The Weekly Planet - 102 James Bond - The Craig Years
Episode Date: September 21, 2015Big news this week for Batman creator Bill Finger, the Transformers universe expands, Pacific Rim 2 gets pushed back, Dr Strange casting, Gamit loses its director and more!Plus we break down the Danie...l Craig era of Bond. Thanks for listening! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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FX's The Veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship between two women who play a deadly game of truth and lies on the road from Istanbul to Paris and London.
One woman has a secret, the other a mission to reveal it before thousands of lives are lost.
FX's The Veil, starring Elizabeth Moss, is now streaming on Disney+. Welcome back everybody to another episode of the Weekly Planet,
official podcast of comicbookmovie.com
where we talk movies and TV shows and comics.
My name is James, also known as Mr. Sunday.
With me as always is my co-host, Nicholas Johnson-Mason.
I'm back.
And this week I'm sober as a judge.
Here we go.
You've got a lot of compliments for your one-sider.
Fantastic.
Maybe I'll do it every week.
Absolutely.
What's going on?
What is going on?
I don't know.
Oh, quick plug up the top.
Sure.
Did this last week as well.
But this week I'm on an episode of Steel Wars.
Yeah, yeah.
I listen to it.
My friend, comedian Steel Saunders has a podcast where he talks about Star Wars with a notable
person every week, and he decided to break tradition and go with someone who is largely
indifferent.
Absolutely.
So have a listen if you want to hear someone who has many issues with Star Wars attempt
to be very diplomatic in the face of somebody
who really, really loves Star Wars.
I listened to it.
I really enjoyed it.
It was good fun, I thought.
I also enjoyed how you could see,
I could hear that he wanted to yell at you,
but he didn't.
Yes.
Yeah.
But there's an undercurrent of that, I thought.
Yeah.
So if you like listening to a lot of tension.
Yeah, yeah.
It's good fun.
I had a lot of fun on it.
Yeah, I found there were some unique perspectives on it from both of you.
And we've talked about Star Wars a lot.
Some say too much.
Some say not enough.
No one said that.
Yeah, no one said that.
Okay.
Listen to our Star Wars commentary track.
Please do.
It's only money.
Or free.
It doesn't matter.
Hey, did you hear Bill Finger's going to be officially acknowledged for his contributions to Batman?
Finally.
Finally.
Is they going to do it on the credit to Batman v Superman, maybe?
Yep, that's it.
And Gotham.
Well, that seems a bit like throwing him under the bus more than it.
I did not know about that.
That seems a bit of like, yeah, this is Finger.
Kane didn't have nothing to do with this.
It was all Finger.
Well, so my understanding of it was
that uh what's his name the other dude bob kane bob kane sir bob kane that's not true but it came
up with the idea it's like a of a guy who's just kind of vaguely dresses like a bat in like a
colorful costume yeah and bill finger did like everything yeah bill finger said you know give
him the symbol give him the cape give him the symbol give him the cape give him the ears yeah give him the weapons give him the origin yeah but for whatever reason
bob kane has had the credit for yeah well the last 60 years exactly so that's it's a win for
the bloody fingers mate yeah the finger family the finger clan that's it good for him man that's
great uh do you hear they're gonna do do a Booster Gold slash Blue Beetle buddy cop superhero movie?
What?
Yes.
Is this one of your fake stories that gets me excited?
No.
Why do you always accuse me of fake news?
Look, you've done it once over like 101 episodes.
Maybe.
Now I'm always on edge.
I just don't trust anymore.
This is real, apparently.
Huh.
So what do you think of that happening?
Well, unless they're going to decide to just drop it in somewhere,
it's going to be the end of their slate of movies.
So like 2022.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Well, maybe they will drop it in somewhere
because I don't think we've really seen this properly anyway.
No, we haven't.
No.
Yeah. We've seen animated versions, but we haven really seen this properly anyway. No, we haven't, no. Yeah.
We've seen animated versions, but we haven't seen the real thing.
No, we've seen live-action versions of maybe...
We've definitely seen Booster Gold because he was in Smallville.
Smallville, right, yeah.
And Blue Beetle was probably in that as well, but I don't know.
Yeah.
I tuned out.
It was almost certainly a scene where Booster Gold points
to like an entomology exhibit
and goes, wow, that's a real blue beetle.
Because that was about the level we were operating at
during Smallville.
Absolutely, yeah.
You know?
I tuned out after the bug guy.
So very early on.
So very early on, yeah.
That's really exciting.
Yeah, I know, right?
Apparently the director's, I can't remember his name off the top of my head,
but he's a writer and producer on Arrow and The Flash.
He also had a big hand in Green Lantern, which isn't great.
How much further could he go?
Well, that's it.
So, great.
That is good, yeah.
This is all in the casting, though.
Well, because, you know...
And the script writing.
Sure.
And the budget.
Yeah, all those things.
So gone.
It's probably going to be fine.
Like, we talked about defunct comic book universes last week.
Yeah.
And, you know, DC purchased Charlton Comics decades ago.
And then the plan was...
Initially, Alan Moore wanted them for Watchmen.
Yeah.
They were like, we're going to make them ongoing characters
so you can't use them because Watchmen will ruin them forever.
That's right.
And then realistically, none of those characters,
none of the original characters have really been used.
Not as iconic as...
No.
I mean, Captain Atom is a sort of he's a big
gun in the DC Universe but he's not really had a lot of pivotal roles and
yeah they've all sort of been B list as a best and but they've the appearances
they do make are often very good yeah like booster golden blue beetle were in
Justice League Europe okay which was the and Justice League International which
were kind of like the comedy books.
And they were like very good characters.
There's a really good animated episode of the Justice League
with Booster Gold.
Yes, where he's kind of, he's the joke of the league.
He sort of, he ends up saving the day.
Yeah, that was really good, yeah.
With any luck, because again,
with Justice League Europe and International,
Keith Giffen was the writer on that,
and he sort of gave them a lot of character.
So fingers crossed they'll give him a hand in whatever this is.
Does Booster Gold, does he have tech and powers?
No, he's just got tech.
He's got future technology.
Okay, cool.
Because he comes back to be like a celebrity.
Correct, yes.
Yeah, exactly, yeah.
And Blue Beetle, what's his powers or power?
Oh, he's tech as well.
Good.
Two tech guys together.
Yeah, precisely.
This could be-
We've always wanted.
Yeah.
This could be really good though.
Yeah.
I hope it is.
Yeah.
Well, it's in the Schrodinger's cat arena right now where it's so theoretical that it could
definitely go either way.
Yeah, yeah.
As we add more elements to the equation, it will definitely tip one side or the other.
Absolutely.
I'm excited for this.
Me too.
In 15 years.
Yeah.
And you have to do it lighthearted, wouldn't you?
If it's a buddy cop kind of thing.
Oh, definitely, yeah.
Like, if you can do, like, lethal weapon with superheroes, great.
Although they sort of attempted that with Iron Man 3, didn't they?
Yeah, but that was garbage.
That was garbage, yeah.
It's tipping.
This whole situation is tipping.
Oh, here's some news. Unrelated. You might have that was garbage. That was garbage, yeah. It's tipping. This whole situation is tipping. Oh, here's some news.
Unrelated.
You might have that there already.
Star Wars is getting a new theatrical cut.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
The original theatrical cut is being re-released, right?
Yeah.
On Netflix?
Did somebody say?
I just saw it, like the headline.
Me too.
Good.
Finally.
And I didn't read into it.
So, yeah, not cinemas.
But maybe. I don't know. I didn't read into it. So, yeah, not cinemas. But maybe.
I don't know.
I didn't read this stuff.
Look, I think you can see-
Certainly action figures again.
Yeah.
Look, you can definitely-
You can get the original-
It's Luke Skywalker, but with old hat again.
He's wearing his old hat.
And goggles.
Have you seen his sand goggles?
Yeah.
So this is the new-
Some of the new Force Awakens.
Yeah, yeah.
A lot of people have said that if you look at the figures,
there are clues to where the Star Wars universe has gone
because there's like a line of figures called Armor Up.
Yeah.
You get the characters, but you get additional armor over the top.
And Luke Skywalker is kind of like Sand Person in Exile kind of thing.
Yeah.
So it sort of implies that he's been away in the the desert but like i don't trust yeah exactly i mean there's been very few movie storylines where
batman has had to go under the ocean in like a deep sea diving suit or a magnetic suit that's
right or superman needs a race car correct whatever yeah somebody tweeted me this week
and i'm sorry i've forgotten who it was but it's a kylo ren car and it's just oh sure it's just a
car yep it's like designed to like Kylo Ren.
That's essentially it.
So I look forward to seeing that in the movie.
Oh, definitely.
Yeah, maybe you can drive it up a building.
Are there any wheeled vehicles in Star Wars?
Like there's robots in that that have wheels.
The sand, the giant one.
Oh, yeah, of course it does too.
That thing's on wheels.
I'm an idiot, aren't I?
Or treads at least.
Yeah.
Great.
You're going to get 10,000 tweets with examples of real Star Wars vehicles.
I don't want them.
Oh, wait.
Yeah, they're also in the Clone Wars.
They've got, yep.
I know.
And Kylo Ren has that car.
Yeah, I forgot.
Speaking of garbage things.
Yes.
But maybe this will be good.
Oh, did you hear that theory?
Force Awakens theory.
Sure.
Why am I talking about Star Wars?
You've been bloody brainwashed
mate. I've been brainwashed, exactly, from going on
Steel Wars, the Star Wars podcast with Steel
Saunders on iTunes.
This is a theory
and it's spoilers or maybe it's not spoilers
but Kylo Ren is
attempting to clone Darth Vader. That would be
sweet. Yeah, I know, right? Wait.
I don't know.
I need time to think about that.
Exactly, that's right.
Ask me at the end of the podcast.
I'll subconsciously process it.
Great.
That makes a lot of sense.
It's something that he would try to do if the rumors about that character are real.
That's right, yeah.
Yeah.
You don't want that guy back anyway.
No, he's bad news.
He's a dickhead.
But Prowse would get some work, so.
Wow.
We don't know.
He definitely wouldn't.
So anyway, the Transformers writer's room has been disbanded.
What does that even mean?
There was like-
They've let all the monkeys go.
Hooray, animal liberation.
So there was about half a-
No, about a dozen or so quality names.
Like the dude who's headlining the Daredevil TV series
and a bunch of other people.
I can't remember them off the top of my head,
but they've come up with enough ideas
for the Transformers universe.
Forever.
Yeah, so this is what they've got.
An animated prequel to tell the origins
of the Autobots and Decepticons.
Okay.
So just re-release the old Transformers
cartoons?
Absolutely.
And the second idea
and final is
Transformers 5
directed by Michael
Bay probably.
Wow they really did
it again didn't they?
Hooray!
Hooray!
All the ideas!
So Spielberg
Spielberg though
has a hand in it
because he produces
the Transformers movies
because you know
initially they went to him
like Hasbro and whoever
were like
do you want to do Transformers
and he's like
definitely not
but
get Michael Bay to do it
because
he'd do this crap
so
again
the first Transformers
is good
ish
yeah it is
it's still the best one
yeah
it's not better than
the animated one
from the 80s which I don't even think is great I think it is it's still the best one yeah it's not better than the animated one from the 80s
which i don't even think is great i think it is great you've said some things here that you won't
be able to take back don't care i'll care later once i've processed it absolutely but yeah sorry
spielberg says that there's potential for up for up to five or nine movies nothing in between
it's five or nine no No, anywhere between that.
So what do you think?
Yeah, all right.
We'll suffer through a few more.
I guess so.
Look, maybe it's faster than
Furious Syndrome.
Maybe at five it'll get good.
Yeah, because one was good.
Yep.
Ish.
Two through four were bad.
Yep.
Aren't the Dinobots
are coming back, right?
Apparently.
Yeah.
Apparently this new one
I read like a synopsis
and it's like
Cade Yeager
the Mark Wahlberg character
will have to team up
with the Autobots
to stop an impending
threat on Earth
but then also Optimus Prime
is still flying into space
exactly
remember that
when he flew into space
you didn't know
he could do that
but then he did
so that sounds like
all the other Transformers
movies though
impending threat
and I think they're putting the Quintessons in it or something.
I can't.
A prequel, I could definitely watch an Autobot Decepticon war.
Because, you know, like those video games, which are great.
Yeah, sure.
But I don't want any of these designs because I don't.
I'm sick of the sharp, jagged, metal-y designs.
I want some classic Transformers designs.
You'll never get that, not ever.
You're right.
I haven't earned it.
I haven't sat through enough shit, so I don't...
Anyway.
Look, I'm okay with it continuing.
Just give us fewer moving parts flying through the screen.
That's right.
Just give us...
Half.
Give us half the number of flying pieces of shrapnel
and, like, Transformers that turn into flying clouds of cubes.
Just give us half of that and it'll be much easier to follow.
Yes.
More product placement.
Also, cut out an hour.
Yep.
Speaking of things.
We can do that, yeah.
Yeah.
Pacific Rim has been pushed back.
Pacific Rim 2 indefinitely.
Did they give you a Pacific reason for that?
They did not say it specifically.
Very good.
Is that because Guillermo del Toro is doing something else?
Well, no, because he says, look, hopefully we'll get to do another one.
But he goes, I'm putting in a script treatment and a budget in like three weeks,
but I'll probably do something before then, which to me means this is dead.
Look, Perlman put a gun to my head and he's making me do Hellboy 3.
What would you rather see?
Hellboy 3.
Absolutely.
Look, I have no real problem with Pacific Rim, but it's not good enough, quite frankly.
Sure, yeah.
It didn't perform well enough and it's not good enough to warrant a sequel as a movie
do you agree
with any of those things
no I agree
yeah
also Perlman
would be in
Pacific Rim as well
yeah
he came back
didn't he
yeah
so
it's a shame
it was a fun novelty
yeah
I'd like to see
another one
but if it's the choice
between the two
yeah
absolutely
also I thought
Godzilla was better
than Pacific Rim
and sorry
Legendary owns all those, or whoever.
We talked about it last week.
Whoever, I think it's Warner Brothers, owns them all.
So they could all merge them all together if they wanted to, I guess.
But, again, I don't need any more Pacific Rim movies.
I'd rather see a Voltron movie or another five to nine Transformers movies.
Transformers movies, definitely, yeah.
Great.
Rachel McAdams will star in Doctor Strange
as the female lead.
Clear.
But that's what people are saying, yeah.
Right, right.
But it's unclear at this point in time.
It's unclear?
No, they said clear.
Unclear?
They didn't say that.
They said clear.
Okay.
They were very clear about it.
This is a very good skit we're doing.
Thank you.
What's clear about it? The best part of that skit we're doing. Thank you. What's clear about it?
The best part of that skit was I was unsure if you knew what I was doing.
Because you had this blank thousand-yard stare.
I always have that.
Cleo, what's her deal?
Magic?
Yeah, magic.
Mystery?
Spells and illusion?
Yeah, all that stuff, yeah.
Mandrake?
Yeah.
Yeah, Mandrake the magician.
He wasn't really magic, was he?
No, it was all illusions.
But it's never explained how the illusions work.
How he could make like a giant hologram of a snake or something.
Yeah, he's never like, okay, I've got these hologram projectors or whatever.
I've got hypnosis.
He never says.
He's just got a lot of illusions.
Throws a lot of cards, a lot of Mr. X.
Yeah. By the way, I feel like whenever we bring up Mandrake the magician, we should bring up Defenders of the Earth. He never says. He's just got a lot of illusions. Throws a lot of cards, a lot of Mr. X.
By the way, I feel like whenever we bring up Mandate the Magician,
we should bring up Defenders of the Earth,
and when we bring up Defenders of the Earth,
I should play the Defenders of the Earth theme song.
Defenders of the Earth.
Defenders.
Out of the sky, his rockets ignite.
Jets into battle, flying faster than light.
Flash Gordon.
Lord of the jungle, The hero who stops.
The beasts call him brother.
The ghost war.
Fans.
Defenders of the earth.
Defenders.
Defenders of the earth.
Defenders.
Dun dun.
That'll do it.
It's the best theme song.
Really?
Yes.
I won't edit in a lettuce theme song, but I'll edit in that.
Okay, great.
Because it's the best.
Written by, lyrics by Stan Lee. What if, hypothetically speaking, since you won't edit one in,
somebody would have created Defenders of the Earth Lettuce theme
and send that in for next week?
Oh, my God.
Yeah, challenge.
We're going to get about 50 of those.
Yeah, and they'll all be the best.
Each one will be better than the last.
Great.
Yeah.
Did you see a picture of the red tornado?
He asks, knowing you did.
Because you literally texted it to me.
Yes, I did. You said, have you seen it? I said you did. Because you literally texted it to me. Yes, I did.
You said, have you seen it?
I said yes.
And then you texted it to me.
Yeah, I did.
So this is for Supergirl.
Look, it's the, it works in the context of that universe, I guess.
Yep.
Look, it looks very Arrow of the Flash.
Yeah.
Like it's got that, it looks like the Vision.
Yep.
But with less color
yep he looks kind of big around the middle when do you get his where do you get his powers
uh he is uh i don't know what the current version is but he used to be
he used to be a he was earth's air elemental okay there's four element there's four elementals in
the world it's usually swamp thing firestorm, Firestorm, Red Tornado,
and whatever the water one is.
Nobody cares.
Isn't Animal Man one of them now?
Or his daughter?
Maybe.
Oh, maybe.
Anyway, go on.
Animal Man comic's really good, by the way.
Yeah.
Anyway, go on.
And I think the idea was you can't be an elemental
unless you have a physical form of some kind.
Okay.
And so it went into a robot body.
Oh, that's what that is.
Yeah, now it makes a lot of sense, right?
That guy looks worse than Crichton.
Crichton from the notoriously low-budget British sci-fi comedy series Red Dwarf.
Yeah, look, it'll be fine.
I don't really care.
It's good enough for a character.
And also it'll be spinning around most of the time so you won't see it.
Didn't you get your fill of tornado guys
from the first episode of The Flash
when there was a tornado guy?
There was a tornado guy, wasn't there?
Or was he called like Wind Man?
It was called Wind Farm.
No, it was Weather Wizard, sorry.
Yeah.
We had Weather Wizard.
And then we had a different Weather Wizard.
Captain Renewable Energy.
Great.
Do you know Rupert Wyatt who directed Rise of the Planet of the Apes?
I didn't, but go ahead.
He did.
But he's left the Gambit movie, which is due out next October.
It was, because I think the filming got pushed back, so he had to leave.
So the Gambit movie has no director.
It's bloody rudderless, mate.
Wow.
It's a sinking ship.
Let's panic.
What do you think? Eh, the second AD's probably got it. It's fine. Whatless, mate. Wow. It's a sinking ship. Let's panic. What do you think?
Eh, the second AD's probably got it.
It's fine.
What's the director really do?
You spend a lot of time criticising directors.
I really do.
Why?
Because there's a lot of bad movies.
Have you noticed?
Have you noticed?
I noticed.
We saw one just earlier.
We did.
We saw the movie Pan, the prequel to the peter pan universe garbage but
you're only saying that because you were offered some island paradise i was i came back from the
beach yeah fucking peter pan prequel uh-huh but that's not why it's not i didn't hate it so much
well it's look long story short it's not good enough to devote an entire episode to no so we
won't talk about it probably but i didn't
mind it so much look yeah it's not terrible but it's just not very interesting garrett headland
does his worst han solo impersonation for the entire thing he even has the same arc as han solo
but he's also supposed to be i guess i'm spoiling this like he also supposed to be well he's james
hook james hook and there's no there's no other hooks in them in that universe there's one guy
called hook yeah so we know he's going to turn bad but we never see him do anything bad he's just
like i'm a liar and a scoundrel he says that several times and then he does nothing but heroic
things yes exactly yeah oh and he has a literal hook that he carries with him yeah and there's a
lot of like oh i'm trying to think of it what's a peter pan thing i don't know there's a lot of
nods to peter pan like really literal nods yeah good on you pete nod that's a lot of that but like you know really
obvious tips of the hat uh-huh which i did not enjoy and i said bear in mind it's a children's
film and you said i said there were dozens of children in that children in that theater and
they didn't do or say anything for the entire movie and we had katrina roundtree sitting behind
us for those people who don't know is an australian celebrity she was on what's up doc and
get away and probably some other garbage and she was what did you say she was doing the emotions
that a child should have for the first 30 minutes to her children like oh who's that look out to
like that kind of stuff but then she stopped do. Do you know why? Because she was bored. Wow.
Yeah.
But on the other hand, we had a delightful message from Hugh Jackman,
Australia's own Hugh Jackman.
Yeah, he was good in it.
Who was like,
hope you enjoy it.
And I'm like, I will.
I love you, Hugh Jackman.
I will.
I will enjoy it.
And I did.
No, you didn't.
You don't want to disappoint Hugh Jackman, do you?
Look, he was good in it.
Yeah.
Everybody except Garrett Hedlund is good in it.
The Peter pan kid's
good yep everyone's fine but even like it's not as interesting a world as hook it's not as
interesting peter that australian guy who's the head chief of the the bloody oh yeah the native
people the lost boy just keeps his australian accent he's good i like him yeah he was fine
yeah uh there was like a a weird bouncy castle fight. Yep, there sure was.
Which may or may not become the new parkour.
Hint, it won't.
Spoilers.
But none of that was as good as Hook.
And like the characters weren't as interesting.
Because Hook's, I mean, I saw Hook when I was a child.
So it's obviously difficult to compare.
But even like there was a Peter Pan remake about 10 years ago
with Jason Isaacs as Hook.
And he's great.
And that was a pretty good remake of Peter Pan remake about 10 years ago with Jason Isaacs as Hook. Yeah. And he's great.
And that was a pretty good remake of Peter Pan.
So you can watch any of the 50 incarnations of Peter Pan instead of watching this Peter Pan prequel.
Also, nothing in the world makes sense.
We talked about the flying ships.
We had a very heated discussion in the car.
And you were like, it doesn't matter.
Don't worry about it.
And I'm like, I can't get past it.
How do they fly?
Like, are they magic? They're not. Sometimes they crash and then they don't worry about it i'm like i can't get past it how do they fly like are they
magic they're not sometimes they crash and then they don't work they find one that's been crashed
and hooks like i'll just fix this ship and then it's flying but it's like how does it work is it
wind is it magic and and there's what they move in 360 degrees but the wheel only goes left and
right like i don't understand it but thing is, if the world was better
and it was a more enjoyable movie,
I wouldn't be thinking about how that stupid ship works.
Also, it's not a musical, but there's weirdly,
there's a small number of contemporary songs
that are inserted in there as like chants and stuff like that.
So like Smells Like Teen Spirit
and Blitzkrieg Bop by the Ramones is in there.
And again,
it smells like teen spirit has been done like that in Moulin Rouge.
Yeah.
So,
so same universe is what you're saying.
That's exactly what I'm saying.
The Lermaverse.
And also,
okay.
Hook's plan,
he wants to escape because,
spoilers,
doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
Yeah.
Hook is, Hook's, to escape because spoilers doesn't matter it doesn't matter it doesn't matter yeah hook is
hooks blackbeard is kidnapping orphans and making them work in a mine to mine for fairy dust so he
can be young forever yep fine whatever but hook was like i'm gonna use peter pan because peter
pan showed he could fly right because hook kicks him out off the flying ship i don't know how it
flies and and then p Peter Pan can fly briefly.
So he's like, what we're going to do, I'm going to take you.
You're going to fly us to the airship.
And you're going to fly us the last 20 meters to the airship. Sure, yeah.
And then they get there and Hook's like,
I've been working on this plan for years.
Like you've been working on this plan to get 20 meters from the ship
and bank on a flying boy turning up that you would happen to run into it
then kidnap
and then make do this.
Well,
I would not kidnap,
but I guess convince.
And there's a lot of self-doubt
from Peter.
He's like,
I don't know if I'm really doing it.
I don't know if I really am
the chosen one.
You can fly.
Who have seen it?
You are the chosen one.
You know you are.
Who else can do this?
No,
literally no one else can do that.
You're the only person
who can fly in this universe.
You know what would be good?
A Pan Pre prequel.
So it explains why there's flying ships.
It explains why Blackbeard is taught
everybody smells like teen spirit as a chant.
See, here's what I'm saying,
because in the movie he says,
Blackbeard says,
I've taken these children from all eras.
Yeah.
You missed that.
So I would be interested in...
So it strikes me that Blackbeard might be from the 90s yeah and he's learned and in his brain he's like this is the
this is it i've just figured it out yeah he's dave grohl not only that at the end they need
peter pan to learn to fly
very good yeah we did it but they need Peter Pan to unlock the fairy kingdom
Because
To use the fairies to stop Blackbeard
And they go in
And then all that Peter Pan's like
Attack Captain Hook
And then they do
But like you said they only just needed leadership it turns out
Because they just wiped the floor with all those pirates
Didn't took like a minute and a half
Yeah
Anyway that's a review of pan it's garbage i didn't mind it all right
continue anyway so rupert grids left rupert white sorry has left gambit rupert grids ron from harry
butter so they're going to get a new director which is i think that's fine yeah as you said
what the directors really do but especially for the Marvel movies where...
This is a fox.
Whatever, it doesn't matter.
But clearly foxes are just...
They've done the same thing.
They swapped out Matthew Vaughn for Brett Ratner.
They swapped out Matthew Vaughn for Bryan Singer.
But here's what I'm saying.
Marvel movies, I imagine, are just copied shamelessly by fox.
They swapped out Josh Trank for nothing.
Yeah, exactly.
For one of those birds that tips into a glass of water.
One of those.
But they just have a whiteboard
and it just says all the things that you need to do
to create a superhero movie and they just follow that.
So no director, doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter.
Yeah.
Flowchart.
Follow the flowchart.
Follow the flowchart.
doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter.
Yeah.
Flowchart.
Follow the flowchart.
Follow the flowchart.
FX's The Veil explores the surprising
and fraught relationship
between two women
who play a deadly game
of truth and lies
on the road from Istanbul
to Paris and London.
One woman has a secret.
The other,
a mission to reveal it
before thousands of lives
are lost.
FX's The Veil, starring Elizabeth Moss, is now streaming on Disney+.
We thought this week, Mason, because James Bond is a movie that's coming out,
James Bond Spectre, and we've been promising for however many episodes we've done
that we would talk about James Bond at some point,
that we'd talk about James Bond at this point.
At this point right now.
That's correct.
And look, we can't talk about all things James Bond because there's so many.
How many James Bonds has there been?
20-something.
No, sorry.
Actors.
20-something.
Hang on.
Maybe.
Connery.
Connery.
Lazenby.
Lazenby.
Roger Moore.
Well, Connery, Lazenby, Connery again. Roger Roger Moore Connery again
Roger Moore
Connery again
Dalton
Brosnan
Daniel Craig
Plus the unofficial Casino Royale
Which contained David Niven
And Woody Allen
Yes
And the remaining five
Because there were seven James Bonds in Casino Royale
Yes
That's how the theme goes
Plus
Seven James Bonds in Casino Royale. Yes. That's how the theme goes. Plus. Seven James Bonds in Casino Royale.
Went to save the world and win the girl at Casino Royale.
That's how the theme goes.
How do you know that?
I've seen it.
How many times?
I don't know.
More than I should have.
Yeah.
Like once and a half.
I don't know.
It's very slow.
It's so slow.
Yeah.
It's bad, right?
It's like the original Ocean's Eleven where people are like,
this is good, and then you watch it and you're like, no, this isn't that good.
People are just wandering out of Casino real smooth.
It's just like Sinatra slowly sidling up to various bars just with a drink in his hand.
He doesn't move his elbow the whole time.
He's just sidling.
And also there was a TV movie sort of.
As Jimmy Bond.
Jimmy Bond.
So basically we're going to do.
We're just going to do the Daniel Craig.
Okay, let's do Daniel Craig.
Okay, cool.
Do you have any other ideas?
No, that's fine.
Good, because I watched Quantum of Solace.
Oh, good.
So we'll do obviously the ones that have already been out.
So that's Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace, Skyfall,
leading up to Spectre next month, I think it is.
Yeah, it is.
Very close.
November, yeah.
Which I'm very excited for.
Yeah, I think it's early November for us.
I think it's a week earlier in the UK.
Right.
Because they always get them a bit earlier.
So, very excited to see what James Bond has been up to.
What Jimmy Bond has been up to.
Correct.
What's his deal?
Yeah.
Good.
Very excited to see that blowfell reveal.
That's clearly not going to be a surprise to anybody.
What if it is, though?
What if it's someone else? Like Dr. something yeah i would be impressed if they're like it's dr now i'll be
like okay you got me yeah you got me i hope it's not going to be but for those who don't know
in the original james bond mythos yeah the head of specter yeah which is going to be where we're
redoing the origin of all the classic james bond stuff the Daniel Craig Bond. Spectre was sort of the main opposition to MI6.
Which they only just got the rights back to.
Right, exactly.
Which is why in Quantum Solace, the villain is Quantum.
Yes.
And I think in...
The cast of Quantum Leap.
Scott Bakula, Harry Dean Stanton, is that his name?
That'll do it.
Yep.
Or Richard, no, Morgan, Harry, I don't know. Richard Morgan, Harry. Yeah. Harry Dean Stanton is that his name? that'll do it yep or Richard
no
Morgan
Harry
I don't know
Richard Morgan
Harry
yeah
all those guys
anyway so
I think in
in Spectre
it's going to be revealed
that Quantum Elycus
some sort of
subsidiary of that
an arm of Spectre
exactly yeah
so
why is Spectre's thing an octopus?
why shouldn't it be like
a spectacle?
a spectre?
oh a spectacle that's even better just a spectacle? A specter? Oh, a spectacle.
That's even better.
Just a spectacle.
Just somebody just-
Make it a real scene.
Just tearing their clothes off in the street.
The Stop Coney guy.
He should be the symbol of Spector.
A motion poster.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Anyway.
What are we doing?
I don't know.
So in the original James Bond, the head of Spectre is Blofeld.
Yeah.
Who's sort of a bald-headed man in sort of a grey Mao suit.
And he's got a scar down one eye.
It's Dr. Evil.
Yeah, it's Dr. Evil.
There we go.
Thank you.
And he's always petting a cat.
He's got a white cat.
Correct.
And anyway, what's his face?
I was going to say.
Christoph Waltz.
Yes.
Christoph Waltz is in this.
I had Sean Bean and then no,
and then I had Sean Penn.
All the Seans.
Yeah.
But he's in this one and they're like,
oh, he's this character.
And everybody in the world's like.
Oberhauser.
Oberhauser.
And everybody in the world's like,
no, he's going to be Blofeld.
Yeah.
Because why wouldn't you?
So if he's not that.
Yeah.
But also,
I hope there's not going to be a big reveal in the movie.
Oh, okay.
Because it implies that everybody has been a fan
of all the Bond movies from the start.
Yeah.
And when he goes, but I'm actually Ernst Stavro Blofeld,
at least half of the audience will be like, what does that mean?
What does that mean to anyone?
It's the Khan reveal.
Yeah, it is, isn't it?
I'm Khan.
Who cares?
Who cares?
My name is Khan. Great. Yeah, it is, isn't it? I'm Khan. Who cares? My name is Khan.
Great.
Okay, great.
Yeah.
Why did you say it like that?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So anyway, we'll do it.
So if we're going to do the Craigs in the coming months,
we'll do the remainder of them.
Yeah.
When you get around to watching the Connery Bonds.
Jesus.
And the Roger Moore Bonds, which are quite delightful.
I could do the Roger Moore Bonds now.
Yeah.
We'll get to them.
We will. I feel they're Roger Moore Bonds now. Yeah. We'll get to them. We will.
I feel they're the most fun.
Definitely.
And probably the worst.
No, the Brosnan ones are the worst.
Except for Goldeneye.
Look, it's a mixed bag.
In many ways, they're all the worst.
It's a mixed bag all the way through.
It really is.
Anyway, let's go Casino Royale.
Okay, cool.
Let's talk about it.
Which is easily the best Bond film. I feel it is, yeah. Yeah, that's my fave. Yeah. Anyway, let's go Casino Royale. Okay, cool. Let's talk about it. Which is easily the best Bond film.
I feel it is, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's my fave.
Yeah.
I feel having, you know, when we hadn't seen a Bond film for many years,
since License to Kill.
What?
Wait, and since the Brosnan, sorry.
It was made in 2002.
I completely blanked all the Chris Brosnan films.
Because you're right, they are the worst.
But, I mean, we hadn't seen one since.
Tomorrow Never Dies.
Tomorrow Never Lies.
Die Another Day.
Where's the Spies?
Despise the Spies?
Is that what it is? Yeah, that's the one, yeah.
Anyway.
Anyway, we hadn't seen a good one.
Like a proper one.
Like a proper one in a long time.
Yeah.
But I would argue a lot of these new Bond films aren't very Bond.
Even though I like them in general.
Yes.
He's not a very Bond Bond.
That's the thing, though, as we'll probably get to in this.
And he's good.
I like him.
One of the main things about Bond films is their biggest...
Sorry?
Bond is the main thing.
Yeah, James Bond is the main thing.
Correct.
Martini.
Sidling up.
It's just going to be us saying things.
But the Bond films are just mishmashes
and they are whatever is popular at the time
will be hastily integrated into whatever,
into the current Bond film.
They set no trends.
They set no trends.
They follow all the trends.
And Casino Royale is very much a reaction to Die Another Day
being terrible and people loving Jason Bourne.
Correct, yes.
That's why Casino Royale exists.
Because, you know, Die Another Day was gadget overload.
Yep.
It was catchphrase overload.
Invisible cars and green screens.
It was smarm overload.
It was sidling up to a bar overload
it was just yeah it ice palaces look we'll talk more about die another day when we go to the
brosnans which i assume we'll do last but that if if if you have an invisible car if your plan to
get into the super villains lair is you just make your car invisible and you drive in yeah
you're not a super spy because i could have done that yes that's right so that's that's my problem with a lot of james bond because he like dismisses
q q's like here's a jacket which will literally stop you from dying in an avalanche and he's like
fuck off q and then he uses it yeah and he never i want to see where he goes back and he's like
hey you totally saved me like i'm sorry for dismissing
you like i do every week yeah because you've saved me dozens of times it's it's uncanny how
you're always doing it it's uncanny how you're you always i always use the exact number of gadgets
you've given me and i've used them all by the end i never have some spare one occasionally he's got
a spare one occasionally yeah but But especially all the older ones,
he uses all the gadgets that he's provided with.
It's so handy.
It's amazing.
But yeah, so Casino Royale had the minimum amount of gadgets.
Yep.
Didn't even have a proper car chase, really.
It was a good car flip.
It was a good car flip.
That car was really expensive as well.
Yeah, yeah.
Trash the shit out of that car.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're right.
It was like proto-Bond.
Yeah, which I guess was partly by design.
Which I'm okay with that,
but I feel the problem with these new ones is
he's always proto-Bond.
When is he going to be Bond?
Yes, because I...
My assumption was at the end of Skyfall,
because we see, and we'll talk about it in a second,
we see everything sort of go back to the original,
original status quo.
Yeah.
And it's Ralph Fiennes.
Yes, that's right.
And we've got a Miss Moneypenny who's working.
She's not in the field anymore.
Yep.
And we've got Bond and he's, you know, suited up as Bond.
Yep.
And he's going into the MI6 offices and they're like,
here's a mission for you, Bond.
Here's a mission.
And you're like, finally, the next Bond is just going to be him doing a mission. Correct. And it's going into the MI6 offices and they're like, here's a mission for you, Bond. Here's a mission. And you're like, finally, the next Bond is just going to be him doing a mission.
Correct.
And it's not.
It's always him dealing with something from his past.
And some destiny that he's got going on.
He's got some stray destiny.
Anyway, let's talk about Casino Royale.
Okay.
So do you remember the initial reaction to Daniel Craig being cast as Bond?
People were against it.
I was like.
I was going to say from his head to his toes because people were like, he's a blonde Bond.
No, like he's blonde and he's too short
and he looks like a potato.
And all of those things are true.
Oh, yeah.
But he's awesome.
How short is he?
I think he's like 5'9".
Huh.
Bond's supposed to be like 6'1", isn't he?
6'2".
Who knows?
But he doesn't look small, does he?
No.
Like there's never a point...
They can do that with camera tricks.
What?
Can they?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
God.
Yeah.
I had no idea.
That's right.
But what were we talking about?
I don't.
Yeah.
So people hated it.
Yeah.
There was like petitions to throw him off.
There was petitions.
There was for whatever.
There was a, there was a, a launch.
It was like a promotional launch.
I remember this.
Yeah.
Where they got, they got Daniel Craig on a boat.
Yeah. Like a Navy boat. Yeah. Like a, like a pontoon boat Daniel Craig on a boat, like a Navy boat,
like a pontoon boat or a speedboat or something like that,
and they were like, let's have him go along the Thames in a speedboat
and then arrive at the dock and get off the dock
and be classic Bond in his suit or whatever.
But then clearly at some point the occupational health
and safety officer was like-
Always ruining shit for everyone.
Always ruining, exactly.
Thank you, finally. And they were like, he has to wear a life vest he has to wear a vest and so
every suit he has the big the big orange puffy puffy vest and and so he had to sort of clamber
onto the shore like he's sure he's standing up and he's looking as regal as he can in his puffy
vest but people are like he's a coward. He's got a coward's heart.
He'll never be born.
You'd never see Brosnan in a life vest.
Yeah, it was weird, right?
I was on board from day one.
I was like, I've seen Layer Cake.
This will be great.
Yeah.
But people are not on board.
And look, he's definitely more, he's the most thug Bond that we've had.
Yes.
Like he's a thug, right?
Yeah.
Well, he made up for the lack of height in width. Yes, that's certainly true. Yes. Like he's a thug, right? Yeah. Well, he made up for the lack of height in width.
Yes, that's certainly true.
Yeah.
Like a potato.
Like a potato.
Do you feel he's the best Bond though?
Is he your favourite Bond?
Like he doesn't fit the picture of the classic, you know, the first time you see Sean Connery as Bond, it kind of cuts to him and he's at a poker table and he's got a cigarette hanging
out of one side of his mouth.
He's got a tuxedo on.
He's looking good.
Yeah, and he's got a fistful and he's got a cigarette hanging out of one side of his mouth. He's got a tuxedo on. He's looking good. He's got a fistful of cards or whatever.
Yeah, yeah.
And that's as iconic as you get.
It's not that.
Yeah.
Look, here's my take on Daniel Craig Bond.
Yeah.
For me, he is coasting on Casino Royale.
He's rapidly running out of steam
because they have been losing quality, I feel steadily.
Oh, really?
Wow.
Okay.
Awesome.
So just based on Casino Royale, he is my favorite Bond.
Yep.
But that ship is sinking.
And nobody's got a life raft on.
They definitely should.
I'll wait to this.
Do you think that's to do with him, though?
How do you mean?
Like, is it his fault that they're getting worse in your eyes?
No, it's the writing and the directing.
Yeah.
I think it was a mistake to bring back Sam Mendes from Skyfall
and to do the new one and push back the start date.
Because I reckon they should be banging these out every two years.
Yeah.
Just getting them going.
And he's got one more after this as well.
Will it be a mission?
It has to be, right?
It's got to be.
No, it won't be because it'll be him.
I reckon they're going to Empire Strikes Back this.
Oh, God.
They've already Empire Strikes Backed it.
I know, but it worked for Empire Strikes Back, didn't it?
And nothing else.
Nothing else.
Yes.
But they're going to end on some sort of cliffhanger
where Blofeld's got the upper hand.
Or Oberhauser.
Or Dr. No.
Or Kananga.
Yes.
Or Blood Eye.
Or Sheriff J.W. Pepper.. Or Sheriff J.W. Pepper.
The super racist J.W. Pepper.
We'll talk about him in the Roger Mudd ones.
Absolutely we will.
Yeah, you're absolutely right.
But in terms of this one,
it's got a great opening where you see he has to get a kill
to become a double agent.
You need two kills, is that right?
Well, that's the mythos they've invented for this particular.
I feel like as well,
like he's definitely killed more people than that.
Just off the books.
Like off the books.
Right.
Don't you reckon?
Just not while working for MI6.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because do they explain,
do they ever touch on his background in this incarnation?
Because he was in the Navy, wasn't he?
Yes.
Well, here's the thing.
This especially fueled, and it was done by Skyfall,
but this fueled the mythos that, because this is a soft reboot
of the Bond universe because it kept Judi Dench's M
and it kept the modern day.
That's it.
They kept the modern day setting, but they brought in a new Bond.
Yeah.
And it's just, and he's just becoming Bond.
Yeah.
So it's kind of, they've screwed up the timeline, but it built this, it helped build this internet
fan theory that when you become 007, you were also issued with the code name James Bond.
Correct.
And so it's been a series of different men who have been James Bond.
Who have presumably been killed.
Yes.
So Pierce Brosnan at some point was killed.
I want to see that movie.
Me too.
Maybe by cue.
Maybe he's finally tired of just being given these incredibly
life-saving gadgets and no reward.
Great.
Yeah.
But yeah, so it was this soft reboot, which sort of confused people.
But the way a great Bond podcast, which we've talked about is-
James Bonding.
James Bonding's amazing.
And they only do it every few months.
And they work, they started at Skyfall and what's the first one?
Dr. No.
Dr. No.
And they've just worked forward, like back and forth.
They go new one, old one, new one, old one,
until they're meeting in the middle.
Well, I say that's for chumps.
Let's do it the way we do it, which is we'd say some stuff randomly.
Yes.
But the way that one of those guys does it is Casino Royale is the first,
then Quantum, and then in between Quantum and Skyfall,
all the other James Bond things happen.
Right.
And then it's Skyfall because he's burnt out.
Oh, interesting.
But it doesn't matter.
There's no continuity to it.
No, that's true.
Like sometimes he's married, like,
because he got married in...
On Her Majesty's Secret Service.
And then like he visits the grave as the Roger Moore version.
Like it's all over the shop.
Yeah, totally.
It doesn't matter.
This is the last like ironic use, non-ironic use of parkour maybe.
Sure, the death knell for parkour, yeah.
And it's probably one of the best uses of it in film
because it's not just two guys doing parkour.
It's one guy doing parkour.
Yeah, it's not that both have been granted the abilities of parkour.
That's actually I think one of the founders of parkour, that guy.
Yeah, Johnny Parkour.
Johnny Parkour.
Le Johnny Parkour.
Sorry, yeah.
Francois parkour
oh can we talk about the the way he has to get two kills if we can go back to that yeah i enjoyed
that scene immensely yeah i thought that was great they were black and white they were a bit
of black and white um spoilers for bond films for every bond film yeah not just these ones but all
of them because we're just cross-referenceenced, because we're not really paying attention. Yeah. But the best part of that scene initially, I think,
is you see him put the bullet through the section chief,
and as he tumbles back over his desk,
you see a picture of his wife and children on the desk.
Like, and it's quite prominent.
Yeah.
And I think the idea, he is this instrument of death.
Yeah.
That's his job, and he's going to do it.
Absolutely.
What does he say?
You want me to be part monk, part hitman or something at one point? Yeah yeah that's his job and he's gonna do absolutely what does he say you want me to be part monk part hitman correct at one point that's right i think they do rest on
i think they need to get away from all that now just get like you said get back to missions
like there's a lot of like the first consider i was all about like human cost and consequences
of what it takes to be that person but now that he's kind of he is that yeah a real asshole he
should just be a sociopath which is
what he is a charming sociopath yeah in whatever version whatever way you want to look at it
whichever version there needs to be some sort of charm school montage because he's less charming
than some of the previous ones i think he gets more charming so i think he can kind of he can
turn it on but he doesn't as much as um uh yeah i think this one also has the best Bond girl, Vespa.
Yeah, okay.
No?
Well, one of the best.
You're forgetting about Pussy Galore, but all right.
I am.
I'm an idiot.
And whatever one Jane Seymour was.
Yep.
Solitaire.
And when she lost her virginity, she couldn't see the future.
Future anymore, yeah.
Some nonsense.
Yeah, save it for the Roger Moore episode. Future anymore, yeah. Some nonsense. Yeah.
Save it for the Roger Moore episode. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Yeah.
But yeah, I think she's amazing.
In all these Bond films, you always see interviews with the Bond women or the cast and crew and
the director, and they're always like, I think this is going to be something really different
for James Bond, and this is definitely his equivalent.
Right.
But she genuinely is.
Yes.
And all the other ones, I'm sure there are exceptions,
but mostly aren't.
Yeah, there is some genuine banter where she gets the upper hand.
When they meet on a train and he calls her out on like,
I'm a great reader of people, how about this?
And then she does the exact same thing.
She's like, how about that, you idiot?
Yeah, you stupid potato man
and like the way that they kind of get together kind of feels more natural than
him just walking into a room and she's like what are you doing and then he just grabs her yeah
and then she's like oh wait you're the most handsome and charming man i've ever seen
for no reason yeah so i like. The villain's pretty good.
Yes.
He has the requisite James Bond villain weird deformity.
Yes.
But it's not comical in this.
No. It's not a cartoon.
No.
It's not James Bond Jr.
No, it's not.
We should episode on that.
Okay.
Oh, then I have to watch it.
You have to watch all of them and play the video game,
which is hands down one of the worst video games ever. There go but um yeah le chef he's got his bleeding eye yeah which
how did he even get that i can't even remember it's just a deformity okay yeah it's just genetic
yeah good you've got it did you know do i yeah oh yeah it's both eyes though
they also reintroduce characters like fel Leiter. Yeah. He's great. And again, the theory that James Bond is the codename
also only works if the CIA have an additional,
like they also have that same program,
but their guy is Felix Leiter.
Absolutely.
And he's not a super powerful secret agent.
He's just some guy.
Yeah, exactly.
Just hanging about playing poker and drinking heavily.
This is your mission, Felix Leiter.
Do you accept it? Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I guess i guess sure give me millions of dollars and a tuxedo and an
unlimited drinks budget sure i'll do it fine yeah so a big part of this movie hangs on j uh bond
bankrupting um le chef yep and beating him in it's not poker is it no it is a poker it's texas
it was baccarat wasn't it in the original in the original novel yeah it's not poker, is it? No, it is. It's Texas Hold'em. It was Baccarat, wasn't it? In the original novel, it's Baccarat and there's a lot of diagrams
in the novel that explain what is the position of all the elements
and it's just not interesting.
Yeah, absolutely.
So they kind of, because people like poker.
Poker's a trend, which is like a...
How they do it, yeah.
Texas Hold'em was going gangbusters. Ben Affleck used to play it, probably. There you go, people like poker. Poker's a trend, which is like a Bond movie. How they do it, yeah. Texas Hold'em was going gangbusters.
Ben Affleck used to play it, probably.
There you go.
Rounders.
Rounders.
That was, what's his name?
Damon.
Damon.
Yeah, that's not a bad movie.
But there aren't a lot of movies where people are playing cards.
That's like maybe a 40-minute card play moment.
It's quite long.
They had to interrupt it with several scenes where Bond is nearly killed.
Yeah, but that's a really tense and enjoyable section of that movie. It's quite long. They had to interrupt it with several scenes where Bond is nearly killed. Yeah.
But that's a really tense and enjoyable section of that movie.
Yeah. But I also think that the worst part of this movie is the poker.
Okay, sure.
That's fair.
Because it's boring watching someone play cards.
It's boring watching somebody play cards.
But also, Bond is regarded as the best player in the Secret Service.
Yeah.
Because that's why they send him in.
They don't want him there because he's a lunatic and a psychopath.
But he's supposedly the best player.
But he doesn't win because he's the best player.
He wins because he has the best hand.
That's true.
And the remaining players all have the best hand.
But he has the best hand.
He's the very best hand.
Like, in any other game of poker, each one of those people would win that hand.
Yes.
Because they all have, and they all, the reveal, the dealer goes around the table.
Yeah.
And each player has a successively better hand.
It's insane.
And then Bond has literally the best hand.
The best hand.
Look, it's difficult.
It would be difficult to explain.
It would be difficult to have a poker reveal that isn't that.
Yeah, you're right.
Because they'd be like,
why is two tens better than a jack than a four?
Because, yeah, look, I...
Yeah, like the idea is that Bond figures out Le Chiffre's tell.
No, he gets told.
Then he gets told what it has been and then turnsre's tell. No, he gets told.
Then he gets told what it has been and then turns out it isn't.
Yeah.
And he gets tricked.
Yeah.
But we never figure out what Bond's tell is.
Like there's no back and forth.
And nobody else has a tell.
Nobody else has a tell.
And Le Chiffre's tell is like, I can't remember what it is,
but he like scratches his head or something.
It's not that. But it's something super obvious where you'd be like,
he's clearly just doing that. Like that's clearly not something that a very intelligent person would do yeah there's
also the great scene where his heart stops oh yeah sure and then he has to defrib himself in the car
whatever yeah which again he said he texts q and he's like no thanks to you asshole
so that's that's pretty good but it it turns out, obviously, that he gets double-crossed.
We kind of skipped a lot of this, haven't we?
Like at the start.
Oh, okay.
How about this?
Parkour fight.
Parkour fight.
Pretty good.
I like it.
There's a snake fighting a mongoose at the beginning.
There sure is.
There's that good bit where he's talking to the other agent
and the agent puts his finger to his ear and he's like,
get your hand away from your ear, you dumbass.
And he's like, what?
And he just pulls the whole communicator just up to his head,
the video screen.
And then it's on.
There's a parkour race.
But again, getting back to that parkour though,
it's good because when he doesn't have parkour,
he's just running through like-
He's a blunt instrument.
Through like plaster sheet and brick walls
and like running up a tractor and climbing a chain or whatever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's great.
Good thing the keys were in that tractor.
One point he crashes through a wall.
Oh, no, he leaps off something into like some gravel.
Yeah.
And he's a gorilla man.
He shakes it off.
Yeah, he's like.
One of my favorite bits is when they get to the top of the crane and the villain throws
the gun at him and he catches it.
Real casual life.
And then throws it back and hits him with it.
Yeah, that's great.
It's pretty great.
Yeah.
And that's also where he goes into the embassy and he like explodes the embassy or whatever.
That's right, yeah.
That's a really good scene.
Yeah, so good.
Man.
But also, you know the bit where he comes out of the water and he's all muscular and whatever?
Boy, do I.
Yeah.
That wasn't supposed to happen like that.
Apparently there was a sand bank.
That's the room.
But I think that's totally intentional. No, that's the supposed to happen like that. Apparently there was a sand bank. That's the room. But I think that's totally intentional.
No, that's the idea was...
It's the reverse of Ursula Andress in Doctor No, yeah.
That's the official story, though, that that wasn't supposed to happen.
What was supposed to happen?
That he was just going to be like neck deep.
It's me, James Bond.
I'm in the water.
He's wearing those tight...
Why is there a potato floating in the ocean?
And he's wearing those tight briefs.
Yes.
All these clothes.
You've got that complaint.
All these clothes are too tight.
Not in this one.
Oh, really?
They get tighter as the series progresses.
I think it gets bigger.
That's probably it, actually, yeah.
Yeah, but also he's the first Bond
who looks very dangerous.
Ah, let me think.
Like he looks physically fit.
What about Connery?
No.
Connery was Mr. Universe.
Yeah.
But he looks like...
The Mr. Universe that's let himself go.
Yeah, but even when he was...
I wouldn't want to meet young Sean Connery in a dark attic.
No, he'd kick the shit out of us.
That's what I'm saying.
But, Sean, I feel like Craig looks way more dangerous than Connery was.
Yeah.
We've talked about this.
Craig would break Connery in half.
Yeah, absolutely.
With one hand.
Like, he's crazy.
I don't know.
Connery is an angry Scottish man.
I'm talking the characters, though.
Oh, sure.
Yeah.
Craig's a coward we've
talked about that yeah and yeah connery moore just drinks until the problem solves itself
and then he shoots he uses a woman as a shield and then he shoots some people that's right then
he gets on his bloody jet pack and he's out of there yeah but he fangs out of there but i know
daniel craig said that a big part of him Bond, he wanted to look like he could do the things that he could do.
So if he like runs through a wall, I'm like, yeah, yeah,
he probably could.
Yes.
Could do that.
But yeah, that dude's crazy fit.
What else we got in here?
Getting back to the card game.
It's got that sweet car flip.
And then there's the torture scene.
Sure, yeah.
Which is very difficult to watch sure and again
that's a in any traditional james bond movies there's some sort of elaborate death trap yeah
it's you're tied to a he's tied to a like your legs blade like and there's a laser slowly
approaching but in this case what's slowly approaching is just a just a bag with a weight
in it i think it's a rope with a knot in the end. Yeah, yeah, okay.
So he cuts the bottom.
For those who haven't seen it, you should watch it.
It's great.
The villain, Le Chiffre, cuts the bottom out of a chair,
sits Bond in it naked, so all his parts are exposed,
and then whips up through the bottom of the chair
with a really heavy rope with a knot in it.
Yeah.
Presumably splitting his scrotum.
But we reveal later that he's totally recovered and fine.
Yeah, but that's...
Yeah.
You don't want to be looking at that, though.
No, God, no.
No.
I imagine the rest of his James Bond suave lovemaking career
is him just going,
yeah, but it still works, though.
Still definitely works.
Don't you worry about that.
It looks like a bag of dropped fruit.
But I look like a giant potato. And you're're on board why were you on board with vegetables and not
with fruit come on lady so that that part's pretty pretty intense but i guess my complaint of that is
the sheaf is taken out pretty quickly by somebody we don't see yes and then that answer to that in
the next movie is not really satisfying absolutely not so because the chief's working for somebody else yep and you kind of see him get shot off screen sort of oh yeah and then
vesper it turns out it was is what is it she her boyfriend was selling they she thought that they
had her boyfriend yes so she was selling them information correct and using bond for that
that's right at the end instead of like bond saving her, she breathes in water and she dies and
he's all devastated.
He's devour.
Causing him to go rogue.
Briefly.
Briefly.
No, he just retires.
He just, yeah.
He doesn't go rogue.
No.
He will go rogue.
Boy, will he.
Yeah.
He will go rogue because of the Mission Impossible movies.
That's right.
He will, won't he?
Yeah.
Well, he does go rogue in Quantum.
Yeah.
I think twice.
Yeah, at least.
So that's pretty good.
And it ends with-
Can we talk about shameless product placement as well?
The Omega?
Yes.
Yes, go on.
No, that's it.
Over the course of these, I want to talk about shameless product placement.
That one has probably the most blatant example or one of.
I would say, but that is, is i don't know because it's done
tongue-in-cheek but it is definitely and we don't see it oh he doesn't okay no because in the in
because traditionally bond in the original like prior to brosnan yeah bond would always wear a
rolex yeah a rolex submariner because he was in the navy sure and then i think brosnan switched
to the amiga okay and then there's a little When Vespa and Bond meet on the train,
she looks at his watch and she says,
oh, beautiful watch, Rolex.
Yeah.
And he's like, no, Amiga.
And she's like, oh, beautiful.
And so clear...
He's like, I'm like Brosnan, this isn't Amiga.
So clear product placement,
but it's kind of tongue in cheek
because Bond switched over his sponsor or whatever.
And doesn't his car change?
It was an Aston Martin.
And then what was it? And then it was an Aston Martin again. It's all Aston Martins. And doesn't his car change? It was an Aston Martin, and then what was it?
And then it was an Aston Martin again.
It's all Aston Martins.
I don't think so.
Do you mean over the course of...
Yeah.
In the Craig one, it's all Aston Martins.
Yeah.
But I'm fairly certain...
He's driven a BMW before.
Yeah, that's what I...
Yeah.
And he drove...
Yes, go ahead.
In the Brosnan era, he drives a few BMWs, doesn't he?
Yes, he does, yeah.
And maybe an Audi?
Probably.
And Roger Moore, at one point point drives the famous Lotus Esprit,
the white one that turns into a submarine.
Which is the car that he does the corkscrew with.
That is a...
It's probably a Lotus.
I think it's an American, no, it's an American car.
Great.
Yeah.
Anyway.
That's an amazing stunt, but it makes no sense.
Absolutely not.
It's an amazing stunt.
We'll get to it when we do the Roger Moores, but it's an amazing stunt. but it makes no sense. Absolutely not. It's an amazing stunt. We'll get to it when we do the Roger Moore's, but it's an amazing stunt.
With a terrible sound effect.
Yeah, for those who haven't seen it, it's the man with the golden gun.
Yeah.
And Bond drives off a broken bridge.
A perfectly broken bridge.
That has been sort of canted one side.
And so the car corkscrews through the air and lands on the other side perfectly.
Real stunt, real car. car amazing real driver amazing but as it happens they've added a slide whistle sound effect
awful ruining the ruining everything because that's all people take from that now yeah it's
like why did you put that it's like the pigeon double take yeah absolutely so anyway being
focused on the canoe that's's all, whatever it was.
So anyway, yeah, a little bit.
So I feel that's a bit tongue-in-cheek,
but I think they get much worse,
the next couple of bonds.
Okay.
What do you think about,
do they ever mention where he gets his clothes from?
No, in the Brosnan ones,
you see him opening,
you literally see him,
in Die Another Day, you see him literally in a hotel room
opening packets of shirts with the brand of the shirt
that he wears in it.
But not in this one, no.
Do you think people, though, look at the Daniel Craig one
and go, I want to get that Daniel Craig Bond suit?
Yes, absolutely.
And then they go and track that down.
There are endless Bonds.
I mean, I know people do.
Yeah.
But like, would you do that?
But you're aware. So if you see a suit you do you know who's made it by looking at it from time to time yes yeah yeah because you're good at that yeah yeah i'm onto you yeah that's
right but do you do you do you go and then find out what even if you don't want it are you interested
to know i would be interested to know yeah i would look that up yeah and again there are a lot of blogs about that sort of stuff absolutely jamesblog.com oh that also covers
james blunt news yes he's judging the x factor that's all i got that's all he's up to he was in
the he was in the army actually yeah he was a tank commander or some shit what yeah he was
if that's a thing in the army. What else about Casino Royale?
It ends where he says the classic Bond, James Bond,
and they finally have the Bond theme song in full
after he shoots a guy in the leg.
Yeah, Mr. White.
Who's coming back in...
Great.
He's been the best part of these movies.
He's not in Skyfall, but he's in all the other ones.
Yes.
Yeah.
And then you're kind of like oh now he's James Bond
because they played the theme song
yeah
and he said
how he was James Bond
and we think next one
is going to be a mission
yes
but it isn't
it isn't
should we just get straight into it
yeah it's going to
I love the theme song
of Cassandra Royale
I think it's amazing
what else do we have
anything else
what else happened in Cassandra Royale
I'm sure there's more to unpack
from that movie
nah we'll come back to it
we've got to do three don't we
when we do the Roger Moore's or the Sean Connery's inevitably we'll come back to it. We've got to do three, don't we? When we do the Roger Moores or the Sean Connerys,
inevitably we'll come back to Daniel Craig's
and we'll think of other things.
Exactly.
Let me think.
So you have a big problem with the way that Quantum of Solace opens,
don't you?
Do I?
It's a continuity error.
Okay, yeah.
If we're talking about the suits, yes.
Okay, so.
That was the first thing you said about that movie, I remember, when we talked about it.
Because Quantum of Solace is set immediately after.
Straight up?
Straight after.
He chucks Mr. White in his boot.
And then it's a car chase because the members of Quantum, or we learn later that they're
members of Quantum, want to get Mr. White back.
And so immediately they're chasing him down.
Yes.
Right.
But in between,
the maker of the suits changes from Brioni to Tom Ford.
And so the suit clearly changes.
He starts with a three-piece suit at the end of Casino Royale.
Then he goes down to a two-piece.
But it's not that he loses the jacket,
which would make sense if you get into a car.
He loses the vest.
Who has time?
Did he take the jacket off and then undo the vest
and then throw it away?
And then look,
okay.
You know what they should have done?
No,
I think they changed it.
Um,
what they,
if they're going to do that,
what they should have done is he should have bandaged Mr.
White's leg with his vest.
And then I would have been back on board.
They didn't.
Anyway,
the rest is fine.
Yeah.
The rest is fine.
But you know,
I watched this,
this one,
I rewatched this week because I've only seen it once.
Yep.
And I hated it.
You know what?
What's that?
It's not that bad.
Yeah, it's not that bad.
And you know, as a follow on, if you go in, because somebody said to me, you should, I
heard that you should look at it as a direct sequel to Casino Royale, which it is, and
you should watch them back to back.
So if you know Casino Royale and then you watch this, it's an okay conclusion to Casino Royale.
It just makes Casino Royale
like a four and a half hour movie.
Yeah.
Which seems too long as a movie,
but that's fine.
Certainly.
Oh, that's what I was going to say
about Casino Royale.
Yeah.
Just his general brutality.
I forgot about the scene
where he attaches the explosive device
to the bomber
and then he watches the bomber
be killed in the airport.
Remember?
I don't even remember that. He goes, goes there's a guy he chases the guy down at the visible human body exhibit oh because
apparently that was cool then and then he chases him to the airport yeah bomb is gonna blow up the
plane yeah but then he he attaches after a really long do you not remember this j sequence vaguely
it's quite long and then he attaches the bomb to the bomber's belt
and then he watches him
explode
and then he has
a little smile
because he's a lunatic
because he is a lunatic
this is the parkour guy
and also right
no
different guy
different guy
okay sorry
wow
and also the scene
at the start
where he drowns
the guy in the sink
yeah that's pretty good
anyway
and the guy he chokes
at the bottom
of the stairwell
yeah
anyway quantum of solace
it's
yeah it's okay look you know the issues with this film come from it was in the middle of the writerwell yeah anyway quantum of solace it's yeah it's okay look you know the
issues with this film come from it was in the middle of the writer's strike that's right so
they were literally making up it as they went and the guy directed directed world war z which also
had a lot of problems but i know daniel craig was saying at the time he's like yeah they were like
i was giving script input and he's like and i shouldn't be have to i shouldn't be doing that
he's like i'm not a writer i don't know i's like, I'm not a writer. I don't know. I'm barely Bond.
I'm a coward.
Yeah.
Remember that time I had to wear that vest?
I was so afraid of the water.
What if a fish attacked me?
I don't like fish.
I'm afraid of fish.
So I can understand.
If you look at it from that perspective as well, it works well. Because it's all very slick and it's well shot and everything.
The weakness is definitely elements of the story.
But all in all,'s it's it's
it's not bad hmm what do you think of it look i think the the main out because this this was
hydra before before the marvel movies yeah in that it's revealed that a huge number of mi6 agents
are actually members of quantum yes which is the Solace. Of Solace, exactly.
Great name also for a movie, for a Bond film.
Not a regular movie.
No.
Go on, sorry.
And of course, title taken from a weird James Bond short story that Bond isn't even really
in.
Sure.
It's got nothing to do with this.
They're running out of titles.
Anyway.
They are.
No, they've got James Bond goes to New York.
It's true.
They do.
Yeah.
Still coming.
Yeah.
But it is very odd that we have this super secret, super secret organization existing
already in a super secret organization.
Nobody's discovered them.
Nobody knows anything about them.
They cannot be stopped.
And who are they?
They're a bunch of rich old guys.
Yeah. Nobody knows anything about them. They cannot be stopped. And who are they? They're a bunch of rich old guys. It seems to consist entirely of these rich old guys
because Bond, in kind of an interesting plot device,
Bond goes to the opera where he knows the members of Quantum are meeting.
Yes.
And they meet and they communicate with each other silently
through little headsets. Yeah, headsets.
He interrupts their meeting and he says,
I can see all of you, what have you.
And then he waits to see who stands up. Yeah.
And then he uses his Sony Ericsson multi-megapixel mobile phone.
What a zoom on that phone.
What a zoom on that phone.
Amazing.
I would want to get one.
And then he takes photos of everybody who's leaving
and then he knows who Quantum is.
That's the last we see Mr. White because he doesn't stand up.
He's like this guy.
Maybe because his legs are broken.
He's shot a lot.
Yeah.
But then we discover that the heads of Quantum are just some old guys
and they're henchmen who are a bunch of dumb guys.
Who have bowl-cut wigs.
Bowl-cut wigs, exactly.
So we never see, like, where is the, like, it's not like they're all,
these rich old people are ex-members of the secret service or the CIA or whatever.
They're just rich old people.
How do they?
Oil barons.
Oil barons.
How have they learned this system?
That's a good question.
We never, why have they never been discovered before?
Well, I guess the point is Because they're a subsidiary
Of Spectre
Sure
Which is a secret
Secret secret
So secret
Secret to the max
You might say
You might say that
So you didn't like it
No I think that whole
That
I was very forgiving
Watching it again
Because I'm like
Yeah
I understand why this isn't
What it's supposed to be
And it's nowhere near
As good as Casino Royale Oh definitely not So I'm like It's understand why this isn't what it's supposed to be. And it's nowhere near as good as Xenia.
Oh, definitely not.
So I'm like, they did a pretty good job.
I think that element sort of ruined it for them.
I mean, in retrospect, if you go, okay, well, they're just a pawn of Spectre.
So perhaps they've been positioned in that way.
A bit of bloody sweet retcon, mate.
Yeah, exactly.
Obviously, they weren't planning to do that.
No, exactly.
Because at the time, they didn't own Spectre anymore. Otherwise, they would have ruined Spectre. Exactly, mate. Yeah, exactly. Obviously, they weren't planning to do that. No, exactly. Because at the time, they didn't own Spectre anymore.
Otherwise, they would have ruined Spectre.
Exactly, yeah.
They would have ruined Spectre in that way.
Now they have a chance to ruin it all over again.
But that didn't work.
And also, the main, the guy.
Yeah, the little frog man.
Dominic Green, I think is his name?
I think his name's Little Frog Man.
Little Frog Man is not, Because we need a villain.
Like, we've got Big Ball Cut Man, Big Ball Cut Wig Man,
not enough of a personality.
And so our main villain is just a guy,
just this weedy little guy who has to face the towering potato
that is Daniel Craig in an exploding hotel at the end.
Yeah.
That was this movie, right?
Yes.
Okay, great.
I'll stop you if it's not.
Fantastic.
But then they even have to give him a crowbar.
Yeah, and an axe.
And an axe.
And it's still not even a fair fight.
No, it's not.
James Bond just thumps him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then explodes a hotel around him.
You're absolutely right.
And, you know, this movie's only an hour 40 as well.
It's like one of the shortest, must be one of the shortest Bond films.
And it opens with like three different chases.
There's like a car chase and a foot chase and then maybe another car chase i don't hot air balloon
chase there's a bit where they go in a plane great and they and so it's actually got that
moment where you parachute and only one of them has a parachute and they're falling and then they
latch onto each other and they pull it at the last second but you're like four feet from the ground
they just like smack and they should both be dead.
But no.
No.
Yeah.
Bond.
Bond.
They also pay homage.
Oh, yes.
They hearken back if you will.
Oh, yes.
You're practicing all kinds of words in this episode.
To Goldfinger.
Oh, that's right.
They cover the Bond girl in oil.
In oil.
Sorry, not tar.
It's a rare rabbit.
And they leave her.
They throw her in a briar patch.
And they leave her in whatever.
Yeah.
And that's another bit where Em's like, Bond, you're a dickhead.
Look, stop being a dickhead.
You're getting people killed again, you dickhead.
You dickhead.
Yeah.
And then he goes rogue twice.
He goes so rogue, doesn't he?
Yeah, it's pretty good.
Judy Dench is really good, right?
Yeah, she's great.
She's amazing in these movies.
And spoiler alert, it's a shame that she's dead.
But hopefully Ralph Fiennes will do whatever he does.
Ralph about.
Ralph about, mate.
Ralph all over the screen.
The action's pretty good in that one as well.
Look, the exploding hotel is dumb.
Sure, yeah.
Because there's actually a light in it.
I think I actually wrote it down.
Did I? My hotel is exploding. Sure, yeah. Because there's actually a light in it. I think I actually wrote it down. Did I?
My hotel is exploding.
Why did I make it explosive?
Somebody says, because they're like, yeah, the hotel, which is in the desert,
so it could have been solar powered.
Yeah.
They're like, yeah, we fuel it because we've got a very flammable fuel
canister in every room.
Right.
And one guy goes like, isn't that dangerous?
Another guy's like, eh.
Yeah.
And that's like-
Only if it gets really hot in the desert.
So-
Yeah.
Oh, also, here's the thing.
Yeah.
The plan in Quantum of Solace, the way that they're going to get everybody,
is their plan is to double the water prices.
Yes.
Of the water.
In this region.
Yeah.
And kind of like, you know-
Because you think
they're buying up land for oil yeah but they're buying it for water for water but of solace prior
to that in real life a regime did attempt to do that but they tripled the price of water oh so
so the worst thing happened the worst thing happened in real life before this movie came out
so it's not really very superillainy, is it?
No, it's not.
It's just regular villainy.
It feels like the villains of this movie heard about that and went,
you know what, let's do that, but let's not be mean about it.
Three times is a bit too mean.
Yeah, let's not give anyone a bad name.
And there's a bit where, actually there's a good bit where there's
a Jason Bourne-style apartment fight.
That's right, yeah.
Which is really good.
And he like casually dispatches a guy which is which is pretty sweet yeah look i as i said as a kind of as a kind of little wrap-up to casino royale it's not bad and at the end there's no
because he meets vespa's boyfriend at the end and it turns out that he does that to a whole
lot of secret agents he pretends to get kidnapped so they sell information and he gets something out of that, I assume.
And Bond finds him and doesn't kill him and he's like,
and it's not really satisfying.
He just gives him a talking to.
And then at the end he's like, right, I'm off to be Bond.
For real this time.
Let's do a mission.
Let's do a straight up plain old mission.
Which I guess he does in Skyfall.
Because it opens with a knock list.
Oh, sure.
Yeah, that's right.
So we see some fragments of a Mission.
Yeah.
Because I love, and I know you love it as well,
in spy movies where they have a cold opening
that has nothing to do with the rest of the movie.
But the knock list one, I guess,
does have a lot to do with the rest of the movie.
Yeah, it does, absolutely.
It's directly to do with everything else.
Are we done with Quantum?
Yes.
I should also point out that in Casino Royale, we have the delightful Rene Mathis, who is
his, you know, informant slash charming, confident kind of character.
And in Quantum Solace, he's killed and James Bond throws him in like a dumpster.
I believe he pulls him out of the boot and he's still alive
and then he uses him as a human shield.
Great. In James Bond tradition.
Classic James Bond tradition. Very good.
He's pretty good like that, isn't he? Yeah.
I'm going to do a James Bond kill count video.
I'm going to have to break it into eras.
Because otherwise it's going to be like a 40 minute
long video. Yeah, absolutely.
God, Connery kills so many people.
Yeah. They all do. Yeah, Quantum, Connery kills so many people. Yeah.
They all do.
Yeah.
Quantum, what about the theme song?
It's the worst one.
It's one of the worst.
Jack White and... Jack White and Alicia Keys.
Yeah.
You'd think that'd be a good combo.
No, it's not good.
It's a Brosnan theme.
It's a Brosnan theme. It's a Brosnan theme.
I think they just attempted to recreate the Casino Royale theme.
Yeah, don't do that.
Don't do that.
Go in a different direction.
Go in a different direction.
That's why I like the Skyfall theme.
It's a complete departure from...
It's just like, we're doing a Adele song.
That's pretty good.
Sure, yeah.
Adele, what have you got?
Can you put Skyfall in it?
Can you put the word Skyfall?
Have you got any songs that have a two-syllable line in the chorus?
Can you just put that in there?
Just plug it in.
Great, great.
Absolutely.
And the new one Sam Smith's doing, which I think also-
Who's that again?
He's a British pop star kind of guy.
A crooner.
Fantastic.
But I feel like that's kind of another Adele attempt.
Yes.
Because they've got similar kind of markets.
I might be wrong.
I haven't heard it yet.
But somebody wrote in and said, what do you think of him doing it?
I don't know.
I haven't heard the song.
Right.
I'll tell you when I hear it.
Yeah.
Enough of Quantum of Solace?
That'll do it.
Let's talk about Skyfall, your favorite Dark Knight spinoff.
Absolutely, yeah.
There we go.
Now, Skyfall came out in?
2012.
And the Dark Knight was 2008?
Yes.
Right.
You'd think there would have been more movies they could have ripped off in between.
But everybody liked The Dark Knight.
Everybody liked The Dark Knight.
It was kind of a cornerstone movie for this kind of your dark action movie,
which covers a lot of themes and it's suspenseful and there's action and blah, blah, blah.
But what did they take from it instead of all the themes?
They took away a weirdly cartoonish villain.
Yes.
And they took away a really elaborate villain scheme
where it turned out that the villain gets captured,
but then it turned out it was his plan to get captured all along.
Correct.
Yeah.
He did it.
Yeah.
What a bloody legend.
Yeah, it's, you know what?
I recently rewatched it.
I think I mentioned this on the show.
I watched it a couple of months ago.'s beautifully shot it's it looks amazing it's
very slick yeah and it's easy to like quantum's kind of difficult to watch because it's kind of
like who's dealing with what oh yeah but it's very slick and you know it moves along and it's
brisk and there's good action and whatever and everybody's good in it and yeah and and whatever
it's got some classic james bond moments you've got a villain who is horribly cartoonishly scarred.
You've got an actual, yeah, like we said, Le Chiffre was like a,
but he's a real classic James Bond villain.
Yeah.
This frog man.
No, he's not.
He's a fish man.
Yeah, he's kind of a fish man, isn't he?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Monsieur Tadpole.
It's Raoul Silva is the character's name.
It is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's good though right
isn't he
yes
look he's
we've gone far enough
in this version
of James Bond
that we can have a character
who has a little bit more
yeah
who's a little bit more
of a caricature
I think
yeah
a little bit unhinged
yeah
like the Joker
which is exactly like
someone said he should
play the Joker
if they did a Dark Knight
adaptation
Dark Knight adaptation.
Dark Knight Returns.
Like that older version.
That would work, yeah. I totally think that would work.
But we've got Jared Leto, so.
All right, uh-huh.
Let's do that.
Because we've got, look, they've gone,
okay, well, we need a guy who's scarred in the mouth region.
Correct.
We need him to have a weird outfit.
Yes.
With a weird shirt, et cetera.
We need to be, yeah, he needs to be weirdly imposing.
Possibly homoerotic. A little bit. There's that implication. People got really mad at that. Yeah, to be, yeah, he needs to be weirdly imposing. Possibly homoerotic?
A little bit.
There's that implication.
People got really mad at that.
Yeah, they did.
Because there's the scene where he kind of fuels up James Bond.
And then he's like, you're not used to this or whatever.
James Bond's like, who says this is my first time?
Implying that he's possibly, you know, had some.
But I think the implication there is it's not his first time being tortured.
Oh, okay. in his areas.
Well, that's certainly true. Casino Royale, that's definitely true.
I think that was the implication.
I think a lot of people have read into it.
Okay, fair enough.
Do you like it more than Quantum though?
Yes.
Okay.
Currently, right now I do.
This second?
This second I do.
Sure.
When was the last time you saw Quantum of Solace?
Home video release at that point, yeah. Okay. When was the last time you saw Quantum of Solace? Home video release.
VHS. At that point, yeah.
Okay.
On VHS, yes.
Yeah.
I think it might be,
I'd be interested to see what you think
if you could be bothered.
Okay, I'll try it again.
But don't, I don't care.
Okay, great.
It's fine.
It's whatever you want.
But it also brings back like classic,
it brings back classic.
We've got Q.
Q comes back.
I was going to say classic M
because he's a man now.
Yeah.
Finally.
Q. What do you think of Q?
He's dumb because he puts that virus into the main frame.
We'll get to that.
Look, I'll tell you what I'll do.
I've done it before, but I'm going to attempt to break down
Raoul Silva's plan.
I'll do it later.
I enjoy this.
Okay, right.
Not now?
I'm just going to read the plot, the plot summary.
You keep talking.
Sure.
Well, I also think that there's a money penny in it. I it i think that's that is certainly a thought you've had and you are
correct i think she's really good yeah and uh what is it he fights a kimono dragon yep komodo dragon
a kimono dragon and that's pretty good are they that aggressive maybe they are never has been up
close to one. Right.
Yeah.
He forces himself on a woman who was formerly a child prostitute.
Oh, yeah, that happens.
Yeah.
He goes rogue at the start.
Yeah.
But not to do missions.
Just to hang out by a fishing village. To grow some stubble and play a scorpion drinking game.
Yeah, just to hang out in Margaritaville.
Yeah.
And then he doesn't shave.
And then he comes back and they're like you're unfit bond and he's all like
that should have been after we're in a tracksuit that should have been after quantum right yeah
he's all like he's got ptsd right yeah because why is he all shaky after this one he got shot
and fell off a train yeah but, but come on. Good point.
Like that's nothing for him, right?
That's nothing for a potato.
That's true.
Potatoes are very resilient.
That's what I'm saying.
I've seen tons of potatoes fall off trains.
It's my major source of carbs.
I stand by a turn in the track and I wait for a crate of potatoes to fall off.
With a big bucket.
Yes, with a big bucket.
Yeah, I don't know.
Do we got the plot there?
No, look.
Okay, here's Raoul Silver's plot.
He wants to get Judy Dench.
He wants to get Em because he was a former MI6 agent.
Yep.
He got captured.
And they were like, you should kill yourself.
And he bit down on his poison capsule.
And it didn't kill him, but it melted his face off.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So his plan is he wants to get Judi Dench.
Yes.
So what he does...
Hang on.
Right.
So basically the first thing he does is he steals the list of agents.
Yes.
He gets an assassin.
Yes.
Not a professional thief, but an assassin.
Correct.
To steal...
A hard drive steal a hard drive
containing the agent identities, right?
And then, I guess he wants the assassin to not be elusive enough
so that Bond can track him down.
And then the assassin shoots Bond.
He has to know that the assassin's going to shoot Bond,
but it won't kill
him but the bullet will remain in his body yes so even like the dark night even when he falls
off a train into the ocean or money penny shoots him yeah well that but he gets shot twice but then
so he he then has no that bond will want to come back yeah service. Yep. Because they're the same.
Because they're the same.
But then Bond will have kept the fragments of bullet in him
and will have pulled the bullet and had the fragments analysed.
Dark Knight style.
Dark Knight style and realised that the only assassin
that uses that kind of bullet is this particular person.
Is some idiot.
Because apparently as a hired assassin you want your work to be easily traceable.
So then they figure out where the,
he wants Bond to figure out where the assassin was going to be next
and then track down that assassin and then kill him
and then get, the assassin would have to have on him
the payment chip for his current job,
which is at a casino.
Yeah, he did. He has to know that Bond's going to go to a casino,
and he sends two men to rough him up,
but know that Bond, despite having been shot and being massively off his game,
is still good enough that he can kill those two guys.
And then he has to know that his, the bad guy has to,
Rouse has to know that his girlfriend is going to betray him and tell him to get on a boat that will that stow away
and then get him onto an island yes and then he has to know that james bond is going to have a
tracking device on him that will enable mi6 to show up and capture him. And then he has to know that they're going to put him,
because he's blown up MI6 headquarters.
He has.
He has to know that they have the special underground facility
and they're going to take him there as opposed to just like a dungeon
with a regular door.
He knows they're going to put him in a glass case.
In a glass case that's computer controlled by the mainframe.
And he has to know that Q is going to plug the disk that he has,
Ralph Silver's disk, directly into the mainframe,
which is connected to all the computers.
You wouldn't plug it into just a laptop that wasn't connected to it.
No, but not figure out there's some sort of control system virus on there.
Yes.
But that also has to contain the information
about what he's going to do in the train system.
Like it contains his plan.
The London Underground.
The London Underground.
But then it also, then it unlocks the jail system,
enabling him to escape.
But then Bond has the information to track him down.
He has to know he's going to steal a police uniform.
Well, he's already got the uniforms.
Oh, he does.
He already has the, and then he has to know.
But then he has to.
There's a lot of things he has to know.
Yeah, but then he goes and he just puts the uniforms on.
Yep.
Then he has to know that Judi Dench is.
Answering for her crimes.
Answering for her crimes in parliament.
Yeah.
And then he and a couple of his henchmen just walk into the room
wearing police uniforms and guns and just start shooting indiscriminately.
He's had 15 years to come with this plan,
and that's the final bit is to shoot indiscriminately.
That's the plan.
He could have really – well, he obviously knew she was going to be there.
He could have not been captured and just walked in with a police uniform.
There's a scene at the start of this movie. There yeah and then another scene another scene and that's what makes up a
movie ultimately that's what makes up life but at the start of the movie mi6 is blown up yes and
judy dench's car is stopped by the police yes and she gets out and she's like i'm the head of mic i'm
m how dare you but you're
police what are you doing and they're like get back in your car she's like all right old woman
surely if you've got police uniforms you just dress as those guys and then when she you stop
the car when she gets out and says i'm m get out of my way you kill her yeah movie over correct
yeah but then you can't have a home alone style
ending oh yeah good point because that's what this is building to isn't it yeah it is destiny
yeah it is building it i forgot about the destiny yeah yeah and again that that ruins the eye the
fan theory that james bond is a code name because you go back to skyfall manor which is where he
grew up and you see a james bond family, meaning that... And the gravestones?
Yeah, sure, why not?
Unless they just pile the dead parents
of all the existing James Bonds in the same graves.
Absolutely.
So he lives in the house from The Happening.
Yep.
Yeah.
You know, they're going to get...
They wanted to get Connery for King Kane.
You know what I hate, Skyfall, now that I've thought about it?
We're going to talk about the Aston Martin as well.
Let's talk about it.
Okay.
So in Casino Royale, he wins the Aston.
James Bond in the classic James Bond films in the Connery Bonds,
he's got an Aston Martin DB5.
It's like a silver car.
Yeah.
It's super cool.
It's in Goldeneye.
Yeah.
The Q is outfitted with heaps of cool gadgets.
It's got machine guns in it.
It's got oil slicks.
It's got an ejector seat. It's got oil slicks. It's got an ejector seat.
It's got cool stuff, right?
Boy, does it.
And then throughout all the movies up to the Brosnan Bond,
he gets a different car for the action sequences,
but his regular drive is this Aston Martin DB5.
He loves it.
He loves it.
So in Casino Royale, because it's sort of a soft reboot,
you want to know how he's going to get the DB5,
because he doesn't seem like a car guy or really an anything kind of guy.
He seems more like a potato.
Yeah, he's a potato and potatoes don't drive.
And if they do drive, they don't drive very far.
They catch trains.
They catch trains.
Thank you.
So you'd have to be like, well, how does he get this?
Because at this point, a 1960s Aston Martin DB5 is probably like a million bucks.
So how does he get one?
So in Casino Royale, he wins it in a poker game.
And then he just drives it around the island where he's staying for a bit.
Being pretty proud of himself.
And then he flies off to go to an airport or whatever.
Yeah.
But then in Skyfall, he's on the run.
So he goes to a garage and he comes out with a silver Aston Martin DB5.
Yep.
And he has to fight the bad guy.
So he flicks some switches and he's got machine guns in it.
He's got all the gadgets.
He's got an ejector seat.
But earlier in the film, he's talking to Q and he says,
how about give me some gadgets, Q?
And Q's like, we don't do that anymore.
So the question is, where do you get, what happened?
How many Aston Martin DB5s are there?
That's great.
Well, the question is, is it the same car?
Exactly. Is it a different car? If it the question is, is it the same car? Exactly.
Is it a different car?
If it's a different car, did he buy it?
Yeah.
Or was he given it?
Or was he allowed to bring back that Kai's car he killed?
Yeah.
I think we've talked about this in the show before.
We have, haven't we?
But I love talking about it.
Sure.
Here's my theory.
There's two theories.
Hang on.
What are my thoughts?
Gathering my thoughts.
Gather them.
Okay, here's two theories.
Yep.
Number one is because he won the card game from a guy who's clearly involved in organized crime.
Yeah.
Theory number one is that back in the 60s, MI6 sends a secret agent to stop some crime on that island.
They give him an Aston Martin DB5 with the gadgets in it.
Because they are old gadgets, aren't they? They are old gadgets. db5 with the gadgets in it because they are old
gadgets aren't they they are all gadgets exactly yeah exactly it's got old style switches and it's
got all that sort of stuff right so that agent is killed yep maybe it's sean connery bond hopefully
yeah absolutely and then over the over the years that car has been passed down to various criminal
elements and this guy gets it and then bond wins it off him. And then when he gets it, he's like,
oh, it's got sweet machine guns in it.
What are the odds?
Yeah, exactly.
So that's theory number one.
Doesn't stack up.
Doesn't stack up at all, does it?
But I think, you know, you see where I'm going.
It's possible.
Theory number two is that James Bond wins
just a regular Aston Martin DB5 from this guy.
Yep.
And then after the events of, say, Quantum of Solace,
when he's had a chance to take a breath, he calls up his lawyer.
Yeah.
And his lawyer's like, hey, with regards importing a really expensive
vintage car from an island from a known criminal with no, like,
bill of sale or anything
that you won in an illegal game of poker from a guy you murdered,
we probably can't do that.
Like, legally, that's a bit tricky.
Sure.
So what he's got, he's gone, just forget about it.
Yeah.
But then he's just at MI6.
He's just at his workstation.
He's clicking away.
Sure.
And he's, like, clicking away like clicking away at the inventory or whatever.
And he sees that in storage there's an Aston Martin Degu 5.
And he's like, I'm going to find a way to steal this car.
And then when Skyfall comes up, he's like, I need a getaway car.
I may as well steal this one.
Perfect opportunity.
There you go.
And it's an old one.
I mean, that doesn't...
Explain anything?
I mean, it does explain, but that's really complicated.
Yes, it is.
But this movie is very complicated.
Yes.
So it fits perfectly.
Do you want to see where he explains that?
It's a series of flashbacks of him making phone calls.
Yes.
Paperwork of him trying to work out how to get over his car over.
So you don't think there's any chance that that's the same car?
No.
Isn't one left-hand drive and one right-hand drive?
Probably.
I might be wrong. That might not actually be true. Didn't think it through. No. Isn't one left-hand drive and one right-hand drive? Probably. I might be wrong.
That might not be true.
Didn't think it through.
Yeah.
Look, no.
They just wanted that car.
How would he get the machine guns put in?
Did he just ask some guy in London?
I guess so.
You're right,
because he'd never met Q, has he?
No.
Like at that point.
He needs more gadgets though.
Yeah, he needs some more gadgets.
They got the gun that only he can fire.
That's pretty good, I guess.
No.
And they give him a radio.
I didn't like the idea that they kept trying to bring everything back to the status quo.
Yeah, yeah.
Because in Quantum of Solace and in Casino Royale, you know what gun he uses?
Whatever gun he has.
Yes.
It's fine.
Whatever.
Steal a gun from that guy.
Whatever.
But in this, they're like, well uses the walther ppk so he's got to have with all the agents have to carry this
weedy little wolf like they're surely that even if you are a secret agent you need a weedy little
gun that you can hide in your garter belt or whatever there's better guns now definitely yeah
or lasers lasers laser guns do you think we're ever going to get back to the crazy like moon
raker style james bond movies do you think it's ever going to get back to the crazy, like, Moonraker-style James Bond movies?
Do you think it's going to come around?
No.
Not with Daniel Craig, but maybe.
No, certainly not.
Yeah.
Man.
I hope so.
Look, we've had Guardians of the Galaxy.
We've had...
We're going to have Avengers Infinity War.
We are.
They're all set in space.
Yes.
What are the James Bond films good at?
Stealing ideas.
That's very true.
Maybe there will be some sort of space battle.
I mean, they have original ideas, don't they?
Parkour?
Oh, yeah.
They invented that.
Yeah, they did that.
Or was that Johnny Parkour?
Pierre Parkour.
Whatever you say.
Francois Parkour.
Thank you.
So at the end-
Monsieur Francois Parkour.
Do you like the end how they have a shootout in a house
and then he falls through ice?
And then the frog-
Oh, I'm sorry,
Señor Tadpole,
wants to shoot himself through the head at M.
Yeah.
No.
He wins as well.
Because he kills M.
He kills M.
Yeah.
That's his ultimate goal and he did it.
Yeah.
But then there's just another M,
so I guess it doesn't matter.
Yeah.
Everybody's fairly expendable.
Thumbs down.
I've thought about it again.
I prefer Quantum Solace more. In your face, Skyfall. Yeah. See, that's my concern about Spectre. matter yeah everybody's fairly expendable thumbs down i've thought about it again i prefer quantum
solace more in your face skyfall yeah see that's my concern about specter i feel like it's just
it's just going to be skyfall again because people love skyfall skyfall did really well
and oberhausen's like ties back to his destiny and he was there all along but you didn't know
he was there and oh jane like why can't he just like we've said why can't he do a mission and he
doesn't know the guy?
Or he's like, I've heard of this guy.
He's a dick.
I'll kill him.
Yeah, absolutely.
He's got some sexy ladies around him, so have a chance to hang out with them.
Show them my sensitive side.
Exactly.
And my ruined balls.
Okay.
That'll do it. Any hopes for spectre yeah oh yeah what else we got in this world except hope you know what i mean you're correct yeah but again if it's bad there'll be another one won't there
yeah good point no i think it'll be i definitely think it'll be more Skyfall with more Bond things, classic Bond things.
I hope so.
That's what I think it'll be.
God, I hope so.
So more Skyfall with more classic Bond stuff.
I just want, I just want classic, I just want a mission.
I just want that.
Please let the next one just be a mission.
But it can't because you can't go, okay, it's just a mission.
Yeah.
And now Craig is done.
Yeah.
That's not how this kind of thing works.
They'd want it to have a big finale.
Yeah.
So it's going to have to be more destiny.
And I don't like that.
I like it how occasionally the Bond films tie together
or very loosely and that's it.
Yeah.
Like Casino Royale and Quantum tie together.
Great.
Whatever.
There's like, you know,
all the Dr. No and Up to You See,
Blofeld and whatever. Like they all, you know, all the Dr. No and Up To You See, Blofeld and whatever.
Like they all loosely tie together.
Fine, great.
But they don't all need to tie together all the time
and follow him directly.
And it's his destiny.
And it was right in front of him the whole time.
Thank you.
He's just a secret agent.
Yeah, he is.
And sometimes he's okay at it.
Mostly he just wings it.
Yeah.
All right.
You know what it's time for?
What's it time for?
What we reading?
What we gonna read?
I'm doing the thing.
What are we reading today?
What are you reading?
I'm going to read.
And by read, I mean watch Quantum Assault.
Good, you should.
Well, if we're recommending Bond things,
I've recommended it before, but I'll say it again.
Man, I love being a turtle.
But also, Everything or Nothing,
which is also a Bond video game.
It's the last appearance of Pierce Brosnan.
It's actually pretty good, or it was, who cares.
But their documentary, Everything or Nothing,
which charts the rise of Bond from the early days of
Ian Fleming and how he
came up with the idea and how it
became a terrible tally movie and then it became this
worldwide phenomenon and
how they underpaid Sean Connery and he wasn't
happy because it ruined his private life and then
they swapped him out and that didn't work and they
brought him back and then they swapped him out again
and how it survived through the eras and how
Brosnan doesn't like any of his movies except GoldenEye and then how Craig's in now and
interview all the Bonds.
I've been watching some Brosnan stuff recently.
Yeah.
He's pretty good at things.
He is good.
Yeah.
I agree.
I like him a lot, but his Bond films are shit.
I saw a movie where he was a spy.
It was on Netflix.
I can't remember what it was called.
Yeah.
But he's a-
November Man?
Yes.
I quite liked it. Yeah, there you go. Have we recommended that before? I don't know. I've recommended remember what it was called. Yeah. November Man? Yes. I quite liked it.
Yeah, there you go.
Have we recommended that before?
I don't know.
I've recommended this before.
Yeah, great.
Yeah, he's a great actor and he's – his hair's kind of dumb, isn't it,
in the Bond films?
It's a big buffon.
It is a big buffon, yeah.
Do you think he's –
He works much better, I think, as just kind of an old –
he works as this old ex-Secret Agent.
I think that's fine.
Yeah.
Because he sort of brings a certain amount of resentment.
Yes.
Like the characters he plays now when he's a Secret Agent is sort of a resentment of being thrown out in the cold
as this Secret Agent.
Yes.
And that's what's happened to him.
He was in movies that weren't very good.
He wanted one more shot at doing, like, he's like, I want to do it properly.
I want to do, just let me do one more.
And they were like, you're out the door, mate.
Yeah.
But again, it's not his fault.
Also, I think he's just doing Roger Moore for most of it.
But I don't really think he really made it his own.
He's just like a quipping idiot.
That's absolutely true.
But again, that's not
his fault.
Yeah, he wouldn't have
said, hey, I want more
quips.
Yeah.
Please have more quips.
Yeah.
You know, at the start
of Die Another Day is
good where he gets
captured.
Oh yeah, it's finally
a cold open where he
doesn't get the girl
and be super smooth
the whole time.
And Goldeneye's pretty
good.
And at the point where
the theme song starts,
that's where it all
falls into the toilet.
Yeah.
As a franchise.
Yeah.
I mean, again. Yeah. Great. I've also recommended the two podcasts you're song starts that's where it all falls into the toilet yeah as a franchise yeah i mean again yeah
great so i've also recommended the two podcasts you're on but we talked about those oh yeah that's
right um and but i will yeah um and i'll probably go listen to the latest episode of james bonding
i'm behind on that that's really good great show yeah all right do you want to do our letters oh
absolutely now as we've mentioned before correct you will edit in all kinds of wacky stuff at your
whim but you will refuse to edit in a letters theme.
I refuse!
I ask the listeners to record their own letters theme
and a theme of my choosing or their choosing.
What did we say earlier?
Freestyle.
No, we didn't.
What do you mean?
We said something earlier.
What do you mean?
A theme that people could send it in.
No, we said freestyle last week because we didn't know.
No, I mean earlier in the episode.
But this time we said freestyle.
Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. What did we say? I can't remember. i mean earlier in the episode but this time we said freestyle okay yeah yeah yeah i don't know what did we say i can't remember
you'll remember in the edit just put it in just have words saying what what it was i refuse great
okay anyway what you want to do record a theme uh put it on youtube tweet me the link so i know
where it is and i'll play it through my phone and maybe just maybe because we get a few you
whatever the last one was whatever the last one is that I saw.
Sometimes I listen in advance, sometimes I don't.
Anyway, this one's from JD.
It says, put it in your bloody pipe, I said, mate.
I don't know what that means.
We said freestyle.
Let's see what happens here.
Here we go.
Time for letters.
Letters.
Letters.
I thought you'd sell letters.
But you caught me on the counter.
Wasn't me. That we know about But she caught me on the counter. Wasn't me.
That we know about.
Saw me sleeping on the sofa.
Wasn't me.
That we know about.
I even had her in the shower.
Wasn't me.
That we know about.
She even caught me on camera.
Wasn't me.
That he knows about.
Inside jokes.
I bloody love them.
Love it.
Thank you, JD.
JD, if that is even your real name.
Surely it is.
I mean, there's a photo of your birth certificate that says that,
but I don't believe it.
Great.
Photoshopped.
Let's get into it.
Afternoon, Nick and James.
How does he know it's the afternoon?
Maybe he's like Q.
He can see everything that's going to happen.
Afternoon, Nick and James.
I got the Age of Ultra on Blu-ray today,
and I've had a look through the features.
I enjoy the usual stuff like the gag reel.
What do you think about DVD slash Blu-ray features in general?
Are there any that you particularly enjoy,
apart from the Terminator 3 Arnie commentary, of course?
Anyway, keep up the good work.
Love the show.
From the official Velociraptor wrangler of the podcast,
James Illies, Newbury, England.
Oh, Newbury.
What do you think of special features?
I really like, if we're talking about Age of Ultron,
I really like, and they don't do them anymore,
and it makes me sad, the Marvel one-shots.
Yes.
I think they're great.
Yeah.
Gives you a chance to flesh out a minor character maybe
or correct a terrible mistake.
Gives you one shot to do that.
Gives you one shot.
Like if they want to correct the terrible mistake
that was the Mandarin in Iron Man 3.
Kicked off Agent Carter.
Yeah, kicked off Agent Carter, exactly.
That's what got people excited for that show.
Got Agent Coulson doing a flying kick in a supermarket or whatever it was.
Throwing a bag of flour.
Throwing a bag of flour.
So good.
Yeah, got Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. off the ground as well, I guess.
Yeah.
You take the good with the bad.
There's that boring one with Sitwell.
Yeah.
It's not a very good one.
At no point do they reveal he's a bad guy.
No.
Yeah, but I agree.
I like them a lot.
I think they're cool. Yeah. I used to No. Yeah, but I agree. I like them a lot. I think they're cool.
Yeah.
I used to like DVD stuff, but I feel like there's been, well, I don't buy DVDs anymore,
but I feel like there's also less emphasis on them.
And because DVDs don't sell as much, they don't bother making them as much.
Like, they might be like, here's three deleted scenes that we didn't obviously need in the
movie and commentary, I guess.
The Mad Max DVD Blu-ray, deleted scenes, that's it. The Mad Max packs. The Madvd blu-ray deleted scenes that's it the mad
max packs the mad max packs yeah just deleted scenes there's no there's no bonuses yeah i like
i would love to know about the making of that i like a gag reel yep especially if you can tell
like i i like a gag reel if you can tell they're all having fun on set yes you ever watch a gag
reel where they're clearly just going through the motion? I've watched the gag reel for old dogs, yes.
Oh, sure.
And they're not, no one's having a good time.
Nope.
And I also like, I like a, I do like a cast commentary, the more people, the better.
Definitely. If you've listened to like.
Lord of the Rings.
Lord of the Rings.
They're amazing.
The Firefly box set.
Okay.
It's not the whole cast, but like it's all, like it might be Whedon and a cast member or two cast members or what have you. And they all seem to be having a real good set. Okay. It's not the whole cast, but it might be Whedon and a cast member
or two cast members or what have you,
and they all seem to be having a real good time.
Great.
Yeah.
Anything that gives me kind of a little insight
and it seems like they were enjoying what they did.
Absolutely.
You know what I mean?
Or anything that Arnold does.
Anything, literally anything that Arnold does.
He just explains things as they happen.
As they're happening, yeah.
Amazing.
I saw a photo a couple of days ago,
and it's on the set of Conan the Destroyer,
and it's a photo of Arnold Schwarzenegger
with Wilt Chamberlain and Andre the Giant,
and he looks like a small child.
I'll see if I can find the photo.
But apparently the story goes that on the set of Conan the Destroyer,
he's like, you guys are like you guys.
I'm going to take you out to dinner.
And hang on, where is it?
Oh, here it is.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Tiny little man, right?
Holy crap.
Yeah.
It's Will Chamberlain.
He's a giant.
But anyway, so he's like, all right, I'm taking you out to dinner.
And it came to the end of the night.
He's like, all right, I'm settling this up.
I'm Arnold Schwarzenegger.
I got the bucks, whatever.
And they're like, look, we're proud.
You know, we're proud men from proud cultures. We're taking care bucks, whatever. And they're like, look, we're proud. You know, we're proud men from proud cultures.
We're taking care of this bill.
And he's like, no, you're not.
I'm Arnold Schwarzenegger.
I'm rich.
I'm taking it.
And they're like, no, you're not.
And they just picked him up and they walked him out.
Like they held him and Will Chamberlain paid
and they just picked him up by the elbows
and they walked him out of the restaurant.
And he's like, that's never happened again or since.
Like since I was a child, nobody's picked me up.
That's great.
Yeah.
That's amazing.
He looks tiny.
Yeah.
I think he's only like six foot, which isn't short by any stretch.
Right.
But he's obviously made to look Daniel Craig size.
Absolutely.
There you go.
I like the Hobbit, not the Hobbit.
I don't like any of that.
Sure.
I want to make that clear.
All the Lord of the Rings
behind the scenes stuff
is the best example of...
It's like each of those
extended DVDs packs.
Yeah.
It's just got hours and hours
of behind the scenes stuff
and it's all super interesting.
Yeah.
And I think if you're
an aspiring filmmaker
or something like that,
that's definitely something
you should check out.
It's the whole process
and nightmare that it is
making a film.
But you can also see the love
in those movies like by
they're well worth watching totally definitely but now though because i'll just be like if i
want to see behind the scenes on ultron or whatever i'll just watch it on youtube yeah
exactly yeah and a lot of the times as well they'll release a featurette before the movie
comes out on youtube sure yeah so i think And they're not as good also, I think. No, they're not. Because they're more promotional tools.
Exactly.
Like they don't...
It's not the nitty gritty.
It's just clips from the film that you saw in the trailer.
Yes.
And then it's just a couple of shots of people going,
having a great time.
We love this.
We love it.
We love whatever movie this is.
But I want to see a lot of B-roll and maybe some interviews from months later or what have you.
Sure, yeah.
Where people have time to settle in and think about it and whatever.
Yeah, where they don't really have to do it if they don't want to.
Exactly, yeah.
I hate B-roll.
It's boring.
Fine.
What if it's somebody's birthday on set and they bring in a cake?
What kind of cake?
Carrot cake.
Chocolate cake? I like carrot cake. Yeah, it's good. What kind of icing? Carrot cake. Chocolate cake?
I like carrot cake.
Yeah, it's good.
What kind of icing?
Cream cheese.
Okay, good.
Yeah, that's fine.
They should do it more, but I can understand why they don't.
Yeah.
I have a question for you both.
Since you both like comics, nerds, what comic character would you pick as a roommate?
Someone who's clean, a party animal, or just someone loyal?
Personally, I'd pick Splinter just for the fact that I can tell people
that I live with a giant rat and he would keep other rats away from our house.
P.S. Can I be the official drunken Irishman of the podcast?
Best of luck.
Amen.
Yes.
Give me an example.
Would Splinter keep rats away?
I don't think he would.
I think he'd have weird rat parties.
My initial thought was Captain America because he'd keep a real clean shop.
He'd go away for lengths of time.
Oh, that's so true, yeah.
He'd never skimp on the rent.
That's true.
You know what?
He's probably paid cash like six months in advance.
Exactly.
Yeah.
He'd probably be a great wingman.
That's more Woody though?
Yeah.
No, but I mean because he's super handsome.
Yeah, but he wouldn't steal a girl from you yeah that's true like tony stark would yeah absolutely
yeah i'll see that's the there's an option as well yeah but i think yeah tony stark would be
fun because tony tony stark would be fun and he'd bring some high tech yeah to the house
like he'd bring heaps of tech i'm assuming he's moved in with me for some reason but I think also he would have weekend long parties
and he'd just want to sleep and he'd be like
I'm definitely not an alcoholic
You're right
Also he'd probably get you killed accidentally
Yeah, because he'd threaten a supervillain
and say come and get me, here's where I live
Yeah, and you'd be like man
Come on What are you doing? I've got to clean the bathroom Or is it your turn? a super villain yeah and say come and get me here's where I live yeah and you'd be like man come on
what are you doing
I've got to clean the bathroom
yeah
or is it your turn
yeah sure
Captain America
you
or Superman
just someone nice
yeah
like I don't want
someone fun at this point
who's like
let's get out there
I'd be like
no
no
no
I'd be like
Captain America
have you seen
Casino Royale and he's like no and I'd be like you should watch this it's great I'm gonna watch it it'd be like Captain America have you seen Casino Royale
and he's like
no
and I'd be like
you should watch this
it's great
I'm gonna watch it
it'd be cool
but he'd probably be like
who's that guy
and I'd be like
okay we're going back
to the first Bond movie
we'll marathon them
yeah okay good
whatever
good question though
yeah
I don't think Splinter
would be a good housemate
no
none of those
none of those turtle types.
Filthy rat.
Yeah, ooh.
I'd rather have Shredder.
Yeah.
Would he kill...
If he didn't want to kill you.
Yeah.
I would assume he wouldn't because I'm not a turtle.
That's a good point.
What's he going to make human soup out of me?
It doesn't work.
It's not crazy.
My answer is Shredder.
James Mason and Nick Sunday.
Or Roku Saki.
Oh.
Yeah.
Not Krang?
He'd be like,
he'd always be on his comm.
Yeah, and he'd be sliming all over stuff.
Yeah.
Like, you'd go,
you'd come in the house
and you'd be like,
oh, there he is sitting on the couch
like the big robot shell.
And then you see,
like, the robot's there
and he's next to the robot
because it's more comfortable to stretch out and he's next to the robot because it's
more comfortable to stretch out and he's just sliming all over the couch dude yeah that's my
mom's couch that's right yeah yeah nah and he's he's a dick yeah it's a total dick he's always
trying to bring someone from dimension x he's like this is my buddy general thrag from dimension x
yeah like i don't want your rock friends in here. Yeah. God.
Anyway, I love your show and listen every week.
I had a question.
James, with all the DC movies on the slate,
I was wondering if you guys think we will ever see
a Martian Manhunter movie on the big screen
and which of his powers would they need,
would they maybe need to leave out
considering he has so frigging many.
Keep up the good work.
Adam from Minnesotan.
Hmm.
I reckon we'll definitely see an animated Martian Manhunter. Yes. But I don't think we'll seean. I reckon we'll definitely see
an animated Martian Manhunter. Yes.
But I don't think we'll see a... I think we will.
Solo Martian Manhunter film.
Eventually. I think we
can see him on the big screen, but not
solo film. I think it depends
how this DC Universe goes. Because I think
they're going to, within the next 10 years
they're going to have to reboot again. Sure.
And then they're going to have to do Batman, Supermanman flash green light and wonder woman again and then when it's
gonna be a constant cycle of reboots we'll never get to you know what i mean never get back to
because his origin story is not necessarily that although like i guess because we're now sending
probe like we're getting probes into mars yeah maybe they could tie that in but that's not really
uh yeah people aren't thrilled by that anymore.
You know what I mean?
People aren't thrilled.
They saw Mission to Mars.
If we see...
If we find some evidence of alien life on Mars, there will be a Martian man under film.
They'll fast track it.
But if there isn't, we won't.
All right.
That's fair.
No, I think we'll see it.
I think especially if, like, say, your Booster Gold movie goes well, then they'll be more
entitled to...
Yeah.
More inclined, sorry, to make those kind of chances, take those kind of movies. Who would you cast? your Booster Gold movie goes well then they'll be more entitled to more inclined sorry to
to make those kind of
chances
take those kind of movies
who would you cast?
I don't know
my answer is
I don't know
what's your answer?
well I guess they could
kind of cast
literally anyone
because he can shape change
yeah
and again
I think they will go
with the black guy
because he's the default
black guy
in the Justice League
it's a weird thing they do
that's true.
Now, if you don't count Cyborg.
Yes.
Maybe they'll get back
David Ogden Steers
to do it again.
They'll get Andy Serkis
to put David Ogden Steers
over the top.
Great.
But what powers
would they have to leave out?
All of his powers.
That would upset me.
They'd make him Green Superman.
Yeah, because he needs to have all his powers,
otherwise he is just Green Superman.
I agree.
They need to give him telepathy and intangibility
and invisibility and shape-changing.
Otherwise, he's got nothing.
But then how do you make that interesting?
Well, see, that's the thing.
For a movie.
I like him.
I think he is interesting.
You need more interesting.
You need a much more powerful villain, I think.
Like a mind villain?
He has a lot of mind villains that get in his mind.
Just a white Martian.
Just a white Martian invasion.
Yeah.
That'll do it.
Yeah, true.
And again, I think you really have to push.
Or a guy with a box of matches.
Yeah.
That would work as well.
Yeah.
You need to really show the full extent of his powers because it's a it's
a it's a being who's had the powers since forever yes and he can you know he's had this you know
again when we talk about what the white martians or whatever they've all got these battle forms
and all that sort of stuff you need to show all that sort of stuff yeah you don't you don't you
want to somebody who's in total control of those powers and knows exactly what they're doing cool well we're not going to get that no it's going to be
dumb great he's going to forget he can walk through walls and he'll be locked in a thing
correct yeah all right so i showed you this letter before the podcast what if we do so how about a
scene though like the scene in man of steel where he's in the police or he's in the military base
or whatever and he's just being interrogated.
That'd be great.
And he just turns invisible and walks through the walls.
Or what if he is a cop already?
He's already here.
Yeah, that'd be good.
That'd be cool.
Yeah.
Now, I showed you this letter before the podcast and you insisted I read it.
Yep.
You insisted.
Bonus letter.
Bonus letter.
Hey, James, just wanted to say, sorry, hey, James and Mason.
Thank you.
That's me.
I just want to say I love the podcast. Mason. Thank you, that's me. I just
wanted to say I love the podcast. I've listened to every episode
at least four times and I can't get enough. It's clear
that you guys put a lot of work into it as well as
your YouTube channel, which I also love.
You also seem to genuinely care about the fans and
when you don't have enough time to give everyone a shout out, you seem
like you really feel gutted about
it. That quality is pretty rare on the internet. It's nice to see
someone who gives a shit. Why don't you kill yourself?
Hugs and kisses from the inflatable butt.
Thanks, IB.
It's great to hear from you, mate.
That is a good letter.
Looking forward to more.
Yeah.
I like how it's very complimentary.
And then it suggests we kill ourselves.
Well, we're not going to.
Because we've got James Bond movies to see
and potential Martian Manhunter films to see.
Correct.
Both of those things.
Yeah.
That's the show for this week.
We did it again.
What are we doing next week?
Is it Martian out?
I don't think it is.
Nah, do something.
What are we going to do for the latest theme?
Do you remember?
No, but we mentioned it earlier.
So everybody wind back.
Wind back.
Defenders of the Earth style.
There we go.
Defenders of the Earth style.
Thank you.
There we go.
Letters theme.
The best possible theme of all time according to you. Excellent we go. Defenders of the Earth style. Thank you. There we go. Letters theme. The best possible theme
of all time
according to you.
Excellent.
Great.
Thank you to the Bruce
and the Basilisk
for the theme songs.
I was going to say,
nice guys.
And where can people find us?
They can find us
on Weekly Planet Pod
at Gmail
and Facebook
and Twitter
or they can find us
at The Weekly Planet.
Yep.
That's the best place
to follow us,
I think, on Twitter.
On Twitter, definitely.
I'm at Wikipedia Brown
on Twitter.
I'm at MrSundayMovies.
Bandcamp,
weeklyplanetpod.bandcamp.com
Correct.
Patreon.com
slash MrSundayMovies.
Got a Redbubble
by T-shirt.
Golden Legend
has produced
a Shrinkyland T-shirt
in commemoration
of episode 101.
There's also one
on Teespring, I think.
Okay.
Which is a super sweet design.
It says,
I went to Shrinkyland
and all I got
was this lousy T-shirt. I think they have to, if sweet design. It says, I went to Shrinky Land and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.
I think they have to,
if you might,
if people buy 10 of them,
they can make the design.
So I'm going to get one.
All right, cool.
I'll get one.
All sorts.
Yeah, man.
Awesome.
Is that everything?
That's everything.
That's all we have to plug.
That's it.
That'll do it.
That's the show for this week, isn't it?
Yeah, that is the show for this week.
Next week, something else.
Yeah.
All right.
Grabbed our gem, everybody.
Grabbed our gem. What's your catchphrase this week? week something else yeah all right grab that gem everybody what's your
what's your catchphrase this week uh something about a chair that's just nonsense no that's
just nonsense syllables fine i don't have one i don't want one can i just say grab that gem
okay bye everyone
fx is the veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship
between two women who play a deadly game of truth and lies
on the road from Istanbul to Paris and London.
One woman has a secret.
The other, a mission to reveal it before thousands of lives are lost.
FX's The Veil, starring Elizabeth Moss, is now streaming on Disney+.