The Weekly Planet - 94 Best & Worst Mission Impossible Films
Episode Date: July 27, 2015This week, we take a wild ride though the Mission Impossible films in the lead up to Rogue Nation! The highs, the lows, the hair.Plus we talk the X-Men and Fantastic Four films crossing over, Spectre,... Pixels, an Emoji film and a sequel to Jurassic World. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Red hot comic book movie news.
Shooting up your butt hole.
The Weekly Planet.
The Weekly Planet.
Welcome back everybody to another... My voice, that didn't... Hang on. Keep it rolling. We can do this. The Weekly Planet, The Weekly Planet My name is James, you might know me as Mr. Sunday. With me as always is my co-host, Nick Mason. Believe in yourself.
My voice was fine, like the second before I started, no?
Was it?
Yeah.
I was hoping you'd trip up.
I'm hoping you'd sabotage this podcast.
And it's mine.
All the stuff in here.
Speaking of, there is a weird echo in this room.
All the nothingness.
Yeah, took out a bunch of stuff.
You did take out a bunch of stuff.
It's a weird echo.
So sorry about that.
But it wasn't like acoustic tiling or anything
like that like it was just random garbage like there was a rug made out of jeans and i think
your mother gave you it was on the back of the couch you took that out there's there was some
stuff in the corner and you removed that and now there's just a weird wet brown stain but i gotta
get fixed i hope this is building a picture in the listener's mind of what conditions we do this under.
The idea is that I'm going to set up a proper room at some point.
Oh, sure.
Approximately soon.
You're going to bring back the jeans blanket, right?
Definitely.
Okay, great.
It's a staple of this podcast.
People didn't know it.
It also seems to be getting foggier in here as we talk.
I don't know why that is.
Are we underground?
Is this underground?
Yeah.
It's very cavernous in here anyway we've been walled in like an edgar allen poe story correct uh i'm with the news yes roughly
the news roughly the news let's do it probably called uh bob wants to know what do you think
of the made-up name bob now that's a real human what's his full name bob oh i don't know if he
wants me to disclose that but but it's Bob Steven.
No, that's very much a made-up name.
Well done thinking on your feet and making up a full made-up name for him.
Continue.
So two first names, Bob Steven.
What he's pointed out here is that Bryan Singer said that there are talks for an X-Men Fantastic Four crossover movie in the future.
He also says it'll work because they're both ensemble films which is
true uh-huh and there's a natural uh mechanism to deal with it which involves uh time so i'm
assuming some kind of time travel well because they said at different this is that's never been
said in hollywood before or any kind of fiction writing is this will work definitely because of
time travel right so basically Yeah, you're right.
So basically what's going to happen here is either,
because the X-Men films are on a pretty good run at this point,
either they're going to elevate the Fantastic Four franchise
or the Fantastic Four franchise is going to bring the X-Men franchise down.
Drag it right down.
Okay, if you've got four Fantastic Four members,
does that mean you just have to pick out four X-Men?
Or do you have like 27 X-Men? It's a really good point. Do you it's a really good point yeah there's been comics about it that i haven't read probably
are you against any of that i guess ah they have to do time travel though because the current x-men
team is young and sexy and cool and in the 80s and in the 80s so they have there has to be
and you can't have the you can't have the the new Fantastic Four meet the old X-Men.
Because that would be weird, right?
Yeah.
Because if anything, the Fantastic Four should be more established than the X-Men.
Because that's how it worked in the comics.
It was X-Men first.
Oh, okay, right.
Yeah, yeah.
It was Fantastic Four first and then the X-Men.
But Ant-Man was one of the first Avengers.
And then he hit his wife.
I mean, and he was the most recent movie.
Yep. So, you know. Oh, yeah, good point. Yeah. Look, I don't know. Yeah, fair enough. Avengers and then he hit his wife. I mean, and he was the most recent movie.
So, you know.
Oh, yeah.
Good point.
Yeah.
Look, I don't know.
Yeah.
Fair enough.
That's a pretty good answer.
Isn't it though?
Hang on.
This is unplugged.
Give me a sec.
This is a fucking disaster today.
I don't know what's going on.
Sorry.
But we're still on there.
Yeah, we're still on there.
We're fine.
Okay.
So, what am I doing?
You also said, though, this very much depends on how the Fantastic Four movie turns out,
like how it's received.
Like how far it's going to tank.
Yeah, exactly. So if it only tanks a little bit, we'll do it.
But if it tanks super hard.
I can't read this movie how it's going to go.
No, me neither.
Like I want to, I genuinely want it to be, no be no i'm genuinely i don't care whether it's good
or bad but i'm interested to know how what way it's gonna go yeah because i it might because
the fantastic four movie like the franchise famously yeah it only still exists like they
keep having to make one every x number of years, otherwise they'll lose the rights to it,
which is odd because they've never made a good one.
And they make money though, right?
Yeah.
No, they did.
They both made money.
Yeah.
The ones that have been, well, except for the,
I know about the one from 94 and whatever,
but that was clearly made for this. This will be fascinating if they just keep,
like they keep making bad ones,
but then they keep making bad ones.
What if this franchise, what if this becomes the longest running comic book franchise ever?
Robert Downey Jr. stopped suing Iron Man, so they stopped making them and blah, blah, blah.
But they just keep making Fantastic Four movies because they make just enough.
Because they'd rather that.
This is a 70-year-old franchise.
We're on to our 27th Fantastic Four movie. But the thing is,
I don't feel like they're trying to make bad ones
except for the first one, which was from 94,
which was never going to be released.
But the other ones have been genuine,
including this one, look like genuine attempts.
Like, even though they have to make them.
But it would be amazing
if they kept trying to make genuine attempts.
And they're all bad, yeah.
But yeah, you're right, I can't read this one at all.
And I feel like the filmmakers can't read it either
because there was that trailer that looked like Interstellar
and there's one that looks like they're teens.
And then it's one where, yeah, is there jokes or what?
I don't know.
But the other thing is I think, of course,
Bryan Singer's going to come out and say,
hey, maybe there'll be
an X-Men Fantastic Four crossover
because this movie's out
in two weeks.
And as far as I'm aware,
nobody really cares.
Sure.
I mean, people care,
but it's not like
a Batman v Superman
or whatever Marvel
are bringing out.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We've seen some more
80s costumes from the X-Men. Oh, yeah. We've seen some more 80s costumes from the X-Men.
Oh, yeah?
We've seen Quicksilver's in his costume.
Yeah, I haven't seen that.
It's just a regular costume.
They've gotten rid of his weird silver thing.
He's still got the goggles.
Okay.
But they're just regular goggles.
Great.
How do you like that?
Yeah, that's fine.
Great, yeah, good.
Apparently there's going to be an even more Quicksilver scene in this one.
Ooh!
Do you think that's done, though?
Like, can you imagine that they could do anything
that could top the last one?
It has to be at least three times as good.
It's okay.
So they're going to have to bring me in, specifically,
and have me watch the scene.
And if I judge that it's three times as good,
then it's out.
Then they put it in the movie.
Otherwise, everybody involved is killed.
Okay, fair enough.
And the actor that plays Quicksilver is digitally erased from the movie.
Great.
And then killed.
In that order.
Yeah.
What about, like, I'm just trying to think.
I don't even know what I was going to say.
It doesn't matter.
It's not important.
Yeah, look, I think, I'm sure they have plans to cross over the X-Men and Fantastic Four.
Uh-huh.
If this goes well.
Sure.
Or if this goes middling.
Right.
So, you know, everybody wants their crossover versus universe,
don't they?
Yeah.
So everyone's doing it.
All the cool people.
Speaking of universes of – this isn't a segue, is it?
No, it's the best segue.
Continue.
James Bond Spectre trailer.
Oh, that came out, didn't it?
It's not called James Bond Spectre.
No.
It's called Spectre colon James Bond brackets.
Is it?
Question mark?
So what do you think about this?
Brackets don't emphasize colon.
Did it ring any bells with you?
What does that mean?
Like would you go to your neighbors and ring their doorbell
and be like, watch this on my phone?
Yeah.
Okay.
Obviously.
Cool. You didn't love Skyfall did you no it's not as
good as people i it's you know it's i've said this before it's brisk and it's fun it looks great yeah
it looked like i re-watched it recently because i'm like i'll give some movies a more of a chance
kind of thing yeah and it looks great his cinematography is great looks incredible yeah
but i feel like they would they've been trying really hard to kind of bring everything back to the original status quo.
Yeah.
Which is fine.
But at the same time, they're like, okay, well, he's got to have the same gun he had in the 60s.
Yeah.
And the M's got to be Ralph Fiennes.
And so it's got to be male and all.
Like, you don't have to bring it all the way up.
And also, the villain's plot made no sense.
No.
As we've talked about.
Get captured on purpose.
The whole thing.
Like, the James Bond movies are always just a mishmash
of whatever's popular at the time.
And they went, okay, well, the Dark Knight worked really well.
Yeah.
Let's have our villain be the Joker, but it's what's-his-face.
Yeah.
Javier Bardem.
Javier Bardem.
Yeah.
Exactly.
It looked like him.
Yeah. It didn't look like him. No, it did. It was like even the outfit. Oh, the joke. Yeah, exactly. It looked like him. Yeah.
It didn't look like him.
No, it did.
It was like even the outfit.
Oh, the joke?
Oh, yeah.
Even the outfit looked the same?
Yeah, it did.
It looked like the Frank Miller kind of joker.
Yeah.
More than anything.
And again, his whole scheme, like it was this incredibly elaborate 15-year scheme, but the
final step of the scheme was he just walked into parliament dressed as a cop and just
started firing indiscriminately.
Like that was in the plan.
Yeah.
And just do that.
Why would Q put his hard drive into the MI6 mainframe?
Yeah, none of them made any sense.
Well, that's a topic for another day or the day we reviewed it, I assume.
Were we doing this?
No, we weren't.
Okay, we'll come back to it.
That was 2012.
Let's do a James Bond episode.
Yeah, absolutely.
What we've always been training to do.
People have been saying do a James Bond one. So I think if Let's do a James Bond episode. Yeah, absolutely. People have been saying do a James Bond one.
So I think if we do
do a James Bond commentary,
which we will,
I reckon we do Skyfall
because it's easy to talk about.
Like Casino Royale
is a better film.
Yeah.
But I'll just end up talking,
like just watching Casino Royale.
Oh,
look at the car flip.
You know what,
the other thing I don't like
about these current
James Bond movies,
which on the whole I do like, I like Daniel Craig and they're all, they're way better. Oh, also I don't like about these current James Bond movies, which on the whole I do like.
I like Daniel Craig and they're way better than the last ones.
Also, I didn't like Skyfall because he had weird skinny suits.
Like they were super skinny.
Like if you want to wear them, that's fine.
That's the thing that people love most about these movies.
It's the thing you hate the most.
People love the fashion.
I guess so.
Anyway, you couldn't run around in those.
No.
Like you said, doesn't he have different jackets for different suits?
Yeah, he has a big one for actual moving and a medium one,
a large one for moving and then a medium one for just standing around
stock still and holding a martini, like, just one wrist up, like, ooh.
You know what I mean?
I know what you mean.
Wouldn't you want to see him swing and he just bursts out of his suit?
Yes.
Do you want to see that?
Yes.
Absolutely.
Sorry, you were saying the one thing you hate about those movies.
Yeah, it's all this returning James Bond to its status quo,
but it's happening really slowly.
Like every movie ends with, and now he's James Bond.
Right.
But then the next one is like, it's a secret from his past.
And he's still finding his feet.
Well, we should talk about the Spectre trailer.
Yeah, sure.
That's right.
It's a piece of news that came out.
Yeah.
Which is that again. Yeah. So I've got Dave Bautista. he's in it as the henchman and his his secret henchman
ability seems to be able to just punch a guy's head off what the hell there's a bit you can see
his eyes going punches a guy's eye out so i don't know whether i think i think you can also do the
one-headed neck snap that's which is difficult at the best of times yeah you know
apparently he's like he's very kind of um like he's also very charming and smart like he's not
just a standard henchman oh okay what's the last henchman that you remember is it vulcan from
tomorrow never dies no it's done the face yeah okay was he oh he was a henchman wasn't he yeah
oh no actually oh I don't know
that movie's not very good
it was unclear
do you remember Vulcan
from Die Now
Live and Die
Tomorrow's
Get the Newspaper
or whatever it's called
Vulcan from
Australian Gladiators
yeah yeah
I don't remember that
no
okay he's in one of them
great
I think the last
really iconic
henchman must have
and maybe the only
is Jaws
well there's Jaws
there's Oddjob
oh yeah there's Oddjob
you're right
yeah but they all
they died out
they died out when
Jaws
got married in space
yeah he flew out into space
with the love of his life
yeah
weirdly though
he comes back
in the last
Pierce Brosnan
Bond role
which is
a game called
Everything or Nothing.
Yes, that's right.
And the actor who plays Jaws came back in like mo-capped or whatever.
Richard Keel.
That's him.
And you fight.
Who's the late Richard Keel now?
I think he died.
I think he died.
Yeah, you're right.
So you fight, you're Pierce Brosnan and you fight like in his prime Jaws.
Right.
So it's back in time.
Yeah, I guess.
It's a flashback.
Yeah. I mean, it's in the story. so it's back in time. Yeah, I guess. It's a flashback. Yeah.
I mean, it's in the story.
It's as you go.
Well, obviously it's going to be in the story.
You fight Willem Dafoe.
Oh, that's right.
And it doesn't matter.
It's actually a pretty sweet game, or it was for the time.
Anyway, Spectre.
Spectre trailer, we're getting back to it.
We see a little bit of that guy.
Blofeld?
Yeah, Blofeld.
The actor that is clearly playing Blofeld.
Yeah.
And we see Ralph Fiennes fighting with the character from Sherlock.
Moriarty.
Moriarty from Sherlock, who is obviously,
like on all the photo calls and all the press conferences,
he's MI6 agent,ny goodman or whatever and then
clearly he's gonna turn coat and be a bad guy and they i love how like people knew that was
gonna happen because that guy looks he doesn't he looks like real life sinister oh yeah but then
they have him in the trailer wrestling with him yeah so that's that twist kind of revealed like
why would you put that in it was a fast enough cut though that i think a lot of people would
have missed it yeah i, I guess so.
Yeah, I don't know.
So you had,
what's his bloody name?
Christoph Waltz.
There we go.
He's clearly Blofeld.
He's got the bloody Blofeld jacket as well.
Or a similar kind of modern...
Well, that's the standard issue
Bond villain jacket.
I guess it is.
So they're like,
probably on the whiteboard at MGM,
they're like,
we've got to bring back
the Bond villain jacket.
Narrow jacket,
Mandarin collar.
Bring it back.
Do you reckon, though, some people would say-
Turtlenecks.
White cats.
He could be Dr. No.
I guess so.
Do we see his hands?
No.
Oh, yeah, probably.
I don't know.
I mean, he doesn't have to-
He could maybe get his hands-
He could get his hands cut off in this movie.
Yeah.
And then he's got pincer hands.
You're right.
Pincer hands, that's it.
But in this movie, it seems to be that James Bond you're right but in this movie it seems to be
that James Bond
has a dark secret
yet again
it's like his twin
no it's like
his adopted brother
or something
because that was
in the last trailer
like he grew up
with this guy
and then he's like
oh James Bond
you've returned
and you know
we're friends
or we were friends
or something
you know
there's all that biz though
do you need it to be
like a dark secret
from his past or could he just do a mission i would rather he just did a mission that's what
all the other bond movies were about doing a mission do a bloody mission yeah because the
last one was also a lot about going back into his past and look it's his family home and
kincaid is there and i feel this whole run has been they want it to be this long ongoing saga
i don't think it should be like
you were saying i think he should have been james bond by the end of casino which he was he was yeah
exactly he's got the outfit he's got the gun he says bond james bond yeah that's it and then but
they just want to keep this run going yeah and have him they want everybody wants to weave destiny
into these movies yeah yeah exactly which is why i like the mission impossible movies which we're
going to talk about later but there's no destiny he's just doing a mission there's no destiny
there's no rhyme or reason it's just just masks and missions just taking off masks one after the
other all right that's enough about that because i feel like i want to veer off into other territory
which we did five or six times okay so logan's run is getting a remake well that's already been
announced they were talking years ago they were talking like were talking like Ryan Gosling was going to be in it
and whatever.
Oh, yeah.
You're a fan of the original?
Is Logan's Run the one where you were killed after a certain age?
Yeah, you're like 29 or something and they kill you.
I can't remember the exact age.
So Gosling has to be out because he's over the age.
Yeah, but he looks –
They could de-ageify him, I guess.
They don't need to.
He looks like 26.
Yeah, that's true.
He's fine.
If they were like he's 45, he's 25,
I'd be like, yeah, he's ending in all of those things.
That's fine.
But apparently Simon Kinberg is going to do the story treatment,
who's done a lot of stuff.
He's doing one of the Star Wars spin-offs.
He did Days of Future Past and a bunch of other stuff.
Oh, yeah, okay.
He's the man of the moment.
He's the new...
Who's the guy who did Into Darkness?
Linda Loff, except people like him.
Oh, sure.
Great.
Does he have that on his business card?
Yeah.
I'm the new Lindelof, except people like me.
So, yeah, what do you think about that?
All right.
I liked all that stuff.
That movie's from 76, but it feels like it was from early 70s
because Star Wars was just the year after.
That's right. And there's a big difference between star wars and logan's run i haven't seen logan's one in ages but i liked it i remember
liking it but it's all that it's it's that very kind of stanley kubrick x everything's very future
and you know the society is gonna get you there's a lot of slow zooms onto things there is yes it's
also it's it's basil exposition is the lead guy in the original.
Oh, of course he is.
That's right, yeah.
So that's pretty sweet.
Yeah.
Don't know the actor's name.
No, it doesn't matter.
Yeah, he doesn't listen, so it's fine.
Unless he does and there's just a single tear.
Single British tear.
No, I like that.
That feels like a movie ripe for a remake,
but at the same time we did recently get In Time with Justin Timberlake, which is also about young people on the run.
Otherwise, they'll become old or something.
No, they run out of time and they die.
They run out of time and then they die, yeah.
That's what I meant.
Sorry.
Yeah.
So, yeah, fine, whatever.
Yeah.
Do it.
I don't think it's, people would get upset.
People don't love it enough to get upset if they remake it.
Do you know what I mean?
And people love it, but I feel like it's not like a Star wars where if you remade star wars people would lose their minds do you think
that they're gonna sort of make because it feels to me because it's about young people being young
yeah sure they're gonna hold on to being young but then they've got to be old and grow up yeah
and not be young anymore do you think it's gonna be like a like a maze runner like a divergent
like a whatchamacallit what's the one with the arrows arrow hunger game
yeah hunger games there we go which there was a new trailer for this week what did you think
i didn't say it i agree with you was it exactly the same was it just bits from the last movie
there was a bit of extra bits it's just did you get sad when philip seymour hoffman was in it
yeah did you get happy when stanley tucci was in it I didn't see him. Oh. So that worries me.
We're looking out for you, Tucci.
Yeah, it looks fine.
I'm looking forward to it.
We'll do our annual Hunger Games slash Doctor Who episode.
Oh, yeah.
Great.
Two great things mashed together that shouldn't be.
Anyway, what were you saying?
Oh, are they going to make it a Hunger Games style young person's movie
by the way
that it
as it's been developing
up until this point
I don't think so
but if this is kind of
new blood and whatever
yeah it's entirely possible
because at this point
who cares about
Logan's Run
but who cares about
teen movies
teens
teens
teens bloody love them
yeah
actually there was also
a Maze Runner I think trailer this week or recently Maze Runner keep on mazing about teen movies teens teens teens bloody love them yeah actually there was also a maze runner
i think trailer this week or recently maze runner keep on mazing get out there yeah it's um i didn't
mind that movie actually i i would see the second one i probably wouldn't go to see it but i get out
of the maze in the end yeah but then is it is it are we ever out of the maze within a maze something
like that makes it oh no. It doesn't matter.
Okay, great.
It's not important.
Was it too complicated a movie for you?
Yes.
Yeah, that's true.
Sure, that'll do.
Yeah.
It'll stop me having to explain it.
Right.
Yeah.
Anyway, the director of Birdman, what's his name?
I can't remember.
Yeah.
Is it Alejandro something?
Let's not make any leaps.
Sure, okay.
Anyway, he's doing a movie called The Revenant.
I was going to say Jose Ramos Horta, but I think he's a dictator.
Okay, right.
Anyway, yeah, the director of Birdman, he's doing The Revenant,
a movie currently, which has Leonardo DiCaprio and...
That sounds like a movie that's been a long time coming.
I recognise that name.
It's... What is it? Alejandro Gonzalez in Arrito okay cool I was right there I'm gonna look up Jose Ramos Horta good it's uh Leonardo Caprio and Tom Hardy and it's basically it's a 19th century
kind of explore explorers film where they you know come across you know Native Americans and
there's all sorts of trials and tribulations it's like pocahontas but like after that happened oh sure yes and like really
like grim and gritty and okay and all that bizzo he's so it's a gritty reboot of pocahontas yeah
basically what the point i wanted to make is apparently it's gone way over budget it started
off at 95 they always do these historical episodes and And it's gone to like $135 million.
And the other thing is apparently there's infighting between the cast and crew and the
director because he's really pushing the limits.
It sounds like an Apocalypse Now kind of situation.
It sounds more like an Entourage the movie situation.
If anything, yeah.
Leonardo wants more money to do the movie, but Ari won't give him more money to do the
movie.
I mean, he would, but then bloody Billy Bob Thornton won't give any money to do the movie. You know what I mean? But they've all got the money to do the movie. I mean, he would, but then bloody Billy Bob Thornton
won't give any money to do the movie.
You know what I mean?
But they've all got the money to do the movie.
I mean, Turtle could give him the money.
Turtle could give him the money to do the movie.
Just take Turtle's money, Leo.
Yeah, exactly.
A lot of the problems stem from he's only shooting with natural light.
Oh, that's, yeah, okay.
So his actual filming window is like three hours a day.
I guess so, depending on, and also he's filming it in order, which is unheard of for a movie.
Well, not unheard of.
It does happen.
And not only that, he's doing it in one shot like he did with Birdman.
Now, it's not actually one shot because there are cuts in Birdman.
Yeah.
But...
He's doing that weird tracking effect for the whole movie.
So this is just apparently spiralling, which I find fascinating.
Look, I don't really have anything to say about it
other than I'm very interested to see how this turns out.
Me too.
Have you ever seen Heart of Darkness, the Apocalypse Now documentary?
I've not, no.
Me too.
I want to see it, though.
Let's watch it now.
All right.
Pause.
Also, just for the record,
Jose Ramos-Horta is the United Nations Special Representative.
He's not a dictator.
He's not a dictator, so I apologize to Jose Ramos-Horta.
Please don't send me an email, Jose Ramos-Walter.
Now, Pixels isn't out here this week.
You heard anything about Pixels?
I've heard nothing but bad things.
I've heard people are mad because somebody ruined
its perfect 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.
It had a perfect 0% and then somebody was like,
oh, it's actually not bad, and everybody's like, boo!
No, you're wrong.
Isn't that?
The same thing happened with, they call it the Bucky Larson, don't they?
The what?
I think Film Drunk called it pitching the Bucky Larson.
Oh, that's great.
Film Drunk's great, by the way.
Good website.
But yeah, they reckon it's going to only open in number two in the US with like 23 million
behind Ant-Man. Apparently it's going to only open in number two in the US with like 23 million behind Ant-Man.
Apparently it's just a disaster.
Well, I've heard it's, yeah, look,
we're not going to do an episode on it.
I'm not going to watch it.
You know, if it was out this week,
like the same week as the States,
then I'd probably talk about it.
But I'm not making people listen to it,
like two weeks after it's out.
I've heard it's just soulless
yeah like it's just there's no enthusiasm there's no enthusiasm they don't even look like
they care about like all the characters are supposed to be these former video game experts
in the 80s but it looks like none of them played them or care about like apparently like the way
that they also use the games in the movie doesn't make sense like they have cheat codes sometimes
they work sometimes they don't.
But, like, why do they?
And then you get, apparently, at the end, so spoiler alert, I guess, if you care,
they bring in Q-Bert, right?
Oh, that's right, yeah.
And he helps them because they win him, I guess.
Yeah, right.
So he's like their minions.
Oh, sure, yeah.
Every movie needs a minion.
And I'm talking about the actual movie minions, by the way, not like, you know what I mean?
Like a little thing you can sell
and whatever.
I know you know.
But just in case there was that.
Secrets I didn't know until he told me.
And at the end, apparently he's one of the only good things
in it, Q-Bert.
Right.
Because people love Q-Bert.
Yeah.
Because of Wreck-It Ralph.
Because of Wreck-It Ralph, yeah.
And he gets turned into a sexy lady for josh
that's right yeah like he wins this prize which is a woman which is a boy yeah like it's odd that
wreck it ralph did this like three years two three years ago something like that much better
and nailed it yeah and in this movie in pixels like the space invaders are the bad guys but
then pac-man's a bad guy and then then they're the ghosts of the good guys.
I feel like as well, this is almost unfuck-uppable, this movie.
I don't know how, when you bring in Adam Sandler and Kevin James as the president.
Right, sure.
I haven't seen it.
I shouldn't, you know.
We have seen it, though.
But again, like I've said many a time, if I watch a trailer to something
and they can't trick me into thinking it's good, it cannot be good.
Like if you get the 90 minutes, two hours of a movie,
you compact it down to two minutes and you can't find two minutes
of good material or like a couple of minutes of jokes that are good
that you can sell, it's not a good movie.
Yeah, fair point.
I looked at it and went, this looks terrible. The special effects look really good. They can sell yeah it's not a good movie yeah and they could i looked at it went this looks
terrible this the special effects look really good they do yeah just watch the short film yeah
which is three minute short film and i hope the guy who made that got a lot of money for this
because he's never selling anything else again but you know what the other thing is
futurama did this and they did it much but do you remember that episode it's a great episode
i i think i
can't remember i saw a review or read a review where the person said this could have been
ghostbusters this could have been ghostbusters yeah yeah and it's just you gave it to the wrong
people right chris columbus though directed who did he's done a bunch of good stuff he did the
first couple of harry potters which i don't love but yeah i don't think they're i think they're
probably the weakest harry potters but you know they kicked off the but I think they're probably the weakest Harry Potters. But, you know, they kicked off the universe and they're kids' movies,
so they're not for me.
Oh, sorry.
Adil wants to know if we could do a video game movie episode.
Sure.
Yeah.
We'll do it when, so whenever the next one comes out,
say it'd be Assassin's, I think it might be Assassin's Creed.
It's going to be Assassin's Creed or Hitman, Agent 47 maybe.
One of those.
We'll do one of those.
Okay, right.
So, yeah.
Okay, tell you what, we'll do that.
We'll do, we'll start, we'll kick it off with a brief review of Hitman Agent 47, which you
can just copy paste from here.
It's not very good.
And he looks weird bald, the guy in it.
Just copy and paste that.
We'll put it in that episode and then we'll talk about video game movies.
I'm trying to think who would be a good, the hit man.
Jason Statham?
Yeah, Statham would be the best.
You have to get a guy who already looks good bald. yep and neither of those two got all often didn't this
new guy doesn't yeah oh no what about the new transport let's have a solid neck as well you
need a solid neck because otherwise you look like you're real skinny in the color yeah you're right
maybe you've got leukemia people say vin diesel for years i don't feel like it suits him though
and he'd have to be pale they'd'd have to digitally pale-ize him.
Yeah.
Yeah, he gets a bit of sun, doesn't he?
Yeah.
He's out there.
Torstein wants to know what we think about a very serious thing that happened this week.
Uh-oh.
In terms of there was a massive bidding war between three major studios that Sony ended
up winning, putting in millions of dollars for the rights to make an emoji film.
This is Battleship at worst, right?
Because at least there's rules to Battleship.
I love how we've got to a point where we're like,
well, at least Battleship was like that.
At least Battleship had a solid concept.
There's ships and they battle.
You know what I mean?
Then maybe aliens could, I don't know.
Wow. I wish I'd invented emojisjis i'd be a billionaire by now would you though because like is that the thing that you can
monetize right or monetize i don't know yeah anyway somebody clearly has the rights to it i
guess you're right yeah i suppose i don't know but you know what if pixar could do it i don't
think anybody else yeah what about like i, I mean, the Lego movie worked.
People have said that.
Sure.
But what is this?
What is it?
Like, are they people?
Have you seen Inside Out?
Yeah, I saw Inside Out.
I actually really liked it.
Yeah, it's great.
So is it like emotions that are?
Yes, that's true.
But people would just be hanging out to see the poop with eyes though, surely?
Now that's true.
But people would just be hanging out to see the poop with eyes though, surely?
I thought Inside Out was like, I've felt, for me, Pixar movies have been a bit of a downward slide.
Like we've kind of seen it all, but I'm like, Inside Out was really good.
Yeah, no, I enjoyed it a lot.
Yeah.
Though I did mention in my review that I get really, it worries me that it's all inside
the human head and it's such a finite world.
Like those little people are trapped inside that girl's brain.
Oh, sure.
And that really.
Do you think that's where insanity comes from yeah definitely of course it does so yeah there you go but look leading on from that terrible idea yes um look i'm on board because
it didn't it's not going to cost me any money is it sure if i was a studio head i'd be very
concerned yeah absolutely um but duane johnson though he's re-teaming with Brad Payton
who they did San Andreas together.
Oh, yes.
To make a Rampage movie based off the video game Rampage.
I had that on the Atari links.
Is he going to be the giant monkey man?
I don't think they can because then he's mostly not in it.
Yeah.
Okay, for those people who don't know,
Rampage is a game from the 80s and I guess 90s.
It's been ported like a billion times.
Probably not a billion.
That's probably an exaggeration.
But where there's three characters in it.
I guess you can call them characters
and they get transformed into a giant lizard,
a giant rat and a giant gorilla.
I think so, yeah.
And then you pick one of those characters
and you just smash up a city.
Right, yes.
And you do that for like a hundred levels.
And that's essentially the game.
It's a lot of fun, but it's very repetitive.
That's what I remember about it.
And I guess this would... That's so odd that they're...
They're taking another swing at video game movies?
Well, no, they're taking another swing at just smashing a city movies.
Same director in The Rock.
Hey, let's just have The Rock react to the city being smashed but i guess the reason that a lot of people hated san andreas well it wasn't very
good but also there's no villain in that no like you have like you have you was it yeah we go and
griffith they'll use you and griffith there we go oh dominic where it doesn't matter um and
yeah there's there's nobody to blame for the destruction.
It's just pretending we've got, we've just, I guess it could be funny.
Aren't they, yeah, that's what I think they're going to do.
Aren't they mistakes of science?
The Rampage monsters, yeah.
Aren't they like scientists who, well, one of them is?
I don't know.
That is a good question.
Are you looking it up?
No, I'm looking at Rampage World Tour, which was the sequel.
Yeah.
So they flew them around the world to smash up different cities.
Yes, that's right.
Yep.
Oh, yeah.
What are we deciding on?
No, no.
Yeah, they were humans.
And then if you take too much damage, you revert back to humans. yeah uh yeah which is the dream isn't it absolutely isn't that what you want
i don't want to be this monster anymore oh god um yeah like i guess because we've done
godzilla super serious sure monster smash and city movie and we've had pacific rim which is kind of
Monster Smash and City movie, and we've had Pacific Rim,
which is kind of super serious, bad accents, little bit of levity.
Yeah.
I guess there's room for a funny one.
I guess. And Rampage would be the funny one.
I feel like we're going away.
I've got a letter later on it on Dark and Gritty.
Yep.
Anyway, we can talk about that later.
Or we can talk about it now.
Oh, yeah.
Do you want to talk about it now?
No, let's talk about it later.
Oh, man.
I just scrolled down.
I'm scrolling up again.
Scroll up again scroll up
again idiots uh we got to get out of this new segment what feels like hours ab initio del toro
apparently eyed for a star wars episode 8 villain oh yeah great good as any uh jurassic world has
topped the avengers for the third highest grossing film of all time wow with on the back of that they
announced uh jurassic world 2 i guess it's's Jurassic Park 5 for June 22nd, 2018.
I hope it's Jurassic World 4 brackets.
I hope it's Jurassic World 2 brackets, Jurassic World 5.
Yeah.
I'll watch that.
So, yeah, third highest grossing film of all time.
There you go.
The three highest grossing films.
You're welcome.
You're telling me that?
Just the filmmakers.
Sure.
Do you think it's worthy of being third?
It knocked off the Avengers.
The third highest grossing.
It was a solid popcorn movie.
Yeah.
That's what they do.
They sell a lot of tickets.
Yeah, it's mass appeal, man.
They must have to go down the militarized dinosaur route for the next one, right?
Because you can't do another park or come back to another abandoned route for the next one, right? Yes. Because that's the only...
You can't do another park.
Yeah.
Or come back to another abandoned park.
Yeah, no.
I think so.
Yeah.
And we've got B.D. Wong in the chair and he's stroking like a white little dinosaur.
He's a pet little dinosaur Blofeld style.
Great.
He's wearing the Neru jacket.
Of course he is.
He's wearing the Bonneville jacket.
Okay, I'm on board.
He would be a good Bonneville.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
That was what you were saying. Yeah. Just pointing things out that you say. Oh, yeah. Okay, I'm on board. He would be a good Bon Vel. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. That was what you were saying.
Yeah.
Just pointing things out that you say.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, look.
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That's sunrisechallenge.ca.
We were going to talk about the Fantastic Four movies this week,
but we've decided that we're not going to do that.
Correct.
So we're going to talk about, take through the Mission Impossible,
the journey, the 19-year journey that's been the Mission Impossible films.
Wow, has it been 19 years?
96 was the first one, so there you go.
You can't tell.
Yeah, you can.
In what aspect do you mean, you can't tell. Yeah, you can. In what aspect do you mean you can't tell?
Okay, the first Mission Impossible movie opens,
because I re-watched one and two today.
It opens on somebody observing some data on a two-foot-thick CRT monitor.
And that at the time would have been meant to be like,
this is the cutting edge of technology.
But you know what?
I find the first one, unlike the second,
it's of the time, but it doesn't feel dated.
Because it's all like, it feels more like a real movie.
Like 2 isn't a movie.
It's just a series of ridiculous action sequences
and dead-end suits.
So much swirling.
Yeah, exactly.
But yeah, you obviously know that the whole thing
is based off a TV series.
I do, from the 60s.
And early 70s, I think.
It went for a really long time.
Yeah, it went for like eight or nine years or whatever it was.
Peter Graves, I think his name was, who was the original John Boyd's character.
Jim Phelps.
Jim Phelps, that's the one.
He was going to come back for the Mission Impossible movie.
Oh, interesting. I can't remember whether he was going to play that role, so it was going to come back for the Mission Impossible movie oh interesting
I can't remember whether
he was going to play that role
so it was going to be a continuation
but he hated the idea of
that character turning bad
a lot of people did yeah
because he was the
like he was the main man
he was the Ethan Hunt
he was the M
no
oh no he wasn't was he
he was the
he was sort of the Ethan Hunt
of the TV series
yeah
and he's the
that is the only original character
I think that made it to the movies
that is correct I saw a handful of mission impossible episodes as a kid oh yeah
so i didn't have a particular love for it but i'm like oh this seems to be interesting there's
gadgets yeah there's masks there's masks yeah exactly but yeah like apparently because that's
something i never thought about that there was apparently a big backlash from the of the first
movie i can't remember of fans of the original tv series who are like you can't make him the villain you can't kill
john voight you can't kill john voight exactly spoiler alert by the way yeah sure yeah um we
should do some kind of rating system for these okay actually about this there's two questions
i want answered i'm ready for this what's what's the mission okay because a lot of them it's like
what is what are they doing like there's a lot of them it's like what is what are they doing like
there's a lot of that and the second question is does he go rogue okay or who goes rogue who goes
rogue right and there's i'm gonna say off the bat that in this because we're doing this because
next week uh mission impossible rogue nation company's coming out yeah and in it it seems like
everybody thinks the im team has gone rogue again and i feel
there should be a scene in it where ethan hunt's just like hey remember the three other times you
thought we went rogue and then it turned out it was actually somebody else who went rogue
and we copped the blame for them going rogue but then it turned out we we did all the work
and we fended off you and the guys that had actually gone rogue.
And then we proved that we hadn't gone rogue.
It was the other guys who went rogue.
Anyway, you remember that?
Well, it's probably not us again.
All right?
I'd imagine every time the IMF agency is like, well, because they must be sick of us by now attacking them.
So maybe this time they've gone rogue for real.
That's probably true, yeah.
Because they're like, oh, we pushed them pretty far. To be fair jim phelps in the first one did go rogue yes probably
because he'd been pushed too far by a series by the by every event in the tv series or the the
government assuming he'd gone rogue so eventually he did go rogue he went fuck it all right i will
uh okay and we should also have a third rating which is the tom cruise hair rating yes for each
movie do you want to do that at the Tom Cruise hair rating for each movie.
Do you want to do that at the end after we talk about each one or at the start?
Let's do it at the end.
Okay, good call.
So what is the mission for this first one?
In the first one... Because I re-watched it as well, yeah.
In the first one, there's something called the knock list, right?
It's the non-official cover list.
Yes.
So you've got people who were in the CIA, right?
There's spies in the CIA. And basically, if you're a spy in the CIA, you get captured
by, say, the Soviet Union, who still exist. No, not really, but really. Basically, you
say, hey, I'm a spy for America. And then the government, the American government goes,
yeah, they are a spy. And then you just swap. Like if you've got a captured Russian spy, you switch.
Yeah.
But what happens if you're-
Are there masks involved?
There are no masks involved.
Interesting.
So that's the thing.
That's the thing.
You get prisoner exchange.
Yeah.
You get off scot-free, but you don't get to wear any masks.
Knock free.
Yeah, exactly.
You get bloody knock free.
But if you're on the non-official cover list, you're like, the IMF are like a, they're sort
of like a freelance team, really.
So if they get caught,
you just,
they just kill them.
There's a lot of opportunities to go rogue there,
isn't there? There's a lot of opportunities because as they say at the start of every
Mission Impossible movie,
if you are caught or killed,
the secretary,
who I assume is a government secretary,
not just a secretary,
will disavow all knowledge of your actions.
So basically if they get caught,
the government's like,
we've never heard of them and they get killed.
So basically the knock list, which is the list of all those unofficial agents,
gets into the hands of the bad guys, or half of it does anyway.
You need the decoding part.
You need the decoder.
You need the other half of the list.
You need the real names list.
And anyway, what happens is, hang on.
This is the thing.
I think this movie.
I saw this literally like three hours ago.
It's good, but it's unnecessarily complicated. Here's the thing. I think this movie... I saw this literally like three hours ago. It's good, but it's unnecessarily complicated.
Here's the thing, though.
I think audiences have gotten dumber.
I remember at the time going,
oh, yeah, this makes a lot of sense.
Yeah, this is good.
I think you can kind of gloss over a lot of it, though.
Yeah, that's true.
You can.
Okay, so basically the first scene is a sting yeah like basically uh
the the government has determined that they know someone's they know they know someone's gone rogue
they know it's a guy this they know somebody on the team has gone rogue yeah and they're gonna
sell this knock list to max so basically they've set up a they've set up a sting to send all the team to retrieve this knock list.
Yeah.
Or to get photographic proof of somebody stealing the knock list.
Yeah.
And then they're going to catch who was on that bad guy's team.
Yeah.
And then it turns out that everybody is killed except Ethan Hunt.
So they're like, well, he's probably done it.
Yeah.
You know?
Even though he was.
That's direct dialogue from the film, he's probably done it. Yeah. You know? Even though he was. That's direct dialogue from the film.
He's probably done it.
Though I think only in the end, only two of those team members ended up dying at the start.
So Emilio Estevez, who's in it, which is great.
He's uncredited.
He's still playing Elevator.
He's uncredited in that movie.
I think it's because he was in a Tom Cruise movie.
Yeah, he was in...
Tom Cruise was in a movie.
Tom Cruise was in Young Guns.
There we go.
And he's uncredited.
Exactly.
Yeah.
So that's a...
And...
No, no. Okay. So Emilio Estevez is killed.s. There we go. And he's uncredited. Exactly. Yeah. So that's a. And. No, no.
Okay.
So Emilio Estevez is killed.
Yep.
Elevated.
Kristen Scott Thomas's character is killed.
Correct.
She's stabbed to death.
Yep.
Hannah is killed.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The other lady.
The other one.
She's blown up.
Who looks a lot like Julia Stiles.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yep.
And Jim Phelps and his wife fake their own death
but to what end
criminalness
criminal activity
criminal activity
going rogue
going rogue
going rogue
so it's not like
a flat out action movie
is it
well there's no gunfights
there's no gunfights
it's the only
Mission Impossible movie
without a gunfight
they're really
overcompensated into
there's pointing of guns
oh boy did they
there's a lot of
pointing of guns
but you know what you don't the movie's not poor for, boy, did they. There's a lot of pointing of guns, but you know what?
The movie's not poor for it.
No, that's true, yeah.
There's a lot of very tense action sequences.
And one very silly action sequence at the end.
On the train?
The helicopter.
I think that's amazing.
No, it is not.
It is garbage.
You ever try and fly a helicopter down a tunnel,
you'll crash straight away.
Look, I can't say I have.
I can't speak to the validity of that scene.
But I think that action sequence looks amazing for the time.
Okay, fine.
Because, okay, let's all blue screen that, right?
Yeah.
Obviously, they didn't really strap into a speeding train,
which they would have done now.
Yeah.
Because that was in the era as well.
You know the bit where Tom Cruise runs from the fish tank?
Yes.
That was the first kind of stunt they got him to do in it, because the director was
like, that looks like shit when we use a stuntman.
Right.
Can you do it?
So there's a scene for anyone who hasn't seen it, but if you haven't seen it, what are you
doing listening to this?
There's a scene where he's got the explosive-
Red light, green light.
Red light, green light, hostile lasagna.
So 90s.
So Emilio Estevez to say hostile lasagna anyway but you smoosh it together and you slap it on something and it blows
up after five seconds and he blows up the fish tank to escape from his uh his imf handler yeah
kind of guy who he probably could have just punched probably could i mean the whole restaurant was imf
wasn't it mostly yeah yeah i, a few innocent bystanders.
Probably.
Yeah, but they can be attacked by fish.
It's fine.
That is fine.
So, yeah, so then he does his little, like, I know people say Tom Cruise is amazing at running, and he is.
He looks weird.
Yeah, he does, yeah.
He looks weird.
What do you think of the heist part of it, though?
Because there's that, the most iconic moment, which is probably the worst part of the film
also, because it just got parodied for 20 years.
Oh, it did too.
Like every MTV Movie Awards, there was a Ben Stiller.
Yeah, every Leslie Nielsen movie.
Yeah, yeah.
Every scary movie movie.
Yeah, true.
Oh boy, did it ever.
Yeah.
But that's an excellent scene.
I agree.
Yeah.
So basically, so then he goes to steal the knock list for real
so that he can sell it to Max to root out the real mole.
Yeah.
Which is John Boyd and it's Bible verses and I can't really remember.
There is a scene, there's, because it was 1995, 96?
Six, yeah.
So the internet was just a thing.
Yeah.
So what I did notice about these movies is they are very keen
on putting the latest piece of technology in the movie.
And in this case, it was the internet.
So he goes to Usenet, which was like pre-internet message boards.
And he goes to like, he figures out that Job is communicating
to Max via Bible verse news
groups.
And he goes to like all these Bible news groups, which each enable you to make a post on each
chapter and verse of the Bible.
Oh, so he's got, okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so he goes to Job 3.14.
That's what that was.
Cause I was kind of doing it.
What like also editing at the same time, I got one eye on it.
I'm like, what's this?
I'm like, that doesn't matter yes it's one of those weird contrivances where before anybody knew what the internet could do yeah somebody in the script department is just
like you could probably make posts on chapters and verses of the bible on the internet why not
that's probably a thing that exists now it probably is a thing that exists it's probably
a reddit thread for every chapter and verse on the Bible. I do not doubt that. Somebody send us
that link. All of them. No, don't.
Yeah, but
the heist. So he basically has to steal
the knock list for real. So he gets
together a ragtag team. He's got Ving Rhames
who's great. He's the only one other than Tom
Cruise who's in every one of these movies. That's true. He doesn't
feature prominently in every one.
He takes the guy who's not
Gerard. Jean Reno. I was going to say Gerard Depardieu.
Jean Reno and he-
Wow, this is a real
Jose Ramos Waters situation.
It's Jean Reno.
Jean Reno and they get,
and the bird, the wife,
whose name I don't remember,
the actress's name.
I could look it up
but I'm not going to.
Don't worry about it, man.
Let's just call her Angelina Jolie Light.
Okay, great.
That's what she looks like.
It's weird that John Voight is married to the in the movie to a woman who looks like his daughter
it's not that weird it's a lot of people in Hollywood look kind of the same yeah I guess
so you're probably right yeah but yeah so he drops on the ceiling and he's on the bloody
mac or whatever and he's tapping away on the keys and there's sweat coming off the glasses and he
because the floor's pressurized so he can't
let anything and it's and it's a sound like it sounds sound detecting chamber yeah it's a
temperature detecting chamber there's a dude who's like vomiting oh yeah he's trying to come back
into the room but then he keeps vomiting it's a very tense scene yeah and you know what at the end
he knows that they came in yep and. Because they accidentally dropped the knife.
John Reno drops the knife and then they escape
and he realises somebody's downloaded the knock list.
Yep.
Like, he could have just probably come in,
quickly downloaded that and left.
Like, it didn't afford them that much time to escape.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Like, they would have still been in the vents
when the security was called and whatever.
They should have just invested in a really fast winch.
Yeah.
Zip down, tap it away, zip up again.
Zippity up.
Yeah, you're right.
That is the...
Or like some sort of...
Just zip down and put like something that blocked the door.
Yeah, exactly.
A piece of wood.
A piece of wood to block the door.
That's what I'm saying. What a weird chamber. Yeah. Yeah. A piece of wood. A piece of wood to block the door. That's what I'm saying.
What a weird chamber.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But it looks great.
Like, it's a really cool kind of aesthetic and it's a very, like I said, it's a very tense scene.
And it's probably the highlight of the movie, I guess.
I mean, the train bit's great as well.
Why do you hate the train bit?
Because it's weird and blue screeny.
Yeah.
I don't hate the train bit.
I just hate the helicopter chase.
Okay, sure.
Because it looks, again, you can't fly a helicopter down a bloody...
What about that sweet wind machine they got?
They got a specialised wind machine.
Oh, yes.
You can blow 140 miles per hour.
Right.
Oh, that's pretty good.
And so you can see the ripples in Tom Cruise's face or whatever.
For sure.
It looks like there's incredible speed on that train.
Yeah, yeah.
And with him hanging on to it, it very much feels that way.
Did you like the way, though, Jim Phelps was mashed by the helicopter?
Oh, he really gets mashed.
Yeah.
Great.
I feel like there are a lot of great, like, 80s, 90s villains' deaths,
but we don't get that anymore.
No, that's true, yeah.
Like, you know, Speed?
Yeah.
Bloody, what's his name?
We very rarely get people falling off a building now,
like a very extended shot of somebody, like a view from the top of a building.
Hans Grubering.
Hans Grubering, when somebody falls off a building.
Yeah, you're right.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
Yeah, what's it?
Dustin Hoffman.
Not Dustin Hoffman.
Dustin Diamond.
No.
Lou Diamond Phillips.
Lou Diamond Phillips.
What's his name? He's dead now. He's in Bloody Easy Rider. No. Lou Diamond Phillips. Lou Diamond Phillips. What's his name?
He's dead now.
He's in bloody Easy Rider.
Oh.
Dennis Hopper.
He kind of takes his head off on a speeding train.
Another speeding train moment, which is fantastic.
You know what I feel?
Here's where I feel it disappeared.
In Blade.
Yeah.
Blade pushes Donald Logue's face into the side of a train.
Yeah.
Because he's a vampire, he regenerates.
Yeah.
And I think that's the turning point because people are like,
well, you can't do that to a regular person now.
You can only do it to a vampire.
Because if you do it to a regular person, that's cruel.
You know what I mean?
I'm okay with it.
Yeah, I know.
Exactly.
That's what I'm saying.
It's brief.
Yeah, yeah.
So it's fine.
You know what?
This movie is good. Okay. No, I haven't Exactly. That's what I'm saying. It's brief. Yeah, yeah. So it's fine. You know what? This movie is good.
Okay.
No, I haven't finished, all right?
I feel you would like this movie a lot because there's practical effects in it.
Yeah, I do like that.
There's a scene right at the end where Tom Cruise takes off his Jim Phelps mask.
Yeah.
And that's a real mask.
You know what?
They say that.
It is.
The collar's big as well. You can notice it. I'm sort of making a video and i don't know whether i'm gonna put it out
i don't know whether i'll finish it in time but it's so it's it's so dead on yes i just i i can't
i i there must be some cgi there no i don't think there is they say that that was pre-cgi and also
you'll notice that it's a lot thicker than the regular like in
the other ones there's like a quick cut yeah somebody pulls the mask off yeah what i also
enjoyed is that in the first mission impossible movie um tom cruise's ethan hunt exclusively
disguises himself as people that look almost exactly like ethan hunt like he disguises
himself as some sort of kremlin officer right at the start who's just a slightly wrinklier Tom Cruise with a mustache
and then in the first time they attempt to retrieve the knock list
he's like a southern senator who looks exactly like Tom Cruise
except he's slightly wrinklier and has grey hair.
And he's also on TV?
Yeah.
So does that mean that he's established himself over years as...
No, that's the real guy.
I don't know, man, because he looks exactly like Tom Cruise. That's what I'm saying. No, he looks... That's the real guy i don't know man because he looks exactly
like that's what i'm saying no he looks that's the real guy but that's what i'm saying there's
tom cruise ethan hunt only disguised himself as people that he looks almost exactly like
but in the rest of the movies they're just like yeah just chuck on a mask yeah yeah look i do i
do love that jim phelps mask i do but i don't know i just think there's something else there
i reckon there's a practical effect behind the scenes
thing that we'll find
and you'll be pretty
embarrassed.
Is it a classic movie
Mason?
I reckon it really
I reckon it's super
solid.
I reckon it stands up
on its own.
I agree.
Yeah.
Like even if they
never did any sequels
I reckon you'd be like
hey remember that
Tom Cruise movie
Mission Impossible?
I haven't seen it
in 10 years.
It was pretty good.
Good practical mask scene good good practical mask
scene good practical mask scene people will remember that yeah yeah yeah um yeah no it's
great i think people should watch it yeah okay so the questions were we've established the plot
he's gone to gray okay who went rogue jim phelps and ethan hunt oh he did go rogue didn't he yes
he did oh it's true that's good all right he did. Oh, that's true. That's good.
All right, that's one black mark against Ethan Hunt, I guess.
What's the mission?
We did that.
We did that.
How's his hair?
Solid 90s hair.
Solid 90s hair.
It's a bit long.
A bit of a flat top. Yeah, it's a bit longer at the front.
If that movie had come out like a year before,
he would have had like the George Clooney, like the Roman cut.
It was just the same.
Didn't that come out after?
Maybe, I don't know.
A couple of years either side,
he would have had that weird bangs.
The Kaiser Sozai.
The Kaiser's the male bangs look
with the Roman soldier look.
You know what I mean?
Who does Nicholas...
The caster Troy haircut.
Yeah, exactly.
The bloody...
The Gallagher.
The dumb and or dumber.
Yeah.
No, it's good.
It's a solid, solid movie.
Yeah.
And all those things we said are true.
Yeah.
Now, let's go on to something that isn't a solid movie
and is, in fact, a bad movie, Mission Impossible 2.
Let's skip forward to the year 2000.
Yeah.
Now, also, I should mention, I remember reading, I couldn't remember where, that the first
Mission Impossible movie initially was going to have the original team getting killed off
at the start.
Oh, that would make a lot of sense.
I don't remember whether that's true though or not.
I remember reading it.
I don't know whether it's true.
But they all hated it.
Yeah, that's right.
A few of them stormed off and they were all kind of going to do it and then they were
like, this doesn't like the one we were in.
But I mean, if they were in their prime in the late 60s,
they can't carry a franchise, surely.
No, they certainly can't.
There would have been a bloody love boat, the movie.
No one's making that a franchise.
I bet there will be.
You don't see bloody Captain Stubing with a bomb in his head, do you?
You don't see Captain Stubing hanging on the side of a plane.
Other things that happened.
Other things, yeah.
So, Mission Impossible 2.
I didn't watch this one this week.
I watched this today.
You just watched it.
Like an hour ago, yeah.
What is it?
What's going on?
It is the complete...
You know what?
It's weird if you watch them in sequence.
It's odd that in the Mission Impossible timeline,
there's a brief period where Ethan Hunt's like,
you know what I'm going to do?
I'm going to fire two guns at once all the time
and just flying spin kick people
and just shoot at things till they explode.
Like in the first one, he's all,
I know some martial arts or whatever.
I'm a special operative.
He has restraint.
He has restraint and he thinks
things through but in the second one he's just like i'm just gonna spin around on a motorcycle
and just shoot guns like all the time well this is obviously the john woo influence this is well
yeah i did watch the 40 minute behind the scenes on this yes because i'm it was amazing i had such
a good time watching it but a lot of it's just like yeah tom cruise is amazing he's a great guy
and whatever and he's doing all his own stunts it's and john was like yeah look i made the action sequences and then
we wrote the story around it you can tell yeah it's very evident they're not even that good
that's what i was gonna say they're not like they're so they're so non-ultra non-realistic
yeah there's no weight to them and because the story doesn't make any sense,
you're not invested in any of the characters, nothing matters.
And it's kind of boring.
Yeah, absolutely.
Because it's the case of like Ethan Hunt can do no wrong.
Yeah.
I understand why they wanted to get John Woo for America.
Because if you watch some of these old ones, if you watch The Killer,
that's pretty amazing.
There's some other ones.
Face Off. It's a other ones. Face Off.
It's a good one.
Face Off is actually pretty good.
Paycheck.
No.
But I think there's a certain point, and it is Mission Impossible 2, where they're like,
okay, what does John Woo do?
He does people shooting with two guns.
He does people spinning around and the camera follows them and they spin around.
He does doves.
He does doves and fire.
He does all these weird stunt things and whatever.
And they're like, okay, just do those.
We don't want to see anything else.
We don't want to see any nuance or anything.
We just want this and we want...
No, it's no good.
Initial cut was three and a half hours and it was R-rated.
A lot of blood and whatever.
That would have been better.
You know what?
The one kind of scene that I'm impressed with,
you know the bit where he's got the knife near his eye?
Oh, yes.
That's real.
And that was the side of the last minute,
and they just tied a cable to the knife
and had Doug Ray Scott using all his weight.
Oh, to push down on it.
Wow.
Yeah, so that could have gone very south.
Oh, yes.
But all the behind the scenes is just that.
They're like, well, you know,
we're going to get somebody else to do the rock climbing,
and then Tom Cruise is like, I'll do the rock climbing.
And Tom Cruise is the greatest man in Hollywood.
It's like at the peak of Tom Cruise.
Oh, yeah.
Is he crazy kind of fame?
You know what I mean?
Like it's just around before he broke up with Nicole Kidman
and all these kind of rumors started flying about or whatever.
What's the mission though?
The mission is, is it?
No, there's a virus
There's a virus called Chimera
Right?
And there's a cure to the virus called Bellerophon
Right?
Yes
And basically
Tom Cruise's buddy
Who is
Boris the Bullet Dodger from Snatch I think
Okay
He's the same actor
Yep
Anyway he's a scientist and he's developed this
And basically he's like Okay I've got to get this virus to ethan hunt so he injects it into himself okay and then
he escapes but he has to you have to get you have to be cured of it before 20 hours passes otherwise
you die and then he he is he is recovered by what he thinks is Ethan Hunt, but it's actually Dugray Scott wearing an Ethan Hunt mask.
Because he was the MIF guy.
Yes, he was an IMF guy who doubled for it.
They say that twice he doubled for Ethan Hunt,
but they never explain why.
Why, yeah.
Maybe it's family functions that he didn't want to go to
or something like that.
I don't know.
They're clearly not the same height either.
No, exactly, yeah. So that's why the same height either. No, exactly. Yeah.
So that's why he's got all the Ethan Hunt masks.
Yeah.
Fair enough.
And then basically, okay, so it's Ethan Hunt's job to assemble a ragtag team of IMF agents
and destroy the virus.
Yeah.
Because if the bad guy's only got the virus and not the cure,
if the bad guy doesn't have the virus, he's only got the cure,
then he's got nothing, right?
Yeah.
And the bad guy scheme is to, well, there's two bad guys.
Yeah.
There's Tom Elliott?
What's the British guy's name?
He's a British bad guy.
Oh, Dougray Scott.
No.
Dougray Scott's mission, Dougray Scott. No. Doug Ray Scott's mission.
Doug Ray Scott wants.
This is great listening.
Doug Ray Scott wants to.
Watch us unravel.
Listen to us unravel the plot of Mission Impossible 2. He wants $30 million from the head of this bio company.
Yeah.
To purchase $30 million worth of stock options in that company.
So that when they release the virus
into the general population,
everybody will have to go to that company
for the cure and their stock options
will be worth billions of dollars
and they'll get super rich.
Brendan Gleeson's in it.
Brendan Gleeson is the other bad guy.
That's the guy I'm thinking of.
Okay, there you go.
Anyway.
He's great.
Yeah, so...
Not in this.
Anyway.
Which is weird because surely if you...
Because they do
they get
they wrest the stock options
out of Brendan Gleeson
in this scene
yeah
look anytime
there's an action movie
there's stock options involved
you've got a bad movie
I'm pretty sure
but anyway they're like
okay now you
Dark Knight Rises
at gunpoint they're like
yeah
and at one point
they're like
okay we're gonna
we're gonna kill you
unless you sign over
let us buy these stock options.
And he's like, oh, you'll never, whatever.
Surely they could just wait until his company is worth billions of dollars
and then get him at gunpoint again and take billions of dollars from him.
Oh, yeah.
What's the difference?
You're right.
It's the same.
They should be like, give us the stock option.
He'd be like, no.
And then be like, okay, we'll be back in a year.
It's much of a muchness really, isn't it? It really is, no. And then be like, okay, we'll be back in a year. It's much of a muchness really, isn't it?
It really is, yeah.
But anyway, he has to assemble a team, including Ving Rhames.
Yes.
Some guy, Australian, real Australian guy called Billy.
Okay, right.
Something.
Is he a hacker?
No, he's a helicopter pilot of sorts.
Great.
And he's just a general guy.
He's kind of the Simon Pegg character.
Is he anybody that we would know?
No.
He looks familiar, but I couldn't tell you who he is.
Okay.
I'll look it up later, but I won't.
It's probably on Blue Heelers.
It's probably been on Blue Heelers.
In fact, I am going to look it up.
Type in Billy Mission Impossible Blue Heelers question mark.
Well, look, you know what?
And also Tandy Newton.
Yeah, who's great, actually.
Who is Dougray Scott's former girlfriend in the movie.
Yeah, and Dougray Scott tricks her at one point
because he's wearing the Ethan Hunt mask.
That's true, yeah.
Can you explain to me the scene where Ethan Hunt
puts the Ethan Hunt mask on Richard Roxburgh?
Oh, that's right.
Richard Roxburgh's in this movie.
Which is actually a sweet scene.
I forgot that Richard Roxburgh's in this movie.
He's the rake.
He's Australian rake.
Yeah, he's Australia's rake.
He's good. I should like him a lot. But how does he... It's a shame
he's in so many garbage movies. Van
Halsey. League of Extraordinary
Gentlemen. It's a shame he's in so
many weird Victorian era sci-fi
bad movies, right?
So in that scene,
Ethan Hunt's wearing a
Richard Roxburgh mask and
Richard Roxburgh is wearing an Ethan Hunt mask.
Yes.
And Ethan Hunt drags in what looks like himself
and Duke Gray Scott shoots him.
Yep.
With those masks, can anybody put them on
or do they have to match your facial structure?
Well, at the start of two, they're like,
okay, well, Duke Gray Scott can double for Ethan Hunt
because they've got a certain match.
Sure.
And apparently not, though.
Apparently Richard Roxburgh and Ethan Hunt also have a match.
They've got the exact bone structure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, did he...
Where did he get the Ethan Hunt mask from?
He just had a money.
And did he also bring a Richard Roxburgh mask?
He also brought a Richard Roxburgh mask.
Yeah, yeah.
Look...
This movie is just a cavalcade of people taking masks.
It's just mask on mask, mate.
Yeah.
Also, the thing about these masks...
You know, before I watched this,
I distinctly remember a scene where somebody's wearing a mask,
they take off the mask, and then they take off another mask.
It's a third person.
But that did not happen in this movie.
It's just wishful thinking on my part that there's a three mask scene.
I'm surprised there's no three masks in this movie.
That is amazing to me.
You know what the other thing that's wrong with this movie?
He's invincible. Yes. Like, he's invincible and he's good at everything yeah he can rock climb he can spin around on a helicopter yeah and that's and a lot
of a lot of what's good about four is that he makes a lot of mistakes and a lot of the tech
is kind of breaking down yes but this is just whatever everything's great there's so many
there's about four or five scenes where he just shoots at something and it explodes. Yeah, yeah.
He shoots a, there's a scene where,
there's a scene where Tandy Newton's like,
they're trying to escape from this facility
that has the biological weapon in it.
Oh.
And she's like, oh, you can only leave with,
only one of us can leave alive, can't they?
And he's like, yep.
And then he just, he throws a bomb at a wall
and he shoots the bomb and the wall explodes. And he just, he leaps out and he's like yep and then he just he throws a bomb at a wall and he shoots the bomb
and the wall explodes and he just he leaps out and he opens a parachute and he escapes where's she
she just stays there what what a part what part of that could she not just run with him jump together
grab the legs grab the legs exactly it's ridiculous and then he shoots like uh he's escaping from the the
facility at the end and he shoots a barrel of hazardous waste which then explodes then there's
there's a part there's the there's the chase sequence where all the bad guys are driving
mid-90s ford falcons which for america i don't think americans have them they have they have
ford sure yeah we there's a specific car in australia called the ford falcon everybody had one for a 20 year period every suburban bogan in australia
had a ford falcon in a weird shade of green with the stripe actually like a real thin stripe down
the side yeah and they're the instead like it normally in these movies like the the bad big
aerial yeah not only in these movies the bad guys are driving audis or porsches or something like that but clearly in this there weren't enough because
this this one is filmed in australia and clearly there wasn't enough budget to you know or there
weren't enough porsches around to just blow up so they're just like yeah just get some falcons
whatever yeah they're cheap yeah you can steal them Oh, man. I can't remember what I was going to say.
It's not fun.
Oh, I guess it's fun.
It's not fun.
There's the Limp Bizkit song.
Take a look around.
I think that's, you know what, don't hate me,
but I actually don't mind that song.
Of course you don't.
It's got the good guitar riff.
Like, it's not a good song.
Sure.
Have you seen the film clip?
Yeah.
It's very funny.
Yeah.
But best hair though, right?
I don't know.
I feel it's too much.
Okay.
Like I feel four.
You've changed your tune on that hair, mate.
It's pretty good, but I feel like it's too floppity.
Okay.
Like it's too, it's very much of its time, definitely.
Sure.
All the haircuts are very much of their time.
Let me tell you.
But Tom Cruise has the best.
Tom Cruise is the man with the best hair of his era.
He's got the most adaptable hair.
He's got the most adaptable hair.
Exactly.
I remember when NY2 came out,
I'm like,
I'll grow hair like that.
You can't just do it.
No,
you can't.
It's impossible.
Yeah.
It's a real mission impossible.
In a way it is,
isn't it?
Also,
I should mention that Dougray Scott was,
we've talked about this before,
but he was going to play Wolverine.
That's right.
And the reason he didn't play Wolverine
is because this movie ran long.
Oof.
So that cost him dearly.
Oh boy, did it ever.
But then again...
I mean, that's not to say he would have been Hugh Jackman
and had Hugh Jackman's career.
No, exactly.
Like, Jackman has...
Jackman is inherently more likable. Definitely. Imagine putting Dougray Scott in that Wolverine role. He'd be like, ooh, he's career. No, exactly. Like, Jackman has... Jackman is inherently more likable.
Definitely.
Imagine putting Dougray Scott in that Wolverine role.
He'd be like, ooh, he's unpleasant.
He's really charming, even though he's cutting a guy's head off or whatever.
Yeah, you're right.
The other thing is, Ian McCallum was supposed to play the Anthony Hopkins role, and he turned
it down, and because of that, he was then able to go and make X-Men and Lord of the
Rings.
Wow.
This is a movie of missed opportunities for everyone but Tom Cruise, I guess.
And Ian McKellar.
But he did it.
He made the right call.
I mean, Anthony Hopkins was in it, but that damaged him in no way.
No, because he's in it for like 10 minutes.
Yeah.
And he's like, this is Mission Impossible.
I think he says that, doesn't he?
He says it's not Mission Difficult, it's Mission Impossible.
And then Ethan Hunt throws the sunglasses and they explode.
Your timing's out slightly, but that is more or less what happens, yes.
It's sunglasses and then Anthony Hopkins.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Like, does he call him or does he appear?
They have a scene in person.
Great.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
You know what the other thing about these action sequences?
A lot of these action sequences are done in one continuous shot.
You know the bit where he leaps off the motorcycle and they collide together boy do i that happened
because john woo wanted to joust with motorcycles right those were his exact words i've watched the
behind the scenes i know this that they did they managed to do that in one shot where the
motorcycles are speeding and they're cabled up and they leap off and they crash together
yeah but it's cut in a way where it doesn't look like it's one shot.
That's true.
So it looks worse.
Yeah.
Like if you can do that in one shot, leave it as one shot.
Yeah.
Anyway.
John Paulson, who plays Billy.
I don't know him.
No, you don't have to.
Best known as starring opposite Russell Crowe and Jack Thompson in The Sum of Us.
Also, he is the founder of Tropfest.
Is he? It's the short film competition.
Oh, that's good.
The world's largest short film festival.
So he's done some good things.
Yeah, it sounds like he was doing this as a lark, if anything.
Yeah, I'll do it.
Yeah, I'll do it.
Great.
So there's nothing about this movie you like?
No, don't even watch it as a joke.
It's not.
Do Grey Scott's double denim suit.
What about that?
It's triple denim, actually, because I think it's...
He's got a vest.
I think it's a three-piece.
Yeah.
That's of the time.
Yeah, boy, is it?
Yeah.
There you go.
Yeah.
Richard Rockford's South African accent.
Mm-hmm.
You know what?
I like the Metallica song from it.
Like, I genuinely like that song.
Take a look around.
No, not take a look around.
I disappear.
I disappear.
I know it's like late 90s Metallica or early 2000s.
It's not like heyday Metallica.
No.
But it's good enough.
Sure.
It's not St. Anger bad.
I understand.
No, it's certainly not.
That film click cost like $2 million.
The one that they filmed on top of a mountain?
Yeah.
Isn't that what I Disappear?
It's just them on top of a mountain.
No, in I Disappear, a whole city explodes.
Oh. Oh.
Yeah.
Two million bucks.
How many metal bands' entire careers could you fund with two million dollars?
That's a good question.
Well, there you go.
Even the Australian version of the soundtrack even had a Powderfinger song.
I think that's on the international one, though.
I know they're definitely different, but I think the Powderf sticks and i remember hearing at the time actually i remember i got up early
to hear the new powder finger song from this yes which is it's an okay song yeah um and it's a bit
dour for a mission impossible it is it doesn't fit no no because it's not in the movie either
but i i remember hearing that tom cruise liked this song and he picked it personally i went
i remember the time i'm like, bullshit, Tom Cruise doesn't listen to music.
He listens to space music and only space music.
So let's skip forward.
Worst, I guess.
It's the worst movie ever.
We determined the mission.
Who went rogue?
Just do Grey Scott.
Yeah, Tom Cruise doesn't go rogue.
I think it might be the only one where he doesn't go rogue.
No, he doesn't go rogue in...
No, you're right.
I am right.
You are right, yeah.
No, I was thinking of...
No, he definitely does go rogue in all the others.
All right, let's skip forward to three.
Wait, hair.
Oh, no, we talked about the hair.
I think it's his best hair.
I think it's his...
I think it's his third best hair.
Wow. Of the four we've seen seen what do you put it behind i put it behind three and four i reckon four is his best
hair you go back and you watch i i did watch it yeah i think two is too costumey it's costumey
hair is it too feathery it's feathery hair yeah exactly i don't know i agree to disagree about
okay mission impossible 3 what if that was what tore this podcast mission impossible 3 yes uh so
this rackets are just mission impossible 3 yes that's right so this is um jj abrams first feature
film it's also the highest budget for a first-time director 150 million dollars well and tom cruise
picked him personally
and I think again for this one
he tried to get the
original director back
and he tried to get him
for two as well
and he was like
no I'm done with this.
So
yeah it's
it definitely
revitalizes the franchise.
Yes.
Now I only watched clips
of this this week
and I don't think
you didn't watch this one.
Didn't watch it at all.
Have you seen it?
Yeah I liked it a lot
but it's a movie
that I liked a lot
but I've got no urge to revisit. Exactly. You know why not but I think we might be for different reasons. I don't watch it at all have you seen it yeah I liked it a lot it's a movie that I liked a lot but I've got no urge to revisit
exactly
you know why
but I think
we might be for different reasons
I don't like it
because it's like
it's got the sad subplot
like it's got
well not the
the sad wife subplot
yeah it's got
because Paul's got that
yeah but
no but I
this one it's at the forefront
okay
like his wife's being held hostage
I don't like that
I don't like
I don't like these personal stakes in these spy movies necessarily.
Fair enough.
I just want him to go on a mission that may or may not be impossible,
and then it turns out it was quite possible.
That's a reasonable request.
Yeah, thank you.
But you know what?
I feel like with this one, it's not as memorable as the second one,
but not in a bad way.
Right, okay.
Like it's obviously a better film, Yeah. Like, in every way.
Uh-huh.
But there's not as much as where you think about it
and you go, oh, yeah, that was pretty good.
Like, two, I just remember, this was bad.
I could list, like, ten things.
Oh, you know, actually, that I remembered,
I may have forgotten to note it down
because I didn't note down anything,
but in two, there are two completely bloodless,
soundless neck snaps.
Like, there's a scene right at the start where the bad guys hijack the plane
that the scientist is on and they crash into a mountain
and they kill like Dougray Scott as Ethan Hunt,
like kills the scientist.
And he does it like he leans over and he just sort of twirls the neck
and there's no noise and the scientist just falls down dead.
Like there's no, like you'd expect that.
That's not fun at all, is it?
That's no fun at all.
It's completely unsatisfying.
Like, did you just squeeze him until he fell asleep?
And there's another one later where Ethan Hunt like drops down on a guy
and like grabs his neck with the legs and he spins him around.
Yeah.
And it's clearly meant to be a neck break but he doesn't hear it well
seem to sleep well some asleep yeah mission impossible sorry what yeah what
I'm basically saying is two is more bad than three is good oh I see that makes
that's fair does that make sense yeah and three is solid I remember seeing it
at the time and going well they actually did something with this this also came
out at the time where Viacom, like,
wiped their hands with Tom Cruise.
They publicly came out and said, he's a weird lunatic
and he doesn't make us any money anymore.
Which isn't – he did make them a lot of money.
That part's not true.
The other part is, that's completely up.
That's completely personal opinion.
People who know him better than I do.
But it's – okay, what's the story he's do you remember he's
retired he's retired and he's but he's he's semi-retired and he's just an imf training yeah
he does all that and philip seymour hoffman who's the best villain i think in all of these movies
yeah fair enough um he is he's an arms dealer yep and he wants certain weapons or whatever and
for whatever reason i I can't remember.
I should have probably watched this.
He kidnaps Ethan.
Nah.
He kidnaps Ethan Hud's wife.
Look, it's a mark of a good movie if you can remember having not seen it in several years.
So if we have a poor recollection of this movie, it's not our fault.
It's the filmmaker's fault.
Fair point.
Yeah.
And this introduced the idea of the new kind of team. You know what it is? It's the Fast and. Fair point. Yeah. And this like introduced the idea of like the new kind of team.
You know what it is?
It's the Fast and Furious 4 of Mission Impossible movies.
Mission Impossible 3 is Fast and Furious 4 where it gets everybody else back and it finds
its feet.
Yeah.
But it's not amazing.
Yeah.
But it kind of sets the tone for the rest.
Okay.
Yeah.
Good.
Does that make sense?
That does make sense.
It's also, it made the least money of all of them. But I think that's Two's fault, not this.
Oh, absolutely, yeah.
Because Two made way more than one.
Yep.
But Two had, like, that had an amazing trailer and hair.
Yeah, and that built a solid audience.
Yeah.
Who were bitterly disappointed and then resolved to never see another Mission Impossible movie.
Exactly, exactly.
So this movie not making as much money, it made like $100 million less than they wanted it to.
Is not, I feel, its own fault.
Yeah, yeah.
There's a bomb in the head.
That's pretty good, isn't it?
Yep, there's so many bombs in heads.
And when the bomb goes off, the eyes point out.
I remember, I recall there being a very solid action sequence at the start
with Ethan Hunt and...
Oh, the Felicity...
From Felicity.
Felicity from Felicity.
Kerry Russell. Kerry Russell, that's her name. and Felicity from Felicity from Kerry Russell that's from Felicity yeah who's the JJ Abrams favorite yeah absolutely well there's a lot of kind of TV personalities and
is Greg Grunberg in it Greg Grunberg I'm fairly certain he is I can't remember at what point
but yeah there's also a scene he gets the coveted hey asshole role where you bump him in
the street he's like hey asshole you know what there's a couple of really good standout action
sequences though there's a bit where tom cruise on the bridge and a missile hits the car and he
gets flung into the side of a van or another car yeah yeah and and that's great and they really
threw him into that car yeah he would have demanded it throw me harder Throw me harder into the car. What is the infiltration scene?
Is there one in Mission Impossible 3?
There is, but I don't remember what it is.
Okay, great.
You know what?
They grab Philip Seymour Hoffman in the toilet and they copy his face.
That's right.
There's that part, which is pretty good.
And there's also a bit, the cold opening of the film is they shoot Tom Cruise's wife
and it turns out to be
one of Philip Seymour Hoffman's henchmen
wearing a Tom Cruise's wife face
sure
a lady henchman or a man henchman?
a lady henchman
that would have been amazing
that feels a bit contrived
in so far as there are no lady henchmen
in the previous two Mission Impossible movies
and then all of a sudden they're like
well we're getting Lady Henchmen.
And then one of them just happens to be wearing Tom Cruise's wife's mask.
Do you think Tom Cruise would be good enough to spot those masks?
Tom Cruise the actor?
Certainly, but more so the character of Ethan Hunt.
Because your face is probably raised like, what, half an inch, quarter of an inch?
Right.
So do you think he'd be like...
On his wife, definitely.
Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, he was distressed. think he'd be like... On his wife, definitely. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, he was distressed.
Plus there'd be the cutouts around the eyes.
Batman mask style, you know,
where they've just filled it in with weird coloured make-up.
So if you look at it for more than 10 seconds,
he's got weird mascara around his eyes.
There's also the sequence where Tom Cruise runs
for like 30 seconds straight,
and he runs through like, I think it's Singapore,
some Singapore.
Sure.
I don't know.
Singapore from sea to shining sea.
And the camera just stays on him and he goes through crowds and whatever.
Yeah, yeah.
It's pretty sweet.
It's not an action sequence so much as a pretty good long shot of.
They're after the rabbit's foot, right?
Yes.
What's that?
Explain it.
I reckon it's probably a decoder if I had to guess
that'll do
yeah
there's also a bit though
just this mysterious object
which is classic
bloody JJ Abrams
a mysterious thing
we don't know what it does
it may as well be
a box with a question mark
on it
that was every episode
of Alias
okay
we gotta retrieve
this Grimaldi artifact
Grimaldi
McGroldy
it doesn't matter
but that was every episode yeah apparently that's why Tom Cruise Grimaldi artifact. Grimaldi? McGroldy. It doesn't matter.
But that was every episode.
Yeah.
Apparently that's why Tom Cruise picked J.J. Abrams because he saw Alias and he's like,
Alias is a good show.
Let's get that guy and whatever.
Yeah.
And that's what happened.
It was a good show,
but it was one of those shows that spiraled into nonsense.
Like Lost.
Like Lost.
Another J.J. Abrams show.
But it's like one of those ones where if you look at
the character timelines,
you go, oh, everybody in this show has died and come back to life
and has 10 different alternate identities.
Greg Grunberg?
Grunberg.
Is he in it much?
Can't remember.
Interesting.
Yeah.
There's also a scene in it which is identical to a scene that happens in Lost,
and this movie came out after this scene happened in Lost,
where somebody dies
and they resuscitate him but it's a really long drawn out resuscitation scene and you
think it's not going to work and then they pop back up.
Oh yeah.
Like it's identical.
It's the same scene except for this one because Tom Cruise has a bomb in his head because
they shoot a bomb up his nose.
That's right.
And so then his wife.
Electrocutes him.
Yeah.
Like zaps his head with those heart...
Defibrillator.
Defibrillator.
Yeah.
Which actually don't work.
That's not the way they work.
Yeah.
The way they're designed is they'll only go off
if the person has an irregular heartbeat or no heartbeat.
So if it doesn't detect that in your head, it won't work.
It won't work.
Right.
So I guess...
We've discussed that on the show before, I think.
I'm sure we have.
There seems to be a lot of scenes in movies
where they need to defibrillate somebody
and then it doesn't work for a while, then it does.
Did it happen in San Andreas, right?
Yes, on the boat, yeah.
What they are now, it's literally you don't have to touch someone,
you put them on the chest and you stand back
because you don't want to have your hands on that person when that goes off.
No, you'll be electrocuted.
And the idea as well, they don't restart your heart,
they stop your heart if it's murmuring
and then it just kicks it back into gear. It's Motley Crue they don't restart your heart. They stop your heart if it's murmuring, and then it just kicks it back into gear.
It's Motley Crue that'll kickstart your heart.
But they're not always available.
That's right.
Imagine what they could have done with $2 million.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, it's fine.
Coke.
Yeah, sure.
Just a two-minute transaction and $2 million worth of Coke.
So, yeah, it's fine.
I wouldn't say I highly recommend it, but it gets the series back on track.
Yeah, okay.
Who went rogue in it?
Tom Cruise.
Tom Cruise went rogue.
Because Billy Crudup, who's actually the bad guy, thinks that Tom Cruise has gone rogue
and then releases Tom Cruise, who actually then goes rogue.
But then it turns out Billy Crudup has also gone rogue.
And all the villains in Mission Impossible are former agents who have gone rogue?
Maybe they should shut down the IMF as a whole.
Because there's a lot of...
Which is the story for five.
But then everybody would go rogue, wouldn't they?
Yeah, because you're just releasing rogue agents into the universe.
Because you'd be like, well, what else am I going to do besides go rogue?
I mean, I've got all these skills that are only either for not going rogue or going rogue.
And I can't. My option for not going rogue or going rogue. And I can't.
My option for not going rogue.
That's gone.
It's gone forever.
You did this, IMF.
Yeah, exactly.
You did this, whoever is running the IMF, this movie.
Lion's Fishburn.
Oh, yeah, because was he in three?
I think it's a different head every time.
It is a different head every time.
In four, it's the British guy who's not British in it, Tom something.
Kavanagh.
Yeah, Tom Kavanagh.
That's good enough.
He's in Full Monty.
I can't remember his name.
Brendan Gleeson.
Yeah, it's Brendan Gleeson.
But then he gets shot in the head like immediately.
That's right, yeah.
Yeah.
So, look, yeah, Mission Impossible 4, the latest one that is out.
Yeah.
That you can actually watch.
And it's probably the best it is
definitely the best look i like the first one a lot yeah because it has that very old school slow
paced charm to it sure like it's for me it's a rare movie like waiting for a bus exactly it's
like waiting for your death but it's it's a rare movie for me that is from pre-99 before the matrix before the matrix that
has a slow pace that i'm a lot like oh why did they like it is rare that the there's no gaps
that you desperately want them to just fill in with action and not just have people just walking
slowly to a telephone to get the call or whatever like it's kind of slow and it's got a
slow build but there's no gaps in it and because you found that with jurassic park didn't you going
back to that yes there's a lot of downtime in that movie oh boy oh boy yeah so sure what's the
mission in mission impossible for ghost protocol everybody's on a ghost protocol very much so
they go rogue, obviously.
Oh, everybody goes rogue in this one.
So basically, what is it?
Look, I watched the first 10 minutes before this.
I watched it today or yesterday.
What happens in it?
Okay, so the Kremlin explodes because there's a guy who wants to ignore that Kremlin thing.
That does happen, but it doesn't help the plot.
There's a guy who basically wants to start nuclear war
to kind of refresh the earth and start from scratch.
Which is a big call for a Mission Impossible movie.
Absolutely.
Normally it's a list, not a foot.
Because the new one's also a list.
Yeah.
Like Rogue Nation is a list.
Yeah.
So it's basically about Tom Cruise trying to stop him from doing that with
his with his crew but in the process that guy broke blows up the kremlin we think of um mission
impossible three hair ah it's back to basics yeah it's slightly longer it's meat and potatoes
meat potatoes hair isn't it but pretty good at the time also i forgot to mention in two
the um we're going back there we're go back to two just because i just remember
this is why i'm saying two is more memorable than three yeah that's true yeah to the the piece of
equipment is the digital camera digital cameras which like it was 2000 and they were just banging
on about digital cameras the whole movie like the whole there's a there's there's some there's
evidence that this the scientist was killed with this virus on this digital camera and people just
keep going back and people people are putting people are putting bloody memory cards in a
digital like giant like credit card size memory cards and digital cameras at least postage stamp
sized screens on them and people like wow people minds would have been blown in that
you know what's ridiculous about that Because the previous movie from four years earlier
had like,
you wear a pair of glasses
that look like glasses
that give you crisp
like streaming footage
to like a watch
or something.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I guess because
it's an actual real thing
you can buy,
they really...
But again,
in the first movie,
the internet,
that was the...
Anyway, sorry.
Which is what it's for.
That's fine.
So somebody wants to start
a nuclear war. Yeah, and Ethan Hunt has to stop that that from happening does he do it with a ragtag team
yeah he does right but you know what i'll say this when when this started i was like this is not
going to be good right because there's a scene where ethan hunt is sitting in a russian prison
cell and he has a rock it's just a rock and he's throwing it and it's hitting like the window of
the cell and then like the bar and then he catches it and he's doing that like it's just a rock and he's throwing it and it's hitting like the window of the cell and then like the bar
and then he catches it
and he's doing that
like it's a fucking baseball
like
so it's one of those things
where
it's this two again
where he's just good at everything
for no reason
but that's like the only
kind of thing in it
where you're like
then you realise
he's been in there
for three months
yeah but even then
you cannot
that's not possible
rocks are very spongy
in Eastern Europe
I don't know if you know that
I've never been actually I have they've got a bit don't know if you know that. I've never been.
Actually, I have.
They've got a bit of spring to it.
You know that.
I didn't touch the rocks.
Well, you missed out, mate.
You know what?
You're right.
I guess if you're there for three months, you'd be pretty good at it.
That's literally all you have to do.
Yeah.
I mean, how many times would he have thrown it and then he had to get up?
Yeah, that's right.
I'm saying a lot.
Yeah.
So in that way, I was like, I don't know about this.
Also, if anybody can bounce a rock off a thing, it's Tom Cruise.
Yeah, you're right.
He'll devote himself to that.
Do you think it has the best action sequences?
Sequence.
There you go.
There's probably one standout one.
No, there's the...
There's a heist.
There's a heist, which I enjoy a lot.
It's a sweet heist.
There's some sweet hand-to-hand in the building in Dubai,
wherever they are.
That's pretty good. Yep yep i reckon best action sequences
they're not ridiculously overblown yeah like in two and they exist unlike in one
sure so obviously the the big draw cover this movie is they went to the tallest building in
the world and tom cruise like swung around outside he sure did and you know and you can
tell because when you watch it,
it's obviously not green screen.
It looks incredible.
And look, all of that he was cabled up.
He didn't really climb up the side of it with sticky gloves.
But he's really out there.
And malfunctioning sticky gloves.
That's it.
And that's the thing.
And that's what makes this movie more exciting
than a lot of the other ones is because nothing is working.
Right.
It even starts off at the start. He goes to a payphone that has a ipad in it or something
that's right yeah and then it then it goes to self-destruct like all the stuff does in mission
impossible movies and it just doesn't work yeah mission impossible 4 also brings back the title
sequence where you see the fuse you see no well you see the few you see that in all that but you
see clips from the movie. Yeah.
Which happens in the first one, not two or three,
and then it comes back.
Isn't that odd?
It is odd, yeah.
It gives away time.
That's very TV.
Yeah.
You watch a movie and you watch a TV and you watch a TV.
I watch a TV.
You watch a TV show and they'll show clips from you know episodes and they just they built
that into the first movie for some reason like you can sort of figure out who the bad guy is
yeah if you watch just the opening sequence but i'm really paying attention but i feel like that's
also the problem with this movie the bad guy isn't clearly defined like and there's a bit where you
know he chases a guy through the sandstorm yes and it's the bad guy's henchman and then he takes
off his mask and it turns out to just be the bad guy. Yeah. But like, why?
Right.
Did they just want to have a working mask in it?
Yeah.
Because they hadn't really had a mask.
Because there's no mask.
Nobody wears a mask in their team.
They go to make a mask.
And then it malfunctions, right?
To do it.
Yeah.
And they can't.
So they have to do it with their real faces.
And Jeremy Renner's taking photos of a nuclear launch coat or something with an eye.
You know.
Oh, yeah.
I remember that.
Yeah.
Yeah. There's a bit in the...
The heist where they have to steal something thing is decent.
Jeremy Renner does the Mission Impossible...
He does the Mission Impossible hanging from the ceiling dive thing
except with a magnetic mesh suit.
But the sequence at the end is also pretty good
where they're in the car park
and Tom Cruise is trying to get the briefcase and whatever and he's fighting that
55 year old man whatever but tom cruise is pretty old now i guess yeah but i'll tell you what
there's little things in that where i'm just like tom cruise is amazing like genuinely amazing
there's a bit where before that car park scene he's just running down the street and he just
leaps a car like he leaps slides across the top and it's like a just running down the street and he just leaps a car like he
leaps slides across the top and it's like a van like it's not and he just keeps going that dude
would have been close to 50 when he did that and i'm just watching that going i would break every
bone in my body if i attempted like tempted to do that like that is incredible you break bones just
get into a car it's just regular so that's like he's he is amazing yeah like despite
his you know whatever you think of him personally what do you think of him i think he's great
and that's the thing a lot of the behind the scenes things for these movies they just are
tom cruise is so great and he's just kind of in the background like waving and every time he laughs though he's kind of yeah exactly yeah it's really it seems like he's a
it's like he's a person pretending to be a real person yeah yeah that's fair i told you how
christian bale modeled american psycho off tom cruise makes a lot of sense did you know about
that i didn't know that but if you read the book and I don't recommend it because it's not very good.
In your face.
In your face, Brett A. Snellis.
It's like I understand.
If you've never read the book,
it's basically a series of incredibly boring sequences of a rich guy going about his daily life.
Interesting.
And choosing his clothes and being a businessman
and then an
incredibly graphic murder scene and then it just repeats and like that is the point of the book
yeah like the idea being that he in american psycho he's either he's either a real serial
killer and nobody notices because it's the 80s and everybody's so self-involved yeah or he's just
it's all in his head and he's mentally ill and nobody notices because everybody's so self-involved. Or he's just, it's all in his head and he's mentally ill
and nobody notices because everybody's so self-involved.
Like that's the entire premise.
Yeah.
But the book itself is not very good.
The movie's better.
But I was going to say the reason you brought that up
is because there's a sequence in the book
where it turns out that Tom Cruise lives in the same apartment building
as the main character.
Because that is apparently that is the apparently the
number one defense in libel like if you if you based if you based a character on say a famous
actor yeah and that the character you've created is a really bad guy yeah then what you do is you
have a scene where they meet that they meet the actor then you can be like, well, obviously this isn't Tom Cruise because he's just met Tom Cruise.
So, you know.
There you go.
Yeah.
The thing that I heard Christian Bale say was he saw an interview with him
and Tom Cruise is all jovial and laughing and having a good time,
but there's just nothing.
You just look at his eyes.
There's nothing behind his eyes.
So is Tom Cruise a psychopath pretending to be a real person?
Impossible to say.
Sure. Sure.
Yep, it's a great movie.
What's his hair like?
Who goes rogue?
All the things.
All the things.
Everybody goes rogue, right?
Everybody goes rogue.
Everybody's rogue in that movie, yeah.
It really establishes the team, except every movie they swap out the girl.
Yeah, they do, don't they?
It's weird.
Yeah. That's disappointing. yeah they do don't they it's weird yeah
that's disappointing
they've got a weird
like there's some weird attitudes
towards women in these movies
sure
two especially
yes
two because they're like
yeah no it's
no good
though Michelle Monaghan
does reappear in four
that's true yeah
at the end
so his wife's not really dead
yeah
but she thinks he's dead
no
because she sees him and she's like, hello.
And he's like, I'm Tom Cruise.
I mean, I'm Ethan Hunt.
I'm wearing a Tom Cruise mask.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You were probably one of my potential wives.
Well, that's, yeah.
See, yeah.
I think she was on the list.
I'm sure she was.
Where did you, so that list got leaked.
Do you want to explain that?
I don't think it got leaked.
I think that's just.
You think it's a made up thing?
Maybe.
Supposedly...
No, I'm not even going
to bring it up.
You do some research.
Everybody just look up
Tom Cruise wives list.
Okay.
There's also a Scarlett...
I don't want to get put on a list.
There's also a Scarlett Johansson story
which may or may not be true about
because she was signed up
for one of the
Mission Impossible movies.
Oh, yes.
And there was some... Apparently some Scientology stuff happened and she was like i don't like any of this okay
right and she backed out let's talk about it and whatever yeah it doesn't matter uh so everybody
goes rogue uh why am i so afraid of tom cruise his hair's great though let's get back on track
yeah it is so you think it's his best hair? I think so. Some of the best gadgets as well.
Agreed.
This is where the Mission Impossible movies surpassed real life, I think.
Yeah, definitely.
Because we had that holographic hallway system. That's great, isn't it?
Yeah, that was good.
That's really good.
And also it malfunctioned.
Yeah.
So that's fun.
Well, it didn't actually, did it?
Because there was just more people.
Yeah, there was more.
It only worked with one guard and then two guards show up
yeah good stuff
you know that's even
cool they bothered to
even say that that
only specifically
does that like that's
pretty impressive
yeah yeah totally
god they measured it
right too because it
hit that
hit that corridor
exactly
great it's all good
anyway I think it's
time to move off this
until next week when
we come back to it
oh yeah sure
excited for Rogue Nation yes very much so apparently it's very good the early word is it's
pretty solid so you're looking forward to tom cruise being strapped to a plane and yes i'm
looking forward to a motorcycle chase that actually looks good sure it's great yeah you know what he
wears a hawaiian shirt in that i saw that long sleeve hawaiian shirt do you think do you think
that's what a person who's 50 early 50s thinks is a cool shirt do you think that's what a person who's early 50s thinks is a cool shirt?
Do you think that's what that is?
Or do you think he's gone rogue, so he's just wearing...
No, I think he's gone rogue.
I think that's what a person that age, in whatever disguise he's in, would be wearing.
Okay, sure.
Okay.
Is he supposed to be as old as he is?
That is a really good question.
I reckon he's supposed to be like 35. For this whole thing? Yeah. good question i reckon he's supposed to be like 35 for this
whole thing yeah for every movie he's supposed to be 35 i feel like he could be 25 i think he's
early 30s in the first one i feel like he could be 25 in the first one so maybe he's 40 mid 40s
okay all right okay but yeah anyway there you go you know what it's time for now what's the
time for what we're reading oh what are we going to read I'm doing the theme
what are we reading
today
I did put the theme song in
great
I remember
fantastic
what are you reading
what do you know
I didn't even put in
a what we're reading this week
I can still say something
what do you got
oh well I'm going to read
what I'm going to read
is because last week
we mentioned
or maybe the week before we mentioned Archie vs. Predator.
You did mention that.
Last week you mentioned Lando, the comic.
I did mention Lando, the comic.
Yeah, which was good.
I enjoyed it a lot, actually.
Oh, cool, good.
This week, will we see the debut of Archie vs. Sharknado?
Oh, God.
They're going mad at Archie comics.
I don't understand what's happening to them, but I love it.
People have written a few times saying,
would we do like a Sharknado kind of episode?
I don't want to.
No, neither do I.
There's nothing to them.
That's the problem.
Yeah, I don't want to watch them.
I don't think you can intentionally make a B movie
because you're kind of in on the joke.
The room, which I haven't seen, is the way it is
because when they made that,
they weren't intending to make it like that.
It's supposed to be a serious study of human whatever,
and it's nonsense.
But you can't manufacture that.
No, exactly.
Yeah, anyway, Archie comics clearly is –
there's clearly like there's two departments in Archie,
and one is just like, hey, just have Archie in high school
and all the fun stuff is happening and teen problems or whatever. And the other is like, what if Archie and one is just like, hey, just have Archie in high school and all the fun stuff is happening and teen problems or whatever.
And the other is like, what if Archie was killed and resurrected as a cyborg or whatever?
You know, there's just the other department.
It's two camps.
Yeah, exactly.
So I'm kind of enjoying that.
One of them has gone rogue, it seems.
One of them has definitely gone rogue.
Yeah, because there's afterlife with Archie.
Yep, yep.
And there was one like, there were two alternate realities where he married Betty or Veronica
and they both turned to hell for some reason.
I don't know what's...
And then I think he was assassinated at one point.
God, okay.
Anyway, yeah, I would like to...
These are all Elseworlds stories, obviously.
Yeah, I guess so, yeah.
But to counteract that, I'm actually also going to read a comic book.
I think it's an indie comic book.
It's called Wolf.
Okay.
It's called Wolf by Alice Cottff uh alex alice cott lee loffridge sure uh and it's sort of it's it
appears to be sort of a a film noir kind of supernatural kind of thing it's like it's like
your la it's like la confidential crossed with i don't know it's black and white. No, it's in color. Oh, boy. It's not like L.A. Confidential.
It's a name.
Yeah, all right.
Anyway, it's kind of like L.A. Confidential meets something Neil Gaiman, maybe, kind of thing.
Is it spelt like wolf, like the regular way of spelling wolf?
It's spelt like wolf, W-L-F-O-L-F, but the character's name is Antoine Wolf.
W-L-F-O-L-F.
W-O-L-F.
Okay. Look, I can't spell words.
Anyway, it was good.
Great, I'll check that out.
Yeah.
Hard-boiled paranormal detective with a death wish.
Sounds good, right?
Yeah.
Sudden responsibility for an orphan teenage girl
who might be the key to the impending apocalypse.
Plus it's LA Confidential.
How about that?
Because it's in black and white.
Yeah, because it's not in black and white,
though, it's in color.
Oh, okay.
I just thought, because, you know.
Oh, totally, yeah.
Sure.
Well, look, I'm reading Sweet Tooth again,
which I think I've talked about before.
You have, yeah.
I don't want to get into it, but it's great.
If you haven't read Sweet Tooth, it's super cool.
It's kind of like The Walking Dead meets
a boy with deer antlers.
Oh, sure, that's right, yeah.
If you like any of those things.
Oh, boy.
And, of course, we're going to see Mission Impossible this any of those things. Oh, boy. And of course,
we're going to see
Mission Impossible this week.
Which I'm genuinely excited for.
I have another one.
Oh, speaking of,
because we were talking about
Scientology,
I finished watching
BoJack Horseman
the second season.
It's really good.
I'm enjoying it.
I mentioned it last week,
I think, maybe.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And there is an episode
where Todd,
who's BoJack's best friend,
joins a cult-like improv group that is definitely not Scientology.
No, sir, it is not.
Do they even say this is not Scientology?
They do, yeah.
In fact, Tom Cruise apartment style,
he has the opportunity to join Scientology,
but then he goes one office over and there's an improv.
Oh, there you go.
It's pretty good.
Oh, also, I forgot to mention this.
Last week I was on an episode of Pop Quiz Hotshot,
which is a podcast about, it's a pop culture quiz show.
Hotshot?
Hotshot, precisely.
And it was like an MCU Marvel special to coincide with the release of Ant-Man,
which was last week.
And you were bloody up against it, weren't you?
I was bloody up against it. You were backwards against the wall. Backwards against the wall of Ant-Man, which was last week. And you were bloody up against it, weren't you? I was bloody up against it.
You were backwards against the wall.
Backwards against the wall because I don't, again,
as I mentioned on the show, I'm not competitive at all
and I don't know anything.
And it's me versus...
It's a great way to go through life.
Yeah, it is, isn't it?
It's pretty good.
You won at least one of those things.
I was by my friend Michael, who's a comedian,
and it was me versus his wife, Sarah,
and award-winning comedian
Simon Keck.
So you should check that out because it's good fun.
I will check that out.
Pop quiz hotshot.
Does it say Nicholas Mason in the title?
Might say Nick Mason.
Or Mason.
I don't know.
Cool.
Excellent.
I listened to your duck blur episode.
Oh, yeah.
There you go.
It was great.
I really enjoyed it.
Thank you.
On It's a Duck Blur.
I've got a letter here from Rob.
He says, hey, Nick and James.
As a fellow Aussie, I wanted to point out an Australian movie I watched called Kill Me Three Times.
I know what you're going to say.
And yes, most Australian television slash movies are garbage.
But this one is pretty great.
It's all star Simon Pegg.
Alice Braga, the sniper chick from Predators.
And I probably said that wrong.
And also the Borg Queen?
No.
The sniper chick from Predators isn't the Borg Queen.
Okay, never mind.
Yeah.
And the other, other Hemsworth. Oh, sure Queen Okay never mind Yeah And the other Other Hemsworth
Oh sure
If you like bumbling idiots
Chad Hemsworth
Exactly
If you like bumbling idiots
Trying to kill each other
I think you'll love it
So watch it
Or don't
I can't really make you
Keep up the good
Good or terrible stuff
Thanks for the laughs Rob
Yeah I've saw the trailer for that
It actually does look like a lot of fun
I've heard of it
And yeah it looks
Looks good yeah
And it's Australian
Which is
I feel like the only way
I'll watch an Australian movie
like a movie like that
is that they have to get
somebody international in it.
Oh, sure, yeah.
And I'm like,
okay, I'll watch it
because Ethan Hawke's in it
or whatever.
You know,
like that Australian vampire movie
that has...
Daybreakers.
Daybreakers.
That has Ethan Hawke in it.
Yeah, yeah.
And there's also,
those guys also did
a time travel one
with Ethan Hawke recently
which is apparently okay.
I don't know what it's called.
But yeah. Did you see... Daybreakers 2, this time we do time travel one with Ethan Hawke recently, which is apparently okay. I don't know what it's called. But, yeah.
Did you see...
Daybreakers 2, this time we do time travel.
Exactly.
Great.
Daybreakers is fine.
All right, should we get into the letters for this week?
Yes.
Well, before we do, Mason,
you got a ton of letters theme songs this week.
I did.
So, every week you refuse to edit in a letters theme.
Correct.
So, I request that the listeners send one in
by means of recording it and putting it on YouTube
and then tweeting me the link at Wikipedia Brown.
Yes.
Let me see if I can find one.
So he's going to pick one at random?
No, hang on.
It's whichever one I can find first.
Sure.
Hang on.
You can edit this out.
Now, you requested a specific thing last week.
You said...
I said tiny instruments, if you could.
But you'll take whatever, if it's good, right?
Yeah, totally.
Wait, hang on.
I do have a tiny instruments one here.
I've got to find it.
So this is from Chris Semmelbeck.
Good work, Chris.
A letters theme song, Ant-Man edition.
Hope you enjoy.
Here we go.
It's pretty good so far Time to read some letters. Time to read some letters.
Time to read some letters with James and Mason.
That's pretty great.
Pretty great, right?
Thanks, Chris.
I like that a lot.
That's his real voice?
Yeah, it's his real voice.
It's kind of sad in a way, but at least he's finally found some use for it.
There we go.
Okay.
This is from Sean.
So my fiance and I and one of her friends recently started Marvel Movie Monday,
where after work we watched one of the MCU films.
I consider this a giant victory for our relationship,
as this is the same person who has not seen Lord of the Rings
or the Star Wars trilogies or even Jurassic Park
and feels that is an acceptable way to live one's life.
So the first one we watched was Captain America,
the first Avenger this past Monday.
They've already seen the Iron Man films.
And during the scene where he crashes the hydroplane into the ice,
my fiance screams,
so that's why they call him the Winter Soldier
after he gets out of the ice cube.
Of course, after screaming, no, you idiot,
three things came to mind.
One, our marriage is doomed.
One, the nickname does kind of make sense for Steve Rogers,
only after he gets out of his ice cube, of course.
Two, hope she still marries me.
Three, how the hell does Bucky Barnes get the name The Winter Soldier?
Sorry for the long email.
I hope it led to some laughs.
Thanks, Sean.
P.S., can I be the official capsicle of the podcast?
Yes.
He makes a good point.
Correct.
Because, yeah, Captain America should really be the Winter Soldier.
Right, okay.
In terms of stuff that happens to him.
Right.
So the Winter Soldier, the term is from Tom Paine, who's like an American revolutionary.
Sure.
And he basically said-
Wait, is this history?
You're teaching me something.
This is real history.
I'm teaching you.
This is edutainment, all right?
And basically, in one of his speeches,
he talks about soldiers who are summer soldiers,
like so people who are soldiers when times are pretty good
and everything's fine and we're all, it's peacetime
and everything's cool, right?
And so basically a winter soldier is someone who's there all the time,
like even in super bad times or whatever.
So he's the winter soldier because he's there no matter what.
But in many ways because he has no choice
because his brain has been mind controlled.
But that's the premise.
So I think people actually at the time when the character was invented
were like, this is kind of offensive.
Because there was also a...
Oh, really?
Well, I think in the 70s there was like a...
Now I've run out of history.
But in the 70s there was a a now I've run out of history but in the 70s there was like a there was a
there was a winter soldier inquiry
and it was like people
it was like
I think it was
Vietnam era soldiers
who were like
like who had PTSD
and like were badly treated
by the government
yeah
and I think so
people were like
well why have you called
this guy the winter soldier
this kind of offensive
to those veterans
okay
but I think he definitely
was referring to
the original thing oh okay gotcha like a guy of a soldier who's there all the time yeah yeah fair enough
so it's not because he was also frozen no that's a coincidence but it i mean it also applies it
also definitely applies doesn't it yeah okay there you go i thought you'd know something about that
and there we go there you go uh i'm just gonna look that up keep keep going but i'm gonna look
that up to make sure i didn't get everything completely wrong this is from Tony from Ohio
hey Mason and whoever
love the show
I started listening to that episode 60
and I've since gone back
you just got edutainmented
god damn it
it's my least favourite thing
yeah
and I've since gone back to listen to the old ones
I'm just curious
how much of American culture
has an impact on Australia
I hear you guys reference
a lot of the same TV shows
and movies I watched growing up
meanwhile I don't know shit about Australia
except for koalas and Hubert Jackman.
Anyway, sorry most Americans are self-centered ignorant dickheads.
With that being said,
can I be the official self-centered American dickhead of the podcast?
Thanks, Tony.
I don't find that about Americans.
I mean, I've never met Americans in America
because I've never been there.
But in my travels.
Oh, yes.
But most Americans I've
met Americans I've met have been very nice sure yeah so I mean I think I've also met Americans
that I don't like but I've met a lot of people from a lot of places I don't like so absolutely
I don't think it applies to to Americans yeah I've said this before people say Americans are
the worst tourists but Australians are the worst tourists oh absolutely because they're fucking
everywhere yeah and I don't and they're loud and annoying and dickheads
and they're always drinking out of the biggest beer in the room
and wearing a flag as a cape and lighting their balls on fire.
That's every Australian who's around.
So, yeah.
Anyway, American culture.
Yeah.
Oh, did you find anything about the Iceman?
Yeah, it's pretty –
Look, the Winter Soldier investigation
publicised war crimes and atrocities
by the United States Armed Forces
and their allies in the Vietnam War.
There you go.
And there was, I think, in Winter Soldier Iraq
and Afghanistan an inquiry into American war crimes
during the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan
held in 2008.
So I think that's probably where...
Oh, okay.
Wait, wasn't Winter Soldier before that?
Yeah, maybe.
I think it was like 2005. Yeah, probably. I don't't Winter Soldier before that? Yeah, maybe. I think it was like 2005.
Yeah, probably.
I don't know.
I don't know, Mason.
I can't tell you.
I don't know.
Because you haven't been edutainmentized properly.
Yeah, correct.
I haven't.
Why does he have a metal arm?
What's that about?
What is that?
No, it doesn't matter.
Yeah.
Look, wasn't that bit good in Winter Soldier
where Black Widow throws like a thing on his arm
and then like disables his arm?
Yeah, that's pretty good.
That's pretty sweet.
Good solid work.
Yeah, I don't know.
Cap goes rogue in that.
Boy, does he.
It's great.
Yeah, I don't know.
We get so much American culture here.
I'm not saying Australian culture is bad.
I am.
Like pop culture.
No, there's some solid stuff.
Yeah, there's some solid stuff.
The thing about it is our population is so much smaller
that the ratio of great stuff to bad stuff is probably about the same.
But as a result, there's a smaller amount of Australian good stuff,
which we enjoy, but then because there's a massive ton of American stuff,
then there's an equivalent massive amount of good stuff.
You see what I'm saying?
I see exactly what you're saying.
So we get a lot of American good stuff.
And if you maybe don't see the Australian stuff,
that makes a lot of sense.
Yeah.
So like we can, it's weird because we can automatically translate American stuff.
Like we get all the American references.
Yeah, we do.
Like if somebody talks about...
The Winter Soldier.
The Winter Soldier, for example.
You can explain it to them.
Or like a weird brand of cereal or something like that.
Yeah.
We get it.
Yeah, even though we don't get Captain Crunchy, I know what it is.
Yeah, exactly. But it doesn't translate the other way. Yeah. And that's your Even though we don't get Captain Crunchy, I know what it is. Yeah, exactly.
But it doesn't translate the other way.
Yeah.
And that's your fault, America.
Do you guys have Dunkaroos?
I think they do have Dunkaroos.
They might have Dunkaroos.
Do you guys have LeSnacks,
which I think is...
I don't think they have LeSnacks.
They do in France.
They're just called LeSnack.
Very good.
Vegemite's good too.
I know a lot of people hate it.
It's how you do it.
Watch a video of Hugh Jackman
showing people how to do Vegemite and then try it or don't i feel i stole that joke i did my
friend jonathan schuster there's a joke about the snack does he listen to this show no then i'll let
it this out right climbing it as my own um yeah i don't think it got so what's some good uh australian
culture from our childhood i remember liking liking Around the Twist. Oh, sure, yeah. I remember watching The Ferals,
which is like a knock-off,
like a knock-off grosser version of The Muppets.
Oh, yeah.
Do you remember them?
Yep.
What else was there?
The Ocean Girl?
That was a show.
Was Hercules filmed here?
Yeah.
Or was it filmed in New Zealand?
It doesn't matter.
Yeah.
It doesn't matter.
But a lot of shows also come over here
and they change them
like we have
we mentioned Gladiators before
we had an Australian version
of Gladiators
we have like
American Gladiators
it was called in America
yes it was
yes
we had like
what else did we got
we got like
we get like Australian Idol
and the Australian version
of The Voice
and all that
although our Australian version of The Voice is judged by Ricky Martin,
the Madden Brothers.
One of them.
One of the Madden Brothers.
It doesn't matter.
Delta Goodrum.
Delta Goodrum and then another American guy probably.
Yeah, something like that.
Maybe the dude from Black Eyed Peas, but that might be another show.
No, that's not him.
Yeah.
No, what's not Will Arnett?
Will I Am.
No, he is in one of them he's
definitely okay fine maybe he's in the british one also i watched a lot of british stuff when
i was a kid growing up my parents love like the bill and like midsummer murders australia was
good because it was an it was a weird center point where we got a lot we got all the best
american stuff we got all the best british stuff so we're kind of spoiled in that way but a lot of
the stuff like the the kids shows would come in like dribs and drabs so you couldn't just you never even knew
when things were going to be on necessarily and then switch out shows for no reason so you'd go
to watch ninja turtles and then you get toxic crusaders sure right or whatever which i also
loved but yeah we just kind of got a bit of everything we got some astro boy didn't we
yeah dragon ball z we got power rangers We just got it. We got it all.
But I felt like you kind of... We got Super Force.
What was that one?
Super Force was a...
Like he was a pre-Iron Man.
It was about a guy.
He was an astronaut.
Great.
Good start, right?
It's set in the year 2020 where crime's gone out of control in 2020 right and he's a guy
he's an astronaut and he went he stopped being an astronaut and he went back to earth and then it
turned out his brother who was a cop had gone missing so he joins the police force yeah and
then it turns out he doesn't have the firepower to stop crime so he goes to like uh he goes to
like this this high-tech firm and they build him a super suit called Superforce.
And he gets an armoured suit and he gets a cool motorcycle.
You've told me about this.
Do you have this on DVD?
I have it on tape somewhere.
I have some copies that I taped off the TV in like 1991.
Now, just to be clear, his name is Superforce.
Well, I don't think the name is ever referred to.
Former astronaut who uses an advanced combat suit and motorcycle to fight crime in the
city of Metroplex during the year 2020.
The city of Metroplex, the Transformers robot.
No, it's a coincidence.
But it's weird because it was all adults on the show.
Yeah.
But it had like a Power Rangers vibe?
Yeah, but it was...
I don't know who it was for.
Was it the 80s or early 90s?
It was the early...
October 1990 to May 1992.
Why isn't it out on DVD?
I don't understand.
It also had Patrick McNee,
the late Patrick McNee from the Avengers,
as like a computer simulation of the former boss
of the company that built the suit.
The boss of Super Force.
The Super Force suit, yeah.
Because Force implies to me that there's a few of them.
It's like a team.
It's just the one guy. It's just the just the one guy look it made little to no sense and
if somebody can find me a copy of it digitally please send it to me somehow because i would i
would watch the hell out of that but it was also it was pre because you know how iron man
like he's got a super streamlined set because it's all cgi well this is pre that so he has like a big
astronaut helmet so he's like a big astronaut helmet.
So he's like a guy in this armored suit,
but he's also got this giant head.
It's pretty great.
Well, that sounds amazing.
Yeah, it's great.
All right, cool.
Does it still hold up?
Absolutely not.
No, it doesn't.
But like three episodes in,
he shoots down a helicopter with like several people in it.
It doesn't sound like it held up for the time.
No.
Hi, my name is Rodri and I'm from Wales.
I wanted to ask whether you like the grittier tone
that movies are going for nowadays
and do you think they'll keep that?
Thanks, James, and get Mason to make a YouTube channel.
Make it, do it.
I won't.
Okay, I tried.
You tried, didn't you?
Yeah, that's more than anyone can do.
So what do you think about that?
Grittier time.
We talked about before,
I feel like things are going the other way.
I feel we're finding a balance
and I'm happy with that.
But I feel like it's going to go the other way.
Like we'll find a sweet point
and we'll just keep sliding.
I see.
And then we'll be dying another day again.
Yeah, but I think maybe at this point
it's unavoidable.
But I mean, if you think of like,
even we're just talking about Mission Impossible movies.
First one, pretty much deadly serious.
Second one, even more deadly serious,
even in the face of incredible ridiculousness
and it being a bad movie.
And then third one, a couple of funny touches.
I feel fourth, like four was the sweet spot.
Like we've got Simon Pegg, we've got some funny touches.
We're all having fun, but it's good solid action. I think that that's where i want to be and i think five is going to be basically
the same sure yeah so but i'm talking like for everything though for literally like gritty captain
crunch and stuff yeah it's like a gritty reboot of captain crunch the serial like i'm worried that
everything's going to be like dracula untold or oh i see right which i actually didn't hate but
you know what i mean like yeah like yeah. Or like everything's Blade and...
But like the bad parts of Blade, not the...
Oh, I see.
Do you like gritty stuff?
Like, but not...
See, like a prime example of gritty but good gritty
is obviously The Dark Knight.
But that's the only one that kind of did it.
It's quite a...
It's a fine balance because if you...
If Ledger's performance had gone any...
Like a step weirder,
it would have just been ridiculous.
Yeah, it would have been the new Joker.
It would have been Dark Knight Rises.
I recently re-watched those movies, like all of them in a row.
I was like, I'm having fun with these.
Bane sounds exactly like Kenneth Williams,
who was one of the actors who was in all the British carry-on films.
Weird choice that, isn't it isn't it it is weird do you think that we saw like heath ledger and he's like well i better do a thing yeah they also went back
and ad art over all these lines apparently it led you no obviously not idiot mason sorry no i'm bane
oh i couldn't understand him they released some the opening sequence in imax or whatever and
people like what is this?
Right, right.
So it's weird how clear his voice is.
Clear and ridiculous.
Clear and ridiculous, yeah.
Look, we've got some...
Ali from went to London Comic Con,
London Film Comic Con 2015.
If you look up in that video on YouTube,
if you type in the exact words,
London Film and Comic Con 2015,
he's done a sweet Weekly Planet video.
I saw that, saw that with a whole
lot of grab that gems he got david prowse yeah he's patron saint of the show yeah it's calum
mulvey when calum mulvey isn't around yeah it's it's david prowse but he also got ray park so i
won't play the whole video but i'll just play this part of Ray Park nope stop I went too far you went too far like usual
oh it's Ray Park you saying this yeah so why am I showing you I don't know gone
mad it's gone you've gone mad with your incredible YouTube abilities I should be
better at this don't you think no god damn it's not working. I don't know what's going on.
But look, you got Ray Park and who played Darth Maul.
Yes.
And who was the other one I said?
David Prowse.
David Prowse to say grab dat gem, which means we have two Sith Lords saying grab dat gem.
Yeah.
Which means we only need Christopher Lee, who's dead.
Oh, boy.
And Ed McDermott, who's not dead.
Great.
And do we need also the voice of of Darth Vader what's his name James Earl Jones yeah get James Earl Jones what do we already get Darth
Vader oh that's a good question no we should get you let's just get James Earl Jones as a backup
sure yeah isn't that incredibly exciting I was really excited to see that so yes you know what
Ray Park is amazing and I don't understand why he's not in more things.
There was a period of time where you're like,
well, Ray Park's going to be in everything.
And he's kind of not as much.
I want to bring him back.
If they do the Obi-Wan film, they'll obviously bring him back.
Yeah, totally.
Yeah.
But he's great.
He's a good stuntman.
Yeah.
He's probably just retired off his G.I. Joe residuals.
Oh, that's right.
He's Snake Eyes.
I thought he was Snake Eyes.
All right. That's the show for
this week did you get any emails about raps in movies oh yes i did uh boy so we threw out the
call last week is there an example of a movie where a person appears in that movie and then
they rap the theme song to that movie so they have to appear as themselves or not even in that movie
and then also do the
theme song.
So it was Vanilla Ice in Ninja Turtles 2.
Two, right.
Was there a previous example of that?
Boy, we're going to have to, you're going to give me a minute.
Oh, here we go.
A lot of people have said Bobby Brown on our own from Ghostbusters 2.
Sure.
Was he in that movie though?
Apparently he's like behind the mayor or something.
I guess that counts then.
All right.
That's the earliest one, as far as I can tell.
Okay.
So thank you for the GeoTenant.
Sent that in.
And some other people who also sent that in.
Yes.
But especially that guy, because you're the first one we saw.
That's right.
But probably the last to send it in.
All right.
Where can people find us, Mason?
Oh, they can find us at Weekly Planet Pod on Twitter and Gmail and Facebook.
Correct.
If you want to send in a theme for next week, we're doing Mission Impossible again.
So maybe a Mission Impossible-styling theme tune.
That would be great.
Yeah.
And I'm at WikipediaBrown on Twitter.
I'm at MrSundayMovies.
If you want to send us a couple of bucks a month to support the show, you can go to patreon.com
slash MrSundayMovies.
That would be great.
I would love that.
And if you want to follow at The Weekly Planet, they do some real good work.
Yeah.
They do, actually.
Hang on.
What's this? Oh, yeah. The Killing Joke is becoming a movie. What? Did you hear work. Yeah. They do, actually. Hang on, what's this?
Oh, yeah, The Killing Joke is becoming a movie.
What?
Did you hear about that?
No.
An animated movie.
So Mark Hamill wants in, so that'd be great.
Yeah, that would be good, actually, yeah.
I meant to bring that up earlier.
That's great.
Yeah.
So next week...
Weeklyplanetpod.bandcamp.com.
Yeah.
That's another thing we do.
Get out there.
We'll do a commentary at some point.
Oh, yeah.
All right, guys.
Have spaghetti.
Grab that jam, everybody.
Bye.
Bye.