The Weekly Planet - Assassin's Creed - Caravan Of Garbage
Episode Date: June 13, 2024Assassin's Creed 2016 is Ubisofts second attempt to bring one of their beloved video game franchises to the screen. And the results were yet again...lacking. Headed up by Michael Fassbender playing t...he duel role of a future guy and ancient history guy it parkours it's way in and around the neverending battle between the Assassin Order and the Templars for a glowing apple that can probably do something. Thanks for checking out our Caravan Of Garbage reviewSUBSCRIBE HERE ►► http://goo.gl/pQ39jNHelp support the show and get early episodes ► https://bigsandwich.co/Patreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesJames' Twitter ► http://twitter.com/mrsundaymoviesMaso's Twitter ► http://twitter.com/wikipediabrownPatreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesT-Shirts/Merch ► https://www.teepublic.com/stores/mr-sunday-movies The Weekly Planet iTunes ► https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-weekly-planet/id718158767?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 The Weekly Planet Direct Download ► https://play.acast.com/s/theweeklyplanetAmazon Affiliate Link ► https://amzn.to/2nc12P4SUBSCRIBE HERE ►► http://goo.gl/pQ39jNVideo Edition ► https://youtu.be/9qubm5z66pcHelp support the show and get early episodes ► https://bigsandwich.co/Patreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesJames' Twitter ► http://twitter.com/mrsundaymoviesMaso's Twitter ► http://twitter.com/wikipediabrownPatreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesT-Shirts/Merch ► https://www.teepublic.com/stores/mr-sunday-movies The Weekly Planet iTunes ► https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-weekly-planet/id718158767?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 The Weekly Planet Direct Download ► https://play.acast.com/s/theweeklyplanetAmazon Affiliate Link ► https://amzn.to/2nc12P4 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Alright, it's time to wrap up badly made movies that did badly at the box office.
Video game edition.
Huzzah!
You happy to see the back of this, Ayo?
Yeah, we're nearly at the end.
And boy, what a movie to go out on, James.
Assassin's Creed.
James, this movie really put the ass ass into ass assin's creed.
I've got that same note!
James, this is a movie so ass they assed it twice.
Now, obviously folks, that's a little-
What are you, the angry video game nerd?
James, this is a little tribute to the angry video game nerd of course because you know given the business
We're in I like to think that if I were to put on the animus the device that lets you view the memories of those
That came before you I'd see the memories of the angry video game nerd
Yeah, sure. It's you'd watch him take a buffalo diarrhea in his ear
Absolutely, and you of course would see the memories of the nostalgia critic. I would, yeah.
All the stuff he's done.
No!
All the cool stuff!
All the cool stuff!
Anyways, please leave a like on this video because of course we are talking about 2016's
Assassin's Creed.
All jokes aside, it's really bad, this movie.
I've written, might be the dullest movie we've ever watched.
But also, but is it?
Because it's kind of true to the games, especially the first one. If you ever played that game, and I have, there's a lot of you go into a
room and a guy goes, you know the Templars, they talk about truth and the thing about
truth is what's real. And you know what's real? Jesus. Or maybe not. Maybe God's real.
And I'm God, but maybe what is man but God pretending to be Jesus?
There's a scene towards the start of this movie where where you know, we were introduced to a boring game
I said really is we're introduced to our point of view character at one point
They say, you know
If the Apple falls into their hands the Templars will destroy everything that stands in their way
Protest dissent our right to think for ourselves and then they're like and we're gonna chop one of your fingers off
And he's not like how about no though. You just say the thing about think if you know
No, you've we've got a we've got to chop your finger.
Maybe we could turn the gauntlet thing around.
So it comes out the back of my hand and-
They figure it out in other Assassin's Creed games.
They only really do it in the first one.
Don't you think maybe it would be a clue
to the fact that we're assassins,
that we're all missing our ring fingers?
Do you think that would be-
No, you could just explain it like,
yeah, I got married, really what, you know, but I
was like, nah, not for me mate, you know?
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Had to chop off the old ball of chain, you know what I mean?
Exactly. But look, I think though, this isn't as bad as I thought it would be. And I really
like this director, he's an Australian guy called Justin Kurzel. This is the second collaboration
he's had with Michael Fassbender and Marianne Coulter-Yard, because they did Macbeth the
year before. If you've ever seen the true history of
the Kelly Gang, if you've ever seen NIT.RAM which follows the life of Martin
Bryan, he doesn't make fun movies. He makes very good movies. I know I've seen
Assassin's Creed, I know he doesn't make fun movies James. There was a little
delay on the recording of this so I watched this about five days ago and
I'm just looking at my notes here and I'm like I have no idea what's the one you have
about the rock there's a note that just says could have just dropped a big rock
on that guy I reckon I don't know what they're talking about you know I don't
know what this guy was talking about it's another era this movie's
breathtakingly dull I'm sorry to the director of this movie but here's the
thing as well that I think the reason this doesn't translate because you said
it's it's similar to the games.
Yeah. But the thing about the games is for people who don't know the premise of the games is that it's a sort of near future
time. And they've invented a device, a sort of sci fi fantasy device called the animus. And you put it on your head, I think, or you
sit in a chair, I don't know something, maybe there's a head in a chair involved, don't know sure and then what happens is you see the memories of one of your genetic
antecedents you see one of your ancestors memories but crucially that
character the one in the future isn't doing anything just having a look he's
just having a look like when you the player are playing the game mm-hmm what
you're actually doing is you're just going through the memories of that
ancestor and the additional conceit of the game is like when your character game. What you're actually doing is you're just going through the memories of that ancestor.
And the additional conceit of the game is like when your character dies, they go, oh,
that's not actually how it went. Yeah, you're remembering it wrong. Here's how it actually
went and then you play again. But the thing about this movie is Michael Fassbender's present
day future character. He's not doing anything. He's got to sync up. He's got to sit. Well,
that's why they've given him the big arm. Yeah.
That's why they put him on a big swing arm.
Let's talk about the big swing arm.
Okay.
I mean, I think it's a more visually interesting way
to represent traveling through the past
and watching your ancestor and going,
oh yeah, jump over a thing.
It's more dynamic than just lying down on a bed and going,
oh yeah.
Let's put a man in a paint shaker instead.
Yeah.
But here's the thing, like, it's really important that your body and actions and mind are synced
up with your ancestors, but you would have to have exactly the same kind of physicality.
Like if you were a slightly different size, or maybe you ate a bowl of pasta before you
went in this.
Yes.
Like, you'd vom.
You'd vom.
No, you're absolutely right.
If you're not exact- because these, these assassins, you know, we go back to
What's his name? Cal Lynch. We go back to his
ancestor who's an assassin.
And the assassin character would be like
super highly trained and he would do his
stretches in the morning, I assume.
It's a really handy coincidence he has exactly the same physicality as-
And face.
And face is the future guy. But that's what happens in Assassin's Creed, Desmond looks like whatever, etc.
But you're right, like you'd vom.
Or you'd get a cramp.
Yeah you'd get a big cramp.
Or you'd twist your ankle.
And they'd say, you idiot, you broke the animus, you broke it!
It's also very handy that the pretense that they're bringing the future character into
the Abstergo organisation is that they were attempting to cure the world
of violence and he's a violent man and he was convicted of murder.
Oh yeah.
What if he wasn't?
What if he was just an accountant or whatever?
We've brought you in to cure violence but I'll just do spreadsheets.
Get on the arm!
Get on it!
Get in the big squeaker.
We're gonna waggle you around.
We're gonna waggle you around like you're a prize in one of those arcade machines.
You know?
So it's interesting that they decided to go with a brand new character as opposed to any of them from the video games.
So yeah, this is an Eltie or Ezio.
Ezio again.
Or Connor or Edward or Shay or Ana or Jacob and Evie or Bayek or Cassandra slash Alexios or Naio
slash Yasuke or Aveline or Evie or slash Sigrid or Xiaojun or Abazmir or Nikolai.
Or Leonardo da Vinci with a gun.
It's none of that.
You have invented this gun.
Yeah.
You want it?
Do you?
Come on.
Yes.
Give it a go.
Oh yeah I'll take the gun.
How many of these are there in the world one and it's mine
Yeah, I want the gun man. What a cast though as mentioned Marianne Colter yard
Let's let's pronounce it like that. Yeah, that's right. It's done. Don't worry. I'm Australian. This is how it goes Michael K
Williams. Mm-hmm. Great. Jeremy Irons. Oh, Jeremy Irons is the most fucking
Assassin's Creed looking dude you've ever seen in your life, isn't he? He belongs in this universe.
He might even be from here.
Maybe.
Yeah.
He could have stepped out of a portal into our world.
He's got, you know, he's got the, in interviews he's just got that vibe, that Assassin's Creed
vibe where he's like, perhaps a father could marry his son.
You know?
Seems like something the Templars would say.
I think it is, yeah.
Also just getting back to that, I think there is, and you mentioned how you have to
cut your finger off to be an assassin or whatever.
What Justin Kurzel tried to do as well is to show that,
he tried to both sides it and be like,
this isn't a clear run at what is true and what is correct
and what is real.
Maybe both sides be doing bad things.
That's cool.
And I appreciate the subtlety quite frankly.
Because you see both sides.
I do, exactly.
Just like Michael Fassbender, who was apparently Ubisoft's first choice
to play the franchise's hooded hero. According to Jean-Jules Baronnet, he's the CEO of Paris-based
Ubisoft Motion Pictures. Apparently Michael Fassbender was also involved in the editing
and a whole bunch of stuff. He was like start to finish finish this is very much Michael Fassbender's fault
Okay, which I love this movie is better than than than you think it is Mason slightly No, it's good to have one person to blame because usually with these kind of movies
Well, I well, you know, they've already tried their best whatever but you know, you've painted a target on this guy's back
Absolutely. I'm gonna leap off a roof into a big bale of hay
Jump out of it get him. Yeah, man man, well let's talk about the action,
cause it's not bad.
No it is bad.
No listen.
They take that classic swashbuckling movie trope,
sort of the escaping the hangman's noose in the city square.
In this case it's like a burning pyre,
and they make it boring.
No, I really like that sequence.
I thought it was so boring.
Well apparently Michael Fassbender and Ariane Lebed
did 95% of their own fights for this film
and 8% of this film including stunts and extras and locations is shot in camera without CGI.
But I will say this, often you'll be watching a chase scene, oh it's mostly just running away,
but often you'll be watching a chase scene in this and it's like,
oh this looks real, real, real, oh that looks like shit, real, real, it's like that's the flow of it?
I do have a note that says, smoke haze over boring CGI cities.
Yes, please.
That is a problem.
The haze in this is,
I mean, it's a video game fog.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's what's going on here.
It's actually very true to the PSP version
of Assassin's Creed that they made bloodlines
because that needed the fog for the draw distance.
Absolutely.
It's closer to the games than you could possibly imagine.
Ah, the leap of faith in this also is featured.
The leap of faith is real.
I mean, you wouldn't know,
but this is the highest free fall performed by a stunt man
in over 35 years.
Damien Walters did it.
He fell from 125 feet or 38 meters.
So he fell for three seconds
and it had a 61 miles per hour impact onto a 10 by 10 bag and
It's pretty hoping bag. Yes shopping bag. Yeah, a cold reusable shopping bag filled with fishing weights
You really hit it hard also
This is such a risky era to do a big jump or a roll or run down some steps
Because we talk about this all the time, but you'd roll your ankle and then you just die
Oh, you mean I thought you meant in the year this was made. No no
no it's fine now. Modern technologies Mason it's fine. Okay right. Yeah they're
getting Jeremy Renner running again he was flattened by a snowplow but he's off
he's off and running mate. Yeah but like this era god damn I wouldn't be an
assassin. We're gonna chop your finger off. No, I'll die from this
That's right
Ridiculous now what I couldn't remember about this was like, oh what what's what does the Apple do?
Hmm. I'm interested. Is this the same Apple from the games? Look, I've clearly fallen off because no
This is a get the Apple movie. What did you say? Movies are broken down into two
There's only two types of storytelling in the modern era. And I stole this from Twitter, but it's a, it's a, you can either get the orb or you
can close the gate.
And this is a get the orb, right?
This is the get the orb movie.
The orb, it's a literal orb.
It's an apple.
Yeah, absolutely.
The people in the present day, they want to find the, the apple of Eden, which is a, which
is an artifact that is either mystical or aliens made it or the precursor to humanity.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, they've got it and in the in the movie if they get it they can control everybody and make them not be violent
Yeah, man, that's good. Isn't it? Yeah, it's like the Kingsman one is Kingsman was a movie about that at one point
What's it? Yeah, there was like a they played a frequency or something that made everyone kill each other
Oh, yeah, it was the opposite of this. Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna bomb in their head
What happened in the second one?
Second Kingsman, Robot Dog, Alton John.
Yeah, Robot Dog and Alton John.
Surviving a bullet through the face.
Robot Dog and Alton John.
So yeah, but I looked into the apples.
And they all do something slightly different.
There's illusion projection, mind control,
physical manipulation, casting tangible holograms,
negating the powers of other pieces of Eden.
That's a good one, you want that one. Advanced knowledge, apparitions, conjuration,
power imbuing, energy manipulation, access to calculations. What? Who wants that one?
Invisibility, curse, activation, whatever that means. Insanity inducement, physical empowerment,
memory unlocking. Now 90% of those sound way more exciting than the apple they put in this movie.
An apple that can vaguely control people, baby.
I mean, when we activate this apple, a lot of people are going to stand very still for a while.
Yeah, if they're in the room.
Well, we'll move to different rooms.
We'll keep doing that.
We'll go room to room.
We'll go room to room, alright?
So the ending in this is that all the assassins,
so, oh yeah, they've captured all the assassins, or would-be assassins.
When, in the future or in the past?
No, in the future. The Templars.
Because they're all the descendants of the assassins, okay.
And they all have the potential to become assassins.
So what seems to be happening in this movie is that every time-
A lot of things seem to be happening.
Every time future Michael Fassbender looks at his
ancestors' memories from the past,
does he gain some assassin skill?
Is that how it's working?
Yeah, or he unlocks it.
Because it's tough to say, because in this movie,
they're like, you were in jail for being too cool
and too much of a tough guy.
And then later he does some karate and whatever.
And I'm like, did he know that already?
Good question.
How do you get caught if he knows all this karate?
Well, you can't use karate on everybody.
So I'm thinking it'll go room to room.
I'm thinking, so my assumption in this movie is that every time we went back in time he
gained a little bit of a-
That's your problem, Mason.
You can't make assumptions in the Assassin's Creed universe.
Assumptions.
Yeah, man.
No, he unlocks stuff, because then he could use a sword and a bow and arrow.
Hey, wow, I've unlocked my skill tree.
He did say that, I remember now.
Yeah. So anyway, they've got all these assassins in the
prison. I've got some skill points I could use them for karate or I could use
them for silent walking. I know what I'll do and then that's just the third act of
him walking around. I know I'll use this bird to unlock this city I could see
further use them for that. So yeah all the assassins that they've put in this
one place they decide to sync up and escape this facility which was always
gonna happen because you put a bunch of assassins in the
room and then let them train.
And just hang out with each other.
Yeah.
You know, just eating in the same room.
Get lunch.
Get a nice nutritious meal.
You know, they're building up their protein.
Absolutely.
Get one to meet his dad, Brendan Gleeson's in this for a second.
Brendan Gleeson's there, isn't he?
Yeah.
And Brendan Gleeson's son plays young Brendan Gleeson, but not Domino Gleeson, the other
Gleeson. Oh, other Gleeson. Double Gleeson. Tom Gleeson's son plays young Brendan Gleeson, but not Domino Gleeson the other Gleeson Oh other Gleeson double Gleeson Tom Gleeson
Yep. Yep
Reference, but yeah, yeah, it's a great reference
But like yeah, this is what happens when you train a bunch of lunatics
They're always gonna turn on you and then Michael Fassbender is going to assassinate Jeremy Irons
Yeah, but they could have dropped a rock on him. This that's probably what I'm thinking of no
That must have been the pastimes one.
Okay.
But I guess they assumed and they shouldn't
because in the ass ass and creed universe,
you should never ass you.
Can't make assumptions.
That they would have the egg by this point.
Yeah.
The apple of egg.
Yeah.
They'd have the apple of egg
and then they could just switch off everybody's violence.
Yeah, that's right.
But every time they were like, boy,
if we just bring in one more homicidal lunatic and
put them on that machine that gives them more skills, we're definitely going to get the
egg of apple this time.
Absolutely.
And then you've, you know, you've did snowballs.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, like a snowball of Aiden and then all of a sudden you've got a building full
of, you know, lunatics.
Yeah.
Violent lunatics.
Running amuck. With skills. And at the end, they're on top of a building, all of them. And you know, lunatics. Yeah. Violent lunatics. Running amuck. With skills.
And at the end they're on top of a building, all of them.
And you know that means something for sequels.
We'll talk about it.
Are you happy to grind this to a halt for a second?
Yes.
That's right, because it's the return of thoughts and prizes.
Oh, I forgot about that.
This is a special segment of the show,
where I just give a few thoughts.
OK.
And there are prizes to be won.
That includes the people watching this video and you, Mason.
OK.
What is the prize?
Well, when people win, and eventually they will,
I'd imagine, probably even this time,
you win a prize.
What is the criteria for winning a prize
in thoughts and prizes?
You'll find out when you win.
Okay, all right.
So the original cut of this movie
was apparently two hours and 20 minutes,
and my thought on that is, I'm keen on that.
I wanna see it.
I wanna know, I wanna know.
I want more of this. No, you don't. Yes, I do I want to see it. I want to know I want to know I want more of this
No, you don't. Yes, I do. You will regret it. It comes together. I reckon I don't think it would
What if it's just singing like in the Lord of the Rings extended cuts fine?
That's good Bombadil is in it. Well, that's good. Well, finally they put him in that Lord of the Rings show
Finally they doing something right?
So you mentioned this but the Apple can kind, you can unfree will people room to room.
They're going to have to find a way to upscale that for modern audiences and markets.
My question is, but how?
What do you put it on? Can you have it like, you put it on someone's phone and it like projects onto them?
Maybe you can take a photo of it and then do like an email chain or something.
Send this to X number of people, etc.
I reckon you could just post it to a bunch of TikTokers.
Yeah.
Hey everybody, look at the apple that stops violence, whoa!
Or they're pointing, you know, they're like, this apple stops all the world's violence.
Smug look.
You know, and they pass it around, you know.
Oh yeah.
Eventually somebody drops it in a prank.
Yeah, okay.
You know, falls in a pool or something.
That's a bit of a shame. but there's other apples get the one that
The maths one. Yeah, the math's like you do
Calculations right? I don't think that second trend of apples will take off
Yeah, um the Pope's in this I remember at the end of one of the games
I don't remember which one I think it's one of the Italian ones
I remember beating up the Pope at the end. But I guess they're saving that for the
sequel where you get to beat up the Pope.
Mamma Mia! Kei Disastro he says.
You don't want to watch Michael Fassbender beat up the Pope?
No I do, of course I do.
Also, he doesn't, like the Pope doesn't look like he should be fist fighting, like he's
not prepared for an Assassin's Creed.
He doesn't have a cane with a sword in it?
No. That's a shame. Well maybe he does. Maybe he have a cane with a sword in it? No.
That's a shame.
Maybe he does.
Maybe he's got one of the apples in it.
Okay, well look, I would see the extended cut if it was Michael Fassbender beats up
the Pope.
Here's another thought.
This is a question though also.
I want to play Assassin's Creed again, but I hate how they go for 430 hours and you've
also got to build up a town at the same time and purchase different tapestries and you've
got to run hundreds of miles to have boring
conversations with different faction heads or whatever. I like the games and
the first one even did a lot of this where you just point towards a guy and
go hey can you stab that guy and you go all right and then you go there and you
do it and then you run away as everybody chases you. Assassin's Creed Mirage came
out in 2013 is that like I heard it stripped down. Should I get that?
I think you should just take up parkour in real life. Okay, it's easy to start
You just jump off a roof and anything is fixable for now. That's like if I fell under us under a snow. Yeah
Yeah, absolutely. You'd be alright. You'd be you'd be parkour and sick like a bandit. All right
Um, that's the end of thoughts and prizes and I'm just I'm just spinning the wheel. Oh, there's a wheel
This is did I not mention that last time?
You didn't mention a wheel. No. Is there always a wheel? No well it doesn't determine the outcome but it's kind of there's a point system. It's a part of the process I understand.
Oh actually it's just fallen short actually again. Oh wow it could fall short. Yeah it's interesting. Yeah it was close this time actually. Wow. That's really interesting. Anyway, this time for Assassin's trivia Creed
The Assassin's costume this is this is trivia the Assassin's costumes took two to three months each to make and they're all handcrafted
There's eight versions of each costume which the entire costume team devoted to each assassin
Aguilas costume that's Michael Fassbender's character. Probably it's it's got six thousand beads in it and all manually sewn together. Wow bloody bloody two to
three months to make maybe they should get a bloody apple of getting your arse
in gear and whoa getting the work done hey. Also give him the give him the white
one put him in a gray outfit. Yeah I know but that's cool it shows character
growth. I don't think it's. I don't know anything about movies., is this why you're wearing a white burlap sack?
Yeah!
Is this why you've been wearing it for months and why it's so disgusting?
You squelch when you move, James.
It's fine. It's fine, actually.
The editors have to keep taking the squelching out.
Ubisoft gave the prop makers a detailed list of every weapon ever made for the games that they could use as a guide.
Springy knife!
Yeah, there's a bunch of stuff in the background.
Baseball bat for beating up the Pope. That's right. Gun. That cool one. There's only one. Hell yeah.
Oh there is a gun in this. I just remembered. When? It's got that gun. Does he? Yeah. I don't remember.
Or am I thinking about the last movie? I'm thinking about Warcraft. Oh yeah you are. They did have that gun. I tell you what,
last week we talked about Duncan Jones, prior to that we talked about Jake Gyllenhaal. This is another movie about going back in time and looking at some memories. I'm like, man I wish we were
talking about Source Code. When can we do that? I guess I could watch it on my own. I've got content
to make. I could spin the wheel. Oh yeah? It says no. Oh man, it felt like you didn't have time to
spin the wheel there. No I'd already been spinning it
Okay, cuz I knew you're gonna ask. Yeah
There was rumors before this movie was uh was confirmed storyline wise that it would be based on Assassin's Creed 2 and
Robert Downey jr. Would play Leonardo da Vinci. Oh my god. Can you imagine?
It's fun. Yeah, he's an inventor. Well, I just designed a helicopter that just happened
Yeah, yeah, man. Yeah good when Callum is surrounded by projections of these Assassin's ancestors
They're probably from an egg. Yeah, probably from an egg
One of them appears to be Arno Dorian who's the protagonist of Assassin's Creed unity. Wow, you see that Wow
That's a reference. That's good freaking out
Wow, you see that Wow, that's a reference that's good freaking out
Freaking out when Rickin presents Aguilar's Apple to the council. It's seen emitting
Erie this is so stupid. This movie's stupid and boring. You're stupid. I know you're not you're not that boring Thank you. Not as boring as this movie
It's seen emitting an eerie bright green energy
Which is in stark contrast to the apples seen previously
in the games, which emit like a golden yellow energy.
As an apple should.
Yeah, and it's interesting because an in-universe
explanation for this discrepancy, it hasn't been given yet.
This is all the same universe, by the way.
Yeah, of course it is.
The movie set and the games, et cetera.
Yeah, yeah.
Anyway, on a budget of $125 million,
it made 240.7 million so look it made some money
it's not enough obviously sure there was apparently potentially seven films worth
of storylines to do here right okay different different apples probably well
two were confirmed and the second actually went into development during the
production of this film Justin Kurza was planning to shoot a second installment set during the Cold War but apparently this was
cancelled in 2019 when Disney purchased Fox. I think it was cancelled.
Immediately? Yeah a long time before that. But Michael Fassbender he came out
and he said look I did this and it's a missed opportunity. He continued he said
it wasn't ideal I think we missed an opportunity there a little bit.
So we'll wait and see what Ubisoft are coming up with.
But for now, I don't know in terms of the future.
And when asked what he would have done differently,
he said, I would make it more entertaining.
That's really the main note.
The feeling of the film,
I think it took itself too seriously.
Ollie, what are you doing in here?
Stop doing an assassin's creed.
I think it took itself too seriously. Those games are so fucking serious though. Oh, yeah
Oh some of them are the Italian guys not that serious. He's like mama Mia. What am I up to?
And I would make the Pope come here
And I would make the action a lot quicker, I think there's three beginnings of the film which is a mistake I
Think this is better than Prince of Persia because it feels like somebody's idea of something whereas
Prince of Persia is just like what if Pirates of the Caribbean but much worse
so the later Pirates of the Caribbean movies. But this is what if Pirates of the
Caribbean but sadder. Yeah. As I mentioned it's got a sad Escape the
Hangman's Nooth it's sad. Yeah it's good I like how sad it is. It's bad. But you know the
Assassin's Creed franchise is also born out of the Prince of Persia franchise
Because it was gonna start as like a Prince of Persia spin-off and some of the third Prince of Persia game from the
Sansa time trilogy was gonna be Assassin's Creed ish and then they went in the direction of this whole new franchise and then they
Went fuck Prince of Persia and put it in the bin for a real long time. So there's some new games in 2024
That's that's shout out to those two new games.
Shout out to games.
Shout out to games.
You know?
That's what AVGN would do.
He would.
He'd shout out to games.
And he'd say, there's a buffalo stepping on my ass,
or whatever.
I can't believe it.
Hey, have you got the animus on?
Get it out.
Get that thing off.
Also, Michael Fassbender married to Alicia Vikander.
That's true.
Who is Tomb Raider.
Or she was. She was. She was, maybe she's still ball-beat. No, there's, Phoebe Wall to Alicia Vikander. Who is Toon Berader? Or she was?
She was. Maybe she's still a bull-bearing.
No, there's Phoebe Waller-Bridge is doing a series or whatever. There's a new Toon Berader.
We don't know who the new Toon Berader is yet.
Hot Priest.
Hot Priest.
Andrew Scott, yeah.
God, he's hot as fuck.
That's right.
Alright, Mason.
And with those shorts on.
Oh my God. Listen, this is in towards next week. Kick ass movies, Mason.
Oh yeah. I like one of those.
Yeah, you like one of those. You can actually see that early. Did you know that? I did ass movies, Mason. Oh yeah, I like one of those. Yeah, you like one of those.
You can actually see that early, did you know that?
I did know that, yes.
Yeah, you just gotta go to bigsandwich.co,
it's like our private Patreon.
Oh, I thought I'd just ask you.
No, no, no, you gotta pay $9 a month like everybody else.
Oh, all right, that's a bargain price.
It is, I agree.
There's not just early videos, there's exclusive content.
We do movie commentaries, we do video game let's plays,
we do bonus podcasts, and we also, of course, have a a podcast called the weekly planet where we talk movies and comics and TV shows
That comes out every Monday, but Sunday early at Big Sandwich, but that's got its own YouTube channel
Isn't it on Spotify? Yeah, isn't on Apple but not one of these apples probably show a projection of calculations
Absolutely. Mm-hmm. I'm very excited for people to check out our podcast. That's right
Yeah, where James is gonna finally give out that prize
But not at all. I mean I'll do it here. I'll do it in the videos. It's gonna happen
I don't think it is. Why not? Because you haven't planned any of this through
This is this is some sort of this is some sort of trick to drive engagement James
Even though you don't ask anybody to do anything and
There's no point to it. Hey, man, if you don't like it, you don't have anybody to do anything? And there's no point to it? Hey man, if you don't like it you don't have to play.
I'm not!
No one's asking you to play.
Next time can I just leave the room while you're doing it?
Yeah man!
Okay great.
Alright, see you guys on the next one.
Grab that gem you guys, we'll see you next time.
And thank you to Lawrence for the edit.
Thank you Lawrence.