The Weekly Planet - 100! Star. Wars. Prequels
Episode Date: September 7, 2015In our extra special extended episodes (we definitely intended it to be this long) we break down what is the Star Wars prequels.Plus we get into news of Zod's part in Batman V Superman, The Totally Aw...esome Hulk, Arrow, Force Friday, Disney's Age Of Ultron disappointment and a big shake-up at Marvel.Thank you so much for listening, we genuinely appreciate all the support and emails and tweets and general awesomeness that comes with having all you good people listening.Here's to one hundred more episodes! Or at the very least five. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome back everybody to another episode of The Weekly Planet
Official podcast of comicbookmovie.com
Episode 100
Fiesta!
Episode 100, episode Cinco de Mayo
We did it
Yes we did
Are you excited to be here Nick Mason?
Yeah
Of this podcast?
Yeah.
Me too.
Yeah.
Technically, this is episode 100.01 because we just started recording and it didn't record.
That's right.
Yes.
So this feels like more to us.
It does.
It already feels like work.
And it's never felt like work up to this point.
Yeah.
Man.
That episode is now lost in time.
Speaking of lost in time.
Oh, sweet link.
Thanks.
I'm not happy about it. You shouldn't be
because I already know
what the news is.
Yeah.
Wes Craven,
Dead at 76.
Ah, shame.
Horror movie icon.
Nightmare on Elm Street.
Nightmare on Elm Street.
A number of sequels
to those movies.
Correct.
The Scream movies.
Wes Craven's new nightmare.
That's right, yeah.
Are you a fan of his work?
Yes.
Did you have like
Freddy Krueger nightmares
when you were a kid?
I must have briefly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because he took that one thing
where you were safe
when you were asleep
and he took it from you.
There was an episode where...
Not an episode.
There was a film
where he went into like video...
He was a video game.
Oh, is that where he got
the power glove?
He got the power glove, yeah.
I remember that. So I think there was a video game. Oh, is that where he got the power glove? He got the power glove, yeah.
So I think there was a little something for everybody in those Darman Elstreet films that would get into a child's mind
and just destroy them.
The movie that I know the best is probably Freddy vs. Jason
because it's the one I've seen the most recently.
Well, that was from, as I understand it, that movie,
Kevin Smith has talked about it before.
Yeah.
Where he's like, he was approached by one of the Weinstein brothers.
I don't know which one it was.
Sure. From the Weinstein company.
And he said, you know how back in the day there was like an Abbott and Costello and
they would meet the famous monsters in their movies kind of thing.
Sure, yeah.
Weinstein was like, well, we should have Jay and Silent Bob meet the modern movie monsters.
Okay, sure.
Like your Freddy and your Jason and your Pinhead or whatever.
What do you think about that?
Well, Kevin Smith turned it down or, you know, the project didn't get off the ground.
But if you watch Freddy versus Jason, there is very much some Jay and Silent Bob star characters.
Are they in the cornfield and they're like, we're blazing doobies, dude.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
So I think they were like, we're blazing doobies, dude. Yeah, exactly, yeah.
So I think they were like, let's file this under.
Kevin Smith probably won't sue us, so let's do it later.
Great.
I don't remember hating that movie, but it's probably crap.
We were talking about that earlier, things from the 90s.
At the time seemed great, a lot of them.
Even though that one wasn't from the 90s, I'm sure it was from like 2007 or something.
I don't know.
Did you see that reboot, Freddy reboot? No,s, I'm sure it was from like 2007 or something. I don't know. Yeah.
Did you see that reboot?
Freddie reboot?
No, never did.
But it's terrible.
I like, what's his name?
Jackie O'Haley?
Freddie Krueger.
Correct.
The kid who played John Connor in the TV show Sarah Connor Chronicles, who's in that movie.
Do you like all those things?
I like all the combination of those things and no other combination of things.
It's all I like.
You hear about Michael Shatner backpedaling on his Zod comments?
Yes.
Yes.
Here's the thing.
Say the thing.
Okay.
So basically...
Because last week he was like,
I was trapped in a port-a-loo.
I was on set
and I went into a port-a-loo
and I was wearing flippers
on my hand
so I got trapped
in the toilet or whatever.
Exactly.
And now what's he saying?
He's saying that basically,
no, that was a joke
that was clearly bullshit you guys all fell for it i gotcha kind of thing right and he said no
what actually it was i i was on set i'm doing a voiceover i'm like a jor-el hologram which is
weird because if he's a hologram yep you need a visual exactly you need to physically be there and yeah and like if he was just recording audio
yeah then just get the bloody get all the audio of him from the episodes of boardwalk empire
absolutely just have you know just splice them all together whatever combination you want it's
sort of an just a classic kryptonian message about bloody ragtime and prohibition you know
what i mean i'd watch that yeah definitely but I think this seems to me like, because if he was,
this is the part where it stopped recording.
Yes.
If we got to this point, if they said, hey,
do a fake joke interview about being Doomsday.
Yeah, yeah.
Because the assumption on this is that he's been,
because if we see the trailer for Batman v Superman
we see him zipped up
into a body bag
sent to what we assume
is like a LexCorp office
something like that
he's basketball court
yeah
like a medical facility
oh that's right it is too
yeah
or like a military base
or something like that
with a basketball court
yeah and then we see
there's a latest scene
where we see
Batman leaping out of the way
of a heat blaster
heat vision
that blows up a building.
Yeah.
And the assumption is that Lex Luthor has attempted to clone Zod or,
or resurrect some kind of Superman killing.
Yeah,
exactly.
And it's going to be doomsday.
Yeah.
And so if that's fake and Michael Shannon's doing this as a stunt,
he wouldn't have said flippers because like flippers,
we assume is like some sort of like CGI like prop thing.
Like they're going to CGI over.
Yeah, like a big grey glove with dots on it.
Yeah, and they're going to CGI whatever.
He wouldn't have said flippers because then we have to figure that out ourselves.
That's right.
If it's a prank, he would have said,
I was wearing a Doomsday helmet and I was wearing Doomsday big claw gloves
or whatever.
Like they would have straight up given the game away.
That's right.
But this seems to be, it seems to me that he is inadvertently given the game away.
And I love how his follow-up story is clearly the fake story.
Yeah.
I think that is very good too.
Great.
Oh, Balacier wants to know, what do we think of the fake comments or whatever?
And do you think that rules out the possibility of Zod in Dawn of Justice?
I don't think we'll see Zod.
I think we'll see dead Zod and then Doomsday.
Yes, me too.
That's what I'll say.
Valis, like from bloody...
Or was it Valis?
Vasilis, I apologize.
There we go.
I did it.
Yeah, I definitely think we're going to see her.
Yeah, cool.
Maybe a Bizarro, but that... Bizarro's too weird to do too early. Yeah, I definitely think we're going to see it. Yeah, cool. Maybe a Bizarro, but that...
Bizarro's too weird to do too early.
Yeah, it's true, yeah.
That'd be great.
Yeah, plus also Bizarro,
Flame Breath, Ice Vision.
Oh, yeah.
So, not going to work.
You're right.
Yeah, logically, the scenario I've invented in my head
doesn't stand up.
Correct.
Did you see the new Arrow trailer?
Yes, I did, just recently, yeah.
He didn't have a goatee in the trailer, did he?
No.
But he did in a picture that some people sent us.
Well, we were tweeted a picture by a listener whose name I cannot recall
because I'm a bad person.
Vasilis.
There we go.
Thank you.
And, yeah, it looks like he's got the classic,
it looks like he's working towards the classic Green Arrow goatee.
Which is weird because, like, a few weeks ago,
we've been lied to again.
He was like, I will literally never dub that look.
He was like, maybe season six or whatever.
But I think what we're looking at there is because he's got a lot of stubble
going on.
He's overcome all the bad guys and now he's living in the suburbs
like a dad with a man cave.
Like a Ben Folds.
Like a Ben Folds.
Rocking the suburbs.
Thank you, there we go.
And he's got the stubble going
and then he clearly has to go back into action.
ASAP.
No time to shave.
Yeah.
So I think what we're seeing there...
Maybe he's caught mid-shaving.
Like he's done the sides
and then he's like, oh shit.
And he's gone.
But that'd be funnier
if he did the whole right side of his face and then he had to leave. It looks to me that he's like oh shit and he's gone but that'd be funnier if he did the whole like
right side of his face and then he had to leave it looks to me that that's like with the still
we've seen as kind of a shadow issue yeah yeah like i think he's just got a lot of stuff going
on yeah i would have because i thought because what's the narrative justification for growing
a goatee well i thought one way to do it could be he's just at a costume party and he just dresses
as classic errol flynn robin hood Just do it like that. Oh, yeah.
Just be like, yeah, this is dumb.
That's not contrived enough.
No, it is.
It's very contrived.
It's on the CW.
I don't have subtlety, all right?
Yeah, you're right.
Okay, that's true, yeah.
What else do we see in the trailer?
We see...
Oh, Tim wants to know,
any thoughts about it or extra thoughts?
Nah, I've changed my mind.
I was going to have some long-winded thoughts,
but I've changed my mind.
No, actually, we do see... Mr terrific we see mr terrific yep not being particularly terrific
if i'm honest with you give him time all right fine give him 10 minutes oh then he's terrific
yeah we see mr terrific we see uh ray palmer's dead we see he's him dead well he's probably not
dead well he's definitely not dead because the the problem here is we've already seen the Legends of Tomorrow trailer in which he is definitely not dead.
So.
Did he shrink away?
Did he get his shrinking working?
Yes, he did.
So maybe he's in like, it's not called the microverse.
What's it called in DC?
Shrinkyland.
Quantum?
No, Shrinkyland.
Shrinkyland.
Yeah.
So, but in the trailer to Legends of Tomorrow, we see him have a conversation with some of the other characters and they're like, so you didn't die, you just got really small.
He's wearing a Shrinky Land t-shirt.
I've been to Shrinky Land and all I got was this lousy t-shirt, it says.
And then he reveals the t-shirt and they're like, oh, yeah.
What is that land called?
Not land, whatever it's called.
It doesn't matter.
Nobody email me, I'll figure it out.
No, Shrinky Land.
Okay.
Yeah, it looks fine.
If we could get some Shrinky Land t-shirts mocked up.
Please.
Golden Legend, if you're listening.
One of our artists in residence.
Correct.
If you can mock one up, I'll buy one.
Are you excited for Arrow coming back?
Are we done with the flashbacks?
It doesn't look like it because it looks like he's being the Arrow
and he's kind of got long hair or whatever again.
Amanda Waller's like, you're being an Arrow.
Now you're in a
different country
that is a sound stage
that we could afford
that's where you are
that's where you've
been this year
they are doing it
but I heard they said
they're doing them in
a different way but
a lot less
yeah I bloody hope so
yeah look I
I wouldn't mind like
every fifth one do a
flashback or whatever
or just do one a season.
That'd be better.
Yeah, not fifth.
Yeah, look, I am excited to see him back.
The costume is a bit more classic-y green arrow.
It is.
The arrows are certainly greener.
Let me tell you that.
We finally got there.
We finally got that.
Thea Queen is speeding it up.
Yep.
It's pretty good.
Diggle's got his new Magneto helmet.
Did you see that?
I did see.
Yes, that's true.
What do you think? And we've got Neil McDoncdonough as damien dark yeah i like that guy
he's great and stuff okay right yeah what do you think of the diggle helmet
look i hadn't given that much thought to the diggle helmet diggles new digs yeah they're
all right i guess a lot of people don't like it it looks like a tv costume it doesn't know
it's good enough.
Yeah.
Look, do you want to talk about something else?
Ooh, can we talk about the Arrow trailer for an hour?
Can we do that?
There's a new Hulk, the comic book version of the Hulk.
Oh, there is, too.
It's called Amadeus Cho.
Correct.
Spoiler alert.
Sorry.
No, I think it was in the announcement. Well, it said the new Hulk is the world's first South Korean superhero or whatever.
And I'm like, there's one South Korean character in Marvel and it's Amadeus Cho.
And his mother.
Oh, yeah.
Good point.
Sorry.
Who's in...
Sorry, Mrs. Cho.
Who's in Age of Ultron, actually.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
But yeah, it's called the Totally Awesome Hulk because he loves being the Hulk.
There you go.
It's totally radical.
And he's got that David Beckham.
Oh, he's got the faux hawk.
The faux hawk, yeah.
That's pretty good.
Do you think this has anything to do with eventually the current slate of DC actors
are going to, Marvel actors are going to move on and they're like,
well, now we can make a new Thor, we can make a new Hawkeye.
That's true, we can make a new Spider-Man.
Making a new Spider-Man, making a new Captain America,
we can make a new Hulk now. Do you think that's- I hadn't new Spider-Man. We can make a new Spider-Man, we can make a new Captain America, we can make a new Hulk now.
Do you think that's...
I hadn't thought about it,
but you've convinced me with your arm movements.
Thank you.
If only that translated into whatever medium this is.
Yes.
Yeah.
So, yeah, so we've got Amadeus Cho,
who's...
So we don't really know...
Do we know anything plot-wise,
what's going to happen there?
Because Amadeus Cho, like Bruce Banner,
is one of the smartest people in the world.
Yes.
They're all the smartest people in the world.
Yeah, it's weird, isn't it?
And originally, like the original crop of all of Marvel superheroes
all went to New York University in the same graduated class.
Absolutely.
And then there's like, you know, there's some panels where they're all-
And some of the villains.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Doctor Doom, all sorts.
And there's just like panels of all them, them all just roughhousing, you know,
in their 60s suits and ties, just like, ooh, just roughhousing, you in their suit in their 60s suits and ties just like oh just roughhousing you know all trying to get sue storm or whatever
you know all all just pushing each other out of the way for the class photo getting a malt
getting a malt exactly i know yeah yeah look rag time rag time look i'll give this a few issues
and whatever and if it's any good i'll keep reading it normally i'll start reading something
and i'm like yeah i get it and i drop off like i was reading the new thought i'm like yeah i like
this and then i just kind of stopped reading it and whatever like still gonna go back to superior
spider-man actually but but you won't let me so no exactly yeah okay so when you're saying the
new thought you mean jane foster spoiler alert mason no but the headline said, what woman is going to become Thor?
And there's only one woman in the Marvel Universe
and it's Jane Foster.
I forgot.
I forgot.
But do you think Natalie Portman would be like,
yeah, I'll be Thor?
Yeah.
No.
I heard she didn't really want to do the Dark World,
but if they were like, do you want $15 million,
which may be possible now, which we'll get to.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah, I think she'd do it. I think if Kenneth Okay, yeah. Yeah, I think she'd do it.
I think if Kenneth Branagh was doing it, yeah, she'd do it.
And is Branagh coming back?
There's rumours.
He's coming back for something, right?
But it's maybe not Thor.
No, there's rumours he might do Thor Ragnarok.
Okay.
But he just signed on to something else.
I can't remember what it is.
That's what I'm thinking about, yeah.
So maybe he's...
No, not a Marvel movie, like a different movie.
Like an art movie.
It's like a children's book series.
I can't remember what it is.
Oh, it's Artemis Fowl.
Artemis Fowl.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is, yeah.
About the sort of anti-hero slash supervillain.
What's he about?
What's his deal?
He's about anti-heroism and being a supervillain or something.
I don't know.
I haven't read him.
Does he have a skateboard?
Yes.
Is he like, what's his name?
Tony Hawk?
Yeah.
That's who I was thinking. No, what's his name tony hawk yeah that's who i was thinking no what's his name alex rider from the that spy kid i don't think so no no don't mind no they're apparently they're very
good books yeah i've heard that who knows do you want to know more hulk stuff yes uh it was said
or todd wants to know the hulk was going to be in civil war right mark ruffalo came out and said
it was going to happen and he doesn't want to reveal why he was there
but he said he doesn't know
when the next time we'll actually see the Hulk
because there was rumours that Mark Ruffalo was on set
so now it looks like he's been cut completely
and who knows when we'll see him
but I think that's got something to do with
all the bizzo that went down this week
at Marvel which is complicated
so I guess we'll skip it bye everyone with all the bizzo that went down this week at Marvel. Oh, yes. Which is complicated.
So I guess we'll skip it.
Yep.
Bye, everyone.
No, go ahead.
Okay, so you heard about this, obviously.
There was a big... There was a reshuffle.
First of all, Disney apparently...
A kerfuffle.
Yes.
This all apparently stemmed from
Disney weren't happy with Age of Ultron.
The way...
Both the fan reaction, but more so the money it made.
It made about $100 million less than The Last Avengers.
Really?
Which is still incredible.
I think it's still in the top six, top movies of all time.
But it's not number three or whatever Avengers is.
Well, Avengers isn't number three anymore either.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
What did it get beaten by?
Jurassic World?
Yeah.
So, yeah.
So, as a result of this, apparently Kevin Feige used that to leverage a deal with Disney so that he doesn't
have to report to
Ike Perlmutter
and a
the crankiest man
in the world
that's right
the miserliest man
in the world
apparently so
I got some
stuff here that
he's
reportedly done
oh yes
so basically
Kevin Feige
even though he is
he does oversee
everything at Marvel
he had to go through
Ike Perlmutter and this creative consultative committee.
IKP.
IKP, which had a lot of big name kind of Marvel writers, like the guy who did Death of Captain
America, Brian Michael Bendis.
There you go.
Did he do that?
Maybe he didn't.
No, it was...
I'm a big fan too.
It's annoying.
People are yelling at their iPods, which is fine.
I'm going to drag this out as long as possible.
Ed Brubaker.
You're right.
Yeah, yeah.
Basically, every decision needed to be made
had to go through Ike Perlmutter, right?
And he's notoriously frugal.
And he's responsible, apparently,
for like Robert Downey Jr. being the only one
who gets like a really big pay thing.
Right, interesting.
And also what he's responsible for,
apparently he went to a,
he went to a premiere screening
of one of the Marvel movies,
like a journal,
like a media screening.
And he complained that the journalists
were getting like two sodas
instead of one.
He's frugal to that level.
Exactly.
And he's also-
That's how you make your money,
that's how you become a billionaire.
This dude,
like, yeah,
like this dude is a billionaire.
He actually bailed out Marvel in the 90s.
Supposedly in the 90s.
Sorry to cut you off.
I'm not really sorry.
At a certain point, it might have been Robert Kirkman.
He was doing some work for Marvel.
It might have been Robert Kirkman.
It's somebody who's big now.
At the time when he went to work, work for Marvel in the, you know, in the night. It might've been Robert. It's somebody who's big now. Yeah.
And like at the time when,
when he went to work,
they were like selling off their filing cabinets and stuff like that.
What?
They were in,
they were in such financial,
like empty filing cabinets.
Yeah. Just whatever.
Like just in such financial difficulties.
They were just like,
well,
that's the reason as well.
Why they got rid of like X-Men,
Spider-Man.
Fantastic.
Like they sold them off.
Yeah. Totally. For that. For filing-Man. Fantastic Four, yeah. Fantastic Four. Like they sold them off. Yeah, totally.
For that.
For filing cabinet money.
Filing cabinet money, exactly.
They needed new filing cabinets.
But he's also rumoured to be the reason behind
there's no Black Widow solo movie or like...
I thought that was going to go in a completely different direction.
What did you think I was going to say?
There's no Black...
And I just, I was like, oh boy.
No, we will talk about that though.
Okay, great.
In a minute.
And that like, you know how there's the notorious,
Marvel and notorious for not releasing like Black Widow action figures
and things like that.
Because Marvel is for boys and Disney is for girls apparently.
Exactly.
And apparently a lot of that stems from him.
And again, this is all rumoured.
This is all libel and slander.
Yeah.
But let's continue.
And again, also. Sli sliable the notes that himself and
the creative committee gave to edgar wright about ant-man is one of the major reasons why he walked
oh and also why joss whedon wasn't happy with age of ultron because there was a lot of kind
of micromanagement very interesting in that as well but also he turned up to the iron man premier
in 2008 but he wore glasses and a false mustache to the premiere.
What is that?
Which is weird because he has glasses and a mustache anyway.
It was just the people like,
who is that double glasses, double mustache man?
Oh, well, ignore him.
Ignore him.
He also, this is a rumor.
So, because this is flat out slander.
No, it's true.
This is flat out slander.
Okay. When Terrence Howard was replaced by Don Cheadle.
Allegedly.
When Terrence Howard was allegedly replaced by Don Cheadle in the Iron Man movies.
He said no one would notice because all black people look the same.
Yeah, that's allegedly.
Yeah.
Okay, yeah.
So, and apparently that caused like waves in the office,
like as it would, obviously.
Kevin Feige can now go straight to Disney
the way that Kathleen Kennedy can go straight to Disney also,
who runs Lucasfilm, basically.
So they've cut out the middleman, essentially.
And the same way that the guys from Pixar can do that.
Yeah, that's exactly what it is.
So they're on the same level as that.
So the creative committee, though,
is still
going to be in charge of all tv properties so and you know like you did all the agents of shield
agent carter or the other netflix stuff so that that's still happening damage control
that'd be nice and it's weird though because they've always kind of joss whedon has said
like the agent of shield is a different thing like because in the in the movie universe
colson is dead he won't come back but he's alive on television interesting not that they i mean Sweden has said that like the agent of shield is a different thing. Like, because in the, in the movie universe,
Colson is dead.
He won't come back,
but he's alive on television.
Not that they,
I mean, obviously they still both exist and technically still alive in the world,
but they don't want them to cross.
Right.
He didn't want them to cross as much as,
you know,
I guess other people would,
would want them to now this creative committee as well.
They released this information.
This just came out today,
which is,
which is Sunday.
Happy father's day. Thank you. In Australia. I think it's, it's not a world over thing. It's just Australia. This creative committee as well, they released this information. This just came out today, which is Sunday.
Happy Father's Day.
Thank you.
In Australia.
I think it's not a world over thing, is it? No, it's just Australia.
Good for us.
Yeah.
And apparently-
I mean, it's only in Australia that I know about.
Little shout out to all the dads out there.
Absolutely.
Secret dads.
Secret dads.
The movies that the creative committee apparently were in charge of,
and I think this is, I can't see how this is correct.
Okay.
But these are the movies.
Iron Man, Avengers, Guardians of the Galaxy,
Captain America, The First Avenger, The Winter Soldier, and Civil War.
And those that they didn't work on were Iron Man 2, Iron Man 3,
and Age of Ultron.
But that seems backwards to me. And I don't know this. I would never put Captain America 2, Iron Man 3 and Age of Ultron. But that seems backwards to me.
And I don't know this.
I would never put Captain America 2 and Iron Man 3
in the same basket for any reason.
No, that's exactly it.
So it seems to me that I, I mean, look, I may be wrong.
And look, there's a lot of really talented people
on that creative committee,
but it's a situation where it's sometimes better
to have a singular vision,
unless that vision is say, George Lucas.
Right, sure, yeah.
Who I have a lot of respect for.
Good on him.
We'll talk about that later.
Yeah.
But what do you think?
You're sort of blackmailed into having a good impression of him because he gave billions of dollars to charity.
Exactly.
You know how many people wouldn't do that?
Yeah.
Literally everybody.
Everyone.
Yeah.
Every billionaire, ultimately.
Every billionaire.
Ike Perlmutter. Wait, Gates will. Bill Gates has given away all his money. He's a bloody legend, that bloke. Yeah. yeah literally everyone yeah every billionaire every billionaire like pearl mutter wait uh
gates will bill gates has given away his money bloody legend that bloke yeah um just those two
then yes that's it yeah why don't you go bloody hold hands and go down the bloody the bloody road
with your bloody charities mate take a bloody walk all right you sons of bitches do you think
it's a good idea that kevin feige is now in charge
of everything yes i agree do you think there's a chance that this could go south in what sense
in that you give all the decision making abilities to one person and they drive it off a cliff now
he's done nothing to indicate that he correct that he will do that and i don't think he will
right but i'm just saying i don't think we should celebrate yet i'm just waiting to see what happens the i'm my feeling
is that having ike as this middle man yeah was driving it off a cliff i completely agree insofar
as you know we bang on constantly about ant-man and what that was going to be like yeah it seems
to me that he you know there there was this extra stopping point you know there was this extra
person in the middle going here's the formula yeah if you want to save money if you want to
make you know if you want to we've got a good thing going don't change anything follow the
marvel formula kind of thing that seems to me like and a lot of people though have said that
that there is a good marvel they have a good thing going right Right. And they do, but I feel like they really need to shake it up.
Oh, definitely, yeah.
Soon.
But I feel like, you know, if we've always had this pearl mudder in the middle.
Yeah.
Like the sitcom, pearl mudder in the middle.
Maybe initially when the Marvel Studios stuff was on the rise,
they were building the formula,
they were more content to sort of sit back and go creatively do what you want.
Sodas for all.
Yeah, as many sodas as you want.
Until the filing cabinet money runs out.
But then once that formula was established,
he might have put his foot down and said, okay,
now we know what makes money.
You do that and you do nothing else but that.
So to me, I feel if we're just getting Fiege here,
it'll be kind of a pixar situation
where people you know the creative types can just say this is what we want to do and there's
somebody who can say all right i trust you kind of thing i'm hoping as a result of this they get
some really talented directors back on board because i feel like trank because i feel like
what about trank he's gonna walk past that good. That was a test and you passed.
Yeah.
But you know what?
I don't know what Trank could do with freedom.
Like I know what he could do.
Chronicle is really, really amazing.
Like I'm very interested to see what he'll do next.
Yeah.
Drive a Corvette into a pool.
Like, you know, initially we had like, we had your Jon Favreau,
we had Kenneth Branagh. And then you get, you've got directors also like the brothers who did Winter Soldier.
I've forgotten their names.
The Russo brothers.
And they came from TV and that's an amazing get.
What a great find.
That's an amazing movie.
And you had your Joss Whedon, obviously.
But then you've got like your Alan Taylors who did Thor, The Dark World.
You've got the guy who did Ant-Man, Peyton Reed.
And look, I think those movies are very serviceable and i don't have a problem with them but i feel like i want to get
some real heavy hitter talented directors and then feige put the puts like james gunn yeah sure and
puts his faith in that person oh yeah so that then they drive their individual movies so even though
he's overseeing it i'm hoping that he's the kind of guy and i think he is where he will give creative
control to the directors.
Yeah, totally.
Because I feel like they don't really do that,
or they've been guilty of not doing that.
Yeah.
Something else I heard about Ragnarok is there's a chance
it might be filmed in Australia.
Yeah, I heard that too also.
Yeah, let's be featured extras.
Let's be featured extras.
And by that I mean let's trespass onto the sets wearing winged helmets.
We'll get through.
Yeah.
Do you think we're big enough?
No.
We'll have to get like,
maybe like blow up muscle suits.
I'm going to say we need
whatever the Norse equivalent is of,
we'd be whatever the,
no, yes,
we'd be whatever the Norse equivalent is
of like two kids wearing a trench coat.
You know?
Absolutely.
A cape.
Yeah, a cape.
And a breastplate.
Correct.
All right, good.
All right.
That'll do it on Marvel, right?
Yeah, I think so.
Let's bloody do it.
Do you want to talk about Force Friday?
Force Friday was Friday.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's interesting that this is a day.
Like it's a merchandise day.
They should just call it merchandise day, right?
Yeah, I agree.
I am given to understand that people all across Australia,
I don't know about the rest of the world,
were bitterly disappointed. Why disappointed with the merchandise showing.
Oh, really?
Like there was a lot of Toys R Us were saying,
come in at midnight, you know,
and people were lining up for hours and hours.
You know, we'll have all the greatest Star Wars stock or whatever.
And then you would go in and there was just nothing.
Like, you know, if-
They got some Phantomantom menace toys
they did like they legit no they did they did like they were like okay have some you know 12
inch anakin skywalker toys or whatever and yeah no they legitimately would just like like some
stores apparently were just like well we've got this old stock left just just bring it back in
yeah i go whatever but yeah like uh you know you, like, not even like the full set of characters.
Yeah.
Like, no, like, Captain Phasma, no, you know.
Kylo Ren.
I don't think there were, no.
There were no Kylo Ren lightsabers.
Okay.
Like, if you.
If you're rolling out something.
If you're rolling out something.
Speaking of rolling out.
Yeah.
No BB-8s.
Yeah.
Like, that's a rare commodity
right now
but if you want
like there were
I know people who went in
they're like
okay I've got 500 bucks
to blow on
whatever Star Wars stuff
is coming out
I want a black X-Wing
I want a
all this sort of stuff
I want a Lego
I want a Lego
it's not Legos
it's correct
it's Lego
thank you
it is Legos
and you know
and they just went in
going oh nothing
speaking of rolling
those BB-8s look sweet though.
They do.
Amazing.
My initial reaction was, I should probably buy that.
But then I'm not really going to buy it, am I?
No.
I'm not going to buy any of this.
Yeah.
It's always those things where whenever the logical part of my brain
kicks in and is like, why don't you just sleep on it?
Yeah.
Why don't you just see how you feel tomorrow?
Why don't you sleep on your Jar Jar Binks bed and see how you feel?
Yeah.
Exactly.
Because you can control it with your iPhone.
You can move it back and forth.
You can have it set on patrol mode.
That's right.
You can record a hologram with it and view it on an iPad.
You can have them sponsor your 100th episode of the podcast
and talk about it.
Clearly.
That's such length.
But I'm just my i have to
wonder though and yeah we probably know already but can you the you know the idea of r2d2 with
up with a hologram projector is you send him somewhere and he projects the yeah the recorded
message sure can you send bb8 to someone else okay and have them watch your hologram i think
it's got a range of like 100 feet or something. Okay. But I mean, can they see your message on their phone
or do they need your phone?
Because if they need your phone, then that's kind of useless.
That's right.
Princess Leia would have had to take her phone to the side.
Yeah, exactly.
It'd be a case of, hey, come here.
See, I'm already being an asshole by just shoving this droid in your face.
See how annoying I'm being?
Well, also look at this other thing that it does.
Look, look at my phone. Look at my phone look what look it's a message from me
yeah to you i'm saying hi hi hi it's i'm in star wars i got a droid
would you buy any of these things uh i'd be a buy baby i look i want to get if there's one
thing i want one thing i want to get is like a classic best pin luke skywalker like statue if i was to get something like not a figure a statue
yeah like a you know like a what's that like a 12 inch whatever thing yeah yeah maybe like i might
get that one day but that that's or like a replica lightsaber thing but okay yeah but at the end of
the day i'll probably sleep on it and i'll get nothing. Sleep on it with your Lando Calrissian body pillow
and just come out of it and go, nah.
Oh, yeah.
Do you know on the Star Wars YouTube channel and website,
they did an 18-hour live stream unboxing?
I'm not surprised.
I tuned in and out of it and it was just people flipping out in the comments.
I think they did the first two unboxing in maybe it was maybe
two hours they unboxed maybe two things and the rest was just padding and look the hosts did a
really good job yeah but you can see by the end that they were just losing their minds because
they did they did 18 hours of this can you imagine if we had to do this for 18 hours
in front of people yeah and about star wars toys, can you imagine that? Like, full credit to them.
They did really, really well.
But like every hour and a half, two hours.
You know what they should do with prisoners in Guantanamo Bay?
They should make them host an 18-hour livestream Star Wars unboxing.
You want some bloody information out of them.
That's what you do.
That's what you do.
And every like hour and a half, two hours,
they'd cut to somewhere around the world.
Jay LaGaia did the Australian unboxing one.
And then like France would open a thing.
They went to like Germany and people were like,
Germans are the most boring people in the world.
Like there was a lot of that.
Sure.
And they'd cut to like France and they'd speak in French
and people would just explode.
Like I got this, I copied this comment.
This is all caps.
I'm ready.
I would rather surrender to the Nazis
and listen to them speak French any longer.
So there you go.
Brutal.
I also watched the count.
It was initially at 10,000
and then at the lowest point it was down to two
because I was in and out.
Two people.
And you were the other person.
I was the other one, yeah.
But look, full credit to them.
They did it.
But I think they could have probably done that in two hours.
Yeah.
Or less than two hours.
And people were also.
Or a number of minutes equal to the number of toys they produced.
Or a number of minutes equal to the number of toys they produced divided by two.
And then a couple of minutes for the BB-8.
Yeah.
Hey, look.
Hey, everyone.
It's Captain Phasma. Hey, everybody. It's Kylo Ren. Hey, everybody. It's Hey, look. Hey, everyone. It's Captain Phasma.
Hey, everybody.
It's Kylo Ren.
Hey, everybody.
It's a lightsaber.
Hey, everybody.
It's the other guy.
Here's the thing, and we're done.
See you.
Bye.
Stores are open everywhere except Australia.
I'm fairly certain everywhere else is fully stocked.
Oh, disappointing.
That's what I've heard.
If you want to see some unboxing videos, Mason,
just go to YouTube and type that in.
No, I won't.
I won't do that.
Oh, no. You can see all the instruction book in. No, I won't do that.
You can see all the instruction booklets. No.
You can watch a guy put together a Lego X-Wing in real time.
Great.
Do you want to talk about the Star Wars prequels?
Oh, that's what we're going to do this week.
By overwhelming majority,
our listeners want us to talk about star wars prequels this week
in our 100th episode yeah we're going to give it that 100th episode spin by that we're going to be
kind of tired the whole time that's it okay what do you want to know about the star wars prequels
okay this is how i thought we'd do it okay we go through each episode we talk about things that we
vaguely remember okay great can you remember the last time you saw these, by the way?
I have seen Phantom Menace once at the movies, I think.
Really?
You must have seen clips.
Unless I've seen it once.
Did we watch it on?
No, you know what?
We must have seen it on DVD.
Yeah.
We watched the special features together. We watched the special features together.
I think we didn't watch the movie, though.
We didn't watch the movie then.
Okay, right.
Okay, well, I've seen it once and I've seen,
and then a year later I saw the special features on dvd i saw the making of in 2000 couldn't have
been no i think it wasn't that long ago i reckon it was maybe five years ago really doesn't matter
does it how would you know when i was there oh okay right oh so we broke him out of storage to
watch him yeah which is weird because i don't own that that DVD, so I don't know where we got it from.
Anyway, I thought we could do, look.
It was a daring midnight raid on Toys R Us.
We stole all the prequel DVDs.
And the others I've seen, I think, didn't we watch them?
We watched those movies together, I'm fairly certain.
No, we didn't.
I know exactly.
I could tell you the exact people that I watched each one with.
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
I mean, maybe I saw it because I think I saw both of them twice at the cinema, all of them
twice.
Look, these movies are notoriously hated, right?
Sure.
I actually took a girl on a date to the Revenge of the Sith.
Wow.
And this-
Where is she now?
She's on my Facebook somewhere.
Great.
Lovely girl.
Yeah.
But I legitimately lost, like didn't bring my wallet.
Oh, I remember that. Yeah. We I legitimately lost, like didn't bring my wallet. Oh, I remember that.
Yeah.
We're not together, obviously.
Was that the day you, because I recall one time you went to pay for something
and you hadn't brought your wallet, but you'd taken a hip flask off the desk instead.
Yeah, I had a hip flask in my wallet pocket.
Yeah.
Dark days.
Dark days.
So not only did she have to sit through a terrible movie she was really excited for it huh yeah i remember i worked with her and
i was like excited for star wars and she was like oh my god yeah we should go see star wars together
whatever huh i was like all right you pay apparently that's not a move that i make mason
if you go on a date if you ask someone a date you should you should pay or at least and you know what and they should also offer to pay but you
but then you say i'll take care of this seems like a complicated dance it is a complicated dance but
it says a lot about a person if you go out with them and they don't even offer i think what should
happen is you offer to pay they also offer to pay yeah and then you let them and then no and then it
then it's it it becomes increasingly passive-aggressive over who's going to pay they also offer to pay yeah and then you let them and then no and then it then it's it it becomes increasingly passive-aggressive over who's going to pay and then there's a fist
fight okay yeah i'm down with that yeah it's like opening a car door for somebody it's a gesture
it's a sign of things to calm mason oh yeah yeah yeah just open your car door for someone just
anyone randoms on the street yeah anyway i thought we could do this because these are notoriously hated,
but they aren't without merit.
So what you do.
I would disagree.
I would say that some people love them and they are completely without merit.
Okay, sure.
We'll do the compliment sandwich.
You familiar with the compliment sandwich?
Oh, sure, yep, yep.
Where if you want to give something a crippling insult but suffer the blow,
you say something nice. Yes. You say the worst thing imaginable, and then you say something nice again.
Great.
Now, I feel the dilemma here will be is I will use up my one compliment right at the start, crushing insults for a very long time, and then I'll have nothing at the end.
So it'll be more an open-faced compliment sandwich.
Yeah. With what is it, with meat down or whatever.
Yeah, meat all the way down.
Jeez.
Well, we'll give it a go, won't we?
Yeah, we will.
Come on, Pat.
So Star Wars, hey?
Yeah, so I guess we start with episode one, The Phantom Menace.
Have we talked about my general attitude towards Star Wars?
Feel free to.
No, it's more that, like, I'm fascinated. It's not that I dislike Star Wars. It sounds like you No, it's more that I'm fascinated.
It's not that I dislike Star Wars.
Sounds like you dislike all these open-faced sandwiches you're giving us.
I'm more fascinated by Star Wars and Star Wars fandom
than I hate Star Wars, I feel.
I think Star Wars is very interesting.
Sure.
I feel that when...
I feel Star Wars has produced a lot of great expanded universe stuff.
I wouldn't say a lot, but some.
Some.
Some great video games, some great novels,
some comic books, all sorts of stuff like that.
Cartoons, that sort of thing.
But I think that it's interesting that when people say,
oh my God, I love Star Wars,
what they're generally referring to is the movies.
And I just think that's interesting
that they're saying that they love something
where two thirds of it is garbage.
I just think that's interesting that they're saying that they love something where two-thirds of it is garbage. I just think that's interesting.
Anyway, that's the positive part of my compliment sandwich.
So here we go, hey?
I don't know.
I think it's kind of a genius marketing move to just have blanketed the entire world
with Star Wars toys and action figures and whatever.
Well, that's how they did it.
Just to prop up appeals for this stuff and then – And that's how they did it. Just to prop up, appeal for this stuff and then...
And that's what they did because in 1977,
when the first one was released,
you couldn't then watch that at home.
There was like, you know,
videotapes were very early days
and I don't even know when they released Star Wars on video.
So you'd get the toys and you'd like recreate them
and that's how you get that burned into your brain forever.
You know what I mean?
That's very clever.
Sometimes families would sit down in the living room and just dad would get out
and the action figures and just recreate the scenes.
The action figures where nobody really looks like anybody.
Correct.
Everyone's got the same mold.
Yeah.
Anyway,
Star Wars episode one though,
obviously that was like when that got announced,
people lost their minds. I remember it was, it was a big deal because there hadn't been a Star Wars Episode I, though, obviously that was like when that got announced, people lost their minds.
Yeah, I remember.
It was a big deal because there hadn't been a Star Wars movie.
I think it was maybe announced in 96, 97, I want to say.
Probably 96.
Yeah, it would have been 96.
Or maybe even 95.
No, it was 96.
It was around.
It was.
I don't know.
Look, I don't know. This week, don't know. Look, this week James complains.
This week James thinks about years a lot.
Yeah.
That's what happens here.
That's what happens.
Do you remember being excited?
Yes.
Yeah.
Absolutely, yeah.
Yeah, because they were like, we're going to re-release them and then we're going to give you a bloody new Star Wars
and then it'll be bloody sick, guys.
The warning sign shouldn't have been how much he altered the originals,
in particular A New Hope.
Like that should have been how much he altered the the originals in particular a new hope like that
should have been we should have anticipated that the phantom menace would have phantom menaced
more so would we have though because look having having recently done an audio commentary for star
wars a new hope yes uh the. The 2011 version. Yeah.
The weekly, wait, what is it?
Weekly Planet Pod.
Bandcamp.com.
Weekly, the weekly.
Yeah, you're right, sorry.
Okay, great.
Oh, we're so good at this.
I think new listeners who are listening to this will be like,
wow, they definitely have done 100 episodes and not one episode.
You know what I mean?
But, yeah, like I think, I don't – because I think structurally
that movie definitely still held up.
There were some incredibly jarring moments where we switched
from great real-world 1977 backdrops to just this incredibly plasticky-looking
CGI Mos Eisley.
Yeah, with the same dinosaur yeah walking around but there's but
structurally that movie still held up and it was still a great action kind of movie and fun and
and great you know good dialogue and all that sort of stuff great hand soloing great hand
soloing good character interactions that whole thing yeah good tension you know good good but
i don't think anybody had any idea that what would happen if you just went full bore CGI and just –
because we didn't know.
Clearly Lucas went, I don't like how this movie is anymore.
I'm going to change it.
Yeah.
And the army of yes men went, of course you need to change it.
Let's do that and let's make more money with these new releases.
Yeah.
But I don't think anybody at that point had known to what degree george lucas was surrounded by yes men absolutely where he could just say
i want the jedi to go into a little submarine and go on into the water and meet some big giant
puffy fish men and have an adventure go through the planet core and for for everybody around him to just go
great good idea you know what i mean yeah yeah but would you doubt him being there you know what
having watched the i watched the i didn't re-watch the prequels i re-watched all the behind the scenes
stuff yeah great because i think that says a lot more about those movies i think that's true
movies themselves and there's a lot of kind of maybe i'm reading into it but there's a lot of kind of blank stares and like uncertainty when he'll say it like he'll say something like
jar jar's the funniest character that we've had and there's just kind of like a you know absolutely
yeah you know like it's those those are very interesting yeah the behind the scenes absolutely
they like that's on youtube you can just look that it's like an hour just fascinating great
turn this podcast off look we've had a hundred we've had a good run yeah but yeah no there's there's even and again i haven't seen
these make these behind the scenes for a very long time but i yeah at least but i definitely
recall there's a moment where they've completed the film yeah and they're showing it to some
executives or and the editor and the editor and some money people
and all that sort of stuff and producers.
And they show the whole film
and then it fade to black on the film, the credits.
And there's just a moment
where everybody just sort of looks around
and everybody's got this look that's like,
there's no time to fix this.
Like this is what we've got.
We cannot...
And Lucas even said that.
He's like, there's too much going on.
Yeah.
Because basically the story,
I'm going to jump ahead in the story, I guess,
but there's like four different scenarios happening
and it's very jarring jumping from one to the next
because you've got a space battle,
you've got a throne room battle,
and you've got, there's only three, I guess,
and there's also the-
Oh, and it's easy.
Yeah, there's the Darth Maul battle.
Oh, sorry, and the Gungan battle.
There we go.
And the taxation.
So much taxation.
But not only that, like, and they even say that.
One of the editors says, and he's like the original sound guy.
I think his name's Ben Burtt.
I might be wrong.
But he's incredibly talented.
He's incredibly interesting.
He goes, you've got Qui-Gon's death,
and then 90 seconds later you cut to buddy jar jar running
around a cgi field right i mean like it doesn't work no absolutely and he says that and then he
just kind of like whatever like right right like and look maybe we should go back to the start
let's go back to the start yeah so i look i think because at that point we'd had i think as as kids
or like young teens
or whatever we had, like I remember TIE Fighter came out in like 94.
Like we had, we had heaps of just great video games and stuff like that.
Jedi Knight games.
Jedi Knight games.
We were kind of, we were high on those.
And.
I bloody put in like six floppy disks.
Yeah.
Like, and the previews just, they looked great.
They did.
They looked, it was Star Wars, but it was kind of.
We've talked about this.
I've got a video where the best part of The Phantom Menace is the trailer.
Yeah.
And that's on my YouTube channel somewhere.
Right, right, right.
Okay.
Yeah.
Where it's just, it looks like Star Wars, but, you know, before that universe fell to
pieces, it's kind of this golden age.
Yeah.
I always find that kind of fascinating.
Yeah.
This like kind of romanticized version of the past.
Yeah.
And whatever. And you know what? Also romanticized version of the past and whatever.
And you know what?
Also, a lot of The Phantom Menace is-
A long time ago.
Certainly.
A long, long time ago.
A lot of the-
Like American Pie.
Like American Pie.
The Weird Al version.
The Weird Al version.
Oh, God.
There's a lot of practical stuff in that movie.
Really?
A lot of that stuff, like they built real cities, like miniatures and like real ships.
And like they obviously CGI'd most of the ships in space or whatever, but they built and and like they obviously cgi'd most of
the ships in space or whatever but they built models and and they do do that for a lot of the
other ones as well and there's a lot of puppeteering and the only cgi character is jar jar binks and
look he doesn't look that bad like the character like it's obviously dated that's not it's not
flawless but it's for the time it's still the compliment part of the compliment sandwich but that being said the story is a fucking disaster comprehensible yeah see for me the
because these are they're not they're children they're family films that's the thing yeah are
they though are they family films well then ultimately i think they're geared they have to
be geared towards families is anakin skywalker rolling into a pit of lava with no legs is that a family film well see that's
that's what i'm saying i'm saying what the intent is if you know you know star wars and lucas film
and all that sort of stuff they want the absolute maximum number of viewers they want the absolute
maximum number of people to purchase the toys yeah so it's got to be a family film. But Phantom Menace is a film that satisfies no one.
Yes.
And look, those movies, they've been picked to death.
In particular, Red Letter Media.
They do the definitive review of that.
Everybody's seen it.
If you haven't, you should definitely watch that.
That is a footlong compliment sandwich there.
Absolutely.
And for lack of a better word, they say that,
exactly what you said, they're trying to appeal
to everybody.
And they got Samuel L. Jackson because there's apparently something called the urban market.
Oh, yes.
And apparently, Lucasfilm, this is the assumption made by Red Letter Media that black people
don't like Star Wars.
So you put in Samuel L. Jackson and you've got the cool guy from Pulp Fiction being the
most boring man in the world in Star Wars
because he's not an interesting character in any of these movies.
So you've got your kid, bloody Jar Jar Binks rabbit
and your bloody Anakin Skywalker and you've got your space battles
and you've got your Jedi and you're appealing to everybody
and like you said, in doing so, it appeals to nobody.
Just appealing to no one because the kids aren't going to like,
because I remember at the time
seeing it yeah and i remember a lot every major newspaper gave it five stars i remember that yeah
and i'm like well all right and then i went in and i'm like and i just sort of i was like oh there's
so many the great lightsaber battles and you know there's yeah i've seen him in the trailer it's
gonna be amazing and then it was just this drag in between lightsaber battles.
Yeah.
I remember thinking, even in the cinema, well, I guess I'll just deal with this until there's
another lightsaber battle.
Because I'm like, well, there has to be at least one more.
You've seen the trailer.
I've seen the trailer.
There has to be at least one more where this Darth Maul guy fights Qui-Gon Jinn or whatever.
There's your bloody compliment sandwich. There's my compliment sandwich. Darth Maul. Yeah this Darth Maul guy fights. Yeah. Qui-Gon Jinn or whatever. There's your bloody compliment sandwich.
There's my compliment sandwich.
Darth Maul.
Yeah.
Darth Maul's an amazing character.
That's true, yeah.
The concept.
Sure, yeah.
Execution, not so much.
The design-wise, yeah, is incredible.
And you know, Ray Park is really good as Darth Maul.
But touching on those lightsaber fights, I didn't notice this so much at the time because
I walked out of that, I enjoyed it.
I was like, I think I liked that.
It's one of these things where you're like,
yeah, it was because it was cool
because there were lightsabers and whatever.
But you obviously were like...
Even at the time.
Yeah.
I think we've talked about this before,
but I was in high school at the time
and I went out of it and I saw it
and I'm bitterly disappointed. And then on the Monday, I went out of it and I saw it and I'm bitterly disappointed.
And then on the Monday, I went to class and there was a guy reading the hardcover Phantom
Menace novelization.
Sure.
I think it had Anakin on the cover.
You could get different covers.
Oh, okay.
Right.
So it might've been the Anakin you can switch over to Darth Maul or whatever.
Anyway, and so this guy was just reading it, getting through it.
Furiously.
Furiously, furiously, yeah.
And I'm like, whew, Phantom Menace, eh?
And he's like, I've seen it 10 times.
And I'm like, you've what?
How is that even possible?
I don't know.
I reckon maybe he saw it twice Friday night and then three times, I don't know.
Well, movies open Thursday here, don't they? Yeah, exactly, yeah. So I guess he saw it two or three times then three times. I don't know. The movie's open Thursday here, don't they?
Yeah, exactly.
I guess he saw it two or three times a day in four days.
Yes.
And I'm like, wow, that's all right.
That's like $120.
Yeah, I know.
For a kid.
Yeah.
No, it's more.
It's $204.
Movie tickets wouldn't have been $20 then, would they?
No.
Who knows, mate?
But yeah, look, I can say without varnishing over history, I hated it at the time. 240 movie tickets wouldn't be 20 bucks then would they? No. Who knows, mate? The story,
like I can say without Vaughn,
without vanishing over history.
Yeah.
I hated it at the time.
Did you,
did you tell people that though?
Yeah.
Cause we knew each other then.
Yeah.
Didn't we?
But I don't remember having this conversation.
I was probably like,
I probably wasn't listening.
Absolutely.
I was too busy thinking about all those sweet bloody sword fights,
mate.
Yeah.
And those hilarious Jar Jar Binks shenanigans.
Look,
Jar Jar Binks isn't great. Look, Jar Jar Binks
isn't great, is he?
No.
But he's not the problem
with that movie.
He's one of the problems.
No, look, I think that
he would be
C-3PO style comic relief.
Like in the first one,
C-3PO was quite annoying.
Yeah.
Like in A New Hope.
Yeah.
But because the rest
of the movie is, you know,
flows really well
and it's great action
and stuff like that,
you go, ah, it's just, it's fine. He's the scapegoat. Shut up and we'll move on. He's the scapegoat, really. and it's great action and stuff like that. You go, ah, it's fine.
Shut up and we'll move on.
He's the scapegoat, really.
Yeah, exactly.
But in this movie, if this movie were good,
he'd be like, ah, just, yeah, all right, he's kind of, whatever, who cares.
That's not the best part of it.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, but in this, the...
Yeah, look, the problem with the prequels is,
and I've said this before and I'll say it again,
there's no Harrison Ford, the actor. there's no han solo the character and i don't mean exactly like i don't want a junior han solo i don't want a 12 year old han solo we'll talk about that yeah
but what you need is an act you need a character yeah who is a counterpoint who's like this is dumb
like all of this is dumb even if all the other Even if he's wrong, you need a character to say that.
So in your brain, you can accept that and move on.
Exactly.
It's called hanging a lampshade.
Hanging a lampshade, yeah.
Or hanging a lantern sometimes.
Yeah, that's right.
And it's a case of, like in A New Hope, you've got Han Solo saying,
there's no mystical energy field that controls my destiny.
This is all dumb.
What are you, a dickhead?
Yeah, what are you, a dickhead?
Get your bloody, why do I have this weird laser shooting drone
just in my ship for you to practice on?
What's going on there?
I think the implication is that Obi-Wan brought it with him.
Oh, fine.
I'll get to that.
Okay, great.
But yeah, but in this movie, people are like,
he's got so many midichlorians in him
and nobody's like that's stupid where are these where are these midichlorians from
what's happening like there's no and again there's no harrison ford famously said you can write this
shit but you're sure as hell can't say it regarding all the dialogue in the star wars movies yes and
there's again there's presumably everybody who was cast in these movies is like.
I love Star Wars.
I love Star Wars.
I'm excited.
I'm excited.
This is going to be a really great opportunity.
Most of them didn't read the script because there was no script.
Yeah, exactly.
Everybody, you know, everybody in the world's going to see me.
This is going to be great.
Yeah.
And again, modern day movies, especially sci-fi movies,
I reckon it'd be hard to tell if you're in a good movie or not.
Like when you're there, just you're there and there's green screen and there's half-built sets.
You're talking to nobody.
You've got a costume that's, again, half-built.
There's some green stuff on it.
You're talking to a piece of paper with an X on it
or a man with like a fish on his head,
like a man in a ping pong ball suit with a fish on, you know,
and they're like, talk to the fish on his head or whatever.
Like you would have no idea.
You've got some, you know, you'd be like, well, it's Lucasfilm,
so probably pretty good.
It seems like there's a lot of money behind this.
Yeah, but again, until you see the film completed and edited,
there's no way to know whether it's going to be good or not
or if it's going to look like garbage.
That's right. If they decide to underspend good or not or it's going to look like garbage that's right if they if they decide to underspend on the cgi it's going
to look like garbage and you're going to be standing in the middle of a pile of garbage
so did you know there's an actual there's an extra bit at the end there's going to be another
finale going on right there do you know the long-headed jedi oh yes key muriandi i think
his name is i mean, that is his name.
Right, right.
I'm not probably saying it right.
Scalpso Grande is his name.
Scalpso Grande, who's also one of the viceroys, who, by the way, are the dumbest assholes
in the galaxy.
I'll get back to that.
Okay, right.
He takes one of the Trade Federation ships.
Uh-huh.
Like, he goes in with a lightsaber.
And so that footage exists somewhere.
Okay.
And, you know, I would like to see it just to be like, yeah, they probably shouldn't
have included this. Yeah. okay the yoda puppet yes
it's it's wrong yeah it is yeah because it it's it's say it's about 30 years between
this and a new hope uh give or take right it looks way different and i know he looks he's
supposed to look different right but it doesn't even look like him.
It looks like he's, I don't know, like he's weird crack addict brother or something.
I don't know.
Like he's really, he's too skinny and his head doesn't, like his head's too small and it doesn't work.
And then they made the mistake of not only butchering that, but then in the next one going to CGI Yoda, which we'll get back to.
Okay, great.
And then they also, then they redid Phantom Menace
and they put CGI Yoda back over the top of it.
Oh, okay.
So they edited the Phantom Menace.
So having not re-watched them multiple times,
I did not know that.
Well, I genuinely haven't watched that movie.
So did they add more CGI to Phantom Menace in its re-release?
Yeah, yeah.
Well, they released it in 3D a couple of years ago.
I didn't go see it.
I probably haven't seen it for 10 years.
Yeah, right, okay.
But boy, it still burns.
But that's the thing though.
It doesn't really...
At the end of the day, I don't care that these aren't good.
No, that's fine.
Exactly.
Realistically, I spent 10 bucks on it at the time
and I haven't seen it again.
So ultimately, it makes zero difference to me.
There's no reason for me to get mad at this.
And I love Star Wars.
And you know what?
If this new one turns out terrible, I'll be kind of like, oh, that sucks.
What if it's just a movie?
I feel that's the problem.
Not if it's a great movie, not if it's a Phantom Menace-style pile of garbage.
Because if it is, people will be like, well, remember what happened last time?
You've learned your lesson.
But if it's just a movie.
Say like Age of Ultron for you or something like that.
It's fine.
Honestly, I don't yeah i i
don't really get stung anymore right maybe it's because i'm getting older or whatever i don't
know but it's just like yeah because because you know what there's always it's gonna be
like another movie in whatever franchise yeah like we had mad max this year and mad max is great yeah
and there'll be something as good as mad max, maybe not next year, but probably the year after.
You know, whatever.
It doesn't matter.
Exactly.
None of this matters.
None of it.
Episode 100.
Anyway.
But yeah, look, the problem with The Phantom Menace is
it's boring.
Yes.
That's number one.
The characters forget what powers they have.
Correct.
Which is a pet peeve of mine.
Super speed.
Well, exactly.
There's a moment right at the start
yeah qui-gon jinn and obi-wan kenobi are fighting some droids and they use their super speed a sudden
burst of super speed to get across a room or what have you yeah or down a hallway or whatever it is
yeah and then later right at the end of the film obi-wan qui-gon jinn is fighting darth maul yep
and obi-wan cannot get to him because of a series of video
game style laser doors that he's not fast enough to get through.
It's a Super Metroid level.
Yeah, unless he could use some sort of super speed.
Yeah.
And he could very easily have done it, but he doesn't.
He must have used it all.
I must have used all of this.
His super speed meter might have been down.
Might have been low.
But you know, it's very telling as well in this, behind the scenes.
Yep.
There's a bit where George Lucas is sitting with that same editor who says, this tonally
is all over the place.
Right.
And they're sitting there and George Lucas is like, look, I like the performance of that
actor in this particular take of this scene, but I don't like what the person next to him
does.
So can you take those two different performances
and put them together?
And the guy's like, it's great that we can do that,
but then he's telling the audience this.
But then that opens up way too many choices
in terms of direction.
Like he's micro-editing and micro-directing a movie.
And it used to be like, you're not happy with that take,
but it's good enough.
Yeah.
We already spent enough on film stock.
Yeah.
So this is what we got.
This is what it is.
We did two takes.
You can choose one of the two takes.
And the scene they were even doing it in,
it was the most inconsequential scene of all time.
They're all standing in the cockpit as they've left bloody Naboo or whatever.
And Captain Panaka, who was a nobody character, he sits down too early and he's like, well,
I don't like how he sits down early.
So can you just make him stand there?
And then that person is going to exit screen left and then he'll just be standing there.
Right.
It's like, who the, what are you, who fucking cares?
Nobody cares about this.
Right.
What are you doing?
Like, it's, it's madness.
And okay, here's, here's, here's, here's a compliment.
Oh, okay. Yeah, here's a compliment. Oh, okay, yeah.
There's a deleted...
It's more a sprinkling of compliments over a sandwich made of just feces.
There's a deleted Greedo scene with Kid Greedo.
Kid Greedo.
And Kid Greedo is in this movie, technically.
He's one of Anakin's little supporters when he's winning the bloody pod race.
What do you think of the pod race, actually?
Ah, look.
It's a good video game.
Have you ever played that on 64? Never, look. It's a good video game.
Is it? Have you ever played that on 64?
Never, no.
It's pretty solid now.
No, I was never a 64 fan.
You.
I know, right?
So, the issue I have with the pod race.
Yeah.
Well, there's probably heaps.
Sebulba.
Sebulba.
He was too dastardly.
It's kid actors talking to, like it's a kid character talking to himself.
Like, yay, I'm winning the race. You know, it's one of those, it's a bit of that exposition. That's kid actors talking to, like it's a kid character talking to himself. Like, yay, I'm winning the race.
You know, it's one of those, it's a bit of that exposition.
That's what I hate.
I hate not so much the pod race, but the overarching idea that in Star Wars,
Obi-Wan says, I met Anakin when he was a pilot or whatever.
And he was the best pilot I've ever seen.
And so they were like, okay, we've got kid Anakin.
We have to make him some sort of pilot.
Yeah.
Let's make him a pod race pilot because that's, we can't have him.
You know what I mean?
And the weirdest thing is Obi-Wan's not even there.
He's on the ship.
Yeah, he's on the ship.
Why did they even make the character of Qui-Gon?
Why couldn't he be Obi-Wan where Obi-Wan finds him and goes, this kid is messed up.
Right.
He shouldn't even be a kid.
That's a mistake right there.
But if you're going to do that, why put Qui-Gon in?
They just put him in to have someone to kill.
I had a conversation with somebody about this the other day,
that the problem with the fandom, look, there's so many problems
with these prequels.
Stop saying that.
Yeah, I know, I shouldn't.
Is that from the, you know, the last one came out in,
Return of the Jedi came out in 83.
Yeah, 83.
And then we had The Phantom Menace in?
99.
99.
So we had 16 years of people,
and we had three movies of people going,
okay, well, I met Anakin when he was the greatest pilot I've ever seen.
Served him in the Clone Wars.
Clone Wars, Kessel Run, all this sort of,
all this backstory
that we can imagine jango fett someone said jango fett at some point absolutely
and so we had yeah so so there was 16 years yeah where people want more if you can't you know from
77 yeah where fans of star wars imagined what happened prior to that. And there's no way that any movie, no matter how good,
could have lived up to that.
And so it's ultimately very disappointing that those movies were total crap.
So would you say that's what's going to happen with Force Awakens?
No.
Why?
I think that we're in a good era of, and I've talked about this with Doctor Who before,
where we've got people who created it originally,
they're still around.
We've got people who grew up as fans of it,
who've sort of seen...
The J.J. Abrams.
Yeah, J.J. Abrams.
Yeah.
Who've seen maybe there's some problems that they need to surmount
and stuff like that, who love the original stuff,
who've been waiting years to build to, you know, build their own story in that universe.
And they,
they're very good at remembering what was great and what they loved about it.
And then sort of concentrating that all together kind of thing.
Concentrating like the force.
Yeah.
They'll get your midi-chlorians in line.
Just put an old pile of them all up the midi-chlorians.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
No,
I think they're going to be,
I think it's going to be pretty good.
I remember being bored during that pod race and it's technically amazing no i also remember
being bored yeah yeah it goes for too long there's too many laps just have one lap yeah
qui-gon rigs that races that doesn't rig the race he rigs the dice everything's rigged about that's
there's yeah it's amazing because he walks in he he's like, can I have this hyperdrive?
And he's like, no.
And he's like, can I use this boy and have a race?
And he's like, yeah, okay.
Sure, yeah.
So what is...
He should just go, see this?
This is a laser sword.
I'm from the Republic.
I'll kill you.
Yeah.
Give me that.
I'll send you the money.
Because, yeah, morally speaking,
Qui-Gon Jinn is quite a bad person he bankrupted
a small disheveled jewish man wings he's and he is a he's like a stereotypical kind there's a lot
of stereo money grubbing there's a lot of and i don't want to get into any specifics but if
there's a lot of weird stereotypic there's a lot of weird ethnic stereotypes disguised as aliens
in this movie especially.
Less so in the other two, but boy.
And yeah, because he's got Wingsy Snout or whatever his real name is.
Watto.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Who's just this junk deal.
He might very well be a shady junk deal.
Well, you know what?
He set them up in a nice home.
Yeah.
I mean, they had bombs in their head.
Oh, sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, he's not really touched on much.
But the first thing Qui-Gon does is just to try and force,
just mind trick, Jedi mind trick him.
And then he's like, oh, my powers don't work on this guy.
Yeah.
Hey, how about I negotiate to have this child in a pod race or whatever?
Like what's stopping him from going out into the street and saying,
everyone give me all your money?
Yes.
Like morally that's-
It's the same thing, isn't it?
It's the same thing, I feel.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Or again, the lightsaber cut you in half kind of situation.
If this guy's a bad guy.
Also, they could have.
Plenty of chopping to bits.
And I think Red Letter Media said this.
They could be like, we have a Naboo cruiser.
Yeah.
Can you just give us literally anything and you can have this.
Yeah, yeah.
Like we just need to get however many parsecodus also and you were there obviously when we saw this and we stopped and talked about it
when you watch the anakin skywalker um auditions yep the guy they give it to is not the best guy
no he's not the best actor yeah it was quite obvious like we we see them both deliver the
same we see two child both deliver the same.
We see two child actors deliver the same bit of dialogue.
And it's that are you an angel nonsense.
Yeah.
And one of them really sells it.
Yeah.
Well.
Yeah.
You know.
You know.
And look, again, that's not Jake Lloyd's fault.
Like this is, like that dude got a bad rap.
Yeah.
And it's not on him either.
Like it's unfair that he's, you know, that things have turned out the way that it has for him that really sucks
he'd get that shit every day every day imagine that yeah bloody hell man blame the parents
yeah yeah anyway the grito deleted scene oh sorry i forgot about the grito deleted scene all right
which is it's amazing that they cut this out where after the after the pod race qui-gon
comes across grido kid grido and kid anakin skywalker fighting in the street right and he's
like he breaks it up and he's like what the hell is this and anakin's like this son of a bitch said
that i cheated in the race which he technically did i guess because he's got the full sword but i guess he didn't it's not important and he's and qui-gon's
like hey kid do you think he cheated and he's like yeah and anakin and he's like to anakin he's like
did you cheat he's like no and he's like who cares let's go doesn't matter who cares what he thinks
and then that's kind of cool because it's kind of like yeah it's a good point message for kids
or whatever and then he walks away and someone goes,
one day you'll get in trouble, Greedo.
That's on YouTube.
Great.
Find it.
Fantastic.
Pretty good.
So good work on cutting that out.
Yeah, definitely.
All in all.
And then, of course, we have to,
another way to show that Anakin is an amazing pilot is
by accidentally getting into a spaceship and then accidentally destroying another spaceship,
right?
And then again, there's a bit more classic, I'm in a spaceship.
I'm flying the space.
Oh, I've blown up all the other spaceships.
I made her do a roll in the spaceship.
Yeah.
Awful.
Terrible.
It really is.
And you know what?
It's pretty much a beat for beat and you hope.
Not in a good way.
But like you got the big space battle.
You got your bloody medal ceremony at the end and whatever.
You got your farm boy who's got a heart of gold.
And you got your funny droids.
You're going to the moss ice lake.
You're doing the stuff.
Yeah. Anyway, we to the stuff. Yeah.
Anyway, we've got two more of these.
Oh, yeah.
What else do I hate about Phantom Menace?
We could always come back to it.
Yeah, it's true.
If I have any thoughts about Phantom Menace and why I hate it.
I feel these next two are just going to blur together slightly.
They're not as bad.
I disagree.
All right.
I think episode two is easily the worst Star Wars movie.
Wow.
All right.
And I've said this before.
It's even in that Phantom Menace video I did.
It should know better.
Oh, yes.
Building off the back of what happened in the first one and the things that people hated.
And look, he did make an attempt in many ways because he scaled Jar Jar Binks like right back.
Oh, yeah.
Like that was a clear response.
But he also made him, I think,
as a kind of screw you to the audience.
He's the one who gives the Chancellor powers.
That's right, yeah.
To be like...
I don't even think that that was a...
Like, I don't think scaling down of Jar Jar
was a narrative decision.
I think that was a merchandising decision.
I think there would have been, across the world,
there would have been, across the world, there would have been like one million unsold Jar Jar Binks toys
and plushies and action figures.
Just go to any Australian Toys R Us and you'll find them.
In 2015.
And I think they're like, well, look, he's still definitely the funniest character,
but he's not selling, so he's out.
He's out, yeah, yeah.
Have you seen the push pop Jar Jar Binks thing?
His mouth opens and his tongue's a lollipop and you...
And you French him.
You French him.
We haven't even...
What do you think of Ewan McGregor's Obi-Wan?
It's serviceable.
Like it's good.
He's as good as he can be yeah i think he nails the voice he
nails the mannerism he looks like him yeah but he like he does as good as he can do like i feel like
he got out of this pretty unscathed yeah yeah and you know his uncle was in star wars his uncle is
where jantillies there you go dennis lawson i think his name is who advised him not to do these
movies right which is which we've talked about before but look you know what's weird about what His uncle is Wedge Antilles. There you go. Dennis Lawson, I think his name is, who advised him not to do these movies.
Right.
Which we've talked about before.
But look, you know what's weird about...
What do you think of Amidala?
Just as a character?
Sure, or an actor.
Look, again, it's hard to say
because they're all crippled by this woeful dialogue.
Yeah.
It's just...
Especially...
Does Attack of the Clones feature the,
I hate the sand because it's so rough, that speech.
Yeah.
So the last time you saw this was in 2002.
Must have been, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
This one I walked out and I went, I had the same reaction to the first one.
I was like, nah, that wasn't good in any way.
I don't even know what that was.
Because, you know, a lot of it is, despite how big it is in the scope
and they're walking down these massive,
expansive Jedi temple corridors
and they're on this amazing bug planet and whatever,
it feels like it was filmed in a cupboard.
Like there's no depth of, I don't know,
it's not the sound design because, you know,
you kind of get your echoes in your hallways or whatever.
It's just, it does, everything looks flat.
Yes, absolutely. It was, it's it's that golden era of we can cgi anything we want
yeah but never question why we whether we should or not yeah that kind of thing and so you could
build a cgi city yeah but it didn't have enough texture to look real that's right like if you if
you're willing to suspend disbelief,
you'd be like, oh, okay, this is kind of a stylised universe.
Yeah.
Or maybe you could go, okay, well, it's the past,
so we're seeing everything in a kind of a golden, you know,
with rose-coloured glasses or what have you.
But it didn't, and because the rest of the movie is so bad,
all the dialogue's bad and the plot's bad and everything else is awful.
Yeah.
It's just another thing to add to the pile. You know what I mean? If the acting was great and the plot's bad and everything else is awful. Yeah. It's just another thing to add to the pile.
You know what I mean?
If the acting was great and the plot was great and you're like,
this is an amazing action movie.
Yeah.
The city looks kind of weird.
Yeah.
You'd be like, yeah, but look at everything else.
Exactly, yeah.
Look at Dexter Jetster.
Look at Dexter Jetster.
There's too many.
Look how many arms he has.
There's too many CGI characters in this.
And then even things like, and again george lucas what an
amazing guy like i genuinely mean that like he'll go in and there's like different heads for dexter
jetstar and they're like which dexter jetstar do you like and he's like well there's a very pivotal
role and whatever he's not yeah it doesn't mean none of that means anything but he picks up again
he could have his exposition could be on a post-it note. Yes. Or a terminal, like he just...
Obi-Wan just looks something up.
Well, he does.
He looks something up because he's like,
where's the planet Kamino?
And it's like, it's not here.
So he goes,
I guess I'll go speak to my friend Dexter Jetster.
He's like, no, it's there.
It's in this place.
Right, right.
He's like, okay.
They just wanted to put a weird, like, 1950s diner in there.
Yeah, exactly.
So he could...
That's saying...
If you wanted to just do a quick edit of Attack of the Clones,
you could just have cut to the terminal,
where's Kamino?
It's here.
Great.
And then just cut to him in Kamino, right?
Exactly.
I mean, I guess because Kamino's been wiped from the archive
by the Emperor or whoever.
Right.
Or Cipher Deus.
In this scenario, it hasn't been.
Yes.
Right?
Okay, sure.
It's just there, just going about its been. Yes. Right? Okay, sure. Yep. It's just there
just going about its business.
So,
like even in the Dexter Jester scene,
there's a scene where they hug.
Yep.
And they CGI out Obi-Wan
and put
Ewan McGregor's real head
onto a fake body
so they could like hug convincingly.
Excellent.
But also,
and he takes the two Dexter Jets to sculpt
and he's like,
well, I like the bottom
of this head
but I like the top
of that one
so can you just
put them together?
It's like,
just pick one.
It doesn't matter.
Yeah.
What is his
aesthetic sense based on?
That's interesting.
Exactly.
I don't,
I can't.
Because would you be like,
oh, he's,
yes, it's weird.
This universe of yes men. So that's why I'm's, yes, it's weird, this universe of yes-men.
So that's why I'm fascinated by it because it's not like back in the day
they released an Obi-Wan figure that Lucas designed,
an Obi-Wan figure that somebody else designed,
and the Lucas one outperformed that in sales 10,000 to one or whatever.
Like there's never been a test.
So it's just like Lucas going, yeah, the top of that and the bottom of that yeah as if it makes
a difference in terms of merchandise sales or anything like that it wouldn't no absolutely
close enough it's fine it's fine so people are like well he knows what he's took i don't know
and you know what's amazing as well and i forgot to mention mr the phantom menace well go back to
the phantom there's a bit where they give Obi-Wan his braid.
Because you know the Padawan, which is a dumb name,
have a braid to show that they're Jedis in training.
Except initially he's got two.
He's got one on each side of his head like pippy long stockings.
And George Lucas goes,
see the trick for this is not to overdo it and not go too far.
And then at the end after the screening,
he literally says, I think I've gone too far. then at the end after the screening he literally says i think i've gone too far amazing
amazing anyway attack of the clothes but look only one braid please don't go insane it did
look ridiculous attack of the clothes that's great another thing why do they need to make
him weird monk men weird sexless monk monk men? Yeah. Why can't...
Because it is weird.
What's the story for Attack of the Clones?
I can't remember.
Do you want me to break it down for you?
Refresh my memory.
Okay.
So it's 10 years after The Phantom Menace.
Great.
Obi-Wan, mullet now, because he's got rid of his brain, he's got a sweet mullet, is training
Anakin Skywalker, who's, say, 19.
Yep.
Who's now his kind of apprentice, and he's just a big baby.
Yes, everybody's a big baby in this movie.
Yeah.
Like we said, everybody talks and acts like children.
Yes.
The Queen is no longer the Queen because you elected the Queen in Naboo,
but she's a senator of Naboo.
Yep.
And the Trade Federation are trying to – or someone is trying to kill her.
It's clearly the Trade Federation.
Oh, absolutely.
And the Separatists or whatever are trying to kill her because, for whatever reason.
So it opens with an assassination attempt.
And then Obi-Wan and Anakin are instructed to protect her.
And then Jango Fett pays a different bounty hunter to put worms through a window.
And then there's like a-
Oh, is that in two?
I always remember that as being in three.
But all right, the worms through the window is two.
And then there's a space- PSA, everybody. If you're looking for the worms through the window assassination scene, it that in 2? I always remember that as being in 3. But all right, the worms through the window is 2. And then there's a space.
PSA, everybody.
If you're looking for the worms through the window assassination scene,
it's in 2.
Don't waste your time with 3.
Then there's a really long chase scene through Blade Runner.
Yep.
And then Anakin jumps from his speeder.
Oh, it's his car.
His flying car.
Yep.
And he goes, I'll be right back.
And he leaps 200 feet and lands
exactly on the bounty hunter's ship right and obi-wan's like oh i hate it when he does here we
go again exactly like that kind of like that's a common thing yeah how like it's it's again an
example of what powers do you have right what what can and can't you do yes so you can drop 200 feet
with no consequence yep but you can't like jump over a man in a lava pit or something.
It's just so...
Isn't it, though?
Again, I enjoy the idea of that, of kind of swashbuckling and daring do,
but there's superpowers involved.
I like that idea.
Yeah.
But you need a unified set of rules.
I don't have a problem with somebody leaping 200 feet and landing on someone.
As long as it doesn't have...
As long as he breaks every bone in his body?
Yes.
No, bones can be fine.
But as long as later on there isn't a scene where it would be good for him to leap out of a pit of lava and then he can't do it for some reason.
You know what I mean?
Absolutely.
Yeah.
And look, and also how do i how
do you worry about a character being hurt for one you know he's darth vader so he's not gonna
die but you also know that he can drop 200 feet and be fine yeah so how why do i care whether
he's okay on top of him being a big baby oh sure yeah i'm not invested in this invincible baby
like i don't care would you enjoy a film called invincible baby. I don't care.
Would you enjoy a film called Invincible Baby?
Yes, I would.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Okay, if they were like,
you can watch Star Wars The Force Awakens or Invincible Baby.
That's all the information you have.
You can only watch one.
Which do you choose?
I have to watch The Force Awakens, unfortunately.
Invincible Baby does sound amazing.
What if it's called George Lucas' Invincible Baby?
Again, I have to watch the Force Awakens.
I'm sorry.
Would you choose Invincible Baby over Force Awakens?
I'd have to see a poster.
Anyway, I'm still telling the story, I guess.
Okay, great.
Obi-Wan, they find out this bounty hunter was hired by a different bounty hunter
who's Boba Fett's father, but he's actually his clone of him.
He's not really his father.
They're just the same guy at different ages, which is odd.
And then Obi-Wan goes to Kamino where he finds out that a Jedi
that we never see called Cipher Deus commissioned a Republic army to be made
10 years prior.
Okay.
Presumably at the request of Palpatine or Dooku.
Yes.
Though that's never explained in the movies.
Oh.
I know it's explained in the books.
Yeah.
I can't remember why though.
Also, those books don't count anymore.
No, so it doesn't.
Yeah.
So it's just a loose plot thread now.
Yes.
Obi-Wan then goes to Kamino where he fights...
Which is the weird water planet, right?
No, that's Geonosis.
Okay, right.
He goes from Geonosis to Kamino, which is a...
It's Tatooine with red rocks.
Oh, right.
And then he fights Jango Fett with his guitar bombs.
Oh, yes.
Remember that?
Yes, I do.
They're cool, actually.
They've got that sweet sound effect.
And then he gets captured by Geonosis.
remember that yes they're cool actually all right yeah in effect and then he gets captured by geonosis meanwhile anakin is has to take palpatine to space venice which is naboo yeah and they fall
in love and they roll around in a field yeah and have terrible dialogue and then they realize
obi-wan's being captured by dooku so they go there and they show down with the droid army
and then all the jedi turn up and then all the clones turn up and then all the clones turn up. And then at the end, they're like,
I guess we have a clone army now.
Let's not look into this.
Never.
Why would you?
Count Dooku is also a Sith villain.
Yeah.
So we never see,
we never see or hear from Cypher Deus.
Right.
So he wasn't Darth Sidious.
No.
He was a real Jedi that died because everyone gets there and he goes, and they're like, hey, great to see you.
We've got your New Zealand army.
Yeah, yeah.
Do you want to see it?
And he's like, yeah, yeah, I guess.
And then he's like, who commissioned this?
And they're like, bloody Cypher Deus.
And he's like, that dude's been dead for 10 years.
Right.
And then it's never explained.
Yeah, great.
So, you know what was
really off-putting about this movie as well what's that compared to the phantom menace and
the originals it's filmed in australia yeah so i'm just like i know that guy yeah he's in that
show he's that guy's in that show whatever that's kick gurry i assume is he in that i don't know
apparently nudge from um oh from hey dad is in it i haven't
seen him but yeah and i find that really distracting where i'm like captain typho is
the guy from water rats you know what i mean but that's me that's a personal thing that's that's
that's not a slide against the the movie in that way younglings what do you think of that where
obi-wan goes into the room and all they're all
being trained by yoda and they've all got lightsabers and they've got little lightsabers
and little blast shields from a new hope and they're all got little they're blocking yeah
and they've all got they're all wearing the little robes yeah i hate it yeah
which again takes away from A New Hope because whatever.
You know what I hate the most?
No.
I can't definitively say you know what I hate the most about because I'll think about something else and I'll hate the most.
What I hate the most about the prequels and sort of the expanded universe stuff
is that everybody's got a destiny and everything calls yeah. And everything calls back to everything else.
Yeah.
Some things can just be.
Yes.
The scene on the Millennium Falcon where Luke Skywalker puts the inexplicable blast shield
down on his helmet and fights the little flying droid thing.
Just let that be.
Yeah.
It doesn't have to be a call forward to all the little Jedi's being trained in a prequel
and they all have exactly the same thing.
And that implies that Obi-Wan had that on him
and it didn't look like he had a satchel.
It did not.
That's all I'm saying.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Or like R5-D4 being a Jedi droid who was going to be purchased
by Uncle Owen from the Jawas but then-
He realised destiny. The destiny required Uncle Owen to purchase R2-D2,
so he blew himself up.
You know what I mean?
What an amazing sacrifice.
Quit it with the destiny.
You know what I mean?
Or Greedo getting into trouble,
and then he'd get into real trouble one day
and have Han Solo steal his vest.
Which is a real...
We talk about that in the commentary.
We do, yeah.
Oh, boy.
What do you think of the love scene stuff?
I mean, I know you don't like it.
Atrocious.
Atrocious.
Is it the dialogue or is it the acting?
Or is it both?
I don't know if it's the acting.
I mean, it's,
because again,
what are they going to,
they're rolling around
in a big green pit,
I assume.
Imagine just like a skateboard.
What they would have had to have
is just like a skateboard half pipe painted have had to have is just like a
skateboard half pipe painted green and they're just at the bottom of that you know what i mean
actually that scene in the field is real like that's actually a real scene well then i blame
the acting yes if you're in a real scenario come on but there's you can't say that stuff though
no like and there's a scene where like he's like she's like what do you think of politics and
he's like i think they should just be a guy who just tells everybody what to do and she's like
isn't that like being a dictatorship and he's like ah maybe and then they kind of roll around
right yeah and it's just the most forced forced thank you yeah that that whole thing is oh it's
really and it's so and we'll get to it in the next one, but it's just this weird, like it's this weird, super
romantic sense of love when no logic applies to it.
Like there's no, like there's these two people in love, but no thought about the rest of
the universe.
Yeah.
We'll talk about it in turn three.
And not only that that he can't love
because he's a Jedi
because I guess
they're priests
which is dumb
in itself
and she can't love
because she's a senator
I was
yeah
like when
isn't Bail Organa married
he's a senator
yeah
anyway go on
but just
you know
when I saw the original
Star Wars movies
because we don't know
anything about the Jedi really,
it's just a couple of leftovers, you know, kind of thing.
The scraps.
Yeah, I was assuming the Jedi were kind of like Green Lanterns.
Yeah.
In that they all had the same sort of...
They all had the Schwartz.
They all had the Schwartz, yeah.
They all had the same pool of, you know,
the force to draw from and use their different powers.
Sure.
But they came from all different walks of life.
Some were droids.
Some were droids.
Some were vests.
Some were fishmen.
Some were whole planets or whatever.
But they all came from different cultures.
They all had different looks and different kind of things.
Maybe they were all found and trained at very young ages,
but in different cultures.
There were different cultures of Jedi masters and whatever.
But to just put them all into this weird monk order, I don't like it.
I've never liked it.
I agree.
Why can't they just be like cops, like you said?
Yeah.
Why do they have to have a weird code that doesn't make any sense
and would just turn them against you?
Yeah.
Because they clearly, and I guess you could draw a lot of parallels to like modern day religion where they've got
let's not get too creepy i know but i'm just talking about in terms of that well because
again they talk about it the jedis used to be this amazing force for good and now they're just
kind of this dogma right right i'm not saying all religions is that think whatever you want i don't
give a shit but headed that off at the past all
right continue i don't even know where i was going with that but you don't need to place those
restrictions upon them i like the way that luke skylark was like yeah i just wear this uniform
because i don't know what i'm doing yeah and obi-wan wears his robes because i live on a sand
planet like whatever like destiny and yoda lives in a swamp and that's great good i gotta talk about yoda
okay here we go okay oh okay now i know i remember the pivotal scene in this movie i've
remembered it now okay yoda was obviously a puppet in phantom menace we just talked about that
there's documentary and it goes into great detail about how they bring this cgi yoda to life and
they go through the hair and the how to get him to walk properly and how they're using.
But what they did ultimately is they got a stick and they put a tennis ball at
the end of the stick and they waved it around Christopher Lee and just watched
him just swing another stick and look confused.
And then at the,
at the end of the stick with a tennis ball on it,
they'd CGI Yoda in.
And you know what?
That's not even Christopher Lee in the sword fight. That's a different guy they put his head on it and if you go back and
watch that you'll be like yes and christopher lee's being interviewed and during it and he's like
yeah let's it's easily the best sword fight i've ever been involved in and that's certainly not
true no people that blew people's minds though but yeah for Yoda, it comes back to the most powerful thing about him and the Emperor should be
that they're above using lightsabers.
Yes.
And do you know what I mean?
Like, that's not what he's about.
Like, he could kill you with his mind if he wanted to.
Right.
But he doesn't.
So if Yoda rocks up, Dooku should just be like, I'm fucking out of here.
Like, do you know what I mean?
Like, it shouldn't be a weird CGI flip fest. The worst part of that thing and again i remember this in the cinema
the worst part of that i don't feel is the the actual lightsaber battle it's bad yes because
we've got this laughable flipping over cgi yoda or whatever and it's ridiculous it's ridiculous. It's like just an annoying fly dancing about Dooku.
Dooku?
It's that there's this weird dialogue exchange up until that point,
which I was just cringeworthy, just atrocious.
And I believe the line is something like... Because initially they just...
Dooku just throws rock.
No, Dooku shoots some lightning.
Yeah, he blocks it.
Blocks it.
There's some rocks being thrown.
They throw some rocks.
They throw some rocks at each other and
then he goes it appears that our this dispute can't be what was it can't be settled with our
skills in the force but perhaps with a lightsaber battle yeah and then they both pull out lightsabers
yeah and they dance around and i just i maybe people cheered in the cinema like did not not
when i went no not when i went but I've seen footage of it.
But just, I don't understand how you would think that would be good in any way.
You know what I mean?
That wind, and it's clearly meant to impress us and build up this.
Yeah.
If you're going to do, don't put the dialogue in.
Just let it evolve naturally.
We're talking about the Terminator movies, Terminator 2,
T-1000, the T-1000,
the T-800,
Arnold and Robert Patrick.
Yep.
They punch on the whole movie.
Yep.
They never say a word
to each other.
When Luke first
confronts Vader,
Vader says to him,
I see,
what is it?
The force is strong with you,
but you're not a Jedi yet.
And it's on.
Yeah.
And that's it.
Yeah.
Because that's all you need.
Right.
You don't need a weird
rock throwing competition. the worst. And that's it. Yeah. Because that's all you need. Right. You don't need a weird rock throwing competition.
No, the worst.
So much time wasted.
And there's no consequence to that.
Imagine the amount of hours
wasted by fans of Stull
or just moviegoers generally.
The amount of time
they'll never get back
because of that CGI rock.
Like that scene
is probably only a minute.
But if you combine that,
multiply that by all the millions of people that watched it,
then nobody's getting their time back.
And that's Fighters of No Consequence.
They could have all built an electric car.
I don't know what that means.
Save the planet.
Because they could have, like who is Dooku?
What do I care?
Who does he work for?
And you find out he works for Palpatine and whatever.
Great. I don't care if he gets away. Exactly. I think find out he works for Palpatine and whatever. Great.
I don't care if he gets away.
Yeah, exactly.
I think that's just trading on, hey, it's Christopher Lee.
Yeah.
He's an old-fashioned good actor.
He's in Lord of the Rings.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Did you know that every clone trooper in that is CGI?
Yes.
Yeah, I guess you would know that.
Anyway, getting back to the CGI Yoda.
And if I didn't know that, I would have shooomed it.
Yes.
They didn't build a single piece of armor.
Makes a lot of sense.
Yeah, it does, doesn't it?
Yeah.
What about sets, though?
Some.
I guess the field.
Yeah, the field.
Yeah, they built that field.
No, they really did go.
They did like a week here and week there.
They went back to Tunisia.
But there's also a really interesting scene in Episode 2 documentary
where George Lucas, someone goes to him, you just filmed a scene for episode three.
And he's like, yeah.
And they're like, why?
And he's like, I don't want to come back here.
So he films the final scene of episode three or one of the end scenes where Obi-Wan drops Luke's baby Luke Skywalker to the Larses and then he leaves.
So he filmed that at the end of episode two, which is, it makes sense.
But he's just, and they said to him,
well, what if the shot's wrong?
And he's like, I don't care.
He's like, I'm not coming back.
So that's where his enthusiasm runs out.
I guess so.
He doesn't want to go back to the desert.
Yeah.
Anyway, CGI Yoda.
I'm ready.
They go to this whole,
they take the reference footage
from Empire Strikes Back of like Yoda
and they spend a lot of time tearing it down being like oh this really doesn't hold up
this the puppet yoda vampire strikes back so he doesn't really move properly and you can see
now who's saying that the people who are making the cgi yoda of course they are yeah because that's
their job yeah and if they were like hey you know what you know that puppet we've got in storage that we've built and so we'll cost no money yeah that's fine so you don't need us you don't need us we can do the flips if you want
your flips we'll put the flips in look what we can do is we can we can get frank oz to wear a green
body suit and then have him dance about and then we'll just cgi him out and also cgi christopher lee in or whatever we're doing yeah
but that's that's classic yeah our job's on the line here if we say this is fine so of course
we're gonna have to find exactly and look it's all very subtle like they are respectful that like
that that was the best you could do at the time and look going back and watching empire strikes
back no that puppet is not perfect but it's such a magical world and the character is so fleshed out that it works.
Kermit the Frog is the shittiest looking puppet I've ever seen in my life.
But it works because it's iconic in the way he looks and the character and the way he reacts to whatever he's doing.
And that's the reason Yoda works.
And the puppeteer behind it.
Exactly.
Or whoever's doing him now kind of thing.
And it's the same with E.T.
E.T. works because the puppet works and the world works.
You know what I mean?
So they spend a lot of time kind of tearing it down and being,
and then it gets to a point where they're like,
well, let's put some of the flaws of that puppet into this CGI version.
So you know how the ears wiggle?
Like when he moves, like that's not supposed to happen,
but we'll put that in and see how the mouth,
it doesn't have as much dexterity as a real mouth.
So we'll kind of take back the dexterity on the CGI part.
And then George Lucas says, look, the trick to this CGI Yoda is to make him look exactly
like a puppet.
And then I'm sitting there going, why don't you just put in a fucking puppet?
Like, why are you recreating a digital puppet?
What are you doing?
You're wasting everybody's time that feels to me a lot like george lucas has offhandedly said why don't we make yoda cgi
yeah and then the wheels have been put in motion and a hundred people have had to go okay now we
have to make okay battle stations everybody we have to make a cgi yoda and then it's all been thrown into the mix and everybody's had to work really hard at this and
work for weeks and building this yoda yeah and then lucas has come in and it's he's changed his
mind and he's like you know what the puppets i like puppets well but we've got all this
infrastructure here bill we've spent millions of dollars let's make him look more like a puppet
we've paid all you guys yeah yeah I guess we're putting this in.
Also, and then later, one of the creators behind it is like,
oh, you know what?
If this looks too much like a puppet, people won't believe it.
But I believe the puppet sitting in a weird swamp set with Mark Hamill
more than bloody CGI Yoda flipping around and talking about warm feelings
in his heart to see somebody again and walking down weird vacant corridors
that go forever.
Like the conveyor belt shit as well.
Oh, sure.
Yeah, that happened as well.
So that's two.
That's two.
Where C-3PO gets his head knocked off and it lands on a battle droid
or whatever.
And then his body,
the battle droid's head goes on his body.
Yeah.
So they both get it.
It's a bit of the old switcheroo.
And then R2-D2 flies about for a bit.
Yeah, which he never uses again.
Oh, no, he uses it in 3.
I'm mistaken. But again, I'm willing to say
that at some point that system degraded
so he can't do it in the original.
When he was shot in the head in the Death Star run? Yeah, at some point that system degraded so he can't do it in the original movies.
When he was shot in the head in the Death Star run?
Yeah, at that point, yeah.
Yeah.
Fair enough.
You know the conveyor belt bit?
So they go Amidala and Anakin.
They go to Geonosis.
That's fine.
Don't worry about it.
And she runs to a conveyor belt
and it's just like smashing around her.
I feel when we do some of these episodes,
we should just get a poster of the characters' names and their pictures
and we each get a long stick and we can just point out.
So we don't have to use any more brain space than is necessary
to remember character names or plots or anything like that.
Yeah, absolutely.
Just a Wikipedia article, you can just hit the stick on Anakin.
It's that guy.
Oh, Anakin, great.
Absolutely.
So there's a bit where Padme's on a thing
and it's just smashing all down around.
And it looks terrible.
Oh, yeah.
Like there's a bit where there's like a conveyor belt
in Empire Strikes Back where C-3PO's broken body
is rolling towards a furnace.
Yep.
And that's way more intense.
Yes.
And it's nothing. That Empire Yes. And it's nothing.
That Empire Strikes Back scene is nothing.
Like, it's not even important.
But there's so much more in that scene
where Chewbacca pulls the parts off
than this weird smashy, smashy thing
that could not possibly exist in the real world.
And if you put a person in that,
they would be instantly killed.
Right.
Like, straight away.
Anakin Skywalker also... I should have said the wall.
Yeah, hit the wall.
He gets his arm trapped under a metal, like he gets it pressed down on his arm.
Yeah.
And he's fine.
Like it's just got a dint where his arm is.
Right, right, right.
So I guess he's invincible, but then later he gets his arm cut off.
Like I don't.
It's a nightmare.
Yeah.
But also apparently George Lee.
But yeah, it's like somebody, it's like, again, it's like watching somebody play a video game.
Yes. Not interesting. No. Especially if he's indestructible. Indestructible, yeah. And George Lee. But yeah, it's like, again, it's like watching somebody play a video game. Yes.
Not interesting.
No.
Especially if he's indestructible.
Indestructible, yeah.
And a baby.
Yeah.
And he fights a mosquito man.
But you know what I do like?
What's that?
I like the arena battle.
So they roll out everybody.
They declare their love for each other and that's shit.
But then they roll out and they cuff them to posts and they send out three monsters.
One's like a rat lion.
One's like a big, vicious crab.
Is one of them a rancor?
No, one's like a bull.
That's right.
And it's pretty good.
Anakin Skywalker gets cuffed and everyone's like, what are you doing here?
And he's like, I will come to rescue you.
And he's like, yeah, good job.
Right.
And that's kind of like wow this life you
somehow sold that yeah shitty line or whatever that's not it's fine and then they all kind of
get at him in different ways anakin jumps on the back of the bull and obi-wan fights the crab with
like this stick that he got and then all the jedi turn up and then they just get thrown lightsabers
and then it's just nonsense again yes and then it's just bugs and droids and drop ships and
clones oh that's right the stakes keep getting higher and my interest in it just kept going then it's just nonsense again yes and then it's just bugs and droids and drop ships and clones
oh that's right the stakes keep getting higher and my interest in it just kept going getting
lower and lower exactly oh yeah and then and there's just there's just there was a scene also
in the in the trailer for that i think yeah it was just like this this real wide shot yeah of
just a hundred jedi it just just white it looked like a just like It looked like a football stadium
with just green and blue glowy sticks
just swinging about.
Yeah, there's no finesse to it.
No finesse.
They're just running at each other.
And Mace Windu kills Jango Fett,
which I guess is important.
Beheads him, right?
Yeah.
Great.
That's pretty good, I guess.
Yeah.
So now Boba Fett can finally get his revenge.
Except he doesn't.
No, he doesn't.
He never does.
Paws into a bloody sarlacc.
Did you see that Boba Fett fan trailer?
No.
This week?
It's actually pretty good.
When you say fan trailer, do you mean it's assorted old footage?
No.
It's actually pretty solid.
Okay.
I don't know what else I've got to say.
Just go from your heart. You don't need notes. All right. I don't know what else I've got to say. Just go from your heart.
Okay.
You don't need notes.
All right.
I just want to make sure I got everything.
It's also the worst use of the,
I have a bad feeling about this line.
You know a bit where I said,
where they're all chained to the posts or whatever?
Yeah.
The monsters are coming towards them
and Anakin Skywalker says,
I've got a bad feeling about this.
Do you?
Do you really?
Yeah.
Right.
That's absolutely true.
I have no memory of that.
But yeah, just, oh, look, we contractually were obliged.
Look, one of our screenwriters in 1977, he had some sort of weird trademark on this line.
So we have to use it in every movie.
That's right.
So let's throw it in when there's clearly an incredible amount of danger.
And even in The Phantom Menace, it's used effectively where they land on the Trade Federation ship at the start, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon.
And he's like, this feels weird.
I have a bad feeling about this.
Right.
Like, yeah, because nothing's happened yet, but you know that something's not right.
Right, right, right.
Anyway, should we move on?
Let's move on.
Episode three.
Here we go.
Revenge of the Clones or Sith or whatever it is.
Doesn't matter.
It's the best one.
It's the best one. It the best one it is of the three
yeah no i'd agree with that there's no disputing that okay yeah but you know what they just skipped
the clone wars it's like that was the start of the clone wars and this is the end of the clone wars
oh see i don't even really know that timeline yeah so but you but they want you to watch the
animated series yeah and you know what the? A lot of people love that show.
It starts off pretty rough, but apparently,
and I probably won't go back and watch it,
it's really good and it's better than the prequels.
There's also a hand-drawn Clone Wars miniseries,
which is incredible.
Okay.
And they're like two-minute shorts
and there's a bit where Mace Windu beats up an army of droids.
It doesn't make any sense. Sure. But it's like exaggerated tales of... Oh, I see. That's fun. And it's a bit where Mace Windu beats up an army of droids. It doesn't make any sense.
Sure.
But it's like exaggerated tales of...
Oh, I see.
That's fun.
And it's amazing.
It's in that kind of Samurai Jack kind of style.
Oh, great.
So I'd definitely recommend that.
Which is interesting because Samuel L. Jackson was also in a...
He was in Afro Samurai?
Yes, I think so.
Yeah.
Might be wrong.
Or Samurai Champloo.
It was one of those.
Yeah.
But I think at this point i've stopped
reading the opening crawl which is why i don't know which is like why i can't remember that the
clone wars was in between the two because i'm just like nah who cares it's irrelevant what's
happening in here trade tariffs and blah blah who cares keep it moving blockades yeah that one
do you want to break down the story no because I can't remember any of them okay
I can do this
there's a ship's crashing right
that's how it starts
okay
there's a battle above Coruscant
yep
where Obi-Wan and
the city planet
the city planet
where
that planet's too much as well
it's too much
like the way they do it
it's too much
city planet works
but it doesn't
I don't want to get into it
okay
so they
they the emperor he's not the yet, Palpatine has been captured by Grievous, who
came out of nowhere.
Why couldn't it have just been Dooku?
Or Darth Maul, if they didn't...
It's not important.
Yeah.
So they have to board this ship, fight Dooku...
Do we see that kidnapping take place?
No.
That happens off.
That happens off.
Does Clone Wars end with that kidnapping?
Clone Wars didn't really end properly.
The hand-drawn one does.
It ends with that.
The animated one kind of ends abruptly because it got cancelled
because then they started Rebels and whatever.
So they kill Dooku.
They rescue Palpatine.
Obi-Wan goes...
Dooku gets the very rare double lightsaber beheading.
That's pretty sweet.
Yeah, it's pretty good.
I'll pay that.
Obi-Wan goes to...
And Anakin does the very rare double lightsaber.
He does it in two.
Like an attack, does he?
I don't care.
Whatever, I don't know.
I don't remember that.
And then Obi-Wan goes to find Grievous.
Anakin stays on Coruscant.
Yoda goes to save the wookies which is completely
irrelevant you don't need any of that and then at the end anakin turns bad for no reason and then he
fights obi-wan in a big volcano yeah and he does not go well no and everybody's sad and everybody
gets exiled everybody does get exiled yeah yeah do you. Do you know, they got in a Francis Ford Coppola,
I think it was him,
recommended a dialogue coach to Lucas.
Oh, yes.
And then, so a lot of the dialogue in this is,
it's better.
Right, okay.
Like it's sold.
It's not all of it.
It's certainly not.
Look, it might be better,
but at the same time,
they've built up, again,
these weird relationships between all the characters.
So I don't think the dialogue could save it.
So we were saying earlier, you know, the weird romantic love
that is above all else.
Yeah.
Where Anakin is told that in order to save, you know, his children,
his unborn children and his pregnant wife,
he has to go and kill a whole bunch of children.
Right?
And he's fine with that.
Yeah.
Well, he has a single tear.
Yeah.
I guess you would.
Yeah.
But it's just this, you know, it's this.
Surely you are not, like, he's always been a psychopath.
Right.
He would have had to have been.
Yeah.
Because that's in you to do that.
And Yodas, doesn't he say in the first one,
this kid's definitely a psychopath.
I remember a line similar to that where he's like, no.
There's definitely a...
They're like, he's got a lot of midichlorians.
But he's bad news.
Yeah.
Like we've all had a premonition where he kills all of us or whatever.
And Obi-Wan's like, fine, load him up in the truck.
I don't care.
I don't know.
He's good at pod racing or something.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Agreed.
But again, there's this logic of, well, in order to say,
does he know they've got twins?
No.
Well, he thinks there's a child.
He's got a child.
And in order to save that child, he needs to kill all the other children
who are already existing and have lives and whatever.
Yes.
Just what is this universe?
You know what I mean?
So obviously you don't believe that this fall don't exist.
You know what, though?
There is a scene prior to him.
I think we're going to justify killing a lot of children.
No, if you have to.
Yeah, sure.
But there's a scene prior to where he cuts off. remember mace windu fights palpatine yes because they
discover he tells anakin he's like after dropping hints for 15 years yeah he's like you know you can
be angry it's cool like yeah and then he's like and then he tells him a sith a sith parable where
he's like you know there was this sith guy and nobody knows this story but i know
this story for some reason yeah yeah and he was the best sith and he could stop people from dying
but then he got murdered in his sleep and that's pretty good isn't it and he's like how do you how
did someone to get the powers and he's like you can't be a jedi that's all i know and then later
he's like he has to tell him he's like like, I am the Sith Lord. Like, surprise.
I mean, you should have guessed.
Yeah.
But I am.
Because of my cackling.
Am I standing in shadows all the time?
I mean, you know what?
He's good.
Yeah.
That actor is really good.
And so then Anakin goes, tells Mace Windu, he's like,
Senator's the bloody, or the Chancellor's the bloody Sith Lord.
And he has like no reaction.
He's like, okay.
Do you remember that? Yeah.
And then he gets like four guys.
Four guys.
Yeah.
That'll do it.
That's fine.
Four guys.
We won't tell anybody else.
Yeah.
We'll just.
Let's not publicly broadcast this.
Let's just get four guys.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Four of my best men.
Oh, you don't have my best men?
Just four guys then.
Any four is fine.
And then they just, and then those four get immediately killed.
And then I think it's the worst.
It's probably the worst actual fight in all the movies.
It's Mace Windu versus Samuel L. Jackson versus Ian McDermott.
Or the Ian McDermott CGI stunt double.
Yes.
It's so bad.
Yeah.
And at the end, you see all the people talking about it like in behind the scenes. And I'm like, no, it came out really well. I'm really surprised how good it looks. But it's so bad yeah and at the end you see all the people talking about it like in behind the scenes and i'm like no it came out really well i'm really surprised how good it looks but
it's just no it's just total total garbage and it's is this this is this the movie where anakin
has his breakdown where he's like i'm the best jedi in the universe and i'll even stop people
from dying that's too okay sorry i missed it edit that back in but you No, that's Toe. That's Toe. Okay, sorry, I missed it. Edit that back in.
But you know what?
That's some epic bloody foreshadowing, mate.
Boy, is it.
I'm here to stop people from dying.
Nobody ever die and I'll be the best.
The worst.
What a dickhead.
What a dickhead.
Exactly.
And then so the emperor is like, I need the emperor.
So he cuts off Samuel L. Jackson's hand
and the emperor screams,
unlimited power
and shoots him off a building.
Yep.
And then Anakin pledges himself immediately.
And do you remember,
and then the emperor was like,
we could definitely work out
how to keep people alive.
And Anakin's not like,
but you said,
yeah, he doesn't say that.
Yeah.
So he just goes,
just kill everybody, please,
in Order 66.
Yeah.
And he does.
I don't mind the Order 66 bit.
You just see all the Jedi
getting murdered.
Right.
That's not bad, actually.
Oh, yeah, enjoyable.
I guess so.
You see Kimuri Andi
gets a bloody bullet
in the back, mate.
Oh, yeah.
Sorry, a blaster bolt.
Thank you. I apologize. Anyway, getting back to the the start did you like the dooku fight at the start um look look i think
it's the best fight in that movie it's better than the anakin obi-wan fight because that fight
goes for way too long yeah and it's again it's video game they're all jumping across all kinds
of rocks and lava all that sort of stuff. Yeah, exactly. It's no...
Yeah, all right.
Of all the bad lightsaber fights in this movie,
the first one is the best.
You've got me on a technicality.
Yes.
And, you know, it ends with Obi-Wan being knocked out
and then he takes off Dooku's arms and then his head.
Yeah, that's pretty good.
That's solid, yeah.
It's a kid's movie.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know in the bit when Palpatine gets electrocuted and his face changes?
Yes.
There's two theories on that.
Okay.
One, he always looked like that and he had some kind of...
And his illusion was...
Yeah, it's like a Sith dark magic.
Uh-huh.
And that was just revealed.
Two, he was genuinely burnt.
Okay.
If he was genuinely burnt, do you think he should be more upset that he looks like that?
Yeah, he looks real weird.
Got a weird melty candle face.
Yeah.
Anyway, whatever.
I don't know what else to say about this.
Yeah.
There's the bit where he gets his legs cut off.
Yeah, pretty good.
It's pretty good.
Yeah.
Enjoyable, certainly.
I think I mentioned this in the commentary.
Someone had to remind George Lucas.
I can't remember whether this is true,
but I think someone had to remind George Lucas to film Obi-Wan picking up Anakin's lightsaber.
Yeah.
Newt Gunray finally gets his comeuppance
for being the dumbest asshole in the galaxy.
Which one's Newt Gunray again?
The big stereotype.
The big Asian stereotype.
Oh, right.
I know we weren't going to name races.
Okay, right.
But yeah.
Yeah.
Because he's...
Why was he listening to the Emperor?
Like, every time he listened to the Emperor,
he's lost everything. He lost his bloody trade? Like every time he listened to the Emperor, he's lost everything.
He lost his bloody trade federation.
He nearly did in the first one.
He lost his bloody Geonosis battle or whatever.
And then he lost his life at the end.
Yeah, well.
Padme dies of a broken heart.
Luke and Leia get sold off to a senator.
And bloody, what's his name?
Joel Edgerton.
Joel Edgerton's brother is actually the stuntman for ewan mcgregor nash edgerton i think it might be yeah oh and there was also
going to be a delayed there was a scene where they were going to get qui-gon jinn to reappear
as a blue ghost oh yep which would have explained blue ghosts right because there's a scene you were
telling me where he's like i learned how to do this blue ghost thing.
Now do you want to learn how to do the blue ghost thing? Yeah, Yoda says it.
Because as we know in episode four,
Obi-Wan says to Darth Vader,
if you strike me down, I'll become more powerful.
More popular.
Yeah, more popular than you could possibly imagine.
I'll get so many more Instagram likes than you, Darth.
But he's like, I'll become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.
And we're like, what evidence do you have of that?
There's no evidence.
But then we know Blue Ghost, which again is just annoying.
Yeah, that's right.
And you can only bother the people that you know.
Yeah, it's a mystery.
You never, you never.
Yeah.
Is he tethered to Luke?
That's a good question because if.
I know it's explained in the expanded universe but that's gone now yeah i guess if he's become omnipresent and he can see
anyone anytime and then he can find luke and just send him a message or whatever i guess he's more
powerful but i wouldn't trade i wouldn't trade being able to do a bit of this do a flip exactly
for being a weird omnipresent ghost you're just getting people's
ears about using the force yeah absolutely um also there was initially going to be a young
han solo living on the wookie planet took that out good they just put in the chewbacca yeah do
you need the wookies in it no correct that is the correct answer yeah and i'm sure he he moves toys
doesn't he yeah sometimes i guess i don't know
i imagine there's a lot of leftovers what else do you have there on that i've got a letter here
i'm kind of running out of steam here mate i got i got one more thing to say but i'll see
here's a letter okay yeah hey guys i have a uh i have an idea i'd like your thoughts on i think
that the version of revenge of the sith that we got was the best movie we could have hoped for
under the circumstances in which it was made.
I wouldn't class it as a great movie,
but there's a lot more good than bad.
And I think that most of the bad was caused by cast
and plot decisions made during episodes one and two.
And to a lesser extent, constraints caused by trying to tie them...
Constraints caused by tying the movie into the events
of the original trilogy.
Without changing any of the other Star Wars movies,
do you think we could have gotten a better Episode 3?
Thanks, Colin.
Probably not.
No, absolutely not.
No, because we've got, again, the three has been shackled to one and two.
There's no way out of...
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, this sort of ties to my point.
The last thing I wanted to say about the prequels...
Sure.
...is that, look, I hate them because they're boring.
I hate them because all the characters look and act like, act and sound like children.
Is this going to be a compliment sandwich?
Yeah, this is going to be a sweet compliment sandwich.
Yeah.
But I hate them the most because they ruin the conceit of Star Wars as a whole.
Yep.
Because Star Wars begins, Episode 4, A New Hope.
Yep.
The premise of the film, whether Lucas was going to make two sequels
and then make three prequels and then make three more sequels or whatever,
because it keeps changing what he says was going to happen.
But even if he was going to make two sequels and whatever,
the premise of Star Wars is it's Episode 4, it's like it's the 1950s and we're going in to see a movie serial.
Like a Flash Gordon.
Like a Flash Gordon.
And we just happen to go into the movie theater and they just happen to be playing episode four.
Yeah.
It doesn't matter what happened before that.
It doesn't matter what happens after that.
Yeah.
We're just seeing this adventure.
Yeah.
But if you watch the movies in order and if you're new to Star Wars,
you would potentially because they go 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.
You watch 1, 2, 3.
Yes, thank you.
You go 1 through 3, you see Anakin Skywalker transform into Darth Vader.
You watch 4 and then 5 and then Darth Vader says to Luke,
Luke, I am your father.
And where does the audience go? He says, no, I'm your father. And we as the audience go.
He says, no, I'm your father.
Yeah.
That's a common misconception.
And Luke said, and we the audience go, yeah, we know.
In that scene, the only person who was surprised is Luke.
Yeah.
Like of everybody in the universe, it's only Luke.
Yeah, so we the audience, the conceit doesn't work
because if we were an audience in the 1950s
who were big fans of movie serials and we started from one
and worked our way up, we'd be like, what?
Why is this a...
This isn't a twist.
We want thrills and chills and twists.
We want guys jumping from cars.
We got nothing.
You know what I mean?
I agree.
Yeah.
What's the twist in the prequels?
Is there any?
Sifo-Dyas, Clone Army, flips.
Yeah, it's the flips.
The flips are the twist.
Palpatine was the Emperor the whole time.
Was that a twist?
Did you know they never admitted publicly, the actor or George Lucas,
that they're the same person?
He's not even credited in the movies except for three as the same guy.
Huh. Hmm. Wait, so... not even credited in the movies except for three as the same guy huh wait so ian mcdermott is not i can't remember how it is but he's not credited directly directly as sidious
until three okay in case you're so idiotic that you can't figure that out but then he's never
credited the third one doesn't say he's emperor but he's emperor palpatine in the in the original
trilogy isn't he he become yes but he becomes the emperor in the end of three no i mean in four five
and six yes he's emperor palpatine oh i don't know if they call him palpatine that is his name
it's always been his name it's always been his name exactly yeah look if only there were a way
to look that up but there isn't my understanding as, what I kind of like about the originals is
they don't know that he's who he is.
Yeah.
He's just the guy in charge.
He's just always been the emperor as far as they know.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Again, we don't need to know the origins.
The fans have built their own mythology about these characters.
You don't want to see babies.
Exactly.
The prequel should have been set three, two, and one months before four, five, and six.
Or even a couple of years or whatever.
A couple of years.
The Clone Wars.
No, exactly.
Just in the Clone Wars.
Leave the mystery.
Leave the mystery of the Clone Wars completely.
Yeah, sure.
Whatever.
Well, we're going to be getting that bloody Rogue One.
Yeah.
All right.
Great, I guess.
I'm going to compliment this at the end.
Oh, here we go.
You've done it.
Okay, great. These films are garbage. Correct. But- Goodbye, everyone. See, I guess. I'm going to compliment this at the end. Oh, here we go. You've done it. Okay, great.
These films are garbage.
Correct.
But-
Goodbye, everyone.
See you next week.
They genuinely pushed the limits of technology
and demonstrated the limitations of technology.
Yes, certainly.
And there have been a lot of lessons learned from this,
including what I think will come in The Force Awakens.
So this is a parable as well.
Exactly.
It's a bloody parable.
It's a force parable, which is don't let your reach exceed your grasp or whatever whatever the maybe it's the reverse
they tested out some pretty impressive for the time cgi techniques zoom shots zoom shots that's
it wipes you have so many wipes you know they tested those out and those as a result have
gotten a lot better since that yeah and we also know somebody's finally figured out
that practical is better when you can do it.
Or combining two practical things or multiple practical things
is better than putting a CGI man on a CGI background
with a CGI compliment sandwich.
Just making Christopher Lee put on a green bodysuit
and roll down a green skateboard halfpipe.
The end.
The end.
We will never talk about the prequels again.
We'll probably talk about them every week.
Yes.
Like we do every week.
Oh, boy.
You know what it's time for?
What's it time for?
It's time for...
Oh, what we read it.
Yes.
What we're going to read. What we're going to read.
Going to read.
What we're going to say.
I was going to say it's the 100th, but I don't think it is because we didn't start this.
We didn't start this.
No, absolutely not.
It's the something-eth, what we read and what we're going to read.
We should do prequel Weekly Planet episodes where we pretend to be younger.
Oh, so good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And have none of the knowledge.
Anyway.
I'm doing a thing.
What are we reading today?
What are you reading?
What I read, and this week, after some listeners emailed in last week
about watching Mr. Robot, I'm watching that.
Oh, yeah, is it great?
Real enjoyable.
I like it a lot.
There's a little bit, Christian Slater's in it,
and there's a little bit of scene chewing from him in the first episode,
but he tones it down in the second one.
But I think it's quite intriguing.
It's kind of...
Is he the robot?
He's Mr. Robot.
There's no actual robot.
Yeah, no, I never talked about that a lot.
So he's kind of on the spectrum, is that right?
How do you mean?
Is that the idea?
Didn't you say that last week? That they call him Mr. Robot because he's kind of on the spectrum, is that right? How do you mean? Is that the idea? Didn't you say that last week?
That they call him Mr. Robot because he's kind of very black and white?
No, no, Christian Slater is basically the second main character.
Okay.
The main character whose name...
The character's name is Elliot.
Yeah.
I can't remember the actor's name.
Sure.
He does appear to be a little bit...
Okay.
He's very anxious and et cetera, et cetera.
Okay, like a robot.
Yeah, like a robot.
I understand.
That Christian Slater is Mr. Robot only because... We don't know he's i haven't watched enough to know his real name yet but he
just he wears like uh like a gas station jacket and the name tags is mr robot in the future nope
like modern day anyway i've really enjoyed that uh i've also been reading a comic book series
called god is dead oh yeah which sounds a lot heavier than it is although it does involve
pretty much the destruction of civilization but is it just multiple shots of god's corpse well oh yeah uh no it's a
series by it was created by jonathan hickman who did has done fantastic for and a lot of other
great stuff uh he doesn't write it anymore he wrote like the first eight and then he's he's
moved on but uh it's qualities maintaining it's basically a series it's been going since 2013 but
i've only just
caught up to it now
I like that
because then you can
you got like
you got heaps to get through
yeah
but basically
the premise is
that
all the
old mythological gods
have returned to earth
for whatever reason
and they've decided
to just
fight amongst themselves
and all the civilization
has fallen to pieces
that sounds great
pretty great yeah
it's good fun
you bloody heathen yeah now that sounds really good god is dead alright I'm gonna check that out themselves and all the civilization has fallen to pieces. That sounds great. It's pretty great, yeah. It's good fun.
You bloody heathen.
Yeah.
Now, that sounds really good.
God is dead, all right?
I'm going to check that out.
You know what I'm not going to read?
What's that? On Force Friday, they also released a bunch of Star Wars books, tie-in books.
Oh, yes.
And the one that I was looking forward to the most is called Star Wars Aftermath or
Aftermath.
Aftermash.
And it's set directly after Return of the Jedi.
And I went to buy it immediately because I'm like, I will buy this.
It's like 15 bucks.
I'll buy a digital copy.
On the Australian iTunes store, you cannot buy it.
It's not out until the 10th of September, which makes no sense because it's a digital book.
If I wanted to steal it, I could do it in 30 seconds.
Sure, yeah.
So just let me pay for it.
Right, right, right.
Right?
Exactly.
It's like 500 kilobytes or something.
Yeah.
And you know what?
If I was really interested in it, I would have stolen it by now.
Yeah.
Because we did not...
As everybody in Australia has already done, one assumes.
Anyway, so I went and go, you know what?
I'll read some reviews first.
Oh, you know what?
I think they're probably banking on...
I don't know why they've delayed it.
Yeah.
But I would say they're banking on, even if you're a huge Star Wars fan, even if you've
stolen it, when it becomes available, you'll buy it. i'm not an idiot yeah i know right what i'm saying is most star
wars fans are idiots yeah boom no not really physical media mate it's on the way out i know
everybody likes you know it's good to have physical i just love the feel the turn of the
page the smell of the ink you know what i also love i love having like a hundred comics on on
my phone or ipad I also love that.
Yeah, that's pretty good.
Yeah.
Anyway.
So I read some reviews and people were like, this isn't very good.
It features barely any of the original characters.
It doesn't really add anything to the universe.
You don't really know, like maybe Boba Fett's arm is in it.
Maybe Han Solo goes off on an unnamed adventure.
So I'm like, well, now I'm not going to read it.
Yep.
So you delay it here as cost
you've lost a sweet 15 lucas film how do you like that and you know what's kind of disappointing
the original trilogy books that followed on from this which i've got a letter about yeah
is really good and so now they've replaced it with this kind of media yeah yeah yeah like
because we had air to the the Empire, Dark Force Rising,
whatever the third one was called.
Yeah, whatever that one was called.
But you know what?
It was bound to happen.
The Last Command.
Sure.
Have you read them?
Yeah.
They're really good.
Yeah, they're pretty good, yes.
Okay, so this is from Best Wishes.
Hey, James and Nick.
Hearing that you might be doing a Star Wars prequels
for the 100th episode, I thought I might throw in my
What I'm Reading.
Oh, yes. Just the other day I picked up Heir to the Empire, thequels for the 100th episode. I thought I might throw in my what I'm reading. Oh, yes.
Just the other day, I picked up Head of the Empire,
the first book in the Thrawn trilogy.
As we know, the Star Wars EU is 10% awesome, 90% bullshit.
Fair enough.
I was wondering what other Star Wars EU novels,
materials you might recommend,
particularly those that take place between episodes one to three.
Thanks, mate.
I would also claim the official bumbling stormtrooper of the podcast
if it's not already taken.
Done.
Yeah, excellent.
Yeah, that's a really good series of books.
I'll definitely recommend those.
I mean, that's not going to help you in going into the new Force Awakens.
No.
But if you want some prequel era stuff, there's...
What is it?
There's a Han Solo trilogy of books, which isn't bad.
The novelization of Phantom Menace is pretty good, isn't it?
Yeah, great.
Look, it'll certainly cleanse your palate after you've watched the Phantom Menace 10 times.
Sure.
There is some...
I can't remember.
There is that zombie one.
Oh, that's not that good.
Death Troopers.
It's okay.
Han Solo shows up for no reason.
There's one called Star Wars Visionaries,
which is, there's a whole lot of different tales,
but one of them is that Obi-Wan fights Darth Maul again.
I think I talked about that,
which I'm hoping they'll make into a movie.
And I talked about it a few weeks ago.
There's an Obi-Wan, I think it's Star Wars,
the latest Star Wars comic run episode,
issue eight, where it's just Obi-Wan before A New Hope.
And he's just kind of lost and wandering the desert with no name kind of shit great and it's it's only one issue but it's really good i'd like
to see more of that i quite like the short story collections yeah me too i mean all of some of them
are quite ridiculous and again everybody's got a destiny but like the tales from the moss icely
can't tell you the tales of the bounty hunters they're pretty good absolutely i know what you
mean yeah i think i read i read the book that's called i think it's called labyrinth of evil or Nicely Cantina. Sure, yeah. The Tales of the Bounty Hunters. They're pretty good. Absolutely. You know what I mean? I know what you mean. Yeah.
I think I read the book that's called Labyrinth of Evil or something.
It's set between two and three.
Right.
And there's a Darth Vader one that's set after which I read, which is okay, I guess.
But I don't really remember them that well.
It's like, what can I mean?
But again, they're all gone.
Yes.
Forget about it. Forget about it.
Do you want to do some letters for this week?
Let's do some letters.
All right.
So as we know and as listeners may know,
you refuse to add in a letters theme.
Correct.
So every week I request that some brave listeners
record their own letters theme.
Yes.
And put it up on YouTube and then tweet me a link to that
and then I play it through my phone.
That's the only way we can get these.
That's the only way us, the rebels, can get these themes on
against the wishes of the evil empire, which is James.
That's right.
So anyway, I've just got to find out who this is from.
Why don't you find out who it's from?
I'm bloody going to find out who it's from.
You all right, you bloody, jeez.
Hillel Slan.
Yes.
Has sent this one in.
I'm ready. Okay, good. It's Slan. Yes. Has sent this one in. I'm ready.
Okay, good.
It's Thanos themed.
I'm not sure why.
Great.
But this one's pretty good.
Oftentimes we'll be like, hey, based on the theme of this thing.
But whatever tickles your bloody fancy.
Whatever tickles your fancy.
Next week, I don't know what we're doing.
So if you want to send in a letters theme, anything you want,
that'd be great.
Anyway, here we go good work i should really start editing these in.
As always, ears unheard, but that's great stuff.
That's great.
Great, good work.
I liked everything about that.
This is from Derpy Chirpy.
Oh, yes.
Hey, Nick and James, Mason.
It's me.
One of those is definitely me.
What movie are you most looking forward to this September, October, slash November?
Everest, The Martian, Legend, Spectre, etc. movie you're most looking forward to this september october slash november everest the martian legend
specter etc and do you think that m night shamalamala he's written that here can make the
visit something that isn't dog shit no plus i'll get we go back to that but it's no plus you said
have a collaboration with mr aussie man reviews make it happen cheers race i don't know that is
neither do i let's check let's look into it great for, look him up. Great. For me, it's Spectre.
Yeah?
There's a lot of names on and off that list, but I think it's Spectre.
What's Legend?
I don't remember.
No.
Is it that Tom Cruise movie?
Yeah, from the 80s.
They're re-releasing it.
Great.
You know, I'm looking forward to all of those, except for Legend, which I don't know.
I'm going to look it up real quick.
Everest looks great.
The Martian looks great.
Spectre looks...
I hope it's good.
I hope it's better than Skyfall, which I still and apparently the visit oh legend is the cray brothers film oh yeah
okay right one of them's got glasses one of them certainly has glasses excellent um the visit you
know they reckon the early word is that it's shamalan's return to form really he's done a
horror what does that mean though it means that you won't pull your eyes out if you watch it.
That is a return to form.
We've got to do an episode on that guy.
Yeah.
Look, he's kind of hamstrung in the sense that...
Twists?
Twists, exactly.
Every time...
Sixth Sense had a twist, spoiler alert.
Yes.
And then we were like, great, look at this guy.
He's put the sweet twist in the movie.
And then the next one, there was another twist and it wasn't as good.
Unbreakable.
Some people call Unbreakable his best film.
I don't think it's that great.
Take that.
Look, as a comic book fan, I didn't think it was great for a lot of reasons.
We'll get to when we do that, our famous M. Night Shyamalan episode.
I haven't seen Lady in the Water.
I've seen The Happening, actually.
So I've got to watch Lady in the Water.
But it's sort of this thing of like, well, if he puts in a twist,
everybody's going to be like, well, this isn't as good as the Sixth Sense twist.
We're getting decreasing returns.
But if he doesn't put in a twist, people are like,
what happened?
Has he given up on his trademark blah, blah, blah?
Because, you know, does he understand that his movies are terrible
so he has to blah, I don't know.
Did you see After Earth?
No.
We've got some homework to do.
Is that Shyamalan?
Yeah.
You said it's not as good.
Oh, it's the one with Jaden Smith, isn't it?
Yeah, it is.
Oh, I don't want to watch that.
An eagle fights a saber-toothed dragon.
Is there a twist in that one?
Fear is your enemy.
That's not a twist.
I guess it isn't.
He's not your enemy.
Yeah, no, any of those is fine.
I guess if I had to pick one, probably The Martian.
I want to see skyfall
just you mean specter you could see skyfall we could watch it now not skyfall sorry specter
yes you really want to see it we could watch it all right yeah all right fine good
finally look i want to see specter i'm not excited about the idea of destiny yeah as we've talked
about i'm sick of every movie having to put some destiny in it. Yep.
Just have him go on an adventure.
You know what?
I want this to be the last movie.
Of Craig.
No, I want this to be the last movie.
The last movie.
Yeah, ever.
Ever made.
And then Destruction of Civilization.
I want this to be the last movie where there's destiny and origin to Bond.
Can we please have this one be done
and the next movie, whether it's Daniel Craig or not.
Yeah, I think it is.
He's got one more.
Okay.
It's just, hey, Bond, here's a mission.
Go on the mission.
And he does the mission.
Yeah, and he does the mission.
I felt that that was going to happen with Skyfall.
Yeah, he did.
Because it was reverted to the status quo.
We got the UM.
We got Moneypenny.
We got Bond being Bond.
And they were just like, how about a mission, Bond, or whatever?
He's bloody...
Yeah.
He's gone too rogue.
Yeah.
Did you hear that?
The news?
Did we talk about this?
Idris Elba.
Yeah, Idris Elba.
I heard this.
Yeah, yeah.
I forgot to bring it up.
The author of the James Bond novel that's going to be coming out soon, Trigger Mortis.
That's not a very good name, is it?
Yeah.
He has said, well, he said it was taken out of context.
He was like, I don't see Bond,
I don't see Idris Elba as Bond because he's too street.
But I don't-
It's not a race issue.
No.
It's that he's not suave enough.
Yeah, I don't think, yeah, he didn't mean it as street.
That's how I took it anyway.
He said he shouldn't have said street.
No, he probably shouldn't have.
But I think he just genuinely meant like seeing him as Luther.
And he's just kind of this scruffy kind of, I haven't even seen Luther.
Is he an alcoholic?
Yeah, he is.
Okay, alcoholic.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, and whatever.
I think that's what he was referring to.
Right, right, right.
Yeah.
Whatever.
It's not my problem.
No, exactly.
We're in the clear.
Okay, this is from Alex.
Hey, James and Nick. I just want to say I listen to the podcast religiously.
Every Monday I turn on the show and annoy the people around me.
Oh, that is religious.
It's very religious.
Just put it in their face, why don't you?
And then it says with, and then it says sent from my iPhone.
So I think he's actually put that in, or I put that in.
It's a mystery.
Okay, now's my question.
If you could be any Transformer, who would it be? Mason has to choose a Decepticon because he's accidentally put that in. Or I put that in. It's a mystery. Okay, now's my question. If you could be any Transformer, who would it be?
Mason has to choose a Decepticon because he's a cruel coward
and James has to choose an Autobot because he's the lesser of two evils.
You cannot choose Death's Head.
Boo.
Yes.
I was going to say Sea Spray, but he's an Autobot.
You can choose an Autobot.
Can I be the official Ironhide of the podcast?
Unless you want to be an Ironhide.
No, I can't be Ironhide because he's not a Decepticon.
Oh, yeah.
Thanks, Alex.
Well, in the movie, he's Gunface, obviously. obviously yes because he's got a gun for a face and he
turns into a lamborghini so that's pretty sweet i will be the robot wings on optimus prime's back
which are decepticon wings technically exactly but i can be either but the the wings that can't
yeah exactly they come from some old prick yeah right yes but if we're talking actual transformers universe oh i'm picking i'm picking
optimus primal because he's ridiculous right there's a gorilla that transforms into a descendant
of optimus right uh-huh um i don't know comic book galvatron yeah especially the comic galvatron
in the british comics yeah was just an indestructible lunatic like that was his
that was his entire character arc yeah like and just people it was just everybody ran in fear
and i that i enjoyed that there was no great there was no magic 11th hour like where optimus prime
rose up and defeated him or whatever he just everybody runs yeah everybody runs i think
eventually he was killed in a time vortex or something like that. I think that was pretty good.
That's great.
Was that from like the 90s or whatever?
Or Shockwave because he never went through the conversion
and so he just became a 35-foot long ray gun when he transformed,
like a flying ray gun.
No sense at all.
None.
Great.
Oh, so many.
I love them all.
Yeah, they're good, aren't they?
Yeah, man.
Last letter. Or an Insecticon. Why? I love them all. Yeah. They're good, aren't they? Yeah, man. Last letter.
Or an Insecticon.
Why?
I don't know.
What about a Sharkticon?
Not technically a Decepticon.
I guess not.
Hey, LeBron James and Nick Mason,
the American Little League baseball player.
We should look into that.
I was going to say,
I was concerned that I didn't get a baseball-themed name there.
Or a basketball-themed name or a sports-themed name. i didn't get a baseball themed name there or a basketball
themed name of sports thing you take baseball yeah okay yeah as you said wolverine uh can be
burnt to a crisp and regrow everything even his hair so does this mean does this mean he can never
cut his hair and even if he did it at a salon or something it would grow back if not what would
you rather be a mortal with the same hair for two cent from two centuries ago or be normal and not be Wolverine?
P.S. James, I'm your official vague and unexplained dog of the podcast.
Very good.
Good question.
What would you rather be?
Same haircut, 200 years.
Yes, that one.
You want to be immortal?
Yeah.
We've discussed this many times off the podcast.
I don't understand why you want to be immortal.
Because it'd be amazing.
You don't understand what you're saying.
I do. The planet explodes. I'm fine with that. Which it will'd be amazing. You don't understand what you're saying. I do.
The planet explodes.
I'm fine with that.
Which it will. In this case of immortality, what we're saying, we've discussed this many times.
Yeah.
No matter what happens, you're fine and you live.
Yes.
So, no, I'm on board with that.
Which means you'd basically rocket to another, you'd eventually hit another planet.
Yeah, great.
Which is, presumably, there's nobody on it.
Yeah.
But I guess if enough time passes.
Precisely.
You'll run into something.
Yes, that's what I'm saying.
I don't even know what you're doing.
What are you doing?
What an amazing adventure into infinity.
Why would you want to do that forever?
To infinity and beyond.
You've lost your mind.
That's what Buzz Lightyear is.
He's an immortal.
He's gone mad in the depths of space.
Well, they are all immortal.
Yeah.
Those toys are literally immortal.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know what you're doing.
Yeah.
All right, just a quick shout-out to Ali.
He did a new Grab That Gem playlist.
Also, I could wear hats.
Yeah, I guess you could.
I've had the same haircut all the time.
Yeah, that's true.
But what era, though?
Like, imagine.
Exactly.
You'd have to pick your haircut era.
I'd be normal.
You can't pick normal.
No, I'd be normal as in not Wolverine.
Oh, I see.
Right, then fine.
People always... I've been asked that question, what superpower would you have?
And I'm just like, none.
Nothing.
Wow.
None of it.
Wow.
I just want to be a guy.
That's against the ethos of our show, which is grab that gem, you know.
Fine.
I'm bloody, I'm an inch taller.
Oh, great.
Or shorter.
I don't care.
Bold new era for you.
Yeah.
Yeah. Did you see, he said in a new Grab That Gem playlist
Which people can look up
Oh no
But there's one where he's
Oh, it's the supercut
Yeah, well no
But it's actually
You'll recognise this person
Grab That Gem
Oh my goodness, very good
That's bloody Sean Gunn
Brother of James Gunn
Yeah
We're working our way up the ladder
Yes we are.
Next stop.
We'll be guest starring on Thor, whatever it is.
Ragnarok.
Thor, whatever it is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Also, shout out to Elise Sung, Logan George Patterson, who was born.
That's really awesome.
Oh, fantastic.
Yeah.
And he also says, what do you think of Age of Ultron's 1.4 billion being labeled as a failure?
We talked about that. He wasn't listening, obviously. Yeah. Come on, man. That's 1.4 billion being labelled as a failure we talked about that
he wasn't listening obviously
yeah
come on man
that's awesome
he's a good bloke
great stuff
that's the show
did it again
how have you found this
here's to 100 more
which we're going to record
this week
sure
we will do a clip shot
at one point
maybe in the near future
which will be
okay I guess
I know people
a lot of people wanted that.
We'll do that.
We'll do a cancel comic book movies.
We'll do a James Bond episode that we've talked,
that we've threatened.
We'll do a Shyamalan episode.
Oh, so good.
Any other episode.
I'm looking forward to singing all them James Bond themes,
let me tell you.
We're going to have to do it by eras of James Bond.
Okay, cool.
So I guess we start with Craig,
or do we start with Connery,
or do we start with Brosnan?
No, we'll wing it.
Yeah, we will.
Yeah.
We will wing it.
We'll pick an era.
I'll tell you what, we'll pick an era on the day.
Yeah.
And then I'll see how many themes I remember.
Okay, great.
Great.
If you want to contact the show, where can people contact the show?
You can find us, Weekly Planet Pod, at Gmail and on Facebook and on Twitter.
And I'm at Wikipedia Brown on Twitter.
I'm at MrSundayMovies.
And also follow The Weekly Planet on Twitter,
who is Raw Collings,
who is better at being The Weekly Planet than we are.
Correct he is.
So that's great.
If you want to support the show,
Weekly Planet,
sorry,
Patreon.com slash MrSundayMovies.
We're going to do an Empire Strikes Back commentary soon,
aren't we?
People really enjoyed the first one.
Yes.
And by people,
I mean I really enjoyed doing it.
Yeah, you did.
Also, yeah, weeklyplanetpod.bandcamp.com
if you just want to grab any of those commentaries.
And that's pretty much it.
Thank you for listening.
It's been 100 episodes.
We bloody had a stellar bloody month as well, didn't we, last month?
Yeah, we did, yeah.
The downloads.
So it's just going up and up.
Going great guns.
Thank you to everybody who's listened to 100 episodes.
Yeah.
No thank you to anybody who's listened to any less than 100 episodes.
Bloody hit the bricks.
No, we genuinely appreciate it though because we just kind of...
We never expected
to get to 100 episodes.
Well, not only that,
just the amount of people that listen
because do you know how many people
do podcasts like in the world?
I was at the pub the other day
with I think eight people.
You need to rein it in, mate.
You're getting loose.
What?
You can't stop me.
You'll know what I've had.
I went to... And I think there was like eight people there.
Sure.
And between us, we had like 13 podcasts or something like that.
And you've got one.
Yeah.
That's amazing.
So, you know, there's a lot out there.
So thanks for people who've decided to choose this one and stick with it.
Absolutely.
Are you in any podcasts at the moment?
I'm in this one.
No, I mean like.
Oh, I'm coming.
No, there'll be another one a couple of weeks.
Yeah, cool.
Yeah.
I did a movie maintenance one on Fantastic Four on Friday.
Oh, yeah, cool, man.
That's pretty good.
Great stuff.
It's Bandit Incorporated as well.
I love that guy.
He's a great dude.
Great stuff.
So no, we really appreciate it.
Yeah, and obviously a lot of this, a lot of the success of this has come down to people
telling other people.
Definitely, yeah.
So, you know, that's awesome.
More subscribing or if you i
don't know how they work we still don't know do all the things yeah doing 100 episodes we still
don't know how itunes works no and we never will never bye everybody bye grab that jam everybody
no catchphrase nice
fine i'll say it who ate all my biscuits yay that's the last time