The Weekly Planet - 183 Superhero Showdown & Indy 5!
Episode Date: May 1, 2017What a week. WHAT A WEEK. Superhero showdown returns but with a bit of a twist!Plus we get stuck into World War Z 2, Kingsman The Golden Circle trailer, Masters Of The Universe, Alien Covenant, Glass,... more Goldblum in Jurassic World 2, Indy 5 and Star Wars release dates and two ads!Guardians Of The Galaxy Commentary: https://www.patreon.com/MrSundayMovies1:26 World War Z 2 Director4:20 Kingsman The Golden Circle9:41 Masters Of The Universe release date12:51 Alien Covenant prologue whatever17:44 Glass the movie20:26 Jeff Goldblum back for Jurassic World 222:20 Indy 5 news28:33 Star Wars 9 release date33:34 Superhero Showdown1:31:10 What We Reading/What We Gonna Read1:35:41 Letters It’s Time For LettersAmazon affiliate link: https://amzn.to/35fPtYlPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesMr Sunday Movies YouTube Channel: https://goo.gl/lB90W2The Weekly Planet YouTube Channel: https://goo.gl/1ZQFGHFind our T-Shirts here: https://goo.gl/q6gE9C Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network.
Visit planetbcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates.
This episode of the show is brought to you by two things,
Mack Weldon and Casper, both of which booked mid-roll spots,
which means you mention them up top and then we'll have to do two at once later.
You okay with that, Mason?
Sounds good to me!
Alright, on with the show!
Red hot comic book movie news
Shootin' up your butthole
The Weekly Planet, The Weekly Planet
Welcome back everybody to another episode of The Weekly Planet
Official podcast of comicbookmovie.com
Where we talk movies, comics, TV shows
My name is James, also known as Mr. Sunday
With me, Zoey, this is my co-host Nick Mason
It's me, and I'm in a flurry
A McFlurry, because you, before the show
You said some crazy things.
I did not.
I said very reasonable things about breakfast menus.
At every cafe, it's all the same.
A big breakfast, a vegetarian breakfast, eggs on toast,
a corn frittata, avocado smash.
It's the same, like, five fucking things.
Yeah, but what I'm saying is that the quality levels differ,
and I said...
No, but it's all pretty good in Melbourne. it's either really bad or it's fine yeah no i think i think there's
some great places and then i said what about a waffle how good's a waffle and then you said
now you can get frozen waffles at the supermarket no because you said i want waffles now where can
i get them and i said you could go and get them from the supermarket if you really want them yes
that's not how i would eat them but i'm saying if you really want them you can't i'm i'm but anyway in in any case i've found them on uber eats and i'm gonna get
them delivered during the podcast i do not endorse this it's happening it's too late you know what i
do endorse though what's that uh david fincher it looks like it's pretty much personally endorsed
david fincher i do good director uh he's looks like it's imminent that he's going to be directing World War Z 2 with Brad Pitt.
Ooh.
I mean, one was fine.
Yeah, it sure was fine.
It was fine and totally unmemorable.
I remember somebody got their hand chopped off
in a completely bloodless way.
There was a tornado of CGI zombies.
Mm-hmm, yep.
It was a metaphor for something probably,
probably for immigration.
Play immigration, yep, yep.
It's not really like the book.
No.
He has a delicious Pepsi.
Do you remember?
No, I don't remember that at all.
Remember at the end how he kicks the soda machine?
Like, he stops to have a Pepsi.
Oh, I do remember that.
Yeah, okay, yeah, because he was cool, calm and collected.
I remember that now.
Yeah, because he gave himself AIDS to walk past the zombies or whatever.
Do you remember?
I mean, not strictly speaking AIDS.
He just injected a whole bunch of stuff into it.
Yeah, that's true.
He did.
You're right.
Yeah.
So the next one is just going to be Philadelphia, but with zombies.
Wow.
So you got your waffles?
I've ordered them.
It's now a race to the finish.
How long until there's waffles?
Three o'clock.
What time is it now?
2.30. All right. Can we finish the's waffles? Three o'clock. What time is it now? Two thirty.
All right.
Can we finish the podcast in 30 minutes?
Almost certainly not.
Absolutely not.
No eating on the podcast.
All right, fine.
God.
Can I have some waffles?
No.
Because you publicly dissed waffles earlier.
Oh, you could just get them at the supermarket.
It was a suggestion.
It's like saying you like frozen peas for some reason or peas.
I love peas.
Like you can get them from Red Rooster or you get them from the supermarket.
Yep.
But why is that any different?
It's waffles, man.
I mean, obviously it's a different food.
I understand.
It doesn't matter.
Okay, cool.
Continue.
I'm going to throw your waffles in.
I'm going to answer the door and I'm just going to flick them out of his hand.
Okay, good.
Into the bushes.
It'll make for great content.
Certainly.
What do we got here? So yeah, World War Z 2. Great, right? That's a good. Into the bushes. It'll make for great content. Certainly. What do we got here?
So yeah, World War Z 2.
Great, right?
That's a good choice.
I guess.
No, it's David Fincher though.
I guess.
He'll do a good one.
He'll make a good one, won't he?
I guess.
Yeah, absolutely he will.
He did Fight Club probably.
Okay, how about this?
Here's the question.
Are you willing to devote an entire episode of this podcast to World War Z 2?
Yes.
Really?
Yeah, absolutely.
Okay, you've got some faith in this. 100 yeah okay yeah did we do the last one maybe see who knows
i think that's the thing i think that might have been just before i definitely reviewed it
i remember because we were in the cinema and the people came out and they're like oh sorry the
movie's gonna be delayed for five minutes and we can't show it in 3d anymore and a guy's just like
like god behind me like like, get fucked.
Like,
this is good news,
if anything.
Yeah,
right.
You can watch it as a regular movie.
Where have you got to be?
You got five minutes.
Some guys come out and they're like,
sorry,
just to let you know,
by the end of this,
you won't have a pounding migraine.
One of your eyes won't hurt a lot.
Oh,
what?
That's not what I paid for.
And I think we all got a free ticket as well
it was a good day
yeah
anyway
did you watch the trailer
for Kingsman the Golden Circle
yes I did
are you excited
yes
are you jacked
for it
I guess
yep
sure
if that's the right expression
well we're going to America
so yeah we're jacked
we're going to be jacked in this
are they going to America
or is America
or is America coming to them
I think they're going to America
it looks like that
because they go to some distillery, which is also where they're...
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
So in this one, they are...
It seems like they're coming up against and then teaming up with Statesman, who is the
American version of Kingsman.
They're cowboys.
Channing Tatum.
Channing Tatum.
Who else is a Statesman in this?
I can't remember.
Probably Woody Harrelson.
Probably Woody Harrelson.
Yeah.
No, it looks great.
I've got an email about Woody Harrelson for later in the show.
I hope so.
One of our famous letters.
I was going to say,
one of our famous Woody Harrelson letters that we get.
That's right.
But no, so it's frenetic like the last one,
but the thing that's got people talking, Mason,
is it's the return of Harry, but he's got an eye patch.
Well, see, what's going on there?
Because that's a weird, if that's all there is to it, that's a weird reveal to put at the end of essentially the first trailer right
it's weird because it implies that he did get shot but i remember i distinctly remember his
brains getting like exploding at the back of his head yeah maybe he had like bulletproof glasses
and a blood pack i don't. This universe is just weird enough
that we can't entirely rule that out.
Yeah.
You had an idea that it was like a VR kind of thing,
or he recorded a video.
Did I?
Exi, maybe.
Maybe it's me, I don't know.
Exi, it's me from beyond the grave.
This is how you be even better at being a gentleman.
Yeah, okay, you're right.
And that could involve...
But why the eyepatch, though?
Yeah, right?
If it wasn't an eyepatch, I'd be like,
that's a recorded video. But with the eyepatch, I'm like, that? If it wasn't an eyepatch, I'd be like, that's a recorded video.
But with the eyepatch, I'm like, that changes everything.
You can't even rule out in this universe that he knew he was going to get shot in the head.
No, yeah.
And they've built a hollow channel through his head.
And the bullet was magnetically driven through that hole in his head already.
Yeah, absolutely.
And it was a very elaborate ruse, I guess.
But we get some stunts.
We get a minicab.
Yep.
But a minicab combat.
Who do you think would win between a Kingsman and a Statesman?
Are you referring to actual Channing Tatum versus actual Eggsy?
Maybe that's a bit of a bloody preface.
Channing Tatum.
He's got the moves.
He's got the fancy footwork.
Yeah.
So does Eggsy, though. And Eggsy can parkour. No, I meant the actors. Oh's got the moves. He's got the fancy footwork. Yeah. So does Eggsy though?
And Eggsy can parkour. No, I meant the actors.
Oh, okay. Yeah. No, Channing Tatum would kill him.
Yeah, yeah. But I'm talking in this
universe. Oh, yeah. Eggsy.
Yeah. Because he's got an umbrella.
Is that right? Precisely, yeah. You could hook it under an ankle
and trip him up. That's true. Yeah, yeah.
We've got a bionic armor man. Yeah, I like that.
With a grappling hook. It's got a bloody grappling hook in it.
So is that the rule for every movie? There has to be a henchman missing a limb? I hope so. Yeah, I like that. With a grappling hook in it. It's got a bloody grappling hook in it. So is that the rule for every movie?
There has to be a henchman missing a limb?
I hope so.
Oh, yeah, I guess so, yeah.
Next movie, hook for a head.
Man with a hook for a head.
You know what, though?
I'd say his brain still has to be in it.
So it's his regular head.
Because otherwise it's not a trick, is it?
So his regular head, and then there's a hook on his regular head.
He wears it as a hat, and then his whole head comes off
in a very thin, very precarious cable.
How good's that?
It's very good.
Mark Strong's back.
That's nice.
Is he going to ultimately betray them?
I don't think so.
Okay, cool.
Because he's like the only Kingsman left.
Yeah, he's the rock in this.
Yeah.
Not the rock.
No, there's only one the rock.
Halle Berry's in it. Jeff Bridges is in this. Oh, he's the other Statesman. Yeah. Not the rock. No, of course, there's only one the rock. Halle Berry's in it.
Jeff Bridges is in this.
Oh, he's the other statesman then.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay, that makes sense.
Uh-huh.
I think that they're going to statesman and-
Being like, you've got to help us because our Kingsman, because it looks like their
headquarters have been destroyed.
Yeah, exactly.
In a tailor shop.
Yeah, so I'm thinking Colin Firth has been holed up in America for some reason.
Do you think he's got amnesia or something?
Oh, maybe.
See, that's the thing.
Think of a classic spy trope.
Maybe he's got a twin.
Maybe he's got a twin.
I don't know.
See, maybe he's got a twin who lost an eye many years ago.
Yeah.
And now he lives in America and he doesn't know Exit.
It's City Slickers 2.
There's another Curly.
The Golden Circle.
There's always another Curly.
Golden Circle, Curly's gold.
That's right, yeah. I couldn't remember the title
but that's right.
That's a real twist there. Man, I'm
bang up for this though. Me too.
Nice little outfits.
You do love a nice little outfit. I wouldn't mind if
all these Mark Millar Millerverse
comics lived in the same cinematic
universe. Really? Well, it looks like this
could be also kick-ass probably. Could it? Well, it looks like this could be also kick-ass, probably.
Could it?
Yeah, it's like hyper-violent kind of kicking about.
Yeah, I guess that's true.
Jetpacks and whatever.
I think it absolutely could.
I guess you couldn't rule it out.
What else has he got going on?
Wanted, sort of.
I don't think they'd put that in there because that movie doesn't.
That's one we didn't talk about last week.
That's true, yeah.
Spoiler alert, it's not that great. No. The comic is much't. That's one we didn't talk about last week. That's true, yeah. The comic. Spoiler alert.
It's not that great.
No.
The comic is much better.
Yeah, agreed.
It's exponentially better.
Yeah.
Not even that, but it's also more interesting.
Yeah, totally.
It's got more interesting ideas.
It's just kind of like there's a loom and we're all killers.
Yeah.
I reckon they might even remake that.
Not call it Wanted, but call it something else
and be like, here's the actual version I wanted to make.
Yeah.
Well, that was also, I think now, yeah,
now with what they've done with Mark Miller stuff,
they would do it and they'd make it pretty much like the comics.
But then it's kind of like, well, people aren't really going to buy this
because, you know, the people don't know what this is.
But now they bloody go.
Now people won't shut up about it.
They will not shut up about it.
Try and get them to shut up about it.
You couldn't.
You couldn't even.
Hey, James, shut up about it. I wish I could, Mason. I've got so them to shut up about it. You couldn't. You couldn't even... Hey, James, shut up about it.
I wish I could, Mason. I've got so much to say.
Yep. But we have to move on. Okay.
Did you know that Masters of the Universe
is finally getting a release date of 2019?
I did not, but now I do know that.
McG...
McG! There he is. He's back.
He's not directing.
McG!
That's a McG fist pump that is not directing.
Yeah.
So I think that's good or whatever
because I don't...
Yeah.
Just set it all in Eternia, cast Chris Hemsworth.
Yeah, right.
Then it's fine.
Yep.
Just use some Thor B-roll.
Yep.
Just use some Thor Ragnarok B-roll, whatever's left.
Just cast Dave Bautista as Man-at-Arms.
Yep.
That's fine.
Oh, yeah.
Give him a big old toothbrush mustache.
That's right, yeah.
Yeah, nice.
That's all you really need.
Bob haircut, Dave Bautista.
CGI a big old green tiger, and then you're off, aren't you?
Who could be Skeletor?
Frank Ligalia, get him back.
Let me say it.
Frank Langella, yes.
Langella, that's it, yeah.
You could.
Who's the most skeletal actor these days?
Willem Dafoe.
Yeah, that would work.
Ed Harris would work, I think.
Ed Harris, yeah.
Mads Mikkelsen would be great.
Is he buff enough, though?
Well, he's a skeleton.
He doesn't have to be.
No, but he's got a big buff blue body and a skeleton's head.
In some versions, he got his face melted off and he's just a skull,
but he's still got the muscular man's body.
Uh-huh.
But, like, I don't know what, in the original version, what is he?
Yeah.
It's just a skull on flesh.
On a big buff man, yes.
I don't know what it is.
Yeah.
Because in the, remember they did a reboot in, like, the early 2000s?
Yes, I do remember that, yeah.
And Skeletor was, like, a man who, like, got his head dipped in acid or something.
Okay, right. I can't remember. Somebody remember that, yeah. And Skeletor was like a man who got his head dipped in acid or something. Okay, right.
I can't remember.
Somebody like that, yeah.
Well, you wouldn't want, if you're going to cast a Mads Mikkelsen
or somebody like that, you're going to want him to be regular human face
for some of it, right?
Okay, so you need someone who can work with no face.
Like Hugo Weaving, V for Vendetta.
Yep.
Like Carl Urban from Dread.
That woman from the Mully Grubs.
Australian children's TV show, the Mully Grubs.
The blue face, the big blue face, yeah.
That's a deep cut.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah.
But I think you need him to be human for most of the first film,
and then he loses his face in the second one.
And then if he doesn't want to do the second one.
So they don't call him Skeletor, his name's just like,
I was going to say Fred Bassett.
Let's say his name's Fred Bassett.
His name's Fred Bassett.
Famously bad newspaper comicster Fred Bassett.
The friendly dog.
Yeah.
I think they should just call him Skeletor.
Even though he's not a skeleton.
Yes.
I'm sure he has a name.
Like he's Prince or Lord or something like that.
I can't remember.
Maybe. Yeah. Anyway, we'll know in 2019 when he's Prince or Lord or something like that. I can't remember. Maybe.
Yeah.
Anyway, we'll know in 2019 when Brett Ratner or McG doesn't direct it.
Yeah, good.
Whoever I said wasn't doing it.
No, that's cool.
I mean, if they make it full, like, wacky Eternia universe, don't bring it to Earth.
Just make it like a weird Star Wars Dune Flash Gordon kind of thing.
Yeah, again, we don't need a wanted style movie
to not have superheroes anymore because we're used to it now.
We can have a wacky...
We don't have to tie it to Earth anymore.
No.
We get it.
We get it.
We get it, all right?
We get it.
We get it, McG.
McG.
McG.
You just watched the Alien Covenant prologue prequel.
Yes, I did.
In between call.
Yep.
I kind of like the viral marketing that they're doing,
but also I'm like,
that's kind of a reveal I would have liked to have seen
in the actual movie.
Now, prior to this, there's been another one,
a longer prologue thing where we meet-
The crew.
The crew who are all going to die.
James Franco's sick.
They're all drinking.
Yeah, and that's not that's not gonna
be in the movie no i think they're just gonna wake up on is this also not gonna be in the movie this
i don't think it is i don't like any of this i don't like this concept well i'm hoping that it's
i'm hope i don't know whether this will be the case i'm hoping you don't need to know it going
in but it's also touched upon in the actual movie and like fleshed out look i think and so should we
say what it is like yeah that's fine so so in this it's uh it's michael f aspender from the previous film who
again in the in in prometheus was reduced to a severed head yes it's still somewhat functional
yep and the lady from that movie whose name i cannot recall naomi rapuse there we go yep yep
numi rapace numi rapace yep no franklin didler yep franklin jimler franklin jim so yeah There we go. Yep. Yep. Numerapice. Numerapice. Yep. Franklin Jim La.
Yep.
Franklin Jim La.
Franklin Jim So.
Yep.
Anyway, they're back.
She was our leader for some.
She has repaired him.
Yes.
She's put him back in his android body.
Yep.
And they have made the alien ship functional again.
Yep.
And they have set off on a journey to the original planet of the Engineers, the alien
race.
And at the end of this, they have arrived on that planet, which appears to still be...
We don't see any aliens, but it appears to be a functional planet.
And then David might do something terrible to them.
Really?
Isn't that what it implied in the trailer?
Yeah.
Doesn't he look down and then he's like...
Well, he does say the famous quote...
Shut up!
Shut up, everybody!
Everybody shut up, I've got something to say.
Well, he says...
He uses the poem, the Ozymandias poem.
Can you turn your microphone slightly this way?
I can.
I'm just doing a bit of a pop.
Yeah, so he says the poem from...
The Ozymandias poem, which we know from Watchmen.
Yeah.
Look upon my works ye mighty and despair.
Yep.
What does that mean in this case?
I don't know.
Yeah.
But I mean, in that case, it meant...
Probably nothing.
Yeah, because in that case, it meant a civilization that was ruined.
So maybe in this case, there's nobody still alive there.
Okay, right.
There doesn't seem to be anybody alive by the time the next crew gets there.
Right.
Of whatever happens.
David's a bad bloke.
Maybe he's angry because he got his
head torn off potentially i'd be angry he doesn't even have a grappling hook head so are you saying
that he's do you think what he might be doing is setting up the new crew to he's setting up the
crew to kill them is that what's happening so they arrive and he destroys them i or something along
the lines of he's killed he kills them all and he makes it like a weird alien world so when they
turn up they're like oh no this is bad news for everybody because you know he makes it like a weird alien world. So when they turn up, they're like, oh no, this is bad news for everybody.
Because he's all like, let's see what this does.
I'm going to put goo in a man's eye and see what happens.
That's true.
So I think he's just trying shit out.
Because in Prometheus, he was doing that as part of a company.
Yeah, just to be like, what's this?
What'll this do?
And in this prologue, he does say something like,
this woman is kind to me in a way no one ever was.
Even Mr. Wayland, who was the head of the Wayland Utopia.
Even that horrible old man who I'm a slave to.
But I think that's a curveball.
I think he's going to betray them anyway.
He's like, this woman's been kind to me,
but I'm a robot, so I'm going to kill everyone anyway.
And there's another David.
Do you reckon there's going to be a David off?
A David off, I think so.
Even though the other one's not called David.
His name's like Steve.
Like the cologne, a David off.
Yes.
A David off cool water, which is when two Davids fight.
Yes.
So I don't know.
I feel like if there is a David off, the newer David is a newer model.
Yep.
And also he hasn't had his, his head isn't loose at the neck.
That's very true.
So I think that's how that's going to go.
Yeah.
If they ever,
but then again,
I'd say the original David's probably more cunning.
Yeah.
And he's more unhinged.
Yeah.
Certainly at the neck.
Yeah.
It's very unhinged.
Yeah.
But no,
cool,
man.
I mean,
we're seeing in two weeks,
three weeks.
I think it's 19th of May here or something,
something like that.
So maybe it'll be fine.
Yeah.
And then we get five more.
I found out Ridley Scott's 79, by the way.
Are we getting five more then?
He wants to do...
If he does one a year, maybe.
You can't do these one a year.
It's not...
Unless you film him like back to back,
but that's not what he's doing.
Yeah.
Maybe if you get someone to co-direct with him.
Yeah, but he's very busy.
Yeah, McG.
No, but he's very busy. He's got to get fitted for his coffin. There's a whole lot of work he has to get done. Yeah. Maybe if he gets someone to co-direct with him. Yeah, but he's very busy. Yeah, McG. No. But he's very busy.
He's got to get fitted for his coffin.
There's a whole lot of work he has to get done.
Yeah.
I don't want him to die, Mason, but...
He has to arrange his will for his son slash brother.
What's the other one?
Tony Scott died.
Oh, did he?
All right, then.
Bloody hell.
I don't know if he is back.
Anyway, good on you, Alien Covenant.
Maybe we'll get a good Alien film.
I hope so.
It's been...
When's the last good one?
I'm not counting the Alien.
1986?
Yeah, something like that.
Yeah.
Great.
Glass.
The movie Glass.
You familiar with this?
Wait, is this...
This is going to be the sequel to Unbreakable?
Correct.
Spoiler alert.
Yeah.
Split.
Split.
Breakable.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which is set for a 2019 release. James McAvoy's back as Captain Split. James McAvoy's Mc. Yes. Yeah. Which is set for a 2019 release.
James McAvoy's back as Captain Split.
James McAvoy's back-a-boy.
Yeah.
Samuel L. Jackson's-
James McAvoy's back.
Oh, boy.
Samuel L. Jackson's-
I'm going to use that forever now.
Yeah, good.
Samuel L. Jackson's-
Can't wait for the next X-Men film.
I know.
It'll be good, no, but I get to say James McAvoy's back.
Oh, boy.
Samuel L. Jackson's back as Mr. Glass.
Yep.
Bruce Willis is back as Bruce Willis.
And Ardenia Taylor-Joy is back as the character she played.
In which one?
Split.
Okay.
What was she, a psychiatrist?
No, she was trapped by Captain Split.
Oh.
Split Home.
You should watch that movie.
I don't want to now.
Because you know the twist.
Well, there's literally
one twist in it
and I know what it is
but it's an okay movie
like other than the twist
there's some interesting stuff in it
okay alright
maybe I will
maybe you will
maybe I will
yeah no you can
it's cool
yeah
do you want to see this
yes
bearing in mind
you don't want to watch Split
and I don't want to watch
Unbreakable again
but you still want to see it
yes
even though you don't like Unbreakable?
Yes, all the things you were saying.
And I don't like much of M. Night Shyamalan's work.
Yeah, all those
things. So even the stuff mostly considered good
appears you're not a fan of? I'll watch anything that's kind of a superhero
movie, if I'm honest with you. Alright then. Have you seen
Big Hero 6? No. Well, that's a horrible lie,
isn't it? Ah, well, I will watch it.
Okay. But you won't watch Split,
which is kind of a superhero movie.
Is it, though?
Yes.
Is it?
Superpowers.
It's all he did.
No, but it's a revelation at the end that it's basically a superhero movie.
No, but you see, he keeps switching personalities and whatever.
That's not a superpower.
And his strength keeps changing and stuff.
No, it's not a...
It's in the M. Night Shyamalaniverse.
If one of the characters has anemia or whatever, and therefore he's quite weak, it's not a superpower.
But Mr. Glass, does he have no superpowers?
He's a criminal genius.
But also, no, he doesn't have any superpowers.
So he's not a-
He's very brittle.
But Unbreakable is.
Bruce Willis' character.
Yes, yes.
His name's Unbreakable.
Okay, so there's one superhero in this.
Yeah.
No, what I'm saying is Mr. Splits is a superpower now,
but the rest of that movie he's not.
He's just a madman.
Yeah, but that's like an origin.
Like, Doctor Strange wasn't a superhero at the start of the movie.
You're saying, okay, so there needs to be a percentage
of actual superheroing in the movie.
That's exactly what I'm saying. And the back 10% of it's not enough ising in the movie. That's exactly what I'm saying.
And the back 10% of it's not enough is what you're saying.
That's exactly what I'm saying.
You're a madman.
I know.
But maybe I'm a superhero.
We'll see at the end of this.
We will.
You know, I'm all for it.
You know what else I'm for?
Ian Malcolm.
Yes.
Jurassic Park.
Jurassic Park.
And Jurassic 2.
Yep.
What's that one called?
Lost World.
He's going to return for Jurassic World 2.
Oh.
Hologram?
No, he's still alive in real life and in this universe.
There you go.
So he's a big player in the sequel book.
So I think it makes more sense for him to come back
than Alan Grant, I guess.
Because Alan Grant's like,
I've had enough of this shit.
But Ian Malcolm's like,
That's true.
He has also had enough of all this shit, hasn't he?
Yeah.
But I think people maybe just like him.
Yeah.
So he was the best part of Independence Day 4-2.
Yeah.
ID 4-2.
That's true.
That was a movie.
And this will also be a movie.
Now, both of us received a lot of tweets regarding Jeff Goldblum.
For some reason, Jeff Goldblum was in Sydney.
Yes.
Which, to be clear, is nowhere near us.
No, it's many hours, nine-hour drive.
And he was giving away, he was in like a food truck giving people sausages and bread.
He had a sausage sizzle going.
That's nice.
For charity.
Man, I could go sausage sizzle right now.
Why don't you bloody Uber Eats it?
Why don't you go down to Coles, Mason, and get some sausages and get some bread?
That's not the point. You don't your bloody Uber eats it? Why don't you go down to Coles, Mason, and get some sausages and get some bread? That's not the point.
You don't do that.
You go to a hardware store where they're doing a sausage sizzle.
That's what you do.
You're right.
As soon as this is over, after I've eaten my waffles, I'm going to find a sausage sizzle.
You should go sausage first, then waffles.
I do whatever I want.
I'm a maverick.
I don't like this.
You're getting waffles delivered to my house like a king.
I don't like it. I would step over the corpses of all my I'm a maverick. I don't like this. You're getting waffles delivered to my house like a king. I don't like it.
I would step over the corpses of all my friends for a sausage sizzle.
I would eat two full meals if I saw a sausage sizzle on the way home.
I'd go to have a sausage sizzle.
No, you wouldn't.
Yeah, I would.
With onion?
No.
Why not?
It's too much food.
Too acidic?
Yeah, I don't like onion.
Yeah, I know what you're saying.
Yeah.
Onion's good.
No, wrong.
Okay.
Indiana Jones 5 has a release date.
Great.
So I just got to...
When's Harrison Ford going to die?
I'm just going to work out a bit before that.
It'll be after Ridley Scott.
It'll be significantly after Ridley Scott.
They're not that different in age.
No.
Harrison Ford's like 74, maybe?
Okay.
Yeah.
11 years is a long time
in Hollywood
that's true
wait 74, 79
he's 79
5 years
yeah
but then sometimes
you know Bill Paxton
will die for no reason
you just don't know
sometimes he will
that's true
you just don't know
release date of
July 19th 2019
two years
yeah
two years from now
so that's
do you think it's gonna be
do you think they're gonna do
some de-aging
we've talked about this before what's... Do you think it's going to be... Do you think they're going to do some de-aging?
We've talked about this before.
What's happening?
No, I think it'll be Old Man.
I think he's going to take... Old Man Jones.
Old Man Jones, yeah.
I think that'll be...
That he'd lean into it, is what I say.
Yeah, okay.
You know?
Because they didn't lean into it enough in the last one?
Absolutely they didn't.
They were like, he's still action hero.
Or they leaned into it too much and he was ineffective.
Because he was kind of dottering.
I don't remember him being really...
He wasn't very proactive in that movie.
Yeah, but he was still hanging on the side of mine carts or whatever.
That was Temple of Doom.
Yeah, that's what I'm thinking of.
You're thinking of 1984.
He was still hanging on the side of that Air Force One, wasn't he?
Yeah, that was the movie.
It was a different movie and different character.
He was still saying, I'm Jack Ryan.
Yep. Look at me. He was still saying, I'm Jack Ryan. Yep.
Look at me.
He was still solving Hollywood homicides, wasn't he?
That's right.
Yep, yep.
He was still Firewall.
Yeah.
Good work.
He was still probably in some sort of Mr. Mom style movie that I don't know of.
Is that really Sabrina?
Oh, yeah.
He's in Sabrina.
I would say that.
Yeah.
Anyway, good.
Just make a good one
Spielberg's doing it though
what do you think of that
that sounds good
does it
yeah
as I've said before
and I thought I'd caught more flack
than this than I should
yeah
I don't feel like Spielberg's
made like a fantastic movie
in like 20 years
do you think
it's all serviceable
and it's all pretty good
yep
but when was the
like Minority Report
was maybe the last
like mind-blowing movie
that he made
what was Lincoln
look at me
I'm the president
I didn't see it
but I'd imagine
it was a lot of that
a lot of Daniel Day-Lewis
being like
I pretended to be the president
for 16 months in the woods
or whatever the fuck he does
I've got wooden teeth now
yeah
that was probably
another president
they all had wooden teeth
probably
they all had wooden teeth
yeah
are you saying
do you think the time
of a rollicking adventure film
is done?
No,
I just think
you give it to a younger director.
That's what I think.
Somebody who can kind of...
Fast and Furious guy.
Yeah,
give it to Justin Lin.
Yeah, right.
He'd do it.
Give it to James Wan.
Do you know what I mean?
I like Spielberg.
One syllable,
three letters.
Yes,
that's right.
Yeah.
Asian. Spielberg, too many letters. Yeah. Caucasian. letters yes that's right Asian Spielberg too many letters
yeah
Caucasian
yeah that's right
thumbs down
thumbs down in a big way
but do you see what I'm saying
is can he make a throwback
kind of adventure movie
that he doesn't
he hasn't been making
yeah
he hasn't made one of those
really since
The Last Crusade
which is in 1989
maybe he'll bring like a
like a
maybe he'll bring that
that sensibility,
like that old man sensibility.
Yeah.
I don't know.
And I know people say that Spielberg's not the problem with that movie,
it was Lucas' script and too much CGI or whatever,
but he okayed a lot of that stuff.
You know what I mean?
But it's his friend George, you know?
Yeah.
But George Lucas, what I'm saying, though,
is George Lucas is not involved in this one, though, either.
Good.
Terrific.
Terrific-o.
So...
I don't know.
Maybe you have Indiana you have indiana
jones as this doddering old adventurer yeah and we've got and we get a not not shia labouf we get
a younger or a younger adventurer who's like who's being pulled along in this adventure and he's like
what's yeah so not necessarily his son or daughter but like just someone who's yeah yeah yeah like he
because he always he's always dragging along people.
He drags along Marcus.
That's true.
He drags along Sala.
Yeah, yeah.
He drags along that small Asian boy.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Marion.
Do you reckon he's married in this one, or do you reckon he's divorced?
He's not divorced.
Because remember he got married.
Mm-hmm.
You remember that, right?
Yes.
So do you think he's going to be, like, living at home?
He's, like, a happy dad?
Like, he's a retiree, and he's living on a farm somewhere
and then he's dragged back in by the ghost of his father or something?
All of these are quite good.
All these, I feel, have possibilities.
What, my ideas?
Yeah, all of your ideas are great, James.
Disagree.
It's taken me a long time to come to terms with this,
but all of your ideas are great.
You're right.
I am great.
But so, yeah, so what do you want to see is what I'm saying.
I want to see, you know what?
I want to see a DH sequence.
Now that you mention it.
Because they're pretty good at it now.
Because they're pretty good now.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Do you want to see like a parallel story?
Maybe if it's like, let's say it's like 70-30.
Like 30 in the past.
That would be good.
Yeah.
A flying hellfish situation. Yes.. That would be good. Yeah. A flying hellfish situation.
Yes.
That would be really good.
Yeah.
Why couldn't you have a story that was partly set in World War II?
And he kind of, he lost out in whatever it was.
Yeah, yeah.
And now he has to go back and redo it.
That would be great.
And the Nazis are still around because it's like the 60s and 70s.
And there's another adventurer who's like.
A Chris Pratt type.
Yes.
And he's like, your time's up, old man.
I'm going to beat you to it, but then I have to team up.
Yes.
Yeah.
We did it.
We made the perfect Indiana Jones movie.
All right, so 70-30, partly set World War II,
with a Chris Pratt type, and they team up.
Or it could be a Chris Pine type.
Yeah, Chris Pine type would also work.
Or a Chris Hemsworth type.
Any of those.
Just no Shia LaBeouf-ing about.
No Shia LaBeouf-ing about. No Shia LaBeouf-ing about.
Maybe he was eaten by sharks in between movies.
Don't get a little weedy man and put him in a big old leather jacket and pretend he's
a tough guy.
No, don't.
No hot rod tough guys, all right?
No, thank you.
Yeah.
And also because there's still Nazis, like now.
Yeah, right?
There's still Nazis who have gotten away with it.
The Nazi hunting still exists.
Oh, how about a scene where modern-day Indiana Jones
punches a Nazi on TV?
That'd be great.
That'd be great, yeah.
But what I'm saying is if it's the 60s and 70s,
maybe there's some old Nazis
that are trying to bring the Nazis back or whatever.
I don't know.
I just think the Russians didn't really do it in the last one.
Absolutely not, yeah.
As we know, the Russians are good people all around.
I don't like the way that they're being portrayed by the media, basically.
Fake news.
Fake news, all that.
Fake news all around.
Yeah.
I'm all for it.
Same.
These ideas, I was lukewarm and then we talked each other around.
We fired it up, yeah.
Also, Star Wars Episode IX has a release of May 24th, 2019.
Big year.
Not a December release, Mason, if you don't mind me saying so.
What do you think of that?
Pretty good.
Yeah.
So that means, I don't know whether they're giving up that December spot.
I don't think they should.
That's money in the bag, mate.
Yeah.
But I don't know.
Maybe they've got something else coming out that year as well.
So that means between episode eight and nine,
there's only like a year and a bit.
It's like a year and a half.
So if you love Star Wars,
Mason,
we're getting more Star Wars than you can believe in the shortest amount of
time we've ever had.
Great.
Except for the,
between this and Rogue One,
which is a year.
Yeah.
Well,
rushing has never been a problem before,
so.
No,
certainly not.
It's going to be great.
Great.
Yeah.
That's all the news. All the news. We're all talked out, aren't we certainly not. It's going to be great. Great. Yeah, that's all the news.
All the news.
We're all talked out, aren't we?
Yep.
We're going to do it.
Okay, the superhero showdown.
Superhero, our famous superhero showdown.
We've done four to six of these already.
They're often requested.
Yes.
We do maybe one every 50 or so episodes.
Yeah, I think so.
Something like that.
Yeah, so it's about that time of year again.
What are the rules of the superhero showdown?
Here's the rules.
I'm ready.
Rules.
What did we decide last time?
Oh, yeah, okay.
So basically what happens is we pick two people.
We face them off against each other.
The fight takes place in a standard-sized American football field.
Yes.
Neither of us have ever set foot on an American football field.
We don't even know if they even have a standard size
they might be all different
I learned very recently that Australian rules football ovals
all are different sizes
what?
yes
I didn't know that
they are though
Matt Stewart told me that
he would know wouldn't he
he would know he's mad for it
but anyway
standard size American football field
each bloody guy
participant
each participant in the fight
appears at an opposite end
of the field
yep
as if by magic
yep
they have all the equipment
they would normally have on them
unless
unless
extenuating circumstances
circumstances
yep
and the fight
they perceive the other person
as a threat
yep
and they attempt to defeat
the other person
in a way they would normally
attempt to defeat that person
yes
so if
if that person would normally fight to the death that's what they do yep if they would normally attempt to defeat that person. Yes. So if that person would normally fight to the death, that's what they do.
Yep.
If they would normally fight to incapacitate, that's what they would do.
If they would normally fight to incapacitate, then escalate if it doesn't work immediately.
Wolverine.
Like the Wolverine.
Like the Wolverine, that's what they do.
Yep.
You can't, no vehicles, but you can summon them if that's something you can do.
You can do, yep.
No help.
So if you're Batman, you can't call Robin.
Yep.
What else?
Our decisions are final.
Yes.
Unless you think we're wrong, in which case, you're right.
Do not email in.
It's fine.
Do you want me to kick it off or do you want to kick it off?
Kick it off.
Kick it off.
All right.
Also, we might be doing some ultimatums as well.
Yes, also we're mixing that up.
We decided we'd open up the field this week to ultimatums.
A few weeks ago, somebody asked us,
would you rather tell Harrison Ford that he can't fly his plane anymore
because he's too old,
or would you rather tell him he cannot wear his earring anymore
because he looks dumb?
Yes.
There was much spirited debate.
So if we've got a few of those, we'll throw a couple of those in as well.
That was a four-hour episode,
and I don't think we decided upon it in the end.
So we've got a few of them thrown in for good measure.
Now, I know I said no cars, but this first one has a car.
Okay, great.
Because there's not really any rules.
There's not really any rules.
This is from Colin Littlewood.
When you said, what were the rules, just earlier,
it was the first time I remembered there are, in fact, rules to this.
In some time.
Dom Toretto in his car of Fast and Furious fame,
the egg in the vest from Fast and Furious,
Vin Diesel versus Bumblebee.
Oh, okay.
Presumably movie version Bumblebee.
Movie Bumblebee.
Oh, that's right.
The characters are the characters in their prime as well.
Yes.
Correct.
So presumably Bumblebee not with his limbs torn off,
which I assume happens in one of them.
Yep.
He can't talk because that's his prime version.
That's right.
Not that he needs to talk, does he, in this scenario?
No, that's true.
So I would say this version of Dom Toretto, Fast and Furious 8.
Yep.
He's in his prime, right?
Because he's at his most super spy version.
He's not a guy stealing DVD players.
Yeah, he's very dangerous.
Though in 7, he's pretty dangerous as well.
They have a street fight.
That's true.
He leaps that car into the helicopter and his heart stops,
but then love brings him back.
Yes. So he's got the power then love brings him back. Yes.
So he's got the power of love on his side.
That's obviously going to help.
But Bumblebee is a robot car.
That's true.
With a lot of guns.
Oh, yeah, he does.
He's got internal all sorts of guns.
Has anyone in Fast and Furious been shot to death?
Like anybody significant?
Michelle Rodriguez?
I think she was in a car accident.
She was shot into amnesia. Yes, she was, yeah. I think she was in a car accident. She was shot into amnesia.
Yes, she was, yeah.
I think she was in a car accident.
Was Han shot to death?
You don't even know who that is, do you?
No, he was in three, right?
Three and five, six, seven.
Okay, right.
Maybe, I don't remember.
Because three said in the future.
It's not important.
What is important?
Two things are important.
One, my waffles are here.
Secondly. Are they? I think so. It's not important. What is important? Two things are important. One, my waffles are here. Secondly.
Are they?
I think so.
Go into this.
No, he's going in the wrong.
No, he's going down the wrong street.
This guy's an idiot.
That's the perils of ordering waffles online.
He's on a bicycle.
There's ice cream in there.
It's going to melt.
This guy.
No, wait.
He's coming back.
No.
No. Get a GPS, mate. He's coming back. No. No.
Get a GPS, mate.
Did you check the address?
Yeah.
I'm not going to say what your address is.
Please don't.
No, on this podcast.
Wait.
He's coming back.
It's okay.
It's all right.
It's all right.
Okay, good.
ETA one minute.
Let's knock this off in 30 seconds.
All right, good.
No, I'm just kidding.
No, well, this one at least.
Okay.
Well, look.
Dom Toretto's invincible, and he's got family on his side, even though the family's not there.
The spirit of La Familia
is there, right?
Yeah, that's right.
He's fought multiple cars
at once.
I feel that also maybe
his prime is
before the end
of Fast and Furious 8
because then La Familia
is not as strong.
I mean, he's got a kid
and that's the power
of La Familia, obviously.
But he's not friends with a rock so much anymore.
No, but also Bumblebee doesn't have his kid in a glass case somewhere.
That's true, yeah.
So he's not holding back, is he?
That's true.
Do you think there's any chance he could disable Bumblebee
like he would a car?
Like put NOS in him and explode his brain or something?
Ooh. And remember, he can't ramp off anything.
On a football field, that's true, yeah.
He can just do doughies.
He'd have to wait until somebody...
I reckon he could drive up that weird forked football field time thing.
Yeah.
This guy does not know what he's doing.
He keeps going up the same wrong street.
Do you want to wait outside for him?
Wave him down?
My ice cream's melting.
My waffles are getting cold.
Maybe he's not on a bike.
Maybe he's on a scooter, a motorized scooter.
He's definitely on a bicycle.
It says Uber bicycle.
It's got five stars.
Not anymore, buddy.
What if it gets here and it's not melted?
You're still going to rank him down?
No, I'm not.
All right, good.
Anyway, continue.
Bumblebee could...
Do you think Bumblebee would just unload...
Bumblebee's not lethal towards humans, though.
That's true, yeah.
Dom Toretto is a killer.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah.
And he would...
Would he be fascinated by a Bumblebee, though?
Yeah, but it's a threat.
That's true.
Yeah.
And he's not averse to killing.
Do you think Bumblebee would start as a car or a robot?
He'd start as a car. He's averse to killing. Do you think Bumblebee would start as a car or a robot? He'd start as a car.
He's a robot in disguise.
So do you think Dom Toretto would just be like,
I'll just trash this car.
Yeah, that's true.
And then Bumblebee would turn into a robot and smash him?
Because Dom Toretto would be like,
this isn't really a threat because it's just a car.
Just a car.
He's never seen a...
With nobody, yeah.
With literally nobody.
Yeah, he's never seen a Transformers before.
I mean, maybe he's wary that there's a bomb in it,
but he'd have to get near it to destroy it.
That's true.
And I imagine when he got near,
Bumblebee would transform and just punch a hole in it.
Yeah, because what's Dom Toretto going to do?
The best he can do is kind of turn into it.
Yeah.
He can give it a bit of a side swipe.
Yeah.
But as soon as he does that,
Bumblebee's going to turn into Bumblebee
and sort of do a tumble over him.
Yeah, and then
smash him yeah but not to death though i think if dom toretto survives the initial having his car
smashed into little pieces yeah i think what he's gonna street fight him maybe get on the top of it
what but he knows cars man he doesn't know cybertron cars yeah but they're not what if he gets on the
back of his neck and pulls out some stuff that's some wires yeah but they're not... What if he gets on the back of his neck? And pulls out some stuff. Pulls out some wires. Yeah, but they're not strictly Earth cars, are they?
I mean, they look like them, like the shell of them,
but they don't have the components of an Earth car.
That's true, they don't have Earth components.
So he can't be like, I'll pull out the carburetor.
How about this?
Could you conceive that he could...
Bumblebee immediately wrecks Dom's car.
He's beautiful.
Is it a Charger?
What is it?
It's probably a Charger.
Yeah.
Right?
And then Dom leaps out of the car. He runs around. B it a Charger? What is it? It's probably a Charger. Yeah. Right? And then Dom leaps out of the car.
He runs around.
Bumblebee's chasing him with the lasers, the blasters, with the missiles, with all this
sort of stuff.
And Vin Diesel can't be shot, so.
Yeah, exactly, because he's unshootable.
Yeah.
He makes it back to his car.
He grabs a NOS out.
He clambers on top of Bumblebee.
He NOSes him in the neck.
What happens?
Yeah, his head would come off.
That's right.
Yeah. Okay, all right. We'll give it to Dom Toretto. We'll give it to Dom Toretto. Yeah. NOS to the neck noses him in the neck. What happens? Yeah, his head would come off. That's right.
Okay, all right.
We'll give it to Dom Toretto.
We'll give it to Dom Toretto.
Yeah.
Nose to the neck.
That didn't kill anyone.
Yeah, it's true.
Any transformer.
His head would pop off and it would go through the goalposts. If it was Optimus Prime, Optimus Prime has a sword.
I'll be back in a minute.
All right, I'll be here.
I'll hold the fort.
I'll hold the regular room.
This is apparently podcasting now, everybody.
This is where we're at.
Some people put
effort into, like, they research and they do like this
they have journalistic integrity and they spend
months crafting
a story in a world and sometimes you
just fucking order waffles and leave the room
and then you're just left with... I not eating them now we're on the podcast
i can hear you chewing through the headphones i'll be quiet
you're an idiot this is great it's so good how many waffles three? Three wafflers. Okay, good. All right, get a fork.
I'm so sorry, everybody.
I don't.
If he's chewing too loud, I'll put a stop to it.
I'll bloody stamp it right out.
Or I'll just let it go.
I don't know.
We'll see.
See how that goes.
Look at this guy, the knife and a fork.
This is outrageous.
This is not podcast protocol.
This is 2017 at its worst. We're making our own rules we're the mavericks all right next do you want to do the next one well you're eating
waffles so you probably can't do you want me to do the next one yeah let's give me another one all
right uh what do we got here this is from halvey buckets buckets yep maybe it's bouquets it might
be would you this is a might be. Would you rather.
This is a would you rather.
Would you rather be the weakest superhero, like Squirrel Girl.
Yes.
Or the strongest sidekick, like Robin?
Ooh, that's a really good question.
The door opens, I'm just going to close.
Okay.
You talk, though.
Look, that's actually a really good question.
I thought so.
Because the thing about being a weak superhero.
Yeah.
I feel Squirrel Girl kind of doesn't count
because her thing is that she can defeat anyone.
That's the gag, even though she doesn't really have any powers.
Sure.
You mean like the bike rider from One Punch Man?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally, yeah.
Like that kind of.
But I like the idea of, I think if you're a weak superhero,
I very much enjoy characters who are very weak
yeah but who who who can counter that like they've been doing it for a really long time
like toad in in the first x-men movie right he's fighting he's fighting people with you know
optic blasts and telekinesis and indestructible adamantium claws and yeah whatever and he's a
guy who can cling to walls and he's got a long tongue
and he's got a lot of spit.
But he's been doing it for 30 years.
Yeah, he's been doing it for his whole life.
So he's a machine.
So you think it would be better to be that version than...
Do you want to take a waffle break?
Yeah, let's take a waffle break.
I'll be two minutes.
No, it's all right, because I'll play some bloody Sniper Elite 4,
which I'm willing to.
So guys, I'm going to edit this.
If you also want to eat waffles where you are.
Waffle break for everyone.
How melted is that ice cream?
Oh, that's pretty melted.
No, no.
The edge of it is, but the center is fine.
Okay, good.
All right.
We'll be back, everybody.
Yay, waffle break.
But no time for you would have passed,
unless I edit in the entire length of this pause.
We're back, baby.
All right.
We did it.
Some would say that was the most
unprofessional moment
in the podcast,
but I would say
it was the realest moment.
It's about standard.
Okay, so you think
being the weakest superhero
is better
than being like a Nightwing?
Not Nightwing,
say a Robin.
I don't know.
I kind of would also
like to be Robin.
This is a tough one.
Because I feel like
if you're a sidekick...
Robin with pants, though.
Yeah.
Short shorts, Robin. But you're not one. Because I feel like if you're a sidekick... Robin with pants, though. Yeah, yeah.
Short shorts Robin.
But you're not necessarily the focus,
but also you'd probably be used by the supervillains to draw her out.
Yeah, you'd get kidnapped a lot, wouldn't you? Yeah, and sidekicks have a tendency to be expendable.
Oh, Robins, definitely.
Yeah.
There's been so many Robins.
So many Robins.
And look at, like, even Bucky was killed.
That's true.
For quite a while.
You know what I mean?
But being... I don't know. I think there's something really cool about being a depowered superhero,
but being just really good at it.
I kind of like that.
Yeah, but Robin's also the best sidekick.
Like Robin's better than a lot of standard superheroes.
Superheroes, right?
Yeah.
Like he is.
Like Superboy as well is a pretty good sidekick.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like basically any Robin is better than most superheroes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Ugh.
But you'd still be a sidekick, wouldn't you?
You'd still be a sidekick.
But also you've got that protection as well.
You've got that layer of kind of, you know, like you've got that buffer between you and
the Joker or whatever, even though he'd still come and get you in the night.
Yeah.
And I kind of like the idea of being your own superhero though that's true yeah
yeah oh this is a tough one like like a kick-ass oh yeah that's terrible that's a terrible example
but i guess the question is am i weak are we if i'm a weak the weakest superhero am i weak in the
sense that i don't have a lot of superpowers yeah am i a bad superhero i think weak as in like
depowered or low powered. Okay, right.
Compared to what you're going up.
So I don't necessarily mean that it's no powers,
but what you're going up against is way above your pay grade.
Yes, I actually like that a lot.
Yeah, that's kind of fun.
Ingenuity.
Yes.
Yeah.
A big tongue.
A big tongue.
There's a big tongue.
That's fine.
Yeah.
All right, let's do that.
All right.
We take the big tongue.
Unless we can be Robin with pants.
In which case, we're Robin with pants.
We're Robin with pants, yeah.
You got one?
What do you got?
Oh, let's have a look.
Okay, this is outside the normal realms of our rules.
Okay.
But also, who cares?
Yeah, who cares?
Let's see.
This is from Derps and P. Derp.
I know.
Who I believe has made many appearances before.
He would like to know
who would win in a fight
between Predator and Kevin McAllister.
That's very opportune
because I'm wearing a Lutcrate Predator t-shirt.
From the Lutware collection.
It's a Predator t-shirt.
So it's set in Kevin's house
from Home Alone 1.
Oh, home ground.
Kevin has 24 hours prep time
and Predator isn't aware
of what Kevin can do.
Also, so Kevin is aware of what Predator can do?
Presumably Predator's been scoping out the neighborhood,
but Kevin knows he's...
Yeah, I guess so.
Because Kevin's aware of the threat.
Yeah, he's aware of the wet bandit, so he must be aware of the Predator.
Here's a question.
Is Kevin a killer?
Yeah.
Yeah, he would have killed those guys, wouldn't he?
He'd lit them on fire.
It's weird that they aren't dead, right?
They've got glass in their face.
There's something wrong with that kid.
He's hitting people.
He could have just gone to the police station and said,
hey, my parents left.
Can you call them or something?
Can you find them?
How hard would it be?
Find out the hotel they're going to and call them.
But it's one of those weird universes where the adults don't believe the kids.
You know what I mean?
It's one of those situations. Yeah, that's true, yeah. And don't they cut the phone lines or the power's out or something? I don't believe the kids. You know what I mean? It's one of those situations.
Yeah, that's true.
And don't they cut the phone lines or the power out or something?
I don't remember.
He couldn't find a quarter to use a payphone?
Come on.
Come on.
He was there because he wanted to kill him.
There's so many ways out.
But he was like, I'm going to set traps and kill him.
Also, have you seen that?
The Macaulay Culkin.
Yeah, the short film that came out a couple of years ago.
It was called I'm Alone at Home by Myself or something where it's it's messed him up because
it's fine yeah i know it's fun too yeah sure i mean and the predator he's not a winner is he
really no he's a he's a sore loser certainly but how many predator movies does he walk away
uh none yeah well i mean strictly speaking he's well he's killed in he
kills himself in predator one yep after he's defeated after he's defeated danny glover defeats
him in predator two and then the others the other predators have to show up and back him up yep uh
predators they kill them all yep alien versus predator it's kind of a draw in the first one
yep an alien versus predator, they defeat the aliens.
Yeah, and the Predators.
Because there's an alien-predator fight on the road or whatever.
So, yeah, his skill level seems to adjust to whoever he's fighting as well.
Well, that's true.
He's only as good as the protagonist.
And also, as we know from from predator 2 and from
well actually from all the predator movies he won't if he is on a like if somebody doesn't
have a weapon he won't attack them the predator we're talking about the predator not kevin
mccallister yes kevin mccallister will attack anyone but he you know you're from the batman
v predator yep uh limited series he if he doesn't consider you a threat, he would just leave you alone kind of thing.
If you're not a worthy adversary,
if you're a man with a gun,
he will kill you with his plasma cannon
because it's not worth a fight.
But if you draw a sword on him,
he'll fight you hand to hand.
So you don't think he would ever shoot at Kevin McAllister?
No, I don't think he would.
I think he'd see a worthy,
I think he'd see a fellow killer,
a fellow hunter.
He'd identify,
well, maybe Topher Grace's character
for Predators is grown-up Kevin McAllister.
Twist.
Twist.
That is a twist.
Yeah, I think also, like,
I mean, he's got the cloak.
But Kevin McAllister has access to flour,
doesn't he?
He does, that's right.
He has a big bag of flour.
Flour and feathers.
And also he electrocutes the ground
so that would fry the system yeah as well do you think does a predator wear shoes i don't think he
does they're barefoot but he's got claws so he wouldn't slip on ice but he'd step on broken
glass and that's true yeah his head would be lit on fire he's got greasy dreads i feel he'd stand
on broken glass and then he'd pause a moment to throw his arms in the air and be like, at which point, iron on a string to the head.
BB gun.
If Kevin McCallister pulled a BB gun though on him, that's it.
There would be shoulder cannon explosion.
That's true, yeah.
Probably, you know what, if he pulled the BB gun, I feel the Predator would throw that disc
and chop Kevin McCallister's hands off, probably.
I was going to say the barrel of the gun, but probably his hands.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
So I think the Predator would endure a lot of damage until Kevin McAllister pulled a
BB gun.
But would he?
Yes.
Really?
Because he does.
He has.
Yeah.
And also he throws bricks.
Would the Predator perceive that as a threat?
No.
No.
Throwing a brick.
A kid throwing a brick.
I don't think the Predator would perceive Kevin as a threat until he was in the murder house.
Like, I think if he was, for some reason...
Why is Predator breaking in?
I don't know.
He's robbing houses at Christmas.
What would he need in the house?
Maybe he'd be...
He's in his prime, so he wouldn't be injured.
He wouldn't be looking for a refuge.
Maybe his spaceship's been shot down. Okay, it's in his prime so he wouldn't be injured he wouldn't be looking for a refuge maybe his spaceship's
been shot down
okay
it's in the backyard
and there's
there's like a derelict
old one
that McAllister's house
is built on
gotcha
so he needs to get to it
yeah okay cool
and he has to go
okay
he has to go through
Kevin McAllister
yeah
but Kevin McAllister
knows he's coming
yes
he's like
not on my watch
that's right
not on this Christmas
so I think
I think he i think he
wouldn't perceive mcallister as a threat until until he gets in the house and he's being attacked
with like kitchen knives and bricks and hot irons and whatever yeah and he's like i might actually
die if i don't get through this so do you think you'd then kill him because those traps are still
in effect regardless that's true even if he did kill, a lot of them would still be activated. I think he would attempt to avoid Kevin McAllister until he got hit with a bag of flour, at which
point he's not invisible anymore and he's realized that McAllister wants to kill him.
Right, okay.
At which point he's like, well, it's kill or be killed here.
I'm going to kill this small child.
So then he would kill him and win.
Yeah, I think so.
Or would he?
I think he would.
What is the most lethal thing that Macalester has in that house?
Everything.
It's all lethal.
He's swinging paint cans.
No, but that wouldn't kill a predator.
But he's only flesh and blood.
He's real big, though.
Yeah, he's big, but you can be shot.
You can make him bleed.
You hit him in the head.
That's true, yeah.
But then again, Joe Pesci got hit in the head with a paint can.
Were there any chainsaws
I don't remember
I don't think so
maybe
maybe
yeah
it might come down to
Kevin McAllister
with a chainsaw
versus Predator
with those arm blades
I think also
if Kevin McAllister
knew the Predator
was coming
yeah
he would
he'd ramp it up
yeah he'd ramp up
the lift out of you
that's true
like it might be
the first trap
you get beheaded
by a
chainsaw that's true that's and he and the predator man this is a good fight it's a great fight but
also the predator is aware of traps we know that because dutch tried to lure him into that spike
pit yeah and he saw it but you think but he doesn't know a house does he yeah i think he
knows a jungle spike pit because he'd be like well he would that's that's the normal ground
yeah and i can see that there's there's a pit's been and he would have done a lot of jungle hunting
yeah around the i don't think he's done any suburban hunting no in predator 2 maybe but
it's a different predator every time that's true yeah i don't think he'd be aware because he just
he just see some shelves of regular household accoutrements yeah he wouldn't be aware that
one of those is connected to a string that's going to swing and hit him in the face.
Yeah, that's right.
All right.
So I think it's Kevin McAllister because Kevin McAllister would go lethal.
Immediately.
Yeah.
That's true, yeah.
Yeah, because it's an alien as well.
Who cares?
That's true, yeah.
If you kill a monster from space, that's fine.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, he clearly would have killed those men.
Absolutely.
So I don't think he'd have any problem killing an alien.
Let me think, though.
Yeah.
But I think if the Predator had a line of sight and knew he was a threat and had his shoulder cannon, that's different.
That's probably true, yeah.
Like, I think he'd have to be taken out in the first couple of traps.
In the first couple of Predators, does he kill somebody who is holding a gun but is
not aware of how to use it?
Like, does he kill, like, a woman who's just wheeling a gun?
I know we'd see, like, skinned villagers and whatever.
Yeah, that's true, yeah.
So I would say if you have a gun, he'd kill you.
I'd say it's a very loose code, really.
Isn't it, though?
Yeah.
He's a baby.
Yeah.
Like, he's not honorable.
Also, and regardless, unless McAllister beheads him immediately,
he's going to set that self-destruct,
and that whole neighborhood's going up.
The wet bandits are not robbing any houses after that.
No houses.
Are we giving it to McAllister?
I think so, yeah.
Okay, yeah.
All right, cool.
The winner is McAllister.
The loser is the rest of the neighborhood, because it's going to go up in a nuclear fire Yeah. All right, cool. The winner is McAllister. The loser is the rest of the neighborhood
because it's going to go up in a nuclear fireball.
All right, what do we got here?
Do you want to do a would you rather?
Yeah, let's do it.
It's from Not Scott.
Uh-huh.
Would you rather be a mutant at a normal school
or a normal kid in Xavier's school?
Does that mean you're undercover
or they think you have mutant powers and you don't?
Oh, right.
Well, that wouldn't last very long, would it?
What power are you going to claim to have?
Yeah, but some are like, I could change my eyes to a different color.
Like, there's real low-level mutant stuff.
I guess that's true.
But also, Professor X can read your mind.
So, I guess people would know that you're not a mutant.
Maybe your brother went there, so you got it by default.
Oh, right.
Yeah, yeah.
You've got the same house color.
That's right.
You're both in yellow.
You're both in yellow, yeah.
So, I think, yeah. So, I think they right. You're both in yellow. You're both in yellow, yeah. So I think, yeah,
so I think they'd know
you're not a mutant,
but in a regular school
you'd have to hide it
and you'd be hoping
that the version of mutant
that you are is not visible.
Yeah, it's not like
a lot of pus comes out
of your arms and legs.
Yeah, exactly.
Or you're a lizard.
Yeah, exactly.
So any of those.
So in that scenario
you'd probably want to be
at the X-Men school,
but also the X-Men school looks really dangerous also charles xavier killed a lot of people when
he had a stroke or whatever yeah that's true you never know what you never know whose powers are
gonna go haywire in that regular school it's it's yeah every kid is like a kid with a machine gun
i think if you knew if everybody knew you were the kid with no powers yeah i reckon they'd get
you out first every time okay Oh, okay, right.
They'd be like, protect the idiot.
Protect the worthless kid.
Get him out of here.
So, yeah, so like Quicksilver would rush you out or something.
Exactly, yeah.
And he'd cop a bullet, I feel.
Yeah.
But in a regular school, though, I think-
There's bullies.
There's Snapchats.
There's gossip.
You know what you need?
Adamantium claws in those situations.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, like if you
depending on your powers
I think being in a regular school
being a mutant
would be kind of great
yeah
if you could hide it
I mean once you got found out
I don't know
but if you're in the X-Men universe
that would be a problem
but in the regular
in the regular world
would it be that much
of a problem really
I think it would be
less of a problem
in the X-Men world
because then you could go
live with Professor X.
But you have to stay in the school.
Oh, I see.
You can't leave the school.
It's like if you're a Scott Summers,
they're like,
who glasses?
You get your glasses knocked off
and you kill the principal.
Sure, yeah.
But then you still have to go to school.
Yeah.
Very awkward.
Yeah.
No, I don't think it's safer,
but you're right. They would look out for you as a non-mutant.
Because that's what they do, the X-Men.
They look out for regular people.
And maybe your brother's a bully as well, so they'd fear you with him.
You got another one?
Let's have a look.
This is from Bacchanalia on the Reddit.
This is a would-you-rather.
Well, it's not really a would-you-rather.
It's a whole different thing.
But whatever, I think it's fun.
Aunt May is given a little Lord Fauntleroy boy to foster after his mum and dad are killed.
Alfred Pennyworth is given a plucky working class Brooklyn kid to foster after his mum and dad and uncle are killed.
Who raises the better man?
I think Batman's going to be Batman no matter what.
Really?
Yeah, I think.
I don't think.
Because Alfred kind of tried to turn him.
Because of the shot to death in front of him by crime. Yeah. I think... I don't think... Because Alfred kind of tried to turn... Because of the Pratt shot to death
in front of him by crime.
Yeah, yeah.
I think it's pretty much
going to turn out the same.
Because look at Dick Grayson.
He was raised by Alfred as well
for the most part.
Yeah.
And he turned out pretty okay.
Yep.
Like, even though his parents
were also murdered.
Uh-huh.
So I think Batman's
just going to be Batman.
Right.
I don't think that
anything's going to change.
Huh.
Do you think his attitude's
going to change because he has to live in Brooklyn?
Wait, where is he from?
Brooklyn or Queens?
He's from Queens.
Queens, yeah.
He's from Queens.
Yeah, yeah.
Do you think he's going to get bitten by that radioactive spider?
Oh, man, that would be nuts.
He doesn't need that.
No, that's true.
But would he be in a situation where he'd be the nerd at school being picked on, though?
Because I don't think he would.
I think Bruce Wayne, he probably had his bullies, but also he, as a kid, he's proven to be able
to stand up for himself.
Yeah, but where does he learn karate?
Yeah, good point.
But he's kind of tough.
And he doesn't, but that's the thing, like, but I think he's, he, I think he has mental
resolve.
Yeah, that's, yeah, absolutely.
But I don't think.
But he could, he could take a beating.
But how, where's he going to get the money to, to fly around the world and be trained
by all the greatest experts?
He's going to.
He didn't use money to do that for a lot of it.
Depending on the version.
He hit the streets.
But he had a trust fund though.
Yeah, just in case.
He had an Amex Black card, just in case.
If you take the Batman Begins version, he just
got on a boat and went.
I guess so.
Good question.
I reckon he still had that trust fund
I feel
yeah I'm sure he did
as backup
but I think no
Spider-Man under Alfred
would turn out real well
I think he'd probably
he wouldn't have any powers though
no but he'd do a lot of
charity work
that's true
yeah you're right
he'd probably do a lot of
good science
yeah I don't
no he wouldn't become
he wouldn't be a superhero
so you're saying that
Peter Parker
raised by Alfred would not become a superhero no but Bruce saying that peter parker raised by alpha would
not become a superhero but bruce wayne raised by aunt may would still become batman yes or some
variation or some variation on batman probably hey i'm walking here man yeah that's right yeah
because the motivations for spider-man to become spider-man are well a he has powers yes and b
something tragic happens to him but wait yes if Yes. If he's being adopted by Alfred,
does that mean his uncle's already dead
and he's already Spider-Man?
Already got spider powers, you're right.
Then he'd have to be a teen.
So then he probably would be Spider-Man then,
but he'd be Spider-Man with Bruce Wayne's resources.
Yeah, okay.
He'd be more a superior Spider-Man kind of situation.
Exactly, yeah.
Who's the better man, though?
Not superhero.
Who's a better man, though? Not superhero. Who's a better man?
See?
Tricky.
Yeah, I don't know.
Peter Parker's always late.
Punctuality's not part of manliness, all right?
Sure, but who's got a better code of honour?
Because they both have their own.
They've both got pretty similar ideas.
Yeah, okay.
Oh, that's a really good question.
Because...
See, that's the thing.
Spider-Man's...
Maybe this has to...
Maybe it has to be a switched at birth kind of situation.
Right.
Because...
While Spider-Man would go...
If his uncle was killed, he'd go tone manor with with great power comes great responsibility
and he'd have money and he'd have a lot of money yeah and bruce wayne would go with
aunt may and and his and his philosophy would be bats bats well he wouldn't he would have a
completely different like he wouldn't have well i know he'd still have because he still would
have fallen into the cave as a kid yeah so he'd probably still have that weird bat psychology
thing happening in his head yeah so i just think he'd become like a poor version of batman i think
he'd have to pick a different mascot though because it wouldn't be that surely there's not
many that many bats in queens yeah you have to maybe his mascot would be like coney island
seagulls or something sure Sure, yeah. Yeah. But...
I think Peter Parker would become more of a philanthropist.
Yes.
Bruce Wayne isn't motivated by money, is he?
But he just has it.
Do you think if he didn't have it, he'd strive to get it?
No.
I think he'd strive to punch more people.
But do you think he...
Because again, I think...
But he needs money though, doesn't he?
Do you think he needs money to function?
Bruce Wayne, no, I don't think so.
To exist as a superhero.
No.
On the level that he does it at.
You know what I think maybe he'd do
is he would steal money from criminals,
Punisher style.
Okay.
I think Spider-Man would become the better man.
Yeah, probably.
I think Bruce Wayne would become scrappier,
become Seagull Man, obviously.
Coney Island Seagull Man.
He's eating chips out of people's hands
down at the pier.
That's right.
Eating a funnel cake.
But Spider-Man would probably also,
because Spider-Man's not from wealth,
he'd probably take advantage of that to do a lot of great things.
Because I think, because Batman, again,
and I think we've said this before,
Batman should have just taken his literal billions of dollars
and put it into social programming programs
and rehabilitation or whatever,
but he put it into a Batmobile and a Batplane
and a suit where he's just punching people or whatever.
He's going to put that mindset.
He's broken.
He's going to put that mindset into the five boroughs of New York
and just really brutalize people.
He's going to turn into more of a Punisher kind of character, I think.
Yeah, but without the killing.
Yeah, I think Spider-Man's going to be a better man.
Yeah, all right.
I agree.
Sorry, Aunt May.
Yeah.
You're not good at raising children.
It's not her fault, though.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah.
Good work.
Yeah.
Good suggestion, Bacchanalia on Reddit.
This is from Jacob Hagen.
Bart Simpson and Morty from Rick and Morty.
Oh.
Morty's a killer.
Yeah, Morty's a killer.
This is the killer children episode. I think Morty doesn't. Oh. Morty's a killer. Yeah, Morty's a killer. This is the killer children episode.
I think Morty doesn't like to think that he's a killer.
Yeah, but he'll do it.
Like, he'll do it if pressed.
Yeah.
So, wait, we're back.
Bart Simpson's like skateboarding and slingshots,
but how good's a skateboard on grass?
But I don't, that's a good, because we're back in the football field.
Back in the football field, the much maligned football field.
But they perceive each other as a threat.
So what does Bart Simpson do?
Slingshots and skateboards and spray cans.
Yeah, that's true.
He's got like marbles and, you know.
I guess.
And catchphrases.
I guess Bart in his prime is obviously season three through ten,
The Simpsons, but also Bart.
He's waving his butt and he's drawing a face on his butt.
Bart versus the Space Mutants, the video game.
It's a terrible game.
Yeah.
So you're saying Bart's a killer?
I'm not saying he is.
No, he never kills anybody in that.
I don't think so.
Okay.
But he kills aliens.
Yeah, sure, yeah.
Yeah.
But Morty has beaten people to death.
But would he?
As a threat?
Not initially.
Even if Bart, like, holds him down and spits in his mouth, what's he going to do?
Bart couldn't. Morty's bigger. Yeah. Bart's small. Bart's scrappier, like, holds him down and spits in his mouth, what's he going to do? Bart couldn't.
Morty's bigger.
Yeah.
Bart's small.
Bart's scrappier, though, I feel.
Morty's pretty scrappy.
I feel Bart has more mass to him.
Do you remember when Morty smashed that pedophile's head in with a toilet seat?
Oh, yeah, that's a good point, yeah.
Bart's never done that.
Yeah.
But I don't think Bart would ever reach the level of annoyance or threat.
So you think Bart would defeat Morty before Morty snapped?
No, I'm saying Bart...
I'm saying Morty...
I think Morty would defeat Bart,
but I'm saying I don't think Bart would rise to the level
where Morty has to kill him.
Yeah, I can't agree with that.
Yeah.
Done.
I mean, he might accidentally kill him.
Yeah, he definitely could.
I can see Morty accidentally...
Maybe he's got a portal gun on him,
and he accidentally portal guns Bart's head through the goalpost
or something like that.
Sure, yeah.
Though Morty wouldn't have a portal gun on him.
He might.
He's had it in the past.
He's had it, yeah, but it's not his standard gear.
That's true.
If it was Rick, then yeah, it wouldn't, yeah.
That's true.
Do you want me to do another one?
Yeah.
What have we got here?
This is another fight.
Who would win the fight between Mel Gibson
or Russell Crowe?
Two of the least
Australian men
on the planet.
That's right.
Head to head.
Both have anger issues.
Yep.
One's a racist.
Let me imagine it.
They've appeared
in the football field.
Both are drunk.
Okay,
because it's standard equipment
so they're drunk.
They both see
the other one as a threat.
Now this is prime as well
so this is gladiator this is no i would say romper stomper russell okay right and probably but is
that him in his physical prime is that just him angriest i'd say physical prime okay and he's
young as well that's true and i would say probably lethal weapon three mel gibson okay biggest mullet
Lethal Weapon 3 Mel Gibson.
Okay.
Biggest mullet.
So not pre-Mad Max Mel Gibson where he got in a fight,
but he was still so beautiful?
Not that version?
Oh, yeah, maybe.
Yeah.
Because that's the story of Mel Gibson
getting the role of Mad Max
is that he auditioned with his friend.
Mad Goose.
Mad Goose.
Steve Bisley.
Steve Bisley, but he'd gotten into a fight the previous day,
and so he auditioned as one of the thugs because he was all beaten up
and bruised, and then he came back a few days later, a week later,
and he'd healed up, and he was so beautiful.
They're like, he's a beautiful Hollywood man.
Let's get him in.
Let's get him in.
So that era, he was literally like a barroom brawler.
Was Russell Crowe ever a barroom brawler?
No, he was a...
He plays a tough guy.
It was a concierge telephone thrower.
Yeah, but that wasn't in his prime.
No, that was...
But then do you go an older, angrier Russell Crowe,
like an entitled phone-throwing Russell Crowe
against a young, plucky...
Maybe you do.
...Mel Gibson.
Yeah.
I reckon maybe it's the version with the most fight in them.
Yes.
And I feel that in that case, it's phone-throwing Russell Crowe.
Versus young, pre-Mad Max Mel Gibson.
Yes.
Bar fighting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Pretty good matchup, right?
Solid matchup.
So now we've decided on the versions.
Yep.
Uh-huh.
Who wins that fight, though?
Okay.
I mean, I don't think Russell Crowe has actual fighting experience.
No.
Whereas I feel like he plays a tough guy and he's a big guy.
Yeah, yeah.
But I feel Mel Gibson has actual experience in bar fighting.
That's true.
If that story is true.
If that story is true.
Yeah.
But also, here's the question for you.
So in my experience of young Australian males fighting each other in bars,
there's a lot of preamble beforehand.
There's a lot of, you want to go?
No, you want to go.
Do you want to go?
I'll go.
You want to go?
You.
You want to go?
I'll go.
And there's five guys going,
it's not worth it, mate.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
Walk away, mate.
Go on, mate.
We've all had a drink, mate.
Go on, mate.
I feel maybe there's a lot of peacocking.
And then Russell Crowe just,
because at this point he's in his fifties or whatever.
He's forties,
fifties.
And he does,
he doesn't care for it.
He doesn't peacock.
He just,
he just leaps in and starts wailing on him.
I don't,
I'm very suspect that Russell Crowe could actually fight.
Yeah.
You're probably right.
Yeah.
He can probably stage fight,
but not really.
Yeah.
He can absolutely,
of course he could stage fight.
Yeah.
But also he's got mass.
That's true. Yeah. Yeah. And Mel Gibson was a pretty skinny kind of. real fight. Yeah, of course he can stage fight. Yeah. But also he's got mass. That's true, yeah.
Yeah.
And Mel Gibson was a pretty skinny kind of-
Live, very live.
Yeah.
Also, did Mel Gibson win that fight or was he just beaten up?
That's true.
We don't know.
He is a Hollywood pretty boy.
Yeah.
You should see the other guy though.
I wish I could.
Yeah, then we know.
It'd make this a lot easier, wouldn't it?
I don't know. They're drunk. I guess whoever hits the other one with a broken bottle could. Yeah, then we know. It'd make this a lot easier, wouldn't it? I don't know.
They're drunk.
I guess whoever hits the other one with a broken bottle first.
Yeah.
Is that the standard equipment?
Russell Crowe has a phone.
Mel Gibson has a bottle.
What would Russell Crowe have?
He'd have a Bible, probably.
Is he a religious man?
His father is.
Okay.
He's got a guitar.
No.
I think Russell Crowe would like to think a guitar for him is standard equipment,
but it's not, is it?
No, that's true.
You know what?
He's got an Oscar.
Very good.
He's got his Gladiator-era Oscar.
Yeah.
Which he carries around as standard equipment all the time.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah.
I think I'm just going to say Mel Gibson because I know Mel Gibson,
if that story is true, has been in a fight.
Yeah, you're probably right.
And Russell Crowe's like well into Hollywood at that point.
That's true.
So he's got the anger, he's got the bluster, but I don't know whether he's got what it
takes.
Yeah, and he's only fighting a concierge, right?
Yeah, that's right.
A guy who's trying to help him.
Yeah, that's right.
So-
A person who's paid not to attack him.
That's true, yeah.
Mel Gibson ain't been paid to attack, not attack nobody.
That's right, yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah, probably Mel Gibson.
Unless Russell Crowe gets on top of him, I tell you.
Yes.
And the mass brings him down.
Then they start kissing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What's next?
What is next?
Tim Luff1 on Reddit asks, the decision is pre-Serum Steve Rogers versus pre-Iron Man Tony Stark.
He doesn't know any Wing Chun, does he?
Tony Stark. Like pre't know any Wing Chun, does he? Oh, Tony Stark.
Like pre...
No.
Is he...
When's the first time he hits that wooden training dummy?
I think it's like three.
Okay, right.
I think it's three, yeah.
But he probably has been doing it for a bit before that.
Right, okay.
Yeah.
But pre-Serum Captain America is very feisty.
Yeah, very feisty but weak as piss.
That's true.
He's very weak.
But also he won't stop. You'd, but weak as piss. That's true. He's very weak. But also, he won't stop.
You'd have to knock him out.
That's true.
Is Tony Stark a killer?
No, I don't think he is.
Hands around the neck, strangling a man to death.
I don't think he is.
Yeah, I don't think he is either.
He will kill people from a distance.
Absolutely.
He's a coward.
Yeah.
So, standard equipment would be, for him, a scotch glass.
Yeah, he's drunk.
Glass of scotch.
Yep.
And for Steve Rogers... And maybe him a scotch glass. Yeah, he's drunk. Glass of scotch. Yep. And for Captain America, for Steve Rogers.
And maybe like a phone or something.
Yeah, Captain America, Steve Rogers has a garbage can lid.
Right.
Or maybe he doesn't have that because he has something he could scavenge around.
So maybe like a...
A helmet.
Maybe a gridiron helmet.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe, you know what, he has to be able to scavenge something that would be like a shield. So maybe the lid of like one of those popcorn carts. Yeah. Maybe he has to be able to scavenge something that would be like a shield.
So maybe the lid of like one of those popcorn carts.
He's got that.
It's very weak, but it's still something.
It's something.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Fair enough.
I think it's Tony Stark because he's-
Really?
Okay.
Well, I think he treated it as a joke as well.
And he's not a weakling.
He's got standard strength, steve rogers can't
even do like push-ups but he does have some military training so i reckon he could do it i
reckon he could bring him down with a choke i think i think you could i don't think he'd be
able to hold him tight enough i think maybe tony stark would be able to pry him up he's very much
a weakling but steve rogers wouldn't stop. Yeah. You'd have to knock him out.
Yeah.
But I think one could knock out the other.
I think it could go either way.
Yeah.
I reckon if I can see Steve Rogers pulling Tony Stark's legs out from under him.
He's on the ground.
He pulls Tony Stark's legs out from under him.
He hits his head on the goalposts, knocks him out.
Yep.
I think this is going to be a long, drawn-out fight.
Yeah, just real scrappy.
Yeah.
Neither of them very...
Yeah.
But like you said, he does have some combat training.
Yeah.
So he'd have a bait.
And also Steve...
Also, this is pre-serum Steve Rogers in his prime.
Yeah.
So maybe he's got a rifle.
Yeah, maybe he's got a rifle.
He's got a gun.
Yeah, that's right.
But also, Steve Rogers has been beat up a lot.
That's true.
So he's not afraid to be in a long, drawn-out fight.
That's true.
Maybe Tony Stark would be very afraid.
Yeah, and also, because he wouldn't fight.
He's afraid of gluten in his waffles.
That's right.
He wouldn't fight his own battles.
He probably never has.
I reckon he'd go for his phone first.
Yeah, okay.
Because remember in Iron Man 1
when he's on the run from the
10 rings attack and he gets out of his car
and he immediately goes to his phone
he goes to text, I reckon that's the first thing he'd do is text
Jarvis, oh not Jarvis, Happy Hogan
yeah, and then I reckon
maybe he gets a rifle butt to the back of the head
and he's down
because Steve Rogers wouldn't kill him
alright, done, I agree with that what next? I don't know, I can do one if you want and he's down because Steve Rogers wouldn't kill him that's true yeah alright done
I agree with that
yeah nice
what next
I don't know
I can do one if you want
well we've got to do
our standard
duck in a showdown
oh sure absolutely
this is from
It's a Duck Blur
our friends over at
the podcast
It's a Duck Blur
that must be
wrapping up soon right
or the seasons
I think
yeah because there's
100 episodes of that show
but they're alternating
they're doing yeah
and they might wrap it up just in time for the new season to come out.
Ah, very good.
Yes.
Gizmo Duck.
Gizmo Duck.
Versus RoboCop.
Versus RoboCop.
Yeah.
Can you turn your mic a little bit this way?
Yes.
Because Kim's doing the old poppin' madoo.
Okay, we're doing it?
Yep.
All right.
Okay, well, RoboCop's obviously a killer.
Absolutely.
Would he kill a duck in a robot suit? Yeah. He would, wouldn't he? Yeah. He's got, he's like a killer. Absolutely. Would he kill a duck in a robot suit?
Yeah.
He would, wouldn't he?
Yeah.
He's like, comply.
You don't.
He'd shoot you.
And he wouldn't even have to, like, is he going to arrest him?
No, he'd kill him.
Yeah, because he would assume that's some sort of mutant computer cyborg amalgam situation.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I think that's a very short for I mean
gizmo duck does have gizmos though you know what he would do because some no
from see from time to time like Robocop will shoot a rapist in the nuts I reckon
maybe you'll shoot that tire out you know that one tire at the bottom I feel
that's how the fights gonna win do you think that's so one bullet into the
tire gizmo duck tumbles over also gizmo ducks fate is in in that no I don't think it is no I think I talked about it
when I went on the show
I think gizmoduck
is all wedged inside the chest
yeah yeah yeah
what's his name
quack
fenton quack
or something
yeah yeah yeah
fenton crack shell
that's it
Michael was screaming
yeah
we didn't know that
yeah
look I'm gonna
I'm gonna click on the gizmo suit
just to see what's in it
yeah
okay
has it got guns?
Like literal guns?
I don't know if it does.
I know it's got like a helicopter head and it's got a TV on the chest.
Yeah.
What do you think are the chances of Robocop working out the secret word
and then wearing the gizmo duck suit over the top of the Robocop suit?
So Robocop has to know the phrase
blathering blatherskites. And say it.
Unlikely. He's not a
hacker, is he? No, because he's got the
spike. He'd have to spike
Gizmoduck in the neck. And then that would be it. He wouldn't
even need to. Exactly. Look, I think maybe
he would go for... I think he'd go into
arrest mode first. If this is
classic
Robocop, not new Robocop.
But would Robocop kill Gizmoduck if Gizmoduck is non-lethal?
No.
Yeah.
I think he'd arrest him.
But he'd take out the tire.
He'd take out the tire, yeah.
And shoot him in the nuts if possible.
Shoot him in his weird corkscrew dick.
Blammo.
His weird corkscrew duck dick.
All right.
You got another one?
This doesn't say anything about what weapons the gizmo suit has in it.
Okay.
What about this?
I don't know whether this would be in a football field.
Oh, yes.
This is from Eli M.
Or Ellie M.
Who would win?
All of Europe or a sick rat?
Ah, that's very good.
And not like a sick rat.
What a sick rat.
But like a rat with a black plague.
Yeah.
I get it.
What year is it though? Oh, now? Yeah. Could not like a sick rat. What a sick rat. But like a rat with a black plague. Yeah. I get it. What year is it though?
Oh, now?
Yeah.
Could still win.
The rat could still win.
I don't think the rat would win in the modern day.
You'll like this one.
I'm ready.
It's from Benny Benny.
Subaru Showdown.
Vinny Chase versus Superman.
Yes.
But it's in the Entourage universe.
Ugh. Where everything works out for Vinny Chase.
That's so true.
So it turns out that Vinny Chase also had superpowers the whole time.
Yeah, it would, wouldn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And he, yeah.
But he's without his Entourage.
All right, can Vinny Chase call on his Entourage?
Is it an integral part of his character?
I think it is.
I think it is.
So they've got the Bentley.
Yeah, he's got at least
turtle i would say okay right no he'd have them all he'd have he'd have e on the phone and drama
and turtle would be there yeah that's true yeah and superman can't kill him no but he's vinnie
chaser killer i reckon he is i mean i don't know for a fact but i feel like he'd kill yeah yeah if
it and he's probably got like a shark tooth necklace that's made of kryptonite.
Yeah, by accident.
Yeah.
If it's the Entourage universe, then it's Vinny Chase.
It's got to be Vinny Chase, right?
Because he never loses.
Yeah.
He is always the best.
He always gets the movie.
You think he's not going to get the movie, then he gets the movie.
Remember that time they thought he was a drug addict, but it turned out he just wasn't.
Yeah.
I remember that. Yeah. time they thought he was a drug addict but it turned out he just he just wasn't yeah i remember
that yeah remember that time remember that time that remember that time that turtle sold all his
stocks in that vodka company and then and then he was like oh no it became successful he's like oh
no i lost all my money and then it turned out vinnie had bought all those shares and made
presumably a billion dollars and was like here have, have all your shares back. Give it back to Turtle, yeah. Oh, man. So good.
It's possible that Superman would be like,
oh my God, Vinny Chase,
I love your movies.
I love Aquaman.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love, what's the,
I don't remember any of them.
The indie drama you did.
Yeah.
Queen's Boulevard.
That's what it's called.
I don't think if it,
if it's in the Entourage universe,
I don't think it would even escalate to a fight.
Would it be a neg-off?
Might be a neg-off.
Maybe Superman would kill Drama.
Hopefully.
No, you know what?
Drama would have brought a gun
and he'd attempt to put a couple of bullets in Superman
and he'd shoot himself.
He'd kill himself with a ricochet.
That's what I call Drama. Yeah, but then Vinny chase would win because he got the movie yeah that's true what
are they fighting for getting the movie that it would definitely be vinnie chase yeah that's right
he's had so many good movies and superman's barely had any good movies so few yeah what else you got
um
oh here's a good one this is from this from back and back and ali's got a lot of would you Um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um,
um, um, um, um, um, um.
Oh, here's a good one.
This is from, this is from back, back in Arley's got a lot of would you rathers.
All right.
Okay.
Let's say you're really hard up for cash.
You also live in a bad part of town.
You need to pick up a favor for your local street crime boss.
Would you rather be a freelance crime family associate to the Joker, Penguin, Two-Face,
the Court of Owls, or the Kingpin? Fre the kingpin freelance so they know you you work for them employ your services freelance though
so you're not indebted now maybe you're a henchman who would you rather be a henchman to
it's freelance yeah so you work for yeah it's work for who would you be more comfortable working
with who offers the cushier perks who comes with the least risk to your own life? I think if you didn't mess up, Kingpin wouldn't kill you.
Oh.
If you didn't mess up.
But if you did something slightly wrong, he'd slam your head in a cart.
Or if you expressed an emotion he didn't understand, he would kill you.
What were the options?
The Joker?
There's mostly DC.
Penguin?
I feel that would be pretty cushy.
Yeah, you'd be in a little club, wouldn't you?
Yeah, I think that'd be not bad.
You're not the greatest crime syndicate, are you?
Yeah.
But you're the least likely to kind of...
You've got to hang out at that iceberg lounge.
Yeah, you're not going to get gassed by a weird gas or whatever.
You're not going to...
Yeah.
He'd be like, you idiot!
Yeah.
You're such an idiot!
And you'd be like, he's up.
Yeah. Come on. Yeah. He's a killer, you idiot. Yeah. You're such an idiot. And you'd be like, he's up. Yeah.
Come on.
Yeah.
He's a killer, but he's not.
There's a Batman comic book from many years ago where he's talking.
It's at the end of the issue and he's gotten away scot-free and he's talking to one of
his henchmen.
And he's like, you know what?
I feel like boys.
And the guy's like, vindicated boss.
And he's like, no, you idiot.
Waffles.
Is that true?
Yeah.
Does Batman crash through the ceiling then? No, no. Oh, that's it. He gets away like no you idiot waffles is that true yeah does batman crash through the ceiling then no no oh that's it he gets away and he gets waffles yeah i know what that's the dream
two-face i feel two-face you would be mutilated almost instantly yeah like he'd be like you're
not exactly like me how about some acid yeah i'm gonna cut off half your face yeah right exactly
yeah uh quarter bells it's too weird. It's too weird in high society.
You'd probably be brainwashed.
I don't like it.
I don't like it.
You'd think you'd be working
for him as a team player,
but then it turns out
you're a brainwashed killer
all of a sudden.
You're like,
I'm fighting Batman.
I didn't sign up for this.
What's going on?
And then he'd beat you up
very severely.
You'd be at a weird
high society sex party
or something as well.
So I think it's Kingpin
or Penguin.
Yeah, great.
And I think Penguin
would be great. I think Penguin would be great.
I think Penguin would be more fun.
Kingpin is too loose.
Maybe he'd get you to just guard the warehouse
of all the weird giant props from the 60s.
Yeah, that's fine.
That'd be great.
Kingpin would be like,
Kingpin like stares at a wall for hours on end.
He's not right.
That's true.
I mean, neither is the Penguin, but...
I also think you'd have to kill more people
if you worked for the Kingpin. Yes. If you worked for the Penguin, he'd probably be like, neither is the penguin, but... I also think you'd have to kill more people if you worked for the kingpin.
Yes.
If you worked for the penguin, he'd probably be like,
give me those jewels, boys.
And then you would.
Yeah, you'd get those jewels.
And Batman would beat you up occasionally.
Yeah, that's right.
But I don't think...
But he'd never slam your head in a car door, because that's cruel.
Yeah, that's right.
That's exactly right.
Very good.
Yes.
What else have we got here?
Okay, what about this?
I think I know the answer to this, but this is from RJL.
Ultimatum, would you rather live in Game of Thrones,
in the Game of Thrones world or the Lord of the Rings world?
Ooh.
You could just retire to a nice countryside.
In Lord of the Rings, that's true, you could, yeah.
Game of Thrones, no matter where you are,
someone's going to cut your genital off.
Oh, I'm surrounded by all the books that I love.
He's going to die.
In the new season, he's going to burn to death in that library, that guy. He's going to cut your genital off. Oh, I'm surrounded by all the books that I love. He's going to die. In the new season, he's going to burn to death in that library, that guy.
He's going to die.
There's no kindness in the Game of Thrones universe.
But if you're surrounded by the books that you love in Lord of the Rings.
Even though they're on fire.
Even though they're on fire.
Well, I mean, like, you've probably been on an adventure.
That's true, yeah.
And now you just get to live out your life.
Smoking a pipe?
Yeah, just live out, like, Bilbo did an adventure,
lived out his life in peace.
Eating some cakes.
Eating some cakes.
Love to eat a cake.
Sing a song.
Yeah, sing a song.
Sing a song.
Have a little soiree in the village.
Celebrate your 11th birthday.
That's right, yeah.
Who's celebrating their 11th birthday in Game of Thrones?
Nobody.
Who's ever going to reach that age?
Nobody. Barely anyone hits 11. Yeah of Thrones? Nobody. Who's ever going to reach that age? Nobody.
Barely anyone hits 11.
Yeah, right?
Yeah.
That's not happening.
Do you remember that weird Ian McShane religious society that he built?
And then they all just got murdered for no reason.
Yeah, right?
Yeah.
You can just be hanging out at your bloody, just in your bloody regular green flame, blows
up, kills everybody, just hang it out.
There's no way you could have seen that coming.
And even if you're the Mountain,
the Hound, Jamie Lannister
or whatever, like you're one of the main players
and you're a good fighter, something terrible
is going to happen to you at any point.
Jon Snow died.
Spoiler alert.
How many Starks are dead? All of them.
Every now and then someone will just go into Winterfell
and just burn it to the ground for no reason.
Just kill all the ground staff and just start over.
No, it's a horrible place.
And you're like, well, maybe I could get away with it
by being the cruelest man in the universe.
You get eaten by your own dogs.
You can't even be the top dog because you'll be eaten by dogs.
That's right, yeah.
What, are you going to go over the wall into the snow?
I don't think so.
I'll just build a little snow hut.
Do you know those giant horse-sized spiders over that wall as well?
Wow.
It's a horrible place.
And even if there was no monsters, you live it in the fucking snow.
It's horrible. It's terrible. There's so no monsters, we're living in the fucking snow. It's horrible.
It's terrible.
There's so many nice places in the Lord of the Rings universe.
It's all exclusively nice.
Madness.
Madness.
Maybe that's a scenario of like,
who would you rather be fighting kind of thing.
But also I love magic too.
There's barely any magic in Game of Thrones.
There's barely any magic in Lord of the Rings.
There's heaps more magic though. I don't know if there is. There's worse magic in Game of Thrones. There's barely any magic in Lord of the Rings. There's heaps more magic, though.
I don't know if there is.
There's worse magic in Game of Thrones,
like weird, terrible things that can happen to you.
That's true.
So, yeah, it's 100%.
Yeah.
All right, what about...
You got any more?
Okay, so...
I can do a standard one.
What are we up to?
I have no idea because I've stopped and started this.
Okay, right.
Maybe we'll do one more each.
Okay, All right.
Wordner91 on Reddit would like to know who would win Jack Reacher or Ethan Hawke.
Wait, that says Ethan Hawke.
That can't be right.
Ethan Hawke.
Ethan Hunt.
No, let's make it Ethan Hawke.
All right.
Versus Ethan Hawke first.
What is Jack Reacher about?
I don't remember.
He's an all-American boy.
He's an all-American boy.
He's ex-Special Forces.
He loves diner food.
Ethan Hawke was in those beyond, before midnight, before sunset,
before whatever, sunrise.
Ethan Hawke was in White Fang.
He was in Reality Bites, wasn't he?
Yes, he was.
Surely.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah.
Let's make it, you know what, let's do a fun little twist.
Let's say it's Jack Reacher versus Ethan Hunt.
Okay, fine.
So presumably, well, I was going to say presumably it's Jack Reacher versus Ethan Hunt. Okay, fine. So presumably,
well, I was going to say presumably it's both
because they're both
Tom Cruise characters.
Yeah.
But if we're going to go
in his prime,
Jack Reacher should be
the version from the books
who is like six foot five.
I guess.
Yeah, yeah.
I suppose so, yeah.
Yeah.
And so they're not Tom,
so and versus,
but Ethan Hunt's trained.
Yes.
And he's probably got
some gadgets on. He's probably got at least some glasses that shoot a laser or trained. Yes, and he's probably got some gadgets on.
He's probably got at least some glasses that shoot a laser or something.
Maybe he's got those sticky gloves.
He could climb all over you.
He could climb on the goalpost.
That's right.
Get the high ground advantage.
Jack Reacher doesn't have gear.
No, but he's special forces.
Yeah.
Ex-special forces.
Yeah.
So who do you think would win hand-to-hand?
Ooh. I still think it might be Ethan Hunt. Yeah. Ex-Special Forces. Yeah. So who do you think would win hand-to-hand? Ooh.
I still think it might be Ethan Hunt.
Yeah.
Because he's got super spy training.
He's got, exactly.
He's got Special Forces plus everything else.
He's got Special Forces plus he can do one of those ones,
Black Widow style, where you leap up and you put your legs around their neck
and then you turn and then you flip them in the air.
And also, Ethan Hunt in his prime, he's flying around on motorcycles,
he's bulletproof.
That's true, yeah.
Yeah, he's indestructible.
So, no, it is.
And Jack Reacher, I guess, is...
And also, Ethan Hunt keeps up with his training.
Yeah, I guess that's true, yeah.
So if there's a new choke that's invented...
Yeah, he knows the new choke.
If a new choke was invented,
but Jack Reacher's been out of the game for so long,
if they made up a new choke in Special Forces...
He wouldn't know the new choke.... he wouldn't know what the choke was.
And you chop.
And you chop, yeah.
Nowadays we're chopping this way.
He's like, what?
What?
I know Jack Reacher could pick up a man with his bare hands
around the neck and break his neck.
Oh, wow.
But I don't think Ethan Hunt would let him.
Like he wouldn't get to that point.
I think it might get to that point
because you're not expecting anybody to be able to do that.
Yeah, I guess.
Yeah.
But then he'd have a gadget, I assume.
He'd have a gadget, yeah.
He's got a sticky glove.
He's probably got that sticky glove.
Pull out one of his eyes with it.
Yeah, that's probably true, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And they're both killers, probably.
I don't know much about Jack Reacher.
Yeah, they're definitely both killers, yeah.
Yeah.
I'm presuming Jack Reacher's the killer.
Do you want a standard one to finish with?
Yes.
Ben Affleck, Daredevil, Ben Affleck, Batman.
Oh.
Let me think about this for a second.
One's a killer.
They're both killers.
Both killers.
Yeah.
One's friends with Kevin Smith.
Yes.
I mean, both the actors are friends with Kevin Smith,
but only Daredevil is friends with Kevin Smith.
Or he's in that universe at the very least.
Batman's bulletproof. Yep. So or he's in that universe yes that's true batman's bulletproof
yep so presumably he's also punch proof yeah like a billy club batman gets shot point blank
in the back of the head and it does nothing he doesn't he doesn't even get rattled that's true
yeah he doesn't even do that he doesn't even do the daniel craig i've been rattled by this. No. He's also probably tougher.
Yeah.
Though Daredevil, Ben Affleck Daredevil, he's not armoured.
He's wearing a leather suit.
Yep.
Like every night he's coming back and he's pulling a broken tooth out of his head.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't think Daredevil has any chance in this situation.
And Batman has gadgets.
Yeah.
And I mean, the absolute best thing, Daredevil can, he can throw that,
he can shoot out the billy club grappling hook.
Yeah.
But then Batman just grabs it and reels him in.
Like it doesn't matter where this goes.
Do you remember that move from the Arkham games?
Yeah.
You could catch, you could pull him in with the grappling hook
and then hit him in the face.
Hit him in the face.
That's exactly how that would go.
He's exactly going to do that, yeah.
Yeah.
What else?
Does Radar Sense
build into this at any point?
I don't think it does.
I think he's won in the past
by hitting that.
I feel Daredevil in the past
has won by hitting the goalposts
with his billy club
and having some sort of
sonic situation happening.
But I don't think...
There's no advantage there.
And do you remember
in that Batman-Daredevil comic as well,
Batman's heart rate doesn't change.
So he can't even anticipate
what he's...
Going to do, right?
Yeah, in any way.
And also, I would assume that this Batman
has that heartbeat masking device.
Right, okay, yeah.
So...
This Batman's been around for a long time.
But even if he does know his heart rate,
to what end?
Exactly.
I'll hit him, I'll wait, he's punch-proof.
I'll throw the billy club, I'll use billy club proof.
He's caught it, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, he's carrying a machine gun.
He's firing the machine gun at my leather suit.
Oh, no.
I just remembered leather isn't bulletproof.
Yeah.
Batman would be a really good shot too.
Yeah.
I don't care how fast Daredevil is.
He's just a man.
He can anticipate where he's going to go.
Yeah, that's right.
He's probably got a computer in the bloody suit.
That's right.
Also, the lights are on so we can see him.
Maybe if Daredevil knocks out the lights, but That's right. Also the lights are on so we can see him. Maybe if Daredevil
knocks out the
lights but Batman's
got night vision.
So no.
Sorry.
What a fizzler to
finish.
What a fizzler eh?
I think comic book
Daredevil would be
that would be a much
more interesting
fight.
I agree.
But not Ben Affleck.
No.
Or even TV Daredevil.
Yeah totally yeah.
Because that version would not give up. No. He wouldn't. Hevil. Yeah, totally, yeah.
Because that version would not give up.
No, he wouldn't.
He'd fight forever. He'd be punching him in the mouth a lot.
That's how that would end.
It would end with Charlie Cox Daredevil just punching Batman in his mouth hole
a whole bunch of times.
He'd probably go the tongue rip.
Yeah, he would.
He probably would, yeah.
He'd be like, well, I've got no other options.
I'm doing this.
But my radar sense can see this one gap here here and there's a sweet old tongue in there
rip out yeah yeah all right that'll do it then that'll do it i think yeah you know what it's
time for mason what's the time for what are we reading oh what we gonna read i'm doing the thing
what are we reading today what have you been reading?
What have you been reading?
Well, Mason, as I said earlier,
when we had to pause for our standard waffle break,
which I worry will become a regular segment of this show,
I bought Sniper Elite 4.
I've always wanted to play the Sniper Elite games,
and now I have the newest one.
You know, it's just a good, standard, bloody snipering game.
You saw a bit of it.
What did you think?
Yeah, it looked really good.
It's fun.
There's some great x-ray kills.
Yep.
When you kill a man.
You can stealth about.
Yep.
You saw me blow up that tank.
I saw that.
That was exciting.
No, I like the gadgets.
I like the setting.
The story's just like, get a document kill a nazi or whatever i didn't see much of a plot going on it's fine it doesn't
matter i'm glad there isn't you know so many games you start and there's just like 40 minutes
of exposition yep and you have to walk around the village and talk to everybody and yeah and
whatever horizon zero dawn which i did end liking, but why are you doing that?
But no, it's good.
The other thing I want to... I mentioned this on Twitter the other day.
It looks like we may...
There's a chance we're getting some GameStop sponsorship.
Right, okay.
I want to float that with people.
Like, we don't have them here.
We have EB.
Yep.
And is that, like...
Is that a company that people like?
Who knows?
We don't have them.
I think EB, though though is owned by GameStop
as far as I know
and they're fine, right?
Yeah, so get some good stuff
from EB.
Let's put that out there.
So I don't know
if that happens.
Are people okay with that,
I guess?
Well, we'll soon find out,
won't we?
Yeah.
So let us know
if you care or say nothing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
But if we do do it,
we'll hopefully organise,
maybe we can organise
an offer code or something.
Yeah, totally. I don't know. I don't know how anything works. What have we can organize an offer code or something. Yeah, totally.
I don't know.
I don't know how anything works.
What have I been reading this week?
I don't know, Mason.
I'm not a bloody mind reader, am I?
I can't read your mind.
What have I been reading?
Oh, you know what?
Something that I forgot to mention last week is I was on the final live episode of Do Go On
during the Comedy Festival, so that's out now.
Yes.
Matt does a report.
Wait, no.
Dave did a report on the Loch Ness Monster
Dave's reports
are the best one
according to Matt and Jess
that's what they say
that's fair enough
so I'm on that
so everybody should
give that a listen
and you know what
straight after this
I'm going to go over
to our friends
over at Stupid Old Studios
and I'm going to record
an episode of
Two in the Think Tank
which I think I've mentioned
on this show before
many many months ago
it's on the network
yeah it's on the Planet broadcasting network so i that it's
alan andy yeah two friends of mine and every week they attempt to produce five sketch ideas
or seven if the first five aren't very good uh and maybe that'll happen this time because i'm
going to be on the next episode i think you don't know how to write sketch i've never written a
sketch in my life that's awesome no that's a good show all right that's really good so if you want
if guys if anybody out there wants to start giving that a listen it's a real yeah it's very real
very fun show yeah like i said i think i said a while back i was moving house and they kept me
sane while i was uh moving a lot of boxes they followed you around they followed me around
pitching sketch ideas like there's no time for sketches can you lift the couch nah nah yeah yeah
oh also i should mention with that GameStop thing,
there will also be sponsorship for the other podcasts as well.
Yeah, cool.
So other people can have money.
Nice.
Which is nice.
That is good, isn't it?
In addition to us.
Spread the wealth.
That's what I say.
We're rich enough, aren't we, Mason?
We've made enough money from podcasting.
We can comfortably retire.
What?
What?
One of us has made enough money.
What?
I don't want to say who.
What?
Where we can comfortably retire.
What?
No, that's not the case.
Anyway, that's good.
Okay.
Two great podcasts.
What else have I been reading?
I played the DL.
We saw Guardians of the Galaxy 2.
We did.
Which isn't out in America yet.
Yeah, we'll talk about it next week.
Spoiler alert.
Oh, what we should.
It's a good film.
It's a great film, yeah.
We also should mention we've actually, we've done a commentary.
Yes. We did a Guardians of the Galaxy Volume good film. It's a great film, yeah. We also should mention we've actually done a commentary. Yes.
We did a Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 1 commentary.
It's on the Bandcamp.
You can check it out there.
I'll link it below.
And also if you're a Patreon member, it's on there as well.
So if you donate any amount of money, it's there automatically.
Also, if you don't want to pay anything,
you can also play it for free at the Bandcamp.
That being said, it's been known to desync,
so you can chuck in a couple of bucks
or whatever it is and yeah that won't happen i don't do whatever yeah it doesn't matter you can
always just fiddle with the little scroll wheel that's fine yeah okay totally just bloody put it
on your phone and bloody stick your earbuds in and yeah watch it on netflix so we find a really
good time with that one it's a good fun film it's not on netflix site or here it is and i checked
okay right so i had to get a digital copy mason. I wasn't happy about it. No. I was not impressed.
No.
All right.
Letters.
It's time for letters.
Oh, yeah, it's time for letters.
You haven't even Googled it, have you?
No, I have.
It's ready to go.
Oh, he's very good.
Did you tee it up during your waffle break?
Yes.
I can't talk during this.
No talking.
No talking during the letters thing.
This is the rule of the show that you are here to.
Yes.
Rules are rules, man.
Are they?
Yeah.
You never specifically said no waffle breaks.
That's true.
And it's too late to put it in.
That's true.
Yeah.
What do we got here?
So if you want to send an email to the show, Mason's all over the Gmail.
That's right.
Weeklyplanetpod at gmail.com.
If you also hashtag weekly planet pod on twitter
we'll do a maybe an email or two or one or however many we do it a couple of bloody tweets and a
handshake and a goodbye uh-huh you want to do your letter first okay here's a letter okay i don't know
if you've heard this i don't know if it's real i don't know if he's made it up all right but it's
been sent to us from james mc, who again might be pulling our leg.
Seems legit.
James McGee does sound like a made-up name.
Doesn't it, though?
It sounds like a play on your name.
Yes.
I'm going to assume this isn't true,
but they've gone to some effort here.
So the subject line says,
Woody Harrelson and his pesky prunes.
Okay.
And it says he has an intriguing story about the new Han Solo solo movie that involves Woody Harrelsonson and his pesky prunes. Okay. And it says he has an intriguing story about the new Han Solo solo movie
that involves Woody Harrelson.
And his pesky prunes.
And his prunes.
Who's eating prunes?
He says he knows someone working on the set.
Okay.
Okay.
So a trainee runner on set was tasked with getting Woody some prunes
during a break on set.
But he didn't want regular prunes.
He wanted organic prunes. So the trainee runner goes to the store to get some prunes during a break on set but he wanted it didn't want regular prunes he wanted organic prunes so the training
runner goes to the store to get some
prunes the regular prunes not organic
prunes just to be clear there is no inside
information concerning the movie itself
this is all prune related yeah yeah yeah
yeah Woody bites into one and then
spits it out after looking at the
package and he's like he it says Woody refused to act until he had his organic prunes and an apology.
Halted a whole day of shooting.
A whole day?
Oh, yep.
This is a wild tale.
This is a real wild tale.
Is there any way we can get this confirmed?
Well, if we could.
How?
I don't know.
There's no phones on set.
Last deal.
Yeah.
He's got some insider information.
Okay. The incident has been dubbed pr no phones on set. Last deal. Yeah. He's got some insider information. Okay.
The incident has been dubbed Prune Gate on set.
Well, yeah.
It wouldn't be called Woody Gate because who knows what that's about.
It could be anything.
Yeah.
All right.
Do you think that story's true?
You know what?
Anything out of any weird actor shit, I'm usually like,
there must be a shred of truth to that.
Right, exactly.
Yeah. I mean, maybe it wasn't a whole day.
I don't know, but sure.
Yeah.
I reckon elements of that is probably true.
Sure, right.
Yeah.
Woody Harrelson's probably been in the same room with a prune at some point in his life.
Also, he's a pretty...
Or he's always refused to be in the same room with a prune.
Maybe that's how the rumor started. He's also one of those guys, he's been in very good's never or he's always refused to be in the same room with a prune maybe that's how the rumour started
he's also one of those guys
he's been in very good shape
for his age
right
you'd think he'd be
like a hard drinking
kind of dude
but I reckon he's all
yoga and whole foods
and all that kind of stuff
you'd think maybe
he's learned some stuff
from McConaughey
but potentially yes
because they did do
the movie Ed TV together
that's true yeah
so
do you think Ed TV
and True Detective
are set in the same universe
yeah absolutely 100 so what you're saying what you're saying then is there's two people there's
four people in the ed tv true detective universe there's two people who have identical twins yeah
so separated at birth separated at birth so and two have become hard-boiled detectives brought
into a horrific world of murder and secrets and the other two work on some sort of reality television show.
No, they're brothers.
And one of them becomes a reality TV star.
So they're all brothers?
No, I think...
So there's four brothers.
I think what's happening is...
What you're saying is there's four brothers.
There's not four brothers.
But it's two sets of identical twins.
No, there's two Woody Harrelsons and two McConaugheys, right?
Yes.
And they're two sets of twins.
But they were switched out at birth,
and for some reason a Woody Harrelson and a McConaughey's, right? Yes. And they're two sets of twins, but they were switched out at birth.
And for some reason,
a Woody Harrelson and a McConaughey were put together in the same family
in the Ed TV-iverse.
Great.
And in the True Detective universe,
they were both raised by separate families,
but they're not related.
Okay.
Story checks out.
It's very good.
It's good thinking on your feet there.
I like it.
All right.
I'm happy with that.
This is from Ben.
Also, thanks for our friend Levin's
for our erotic fan fiction
that he put up on his Twitter page.
You prick, you dog.
Have you seen-
Very on brand.
Totally.
Yeah, absolutely.
Have you seen the movie?
Sorry.
Who's this from?
Sorry, this is from Ben.
This is from Guardians of the Galaxy.
So having now seen the movie,
do you think Pacino would have been a good choice for
oh i saw that tweet as well yeah no no awful 100 i'm really i'm i'm glad that james gunn
rejected our we we said that under the assumption that ego would purely be a big planet with a face
yes and pacino would obviously be the best choice for that that That's right. Yeah, so. But in the movie that we saw,
if you had him as Ego as presented in that movie,
it would have been a terrible decision.
Yeah.
They don't look, I mean, from the trailers,
we know that they're father and son.
Yep.
They look nothing alike.
The height discrepancies.
Yeah.
Can you imagine?
Even Pacino in space doesn't work, does it?
Right, yeah.
At all.
Yeah.
James Gunn, if you're listening, we know you're not.
We apologize.
Yeah.
You know what?
I don't apologize.
No, I don't.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry we harassed you that time.
We've got to think of another director to harass.
We'll find one.
Who have we harassed?
We've harassed Ben McKenzie.
Yep.
To the point of where he mentioned the mustache thing.
Yes.
For Gotham.
We harassed James Gunn. Yeah. I think it's time for a new one. We've got to think of that. We'll think of one. to the point of where he mentioned the mustache thing for Gotham.
We harassed James Gunn.
I think it's time for a new one.
We've got to think about that.
If anybody can think of a fun director or actor that we can harass,
let us know.
Yes.
WeeklyPlanetPod at gmail.com.
But it can't be like,
hey, Michael Bay, you're a dickhead and you suck and all your movies are terrible.
Someone not deserving of harassment, if you could let us know.
Yeah, a fun jab.
Who's a good sport.
Who's a good sport.
All right, what about this one?
This is from Salam.
Who do you think is going to be the big bad after Avengers Infinity War?
How do you get someone more dangerous threatening than Thanos?
Someone on Twitter, I don't know if in front of me, said,
mark my words, like, secret wars is going to come come after Infinity War, which would be kind of cool.
But who do you go?
Do you go another big bad again?
Do you pit villain, do you pit hero against hero again?
I think you go smaller.
I think you do, yeah.
I think you go Earth-based again.
I think we discussed it when we talked about Phase 4 with Levens a couple weeks ago.
But also, when they talk, I'm sure I've seen more stuff like James Gunn is in charge of
like Phase 4 of the universe
is going to be a lot of space stuff.
Okay.
So it's going to be real cosmic.
Yeah.
So I think we might just get like more like Nova's and Nova and Adam Warlock and whatever,
maybe a Galactus because there's some characters in, I won't spoil it, in Guardians of the Galaxy 2, which makes me think, did they get Galactus and Silver Surfer and Fantastic Four back?
Yeah, there's some characters in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 that I was like, I didn't even think they still owned those characters.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying, Mason.
Did I say the first one?
I meant the second one.
No.
Whatever.
But I agree with you.
So, I don't know.
But we also, if you do Thanos and cosmic,
who's more dangerous than Thanos in the cosmic universe?
That's true.
Because there are more powerful beings.
The Kree?
Not really.
See, there are more powerful beings.
Like Galactus is more powerful than Thanos technically.
Yeah.
But he isn't out to destroy the whole universe.
No.
He's out to destroy,
he's out to eat a planet every once in a while
so he can not die. Yeah. So he's not more universe. No. He's out to destroy a... He's out to eat a planet every once in a while so he can not die.
Yeah.
So that's not...
He's not more dangerous.
No.
And there are bigger beings
like Celestials
and concept characters
like Eternity
or what have you.
Yeah.
But, yeah,
they're not threats.
They just exist
kind of thing.
Yeah, that's it.
I don't know.
Somebody suggested that...
Somebody suggested... Hello, Claire. It's a way to sneak in she snuck in yeah well you're almost excited if it wasn't for us pesky kids in this damn dog
um uh someone suggested i think on twitter that in there's a there's a you know there was that
behind the scenes footage for Infinity War
and it's Captain America
it's Robert Downey Jr.
and Tom Holland and
Peter Quill on set
and
Tom Holland's wearing a big
old coat, you can't see what he's wearing
some people said black suit
so maybe we are going to some sort of suit
nod your heads Mason, black suit's coming so maybe there's some sort of suit. Nod your heads, Mason. Black suits coming.
So maybe that's how he gets a black suit temporarily?
I think, yeah.
I think they're definitely going to do the black suit.
But then again, isn't Spider-Man could be leaving the MCU?
Yeah, right.
So who knows?
Well, maybe that's a fun send-off.
I don't know.
Don't do it though, Sony.
But I think, I reckon they should, maybe can we do a smaller scale space thing?
Like set on some remote space outpost?
Would you like to see like one of the Avengers just bang about with the Guardians?
Yes.
Because another thing James Gunn said, by the time Guardians 4 rolls around, he wants a
completely different team.
Right, okay.
So we might be getting, you know, like a, maybe not Tony Stark.
Well, he's been in the Guardians of the Galaxy in the comic books.
So maybe to be like him and Gamora.
He's got that space armor that they wasted in Iron Man 3.
Yeah, exactly.
That'd be real nice.
So what are you going to do about it?
Fellas and fallowettes.
Ladies.
All right, I'll do one more tweet.
Why not?
This is a thing that we love to talk about.
It's from Dusty.
If you could travel back to the 1950s and show them one old time,
the old time as one movie, what would it be? Because we maintain that if you went back to the 1950s and show them one old time the old time as one movie
what would it be because we maintain that if you went back to the past of like the earlier days of
cinema and showed them a modern day film yeah like it would kill somebody absolutely they'd
have a seizure they'd die of fright like it's shown like transformers 4 and their eyes would
explode that that remake of the wolfman yeah was it anthony hopkins yeah that's right but i reckon
you could even show them the the Wolfman one from the 80s,
the American Werewolf.
Oh, yeah, that would kill them too.
Because that's visceral and terrifying.
That last 15 minutes is terrifying, yeah.
What movie, though, would you want to take back?
Oh, maybe Guardians 1.
What about Scott Pilgrim?
Yeah, okay, great.
That would be insane.
Wow.
Yeah.
Or even, yeah, I think anything Edgar Wright.
I think if he did like any of his trilogy.
Yeah, because they start out normal-ish.
Yeah, and then it's just madness.
And they become chaos very quickly.
Especially the alien one.
Yeah.
You'd be like, what is this?
That's true.
Because they start out, because first of all,
they'd have to get used to this modern world.
Yeah.
And it's already moving too fast.
And as soon as they just finally get,
they finally like get into gear with this weird modern-day universe,
all of a sudden, they're fighting weird robot aliens in a toilet or whatever.
That's right, yeah.
People's heads are coming off.
Yeah, and there was alien films, but it's like,
the slow-moving alien from Planet 57 or whatever.
And it's just like a big robot shooting lasers at a clock tower or something.
I do.
Yeah, but this is like smashing people's heads open like eggs.
It's nuts.
Yeah.
So yeah, let's say that one.
Yeah.
Or the thing.
Yeah, the thing.
Because that's quite slow moving.
Yeah.
And they know what arctic outposts are.
And then a dog's head splits open.
Yeah, the thing. I'm going to go with the thing. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Good call. Thing's such a good movie. I'd end up in jail. moving yeah and they know what arctic outposts and then a dog's head splits open yeah yeah yeah
all right good call things such a good i'd end up in jail jail you would all right that's the
show for this week we did it next week we'll be talking guardians if you have opinions guardians
of the galaxy galaxy if you have opinions put them out on our twitter opinions keep me yourself
yeah we don't care mate nah tell us We'll read it a few next week.
Tell us on Weekly
Planet Pod on Gmail
and Facebook and
Twitter and Bandcamp.
Yes.
The Galaxy Volume 1
commentary is out there
right now.
Check it out.
You can find me at
Wikipedia Brown on
Twitter.
I'm at Mr. Sunday
Movies.
There's also the
at of the Weekly
Planet on Twitter.
That's right.
If you'd like to
donate to support
the show, you can
go to patreon.com
slash Mr. Sunday
Movies.
T-shirts on T-Public.
T-Public.
There's an Amazon affiliate link in the episode description. Click through if you go to patreon.com slash mr sunday movies uh t-shirts on t public public there's an amazon affiliate link in the episode description click through if you want to buy
the thing on 4k blu-ray and send it back in time somehow yes uh we'll buy it on reel-to-reel
whatever you want man yeah uh tears on t public uh special shout out it's not an official t-shirt
but if you go to red bubble and you look up scribe designs uh s S-C-R-Y-V-E, a friend at Scribe Designs has made us some Weekly Planet,
like Ram Skull T-shirt designs.
They're very cool.
I'm going to get one with my own face on it.
What do you reckon about that?
That's narcissistic.
I know.
I know.
But not surprising, is it?
No, not at all.
Not at all.
Yeah.
Cool.
That's the lot.
Thank you, everybody, for subscribing and listening and liking and emailing and bloody giving us a review. but not surprising is it no not at all not at all yeah cool that's a lot thank you everybody
for subscribing
and listening
and liking
and emailing
and bloody
giving us a review
yeah
yeah
if you're watching this
on YouTube
bloody give us a bloody
thumbs up
and a subscribe
subscribe
that's how that works
the more thumbs up you get
if you see me in real life
give me a thumbs up
I met some nice people
I've met them all the time
I met them at the Filthy Casuals live show.
I met a couple of people at the Hawthorne Pub the other day.
Oh, very good.
Yeah.
Okay.
The Nevermind Bar.
Did you get some thumbs ups?
Yeah, I got thumbs ups.
Good.
Excellent.
Yeah, nice.
How do they equate to?
I met a guy in Melbourne Central train station.
Really?
Yeah.
Did he know the show?
Yeah.
Oh, really?
Yeah, that's the twist.
That's the twist.
Very good.
All right, guys, thanks for listening.
We'll see you next week.
Grab that gem, you guys.
Bye.
This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network.
Visit planetbcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates.
I mean, if you want.
It's up to you.