The Weekly Planet - 98 Best & Worst Video Game Movies

Episode Date: August 24, 2015

In honour of Hitman: Agent 47 being terrible we go through every video game movie ever!Plus some sad news for Batman fans, Michael Shannon on Batman V Superman, Victor Frankenstien, Suicide Squad, Zor...ro, He-man, Wolverine and whatever else we said. Thanks for listening! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors, like high blood pressure developed during pregnancy, which can put us two times more at risk of heart disease or stroke. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. Red hot comic book movie news, shooting up your butthole. The Weekly Planet, official podcast of comicbookmovie.com where we talk movies and TV shows and sometimes video game movies that we don't want to talk about. Let's do it this week.
Starting point is 00:00:40 Let's get it out of the way. Let's get it out of the way. My name is James, also known as Mr. Sunday. With me is always my co-host. Mr. Mr. Sunday. Mr. Mr. Sunday. That's what I'm going to do this week. Let's get it out of the way. Let's get it out of the way. My name is James, also known as Mr. Sunday. With me is always my co-host. Mr. Mr. Sunday. Mr. Mr. Sunday. That's what I'm going to do this week. Pick up on slight mispronunciations of words and just rail you for them.
Starting point is 00:00:53 With me is always my co-host, Nick Mason. It's me. Cardigan off. Blanket on. Let's do this. So we're here in your man cave. Regular room. And you're turning into a total bro dude with a man cave.
Starting point is 00:01:06 I'm apparently turning into Howard. I've got a big neon sign. Yeah. Party down, it says. And I'm apparently turning into Howard Hughes because I'm just wearing a blanket everywhere and no shoes. And you discover the hidden door in here. Yeah. It's not a hidden door.
Starting point is 00:01:18 There's a door that you look directly at. Every week. Which leads into a bathroom that you have not noticed. Yeah. It's amazing. Yeah. Well, I'm distracted by the bloody, the big pool table with your face on it and my gym beam yeah bar mats yeah exactly all right straight into it yes like sad news yeah great you do your sad news i've
Starting point is 00:01:37 more sad news after that is it personal sad news no you have some kind of infection yeah but that's that's i have a different podcast. Oh, okay, right. It's my podcast, Does This Look Infected with Nick Mason. Look it up on iTunes. Yvonne Craig, Batgirl from the original 1966. She passed away. She passed away. 78 years old.
Starting point is 00:01:56 Not a great run. 78, I feel like, is not very old. Well, now. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like 100 years ago, you're the oldest person in the world I guess that's true yeah now it's kind of like yeah but you know
Starting point is 00:02:08 it's we should probably expose to something on a Batman set sure yeah bat asbestos there were a lot of bat bestos
Starting point is 00:02:14 yeah breast cancer so that really sucks yeah she had a good run I guess in terms of you just said she didn't have a good run
Starting point is 00:02:22 no in terms of being remembered and like you know She I think was that the first Live action Batgirl Yes it was Yeah
Starting point is 00:02:29 So I mean in that sense I mean What an iconic role to take on Yeah absolutely Who's the better Batgirl Her or Michelle Pfeiffer That's a really good question We'll never know will we
Starting point is 00:02:40 No No Yeah It's a shame Has there been another Has there been another Live action Batgirl Has there No there live action Batgirl?
Starting point is 00:02:47 No, there's been Alicia Silverstone. Oh, shit. I completely forgot. Very good. She's clearly the best Batgirl there. Yeah, absolutely. What about Birds of Prey? Is there a Batgirl in Birds of Prey? Well, there's Oracle.
Starting point is 00:02:58 Yeah. Dina Meyer was Oracle, but you see her very briefly in flashbacks as Batgirl. Okay. And then nothing. Yeah, all right. Well. She's not the best. I mean, she's fine, but it's not.
Starting point is 00:03:10 That's not a good show. No, it's certainly not. Yeah. Everyone's got vague telepathy. Is that right? Everybody, no. Several of the characters had exactly, like, had, like, these weird evolving, you know, mental abilities. Yeah. had these weird evolving mental abilities. One of them especially
Starting point is 00:03:26 who was sort of the Black Canary character had whatever ability she needed to get out of any given situation that the writers had painted themselves into. So she had telepathy up until a point where she's trapped in a room and a key's over on the other side to open the lock or whatever
Starting point is 00:03:42 and then all of a sudden she has telekinesis. It was like one of those shows. In great batman tradition yeah absolutely yeah that's ridiculous additional sad news um leonard b does this look infected yeah sorry leonard b robinson who uh commonly called the route 29 batman uh he died as well um so he was he was basically he was a uh he used he he was a businessman in the past he retired and then he used sort of the money he earned he bought himself a like a lamborghini a batman a batmobile styled lamborghini and he bought the costume and he went around to sick kids and he you know he entertained him and he yeah that sort of stuff bloody legend yeah visited visited sick children and stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:04:29 And his car actually broke down by the side of the road. And when he got out, he was hit by a car and he died. That's fucked up. I know, right? And Donald Trump lives. Oh, no. This week, did you hear how he called himself Batman? Oh, that's the worst.
Starting point is 00:04:42 Oh, he's not Batman. No. Everything about him is wrong. He's not even Lex Luthor. No, he's not he's not bad no everything about him is wrong even lex luther no he's not yeah um but uh people will know leonard b robertson best probably there was a video that went viral where uh police pulled up there's it's police dash cam footage of uh them pulling uh over to the side of the road this black lamborghini yeah didn't have a license plate. It just had Batman logos on it. And they pull him aside and he opens the door up and Batman gets out. And they have a chat with Batman who points out that all his license information
Starting point is 00:05:14 is inside the car and he hands it over. And they let him go on his way. Damn right. That's a shame. I hope the Bat Kid doesn't die. There's too much happening. I know, right? Too much sad news in the world Kid doesn't die. Yeah. Like, there's too much happening. I know, right? Too much sad news in the world of Batman.
Starting point is 00:05:26 Yeah. Okay, moving on to... But there's still hope in the world because this isn't infected. That's right. Just so we're clear. Great. Yet. In more sad news, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is getting a spin-off.
Starting point is 00:05:38 Oh, here we go. Nah, but good on it. It's going to be called Marvel's Most Wanted, and it follows Bobby and Lance, who you remember is mocking Bird and British Jake Chisel. British Jake Chisel. So what is it? Adrian Palicki and Nick Blood.
Starting point is 00:05:54 So they'll have their own adventures. Why is Nick Blood? He should have just used his own name. Agreed. Like Jake Chisel used his own name. Correct. Yeah. What do you think about that?
Starting point is 00:06:06 And it's called Marvel's Most Wanted. Yes. On the run? Secret Avengers? Are they on the run? Yeah, that's a good question. I don't know. I'm sure there was a synopsis.
Starting point is 00:06:14 I didn't read. Look. It could be great. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I feel like there's a chance that, you know, if you could separate yourself from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and you could do something completely different you know that's i don't hate agents of shield i just
Starting point is 00:06:28 i don't watch it anymore i've had enough i don't want to i don't care about your bloody your secret underground temples and whatever i don't i don't care you don't care about people walking through underground things finding finding things that blow maybe yeah find an artifact yeah so this could be like you know its own thing like, you know, its own thing. Well, it will be its own thing, and hopefully it's good or whatever. Walking Dead spinoff starts tomorrow. Follow the pair and their adventures together. That's all we've got.
Starting point is 00:06:54 Wow, there you go. All right, fine. Did they go on the run at the end of the last one? Couldn't tell you, mate. Okay, great. We'll find out. See, I got very, I was, when you said that, I'm like I'm like Oh maybe it's Maybe it'll focus on some villains Yeah
Starting point is 00:07:06 Get some costumed villains Yeah Going from town to town Yeah Robin or whatever Yeah Not Robin Robin
Starting point is 00:07:12 There'll be robbing places Robbing Robins Yes Yeah Yeah no sorry Fine God whatever Maybe this could be like
Starting point is 00:07:19 Supernatural with A British guy and a girl In what sense? Like they're going after The most wanted Marvel kind of criminals. Like B-list superheroes. Okay, sure. I would like that. Yeah, me too.
Starting point is 00:07:31 That thing that I just thought of. Yeah. Well, they're definitely going to use that idea you've just thought of. So, great. Okay, moving on. Michael Shannon said some weird shit about... He's in Batman v Superman. Right.
Starting point is 00:07:43 You know how we saw him in the trailer? I thought that was just like they'd CGI'd his face in or... Okay, yeah. Or it was like a dummy or you know how we saw him in the trailer i thought that was just like a they'd cgi'd his face in or okay yeah it was like a dummy or whatever but they got him in the body got him in the body bag because he's actually playing he's he's general zod in he's general sorry man of steel and will appear in some capacity in batman v superman right we'll get to this is the quote he had about his costume i'm ready the bride's up on my balls he said no sorry what am i doing i don't understand why they've just given me a t-shirt with doomsday on it i don't i don't even know i was in my costume and i couldn't use my fingers because in the sequel i have flippers instead of hands so i had these wax flippers on my fingers and i couldn't open
Starting point is 00:08:21 the door and i could hear zach snyder the director being like where's shannon where the fuck is he and the whole crew was standing around and I was like knocking on the door with my flippers let me out of here by the way he was in a port-a-loo okay great sure like he actually was I'm not it's not a joke he was in a port-a-loo so he's got some kind of prosthesis how did he get into the port-a-loo in the first very good question that was my question yeah yeah did he have like an intern i didn't use his mouth i would say there was an intern and uh then the intern was called away intern let him in yeah or maybe it was like uh i don't know michael shannon yeah well michael shannon's maybe there's wacky pranks on set happening there could be just like the suicide squad which we'll get to okay great
Starting point is 00:09:02 but um i can imagine michael shannon being locked in a port-a-loo with like prosthetics on his hand and just being like, what am I doing? I was in the road. I was in Boardwalk Empire. That's it, exactly. But that's Doomsday, right? I mean, it doesn't have to be Doomsday, but it feels like,
Starting point is 00:09:18 I don't think it was literal flippers. No. Doomsday's got like big kind of claw hands. Yeah, that's probably it. I'd say that's what it was. So how very exciting. Or some sort of dolphin man. Yes of claw hands. Yeah, that's probably it. I'd say that's what it was. So how very exciting. Or some sort of dolphin man. Yes.
Starting point is 00:09:27 Tusk. You could be Tusk. Did you see that? No, I didn't. Was it any good? I watched the end. Okay, great. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:09:35 I guess. Was it as an appropriate ending as you would like for a movie that you hadn't seen the start of? Correct, yes. Right. You know, it's about a guy who does a podcast. Oh, yeah. And he travels around and goes and visits weird people.
Starting point is 00:09:48 Like, that's the story. That's the premise. And when you say he visits people, do you mean he visits freaks of nature or something? No, yeah, kind of, yeah. That's great for an audio medium. Sure is. Look at this guy.
Starting point is 00:10:02 Well, see you next week. It's no Nick Mason does this look infected thank you but um yeah because it's it's based on
Starting point is 00:10:10 I'm probably talking about this but it's based on a real wanted ad in the UK because Kevin Smith and Scott Mosher talked about it on Smodcast oh
Starting point is 00:10:18 he put up an ad for a guy to to live with him and dress as a walrus for a few hours a day and like and they would be friends or whatever.
Starting point is 00:10:25 Oh, sure. I think I remember that. It spun out of that. Like Safety Not Guaranteed. Is that how that started? Yeah. Safety Not Guaranteed is based on a want ad in a newspaper. It turned out to be fake in the end, but, you know.
Starting point is 00:10:38 Who cares? Who cares? Exactly. Which was like, need someone for time travel and whatever. That's a good movie. Yeah, it is. He's doing the new Star Wars. I know. We talked about that. Yeah, it is. He's doing the new Star Wars. I know.
Starting point is 00:10:45 We talked about that. Yeah, we talked about that. Okay, so David Ayer and Joel Kinnaman, the director and one of the stars of... Robocop. The director and Robocop of this movie. Yes, of Suicide Squad. Both of them got squad tattoos on their forearms.
Starting point is 00:10:59 S-K-A... S-K-W-A-D. Oh, boy. From Will Smith and Margot Robbie. That's not even how you spell squad. Well, yeah. You're right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:09 In a way. Do we have their email addresses? We've got to get to them on this. So, that's- Wait, they got them from Margot Robbie and Will Smith? Yeah, there's like pictures of it. I could show you, but this is an audio media. Margot Robbie and Will Smith used tattoo guns.
Starting point is 00:11:24 It would seem. I mean, it might be all fake and whatever, but it seems that way. Wow. God, you'd want to think it was good, wouldn't you? The movie. Yeah. There's a lot of faith in that. Because it's hard to tell.
Starting point is 00:11:33 We'll get to this in a second. Yeah. When we get to the topic of the thing. Yeah. But I've strongly... Like, if you are in a movie... Yeah. And, like, these days especially, you're in a movie, there's a lot of green screen. You've got flippers on your hands. You're locked in a port-a-loo. You're're in a movie there's a lot of green screen you got
Starting point is 00:11:46 flippers on your hands you're locked in a portal you're there and you've got assorted other a or b list stars with you yeah and you're like i don't know if this is good or not because there's some stars here yep so they wouldn't sign on miles teller is here. Exactly. I went out of science fair for some reason, even though I'm clearly an adult. That's fantastic, Paul. But you'd be like, well, maybe it will, maybe they'll fix it in editing and the special effects will be really good.
Starting point is 00:12:16 Like it's impossible to say. It is, yeah. You're absolutely right. I mean, I think a lot of it depends on the production crew and the director. So if you're like, if you're with Spielberg, you're like, well, this isn't going to be like a 6% on Rotten Tomatoes. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:12:28 Yep. But yeah, generally, yeah, you don't really know how it's going to go. Everybody thought the first Star Wars was going to be terrible. And then everybody thought the new Star Wars, the prequels were going to be good. Life is a roller coaster, isn't it? It is. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:41 But do you remember, though, in the original Lord of the Rings, the Fellowship of the Ring, the nine of them all got little tattoos yeah that said squad ring squad i think the only one that didn't was is it john rise davies maybe the other guy's gimley he's in the anna jones i get him we'll get to him later actually will we yeah i don't think of which one well talk about that yeah um Yeah, they all got Lord of the Rings tattoos, but I don't think anybody did for The Hobbit. Nobody got The Hobbit tattoos. No, that's for the best.
Starting point is 00:13:11 So they knew. They knew what was happening. It seems that way. Yeah. Anyway, did you watch the Victor Frankenstein trailer? I did watch the Victor Frankenstein trailer. That I texted you specifically to watch? Minutes ago, yes.
Starting point is 00:13:20 What did you think? It's a bit wacky, isn't it? It is. Well, it's Max Landis. Right, okay. Who wrote The Chronicle which we talked about have we ever had
Starting point is 00:13:27 I mean I was going to say have we ever had a light hearted young Frankenstein of course Mel Brooks Mary Shelley's Frankenstein yes
Starting point is 00:13:34 so wacky have you seen that yeah it's really fucked up okay well I saw it when I was a kid so I was like this is but it seems with this
Starting point is 00:13:42 Victor Frankenstein they've taken out most of the horror and it's just kind of... It's a weird science situation more than anything else. It's a couple of dudes, and they wanted to make you form a life, and then they bloody, you know... It's like Plunkett and McLean, which I haven't seen. I was just thinking about that movie the other day.
Starting point is 00:14:05 And? I don't think it was good. I can't remember it being good. Plunkett and McLean is one of those, like, the trailer made it look like kind of hip and now. Yeah. And kind of like a Guy Ritchie film. But in watching it, it was not that. Okay, yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:17 It was just a kind of a period piece. Good cast. It just happened to have Johnny Lee Miller in it. Johnny Lee Miller was in it? I don't know. I should watch that. I shouldn't. What am I saying?
Starting point is 00:14:24 Yeah, don't. It looks better than I, Frankenstein. Yeah, and it looks was in it? I don't know. I should watch that. I shouldn't. What am I saying? Yeah, don't. It looks better than I, Frankenstein. Yeah, and it looks better than... Which I haven't seen. It looks better than Dracula reboot,
Starting point is 00:14:32 Dracula Untold. Oh, yeah. I didn't hate that. Are we still... Are they still doing the... We're going to build an Avengers of famous monsters?
Starting point is 00:14:38 Yeah, I haven't heard much about that lately. I hope so. Yeah, me too. I just want to see where it goes. Like, the last one was no good, but... Yeah. I'd see another one in a heartbeat. Yeah, me too. I just want to see where it goes. Like, the last one was no good, but I'd see another one. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:14:47 In a heartbeat. Yeah, just to be like, is it modern day now? Charles Dance? The game is on, if you recall. The game was on, yeah. Yeah. Anyway. Do you remember maybe a year ago, maybe longer?
Starting point is 00:14:58 We've been doing this nearly two years, right? Yeah. God, Jesus. What? It's been fun times. It has. Yeah. God, Jesus. What? It's been fun times. Yes, it has. Yeah. Remember that time when...
Starting point is 00:15:10 No, I can't think of anything. No, there's literally nothing. The other day, we needed a new memory card. Yes. And we got new... We were like, let's go to the supermarket and we'll get one. And he's like, you're like, here's my car. And I'm like, that's not your car.
Starting point is 00:15:22 Explain that. What happened there? Okay. I came out to go to work. Yes. And I went to start my car and it didn't work. And I'm like, I've left the door open. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:31 And the battery's drained. My battery's bloody drained. So I get to work anyway, regardless. I make it there. And I get home at night and I call the RACB, which is like the roadside assistance people. I don't know what they're called overseas. Something similar. AAA. Yeah, sure. That'll do. And he pops up pops the bonnet he's like do you want a new battery and i'm like
Starting point is 00:15:49 no just charge the old one he's like you don't have a battery in your car so somebody had got into my car opened the bonnet stolen the battery pulled out a few fuses taken the rear vision mirror and snapped the back windscreen wiper off for no reason for no reason right anyway that memory of you telling me that story off air was one of my favourite podcast moments
Starting point is 00:16:14 and if we hadn't had that if we hadn't gone out to buy a memory card I never would have heard that story that's what I'm saying yeah we've had some wild times man yeah anyway
Starting point is 00:16:24 what I was saying- Also, the time we killed that guy, we had to bury the body. Oh, yeah. Good point. Post-apocalyptic Zorro was happening. What? We spoke about this a couple of years ago. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:33 There was like a fan-made kind of- No, it wasn't fan-made. It was like a, maybe this could be a Thing trailer or whatever. Oh, yeah. So, it follows Zorro in the future. I'm assuming it's some kind of chappy-esque future. Sure. Where there's robots and whatever and oppression.
Starting point is 00:16:46 And somebody takes up the Zorro mantle to fight for freedom and justice and whatever. I think it feels more like a Total Recall reboot oppression. I think this could be good. I'm not saying it will be good. Right. Maybe I like Zorro. I like Zorro a lot. Do you think it's going to be good in the vein of Phantom 2040?
Starting point is 00:17:09 The Phantom animated series set in the future correct great awesome buddy don diego delavega yeah i didn't love the zoro movies yeah oh the first one was okay but there was a night there was an early 90s zoro tv show that i think screened here in probably like 2001 which i really enjoyed which I know wasn't good. But no, I got a lot of fondness for Zorro. But I feel like he's like a symbol and icon the same way Batman is. And a lot of Batman is based off Zorro. And I feel like- Not that much.
Starting point is 00:17:36 He wears black. He's got a mask. He's directly influenced. Yeah. And not only that, in a lot of incarnations of Batman, when he comes out of the theater, he's watching Zorro. Not always. Sometimes it's opera or whatever.
Starting point is 00:17:47 It doesn't matter. But I feel like having that Zorro be a legend and be like, oh, man, if we had a Zorro or whatever. And then a guy turns up and he's like, I'll be bloody Zorro. I think that'd be cool. I'm not saying it will be good, but I'm saying it could be. You should watch the trailer, the future trailer that they made a few years ago.
Starting point is 00:18:03 All right. Yeah. I'm going to note it down. Laser swords. Really? Laser hats. Really laser swords? trailer, the future trailer that they made a few years ago. All right. Yeah. I'm going to note it down. Laser swords. Really? Laser hats. Really laser swords? Okay, good.
Starting point is 00:18:09 Right. Okay. What kind of swords, though? Just regular swords. Huh. Maybe a- Like a katana? Like a katana.
Starting point is 00:18:16 No, you need like a nice kind of fencing sword. Where's he going to get one of those in the future, though? Did he make it? I don't know. Maybe he stumbles into Zorro's lair. I don't know. Zorro's lair. Zorro's got a lair?'s got a lair didn't you see the mask of zoro where anthony banderez anthony had to do push-ups over candles right don't you remember you're thinking of anthony hopkins
Starting point is 00:18:38 i am thinking of anthony hopkins you combine the two you combine the past and present but also past zoro's into two zoro if you want to see something funny, watch like a 70-year-old Anthony Hopkins in a Zorro outfit with like dyed brown hair, which is how that movie starts. Do you remember? Yeah, I remember. Great stuff. It's probably not a good movie, is it? So I guess in that sense, we've got precedent like in the movie world. Zorroverse.
Starting point is 00:18:59 Yeah, the Zorroverse of it's a mantle that's passed down. Yeah. Did they ever get that in like the original whatever Zorro was originally? I think Zorro was, I think, 19. A pulp novel slash radio play, one assumes. Now you're the Zorro. It was the crow of its day. Oh.
Starting point is 00:19:16 1919, I think it started, which would make him one of the first superheroes, if not the first. Then maybe someone earlier. Hmm. But you have no interest in Zorro, do you? No, I'm for Zorro. Don't you want to see him slash a Z into somebody? Someone's face?
Starting point is 00:19:31 Oh, yeah, I guess I do. Yeah. There you go. Yeah. All right. Victor Creed, played by Liv Schreiber. Yes. Who's Sabretooth, maybe appearing in Wolverine 3.
Starting point is 00:19:44 Liv Schreiber again? Yeah, potentially. Okay. I'm okay with that. Yeah, me too. I mean, I don't love that movie that he was in. Yeah, you do. X-Men Origins, Wolverine Origins.
Starting point is 00:19:54 Yeah, yeah. I do not. Okay, fine. It's probably the worst X-Men. No, it definitely is. Absolutely. Yeah, it is. Yeah, and also Berserker Raids.
Starting point is 00:20:00 Hugh Jackman did a Q&A and like, what do you want to see? And people were like, those are two of the things that were named. Sure. So cool. You cool with that? Yes. Yeah. That's it for that one.
Starting point is 00:20:10 Save it too. Somebody going to a Berserker Rage. A costume. A costume. Yeah. Good. Three things. If they're doing Old Man Logan though, they won't do a costume unless they have flashbacks.
Starting point is 00:20:20 Yeah. Well, then they could do it. You could even make a comic book accurate costume to some degree because then you'd be like look at the wacky stuff that happened in the 90s or whatever exactly or whatever yeah the x-men movies are set who knows who knows last better news christopher yost who wrote thor 3 he's writing thor 3 which is thor ragnarok and he also wrote the dark world he will write the he-man reboot oh do you have any interest in the He-Man movie? Yes.
Starting point is 00:20:46 If you had to choose between He-Man and Zorro, what would you choose? He-Man. It's outrageous. It's not outrageous. It's fairly outrageous. It's a little bit outrageous, but... Yeah. Imagine a new live-action He-Man movie.
Starting point is 00:20:57 Oh, no. Remember the old one? Yeah, I do. Holy moly, that movie. That movie made a lot of mistakes. Yeah. The biggest mistake being it took them out of Eternia. Right, okay. And put them in...
Starting point is 00:21:09 But Eternia was just a weird desert world. It was, but Eternia in the cartoon was a weird desert with vines. With vines, yeah, and like six people. Two castles and six people. Yeah. And impractical vehicles. And everybody watching everybody else on a monitor. Oh, constantly.
Starting point is 00:21:25 Yeah, there was constant 1984 style surveillance. Where were the cameras? I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. But man, I will. There's a Navy. Yeah, well, yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:34 There was that Navy. We've discussed this. We're talking about that. There was a Navy, yes. But yeah, I think, yeah, if you just make it like Thor, just make, you know, build a world. Because I really love the dark world in the sense of that it was yeah the a very masters of the universe yeah
Starting point is 00:21:46 weird alien yeah technology that was really magic and magic yeah technology I don't love that movie but I think one of the best parts
Starting point is 00:21:53 of that movie aside from Chris Hemsworth's was um no turdier bloody what's it called Stalin Skarsgård no the world
Starting point is 00:22:02 what's it called Asgard Asgard there we go I'm sick and I'm hungover. You are sick and hungover. Yeah, man. We didn't do a hungover check.
Starting point is 00:22:08 We should have done that earlier. Well, we don't do that much anymore. No. I've been keeping my brain... You're being a responsible adult on some level. On some level. No, I'm absolutely on board with that. Great.
Starting point is 00:22:17 Because it's going to be the dark world, but weirder. Exactly. Yeah. Who plays He-Man? Out of us. Yes. I like out of usder. Exactly. Yeah. Who plays He-Man? Out of us. Yes. I like out of us too. Yes.
Starting point is 00:22:27 I think we'd have to do it like a pantomime horse. Okay. Sure. Like both of us combined together would add up to one He-Man. Great. Yeah. We could probably get a few listeners to be Battle Cat. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:40 Pantomime Battle Cat. Sure. Man, I'd love to see live action Battle Cat. That's what I'm saying. There's some amazing He-Man like concept fan art of what a lot and it looks
Starting point is 00:22:48 like you could do some crazy stuff with that it's a shit show though yeah though the reboot they reboot they did a cartoon I remember that
Starting point is 00:22:55 I watched the first episode it's not bad I know I didn't see a lot of it but it's way better yeah yeah what else was I gonna say
Starting point is 00:23:01 I had a friend no he wasn't a friend I had a kid who lived so you've never had a friend never had a friend. No, he wasn't a friend. I had a kid who lived- So you've never had a friend? Never had a friend. Oh, this is sad. He lived in my street when I was a kid.
Starting point is 00:23:11 And he was one of those kids that just constantly lies. Do you know what I mean? Oh, sure, yeah. He's obviously lying, but you can't- And you catch them out and they won't break. And he told everybody that He he man lived with him like actual he man the cartoon character sure yeah not the live action version right lived with him okay and during the day he we never saw him because he man would go to work and it comes to be he man
Starting point is 00:23:39 sure okay i always imagine like a suit and tie and a briefcase yeah absolutely yeah so and So, and at first, when he first said it, I'm like, everybody calm down. I think he means like a cardboard cutout of He-Man. Right, okay. And he's like, no, I mean the actual He-Man. Wow. Yeah, he's dead. No, I don't know where he's... I can't remember his name.
Starting point is 00:23:57 Was that his biggest lie, do you think? Look, he said a lot of shit, but that's probably... I mean, how do you get bigger than... That's the best lie, certainly. It's the one I remember. All right. Was it a human version of He-Man? No, it was the animated version.
Starting point is 00:24:13 And who bought this? Nobody. Among your circle of friends. Nobody. I can't see. So this kid thought that in our world, a world that is completely devoid of animated people of any kind, that his peers would believe.
Starting point is 00:24:28 Great. There was a real, yeah. Maybe he'd just seen Roger Rabbit. I don't know. Okay. All right. This week, Mason, we were going to talk about the new Hitman movie. We did.
Starting point is 00:24:40 But then you reviewed, you saw it. Yeah. You reviewed it. And at the end you said, hey, I've got a podcast as you normally do. You play this podcast. And you said, and we talk about this stuff. And we were going to talk about this, Hitman, but maybe we won't. And I'm like, yes, off the hook. Not in the sense of like cool, like something's off the hook.
Starting point is 00:24:59 Like I'm doing a 180 Ollie burial on my Instagram or whatever. But that I'm off the hook having to watch this film. Absolutely. And people have said, hey, stop reviewing terrible movies that we probably don't want to see. Let's give everybody a break. Now's as good a week as any.
Starting point is 00:25:14 Yes. Let's bloody, yeah, let's do video games. Let's talk about movies based on video games. Quick summary, how good was Hitman Agent 47? Look, it's got like a 6 or or 7% on Rotten Tomatoes. Okay, so that's... It's not that bad though. Right.
Starting point is 00:25:27 Like it's no worse than Taken 3, which is probably like 20% or whatever. It's like that. Would you say it's like Taken 3? Is it worse insofar as they have to take some of the tropes of a video game and put them into a movie? Yeah, but that's probably the best part of it. Okay, sure.
Starting point is 00:25:45 It's kind of well done. Though there's a scene where he's escaping a facility. Yep, a government facility? Yeah, a government facility. And he puts on a uniform, like a general. And as he's walking out, an army guy goes, Oh, general, or sergeants, excuse me. And then the next scene it cuts and he's still walking out,
Starting point is 00:26:05 but he's wearing that guy's clothes. Okay, right. And I don't understand, why did you change twice? Just walk out or just kill him and keep walking? Like, what are you doing? I guess it just shows that he can change really quickly. Boy, can he. Yeah, so do you like the games?
Starting point is 00:26:21 I really liked the first few, I was not a huge fan of the the i think we've talked about hitman before but the the the last the most recent game hitman absolution is very good yeah it is the first we've talked about the there's a lot of video games that are like you can play this game any way you want you can be stealth game you can play it as an action game you can play it as a game where you talk to, charm everybody with your charming skills and do whatever. But invariably, there are always huge sections in one of those games where you cannot play it any way you want. There's a game...
Starting point is 00:26:52 You've got on your way out. Yeah, Square Enix, Hitman Absolution was produced by Square Enix. The previous game they made was Deus Ex Human Revolution, which they made the same claim. And it was a pretty good game. It was like, you can make it a stealth game you can make it an action game augmented reality yeah exactly and but there were inevitably you get to a boss battle yeah and you had to fight your way out so if you got to
Starting point is 00:27:16 that boss battle and you're like oh i spent all my upgrade points on being a charming negotiator i wish i'd bought a rocket launcher you know it's that kind of thing so you'd hit this wall but with hitman absolution you could just you could play it stealthy entire way and it wouldn't make any difference you could play it as a like a running gun battle game you could switch it up yeah it's great yeah yeah could you steal costumes yeah oh yeah good yeah yeah i should play that one uh3 or Xbox both of those previous gen sweet awesome okay so let's talk about these
Starting point is 00:27:47 how do you want to do this I thought we could go franchises okay cool like in order of kind of I've listed them here so okay great can we as we talk about these games
Starting point is 00:27:55 these movies games the movies who knows could we also talk if we're talking plot we're talking whether they're any good or not could we also talk
Starting point is 00:28:03 how they attempted to shoehorn in whatever video game premise? Absolutely. To, like, please the fans? Yes. Oh, they need a bloody whatever. Absolutely. Definitely. The first one would be good for that, actually.
Starting point is 00:28:14 So, the first video game movie. Yes. I believe, according to Wikipedia. Yes. Was Super Mario from 1993. Kicked it all off. Yeah. Boy, did it.
Starting point is 00:28:22 Set the bar, really. Yeah, boy, didn't it, though. Yeah. I had a lot of Super Mario cards, like, from that movie. Oh, like your trading cards? I think I probably have them all. I had them all. Did they come with bubble gum?
Starting point is 00:28:35 Probably, yeah. Yeah, nice. Not good, that bubble gum, was it? No. Just put another card in. Give me an extra card, mate. Did you see that in the movies? Yes, I did.
Starting point is 00:28:43 What did you think? 1993. Yeah. What did you think? Not good. Even at the time? card, mate. Did you see that in the movies? Yes, I did. What did you think? 1993. Yeah. What did you think? Not good. Even at the time? Oh, no. I'm sure I liked it at the time.
Starting point is 00:28:50 Yeah. Yeah. But it was... It's... Because I guess... Because there was a Super Mario cartoon prior to this. Yeah. And I...
Starting point is 00:28:58 You would think that they would just crank up the animation a little bit. Yes. And just do an animated movie. And then you don't have to explain anything. No. Because it's an animated universe. Exactly. You'd just be like, well, of course he's a plumber
Starting point is 00:29:11 and he goes and he fights dinosaurs. Yeah. But in this movie, because it's live action and initially set in the real world, you have to explain why he's a plumber that fights dinosaurs. That's right, yeah. And he doesn't seem to fight that many dinosaurs in the games. Like, you'll fight, like, a mushroom and a turtle and whatever,
Starting point is 00:29:28 but it's not all dinosaurs, is it? No. There are some dinosaurs. Yeah. Sometimes it's giant bullets. Sometimes. Sometimes it's ghosts. Spooky ghosts.
Starting point is 00:29:36 But they're afraid of you as well, so you don't bloody... You'll be fine? Yeah, I guess you'll be fine, yeah. Because in this movie, there are like two parallel dimensions where one dinosaur is involved into people and the other one primates our world involved into people, depending what your beliefs are. Correct.
Starting point is 00:29:52 And Mario crosses over into the dinosaur world with his brother Luigi. How do they cross throw? It's not through pipes, is it? It's like a dimensional portal or something underground. I don't really remember. But I think it's well cast. Like Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo. Sure.
Starting point is 00:30:10 A British man and a guy from bloody... Yeah, but Bob Hoskins was in bloody Roger Rabbit. Should have called him Bob Hopskins. Yeah. That's what it's hopping about. Yeah. He's dead. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:21 That sucks. So is Dennis Hopper. He's too. Super Mario Brothers curse. Watch out, John Leguizamo. What was it? Huh? dead yeah it sucks so is dennis hopper nice too mario super mario brothers curse watch out jen john leguizamo what was it huh i was gonna say what was the girl's name in that it doesn't matter it's not important so mario goes into this world and there's weird fungus okay yeah she was a thing there was fungus everywhere and it's weird it. It's like a weird Blade Runner future, sort of. It is, yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:46 They bring in his jump boots. See, that's what we're talking about. That's exactly what I'm talking about. Because, again, it's a live-action version of a video game. Yeah. You have to explain... A live-action version of a cartoon video game, essentially. You have to explain how the Mario Brothers get into this situation. Yep. And they have to explain how the mario brothers get into this situation yep and
Starting point is 00:31:06 you have to and they have to go like well what a what are the what are the fans of the video game like what do they do in this game they jump so we could have the characters jump but if we have them jump as much as a normal man like we've seen movies where people are normal men and they jump yeah so we want them to super jump so how can we contrive a scenario how high can bob hoskins jump they thought yeah not high enough there's probably some uh there's probably some blue screen you know blue screen back in the day like screen tests just like bob hoskins in in like a like a unitard with ping pong balls on it like next to like a like a x number, like a big white line on a wall with like distance markers on it.
Starting point is 00:31:50 And they're like, okay, Bob, Bob, here we go. All right, jump test number one, let's do this. And then he's just like, I ain't bloody doing this. And then he just strolls while smoking a cigarette. And they're like, all right, we'll do it with special effects. So I think some of the designs in this are quite good. Like those jump boots, they look pretty decent, don't they? Well.
Starting point is 00:32:15 Like, you know, for the time and whatever. For the time, sure, yeah. Like a weird future. Do you remember the police car in it that they steal? Yes. Hang on, I've got to show you a picture. I remember that looking really good, but I'm just going to find out whether that's true yes don't embarrass us for god's sake man that's cool like i remember seeing that as a kid and being like that's cool tell them that's pretty
Starting point is 00:32:34 it's pretty rad there you go okay so if you type in super mario bros movie police car and you'll see that uh i think the listeners could have figured that out probably yeah right i don't give them enough credit do i no I'm pretty bloody condescending. What else is in that? Remember the Goombas were giant men with little heads? Tiny heads. With little turtle heads. And I think, were they devolved into that?
Starting point is 00:32:58 Because there was a de-evolution gun. There was a de-evolution gun. Do you remember? Yeah. Which may have been a Nintendo Zapper. It was a SuperScope. It was a Super Scope. It was a Super Scope. Yes, it was.
Starting point is 00:33:08 Yeah. Which is, it's a weird conceit to have in this universe because we as a human species do not also have a de-evolution gun that we can use to turn humans into monkeys. We don't have that. Depending on what you believe. Yes, that's right. Yeah, you're right. It is. I don't, it's Depending on what you believe. Yes, that's right. Yeah, you're right. It is.
Starting point is 00:33:26 I don't... It's not good, is it? Like, it's... You know what? It's not boring, though. Oh, sure. Absolutely. Like, it's amazing to watch me like, wow, they put a lot of money into this.
Starting point is 00:33:36 Yes. Yeah. Like, compared to, like, the budget of, say, Mortal Kombat. Uh-huh. People love that movie, but that budget doesn't look like there's a lot going on there I don't know I disagree really?
Starting point is 00:33:46 yeah I guess there's a lot of CGI that would have been expensive we'll talk about that in a little bit what is interesting to note is if you do just go to like Wikipedia or whatever
Starting point is 00:33:54 and you look up lists of movies based on video games and you look at the Rotten Tomatoes score overall the highest one is 44%
Starting point is 00:34:03 which is which is? Final Fantasy The Spirits Within which isn't even really a video game movie no we'll get to that yeah we'll get to it
Starting point is 00:34:09 yeah it's a movie by a studio who couldn't afford Ben Affleck and so they made their own Ben Affleck that's what happened
Starting point is 00:34:18 that's right exactly and it's dead on it is dead on Yoshi's in it and Toad I think Toad. I think Toad's the king.
Starting point is 00:34:28 Yeah, okay. Because her dad, the daisy. There's a lot of this episode is just me going, yeah, maybe. I might be wrong. Because the fungus is the king. Right, yeah, that's right. And I'm not sure if that is, maybe that's not Toad. But Yoshi is also a little dinosaur. But like, you can't ride him.
Starting point is 00:34:46 Like, he's like this tall. That's right, yeah. But Yoshi is also a little dinosaur, but you can't ride him. He's like this tall. That's right, yeah. Do you remember? Yeah. And Yoshi exists to be ridden. Yes, that's right. And only. He's a weird part of a weird dinosaur slave race is what's happening there.
Starting point is 00:34:55 And at the end, Koopa turns into a T-Rex. Bowser. Bowser, sorry. Is Koopa in this? Maybe it's King Koopa who's in it, not King Toad. I can't remember. Because I remember that doesn't matter. No, it is King Koopa, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:35:10 It is? Yeah, it is. He's not Bowser. Do you think they should redo this? But like, do a 3D animated? Yes. Because apparently they wanted Mario for Wreck-It Ralph. But Nintendo are like, no, we want to do something with
Starting point is 00:35:26 him at some point. What do they give them instead? Did he get Donkey Kong? They do. I think they got Donkey Kong. Well, they own all the Sega characters, so there was like Sonic in it and a whole lot of Capcom and whatever. So anyway-
Starting point is 00:35:38 See, that's the thing though. I feel that now the current crop of Mario games, don't they have enough story in them that they're like little animated shows in themselves? I couldn't tell you. Okay, right. Apparently, Mario games have never faltered in terms of quality, I feel. Except for...
Starting point is 00:35:57 I'm trying to think. I don't think so. I'm sure there are bad ones. Except for Super Mario Brothers, does this look infected? Yes. Which was... Not a great one, was it?
Starting point is 00:36:04 Not a great one, ultimately. Yeah, but they've been pretty solid. And a lot of them have raised the bar in terms of what they can do. Like the first platform, the first Mario game obviously blew people away. That's still a great game. Yeah. And, you know, when it went 3D, it was kind of the first game to do 3D really well with Nintendo 64. And there's been some, you know, some Paper Mario and a lot of great ones. Yeah, exactly. And there's, you know,
Starting point is 00:36:25 there's ones that even sort of play with, that play with a lot of the tropes of the series itself. Like there's a one, I can't remember which one it is where. There's a one. Yeah, there's a one where you turn into a giant Mario and you can just plow through the level like this giant monster.
Starting point is 00:36:37 Oh yeah, that's a newish DS one. Yeah, yeah. One of the Galaxy ones, I think. But I don't know, turning it into an animated series or an animated movie, i don't know turning it into an animated series or an animated movie i don't know because surely it would feel a lot like watching somebody play a video game yeah which as we know is not a good experience that's not a good experience we got to get off
Starting point is 00:36:55 this though we got a lot to get through uh did you see double dragon in 94 yes i did at the movies what's that like oh boy well look it had, I should... I would also argue that... We won't talk about it because it's not based on a video, but I would argue that the movie The Wizard is a better Mario movie than the Super Mario Brothers movie. The Wizard is a good commercial
Starting point is 00:37:16 for Super Mario Brothers 3. Isn't it, though? Boy, was it ever. Ah, great stuff. I did see Double Dragon. Look, it was bad. Yeah. I think it was even bad at the time. Definitely did see Double Dragon. Look, it was bad. Yeah. I think it was even bad at the time.
Starting point is 00:37:28 Okay, sure. Yeah. Did they have their coloured costumes? Yeah, they did. Whose girlfriend got kidnapped? That's the story of Double Dragon. It is. I remember the opening cutscene for Double Dragon is there's a girl standing there.
Starting point is 00:37:40 She's minding her own business on the street. Yeah, and a gang member walks along and punches her in the stomach. Right in the stomach. Puts her over his shoulder and walks off. Yes. And that's how the game starts. Correct. That's pretty good.
Starting point is 00:37:50 Is that how the movie starts? Not exactly. But we do have Alyssa Milano as Marion. Oh, really? Okay. Who is the love interest, yeah. Great. No, Double Dragon, the movie, there was a mystical medallion.
Starting point is 00:38:03 There were two halves of a mystical medallion. Too much already. Yeah, I know, right? Anyway, so it gave you an assortment of vague powers. Robert Patrick was the villain. Yeah. And I think- Coming off the back of Terminator 2.
Starting point is 00:38:18 Coming off the back of Terminator 2, and they're like, how can we make him a little different? Goatee? Goatee and shock of giant blonde hair like a like a like a big pompadour blonde like a big like big like tall oh wow like a like guile not that tall but pretty i'm gonna have to check this out yeah is it good now like would you watch it now? No, I would not. Because it would have bad CGI. It would have pre-The Matrix martial arts, which in American cinema, real bad.
Starting point is 00:38:53 Like, this was five years prior to... Yeah. You're right. Yeah. Do you want to get off this one then? Yeah, okay. What did they try to shoehorn in, in this... Medallions.
Starting point is 00:39:02 No, see, there were no medallions. I guess what they tried to... Kidnapped girls? No, I think... Two dragons. try to shoehorn in in this medallions no see there were no medallions i guess what they tried to kidnapped girls uh no i think two dragons yeah kidnapped girls i guess what they tried to shoehorn there was a character there was a character in the um double dragon games a bobo he's like the giant he's like a giant monster man okay and they tried to like he there's a man who gets mutated into that kind of creature. With the medallion? Yeah. Or some kind of devolving gun. I think it was probably the medallion.
Starting point is 00:39:29 But boy, it's not good. Oh, great. Yeah. Well, speaking of not good. Okay, I'm ready. This movie's kind of amazing. Andy Dick's in this one, by the way. Is he?
Starting point is 00:39:36 Which of the double dragons is he? He's both the double dragon. No, he's a weatherman. Okay. In this movie. Great. Yeah. Let's talk about the Street Fighter movies.
Starting point is 00:39:44 Okay. Because there are two. Oh, there are two. There are two. weatherman okay this movie great yeah let's talk about the street fighter movies okay because there are two oh there are two there's um the one from 94 street fighter the movie and there's street fighter the legend of chun-li from like maybe 2000 which has what's her face from smallville in smallville face yeah and chris klein chris klein is he's like an fbi yeah and he's like this man's invisible. He walks through raindrops or something. That's right.
Starting point is 00:40:08 There's that very famous line. The original one, though, that's not a good movie, but you could watch it. Can you really? When was the last time you watched it? Oh, yeah. You're right. You could watch it. Physically speaking, you can watch it because all the copies have not been physically destroyed.
Starting point is 00:40:23 Correct. Whether they should have been or not. Yeah. Subject to some debate. Absolutely. But last time I saw it, I remember it being really kind of funny. And you know what? Raoul Julia is really good in that.
Starting point is 00:40:37 His last role. His last role. The famous character actor, Raoul Julia, international film star. He was in Gandhi, I think. He was, yeah, exactly. He was in both, I think. He was, yeah, exactly. He was in both Addams Family movies. Correct, yeah. Not in the third one. No.
Starting point is 00:40:50 Wonder why. Oh. Were they good? Yeah. The movies? I think so. I don't believe that to be true. All right, fine.
Starting point is 00:40:56 Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it gets all the kind of costumes sort of right. There's some street fighting. The question, though, is should you get video game character costumes accurate i feel is the question do they translate at all well do comic book character now when you think of street fighter who's the main character of the street fighter video games the street no it's a good question that is that is the correct answer there no it's probably ken or iu yeah i imagine yeah so who's the main character in this answer there no it's probably ken or iu yeah imagine yeah so who's the main character in this van damme jean-claude van damme is guile absolutely as american hero america yeah exactly
Starting point is 00:41:30 was that a belgian jean-claude van damme as all-american hero guile whatever his last name is um so in it so he's in the un it's not called the un it's called something else and embison allied nations i can tell you that off the top of my head and embison has his own So he's in the UN. It's not called the UN. It's called something else. And Bison has- Allied Nations. I can tell you that off the top of my head. And Bison has his own, not what's his name, planet. His own nation. Yes.
Starting point is 00:41:55 Where he plans on destroying the world using his own army that's got like Zangief and I think Vega and what does it do with the scar and the bloody eye patch? Sagat. Yeah. Do you like that game, by the way? Street Fighter. Street Fighter 2, the original. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:12 Yes, very much so. It's pretty good, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. It still holds up. I remember when I first saw that, I was like, that's amazing. But then I saw Mortal Kombat and I'm like, that's more amazing because it's real. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:23 Oh, yeah. And at the end, do you remember, nobody kind of has any powers. Yeah, that was kind of, that is a weird, yeah, okay, go ahead. Then at the end, it just goes off the wall. Yeah. Because they make Blanka. They do, yeah. Using like virtual reality and green paint.
Starting point is 00:42:43 I don't know. And then. It is very odd that nobody has any powers isn't it No no then M. Bison comes back to life Because he has a super suit And he can like fly Yeah he has a super suit Like he wears a suit of armour And it like
Starting point is 00:42:59 Yeah Guile kills him And then it resuscitates him with With like a Whatchamacallem uh defibrillator defibrillator yeah and then it turns out that his super suit has electromagnetic abilities that enable him to fly and shoot lightning out of his hands and he's like you did not expect to god yeah i remember that which shooting lightning out of his hands not a power he had in the video games although in street fight of the movie the video games. Although in Street Fighter, the movie, the video game,
Starting point is 00:43:25 he could shoot lightning out of his hands. That's true. Apparently, the arcade version of that is terrible. It is. But the home console port is quite good. Well, then I missed out, didn't I? Yes, you have. Because apparently the people at the Capcom actually did the home version one.
Starting point is 00:43:39 Right. And they fixed it. Oh, okay. But the arcade version was farmed out. Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. Because the video game, Street Fighter, the sense because the video game the street fighter the movie the video game full motion full motion because they stole the idea from mortal kombat they're like well what's yeah mortal kombat is edging up in popularity
Starting point is 00:43:54 here let's make it full motion video let's get some actors to do some they did they got was john called vandam was supposed to be johnny cage initially so that's weird that he ended up appearing in the street fighter game but anyway sorry go be Johnny Cage initially. So that's weird that he ended up appearing in the Street Fighter game. But anyway, sorry, go on. That's all I have. That's it. That's all I have there. And bloody Kylie Minogue's in it.
Starting point is 00:44:12 Australia's own Kylie Minogue. What has she done since then? She was in San Andreas. She's in San Andreas. She's in Moulin Rouge. She's the fairy. She's in a horror movie. There was like an Australian ripoff of Scream.
Starting point is 00:44:25 It was called like Stab or something. Oh, right. Okay, right. She was in a horror movie. There was like an Australian ripoff of Scream. It was called like Stab or something. Oh, right. Okay, right. She was in that. That's all we need, really. She was in Neighbours. She was in Neighbours. Yeah, good on her, mate.
Starting point is 00:44:34 She was in the bloody Australian pop charts for bloody years because she's our Kylie. You know who's also in Street Fighter? Ming-Na Wen. Is she? Who is Melinda May in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Oh, she's Chun-Li. She's Chun-Li in that. You're right.
Starting point is 00:44:44 She is. Yeah. They got all the Oh, she's Chun-Li. She's Chun-Li in that. You're right, she is. Yeah. They got all the characters, didn't they? They got bloody, what's his name? This guy with the hand. E. Honda. E. Honda, yeah. So I think he's an old...
Starting point is 00:44:54 Just imagine James doing the 100-hand punch. So fast that it looks like that. Yeah. They got... He's Hawaiian. Isn't he Hawaiian? In this... Yeah, he is, that. Yeah. They got... He's Hawaiian. Isn't he Hawaiian? In this... Yeah, he is, yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:06 Yeah. And also... I don't know. There's too many characters in this movie. Yeah. There was too many characters and they also... They do Dalsim. He's a scientist.
Starting point is 00:45:15 Yeah, but not a stretchy arm scientist. Not a stretchy arm scientist. He doesn't do anything. Because he's an explosion at the end and I thought... And he's bald and I'm like, oh my God. He's got to be stretchy at the end. But in the games, he's not stretchy because of an explosion. god he's gotta be stretchy at the end but in the games he's not stretchy because of an explosion
Starting point is 00:45:26 he's stretchy because of yoga correct he'd be aware of that because anytime he does anything he says yoga that's correct yoga's the most violent
Starting point is 00:45:33 of meditations this movie is bad for me because they didn't think ahead they weren't like we'll put in five characters yeah and then
Starting point is 00:45:42 we'll establish them yeah and we'll give them some powers at the end or whatever and then in the sequel we'll do it they're just like we'll throw in five characters and then we'll establish them. Yeah. And we'll give them some powers at the end or whatever. And then in the sequel, we'll do it. It's just like we'll throw in every character. Yeah. We'll bring in the super Street Fighter characters. T-Hawk is in it.
Starting point is 00:45:53 Is he? DJ. Okay. Cammy. Carly Minogue. Cammy, yeah, yeah. Et cetera. I remember, you know, the least memorable part of that is...
Starting point is 00:46:01 Well, obviously, why would I remember the least memorable part of this? Unless there's something wrong with my brain. Character, sorry. Ken and Ryu. Yeah. Nothing. No, exactly. I don't remember it at all.
Starting point is 00:46:09 Yeah. And I think they're both American? Probably. Yeah. Anyway. Good on it. I think Legend of Chun-Li is worse. Really?
Starting point is 00:46:20 It's way more boring. I've seen clips of it. I've seen the Dancing Through the Raindrops clip. I've seen a bit where Chris Klein has to leap out of the path of an explosion of some sort. Okay, sure. And he's like, he's really acting. Like he's really giving it his all. He is, isn't he?
Starting point is 00:46:32 He's really giving it the full Chris Klein. Keep saying Kevin Klein. I wish he was Kevin Klein. Yeah, I like Kevin Klein. So how is it worse? It's boring. It's just nothing. And it's very serious.
Starting point is 00:46:45 Yeah, okay. That is going to kill a video game movie. So how is it worse? It's boring. It's just nothing and it's very serious. Yeah, okay. That is going to kill a video game movie. Absolutely it is. Just embrace the silliness. Yeah, and it was supposed to kick off because this was Legend of Chun-Li and then they were going to do the other ones. Oh, the Legend of what? They were going to do the remaining 15 characters in there.
Starting point is 00:46:58 See, they went the opposite of the first Street Fighter. They go, we'll do them one at a time. Well, clearly my strategy isn't going to work either, so I'm sorry. No, no, I think your strategy is better. Was Chris Klein a Street Fighter character in it? I couldn't tell you. There's M. Bison's in it, who's played by the dude from Banner Brothers, and he's the voice of Bruce Banner in the Hulk TV series.
Starting point is 00:47:18 I can't remember. Okay, Christ. He's good, though, the guy. What's his name? I can't remember. But yeah, he's M. Bison, and it's boring. It's his name? I can't remember. But yeah, he's M. Bison and it's boring. It's not good.
Starting point is 00:47:26 I don't think there's any like superpowers. I think it's all grounded and whatever. I couldn't even tell you what year that came out. I think anywhere between 2007 and 2011.
Starting point is 00:47:37 2009. You were right in the middle, my friend. There you go. Neil McDonough is his name. That's it. He's great. He's also Dumb Dumb in
Starting point is 00:47:44 he's Dumb Dumb Dugan in all the various Marvel properties. You're absolutely right. Also, rare appearance from Taboo. Who's that? Taboo the Watcher from The Black Eyed Peas. Oh, really? I thought you meant like that Russian duo. Oh, Tattoo.
Starting point is 00:47:57 Tattoo, sorry. Tattoo you're thinking of. I am. You're right. Also, Moon Bloodgood. She's in this movie. She is, yeah. Who's in the worst Terminator movie. Yeah. Yeah. Also, Moon Bloodgood. She's in this movie. She is, yeah. Who's in the worst Terminator movie.
Starting point is 00:48:06 Yeah. Yeah. Mortal Kombat had movies, didn't it? Yeah. Wait. Hang on. Chris Klein is Charlie Nash. Is he a character?
Starting point is 00:48:15 Nash is the precursor to Guile. Okay. So they were both like military guys. Nash is in some of the... I think he's in... I think he's in Street Fighter EX or Street Fighter 4 or Street Fighter 3. He's in one of those. Street Fighter 3 Super Edition.
Starting point is 00:48:28 For whatever reason, they're like, we won't have Guile in this one. We'll have Nash. Why are they so reluctant to number the Street Fighter games? Like, to just be like... They're still on four, aren't they? They might be up to five. I don't know if they... You know what?
Starting point is 00:48:40 You're probably right. And then you've got your bloody Tekken crossovers and your Super Deluxe versions. You're right, you're right. Why are they so... I don't know. That is a good question. I think maybe it's fighting game aficionados' reluctance to... Because, you know, some people are still just like,
Starting point is 00:48:56 I only play Street Fighter 2. Purists. We're going to do a tournament to see who is, in 2015, who is the best Street Fighter 2 player. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Absolutely. So I guess maybe that's it.
Starting point is 00:49:06 Turbo edition or just regular Street Fighter? Just regular Street Fighter. Okay, look. Super Street Fighter? No. Okay. There'll be separate versions for Turbo, all right? I'm just looking up Street Fighter 5 to see if it's a thing.
Starting point is 00:49:16 Street Fighter 4 is Street Fighter 2. They're the same game. Yeah. It's not out yet, apparently. Bloody told you. The first article is, Australians get shafted with this weekend's Street Fighter V beta. Wow.
Starting point is 00:49:30 I don't care for that. No, sir. That's a very Australian headline, isn't it? Bloody Australians get shafted, mate. Mortal Kombat. Yeah, I'm ready. I'm not talking about the web series, which is hit and miss. I know people love it.
Starting point is 00:49:43 Some are good, some are dumb. You know what I didn't like about this? And we've talked about this before. I didn't like the fact that the initial, you know, there was that sort of proof of concept version. That was real. That was so real. That was Legend of Chun-Li real.
Starting point is 00:49:56 That was so real, man, but good. And then in the web series, they're like, let's add magic back in. You know what I mean? You didn't care for that? No. Did you like any of that web series? I liked the Ra one i didn't like the raiden one we've had this discussion we've had this discussion we've literally just copied and pasted this you've copied and pasted
Starting point is 00:50:14 this from the previous episode yeah episode 33 episode we're in now episode 33 you've just copied and pasted it i as i knew you would in the future when we did an episode on video games that have been turned after hitman turns out to be not good there we go uh yeah but the movies people still say that the first model combat is the best i agree you think it's better than prince of persia oh of all time i think of the two of the two combat movies the best combat movie look i think one definitely does not take itself very seriously in a good way. Yes.
Starting point is 00:50:49 Especially since we've got Christopher Lambert as Raiden. I think he's great in that. I don't think so. That's the end. That's the end, yeah. That's great. So good. You know what?
Starting point is 00:50:58 The Goro is pretty good. The Goro's solid. Solid Goro. That's two men stacked on each other. Yeah, it is. In that style. What else is in that? They go into the netherworld and whatever.
Starting point is 00:51:08 They made the Mortal Kombat universe. They did, yeah. Like, there's an international, well, an interdimensional tournament. Yep. It's probably also international. Sure. Short stretches. And, you know, they got to go in and, what is it?
Starting point is 00:51:21 And the main character's Liu Kang. Yep. And he has to avenge his brother who got beaten by Shang Tsung. Correct. It's all there. It's all there, mate. Yeah. It's great.
Starting point is 00:51:30 Yeah. Sub-Zero and Scorpion are in it. And whenever a character appears, it's like, Sub-Zero. Yeah. I don't know who's saying that, but it happens every... True to the movie. Correct. True to the game, sorry.
Starting point is 00:51:43 Were you a Street Fighter or a Mortal Kombat guy do I have to choose why do I have to choose you don't have to choose good I'm gonna pick I was I liked Mortal Kombat more
Starting point is 00:51:51 I'm better at Mortal Kombat I'm not good at street fighter my first experience with Mortal Kombat is I went to one of those lock-in sessions at a like a video game arcade
Starting point is 00:51:58 when they were still a thing like a man's house you didn't know that well correct go on and they had Mortal Kombat up on like they built their own they had Mortal Kombat up on,
Starting point is 00:52:05 like they built their own, they had a big screen, like a huge screen. Yeah. And I'm like, this game has blood in it. Like there's so much blood happening here. What's going on?
Starting point is 00:52:16 And then you just slit the kid's throat next to you. Just to see what it's like in real life. And I'm just watching this game and this guy's like playing it and then it gets to finish him and he's playing Raiden. He just zaps the opponent with electricity and the guy's head explodes it and then it gets to finish him and he's playing Raiden and he just zaps the opponent with electricity and the guy's head explodes
Starting point is 00:52:28 and I'm like what is happening here? Should I be here? Mortal Kombat the movie is surprisingly bloodless when you It is isn't it? It's probably PG
Starting point is 00:52:37 I guess I'd imagine so yeah I think there's a few neck snaps or something but there's no fatalities is there fatalities is there?
Starting point is 00:52:45 Look Sub-Zero turns somebody to ice and then smashes them, if I recall. Yeah, that's pretty bloodless. Yeah. Interesting. What do you think of the costumes? I'm going to say they were great at the time, but who knows? They're pretty accurate, aren't they? Does Jax have metal arms?
Starting point is 00:53:02 No, he's not in the first one. Oh, he's in two. He's in two, and at some point he does have metal arms no he's not in the first one oh he's in two he's in two and at some point he does have metal arms and then he realises that he believes in himself
Starting point is 00:53:10 and then he doesn't need the metal arms anymore that is not true to the character of Jax correct maybe he you know what maybe he is in
Starting point is 00:53:18 I'm gonna go back I think he's in a supporting role you're probably right yeah and then he gets the metal arms because Kano is Sonya Blade's nemesis. And they have to end up fighting or whatever. And you know what?
Starting point is 00:53:30 And there's magic. Like Liu Kang suddenly realizes he can do magic. Yes. What else happens? Johnny Cage punches Goro in the balls. That's what I'm talking about. We need... But here's the thing, though.
Starting point is 00:53:43 In the video game, you can't punch Goro in the balls. It doesn't work. Why not? That just doesn't work. That's outrageous. In the Mortal Kombat game, Johnny Cage has... One of his special moves is he goes down in the splits
Starting point is 00:53:55 and he punches his opponent in the balls and it hurts him. But it doesn't work on Goro and it doesn't work on Sonya. Really? Yeah, it doesn't work. You just cannot do it. You don't even go into the move and they block it.
Starting point is 00:54:07 No, you do the move, but nothing happens. Interesting. And let me tell you- Is Goro a woman? No, there's a girl version of Goro. Gorett. Gorett. There is two.
Starting point is 00:54:17 What's her- I can't remember her name. Anyway, it doesn't matter. Yeah. Goro's a good guy now. Is that right? Must be. Who knows? He's just a lovable, he's a lovable big galoot.
Starting point is 00:54:26 Do you remember, I think, was it in two or three where there's a Goro, but he's like a tiger? There's a, there was Mortaro in three. He was like a centaur. Okay. No, no, there is definitely like a tiger kind of Goro. Okay. I'll take your word for it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:44 Jax is in the first, Jax is in the first one. And yeah, in the second one, he gets his robot arms. Excellent. Now, the first Mortal Kombat movie ends with, not Shang Tsung, who appears? Shao Kahn.
Starting point is 00:54:56 Shao Kahn appears. In the sky. Yeah, he's like 100 feet tall and he's like, it's time to die or whatever. I'm here to destroy your world. And then Raiden does his classic he goes i don't think so and then they all strike a pose they all strike a kung fu pose
Starting point is 00:55:10 and we're like yes what what were they gonna do they were gonna leap into the sky and punch his imaginary face i guess oh so that was like a hologram he wasn't really i feel it was a hologram yes oh man i've just read that movie completely wrong. I know, right? Does the second movie... I don't think I've seen the second movie, not fully at least. They replace Raiden, don't they? Yes, they do.
Starting point is 00:55:32 Yeah. Which for me was the death knell for that movie, I feel. Absolutely. Does it pick up... Because Lambert is clearly not paying... He's not taking it seriously at all. Does two pick up directly after one, where Shang Tsung's in the sky? And then they're like, I don't think so. Yeah, it does, yeah. Does two pick up directly after one where Shang Tsung's in the sky
Starting point is 00:55:45 and then they're like I don't think so. Yeah, it does, yeah. Wow. Yeah, exactly because Khan shows up immediately and it just kills Johnny Cage
Starting point is 00:55:52 straight up like in the opening scene. Sweet. Here's the thing in, you were saying who, Christopher Lambert isn't Raiden
Starting point is 00:56:00 he's replaced with James Remus who you might recall is The Warriors. Yes, I was going to say Dexter's dad. He's insects in the Remar. Yes. Who you might recall is... The Warriors. Yes. I was going to say... Dexter's dad.
Starting point is 00:56:06 He's in Sex and the City. That's what I was going to say. He's somebody's boyfriend in Sex and the City. Samantha's boyfriend in Sex and the City. Correct. That's what you know him from. Yeah. Not Dexter's dad.
Starting point is 00:56:17 No. I gave up on Dexter. Not the original Hicks from Aliens. Oh, yeah. It was original Hicks. He got kicked off a drug addiction or some shit. I don't know. We're still in the 90s, man. Jesus. Oh, yeah. It was original hits. He got kicked off a drug addiction or some shit. I don't know. We're still in the 90s, man.
Starting point is 00:56:26 Jesus. Mortal Kombat movies, the first one, it's pretty good, right? Sure, yeah. It's a pretty good... Do you remember when Reptile turns up and he's an actual CGI lizard that he morphs into a man? Yeah. Pretty good, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:56:40 And for me, look, you know, I made that bold proclamation about the Street Fighter movies earlier, minutes ago, where I said they should have introduced some characters in the first one and then more in the second one. They did this in Mortal Kombat Annihilation and it didn't work. So we got robot ninjas. We got Nightwolf. We got some Cyrax.
Starting point is 00:56:59 Yeah, we got Cyrax. We got Rain, I think. Which Scorpion is he? What colour is he? Is he one of those? Which one? You know how there's like eight different ninjas? Right.
Starting point is 00:57:10 Is Rain one of them? Rain is... Because there's smoke. Smoke is grey. Reptile is grey. Noob Saibot is red. Isn't Noob Saibot Sub-Zero? One of the Sub-Zeros?
Starting point is 00:57:22 Maybe. Because one of the... Let's not get into the Mortal Kombat mythology. No, but one of the robots is the original Sub-Zero. And of the Sub-Zeros? Maybe. Because one of the... Let's not get into the Mortal Kombat mythology. No, but one of the robots is the original Sub-Zero, and I can't remember which one. Maybe. Yeah, anyway, go on. That may be completely wrong, though. Yeah, I know.
Starting point is 00:57:34 Because there were two Sub-Zeros. Look, it doesn't matter. No, I want to know. Tell me. There were two Sub-Zeros. Yes. That's all I've got. And one of them died, and the brother takes on...
Starting point is 00:57:44 Right. But also, the Sub-Zero that Scorpion wants revenge on isn't either of the Sub-Zeros. Yes. It was actually somebody masquerading as him. It was Quan Chi. It was Quan Chi masquerading as him to kill his family. And we've talked about this before, but because Sub-Zero sort of became the default most famous character from the mortal kombat games yeah they're like well let's not make him a a child and a family murderer let's make him a good guy so they retconned it so he wasn't a murderer anymore sorry uh sub-zero the original sub-zero became lk520 then tundra then cyber
Starting point is 00:58:19 sub-zero all right i don't know whether it's that order but that's how that worked probably yeah oh he became Tundra well la-di-da I think because they retconned in Mortal Kombat 9 they retconned they retconned Sub-Zero the original Sub-Zero
Starting point is 00:58:33 became Cyber Sub-Zero oh okay right that's a good game man yeah Jesus okay why are there 9 there are 10 now right I think so yeah
Starting point is 00:58:41 and there's also wait is 8 versus DC or does that not count? I don't think it counts. All right. I like that game. Also, isn't there a Mortal Kombat, the movie, the video game? I bet there bloody is.
Starting point is 00:58:51 You're probably right. I couldn't tell you. I'll look for it later. All right. While you're looking for it later, did you see Wing Commander? Yes, I did. The Freddie Prinze Jr. Isn't that garbage?
Starting point is 00:58:59 It's pretty garbage. Isn't it like a weird Star Wars knockoff? It is a weird Star Wars knockoff. And the cutscenes from the game are really good? Yeah, that's exactly
Starting point is 00:59:08 what I was going to say. The Wing Commander 3, I think, had Mark Hamill and a number of other people in...
Starting point is 00:59:16 Sequenced DSV's own Mark Hamill. Correct. It was like you had a high quality video game and you had some
Starting point is 00:59:24 high quality... This is when full motion video in games was full swing. Yeah. Before people It was like you had a high-quality video game and you had some high-quality. This is when full-motion video in games was full swing before people realized it was a bad idea. And that was quite good. And then people were like, oh, Wing Commander movie. And I'm like, bring back Mark Hamill. He's great. Why wouldn't you?
Starting point is 00:59:39 They didn't, though. They brought back Freddie Prinze Jr. Freddie Prinze Jr. And the guy from Scream. What's his name? Matt something? Matthew Lillard? Yes.
Starting point is 00:59:49 Huh. I think he's in it. He appears in another movie we're going to talk about later. Street Fighter. No. All right. It's balls, right? Yeah, it's balls.
Starting point is 00:59:57 That's it? Yeah. What are the tropes from the game that carry over? The wing commanding? Boy, it's been a really long time since i've seen this one you don't know do you hang on i remember when that came out i was like i really want to see that because it was around when they kind of re-released star wars and i just never ended up seeing it yeah bloody matthew lillard is in it there you go yeah he's great in some things and not in other things poirot is in it as well the guy who plays poirot sure anything else now let's give it good let's
Starting point is 01:00:32 go to the tomb raider movies the two right here's the thing i don't know which this this is a very common trope i had a conversation with somebody the other day about the tomb raider movies yeah no one knows which of the two they've seen. No one. Okay. I know I've seen two because I haven't seen one. And I only remember- But have you? No, I remember because I went with you.
Starting point is 01:00:53 Okay. And we said, because we used to see like a movie every week. Right. Like no matter what it was. Yes. We don't do that now. No, because- Despite having a movie podcast, we don't do it.
Starting point is 01:01:02 But I remember we said, we had the conversation, let's go see Tomb Raider, how bad could it be? And it was the second one. Okay. And it was garbage. If you say so, but I have no memory of that. So which one have you seen, do you think? I think I've seen the first one.
Starting point is 01:01:19 But here's my thing. What I'm saying is these movies are so samey. Yeah. Who knows? First one made a lot of money, didn't it? It's difficult to say whether you've seen either of them or you've just seen the trailer for one or both of them, right? The second one is the one, The Cradle of Life,
Starting point is 01:01:36 where she goes to open Pandora's box at the end. That's right. And I think Gerard Butler's in it. Okay, great. But I don't know that for a fact. People liked the first one at the time, I remember. And Angelina Jolie made a lot of money and that kind of put her on the map. Yes.
Starting point is 01:01:49 In a lot of ways. Because I think she'd done Hackers before that. Maybe Girl Interrupted around that time. I don't know. Yeah, Rimmer's in it. What's his name? Chris Barry. Chris Barry, my love.
Starting point is 01:02:01 As a very uptight butler. Yeah. As a very uptight. These movies were, I hated it because she's good at everything. Yeah. And she's just, you know, unpleasant. These movies are unpleasant. Do you like the Tomb Raider reboot game?
Starting point is 01:02:15 Yes, I do. It's really good. It's definitely the best Tomb Raider game. And best Tomb Raider movie. Yeah, it is. Two guns? They do that? Yeah, they do.
Starting point is 01:02:23 She's got some two guns. Yeah. Isn't there a scene where she paraglides into the back of a jeep out of nowhere yes or maybe that's the sequel see i don't know no one bloody knows yeah there's a scene where she fights it's right at the start where she fights a robot i was gonna say does she fight a robot one of them i didn't imagine that in the first no in the first one she is in a tomb right raiding she's raiding a tomb she's attacked by a robot and she shoots at it with her two guns or whatever she
Starting point is 01:02:51 rips out at circus she destroys this robot right and then she's actually she's not in an egyptian tomb she's in her house she's in her mansion and that was just a practice run where he don't tell me it's a virtual reality world no it's a real world she's built a mansion, and that was just a practice run. Don't tell me it's a virtual reality world. No, it's a real world. She's built a robot that she habitually destroys, apparently. Which is very rich. Yeah, I guess so. From all the tomb raiding. Precisely.
Starting point is 01:03:17 Yeah. And the robot was built by Noah Taylor. Oh, Noah Taylor. Noah Taylor's in this movie. The problem with this movie is these movies. Which one? It doesn't matter. The problem is that nobody else ever has anything to do.
Starting point is 01:03:30 Like I said, because she's the best at everything. Yeah. You would think that Noah Taylor as this, like the geeky assistant or Chris Barry as the butler. I think you could merge them. Yeah, probably. You don't need a butler. Geeky butler.
Starting point is 01:03:40 Yeah, why not? Yeah, exactly. Like an Alfred. Precisely. But they never get anything to do. You think, oh, these are name actors to a degree. They'll get a cool scene for themselves. They never do.
Starting point is 01:03:51 Okay. Garbage. I like Chris Barry. I know. And Noah Taylor. Yeah. Australia's own Noah Taylor. Yeah, he's good, man.
Starting point is 01:03:58 I don't know. Tomb Raider, whatever, I guess. Right? A lot of these are just us being exhausted, I feel. Final Fantasy we made it yep what do you think
Starting point is 01:04:07 the highest rated movie in this list that's wrong and it's not it's not a video game movie I mean in the sense that all the Final Fantasy
Starting point is 01:04:16 movies more or less take place in different universes even like all the remakes of 7 and spin-offs of 7
Starting point is 01:04:24 they all take place in the same universe. You bloody son of a bitch. People need to get over that game. Like, why do they keep remaking it? Maybe because I never played it at the time. Well, it was the first... I think it was kind of the first one to hit the mainstream in the US. And it had that real emotional moment at the end, didn't it?
Starting point is 01:04:39 That like blew people away. Spoiler alert for that game. Whoever the girl is in that, let's say her name is Final Fantasy VII. Aeris. Aeris. Gets stabbed by Sephiroth? Correct.
Starting point is 01:04:50 Okay. You nearly got that one correct, so I'll give it to you. Thanks. Yeah. And that was like a big kind of, people were like, oh my God,
Starting point is 01:04:58 video games have emotions, despite having some excellent Mark Hamill FMV. Yeah, in Wing Commander 3. Yeah. And whatever game Bruce Willis did, where in Wing Commander 3. Thank you, yeah. And whatever game Bruce Willis did where he's a cop. Do you remember that one?
Starting point is 01:05:10 There's a Bruce Willis Seeger. I think it's a Seeger Saturn game. I do remember that game, but I couldn't tell you what it's called or anything about it. Yeah. Yeah, I do remember that. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:20 God, was he hard up for a buck all of a sudden? I think he'd just done Hudson Hawk. Oh, right. Well, then he's here. Good, yeah. Anyway, Final Fantasy. Anyway, Final Fantasy, another video game to movie translation featuring ming na wen she's also in this also alec baldwin as ben affleck is in this alec baldwin voices ben affleck yeah correct and both of them played bloody jack bloody submarine get on a submarine stop the terrorists jack Jack Ryan. Yes.
Starting point is 01:05:45 Thank you. You knew that from the start, didn't you? Yes, I did. Yes, I did. People were like, this has got to revolutionize movies because they're like, you can just CGI an actor now. Anyone you want. If you can't afford Ben Affleck, just make him.
Starting point is 01:06:00 Just make him. Yeah. Does it hold up, the graphics computer graphics that's a good question excuse me it's i think if you go into it of expecting a sort of a surreal experience just kind of what you get that's it but you're not going to be like like if you look at you know the hulk in the avengers yeah he's got great hair he does. He's got, you know, he's got good textures. Yeah. They're not as great. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:27 This movie. Okay. Now. Although Ming-Na Wen's character did make it into the Maxim Hot, Hottest 100 Women of that year, I believe. Creepy, right? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:39 Something about trees? Or ghost aliens? Ghost aliens in nature. And we chopped down all the trees and i don't know i don't want the place now the next one oh yeah no earth was invaded by these fans that were ghosts or whatever yeah they were don't go through them or something yeah but if you if they touch you they kill you yeah if they go like they pass through they kill you but if they touch you you sort of get if they go like they pass through they kill you but if they touch you you sort of get infected
Starting point is 01:07:06 somehow so how are you safe? they were building they had an energy shield okay but then it look I don't know I'd love that to be in the movie
Starting point is 01:07:19 look we built an energy shield I don't know look we could do the Resident Evil movies. Hang on. I'm just going to go through the wiki and I'm going to find out how they defeated the phantoms in the end. I reckon it was probably love, if I had to guess. You had to, yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:35 They gather eight spirits and they give them to Gaia and the phantoms ascend into space. Quick question. I'm ready. The mother of Earth, Gaia. I think it was an alien Gaia. You know what happened? The spirit of an alien world crashed into the spirit of Earth. Okay.
Starting point is 01:07:52 That's what happened in that movie, if I recall. Was it evil? No, it was just wanting to get home. Although it did kill a lot of people, so. So, yes. Yeah, I guess, yeah. Great. Yep.
Starting point is 01:08:01 Very good. Well, that doesn't sound good. Yeah. And there weren't any bloody chocobos i don't know that is they're like they're weird chicken imagine a horse but it's a chicken and you ride sounds like a racist caricature yeah that's what it sounds like but there were no yeah there were there were no final fantasy tropes in this movie i don't like those games how dare you i just don't think they're very good the newer ones isn't it all just
Starting point is 01:08:25 running down different corridors and hit points and turn-based nonsense and big swords there's not that many corridors but it feels like you're in a corridor right okay yeah i don't know a party of heroes averts impending global holocaust by drawing on their individual skills gaining knowledge through challenges and emerging victorius with newfound love and respect for themselves and their companions is that any of the games or the movie that is no that is that drawing on their individual skills, gaining knowledge through challenges, and emerging Victorians with newfound love and respect for themselves and their companions. Is that any of the games or the movie? No, that is the longest bow you'll ever see for saying that this video game
Starting point is 01:08:53 is in any way like the movies. Okay, sure. Resident Evil, right? Yes. I think we could do an episode on those alone. Yeah, okay. So maybe let's leave that one. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:03 All right. They stand alone. Like, not well, certainly. Yeah, but they do stand you're right they're a friend they're a franchise that's held up yeah not quality wise but financially they keep making them they keep making them for some reason because it's some sort of easy tax dodge or something they make money though yeah yeah and as we've said before there's always one element in that that is fun and exciting. And when the new one comes out, you go, hey, remember in the last one, they crashed a biplane into a sea full of zombies? I remember that.
Starting point is 01:09:33 Remember that? Yeah. Remember the one time, I always say this, when she scissor kicks a rubber dog? Scissor kicks a rubber dog. Exactly. So that's what they've got going for them. But we'll talk about it another time. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:41 Well, I think there's a new one coming out. It's called like the final chapter or something okay sure yeah okay here's a quiz for you i'm ready question what do these movies have in common blood rain house of the dead alone in the dark postal over ball correct yes i haven't seen any of these i've seen some of them i just think he's just the biggest fuckwit, bigoted piece of shit. Yep. Con man asshole, like on the planet. Like, I just think he's just a bad guy. Like all around.
Starting point is 01:10:11 Yeah. They're all bad. Yeah. Definitely. No, I'm talking him. Oh yeah, no. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:17 Yeah. Yeah. Cause we were talking before about how with a, you know, with a modern movie, you might have, you're an actor and they say, hey, why don't you do this movie? And you show up and it's green screens and you're in a costume and the script is kind of weird and you see other... So you're like, is this going to be good or not? Sure. In the Name of the King
Starting point is 01:10:34 I think is probably a perfect example of that. Statham's in it, isn't he? Jason Statham is in it. We've got John Rhys Davies he's in it. Great. We've got Matthew Lillard he's in it. Wait, is this a video game movie? Yeah, it's In the Name of the King. It was based on Dungeon Siege. No shit.
Starting point is 01:10:50 Loosely based. I didn't know that. Yeah, Dungeon Siege. There you go. But anyway, he's... Yeah, so Statham shows up, right? They're like, hey, do you want to do this movie? It's in the vein of Lord of the Rings.
Starting point is 01:11:01 And it is because it's a clear ripoff of Lord of the Rings. You've got characters that... You've got a character that looks like- Do they all get tattoos? I hope so. Oh, God, I hope so. That'd be so great. And then they get them on the day of the premiere, and then they show up to the premiere. There's the photo call, and they're like, hey, we all get the tattoos.
Starting point is 01:11:16 And then they go in, and they're like, oh, we've made a terrible mistake. So we've got Matthew Lillip. We've got Ron Perlman is in this movie. We got Lili Sobieski is in it. Claire Forlani is in it. She was in Men in Black 1. She was the love interest in Men in Black 1. Oh, right.
Starting point is 01:11:34 Yeah, she's good. Ray Liotta is in this movie. Yeah, she hates Kevin Smith. Oh, why is that? I don't know. They work together on Dogma. Oh, that makes sense. I like Dogma.
Starting point is 01:11:42 Yeah. Kristana Lurken is in this as well in a terminator 3 zone yeah and and blood rain zone yeah so in in in the name of the king we've got so this one has basically has no tropes of dungeon siege yeah they're not even really what's dungeon siege about The video games. Yeah. Hang on. Edit point. Edit point.
Starting point is 01:12:11 It's a role-playing game. Oh, and I'm sorry for saying Final Fantasy is bad games. I'm sure they're fine. You're in so much trouble. They're just not my cup of tea. What is it? Well, Dungeon Siege is like your classic role-playing game. You get your team a bloody... Imagine Diablo, but more role-playing game you get a team you get your team a bloody it's imagine diablo but more role-playing oh it's a bit like that even more yeah but this this movie
Starting point is 01:12:30 you've got uh you'd think there'd be like tropes from uh from the video game in it so you've got jason statham is a farmer he's aptly named farmer and as as a farmer what do you think his weapon of choice would be i can tell you a shovel keep keep guessing a broom it's a boomerang you were very close but his weapon of choice is a boomerang uh where is this set like medieval england no man like a medieval like a vague medieval universe the kingdom of ebb i think is the name okay so so it's like it's not earth essentially uh-huh so i guess he could have a boomerang yeah like the game there's no no no unless there's a scene that i didn't recall where there's boomerangs boomerangs aren't you throw them once and if you hit something with it it doesn't come back people don't seem
Starting point is 01:13:23 to understand that about boomerangs. Right. Let me tell you, in this, he does hit some people with a boomerang and it comes right back. Wow. Yeah, there you go. I mean, Batman can do it, can't he? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:33 Sometimes. I like it when he just like shurikens people with little, they just stick at him, stick at him, whatever. Yeah. What else happens in that? In the movie. Yeah. All of these.
Starting point is 01:13:46 House of the Dead, Postal. Look, in the name of the king, it's very much the... You've got your orc characters, but they're not called orcs. They're like... Is there like prosthetics? Yeah, but they're not great. Hmm. Yeah. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:14:01 Is Ron Perlman an orc? No, Ron Perlman is a fellow farmer. What's his weapon? I shudder too. I think it's a rake. I think, yeah, so. That makes sense, I guess. I don't know, like Blood Rain, House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark.
Starting point is 01:14:18 Some of them have Christian Slater or one of them have, I don't know. Alone in the Dark, I believe, has a 1% rating. That's pretty incredible. That's exciting, right? That's very exciting. No, I don't know. Alone in the Dark, I believe, has a 1% rating. That's pretty incredible. That's exciting, right? That's very exciting. No, I don't support this guy in any way. I don't even, I just think he's, I don't like, I've said my piece. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:14:35 I just think he's just the worst type of person. Right. Yeah. I feel they're entertaining on a certain level. Sure. I feel you should, everybody should watch at least one. They're entertaining, I guess, from when you think about that everybody had to turn up and do this like all the behind the scenes they'd have to sit down between takes and have lunch together and yep read through the scripts
Starting point is 01:14:55 and do whatever else happens on movies good lord do you want to talk about any of those other ones nah good doom yes not a lot of tropes carry over from that well there's one in particular that does yeah the alien in the wheelchair monster sure yeah there's a first-person say yeah they were like okay this is based on a video game yes we were at the time people going fans are really enjoying this they're enjoying this scene that really brings them into... I didn't enjoy it at all. No, I was a huge fan of Doom.
Starting point is 01:15:28 I bloody loved it. Well, and also in the original Doom and the second one, and maybe not the third one, though, I can't remember. I don't think I've played it. They go to hell. It's a portal to hell. Yeah. But in this one, it's a portal to Mars.
Starting point is 01:15:41 Correct. Is that right? Yeah. And it's a virus? Oh, boy. That is a good...? Yeah. And it's a virus? Oh boy. That is a good... I'm fairly certain it's a virus. And if you're good, if you're a good person, you get superpowers.
Starting point is 01:15:51 Right. Like The Rock. No, he's bad. Oh, he is too. Carl Urban's the good guy. That is amazing. And you know how else is in that? We've talked about how Dwayne The Rock Johnson is never a bad guy.
Starting point is 01:16:01 I've completely forgotten he's the villain in this. There you go. Yeah. And also in... So Carl Urban's in it,'ve completely forgotten he's the villain in this. There you go. Yeah. And also in... So, Carl Urban's in it, but also Rosamund Pike's in it. That's right. Yeah. And Dexter from...
Starting point is 01:16:13 From Press Gang. From Press... Who I saw once... Oh, yes. ...at a Camden market. Uh-huh. And I didn't say anything. Great.
Starting point is 01:16:20 I would have been like, oh, my God. Dexter Fletcher. What's your real accent? Sorry. Dexter Fletcher, British actor, who most people probably remember as being soap in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. But we know him best as being in Press Gang,
Starting point is 01:16:33 which is a British children's TV series about junior cub reporters. And he's American in that. Yeah. Yeah. I put that on like, do you remember Ghostwriter, the TV series? I put them on the same level you remember Ghostwriter the TV series I put them on the same level
Starting point is 01:16:46 not Ghostwriter I didn't misspeak it's Ghostwriter yeah yeah Doom I saw a bit of it the other day it's not the worst
Starting point is 01:16:55 it's not the worst it's just like it's that's a common theme through a lot of these movies they're not the worst that's as best as you can expect but then again
Starting point is 01:17:04 a lot of them are a lot of these movies. They're not the worst. That's as best as you can expect. But then again, a lot of them are. A lot of them are the worst. Yes. So, I don't know. What is it? What do we say about it? I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:17:19 I don't remember. It's fine? Is it accurate? I don't understand why they didn't just go because the the video games you're on one of mars's moons yep you're there you're investigating a thing yep then it turns out the soldiers have been possessed by demons or whatever yeah or they're zombie monster men yep and then there are demons, and then it turns out there's a portal to hell. They've accidentally opened a portal to hell.
Starting point is 01:17:48 Yep. Why couldn't they have just done that? Yeah, well, exactly. Why mess with that? Why not? Is it a religious right kind of thing? I cannot remember. I thought it was a virus.
Starting point is 01:18:00 No, I mean... Oh, what? I mean, did they not make them demons because it's a religious right thing in America? Well, they made Event Horizon and that is they literally open a portal to hell or the ship goes to hell. Right, right, right.
Starting point is 01:18:11 Just make that. Just tone it down a little bit because there's some stuff in that that's pretty messed up. Yeah. It's a good movie. No, you know. It's good enough.
Starting point is 01:18:22 Yeah, I don't know. Maybe. Why can't you do a portal to hell? I guess you can't sell that though as well, can you maybe why can't you do a portal to hell I guess you can't sell that though as well can you be like are they open to
Starting point is 01:18:28 portal to hell like people would be like no not watching that yeah I guess maybe the idea being that but again they did it in event horizon
Starting point is 01:18:37 if it's like we're in space and there's a portal to hell people like too much information if it was on earth portal to hell fine if it was in space and they just
Starting point is 01:18:45 hang out in space also fine what's ghosts of mars what's that about is ice cube in that i don't know what a world hey yeah what a world it's the silent hill. Quite like the first one. I agree. Yeah. It's pretty accurate. I think so, yeah. That vibe is right. Absolutely. It's creepy.
Starting point is 01:19:14 There's Triangle Face. Yeah, Triangle, yeah. Famous monster Triangle Face. There's a bit where he de-skins a woman. Oh, that's right. Like, tears her skin off. Yeah. Sean Bean's in it. Sean Bean is in it.
Starting point is 01:19:26 Radha Mitchell's in it. The Australian actress. Boy. Is it Radha Mitchell? Is that her name? Nah. Maybe we should have done some research. Nah.
Starting point is 01:19:38 I'm just going to... Silent Hill. Radha Mitchell is in it. Yeah, all right. Okay. Apparently the sequel's terrible. Like really, really bad. Haven't seen it. Jon Snow is in it. Yeah, all right. Yeah, okay. Apparently the sequel's terrible. Like, really, really bad. Haven't seen it.
Starting point is 01:19:47 Jon Snow's in it. The actor. Right. Kit Harington. No, no, Jon Snow. The character. They're like, we don't know about this Game of Thrones series.
Starting point is 01:19:56 We don't know if we'll make it or not. Let's do a soft cross-promotion here. We'll just introduce one of the characters into the modern era. Yeah, he'll do. And see what happens. See if people like him and people really liked
Starting point is 01:20:06 him people liked it so the story of Silent Hill there's a weird kind of cult ghost town yeah where they're trapped in this weird dimension by
Starting point is 01:20:14 this telepathic girl yes because they tortured her well and basically the Sean Bean and Ryder Mitchell have a kid and the kids are
Starting point is 01:20:22 all like I like Silent Hill Silent Hill so they take her to Silent Hill yeah and then basically she have a kid and the kids are all like, I like Silent Hill, Silent Hill. So they take her to Silent Hill. Yeah. And then basically... She's a reincarnation or something? Or she's being called by the spirit? Maybe. Of Silent Hill?
Starting point is 01:20:33 Probably all of those things. But then Ryder Mitchell is in a car crash. Yeah. And then they take her kid and then she's like, I'm going to get my kid back. Triangle face, I know. Precisely, yes.
Starting point is 01:20:42 Do they explain where he comes from? In the games, I think they do. Yeah, but in the movie, he just turns up. He's terrifying in that movie. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. He's like nine feet tall. His name's Pyramid Head, isn't it? Yes, it is.
Starting point is 01:20:54 Good, good. I like we're idiots for calling him Triangle Face. I guess it's probably one of the better ones. I'd put it in my top five. Yeah. There we go. Enough? Sure. Let's talk about of the better ones. I'd put it in my top five. Yeah. There we go. Enough? Sure.
Starting point is 01:21:07 Let's talk about the first Hitman. Okay. It's garbage. It is garbage, yeah. I don't know if it's better than the new one because I don't remember it. Okay. Well, then let's definitely discuss it. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:21:21 I don't know anything about it. The best part of Hitman, the first movie, is the part where he meets a number of other Hitmen who are trying to hit him. And rather than them all just shooting each other, they decide now is the time for honour. And they all put down their guns and they draw swords and they have an honourable sword fight.
Starting point is 01:21:38 That's right. Yeah. Did you know, I'm going to spoil the end of the new Hitman. Okay, I'm ready. They defeat the bad guy. Yeah, King Hitman. King Hitman. Okay, I'm ready. They defeat the bad guy. Yeah, King Hitman. King Hitman. Or somebody does.
Starting point is 01:21:48 He explodes in a helicopter. Uh-huh. And then the elevator doors open and another Hitman appears and it's Agent 48 and he's the exact copy of Agent 47. And that's how the movie ends. He's an exact copy of Agent 47 in Hitman Agent 47? Or is he a copy of that would be amazing yeah no it's the same actor okay which implies i guess that all the hitmen look like that
Starting point is 01:22:12 yeah because i thought that they were all they're all genetically modified but i didn't think they all look the same or maybe they do i don't know well they you can't tell because they're bloody all mastered to the skies aren't they that's true It's just look for the bald guy in the hat. That's all you need to do with the fucking barcode across the back of his head. Yeah, no, whatever. I don't know. Anything else? Honorable sword fights.
Starting point is 01:22:39 That's it. Yep. Yep. Max Payne. Yep. Haven't seen it. Also haven't seen it. Next.
Starting point is 01:22:47 Next. Apparently it's boring. so that's the issue we have i remember hearing that mark warburg didn't play the games but he got somebody to play them in front of him and he watched it through so the least interest so as no one see no wonder it's bad because you you can't enjoy a video game by watching somebody else play it correct so no you would go into this with zero interest in the hitman games the original ones yeah they kind of took that john woo kind of style slow motion shooting and they made that and they put that into a video game which was incredible was great apparently the new one's really good because rockstar did the latest okay that's quite solid um but they're all apparently they're all okay i don't know i
Starting point is 01:23:22 don't really remember but i remember in the promo trailers for this there's all angels and demons yeah but i think it's a dream sequence right okay but i don't know in the original video game yeah there are a series of surreal flashback action sequences like where you uh like you go through like a corridor that's made of blood to get to a you know a child's bedroom and it's super creepy kind of thing. Okay, cool. I don't know if they pull... But everybody just says Hitman's boring. It's a boring film.
Starting point is 01:23:52 So who am I to disagree? You mean Max Tabe? Yeah, and it's just an action movie. Okay, fair enough. Prince of Persia. Yes. I don't think it's any worse than any of the Pirates movies. Maybe the first one. I don't know. Yeah don't think it's any worse than any of the Pirates movies. Maybe the first one.
Starting point is 01:24:05 I don't know. Yeah, I think it's on par with Pirates 1. Yeah. Okay, good. Good. I think Jake Gyllenhaal's good as a Persian guy. Yep. Is Ben Kingsley in it?
Starting point is 01:24:15 Ben Kingsley is in it. Great. As an even more Persian guy. Why did this not get a beat down for whitewashing? I think it did. Okay, great. Not as much as Noah did, but yeah. I guess it's a smaller property and it's not based on a historical event.
Starting point is 01:24:33 Sure. As in a man didn't really find a dagger with time-travelling sand in it. Yeah, that's true. I love those video games. They're some of my favourite series of video games. There was a Prince of Persia trilogy and then they made another one on the last generation console, which is a continuation continuation of that or it's set between one and two but they also did a weird cel-shaded reboot okay which i did not like right but those four
Starting point is 01:24:53 games are really solid and this gets a lot of that it gets a bit of the parkour and it's really it's very big budget yes like they put a lot of money into this special effects are pretty good there's some sand sliding which doesn't look as good you know it's it's pretty cool man guess what the rotten tomato score is 38 36 you were it's yeah look it's not perfect yep but it's the best it's better than every other movie that we've talked about i would say so yeah yeah we got one more neither speed oh we We've got one more. Need for Speed. Oh, we've only got one more? Yeah. Wow. Did you see that? It's on Netflix.
Starting point is 01:25:29 I couldn't get through it. It's so dull. It's so dull, that movie. So boring. Yep. I don't even think I got to a part with Aaron Paul in it. Oh, really? I can't even remember.
Starting point is 01:25:43 It's so dull. I couldn't tell you the first thing about that movie. I mean, aside from the speed. But you know what? I heard they put a lot of effort into the car chases. Apparently the car chases are quite good. Yeah. Not that you would know, because I don't think you got to that.
Starting point is 01:25:54 I didn't even get to a car chase. You got any more? Because I might have missed something. Oh, Dead or Alive. That's one of my favorites. That's a Uwe Boll one, isn't it? Was it? No, I don't think it was.
Starting point is 01:26:09 No, it was directed by Corey Yuen. Don't know who that is is it's pretty great it's got australia's holly valance in it oh i do know this dead or alive is the video game franchise is most famous for it's a fighting game series but all the female characters have like giant jiggling boobs isn't there a volleyball version of that yes there is they eventually they were just like who well there was doa i think they got up to five and they're solid fighting games yeah but at a certain point they're like i guess some of our audience are just perverts who don't want to they can't be bothered with all these fighting game mechanics let's just have all the cat let's just get all the female characters and have them wear bikinis and play volleyball. And then I think there was a sequel to that. There wasn't even any volleyball.
Starting point is 01:26:49 What was it? Just jumping? Yeah. Okay. Anyway, this movie is super dumb, but I enjoyed it. And it's got Eric Roberts in it. All of those things sound great. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:26:58 Very good. Is that it? I think Eric Roberts, like, I really enjoy the work ethic of Eric Roberts. Because he's just like I listened to an interview with him I think it was on Adam Carolla
Starting point is 01:27:09 or something like that and he's just like you know somebody will come up to him and be like hey do you want to spend three weeks in Thailand and get paid to do it
Starting point is 01:27:16 and then sit by the beach all day and then you know be in some dumb movie and he's like yeah I do
Starting point is 01:27:22 he just does that all year great good for him man yeah i heard him and julia roberts hate each other oh well that makes sense who's the better roberts though that's a question for another day isn't it though um i got a question i got an email here yes uh from andrew in texas oh also the final battle of dead or alive eric robert puts on like virtual reality glasses that give him kung fu powers because the thought of alive eric robert puts on like virtual reality glasses that give him kung
Starting point is 01:27:45 fu powers because the thought of imagining eric robert's fighting anybody kung fu style is pretty pretty ridiculous right it is he's great in the dark night he is yeah yeah greetings and salutations nick and james this summer has proven to be a major setback for video game uh for the video game movie genre with the release of pixels and agent 47 at their core the video game movie genre, with the release of Pixels and Agent 47. At their core, most video game movies flop due to studios passing these projects along to relatively unknown or unsuccessful directors who treat the project like a resume requirement before getting into real films. That's fair.
Starting point is 01:28:17 But do a lot of these directors get into quote-unquote real films? No. Surely not. I feel this is more a... These movies are more of a punishment. Oh, okay. No. Surely not. I feel this is more a... These movies are more of a punishment. Oh, okay. Yeah. I feel it might be people who have done real films
Starting point is 01:28:31 and then they've kind of flopped and they're just like, well, this is what I'm doing now. However, with Duncan Jones, Helming Warcraft, and Assassin's Creed being produced by Michael Fassbender, perhaps these upcoming films will be the health pack. Oh, very good.
Starting point is 01:28:45 It's good. Very good. Anyway, what video game? A real one-up. Yes. What video game? A real multi-ball for the video game industry. A real flower that lets you shoot fire.
Starting point is 01:28:57 Shoot fire. Fire flower. And changes your overalls to white. Anyways, what video game movies would you guys like to see on the big screen and who should direct them? Take care, lovely gents. PSO turned 21 on the 25th but I got class all day
Starting point is 01:29:09 so I won't be able to celebrate so I was wondering if I could get a birthday shout out if it's in too much trouble. I think you should skip class. You don't need the shout out. Finally, some wisdom on this podcast.
Starting point is 01:29:19 Whatever this is, we do. Thank you. Happy birthday, mate. Yeah. A lot of people want the Uncharted movies to be on screen. I would like that a lot.
Starting point is 01:29:25 That's happening. Yeah, good. Very good. It was going to be Cade Jaeger. Sorry, Mark Wahlberg. That was his character in Transformers. I get confused because he's such a good actor. Such a good actor.
Starting point is 01:29:35 And he would have stopped 9-11. You got the others? I think Metal Gear Solid is on the way. Yes, I believe it was Tom Hardy. Or maybe that's not happening. Or maybe he's split to sell. I can't remember. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:29:55 I would like to see that a lot. Would you like to see a Metal Gear Solid movie and Kurt Russell is big boss? Yes. Yes. Boy, would I. I don't know if that's off the top of your head. That is off the top of my head.
Starting point is 01:30:07 Wow, that'd be great. If you can't wait for a Metal Gear Solid movie, just go play like Metal Gear Solid 4 and watch the last cutscene that goes for like two hours. Good. It's ridiculous. Yeah. Like, you know the thing with like, I'd like to see The Last of Us and the Uncharted movies, but those are movies. See, exactly, you know the thing with like, I'd like to see The Last of Us and the Uncharted movies, but those are movies.
Starting point is 01:30:27 See, exactly. You know what I mean? I don't feel that they should, they will attempt to do it because the story's been built in. Yeah. But I don't think they should. They should just get Josh Brolin and remake The Last of Us. Yeah, okay. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:30:38 It'd be, I mean, that character is Josh Brolin. Because when there's, but when there's like a multi, you know, when there's a video game that's got like 30 hours of story in it. Yeah. I don't feel that they should, you know, and with The Last of Us, the story is really important to it.
Starting point is 01:30:54 Absolutely. I don't think that they should attempt to break that down to two hours. Fair. I think they'd cut out a lot of... They'd cut out the giraffes. Spoiler alert. Have you played that game?
Starting point is 01:31:02 Some of it. It's amazing. Do you have a PS4? Not yet. I'll lend you a copy okay great um you'll lend me a copy of your ps4 no i need that oh sure okay it
Starting point is 01:31:13 came with the system i haven't played it yet yeah um i mean i played it on ps4 yeah i i don't i don't know if you i'm happy that video games can be video games yeah yeah
Starting point is 01:31:21 movies can be movies oh deus ex human revolution i'd watch a video i'd watch a yeah that's happening apparently yeah but like video game to movies. Oh, Deus Ex Human Revolution. I'd watch a video game. Yeah, that's happening, apparently. Okay, great, yeah. But, like, video game to movies don't work well,
Starting point is 01:31:29 and it also doesn't generally work well the other way. They can just be their own thing. That's true, yeah. Don't you reckon? I mean, based on what we've seen today... Yes. ...making a movie based on a video game isn't going to turn out well. So, in a way, I kind of hope they don't make any more.
Starting point is 01:31:43 Do you think Warcraft, though, at the very least, can do well or John Carter it? I think it will make a lot of money. Yeah. But I don't know if it's going to be any good. It's Duncan Jones, though. Oh, okay. You've mentioned that repeatedly. I keep forgetting.
Starting point is 01:31:58 If anyone can do it, he can do it, I would say. Okay. Yeah. Great. Do you want me to list some- But this might be the only good one we ever get this but that's the case yeah if it is good
Starting point is 01:32:08 we're gonna get a lot of video game movies aren't we and a lot of fantasy movies like I would say that would kick off yeah yeah apparently well then we're getting Dungeons
Starting point is 01:32:15 and Dragons we're getting a whole bunch of stuff do you want to hear some upcoming ones yes Ratchet and Clank that's gonna be animated great okay good yeah angry birds
Starting point is 01:32:24 the movie as long as we're not going to get bloody josh gad and somebody to be ratchet and or clank uh angry birds the movie animated i hate it warcraft do angry do the angry birds have a through plot line yeah there's the pigs stole their eggs oh okay good don't you remember all right uh that might be a bit of a kind of a wallace and Gromit kind of vibe. Sure. All right. I won't watch it, but I'll be aware of it.
Starting point is 01:32:48 You'll know it's out. Yeah, I'll know it's out, probably. Resident Evil, the final chapter. What do you think is the chance of that being the final chapter? It's not going to be the final chapter. Wait, unless Milla Jovovich retires or something. Yeah. Uncharted, Metal Gear Solid, Temple Run.
Starting point is 01:33:04 Isn't that an iPhone game game yes well so is angry birds yeah uh sly cooper oh yeah that could work um sonic the hedgehog uh i'm gonna say that doesn't work i don't think that'll work no i think he's burnt too many bridges in video games sure yeah and he brought sega down he brought sega itself to his knees, they did a lot of things, but yeah, that was... Yeah, yeah. Terrible Sonic games didn't help. There is the one where he turns into a werewolf. Okay.
Starting point is 01:33:30 Familiar with that game? No. Doesn't matter. Just Cause, Scorpion Rising. That could be fun, if done right. I hope it's... Those games are nuts. I hope it's set entirely like it's a guy on a paraglider,
Starting point is 01:33:43 and it's just like a mid-shot of on a paraglider and it's just that's like it's just like a mid shot of him like his face and his shoulders and he's held on on a like a paraglider like cables or whatever yeah and it's just a shot of that for 90 minutes while he's like whoa whoa and then just stuff's happening around him he's firing a gun occasionally it's something we can't see great i would love that Mass Effect these are also like in development like those are games with
Starting point is 01:34:08 a hundred hours of story though yeah so good luck to Tomb Raider again I think you could do Tomb Raider right yeah I think so too yeah
Starting point is 01:34:16 yeah Splinter Cell we talked about and Last of Us so there you go yeah great we did it did we it depends what like what the goal was. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:34:26 So whatever we did just now was a thing that happened. We did that. No one can take that away from us that that's a thing that happened. Do you want to do the what we're reading part? Yeah. I'll put in the theme song. Great. I'm doing the theme.
Starting point is 01:34:41 I'm doing the theme. What are we reading today? What are you reading? Do you want to go first? Sure. I watched Predestination. Yes. Did you ever see the movie?
Starting point is 01:34:56 I have a copy of this right here and I haven't watched it. Oh, really? Yeah. I was surprised. You should watch it. It's a good kind of time travel flick. It's kind of creepy in parts and weird
Starting point is 01:35:06 and it's mind bendy and you kind of see the twist coming before it comes there's a few twists but it's good it's solid storytelling and it's an Australian
Starting point is 01:35:14 ish film the guy who made Daybreakers Dawnbreakers Daybreakers Stormbreakers Storm Riders Spyro the Dragon
Starting point is 01:35:22 was that a Dino Riders yes that should be a movie we finally got to something we want yeah it's solid man Ethan Hawke's good Stormbreakers. Storm. Storm Riders. Spyro the Dragon. Was that a- Dino Riders. Yes. That should be a movie. We finally got to something we want. Yeah, it's solid, man. Ethan Hawke's good. So I should literally start watching it right now.
Starting point is 01:35:31 Well, yeah, I guess you could. Right, good. No headphones. Just watch this. What's you reading? What you gonna read? I'm gonna watch Predestination. Yeah? I don't know what I've been watching this week Did you read any books?
Starting point is 01:35:51 Read any books, how dare you Sorry Yeah Did you read any comic books? You don't actually know what I watched I watched the first episode And everybody's already over this already But it's called Catastrophe
Starting point is 01:36:02 It's got Rob Delaney in it Don't know that It's basically a Rob Delaney in it. I don't know that. It's basically a... Rob Delaney's like a sales executive or whatever. He goes to America. He meets a woman. They hook up. He leaves.
Starting point is 01:36:13 And then like a month later, she calls him to say she's pregnant. And so he has to go over and deal with that whole situation. What's Rob Delaney in? Twitter. What? He's huge on Twitter. He's a comedian. He's huge on Twitter.
Starting point is 01:36:24 He's got a big old head big old okay and it's good yeah it's fun yeah I'm enjoying it a lot also Australian government workplace comedy
Starting point is 01:36:34 Utopia is back I haven't watched the new episode yet it is too yeah it's great yeah I like it that's one of my Americans you can probably
Starting point is 01:36:39 get that on the internet somewhere it's very good fun I really like that show it's one of the best Australian shows. I'd say so, yeah. I'd say so, yeah.
Starting point is 01:36:46 But Catastrophe, yeah, it's out on, I think Americans get it on Amazon Video or something like that. Sure. It's pretty good. I don't think we have that here. No. Well, we do.
Starting point is 01:36:53 It doesn't matter. I saw it on RU. Great. I've got a letter here. I'm ready. From Jose, for what we read. Sure, no, I understand. The new Jesse Eisenberg film, American Ultra.
Starting point is 01:37:03 If you want to email us, weeklyplanetpod at gmail.com. Correct. The new Jesse Eisenberg film, American Ultra, is super fun, action-packed, stoner film with a surprising amount of heart.
Starting point is 01:37:13 Eisenberg's character, Mick Howell, is a stoner working at a convenience store with his girlfriend when he's attacked and finds out he's a sleeper agent killing machine. Eisenberg and Kristen Stewart have great on-screen chemistry
Starting point is 01:37:22 and overall it was super fun. Plus, it's not a reboot or a sequel. And finally, I hope to see more original films in Hollywood. Thanks for the podcast. Can't help but be the official Jeff Lemire's run. Green arrow of the podcast. Yes, you may.
Starting point is 01:37:35 Excellent. Yeah, I've heard nothing but good things about that. Me too. And again, so it's Jesse Eisenberg and Kristen Stewart re-teaming after Adventureland. Correct. Which was very good. Yeah. People are like, ugh, Kristen Stewart, oh.
Starting point is 01:37:46 But she's good in stuff that she's interested in doing. You know what? She's good in, there's a Julianne Moore movie. I talked about it. Still Alice. She's really good in that. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:37:55 Look. By the end, was she still Alice? No. Wow. Jesus. She became a beautiful butterfly. Wow. And that's a good movie.
Starting point is 01:38:03 It's sad. It's good. I don't want to talk about it because it's emotional. There's no room for emotions. We had our bloody fill of emotions earlier on in the podcast. Correct. Do you have a letter to say for this week? I do.
Starting point is 01:38:15 Great. It's from Gabs, Gabs Gale. Should we talk about how this works? Oh, sure. Well, you every week refuse to edit in another theme. I refuse! You bloody stop doing it, mate. And no, you won't.
Starting point is 01:38:27 So every week I ask the listeners to send in any Weekly Planet themes they would like to. Sometimes it's on a theme, like a particular theme, like spy movie theme or whatever. But just send one in. It's fine. And I, what you have to do is you're going to need to put it on YouTube and then tweet me that you've done that
Starting point is 01:38:45 and then I will play it through my phone. Yes, he will. Just directly through the old speaker. So anyway, Gab's Gale. Do you reckon people can hear that lawnmower? I think they can hear nothing but the lawnmower. It's fine. It's a super cut Harry and the Masons letters theme tune.
Starting point is 01:38:59 I have absolutely no idea what this is. So ears unheard. Let's see how this goes, hey? All right. All right. Bet we're going to add first. It's the floor. You've got to go.
Starting point is 01:39:15 Look, you're on. All right, please, please. There's no time. Don't worry about us. We'll be all right. Get out of here. You're messing. Can't you see we don't know what that was that's kind of genius yeah
Starting point is 01:39:42 it's from Harry and the Hendersons the movie yes it is so there's a Harry and the Hendersons, the movie. Yes, it is. So there's a scene at the end where they have to get rid of Harry and so they pretend that they don't like him and they've just edited in me saying Nick Mason. Yeah. He's referred to as that as his greatest work and I believe him.
Starting point is 01:40:01 That's so stupid, but I love it. Absolutely. Yeah. It's not even so stupid but i love it absolutely yeah it's not even any it's not even a theme tune doesn't even say letters in it i'll take it i'll bloody take it yeah that's great hey guys just wanted to say i love the show you guys are great i have a question if you could ban any movie cliche what would it be i would forbid any scene in where there's a scientist slash nerd character give some exposition and another character says,
Starting point is 01:40:30 English! Yeah. Keep up the good work and grab that gem. Joe from the wild north of England. What would NCIS do, the TV series, without that trope though? Yeah. If they got rid of that. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:40:41 Yeah. Because every episode, I would like a super cut of just the main guy and that going english mcgee because there's a guy called mcgee oh really yeah wow yeah i want to get rid of any cut anything from the matrix anything that anything that happened in the matrix anything any kind of action scene okay that do you feel that that sort of stuff is still happening i feel i just saw hitman yeah it is oh boy give me an example uh what is it is there a lot of people spinning he's on his back and he's shooting gun i can't even think there was a moment i think it was a bit where he's on his back and then he goes up onto his feet and he's bending over backwards and firing guns behind him okay and so any kind
Starting point is 01:41:19 of gymnastic shooting yes get rid of it okay uh i don't love shaky cam get rid of that yeah yeah it can work but it generally doesn't yeah you know what i don't like mediocre these kind of mediocre hitman taken three uh transporter three or the transporter reboot oh yes middle of the road bullshit action movies that are nothing so So the whole thing that has to go. All of it. Just get rid of it. Right. Because they're not, you can't talk about them at length because they're so forgettable.
Starting point is 01:41:51 And they're not interesting. So you can't even say this was a good bit. It's just. Yeah. Just get rid of those. It's interesting because there's, when you think that there's so much content out there, like there's so many movies and TV series, We're never going to, like in our lifetime, you're never going to see every movie or TV series.
Starting point is 01:42:08 Like there's not even close. Not even if you had an extra hundred years, you still couldn't do it. And yet they still make these things. You would think that maybe with the advent of Netflix and all this stuff, that'd die off. You hope so. But evidently not.
Starting point is 01:42:22 Do you know what I'm saying? You know like your Mark Wahlberg shooter. They're just okay. Yeah. Like, just whatever Clive Owen did last. Right, yeah. Some of Gerard Butler's movies, I guess. I don't mind Gamer.
Starting point is 01:42:35 And what was the one where... Law Abiding Citizens. Yes. Where his wife and kid were killed. Yeah. And then it turned out that he was like a CIA super soldier. Like he was just a regular guy. He was the killer from Saw.
Starting point is 01:42:51 Yeah, he was the killer from Saw. But he was an action star. Yeah, but he was also the good guy, but then by Act 3 he wasn't the good guy anymore. Yeah, that's... That movie goes all kinds of places. Yeah, that's not an example of what I'm talking about. You want more of that?
Starting point is 01:43:03 Not necessarily, but I think... I think just having the one of that is fine that movie was very interesting i was thinking about that the other day apropos of nothing i'm just like boy remember that jb fox is in it yeah remember when he rigged that judge's phone to explode when she picked it up and shoot her through the head. That's right. Yeah. It's a solid movie, baby. Yeah, no, I don't think so. Anything else? Any trope you want to ban?
Starting point is 01:43:36 What about any scene where they both put down their guns and have a punch up? Yeah, no, that's... I don't like that. Any kind of... Yeah, exactly. They did it in Expendables 3. They did it in Expendables 3. Anything in Expendables 3. Yeah, just. They did it in Expendables 3. They did it in Expendables 3. Anything in Expendables 3. Yeah, just anything where...
Starting point is 01:43:49 Because it's a life or death situation. Yeah. And it's really important that both of those guys kill the other guy. Yeah. Just shoot him. You should have. I want to see it. There should be one more where the good guy drops his gun and the bad guy shoots him.
Starting point is 01:44:03 And then it's the end of the movie. Oh, yeah. Just have that. Yeah. Because once- Gerard Butler? Yeah, whatever. As both characters?
Starting point is 01:44:09 As both characters. It's a remake of Arnold Schwarzenegger's The Sixth Day. Great. Yeah. Do you know in The Sixth Day, there's no Arnold-Arnold fight? That's very disappointing. What are they doing? How many Arnold clones were there in that movie?
Starting point is 01:44:23 There's at least one. I don't remember. I didn't get through it. Okay. Well, then how do you know you missed... No, I know there isn't. Okay. Because apparently I saw a review for Terminator Genisys
Starting point is 01:44:33 where there's an Arnold on Arnold part and they're like, they should have done this in the sixth. I'm like, yeah, you're right. They should have if I watched the rest of that movie. Anyway, tropes are another time. I think we could probably do an episode on that. Oh, boy. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:44:45 Hey, Nick and James. By the way, I read one of the letters earlier about the video game movie. Anyway, tropes are another time. I think we could probably do an episode on that. Oh, boy. Yeah. Hey, Nick and James. By the way, I read one of the letters earlier about the video game movie, so this is the last letter. Oh, wow. And I feel like we've earned this. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:44:52 We can... Yeah. What do you think about the announcement of that Legends of Tomorrow being the last CW superhero show? Good or bad decision? Love the podcast.
Starting point is 01:45:01 You two do a great job, so don't mess it up. From Kayla. P.S. Can I be the official Paschetti thief of the podcast Yes you may It was him
Starting point is 01:45:07 Yeah Did you hear about that I didn't hear about that That's going to be the last one Yeah And then are they giving up The license Or what's happening
Starting point is 01:45:14 No I think they're just I think they're like We've got enough We've got Arrow We've got The Flash We've got Legends of Tomorrow I'm okay with that Me too
Starting point is 01:45:21 Look I like those Yep Shows quite a bit We haven't seen Legends obviously No but You know they're enjoyable series Zzzz I'm okay with that. Me too. Look, I like those shows quite a bit. We haven't seen Legends, obviously. No, but they're enjoyable series. They're all the same. If we're talking about tropes, all the same.
Starting point is 01:45:35 Okay. I mean, not mechanic. Arrow's got flashback sequences. I know, I know. But we've got a team. Same tone. Tone, exactly, yeah. Colour palette. Colour palette is...
Starting point is 01:45:47 Arrow's a little darker. Yeah, but... Yeah, I think we got the gist of it. Yeah. Unless they're going to do a big shift in tone or something. Yeah. Or, you know, but we've got enough of these series. We've got...
Starting point is 01:46:01 This particular TV universe is big enough, I feel. And, you know, you've got Constantine coming this particular TV universe is big enough. I feel. And you know, you got Constantine coming into Arrow as well across from NBC, I believe, you know, you can still introduce characters. Hey, no,
Starting point is 01:46:12 I'm not saying this will definitely be the last one, but I think they know that they shouldn't saturate the market. Right. They've got three and you know, the third one might not even work. Right. And so, you know,
Starting point is 01:46:23 if you had two really good ones that rate well you don't need to do any more with that correct yeah there you go that's the show for this week mason we did it we did now next week we said we do a versus episode great but all do we want to save that because next week is episode 99 and the following week will be 100 oh yes so do we do the versus then in the 100th episode and do something else next week? Look, it's bloody up in the air, isn't it? It is, isn't it? Don't make me make any decisions on this show, all right?
Starting point is 01:46:52 Okay. Well, I was saying maybe you could throw it open to listeners. Yes. What they want us to do for the 100th episode. Okay, yeah. There is a Reddit thread. Yeah, there is. Oh, yeah, there is.
Starting point is 01:47:00 Reddit slash r slash The Weekly Planet. Yeah. Or whatever it is. Look, don't expect anything better than what we just did now. Wow. Just, well, we might just make it a regular one. People are saying Q&A. I don't really want to do a Q&A one.
Starting point is 01:47:16 Do you want to do a Q&A one? Because you don't like revealing anything about yourself. That's not even that. I just don't think it's that interesting. Like, who cares about what I do or what you do I don't care what you do oh no worst outcome
Starting point is 01:47:31 yeah I don't know but do you have any thoughts on what you'd want to do let's bloody wing it let's wing it on the day episode 100 let's just let's just start talking
Starting point is 01:47:39 and see what happens alright so how about we will do verses next week how about that so people send in your verses tweet them at both of us, I guess,
Starting point is 01:47:46 at Wikipedia Brown for Mason. Yep. At Mr. Sunday movies or email them in, keep them short and we'll probably end up doing like maybe 12. So we'll get a lot. So we'll pick out, we won't necessarily pick out the best ones.
Starting point is 01:47:58 We'll pick out the ones that we feel like we could say something about, I guess. Does that make sense? Yeah. Hmm. Do you want to do a warm-up one? Okay. I don't have one.
Starting point is 01:48:08 Great. No, someone sent me one. It was a good one. What was it? I can't remember. Great. Yeah. But it was like, but I said to them,
Starting point is 01:48:16 can you send this back to me? Because I'll forget. And lo and behold, I have forgotten. Thank you to Bruton Basilisk for the themes. Yeah, man. What else? Well, they can find us at Weekly Planet Pod on Gmail and Facebook and Twitter. Correct.
Starting point is 01:48:30 We've already done ours. We have. Also follow The Weekly Planet on Twitter. Yes. Because he's a fan account who is much better at being us than us. So definitely follow him. I've got it. I found it.
Starting point is 01:48:41 Great. Oh, sorry. Keep going. Sorry. Bandcamp. Weeklyplanetpod.bandcamp.com. Commentaries. Patreon.com slash MrSundayMovies. Correct. I found it. Great. Oh, sorry. Keep going. Sorry. Bandcamp. Weeklyplanetpod.bandcamp.com. Commentaries. Patreon.com slash MrSundayMovies.
Starting point is 01:48:48 Correct. All those things. All the greats. So this is from Neil. Doctor Doom from the Fantastic Four Silver Surfer movies. Yep. Or Doctor Doom from the last movie. Who wins?
Starting point is 01:49:01 Well, Doctor Doom in reboot. Yes. Has vague telekinetic powers. Head-exploding powers. Head-exploding powers. He can also move rocks around. Correct. And you've just watched The Silver Surfer.
Starting point is 01:49:11 Yes. So this is fresh. Yeah. He has lightning gloves. He has lightning gloves and he's really smarmy. So I'm going to give it to Australia's own Julian McMahon for smarmy-ness there. You really think that's... You think he just wouldn't burst his head inside his helmet?
Starting point is 01:49:27 Oh, yeah, that's a really good point, actually. I'd like to see that, just like blood come out of the eyes and nose, you know what I mean? Out of that helmet. Yeah, interesting. That's a precursor to the quality of show you can expect next week. Yeah. In fact, we'll probably edit that one in as just the highlight.
Starting point is 01:49:43 That's right. Alright. We did it. Now, as always probably edit that one in as just the highlight. That's right. All right. We did it. Now, as always, grab that gem, guys. Yes. And James, what do you say? I don't say anything. Your famous catchphrase, I'm not going to say, who ate all my paschetti? I'm saying nothing.
Starting point is 01:49:58 Okay. We're going to end the show. Great. I'm going to lie down. Okay, good. You've earned it. I have. Because you're hungry. You need to lie down because you're hungry. I've earned it. I have. Because you're hungry.
Starting point is 01:50:05 You need to lie down because you're hungry. I'm so hungry. Because someone ate your paschetti. That's right. Who ate your paschetti? No, we'll never know. We'll never know. Bye, guys.
Starting point is 01:50:12 Bye.

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