The Weekly Planet - 98 Best & Worst Video Game Movies
Episode Date: August 24, 2015In honour of Hitman: Agent 47 being terrible we go through every video game movie ever!Plus some sad news for Batman fans, Michael Shannon on Batman V Superman, Victor Frankenstien, Suicide Squad, Zor...ro, He-man, Wolverine and whatever else we said. Thanks for listening! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Red hot comic book movie news, shooting up your butthole.
The Weekly Planet,
official podcast of comicbookmovie.com where we talk movies and TV shows and sometimes video game movies
that we don't want to talk about.
Let's do it this week.
Let's get it out of the way.
Let's get it out of the way.
My name is James, also known as Mr. Sunday.
With me is always my co-host. Mr. Mr. Sunday. Mr. Mr. Sunday. That's what I'm going to do this week. Let's get it out of the way. Let's get it out of the way. My name is James, also known as Mr. Sunday. With me is always my co-host.
Mr. Mr. Sunday.
Mr. Mr. Sunday.
That's what I'm going to do this week.
Pick up on slight mispronunciations of words and just rail you for them.
With me is always my co-host, Nick Mason.
It's me.
Cardigan off.
Blanket on.
Let's do this.
So we're here in your man cave.
Regular room.
And you're turning into a total bro dude with a man cave.
I'm apparently turning into Howard.
I've got a big neon sign.
Yeah.
Party down, it says.
And I'm apparently turning into Howard Hughes because I'm just wearing a blanket everywhere and no shoes.
And you discover the hidden door in here.
Yeah.
It's not a hidden door.
There's a door that you look directly at.
Every week.
Which leads into a bathroom that you have not noticed.
Yeah.
It's amazing.
Yeah.
Well, I'm distracted by the bloody, the big pool table with your face on it and my gym beam yeah bar
mats yeah exactly all right straight into it yes like sad news yeah great you do your sad news i've
more sad news after that is it personal sad news no you have some kind of infection yeah but that's
that's i have a different podcast. Oh, okay, right.
It's my podcast, Does This Look Infected with Nick Mason.
Look it up on iTunes.
Yvonne Craig, Batgirl from the original 1966.
She passed away.
She passed away.
78 years old.
Not a great run.
78, I feel like, is not very old.
Well, now.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Like 100 years ago, you're the oldest person in the world
I guess that's true yeah
now it's kind of like
yeah but you know
it's
we should probably
expose to something
on a Batman set
sure yeah
bat asbestos
there were a lot of
bat bestos
yeah breast cancer
so that really
sucks
yeah
she had a good run
I guess in terms of
you just said she didn't
have a good run
no in terms of
being remembered
and like you know
She
I think was that the first
Live action Batgirl
Yes it was
Yeah
So I mean in that sense
I mean
What an iconic role to take on
Yeah absolutely
Who's the better Batgirl
Her or Michelle Pfeiffer
That's a really good question
We'll never know will we
No
No
Yeah
It's a shame
Has there been another
Has there been another
Live action Batgirl
Has there No there live action Batgirl?
No, there's been Alicia Silverstone.
Oh, shit.
I completely forgot.
Very good.
She's clearly the best Batgirl there. Yeah, absolutely.
What about Birds of Prey?
Is there a Batgirl in Birds of Prey?
Well, there's Oracle.
Yeah.
Dina Meyer was Oracle, but you see her very briefly in flashbacks as Batgirl.
Okay.
And then nothing.
Yeah, all right.
Well.
She's not the best.
I mean, she's fine, but it's not.
That's not a good show.
No, it's certainly not.
Yeah.
Everyone's got vague telepathy.
Is that right?
Everybody, no.
Several of the characters had exactly, like, had, like, these weird evolving, you know, mental abilities.
Yeah. had these weird evolving mental abilities. One of them especially
who was sort of the Black Canary character
had whatever ability she needed
to get out of any given situation
that the writers had painted themselves into.
So she had telepathy
up until a point where she's trapped in a room
and a key's over on the other side
to open the lock or whatever
and then all of a sudden she has telekinesis.
It was like one of those shows. In great batman tradition yeah absolutely yeah that's ridiculous
additional sad news um leonard b does this look infected yeah sorry leonard b robinson who uh
commonly called the route 29 batman uh he died as well um so he was he was basically he was a uh he used he he was a businessman
in the past he retired and then he used sort of the money he earned he bought himself a
like a lamborghini a batman a batmobile styled lamborghini and he bought the costume and he
went around to sick kids and he you know he entertained him and he yeah that sort of stuff
bloody legend yeah visited visited sick children and stuff like that.
And his car actually broke down by the side of the road.
And when he got out, he was hit by a car and he died.
That's fucked up.
I know, right?
And Donald Trump lives.
Oh, no.
This week, did you hear how he called himself Batman?
Oh, that's the worst.
Oh, he's not Batman. No.
Everything about him is wrong.
He's not even Lex Luthor. No, he's not he's not bad no everything about him is wrong even lex luther no he's not
yeah um but uh people will know leonard b robertson best probably there was a video that went viral
where uh police pulled up there's it's police dash cam footage of uh them pulling uh over to
the side of the road this black lamborghini yeah didn't have a license plate. It just had Batman logos on it.
And they pull him aside and he opens the door up and Batman gets out.
And they have a chat with Batman who points out that all his license information
is inside the car and he hands it over.
And they let him go on his way.
Damn right.
That's a shame.
I hope the Bat Kid doesn't die.
There's too much happening.
I know, right? Too much sad news in the world Kid doesn't die. Yeah. Like, there's too much happening. I know, right?
Too much sad news in the world of Batman.
Yeah.
Okay, moving on to...
But there's still hope in the world because this isn't infected.
That's right.
Just so we're clear.
Great.
Yet.
In more sad news, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is getting a spin-off.
Oh, here we go.
Nah, but good on it.
It's going to be called Marvel's Most Wanted,
and it follows Bobby and Lance, who you remember is mocking Bird
and British Jake Chisel.
British Jake Chisel.
So what is it?
Adrian Palicki and Nick Blood.
So they'll have their own adventures.
Why is Nick Blood?
He should have just used his own name.
Agreed.
Like Jake Chisel used his own name.
Correct.
Yeah.
What do you think about that?
And it's called Marvel's Most Wanted.
Yes.
On the run?
Secret Avengers?
Are they on the run?
Yeah, that's a good question.
I don't know.
I'm sure there was a synopsis.
I didn't read.
Look.
It could be great.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
I feel like there's a chance that, you know, if you could separate yourself from Agents
of S.H.I.E.L.D. and you could do something completely different you know that's i don't hate agents of shield i just
i don't watch it anymore i've had enough i don't want to i don't care about your bloody your secret
underground temples and whatever i don't i don't care you don't care about people walking through
underground things finding finding things that blow maybe yeah find an artifact yeah so this
could be like you know its own thing like, you know, its own thing.
Well, it will be its own thing, and hopefully it's good or whatever.
Walking Dead spinoff starts tomorrow.
Follow the pair and their adventures together.
That's all we've got.
Wow, there you go.
All right, fine.
Did they go on the run at the end of the last one?
Couldn't tell you, mate.
Okay, great.
We'll find out.
See, I got very, I was, when you said that, I'm like I'm like Oh maybe it's Maybe it'll focus on some villains
Yeah
Get some costumed villains
Yeah
Going from town to town
Yeah
Robin or whatever
Yeah
Not Robin
Robin
There'll be robbing places
Robbing Robins
Yes
Yeah
Yeah no sorry
Fine
God whatever
Maybe this could be like
Supernatural with
A British guy and a girl
In what sense?
Like they're going after The most wanted Marvel kind of criminals.
Like B-list superheroes.
Okay, sure.
I would like that.
Yeah, me too.
That thing that I just thought of.
Yeah.
Well, they're definitely going to use that idea you've just thought of.
So, great.
Okay, moving on.
Michael Shannon said some weird shit about...
He's in Batman v Superman.
Right.
You know how we saw him in the trailer?
I thought that was just like they'd CGI'd his face in or... Okay, yeah. Or it was like a dummy or you know how we saw him in the trailer i thought that was just
like a they'd cgi'd his face in or okay yeah it was like a dummy or whatever but they got him in
the body got him in the body bag because he's actually playing he's he's general zod in he's
general sorry man of steel and will appear in some capacity in batman v superman right we'll get to
this is the quote he had about his costume i'm ready the bride's up on my balls he said no sorry what am i doing i don't understand why they've just given me a t-shirt with doomsday on
it i don't i don't even know i was in my costume and i couldn't use my fingers because in the sequel
i have flippers instead of hands so i had these wax flippers on my fingers and i couldn't open
the door and i could hear zach snyder the director being like where's shannon where the fuck is he and the whole crew was standing around and I was like knocking on
the door with my flippers let me out of here by the way he was in a port-a-loo okay great sure
like he actually was I'm not it's not a joke he was in a port-a-loo so he's got some kind of
prosthesis how did he get into the port-a-loo in the first very good question that was my question
yeah yeah did he have like an intern i didn't use his mouth
i would say there was an intern and uh then the intern was called away intern let him in yeah or
maybe it was like uh i don't know michael shannon yeah well michael shannon's maybe there's wacky
pranks on set happening there could be just like the suicide squad which we'll get to okay great
but um i can imagine michael shannon being locked in a port-a-loo
with like prosthetics on his hand and just being like,
what am I doing?
I was in the road.
I was in Boardwalk Empire.
That's it, exactly.
But that's Doomsday, right?
I mean, it doesn't have to be Doomsday, but it feels like,
I don't think it was literal flippers.
No.
Doomsday's got like big kind of claw hands.
Yeah, that's probably it.
I'd say that's what it was.
So how very exciting. Or some sort of dolphin man. Yes of claw hands. Yeah, that's probably it. I'd say that's what it was. So how very exciting.
Or some sort of dolphin man.
Yes.
Tusk.
You could be Tusk.
Did you see that?
No, I didn't.
Was it any good?
I watched the end.
Okay, great.
Sorry.
I guess.
Was it as an appropriate ending as you would like for a movie that you hadn't seen the
start of?
Correct, yes.
Right.
You know, it's about a guy who does a podcast.
Oh, yeah.
And he travels around and goes and visits weird people.
Like, that's the story.
That's the premise.
And when you say he visits people,
do you mean he visits freaks of nature or something?
No, yeah, kind of, yeah.
That's great for an audio medium.
Sure is.
Look at this guy.
Well, see you next week.
It's no Nick Mason
does this look infected
thank you
but um
yeah
because it's
it's based on
I'm probably talking about this
but it's based on a
real wanted ad
in the UK
because Kevin Smith
and Scott Mosher
talked about it on Smodcast
oh
he put up an ad
for a guy to
to live with him
and dress as a walrus
for a few hours a day
and like
and they would be friends
or whatever.
Oh, sure.
I think I remember that.
It spun out of that.
Like Safety Not Guaranteed.
Is that how that started?
Yeah.
Safety Not Guaranteed is based on a want ad in a newspaper.
It turned out to be fake in the end, but, you know.
Who cares?
Who cares?
Exactly.
Which was like, need someone for time travel and whatever.
That's a good movie.
Yeah, it is.
He's doing the new Star Wars.
I know. We talked about that. Yeah, it is. He's doing the new Star Wars. I know.
We talked about that.
Yeah, we talked about that.
Okay, so David Ayer and Joel Kinnaman,
the director and one of the stars of...
Robocop.
The director and Robocop of this movie.
Yes, of Suicide Squad.
Both of them got squad tattoos on their forearms.
S-K-A...
S-K-W-A-D.
Oh, boy.
From Will Smith and Margot Robbie.
That's not even how you spell squad.
Well, yeah.
You're right.
Yeah.
In a way.
Do we have their email addresses?
We've got to get to them on this.
So, that's-
Wait, they got them from Margot Robbie and Will Smith?
Yeah, there's like pictures of it.
I could show you, but this is an audio media.
Margot Robbie and Will Smith used tattoo guns.
It would seem.
I mean, it might be all fake and whatever, but it seems that way.
Wow.
God, you'd want to think it was good, wouldn't you?
The movie.
Yeah.
There's a lot of faith in that.
Because it's hard to tell.
We'll get to this in a second.
Yeah.
When we get to the topic of the thing.
Yeah.
But I've strongly...
Like, if you are in a movie...
Yeah.
And, like, these days especially, you're in a movie, there's a lot of green screen. You've got flippers on your hands. You're locked in a port-a-loo. You're're in a movie there's a lot of green screen you got
flippers on your hands you're locked in a portal you're there and you've got assorted other a or b
list stars with you yeah and you're like i don't know if this is good or not because there's some
stars here yep so they wouldn't sign on miles teller is here. Exactly. I went out of science fair for some reason,
even though I'm clearly an adult.
That's fantastic, Paul.
But you'd be like, well, maybe it will,
maybe they'll fix it in editing
and the special effects will be really good.
Like it's impossible to say.
It is, yeah.
You're absolutely right.
I mean, I think a lot of it depends on the production crew
and the director.
So if you're like, if you're with Spielberg,
you're like, well, this isn't going to be like a 6% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Do you know what I mean?
Yep.
But yeah, generally, yeah, you don't really know how it's going to go.
Everybody thought the first Star Wars was going to be terrible.
And then everybody thought the new Star Wars,
the prequels were going to be good.
Life is a roller coaster, isn't it?
It is.
Yeah.
But do you remember, though, in the original Lord of the Rings,
the Fellowship of the Ring, the nine of them all got little tattoos yeah that said squad
ring squad i think the only one that didn't was is it john rise davies maybe the other guy's
gimley he's in the anna jones i get him we'll get to him later actually will we yeah i don't
think of which one well talk about that yeah um Yeah, they all got Lord of the Rings tattoos,
but I don't think anybody did for The Hobbit.
Nobody got The Hobbit tattoos.
No, that's for the best.
So they knew.
They knew what was happening.
It seems that way.
Yeah.
Anyway, did you watch the Victor Frankenstein trailer?
I did watch the Victor Frankenstein trailer.
That I texted you specifically to watch?
Minutes ago, yes.
What did you think?
It's a bit wacky, isn't it?
It is.
Well, it's Max Landis.
Right, okay.
Who wrote The Chronicle
which we talked about
have we ever had
I mean I was going to say
have we ever had
a light hearted
young Frankenstein
of course
Mel Brooks
Mary Shelley's Frankenstein
yes
so wacky
have you seen that
yeah it's really fucked up
okay
well I saw it when I was a kid
so I was like
this is
but it seems with this
Victor Frankenstein
they've taken out
most of the horror and it's just kind of...
It's a weird science situation more than anything else.
It's a couple of dudes, and they wanted to make you form a life,
and then they bloody, you know...
It's like Plunkett and McLean, which I haven't seen.
I was just thinking about that movie the other day.
And?
I don't think it was good.
I can't remember it being good.
Plunkett and McLean is one of those, like, the trailer made it look like kind of hip and now.
Yeah.
And kind of like a Guy Ritchie film.
But in watching it, it was not that.
Okay, yeah.
It was just a kind of a period piece.
Good cast.
It just happened to have Johnny Lee Miller in it.
Johnny Lee Miller was in it?
I don't know.
I should watch that.
I shouldn't.
What am I saying?
Yeah, don't.
It looks better than I, Frankenstein. Yeah, and it looks was in it? I don't know. I should watch that. I shouldn't. What am I saying? Yeah, don't. It looks better than
I, Frankenstein.
Yeah, and it looks better
than...
Which I haven't seen.
It looks better than
Dracula reboot,
Dracula Untold.
Oh, yeah.
I didn't hate that.
Are we still...
Are they still doing the...
We're going to build
an Avengers of
famous monsters?
Yeah, I haven't heard
much about that lately.
I hope so.
Yeah, me too.
I just want to see
where it goes.
Like, the last one was no good, but... Yeah. I'd see another one in a heartbeat. Yeah, me too. I just want to see where it goes. Like, the last one was no good, but I'd see another one.
Absolutely.
In a heartbeat.
Yeah, just to be like, is it modern day now?
Charles Dance?
The game is on, if you recall.
The game was on, yeah.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Do you remember maybe a year ago, maybe longer?
We've been doing this nearly two years, right?
Yeah.
God, Jesus.
What?
It's been fun times. It has. Yeah. God, Jesus. What? It's been fun times.
Yes, it has.
Yeah.
Remember that time when...
No, I can't think of anything.
No, there's literally nothing.
The other day, we needed a new memory card.
Yes.
And we got new...
We were like, let's go to the supermarket and we'll get one.
And he's like, you're like, here's my car.
And I'm like, that's not your car.
Explain that.
What happened there?
Okay.
I came out to go to work.
Yes.
And I went to start my car and it didn't work.
And I'm like, I've left the door open.
Yeah.
And the battery's drained.
My battery's bloody drained.
So I get to work anyway, regardless.
I make it there.
And I get home at night and I call the RACB, which is like the roadside assistance people.
I don't know what they're called overseas.
Something similar.
AAA. Yeah, sure. That'll do. And he pops up pops the bonnet he's like do you want a new battery and i'm like
no just charge the old one he's like you don't have a battery in your car
so somebody had got into my car opened the bonnet stolen the battery pulled out a few fuses
taken the rear vision mirror and snapped the back windscreen wiper off
for no reason
for no reason right
anyway that memory of you telling me that story
off air
was one of my favourite podcast moments
and if we hadn't had that
if we hadn't gone out to buy a memory card
I never would have heard that story
that's what I'm saying
yeah
we've had some wild times man
yeah
anyway
what I was saying-
Also, the time we killed that guy, we had to bury the body.
Oh, yeah.
Good point.
Post-apocalyptic Zorro was happening.
What?
We spoke about this a couple of years ago.
Yeah.
There was like a fan-made kind of-
No, it wasn't fan-made.
It was like a, maybe this could be a Thing trailer or whatever.
Oh, yeah.
So, it follows Zorro in the future.
I'm assuming it's some kind of chappy-esque future.
Sure.
Where there's robots and whatever and oppression.
And somebody takes up the Zorro mantle to fight for freedom and justice and whatever.
I think it feels more like a Total Recall reboot oppression.
I think this could be good.
I'm not saying it will be good.
Right.
Maybe I like Zorro.
I like Zorro a lot.
Do you think it's going to be good in the vein of Phantom 2040?
The Phantom animated series set in the future correct great awesome buddy don diego delavega yeah i didn't love the zoro movies yeah oh the first one was okay but there was a night
there was an early 90s zoro tv show that i think screened here in probably like 2001
which i really enjoyed which I know wasn't good.
But no, I got a lot of fondness for Zorro.
But I feel like he's like a symbol and icon the same way Batman is.
And a lot of Batman is based off Zorro.
And I feel like-
Not that much.
He wears black.
He's got a mask.
He's directly influenced.
Yeah.
And not only that, in a lot of incarnations of Batman,
when he comes out of the theater, he's watching Zorro.
Not always.
Sometimes it's opera or whatever.
It doesn't matter.
But I feel like having that Zorro be a legend and be like,
oh, man, if we had a Zorro or whatever.
And then a guy turns up and he's like, I'll be bloody Zorro.
I think that'd be cool.
I'm not saying it will be good, but I'm saying it could be.
You should watch the trailer, the future trailer
that they made a few years ago.
All right.
Yeah.
I'm going to note it down. Laser swords. Really? Laser hats. Really laser swords? trailer, the future trailer that they made a few years ago. All right. Yeah. I'm going to note it down.
Laser swords.
Really?
Laser hats.
Really laser swords?
Okay, good.
Right.
Okay.
What kind of swords, though?
Just regular swords.
Huh.
Maybe a-
Like a katana?
Like a katana.
No, you need like a nice kind of fencing sword.
Where's he going to get one of those in the future, though?
Did he make it?
I don't know.
Maybe he stumbles into Zorro's lair.
I don't know.
Zorro's lair. Zorro's got a lair?'s got a lair didn't you see the mask of zoro where anthony banderez anthony
had to do push-ups over candles right don't you remember you're thinking of anthony hopkins
i am thinking of anthony hopkins you combine the two you combine the past and present but also past
zoro's into two zoro if you want to see something funny, watch like a 70-year-old Anthony Hopkins in a Zorro outfit with like dyed brown hair, which is how that movie starts.
Do you remember?
Yeah, I remember.
Great stuff.
It's probably not a good movie, is it?
So I guess in that sense, we've got precedent like in the movie world.
Zorroverse.
Yeah, the Zorroverse of it's a mantle that's passed down.
Yeah.
Did they ever get that in like the original whatever Zorro was originally?
I think Zorro was, I think, 19.
A pulp novel slash radio play, one assumes.
Now you're the Zorro.
It was the crow of its day.
Oh.
1919, I think it started, which would make him one of the first superheroes,
if not the first.
Then maybe someone earlier.
Hmm.
But you have no interest in Zorro, do you?
No, I'm for Zorro.
Don't you want to see him slash a Z into somebody?
Someone's face?
Oh, yeah, I guess I do.
Yeah.
There you go.
Yeah.
All right.
Victor Creed, played by Liv Schreiber.
Yes.
Who's Sabretooth, maybe appearing in Wolverine 3.
Liv Schreiber again?
Yeah, potentially.
Okay.
I'm okay with that.
Yeah, me too.
I mean, I don't love that movie that he was in.
Yeah, you do.
X-Men Origins, Wolverine Origins.
Yeah, yeah.
I do not.
Okay, fine.
It's probably the worst X-Men.
No, it definitely is.
Absolutely.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah, and also Berserker Raids.
Hugh Jackman did a Q&A and like, what do you want to see?
And people were like, those are two of the things that were named.
Sure.
So cool.
You cool with that?
Yes.
Yeah.
That's it for that one.
Save it too.
Somebody going to a Berserker Rage.
A costume.
A costume.
Yeah.
Good.
Three things.
If they're doing Old Man Logan though, they won't do a costume unless they have flashbacks.
Yeah.
Well, then they could do it.
You could even make a comic book accurate costume to some degree because then you'd be like look at the wacky
stuff that happened in the 90s or whatever exactly or whatever yeah the x-men movies are set who
knows who knows last better news christopher yost who wrote thor 3 he's writing thor 3 which is
thor ragnarok and he also wrote the dark world he will write the he-man reboot oh do you have
any interest in the He-Man movie?
Yes.
If you had to choose between He-Man and Zorro, what would you choose?
He-Man.
It's outrageous.
It's not outrageous.
It's fairly outrageous.
It's a little bit outrageous, but...
Yeah.
Imagine a new live-action He-Man movie.
Oh, no.
Remember the old one?
Yeah, I do.
Holy moly, that movie.
That movie made a lot of mistakes.
Yeah. The biggest mistake being it took them out of Eternia.
Right, okay.
And put them in...
But Eternia was just a weird desert world.
It was, but Eternia in the cartoon was a weird desert with vines.
With vines, yeah, and like six people.
Two castles and six people.
Yeah.
And impractical vehicles.
And everybody watching everybody else on a monitor.
Oh, constantly.
Yeah, there was constant 1984 style surveillance.
Where were the cameras?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Yeah.
But man, I will.
There's a Navy.
Yeah, well, yeah.
There was that Navy.
We've discussed this.
We're talking about that.
There was a Navy, yes.
But yeah, I think, yeah, if you just make it like Thor, just make, you know, build a world.
Because I really love the dark world in the sense of that it was yeah the
a very masters of the universe
yeah
weird alien
yeah
technology that was really
magic and magic
yeah
technology
I don't love that movie
but I think one of the best parts
of that movie
aside from Chris Hemsworth's
was um
no turdier
bloody
what's it called
Stalin Skarsgård
no the world
what's it called
Asgard
Asgard
there we go
I'm sick and I'm hungover.
You are sick and hungover.
Yeah, man.
We didn't do a hungover check.
We should have done that earlier.
Well, we don't do that much anymore.
No.
I've been keeping my brain...
You're being a responsible adult on some level.
On some level.
No, I'm absolutely on board with that.
Great.
Because it's going to be the dark world, but weirder.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Who plays He-Man?
Out of us.
Yes. I like out of usder. Exactly. Yeah. Who plays He-Man? Out of us. Yes.
I like out of us too.
Yes.
I think we'd have to do it like a pantomime horse.
Okay.
Sure.
Like both of us combined together would add up to one He-Man.
Great.
Yeah.
We could probably get a few listeners to be Battle Cat.
Yeah.
Pantomime Battle Cat.
Sure.
Man, I'd love to see live action Battle Cat.
That's what I'm saying.
There's some amazing He-Man like
concept fan art
of what a lot
and it looks
like you could do
some crazy stuff with that
it's a shit show though
yeah
though the reboot
they reboot
they did a cartoon
I remember that
I watched the first episode
it's not bad
I know
I didn't see a lot of it
but it's way better
yeah
yeah
what else was I gonna say
I had a friend
no he wasn't a friend
I had a kid who lived
so you've never had a friend never had a friend. No, he wasn't a friend. I had a kid who lived-
So you've never had a friend?
Never had a friend.
Oh, this is sad.
He lived in my street when I was a kid.
And he was one of those kids that just constantly lies.
Do you know what I mean?
Oh, sure, yeah.
He's obviously lying, but you can't-
And you catch them out and they won't break.
And he told everybody that He he man lived with him like actual
he man the cartoon character sure yeah not the live action version right lived with him okay
and during the day he we never saw him because he man would go to work and it comes to be he man
sure okay i always imagine like a suit and tie and a briefcase yeah absolutely yeah so and So, and at first, when he first said it, I'm like, everybody calm down.
I think he means like a cardboard cutout of He-Man.
Right, okay.
And he's like, no, I mean the actual He-Man.
Wow.
Yeah, he's dead.
No, I don't know where he's...
I can't remember his name.
Was that his biggest lie, do you think?
Look, he said a lot of shit, but that's probably...
I mean, how do you get bigger than...
That's the best lie, certainly.
It's the one I remember.
All right.
Was it a human version of He-Man?
No, it was the animated version.
And who bought this?
Nobody.
Among your circle of friends.
Nobody.
I can't see.
So this kid thought that in our world,
a world that is completely devoid of animated people of any kind,
that his peers would believe.
Great.
There was a real, yeah.
Maybe he'd just seen Roger Rabbit.
I don't know.
Okay.
All right.
This week, Mason, we were going to talk about the new Hitman movie.
We did.
But then you reviewed, you saw it.
Yeah. You reviewed it.
And at the end you said, hey, I've got a podcast as you normally do.
You play this podcast.
And you said, and we talk about this stuff.
And we were going to talk about this, Hitman, but maybe we won't.
And I'm like, yes, off the hook.
Not in the sense of like cool, like something's off the hook.
Like I'm doing a 180 Ollie burial on my Instagram or whatever.
But that I'm off the hook having
to watch this film.
Absolutely.
And people have said, hey, stop reviewing terrible movies that we probably don't want
to see.
Let's give everybody a break.
Now's as good a week as any.
Yes.
Let's bloody, yeah, let's do video games.
Let's talk about movies based on video games.
Quick summary, how good was Hitman Agent 47?
Look, it's got like a 6 or or 7% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Okay, so that's...
It's not that bad though.
Right.
Like it's no worse than Taken 3,
which is probably like 20% or whatever.
It's like that.
Would you say it's like Taken 3?
Is it worse insofar as they have to take some of the tropes of a video game
and put them into a movie?
Yeah, but that's probably the best part of it.
Okay, sure.
It's kind of well done.
Though there's a scene where he's escaping a facility.
Yep, a government facility?
Yeah, a government facility.
And he puts on a uniform, like a general.
And as he's walking out, an army guy goes,
Oh, general, or sergeants, excuse me.
And then the next scene it cuts and he's still walking out,
but he's wearing that guy's clothes.
Okay, right.
And I don't understand, why did you change twice?
Just walk out or just kill him and keep walking?
Like, what are you doing?
I guess it just shows that he can change really quickly.
Boy, can he.
Yeah, so do you like the games?
I really liked the first few, I was not a huge fan of the the i think we've talked
about hitman before but the the the last the most recent game hitman absolution is very good yeah
it is the first we've talked about the there's a lot of video games that are like you can play
this game any way you want you can be stealth game you can play it as an action game you can
play it as a game where you talk to, charm everybody with your charming skills and do whatever.
But invariably, there are always huge sections in one of those games
where you cannot play it any way you want.
There's a game...
You've got on your way out.
Yeah, Square Enix, Hitman Absolution was produced by Square Enix.
The previous game they made was Deus Ex Human Revolution,
which they made the same claim.
And it was a pretty good game.
It was like, you can make it a
stealth game you can make it an action game augmented reality yeah exactly and but there
were inevitably you get to a boss battle yeah and you had to fight your way out so if you got to
that boss battle and you're like oh i spent all my upgrade points on being a charming negotiator
i wish i'd bought a rocket launcher you know it's that kind of thing so
you'd hit this wall but with hitman absolution you could just you could play it stealthy entire
way and it wouldn't make any difference you could play it as a like a running gun battle game you
could switch it up yeah it's great yeah yeah could you steal costumes yeah oh yeah good yeah
yeah i should play that one uh3 or Xbox both of those previous gen
sweet awesome
okay so let's talk about these
how do you want to do this
I thought we could go franchises
okay cool
like in order of kind of
I've listed them here so
okay great
can we as we talk about
these games
these movies
games the movies
who knows
could we also talk
if we're talking plot
we're talking whether
they're any good or not
could we also talk
how they attempted to shoehorn in whatever video game premise?
Absolutely.
To, like, please the fans?
Yes.
Oh, they need a bloody whatever.
Absolutely.
Definitely.
The first one would be good for that, actually.
So, the first video game movie.
Yes.
I believe, according to Wikipedia.
Yes.
Was Super Mario from 1993.
Kicked it all off.
Yeah.
Boy, did it.
Set the bar, really.
Yeah, boy, didn't it, though.
Yeah.
I had a lot of Super Mario cards, like, from that movie.
Oh, like your trading cards?
I think I probably have them all.
I had them all.
Did they come with bubble gum?
Probably, yeah.
Yeah, nice.
Not good, that bubble gum, was it?
No.
Just put another card in.
Give me an extra card, mate.
Did you see that in the movies?
Yes, I did.
What did you think?
1993.
Yeah. What did you think? Not good. Even at the time? card, mate. Did you see that in the movies? Yes, I did. What did you think? 1993. Yeah.
What did you think?
Not good.
Even at the time?
Oh, no.
I'm sure I liked it at the time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But it was...
It's...
Because I guess...
Because there was a Super Mario cartoon prior to this.
Yeah.
And I...
You would think that they would just crank up the animation a little bit.
Yes.
And just do an animated movie.
And then you don't have to explain anything.
No.
Because it's an animated universe.
Exactly.
You'd just be like, well, of course he's a plumber
and he goes and he fights dinosaurs.
Yeah.
But in this movie, because it's live action
and initially set in the real world,
you have to explain why he's a plumber that fights dinosaurs.
That's right, yeah.
And he doesn't seem to fight that many dinosaurs in the games.
Like, you'll fight, like, a mushroom and a turtle and whatever,
but it's not all dinosaurs, is it?
No.
There are some dinosaurs.
Yeah.
Sometimes it's giant bullets.
Sometimes.
Sometimes it's ghosts.
Spooky ghosts.
But they're afraid of you as well, so you don't bloody...
You'll be fine?
Yeah, I guess you'll be fine, yeah.
Because in this movie, there are like two parallel dimensions
where one dinosaur is involved into people
and the other one primates our world involved into people,
depending what your beliefs are.
Correct.
And Mario crosses over into the dinosaur world with his brother Luigi.
How do they cross throw?
It's not through pipes, is it?
It's like a dimensional portal or something underground.
I don't really remember.
But I think it's well cast.
Like Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo.
Sure.
A British man and a guy from bloody...
Yeah, but Bob Hoskins was in bloody Roger Rabbit.
Should have called him Bob Hopskins.
Yeah.
That's what it's hopping about.
Yeah.
He's dead.
Yeah.
That sucks.
So is Dennis Hopper.
He's too.
Super Mario Brothers curse. Watch out, John Leguizamo. What was it? Huh? dead yeah it sucks so is dennis hopper nice too mario super mario brothers curse watch out jen
john leguizamo what was it huh i was gonna say what was the girl's name in that it doesn't matter
it's not important so mario goes into this world and there's weird fungus okay yeah she was a thing
there was fungus everywhere and it's weird it. It's like a weird Blade Runner future, sort of.
It is, yeah.
They bring in his jump boots.
See, that's what we're talking about.
That's exactly what I'm talking about.
Because, again, it's a live-action version of a video game.
Yeah.
You have to explain...
A live-action version of a cartoon video game, essentially.
You have to explain how the Mario Brothers get into this situation. Yep. And they have to explain how the mario brothers get into this situation yep and
you have to and they have to go like well what a what are the what are the fans of the video game
like what do they do in this game they jump so we could have the characters jump but if we have
them jump as much as a normal man like we've seen movies where people are normal men and they jump
yeah so we want them to super jump so how can we contrive a scenario how high can bob hoskins jump they thought yeah not high
enough there's probably some uh there's probably some blue screen you know blue screen back in the
day like screen tests just like bob hoskins in in like a like a unitard with ping pong balls on it
like next to like a like a x number, like a big white line on a wall
with like distance markers on it.
And they're like, okay, Bob, Bob, here we go.
All right, jump test number one, let's do this.
And then he's just like, I ain't bloody doing this.
And then he just strolls while smoking a cigarette.
And they're like, all right, we'll do it with special effects.
So I think some of the designs in this are quite good.
Like those jump boots, they look pretty decent, don't they?
Well.
Like, you know, for the time and whatever.
For the time, sure, yeah.
Like a weird future.
Do you remember the police car in it that they steal?
Yes.
Hang on, I've got to show you a picture.
I remember that looking really good, but I'm just going to find out whether that's true yes don't embarrass us for god's sake man
that's cool like i remember seeing that as a kid and being like that's cool tell them that's pretty
it's pretty rad there you go okay so if you type in super mario bros movie police car and you'll
see that uh i think the listeners could have figured that out probably yeah right i don't
give them enough credit do i no I'm pretty bloody condescending.
What else is in that?
Remember the Goombas were giant men with little heads?
Tiny heads.
With little turtle heads.
And I think, were they devolved into that?
Because there was a de-evolution gun.
There was a de-evolution gun.
Do you remember?
Yeah.
Which may have been a Nintendo Zapper.
It was a SuperScope. It was a Super Scope.
It was a Super Scope.
Yes, it was.
Yeah.
Which is, it's a weird conceit to have in this universe because we as a human species
do not also have a de-evolution gun that we can use to turn humans into monkeys.
We don't have that.
Depending on what you believe.
Yes, that's right.
Yeah, you're right. It is. I don't, it's Depending on what you believe. Yes, that's right. Yeah, you're right.
It is.
I don't...
It's not good, is it?
Like, it's...
You know what?
It's not boring, though.
Oh, sure.
Absolutely.
Like, it's amazing to watch me like, wow, they put a lot of money into this.
Yes.
Yeah.
Like, compared to, like, the budget of, say, Mortal Kombat.
Uh-huh.
People love that movie, but that budget doesn't look like there's a lot going on there
I don't know
I disagree
really?
yeah
I guess there's a lot of CGI
that would have been expensive
we'll talk about that
in a little bit
what is interesting to note
is if you do just go to
like Wikipedia or whatever
and you look up
lists of movies
based on video games
and you look at the
Rotten Tomatoes score
overall
the highest one
is 44%
which is
which is?
Final Fantasy The Spirits Within
which isn't even really
a video game movie
no
we'll get to that
yeah we'll get to it
yeah
it's a movie
by a studio
who couldn't afford
Ben Affleck
and so they made
their own Ben Affleck
that's what happened
that's right
exactly
and it's dead on
it is dead on
Yoshi's in it
and Toad
I think Toad.
I think Toad's the king.
Yeah, okay.
Because her dad, the daisy.
There's a lot of this episode is just me going, yeah, maybe.
I might be wrong.
Because the fungus is the king.
Right, yeah, that's right. And I'm not sure if that is, maybe that's not Toad.
But Yoshi is also a little dinosaur.
But like, you can't ride him.
Like, he's like this tall. That's right, yeah. But Yoshi is also a little dinosaur, but you can't ride him. He's like this tall.
That's right, yeah.
Do you remember?
Yeah.
And Yoshi exists to be ridden.
Yes, that's right.
And only.
He's a weird part of a weird dinosaur slave race is what's happening there.
And at the end, Koopa turns into a T-Rex.
Bowser.
Bowser, sorry.
Is Koopa in this?
Maybe it's King Koopa who's in it, not King Toad.
I can't remember.
Because I remember that doesn't matter.
No, it is King Koopa, I'm sorry.
It is?
Yeah, it is.
He's not Bowser.
Do you think they should redo this?
But like, do a 3D animated?
Yes.
Because apparently they wanted Mario for Wreck-It Ralph.
But Nintendo are like, no, we want to do something with
him at some point.
What do they give them instead?
Did he get Donkey Kong?
They do.
I think they got Donkey Kong.
Well, they own all the Sega characters, so there was like Sonic in it and a whole lot
of Capcom and whatever.
So anyway-
See, that's the thing though.
I feel that now the current crop of Mario games, don't they have enough story in them
that they're like little animated shows in themselves?
I couldn't tell you.
Okay, right.
Apparently, Mario games have never faltered
in terms of quality, I feel.
Except for...
I'm trying to think.
I don't think so.
I'm sure there are bad ones.
Except for Super Mario Brothers,
does this look infected?
Yes.
Which was...
Not a great one, was it?
Not a great one, ultimately.
Yeah, but they've been pretty solid.
And a lot of them have raised the bar in terms of what they can do.
Like the first platform, the first Mario game obviously blew people away.
That's still a great game.
Yeah.
And, you know, when it went 3D, it was kind of the first game to do 3D really well with Nintendo 64.
And there's been some, you know, some Paper Mario and a lot of great ones. Yeah, exactly. And there's, you know,
there's ones that even sort of play with,
that play with a lot of the tropes of the series itself.
Like there's a one,
I can't remember which one it is where.
There's a one.
Yeah, there's a one where you turn into a giant Mario
and you can just plow through the level
like this giant monster.
Oh yeah, that's a newish DS one.
Yeah, yeah.
One of the Galaxy ones, I think.
But I don't know,
turning it into an animated series
or an animated movie, i don't know turning it into an animated series or an animated movie
i don't know because surely it would feel a lot like watching somebody play a video game
yeah which as we know is not a good experience that's not a good experience we got to get off
this though we got a lot to get through uh did you see double dragon in 94 yes i did at the movies
what's that like oh boy well look it had, I should... I would also argue that...
We won't talk about it
because it's not based on a video,
but I would argue that the movie The Wizard
is a better Mario movie
than the Super Mario Brothers movie.
The Wizard is a good commercial
for Super Mario Brothers 3.
Isn't it, though?
Boy, was it ever.
Ah, great stuff.
I did see Double Dragon.
Look, it was bad. Yeah. I think it was even bad at the time. Definitely did see Double Dragon. Look, it was bad.
Yeah.
I think it was even bad at the time.
Okay, sure.
Yeah.
Did they have their coloured costumes?
Yeah, they did.
Whose girlfriend got kidnapped?
That's the story of Double Dragon.
It is.
I remember the opening cutscene for Double Dragon is there's a girl standing there.
She's minding her own business on the street.
Yeah, and a gang member walks along and punches her in the stomach.
Right in the stomach.
Puts her over his shoulder and walks off.
Yes.
And that's how the game starts.
Correct.
That's pretty good.
Is that how the movie starts?
Not exactly.
But we do have Alyssa Milano as Marion.
Oh, really?
Okay.
Who is the love interest, yeah.
Great.
No, Double Dragon, the movie, there was a mystical medallion.
There were two halves of a mystical medallion.
Too much already.
Yeah, I know, right?
Anyway, so it gave you an assortment of vague powers.
Robert Patrick was the villain.
Yeah.
And I think-
Coming off the back of Terminator 2.
Coming off the back of Terminator 2, and they're like,
how can we make him a little different?
Goatee?
Goatee and shock of giant blonde hair like a like
a like a big pompadour blonde like a big like big like tall oh wow like a like guile not that tall
but pretty i'm gonna have to check this out yeah is it good now like would you watch it now? No, I would not. Because it would have bad CGI.
It would have pre-The Matrix martial arts,
which in American cinema, real bad.
Like, this was five years prior to...
Yeah.
You're right.
Yeah.
Do you want to get off this one then?
Yeah, okay.
What did they try to shoehorn in, in this...
Medallions.
No, see, there were no medallions.
I guess what they tried to...
Kidnapped girls? No, I think... Two dragons. try to shoehorn in in this medallions no see there were no medallions i guess what they tried to kidnapped girls uh no i think two dragons yeah kidnapped girls i guess what they tried to
shoehorn there was a character there was a character in the um double dragon games a bobo
he's like the giant he's like a giant monster man okay and they tried to like he there's a man who
gets mutated into that kind of creature. With the medallion?
Yeah.
Or some kind of devolving gun. I think it was probably the medallion.
But boy, it's not good.
Oh, great.
Yeah.
Well, speaking of not good.
Okay, I'm ready.
This movie's kind of amazing.
Andy Dick's in this one, by the way.
Is he?
Which of the double dragons is he?
He's both the double dragon.
No, he's a weatherman.
Okay.
In this movie.
Great.
Yeah.
Let's talk about the Street Fighter movies.
Okay.
Because there are two. Oh, there are two. There are two. weatherman okay this movie great yeah let's talk about the street fighter movies okay because there
are two oh there are two there's um the one from 94 street fighter the movie and there's street
fighter the legend of chun-li from like maybe 2000 which has what's her face from smallville
in smallville face yeah and chris klein chris klein is he's like an fbi yeah and he's like this
man's invisible.
He walks through raindrops or something.
That's right.
There's that very famous line.
The original one, though, that's not a good movie, but you could watch it.
Can you really?
When was the last time you watched it?
Oh, yeah.
You're right.
You could watch it.
Physically speaking, you can watch it because all the copies have not been physically destroyed.
Correct.
Whether they should have been or not.
Yeah.
Subject to some debate.
Absolutely.
But last time I saw it, I remember it being really kind of funny.
And you know what?
Raoul Julia is really good in that.
His last role.
His last role.
The famous character actor, Raoul Julia, international film star.
He was in Gandhi, I think.
He was, yeah, exactly. He was in both, I think. He was, yeah, exactly.
He was in both Addams Family movies. Correct, yeah.
Not in the third one.
No.
Wonder why.
Oh.
Were they good?
Yeah.
The movies?
I think so.
I don't believe that to be true.
All right, fine.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, it gets all the kind of costumes sort of right.
There's some street fighting.
The question, though, is should you get video game character costumes accurate i feel is the question do they translate
at all well do comic book character now when you think of street fighter who's the main character
of the street fighter video games the street no it's a good question that is that is the correct
answer there no it's probably ken or iu yeah i imagine yeah so who's the main character in this
answer there no it's probably ken or iu yeah imagine yeah so who's the main character in this van damme jean-claude van damme is guile absolutely as american hero america yeah exactly
was that a belgian jean-claude van damme as all-american hero guile whatever his last name is
um so in it so he's in the un it's not called the un it's called something else
and embison allied nations i can tell you that off the top of my head and embison has his own So he's in the UN. It's not called the UN. It's called something else.
And Bison has- Allied Nations.
I can tell you that off the top of my head.
And Bison has his own, not what's his name, planet.
His own nation.
Yes.
Where he plans on destroying the world using his own army that's got like Zangief and I
think Vega and what does it do with the scar and the bloody eye patch?
Sagat.
Yeah.
Do you like that game, by the way?
Street Fighter.
Street Fighter 2, the original.
Yeah.
Yes, very much so.
It's pretty good, isn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It still holds up.
I remember when I first saw that, I was like, that's amazing.
But then I saw Mortal Kombat and I'm like, that's more amazing because it's real.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And at the end, do you remember, nobody kind of has any powers.
Yeah, that was kind of, that is a weird, yeah, okay, go ahead.
Then at the end, it just goes off the wall.
Yeah.
Because they make Blanka.
They do, yeah.
Using like virtual reality and green paint.
I don't know.
And then.
It is very odd that nobody has any powers isn't it No no then M. Bison comes back to life
Because he has a super suit
And he can like fly
Yeah he has a super suit
Like he wears a suit of armour
And it like
Yeah Guile kills him
And then it resuscitates him with
With like a
Whatchamacallem uh defibrillator
defibrillator yeah and then it turns out that his super suit has electromagnetic abilities that
enable him to fly and shoot lightning out of his hands and he's like you did not expect to god
yeah i remember that which shooting lightning out of his hands not a power he had in the
video games although in street fight of the movie the video games. Although in Street Fighter, the movie, the video game,
he could shoot lightning out of his hands.
That's true.
Apparently, the arcade version of that is terrible.
It is.
But the home console port is quite good.
Well, then I missed out, didn't I?
Yes, you have.
Because apparently the people at the Capcom actually did the home version one.
Right.
And they fixed it.
Oh, okay.
But the arcade version was farmed out.
Yeah.
That makes a lot of sense.
Because the video game, Street Fighter, the sense because the video game the street fighter the movie the video game full motion full motion because they stole
the idea from mortal kombat they're like well what's yeah mortal kombat is edging up in popularity
here let's make it full motion video let's get some actors to do some they did they got was
john called vandam was supposed to be johnny cage initially so that's weird that he ended up
appearing in the street fighter game but anyway sorry go be Johnny Cage initially. So that's weird that he ended up appearing in the Street Fighter game.
But anyway, sorry, go on.
That's all I have.
That's it.
That's all I have there.
And bloody Kylie Minogue's in it.
Australia's own Kylie Minogue.
What has she done since then?
She was in San Andreas.
She's in San Andreas.
She's in Moulin Rouge.
She's the fairy.
She's in a horror movie.
There was like an Australian ripoff of Scream.
It was called like Stab or something. Oh, right. Okay, right. She was in a horror movie. There was like an Australian ripoff of Scream. It was called like Stab or something.
Oh, right.
Okay, right.
She was in that.
That's all we need, really.
She was in Neighbours.
She was in Neighbours.
Yeah, good on her, mate.
She was in the bloody Australian pop charts for bloody years because she's our Kylie.
You know who's also in Street Fighter?
Ming-Na Wen.
Is she?
Who is Melinda May in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Oh, she's Chun-Li.
She's Chun-Li in that.
You're right.
She is. Yeah. They got all the Oh, she's Chun-Li. She's Chun-Li in that. You're right, she is.
Yeah.
They got all the characters, didn't they?
They got bloody, what's his name?
This guy with the hand.
E. Honda.
E. Honda, yeah.
So I think he's an old...
Just imagine James doing the 100-hand punch.
So fast that it looks like that.
Yeah.
They got...
He's Hawaiian.
Isn't he Hawaiian?
In this... Yeah, he is, that. Yeah. They got... He's Hawaiian. Isn't he Hawaiian? In this...
Yeah, he is, yeah.
Yeah.
And also...
I don't know.
There's too many characters in this movie.
Yeah.
There was too many characters and they also...
They do Dalsim.
He's a scientist.
Yeah, but not a stretchy arm scientist.
Not a stretchy arm scientist.
He doesn't do anything.
Because he's an explosion at the end and I thought...
And he's bald and I'm like, oh my God.
He's got to be stretchy at the end.
But in the games, he's not stretchy because of an explosion. god he's gotta be stretchy at the end but in the games he's not stretchy
because of an explosion
he's stretchy
because of yoga
correct
he'd be aware of that
because anytime he does anything
he says yoga
that's correct
yoga's the most violent
of meditations
this movie is bad for me
because
they didn't think ahead
they weren't like
we'll put in five characters
yeah
and then
we'll establish them
yeah
and we'll give them some powers at the end or whatever and then in the sequel we'll do it they're just like we'll throw in five characters and then we'll establish them. Yeah. And we'll give them some powers at the end or whatever.
And then in the sequel, we'll do it.
It's just like we'll throw in every character.
Yeah.
We'll bring in the super Street Fighter characters.
T-Hawk is in it.
Is he?
DJ.
Okay.
Cammy.
Carly Minogue.
Cammy, yeah, yeah.
Et cetera.
I remember, you know, the least memorable part of that is...
Well, obviously, why would I remember the least memorable part of this?
Unless there's something wrong with my brain.
Character, sorry.
Ken and Ryu.
Yeah.
Nothing.
No, exactly.
I don't remember it at all.
Yeah.
And I think they're both American?
Probably.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Good on it.
I think Legend of Chun-Li is worse.
Really?
It's way more boring.
I've seen clips of it.
I've seen the Dancing Through the Raindrops clip.
I've seen a bit where Chris Klein has to leap out of the path of an explosion of some sort.
Okay, sure.
And he's like, he's really acting.
Like he's really giving it his all.
He is, isn't he?
He's really giving it the full Chris Klein.
Keep saying Kevin Klein.
I wish he was Kevin Klein.
Yeah, I like Kevin Klein.
So how is it worse?
It's boring.
It's just nothing.
And it's very serious.
Yeah, okay. That is going to kill a video game movie. So how is it worse? It's boring. It's just nothing and it's very serious. Yeah, okay.
That is going to kill a video game movie.
Absolutely it is.
Just embrace the silliness.
Yeah, and it was supposed to kick off because this was Legend of Chun-Li
and then they were going to do the other ones.
Oh, the Legend of what?
They were going to do the remaining 15 characters in there.
See, they went the opposite of the first Street Fighter.
They go, we'll do them one at a time.
Well, clearly my strategy isn't going to work either, so I'm sorry.
No, no, I think your strategy is better.
Was Chris Klein a Street Fighter character in it?
I couldn't tell you.
There's M. Bison's in it, who's played by the dude from Banner Brothers,
and he's the voice of Bruce Banner in the Hulk TV series.
I can't remember.
Okay, Christ.
He's good, though, the guy.
What's his name?
I can't remember.
But yeah, he's M. Bison, and it's boring. It's his name? I can't remember. But yeah, he's M. Bison
and it's boring.
It's not good.
I don't think there's any
like superpowers.
I think it's all grounded
and whatever.
I couldn't even tell you
what year that came out.
I think anywhere
between 2007 and 2011.
2009.
You were right in the middle,
my friend.
There you go.
Neil McDonough is his name.
That's it.
He's great.
He's also Dumb Dumb in
he's Dumb Dumb Dugan in all the various Marvel properties.
You're absolutely right.
Also, rare appearance from Taboo.
Who's that?
Taboo the Watcher from The Black Eyed Peas.
Oh, really?
I thought you meant like that Russian duo.
Oh, Tattoo.
Tattoo, sorry.
Tattoo you're thinking of.
I am.
You're right.
Also, Moon Bloodgood.
She's in this movie.
She is, yeah.
Who's in the worst Terminator movie. Yeah. Yeah. Also, Moon Bloodgood. She's in this movie. She is, yeah. Who's in the worst Terminator movie.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mortal Kombat had movies, didn't it?
Yeah.
Wait.
Hang on.
Chris Klein is Charlie Nash.
Is he a character?
Nash is the precursor to Guile.
Okay.
So they were both like military guys.
Nash is in some of the...
I think he's in...
I think he's in Street Fighter EX or Street Fighter 4 or Street Fighter 3.
He's in one of those.
Street Fighter 3 Super Edition.
For whatever reason, they're like, we won't have Guile in this one.
We'll have Nash.
Why are they so reluctant to number the Street Fighter games?
Like, to just be like...
They're still on four, aren't they?
They might be up to five.
I don't know if they...
You know what?
You're probably right.
And then you've got your bloody Tekken crossovers and your Super Deluxe versions.
You're right, you're right.
Why are they so...
I don't know.
That is a good question.
I think maybe it's fighting game aficionados' reluctance to...
Because, you know, some people are still just like,
I only play Street Fighter 2.
Purists.
We're going to do a tournament to see who is, in 2015,
who is the best Street Fighter 2 player.
Yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Absolutely.
So I guess maybe that's it.
Turbo edition or just regular Street Fighter?
Just regular Street Fighter.
Okay, look.
Super Street Fighter?
No.
Okay.
There'll be separate versions for Turbo, all right?
I'm just looking up Street Fighter 5 to see if it's a thing.
Street Fighter 4 is Street Fighter 2.
They're the same game.
Yeah.
It's not out yet, apparently.
Bloody told you.
The first article is,
Australians get shafted with this weekend's Street Fighter V beta.
Wow.
I don't care for that.
No, sir.
That's a very Australian headline, isn't it?
Bloody Australians get shafted, mate.
Mortal Kombat.
Yeah, I'm ready.
I'm not talking about the web series, which is hit and miss.
I know people love it.
Some are good, some are dumb.
You know what I didn't like about this?
And we've talked about this before.
I didn't like the fact that the initial,
you know, there was that sort of proof of concept version.
That was real.
That was so real.
That was Legend of Chun-Li real.
That was so real, man, but good.
And then in the web series, they're like,
let's add magic back in.
You know what I mean?
You didn't care for that?
No.
Did you like any of that web series? I liked the Ra one i didn't like the raiden one we've had this discussion
we've had this discussion we've literally just copied and pasted this you've copied and pasted
this from the previous episode yeah episode 33 episode we're in now episode 33 you've just
copied and pasted it i as i knew you would in the future when we did an episode
on video games that have been turned after hitman turns out to be not good there we go uh yeah but
the movies people still say that the first model combat is the best i agree you think it's better
than prince of persia oh of all time i think of the two of the two combat movies the best
combat movie look i think one definitely does not take itself
very seriously in a good way.
Yes.
Especially since we've got Christopher Lambert as Raiden.
I think he's great in that.
I don't think so.
That's the end.
That's the end, yeah.
That's great.
So good.
You know what?
The Goro is pretty good.
The Goro's solid.
Solid Goro.
That's two men stacked on each other.
Yeah, it is.
In that style.
What else is in that?
They go into the netherworld and whatever.
They made the Mortal Kombat universe.
They did, yeah.
Like, there's an international, well, an interdimensional tournament.
Yep.
It's probably also international.
Sure.
Short stretches.
And, you know, they got to go in and, what is it?
And the main character's Liu Kang.
Yep.
And he has to avenge his brother who got beaten by Shang Tsung.
Correct.
It's all there.
It's all there, mate.
Yeah.
It's great.
Yeah.
Sub-Zero and Scorpion are in it.
And whenever a character appears, it's like, Sub-Zero.
Yeah.
I don't know who's saying that, but it happens every...
True to the movie.
Correct.
True to the game, sorry.
Were you a Street Fighter or a Mortal Kombat guy
do I have to choose
why do I have to choose
you don't have to choose
good
I'm gonna pick
I was
I liked Mortal Kombat more
I'm better at Mortal Kombat
I'm not good at street fighter
my first experience
with Mortal Kombat
is I went to one of those
lock-in sessions
at a
like a video game arcade
when they were still a thing
like a man's house
you didn't know that well
correct
go on
and they had
Mortal Kombat up on
like they built their own they had Mortal Kombat up on,
like they built their own,
they had a big screen,
like a huge screen.
Yeah.
And I'm like,
this game has blood in it.
Like there's so much blood happening here.
What's going on?
And then you just slit the kid's throat next to you.
Just to see what it's like in real life.
And I'm just watching this game and this guy's like playing it
and then it gets to finish him
and he's playing Raiden.
He just zaps the opponent with electricity and the guy's head explodes it and then it gets to finish him and he's playing Raiden and he just zaps
the opponent with electricity
and the guy's head explodes
and I'm like
what is happening here?
Should I be here?
Mortal Kombat the movie
is surprisingly bloodless
when you
It is isn't it?
It's probably PG
I guess
I'd imagine so yeah
I think there's a few
neck snaps
or something
but there's no fatalities
is there fatalities
is there?
Look Sub-Zero turns somebody to ice and then smashes them, if I recall.
Yeah, that's pretty bloodless.
Yeah.
Interesting.
What do you think of the costumes?
I'm going to say they were great at the time, but who knows?
They're pretty accurate, aren't they?
Does Jax have metal arms?
No, he's not in the first one.
Oh, he's in two.
He's in two, and at some point he does have metal arms no he's not in the first one oh he's in two he's in two
and at some point
he does have metal arms
and then
he realises that
he believes in himself
and then he
doesn't need the metal arms anymore
that is not true
to the character of Jax
correct
maybe he
you know what
maybe he is in
I'm gonna go back
I think he's in a supporting role
you're probably right
yeah and then he gets the metal arms
because Kano
is Sonya Blade's nemesis.
And they have to end up fighting or whatever.
And you know what?
And there's magic.
Like Liu Kang suddenly realizes he can do magic.
Yes.
What else happens?
Johnny Cage punches Goro in the balls.
That's what I'm talking about.
We need...
But here's the thing, though.
In the video game, you can't punch Goro in the balls.
It doesn't work.
Why not?
That just doesn't work.
That's outrageous.
In the Mortal Kombat game,
Johnny Cage has...
One of his special moves is he goes down in the splits
and he punches his opponent in the balls
and it hurts him.
But it doesn't work on Goro
and it doesn't work on Sonya.
Really?
Yeah, it doesn't work.
You just cannot do it.
You don't even go into the move and they block it.
No, you do the move, but nothing happens.
Interesting.
And let me tell you-
Is Goro a woman?
No, there's a girl version of Goro.
Gorett.
Gorett.
There is two.
What's her- I can't remember her name.
Anyway, it doesn't matter.
Yeah.
Goro's a good guy now.
Is that right?
Must be.
Who knows?
He's just a lovable, he's a lovable big galoot.
Do you remember, I think, was it in two or three where there's a Goro, but he's like a tiger?
There's a, there was Mortaro in three.
He was like a centaur.
Okay.
No, no, there is definitely like a tiger kind of Goro.
Okay.
I'll take your word for it.
Yeah.
Jax is in the first, Jax is in the first one.
And yeah, in the second one,
he gets his robot arms.
Excellent.
Now, the first Mortal Kombat movie
ends with, not Shang Tsung,
who appears?
Shao Kahn.
Shao Kahn appears.
In the sky.
Yeah, he's like 100 feet tall
and he's like,
it's time to die or whatever.
I'm here to destroy your world.
And then Raiden does his
classic he goes i don't think so and then they all strike a pose they all strike a kung fu pose
and we're like yes what what were they gonna do they were gonna leap into the sky and punch his
imaginary face i guess oh so that was like a hologram he wasn't really i feel it was a hologram
yes oh man i've just read that movie completely wrong.
I know, right?
Does the second movie...
I don't think I've seen the second movie, not fully at least.
They replace Raiden, don't they?
Yes, they do.
Yeah.
Which for me was the death knell for that movie, I feel.
Absolutely.
Does it pick up...
Because Lambert is clearly not paying...
He's not taking it seriously at all.
Does two pick up directly after one, where Shang Tsung's in the sky? And then they're like, I don't think so. Yeah, it does, yeah. Does two pick up directly after one where Shang Tsung's
in the sky
and then they're like
I don't think so.
Yeah, it does, yeah.
Wow.
Yeah, exactly
because Khan shows up
immediately and it just
kills Johnny Cage
straight up
like in the opening scene.
Sweet.
Here's the thing
in, you were saying
who,
Christopher Lambert
isn't Raiden
he's replaced with
James Remus
who you might recall
is
The Warriors.
Yes, I was going to say Dexter's dad. He's insects in the Remar. Yes. Who you might recall is... The Warriors. Yes.
I was going to say...
Dexter's dad.
He's in Sex and the City.
That's what I was going to say.
He's somebody's boyfriend in Sex and the City.
Samantha's boyfriend in Sex and the City.
Correct.
That's what you know him from.
Yeah.
Not Dexter's dad.
No.
I gave up on Dexter.
Not the original Hicks from Aliens.
Oh, yeah.
It was original Hicks.
He got kicked off a drug addiction or some shit.
I don't know. We're still in the 90s, man. Jesus. Oh, yeah. It was original hits. He got kicked off a drug addiction or some shit. I don't know.
We're still in the 90s, man.
Jesus.
Mortal Kombat movies, the first one, it's pretty good, right?
Sure, yeah.
It's a pretty good...
Do you remember when Reptile turns up and he's an actual CGI lizard
that he morphs into a man?
Yeah.
Pretty good, isn't it?
And for me, look, you know, I made that bold proclamation
about the Street Fighter movies earlier, minutes ago,
where I said they should have introduced some characters
in the first one and then more in the second one.
They did this in Mortal Kombat Annihilation and it didn't work.
So we got robot ninjas.
We got Nightwolf.
We got some Cyrax.
Yeah, we got Cyrax.
We got Rain, I think.
Which Scorpion is he?
What colour is he?
Is he one of those?
Which one?
You know how there's like eight different ninjas?
Right.
Is Rain one of them?
Rain is...
Because there's smoke.
Smoke is grey.
Reptile is grey.
Noob Saibot is red.
Isn't Noob Saibot Sub-Zero?
One of the Sub-Zeros?
Maybe.
Because one of the...
Let's not get into the Mortal Kombat mythology. No, but one of the robots is the original Sub-Zero. And of the Sub-Zeros? Maybe. Because one of the... Let's not get into the Mortal Kombat mythology.
No, but one of the robots is the original Sub-Zero, and I can't remember which one.
Maybe.
Yeah, anyway, go on.
That may be completely wrong, though.
Yeah, I know.
Because there were two Sub-Zeros.
Look, it doesn't matter.
No, I want to know.
Tell me.
There were two Sub-Zeros.
Yes.
That's all I've got.
And one of them died, and the brother takes on...
Right.
But also, the Sub-Zero that Scorpion wants revenge on isn't either of the Sub-Zeros.
Yes.
It was actually somebody masquerading as him.
It was Quan Chi.
It was Quan Chi masquerading as him to kill his family. And we've talked about this before, but because Sub-Zero sort of became the default most famous character from the mortal kombat games yeah they're like well let's not make him a
a child and a family murderer let's make him a good guy so they retconned it so he wasn't a
murderer anymore sorry uh sub-zero the original sub-zero became lk520 then tundra then cyber
sub-zero all right i don't know whether it's that order but that's how that worked probably yeah oh he became Tundra
well la-di-da
I think because
they retconned
in Mortal Kombat 9
they retconned
they retconned Sub-Zero
the original Sub-Zero
became Cyber Sub-Zero
oh okay right
that's a good game man
yeah
Jesus okay
why are there 9
there are 10 now right
I think so yeah
and there's also
wait is 8
versus DC or does that not count?
I don't think it counts.
All right.
I like that game.
Also, isn't there a Mortal Kombat, the movie, the video game?
I bet there bloody is.
You're probably right.
I couldn't tell you.
I'll look for it later.
All right.
While you're looking for it later, did you see Wing Commander?
Yes, I did.
The Freddie Prinze Jr.
Isn't that garbage?
It's pretty garbage.
Isn't it like a weird Star Wars knockoff?
It is a weird Star Wars knockoff.
And the cutscenes
from the game
are really good?
Yeah,
that's exactly
what I was going to say.
The
Wing Commander 3,
I think,
had Mark Hamill
and a number
of other people
in...
Sequenced
DSV's own
Mark Hamill.
Correct.
It was like
you had a
high quality video game
and you had some
high quality... This is when full motion video in games was full swing. Yeah. Before people It was like you had a high-quality video game and you had some high-quality.
This is when full-motion video in games was full swing
before people realized it was a bad idea.
And that was quite good.
And then people were like, oh, Wing Commander movie.
And I'm like, bring back Mark Hamill.
He's great.
Why wouldn't you?
They didn't, though.
They brought back Freddie Prinze Jr.
Freddie Prinze Jr.
And the guy from Scream.
What's his name?
Matt something?
Matthew Lillard?
Yes.
Huh.
I think he's in it.
He appears in another movie we're going to talk about later.
Street Fighter.
No.
All right.
It's balls, right?
Yeah, it's balls.
That's it?
Yeah.
What are the tropes from the game that carry over?
The wing commanding?
Boy, it's been a really long time since i've seen
this one you don't know do you hang on i remember when that came out i was like i really want to see
that because it was around when they kind of re-released star wars and i just never ended up
seeing it yeah bloody matthew lillard is in it there you go yeah he's great in some things and not in other things poirot is in it as well the guy who plays poirot sure anything else now let's give it good let's
go to the tomb raider movies the two right here's the thing i don't know which this this is a very
common trope i had a conversation with somebody the other day about the tomb raider movies yeah
no one knows which of the two they've seen.
No one.
Okay.
I know I've seen two because I haven't seen one.
And I only remember- But have you?
No, I remember because I went with you.
Okay.
And we said, because we used to see like a movie every week.
Right.
Like no matter what it was.
Yes.
We don't do that now.
No, because-
Despite having a movie podcast, we don't do it.
But I remember we said, we had the conversation,
let's go see Tomb Raider, how bad could it be?
And it was the second one.
Okay.
And it was garbage.
If you say so, but I have no memory of that.
So which one have you seen, do you think?
I think I've seen the first one.
But here's my thing.
What I'm saying is these movies are so samey.
Yeah.
Who knows?
First one made a lot of money, didn't it?
It's difficult to say whether you've seen either of them
or you've just seen the trailer for one or both of them, right?
The second one is the one, The Cradle of Life,
where she goes to open Pandora's box at the end.
That's right.
And I think Gerard Butler's in it.
Okay, great.
But I don't know that for a fact.
People liked the first one at the time, I remember.
And Angelina Jolie made a lot of money and that kind of put her on the map.
Yes.
In a lot of ways.
Because I think she'd done Hackers before that.
Maybe Girl Interrupted around that time.
I don't know.
Yeah, Rimmer's in it.
What's his name?
Chris Barry.
Chris Barry, my love.
As a very uptight butler.
Yeah.
As a very uptight.
These movies were, I hated it because she's good at everything.
Yeah.
And she's just, you know, unpleasant.
These movies are unpleasant.
Do you like the Tomb Raider reboot game?
Yes, I do.
It's really good.
It's definitely the best Tomb Raider game.
And best Tomb Raider movie.
Yeah, it is.
Two guns?
They do that?
Yeah, they do.
She's got some two guns.
Yeah.
Isn't there a scene
where she paraglides into the back of a jeep out of nowhere yes or maybe that's the sequel see i
don't know no one bloody knows yeah there's a scene where she fights it's right at the start
where she fights a robot i was gonna say does she fight a robot one of them i didn't imagine that
in the first no in the first one she is in a tomb right raiding she's
raiding a tomb she's attacked by a robot and she shoots at it with her two guns or whatever she
rips out at circus she destroys this robot right and then she's actually she's not in an egyptian
tomb she's in her house she's in her mansion and that was just a practice run where he don't tell
me it's a virtual reality world no it's a real world she's built a mansion, and that was just a practice run. Don't tell me it's a virtual reality world. No, it's a real world.
She's built a robot that she habitually destroys, apparently.
Which is very rich.
Yeah, I guess so.
From all the tomb raiding.
Precisely.
Yeah.
And the robot was built by Noah Taylor.
Oh, Noah Taylor.
Noah Taylor's in this movie.
The problem with this movie is these movies.
Which one?
It doesn't matter.
The problem is that nobody else ever has anything to do.
Like I said, because she's the best at everything.
Yeah.
You would think that Noah Taylor as this, like the geeky assistant or Chris Barry as
the butler.
I think you could merge them.
Yeah, probably.
You don't need a butler.
Geeky butler.
Yeah, why not?
Yeah, exactly.
Like an Alfred.
Precisely.
But they never get anything to do.
You think, oh, these are name actors to a degree.
They'll get a cool scene for themselves.
They never do.
Okay.
Garbage.
I like Chris Barry.
I know.
And Noah Taylor.
Yeah.
Australia's own Noah Taylor.
Yeah, he's good, man.
I don't know.
Tomb Raider, whatever, I guess.
Right?
A lot of these are just us being exhausted, I feel.
Final Fantasy
we made it
yep
what do you think
the highest rated
movie
in this list
that's wrong
and it's not
it's not a video game movie
I mean in the sense
that all the Final Fantasy
movies
more or less
take place
in different universes
even
like all the remakes
of 7
and spin-offs of 7
they all take place in the same universe.
You bloody son of a bitch.
People need to get over that game.
Like, why do they keep remaking it?
Maybe because I never played it at the time.
Well, it was the first...
I think it was kind of the first one to hit the mainstream in the US.
And it had that real emotional moment at the end, didn't it?
That like blew people away.
Spoiler alert for that game.
Whoever the girl is in that,
let's say her name is Final Fantasy VII.
Aeris.
Aeris.
Gets stabbed by Sephiroth?
Correct.
Okay.
You nearly got that one correct,
so I'll give it to you.
Thanks.
Yeah.
And that was like a big kind of,
people were like,
oh my God,
video games have emotions,
despite having some excellent Mark Hamill FMV.
Yeah,
in Wing Commander 3.
Yeah.
And whatever game Bruce Willis did, where in Wing Commander 3. Thank you, yeah.
And whatever game Bruce Willis did where he's a cop.
Do you remember that one?
There's a Bruce Willis Seeger.
I think it's a Seeger Saturn game.
I do remember that game,
but I couldn't tell you what it's called or anything about it.
Yeah.
Yeah, I do remember that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
God, was he hard up for a buck all of a sudden?
I think he'd just done Hudson Hawk. Oh, right.
Well, then he's here.
Good, yeah.
Anyway, Final Fantasy. Anyway, Final Fantasy, another video game to movie translation featuring ming na wen
she's also in this also alec baldwin as ben affleck is in this alec baldwin voices ben
affleck yeah correct and both of them played bloody jack bloody submarine get on a submarine
stop the terrorists jack Jack Ryan. Yes.
Thank you.
You knew that from the start, didn't you?
Yes, I did.
Yes, I did.
People were like, this has got to revolutionize movies
because they're like, you can just CGI an actor now.
Anyone you want.
If you can't afford Ben Affleck, just make him.
Just make him.
Yeah.
Does it hold up, the graphics computer graphics that's a good
question excuse me it's i think if you go into it of expecting a sort of a surreal experience
just kind of what you get that's it but you're not going to be like like if you look at you know
the hulk in the avengers yeah he's got great hair he does. He's got, you know, he's got good textures. Yeah.
They're not as great.
Yeah.
This movie.
Okay.
Now.
Although Ming-Na Wen's character did make it into the Maxim Hot,
Hottest 100 Women of that year, I believe.
Creepy, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Something about trees?
Or ghost aliens?
Ghost aliens in nature. And we chopped down all the trees and i don't know
i don't want the place now the next one oh yeah no earth was invaded by these
fans that were ghosts or whatever yeah they were don't go through them or something
yeah but if you if they touch you they kill you yeah if they go like they pass through they kill
you but if they touch you you sort of get if they go like they pass through they kill you but if they touch you
you sort of get infected
somehow
so how are you safe?
they were building
they had an energy shield
okay
but then it
look I don't know
I'd love that to be in the movie
look we built an energy shield
I don't know
look we could do the Resident Evil movies.
Hang on.
I'm just going to go through the wiki and I'm going to find out how they defeated the
phantoms in the end.
I reckon it was probably love, if I had to guess.
You had to, yeah.
They gather eight spirits and they give them to Gaia and the phantoms ascend into space.
Quick question.
I'm ready.
The mother of Earth, Gaia.
I think it was an alien Gaia.
You know what happened?
The spirit of an alien world crashed into the spirit of Earth.
Okay.
That's what happened in that movie, if I recall.
Was it evil?
No, it was just wanting to get home.
Although it did kill a lot of people, so.
So, yes.
Yeah, I guess, yeah.
Great.
Yep.
Very good.
Well, that doesn't sound good.
Yeah.
And there weren't any bloody chocobos
i don't know that is they're like they're weird chicken imagine a horse but it's a chicken and
you ride sounds like a racist caricature yeah that's what it sounds like but there were no
yeah there were there were no final fantasy tropes in this movie i don't like those games
how dare you i just don't think they're very good the newer ones isn't it all just
running down different corridors and hit points and turn-based nonsense and big swords there's
not that many corridors but it feels like you're in a corridor right okay yeah i don't know a party
of heroes averts impending global holocaust by drawing on their individual skills gaining
knowledge through challenges and emerging victorius with newfound love and respect for
themselves and their companions is that any of the games or the movie that is no that is that drawing on their individual skills, gaining knowledge through challenges, and emerging Victorians with newfound love and respect for themselves
and their companions.
Is that any of the games or the movie?
No, that is the longest bow you'll ever see for saying that this video game
is in any way like the movies.
Okay, sure.
Resident Evil, right?
Yes.
I think we could do an episode on those alone.
Yeah, okay.
So maybe let's leave that one.
Yeah.
All right.
They stand alone.
Like, not well, certainly. Yeah, but they do stand you're right they're a friend they're a franchise that's held up yeah not quality wise but financially they keep making them they keep
making them for some reason because it's some sort of easy tax dodge or something they make money
though yeah yeah and as we've said before there's always one element in that that is fun and exciting.
And when the new one comes out, you go, hey, remember in the last one, they crashed a biplane
into a sea full of zombies?
I remember that.
Remember that?
Yeah.
Remember the one time, I always say this, when she scissor kicks a rubber dog?
Scissor kicks a rubber dog.
Exactly.
So that's what they've got going for them.
But we'll talk about it another time.
Yeah.
Well, I think there's a new one coming out.
It's called like the final chapter or something okay sure yeah okay here's a quiz for
you i'm ready question what do these movies have in common blood rain house of the dead alone in
the dark postal over ball correct yes i haven't seen any of these i've seen some of them i just
think he's just the biggest fuckwit, bigoted piece of shit. Yep.
Con man asshole, like on the planet.
Like, I just think he's just a bad guy.
Like all around.
Yeah.
They're all bad.
Yeah.
Definitely.
No, I'm talking him.
Oh yeah, no.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Cause we were talking before about how with a, you know, with a modern movie, you might
have, you're an actor and they say, hey, why don't you do this movie? And you show up
and it's green screens and you're in a costume
and the script is kind of weird and you see
other... So you're like, is this going to be good
or not? Sure. In the Name of the King
I think is probably a perfect example of that.
Statham's in it, isn't he?
Jason Statham is in it. We've got John Rhys Davies
he's in it. Great. We've got Matthew Lillard
he's in it. Wait, is this a video game movie?
Yeah, it's In the Name of the King.
It was based on Dungeon Siege.
No shit.
Loosely based.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, Dungeon Siege.
There you go.
But anyway, he's...
Yeah, so Statham shows up, right?
They're like, hey, do you want to do this movie?
It's in the vein of Lord of the Rings.
And it is because it's a clear ripoff of Lord of the Rings.
You've got characters that... You've got a character that looks like-
Do they all get tattoos?
I hope so.
Oh, God, I hope so.
That'd be so great.
And then they get them on the day of the premiere, and then they show up to the premiere.
There's the photo call, and they're like, hey, we all get the tattoos.
And then they go in, and they're like, oh, we've made a terrible mistake.
So we've got Matthew Lillip.
We've got Ron Perlman is in this movie.
We got Lili Sobieski is in it.
Claire Forlani is in it.
She was in Men in Black 1.
She was the love interest in Men in Black 1.
Oh, right.
Yeah, she's good.
Ray Liotta is in this movie.
Yeah, she hates Kevin Smith.
Oh, why is that?
I don't know.
They work together on Dogma.
Oh, that makes sense.
I like Dogma.
Yeah.
Kristana Lurken is in this as well
in a terminator 3 zone yeah and and blood rain zone yeah so in in in the name of the king
we've got so this one has basically has no tropes of dungeon siege yeah they're not even really
what's dungeon siege about The video games. Yeah.
Hang on.
Edit point.
Edit point.
It's a role-playing game.
Oh, and I'm sorry for saying Final Fantasy is bad games.
I'm sure they're fine.
You're in so much trouble.
They're just not my cup of tea.
What is it? Well, Dungeon Siege is like your classic role-playing game.
You get your team a bloody... Imagine Diablo, but more role-playing game you get a team you get your team a bloody it's
imagine diablo but more role-playing oh it's a bit like that even more yeah but this this movie
you've got uh you'd think there'd be like tropes from uh from the video game in it so you've got
jason statham is a farmer he's aptly named farmer and as as a farmer what do you think his weapon of choice would be i can tell you
a shovel keep keep guessing a broom it's a boomerang you were very close but his weapon
of choice is a boomerang uh where is this set like medieval england no man like a medieval
like a vague medieval universe the kingdom of ebb i think is the name okay so so it's like it's not earth
essentially uh-huh so i guess he could have a boomerang yeah like the game there's no no no
unless there's a scene that i didn't recall where there's boomerangs boomerangs aren't
you throw them once and if you hit something with it it doesn't come back people don't seem
to understand that about boomerangs.
Right.
Let me tell you, in this, he does hit some people with a boomerang
and it comes right back.
Wow.
Yeah, there you go.
I mean, Batman can do it, can't he?
Yeah.
Sometimes.
I like it when he just like shurikens people with little,
they just stick at him, stick at him, whatever.
Yeah.
What else happens in that?
In the movie.
Yeah.
All of these.
House of the Dead, Postal.
Look, in the name of the king, it's very much the... You've got your orc characters, but they're not called orcs.
They're like...
Is there like prosthetics?
Yeah, but they're not great.
Hmm.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Is Ron Perlman an orc?
No, Ron Perlman is a fellow farmer.
What's his weapon?
I shudder too.
I think it's a rake.
I think, yeah, so.
That makes sense, I guess.
I don't know, like Blood Rain, House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark.
Some of them have Christian Slater or one of them have, I don't know.
Alone in the Dark, I believe, has a 1% rating.
That's pretty incredible. That's exciting, right? That's very exciting. No, I don't know. Alone in the Dark, I believe, has a 1% rating. That's pretty incredible.
That's exciting, right?
That's very exciting.
No, I don't support this guy in any way.
I don't even, I just think he's, I don't like, I've said my piece.
Yeah.
I just think he's just the worst type of person.
Right.
Yeah.
I feel they're entertaining on a certain level.
Sure.
I feel you should, everybody should watch at least one.
They're entertaining, I guess, from when you think about that everybody had to turn up and do this like all the behind the scenes
they'd have to sit down between takes and have lunch together and yep read through the scripts
and do whatever else happens on movies good lord do you want to talk about any of those other ones
nah good doom yes not a lot of tropes carry over from that well
there's one in particular that does yeah the alien in the wheelchair monster
sure yeah there's a first-person say yeah they were like okay this is based
on a video game yes we were at the time people going fans are really enjoying
this they're enjoying this scene that really brings them into...
I didn't enjoy it at all.
No, I was a huge fan of Doom.
I bloody loved it.
Well, and also in the original Doom and the second one,
and maybe not the third one, though, I can't remember.
I don't think I've played it.
They go to hell.
It's a portal to hell.
Yeah.
But in this one, it's a portal to Mars.
Correct.
Is that right?
Yeah.
And it's a virus?
Oh, boy. That is a good...? Yeah. And it's a virus? Oh boy.
That is a good...
I'm fairly certain it's a virus.
And if you're good, if you're a good person, you get superpowers.
Right.
Like The Rock.
No, he's bad.
Oh, he is too.
Carl Urban's the good guy.
That is amazing.
And you know how else is in that?
We've talked about how Dwayne The Rock Johnson is never a bad guy.
I've completely forgotten he's the villain in this.
There you go.
Yeah.
And also in... So Carl Urban's in it,'ve completely forgotten he's the villain in this. There you go. Yeah. And also in...
So, Carl Urban's in it, but also Rosamund Pike's in it.
That's right.
Yeah.
And Dexter from...
From Press Gang.
From Press...
Who I saw once...
Oh, yes.
...at a Camden market.
Uh-huh.
And I didn't say anything.
Great.
I would have been like, oh, my God.
Dexter Fletcher.
What's your real accent?
Sorry.
Dexter Fletcher, British actor,
who most people probably remember as being soap
in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.
But we know him best as being in Press Gang,
which is a British children's TV series
about junior cub reporters.
And he's American in that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I put that on like, do you remember Ghostwriter,
the TV series? I put them on the same level you remember Ghostwriter the TV series
I put them on the same level
not Ghostwriter
I didn't misspeak
it's Ghostwriter
yeah
yeah
Doom
I saw a bit of it the other day
it's not the worst
it's not the worst
it's just
like it's
that's a common theme
through a lot of these movies
they're not the worst
that's as best as you can expect
but then again
a lot of them are a lot of these movies. They're not the worst. That's as best as you can expect. But then again, a lot of them are.
A lot of them are the worst.
Yes.
So, I don't know.
What is it?
What do we say about it?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't remember.
It's fine?
Is it accurate?
I don't understand why they didn't just go because the the video games you're on one of mars's moons yep you're there you're investigating a thing
yep then it turns out the soldiers have been possessed by demons or whatever yeah or they're
zombie monster men yep and then there are demons, and then it turns out
there's a portal to hell.
They've accidentally opened a portal to hell.
Yep.
Why couldn't they have just done that?
Yeah, well, exactly.
Why mess with that?
Why not?
Is it a religious right kind of thing?
I cannot remember.
I thought it was a virus.
No, I mean...
Oh, what?
I mean, did they not make them demons
because it's a religious right thing in America?
Well, they made Event Horizon
and that is they literally open a portal to hell
or the ship goes to hell.
Right, right, right.
Just make that.
Just tone it down a little bit
because there's some stuff in that
that's pretty messed up.
Yeah.
It's a good movie.
No, you know.
It's good enough.
Yeah, I don't know.
Maybe.
Why can't you do a portal to hell? I guess you can't sell that though as well, can you maybe why can't you do a portal to hell
I guess you can't sell
that though as well
can you
be like
are they open to
portal to hell
like people would be like
no not watching that
yeah I guess
maybe the idea being
that
but again they did it
in event horizon
if it's like
we're in space
and there's a portal to hell
people like too much information
if it was on earth
portal to hell fine
if it was in space
and they just
hang out in space also fine what's ghosts of mars what's that about is ice cube in that i don't know
what a world hey yeah what a world it's the silent hill. Quite like the first one. I agree.
Yeah.
It's pretty accurate.
I think so, yeah.
That vibe is right.
Absolutely.
It's creepy.
There's Triangle Face.
Yeah, Triangle, yeah.
Famous monster Triangle Face.
There's a bit where he de-skins a woman.
Oh, that's right.
Like, tears her skin off.
Yeah.
Sean Bean's in it. Sean Bean is in it.
Radha Mitchell's in it.
The Australian actress.
Boy.
Is it Radha Mitchell?
Is that her name?
Nah.
Maybe we should have done some research.
Nah.
I'm just going to...
Silent Hill.
Radha Mitchell is in it.
Yeah, all right.
Okay.
Apparently the sequel's terrible.
Like really, really bad. Haven't seen it. Jon Snow is in it. Yeah, all right. Yeah, okay. Apparently the sequel's terrible. Like, really, really bad.
Haven't seen it.
Jon Snow's in it.
The actor.
Right.
Kit Harington.
No, no, Jon Snow.
The character.
They're like,
we don't know about this Game of Thrones series.
We don't know if we'll make it or not.
Let's do a soft cross-promotion here.
We'll just introduce one of the characters
into the modern era.
Yeah, he'll do.
And see what happens.
See if people like him
and people really liked
him
people liked it
so the story of Silent
Hill there's a weird
kind of cult ghost town
yeah
where they're trapped in
this weird dimension by
this telepathic girl
yes
because they tortured
her
well and basically the
Sean Bean and
Ryder Mitchell have a
kid and the kids are
all like I like Silent
Hill Silent Hill so they take her to Silent Hill yeah and then basically she have a kid and the kids are all like, I like Silent Hill, Silent Hill.
So they take her to Silent Hill.
Yeah.
And then basically... She's a reincarnation or something?
Or she's being called by the spirit?
Maybe.
Of Silent Hill?
Probably all of those things.
But then Ryder Mitchell is in a car crash.
Yeah.
And then they take her kid
and then she's like,
I'm going to get my kid back.
Triangle face, I know.
Precisely, yes.
Do they explain where he comes from?
In the games, I think they do.
Yeah, but in the movie, he just turns up.
He's terrifying in that movie.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
He's like nine feet tall.
His name's Pyramid Head, isn't it?
Yes, it is.
Good, good.
I like we're idiots for calling him Triangle Face.
I guess it's probably one of the better ones.
I'd put it in my top five.
Yeah.
There we go. Enough? Sure. Let's talk about of the better ones. I'd put it in my top five. Yeah. There we go.
Enough?
Sure.
Let's talk about the first Hitman.
Okay.
It's garbage.
It is garbage, yeah.
I don't know if it's better than the new one because I don't remember it.
Okay.
Well, then let's definitely discuss it.
I don't know.
I don't know anything about it.
The best part of Hitman, the first movie,
is the part where he meets a number of other Hitmen
who are trying to hit him.
And rather than them all just shooting each other,
they decide now is the time for honour.
And they all put down their guns and they draw swords
and they have an honourable sword fight.
That's right.
Yeah.
Did you know, I'm going to spoil the end of the new Hitman.
Okay, I'm ready.
They defeat the bad guy. Yeah, King Hitman. King Hitman. Okay, I'm ready. They defeat the bad guy.
Yeah, King Hitman.
King Hitman.
Or somebody does.
He explodes in a helicopter.
Uh-huh.
And then the elevator doors open and another Hitman appears and it's Agent 48 and he's
the exact copy of Agent 47.
And that's how the movie ends.
He's an exact copy of Agent 47 in Hitman Agent 47?
Or is he a copy of that would
be amazing yeah no it's the same actor okay which implies i guess that all the hitmen look like that
yeah because i thought that they were all they're all genetically modified but i didn't think they
all look the same or maybe they do i don't know well they you can't tell because they're bloody
all mastered to the skies aren't they that's true It's just look for the bald guy in the hat.
That's all you need to do with the fucking barcode across the back of his head.
Yeah, no, whatever.
I don't know.
Anything else?
Honorable sword fights.
That's it.
Yep.
Yep.
Max Payne.
Yep.
Haven't seen it.
Also haven't seen it.
Next.
Next. Apparently it's boring. so that's the issue we have i remember hearing that mark warburg didn't play the games but he got somebody
to play them in front of him and he watched it through so the least interest so as no one see
no wonder it's bad because you you can't enjoy a video game by watching somebody else play it
correct so no you would go into this
with zero interest in the hitman games the original ones yeah they kind of took that
john woo kind of style slow motion shooting and they made that and they put that into a video
game which was incredible was great apparently the new one's really good because rockstar did
the latest okay that's quite solid um but they're all apparently they're all okay i don't know i
don't really remember but i remember in the promo trailers for this there's all angels and demons yeah but i think
it's a dream sequence right okay but i don't know in the original video game yeah there are a series
of surreal flashback action sequences like where you uh like you go through like a corridor that's
made of blood to get to a you know a child's bedroom and it's super creepy kind of thing.
Okay, cool.
I don't know if they pull...
But everybody just says Hitman's boring.
It's a boring film.
So who am I to disagree?
You mean Max Tabe?
Yeah, and it's just an action movie.
Okay, fair enough.
Prince of Persia.
Yes.
I don't think it's any worse than any of the Pirates movies.
Maybe the first one. I don't know. Yeah don't think it's any worse than any of the Pirates movies. Maybe the first one.
I don't know.
Yeah, I think it's on par with Pirates 1.
Yeah.
Okay, good.
Good.
I think Jake Gyllenhaal's good as a Persian guy.
Yep.
Is Ben Kingsley in it?
Ben Kingsley is in it.
Great.
As an even more Persian guy.
Why did this not get a beat down for whitewashing?
I think it did.
Okay, great.
Not as much as Noah did, but yeah.
I guess it's a smaller property and it's not based on a historical event.
Sure.
As in a man didn't really find a dagger with time-travelling sand in it.
Yeah, that's true.
I love those video games.
They're some of my favourite series of video games.
There was a Prince of Persia trilogy and then they made another one
on the last generation console, which is a continuation continuation of that or it's set between one and
two but they also did a weird cel-shaded reboot okay which i did not like right but those four
games are really solid and this gets a lot of that it gets a bit of the parkour and it's really it's
very big budget yes like they put a lot of money into this special effects are pretty good there's
some sand sliding which doesn't look as good you know it's it's pretty cool man guess what the rotten tomato score is 38 36 you were
it's yeah look it's not perfect yep but it's the best it's better than every other movie that we've
talked about i would say so yeah yeah we got one more neither speed oh we We've got one more. Need for Speed. Oh, we've only got one more? Yeah.
Wow.
Did you see that?
It's on Netflix.
I couldn't get through it.
It's so dull.
It's so dull, that movie.
So boring.
Yep.
I don't even think I got to a part with Aaron Paul in it.
Oh, really?
I can't even remember.
It's so dull.
I couldn't tell you the first thing about that movie.
I mean, aside from the speed.
But you know what?
I heard they put a lot of effort into the car chases.
Apparently the car chases are quite good.
Yeah.
Not that you would know, because I don't think you got to that.
I didn't even get to a car chase.
You got any more?
Because I might have missed something.
Oh, Dead or Alive.
That's one of my favorites.
That's a Uwe Boll one, isn't it?
Was it?
No, I don't think it was.
No, it was directed by Corey Yuen. Don't know who that is is it's pretty great it's got australia's holly valance in it oh i do know this dead or alive is the video game franchise is most famous
for it's a fighting game series but all the female characters have like
giant jiggling boobs isn't there a volleyball version of that yes there is they eventually
they were just like who well there was doa i think they got up to five and they're solid fighting games yeah
but at a certain point they're like i guess some of our audience are just perverts who don't want
to they can't be bothered with all these fighting game mechanics let's just have all the cat let's
just get all the female characters and have them wear bikinis and play volleyball. And then I think there was a sequel to that.
There wasn't even any volleyball.
What was it?
Just jumping?
Yeah.
Okay.
Anyway, this movie is super dumb, but I enjoyed it.
And it's got Eric Roberts in it.
All of those things sound great.
Yeah.
Very good.
Is that it?
I think Eric Roberts, like, I really enjoy the work ethic of Eric Roberts.
Because he's just like
I listened to an interview
with him
I think it was
on Adam Carolla
or something like that
and he's just like
you know
somebody will come up to him
and be like
hey do you want to spend
three weeks in Thailand
and get paid to do it
and then sit by the beach
all day
and then
you know
be in some dumb movie
and he's like
yeah
I do
he just does that
all year
great
good for him man yeah i heard
him and julia roberts hate each other oh well that makes sense who's the better roberts though
that's a question for another day isn't it though um i got a question i got an email here yes uh
from andrew in texas oh also the final battle of dead or alive eric robert puts on like virtual
reality glasses that give him kung fu powers because the thought of alive eric robert puts on like virtual reality glasses that give him kung
fu powers because the thought of imagining eric robert's fighting anybody kung fu style is pretty
pretty ridiculous right it is he's great in the dark night he is yeah yeah greetings and salutations
nick and james this summer has proven to be a major setback for video game uh for the video
game movie genre with the release of pixels and agent 47 at their core the video game movie genre, with the release of Pixels and Agent 47.
At their core, most video game movies flop due to studios passing these projects along
to relatively unknown or unsuccessful directors who treat the project like a resume requirement
before getting into real films.
That's fair.
But do a lot of these directors get into quote-unquote real films?
No.
Surely not.
I feel this is more a... These movies are more of a punishment. Oh, okay. No. Surely not. I feel this is more a...
These movies are more of a punishment.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
I feel it might be people who have done real films
and then they've kind of flopped
and they're just like,
well, this is what I'm doing now.
However, with Duncan Jones,
Helming Warcraft,
and Assassin's Creed being produced by Michael Fassbender,
perhaps these upcoming films will be the health pack.
Oh, very good.
It's good.
Very good.
Anyway, what video game?
A real one-up.
Yes.
What video game?
A real multi-ball for the video game industry.
A real flower that lets you shoot fire.
Shoot fire.
Fire flower.
And changes your overalls to white.
Anyways, what video game movies would you guys like to see on the big screen
and who should direct them?
Take care, lovely gents.
PSO turned 21 on the 25th
but I got class all day
so I won't be able to celebrate
so I was wondering
if I could get a birthday shout out
if it's in too much trouble.
I think you should skip class.
You don't need the shout out.
Finally,
some wisdom on this podcast.
Whatever this is, we do.
Thank you.
Happy birthday, mate.
Yeah.
A lot of people want
the Uncharted movies
to be on screen.
I would like that a lot.
That's happening.
Yeah, good.
Very good.
It was going to be Cade Jaeger.
Sorry, Mark Wahlberg.
That was his character in Transformers.
I get confused because he's such a good actor.
Such a good actor.
And he would have stopped 9-11.
You got the others?
I think Metal Gear Solid is on the way.
Yes, I believe it was Tom Hardy.
Or maybe that's not happening.
Or maybe he's split to sell.
I can't remember.
Yeah.
I would like to see that a lot.
Would you like to see a Metal Gear Solid movie
and Kurt Russell is big boss?
Yes.
Yes.
Boy, would I.
I don't know if that's off the top of your head.
That is off the top of my head.
Wow, that'd be great.
If you can't wait for a Metal Gear Solid movie, just go play like Metal Gear Solid 4 and watch
the last cutscene that goes for like two hours.
Good.
It's ridiculous.
Yeah.
Like, you know the thing with like, I'd like to see The Last of Us and the Uncharted movies,
but those are movies. See, exactly, you know the thing with like, I'd like to see The Last of Us and the Uncharted movies, but those are movies.
See, exactly.
You know what I mean?
I don't feel that they should, they will attempt to do it because the story's been built in.
Yeah.
But I don't think they should.
They should just get Josh Brolin and remake The Last of Us.
Yeah, okay.
You know what I mean?
It'd be, I mean, that character is Josh Brolin.
Because when there's, but when there's like a multi, you know, when there's a video game
that's got like 30 hours of story in it.
Yeah.
I don't feel that they should,
you know,
and with The Last of Us,
the story is really important to it.
Absolutely.
I don't think that they should
attempt to break that down to two hours.
Fair.
I think they'd cut out a lot of...
They'd cut out the giraffes.
Spoiler alert.
Have you played that game?
Some of it.
It's amazing.
Do you have a PS4?
Not yet. I'll lend you a
copy okay great um
you'll lend me a copy
of your ps4 no i need
that oh sure okay it
came with the system
i haven't played it yet
yeah um i mean i played
it on ps4 yeah i i
don't i don't know if
you i'm happy that
video games can be
video games yeah yeah
movies can be movies
oh deus ex human
revolution i'd watch a
video i'd watch a
yeah that's happening
apparently yeah but like video game to movies. Oh, Deus Ex Human Revolution. I'd watch a video game. Yeah, that's happening, apparently.
Okay, great, yeah.
But, like, video game to movies don't work well,
and it also doesn't generally work well the other way.
They can just be their own thing.
That's true, yeah.
Don't you reckon?
I mean, based on what we've seen today...
Yes.
...making a movie based on a video game isn't going to turn out well.
So, in a way, I kind of hope they don't make any more.
Do you think Warcraft, though, at the very least, can do well or John Carter it?
I think it will make a lot of money.
Yeah.
But I don't know if it's going to be any good.
It's Duncan Jones, though.
Oh, okay.
You've mentioned that repeatedly.
I keep forgetting.
If anyone can do it, he can do it, I would say.
Okay.
Yeah.
Great.
Do you want me to list some-
But this might be the only good one we ever get this
but that's the case
yeah if it is good
we're gonna get a lot
of video game movies
aren't we and a lot of
fantasy movies like I
would say that would
kick off yeah yeah
apparently well then
we're getting Dungeons
and Dragons we're
getting a whole bunch
of stuff do you want
to hear some upcoming
ones yes Ratchet and
Clank that's gonna be
animated great okay
good yeah angry birds
the movie as long as we're
not going to get bloody josh gad and somebody to be ratchet and or clank uh angry birds the movie
animated i hate it warcraft do angry do the angry birds have a through plot line yeah there's the
pigs stole their eggs oh okay good don't you remember all right uh that might be a bit of a
kind of a wallace and Gromit kind of vibe.
Sure.
All right.
I won't watch it, but I'll be aware of it.
You'll know it's out.
Yeah, I'll know it's out, probably.
Resident Evil, the final chapter.
What do you think is the chance of that being the final chapter?
It's not going to be the final chapter.
Wait, unless Milla Jovovich retires or something.
Yeah.
Uncharted, Metal Gear Solid, Temple Run.
Isn't that an iPhone game game yes well so is angry birds
yeah uh sly cooper oh yeah that could work um sonic the hedgehog uh i'm gonna say that doesn't
work i don't think that'll work no i think he's burnt too many bridges in video games sure yeah
and he brought sega down he brought sega itself to his knees, they did a lot of things, but yeah, that was...
Yeah, yeah.
Terrible Sonic games didn't help.
There is the one where he turns into a werewolf.
Okay.
Familiar with that game?
No.
Doesn't matter.
Just Cause, Scorpion Rising.
That could be fun, if done right.
I hope it's...
Those games are nuts.
I hope it's set entirely like it's a guy on a paraglider,
and it's just like a mid-shot of on a paraglider and it's just that's like it's just like a mid
shot of him like his face and his shoulders and he's held on on a like a paraglider like cables
or whatever yeah and it's just a shot of that for 90 minutes while he's like whoa whoa and then just
stuff's happening around him he's firing a gun occasionally it's something we can't see
great i would love that Mass Effect these are
also like in
development like
those are games with
a hundred hours of
story though yeah
so good luck to
Tomb Raider again
I think you could
do Tomb Raider
right yeah I
think so too yeah
yeah Splinter Cell
we talked about and
Last of Us so there
you go yeah great
we did it did we
it depends what
like what the goal was.
Yeah, yeah.
So whatever we did just now was a thing that happened.
We did that.
No one can take that away from us that that's a thing that happened.
Do you want to do the what we're reading part?
Yeah.
I'll put in the theme song.
Great.
I'm doing the theme.
I'm doing the theme.
What are we reading today?
What are you reading?
Do you want to go first?
Sure.
I watched Predestination.
Yes.
Did you ever see the movie?
I have a copy of this right here and I haven't watched it.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
I was surprised.
You should watch it.
It's a good kind of time travel flick.
It's kind of creepy in parts
and weird
and it's mind bendy
and you kind of see
the twist coming
before it comes
there's a few twists
but it's good
it's solid storytelling
and it's an Australian
ish film
the guy who made
Daybreakers
Dawnbreakers
Daybreakers
Stormbreakers
Storm Riders
Spyro the Dragon
was that a
Dino Riders
yes that should be a movie we finally got to something we want yeah it's solid man Ethan Hawke's good Stormbreakers. Storm. Storm Riders. Spyro the Dragon. Was that a- Dino Riders. Yes.
That should be a movie.
We finally got to something we want.
Yeah, it's solid, man.
Ethan Hawke's good.
So I should literally start watching it right now.
Well, yeah, I guess you could.
Right, good.
No headphones.
Just watch this.
What's you reading?
What you gonna read?
I'm gonna watch Predestination.
Yeah? I don't know what I've been watching this week Did you read any books?
Read any books, how dare you
Sorry
Yeah
Did you read any comic books?
You don't actually know what I watched
I watched the first episode
And everybody's already over this already
But it's called Catastrophe
It's got Rob Delaney in it
Don't know that
It's basically a Rob Delaney in it. I don't know that. It's basically a...
Rob Delaney's like a sales executive or whatever.
He goes to America.
He meets a woman.
They hook up.
He leaves.
And then like a month later, she calls him to say she's pregnant.
And so he has to go over and deal with that whole situation.
What's Rob Delaney in?
Twitter.
What?
He's huge on Twitter.
He's a comedian.
He's huge on Twitter.
He's got a big old head
big old
okay
and it's good
yeah it's fun
yeah I'm enjoying it a lot
also Australian
government workplace comedy
Utopia is back
I haven't watched
the new episode yet
it is too
yeah it's great
yeah I like it
that's one of my
Americans you can probably
get that on the internet
somewhere
it's very good fun
I really like that show
it's one of the best
Australian shows.
I'd say so, yeah.
I'd say so, yeah.
But Catastrophe, yeah, it's out on,
I think Americans get it on Amazon Video
or something like that.
Sure.
It's pretty good.
I don't think we have that here.
No.
Well, we do.
It doesn't matter.
I saw it on RU.
Great.
I've got a letter here.
I'm ready.
From Jose, for what we read.
Sure, no, I understand.
The new Jesse Eisenberg film, American Ultra.
If you want to email us,
weeklyplanetpod at gmail.com.
Correct.
The new Jesse Eisenberg film,
American Ultra,
is super fun,
action-packed,
stoner film with a surprising amount of heart.
Eisenberg's character,
Mick Howell,
is a stoner working at a convenience store with his girlfriend
when he's attacked
and finds out he's a sleeper agent
killing machine.
Eisenberg and Kristen Stewart
have great on-screen chemistry
and overall it was super fun.
Plus,
it's not a reboot or a sequel.
And finally, I hope to see more original films in Hollywood.
Thanks for the podcast.
Can't help but be the official Jeff Lemire's run.
Green arrow of the podcast.
Yes, you may.
Excellent.
Yeah, I've heard nothing but good things about that.
Me too.
And again, so it's Jesse Eisenberg and Kristen Stewart re-teaming after Adventureland.
Correct.
Which was very good.
Yeah.
People are like, ugh, Kristen Stewart, oh.
But she's good in stuff that she's interested in doing.
You know what?
She's good in, there's a Julianne Moore movie.
I talked about it.
Still Alice.
She's really good in that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Look.
By the end, was she still Alice?
No.
Wow.
Jesus.
She became a beautiful butterfly.
Wow.
And that's a good movie.
It's sad.
It's good.
I don't want to talk about it because it's emotional.
There's no room for emotions.
We had our bloody fill of emotions earlier on in the podcast.
Correct.
Do you have a letter to say for this week?
I do.
Great.
It's from Gabs, Gabs Gale.
Should we talk about how this works?
Oh, sure.
Well, you every week refuse to edit in another theme.
I refuse!
You bloody stop doing it, mate.
And no, you won't.
So every week I ask the listeners
to send in any Weekly Planet themes they would like to.
Sometimes it's on a theme, like a particular theme,
like spy movie theme or whatever.
But just send one in.
It's fine.
And I, what you have to do is you're going to need
to put it on YouTube and then tweet me that you've done that
and then I will play it through my phone.
Yes, he will.
Just directly through the old speaker.
So anyway, Gab's Gale.
Do you reckon people can hear that lawnmower?
I think they can hear nothing but the lawnmower.
It's fine.
It's a super cut Harry and the Masons letters theme tune.
I have absolutely no idea what this is.
So ears unheard.
Let's see how this goes, hey?
All right.
All right.
Bet we're going to add first.
It's the floor.
You've got to go.
Look, you're on.
All right, please, please.
There's no time.
Don't worry about us.
We'll be all right.
Get out of here. You're messing. Can't you see we don't know what that was
that's kind of genius
yeah
it's from
Harry and the Hendersons
the movie yes it is so there's a Harry and the Hendersons, the movie.
Yes, it is.
So there's a scene at the end where they have to get rid of Harry and so they pretend that they don't like him
and they've just edited in me saying Nick Mason.
Yeah.
He's referred to as that as his greatest work and I believe him.
That's so stupid, but I love it.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
It's not even so stupid but i love it absolutely yeah it's not even any it's not even
a theme tune doesn't even say letters in it i'll take it i'll bloody take it yeah that's great
hey guys just wanted to say i love the show you guys are great i have a question if you could
ban any movie cliche what would it be i would forbid any scene in where there's a scientist slash nerd character
give some exposition and another character says,
English!
Yeah.
Keep up the good work and grab that gem.
Joe from the wild north of England.
What would NCIS do, the TV series, without that trope though?
Yeah.
If they got rid of that.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Because every episode, I would like a super cut of just the
main guy and that going english mcgee because there's a guy called mcgee oh really yeah wow
yeah i want to get rid of any cut anything from the matrix anything that anything that happened
in the matrix anything any kind of action scene okay that do you feel that that sort of stuff is
still happening i feel i just saw hitman yeah it is oh boy give me an example uh what is it is there a lot of people spinning he's on his back and he's shooting gun
i can't even think there was a moment i think it was a bit where he's on his back and then he goes
up onto his feet and he's bending over backwards and firing guns behind him okay and so any kind
of gymnastic shooting yes get rid of it okay uh i don't love shaky cam get rid of that yeah yeah
it can work but it generally doesn't yeah you know what i don't like mediocre these kind of
mediocre hitman taken three uh transporter three or the transporter reboot oh yes middle of the
road bullshit action movies that are nothing so So the whole thing that has to go.
All of it.
Just get rid of it.
Right.
Because they're not, you can't talk about them at length because they're so forgettable.
And they're not interesting.
So you can't even say this was a good bit.
It's just.
Yeah.
Just get rid of those.
It's interesting because there's, when you think that there's so much content out there,
like there's so many movies and TV series, We're never going to, like in our lifetime,
you're never going to see every movie or TV series.
Like there's not even close.
Not even if you had an extra hundred years,
you still couldn't do it.
And yet they still make these things.
You would think that maybe with the advent of Netflix
and all this stuff, that'd die off.
You hope so.
But evidently not.
Do you know what I'm saying?
You know like your Mark Wahlberg shooter.
They're just okay.
Yeah.
Like, just whatever Clive Owen did last.
Right, yeah.
Some of Gerard Butler's movies, I guess.
I don't mind Gamer.
And what was the one where...
Law Abiding Citizens.
Yes.
Where his wife and kid were killed.
Yeah.
And then it turned out that he was like a CIA super soldier.
Like he was just a regular guy.
He was the killer from Saw.
Yeah, he was the killer from Saw.
But he was an action star.
Yeah, but he was also the good guy,
but then by Act 3 he wasn't the good guy anymore.
Yeah, that's...
That movie goes all kinds of places.
Yeah, that's not an example of what I'm talking about.
You want more of that?
Not necessarily, but I think... I think just having the one of that is fine that movie was very interesting
i was thinking about that the other day apropos of nothing i'm just like boy remember that
jb fox is in it yeah remember when he rigged that judge's phone to explode when she picked it up
and shoot her through the head. That's right. Yeah.
It's a solid movie, baby.
Yeah, no, I don't think so.
Anything else?
Any trope you want to ban?
What about any scene where they both put down their guns and have a punch up?
Yeah, no, that's... I don't like that.
Any kind of...
Yeah, exactly.
They did it in Expendables 3.
They did it in Expendables 3.
Anything in Expendables 3. Yeah, just. They did it in Expendables 3. They did it in Expendables 3. Anything in Expendables 3.
Yeah, just anything where...
Because it's a life or death situation.
Yeah.
And it's really important that both of those guys kill the other guy.
Yeah.
Just shoot him.
You should have.
I want to see it.
There should be one more where the good guy drops his gun and the bad guy shoots him.
And then it's the end of the movie.
Oh, yeah.
Just have that.
Yeah.
Because once-
Gerard Butler?
Yeah, whatever.
As both characters?
As both characters.
It's a remake of Arnold Schwarzenegger's The Sixth Day.
Great.
Yeah.
Do you know in The Sixth Day, there's no Arnold-Arnold fight?
That's very disappointing.
What are they doing?
How many Arnold clones were there in that movie?
There's at least one.
I don't remember.
I didn't get through it.
Okay.
Well, then how do you know you missed...
No, I know there isn't.
Okay.
Because apparently I saw a review for Terminator Genisys
where there's an Arnold on Arnold part
and they're like, they should have done this in the sixth.
I'm like, yeah, you're right.
They should have if I watched the rest of that movie.
Anyway, tropes are another time.
I think we could probably do an episode on that.
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
Hey, Nick and James. By the way, I read one of the letters earlier about the video game movie. Anyway, tropes are another time. I think we could probably do an episode on that. Oh, boy. Yeah. Hey, Nick and James.
By the way,
I read one of the letters earlier
about the video game movie,
so this is the last letter.
Oh, wow.
And I feel like we've earned this.
Yeah, yeah.
We can...
Yeah.
What do you think about
the announcement of that
Legends of Tomorrow
being the last CW superhero show?
Good or bad decision?
Love the podcast.
You two do a great job,
so don't mess it up.
From Kayla.
P.S.
Can I be the official
Paschetti thief of the podcast
Yes you may
It was him
Yeah
Did you hear about that
I didn't hear about that
That's going to be the last one
Yeah
And then are they giving up
The license
Or what's happening
No I think they're just
I think they're like
We've got enough
We've got Arrow
We've got The Flash
We've got Legends of Tomorrow
I'm okay with that
Me too
Look I like those
Yep
Shows quite a bit
We haven't seen Legends obviously No but You know they're enjoyable series Zzzz I'm okay with that. Me too. Look, I like those shows quite a bit.
We haven't seen Legends, obviously.
No, but they're enjoyable series.
They're all the same.
If we're talking about tropes, all the same.
Okay.
I mean, not mechanic.
Arrow's got flashback sequences.
I know, I know. But we've got a team.
Same tone.
Tone, exactly, yeah.
Colour palette.
Colour palette is...
Arrow's a little darker.
Yeah, but...
Yeah, I think we got the gist of it.
Yeah.
Unless they're going to do a big shift in tone or something.
Yeah.
Or, you know, but we've got enough of these series.
We've got...
This particular TV universe is big enough, I feel.
And, you know, you've got Constantine coming this particular TV universe is big enough. I feel. And you know,
you got Constantine coming into Arrow as well across from NBC,
I believe,
you know,
you can still introduce characters.
Hey,
no,
I'm not saying this will definitely be the last one,
but I think they know that they shouldn't saturate the market.
Right.
They've got three and you know,
the third one might not even work.
Right.
And so,
you know,
if you had two really good ones that rate
well you don't need to do any more with that correct yeah there you go that's the show for
this week mason we did it we did now next week we said we do a versus episode great but all do we
want to save that because next week is episode 99 and the following week will be 100 oh yes so do
we do the versus then in the 100th episode and do something else next week?
Look, it's bloody up in the air, isn't it?
It is, isn't it?
Don't make me make any decisions on this show, all right?
Okay.
Well, I was saying maybe you could throw it open to listeners.
Yes.
What they want us to do for the 100th episode.
Okay, yeah.
There is a Reddit thread.
Yeah, there is.
Oh, yeah, there is.
Reddit slash r slash The Weekly Planet.
Yeah.
Or whatever it is.
Look, don't expect anything better than what we just did now.
Wow.
Just, well, we might just make it a regular one.
People are saying Q&A.
I don't really want to do a Q&A one.
Do you want to do a Q&A one?
Because you don't like revealing anything about yourself.
That's not even that.
I just don't think it's that interesting.
Like, who cares about what I do or what you do
I don't care what you do
oh no
worst outcome
yeah I don't know
but do you have any
thoughts on what you'd want to do
let's bloody wing it
let's wing it on the day
episode 100
let's just
let's just start talking
and see what happens
alright
so how about
we will do verses next week
how about that
so people send in your verses
tweet them at both of us,
I guess,
at Wikipedia Brown for Mason.
Yep.
At Mr.
Sunday movies or email them in,
keep them short and we'll probably end up doing like maybe 12.
So we'll get a lot.
So we'll pick out,
we won't necessarily pick out the best ones.
We'll pick out the ones that we feel like we could say something about,
I guess.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
Hmm.
Do you want to do a warm-up one?
Okay.
I don't have one.
Great.
No, someone sent me one.
It was a good one.
What was it?
I can't remember.
Great.
Yeah.
But it was like, but I said to them,
can you send this back to me?
Because I'll forget.
And lo and behold, I have forgotten.
Thank you to Bruton Basilisk for the themes.
Yeah, man.
What else?
Well, they can find us at Weekly Planet Pod on Gmail and Facebook and Twitter.
Correct.
We've already done ours.
We have.
Also follow The Weekly Planet on Twitter.
Yes.
Because he's a fan account who is much better at being us than us.
So definitely follow him.
I've got it.
I found it.
Great.
Oh, sorry.
Keep going.
Sorry.
Bandcamp.
Weeklyplanetpod.bandcamp.com. Commentaries. Patreon.com slash MrSundayMovies. Correct. I found it. Great. Oh, sorry. Keep going. Sorry. Bandcamp. Weeklyplanetpod.bandcamp.com.
Commentaries.
Patreon.com slash MrSundayMovies.
Correct.
All those things.
All the greats.
So this is from Neil.
Doctor Doom from the Fantastic Four Silver Surfer movies.
Yep.
Or Doctor Doom from the last movie.
Who wins?
Well, Doctor Doom in reboot.
Yes.
Has vague telekinetic powers.
Head-exploding powers.
Head-exploding powers.
He can also move rocks around.
Correct.
And you've just watched The Silver Surfer.
Yes.
So this is fresh.
Yeah.
He has lightning gloves.
He has lightning gloves and he's really smarmy.
So I'm going to give it to Australia's own Julian McMahon for smarmy-ness there.
You really think that's... You think he just wouldn't
burst his head inside his helmet?
Oh, yeah, that's a really good point, actually.
I'd like to see that, just like blood come out of the eyes
and nose, you know what I mean?
Out of that helmet. Yeah, interesting.
That's a precursor to the quality
of show you can expect next week.
Yeah. In fact, we'll probably edit
that one in as just the highlight.
That's right. Alright. We did it. Now, as always probably edit that one in as just the highlight. That's right. All right.
We did it.
Now, as always, grab that gem, guys.
Yes.
And James, what do you say?
I don't say anything.
Your famous catchphrase, I'm not going to say, who ate all my paschetti?
I'm saying nothing.
Okay.
We're going to end the show.
Great.
I'm going to lie down.
Okay, good.
You've earned it.
I have.
Because you're hungry. You need to lie down because you're hungry. I've earned it. I have. Because you're hungry.
You need to lie down because you're hungry.
I'm so hungry.
Because someone ate your paschetti.
That's right.
Who ate your paschetti?
No, we'll never know.
We'll never know.
Bye, guys.
Bye.