about fate is what we make.
Yeah.
In the book, in the novelization, which I've read, which is probably Alan Dean Foster,
who knows, or Craig Shaw Gardner.
It's one of those.
They've got three names and they just do movie adaptations.
She wakes up in the future.
Yeah.
And she's all in like white robes and such. And she's all, oh, I'm just living out in the future, the future's great, and she's got
grandkids and stuff.
Okay, well that's actually similar to this.
So the ending is, and I remember I stayed up late on TV because they were like, we're
going to show you the Terminator 2 ending that never was, and then they showed a Terminator
skull, and I'm like, this is going to blow everyone's mind, and this is what it is.
Yeah, right.
And it's incredibly disappointing.
Oh.
Okay.
Following the fight at the Terminator, no, that's a different one.
I'm reading from Terminator 4, so we'll get to that.
Yep.
Skipping right over Terminator 3.
Not an alternate ending worthy of our examination.
Interesting.
It flashed forwards to August 29th, 2029.
Sarah Connor is a grandmother and John
Connor is a senator and as Sarah sits
in a playground filled with children, her
voiceover reveals that they successfully
prevented the Skynet revolution.
Hooray! That's kind of what I
was... Yeah.
I don't...
I don't know. I'm torn. I kind of...
I mean, it would have capped off the movies.
Yeah. I kind of like a happy ending sometimes.
Sure.
But...
I think I'm just bitter because I stayed up late to watch that one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Did that actually...
Is that actually...
That's film.
You can find that.
Never seen it?
Okay.
I should check that out.
Yeah.
A lot of these are films.
I do like the happy ending, but I do kind of like the ambivalence of the ending of the
original Terminator 2 where, well, maybe it's going
to happen again.
We don't know.
Yeah, we don't know.
Well, I love that.
They're like, and at the end of Terminator 2, they're like, fate is what you make of
it.
You make your own fate.
And then at 3, in Terminator 3, they're like, nah.
Nah.
Inevitable.
How do you like that, idiot?
I feel that that was kind of a, I think what they were going for, maybe, at least in the script for Terminator 3, was that it's not that the evolution of Skynet is inevitable and it cannot be stopped in any way, but more that it's now an ongoing time war.
And it keeps going and going and going.
And Skynet and the Resistance keep sending people back in time.
Yeah.
Now that this time travel technology has been developed,
it's going to keep happening in different ways.
Yeah.
And so in Terminator 3, it just happened to be
that they go back and attempt to kill all these lieutenants
and then it winds up they're trapped in a bunker
and then it goes to Terminator Salvation or whatever.
I like that.
But they could go back in time and do it again
and it would end up in a different way.
Different future.
But I think what has happened,
in order to
streamline it or whatever, they've just said, hey,
Skynet's back and you
can't stop it. We're going to keep doing this.
Yeah. Let's see, people would have been confused by
alternative realities and multiple futures
and whatever, whatever.
I am going to skip over Terminator 3.
You're right.
Terminator 2 is such a good movie.
It really holds up. Okay, Terminator Salvation. Do you remember the ending of the abysmal Terminator 2 is such a good movie. Yeah. It really holds up.
Okay, Terminator Salvation.
Do you remember the ending
of the abysmal Terminator Salvation?
Boy, do I.
Okay, so what happens is
at the end of Terminator Salvation
it turns out
that Skynet's entire plan
from the start
was to lure John Connor
into that factory
so they could kill him.
But when he get that,
when he gets in there,
they're pretty much,
Skynet's pretty much unprepared for that.
Like what,
in an ideal universe,
if they had a proper plan,
there would have been like,
they would have tricked John Connor.
John Connor would have been like,
the secret's in this factory.
And he would have gone into the factory and it was just filled with dynamite,
like floor to ceiling dynamite.
And they, and they just fill it with poison gas and then like pile on all the terminators on him
just so he can't escape and then they blow up the factory yeah but they didn't they sent one
terminator one terminator because apparently skynet despite being a emotionless artificial
intelligence is like an idiot an idiot and like weirdly like it's in the poetic justice
of some sort
yeah
like well
send Arnold Schwarzenegger
yeah no just the one
there's so many dumb moments
in that movie
yeah
and I was excited for that movie
because I was trying
where he jumps out of a plane
yes
and he hits the water
and then all of a sudden
he's in a submarine
and it's a storm
yeah
like the ocean is rolling
like that movie
where the boat goes really high
and then flips
yeah
boat flip boat flip yeah and then flips. Yeah. Boat flip?
Boat flip.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then he's just in the submarine.
They're like, you're a reckless loser, John Connor.
Yeah.
And you know, the whole movie as well, people are like, John Connor's the one who's prophesied
to lead the resistance.
Nobody knows that except John Connor.
Right.
So the only reason that that would be a rumor is because he started it.
He started that rumor.
What an asshole.
I've got another thing to say.
Yes. Anton Yelchin, who's a great actor. Yelchin. He's that rumor. What an asshole. I've got another thing to say. Yes.
Anton Yelchin, who's a great actor.
Yelchin.
Yelchon.
He's in Fright Night, that Fright Night remake, which is actually pretty good.
I actually think it's better than the original Fright Night.
Y'all fucking say it.
Wow.
The original Fright Night is not good.
Okay.
He's Kyle Reese.
And there's a point where the Terminator, like a Terminator drone sees him and recognizes
him and goes, this is Kyle Reese.
Right.
And then they go up and they're like...
The father of John Connor.
The father of John Connor.
And so, like, why does the Terminator know that?
Yeah.
But also, if they do know that, why wouldn't they just kill him?
Why wouldn't they just kill him?
Yeah.
Exactly.
It's nonsense.
God, I hate that movie.
Anyway, the ending.
Yep.
But I do love the Christian Bale flip out.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Every time I listen to that, I haven't listened to it a lot recently, but any time I do, I
develop a new favourite part of that.
I like the scuffling bit, where he's clearly trying to scuffle to get this guy.
Initially, my favourite part was where he was like, McGee!
Like, because he was clearly trying to get the director involved. McGee nearly did part was where he was like McGee like because he was
clearly trying to get
the director
like involved
McGee nearly did Superman
as well so I go on
McGee
right but so that was
my favourite part
but then later on
later period
me listening to this
my favourite part
has become the bit
where he's like
right because you can't
it's audio only
but
you can see him
sort of flouncing about like waving
his arm side to side as he prances about i think you said this to me as well do you think he made
the conscious decision to get really angry in his american accent yes just to see how he could do it
yeah because he's british yeah welsh well i'll show you right yeah well welsh is part of britain
isn't it yeah exactly the country's called welsh isn't it? Uh-huh, yeah. I knew it.
Okay, so the original ending, or one of the endings was, sorry, was the script called
for John Connor to die from his wounds.
Uh-huh.
Because remember he gets stabbed through the heart?
Yes.
Everybody gets hit in the heart in that movie as well.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's a bit where the Terminator sees, um, the, is fighting the human Terminator guy.
What's his name?
Marcus something.
Played by Sam Worthington.
Sam Worthington.
And it zooms in on him
and it goes
and it goes
and it detects his heart
and you see it's heart
his heart
and it goes
oh weakness detected
right right
and then it punches him
in the heart
and stops his heart
but anyway at the end
John Connor gets
a heart transplant
from Sam Worthington
from Sam Worthington
who's been punched
in the heart
so it's just
a jelly heart yeah and apparently you can just do a heart punched in the heart. Who's been punched in the heart. So just a jelly heart.
Yeah.
And apparently you can just do a heart surgery to fix that.
What they probably just did.
On a battlefield.
What they probably just did is they cut Sam Worthington open and they just stuck a tube
in there and the liquid remnants of his heart, they just poured into Christian Bale's chest.
And on the subject of Fright Night, because you mentioned Fright Night, Anton Yelchin
in Fright Night.
Yeah.
Here's my favourite Fright Night fact.
Go.
So Fright Night was the remake of the one from the 80s.
Yeah.
And I watched that in preparation for watching it.
We watched it together.
Yeah, in preparation for watching the new one.
Yeah.
And I'm like, oh, there's a character in it, and his name's Evil Eddie, and he's like
the annoying sidekick of the main character.
And I'm like, that's fascinating.
There's always, in the 80s, movies in the 80s, there's always, like, an annoying side character.
I wonder what kind of career, like, an annoying side character has.
Like, does he become the annoying side character in, like, a series of movies?
Does he grow up and become a serious actor?
Like, he's been in stuff we know.
So, anyway, I am DB'd him, and I've got it here.
I just looked it up.
So, after Fright Night, like, he's done a couple more horror films.
Good.
So after Fright Night, he's done a couple more horror films.
Good.
And then in 95, he did Mechanics by Day, Lube Job by Night.
Wait a minute.
Then he did Virtual Stud.
He did Just 18 and Gay, Latin Crotch Rockets, Punk Hotel, Leather After Midnight, Transsexual Prostitutes, Motel Sex, Cockpit, Manhunt, Transsexual Prostitutes Motel Sex Cockpit Man Hunt
Transsexual Prostitutes 2
So that first one was quite
Warranted a sequel
Yeah Buff and Gay
Black Men White Men
Bus Blazer
Uncut Glory
Leather Buddies
Which sounds quite nice
They're really creative these days
I remember that
Leather Virgin
Private Temptations Halfway House Hunks, Gay Men in Uniform, Guys Who
Crave Big Cocks, which is, that's a bit, it's a bit much, quite frankly.
In 2002.
It's a little tasteless.
Yeah, in 2002, Semen Training Day.
What's that?
And then he's back in regular movies.
I don't know how he did that.
But that's amazing, right?
That is amazing.
Oh my God.
That's a lot of gay porn.
That sure is.
But good on him.
Good on him.
Good for finding his niche.
Exactly, yeah.
If that's what you want to do, good on him, man.
Good on him.
He's annoying in that movie, though.
Yeah.
I wonder how much gay porn Anthony Elchin's going to do.
He's pretty.
He's so pretty.
Have you seen the movie where it's about how he has the long-distance relation with a girl?
Is it Butt Blazer?
It's Butt Blazer, yeah.
I don't know what it's called.
Oh, it's great, though.
It's really good.
It's really moving.
I'll say it.
Charlie Bartlett is good in that, too.
I haven't seen it.
Robert Downey Jr. is in it.
And Kat Dennings.
You love Kat Dennings.
I do, yeah.
Okay.
So the ending was going to be that Marcus takes the place of John Connor as the resistance leader and just says, I'm John Connor because nobody knows what John Connor looks like.
So there you go.
Great.
Was that worth all that talk?
Salvation?
Yeah.
I think worse.
Yeah.
It doesn't really matter
it doesn't matter
exactly
you know what though
at least it's creative
future John Connor
it's irrelevant
because he never goes back in time
so it doesn't
no
he should though
what a prick
yeah
sending everybody else
sends his dad
I guess he had to
yeah yeah
so that's that
done
great
okay
wait
what
yeah
there we go
I'm gonna say
Ambivalent
because you're rated I should have said Ambivalent but it's too late now I got another we go, yeah. I'm going to say Ambivalent.
Okay. Because you're right.
I should have said Ambivalent, but it's too late now.
I've got another X-Men film here.
I'm ready.
X-Men The Last Stand.
Yeah.
This is boring, but I feel like I had to include it because it's a comic book movie.
Right.
Okay.
Do you remember the original ending of X-Men The Last Stand?
Oh, they move the bridge?
Yep.
There's a fight?
Yep.
Someone yells, Jin!
Oh, yeah.
That's right.
Yeah.
That's always good That's pretty great
And then
Magneto gets
Demutantised
Yes
And then
And so does Rogue
Oh yeah
And then
Wolverine
Chops up Jean Grey
Jean
He sure does
Yeah
You remember that
Pretty much spot on
And then there's also
a scene where you see
Magneto starting to get
his powers back
he gets his powers back
yeah
which apparently he does
because
well because it does
in future past
so this ending
had a new year
starting at the
X-Men school
with Beast in charge
so because you know
Professor X was
obliterated
yeah he exploded
Professor X
I think the term
is you used was Professor X yeah he called Professor. Yeah, he exploded. Professor X, I think the term is you used,
was Professor X.
Yeah, you've got Professor X.
Like you wouldn't believe.
Where he gets removed from every movie.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Where was I?
Rogue returns back to campus with full powers
and Logan Wolverine, slash Wolverine,
returns to Canada
and then he's having a beer in the original film's bar.
Remember the original movie?
Oh, vaguely.
And then the guys come at him and they're like,
we know you're a guy that's different.
We don't care for that.
Where we are from in this vague area,
we won't actually say what state it is.
Because that would be derogatory towards that state.
So, yeah.
Better, worse, ambivalent.
What is it?
That would be better.
I think it's worse
because
I like the fact
that they kind of
left it open to
does the powers come back?
Right, yeah, yeah.
And then they're just like
no, they do.
Okay, yeah,
that's a good point actually.
Yeah, alright.
Worse, you're right.
I am right.
Next one,
I Am Legend.
Again, not a comic book movie
but it's based on a book and book and comic book they're similar aren't they they are similar words certainly one
has one less word in it yeah that's book yeah and as as we've taught previously books are for nerds
so but this is a novella which is not quite a book no but you can knock it off in an afternoon
and you're not a nerd that's a great book book, actually. It is. I read that in preparation for I Am Legend. They're very, very different.
Yeah.
And the book is infinite.
That annoys me.
Because I Am Legend has been filmed before this.
Has it?
Like, it was filmed as The Last Man on Earth with Vincent Price.
You're right.
And it was The Omega Man with Charlton Heston.
Yeah.
But in both cases, they changed it a lot.
But they also changed the name.
And in this one, old mate Will Smith decided that this was going to be the definitive version,
so why change the name?
Yeah.
But changed everything else.
Yeah.
Which is incredibly annoying.
Yeah.
And it was terrible.
And it was...
You know, I didn't think it was that bad.
Actually, the guy who made that did Hunger Games.
New Hunger Games.
Well, he's improved a lot then, hasn't he?
Sure, he certainly has.
Because Iron Legend was terrible.
You know, there's a few things that let down that movie. Namely, the CGI vampires.
And they are vampires as well.
That's one thing they never specify.
They're vampires.
In the book, they are.
In the book, they're vampires, yeah.
They're very definitively vampires.
And they retain their intelligence.
They retain their old memories.
Some do.
Some do.
Yeah.
Great book.
If you haven't read it, absolutely read it.
Let's not spoil that.
No, let's not. Go and read Iron Legend. No, we haven't spoiled it because we know the vampire's going. Okay, great. Yeah, Yeah. Great book. If you haven't read it, absolutely read it. Yeah. And also, the reason I... Let's not spoil that. No, let's not.
Go and read Iron Legend.
No, we haven't spoiled it, because we know the vampire's going in.
Okay, great.
Yeah, we know the vampire's going in.
But, um, what was I going to say?
Oh, I'm assuming there's some kind of terrible prequel comic.
I would hope, yeah, definitely.
Oh, I bet there is.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Now, in the original ending, do you remember what happens?
In the original...
Oh, and also, that annoys me.
Because, without spoiling
anything in the book,
the reason it's called
I Am Legend
is there's a line
in the dialogue
where somebody says
the words,
I am legend.
Yeah.
Which never happens
in the movie.
No.
Somebody says,
he was a legend.
Yeah.
Right?
So that movie
should have been called
He's a Bit of a Bloody Legend,
isn't he?
That's what they
should have called it.
That would have been...
I probably would have
watched that.
Had they...
Just change the name
a little bit
and it makes so much
sense when it says
Iron Legend
you go oh that makes
total sense
yeah yeah
it ties everything up
that was great
what a great book
okay so
and it's from like
the 50s
yeah
and nothing good
happened in the 50s
I know right
there's just that thing
yeah
sorry go on
the Red Menace
and that book
both great things
so in Iron Legend
they're trapped
in a lab
of some sort
yep
and then
the love interest
escapes
yep
with a
there's a little girl
maybe
what happens to Will Smith
he blows himself up
he explodes
yeah
he just explodes
with fame
fame and self importance
he explodes into a blood tornado
oh yeah that's right with Stephen Dorff's face oh boy wonderful explodes with fame. Fame itself and porn He explodes into a blood tornado.
Oh yeah,
that's right.
With Stephen Dorff's face.
Oh boy.
Wonderful.
So he explodes
and with all
the vampire
creatures,
what are they
called?
Dark Seekers.
They're called
Dark Seekers
or something.
Sure,
why not?
And he blows
them up.
Yep.
And then the
He's got the
cure.
She gets the
cure.
The cure
and she goes
to the
secret
place. And she goes to the secret place.
And she goes,
he's a bit of a
bloody legend.
He's a bit of a
bloody legend that
guy.
And then he saves
the universe.
Okay, this ending
is better.
And I'll tell you
what the ending is
and I'm going to
explain why.
Okay.
The alpha male,
you know the alpha
male that's after him.
Yep.
The CGI looking
alpha male.
Him and Neville
share the realisation.
Neville.
That's his name.
Yeah.
What's up with
1950s and 40s?
Yeah.
They kept that. Yeah. Should have changed the name. Well, Smith does not look like a Neville. the realisation. Neville. That's his name. What's up with 1950s and 40s? Yeah, I know. They kept that.
Yeah.
Should have changed the name.
They said he'd call him like...
Will Smith does not look like a Neville.
No, he doesn't.
He looks like a Nev.
No, he doesn't.
No, he doesn't.
He looks like a Nev Campbell.
Or is it Nev Campbell?
It's Nev now.
Cool.
So, in the original ending, which is filmed as well, I've seen this, the alpha male, the
head of the vampire dark men, and Neville share the realisation...
Neville.
The alpha male, the head of the vampire dark men, and Neville share the realisation that the woman vampire that he kidnapped, that he was testing on, is that head vampire's
kind of girlfriend.
And that's why he's coming after Neville.
I don't want to say that exact word, girlfriend.
We're hanging out, we're spending some time together, know I don't want to put labels on things you know
we're just taking it
one day at a time
and just seeing where it goes
yeah
I don't
I'm going to be busy
for the next couple
I've got work and stuff
I'm pretty
I mean
if I don't answer my phone
it's because I'm at work
but I'll call you
I'll call you very soon
definitely
anyway I'm sorry
it's about that
you nailed that voice as well it's good but
it just sounds um yeah so they share the realization that net that and neville gives him back he goes
oh this is your girlfriend right and he gives him back and they leave so it's not an explosive
finale will smith lives and then they go off together with the cure right so and that's the
reason why that vampire is targeting him specifically. Because there's a bit where it sets a trap for him.
Yep.
Twice.
The noose where he gets hung upside down.
There's the bit where they ambush him at the dock.
Yep.
And there's the bit where when he first captures that vampette.
Yes.
Your word.
The vampire steps into the sun.
Yep.
And he goes, I've never seen that happen before.
Right, right, right. They must be getting stupider. Yeah. But the reason it steps into the sun is because he goes yeah and he goes I've never seen that happen before right right right
they must be getting
stupider
yeah
but the reason it
steps into the sun
because it takes
his girlfriend
so all those things
happen
yep
and then he runs
at them with a
grenade
which makes no sense
yeah it makes no sense
and it's a bit mean
yeah
when you think about it
so I think that
makes that movie
infinitely better
but still not very good
okay I'll be like
better but not very good
fair point
yeah
it's better but I don't care.
Also, it turns out that he is legend.
He is a real bloody legend, you know?
This one...
What a champ.
What a champ.
He should have been called he was a bloody legend, colon, what a champ.
This one, this is probably one of my favourite ones.
Yep.
It's from Batman 1989.
Okay.
I'm familiar with Batman 1989. I know you are. Did you see's from Batman 1989. Okay. I'm familiar with
Batman 1989.
I know you are.
Did you see that
in the cinema?
Yes.
I didn't.
Again, too dark.
I was too young.
I remember seeing
that because I would
always watch the
1960s Batman TV show
and it was fun but
I'm always like,
everybody's having
fun on this show.
And then I saw the
trailer and I'm like
from the 1989
Batman movie and
I'm like, oh my
God, Batman's real.
He's a real... Because he had the black costume and he had the car and I'm like, for the 1989 Batman movie, and I'm like, oh my God, Batman's real. He's a real...
Because he had the black costume and he had the car and the Joker was this horrible monster
with a frozen grin.
But having...
And the other day, I'm like, you know what, I'm going to revisit that magic.
I'm going to watch that trailer again.
Yeah.
Awful.
Yeah, it is.
It's so poorly paced.
No, the movie's still great.
I would disagree.
But the trailer is so...
It's like
it's one of those trailers
from the 80s
which is
a sort of random scene
so it's
shoehorned together
and there's no
yeah
makes no sense
weird audio
weird music cues
anyway yeah
what were we talking about
oh yeah
Batman No No No No
what's the ending
do you remember
yeah he murders the Joker
remember that
it was good wasn't it
he grappling hooks
into a gargoyle.
Yeah, and then it weighs him down.
And then his options are have his leg torn off.
Yeah.
Or fall to his death.
And he falls to his death.
When I was a kid, a very young man, I remember I went to one of my parents' friend's house.
Yep.
And you know when you're a kid, I don't know about you, but I hated all of my parents'
friends' kids.
Most of them.
Because I'm like, why are you forcing me to hang out with this guy
like we have nothing in common
and when you leave the room
he punches me
because he's like
three feet taller than me
right okay
and he's older
anyway I went to this guy's house
and he's like
what movie do you want to watch
and I'm like
I want to watch Batman
you've got Batman
you're one of those kids
with a TV in your room
and a VHS player
because you're one of those
prick kids
from the 90s
he was like a villain
from the 90s
he wore a little ascot and a blazer that's it and he was older he was much older than me kids from the 90s. He was like a villain from the 90s.
He wore a little ascot and a blazer. That's it.
He was much older than me and clearly
smarter. He kind of looked like
Buzz from Home Alone. You know, Macaulay
Culkin's older brother with
the pig face. So he drew out the whole
process of, okay, we could do it, but we hold a
raffle. And he cut up all these little tickets
so he could do a raffle and he could
draw which one it was. And by the time that he managed to do this my parents came in and like we're gonna go
So I missed it and if I ever see that guy again, I'm gonna knock all these fucking teeth out. I feel like legitimately Wow
Wow, this is your own. You're gonna tie that guy to a gargoyle push him out of a helicopter
What a prick it was also one of those guys
who played the Nintendo.
I see why you
created this podcast. It's to do
about nine episodes to cover up
what this is and then you're just
going to let loose on all your childhood bullies.
I get it. I get it.
I don't approve but
do your thing. Anyway, sorry.
He also had a Nintendo
and he'd just play it
in front of me for hours
just be like
no you can't play
wow
what a jerk
yeah
man I hate that guy
does that have anything
to do with the ending
of Batman
no
okay so
nobody told Tim Burton
the Joker
that Batman doesn't
just kill all his opponents
well apparently
like he said
about
he said
I'd certainly never read a comic book
instead of this very famous quote,
especially something like Kevin Smith,
when he was attacking Kevin Smith.
And Kevin Smith said,
well, that clearly explains the first Batman movie.
Which is true, because the Batman movie
has so little to do with Batman,
despite having Batman in it.
Anyway, an unofficial version of the film
has aired on Latin TV.
It did air on Latin TV.
At least once.
Televisionales Latinos.
That's the one.
Yes.
Besides being dubbed into Spanish, the film's ending is heavily edited.
And it's as follows.
Okay.
So when the Joker puts on the glasses and says,
You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses on, would you?
Batman punches him, knocks him over the edge, and he dies.
He just plumps through his death and dies.
Wow.
So it's just, he gets punched, and then it cuts to the Joker falling, and then he's dead.
That sounds like some sort of...
Like, they're just...
For whatever reason, they only have, like, 87 minutes to put the movie on,
but it goes for, like, 95 or whatever,
and they're like, we'll just cut out the last five minutes.
The climatic battle.
Cut out the bit with the art.
Yeah.
Come on.
Yeah.
Cut out all the Prince songs.
Yeah.
Isn't that amazing?
Isn't that amazing?
That's pretty great.
So clearly they've done a punch
They've edited out everything
The helicopter
And the getting to the roof
And blah de blah
And they've just
Put in that last bit
Where he
Animated Joker
Falls to his death
Yeah
That's great
That's pretty much it
Yeah
It's kind of funnier
I definitely want to say that
And it sounds like an accident
Unless it wasn like an accident.
Unless it wasn't an accident.
Right.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like he knocked him off the edge on purpose.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wow, pretty amazing.
There's just an outtake of Michael Keaton.
Like, ooh.
Oh, boy.
Great movie.
Not really.
Anyway, next one.
Another Star Wars movie.
Return of the Jedi from 1983.
Ewoks.
I don't really remember how it ends.
Han Solo and the Ewoks.
Does everybody get a medal at the end?
No, that's fine. Oh, I can't remember how it ends now.
I can't remember now.
Okay, so...
They're in the...
Are they in the second death?
Are they in the Death Star?
They're in the second Death Star, yeah.
Okay, they're in the second Death Star.
And Darth Vader's going to kill Luke.
Yep.
And then...
Emperor's going to kill Luke.
Emperor's going to kill Luke. And then Darth's going to kill Luke Emperor's going to kill Luke
And then Darth Vader's like
And he grabs
That's what they added in
They added the no recently
There was never a no
And George Lucas recently went back
And he goes no
And he picks up the Emperor
Right
It's implied that he doesn't want him to do that
You don't need him to say no
Yeah
You know
It doesn't look like an accident
Yeah that's true
Not a Batman-esque accident
And then he falls down the drive shaft
or whatever it is
and they die.
Yeah.
I would have loved
to have seen a bit.
And then they did this
on Robot Chicken.
And then at the end,
no, go ahead.
No, I was going to say,
they did this on Robot Chicken
where the Emperor falls through
and he just falls past
the Millennium Falcon
as it's flying into
the centre of the Death Star.
I think Robot Chicken
or maybe Family Guy did that.
Anyway, so go on.
So, and at the end,
Darth Vader's then allowed to appear in the...
Go to heaven.
Go to heaven.
Which as a child I did not buy.
Yeah.
This is the first, I think this is the first instance of that where I'm like, yeah, you
saved your child.
Yeah.
But you also blew up that planet with millions of, billions of people on it.
Well, Grand Moff Tarkin did that.
He could have stopped it.
I think you said this to me once.
You said it would be like...
I'll tell you what it would be like.
Okay, go.
It would be like if it's the end of World War II
and Hitler and Stalin teamed up to fight,
to destroy the Allies, right?
And they're in Stalin's palace,
because I assume he has a palace.
Sure. And Stalin's like, because I assume he has a palace. Sure.
Right.
And Stalin's like, look what I've found, Hitler.
It's your son, and he's in the resistance.
And Hitler's like, no!
He grabs Stalin, and he throws him down the driveshaft of the palace.
He's still Hitler.
He's still Hitler, exactly, yeah.
Yeah, space Hitler.
He wouldn't get to show up in heaven.
No. That's really unfair. Yeah, it's basically. He wouldn't get to show up in heaven. No.
In the light heaven.
That's really unfair.
Yeah.
Super unfair.
Yeah.
Because it's his son.
It's ridiculous.
Of course he's got to save his own son.
Yeah.
He could still be a bad person.
Exactly.
He is a bad person.
Yeah.
He's the worst person.
Yeah.
He chopped up all those kids, remember?
For no reason.
Yeah.
God.
He probably cheated in that pod race.
Did he?
I don't know.
It doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter.
Or does it?
What a terrible story arc that guy had.
I know.
It was.
And they made it bad.
It wasn't bad.
And then they made it bad by over-explaining it.
And just, oh my God.
You know what?
I'm not even going to get into it.
Let's not get into it.
Let's save it for another podcast.
Anyway.
We'll save it for just, we'll just go to a high mountaintop and just scream for a couple
of hours.
That's right
Now the original ending
Or one of the considered endings
And Harrison Ford
Very much wanted to do this
Was that Han Solo
Dies
In the raid
On the Imperial base
Yep
And
Wouldn't that
I thought that would have been
Do you think
He wanted Han Solo to die
Or do you think
They were just
Filming one day
And the director was like
Hey
Harrison how do you feel And he's like one day and the director was like hey Harrison
how do you feel
and he's like
I want to die
he's got his head
in his hands
he's like
I want to die
and they're like
oh we'll write that in
we'll see how that tests
we'll write
we'll put that in
he's like
you don't get it
well famously
what is it
he said in an interview
it's coming off famously
that he goes
Harrison Point goes
George Lucas thought
there were no money
in dead hand solo toys
right which is true I guess I don't know but I think and I said this in my making Star Wars That he goes, Harrison Ford goes, George Lucas thought there were no money in dead Han Solo toys.
Right.
Which is true, I guess.
I don't know.
But I think, and I said this in my Making Star Wars Not Terrible video.
No, you and your videos.
God.
That they should kill Han Solo in the first Star Wars, in the new one.
In the first ten minutes. The first ten minutes, that would be amazing.
And he shows up, and then they introduce the villain.
A villain that they keep through the trilogy by the way.
Yeah.
Unlike the prequels
where they're like
here's Darth Maul
dead.
Here's Dooku
dead.
He's Grievous.
He's in it for ten
minutes.
Dead.
Yeah.
Like it's terrible.
Yeah.
Darth Maul should
have ran through
that whole movie.
Yeah.
Those whole series.
Anyway.
And you get the
villain to kill
Han Solo.
And how like
war champion
man of the people
Han Solo gets shot in the face on television.
Yeah, exactly.
And imagine how much everybody would hate that villain.
You know what would be amazing?
All the fans would hate the villain and they'd want to just keep watching to see him get his.
Harrison Ford would get to die, which is his fondest wish.
And that whole, like, both in real life and in the movie franchise, everybody wins.
Yeah.
Yeah, that'd be great.
You pull that? Yes. Yeah, that'd be great. You pull that?
Yes.
Yeah, cool.
All right, so that obviously will not happen.
They had it.
What Harrison Ford also said, they ended up having a teddy bear picnic at the end.
Yeah, that's very true.
Return of the Jedi sags in the middle in a big way.
The start is amazing in the Jabba's Palace.
The end confrontation with Luke and Vader is amazing.
All that stuff in the middle is.
Remember when they said, they were like, oh, we found this footage
from the start of Return of the Jedi,
and it's Luke building,
like a guy in a hood,
and he's building the lightsaber,
and he lights it up.
And it's like, whoa.
Yeah.
You didn't find that.
They didn't find that.
You made that.
And also, that would rob the...
That robs Return of the Jedi,
that entire bit at the start,
where you think he's unarmed,
you think he's done for,
and then bang,
green lightsaber.
Yeah, and because nobody had seen a green lightsaber at that point.
It had been blue and red.
And then they just do purple now or whatever.
And that purple lightsaber, Sam Jackson just said,
I want a purple lightsaber.
And George Lucas was like, well, they're only really blue and red and whatever.
And he's like, no.
Great.
Purple.
Yeah, that whole reveal would have been completely spoiled.
What a dumb scene.
Yeah.
Nah, that scene, they filmed that.
What a pack of jerks.
I know, right? Yeah. Anyway, next one. Not a comic book. Yeah. Nah, that scene. They filmed that. What a pack of jerks. I know, right?
Yeah.
Anyway.
Next one.
Not a comic book movie in any way, but I want to talk about it.
Alright, here we go.
I'm sure there's a...
I've never seen this, but I know you've seen it.
Highlander 2, The Quickening.
Bleh.
One of the worst sequels of all time.
One of the worst films of all time.
Go.
What happens in the end?
Okay, so...
I have no idea.
Do you know anything about the Highlander films?
Break it down for me. I've seen the first one. I've seen the third one.
Okay, so the first one.
The first one, it's sort of
this... It's going to sound ridiculous
when you break it down, but I think it's a
really good film. Yeah, I agree. Where
it's sort of this
unexplained magic of Earth, or
of the universe, grants certain
people randomly throughout the world the ability.
They're immortal.
That's their power.
And for whatever reason, they all have come to believe that there is a prize for the last one alive.
Yeah.
And so that's why they wander around the Earth throughout the years killing each other.
And at the end of...
And then at some point, there becomes this gathering where the last remaining immortals all are drawn to this one place they fight to the death there's one left
and he gets this prize and the prize is well it's it's a bit vague jenga yeah it's jenga the prize
is yeah it's a box of jenga and he's no good at jenga it's unfortunate but the first one is great
because it's got this huge scope of all this, you know, all this...
We see these characters move throughout history.
Oh, it's incredible, yeah.
But at the same time...
A lot of it's told in flashback.
Yeah, and it also has a very...
Good characters with a lot of depth and it has a very well-defined beginning, middle and end.
Very specifically, it's got an end.
And, you know, we can
spoil it as fine because it's a million years old at this point,
but
Connor McCloud, the hero of the film,
he wins the prize.
gains a sort of an understanding
of all the world and the thoughts of all
men and he
sort of, he can grow old again and have
kids and that's the end of it.
And it didn't do well at
the box office, but for whatever reason
they decided that they would do a sequel.
Did that not do well? I don't think so.
It's better than Hey Man.
Sorry.
And again,
for whatever reason, instead of maybe
setting it, you know, maybe just the
Adventures of Highlander back in the day or whatever. That would have been cool. Yeah, they instead, maybe just the Adventures of Highlander back in the day or whatever.
That would have been cool.
Yeah,
they instead,
they,
which is kind of the Highlander
TV series,
what they did is
they decided to change it
from this fantasy universe
to this weird sci-fi universe
where...
The future.
Yeah,
it was Virtues of the Future
is like 2020 something.
And he's old initially.
He's old because he's lost
his immortality
and he's just growing old as a normal man.
And it was environmental issues.
The ozone layer had been depleted.
Early 90s.
So they'd built this electromagnetic shield
around the world for ozone protection.
But it turns out, we realise that
the immortals aren't from this
unexplained magical universe.
They're from another planet.
Yeah.
And they were rebels
fighting against General Katana,
who's an alien.
And they captured
Connor McLeod and Romero's
playbosh on Connery
who were planning this rebellion.
Who's dead at this point, by the way.
Yeah, who's dead at this point.
And so what they did
as punishment,
they sent them
through time and space
to the past where
they became immortals in the setting of the first film yeah and so at this point they've decided
that they decide that oh this is so confusing but the thing about highlander apologists on the
internet the only way any of the movies make sense is if you if you assume they all take place in
separate universes because none of the continuity make sense is if you assume they all take place in separate universes.
Because none of the continuity makes any sense.
They all contradict one another.
And they're all awful.
So anyway, this ruler guy decides that what he's going to do is he doesn't want Connor McCloud to cause any more trouble.
So he sends two of his henchmen through space to Earth.
Even though he's a dying old man.
Even though he's a dying old man.
How come he doesn't remember?
I don't know.
I don't think...
Maybe it's explained that...
Why don't I remember?
That's a blocking out.
That's the real question.
Maybe he's blocking it out.
But anyway, so he kills these guys
and he gets his immortality back.
And that also brings Ramirez back from the dead.
Yep.
With magic.
Or is it science?
Who's to know?
Anyway, it's awful.
And anyway, the point is that they both
everybody teams up and has weird alliances
and rivalries
and then
Connor McCloud kills Michael Ironside
and... In real life. Yeah, in real life.
And the quickening
destroys the shield and then it turns out
Earth was fine anyway.
And then I think, because he's killed
all the immortals again, he gets
the prize again.
But this time the prize
is to go... Hungry Huggy Hippos.
Yeah, this is Hungry Huggy Hippos, but also
he gets to go back to his home planet,
Poochie style. So him and the new girlfriend
that he picks up in Highlander 2, they sort of
turn into light and they disappear
into space because they're going back to their home planet.
I think you've actually seen the alternative ending.
I might have seen that.
They're all sort of samey-ish, I think.
Because in this ending, it says shown in some European countries only.
And probably Australia.
Or a European country.
Or Europe-ish.
Yeah.
No way.
Well, we're founded by Europe, aren't we?
Yeah.
Sure.
A bit of history there for everybody.
So good.
But yeah, what is it?
That Connor floats up into the sky,
asks Louise to go with him,
I presume that's his new girlfriend,
and they fly off and return to his home planet.
So you saw that ending.
I think so, but I think there's another...
I remember reading about this,
and I think there's an alternate ending
where you actually see the planet.
Like, they actually go, they appear on that planet.
So...
There you go.
Yeah, anyway, great.
It's a real winner.
It sure is.
Worst, better, irrelevant.
Irrelevant.
Who cares?
Don't say it.
I want to watch it one day.
See Highlander 1.
That's good.
Yep.
See Highlander 4, Endgame, which is pretty good.
Oh, okay.
That's like the late 90s one, yeah.
Oh, early 2000s.
Okay.
Span off into the TV series.
No, the TV series spanned off into that
oh okay
yeah
cool
alternate universes though
goodness gracious
don't see
don't see 2, 3 or 5
5's not good
done
yep
okay there we go
next one
not a comic book movie
but it's very comic book based
here we go
in a way
Clerks from 1994
yep
the original ending
do you remember
ah it's just
it just
just ends
it just sort of ends
he throws him the sign
or whatever
the open sign
yeah
your face is closed
or whatever
and then he leaves
one of them leaves
yep
Dante or Randall
which one
it doesn't matter
doesn't matter
yeah
so in the original ending
and this was filmed
apparently because
Kevin Smith didn't know
how to end it
yep
his first film or whatever
what an effort
to put that film together
as well
yeah yeah but just as Dante closes the store a guy comes in and shoots him dead Apparently because Kevin Smith didn't know how to end it. Yep. His first film or whatever. What an effort to put that film together as well. Yeah, yeah.
But just as Dante closes the store, a guy comes in and shoots him dead.
Then he takes some cigarettes.
Great.
And that's the ending.
Fantastic.
Yeah.
I like Clerks too.
A lot.
I think we saw that together.
Yeah, yeah.
I believe.
Yeah.
A lot of people don't like Clerks, so I like it quite a bit.
I think it's fine.
Yeah, but I'm glad they didn't go with that ending.
But that also ties into the whole movie.
He always says, I wasn't even supposed to be here today.
Right.
And then he gets shot.
Yeah.
So, you know.
Great happy ending.
I love it.
Yeah.
Great happy ending.
Worse.
Worse.
I agree.
Yeah.
Iron Man 2.
Buh.
Do you remember the ending?
Yeah, robots.
Yeah.
They don't kill Mickey Rourke, even though his head's uncovered for most of the film.
Don't they kill him in the original ending?
No, they do, but they kill him right at the end.
They could have killed him like 15 minutes earlier.
On the racetrack.
Again, a real opportunity for them to launch a missile.
He just flies around, just hangs out for a bit, gets a cup of coffee or whatever.
And then when Mickey Rourke shows up, not wearing a helmet, smacks him in the back of the head.
Just bursts that thing like an element.
I think he does show up with the helmet, then he takes the helmet off.
And he's like, it's me, Mickey Rourke.
Oh, okay.
And they're like, oh, okay.
That's Mickey Rourke, guys.
Hey, guys, it's Mickey Rourke.
Laser whips.
Yep.
So the original ending was...
This one.
It's another one that shouldn't even be on here because it's so uninteresting.
Yeah.
Mickey Rourke's whiplash holds Pepper Potts hostage with his mini whips.
With his what?
His mini whips?
Yeah, mini whips.
Are they like mini wheats?
Yep.
Propting Stark to come and rescue her.
Some nifty teamwork between him and Potts allow them both to escape.
And then Rhodey blows him up.
Great.
You know, if you said to me that was the actual ending, I would have gone, okay.
Yeah, it seems... because I don't remember
it seems
yeah that makes sort of sense
yeah
but if you recall
in the original ending
they team up
yeah
repulsa style
they do
and then
oh then he self-destructs himself
yeah he does
yeah yeah yeah
he predators it
yeah he did tell his predators
he just bitches out
yeah
what a nitty-bitty
okay
Iron Man 3 we've talked aboutitty. Okay. Iron Man 3.
We've talked
about this before.
Ending of Iron
Man 3, he
blows up his
suits.
We said that
in this one.
Exactly.
Anything you
want to add?
Well, it's
just really
symbolic, you
know, the love.
Because he's a
billionaire and
he can build one
of those suits in
like five hours.
Yeah.
If I burnt down
the place where I
live, I would be
in some serious shit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, yeah.
So, yeah, you're right.
It is symbolic.
Yeah.
And it's Christmas also.
Oh, yeah.
The original ending
we've talked about this before
Trevor Slattery
uses extremists
and then he explodes.
Pretty great.
You reckon add it in?
Yeah.
Okay, cool.
I'm going to say worse
because it makes zero sense.
Okay, cool.
Not that it makes zero sense
it makes perfect sense
but it adds another thing
none of the rest of the movie
made any sense
so it doesn't matter
this one I think
is my favourite
okay I'm ready
it's for Scott Pilgrim
versus the world
okay
what happens at the end
like at the end
he just
Ramona and Scott Pilgrim
decide to give their love
another chance
kind of thing
they just
okay let's hang out some more and see what happens.
Yep.
As this movie was filming, the comic was apparently still going.
So Edgar Wright didn't know.
Yeah, Volume 6 hadn't come out.
Yeah.
Volume 6 and the 6th one hadn't come out yet.
Are they different?
I've never read it.
Well, one's a comic, so they're different in that way.
Yes.
In terms of mediums, sure.
They're different, but they're not markedly different.
Like nobody...
My feeling, when the movie came out, my assumption was going to...
But my assumption was...
Yeah.
My assumption of how the movie was going to end as I was watching it,
and my assumption of how the final volume was going to end when it came out,
was that Scott was going to end up with Knives,
the nice chowder Korean girl.
Yep, yep.
Because they clearly had the best connection.
Yeah.
And Ramona was just sort of tolerating Scott Pilgrim.
Yeah.
He's just like, oh, yeah, I guess.
You're all right, but I'm just going to leave, so why, uh...
But at the end, Knives is like, oh, I'm too cool for you.
I'll just, you know, but...
Yeah.
Well, it's funny you say that.
That was actually... There was two endings, at least. Okay. One of them was he decides to go with Knives' like I'm too cool for you I'll just you know but yeah it's funny you say that that was actually
there was two endings
at least
one of them was
he decides to go with
Knives Chow
because they had more in common
made a lot more
would have made a lot more sense
however
there's another alternative ending
another ending
which is my favourite
I think
that Edgar Wright
didn't have time to film
a news report
covering
is seen
covering the story
of a serial killer
who's murdered seven people
and then claimed he was in a video game.
That's good.
How good is that?
That would be pretty good, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That would explain all the wackiness in that movie.
Yeah.
That's one of those movies I saw all the time and I'm like, yeah, it was alright.
Didn't love it.
And then seeing it again in hindsight, I really liked that movie.
Like Moulin Rouge.
Yeah.
Yeah, I like Moulin Rouge.
What do you think of that?
I don't know who you are anymore.
That's so weird.
Is that why you're always like,
It's a can, can, can!
Like at the supermarket and stuff.
That's exactly why.
Yeah, yeah, you just bring it into your real life.
I don't know.
Scott Pilgrim is one of those movies,
and Terminator 2 is the same.
No.
No, it is.
They're the same because what they should have done,
what I would...
It never would have worked because they wouldn't have made any money.
I mean, Scott Pilgrim wouldn't make any money anyway,
so they may as well have tried it.
They should have pitched that.
All the trailers should have pitched that as a romantic comedy
with no sci-fi fighting elements at all,
and then you think it's going to be this guy dealing with all the exes
and all this relationship drama, and then you get in and then it be this guy dealing with all the exes and all
this relationship drama and then you get in and then it's insane video game fight.
That would have been great.
That would have been great.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Do you think a lot of people would have left the cinema?
No, I would have stuck around.
Come on.
What movie were we in?
What's that movie about the end of the world and Martin Freeman's in it?
The World's End.
New Tiger's Guide to the Galaxy.
Oh, right.
Okay.
Sorry.
There were two.
Okay.
But remember two people left during that
that's not a great movie
because I think
they were expecting
something else
and then there was
the dolphin sing song
at the start
that's right
and then they left
and the guy was
as he left
he was like
what a
what a dumb movie
he said as he left
yeah
in the wittiest call
yeah that's pretty good
that's not a great movie
but yeah
what a dickhead
okay but
but in Terminator 2
is the same
where
and again
listeners if you've never...
If you have a friend, and I always like to try this,
if you have a friend who's never seen the first two Terminator films,
get them in a room and watch them back to back.
Yep.
Because that second one will blow their mind.
Yeah.
And again, they should have done this in the trailer.
And I get...
It's probably a fine balancing act,
because there's a lot of great special effects in that film,
and you want to show them off to get people in the cinemas
but
if you came straight
from the first Terminator
and you watched Terminator 2
for the first 15 minutes
you would assume
that Arnold Schwarzenegger
is the bad guy
you absolutely would
and that Robert Patrick
is the good guy
again because it's
this weird parallel
to the first one
he doesn't
it's only
20 minutes in
that you realise
the T-1000
killed that cop
and yeah and and what have you assumed his form as opposed to yeah just putting his uniform on
and so on but because they had to market all the amazing special effects they had to reveal that
that guy was liquid metal in the trailers yeah that kind of took a lot of yeah absolutely right
yeah that i'm trying to think i don't think I know anybody. Everybody I know is...
We'll find someone.
Yeah, we will.
Yeah, we'll get them.
Just kidnap someone from the streets.
Yeah, definitely, yeah.
Yeah, there you go.
You're right about that Terminator thing.
They're making a new one as well.
They're casting, looking for Sarah Connor at the moment.
Schwarzenegger's in it.
And I think they were talking about setting it in the 50s?
Huh.
I'll watch that.
Yeah, I'll watch that.
I'll watch the hell out of that.
I don't know how Sarah Connor's in it.
But, you know, who knows?
That changes all the time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, who knows?
Last one.
What the hell out of that?
Oh, better, worse, whatever.
I think both of those are better.
I think both of those are better.
You're right, yeah.
Not that that's...
It's still a great movie.
Yeah.
But I think both of those are better.
Last one.
Ready?
We got this.
This has been a bit of a long one,
so I apologise to you.
We'll edit out all the dead space.
I'll edit out...
So this will come down to 32 minutes.
I'm going to edit out my rant about my...
No, keep it in.
No, keep that in.
That's the best part.
That is the best part.
And you always...
If you edit that out, I will just come over here one day
and you've just got your headphones in
and you're listening to that rant over and over again.
Like, what did I put in the show?
What did I put in the show? So keep kept it in the show. What a prick.
He dragged that out on purpose so that I couldn't see Batman. That's what I'm saying. Yeah,
I know. You've seen Batman since though. I have. Yeah. But still, what a prick. Okay.
So Alien from 1979. Again, not a comic, a lot of comics based on the Aliens franchise
do you remember
what happened
at the end of
Alien 1979
shuttle
airlock
space suit
kicks it out
the airlock
it's still
hanging on
the end of the
that's Aliens
no it's still
hanging on the
hook thing
and she fires the engines and burns it.
To a crisp. You're right.
In the original version. I'm ready.
Ridley Scott.
I'm just going to read this because it's just
easier. Ridley would... Ripley
would make her escape. Ripley or Ridley?
Ripley. So confusing. I know.
The woman from Ghostbusters.
Yep. Two.
Yes. Would make her escape
Viggo the Carpathian
yes
yes
Ripley would make her escape
from the exploding Nostromo
uh huh
only for the Xenomorph
to reappear in the shuttle
which it does
yep
it then bites her head off
and then starts communicating
with Earth
using her voice
wow
no
that would have changed
everything
that would have changed wow yeah what would have changed, wow. Yeah. What would
have happened is the ongoing effect of that would have been that thousands of comic book
creators and movie makers would have been out of jobs because that would have been the
last Alien film. Yep. I think, yeah. The last Alien anything. I mean, and that would have,
they would have had a whole, if they did do sequels to that, the Alien would have had
wacky powers, I'd imagine. Like it could morph into a human or whatever and that would have, they would have had a whole, if they did do sequels to that, the alien would have had wacky powers.
I'd imagine like it could morph into a human or whatever.
It would have got a very strange twist.
That was a good call to take that out.
Definitely.
Also,
if they're like,
yeah,
I'm Ripley.
I'm not an alien.
I'm going to come back to earth.
They'd be like,
cool.
And then they'd open the door and be like,
Oh,
it's an alien.
Yeah.
That's a,
that's a really scary alien.
Yeah.
We should probably,
good thing we have this tank and then bang over.
So, yeah.
Kind of pointless.
Kind of stupid.
I'd love to see it if it exists.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
There we go.
That's the show, Mason.
Ah, so that's worse.
Yeah, obviously.
Just so we're clear.
That's so much worse.
Yeah.
That is so much worse.
Uh-huh.
Again, apologies to those listening for this running a little long, but there is a lot
of alternative things.
I thought about splitting it into two, but then I thought,
you know what?
No.
Good.
That was my thought process.
Cause then you'd have to click stop and record again.
Yeah.
God,
are you kidding me?
Ugh.
Don't do that.
I'm an idiot.
Yeah.
Next week again,
don't know what we're going to talk about.
Doesn't matter.
Yeah.
Well,
we will talk about the new Spider-Man trailer.
I'll tell you that much.
Okay,
good.
I'm ready.
And maybe we'll even talk about something else.
Ooh.
I'm always on board for something else.
You sure are.
Yeah.
Thank you to Gabriel Bruton for our theme song at the start.
Every time.
Best theme song ever.
Every time.
If you want to suggest a topic or you've got anything to say, you can either hit us up
on Twitter, weeklyplanetpod at Gmail.
Sorry, weeklyplanetpod at Gmail is our email weekly planet pod on twitter or facebook
mason's is twitter is wikipedia brown correct mine is mr sunday movies shoot us an email or whatever
yeah let us know tell us what we're doing wrong yep just hit it everything we're doing everything
wrong yeah that is the show good to be here listening. Thanks for all the downloads as well.
It's going really well.
Show's going great.
I love it.
Yay.
Yay.
Bye.
Bye.
As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors.
Like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease
to go up.
Know your risks.
Visit heartandstroke.ca.