The Weekly Planet - 510 Rebel Moon: Part One - A Child On Fire
Episode Date: December 25, 2023The long awaited Zack Snyder's Star Wars is here in the form of Rebel Moon: Part One - A Child of Fire. We review that plus the Jonathan Majors legal case and fallout, more big brands merging, the In...somniac/Spider-Man/Wolverine leak and the reactions to the latest and last DCEU entry, Aquaman 2: The Lost Kingdom. Plus we return to a crowd favourite segment. Thanks for your support and have a Merry Christmas!Vote in The Weekly Planet Awards 2023! Awards survey right here: https://forms.gle/aXmbVC92mRg17JSaANew lets play video and it's a dreadful Aquaman game! Visit bigsandwich.co for a bonus weekly show, lets play videos, exclusive movie commentaries, early stuff and ad-free podcast feeds for $9 per month.Please be aware timecodes may shift due to inserted ads.00:00 The Start02:52 Marvel Fire Jonathan Majors08:14 We Love Big Brands Merging14:40 Huge Insomniac/Wolverine Leak (no spoilers)19:00 Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom Early Reactions (are bad)21:30 Rebel Moon Spoiler Review (main spoilers 38:25 to 47:27)47:27 H8 Mail but the H8 has an 8 in it01:02:55 What We Reading, What We Gonna Read01:07:30 Letters, It's Time For LettersJames' Twitter â–º http://twitter.com/mrsundaymoviesMaso's Twitter â–º http://twitter.com/wikipediabrownMaso's Instagram â–º https://www.instagram.com/nickmaseauThe Weekly Planet Twitter â–º https://twitter.com/theweeklyplanetPatreon â–º https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesTWP iTunes â–º https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-weekly-planet/id718158767TWP Direct Download â–º https://play.acast.com/s/theweeklyplanetTWP YouTube Channel â–º https://goo.gl/1ZQFGHAmazon Affiliate Link â–º https://amzn.to/2QbmwGjT-Shirts/Merch â–º https://www.teepublic.com/stores/mr-sunday-movies Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of The Weekly Weekly Planet where we talk movies and comics and TV shows.
My name is James, also known as Mr. Sunday
and with me as always is my co-host who doesn't have a massive headache, Nick Mason.
Never have, never will.
Whoa!
That's right, brain in perfect working order.
Agreed.
And what a great time for me to bring it up.
And if I did have a headache, it's probably because I was too busy partying last night
and having a cool time. I'm what we call Hoong. Hungover. I've got a hungover. Oh,
no, I'm sorry to hear that. That's what we say. Oh, that is the common Australian expression.
Yes. Now, because you're hungover, we're still going to have to do the podcast, obviously.
I insist on it. I insist when I've got a massive headache, I call you and I'm like,
James, emergency meeting.
We've got to do a podcast.
So are we going to talk about-
It's the only way I'll learn.
If the time goes below, it's the second last episode of the year.
Well, I can skip to the end when I don't have a headache.
That's true.
We could.
Well, you've had some Panadol, so you're going to be ramping up as we go.
I don't know.
Big time.
Big time.
Trust me, everybody.
I've got a crook neck, James.
Oh, I've got a crook neck too, Mason.
The Panadol doesn't usually work.
Oh, do you want a heat pack?
No, I tried a heat pack earlier. It didn't work either. Do you want a cool pack? I tried a cool pack earlier. Do you want me to crickok neck, James. Oh, I've got a crook neck too, Mason. The panadol doesn't usually work. Oh, do you want a heat pack? No, I tried a heat pack earlier.
It didn't work either.
Do you want a cool pack?
I tried a cool pack earlier.
Do you want me to crick your neck?
Yes.
Get me like I'm a security guard in a movie
and they're trying to show how the boss's henchman is the tough guy
and he'd just snap.
Yeah, all right.
I can do that.
Yeah, nice.
Twist my head all the way around.
So here's what we're covering before we get to the big,
big topic of the week, Mason.
Jonathan Majors dropped from Marvel.
That's big news, isn't it?
Big news.
Great.
Love to talk about that.
We've got big mergers happening potentially.
Oh.
James Gunn talks about what's happening in the DCU
with one particular aspect of it.
Oh.
Yes.
We said a bunch of stuff this week.
There was a big leak at Insomniac Games.
I don't know if you saw that.
Big leak.
I didn't see the big leak.
Yeah.
We won't go into some specifics. No. Yeah,. I don't know if you saw that. Big leak. This is a big leak, yeah. We won't go into some specifics.
No, yeah, but it's all available if you want to.
But no, we're talking general.
We're talking general, Mason.
That's right.
Aquaman 2 isn't out in Australia.
It's out this week coming.
So we're going to have to – we'll talk a little bit about its dismal opening.
That's right.
And then next week I'll make my neck all crook
and I'll get a horrible, horrible migraine
and then we can talk about it.
Finally.
Finally we'll talk about it next week, yeah.
But we are, of course, going to be talking about Rebel Moon Part 1,
A Child of Fire.
Might be partly to blame for my migraine.
Yeah, because it was so visually interesting.
That's right.
And narratively dense.
Narratively dense and original.
Dense and original.
My brain hurts from the originality.
And there also might be a little bonus section that people enjoy
that only pops up every few months.
Not even.
I'd hate to spoil it here.
Is it hate mail?
I'd hate to spoil it.
Oh.
Is it hate mail message?
No, it is.
It is.
You told me earlier.
I'd hate to spoil it, though.
It is, though.
No, I'll spoil it.
I don't care.
Did I mention time codes below? You did. You should have. You should have. He puts'd hate to spoil it, though. It is, though. No, I'll spoil it. I don't care. Did I mention time codes below?
You did.
You should have.
He puts them in there.
Okay, here we go.
Okay, so Jonathan Majors has been dropped from Marvel,
but it's not for no reason.
Here's what happened.
He was found guilty of assault in the third degree
while recklessly causing physical injury,
as well as guilty of harassment in the second degree,
but he was also found not guilty on assault in the third degree
with intent to cause physical injury
and not guilty of aggravated harassment in the second degree. That he was also found not guilty on assault in the third degree with intent to cause physical injury and not guilty of aggravated harassment in the second degree.
That's a lot of stuff.
Certainly is.
So there is a very slim chance that he could go to jail for this.
It's unlikely to happen.
Yeah.
It's also interesting because I would assume that there would be
an opportunity to appeal here.
Yeah.
I think there is.
But Marvel have chosen.
I mean, it makes sense that Marvel have chosen not to drop him
before the verdict came out because what if he was exonerated
and then they would look quite foolish.
Exactly.
So now they can just go, yep, okay, done.
We'll talk about other reasons why that might be the case.
And on top of this, if you've been following this,
there's some pretty crook text messages back and forth about requesting that she cover up salt it seems as if and and some
phone recordings which are very odd and i don't want to get into all of it but look i think marvel
obviously they they calculated the risk associated with this they looked at the villain kang and what
kind of numbers it would do whether they kept him him or not, and they obviously just went,
no, we're just going to cut this and move on.
So Deadline confirmed that, yes, he has been fired from Marvel.
There's no word on yet on whether this character is going to be recast,
but I would say just don't.
Just do another thing, anything, another guy dynasty.
Avengers.
Duck dynasty.
Well, Avengers Kang Dynasty, whatever it's called,
is now just called Avengers 5.
Great name.
Yeah.
So that will become something else.
There's various rumors this week that, like,
we're going to be getting X-Men versus Avengers, World War Hulk,
Midnight Suns.
There's been a bunch of stuff.
Honestly, for a second there, I thought you said Midnight Suns.
Midnight Suns!
That's what you yell to your sons.
That's right.
Get them to take it out.
When you're scrambling for some ideas in the office
and you remember, on top of everything else,
you forgot to take the bits out.
That's right.
Midnight Suns.
Now, all these rumors that have come out from various sources,
it's pretty much just every major marvel comic book event yeah which is what they're i mean regardless of which of this is true
it's definitely what they're doing or have been doing just going through everything what characters
do we have who can direct this what's a tv show what's a special what's a movie what can be
avengers thing who's the other guy we can get in to shoot a big laser at the Avengers? Whoever they are.
What can we do besides what we need to do, which is to get some professional writers
in here and write something original?
Yeah, sure.
Absolutely.
What can we mine?
What IP do we have that we can mine title only?
Yeah.
And move forward from there.
So, yeah, I would say as a result of this, the Avengers movies are probably going to
be pushed again. Yep, probably yes also like we've talked about this like the kang storyline
has been pretty much wrapped up anyway yes so they were clearly prepping for to do this like
months ago probably maybe even over a year ago mason who knows the timeline of anything
especially in the mcu am i right? Actually, no, I don't.
I don't know.
We recently recorded, oh, we shan't be saying,
a caravan of garbage for the start of next year. Yeah.
And some little.
Some timeline inaccuracies.
Some timeline issues.
Who's to say what it is?
No spoilers.
Now I read today that, and it was probably on like discussing film
on Twitter or something like that.
Oh, my God.
That Marvel are back in talks with Mads Mikkelsen.
Did you see that?
Oh, to bring back Kassilius.
No, for a new role.
Doctor Doom?
Might be Doctor Doom.
He's got a Doom-like vibe, doesn't he?
Well, because he could do that because Doctor Doom's in a mask.
Kassilius had a ponytail and eyes.
He should have.
An eye situation.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So he could easily do that.
Doom almost certainly does not have a ponytail.
No.
Well, we don't know.
That's true.
He's got that hood, doesn't he?
Yeah, he might.
He's got the mask and the hood.
Might have a beautiful ponytail.
I'd forgotten.
Sometimes he goes to put the mask down and the ponytail, like,
whips in front of him and he locks it in place and he's like,
well, there's no time now.
Oh, no.
And hasn't that got, like, a 24-hour lock on it as well?
Yeah.
Yep, it does.
It does.
That must be incredibly exotic.
Yeah.
I don't know i mean is there so
many of these like immortal timeless intergalactic dudes they could pick from yeah you could pick any
of them it doesn't it doesn't really matter that's true ultimately and well most of the villains also
previously have just been cgi guys so i'd imagine that the big ones at least, like, you know, I guess Red Skull's not CGI
in the original Captain America, but like Thanos, for example, all his mates, Ultron,
I guess Loki, again, Loki's not, this, my theory isn't holding up entirely.
I'll be perfectly honest with you.
Sure, sure, sure.
But maybe they're just going to go with a big CGI guy and then they can just use a voice
actor who's relatively known.
Well, I mean, Mads Mikkelsen could do voice only for Doctor Doom.
You know, they could be like, well, his visage, his visage, visage, it's too terrifying for
anyone to lay eyes on.
Yeah.
And he locked his helmet in.
He locked his helmet in.
He can't take it off.
He can't take it off.
He'll take his whole head off.
He doesn't want that.
Yeah.
So there you go.
We'll find out what's happening there going forward.
What an exciting time to be a comic book movie fan.
Absolutely.
Finally. The best times are still ahead of us as far as What an exciting time to be a comic book movie fan. Finally.
Our best times are still ahead of us as far as I'm concerned.
Seems that way, doesn't it?
Yep, yep, yep, yep.
And speaking of, Mason, we haven't done this segment in a few months.
Big brands merging.
It's our favorite thing.
We love it.
This is a segment of the show where one brand buys another brand or they merge or whatever.
This is via Variety slash.
We call it sexy synergy.
Oh, my goodness.
Variety and axios have
said this so warner brothers discovery ceo david zazlav normal man very paramount global ceo bob
back is probably also normal yeah i don't know anything about that guy he's a bob yeah and he's
an executive of a huge media company so probably normal probably normal they met with each other
on tuesday new york city to discuss ways their companies could complement one another now Probably normal. Probably normal. They met with each other on Tuesday in New York City
to discuss ways their companies could complement one another.
Now, apparently Paramount Plus is in.
May I?
Yeah.
Do you think all the executives named Robert,
do you think they have consultants who are like,
you should call yourself Bob?
It's more relatable.
Oh, they might, yeah.
Because Bob Iger used to be Robert Iger.
They used to call him Robert Iger. That's true.
No, you're absolutely right.
So yeah, as a result of that, it looks
Davy Zaslav. Davy Z.
You'd like him if he was
called Davy Z. That's a rebrand that I can get behind.
Absolutely, yeah. No doubt Davy Z
could also. The Z-Man.
Z-Bomb.
Apparently Paramount is not
good. The Z-Word? The Z-Word. Yeah, that's fine. Paramount is not good. The Z-word?
The Z-word.
Yeah, that's fine.
Paramount's not good at the moment.
But this would mean also that they would have,
Warner Brothers would have, in addition to everything else,
the Addams Family, Beverly Hills Cop, Crocodile Dundee.
Oh, no!
Friday the 13th, G.I. Joe, The Godfather.
Yeah, we need more of that.
Indiana Jones.
Oh, well, Disney's sort of, I don't know how that works.
They have the film rights to Transformers.
Top Gun, Transformers, Ninja Turtles, Terminator, Star Trek,
The Ring, Rugrats, Puppet Toons.
Oh, my God, I can't wait for The Ring and Rugrats to cross over.
Did I say Mission Impossible?
No.
Did you say Mission Impossible?
There it is, yeah.
So, yeah, it's just there's a lot of stuff here going on.
A lot of stuff to cancel for a tax.
Oh, absolutely.
This is absolutely rife for cancelling a bunch of this.
Yeah.
And, again, an enormous merger like this, it's just for cancelling stuff
and firing people.
Of course it is, yeah.
Downsizing.
Yeah, it's downsizing and it's like, well, we cut a lot of expenses.
Yep.
You know?
Yeah.
This quarter, shareholders. So that's cool. Yep. You know? This quarter.
Shareholders.
So that's cool.
Yeah.
We think it is cool.
We don't like anything.
We just like yachts.
Not so boring.
Yeah.
Just live in a house.
What's wrong with you?
Should they also live in a house?
Yeah, but they'd stay there, all right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Such a deal would – this is my THR.
Such a deal would likely attract less Such a deal
Yeah, regulatory scrutiny
Than other potential mergers
With Warner Brothers Discovery
Lacking any domestic broadcast network
And with mostly synergistic businesses
The biggest source of friction
Would be combining two legacy film and TV studios
The idea behind this also is
That if you combined all their subscribers
With Max and Paramount
It would rival that of Netflix
Right, okay Which is also They want a bigger content bin Of course they do, yes that if you combined all their subscribers with Max and Paramount, it would rival that of Netflix.
Right, okay.
Which is also, they want a bigger content bin.
Of course they do, yes.
Right.
I know some people are championing this and whatever.
I don't know why.
I mean, it's pretty fucking dire.
Isn't Discovery swallowing? I think most people, it would be crossover potential
and it would be I can cancel one streaming service.
Yeah, that's true. Or maybe they could can cancel one streaming service. Yeah.
That's true.
Or maybe they could just cancel one but you double the price of the one that's left.
Hell yeah.
Or triple.
Triple it.
That's fine.
Triple it.
Maybe you make a –
You could call it Davey Z's triple play.
Yeah, man.
You triple the price of your streaming service.
Or you pay slightly less and it's black and white.
Not that.
Or slightly more and it's black and white. Sure. that. Slightly more and it's black and white?
Sure, that's good too.
And there's ads.
Oh, I'd like that.
Yeah, it's got the Snyder bars down the side.
Oh, my goodness.
Do you have to pay more for that or less?
Yeah, we have to.
It's more cinematic.
It's taller.
It's taller, Mason.
So, yeah, that's just another thing that probably –
I think also it was Zaslav had to wait a couple years
because there was some kind of regulatory thing that had happened and he was like,
no, no, we're not interested in doing that.
And as soon as that time went up, he's like, okay.
Actually, we are.
We are going to do this.
Brand new idea.
Yeah.
Oh, you know what he could call his, he could say his ideas
are coming from the ZazLab.
Oh, okay.
He could be like, new idea from the ZazLab, firing a thousand people
and people would be like, whoa.
Is that us?
Maybe, but it's from the Zaz Lab.
That's pretty cool.
He'd wear a lab coat.
He could, yeah, yeah.
One of those mirrored things.
Yeah, absolutely.
You know?
Yeah, carry a clipboard, looks busy.
Looks busy.
Carry two big foaming beakers.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he could smash them together and be like,
this whole division's fired from the Zaz Lab.
Davey Z. It's a yacht, division's fired from the Zaz Lab. Davey Z.
It's a yacht, isn't it, his Zaz Lab?
It is a yacht.
It's several yachts moored together.
Great.
So, you know, this might not happen.
I saw a bunch of people say also, when do regulatory bodies step in?
At what point are they like, hey?
Apparently they did recently i saw
on twitter what some somebody was suggesting that there there was a recent attempt at a merger
that didn't go through so great i i would i would also argue that whatever that is it's temporary
yeah of course yes until a uh a more agreeable senator congressman chair of the sec or the media someone you can buy exactly yeah yeah
yeah absolutely that's fun uh yes why are you doing that just quickly uh by the this is by
james gunn on um on his social media platform i love james gunn um for now for now he's uh he
said matt reeves he says i didn't like him for that middle period where he said all those rude
tweets he did do some rude tweets didn't't he? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now I like him again. We love Matt as a director, as in Matt
Reeves, because he's doing the Batman and producer.
So he'll be producing stories both within
the Batman universe and within the DCU.
So apparently there's an
Arkham series that he's working on which is going to
be within the DCU. Right. So he's also going to
be doing the Batman and the
Penguin spin-off, which is coming out next year
apparently at some point.
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, yeah, there you go.
Keep him on board.
I like him.
I like his Batman movie.
Give him another Batman movie.
For now?
Yeah, I like him for now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Did you find that merger?
No.
Are you searching Twitter?
Yeah.
Forget it.
I think I probably would have tweeted it to myself.
Tweet something to yourself, at Nick Mason.
No, I emailed the tweet to myself. I haven't found it. I have not tweeted it to myself. You tweet something to yourself, at Nick Mason. No, I emailed the tweet to myself.
I haven't found it.
I have not found it.
Oh, my God.
Paramount has a hand on the Jack Ryan franchise.
Oh, my God.
Which is now like a poor man's Jack Reacher franchise.
Mason, another bit of news.
There was a big leak over at Somniac Games who recently released
Spider-Man 2.
I'm not going to spoil any of the stuff that's upcoming.
Well, I guess I am a little bit.
Generalities.
I mean.
Generalities.
But also, again, people have got to remember the lot of this is like
what they call a pre-alpha.
Yeah.
So it's like.
And it's stuff.
One of them is like they're making Spider-Man 3.
And it's like, yeah, of course they are.
And there was going to be a Spider-Man multiplayer situation there.
And, yeah, like it's not stuff like here's the Spider-Man 3 game
and here's what happens at the end of it or anything like that.
It's just kind of.
Though there is for one of the games.
Is there?
Yeah.
Was it Kill the Justice League?
Are they doing that?
No, they're not doing that.
But there is spoilers for that, I think.
There is.
That's a different spoiler that's happening.
So the hackers asked for $2 million all in Bitcoin apparently.
So there's a Spider-Man spin-off game, which I guess I won't spoil here.
In the same vein as Miles Morales, there was a Miles Morales spin-off game.
Spider-Man 3, they're going to do Ratchet and Clank in 2029.
Gang-kid matches.
Yeah, man.
And also, we already know this, but there's a Wolverine game
that they're making in 2026, and that probably got the biggest leak
in terms of what's happening in it.
There's gameplay, there's cut scenes, there's huge story spoilers.
I saw some of the gameplay footage.
It's like a third person.
Yeah, there's.
I mean, it looks pretty cool.
There is, there's characters that are going to be in it
and whether they're playable or not.
Liam McIntyre.
Who's that?
He's second Spartacus.
That's right.
Who I know, who I used to know, who he definitely wouldn't recognize me,
but he's Wolverine. I quite like that casting. I think that's right. Who I know, who I used to know, who he definitely wouldn't recognize me. But he's Wolverine.
I quite like that casting.
I think that's great.
He's also in the CW, I think.
Yeah, he's Weather Wizard 2.
He's Weather Wizard, yeah.
One of the Weather Wizards, yeah.
Weather Wizard 2.
But he's got the mutton chops.
He certainly does.
Okay, that's cool.
He could pull it off.
I mean, they could use computer graphics to do that in the game if you're worried.
Even if he didn't have his mutton chops.
Even if he forgot to put on his mutton chops that day they could put them on using computers and i think
that's cool you're playing his mutton chops are fake because he puts them on everybody yes i am
yeah oh my god yeah that's right you can tell him next time yeah that was in the leak actually
wasn't it yeah that's right yeah yeah oh they released a statement saying like about the
game we're just we're gonna move forward still we're still gonna hit the release date i mean
i didn't read any of the story spoilers.
Also, if I did, I'd forget anyway by the time that rolls around.
You know, 2026.
Who knows?
I'll be dead.
It doesn't matter.
That's exactly right.
You know, go on.
Yeah, it doesn't matter.
Don't even worry about it.
I was going to say he's got.
Oh, do you think they have Wolverine in Hell where I'm going?
Wolverine video game?
I think they only have Wolverine in Hell.
But it's like a Game Boy one.
Oh, no.
Yeah, that's right.
And you lose
energy when you put your claws out. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, that's right. You put your claws
out and then you start constantly losing energy until
you retract it. That was like the game Viking Child.
Do you ever play that on the Atari Lynx? I played the Lost
Vikings. John's talking about that right now, actually.
Wow. Yeah. Anyway, you were
saying something before you started talking about the
Lost Vikings for some reason.
Nobody brought that up.
Lost Viking heads, email in.
Let me know you like the Lost Vikings.
Don't do it.
You were three different Vikings with three different skills.
Don't do it.
Come on.
I was going to say he's got like, it's one of the games where it actually makes sense that he has like a detective vision skill thing.
Yeah, because he can smell and see.
He can do a big sniff.
Yeah.
It is smell-o-vision. It's smell-o-vision see. You can do a big sniff. Yeah. It is smell of vision.
It's smell of vision.
We got that.
Finally.
Yes.
Finally.
I smell crime.
I think so.
I can recreate the crime using smell.
It was Sabretooth.
Yeah, that's right.
The other thing that they released is a bunch of personal information
of employees.
Well, that's rude.
Which is very uncool.
I mean, the first bit wasn't cool either.
No, I know, but I think that in particular is the most uncool thing, I feel.
Now, recently the GTA hacker was sentenced to life in a hospital prison at age 18.
Forever, right?
Yeah.
So apparently it was because he was just going to keep doing it, so they wrecked him.
Give him a job in the NSA or something.
What are you doing?
Give him a gun.
Give him a gun and a job in the NSA or something. What are you doing? Give him a gun. Give him a gun and a job at the NSA.
But apparently he can, like they arrested him and he continued to hack,
even though they took all his computers away.
He did it with like an Amazon Fire Stick and a bad attitude.
And a bad attitude and like a, yeah, crazy.
So, yeah, so I don't know if that guy's going to be in jail for life,
but at this point he looks like he will be.
Anyway, don't hack.
It's not cool, man.
Sometimes it's cool.
I guess sometimes it can be cool, but in this case it wasn't cool.
I didn't like it.
Last bit of news, Mason.
Aquaman the Lost Boys.
What's it called?
Kingdom of Wet.
That's the new Aquaman called.
The Lost Kingdom, I think?
Maybe.
Yeah.
It seems to be a disaster.
The Last Kingdom?
It's got a low opening weekend that looks to be rivaling that
of the lowest movies of this year.
But they put on such a marketing blitz.
They didn't even do a red carpet.
They got Jason Momoa and Patrick Wilson to do a little dance,
which I loved and you were indifferent towards.
I was.
You know they cancelled the red carpet.
Yeah.
They had some fan screenings, I think.
Yeah, a few of those.
So critically panned.
Most of the responses that people have is like the most positive I've seen
is it's okay.
Great.
Terrific.
So, yeah, that is all 16 whatever it is, D-C-U-E movies,
whatever it's called.
16?
Really?
Yeah, I saw a grid.
Oh, I love that.
Nice.
I love that.
I mean, it was Justice League twice, whatever it was.
Oh, yeah, of course.
And Suicide Squad twice.
So that's good.
But, yeah, I mean, you know, how else was it going to go, really?
Really well.
This was always going to be the way.
James Gunn even talked about this week,
it's a good thing that they're taking like a year at least between movies.
So the next movie will be Superman in 2025.
Okay, sure.
What are we going to do in the meantime?
Watch other movies.
Oh, yeah.
There are tons of those, aren't there?
So many movies, Mason.
Oh, my God, and some of them are really good.
Yeah, often they are.
I could re-watch some of the movies that I've already seen that are really good.
Rebel Moon.
I guess I could.
You could re-watch that at any point.
It's on Netflix.
And soon there'll be a new version.
Rebel 2.
It's better.
It's 2.
Oh, yeah, nice.
Did you notice they used the Star Wars Rebel Assault fonts for their titling?
No.
Not Rebel Assault, Dark Forces.
I didn't notice that.
It's the same thing, Mason.
Right, interesting.
Look at this.
Look at this, Mason.
James, save it for your review, mate, all right?
This is it.
We're in it.
Oh, no.
Look at this.
It's the same. It's the same.
It is the same.
It's also similar.
Wait, are you sure?
Even the edges?
Bring up that Rebel Moon font.
God, you're so picky.
Yeah, I know.
You sound like, oh, it's not exact.
James, that's what a review is.
It's being picky.
This isn't the review.
I've changed my mind.
Because you're being...
I'm being questioned.
Because you're being destroyed in the quote tweets.
I am, actually.
Yeah.
I'm being eaten alive.
They're eating my goddamn ass, being destroyed in the quote tweets. I am, actually. Yeah. I'm being eaten alive. They're eating my goddamn ass, Mason.
In the quote tweets.
It's close-ish.
It is close-ish.
I knew it.
I knew the kerning would be different.
I'm going to kern you in a second out of this fucking room.
Should we talk about Rebel Moon?
Yeah.
Do you have any more news?
Yeah.
It's about Rebel Moon, though.
Oh, right.
Great.
We'll do it in the Rebel Moon section.
Okay.
Terrific.
That's great.
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Rebel Moon Part 1, A Child on Fire.
Oh, yes.
It's finally...
Eee!
Ah!
I don't like that.
It's finally...
I was just at the playground.
This is so uncool.
Yeah, that is uncool, actually.
Now, finally, people are waiting. When was just at the playground. This is so uncool. Yeah, that is uncool actually. Now finally people are waiting.
When was the next Zack Snyder project?
The last one he did was also a Netflix project.
It was Zombies in Vegas.
Zombies in Vegas, that's right.
Which also got a prequel and then they stopped.
Did he have, was he, he would have been a producer on Zombies in Vegas
before the Zombies but he's a safe cracker.
Yeah, I assume so.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That guy's very famous apparently. He is, apparently. In the Netherlands or something. We don't know him. We don't knowcracker. Yeah, I assume so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That guy's very famous. He is.
Apparently.
Apparently.
In the Netherlands or something.
We don't know him.
We don't know him, though.
We don't know him.
We don't know him.
What now?
Your move, Danish guy.
Whatever you are.
Super famous Danish guy.
On a budget of $188 million.
Now, that's shared between the two Rebel Moon properties.
Okay, sure.
You can just specify.
So a child on fire and Rebel Moon 2, we finally put the child out.
Yeah, but it's not looking good.
No.
No, even with our space medicine or spedison as we call it.
Thank you.
Now, we'd call it medicine, wouldn't we?
Yeah, they just call it regular medicine.
Regular medicine, yeah.
Regular medicine.
For where we are.
Which is the future or another galaxy or something.
Yeah.
Because it's Star Wars, but is it sort of, yes.
Anyway, Mason, what do you think the story was?
Oh, come on, mate. My head, you what do you think the story was? Come on, mate.
My head, you know?
He's up, mate.
Come on.
This is easy because Anthony Hopkins, when the movie opens,
he tells you what's happening.
That's true.
He does, doesn't he?
He goes, in the galaxy of Flim Flam, there's an ancient race
of whatever the fuck, and the king, he was like, I'm going to do it.
And there was a thousand years of kings, and they were all cool,
but then another guy shows up probably
and he's like, oh, I don't like this, so I'm going to take over probably,
maybe, and then the king's like, well, as long as you're not a space Nazi,
but then they are.
Yeah.
But then everybody's like, well.
Pretty grim.
Pretty grim.
Pretty grim stuff.
And then, but it's okay because you just hang out on your little planet
and you do little farming stuff.
Yeah.
But then maybe the Nazis show up in Glorious Bastards style.
They do that.
They do exactly that.
They do in Glorious Bastards on your village,
on your small Norwegian space village.
That's exactly right.
Yep.
Yep.
And then, but then.
How are you going to get out of it?
Well, maybe, I don't know, because you're just a girl, aren't you?
What if you're just a girl and they're all like,
we're going to get you.
You're a girl.
You're a girl and we're men.
And we move at a regular speed.
We move at a regular speed.
What are you going to do?
Are you going to spin around in slow motion and shoot us all?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, she did.
Whoa.
Yeah.
We underestimated.
That's right.
We wouldn't even be saying that because we're all dead.
Yeah, we're actually all dead.
Yeah, yeah.
If anyone even cares.
And then she says, I'm going to do a Seven Samurai all up in here right now
with shades of every other movie you've ever seen.
That's right.
And when I say shades, just scenes from other movies.
Scenes from other movies, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
What did you think?
I wish I loved this.
I know.
Because the narrative of Zack Snyder is that he was a hot,
up-and-coming filmmaker and he was kind of raw and he's got some cool ideas
and cool visual styles and he's adapted comic books and he's done a couple
of things that were maybe not well received,
but maybe that's because of studio interference.
Sure, yeah.
Or it's sucker punch.
Yeah, exactly.
There's budget constraints and, you know,
he's just adapting an existing property and you've got
to follow the constraints of what the suits say or whatever.
But now apparently he has essentially an unlimited budget.
He's got creative freedom.
It's an original story that he has had a big part in developing.
He can hire anyone he wants, including all his friends.
Yep.
This should be the one where you go, great, I see why everybody is raving about this guy because now that he's had the chance
to spread his wings and do whatever he wants, this is great.
Yep.
But it's just bits of other movies.
It really is.
Yeah.
And just the idea that, like, listen, we're going to do Star Wars,
but we're going to do it real and adult.
No.
It feels just like Star Wars.
But not as good as Star Wars?
If this got released as a Disney Star Wars movie,
everyone would fucking hate this.
Yeah.
We'll break it apart, I guess, in spoilers, but we get Star Wars,
obviously, we get Inglourious Basterds, we get Avatar.
Yep.
We get Chronicles of Riddick. Chronicles of Riddick. There's some Warhammer. Dune. Dune, get Star Wars, obviously. We're getting Glorious Bastards. We get Avatar. Yep. We get.
Chronicles of Riddick.
Chronicles of Riddick.
There's some Warhammer. Dune.
Warhammer 40,000 in here.
Seven Samurai, Magnificent Seven, Bug's Life.
Yep, sure.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
It's all the same.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Just, I mean, I know we said Star Wars, but the cantina scene from Star Wars.
They just do that, don't they?
They just do.
It's just in there.
Yeah.
I don't like, and there's Solo with the spider.
Oh, yeah, there's a spider.
There's a big spider person.
Yeah.
Wait, is there a spider in Solo?
The guy at the start, the one who's like, you know.
The worm that he throws the rock?
Is that a spider or a worm?
Where she's like, ah, Solo, what are you doing here?
Yes, that one.
That's a worm. Oh, okay, right. And doing here? Yes, that one. That's a worm.
Okay, right.
And I apologize.
Yeah, man.
I've got a headache.
Don't blame me.
Spider and a worm.
Yeah.
It's basically the same around here.
All worms turn into spiders, don't they?
That's true.
They grow a cocoon and then they turn into a spider.
And then spiders turn back into worms.
That's so true.
And et cetera.
It's the circle of life.
Yeah.
We all know.
Yes.
I thought, honestly, when it started off, I was like, okay,
I like Sofia Batola.
I can kind of get behind this, like living in a village and whatever
and she's trying to live her life.
And I'm like, okay, I've seen versions of this, but, you know, okay.
All right, weird space universe.
Let's see how weird it gets.
The weirdest thing is probably alien tentacle pornography at one point.
Sure, yeah, yeah.
It's probably the most out there kind of thing in this movie.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, of course, yeah.
But even then it's like, okay.
But then like there's moments where she's, there's lots of like,
I was a child of war.
I was raised under the iron fist of space fascism
and I became the ultimate weapon for the blah, blah, blah.
Fuck, Jesus.
That's Warhammer 40,000.
God damn it, man.
To the point where like, I'll look it up, but in Warhammer 40,000. God damn it, man. To the point where like I'll look it up, but in Warhammer 40,000
like everything has a Latin name.
Yeah.
And it's the same with this.
They're like the Militaris Estadius or whatever.
And it's like cool, man.
Yeah.
You could have come up with a really interesting new thing,
but you didn't.
And there's like when the space Nazis come into a Christoph Waltz
in Glorious Bastards in the village, like there's that.
Ed Screen.
Ed Screen comes up and he goes, hello, I'm Ed Screen.
I was in Game of Thrones and I left Game of Thrones
and the guy who played my character in Game of Thrones
after I left Game of Thrones, he's also here in this village.
That's true, yeah.
That's fun.
But now on opposite sides.
Oh, no.
And that's.
Meta.
It's meta.
And it's thematic, isn't it?
Probably.
Yeah.
But so then, and there's just a scene where like
she's going to leave because she's like you know they run from the imperialists oh yeah also she
she was in the she was in the imperial military what have you and then she's settled down as his
life is this farm person they've shown up so she has no like we love you you love farming why don't
you learn to love and she's like i'm only from war that's right i don't have time to learn to
i loved once and then he got shot and I was like, ah, fuck.
Better do some farming, I guess.
But there's a moment where like.
But I can't have a farm, you know?
Absolutely.
Where like she's going to leave because you can't fight the imperialists,
whatever they're called.
Also, no aesthetic on those villains.
What are we, what's that?
Nazis.
Turtle costumes and weird bubble ships.
Like nothing that I could really, I don't know.
I know they were sort of stormtroopers, but not really.
You probably could have made them all robots.
It probably would have been more effective.
Anyway, so she's got to gather a, she's like, well, I'm i'm gonna gather a seven samurai that's after there's a scene where they're like we're
gonna rape this girl and she's like i'll stop that i was gonna leave but now i'm i'm gonna
spin around in slow motion yeah so there's i hold my gun to the side like nobody's done in like 15
years that happens and i'm like oh yeah i've seen this a million fucking times and i never liked it
but here it is again sure um but yeah so so then it becomes you see the name of a planet
and it's the moon of fucking whatever and then you land there
and they're like, where's this guy?
And he's like, I'm here.
And she's like, why don't you come and defend a village?
I don't have much money.
Well, I don't want to.
But what if you did?
What if you believed in something?
Well, I guess I'm in then.
What if we did that seven times?
What if you were like all sarcastic
and you didn't believe in anything but then I was solemn
and sincere and you went, it's a good point actually.
And that's the other thing about this movie.
I would like to get shot in the head by a battle cruiser in space.
I would like to risk everything for grain when I couldn't,
I could otherwise not do that.
All right, great.
And that's the other thing, right right it's so fucking dour and i don't just mean like where are the jokes yeah i
mean as in like this is dry and cliche you yeah i was gonna say dreary and dour yeah and again not
i don't need star wars or guardians the galaxy's like dune is fucking like serious as shit, man. It's the dumbest concept and it's very serious and it works.
And this just feels sad.
But not sad as in like, oh, this is so sad.
It's more just like what a sad, I don't know.
It's so sad that I have to spend an evening watching this.
That's why it's so sad.
So the entire movie is pretty much collecting seven people
from seven different planets.
Yeah, it's not a finished movie.
It's not a movie.
Yeah.
And, like, so it could have been a series.
That should have been 20 minutes, 20 minutes of collecting the crew.
Yeah, right.
And then it should have been, I don't know, anything.
And you know what?
It should have started with something too.
It doesn't start with anything.
Starts with a horse, a space horse. If you're going to be should have started with something too. It doesn't start with anything. Starts with a horse?
A space horse?
If you're going to be like, well, this is Star Wars,
but for people who are sick and tired of Star Wars,
first Star Wars starts with the Star Destroyer coming down
and there's...
Doesn't have to be that.
Doesn't have to be that.
I mean, a ship does come out of a big space vagina.
That's true.
That's something, isn't it?
That's true and that's thematic.
It is, probably. Yeah, it is.
Probably.
Yeah.
Yeah, but no, I agree.
Yeah.
But it's just, I feel like you pick them up,
it takes 20 minutes or whatever,
and then instead of them explaining their stories,
well, I used to work for them and now I work for myself.
Well, work for me, I'll do it.
Instead of that, why not have like you collect them all
and then they talk and they interact and they bicker and they bond
and that's how you get to know them.
Because once they pick up a character, they fucking disappear.
They do, yeah.
Because then they go and pick up the next one.
Okay, so there's a moment in it.
You mentioned earlier there's a scene where the soldiers
on the farm planet, they're like they've got a girl
and they're going to have their way with this girl
and then our hero's got to come in and stop them.
And then there's like a private in the military and he takes one
of the guys out and I'm like, oh, that guy's going to be on the team.
He'll be on the team.
And then later I'm like, was he on the team?
Has he come with them?
I don't know because none of these people are particularly memorable, honestly.
Which is weird because they've all got very distinct looks
and I know all of the actors, I think, pretty much.
But, yeah.
And I didn't find any of the planets interesting.
I thought visually also just not great.
And that's kind of the thing that he excels at.
But I feel like it didn't feel big and scoped.
There's a scene where they go to a planet.
I don't know if you remember this.
They go to a planet and it's sort of a, I don't know,
it's quite an industrial planet.
And so it's like you see these kind of like they look like half-finished
high-rises and they're all kind of very sort of steampunk-ish.
And I'm like, this is not bad.
But then I'm like, looks like a video game.
Like it just looks like any video game set in a Gears of War
cyber steampunk future.
Looks like the video game Vanquish.
Third person, whatever.
I remember.
No, it didn't look like Vanquish.
It's a good game.
It didn't look like Vanquish.
Vanquish at night?
Yeah.
Great.
Vanquish if you squint.
Yeah, absolutely.
So I think the one that I enjoyed the pickup was when they fought
the big spider.
Sure.
Spider lady.
Even that, because the spider lady comes down and she's kidnapped
a child because the reason is because down and she's kidnapped a child
because the reason is because her eggs aren't hatching anymore.
I think it's Jenna Malone also.
I don't know.
Oh, yeah, right.
And so she's kidnapped a human child to be like, well,
if I can have children, I'm having this one.
For breakfast.
Yeah, and I think like that, even like that could be a story just as a movie.
Sure, yeah.
Just like a mercenary going after a weird spider person.
I don't know.
Yeah, maybe.
And there's a lightsaber sword fight and it dies
because the spider picks her up but doesn't pin her arms
and she just skewers the spider.
Skewers her with a lightsaber, yeah.
What's happening?
Why'd you do that?
Why'd you do it?
Yeah.
Because thematically, probably.
What did you think of the griffon ride?
It was Avatar, wasn't it?
They did Avatar. They did Avatar. of the griffon ride? It was Avatar, wasn't it? They did Avatar.
They did Avatar.
I guess this is not really a spoiler.
They pick up a guy and he's chained and they're like,
we need to get this guy.
And they say, we'll give you this guy if you contain this space griffon.
How about we do a Phantom Menace style bet where I own a slave guy
and if you win the bet, you can have him.
I don't have a gun either.
You could kill me.
You could kill me. But if you lose the bet, then have him I don't have a gun either you could kill me
but if you lose the bet
you'll all be my slaves
and they're like fine, what's the bet
I bet this guy who's already my slave
could break this griffon flying
situation
and then he does
then he goes on an avatar
and then he parks the griffon back
oh he gets thrown off at one point
for some reason. But then he gets back on
and then he pops the griffin
back in its parking spot.
And then the guy's like,
well, good job.
A deal's a deal. See you later.
And then the slave owner, he gets
on the griffin and it just kills him.
Spoilers.
And he doesn't, like he had this bonding moment with the griffin, but just kills him yeah spoilers yep and he doesn't like he had this bonding moment
with the griffin yeah but he leaves and he leaves yes he's gonna come back maybe it'll fly through
maybe he'll fly through space later and rescue a space griffin could be a space griffin we don't
know yeah we don't know yeah so just that okay there's a couple of things i thought were
interesting going putting uh tentacle sex in a movie is interesting, I guess. Because Ed screens like his.
He's a weird creep.
He's a weird creep and his after hours is to get in a big shower situation
and there's tentacles on him.
Yep.
On all his bits.
I didn't think it was very sexy, to be honest.
No.
And he's also got, he also smokes through a hole in his stomach.
That's true.
He's doing big drugs.
Yeah.
And there's also like, there's these scorpion spider bounty hunter chairs,
which I thought was interesting as a concept.
Right.
So if you're a bounty hunter and you've got to retrieve a guy,
you've got a little robot guy that follows you and it puts him in a,
like a hospital gurney but on the top of a scorpion robot.
That's right.
Pretty cool.
Yeah, pretty cool.
Pretty cool. There's a moment where like a few of them like pop out of a box later and I a scorpion robot. That's right. Pretty cool. Yeah, pretty cool. Pretty cool.
There's a moment where a few of them pop out of a box later
and I'm like, oh, that's fun.
That's a fun thing.
It's a fun little show.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And Anthony Hopkins lives in a box also.
I'm Anthony Hopkins.
I'm a robot.
I used to work for the king and I sort of do but he's dead.
And now because another guy came in.
And I'm like, I'm not going to fight for that guy.
I'm going to wear a crown.
I'm going to run in the woods.
Am I in this movie?
Not really.
Can't remember.
Does he stay on the planet or does he go on a ship?
Yeah, he stays on the planet.
You see him at the end.
Great.
Standing in wheat or whatever.
He'll be in the next one.
I mean, it would be interesting if one of the seven samurai were a pacifist robot
who goes along and defies his programming or whatever.
Shut up.
That's a good point.
That is a good point.
I'm going to stop you there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I wonder if we've been fooled by the DCEU movies that he does,
that he's better at staging action.
But is it just because.
I think he is.
Well, but, I mean,
is it just because the DCEU characters have more tricks up their sleeve
and so that makes them seem more interesting?
Whereas in this, it's all just spinning around in slow motion.
That's it.
That's all they have.
Or jumping slowly.
And as we mentioned before, there's a scene where they go to the second
or possibly third planet because they need a ship.
No, it must be the first planet.
We need a ship.
So they go to town and they go to the cantina.
West Charlie Hunnam.
We need a Han Solo, obviously.
It feels like they went, okay, We need a Han Solo, obviously.
It feels like they went, okay, we need a scene that's as iconic as the part where Luke is at the bar and the guy comes up to him
and says, he doesn't like you, I don't like you either,
and then Obi-Wan Kenobi cuts his arm off with the lightsaber
and we all go, woo!
Should we use a kind of peakish guy also?
Yes.
Yes, yes.
But okay, but now that's not cool.
That's not fun.
What if he later came back with ten guys and then we did a slow motion
spinning around fight?
Oh, he also wanted to have sex with him.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Because this is gritty and real.
It's real.
And also PG-13 or whatever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Imagine how less iconic the cantina scene in Star Wars would be
if a guy came up to Luke Skywalker and went, ooh, yeah.
Follow me out to my land speeder van, buddy.
And then Obi-Wan Kenobi was like, none of that, please.
Thank you.
I'm the rude one here.
That's right.
But, yeah, but then it's like, okay, what if this guy came back
with ten guys and there was a slow motion gunfight?
And she was like, don't come back with ten guys.
Yeah, and also there's no blood.
No.
Because that's probably being saved for the director's cut.
Oh, we'll talk about that, Mason.
Yeah, I think let's do some spoilers.
I mean, we did some spoilers already, but.
Bad.
It is bad.
Yeah.
Initially.
I genuinely, I fucking hate being like this.
Yeah.
I wanted this to be, even when I heard it was bad, I'm like, let's just see.
Yeah.
And even if it's like a good first act of something.
But it's not.
See, that's exactly right.
I, you know, I saw the reviews were bad and I'm like, well,
it wouldn't shock me if it's one of the ones where you go, well,
Zack Snyder's the guy you're allowed to hate.
Yeah.
So we're all going to give him bad reviews and we're going to be snarky
in the reviews and ha, ha, ha, ha.
But it's just not particularly interesting.
Earlier today I'm like, well, it's not the worst movie ever,
so I guess I'm going to have to give it best movie ever.
No, I'm not doing that.
But it's the worst movie ever, unfortunately.
Yeah.
Because it's not the best movie ever.
It's the laziness.
Not even the laziness.
It's just the carbon copy thing that really kind of went, like,
for me, really great.
Like, being able to identify scenes and characters, like, one for one.
Yeah.
Because, like, obviously movies ape other movies and they always have.
But just, hello.
I'm so sorry for interrupting.
Claire, what did you think of Rebel Moon, part one,
A Child on Fire?
What did you think of Rude Star Wars?
You've got to talk up.
All right.
Which one do I answer first, Rebel Moon?
Yeah.
Well, I felt like the moon was a little bit too rebellious.
My liking.
We thought that.
We agreed.
It should be a little bit more sensible.
That's true, yeah.
Time for another shenanigans.
Sensible moon.
But it should have been good.
Hello, everyone.
Sorry, I know.
Is that saying goodnight?
Yeah, we are.
Thank you.
Bye.
So, yeah.
So, ugh, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a shame.
And, you know, like you said, the scenes.
What are their personalities? Stoic. Stoic. They're all just stoic, aren't they? Yeah. Yeah. It's a shame. And, you know, like you said, the scenes. What are their personalities?
Stoic.
Stoic.
They're all just stoic, aren't they?
Yeah.
Well, they're all stoic except for Charlie Hunnam, who is Irish.
Yeah, that's true.
That's his personality.
He's Irish.
And the people who are Irish do not enjoy that accent.
I see.
Yeah.
Irish betrayal also.
Can you believe it?
That's true.
Yeah.
So, yeah, he betrays them because we're in spoilers, aren't we?
Yes.
And he goes, I've sold you out. I'm not working for grain or whatever. Yeah. Fair enough. Yeah. So, yeah, he betrays them because we're in spoilers, aren't we? Yes. And he goes, I've sold you out.
I'm not working for grain or whatever.
Yeah.
Fair enough.
Yeah.
You want to work for whatever currency is popular in this universe.
Yeah.
Probably galactic credits.
Galactic creditors.
That's exactly right.
Galactic creditors.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Imperial gold pressed latinum.
And then they all get captured in scorpion chairs.
And then it's like, well, you're this guy and you're a king
and you're this guy and we thought you were a griffin guy,
but you're the prince of fucking whatever.
He had a princely vibe, didn't he?
He did.
And you're a swordswoman and that's cool.
Is the robot here?
No.
And you're the great, and Sofia Batola,
you're the greatest person in the universe. Pretty cool. We got you too. That's right. And we're going to, and Sofia Batola, you're the greatest person in the universe.
Pretty cool.
We got you too.
That's right.
And we're going to get your mate to kill you.
I hope he doesn't kill me.
But he does.
He kills Irish Charlie Hunnam.
That's right.
And then they fight and they'd screw him and whatever.
That's pretty cool.
Just kidding.
It's not cool.
No.
And then at the end, okay, so what do you think about that fight anyway?
They all fight each other.
Not interesting.
No.
They're just shooting and ducking and.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Also, the lightsabers not even, if you're doing art with, like,
sexy, mean Star Wars, have the lightsabers, like, cut through people.
Right.
Like, right through.
Yeah.
You know?
I do.
None of this across the chest guff.
Yeah.
There's nothing in this.
We even talk about, you know, and I'm, you know,
in the past, you know, I'm sure I've been guilty of being like,
well, this movie sucks.
But then you go, yeah, but it's got this particular scene in it.
Or like what a memorable scene or what a great character,
what a great performance.
There's nothing in this.
There's nothing like that you can latch on to.
There's no trench run.
No.
What's an iconic ship in this? The one that's got submarines. Yeah, the Scorpion chair. Yeah, that you can latch onto. Even close. There's no trench run. No. What's an iconic ship in this?
The one that's got submarines.
Yeah, the Scorpion chair.
That's right.
Yeah.
Oh, what if we got Scorpion gamer chairs?
Oh, my God.
They probably exist.
It's a merch opportunity, isn't it?
They definitely exist.
I'm going to Google that.
Okay.
But, yeah.
So, yeah.
So, she fights Ed Scrooge on a platform and he falls off the platform and you're like,
whoa, he's dead.
But he's not.
That's right.
He gets, they bring him back and then they give him, he has to have a goo Skype call
with the new emperor or whatever.
And he's like, you better be good at this.
Yeah.
And he's like, I'll try my best.
Well, that's pretty good.
Okay.
And then the next one will do the.
As long as you try.
Yeah.
It's important, I think.
Because the new emperor or whatever is the adopted, adoptive father of the woman on the farm.
Yeah.
The main one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Who I like.
She was the mummy.
She was Tom Cruise's the mummy.
Oh, yeah.
She was first Kingsman, Blade Legs.
Who were the blood axes?
Was it her and somebody else?
Maybe.
Or was it the other guy?
Who was the, or was it Ray Fisher?
Ray Fisher was the blood axe. Yeah. Great. Or who was the other one? Yeah. I don or was it Ray Fisher? Ray Fisher was the blood axe.
Yeah.
Great.
Who was the other one?
Yeah.
I don't know.
His sister?
No, brother and sister.
Okay, I think they were both the blood axes.
Yeah.
Okay, that's great.
That's cool.
Didn't even have a blood axe.
Very disappointing.
Maybe he was saving it for the sequel.
He's dead.
He died.
Yeah.
He did a slow-mo jump and then he was shot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
In the stomach and chest.
Yeah.
Good look on Ray Fisher in this thing.
I think so too.
Yeah. It was cool. Yeah. I like how stoic he was. Oh and chest. Yeah. Good look on Ray Fisher in this. I think so too. Yeah.
It was cool.
Yeah.
I like how stoic he was.
Oh, mate.
There's one thing that I enjoyed about this movie.
It's how stoic everybody was.
So my son caught the end of this.
He came in and it was the bit where Ed Scrin is calling the emperor
or whatever.
And he goes, is this Star Wars?
And I go, no.
And he goes, they copied this from Star Wars.
I'm like, yeah, they did.
I mean, everything. And he goes, they copied this from Star Wars. I'm like, yeah, they did. I mean, everything does.
But even like even he could identify that just on a very surface level of just like this is Star Wars, right?
Sort of, yeah.
Yeah.
Just I don't know, man.
Okay.
It's insane that people are like or just the idea that this is, this is intended to be like the springboard
for a whole new franchise of everything because it's just not.
Wouldn't you love like a new space opera saga?
Yeah.
Because I certainly would.
And this is probably not going to be it.
So just, this is why the Associated Press about the Rebel Moon director's cut.
Zack Snyder said, we knew this would be a PG-13 movie.
In my heart of hearts, I always wanted it to be a rated
R, but you realize the sort of scale and cost
of a movie and say, well, it's not
100% responsible to
have that demand. So there's going to be
a real version that comes out, which is
R-rated. This is streaming.
You can do anything. Army of the
Dead was R-rated. What are you doing?
What are you talking about?
I'm not watching this again.
Apparently it's a completely different movie.
Right.
Apparently. And at this point, everybody who's got Netflix is –
everybody who's ever going to get Netflix has Netflix at this point, surely.
Like you're not getting any new subscribers.
I guess like you need the viewing minutes.
But, I mean, how many parents are going to be like, well, PG-13 is one thing for this rude movie with sexual assault in it,
but you cannot watch the R-rated version where there's blood also.
Don't like that.
Don't like that.
God damn it.
So these have got some reviews.
Some are from the Great Mates group and some are from Twitter.
Tristan Glover says,
Rebel Moon has some of the worst, most infuriating action this
year. How did the guy who directed the warehouse
fight in BBS think this much slow-mo
in one scene worked? Go watch
Kill, Book Soon or Bloodhounds on Netflix
if you want actually good fight
scenes. Go watch a Bloodhound gang video.
Whoa. Rory says,
worst movie ever for a number of reasons, but the weirdest
thing for me was the wardrobe choice.
It's supposed to be this grand sci-fi space epic,
so I couldn't get over how funny it was that Ed Skrun dressed like a Gavin
and Stacey era Matthew Horde with his little skinny black tie.
And so many flat caps.
We get it.
They're farmers, but they're also on a fictional moon.
Maybe be a bit more creative?
Yeah, it's interesting that they go.
You're a clothesman. Well, they go a bit more creative. Yeah, it's interesting that they go.
You're a clothesman.
Well, they go with, I thought that was interesting as well,
that they go with Ed Screen and he's got the, you know,
the Nazi-esque or like the, you know, crossed with like a Russian Cossack.
Yeah.
You know, great coat and all this sort of stuff.
And I'm like, well, it's not original, but it's sort of, you know,
it's a dramatic look. You get it.
You look at it and you get it.
But then for a lot of scenes he's just wearing a little,
he looks like he's in The Killers something yeah like or like um you know just a
band just a band think of a band another band with skinny tires hives he looks like he's in the hives
doesn't he yeah and alexis gentry who's great on uh various social media she's got a bunch of stuff
says on trash wire yeah that's right zach snyder's Jupiter Ascending, which I haven't seen Jupiter Ascending, but yeah, probably.
I think Jupiter Ascending has more
bees. It's got
more bees, certainly, yeah. Janning Tatum is
a dogman. Yeah, I don't know. I haven't
seen it. So yeah, the next one's out on April
19th of 2024. It's not far
away at all. And there's a trailer. I don't know if you've seen it.
And when you say the next one, you mean
Rebel Moon Part 2, so not
the director's cut. No. The rest of this movie. Great, yes. Will be coming out. But Now when you say the next one, you mean- Rebel Moon Part 2. So not the-
No.
The rest of this movie.
Great.
Yes.
Will be coming out.
But I get this probably like, I don't know,
you could cut this down to like 90 minutes maybe
and maybe it's something.
I don't know.
But I didn't.
God, it just-
It was just really boring.
Yep.
Which isn't fun.
No.
So there we go.
No. Yeah. Anything else to say? I don't think so. Yeah, fun. No. So there we go. No.
Yeah.
Anything else to say?
Don't think so.
Yeah, man.
Yeah.
Now, normally we would jump straight into what we're reading,
what we're going to read.
That's right.
That's a famous segment we do.
That's true.
But look, because it's that special time of year.
The end of the year.
And Christmas also.
We're doing hate mail, but the hate has an eight in it, Mason.
Yes.
Here we go.
Now, for those people unfamiliar, first of all, get with the program.
Second thing, hate mail, but the hate has an eight in it.
It's a long recurring, but frequently occur-
No, long occurring, frequently recurring?
It's infrequently recurring.
Infrequently recurring.
Thank you.
Segment where I take a bunch of comments.
You could say it's fortnightly.
You could, but it's not.
No, it's not.
But you could say anything.
You could say anything.
Anyone could say anything these days. You could say it it's not. No, it's not. But you could say anything. You could say anything. Anyone can say anything these days.
You could say it's biannual.
That's probably accurate.
Twice a year or maybe once every two years.
We don't know.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's both.
We're basically going to take YouTube comments,
some of the funnest ones from across various videos of people just being like,
hey, you suck and this is the reason why.
Sometimes there's no explanation.
Sometimes it's just a flat-out insult.
That's true.
And because we got like a fair few from the recent
Zack Snyder's Justice League Caravan of Garbage.
Well, did we?
This is not exclusively what it's going to be about
because I collect these over a series of months.
Some of these date back to nearly the start of the year.
Well, this is biannual.
So, yeah, that's right.
So here we go, Mason.
It's called Hate Mail, but that has an A to it
because it's eight pieces of hate mail, but it's never eight.
It never has been.
And it's internet, so hate with an eight.
It's internet, so whatever.
So we just like to ease into it.
This is on our From Hell Caravan of Garbage.
This one just says.
That's an old one.
O'Connor who says, you two talk crap.
British flag emoji, thumbs down emoji, thumbs down emoji.
So is he saying, is he British?
I don't know.
What was his name again?
O'Connor.
Could be Irish.
Could be Irish, yeah.
I mean, maybe he's from that bit of Ireland that's British.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, that bit.
Typical.
Yeah.
I'm going to say that.
But he's mad that we didn't like it because it's British?
Or is he mad that we're British?
I don't know.
Because a lot of people do think we are British.
Some of these need more explanation.
They do, don't they?
Again, don't worry about that one.
It's just a warm-up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's not one of the real ones.
Okay, sure.
Yeah.
Do it on April.
Again, don't worry about that one.
It's just a warm-up.
It's not one of the real ones.
Okay, sure.
Yeah.
This one's on our Godzilla 2014 Caravan of Garbage from DavidBreathHour2991.
He's got two comments.
First one said,
Watch your mouth if you don't like them to watch them quit complaining.
First of all, we did what?
That was a good movie.
We talked about that.
We did say we liked it, yeah.
And the second one says,
You're no critic.
With a D. C-R-I-D-I-C.
We are no chronicles of ridic, that's true.
Leave it for people who enjoy a fun movie.
You go watch Barbie, and Barbie is B-E-A-R-B-I.
We did watch Barbie. We did watch and enjoy Barbie, and we watched and enjoyed the movie Godzilla.
That's right.
What aspect of that do you think?
The title.
Oh, Caravan of Garbage.
I forgot.
Because if you watched it, you'd be like, oh, they liked that first Godzilla movie,
which we did.
Yeah, immensely.
It's a good movie.
Probably not as good as Godzilla Minus One, but what is?
What is, you know?
Rebel Moon.
Rebel Moon Part 2.
It's going to be a good one.
This one's on our-
It's just going to be Kaiju.
Rebel Moon Part 2, we fight big Kaiju.
This is on a video or it's a YouTube short titled The Flash 2023.
Yuck.
Ed1RKO17 said, if you actually watch their review,
it's clear that James hasn't actually seen the movie.
He just goes after the movie's jugular,
despite what the content of the film actually is being in stark contrast
to the way he describes it.
Oh.
Oh, believe me, I fucking saw that movie.
How dare you?
I sat through that movie multiple times.
That part annoys me.
You shan't be cancelling us for YouTube controversies.
You shan't.
Yet.
This one's from MrFatCat234 on our He-Man video,
He-Man Master of the Universe.
And there's a moment where I say that He-Man is gay.
I'm sure.
Because he is.
Sure.
Which is fine.
It's great.
It's always been that way.
And you're like, well, he technically got married.
Shut up.
He's obviously gay, which is fine.
It's great.
And good.
He's a gay icon.
He's a legend, Mason.
Right.
It says, being woke and being gay aren't the same thing.
He-Man used to be considered based while being gay.
Now He-Man has written woke with him being straight.
I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
That's amazing.
God, the hoops.
That is a perfectly internet comment.
Yes.
Look, we recently got an email, and I won't.
It's one of the best emails
It is the best email we've ever gotten
And it's not complimentary to us
We won't read it out because it'd be cruel
But it was a series of
complaints about the podcast
from a man whose brain
has been melted by the internet
And I love that because I love anything
Any comment on the internet or towards us
or a tweet or anything like that where if you were
to take what you said and read it to anybody else in your life,
in your real life, they'd be like, what?
And then you'd have to break it down.
And, like, there's no, even if you think you have the moral high ground
in some way, people would be like, what?
So he was based and then he was gay, but now he's, are you,
he rides a green tiger.
Isn't he the guy who has the sword?
Yeah, but he's actually, he was based and gay,
but now he's woke and straight.
And these guys, you know, these guys.
He didn't have to show our video.
Yeah, that's right.
And we'll take the view.
We'll take the view.
But they won't like the video.
No.
No.
This one is from Godzilla 1998 Caravan of Garbage.
It's from Dumy019.
Better than the first New Age Godzilla movie.
Sorry for your butt hurt, but three minutes in and you guys are assholes.
It's assholes, but holes is spelled with a W.
That's good. Assholes. That's a play, but holes is spelled with a W. That's good.
Assholes.
That's a play on words, I think.
I think it's good.
Mm-hmm.
This is just a comment on just Luke Skywalker.
Okay.
From Geordie170101, who says-
What are these number guys?
Have you noticed?
I don't know.
You hang a lantern on not shilling, then totally shill by calling Luke a creep at 3152.
Whatever legends Luke did, at least he was a hero no matter what.
That is true.
Fictional man.
Just point that out.
It's all fictional.
But again, very internet comment.
I know.
Say that to a normal person.
Sorry, Luke.
Luke Scott, the guy, he's got the laser sword.
Yeah.
Huh.
Legends.
Isn't it all legend?
Like it's all like in a far away galaxy in the future or whatever?
Great.
Lonnie Hawkins, 582 on our The Shadow Caravan of Garbage.
This is just.
The fact that that is garnering any comments at all,
quite frankly, is astounding.
But go ahead.
You guys.
I'm really opinionated about this movie that no one saw
and nobody's thought about for 20 years.
I just want to clarify, I don't think this is really about the movie.
Oh, okay, right.
But, yeah, you guys realize that your sexual orientation
is why you don't get these movies.
They're nostalgic for a time when you weren't tolerated.
So your subconscious controls your entire banter
because you're not really
talking in the way that men do. You're bantered chanting like a bunch of sissies. So we're gay.
Yeah, I got that. Yeah, I was wondering.
Plus your accent is disturbing. Yeah, sure. These movies are designed to be,
these movies are designed to hear a copied from a genre and time that you didn't belong. So you
protest.
Think about it and why straight people find fault
in your not admitting the world does, do's, sent,
revolve around you.
I won't begin diagnosing why you're gay past.
You need attention like little girls.
Stay home and keep quiet.
Can you do us all a favour?
Full stop.
Try magic and disappear.
Oh.
Again, read that out to anyone you know.
Isn't that movie, didn't have a flying knife in it?
Yeah.
Now that actually wouldn't happen because nobody remembers this movie.
That's true, yeah.
The Shadow.
The Shadow, yeah, of all things.
This is on our Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull video.
This one's pretty standard.
You are garbage. Oh, it's from This one's pretty standard. You are garbage.
Oh, it's from Mercurius Grandos.
You are garbage.
This movie was the perfect combination of action and fun.
You can't do an adventure franchise without coming to the Amazonian jungle
and the happy marriage in the church was the perfect ending he deserved.
You can't do an action franchise without.
Think of one.
Think of one where they don't go to the jungle but it's a good one.
Star Wars.
Yeah, okay.
Well, yeah, technically I guess.
That's probably.
You got me on a technicality.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
On all of the Star Wars movies.
That's right, yeah.
Yeah.
I love that.
Die Hard.
Yeah, also that's another guy who didn't watch the video.
He just went, you're right, he just went, well, you're garbage.
Caravan of Garbage, well, you're garbage.
That's mean.
I'm not garbage.
I'm trying my best.
That's right.
This one's on our Green Lantern Caravan of Garbage from Teth Adam.
Okay.
Oh, that's Black Adam's real name.
Yes, that's right.
Okay, here we go.
Here's going to be some pearls of wisdom.
I didn't watch this one.
So that was something that I think one of us said in that video.
We just went, oh, at one point we just said, oh,
we didn't really watch the movie we're talking about,
which we obviously did because we talked about it.
But you decided to review it, and that's the problem with fandom folks bullshit reviews from mfs that are not objective and
give reviews to the negative because it drives clicks essentially they are click whores you're
nitpicking at stupid shit and sound like you're desperately trying to sound funny but come off
like pubescent incel losers laughing at your own quips that's probably true oh we do on honest
review from someone who actually watched it, the movie fails largely
because they should have had more space battles
and they picked the wrong villain. Wow.
Very true. Yeah, yeah.
They shouldn't have picked the big cloud of piss
as the main villain. I haven't seen it.
I don't know. I was going to say, and again, read this out to
anybody you know.
Green Lantern? Which one's
that guy? Also, he doesn't like it either.
Yeah, wild. But he doesn't like it either. Yeah, wild.
But he doesn't like it for different reasons, i.e. the space battle.
Yeah, right.
This is one from a DC.
Green Lantern, is he the guy with the arrows?
Yeah, no.
I'm thinking of Hawkeye.
You're thinking of Hawkeye.
This one's from a YouTube short that's Aquaman 2 is the worst movie in the DCU.
Speedy Eric says,
Sure, criticise a movie nine months before it's released.
You are smart.
Well, we were right.
It seems also.
But that video was just like reporting on,
just like this is what people said.
Oh, I don't even remember.
Don't even worry about it.
It's not important.
I realized one of these things where I read it out loud
and like I sound insane.
Yes.
Yeah.
Okay.
This is all Snyder stuff.
So this is Zack Snyder's Justice League video.
Yes, that's right. It just came out. See, I clicked on that recently. Yeah. And I was like, oh, these. Okay, this is all Snyder stuff. Oh, so this is Zack Snyder's Justice League video. Yes, that's right.
It just came out.
See, I clicked on that recently and I was like,
oh, these comments are mostly positive.
They're mostly positive, yeah.
But the positive maybe rises to the top.
Yeah, that's right.
Okay, so this one's from DarkSide6898.
Well, first of all, no bias here, is there, Mr. DarkSide?
DarkSide, you should be anti-Justice League
because of what happened in the Justice League movie, by the way.
He killed your mate, your nephew or your uncle or whatever.
Stop being stupid and ignorant.
You are 100% wrong.
Snyder films are fantastic.
You need to educate yourself.
In what way?
Just educate yourself.
By watching them again.
Educate yourself, Mason, for once in your goddamn life.
Sorry.
No, put that down.
Stop drinking the can and educate yourself.
No, I shan't be doing it.
I'm drinking my can of silly juice.
I'm drinking Ignoramus Cola.
Phoenix Jackson 2847 says, this review is total shit.
I'm giving it thumbs down.
You guys are terrible ever since you got that extra dude on it.
With his overly unwanted opinion, you became very bad.
Your channel is terrible.
Get that other dude off.
He's ruining your subscribers.
I'm giving it thumbs down.
Peace. That's you. It's you they said. Finally off. He's ruining your subscribers. And I'm going to thumbs down. Peace.
That's you.
That's you, Mason.
Finally a comment that's just about me.
Got a few for you, by the way.
Also, wasn't that like five?
When did we start doing videos together?
Like five, six years?
Years ago.
Seven years?
Well, pretty much when the, if you go back to the very start of the channel, this version,
you're in most of them.
Oh, in 10 years.
Yeah.
Kyle Braun 8026 says, it's so funny that these guys will twist themselves into knots
to convince their listeners that the Marvels is fine.
It is fine.
Yes, it is fine.
But the more annoying co-host.
Yes.
The one that sounds fat.
Excuse me?
Excuse me?
You're in the video.
Also, so what if you were?
Yeah.
What are you?
I bet this guy's. James, oftentimes when somebody insults somebody
in a particular way, it's actually something that they're very anxious about.
So this person's probably worried that they're getting fat.
Oh, okay.
Well, I hope you're okay.
I hope you're okay too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm taking the high ground.
Yeah.
The one that sounds fat thinks that Amy Adams taking three seconds
to grab a flannel shirt is a never-ending reservoir of parody.
Ooh, that's good, and that's a lot of good Snyder words as well.
There's another one for you.
Hope you enjoyed Rebel Moon, a bad movie.
Also, yeah, I think you got more of the hate
because you were more critical than I was.
Oh, yeah, that would make sense.
Some Jules Vox who says,
Mesa getting paid for words by the minute.
STFU.
Whoa.
That's for you, Mason.
I wish I was getting paid by the minute for words or whatever he said.
And this one's for both of us from Mr. Gitz, who says,
sometimes I love these two.
That's nice.
That is nice.
Other times they're annoying.
Oh, there's more to it.
Annoying as shit.
What?
I don't think James has ever had an opinion of his own,
and Mason can be a pompous douche.
It's nice that he knows our names.
I know, right?
Sometimes I wonder what would happen if movies had no credits.
I swear guys like these wouldn't know what to think
because they're completely blinded by who directs a movie.
And that's a real shame.
I don't care about Zack Snyder.
Mmm.
I think you want to kiss him.
Don't care about Joss Whedon.
Mmm.
But this is a damn fine movie.
Is it perfect?
Hell no.
But it's easily one of the better superhero movies.
And if it said directed by David Fincher instead of Snyder,
I guarantee these two would be slobbering all over it.
They can't take the movie as it is, and shit like that is annoying.
David Fincher would make a shorter movie.
That's true.
He's notable for a –
I reckon it would be shorter and better.
He's notable for a precision and an economy of time.
And he should be accredited for it.
If he directed this, I would say, Mr Fincher, please,
what have you done to us?
Why have you given us this amount of movie?
Have you gone mad?
Have you gone completely insane?
Anyway, that was Hate Mail but the hate hasn't hated it.
I love that.
I thought that was a fresh perspective on life.
Really brings.
I hope you're taking some of these criticisms on board, by the way,
because some of these are secretly from me.
Yeah, on board the what?
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
I'll take them.
I'm just helping.
Yeah.
Just helping, Mason.
Yeah.
So that's fun.
Anyway, if you've got any hate mail, don't try and trick me.
That's right.
Don't try and trick me.
We know.
We know because you can't help but put in a little reference.
Yeah, yeah, we get it.
You know, you're always like, you guys suck and so does little James.
Yeah.
We're like, we know. We got it it you couldn't resist could you you little devil
i gotta say though it's getting hard for me to find hate mail because i've heard so much
so a lot of the stuff that like this is this is good five years ago yeah whatever it's like kill
yourself and it just washes over it's pretty much like a like a like a beautiful way i don't even
see it hawaii It's kind of crazy.
Like it gets to a point.
I'm sure, look, things could ramp up, you know.
Things can happen.
Hope so.
I hope not, actually.
I hope the internet gets even more insane.
It needs to change, though, really.
Yeah.
Because, like, the criticisms are not, they're not, you know.
I think it might become just AI-generated comments before too long.
Because, you know, I don't know how accurate this is,
but you know how some people have that theory, the dead internet theory?
Oh, yeah.
That most of the internet is just bots talking to other bots?
Yeah, okay, yeah.
And eventually that's all going to collapse because advertisers will be like,
hey, wait a second, we're just showing our ads to other bots
who are commenting on.
Yeah.
So nothing's worth anything.
If they don't tell the ad agencies, they'll be right.
That's true.
Just keep it going.
Keep flying high.
That's right.
All right, Mason, do you know what it's time for?
What are we reading?
What are we going to read?
That's correct.
Let's get into it.
I'm doing a thing.
What are we reading today?
What are you reading?
Oh, it's show and tell time, James.
Oh, my God, Mason.
You're always bringing in props. I'm always like, stop bringing in props. They're. Oh, my God, Mason. You're always bringing in props.
I'm always like, stop bringing in props.
I've got a comment on this that says, stop bringing in props.
Oh, I thought it said, stop bringing in plops.
And I do.
I don't mind the plops.
I leave them at the door.
I don't mind those.
Well, there you go.
Something for the dogs to eat.
In the past, we've talked about, remember Die?
Yeah.
By Kieran Gillen and Jamie McKelvey.
I didn't finish that. We can go finished which is goth jumanji and it's it's it's a bunch of people who uh a bunch of kids who get trapped
in a goth manji exactly it's goth manji a bunch of kids that get trapped in a role-playing game
and it's a horrifying parallel universe full of magic well before they did this i never finished
this i'm gonna i'm gonna get back into it it's called phonogram and it's basically look at this phonogram it's basically
what if pretentious music fans but they're also wizards whoa man i like this yeah the art is not
as refined i would suggest and i don't think and i think i like the look of this yeah the right the
right i would say as a whole it's not as refined as like die or any of the subsequent stuff they've
done it's like pretty kind of rough and ready yeah but i think it's's really interesting. I remember reading the first couple of issues and being like,
this is real interesting.
I've got to check back.
I've got to keep looking at this phonograph.
In fact, I mentioned on another thing we recorded recently,
I was listening to a friend of the show, Cam and Alexi's podcast,
Special Features, where they talk about pop culture.
Been on that yet?
We've been on their previous versions.
Why haven't we been on it?
They haven't been asked.
But Cam was mentioning he was getting into comic books for the first time
and I'm like, I wonder what Cam would like.
Because he's a music guy.
He is.
I'm like, maybe Phonogram.
So I might send him a little message and be like, what do you think of this?
I hope he does.
Do you like it?
I don't know.
That's not how time works, man.
What are you doing to me?
Just asking questions.
Oh, yeah, cool.
What do you think I experience all time and space simultaneously?
Do you?
Are you Amy Adams from the movie Arrival?
No.
No, I haven't got that power.
No, the way you're talking makes me think you are.
Don't say like I have that power.
You'll regret it.
What?
I'm nothing.
What have you been reading, James?
Am I currently regretting it or will I regret it?
I don't know.
Yeah.
What?
Yep.
What ifs out?
They're doing one every day to New Year's or whatever.
Incredible marketing.
You've done it again.
I'll watch them at some point.
Now this is what if Sam Rockwell got in an Iron Man suit or something.
You know one of the incredible what ifs that Marvel has always wanted,
all the fans have always wanted?
Finally.
What if Peter Quill met a different guy?
What if he did?
Have a nice day.
Apparently it's good from the ones that have been released.
Yeah, great.
But one thing that I watch that I really, really enjoy and I watch it with my kids,
it's called Merry Little Batman.
Oh, yeah, right.
Because it is the Christmas time of the year.
Or maybe when you're listening to this, Christmas is already over.
And good riddance.
It's on Prime Video and it's basically, it's Damian Wayne.
Son of the Batman I can't remember
who his voice is
but his dad
is Batman
and Batman
has cleaned up
all crime
in Gotham
because
he's creamed up
all that crime
because he's like
I want this city
to be safe for my son
so there's been no crime
and he's grown a beard
and he's Luke Wilson
and so Damian's like
I want to fight crime
and whatever
but he's like you're not ready to fight crime.
So Batman, anyway, gets sent out on a mission, on an emergency mission.
So Damien Wayne's left behind and then some robbers break in Home Alone style.
And then it takes him across the various capers across the city by himself.
And it's just, it's really fun and weird.
And the art style is like off kilter.
It is, isn't it?
Yeah.
It's funny as well.
James Cromwell is Alfred.
David Hornsby from It's Always Sunny is cricket.
Oh, yeah, right.
He's the Joker.
It's just really good.
It's like a 90-minute little animated special.
A little thing you could pop on Christmas Day
after everybody's eaten themselves into a coma.
Exactly.
You could just show it to your kids or watch it all together.
Yeah, so I'd heard it was good and I'm like, oh, yeah,
fuck, I'll check this out, whatever.
Let's kill some time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it really surprised me.
It's really charming and fun and nice.
Yeah, it's really cool.
I love that.
Yeah, and I thought Luke Wilson was a really good Batman,
especially this version.
It's like a fun version.
Wow.
Wow. No, Owen Wilson. I know. Oh It's like a fun version. Wow. Wow.
No, Owen Wilson.
I know.
Oh.
That was my own wow.
Oh.
I've been working on it, yeah.
I didn't like it.
Oh.
Yeah.
What's next, Mason?
We got anything else or are we just going to wrap it up?
I think we should do another thing.
I think we should do letters.
Okay, fine.
Because it's time for letters.
It is.
It's time.
Time to play the famous theme at a perfectly pitched volume.
The classic one was letters.
Nice.
Oh, letters.
We love you.
Some letters.
They're only a day away.
I know they're here right now.
We're going to do letters.
And underneath, the app always recommends a thing.
And this time it's recommended the Weekly Planet Animated Big Sandwich
by the channel NM Design.
Oh, very good.
That's a bit of fun.
Somebody's taken a little...
How many views?
28,000.
Ooh.
Let's bring that up.
Let's bring that up to 29,000.
I agree.
And even 29,000.
Correct.
I reckon.
Now, if you do want to reach the show,
you can simply hashtag Weekly Planet Pod on Twitter.
That's right.
Or weeklyplanetpod at gmail.com if you want to send an email.
That's right.
Mason, what have you got in terms of letters this week?
Here's an email from Ryan.
Ryan.
He said, you helped me win 50 bucks.
Yeah, give it to us.
Hi, James and Mason.
You should.
Hi, James and Mason.
I've been listening for about a year and I'm currently working my way back
through the previous episodes, currently at episode 167,
eagerly awaiting the Batman v Superman episode.
Oh, man.
Wednesday, a local restaurant was hosting a Home Alone trivia night
When I saw your commentary pop up in my YouTube feed
I happily watched it again while listening to you guys
One of my favourite parts is when you guys went on
About how all of Kevin's groceries only cost him $19.83
It was insane
It's truly insane
It's on YouTube by the way
As luck would have it I ended up being one of the questions
Which I probably wouldn't have remembered if not for you guys
I ended up winning a $50
gift card. They asked that?
Yeah. God, that's very specific. For coming in
first place with a score of 55 out of 59.
I just watched that and I don't remember that.
Oh, I remember it. I remember
the scene. Yeah, yeah.
Allowed me to pay for my meal and leave a generous
tip for the server. Thanks for your help and
for being... You don't need to tip, by the way. It's optional.
Uh-oh. Just saying.
James, no. James, no.
No, no, no. Just saying, Mason.
It's fine. Don't even joke. Don't be that guy.
Thanks for your help
and for all the great content. Looking forward to subscribing
to Big Sandwich to listen to more commentaries.
Yeah, you always. Particularly TMNT
1990. Oh, we did do that one.
Can I be the official Home Alone trivia champion of the podcast?
Yes, you may. Well, of course you are.
That movie commentary was on Big Sandwich
briefly, but now it's just up on YouTube, right?
We do Christmas commentary every year. That's right.
So if you're watching that with a family,
why not throw that on and be
one of those people who has to explain a thing
from the internet. Absolutely. And the bonus
thing this week on BigSandwich.co
is the game Aquaman Battle for Atlantis
from 2003.
Love it.
Do a little playthrough of that.
And Dreadful.
Oh, it's bad, yes.
Horrible.
Very bad.
So that's up right now.
Very bad, yes.
I got this one from Chris Smith who says, hashtag weeklyplanetpod.
Well, actually, he at the weeklyplanetpod, but I found it, Chris.
Oh, yeah.
He's got here something called the trilogy.
He said, thoughts on this.
And it's the trilogy meter.
I don't know if you've seen this. But it's all the different trilogies and it's ranked each
of the movies within the trilogy made a little graphic here so like star wars movie one near the
top of the little graph and then empire strikes back is all the way at the top and then return
the jedi is a little lower are there any of these that you would disagree with i would say the
matrix being super high i would even put that at the top that's a perfect movie yeah yeah but i
wouldn't put the sequels as low as they are here no that's true i would say The Matrix being super high. I would even put that at the top. That's a perfect movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I wouldn't put the sequels as low
as they are here. No, that's true. I would say they're more
in the middle. I would say Spider-Man, if that's the
Raimi Spider-Man trilogy,
I think the first two should be
up further. Okay. Because Spider-Man
Spider-Man 1 there is like
50% there. Yeah. I mean,
I know people say the high point of that trilogy
is usually 2, and I think they're probably right,
but I reckon Spider-Man 1 should be up as well.
Yep.
Lord of the Rings I would say higher for all of them.
Uh-huh.
Jurassic Park I would say.
Jurassic Park 1 is way too low.
Make them all higher.
Mad Max trilogy.
Yep.
I think the third one should be lower.
Yep, lower than the first one?
Yes.
Also Die Hard trilogy, it's Die Hard 1 near the top,
Die Hard 2 just below that, and then Die Hard 3 lower than that.
Die Hard 2 is not better than Die Hard 3.
Not a chance.
Still pretty good though.
Hot town, summer in the city.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Something, something, something, something and gritty.
Planet of the Apes couldn't say,
but we're going to maybe cover some very early Planet of the Apes stuff next year.
So I'm excited to get into that.
And then some regular stuff.
Godfather as well.
Godfather 3 is way better than that.
I don't know where the reviews are going.
It's first column towards the bottom.
I think Batman Forever is not that low.
Yeah, yeah.
Rambo 2 is better than Rambo 3.
They're not the same.
Blade.
Blade 3 is probably a little low.
Alien 3 is not that bad.
Right, yeah.
Anyway, interesting.
I've seen this before.
The trilogy meter meter if people
are interested in checking it out yes mason what are you doing what do you got in terms of i'm
gonna find an email that's what i'm gonna do don't worry about i'll do this one from nick who says
in honor of franco coso coso oh yes what was the best uh scene involving furniture hashtag
with the planet pod for those people don't know franco coso was a furniture magnate he was a – Furniture magnate. He was a – Greek furniture magnate. Correct, yes.
And as long as I can remember, he had ads where he would sell his wares
on Saturday morning television.
Megalo, Megalo, Megalo, et cetera, yeah.
Brunswick and Footescray.
Yeah, it was – yeah, some – the last of the true like community TV ads
for some quite frankly hideous furniture.
Yeah.
I'm going to play a bit for everybody.
Okay, sure.
So we all remember.
Okay.
I have no idea what this guy was actually like.
No.
So here we go.
Grand Sire.
Grand Sire.
Grand Sire.
Where?
In Branswick and Footscray.
Franco Cozzo.
Have the pleasure to present to you.
Great hair.
Look at this hideous furniture.
Oh, beautiful.
Yes.
Some of the ugliest fucking furniture you've ever,
even for the time, even you're like, oh, it's probably just dated
because it's from the 80s and 90s.
No.
Dreadfuls no dreadful
absolutely dreadful furniture uh r.i.p yeah anyway scenes furniture and movies oh i would say anytime
jackie chan's fighting with a chair or whatever that's so true yeah uh most of the um the second
act of inception in the in the oh yeah in the hotel yep that's good and and and by extension
the jamiroquai video clip, Virtual Insanity.
Future made of virtual insanity.
Yeah, exactly, that one.
The bit where Danny DeVito pops out of the couch and it's always sunny.
That's right, yes.
It's a good moment.
The bit where Jason Bourne goes to shoot that guy in the first Jason Bourne movie sitting on the couch,
but he doesn't end up doing it and then sets the whole thing off.
The moment in the rundown where The Rock is fighting that guy with two whips and he's just throwing chairs at him.
Oh, yeah, that's good.
And the chairs are exploding in midair.
That's a good movie.
It is a good movie, I agree.
Hey, make another one.
It's too late.
I mean another good movie.
Oh, no, it's too late for good movies.
Here's an email from Kobe.
Kobe?
Who says, was I right to cite you guys as credible sources for my uni essay?
Did you get caught?
Doesn't say.
Then you're fine.
Hey, James and mate, so I started listening and watching the YouTube when I was in
primary school back in 2015. That doesn't
seem right. What are you saying? I don't like that at all.
Where are you from? He must mean 1915.
And I'm
now in my first year of university and love listening to you guys
on the way in. Recently on my technology course
I was asked to write an essay on the dangers of AI
and its overuse in media. Oh.
I listened back to your extensive coverage of the actors
and writer strikes and used your podcast as a source
to back up some of my points.
I haven't received the grading back, but I'm expecting
either incredibly high praise for your insightful words
or to be immediately kicked off the course.
We don't know yet, do we?
Yeah, either way, thanks to you guys.
I've already had a lot of knowledge to work with
and I didn't actually mind writing for once,
so thank you very much.
We are an established media outlet, so that should be fine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You send your professor our way, we'll fucking sort him out.
Yeah, we'll sort him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or her.
Say we said, say it to my face.
But also I think you are often reading from like Deadline.
Yeah, exactly.
It's probably fine.
It's like when you cite Wikipedia.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then you just list all the things at the bottom of Wikipedia.
Kobe says, anyway, with the upcoming DC slate looking promising,
who would you like to see directly announced features
and what tones are you hoping for?
I mean, you'd have to, like, name them.
Yeah, but I mean, like, who – I mean, you mentioned David Fincher before.
Give him fucking Batman.
Give him anything.
Like, just give him –
Give him a Constantine.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, okay. What do you think about Fassbender Constantine? I mean, Keanu Reeves is doing give him. Give him a Constantine. Yeah, okay. Yeah, okay.
What do you think about Fassbender Constantine?
I mean, Keanu Reeves is doing it anyway, isn't he?
That's true, yeah.
I could see Fassbender as Constantine.
Yeah.
I mean, look, honestly, I would like, what I would like ultimately is for,
and this will never happen, but the studios to go, boy,
we really need to shake this up.
So let's just get proper auteur directors or even just guys
who have just a good sense of like just a.
Good directors.
Good directors.
Interesting.
Get David Finch, get Steven Soderbergh.
Yeah.
Because, I mean, he did Ocean's Eleven.
He'll do a fun thing.
He'll do it.
He'll do a fun thing.
Yeah, yeah.
And just go, we trust you to get.
We'll make the connections later.
Yeah.
But we trust you to get a movie about.
Get the guy who made Andor.
Yeah.
Give him someone.
Who's directing for the Fantastic Four?
Do we even know yet?
John Watts.
Oh, this is the upcoming DC slate as well.
But I like.
John Watts is, he did Spider-Man.
He sure did, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The new ones.
Yeah, yeah.
Duncan Jones.
Yeah.
I mean, he hasn't done, not everything he's done has been flawless. He did Warcraft. Warcraft was the last thing that he did, yeah. Duncan Jones? Yeah. I mean, he hasn't done, not everything he's done has been flawless.
He did Warcraft.
Warcraft was the last thing that he did, yeah.
But he did Moon?
Yeah.
That was good?
Yeah, I don't know if they'd trust him with anything at the moment.
I think he'd do a great job, but I don't know.
Yeah, the Wachowskis.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Do they even care about this stuff anymore?
It's not my money.
Yeah, I know, but I feel like they don't care about this stuff anymore.
Okay.
The Matrix resurrections, only one of them did it and they were like, whatever.
It felt like that.
Yeah, right, right, right.
But I mean, I don't know, man.
It's just interesting.
Yeah.
Who's a good director?
Who is a good director?
What about Steven Spielberg?
Superman.
There you go.
Okay, you've done it.
You've done it.
You've successfully combined one of the most successful directors
of all time with one of the most popular properties of all time.
Which already has a director.
That's correct, yes.
Yeah.
Oh, you did Mute.
The last one he did was Mute in 2018.
Oh.
Yeah, so there you go.
Yeah.
He did Source Code as well.
I liked Source Code a lot.
Source Code's really good.
So there we go.
Yeah, so if you look, Mute, Source Code, Warcraft, not for me.
People seem to like it sometimes. And Mute I didn't really enjoy like at all. So there we go. Mute, Source Code, Warcraft, not for me. People seem to like it
sometimes.
And Mute,
I didn't really enjoy
like at all.
But he's done
mostly good stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what I'm talking about.
Son of David Bowie.
Yeah.
Nepo baby.
Great with talent.
God,
in a different field.
Shut up.
Shut up.
Shut up.
I agree.
Got anything else?
Not currently.
All right.
We could just wrap it up here if you want.
I'm going to find one more email.
Man, you're always so busy.
He's not actually busy.
Everybody's falling asleep.
He fell asleep just then.
Me, me, me, me, me.
Look, here's one more email.
I think it covers an important topic.
Okay.
This is from Jack.
Jack?
Dear James and Mace, I listened to your Jurassic World review.
We actually didn't want you to, Jack.
That wasn't for you.
And you mentioned Vincent D'Onofrio,
and then I had a dream where Vincent D'Onofrio beat me up as Kingpin.
It was weird.
That is weird.
I hope you're okay in your dream,
because if you get injured in your dream next time you go into it. By Vincent D'Onofrio.
Yeah, next time you go into that dream, you retain those injuries.
Oh, no.
Your dream self carries them over.
Oh, no.
Yeah, it's not great, but it's just life, you know?
Yeah, you've got to go to a dream hospital.
But sometimes Vincent D'Onofrio is your doctor.
Yeah, and then, oh, that's right, and he's like,
you ready for another beating up?
And you're like, not really.
I thought this was a real.
And he's like sitting in his bed, but then all the furniture's moving around,
like in the video clip to Jim Iroquois' Virtual Insanity, you know.
And you're like, damn.
Yeah.
But, you know, I like him, Vinnie D'Onofrio.
Me too.
I'd prefer if he didn't beat me up.
Yeah.
Seems like a delightful man.
In my dreams or real life.
I think my opinion.
Make him bigger.
Make him even bigger.
I think my opinion of him would go down significantly if he beat me up.
See, for me it would increase.
Wow.
If you beat me up.
Yeah.
I'd be like wow nice very impressive very
cool not a lot of people have the stones that's right you know not a lot of throw yeah you're
doing the thing that we all wanted to happen that's right yeah all right what are we uh what's
next that's the end of the show james you silly goose man it's just good to be at the end of the
show that's exactly right.
Folks, thank you so much for listening.
We very much appreciate it. I'm gearing up for what's next.
Big week next week.
Oh, I thought you meant after this, which would be a little lie down.
No, sleep.
For me, yeah, for me it's a little lie down.
Yeah.
Folks, thank you very much for listening.
Thank you for telling your friends about the podcast
because that is how we get new listeners.
And also thanks for leaving a five-star review on your podcast,
Capture of Choice.
If you do such a thing, if you are so bold, James may very well read it out on the podcast.
I might.
Not this week, though.
Okay, bye.
Just kidding.
Here's one from Zoltan.
Five stars.
This is a review from the future.
I'm writing this review in the future.
It turns out Zack Snyder was right about everything.
I'm hiding from Superman as I type this.
The only thing that cheers me up in this yellow-brown tinted hellscape is listening to James and Mason.
I especially love the episode from 2024 where James finally snaps
and burns his entire neighborhood down.
Great fun.
That is fun.
I'm looking forward to that.
You don't want to be stuck in the Zack Snyder future apocalypse.
No, you want to be in the George Clooney, Ezra Miller universe.
That's right.
Willafedia says, best podcast on the internet, an incredible podcast
about the evolution of one host's
man cave and the other's love of Yu-Gi-Oh!
Occasionally I'll take breaks to discuss
movies and comic books and TV shows. Keep up the
great work, boys! We'll do it!
Thank you so much. Thank you. Folks, if you want to
get into contact with us, you can go to weeklyplanetpod
at gmail.com.
You can also go to the Planet Broadcasting Great Mates
Facebook group and the Weekly Planet podcast subreddit and Discord.
Thank you very much to Sarabi and Maisie and Fidel
for keeping those going and moderated and doing TikToks.
They also know how to send Vinny D'Onofrio into your dreams now,
by the way.
That's right, yeah.
They got the device from the virtual insanity video clip
by Jim Iroquois.
They got that device that got him in that room
and they can do that now.
Thank you for keeping those going and doing the TikToks
and the clips channels and all sorts of stuff, which we have.
We've got a TikTok.
How do you get there?
I don't know.
I don't have TikTok.
Figure it out.
Yeah, figure it out.
You know how TikTok works.
You're a young person.
Yes.
Yes.
You're young and vital and can download another app.
Not me.
Four apps and I'm done.
These days, maybe even just two.
That's exactly it. Yeah, that's right.
Let me see. What else, James?
Oh, if you want to follow some people on the socials, first follow
our friend Rob Collings who edits this podcast.
He puts the show notes together as a grand
old time. He does all sorts of stuff.
He makes videos. You can follow him at
The Weekly Planet on Twitter and at Rob Collings
on Twitter. He'll keep you up to date on all things The Weekly
Planet. That's right. You can follow me on Twitter and at Rob Collings on Twitter. He'll keep you up to date on all things The Weekly Planet. That's right.
You can follow me on Twitter at Wikipedia Brown and on Instagram at Nick Maso.
James is Mr. Sunday Movies everywhere.
Oh, my goodness.
These are all in the show notes, by the way.
Yeah, you can check that out.
All you need to do is look down.
Yeah.
Just look down.
That's right.
I'm there.
I'm always with you.
That's right.
Lying on the ground like a grub.
That's right.
Exactly right.
If you want to support the show, you can go to patreon.com.
Maybe.
We've got to buy it now.
Might be.
Patreon.com slash MrSundayMovies.
You're chucking a buck or an amount that you would not miss.
That's right.
I'm looking if there's anything else going on here, Mason, in terms of news.
Seems like we're pretty standard stuff.
Standard stuff.
Go to bigsandwich.co.
Sign up for nine US dollars per month.
Bonus podcast, movie commentaries, early videos.
Next week we're talking about one of our favorite comic books of all time.
One of our favorite superhero comic book movies of all time.
Yeah.
So check that out.
That's pretty cool.
And that's going to continue over in January when we're on break.
Thank you to The Brute and The Basilisk and Rackham
for all our musical themes.
Go to tpublic.com for weekly pen Planet merch and T-shirts and so forth.
Next week we're going to do best and worst of the Weekly Planet Awards.
And Aquaman probably.
We're going to talk about Aquaman.
It's out on Boxing Day.
It's going to be a long one.
All right.
It's going to be a long one of fun.
That's right.
That's right.
All right.
Thanks, everybody.
Grabbed our jam, you guys.
We'll see you next week.
Goodbye.
My headache's gone.
Yeah.
Let's do another podcast. I don't want to. I'll give you a headache. Next week. Oh. Ew. Headache's back. Oh, no. Thanks, everybody. Grabbed our jam, you guys. We'll see you next week. Goodbye. My headache's gone. Yeah. Let's do another podcast.
I don't want to.
It'll give me a headache.
Next week.
Oh.
Yeah.
Headache's back.
Hell no.
Okay, bye.
FX's The Veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship between two women who
play a deadly game of truth and lies on the road from Istanbul to Paris and London.
One woman has a secret,
the other a mission to reveal it
before thousands of lives are lost.
FX's The Veil, starring Elizabeth Moss,
is now streaming on Disney+.