The Weekly Planet - 247 Best & Worst Jason Statham Movies
Episode Date: August 13, 2018The Meg is out and we haven’t seen it so we talk about the filmography of Jason Statham. Plus we discuss the new Batwoman, Supergirl getting a film, Star Trek 4 troubles, movies for The Simpsons and... Family Guy, James Gunn and Marvel more news of that, X-men Dark Phoenix, Cowboy Ninja Viking, the net Bond an the Oscars continuity to be crap and who cares.0:00 The start of the show1:48 Ruby Rose is Batwoman7:56 Supergirl movie is happening13:10 Star Trek 4 stalled17:41 Star Wars TV news21:48 Simpsons and Family Guy movies24:46 James Gunn back at Marvel?26:52 X-Men update but who cares28:19 Venom universe news32:15 Cowboy Ninja Viking delayed33:07 Next Bond News35:01 The Oscars controversy43:32 Jason Statham Movies1:26:46 What We Reading/What We Gonna Read1:30:30 Letters It’s Time For LettersBuy The Meg on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2OwpR3lThe Weekly Planet YouTube Channel: https://goo.gl/1ZQFGH Find our T-Shirts here: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/mr-sunday-movies Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Red hot comic book movie news. Shooting up your bowl.
The Weekly Planet. The Weekly Planet. Welcome back everybody to another episode of The Weekly Planet
where we talk movies and comics and TV shows.
My name is James, also known as Mr. Sunday.
With me as always is my co-host Nick Mason.
Ah, it's good to be here.
Is it?
Yes.
Wait, what?
I don't know.
It is.
It is good to be here.
You know it is.
You're ceremonially removing your denim jacket with a Sherpa in the middle.
When I put on my podcasting voice yeah
I suddenly feel like
you know I'm doing
work you have many
different podcasting
voices though you have
this one yeah you're
operating with now
yep yep and you also
have one like if we do
a promo yes it's more
like hey I do have
that one yeah I think
I started doing I did
it ironically but now
I just do it yeah
same I did well not
that specifically but
I I started calling people bro ironically ironically but now i just do it yeah same i did well not that specifically but i i started calling people bro ironically yeah now it's unironic hey bro i don't think
you've ever called me bro do you not consider me your bro oh you're more like my dad i'm younger
than you yeah well you know no i get it but you're an old soul i're an old soul. I'm an old soul. And I look really old. Yes.
You're an old soul with an old face, you know?
Wait, wait, wait.
You're an old soul with a face of an old soul, of a shoe.
Just been trot on all day.
It's got that hole in it.
You know, water gets in.
See the sock?
You've filled it in with newspaper.
It's still getting damp.
Winter's coming.
Look out.
What is this podcast about?
Good question.
Well, we talk movies and comics and TV shows.
I think I said that up top.
But we've got a first bit of news here.
And it's for Ruby Rose being cast as Batwoman.
Yeah.
When I first saw this, I presumed it was the movie.
A movie, right?
Same.
But it's a CW show, right?
Yeah, it's going into the Arrowverse.
It kind of surprised me that...
I guess she's in that in-between famousness.
Oh, you're going to say
you're surprising
she's stooped so low
as to go to the TV.
Well, she does TV.
I wouldn't say,
I wouldn't call it stooping.
I just,
she's,
they normally take kind of
more generic-ish people.
More like,
I see what you're saying.
I wouldn't say generic-ish people.
I know, it's not nice.
But I would say like
more rising stars.
Yeah, right.
Like they'll get an unknown and they'll put them in the in the they won't get somebody who's
already uh like our felicity was it was an unknown yeah actress uh-huh and now she's you know people
bloody love it they love allicity or whatever the thing's going on there don't they uh-huh yeah yeah
yeah but i think i mean this will get eyes on the series oh for sure yeah i mean even if she drops
out of it yeah even if she's like actually not for me when she might because apparently i think she she quit twitter this week there well there
was a lot of backlash which was weird i saw one tweet was like another bloody feminist person you
know oh yes yeah lesbian being cast in but it's batwoman she's been a lesbian what the fuck do
you she's been a lesbian since her reintroduction in, you know, 10 years ago or whatever, or 15 years or something.
It's bizarre to have that react.
Who do you want to be cast?
Yeah, right?
I don't understand.
What's the alternative?
Just don't do it.
Batman.
Just a man as Batwoman.
Okay, yeah, fair enough.
When are we getting a Batwoman who's a man, you know?
It's about time.
You know what I mean?
I think she'd be good.
Yeah, I agree.
Yeah. I didn't think I was really be good. Yeah, I agree. Yeah.
I didn't think I was really like a huge fan, but then I see her pop up in things.
We haven't seen the Meg.
People will know that from the title.
She's in the Meg, sure.
But she was, I liked her in that Triple X movie.
Yeah, she was fun in that.
She's in John Wick 2.
She's in John Wick 2, yeah.
She's good in that.
Yeah, so Australian.
Australia's own.
Australia's own.
Good hair.
Great hair.
Yeah. How does she do it? What's her secret? Is it an oil? What is it? I think it. Australia's own. Good hair. Great hair.
How does she do it?
What's her secret?
Is it an oil?
What is it?
I think it's a straightener.
It's probably Australian oil.
It could be some oil also.
I think there's an oil. I don't know.
She's got versatile hair.
I wish I had hair like that.
Me too.
What a life we'd live.
Maybe we'd be cast as Batwoman.
Finally.
I mean, about time.
Yeah.
Speaking of DC, though, we'll move into the world of movie news. I'm ready. Don't mind Mason. Okay. Finally. I mean, about time. Yeah. Speaking of DC, though, we'll move into the world of movie news.
I'm ready.
Mind mason.
Okay.
Finally.
I was getting a little sick of stooping to TV news, but all right.
Here we go.
The big legs.
We're back in.
The big legs.
The Birds of Prey movie that's going to be the Harley Quinn and everybody's in it.
I think this one might happen.
You gave a very...
What's the word?
I was going to say suspicious.
It was cynical. I was skeptical. Skeptical, cynical look when I said that. I word? I was going to say suspicious. It was cynical.
I was skeptical, certainly.
Skeptical, cynical look when I said that.
I think this one's going to happen.
It was more that you were indicating
that this is the big leagues
and it doesn't feel like the big leagues.
It's like a Robbie movie.
Yeah, right.
That's the big leagues.
The villain's going to be Black Mask, apparently,
which we haven't seen cinematically.
Pretty good.
We've seen a bit of...
We've seen his dad in Gotham.
Do you remember that?
Right, okay.
He made everybody in an office shoot each other or gotham do you remember that right he made everybody
in an office shoot each other or something do you remember no the sionis corporation huh no i don't
remember yeah he's some in some weird cult or whatever okay where you make everyone shoot
themselves wait in the tv show yeah in the tv show okay right now i missed that episode yeah
slash season yes but you probably did on the first season yeah okay so who who would be a good who do
you think would be a good cast who do you think would be a good casting for Black Mask?
I think Statham would be a good casting.
I was just going to say, I think maybe...
That's head shape, I believe.
His head might be too big for the mask.
For the mask.
He's got the mask on top.
You need somebody with a very trim head.
Yeah.
Who's got that...
You need somebody with a matchstick-shaped and sized head.
Tobey Maguire.
No, sorry, the other Spider-Man. Oh, Topher Grace? No, the other Spider-Man. Andrew Garfield. You need somebody with a matchstick-shaped and sized head. Tobey Maguire.
No, sorry, the other Spider-Man.
Oh, Topher Grace?
No, the other Spider-Man.
Andrew Garfield.
Now, that head's way too big.
What are you talking about? That's a monstrous head.
That's all hair, mate.
You've been misled.
I've been tricked.
Yeah, all right.
He has a matchstick head.
No, I don't know.
What about a Luke Evans?
Not old enough, I don't think.
I think he needs experience.
I think he needs to be-
He's under the mask, mate.
Luke Evans must be 40.
He'd have to be close if he's not.
Okay.
Give him a chance, mate.
If you're listening, Luke Evans, and you're under 40,
and you're offended by this, email in.
Let us know.
He's got to be 40-something.
Yeah, he'd have to be.
Yeah, I don't know.
I think Statham would be a good black mask.
But this is a villain.
We've seen him in video games a lot,
and he showed up in Gotham, as we both know.
We both saw that, where they made everyone shoot each other in an office or whatever. You remember seen him in video games a lot. He showed up in Gotham, as we both know. We both saw that,
where they made everyone shoot each other in an office or whatever.
Yeah, right, right, right.
It was a good episode.
But I think this is a...
You know, he's in the Arkham games or whatever.
He's coming up.
Sure, for sure.
We're not just getting another The Joker or whatever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
I mean, there's already two of them, so...
At least.
Not including the ones on TV or whatever's going on ah yeah
it's good to have some fresh face i'd like to see a a villain from maybe one of the joel schumacher
movies i'd love to see a good mr freeze same exactly or a good poison ivy even like that
bane yeah like that mr like that if you can imagine like Mr. Freeze sort of via like Mike Mignola,
that kind of like, that kind of gothic looking Mr. Freeze.
Just do the Heart of Ice story.
Yeah, with the bloody riveted suit and the big fishbowl helmet.
Like the Art Deco kind of situation.
Who do you put in the suit?
Jason Statham.
Yeah, but it's too big for a bowl.
Yeah, it's true.
You need, what do you need?
What kind of head do you need for that?
You need...
You need a dome shape.
You need a man with a head the size of a small handful of popcorn, you know?
It's left at the bottom with some unpopped kernels.
Okay, yeah.
Because it's got to be amplified by the bowl, right?
By the bowl, yeah.
Okay, I get you.
I'd love to see a good version of Mr. Freeze.
How about the Dean from Community?
Yes. He's too funny
I reckon he could
I've never seen him do a dramatic role
But I think he probably has it in him
Is there a mean version of him
Like an actor who's a mean
Like Moby
Is Moby the mean Dean
No I think Moby is relatively nice
I think But I've relatively nice, I think.
Okay, cool.
Yeah, but I've not seen him in much.
Yeah, yeah.
Would you see him in a fishbowl?
Yeah.
No, no, no, no.
Yeah, fair enough.
There's not much movie stuff since the soundtrack to The Beach, I'd imagine.
Very true.
As to my knowledge.
Do you still want more DC movie news?
I hope so, Mason.
All right, God.
Get it over with.
Rip the Band-Aid off.
Warner Brothers are apparently developing a supergirl movie huh she wasn't in that pod apparently on uh oh she wasn't in the pod well remember that of steel man of steel there's a
prequel comic i think it that's obviously not canon but it all right we've talked about this
it arrived thousands of years in the past and yes the open pod that you see in man of steel was supergirl supergirl right but now it isn't no but she's she still exists though
well none of the continuity in those movies count that's true yeah so yeah great do we have any
other plot details i think that's pretty much it uh they're working towards it just a just another
one just throw it on there why not yeah this one I want to see though, because I don't think this character,
I mean,
it's just doing well on TV.
Yeah.
Maybe.
It seems to be.
I watched the old episode from now and then,
and it seems pretty good.
Okay, cool.
But the movie is atrocious.
I was going to say,
what if it's a shot for shot remake of the one from the 80s?
Do you need it shot for shot?
Yes.
Okay.
Yeah.
That's wise and all.
There's a lot. You see a lot of wires in that.
The end she fights a dragon
and a sorceress
or maybe they're the same thing
or something.
I don't know.
I don't really remember.
I get that and How the Duck Confused.
Yeah, I don't remember.
I think I had the,
either myself or my sister
had the read-along book
of the Supergirl movie,
which I think came with a record.
Oh, so good.
Yeah.
What did you do with the record?
I don't know.
I've been cleaning out my old childhood bedroom.
Yeah.
And I've been digging out all sorts of just old.
Trash.
Yeah, a lot of trash.
A lot of Transformers, a lot of Robocop trading cards.
Are you finding that it's just stuff as you've gotten older
piled on top of your younger stuff?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Oh, it's an FHM because you used to read them. And then it's a Mad magazine. Yeah, for sure. And then it's your younger stuff. Yeah, oh yeah, absolutely. So you're like, oh, it's an FHM because you used to read them.
And then it's a mad magazine.
Yeah, for sure.
And then it's your Transformers or whatever.
And then it's FHM again.
What's going on there?
Time is cyclical.
It sure is.
What have you found?
No, you've put a few on Instagram.
Yeah, look, I found all my...
Well, I had a shelf of all my good Transformers.
So there's like several Optimus Primes,
including Power Master Optimus Prime, obviously.
Is that the newer one?
No, that's an old one.
Okay.
Did you buy a newer, newer one?
I have a masterpiece Optimus Prime,
different Transformers.
I found an Ultra Magnus,
my Megatron and my Galvatron, obviously.
The ones that turn into a gun?
Yeah.
That's the original.
The OG one that turns into a gun.
What's the condition like? Good. I mean, not worth anything, gun? Yeah. That's the original. The OG one, the turn into a gun. What's the condition like?
Good.
I mean, not worth anything, obviously.
Yeah.
But pretty good.
Yeah, but what about the toys?
What about you?
I don't know.
I don't think I tied that in enough for that to make sense.
No, I know how that worked.
No, no, I get it.
People, yeah.
There was silence because you were stunned.
I was stunned you made a joke.
Yeah, what else did I have?
I got my Hot Rod and my Rodimus Prime.
Obviously, they were there.
None of these are boxed, I assume, either.
No, why would they be?
Because you weren't one of those kids.
Yeah.
I was one of those kids initially who wouldn't even take the stickers off the sticker sheet
and put them on the Transformers.
So I'm like, ooh.
Because they never look good eventually.
They always come off.
Yeah.
Why do they do stickers?
What is that? Is it like an Ikea thing so you get a sense of ownership? Yeah yeah that's true i don't like it yeah so when a bully snaps it in half you feel really bad
about it well yeah were you one of those kids who took toys to school no you know there'd be the i
remember there's a kid who bought like a what's the boom sound we had like a working sound wave
and i'm like if i had that i would never bring i have said yeah there was a sound wave as well yeah right yeah and assorted tapes and that and it
works right i think it's an actual oh no the one the original one is just tapes it's just the
transforming tapes but uh the i think there was a more recent one that actually is also an mp3
player right right i think yeah mp3 player remember those those? I vaguely. Yeah.
Those are days.
Yeah.
Oh, I also saw you found your Robocop trading cards.
I did.
And my Batman Returns trading cards.
There's very little foxing on those trading cards.
Very little.
There's some foxing on the one where the guy drives his truck into the vat of toxic waste and he melts.
There's some foxing on that one.
But I think that adds to the authenticity of being melted by toxic waste.
Definitely.
Why would you put that on a kid's trading card because that's who's collecting
it isn't it really yeah right yeah unless they were your dads were they they were not my dads
anyway good luck with supergirl thank you also i had cyclonus and scourge what are those guys
again transformers the movie they were the bad guys which one in uh they were the purple the
purple guy and the blue guy okay so
so in the
in the battle of Autobot City
a lot of the Decepticons
are destroyed
I'm sorry
you're not talking about
the new ones
the new movies
okay
I need to say these
okay right
Cyclonus
yes
and Scourge
they're a package deal
a package deal
a couple of friends
anyway
Unicron rebuilds a couple of the old Transformers into these guys.
Oh, I know these guys.
You know those guys.
They're not in the new movies at all, are they?
No.
That's right.
Do you remember who he builds them from?
I want to say Skywarp and an Insecticon.
You want to say that, but what are you going to say?
That's what I'm actually going to say.
Okay, cool.
Excellent.
Anyway, if you want to see a middle-aged man slowly unraveling
while looking at all his old childhood toys,
just check out my Instagram.
That's it.
It's on there.
Chris Pine and Chris Hemsworth, two of the best Chris's working.
They've apparently walked away from negotiations for Star Trek 4.
They're locked in.
They're locked into contracts.
They're owed a certain amount of money, apparently.
Must be bloody nice.
That's what I'm saying.
To not do anything and get paid for it.
So apparently, because the last one didn't do super well financially,
very well received.
Which is a shame.
It's a good movie.
Did we talk about how Simon Pegg wrote that?
I had no idea.
Yeah, you did.
Okay, right.
We probably mentioned it.
Probably talked about it at length.
Is it important whether we acknowledge what people did or didn't do? Nah. Nah, he did. Okay, right. We probably mentioned it. We probably talked about it at length. Is it important whether we acknowledge what people did or didn't do?
Nah.
Yeah.
Nah, stuff them.
I watched a YouTube video where Simon Pegg breaks down his iconic roles.
And that was it.
So that's one of those.
Is it a good Scottish accent?
According to him, because he talks about it in the video,
according to his Scottish friends, it is.
Oh, okay.
Apparently, British people are like, that's no good.
But his Scottish friends were like, no, it is good.
But then maybe they're playing a trick on him.
They could be.
But his wife is Scottish and apparently she was.
Oh, okay.
Then he's nailing it.
But then maybe she's also playing a trick on him.
The Scottish love a good crack.
You know what I mean?
Isn't that an Irish thing?
That's the Irish thing, yeah.
It's the Irish.
I don't know what the Scottish like.
Haggis.
Yeah, they like Haggis.
Yeah.
They're like, Haggis and Edinburgh Fringe Festival.
They're like going up into the hills and there's fog.
Boy, do they, yes.
Anyway, so this kind of leaves this movie in flux.
They apparently weren't willing to take a pay cut.
Okay.
Because they were like, look, listen, we're going to do this one a little bit cheaper.
But so can you take less money? And they're like, well, no, we're going to do this one a little bit cheaper. But so can you take less money?
And they're like, well, no, because we're famous movie stars.
That being said, I understand why they walked away because with these guys in it, I'd imagine this one will probably do much better.
A lot better, yeah.
Yeah.
I think that's some good, because when I heard they were doing it, I'm like, that's a great idea.
Who is?
They should make it, I said.
Yeah, make a movie. Yeah, they were doing it, I'm like, that's a great idea. Who is... They should make it, I said. Yeah, make a movie.
Yeah, they were going to make it.
But then they had less money to make it.
Yeah.
Who plays Kirk's dad in the first Star Trek reboot?
The first Star Trek reboot?
The first J.J. Abrams Star Trek reboot.
Chris Hemsworth.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
Right, okay.
We have had this discussion, haven't we?
Yeah, yeah.
That's what I thought.
And we've done a commentary for that movie. That's what I thought. Yeah, so that's why he's coming back. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Right, okay. We have had this discussion, haven't we? Yeah, yeah. And we've done a commentary for that movie.
That's what I thought.
Yeah, so that's why he's coming back.
That's what I thought.
So this is the time travel one, or another time travel one.
Or another time travel...
There haven't been any new time travel ones, I think, of the new continuity, have there?
No, except for...
There's been people getting frozen.
Yeah.
But the first one was a whole time travel loop situation.
Oh, yeah, of course.
The entire movie was about time travel.
We don't remember these movies very well, do we?
I was making fun of you for not remembering something,
but I hadn't remembered something also, and two.
And yours is the most recent misremembering,
so I'm the winner.
I guess so.
Yep.
Yeah.
And I'm never going to make another mistake again.
Oh, man.
So...
They're walking away.
They're walking away for now.
I'd imagine they'd be able to get them back, but maybe this is also, if they don't, man. So. They're walking away. They're walking away for now.
I'd imagine they'd be able to get them back,
but maybe this is also,
if they don't,
maybe Star Trek is just going to move to TV.
They can't recast.
They can't recast Kirk is what you're saying.
They can't recast either of them.
If they bring back Kirk's dad and they're like,
and it's,
I can't think of anybody.
Another Chris.
Uh-huh.
Chris,
Jim Slater. Nice. Yeah. From-huh. Chris Jinslater.
Nice.
Yeah.
From Cuffs.
That's right.
Yeah, maybe it's just going to all move to TV.
Okay.
Because maybe they don't want to roll the dice on it.
Who knows?
But no, I think this would be a bloody great idea.
And this was, yeah, this was Chris Hemsworth's breakout role.
I remember when I saw that in the movies because I was aware of him and we're all ready for some 2020 hindsight here where James
predicts that he always
he always saw
something in Chris Hemsworth
I was surprised
yes
how good he was
in the opening
and how effective
that first 10 minutes
of that film is
and it wasn't like
you know
when he's like Thor
or whatever
you know
it clearly solidified him
as a guy
well when I saw him
in that role
I thought this guy's
definitely going to be Thor.
And I know he's going to be a big movie star.
I know it.
And he's going to be in a Ghostbusters remake.
Probably the best part of it.
That's what I said.
Is that what you said?
Yeah, I said it.
You said it, yeah.
Because we saw that movie together.
I just don't remember you saying that.
I said it to the guy on the other side.
Okay, right.
You were on the right.
He was on the left.
Okay, gotcha.
Good, good. And that man was christian slater from cuffs you know yeah from
cuffs i don't know cuffs i say i know cuffs what's cuffs it was a it was a movie he was a cop in the
in the 80s or something i don't know okay yeah pre or post the one that quentin tarantino wrote
pre okay gotcha now the good thing about being Star Trek news
is we've dodged the Star Trek.
There's no Star Wars news this week.
Oh, thank the Lord.
There is.
I tricked you.
Oh, come on.
I barely had time to do my weird spiel
where I pretend like I'm so happy there's no Star Wars news.
I know, sorry.
And then I do a big song and dance about how there's no Star Wars news
and I'm so happy about it.
And then you're springing on me. You've still got this song and dance, don't you? I do a big song and dance about how there's no Star Wars news and I'm so happy about it. And then you spring it on me.
You've still got this song and dance, don't you?
I do, yeah.
If anything, it's a fresher, newer song and dance that I'm enjoying even more.
So there's a little bit of information about the Jon Favreau series.
It's apparently going to be $100 million for 10 episodes or something like that.
That's some Game of Thrones numbers right there.
I was just going to say, how much does a Game of Thrones thrones episode cost 10 million dollars i've already said that all right
those questions already based do they vary at all like what if there's yeah i'm sure they're like
we'll put a dragon in this one and we won't put a dragon in that one but yeah i think that because
we've talked about this but the first season of game of thrones was 10 million for the season
yeah right and now it's it's getting out of hand if I'm honest. But it all looks great.
But apparently the rumor is that it's going to be focusing on the Mandalorians after Return of the Jedi.
So what's happening there?
Have you been watching any of Clone Wars or Rebels
and what's going on with the Mandalorians?
No.
They're a warrior culture.
I know what they are.
They were run by Darth Maul at one point.
But if it's not really one because he's a clone and his dad's something wait so they they're they're a culture not a race i don't yeah both
okay i just they've got their own planet i assume they were just like generic human like han solo's
carillion or whatever yeah yeah so they're human but okay right they've got like different warring
tribes and they paint each other different colors and they fly the warring tribes paint each other different colors, and they fly around. The warring tribes paint each other different colors. Before the fight, yeah.
Oh, that's fun.
It's the pre-fight page.
Sportsmanship, I like it.
Okay.
But so this doesn't super interest me, to be honest.
Just be on one planet and about.
What if it's just jetpack fights all day?
I've seen the Rocketeer.
But there was only one jetpack.
That's what I'm talking about.
Yeah.
Okay, there has to be a minimum of two jetpacks,
and then I can get on board.
There's short range jetpacks as well.
Oh, are they?
Because I've seen Rebels.
They go a little bit further than you think.
They've also got a missile on them.
Yep.
What a combination.
Yeah, right?
A missile and a jetpack.
Yeah.
That's not a good idea.
No.
Yeah.
What if you fire the missile and it doesn't detach?
Yeah.
And then you're flying along with the missile.
And then it explodes and you explode.
Correct.
There's no ejector seat on a jet pack.
So that's the traditional Mandalorian armor.
So everybody has that suit.
Yeah, like a variation on that.
Okay, right.
Does everybody have like the grappling hook and the flamethrowers and the whatevers?
They all have different things.
Okay, right.
And they all, you know, there's different clans and their families and they betray each other.
Right.
Who's in charge and whatever.
Yeah.
Who's in charge? You need Yeah, huh. Who's in charge?
I need some face painting to be done.
So Sabine Wren from Rebels is a popular character that showed up.
There's some...
Katie Sackhoff, I think, played a Mandalorian in Clone Wars.
Oh, fun.
Also Rebels.
Starbuck.
Yeah, that's right.
So actually she'd be...
Yeah, she could definitely show up.
She's the right age.
So I don't care about any of these people. Oh, are you saying that Katie Sackhoff could appear? No, she could definitely show up. She's the right age. So I don't care about any of these people.
Oh, are you saying that Katie Sackhoff could appear?
No, she has voiced one.
She's a character.
She could be in live action in the TV show.
Yes, that's what I'm saying, yeah.
I think it...
I'm going to say Bo-Katan, but I don't actually know that,
but I'm going to look that up.
Is it Chris-Katan?
Who's Chris-Katan?
You know, from Saturday Night Live.
I do not know him.
Oh, he's one of the Dancing Roxbury Live. I do not know him. Oh.
He's one of the Dancing Roxbury guys.
Is that true?
Yes.
She's voiced by Katie Sackhoff.
Wow.
I'm a Star Wars legend, mate.
Yeah.
Can't be stopped.
Did you think I could be stopped?
You can definitely be stopped.
Yeah.
You're right.
I can.
Do you have any interest in the culture and whatever and any of this stuff?
Started off with a bang.
Started off with... A face paint and a jet pack fight.
A face paint and a jet pack fight.
Yes, exactly.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Just give me one character that I can relate to and it's not just a Boba Fett copy.
Yeah, right.
Which is difficult because there's a lot of those around.
Sure.
And they all have the armour.
Yeah.
So, but I don't know, just, I don't know.
Yeah.
I mean, again, any premise can work.
Oh, no, it definitely hasn't got me going, oh, this is going to suck.
This might not even be true.
So we'll see how that goes.
Do you like movies, Mason?
Yes.
Do you like the Simpsons movie?
You seen it?
I have seen it.
Do you want a sequel? No. Well, they're making one. making one oh come on you've seen a family guy movie yet no they're
making one i don't want that though it's not up to you is it no it's not really i guess it won't
affect my life in any way i can imagine if you being the executive producer at fox they come in
and pitch it they're like listen we want to do a Family Guy movie and you're like I don't want that though
but other people might want it
yeah but
I mean
I'm here though
you know
come on
I'm tired
I don't want that
yeah come on mate
did you like the
First Simpsons movie
yeah I did
did you like it
or was it just fine
it's probably more fine
weren't you annoyed
that Albert Brooks' character wasn't just Hank Scorpio?
Yes.
Yes.
But the reason they didn't do that, we've talked about this,
is because they thought it was too much of a deep cut.
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
I mean, it doesn't matter, but also, no, it wasn't.
Everybody loves that episode.
Yeah.
You're right, it doesn't matter.
As if probably Bumblebee Man was in that movie, right?
Exactly.
That's a deeper cut than that. Maybe there is a whole episode devoted to Bumblebee Man. in that movie, right? Exactly. That's a deeper cut than that.
Maybe there is a whole episode devoted to Bumblebee Man.
I bet there is.
I'm sure there is by now.
Yeah, exactly.
But yeah.
So they're making a sequel to that.
Yeah.
Wait, a direct sequel?
No, it can't be a direct.
I guess it would just go on from where the series is doing.
Okay, right.
I don't know if I'd go out and see it, but I'd eventually watch it.
Because I don't watch The Simpsons.
Presumably you don't.
I don't watch Family Guy.
So make movies though,
you know, if you want to.
And then...
Yeah, great.
Do you think there's going to be...
If the next Simpsons movie comes out,
do you think there's going to be
like a mad rush for people
to shotgun the last 15 years
of Simpsons TV episodes?
Did you shotgun the previous 10 years
of Simpsons when the movie came out?
No, but I mean, I was vaguely,
I was pretty familiar with them.
Yeah, but you didn't want to get caught up
on the lore of the Simpsons or anything like that.
Well, maybe potentially this might be like,
it's just a standalone Simpsons story,
like continuity free kind of.
I reckon it's a solid movie.
From memory.
From memory.
Yeah. Family Guy, do you reckon he'll fight the chicken? Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah, good. I reckon it's a solid movie from memory from memory yeah family guy
do you reckon he'll fight the chicken
in the family
oh yeah for sure
yeah good
it'll be like 20 minutes
of him fighting the chicken
okay then
you know what
if they went
okay this is
this is gonna be
the Simpsons movie
this is gonna be our like
this is gonna be a masterpiece
okay
I was gonna say Swan Song
yeah Swan Song
then we burn the Fox offices to the ground
yeah
what if they're just like
we go all out
and we make it
well see that's the thing
because if they're like
we'll make it
like the Simpsons
back in the old days
well that's what
2007 was
they got back
a bunch of writers
yeah right
they have to admit
that the last 10 years
of Simpsons stuff
has been bad
they didn't last time
they did it
yeah that's true
never admit anything
yeah okay
that's a good point
never admit
never apologize never never explain.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Speaking of apologizing and explaining.
Oh, yes, I'm listening.
Marvel's apparently more than interested,
I'll just say more interested, actually,
in getting James Gunn back into the fold
than looking at another director to take over the franchise.
According to who?
According to inside sources.
There were multiple sources, some saying it was,
some saying it wasn't.
Great.
So,
oh,
there's X-Men news as well.
I'm going to put that in.
I'll just do it off the top of my head
because I can vaguely remember.
Okay,
great.
But basically,
the room,
this is all rumor.
Disney want to say,
you know,
they've made a decision
and they want to stand by that.
But apparently Kevin Feige
and others at Marvel are like,
you're making a mistake here.
He's integral to the story and whatever.
Dave Bautista has been very vocal about wanting him back.
Yeah, that's true.
And saying it wouldn't be the same if they don't use his script for the new one.
Yeah, that he might walk or something.
And then he ended up saying...
He'll do what he's contractually obliged to do.
Which is smart.
Yeah, right.
Because I think Disney would just fire him.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
They don't fleech, generally. No, that's true. Who is the honcho who's the head honcho bob iger right yeah
he's very savvy yeah he kicked the shit out of you oh come on nah you're a measly fox executive
i get some licks in don't even worry about it yeah so how about this bob iger i'll fight you
in real life and if i win, you bring James Gunn back.
How's that sound?
I think he's into it.
Yeah.
I'll give him a buzz.
I'll shoot him a text.
If you could.
Hopefully he'll get back to us before the end of the show.
But there's also rumors that Warner Brothers are interested in bringing him over for DC,
which of course they are.
Yep.
I mean, I'd imagine they'd call him immediately.
Yeah.
Because he could probably fix a bunch of stuff over there.
He probably had to field a lot of calls from them during Guardians of the Galaxy 2.
No doubt, yeah.
No doubt.
I'm busy.
I'm directing this movie.
No.
Also, it looks like they will be using a script
for Guardians of the Galaxy 3,
which is probably a good idea.
Yeah.
Because it's probably good.
I would imagine so, yeah.
So that's where we're at.
No doubt we'll be back next week to
say other things.
Maybe the news will be the same or different.
It's very possible.
In the world of X-Men,
those movies that are now owned by
Disney but they're still going to be releasing.
There was two rumours this week for the X-Men
reshoots. One of them was that
X-Men
Dark Phoenix. I was going to say Apocalypse. I was considering two rumors this week okay i'm ready shoots one of them was that x-men dark dark phoenix
i was gonna say apocalypse dark i was considering just seeing how long you sat there thinking and
considering what it was we would have run out of tape yeah that's what i thought uh the first
rumor was they're going back for three months of reshoots oh boy which is that sounds like a whole
that's a whole movie and then the second rumor that came out of Collider was,
no, it's two weeks.
So, I mean, you could take it as it needs to be,
let's presume that both of these were true at one point.
They were going to reshoot the whole thing.
Yep.
That's bad.
Or maybe they just went,
just reshoot what you have to and let's just get it out.
Yeah, right.
Either way could be bad.
It's not going to be good.
I think, what do you think
well i haven't liked some of the last few yeah these ones in particular though like yes these
ones no this type this this particular flavor of x-men i do not care for yeah apocalypse
oh no thank you yeah maybe they maybe there's some surprises in there i don't know maybe
fresh coat of paint maybe there's some tweak that they can do.
They go to space.
Yeah, nice.
Well, we've had people email in who've seen an early cut
and said it was pretty flat.
Great.
But that's early days.
Who knows?
You know what they could put in?
More goofs.
Yeah, more goofs and gaffs.
Yeah, exactly.
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Oh man, I'm so excited for the Venom of the Universe because it's already shaping up to fall on its fucking head.
Here we go.
No bias here, but here we go.
Venom is going to be, it looks like, PG-13.
Oh, that's right. I heard about this.
And the reason they're apparently doing this
is because they're hoping to work it into the MCU down the line.
And that's how you want to open a film, don't you?
You want to water it down in the vague hopes that your probably not great movie is going to be shoehorned into a better series of films that will in turn boost the revenue for future films.
If they get made, which they probably won't if this is a PG-13 version of a character that people want to be really gory and bloody, who then will not watch this movie.
Correct.
Wow.
I feel like also that you could make your R-rated one and then you could use a slightly watered down version when you fight Spider-Man, right?
Yeah, for sure.
But maybe Marvel just don't want R-rated films in their universe.
But then again, they've got... Deadpool?
Or that, but the Netflix stuff.
Yeah, for sure.
Which is real grisly.
It has to be R-rated, right?
A lot of people get their heads cracked in the corridors.
Yeah, there's abuse, there's horrible stuff in those shows,
and they're boring.
The greatest crime of all. No, there's's horrible stuff in those shows. And they're boring. So it's like... The greatest crime of all.
No, there's some good stuff in there.
But you could even do it in story.
You could have him be super violent in his own movie.
Yes.
But when they introduce him in a Spider-Man,
he's got some sort of shield issue shock collar on
and he can't kill anyone or something.
He learns a lesson.
He learns a lesson.
That's right.
The other bit of news is,
remember that Silver Sable Black Cat movie that I'm making?
Boy, do I.
I remember that day and a half.
Yeah.
Well, that's not happening.
And the reason it's not happening is because...
Because nobody knows who Silver Sable is.
Well, that and they're splitting it into...
She's from the nation of Simcaria.
You know, I thought about this this week
and I genuinely didn't know who she was.
I definitely know who Black Cat is, but I do not know a lot about suicide.
Is she a mercenary or something?
She's a mercenary.
She owns a mercenary company.
Great.
And she has silver hair, and she always dresses entirely in silver.
That's great.
Garish, if you ask me.
Very tacky.
A bit on the nose?
Yeah, a little bit on the nose.
A bit bougie.
Like a silk or like a metal?
Her jumpsuit is metal, and then sometimes it's a silk.
What a delight.
Anyway.
If you've only got the one colour to work with, it's textures.
I guess it is, isn't it?
You've got to break that up somehow.
That's true.
Anyway, this is going to be split into two movies.
That's why.
Oh, wow.
What a twist.
What a curveball.
I thought you were going to say,
and because they're cancelling it
and the screenwriter's being killed,
but no, they're hiring more screenwriters, apparently.
Great stuff.
Yeah, this is insane.
Yeah.
So this whole cinematic universe is,
I mean, it's not looking good.
But the thing is, though...
Yes?
If Venom's great, all this is valid.
That's true.
If not, bad.
Can you launch a cinematic universe off an okay film?
No.
Okay.
No is the answer.
But I mean, potentially, but iron man you i guess you could
iron man's not okay no it's great right it's great but i'm saying like that's the only the
only real example of a shared universe that works is the marvel one which started out with a great
first movie and there's a couple of so-so secondary ones. Yeah,
in the first,
very early on as well.
Yeah, yeah. But they got that
first one right.
Yeah.
So,
I think the answer is no.
You cannot build a universe
on an average one.
Well,
that's too bad.
Because who's going to
come back for the second one?
Not me.
Yeah.
I mean,
look at the DC universe.
It's diminishing returns.
Cowboy Ninja Viking
has been delayed,
which means it's
probably cancelled.
I guess.
Wow, just tell it like it is, why don't you?
What do you want me to say?
I'm going to sugarcoat it for you?
Yeah, it's gone to live on a farm.
Cowboy Ninja Viking
has gone to live on a farm
with
the Dark Universe.
Yeah, the Dark Universe, sure.
I was trying to think of another multiple personality.
Oh, okay.
Look, there's no time to dwell on it now.
Five Ghosts?
They're making that?
Yeah, with Five Ghosts.
I think they're making that.
Yeah, all right.
Five Ghosts is great.
Someone's got that.
If you're listening and you've got Five Ghosts,
do something with it.
Yeah.
Or if you're in your house and there's Five Ghosts.
Do something with it.
Yeah. Call Ghostbusters Remake. Get them to come in. do something with it yeah or if you're in your house and there's five ghosts do something with it yeah
call Ghostbusters
call Ghostbusters remake
get them to come in
bringing Chris Hemsworth
is probably the best part
or whatever
thank you
the Broccoli's
do you know who they are
the James Bond producers
James Bond family
yeah
they own all the rights
they're apparently looking
to cast a black actor
for the next Bond
after Craig wraps up
people are then like Wyd, Idris Elba.
That name keeps coming up.
But there's no confirmation of that by any stretch.
Also, I feel he might be too old.
We've talked about this before.
And it's been a few years since we last talked about that.
That being said, he looks great.
So if they did cast him, I don't think it would really matter too much.
But it's just, how many action movies do you get out of a guy approaching 50?
That's true, exactly.
And he's got to do stunts.
He's got to punch through walls.
He's got to bloody...
He's got to drink martinis.
He's got to get whacked in the balls
with a big sack of lead shot or whatever happened in that movie.
I remember that movie.
Did you know there's already been a black James Bond?
In James Bond Jr.?
No, in the...
Oh, the David Niven one.
No, I was going to say the...
The David Niven?
Yes, it is David Niven in the original Casino Royale.
But no, there was an audio book for one of the most recent James Bond books,
Trigger Mortis, and the voice of james bond in that
is david a yellow oh i was gonna i was gonna say is it that guy yeah and it is it is that guy yeah
totally yeah from selma and etc so he'd be a good bond that's what i'm talking about he's if he's
already done it give it a give it a bloody bash yeah he's also agent callous in star wars rebels
he is you familiar with that show no they'd have have a lot of Mandalorians. I just guessed that. I just guessed some syllables there.
That's amazing.
Pretty good, right?
Callus.
Do you get it?
Callus.
He works for the Empire.
Initially.
Twist.
Callus.
Because of his feet.
Yeah.
Yeah, nice.
I get it.
Does a lot of barefoot running.
That's what I thought.
Yeah.
He's got big mutton chops.
Wow. Yeah. Good stuff. That's what I thought, yeah. He's got big mutton chops. Wow.
Yeah.
Good stuff.
Okay.
One more bit of news.
The Oscars are being talked about for some reason.
End of news.
And the reason of that is...
Who knows why?
It's a mystery.
One day it'll be solved, but not today.
Good night, everyone.
It's rating poorly, apparently.
Okay.
So it's going to do some...
Because it's five hours long?
Five hours long.
They're shifting technical awards during the commercial breaks.
So if you've worked really hard on something, don't worry about it.
Yeah, don't.
And they've introduced a new category, which is like a backhanded compliment.
Oh, most best popular film?
Is that it?
Yeah.
Great.
That's like saying...
Best popular podcast.
Well, that's right. It means nothing. Yeah. Do you know where that award is? It's in. Great. That's like saying... Best popular podcast. Well, that's right.
It means nothing.
Yeah.
Do you know where that award is?
It's in the cupboard.
That's what I thought.
I was on the desk today
and I'm like,
this is taking up space.
I looked around as if
like potentially using it
to prop up your desk
or something like that.
Like you get a wonky table leg
and you're like,
oh, there's the award.
It's about that size
where it could do that.
Yeah.
But so this feels kind of like
we can't give Star Wars a Marvel Oscar.
Yeah, we can't give Black Panther an Oscar for best film or whatever.
Yeah, imagine that.
I mean, it's not the best film of the year.
No, but I mean, you know, potentially.
You can't even nominate it.
Potentially, like, you know, they could have, you know,
in past years people have been like, well, what about Logan?
You know, that's a good solid film that could win best.
But that shouldn't even win most popular, Logan.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, right. Yeah. It's's basically it's the popcorn movies they may as well call it the mtv
award or whatever yeah yeah best dude bro movie that's right yeah hottest kissed best butt you
know all those yeah yeah uh-huh it's the it's the oscar statuette but it's got a backwards baseball
cap on so who cares about the Oscars, obviously?
Well, exactly.
I mean, these movies, the movies that we like,
get acclaim in that we watch them and enjoy them
and tell people about them and talk about them at length.
It doesn't matter if they get a statuette or not.
And also they make billions of dollars.
Exactly.
I mean, people always point to like Pulp Fiction wasn't nominated.
The Dark Knight wasn't nominated
It doesn't matter, who won in 2008
Do you know?
Probably Crash, the one about racism
Who did win in 2008?
Oh 2008
I want to look it up and see what happens
Well Forrest Gump won I think the year that
Pulp Fiction
Which I kind of get I understand why Forrest Gump won, I think, the year that Pulp Fiction,
which I kind of get.
I understand why Forrest Gump would have won in 1994.
Yeah.
2008, best picture.
No Country for Old Men.
Okay, that's a good one. That's a good movie.
All right.
We retract our entire argument.
Yeah.
That's a great movie.
That is a good movie.
I am genuinely surprised.
Yeah, yeah.
A lot of people
are either
no country for old men
people
or
there will be
blood people
where do you stand
they're both good films
aren't they
I agree
but you have to pick one
I think I've only seen them once
each
you have to pick one
neither
wow
even though you
have to pick one
probably will be blood
huh
yeah what about you
the other one wow that's right wait a minute yes Wow. Even though you have to pick one. Probably Will Be Blood. Huh. Yeah, what about you?
The other one.
Wow.
That's right.
Wait a minute.
Yes.
So we should do an episode on this.
Okay, so the artist one in 2011.
Yep.
Was that a silent film?
It's like a black and white. Come on.
That one really?
Because it was all about Hollywood loving Hollywood.
It was, wasn't it?
That's what Hollywood's all about.
An industry congratulating itself.
Yeah.
Should I go have one?
I don't think so.
The Hurt Locker?
Probably not.
Slumdog?
Nah.
I love Danny Dore, but probably not.
The Departed?
Maybe.
Why is Babel nominated?
That's ridiculous.
Yeah, Crash White in 2005.
So you're saying we should-
Crash Beat Brokeback Mountain.
That's outrageous.
Yeah, I know, right?
Yeah.
That's one of those odd blips in the entertainment industry
where it's like it's objectively a terrible movie,
but somehow it got in there.
Yeah.
I read an article recently about,
do you remember that Oasis album Be Here Now?
Yeah, vaguely.
It wasn't What's the Story of Mourning Glory,
it was the one after that.
Right.
And at the time, all the music magazines were like,
this is the best, like this is the greatest album.
They've done it again.
What year was this?
Is this their second album?
This is their third album, I think.
Okay, right.
Yeah, and this is the one.
And like people camped out all night to buy this album
and it sold millions and millions of copies.
And all the mags were like, this is the greatest thing.
They've saved British music or whatever. Thank thank god and then i read this article where
all the all the reviewers who reviewed the the album back in the day they talked about it again
and all of them were like in retrospect that's that's the worst album ever made
how do you get that that wrong it was a combination of factors i'll find i'll find
the article and i'll incredible but it's just a comp like i think because they were like you caught up in
the hype man yeah caught up in the hype but also like when uh what's the story morning glory came
out which is the their big big big one like where they broke big i think a lot of those guys were
like i don't see it i don't care but you know it's just it's fine whatever and then like six
months later,
everybody in the world knew all the lyrics to all the songs.
And I think they didn't want to be wrong again.
So they were just like, they've done it again.
How is that possible?
You know, kind of thing, right?
We should do an Oscars episode.
I think you were going to say just,
well, let's do an episode on the Oscars 2008.
Okay, Titanic beat LA Confidential.
That's probably fair
because in terms of scope
yeah for sure
the English patient
should not have beaten Fargo
no
that's ridiculous
or Secrets and Lies
I don't know what that is
no absolutely
have you ever heard of that
but I mean Fargo is like
it's a way better film
but it's genre
like it's crime genre
yeah
and that
that is not that's never beaten by like
i'm amazed i got british merchant ivory yeah right la-di-da you know that's always gonna win
also 95 babe should have beaten braveheart don't at me all right wow mastermind george miller yeah
didn't direct it though never seen the sequel apparently it's not that
apparently it's really good
big in the city
big in the city
big in the city
Mr. Big from Sex and the City
is in the city
has he ever not been?
probably not
probably not
yeah
okay
now unfortunately for us Mason
I haven't read a lot of reviews
for the Meg
because I want to go in fresh
I want to go in clean
so fresh and so clean
you want to go in outcast style
that's right
I do I couldn't make it to the i do uh i couldn't make it to
the screening and you also couldn't make it to a screening so we haven't seen the meg
but the good news is that jason statham has made a bunch of movies that we can make fun of
terrific in this episode not just the meg no not just the meg he's been active for quite a while
now upwards of no 15 years do you mean sexually maybe good for him 20 years yeah that's pretty
good that's good stuff we've done episodes like this before i think we've done one on keanu reeves
movies yeah through his entire filmography of the ones that we remembered and we talked about them
we gave him a kia yes or a kia no and that rating i feel should apply to all... I agree. All film stars.
I think so, yeah.
Good, excellent.
It's good, because also we'd have to come up with a Statham-related rating system,
and I refuse.
Statham or Stath...
Clam.
They both sound bad.
Yeah.
Tell you what, if midway through the episode we think of one,
we'll just abrupt left turn and we'll start giving him that rating.
Very good.
But until then, Keanu, yes, Keanu, no.
Yeah, I agree. Because I was so happy with that at the time, while we change it. Yeah. left turn and we'll start giving him that rating but until then kia yes kiano yeah i agree because
i was so happy with that at the time while we change it yeah you know so he's he started when
he grew up a little bit of background on the state he uh it was did a little bit of martial
arts growing up he was also friends with vinnie jones growing up huh that's not that makes sense
yeah they look like they're the same friends or something yeah Or they also look like if you got Vinnie Jones and you like screwed him open in the middle
and you took his top off, like you took the top half of his body off, Jason Statham would
be inside him.
Right?
That's right.
Yeah.
Have you heard?
Those Russian dolls.
You know, a friend of Hollywood, Pete.
Yes.
Have you heard his Jason Statham story?
I don't think so.
Okay.
So it's not that big a deal, but his wife loves Jason Statham.
Uh-huh.
Right?
And he had an opportunity. He had a dinner withason statham uh-huh right and he had an
opportunity he had a dinner with jason statham and she was like oh absolutely i would 100 love
to beat jason statham and she's quite tall she's like 5 11 uh-huh and she was so disappointed when
he showed up because he's like five six five seven oh no but he's five six tall and five six
wide exactly yeah yeah So good on him.
There's more to that story, but I'll...
Oh.
I'm not going to...
I'm not going to...
Nothing bad.
I just feel like I'm not going to share it.
He was apparently a very nice, big-headed boy.
Oh, yes.
So he's 51 years old roughly now,
but he started also as an Olympic diver in the early 90s.
He hasn't always been 51 years old.
That's true.
He worked up to it.
Yeah, because Vinnie Jones was a
soccer player, right? That's right, yeah. The great game.
And he did a bit of... Association football.
That's right. He did a bit of soccer
as well. Vinnie Jones got him into that. Or football.
Association football.
Association football. He was also a model in the 90s.
Makes sense. Rough around the edges
kind of model. Was he also in the band Right Said Fred?
I don't think so. Because he looks like
he'd fit right in in the band Right Said Fred? I don't think so. Because he looks like he'd fit right in in the band Right Said Fred.
Right Said Fred.
Jason Statham.
Doesn't auto-correct.
Yeah, so it's almost certainly accurate, right?
Watch Half-Naked Jason Statham in the most 90s.
He might be in a music video for them.
What?
What?
I only said that because the guys in right said Fred are buff and bald.
Oh man, what a revelation if that turns out to be the case.
Sometime after leaving Britain's National Diving Squad and before lock, stock and two smoking barrels,
this is from Uproxx, the Statham got his greasy money maker for Scottish electronic band The Shaman
in coming on music video.
In the alternate universe, Statham is one of the guys in Right Side Fred.
Oh, it's not that.
No, that's a shame.
That's bitterly disappointing.
Isn't it though?
That's very misleading.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because he's a model, you know what I mean?
I know what you mean.
Does his little turn on the catwalk.
I'm familiar with the song.
On the catwalk.
He's also been on the catwalk.
On the catwalk, yeah.
Shakes his little tush on the catwalk.
He does.
His tiny little buttocks.
But so, look, the thing about Statham
is he's been around
for a long time.
I've always kind of liked him.
When I first saw him in,
the first one I saw him in
was Lockstock,
but he's done a couple here.
He's done The Shaman,
the video we actually
just talked about.
Eurasia,
Run to the Sun.
I'm not familiar with that one.
Oh, yeah.
And then the next one
in 1998 is Lockstock
and Two Smoking Barrels
because he got introduced
to Guy Ritchie and that he needed a tough, cool street guy. Oh, yeah. And then the next one in 1998 is Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels because he got introduced to Guy Ritchie
and that he needed a tough, cool street guy.
Yeah, right.
And at the end, did they get away with it
or didn't they?
Just like every Guy Ritchie movie.
Did they or didn't they, Mason?
Oh, they...
Something about the guns on the bridge?
Yeah, no, they didn't get away with it.
Or did they?
No, I think they didn't get away with it.
Because the phone was ringing
and he was choosing between answering the phone or dropping the guns, remember? Yeah, but I think he didn it. Or did they? No, I think they didn't get away with it. Because the phone was ringing and he was choosing between answering the phone
or dropping the guns, remember?
Yeah, but I think he didn't.
But did he?
Did they get away with it?
Or didn't they?
They didn't get away with it.
There was also a TV series.
Lockstock.
Yeah, it's called Lockstock.
I remember that.
And at the end of every episode,
they either did or didn't get away with it.
What I actually,
when I was over at my parents' house
clearing out old stuff,
I did find my old Lockstock DVDs.
Oh, and?
A whole bunch of Statham's.
Well, I haven't watched them because I don't have a DVD player currently.
Statham's not in that, is he?
No, he's not in...
He's in Snatch, but he's not in...
But he's not in the Lockstock.
The Lockstock TV series is like four character archetypes
who are very similar to the ones in the movie,
except different names.
That's right.
Great stuff, probably.
Yep.
I thought it was kind of fun.
I bet it hasn't aged well.
I bet it hasn't.
They nearly got away with it, didn't they?
Or did they?
They didn't get away with it.
I want to be clear, they didn't get away with it.
Okay, good.
Lockstock's good from memory.
Absolutely it is, yeah.
I think it's...
I think Guy Ritchie got caught in that for quite a long time.
Oh, in that stylistic...
Yeah.
Yeah, that's...
It kind of carries over to even Revolver,
which is more recent,
which is apparently not so good.
Have you seen Revolver?
Ah, no.
Because I've been told multiple times
it's completely nonsensical.
Yeah, right, okay.
The plot.
Yeah, yeah.
What do you think of Snatch, though?
I mean, whatever we're talking about.
Lockstock.
We're still on Lockstock.
Anything in particular?
It was something I hadn't seen before at that time.
Same, yeah.
It was totally fresh and original.
Yeah, yeah. And maybe it wasn't maybe it's like maybe it's like tarantino where the first
time i watched i'm like oh i'm blown away by this but then it turns out it's actually just a pastiche
of old movies from the 70s and kung fu and etc but again with with guy ritchie's lockstock i'm like
oh this is i've not seen this this feels dog race or something in it, isn't there?
That's Snatch.
I don't even know.
Oh, my God.
Lockstock has Sting in it.
Snatch has a dog race.
What's Sting?
The musician, Sting.
Oh, it does, too.
He owns the bar.
He's the bartender, yes.
Which one is Cat from Red Dwarf in?
He's in the first one, isn't he?
He's in the first one.
Yeah, cool.
Yes.
Did they get away with it?
He lights a man on fire. yes did they get away with it they
didn't get away with it i mean it's ambiguous but it's no fun it's no fun if they got away with it
i feel that's why it's ambiguous yeah all right you can't say it's ambiguous and they didn't get
away with it no i think they didn't get away with it i think you're wrong i think it's ambiguous we
should tweet it guy richie if indeed he has, and ask him whether they got away with it.
And then once he's sifted through the thousand tweets he gets a day asking
whether they got away with it,
in any one of his given movies,
he'll get to us and he'll tell us definitively.
There we go.
We've got to burn through these, though.
Is that a big key I.S. from you?
That's a big key I.S.
Definitely.
That's a 20-year-old movie now. I'd very much like to revisit it vinnie jones is the biggest face on
that poster as well and that's incredible yeah right uh the next jason statham movie is snatch
yes uh so in in lockstock he's a character called bacon in snatch is a character called turkish yeah
yeah so there you go i don't really remember this one super well, but I don't also remember the other one super well.
Did they get away with it?
Who's to say?
It's ambiguous.
But Brad Pitt has absentee, a nonsensical accent,
and he gets in a fight and he's a gypsy.
And Jason Statham's like, oh, and then a whole bunch of stuff happens,
probably, and then they either do or don't get away with it.
They didn't get away with it.
It's ambiguous.
It's not. It's not.
It's less ambiguous.
Yeah, but what I think is interesting about his first couple of appearances
in the silver screen is that he's not a rampaging, indestructible monster.
No, he's not.
At some point there was a turn and they went,
you know what people would like to see him as?
A guy who cannot be stopped by any means.
Maybe we can find that.
Yeah, let's find it.
Because I think it's coming up fairly soon.
I don't think he has that many more roles where he's not.
But like Lockstock and...
Lockstock, he's pretty much just a regular guy.
Yes.
Snatch, it's more cartoony.
But he's a guy who spent with Tommy, his pal.
Yeah.
They spend most of that movie on the run kind
of thing yeah right bigger more threatening guys and he's not super ripped or anything in it yeah
yeah yeah yeah or anything yeah but a certain point they're just like he look he's done a lot
of he's done a lot of great great stuff for bald men i feel definitely you know yeah if you if you
know if you know a friend who's very thinning on top, or who's bald on top, and he's got the mullet out the back or whatever,
if you want them to change their look,
you just go up to them and be like,
no, man, shave your head.
You'll look like Jason Statham.
You'll look like Jason Statham.
That's right.
They'll do it.
Yeah.
And you could live inside Vinnie Jones.
Live inside Vinnie Jones.
Hasn't that always been your dream?
Yeah.
I don't remember Snatch being great, though.
It's not as good as Lockstock, right?
No, I think it's more stylized and it's more cartoony.
It's more a caricature, I think.
It's less, it doesn't feel like, like I feel like Lockstock,
even though it has these stylized elements and odd cutaways
and cartoony transitions and stuff like that you know odd cutaways and like some like like cartoony transitions and stuff
like that i feel like it feels much more like a story that could happen yeah right i think snatch
is way more like uh i don't know it's why it's way more hollywood certainly do you think guy
richie and madonna ruined each other's careers um no i look i think madonna i mean what's why are we talking about this i i don't know
like i think madonna had a mad like madonna's career went for like 40 years or something like
that yeah and it's not like either of them stopped yeah i mean i think i think madonna's creative
output just sort of thinned out over the years and then she just sort of slowed down i think i
think if she wants to make another album she would but you know
yeah
but maybe she killed Guy Ritchie's
who knows
who knows
the next one after that
is the 2000 movie
Turn It Up
where he plays Mr. B
didn't say it
that is
but let's assume
oh wait
Snatch Key I.S.
Key I.S. yeah
I'll have to give it a Key I.S.
let's assume this is the one
this is the movie
where he becomes
an indestructible
rampaging monster yeah after that we've got ghost of mars where he plays sergeant jericho
butler i've never seen ghosts of mars are you familiar with it have i seen ghosts of mars i
have seen a mars movie of that era now are they actually ghosts because it's the ice cube one yeah
are they actually ghosts because looking at uh, it looks like they're maybe aliens.
Or are they ghosts of aliens of Mars?
Is that what they're saying?
In retrospect, I have not seen this movie.
But I think this is the era where there was another Mars movie that came out at the same time.
The Red Planet? Yes, I saw that one.
And the other one?
Mission to Mars.
Mission to Mars.
I saw Mission to Mars.
I remember seeing the ad for Ghosts of Mars and thinking maybe good but i never did wow oh no if i close the imdb of jason
and you know what they put that in the they they overheard you the movie executives and that got
put in the next ad for ghosts of mars it was like see ghosts of mars i don't know maybe maybe james all right oh no i'm sorry you
gotta open up his bloody imdb jason statham you son of a bitch oh the next one's the one anyway
with jet lee i've seen that jet lee's uh there's multiple versions of jet lee killing each other
through dimensions he plays his partner or something and maybe he betrayed him at one point.
Who knows?
And then they kick each other in a steel mill.
This is the one I remember noticing
that he could do kung fu and whatnot and karate.
Do you remember it being any good, though?
I remember being impressed
that the two Jet Lis didn't look terrible.
Okay, but were you impressed with Jason Statham?
I don't remember that much of him in this movie.
Terrific.
Yeah, I remember he's got more hair than...
Well, this isn't about the Jet Li movie, The One.
The effects-heavy Jet Li movie, The One,
where there's a multiverse,
but there's only like 32 universes in it,
in the multiverse or something.
I'm not sure of the specifics.
There isn't enough.
There should either be two parallel universes
or an infinite number of parallel universes.
Don't give me a strictly defined smallish number.
They actually said 32.
Something like that.
Look it up.
He only killed that many.
Oh, look it up.
Because I thought he'd been doing it for like...
A thousand years.
Yeah, or something.
I think it's...
Maybe it's like 200 universes.
For those people who don't know,
in The One,
there's 32 parallel dimensions.
And if you go and murder
the other parallel self self you you gain their powers yeah and eventually there's two jet lees
left and one of them wants to be the one at which point they're this they're so powerful they can
pick up a motorcycle and hit the other guy oh yeah and that's a good effect probably for the time. There's 125 universes.
Jesus, that's too many.
No, it's not enough.
It's not enough.
Because it suggests that if you multiplied your personal strength by 125,
you could rule the universe.
You couldn't.
You're still not bulletproof.
You know what I mean?
You'd pick up a motorbike.
Yes, that's true.
But if he'd been doing it for tens of thousands of years
and there was millions of them,
I'd be like, well, that makes sense.
But how would he, though?
Because he'd age.
Yeah, but I'm saying dimensional powers or something.
You are saying that, aren't you?
Yeah, I'm saying dimensional powers.
Anyway, this isn't a podcast about the 2001 Jet Li movie,
The One One directed by
James Wong
produced by Steve Chassman
Glenn Morgan, Charles Newworth, James Wong
Todd Garner, Lata Ryan, Tom Chirac
Greg Silverman and Happy Walters
then what are we even doing here
thank you, Keanu
yes
because it's just the right amount of universes
no, I disagree I think it's just the right amount of universes. No, I disagree.
I think it's because you said 32 initially, so I'm like, 125 is not bad.
It's not bad.
It's better than 32.
Also, in 2001, there was the movie Mean Machine, which is a remake of the football, the Burt
Reynolds one from the 70s.
Yeah.
Vinnie Jones is also in this movie, right?
He's in that one as well.
Yeah, where they play soccer
or football. Association
football.
That's why it's called... Look, it doesn't matter.
That's why it's called soccer, alright?
And they play it in a prison yard against
guards and Vinnie Jones, you think he's
going to bloody take a dive.
This isn't a Jason Statham movie either.
I was going to say. But he's in it.
Yep. Yeah. But I think it was good to say. But he's in it. Yeah.
Yeah.
But I think it was good from memory.
I saw it in like 2003 and it was fine.
I mostly don't care for football movies,
so I'm going to give it a key R no.
I'm going to give it a big old key R yes.
Wow.
Okay, this is where things really heat up, Mason. Here we go.
2002 introduced us to Frank Martin.
The transporter himself. The transporter himself.
The transporter himself.
What got me jazzed, Mason, excited for the movie The Transporter.
It was all the stuff happening in the trailers that was not in the movie.
Specifically, we've talked about this, where he deflects a rocket launch,
a rocket with a serving tray.
Yep, in his house.
In his house.
How does he do it?
Who knows?
Who knows?
But he does.
But then they took it out.
It's also got that great bit where you hear the doorbell ring
and they look through the peephole
and you just see him sprinting towards it.
And then he kicks the door down.
So good.
I'm glad they kept that in.
If you listen to the audio commentary of the DVD for that movie,
there is a bit during the attack on his house bit in during that, the attack on his house.
Yeah.
And there's,
and Jason Statham's doing the thing
and he's like,
yeah, there,
there was a bit of a piece
where I deflected the thing
with the serving tray,
but they thought,
they thought I better take it out.
And I'm like,
yeah, you get it, Statham.
Who directed the transporter?
What French director?
Luc Besson?
Louis Lettier and Corey Ewan.
Oh, it's not Luc Besson.
All right.
He wrote it.
Okay. But, or he co-wrote it. So there you go. I would, and Corey Ewan. Oh, it's not Luc Besson. All right. He wrote it. Okay.
Or he co-wrote it.
So there you go.
I don't know whether it holds up or not.
I would say probably not.
I reckon it probably holds up better than the succeeding.
Yeah, definitely.
It's definitely the best of the four.
Because there's four now.
But no, I would say I wouldn't mind revisiting it.
I don't know whether I ever will but I wouldn't mind it
there's not enough time
there definitely isn't
Big Kia
yes from me
for that one
Big Kia yes also
especially for the time
Red Faction 2
he voiced the video game
who cares
is that the open
no that's not
the open world one
the Italian job
was after that
he was Handsome Rob
I fucking hate
that movie
is it because you like the original so much I really like the original and I just don't think it's very good The Italian job was after that. He was Handsome Rob. I fucking hate that movie.
Is it because you like the original so much? I really like the original, and I just don't think it's very good.
But I feel like there's some Fast and Furious pioneer shit in this movie.
Give me an example.
Like there's a ridiculous heist where they blow up the road,
and they drop a billboard, and the truck goes under the thing,
and then they have to do a race.
The first Fast and Fur furious is mostly just stealing
dvds and and yeah that's true yeah whatever i don't really remember but the italian job feels
more like a fast and furious movie than the first fast and furious movie yeah which is weird because
now he's in the fast and furious but he's just in the ensemble like looking at the poster it's
charlie's they're on it's got seth green yeah it. And Mark Wahlberg. And his arms are too big. They teamed up again.
They did? Bloody, what's
Charlize Theron and
Statham? What else
have they been in? Fast and the Furious 8 or 7
or whichever one. 8. Yeah. 8.
He's like the fifth biggest
guy on the poster. Yeah, right.
Wahlberg. Yeah.
Others. Seth Green.
Others. I Green. Others.
I remember thinking that even,
because Donald Sutherland plays the dad of Charlize Theron and if someone gets betrayed.
Oh, that's right.
Bloody...
Mark Wahlberg?
No, Edward Norton's in it.
Yeah, Edward Norton is in it.
But I remember thinking you should have got Kane.
You should have just made it a sequel.
Yeah, right.
I don't know.
It's probably better than I remember it, or worse.
For a second there, I thought you meant Kane, the WWE wrestler.
Please.
Yeah.
And I remember...
Who's a mayor now.
He's the mayor of a town in...
Look, it doesn't matter.
Yeah, he deserves it.
I agree.
He's worked hard, I guess.
I don't know much about him.
But I remember being not impressed by the new Mini.
I think they're stupid.
They're just the same size as a regular car yeah that's what i mean they're not where's the fun have they got a little bit of zip in them a small amount of zip yeah because the old
ones were complete death traps that's what i'm talking about you never drive one of those not
a million years yeah so anyway that's a big kanu from me, Mason. Keanu also. Okay.
Call of Duty in 2003.
The voice of that.
The video game.
Okay.
After that, he did Collateral.
He played...
He's credited here as Airport Man, but we know the truth, Mason.
He is also...
He's Frank Martin.
He's Frank Martin delivering a briefcase to Tom Cruise.
Two little men trading secrets.
What is it?
What's in the briefcase?
It's probably a thimble
a thimble full of secrets so here you go tommy boy we're not we're not big men either no that's
true yeah but yeah but uh it's a good movie it's a great movie i mean it's not his movie at all no
uh it's a big kiosk kis from me though but great we can't really get hung up on collateral i don't
know if i like that digital thing
they were filming a bunch of stuff in back then.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, it crops up every once in a while now,
and it's very noticeable.
Oh, also, we skipped the point where he becomes...
Is it the transporter movies where he becomes an unstoppable death?
I think, yeah, probably, yeah.
Or is this the transition?
Well, they took out the...
If they had kept the missile in,
it probably would have been that.
And he's a good fighter, but he's also not like he's he spends a lot to mention that the
best part of the transporter is the bike fight yes that's a mate where he takes the pedals off
a bike and then fights it guys shirtless and covered in oil covered in oil yeah that is just
slipping and sliding but see that's the thing like i think in the transporter movies he's crafty yeah but there is a lot of there's a lot of that movie it's him being
pursued yes which i think is when when i think of jason statham i'm like he's pursued by no man
that's true yeah but but maybe he should go back to being pursued a little bit i think so as well
yeah like like recently when we saw the Rock in Skyscraper. Yes.
I thought it was enjoyable that he wasn't just this man mountain.
Yes.
Like he's just a man and someone with skills could take him down.
Yeah, that's a shit film though.
Next up we've got Cellular.
Cellular.
Oh, he's the bad guy in Cellular.
That's right.
It's a Chris Evans film.
Chris Evans is the good guy.
Kim Basinger.
Yes.
He gets a phone call.
He's just a fun party dude. Yeah. And he's a Chris Evans film. Chris Evans is the good guy. Kim Basinger. He gets a phone call. He's just a fun party dude.
Yeah.
And he's going about his day.
But Jason Statham's only bloody gone and kidnapped Kim Basinger.
King Basinger?
King Basinger.
Oh, wow.
And he has to bloody find her using cellular services.
Cellular services.
And he's...
Bloody difficult job enough at the best of times, am I right?
You know it is.
Yeah.
It's a good movie from the one time we saw it at the theaters in 2004. I right? you know it is yeah it's a good movie
from the one time
we saw it at the theaters
in 2004
yeah I remember
that was the year
when we saw everything
yeah I know
yeah
I don't have much else to say
I don't really
I didn't know he was in that
I forgot he was in it
okay
but he is
well let's call it a key I know
because
oh come on
that's a good movie though
yeah but
is it though?
see that's the thing
I feel we should be giving the key I yes or the key I no
based on the Statham-osity of the movie.
Yeah, you're right.
And if you can't remember that Statham was in it...
Yeah.
Very low Statham-osity.
That's a good point.
Yeah.
Okay, I think we should rate these movies on key I yes or key I no
with a nod towards the Statham-osity of these movies.
Okay.
Then a key I no. I'd give it a movies. Okay, then a Kiara, no.
I'd give it a big Kiara yes for a Chris Evans,
Kim Basinger joint.
Absolutely, that's very true.
They're best, probably.
Probably, yeah.
Unless she's one of the crazy exes in Scott Pilgrim,
but I don't think she is.
I don't believe she is.
I mean, they're all men, so.
No, they're not.
No, there's also, yeah, no, there's one.
There's one lady.
In 2005, we got Frank Martin returned
In The Transporter 2
Yep
I've no memory of this
Which one's this?
It's the one
Is it the one in the plane
Or is it the one in the trade
Where he crashes the plane
Or the trade
It's
Three's the one
Three's the one
Where he's tethered to his car
He's tethered to his car
That's right
And if he leaves the car
He'll explode That's right And if he leaves the car he'll explode
That's three
Let's look up
I'm going to look it up
Same director I assume
I love the poster for this
He's doing like a double kick in the air holding two guns
So good
And he's kicking himself I think
I know he's kicking that lady
Two has the lady with the heaps big guns.
Okay.
Yeah, nice.
What's he moving in that film?
Let's find out.
It's a young boy who was kidnapped.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
But the first one is a girl who's kidnapped.
What's the third one?
He's just tethered to his car.
He's tethered to his car, yeah.
Here's a quote.
There's one quote on IMDB from Transporter 2.
I haven't read it.
Here we go.
Gianni says,
Not quite what you expected when you showed up for work this morning.
Is it, Frank?
Frank Martin.
Is that what passes for wit in this circle?
Gianni, in this circle, my friend,
wit is not a requirement of the job.
Brutality, yes.
And ability to inflict pain
absolutely what a quote it's too long pithy it's not iconic yeah it's not yeah that's true
it's not in the trailer i could be uh nah that's a keanu from me well okay yeah i mean there's
plenty of stathamosity yeah it's probably at 100 it Yeah, at least. But I can't endorse that movie.
No, it's fair.
I don't remember it.
After that was the movie London in 2005 where he played Bateman.
No idea.
No idea.
We should look into it, though.
Tell us about the movie London.
Okay, it's Chris Evans again.
What?
They clearly loved working with each other.
Chris Evans, Jessica Biel, Isla Fisher, Louis C.K.
What is...
Dane Cook.
What is this movie?
Kat Dennings.
Huh.
Paula Patton.
Sophie Monk.
What is this?
Australia's own Sophie Monk?
Yeah.
The winner, one of the winners of Australia's pop stars.
Bardot.
Bardot, yeah.
I don't know this movie at all.
Are you sure it's not an advertisement for London? It's got 40% on Rotten Tomatoes. is pop stars. Bardo. Bardo, yeah. I don't know this movie at all.
Are you sure it's not an advertisement for London?
It's got 40% of Rotten Tomatoes.
Upon learning
that his ex-lover,
Jessica Buehler,
is leaving New York,
a man, Chris Evans,
named Sid,
crashes her going-away party,
but once there,
he retreats to the bathroom
where a stash of cocaine
engages in a drug-fueled conversation
with a man,
Jason Statham,
he hardly knows.
I think he does know
because they were...
Sid tries to find the courage to confront her ex-lover before it's too late.
Wow.
Yeah.
I don't know what to make of any of that.
Aren't you glad we looked it up though?
Yeah, very much so.
After that we've got Revolver.
Does Jason Statham ever wig in that one?
He does.
He's got long hair.
Oh, terrific.
He's out of control this one.
Wow.
Would you give that?
Well, that's maximum Statham.
I've never seen Revolver.
Actually, here's the thing, though.
Is Jason Statham with hair,
is that more stathamosity or less stathamosity?
Good question.
Because I think the increased testosterone
that caused him to lose his hair
is maximum stathamosity.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, yeah, okay.
Yeah, you get it.
The thing about Revolver as well,
he's front and center in all these posters.
So he was riding high.
Yes.
Do you know what this is about?
Not really, no.
Do you want me to tell you?
No, is it somebody has a plan?
Does somebody have a perfect equation
for committing crimes or something?
No idea.
Jack Green is a hot shot gambler,
long on audacity and short on common sense.
Jake served seven years in jail for a crime he didn't commit.
I've taken the rap for a crime he didn't commit, uptaking the rap for
mean crime boss
Dorothy Macca. Why are crime bosses so
mean? I don't know. Upon his release, he takes
on Macca in a private casino game, causes
humiliation and wins. When Macca puts
out an order on Jake's life, Jake meets
brothers, Abby and Zach, who protect him
and plot to take Macca
down. Macca down.
16% Rotten Tomatoes, box office, $6 million.
Okay.
Boy, that's brutal.
Well, at least it only cost $500 to make.
That's true.
And it was-
Pure profits.
It was released in Russia as well, an initial release in September.
I remember being excited for this coming out.
I'm like, oh, it's a bloody, it's a Guy Ritchie one, it's a gangster, whatever, whatever.
But I still have yet to see it and I'm not surprised.
Also in 2005, he did four movies in 2005.
Wow.
This is Chaos.
You familiar with that?
No.
It looks like it's got Ryan Felipe in it.
Oh, they should have got Chris Evans.
They should have.
They should have completed the Statham Evans.
It's got Wesley Snipes and Ryan Felipe.
And it's got Krycek from The X-Files. It's got Wesley Snipes and Ryan Felipe.
And it's got Krycek from The X-Files.
Do you know what this is?
No.
Me neither.
Let's just skip it.
Next up.
Keanu.
He's in The Pink Panther in 2006.
As the Pink Panther?
No, because that's the other guy.
That's Steve Martin.
I haven't seen this, but big no.
Big Kiara no for me.
After that, we've got Crank.
Yeah. We've got to talk about Crank.
Maximum satiability.
Chev Chelios.
Kiara yes to the maximum.
So, do you want to explain Crank for us?
So, in the first Crank.
Yeah, Crank.
Crank, number one.
He's Chev Chelios.
Yeah.
And, wait. Yeah, Crank. Crank, number one. He's Chev Chelios. Yeah. And wait, and he's a gangster who's dying.
Yes.
Needs a heart.
Yes.
But his heart's a battery.
Yeah, so he cuts out Jason Statham's heart.
Yes.
And replaces Jason Statham's heart with an artificial heart.
Yes. and replaces Jason Statham's heart with an artificial heart that keeps him alive,
but only when he keeps it charged with electricity.
No.
No, that's the second one.
The first one, his heart has to stay above a certain...
Level of beats per minute.
Is that right?
Yeah, so he's doing all sorts of things.
Should we look this up?
He's doing a bunch of cocaine.
I enjoy these movies. He's having sex in the streets yeah uh he's doing all sorts of high octane stuff
to get his bloody heart racing but he's running out of time it's no it's a poison right it's a
poison yeah yes okay so the first one let's look it up the first one's a poison the second one's
an artificial i haven't seen the second one okay right yeah let's look it up okay i know what happens at the end so basically he gets revenge
and then he falls out of a helicopter and he falls long enough to leave a very long and heartfelt
uh apology message to his girlfriend amy smart yes and then he hits the he hits a car in the
street and it's if you if you look at the poster, it looks like a quite, like it looks like a,
looks like the poster
for Crash.
Yeah,
it looks like a solid,
a solid,
you know,
serious dramatic movie,
but it is not.
No.
It's fun though.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
It's like,
well,
it's the guys who did
Spirit of Vengeance
as well,
wasn't it?
Yep.
Okay,
so,
first one,
he's injected with
a Chinese synthetic drug
which inhibits the flow
of adrenaline
slowing the heart
and eventually
killing the victim
right
etc
keeps his adrenaline up
through reckless
and dangerous acts
picking fights
drugs
etc etc
uh
yeah
and then at the end
uh
he falls off the rooftop
uh
he calls that a helicopter
he calls that a helicopter
uh and then at the rooftop. He calls that a helicopter. He calls that a helicopter.
And then at the end, he calls his girlfriend on the phone.
He apologizes.
And then he lands on a car.
Yes.
And he thumps off it.
He bounces.
He bounces off it, yeah.
But then his eyes open.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And we'll come back to part two.
Okay. I'll have it ready.
That's a big key I.S. from me.
Absolutely.
After that, we've talked about this before briefly. In the Name of the King, a to part two. Okay. That's a big key I guess from me. After that we had,
we've talked about this before briefly,
In the Name of the King,
a dungeon siege tale.
Yes.
It plays Farmer.
It's an Uwe Boll film.
I've seen five minutes of it, I think.
And it's bad?
Yes.
Yeah.
Do we need to talk about that?
No.
Minimum Statham-osity.
Why period piece?
Yeah.
I mean, not really.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Next up we've got War in 2007,
another Jet Li collaboration.
It says, War is the second of in 2007 another Jet Li collaboration it says
War is the second
of five collaborations
between Jet Li
and Jason Statham
five
Expendables
oh yeah good point
they did too many of them
do you think he's better friends
with Chris Evans
or Jet Li
he's not making movies
with Chris Evans anymore
is he
that's true
yeah
I don't know anything
about War
it's probably
like the concept
or the movie
what would you say
it's good for I don't know anything about war. It's probably like the concept or the movie. What would you say it's good for?
I don't know.
Solving disputes.
Oh, wow.
You don't know anything about war.
Wow.
But it looks maximum Statham.
He's big faces on the poster.
He's facing off against Jet Li.
But Jet Li's got sunglasses on.
I don't know what to make of this.
So it's just a big yes for me for that one.
Wow.
Okay. So after this, we big yes for me for that one. Okay.
So after this, we've got The Bank Job, which is, it's a real film in terms of, it's way more, it's not, but it's way more realistic.
It's set in the seventies.
He's just a guy who's trying to get some money to get his bloody life back on track.
It's kind of a throwback to Lockstock.
It's great.
He's not charging through walls.
He's not flipping motorcycles.
That's right.
He's not breaking people's neck in mid-air.
He's not doing any of those things.
But I think, from memory, I really enjoyed The Bank Job.
It's a good movie.
It's a British crime thriller.
Yeah.
The stakes are high.
The stathamosity
is low
yes
but I'd say
for the best
agreed
it's got a bunch
of other people
you might recognise
such as the guy
who was shot by
Cassian Andor
in the alley
in Rogue One
and I know
you're a big fan of that
pretty great
is Chiwetel Ejiofor in it
I don't see his name
never mind then
let's not say
that he isn't Mason
but he isn't
oh yeah matt minimums
not not i wouldn't say minimum state thermosity yeah i'm still going to give it a minimum i think
it's the minimum state thermosity like if you put a lot of filters if you put a lot of state
like a state thermosity filter on a film yeah to try and minimize the state thermosity there's
still going to be a lot of state thermosity bleed through. You know what I mean? You better believe there would be.
Yeah, but I would say...
It's more early day stay.
It's minimum safe distance, stay thermosity,
but a big key R yes for me, I think.
After that, in 2008,
I remember really enjoying this movie
and I've seen it since
and I still really enjoyed it, Death Race.
Yes, right.
It's a remake of the 1970s movie,
but it's very much Not much in common with it
He goes into prison because they think he murdered his wife
But they only want him in prison so he can compete in a death race
He didn't really murder his wife
How many chin-ups is he doing in there?
Heaps
As many as he can
He's the new Frankenstein, a guy who wears a metal mask and races around the track
He's a really good car racer
All he has to do is win four death races or something and then he gets out of the death race oh that seems
easy and he does oh he gets out of the death race pretty great and then it's a good movie is it
though i really like it is it a good movie it's probably not i think it's the i think it's the
guy who makes the resident evil movies doesn't seem like there was much of a... Doesn't seem like a lot of drama, the way you described it.
No, it's a lot of drama.
Okay, because it seems like...
Ian McShane's in it.
Tyrese Gibson's in it.
He just said he has to win four death races to escape.
Jason Clarke's in it.
Then he just gets out?
Yeah, he gets out or whatever.
Jason Clarke's in it.
The Terminator.
Oh.
Man, good cast.
Joan Alley.
These are all good names.
Yeah, it is.
It's Paul W.S. Anderson.
So there you go.
Great.
Big fan.
A big thumbs up.
A big Kiai yes to Death Race 2008.
Okay, but how much is Dave Mociti?
It's maximum.
He's in a car and everything.
It's true.
Don't you remember?
Yeah, I get it.
Did you like it?
I can't remember if I've seen it or not.
You've seen it.
When you saw it.
Look, if I've seen it in 2008, then you've
seen it. Okay, that's probably true.
Okay, I'm going to say Keanu
just because I can't remember. What?!
Yeah, that's right. Okay.
Next one's Transporter 3. He's tethered to
his car. It's not good. It's got the guy
from Prison Break because it's
2008. Yeah, right.
Wait, which one? The chunky one?
No, no, the villain.
Not one of the brothers. No, right. Wait, which one? The villain. The chunky one? No, no, the villain. Not one of the brothers.
No, it's the villain.
Okay.
The guy who's like a weird sex creep.
Don't throw that at me.
Just be specific.
Just say it's not the wide brother or the thin brother.
It's not wide boy or thin boy.
Just to clarify, you don't mean obese.
You mean physically wide.
He's physically very wide, yes.
Transporter 3 is crap. crap yeah it's no good
uh next up we've got crank high voltage in 2009 yeah now you've already explained the plot
inadvertently but what what's that one about that one is the same yeah i'm just gonna shift
that dog's encroaching on so much space mason
hello dog no i can't stay mad at your dog how could you i can get even more mad That dog's encroaching on so much space, Mason. No. Get out of here, dog. You're so weird.
Hello, dog.
No, I can't stay mad at you, dog.
How could you?
I can get even more mad at you, dog.
Oh, no!
That's right.
So, yeah, they took his heart because it's an indestructible heart, right?
Yes, so it's exactly...
It starts immediately after the end of the first one.
Yep.
They scoop his body up off the street.
They cut out his heart.
And then they put an artificial heart in him.
And apparently they need his heart because he's so...
They've realized that he's more or less indestructible.
He's got the best heart in the universe.
With the heart.
It's described as an indestructible heart, I believe.
Is he carrying a car battery?
No, you think of Iron Man
I think
Iron Man
yeah
but he does put a battery
on his tongue
at one point
that's what I must think
well it's in the poster
so I'd hope he bloody does that
yeah yeah
okay fair enough
would you give it a big
Kiai yes
yes I would
okay fair enough
these movies are so stupid
but they're very enjoyable
do you think they'll ever
do another one of those
I can't remember
what happens at the end
hang on let's have a look
his bones would be liquid yeah but at the end Hang on let's have a look His bones would be liquid
Yeah but at the end he bursts into flames
And he continues fighting
Classic stage
But at the end
He gets his heart put back in
And he wakes up again
So
There could be three
But is he too old for
Because they're so
Like they're very B-movie kind of
Maybe we're past that
Maybe he's past it
I think he is probably past that
He doesn't want to do it anymore
Yeah yeah If you could be in a Fast and Furious movie Why think he is probably past that. He doesn't want to do it anymore. Yeah, yeah.
If you could be in a Fast and Furious movie, why would you be in a Crank movie?
You wouldn't do it. It feels like he isn't the kind of guy
who... Laughs at a funeral.
Yeah, exactly.
Don't understand
what we mean, you soon will.
Been Haked Ladies.
He doesn't seem like the kind of guy
who would follow fan expectations of him
like if they were if the fans were clamoring like if they were like do crank three we've got a
million signatures i think he'd be like nah i don't want to yeah exactly he's gonna climb back
inside vinnie jones that's right sleep here yeah that's right after that's the movie 13 don't know
what this is a young man assumes a dead man's identity
and finds himself embroiled in an underground world
of power, violence, and a chance.
A chance where men gamble behind closed doors
and live the lives of other men.
He's not top billing.
I don't believe.
Is he top billing?
Looks more of a Mickey Rourke film.
Oh, okay.
Don't know if that is one.
But a big old key I guess for me.
Next up is Expendables.
I actually realized I had seen part of this and I fell asleep watching it at a friend's house.
Good sign.
It's a terrible film.
Yeah, they're no good.
Yeah, they're all no good.
I haven't really seen it though, but no good.
Minimum Statham Ossetian, right?
Minimum Statham, probably.
Well, he's in a crew of various Expendables.
That's very true.
His name's Lee Christmas in those movies.
Did you know that?
All right.
Well, I think that should bring up the Stathamosity by a notch.
A fraction.
Yeah, we should have rated all the names as well.
They're not that interesting.
No.
Just Lee Christmas.
Lee Christmas is good.
And Frank, what's his face?
That's not bad.
I love these names.
Brant, Danny, Lee Christmas.
Next is The Mechanic in 2011, which got a sequel.
That's good, isn't it?
It's not bad, yeah.
He's like an assassin, but he comes up with clever assassiny ways.
Like that episode of Mission Impossible we watched.
Yes, precisely.
Yeah, cool.
Ben Foster's in it.
Is he?
I think.
Oh, he's his apprentice or something?
Apprentice, yeah.
Apprentice mechanic.
But he goes rogue?
Yeah.
Why is he called a mechanic?
Fix his cars on the side. Is it a code name Why is he called a mechanic? Fix his cars on the side.
Is it a code name or is he literally a mechanic?
I can't remember.
What a movie, though.
Right?
Is that a big key I.S. from you?
It's a big key I.S. from me.
I like it.
He's in Gnomeo and Juliet.
Who cares?
Call me when he's in the sequel.
Next, we've got the movie Blitz.
Seems like a threat.
In 2011.
Okay.
He played the character Brant.
Dunno.
He's not Lee Christmas is he
certainly not
and then in 2011
he's in Killer Elite
where he plays
Danny
Dunno
Pacino's also in that movie
I think
okay
and then after that
in 2012
it's the movie Safe
Dunno what that is
a young girl
whose memory holds
a priceless numerical code
finds herself pursued
by triads
the Russian mob
and cops
blah blah blah
ex-cage fighter
etc who cares then we've got Expendables 2 where he returns as Lee Christmas Miracle Code, finds himself pursued by triads, the Russian mob and cops, blah, blah, blah, ex-cage fighter, et cetera.
Who cares?
Then we've got Expendables 2,
where he returns as Lee Christmas.
Garbage.
But after that, we've got Parker.
Yeah, right.
What's the deal with the Parker character, Mason?
Well, Parker's the character played...
He's a...
He's Payback Boy.
Yeah, he's the same character as played by Mel Gibson
in the movie Payback.
There's a series of novels by Richard Stark, I think, isn't there?
And he's like a low-life scumbag criminal.
Great.
I liked the Mel Gibson one.
Is it as good as that one?
Parker.
Yeah.
I've not seen it.
There you go.
You've seen Redemption in 2013?
No!
You've seen Fast and Furious 6?
Yes.
He plays Deckard Shaw, but he's uncredited because he's probably at the end where he's
like, no, it's my turn.
Yeah.
Or Jason Statham.
Homefront.
I'm just burning through these now.
Homefront 2013.
He defriends his family from rednecks or something, probably.
That's what it looks like on the poster.
The Expendables 3, bad.
Wildcard 2015.
He plays Nick Wilde.
But then, he plays a really great role in Spy in 2015.
Yes, he does.
Bless you.
One more time, there we go.
He's very funny.
Yes, he is, isn't he?
Great role.
He's a real highlight of the movie.
Absolute 150% Statham-osity.
Yes. And he's just... Insane. He's a real highlight of the movie. Absolute 150% Statham Ossie.
And he's just... Insane.
He's insane.
And the premise of the character seems to be that he is just...
He's a guy who clearly is telling outrageous lies about his adventures.
Except they're all probably true.
Because he's severely out of his head and we're
probably do all that stuff that's it and after that we got furious seven uh-huh which is a big
key is for me also yep absolutely he's a great villain in that that's the final paul walker one
as well and you think he's in you think he's gonna not return or something but he does then there's
the mechanic resurrection in 2016 which is apparently great i've heard
it opens with a guy he's in a rooftop pool on like the side of a um a building with a glass
floor and he blows the bottom out of it and the guy falls to his death like that's one of the
assassination things that happened i mean that's cool yeah it is cool but it's not like i meant to
watch it before this episode i was hoping to squeeze it in but i didn't get time that's not like well i'm completely safe up here in this
glass pool on a skyscraper you know what i mean i thought he was why would you get in the pool if
you didn't think you were good point good point and last off we got the fate and the furious
and he is probably the best part of that movie also yes he's like the incredible sequence on
the plane where he has to rescue
the baby
and he puts adorable
little baby earmuffs on it.
And he's a good guy now.
Yeah.
They should have given him
Charlize Theron's weird dreads
or whatever was going on there,
didn't they?
Oh yeah, that's right.
Anyway, what a stellar career,
for real.
I'm not being ironic.
I think he's done some great stuff.
I like that he's,
I would say he's kind of
the modern Bruce Willis in a way.
Kind of every man-ish every man-ish
done great stuff
for bald people
yep
what would you say
is his best film though
if you had to pick one
I'd say The Mechanic 2
apparently it's really good
you don't know that
for sure
I'm going to say
The Bank Job
and Death Race
because I feel like
they're two sides
of the same thing
they really are
they show his range
don't they
but you could probably
draw a crank in there yeah I was going to say all right yeah i reckon probably crank yep yeah yeah fair enough
and crank two yeah i'm packaging them together crank and crank two those are your two favorites
as much as i i do enjoy snatch a lot yep uh and i do you like transporter transporter's great but
i'm not sure if it still holds up yeah right it should but look at the time it was great, but I'm not sure if it still holds up. Yeah, right. It should, but look, at the time it was so much fun.
Yes.
But I think with this kind of action movie,
once you've seen those stunts a million times...
Yeah.
...in succeeding movies and...
And done better.
And done better and, like, you know, rip-offs and stuff like that,
they get a bit...
What do you even do, Mason?
Exactly, yeah.
I mean, that's not his fault, is it?
It's hardly his fault. It's not our fault it's hardly his fault it's not our fault though no it's not our fault i'm just to be clear i'm absolving both of
us of all the blame for some of jason statham's movies not holding up good stuff it's never our
fault all right you know what's time for now then oh what we read and what we're gonna read yeah
i'm doing the thing What are we reading
today?
What are you reading?
Well I've just put Parker
on my list
Get into it
On Netflix
I'm going to do
Mechanic 2
Is that also on Netflix?
I'll look it up
Please do
While you're talking about that
I'm going to dip into
the resurrection of Wolverine
He's coming back
Do you know what
his new power is?
What's that?
He's got hot claws Oh I saw that Right Isine, he's coming back. And do you know what his new power is? What's that? He's got hot claws.
Oh, I saw that.
Right.
Is that how he's...
Because the Wolverine...
The last I heard of Wolverine in the comic book Marvel Universe, he was trapped in some
sort of adamantium statue.
Correct.
Is that how he got out of it?
With hot claws?
Well, maybe there was some kind of evolution for him to get out of it.
Yeah.
Yeah, right.
So, potentially.
Okay. But even though there's multiple versions of him running around in the out of it, yeah. Yeah, right. So, potentially. Okay.
But even though there's multiple versions of him running around in the universe.
Oh, because the old man Logan.
There's old man and there's X-23 and whatever.
But I'm interested to see how he comes back.
So, I'm going to be reading Wolverine Hot Claws when it hits shelves.
Wolverine Hot Claws.
Oh, so hot.
Too hot.
That's the slogan.
Claws so hot too hot that's the slogan so hot hey did you see the gameplay footage for doom what's the new one called uh yeah two whatever it is eternal yeah looks great does
it yeah i've seen it yeah this might be the you're getting back into it this might be the game that
gets me to finally buy a ps4 a couple of months before it becomes obsolete.
Absolutely.
Or you could get it on the Switch,
which I'm going to be doing.
I think I know.
It's definitely a graphical downgrade,
but I want it on the go.
Yeah, because see,
now that I finally got a big TV,
I'm like, well, I should probably utilize that.
And I just watch some HD footage on YouTube
and I'm like, that is amazing.
You watched the trailer for Parker, didn't you?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And was it good?
Yeah, it's great.
Are you reading anything else?
I re-watched some of Minority Report.
And?
The special effects do not hold up.
Wow.
It looks so bad.
More like minority...
Retort.
Your movie's bad.
There it is.
There's that minority retort.
Got him.
You got him.
I remember really liking that.
Does it hold up other than that?
Yeah, for the most part yeah yeah
I think the
it was a very
white washed out film
wasn't it
yeah
I think the drama of it
absolutely holds up
yeah
but
the CGI
and the green screen
is
woeful
what about the bit
where he's in the car
and the car's getting built
around him
and you think he's trapped
so bad
he drives away
so bad and there's a bit set on the freeway where he's leap and you think he's trapped. So bad. He drives away. So bad.
And there's a bit set on the freeway where he's leaping from car to car.
It's so terrible.
Jetpacks?
And there's a bit, the jetpacks look terrible.
What about the machine that carves a wood ball that tells you you're a murderer?
Looked bad.
What about the glove that does holograms and you can see the future?
Very bad.
But your next question is, what about the cops?
They have that nightstick and if you slap somebody with it they vomit
that still holds up
that's still great
the six stick
the six stick
yeah it's really good
okay
there was a series
there was a one
there was a one season
we talked about it
when our buddy
Charlie Clawson was on
we talked about
the Minority Report
TV series
which is set
many years after
with one of the
one of the pre- precogs is attempting
to have a normal life
why would you though?
you wouldn't, you'd write a book
you'd appear on Celebrity Big Brother
it's me the precog guy
I'm pretty sure I'm gonna win
vote it out
first round
you know what it's time for now then?
no I don't what hang on bloody
all right hang on do you or do you not know i know it's time for letters but i don't have the
thing queued up okay just hold your bloody horses all right you gotta queue it up i'm working on it
yeah i got so excited thinking about the the precog being on celebrity big brother that's true
would it be better on celebrity big brother or like survivor i don't think they're master chef
i don't think they're survivors yeah thatChef? I don't think they're survivors.
Yeah, that's a good point.
You think they've cooked anything?
I don't think so.
Yeah, I've cooked up all this goop that I live in.
No one wants that.
No one wants that.
The classic one was...
Great stuff, Mason.
Thank you.
Just joking.
You suck at that.
Nailed it every time.
Metal Eugenio's written in.
If you want to reach the show,
actually hashtag Weekly Planet Pod on Twitter
or shoot a Gmail over to...
WeeklyPlanetPod at Gmail.com.
I nearly said Mr. Mason.
That's not it, is it?
No.
Do you want me to go first or do you want to go?
No, you can go first.
Okay, Metal Eugenio.
Written in before says, is movies slash tv reboots just an american thing or does australia also
like rebooting stuff too these days hashtag weekly planet pod i'm trying to think of a
other things are on for 40 years while they're on and then they cancel them forever except for
hey hey saturday yeah right came back and then was racist and then was cancelled again.
I'm trying to think of a rebooted thing.
There was Boney, which was a detective show about an indigenous detective.
I don't know what that is. Okay, never mind.
What about the series Bullworth?
But they just brought back original Bullworth, didn't they?
Did they?
Well, why would you bring back a new Bullworth?
Well, why would you bring back a new Bullworth?
We don't really... I don't think there's a lot of fondly remembered stuff here, though.
No, Prisoner?
Yeah, they might have done that.
I feel like they bring back...
They'll cancel a, like, sale of the century,
and they'll retool it.
Yeah, it's mostly game shows.
It's game shows game shows
which isn't very interesting no i mean whenever they haven't brought back police rescue
they're water rats they haven't brought that back they haven't brought that back all together now
hey dad they haven't brought that back well they can't because the dad was a sex pest and he's in jail now. Yeah, he's a pedophile. Yeah.
Haven't brought back Acropolis now.
They're all alive too.
Yeah.
They're all doing shows
at the comedy festival
where they go off stage
and come back
dressed as their nonna.
That's what all those guys do.
No, I don't...
Look, I think it's inevitable.
Or is it though?
I don't know.
I guess we don't have a culture of that. Not really. Look, that is I think it's inevitable. Or is it, though? I don't know. I guess we don't have a culture of that somehow.
Not really.
Look, that is weird because it's easier than coming up with a new thing.
But also, it's the same cop show anyway.
It doesn't matter.
That's true, yeah.
It's either Police Squad or Police Time or Police John
or Detective fucking Grimface or whatever.
Yeah, it is.
It's whatever, and he's on the force, but he's not happy about it.
Man, I miss police time.
Because you always knew.
When you heard the theme song, it was like, police time.
It's police time.
You know?
And you knew.
But you know what I'm talking about, right?
It's the same shit.
You know what I mean?
Roger Corsner's in half of them good on him
he does good work uh anything else i don't know but i also think like maybe that most of our
dramas and uh you know action shows and stuff like that were just imported from america and the uk
and that sort of thing so that's where the reboots come from. Yeah. Like, I can't, like, proper dramas.
Like, I tried to think, like, maybe Rake with...
Yeah, I like Rake.
Yeah, but I mean, that'll probably get rebooted in 20 years.
Yeah, will it though?
Maybe.
I just typed in Australian TV show reboot and there's nothing.
It just says 10 Aussie shows that deserve a reboot.
Give us some examples.
I can bring that up.
Is one of them Acropolis now?
Is one of them a country practice?
I bet it is.
Alright, over we go. Nobody cares about this.
Oh, I care.
I care and therefore the listener will care.
Alright then. This is taking forever, Mason.
Why is it taking so long? It's been over your video.
All Saints. No.
Which is a hospital drama.
Yeah, Blue Heelers.
Suburban pop drama.
Yeah.
Charlie Clawson was in that.
Oh.
Yeah.
Frontline.
They should bring back Frontline.
Nah, they shouldn't.
It doesn't really work now.
No.
Frontline's great.
McLeod's Daughters.
Another one with Charlie Clawson.
Oh, he's been around, hasn't he?
I thought on Tofop about how to bring that back.
Wow.
Yeah.
Because he plays like the son of of a Kerry Packer type.
Yeah, right.
And he comes to the country to be McLeod's daughter.
So he's been in at least two of these ten.
Yes, if not more, because I'm sure he would have been in more.
Packed to the rafters.
Didn't they just finish?
Nah, it's due for a reboot, though.
Rush.
That's a Roger Korsner one.
That's got...
Korsner, sorry.
Does that have
What's his face in it?
Samuel Johnson
No
Yes it does
Drasic
Yes it's got Drasic
What's his name?
Callum Mulvey
Callum Mulvey
The patron saint of this podcast
Do you remember Sea Patrol?
No
Is that on there?
Yeah
Yeah that's due for a reboot
A show called Sea Patrol.
Lisa McKeown was in it.
That's why they're saying it.
Oh, nice.
Okay.
Summer Heights High.
You're a big fan of that.
Disagree.
I hate it.
And I love how much you hate that show.
It's so outside of what everybody else says about it.
And I love it.
And the last one is The Secret Life of Us, which it's got a lot of familiar faces.
In particular, Claudia Carvin and...
Samuel Johnson.
Yes, but also Joel Edgerton, who's now killing it in Hollywood.
He's in Bright.
He's in Bright, but he's also directing and he's doing a bunch of great stuff.
Yeah, so some of those could come back.
But why?
Like a lot of those... I think Blue Heelers they could definitely bring back. But why? Like a lot of those,
I think there's,
I think Blue Heelers they could definitely bring back.
Okay.
Gritty Reboot.
They could bring back John Woods
and Gritty Reboot
and a bunch of others.
Oh yeah,
and he has to,
he,
it's,
they go and he's in,
like he's,
he's in the city now.
Yes.
And he lives in an apartment
and he's just haunted
by all the stuff that happened
when he,
when he was Blue Heeler.
He lived in Mount Pleasant
or whatever that place is called.
Sure.
You got a letter there?
Okay, this is a letter from Dylan Hall.
By the way, nobody's listening now
because everybody's glued to it.
They want to know about Australian drama.
No, they don't.
This is from Dylan Hall.
He recently went on a 50-mile backpacking trip
through the Wind Rivers.
Through some of the long days of hiking,
he had our podcast to
listen to cool so thanks uh as soon as he wants to thank us for getting through some of the steep
uphill parts of the trip the question he'd like to ask is what is your favorite survival movie
mine's the martian now martian's all right yeah it's good right it's okay it's good it's not great
survival movies yeah have a thing have you ever been a fan of Cast Away?
Not really, no.
Me neither.
Yeah.
I like it, but I don't love it.
You don't love it.
Don't like Gravity.
Don't like Into the Wild because it's a guy being a dickhead.
Yep.
127 Hours?
How do you feel about that one?
It's okay.
It's Franco cutting his own arm off.
I like the grey a lot.
Oh, The Road. It's The Road. Okay, yeah. It's The Road. The Road's amazing. It's an amazing book. It's an cutting his own arm off. I like the grey a lot. Oh, The Road.
It's The Road.
Okay, yeah.
It's The Road.
The Road's amazing.
It's an amazing book.
It's an amazing movie.
All Is Lost is on here as well.
It's a Robert Redford one, which is good.
Mad Max.
Does that really count?
No.
I guess so.
I disagree.
Children of Men is not a survival film.
That's what I thought.
Never seen Apocalypse Doe.
Have you seen that?
No, never.
Yeah.
Anyway, I'm still going with The Martian.
Yeah, cool.
That's a good choice.
It's fun.
It's fun and posy.
I got 28 Days Later on here as well, though. Yes. What do, I'm still going with The Martian. Yeah, cool. That's a good choice. It's fun and posse. I got 28 Days Later
on here as well, though.
Yes.
What do you think
of that, Mason?
Don't mind that.
Don't mind that at all.
Predator.
There's some good ones
on here.
Yeah.
Anyway, do you want me
to do another one
and then we'll wrap it up?
Do another letter
and then I'll do
one more letter.
Some Fallen Knight animations.
Do you think that
the Harry Potter movies
are the best possible version?
Not me.
Four to six have a
lot of lot cut out pensive memories crustaceous curse cruciatus curse the crustacean curse yeah
uh but leaving the ron leave the ron feud in love the show i think there's definitely room to make
that into a series but they won't because the movies are in the continuity of the new current
movies are in the continuity of the new current movies are in
the continuity of the movies right old movies but yeah i think that okay well i've never read the
books so i could not say yeah there's more stuff but again having watched some of these quite
recently they do seem to be improving i do you think they here's the thing do you would do you
think they should if they could do you think they should remake the first couple so they're more in
line with the later ones nah because they're for kids the first one should remake the first couple so they're more in line with the later ones?
Nah.
Because they're for kids, the first ones.
I guess that's true.
Then they're okay.
You can get a grab of them.
So do you feel the ideal way to watch the Harry Potter movies
is start when you're a kid and sort of grow up with the characters?
Okay, right.
Okay, great.
Great stuff.
Because if you watch them all as a kid, you'd kill yourself.
Yeah.
They get real grim.
Yeah, they sure do.
What do you got, Mason?
Okay, this is my last letter.
It's from Mitchell.
Yes.
He has a Batman-related question.
Do you think that Batman keeps snacks in his utility belt?
I think he keeps, like, Hydralite and stuff like that.
Do you think he does?
No.
I think maybe he keeps keeps in the batmobile
okay i think he might have some stuff like what it's a good question raisins what says he he says
does he have a protein bar or a handful of almonds stashed away i don't think he would because he'd
have to keep replacing that yeah alfred would yes now i think he maybe maybe he has like the
solid equivalent of like soylent yeah right yeah right. Like it's just, it just tastes like cardboard, but it never rots away.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
I can, I can understand that.
He's got a little mini fridge.
It's in a little army package.
Yeah.
And in a little fridge in the Batmobile.
Freeze dried.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And he never, and he never has to, and it doesn't, there's no crumbs.
Yep.
Just comes away in chunks.
Yes.
It's horrendous.
It's like an LCM, but it's bad.
But it doesn't weigh you down
because he's got to do a lot of jumping.
Yeah, right.
And he probably...
You have to eat a lot of food, right?
But he also couldn't be too heavy in his tum
because he didn't want to get a stitch when you're running.
Well, now I work out on an empty stomach.
It's way easier.
So do you think he fights crime on an empty stomach?
He might, yeah.
Yeah.
He wouldn't want to have a big bowl of pasta
and then leap from building to building. No, no. He'd vomit? He might, yeah. Yeah. He wouldn't want to have a big bowl of pasta and then leap from building to building.
He'd vomit.
He would, yeah.
He wouldn't want to get drive-thru on that ad.
No, he certainly wouldn't.
He wouldn't eat a burger.
He absolutely not.
It'd kill him.
It probably would.
He's got no body fat and no defences.
That's it.
So do you think he's...
He must be eating a lot.
He must eat like a
bodybuilder though yeah you'd have to right yeah just like chicken and broccoli yeah yeah good on
him yeah i think so too so utility belt full of chicken and broccoli that's where we're going with
his steamed chicken and broccoli but alfred would replace that every day that's what he did have
that he would yeah he wouldn't do it himself but i think you're right i think i think he would
initially yeah but then he'd be like...
You don't even eat this.
You don't eat this, why would I keep replacing it?
And then he would come up with a crafty plan of killing Batman.
Yes.
All right, that's the show for this week, though.
Yeah, it is.
Do you want to ring us home, Mason?
I'll bring us home and ring us home.
Let's see if you want to get in contact with us.
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Is it shaped like his head?
It's too generic.
Is it shaped like Vinnie Jones?
And you crack it open and it's filled with Jason Statham DVDs?
Oh, that'd be so good.
It looks so generic.
I can't even tell what movie
he's from on the cover.
I bet none of them
are like Fast and Furious.
Don't buy that one.
Buy the DVDs individually.
Yeah.
I mean, do what you like. your life yeah uh let's see um thank you to the brute and the basilisk and
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thank you everybody for listening to the show yes that is the number one thing that i should say
first and we also uh we love it when people recommend it to other people as well it really
helps us out so good it's probably the best way to get the word out isn't it yeah like even if
you're recommending it online if you're like to if you're recommending it online, if you're like, to a friend, you put it on their Facebook,
and you're like, do you like this weird crap thing that I like?
Or I'm unfriending you.
Yeah, that's right.
Good stuff.
Next week, we'll do the Meg and maybe something else.
Something else, yeah.
Yeah, we'll see how we go.
Maybe we'll watch another Statham movie,
like one we've never watched before.
Maybe we'll watch London.
London?
Whatever London is.
I'll watch The Mechanic, too.
You watch London.
Okay.
All right, see you next week, guys. Grab that gem, you guys I'll watch The Mechanic too. You watch London. Okay. All right.
See you next week, guys.
Grab that gem, you guys.
We will see you next week.
Have a fun time.
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