The Weekly Planet - Best of The Weekly Planet 2020
Episode Date: January 11, 2021Visit https://bigsandwich.co/ for a bonus weekly show, exclusive movie commentaries, early stuff and ad-free podcast feeds for $9 per month. Support the show, watch what you want, and protect you...rself with ExpressVPN at https://www.expressvpn.com/weeklyplanetWhilst we're on break Collings has yet again managed the monumental task of putting together the best of compilation of 2020. Absolutely insanity. What a legend. Thanks for all the support and we'll be back on the 26th!Full episode guide and time-codes: http://bit.ly/3bnacPv00:00 The Start02:50 Red Hot Comic Book Movie News01:09:20 Intermission01:11:50 No Time To Die01:17:56 Movies and Topics02:27:30 Hate Mail but 'H8' has an '8' in it02:41:25 What We Reading, What We Gonna Read02:56:33 Letters, it's Time For Letters03:11:51 The EndJames' Twitter â–º http://twitter.com/mrsundaymoviesMaso's Twitter â–º http://twitter.com/wikipediabrown Patreon â–º https://patreon.com/mrsundaymovies TWP iTunes â–º https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-weekly-planet/id718158767?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 TWP Direct Download â–º https://play.acast.com/s/theweeklyplanet TWP YouTube Channel â–º https://goo.gl/1ZQFGH Amazon Affiliate Link â–º https://amzn.to/2QbmwGj T-Shirts/Merch â–º https://www.teepublic.com/stores/mr-sunday-movies Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Discussion (0)
FX's The Veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship between two women who
play a deadly game of truth and lies on the road from Istanbul to Paris and London.
One woman has a secret, the other a mission to reveal it before thousands of lives are lost.
FX's The Veil, starring Elizabeth Moss, is now streaming on Disney+. The Weekly Planet. The Weekly Planet. Okay, James, don't panic. There's a small crisis happening.
Oh, no.
No, I don't need it.
Don't worry, James.
This is me not panicking.
Okay, great.
Okay.
You look a little panicky.
No.
Okay, here's the thing.
So you know how when we started podcasting,
we received that magical podcasting snow globe
and into the snow globe went like all of our funny bits
and all the jokes and all those catchphrases
that our listeners seem to love but their significant others, they don't understand and they kind
of hate it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, 2020 was kind of a rough year and, you know, everybody's been under a little bit
of stress and I've been under a little bit of stress and look, I'm kind of ashamed to
admit it, but I held onto that snow globe and I said, I wish we'd never been podcasters
at all in 2020.
Oh.
So time kind of unravelled a little bit.
That's okay.
I'm okay with that.
No, but James.
It wasn't any movies.
It's fine.
Well, that's true.
And I mean, also, you know, what happened was time unravelled
and we sort of became, it turns out we stopped being podcasters
at the end of 2019 and we became successful businessmen,
which explains our shoulders right now.
Absolutely it does.
Yeah, yeah.
And look.
It explains the neglect of my family I now have.
Definitely.
I didn't have any time, Mason.
I'm on the phone, Mason.
I can't even record this.
Deadbeat dad looks good on you.
But here's the thing.
Look, for a while I'm like, this is great.
We're making $50,000 a year.
This is incredible.
I'm loving it.
But then I'm like, James, James, we owe it to the listeners.
We've got to get back in there.
We've got to bring joy to the world. And I think what we've got to do is We've got to get back in there. We've got to bring joy to the world.
And what we've got to do is we've got to get in this time portal
and we've got to go back in time and we've got to repeat all our best bits
because we're the only people who remember the best bits from this year.
We're going to repeat them all exactly as they were.
And I'm talking exactly, James.
Okay.
So if you think of a better joke, can't use it.
What if I think of a worse joke?
Yeah, well, we can probably squeeze that in.
Yeah, that won't affect the time stream so much.
If we make a very obvious factual error, got to keep it in.
Leave it in.
No problem.
I'm going to go with that.
What if we get lots of emails?
The emails go into the globe, James.
Oh, yeah.
That's okay.
So, you know, if we say, you know, something like the Irish actor,
Donal Gleeson is British.
Yeah.
We got to keep that in.
I mean, something like that.
I mean, he is British.
Not that specifically.
But something similar to that.
In the vein of that.
Exactly.
So, yeah.
All right.
So, are you all set, James?
Can we do an ad just to kind of feel like we can get the rhythm back in the middle?
James, selling out is what podcasting is all about.
That's the magic of podcasting.
I knew it.
All right.
You ready, James?
I'm ready.
Let's go into the time portal.
Whoa!
Time travel noises. I hope Colin's go into the time portal. Time travel noises.
I hope Colin's put in the time travel noises.
Right?
That would be embarrassing if I put in the time travel noises.
It would be just two men going, whoa, in a room.
It would be weird.
Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of the Weekly Planet, where we talk movies
and comics and TV shows.
My name is James, also known as Mr. Sunday.
With me, as always, is my co-host, Nick Mason.
It's great to be here.
We've got big news of the week, don't we, Mason? The biggest news of
this week, obviously, is while the
theme was playing, I asked James
later, during our famous segment, what we
read and what we're going to read. James,
are you going to interject with the
word Westworld, which I feel
confuses new listeners.
And he said he promised he wouldn't.
I didn't say promise. And also,
if anything, the initial theme song is off-putting.
If they get it that far, I feel like they're in.
I could say anything at that point.
Also, this thing that I'm saying currently is also off-putting
for new listeners, I think.
But for any new listeners, we do a segment later called
What We Read and What We Gonna Read.
And for the last few weeks, James has interjected in the theme song
by saying West world really loud yes
and i find i find that off-putting so i cannot imagine how off-putting people who are listening
to this episode for the first time are feeling now because they could be completely lost they
don't even know what this show is about i'm already like james you know later when we do the thing
well don't say the the thing you know but i will say it god damn it but I might not oh
yeah
so the reason though
I was going to bring up that
is because
oh actually
this is our famous segment
move up
more like boo
everything is awful
that's the
doesn't matter
let's not
I do too many
let's not do callbacks anymore
let's not reference
any previous show
that we've ever done
okay
alright
so wait
so in this
so in this scenario do we have to assume that the listeners don't know who we
are either?
Yes, absolutely.
Okay, so we have to, we have introduced ourselves.
I think I should just rename.
James, James, James, this is a chance to start fresh.
Yeah.
We can invent whole new backstories for ourselves.
Let's go.
I drive a tram for my job.
I'm sad.
Well, you know, life finds a way doesn't it certainly does yeah but uh i'll
just rename every episode episode one so whenever you come in you're like ah ground floor here we
go yeah that's perfect that's what people are i a person on the internet loves to do try a new thing
new and untested yeah it's news time mason big this week. This is what I'm doing. I'm going to talk about Jurassic World, Westworld, Batman News.
World.
Batman News World.
That's right.
Big shift in DC Comics, and then we've got some controversial comic stuff to talk about.
How's that?
I'm working that into the intro.
A bit of sizzle.
Oh, that's good.
I like it.
You didn't like it last week.
What's changed?
I didn't see any examples last week.
You could have given me a fresh shot at it.
You know, you could have explained.
A free-flowing lift?
Yeah, free-flowing lift.
Great.
Thank you.
That's all I ask for.
Time codes, as always, are in the description
if you do want to jump around.
Jurassic World 3 news.
Chris Pratt has said it's going to feel very much like
how Endgame brought everything together for Marvel.
So you know how there was one and maybe a half good
Jurassic Park world.
I remember that, yeah.
Or in general movies. Which ones of those do you like go uh bear in mind i know you haven't seen two or
three oh uh yeah well we've had this discussion i feel like they're all approximately equal
in my opinion every movie with jurassic in the title is approximately equal but people are
gonna write it and say like what about Jurassic Velocipasta or whatever,
all those ones that come out?
Or what about Jurassic Dinosaur Space Attack?
What about Cretaceous World?
It doesn't have Jurassic in the title, does it?
Well, they're all on the same page as far as I'm concerned.
Well, you seem like a bit of a Jurassic snark,
if you don't mind me saying so, Mason.
I don't mind you saying so because that's a delightful turn of phrase.
Thank you.
So.
I mean, I'm like a velociraptor at like a hair salon
and I've got the big hair dryer on my head
and I'm getting my nails done and I'm like,
didn't like that laugh.
I don't think Jurassic Park's as good as everyone says it is.
I'm drinking a white wine.
I'm getting real saucy.
It's the middle of the day, but you don't mind.
You don't go to work.
I've got nothing to do.
I'm just here for snack.
So what I think. You don't go to work. I've got nothing to do. I'm just here for snark. Not as a clever girl as everyone says.
So what I think he really means by this is like the original cast is back
because it's Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum.
And then they're all going to line up and punch all the dinosaurs,
I assume.
Do you feel like there is going to be a massive disconnect
between the Jeff Goldblum of Jurassic Park and Jeff Goldblum
who exists now, who's a massive goofball?
He's a bit of a goofball in the first one.
Takes a serious turn in two because he's very much the one who's like,
I fucking hate this island of dinosaurs.
Why are we back in this island?
Why am I doing this?
He's kind of a goofy jazz man now.
He isn't like a sexy open shirt guy anymore.
That's exactly right.
I think people are going to be like, what the hell?
What's going on here?
I'm okay with this.
I think he can pull it off.
He was in that New Independence Day and he pretty much did.
He can slip back into that.
Well, he can certainly try.
Oh, no.
Jurassic Snark again.
You're on the source too early.
I don't like it.
It's always happy hour somewhere. Oh, do you got more Jurassic Snark again. You're on the source too early. I don't like it. It's always happy hour somewhere.
Oh, do you got more Jurassic snark thoughts?
Yeah, maybe I do.
I don't know.
Where do you think the plot's going to go this time around?
Well, they're in the world.
Oh, they're in the world.
That's true.
It's a true Jurassic world.
Yeah.
You on board?
Yeah.
Looks like your Jurassic bark is not as bad as your bite, Mason,
or the other way around.
Is that right?
Well, you would say that because you're a dumb bitch.
Hey, you've got to get off the source, man.
I won't.
You're not making this easy for me.
Sorry.
Got a hot scoop, Mason.
Oh, my goodness.
Exclusive hot scoop too hot.
How?
Now, remember, if you're from the trades, if you're from A Trade,
minor website, major website, If you're Variety magazine.
If you're from WeGotThisCovered.com,
renowned for not being accurate with your rumours and scoops.
Somebody on Twitter looked into it and apparently it's like 1.3%
of their articles turn out to be accurate or something like that.
And a lot of that's chance, I'd imagine.
I'd say so, yeah.
It's chance and roughly guessing.
That's less than like a coin flip, like much less than a coin flip.
Yeah, for sure.
Anyway, for those trades listening and we got this covered.com,
this is our hot scoop or shot of poop segment.
Yes.
So if you're quoting this hot scoop, you have to say where it's from,
what it's called, and you have to stipulate that if the scoop turns out
to be wrong, one of the hosts, James, Mr. Sunday Movies,
has to, I guess, drink a shot of poop.
I mean, it's never been entirely clear.
But that's the rules and I don't make the rules.
You do make the rules.
You need to be clear that I don't make the rules.
But we have to abide by the rules and that is if this is wrong,
James has to do a shot of poop.
This all must be in the article.
Yeah, absolutely.
We've been loose with the rules before.
And they have to be like 300 words long.
I know that for SEO.
So this is good if you can explain all this up top before the scoop.
Put it in the first few paragraphs.
You need like five to six paragraphs of nothingness before you get to the thing.
So we all have to scroll past the ads and the little click things
for the mobile games or whatever.
So just put the filler in, the things we said.
And here's the scoop.
Okay.
Is this anything?
Yeah, no, I think so.
Okay.
I can't say who this is from,
but basically Michelle Yeoh is going to be starring in Shang-Chi.
She's not on the cast list.
I Googled her and it hasn't been mentioned.
It's a Mandarin story.
Maybe she'll be Mandarin.
Oh, twist. Yeah. But, you know, don't put that in the article because then people are like, a woman. It's a Mandarin story. Maybe she'll be Mandarin. Oh, twist.
Yeah.
But, you know, don't put that in the article
because then people are like,
a woman can't be a Mandarin.
A woman can't be a dragon or a Mandarin or anything.
A woman can't wear rings, ten rings.
A woman's hands aren't strong enough for ten rings.
Only a man can hold ten rings.
She'd be too encumbered by the rings.
She couldn't leap high enough.
Does one of them mean that she's married?
I hope so.
Oh, God.
Okay, so the other one is that she's also going to be returning
for Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 as Starhawk.
Of course, she shows up as one of the original Guardian members in Volume 2,
so she will be back.
So she's going to have two roles in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
It's happened before.
Gemma Chan was in Captain Marvel and she's going to be in Eternals.
Yeah.
The guy, that cop from Avengers was also Peggy Carter's boyfriend
until Captain America stole her.
That's right.
So, yeah, that cucked cop, put that in your article.
People will love it.
So anyway, I really like Michelle Yeoh and that's cool, I think.
Yeah, wow.
Anyway, hot scoop, shot or poop segment, the Weekly Planet Podcast.
Yep.
Especially you, we got this covered.
That's right.
We're watching.
We're watching you.
We like what you do.
That's right.
But you're bad at it.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
We like your spirit.
Yeah.
We like your can-do attitude.
Yeah.
But you should stop.
I mean, we're probably more accurate than 1%, and that's unacceptable, quite frankly.
Okay, Star Wars Forever, Mason.
Oh, yep.
Fair enough.
So.
I thought we were free of it.
No, Mason.
A few glorious weeks, we were free of it.
The Mandalorian was finished.
People had stopped talking about The Rise of Skywalker.
Have they?
People are doing the Ben Solo shrug on Twitter.
I guess they're doing that, yeah.
They're all doing it.
It's a good shrug.
Yeah.
It's my favourite bit.
In other Star Wars news.
Oh, that's what we're doing.
That's what we're doing.
MovieWeb have reported there was a visual effects artist,
Neil Scanlon, came on, very famous.
Like Neil Scanline.
Yeah, Scanlines.
He was talking about the Cassian Andor series.
You've been at home by yourself for a long time, haven't you?
Can you tell?
Yes.
I reduced the urge to drink during this as well because I'm like,
man, I need a drink.
I haven't been drinking for a long time.
Why are you so thin?
I'm just thinking about getting into it, you know what I mean?
What would you first drink back in?
I've got a good whiskey that I want to kind of bust out at some point.
Just mix it with like a RC Cola or something.
I'll mix it with gasoline. I don't care,
mate.
So, no, I'm
trying to keep healthy because that's one way
you can combat this. So,
I'm still doing my exercises every day.
I work out videos and fucking hate
them. Are you making workout videos? No, I'm not making.
What am I, bloody Scott
Handsome doing that on Instagram?
Who's Scott Handsome?
That's my account that I've created.
It's an alter ego.
Well, then I guess you are Scott Handsome.
It's me.
Is this some sort of meta advertisement for Scott Handsome,
your fitness alter ego?
But all right, go ahead.
It's me, sleeveless tee, board shorts.
I don't barefoot.
I do it on grass.
Bandana.
What do you think?
Can it be a bandana that makes it look like you're balding heavily
but you're covering it up with a bandana?
It's pulled right back, yes.
I've got the head for that, definitely.
Could you pivot to –
Because I think people would like that, definitely. Could you pivot to Scott Hanson?
Because I think people would like that.
I think people would like that.
I think people, you know who there are a lot of out there
that I'm sure can relate to you?
Stressed dads who are inside a lot with their kids
and they're worried they're going to get real fast.
Oh, Scott Hanson's been taken.
He's not even that handsome.
All right, Scott Hanson, 69, 420.
Okay, that's perfect.
Oh, my God.
I don't have time to do this.
What am I even talking about?
To do this.
But, I mean, look, all I'm saying is if you're going to do it,
you may as well turn it into content.
Does it have to be real workouts?
I mean, are you going to write gag workouts?
I don't know.
Am I?
Look, all you have to do is set up a laptop outside and have like a professional exercise
guy, like a professional workout guy, YouTube video on the laptop and then just copy him.
Yeah, just do the movements.
And film yourself and then put it in.
And not credit, right?
Not credit, exactly.
Perfect.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But just be more manic and more relatable.
Okay, I can do that.
What are we talking about?
Scott Anson.
There's going to be a Lando series with Justin Simien.
But with Donald Glover, do you think?
Probably.
They could do some Billy Dee Williams future stuff.
They could do, yeah, they could do.
The Calrissian Chronicles thing.
Yeah, they could do, yeah, edutainment.
Edutainment.
Donald Lando, and then he's there, and he's like,
I remember when I was young and I learned about math.
And then he recounts the events of the rise of Skywalker.
Yes, exactly.
And then they went, they fell into a pit by coincidence
and there was a snake in there.
And they didn't kill the snake, they healed the snake.
Like later killing.
That's right.
And then they found a knife.
And then they went to a different planet.
Then they used geometry.
They found my daughter or she's not my daughter.
My girlfriend, my future girlfriend.
And then they held up the knife to the Death Star.
I blew up the Death Star.
That's a story for another day.
And then they had to get on a boat, and they went on the boat.
They went in separate boats.
They went all the way over the water to the Death Star.
That's right.
But it was the remnants of the Death Star and the throne had fallen.
Do you know how many people are doing this?
I like a Lando Calrissian rambling story.
He's 80.
And then I purchased some more capes.
I like a cape.
I'll tell you that much.
Because you keep it warm, keeps you warm, but then you've got your arms free.
If you want to shoot a blaster, maybe.
You want a loosey-goosey blaster grip?
You want to fire your blaster?
Well. That reminds me of my friend Han Solo,
who, by the way, appeared as a force ghost
or something in The Rise of Skywalker.
He spoke to Adam Driver and they convinced him.
Haven't seen him in a while.
I hope he didn't make his son kill him.
That's, you know...
Should be good.
I think it should be good.
More details on the Obi-Wan series.
How about this?
Yeah, ready, go.
Old Lando and young Lando team up through the magic time travel tree.
Yeah, whatever.
They need to bring back that time travel tree, don't they?
For this show.
Yeah.
Right?
And they compare clips.
And Lando's like, oh, I'm not listening to you, old man.
What does he say?
Well, then what happened is we're all on the side of a Star Destroyer
and we're all on horses, I think.
We're all on a bunch of horses.
I actually wasn't on a horse.
I was flying in the Millennium Falcon.
That's right.
I was with Chewbacca.
He's from different Star Wars movies also.
Nevertheless, everyone else was on a horse and they were on the horses
and they were on the, you don't see that very often,
some horses on a Star Destroyer.
When Princess Leia died, I didn't mention this,
but she was under a sheep and then the sheep, like,
it fell when she disappeared and nobody said anything.
I thought it was weird.
I'd never seen anything like that before.
I thought maybe she'd rolled under the table,
but then I looked under the table and she wasn't there.
And that was basically the only place she could have been
if she had rolled off the table.
So.
And that was basically the only place she could have been if she had rolled off the table.
So.
This is stupid.
He's senile.
He's senile now, but he's still cool.
He's got his stories.
Yeah.
Here's something that I think could be absolutely, I'll make it.
This is what I think.
Okay.
Is it Gambit?
Is Gambit back on the slate?
I'm not talking about Gambit anymore, okay?
All right. I'm banned. Gambit took on this slate? Not talking about Gambit anymore, okay? All right.
I'm banned Gambit talk on this podcast.
Wow.
What do you think that sign says?
There's no Gambit talk.
So according to producer Dan Lin.
It says Gambit talk.
No, no, no.
It says no Gambit talk.
I guarantee.
No riffing on the sign.
That counts as Gambit talk, all right?
Damn it.
Damn it.
At least I got a few in.
So we've got some release dates here.
Yes.
You interested in the Falcon and Winter Soldier release dates?
No.
Just kidding, I am.
Oh, good.
August, WandaVision, December.
Okay.
Mandalorian Season 2, October.
So we go three Disney Plus stuff happening at least this year.
They are absolutely banking on people not cancelling their Disney Plus subscriptions.
I don't think it's...
For six months.
Well, if you cancelled it...
Yeah.
I'm on my family thing, we've all got...
Yeah, right.
But I'd come back for this anyway.
Yeah, no, for sure.
So, you know, I think once they start, they're not really going to stop.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Once the first one kicks off...
And also, I say that, but I haven't cancelled Disney Plus yet.
That's what I'm talking about, Mason.
Did you do the year-long thing?
No, I did not.
A month to month.
So you thought you'd save money.
Well, I could if I cancelled it.
That's what I'm saying.
But you haven't, have you, Mason?
But I haven't.
That's how they get us, yes.
You didn't get me.
Got my dumb brother or parents, whoever did it.
We all share all the accounts.
Wow.
I'm telling on you to Disney.
Good.
I want them to come here.
I'll punch every one of them.
Put them in a line.
Don't even put them in a line.
They'll do a pile on.
You'll punch the mouse?
Yes.
I'll punch the mouse.
Wow.
I'll punch your dad, Bob Iger.
Wow.
I don't even give a shit, mate.
Wow.
Yeah.
Will you punch?
Do I have to fight all the actors that are ripped?
They're probably so dehydrated, I bet I could.
No, they probably wouldn't make the trip.
They're just sending animated characters.
Okay. Would you punch Goofy? Dog. I don't probably wouldn't make the trip. They're just sending animated characters. Okay.
Would you punch Goofy?
Dog, I don't know if he would.
But he's also a humanoid dog.
No, which is the...
Pluto is the regular dog.
I wouldn't punch Pluto, but I'd punch Goofy.
Would you punch Minnie Mouse?
No.
Would you punch Huey, Dewey or Louie?
Yes.
I'd line them up and I'd punch them.
Crackle their heads together?
Crackle their heads together, that's right.
Wow.
Not a problem.
I'd punch a duck.
I don't give a shit.
So you'd punch Launchpad McQuack?
Yeah, he's got a...
I don't know if I could actually take out Launchpad McQuack.
He's pretty big, right?
But he's also kind of a goof.
But is he big for a duck?
Or is he like a man-sized duck?
Because if that door opened, like if that door swung open
and a man-sized Launchpad McQuack came in
who's as wide as he is tall, I'd be terrified.
Yeah, but he could also be that 1950s kind of fit.
Yeah.
Just a barrel-chested man who's not really, you know, duck man.
Plus he's very top-heavy, so I guess if he kicked his legs at him,
he'd just fall over.
Yeah.
Also, none of these dudes can fly.
So, you know.
That's true.
Would you punch Scrooge McDuck?
Fuck yes.
That's what I figured.
He'd be the first one I'd punch.
Right?
And he's got that take his stick.
I'd take his stick.
He'd wallop people with his stick. We'll come back to this. I'm just going to think of- I'd punch. And he's got that take his stick. I'd take his stick. Wallop people with a stick.
We'll come back to this.
I'm just going to think.
I'd punch Masupalami.
I don't care.
I don't know what that is.
It's like he's got a long tail.
I'd punch Darkwing Duck.
He'd beat me though.
Yeah, maybe.
He's got a grappling gun.
Would you punch that weird black and white guy that was the precursor to Mickey Mouse,
whatever his name, like Walter the Rabbit or whatever he's called?
Yes, I would.
Wow.
Wow.
He'd be like, what did I do?
And I'm like, you know what you did.
You started this.
Would you punch Mickey Mouse?
I know I've said that, but would you punch Mickey Mouse in character
as Steamboat Willie and he's controlling that steamboat
and if you punch him, that steamboat is going to go over like a waterfall
or something.
Everybody's going to die.
On that steamboat?
Yeah.
Oh, cartoons.
I don't care.
Wow.
Whatever.
Wow.
Whatever, Mason. Wow. Punch Roger Rabbit? Who's he with? Yeah. How about cartoons? I don't care. Wow. Whatever. Wow. Whatever, Mason.
Wow.
Punch Roger Rabbit.
Who's he with?
I don't even know.
I don't know.
I think that's independent.
Punch him too.
Wow.
He bridged barriers there.
Where's he been?
Good question.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Comes back now for a fight?
Yeah.
Get out of here.
That's a good point.
Yeah.
Anyway, this is our new segment.
Which Disney characters Would James Pudge
Yeah
They're cartoons right
Yeah
Or are they to real life
They're not costumes
Is what I'm saying obviously
Or they're not like
CGI representations
Of the way that like
Scooby do in the movies
They're Roger Rabbit style
They're actual cartoons
Yeah cool no problem
Easy
Easy down
Punch Lady or the Tramp
No
Neither Interesting Neither They're just in love Just let them Leave them alone One's a tramp One's a lady Yeah, cool. No problem. Easy. Easy down. Punch lady or the tramp? No.
Neither.
Neither.
They just didn't love it.
Just let them.
Leave them alone.
One's a tramp.
One's a lady.
That's true.
Unless.
You'll eat your words when they're garroting you with that piece of spaghetti.
They'd be too busy eating it.
I guess that's probably true, yeah.
Can they do it together?
Yeah, they do it together.
Just slice my head off with it. Yes.
That would be my downfall.
You're right.
Yeah.
Anyway, in other news, because we do have other news.
Good.
Okay.
Kevin Smith said earlier this week that he heard a rumor Charlie Cox is going to be Peter Parker's lawyer in Spider-Man Far From Three Home.
Far From Three Home.
Home.
Yeah.
Far From Throne.
But then he retracted that and said he actually just heard it somewhere else on the internet because there were rumors of that.
Sure.
He heard it on WeGotThis internet because there were rumors of that uh sure but we got this covered probably but uh so i i do wonder also the logistics of that because
not only do you have to get marvel on board to say okay we want these characters they're characters
that are technically don't don't exist anymore maybe yeah i don't know what form they exist in
that's true i think they should bring charlie cox back as daredevil in some form i think he's great
i think you could work him in.
I think you could work all of those guys into movies if you
wanted to. All the greats.
Jessica Jones, Luke Cage,
Daredevil, Stick,
The Punisher,
Foggy Nelson,
Karen.
And that's all the characters. The Black Cat.
Yes. No, Yellow Cat.
The Cat. Hell Cat. Hell Cat. Yes. The guys at the bar. The black cat. Yes. No, yellow cat. The cat. Hell cat.
Hell cat.
Yes.
The guys at the barbershop where Luke Cage works.
Yeah, yeah.
That guy who trained with the Iron Fist.
Yeah, just him though.
Kingpin.
Kingpin.
He's great.
Vincent D'Onofrio is good.
The owl man.
Yeah.
He was dead, but bring him back.
Some of the actual owls. Maybe they're in the background in New York, Central Park.
Maybe there's an owl.
That guy who works for the newspaper and he dies in the first season.
He's killed, but bring him back. The dude who works for the newspaper and he dies in the first season.
He's killed, but bring him back.
The dude who gets his head mashed in a car door.
The drunk kung fu guy.
Remember him?
Oh, yeah, sure.
Yeah.
These are all great.
The guy that made the Daredevil suit.
The buzzsaw boy.
Sigourney Weaver.
Yep, she'd be good.
It's the Dragon Bones.
Dig him up.
Dig up the Dragon Bones.
That building.
Rebuild it.
That'd be great, yeah.
Just a background newspaper that says The Hulk?
Oh, yeah, nice.
An incident?
Yeah, all of those.
All the greats, obviously.
But to be clear, not Iron Fist.
He's all right.
I know, I know.
I'm just kidding.
Yeah, it's fun to make fun of him.
But also somebody would email in and be like,
you didn't mention Iron Fist.
We know.
I know you're going to love this because you are the one who's in love
with the characters from the animal Robin Hood.
No matter how many times you say it,
the evidence points in the other direction.
The evidence points to you accusing me of that the first time we brought it up.
And then you going, yep, you got me.
Incorrect. I said
something along the lines of, I bet it
awakened things in a lot of furries.
Which again, I don't have a problem with.
Okay. But do whatever
thing the thing is that you're interested in.
Yiffing is what they're into. Yeah, there you go.
So you would know, Mason.
Or I would know. Yeah, because I hang out with you
and you're always talking about it.
So anyway, that movie from 1973, whenever it came out,
it's getting a remake.
Yes.
When I first saw it, it said like Robin Hood's getting a reboot
and I'm like, are you fucking kidding me with this?
Right, because we just had one, yeah.
Didn't we just do this four times?
But we didn't have an animated adaptation which is going to use probably,
one would hope, like anthropomorphic,
like computer animated versions of the ones from the cartoon.
More Zootopia than Lion King.
Right.
Because how are they going to hold the little bows and arrows?
How are they going to be sexy is the thought you're having.
No, it's not.
It was not and it shan't be.
But it's interesting that's where your mind went.
No, I'm saying what you were thinking.
No, I wasn't thinking that.
Oh, okay.
I was thinking about their little bows and arrows.
Okay, sure you were.
And the little sheriff of Nottingham.
Yeah.
And where's he put his little badge?
I assume he has one.
Yeah, probably.
Yeah.
Genuinely, without talking about who accusing each other of who thinks it's sexy or not,
are either of us interested in this in a non-sexual way?
Because I know this seems like it's like i'm
leading you into a trap seems like a trap but i'm not i can even go first even though that is me
falling into my own trap okay go for it i think this is a decent idea wow because you can update
it and you can use the technology that's been built upon in a property that wasn't recently
remembered what you're saying is you want to wear a VR headset and go into the sexy world of Robin Hood animated.
I didn't say that.
Oh, okay.
Just to clarify, I didn't say any of that.
You made the universal hand gesture for I'm going to put on a VR headset
and go into the sexy world of the Robin Hood animated movie.
I didn't say sexy world.
You said sexy world.
Wow.
Yeah, so.
What about the Jamie Foxx version?
I don't hate it, if I'm honest.
I don't remember hating it either.
I don't hate it.
I think it's fine.
I don't think I would be able to sit through it
again. Oh no, I'm not watching it ever again.
But, you know, I think that movie's fine.
But not sexy. Interesting.
It might be the sexiest version we ever get.
Though unlikely with this coming out. Said you.
That's what you think. Anyway!
This isn't over.
We're going to do sexy
Robin Hood news every week.
Now, you mentioned this before the show,
and I've just written it down because I need someone to explain it to me.
Yes.
Quibi.
What is it?
I keep hearing people going, boo, boo, we hate this.
You've made a very dramatic leap there in assuming that I know what Quibi is.
Well, why did you bring it up?
I just wrote Quibi and I put a question mark
because I'm not entirely sure what it is.
It appears to be
a short form streaming service.
So it's like Netflix.
It's got original content on it,
but all the content
is like 10 minutes long.
So it's like episodes of things,
but they're 10 minutes long.
And the main selling point,
as I understand it,
is you can watch it
on your phone in landscape.
You can also watch it in portrait.
Excuse me?
You can watch television. I said in portrait excuse me you can watch television
i said excuse me you can watch television as it was intended in portrait mode on your phone
anyway quibi short form but it's original content apparently there's there's a there's a horror
short on there called the golden arm it's like a black mirror-esque Oh, and Westworld's in it Yeah But anyway
Does she become obsessed with her golden arm?
She becomes obsessed with her golden arm
Okay, so is this something you would get though?
Because in all honesty
Some of those things you said doesn't sound terrible
To me
The portrait orientation
But I'm glad you're open with that
Because I've kind of forgotten it
The idea of a sexy golden arm that you fall in love with.
Yep.
Yeah.
Anyway, so this woman gets her arm chopped off in like a lumberjack-related accident
and then she gets a golden prosthetic arm.
Spoiler alert.
Okay.
Terrific.
She falls in love with it?
Spoiler alert.
She loves it so much that she falls ill and dies from pulmonary gold disease after refusing
to swap the arm for a non-gold one.
There's a great scene in which a doctor, this is from
GQ UK. There are some great
scenes in which the doctor all but warns her that her blood is more gold than iron and when she refuses to
remove the arm, her husband, who let's remember loves her more than anything, simply
shrugs as if to say, shucks doc, looks like we've got to let her die then.
This article also says I won't spoil the ending, so maybe something
even spookier happens. But anyway, this clearly surpasses
anything that, you know, the best of Black Mirror. Yeah, absolutely.
That's cool. I don't even know where to go with that. I mean, any premise can be good,
so maybe it's amazing. I don't know.
Yeah, okay.
That's cool.
Anyway, we've got to move it along.
We can't talk about Quibi anymore?
No.
Okay.
All right, fine.
Oh, Quibi is out of business apparently.
And didn't the person who runs it was like,
I went out of business because it was a bad time to launch
because of quarantine.
It's the best time to launch it.
It's absolutely the best time.
You fucked it.
That's right.
You could not have picked a better time.
Although, look, I see the justification there.
Maybe because it seems like it was phone worthy.
It's small screen stuff.
And maybe he was like, oh, okay, well, this is a show you watch
when you get on the train.
You've got ten minutes before you stop,
so maybe you watch a new episode of something on your phone.
Yeah, but people are going, like, Dunny, aren't they, mate?
They've always got the Dunny, don't they?
That means toilet in Australian.
Yeah.
Just for everybody who doesn't know.
So, yeah, but I still watch stuff on my phone.
Yeah.
Like, if I get a spare moment to, like, stand in the cabin
and watch something while my kids are screaming.
Or if you're in the Dunny.
Or if I'm just in the Dunny.
Yeah, taking a Grogan.
That's right.
That's Australian for big shit. So, yeah so yeah so do you want to see the the greatest
game where one of the hemsworths is hunted kind of yeah i guess depending on the hemsworth
obviously depending on the hemsworth yeah quick ask me which one which one all of them any of them
that was a trick question any of them i'll watch them all which luke hemsworth i'm up to date on
the last figure it out because of westworld. Because of Westworld. Because of Westworld.
That's right.
That's fantastic.
Have you seen that photo of them where they're in like a bar fight?
No.
They just look like furious and huge.
I do remember that though.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Would you fight the Hemsworth brothers?
No way.
No way.
I mean, it depends what was over, I guess.
He'd kill you.
Yeah, well, it'd be a good fight though, I reckon.
Yeah, for him. Yeah, I guess. He'd kill you. Yeah, well it'd be a good fight though, I reckon. Yeah, for him. Yeah, I know.
He'd get a
cool, some sort of cool security
camera footage where he'd still be looking incredible.
You're not wrong. Yeah. Here's a bit of news.
I love news. For you, speaking of
Star Wars. Are you talking about Star Trek?
Yes. There's
CBS All Access have ordered a full
season of Star Trek,
whatever it's called.
Captain Pike.
Yes.
Did you watch Picard?
No, I didn't finish it.
You know what's good about that show?
It ends?
Yeah, that's, yes.
You were going to do that?
I was going to boo, but you got it in one.
For the listener, James even put his hands around his mouth.
I leaned out of the mic mic to not to not blow
all your ears and headphones yeah uh and i stole your thunder you did that's okay do it again
i'm happy for it thank you i can't wait till the hemsworth brothers get you yeah i can't wait
either oh my god i'm gonna get papped you're gonna be famous i'm gonna i'm gonna reblog it
on instagram the security footage it's gonna be great. What else have you got in news?
I've also got some news. Yeah, okay.
Timothy Olyphant, I did mention that.
A lot of people are dead. The Olyphant Man.
I would
never stoop that low as to say the
Olyphant Man. Yeah, I would.
Obviously. Good. But he's clearly
not, like, if he was hideously ugly,
that would be like, that's a bit rough.
Yeah, right. But who am I hurting? If I said that to him, he'd be like, he wouldn hideously ugly, that would be like, that's a bit rough. Yeah, right. But who am I hurting?
Like if I said that to him, he'd be like, he wouldn't be like, hey, he's okay with it.
No, I wouldn't.
I would stoop to an insult.
I just wouldn't stoop to a play on words of that level, of that caliber, James.
Okay, well, I can understand that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I can see why you might be justified in doing so.
It's pretty good.
It's pretty good.
Thank you.
It's pretty good.
What do you have, James?
So the new Mutants has a release date still of August 28th.
I don't know if you saw it.
I couldn't tell you what the link was,
but some joke news website said recently.
More like old mutants?
Did they make that joke?
No, that's our fresh classic joke.
It was Quibi commits to releasing one minute of new mutants
every year for the next 90 years.
And we all had a big old laugh.
Yeah.
And then now they've released the first two minutes.
Yes.
Which makes this the way this movie's going.
It looks pretty good.
It looks good.
And the trailer as well looks good. I'm way more interested in this than I this movie's going. It looks pretty good. It looks good. And the trailer as well looks good.
I'm way more interested in this than I was in Dark Phoenix.
Oh, totally, because it looks different than every other X-Men movie.
They're fighting a bear.
They're fighting a bear, and that's cool,
because, yeah, so there's a clip released in a new trailer.
They're fighting a bear, and a life's in grave danger,
and you don't even care.
Hand me that shotgun.
And also that chair.
It's a real song.
Yeah.
But Big Bear, though.
There is a Big Bear.
There's a big Smokey Bear, yeah.
Smokey Bear.
It's Smokey the Bear's secondary mutation.
Oh, really?
He's become a bear of actual smoke.
I don't like that.
I don't like it.
Which is ironic for him because he wanted to stop forest fires.
Did he?
Yeah.
Yeah.
What a fool.
You become the thing that you hate.
The thing that you hate, exactly.
Something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Live long enough to become the smoky bear.
That's right.
Exactly right.
So I think, I don't know whether they're going to keep this release date,
but my understanding is, and we've talked about it before,
Disney are under contract, which was part of the $70 billion deal with Fox
when they bought this property among all the others.
You know, the money comes through Disney Plus, really.
That's where they're making their money.
Yes.
And Merchant.
I know they're bigger than.
No movies is what I'm saying.
Yeah.
And Parks.
Minnie Mouse body pillows.
Exactly.
So.
Sorry.
Lady Mary and the Fox body pillows.
Is that.
Laugh Mason.
Yes, at you.
Because you're a perv.
Actually, we watched that the other night.
What's that?
That Robin Hood movie.
Oh, yeah.
It's got a charm to it.
It's not sexy, though, like you think it is.
I don't think that.
You think that.
I nearly tweeted a picture of it.
I'm like, why fan the flames of this?
It is.
But you can't stop it, can you, with the internet?
You can't stop it.
No.
The internet decides what the things that you're attracted to are.
I mean, there's more videos to watch this week.
Yes.
Specifically, I've got one here.
I've written here, Henry Cavill is just like us.
It's just like us.
He put an Instagram video up where he put a PC together.
Exactly, yeah.
Here's the thing about this, Mason.
I hate nerds that are like different things than the nerdy things that I like.
I mock them for their things that they enjoy.
I can see your fury rising, like visibly.
I can see a redness come out of your neck and then fill up your head.
Anyway, good on him.
And he loves The Witcher, the video games as well.
He's a big gamer.
He's just like us.
He's just like us.
I'm a different kind of nerd and I don't like him.
You're a non-technical nerd.
The worst kind.
Yeah, I know, right?
Useless. Skillless.
You know what I hate about a lot
of that kind of the graphics card-y stuff
and the fancy modems and the chairs
and could we get like a gamer
chair that doesn't look like
like a baby's car
seat mixed with a monster energy
design.
You know what I mean? What about a nice leather-bound chair?
A baby's car seat, but it's also got, like, big gulp.
Yeah, exactly.
Some of the baby's car seats have those.
Yeah, right.
But, yeah, do you know what I mean?
No, I know what you mean.
Like a proper fucking chair.
Or like a gentleman's chair.
I don't know, just a chair.
You know how hard it is to just find a chair, like a computer chair?
Just like a plastic folding chair.
Whatever.
No, I want something comfortable, but they're ridiculous.
Oh, I know.
And they've got this super high back.
You know what I mean?
And just like neon, glowing neon stripes around everything.
Just a fucking chair, man.
Yeah.
Because I really struggle with chairs.
Look at these chairs I got.
I'm not happy about it.
They're all right.
They're fine.
Yeah, you know, but they're okay.
They're not like super comfortable.
Anyway, whatever. And also, I don't want wheels. I don't want this wheel shit. What are you wheeling? Nowhere. You're fine. Yeah, you know, but they're okay. They're not like super comfortable. Anyway, whatever.
And also I don't want wheels.
I don't want this wheel shit.
What are you wheeling?
Nowhere.
You're kidding yourself.
No, no.
What if you want a wheel from one computer in one side of the room to your computer on
the other side of the room?
Because you've got your gaming computer and your hacking computer.
No, they're next to each other.
You've got two monitors.
Everybody knows that.
Just two monitors?
Wow.
Get a load of this noob, listeners.
Hey, get a load of this guyob listeners hey get a load of this guy oh the two monitors
oh just to clarify i actually like i don't hate any of that stuff and the people who use that
stuff because it's most people it's just that i don't like it i think the aesthetic is horrible
it's just more of a person your aesthetic is a boring blank wall i was gonna say a
just a stack of laptops identical laptops one burns and you just start up a new one.
That's exactly right.
You think he's joking.
He's not.
That is my genuine aesthetic.
Everybody's keyboards glow now.
I know.
I have to turn that off on my thing because I don't need this glowing at me.
I know where all the keys are.
What about those keyboards that are extraordinarily expensive
and each key is like a little LCD screen?
So you can have whatever you want on each key.
Yeah, great.
James, you can have all your keys in Klingon.
I could.
Yeah.
Yeah, and then I could go outside and just bash my head into a brick wall.
I could probably do that inside if I could find a brick wall.
Yeah.
I could get my rolling chair and roll over to the brick wall,
crack my dome into it.
Don't you think?
Yeah.
These are all things I could do.
It's true.
Yeah.
The world's your oyster with a gaming chair with wheels.
And you said they were useless.
I did say that.
You goose.
Yeah.
So there you go.
And again, all personal preferences.
Fill your boots.
Do what you want.
What are we talking about?
Other news?
Oh, Karen Gillan might be the new lead in the Pirates franchise.
Yeah. So what do you think about that?
I'd say that.
She's proven herself in kind of like Jumanji kind of adventure-esque
kind of movies.
I think she's fun in those.
But also I think because they're talking about a reboot,
but you know who's perfect for this as well?
Zoe Saldana is in the first Pirates of the Caribbean.
That's right, yeah.
So you could put her in and Karen Gillan.
It's a team-up again.
It's a team-up.
Like Guardians.
The Guardians gals.
I think there'd be a lot of good faith in that also
because it's not a reboot.
And you could also, if you wanted to,
you could bring back Elizabeth Swann and the other guy
or whatever, you know what I mean?
Orlando Bloom.
Yeah, because there's nothing wrong with that universe.
Yes.
It's just boring now.
Everybody got tired in it.
Yeah.
That's the thing.
Like everybody, you could see their joy drain out of people's faces in those movies.
Movie to movie.
Movie to movie, yeah.
That's what happened.
I don't know.
Crabs took a boat.
Crabs took a boat.
Remember that?
What?
Crabs took a boat.
It was in the third half.
No, you've lost it, mate.
Crabs took a boat.
No, not that word.
There were some rocks.
Yes.
And then he was in like a weird purgatory and he licked one,
it turned into a crab, and then all the crabs came to life
and crabs took a boat.
So what you're saying, if I can break it down into plain English,
is crabs took a boat.
Just cut through all your nonsense.
I'll just say crabs took a boat.
Okay, cool.
Do you remember now, though?
Yeah, vaguely, yeah.
Okay.
They took a boat.
Yeah.
Those crabs did.
Let's start with the Tenet trailer. I still don't know what's happening in that movie. I think that's a gooduely, yeah. Okay. Yeah. They took a boat. Yeah. Those crabs did. Mm-hmm. Let's start with the Tenet trailer.
I still don't know what's happening in that movie.
I think that's a good thing, though.
I nearly didn't watch it off the back of like,
I don't really want to know what's going on,
but at the same time I'm like, oh, no, this is your job, I think,
to watch this.
So people want to know that you've seen it.
And did you garner any more information, really,
about this movie based on that?
All I know is it seems like there's a couple of backwards boys
getting up to mischief. That's what it seems like's a couple of backwards boys getting up to mischief.
That's what it seems like to me.
Backwards boys getting up to mischief.
So, yeah, look, clearly it's not time.
It feels like a Bangers and Mash style children's book series.
The backwards boys, they're always getting into trouble.
They're wearing matching like dungarees and their mum's always like,
backwards boys, get in here.
No, not backwards, boys.
They're always running down the street backwards.
Stealing apples off carts.
Yeah, or returning apples off carts.
Maybe that's what they're doing, yeah.
And the PC plods there and he's all like, well, I'd arrest you, boys,
but technically you've done a public service, so I can't arrest you.
Anyway, I don't know what this movie's about still.
I'd kill you if I understood how you did it, but I don't.
Or how killing works in this universe.
I don't even, would I be making you live forever?
I don't know.
It did remind me of the Red Dwarf episode, Backwards.
So like if you walk into a room,
because in this obviously you walk into a room and you're like,
the bullets in these walls, this hasn't even happened yet.
Like if you're walking in and there's a puddle of vomit,
you're like, oh, God, no.
Which of us is getting this puddle of vomit?
Yeah, that's backwards voice for you, though.
And you look at and then one of the characters looks at their hand
and they've got like a can of expired chili in their hand
and a big spoon in the other hand and they're like,
oh, this is definitely me.
Oh, no.
I've made big mistakes.
But I wonder if you can go into a room and see what's going on
and then kind of manoeuvre it to kind of manipulate the scenario
before it happens to play out a certain way.
Maybe, yeah.
I don't know.
I'm really looking forward to it.
Would you be in favour of, and I know the movie isn't out yet
so we don't know if it's any good or not,
would you be in favour of some sort of Tenet-Inception crossover movie?
Sure, why not? Right. So it's
Backwards Dreams? Backwards Dreams.
Within Dreams. I think that's a bit
too much. You only need kind of one game-breaking
element in a movie. Okay, but I'm not...
Or it's also the Prestige Universe, where everybody
gets a clone! Well, that's just a bit silly.
But how about, what about like
two teams? One team can reverse
time, one team can get into your dreams
which would you take into your car yeah but if you get into your dreams you gotta there's more
like subtle manipulation wouldn't you rather be on the team that could flip a car backwards and
make you eat a pile of vomit yeah maybe yeah yeah maybe i'd be on the backwards boys mate
yeah every day of the week yeah i i think the trailer also ends really well often a sting in
a trailer isn't very good or it's like it's
supposed to be like a funny zing. But in this one
they look down at a sign, a
freeway sign and go, nod, Noel.
That's just London backwards.
No, I forgot. Refresh my memory.
It's the jumbo jet crashing.
Oh, that's right. It looks real.
I think it's probably a
giant miniature.
I'm guessing because they wouldn't be able to crash a real plane maybe.
Who knows at this point? I think with Christopher Nolan stuff you don't really know.
What if they're like, look, there are so many movies that are currently on hold
and they have so many permits for stunts that aren't going ahead right now.
What if we cashed in all the stunt vouchers for one really big stunt?
That one's flying so let's just crash one.
Let's just destroy an airport.
I mean, you know, these airlines are hurting for cash,
but we buy one, we crash one.
Exactly.
Yeah, so Tenet is pushed back two weeks to late July.
Only two weeks?
That's interesting.
Yeah, I think it's they want to make sure that they're well clear
and everything is open.
Yeah.
Even though the pandemic is very much still happening,
please wear masks if you can and be careful.
Anyway, we're all very excited for 10 Nets.
Yes, we are.
Yeah, so that's cool.
I saw a theory recently on Tenet that it's less a time travel movie
or a time inversion movie,
but it's more a slipping into an alternate reality movie.
Slipping into an alternate reality movie.
Does that make sense?
But I don't know where the inversion part slips in.
Anyway, we'll know shortly.
We will.
They'll explain it.
Because one of the characters will be like, what is a tenet?
And then they'll be like, well, the thing about tenet is.
And then they'll tell us.
And us, the audience, will then know what it's like.
Yes.
But how do I tenet if I'm out of tenet energy?
You've got to recharge your tenet energy using a tenet force field shield.
I'm really excited for this movie.
It's great.
Yeah.
I could write movies.
What if this is the one where Nolan has just given up
and that's actual dialogue?
And there's a lot of characters just shrugging.
You don't know if it's the character shrugging or the actor shrugging.
And they're like, often you'll see like Pattinson,
like he's clearly looking off screen to Nolan who's just out of frame.
And Nolan's just like, just Phil, say something about Forcefield.
It doesn't matter.
Everyone's going to see this.
I'm the king of the movies.
I don't care. There's
no, I'm going to win. Like the facade disappears. He's just like, I'm kidding. I'm going to
be the winner of movies. Me, Christopher Nolan.
I love how he's sitting in on the edit. He's like, yeah, leave that. Absolutely leave that.
Just leave it in. Yeah.
Great.
Variety have reported that Tenet.
I think it is tenant shit.
It's not tenant.
It's Tenet.
It's not tenant.
If anything, it's T-net.
Mm-hmm.
Do you see what I'm saying?
Yes.
It's not T-E-N-E-N-T.
Mm-hmm.
It's Tenet.
What if it's Teen E.T.?
What if that's the twist? It would be Ten E.T. What's in the vault What if it's Teen E.T.? What if that's the
twist? It would be 10 E.T. What's in the vault?
It's a Teen E.T.
It would be 10 E.T.
So there would be 10 of them.
I reckon it's Teen E.T. I'm going to find out how
old E.T. is because I think he's old. But I mean,
there's more than one. Yes, I know, but him. I think
he's like hundreds of years old. Yeah, you're right.
According to the novelization, E.T. is over 10 million
years old and he's a plant-like creature, neither male nor female.
So there you go.
We'll learn some things about E.T. or as I call it, it.
All right, what have we got?
Look, all I'm saying is I'm putting my money on this being a teen E.T. movie.
Okay.
So he's in the vault.
That's why they need the masks because he's a plant-based life form.
How old would a teen ET be?
15.
So not like comparison to like 10 million years.
He'd just be 15.
Teen ET.
It's in the name, James.
I know, but I'm talking about a comparative lifespan here.
Yeah, one's 10 million and one's 15.
It's like with dog years is what I'm saying.
He's just out the front of like a convenience store.
He's asking people to buy him beer.
Okay, get a load of this, James.
I'm ready.
Teeny T.
Okay.
TikTok home.
And then he does a dab.
They don't do dabs on TikTok, Mason.
They do a dance.
They do some sort of elaborate miming dance.
They do dances, but they're not doing dabs.
You sound like a dad at a barbecue doing a dab in front of a barbecue.
That's what you're doing.
Kids, who wants a sausage?
Dad.
What am I doing?
Okay.
Yep.
Nick Mason.
Hello.
It's good to be here.
It's great to be anywhere, isn't it, at the moment?
Yeah.
Except if it's, you know, a place where you shouldn't be.
You know what I mean?
Give me an example.
Under the sun. Under the sun.
Under the sun.
Directly under the sun.
Like how close to the sun are we talking? Like you can nearly touch it, but you reach out
and you can just touch it with your fingertips just a little bit,
but you can't grab it.
Yeah, that is probably too close actually.
Yeah, that's a place you shouldn't be, yeah.
So there's a good example of the thing that you said.
Yeah, but in most instances it's okay to be pretty much anywhere.
Yeah.
Besides that sun thing. And if you're wearing a mask, obviously if it's okay to be pretty much anywhere. Yeah. Besides that sun thing.
And if you're wearing a mask, obviously,
if it's a public place that you have to be.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just ordered some masks online.
I got a few already.
I'm so clever, Mason, that I thought this pandemic is going to go
for a really long time that I already got some because I'm so – ah!
The bandits are here to get your masks, James.
My son is on his bike in the backyard and I bought him a bike
and it's got a handle that you turn it and it revs like a motorbike.
Worst decision I've ever made.
Because here's the thing, James.
Here's the thing.
As a non-parent, I can tell you this.
But as a bicycle enthusiast, I can tell you,
you can purchase a bike that doesn't have that.
There wasn't any available because all the bikes have been bought up
because of the pandemic.
I may have been ahead on the masks.
I was way behind on the bikes.
The only place you could get a bike was at Annoying Bikes
Proprietary Limited.
We guarantee this bike will drive you up the wall.
You'll hate it.
I assume it's also removable, but you can't do it now.
It's too late.
I've had a look at it.
It's pretty on there, man.
Yeah.
Anyway, here's something that you should check out, though.
Something that's not annoyingbikes.com or whatever he said.
Tofop is celebrating.
We have to buy that now.
We have to buy the domain annoyingbikes.com.
Black Widow's future may be in jeopardy in doubt, perhaps?
Question mark?
Doubtful.
Well, she's dead.
Apparently, Florence Pugh might be taking over the role.
I see.
They said they didn't, Kate Shortland, who the director of the movie said,
we didn't know how great Florence Pugh would be.
We knew she'd be great but we didn't know.
We thought from her name.
We based it on the name.
Exclusively we're like, I don't know.
I don't know about this.
Whose idea was this?
But we didn't know how great.
Scarlet was Scarlet.
I say Scarlet apparently.
So gracious.
That's what her friends say when she's at the pub.
They're like, Scarlet Johansson.
Yay!
Taxi!
Yep.
In Australia, to scarle something is to drink it really fast.
That's right.
Like a Scarlet Johansson.
Yeah, it's like a chug or neck.
Yeah, that's so good.
And Scarlet is so gracious like, oh, I'm handing her the baton
so it's going to propel another female storyline.
So yeah, it looks like we're going to be getting a new Black Widow
in future installments.
So yeah, I think they are setting up.
They've been doing this for a while it seems.
They're setting up the future of the universe very slowly
in drips and drabs of like who's going to be left.
I mean that makes sense. I mean, you know,
Scarlett Johansson has been Black Widow since Iron
Man 2 which was 2010.
2010? 2010, yeah. So she's been doing it
for a decade. So, you know, I'm sure she wants
to move on
and do roles where she doesn't
have to be in the... A catsuit. I was going to say
the physical and emotional state.
Do you think, I was wondering this the other day.
Do you think that when the Marvel Cinematic Universe gets a new person,
like they get a Brie Larson or they get a Chadwick Boseman
or a Paul Rudd or whatever, do you think one of the existing cast members
brings them in and is like, this is going to be weird for a while?
You're going to encounter some weird stuff.
I think you get a lot of kind of examples of that.
I think Chris Evans talked to Robert Downey Jr. before
and was like, do I want to do this?
Do I want to do this for 10 years?
And it's like I can't go anywhere anymore.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's true.
Yeah.
Because you've got to commit to the role for 10 years.
You probably have to be, you know, super fit for 10 years.
You've got to be nice to kids for 10 years.
You've got to be nice to kids for 10 years.
You have least favorite thing.
You've got to, you have to do research on the mythology
of your character
and their relationship to all existing characters in the comic books,
even if none of that is going to come to the movies.
Even if it's a new thing, you have to know all your stuff.
You have to have a few stories on hand to mention for things
that you'd like to see in the future.
Yeah.
Just ready to go.
I don't know, the one where he's Hydra, the one where he's a werewolf,
the one where he wasn't Captain America, he was Nomad.
Just have those.
Just have them in the chamber ready to go.
And then you'd be like, Brie Larson, none of those things relate to your character.
You've done it again.
This is why the internet hates you.
She has a new YouTube channel.
I've heard, yeah.
I haven't watched it yet.
Because I don't have an interest in like, what's Will Smith doing?
What's Jack Black doing?
Yeah, Brie Larson has a new YouTube channel.
I saw her Hot Ones.
It was very entertaining.
I haven't watched that yet because isn't the her Hot Ones. It was very entertaining.
I haven't watched that yet because isn't the new Hot Ones,
they're over Skype or whatever?
They are over Skype. Do they still hold up?
Is it a cognitive dissonance?
I don't know.
You've thrown me with that.
It doesn't even apply.
I'm aware of what cognitive dissonance is,
but it doesn't apply.
I don't know.
I mean it's less immediate and also it's kind of,
I guess they get delivered all the stuff and the wings
and the hot sauces or whatever.
It seems pretty solid, yeah.
But I think it's more fun when they're both in the room together.
Totally, yeah.
Because, you know.
They can spit milk at each other.
They can spit milk at each other.
And, you know, there's no chance that any shady operator
would replace all their hot sauces with just like red water.
Well, that's true.
That's right.
Brie Larson, I'm looking at you.
Obviously, that's what you've done.
There's already a video.
I bet there is.
I bet there's already a conspiracy theory that she faked her hot sauce eating.
Exactly.
Yeah, it's interesting that Scarlett was like, oh, I'm handing her the baton.
She didn't realize that maybe this was the way it was going to go.
But I don't know.
Oh, I see.
She thought she'd be doing this role forever.
But anyway, there's an Iron Man and there's a war machine
and there's a Captain America and there's a Bucky.
There can be like two of the same kind of thing.
That's true.
So I think they should be called Black Widow and Better Black Widow
and have to fight for the title.
Who's the better one?
Well, we don't know until I've...
There's a real cognitive dissonance there, isn't there?
Oh, God.
What have we got next?
I just have a confession to make.
We mentioned this off air.
I've never seen the TV show Art Attack.
Yeah.
I feel that might be controversial in some way.
I don't know what it is.
It's like a dude and he's like, this is an art attack.
What does that mean?
And then he shows you an art attack.
What's an art attack?
It's an art attack.
It's what art attack. What's an art attack? It's an art attack. It's what you feel.
See, I was going to say it makes me picture like just some like 80s punk
dude with a mohawk just smashing up like the Mona Lisa, whatever.
This is an art attack.
Right?
Just stabbing Picasso, the man himself.
Absolutely.
No, so he'll be like he'll take a bunch of trash and he'll like make it
into a big elephant or something. It's for kids. Or he'll be like, he'll take a bunch of trash and he'll like make it into a big elephant or something.
It's for kids.
Or he'll be like, this is how you make like a ball look shiny.
And he'll draw like a ball and then put two little lines on it.
So it's like two little shiny lines.
Couldn't you just purchase a pre-shined ball?
No, no, you draw the ball.
It's to teach you how to draw.
Couldn't I just download a picture of a shiny ball off the internet?
In 1989 or whenever the show was on.
Yeah.
Yeah, you could.
That's what I thought, exactly you could that's what i thought
exactly maybe that's what i was doing just downloading shiny balls but australians are
always like oh my look there'll be what what happens to me a lot i find is somebody will be
like only 90s kids will recognize this whatever and they'll and it'll just be a picture out of
context and there's like a thousand responses that are like oh my god and i'm like i don't know what
i don't know what this is. I don't know what.
Look, check out some Art Attack.
The top search on YouTube has 658,000 views.
Okay.
Is it for kids who don't know what Art Attack is?
Is that the title?
People know what Art Attack is.
It's just you.
Anyway, we've got to get on with the show.
Do we?
I want to talk.
How did I miss Art Attack?
Was it on after school?
You can't.
I think it was, I don't know.
I think it was just whenever.
I don't remember.
Okay, maybe that's why.
I just remember it being on sometimes.
Okay, right.
I don't know the specific times, yeah.
If there's a show you didn't watch as a child
and therefore don't know what it is, email in and let us know.
What is it?
What is this thing you don't know?
Bonus points if you don't know it at all.
You're just guessing.
Absolutely. If you don't know Art Attack all. You're just guessing. Absolutely.
If you don't know Art Attack, email in if you're from America.
Please do.
Anyway, sorry, what's happening on the show this week?
So we got the thing I said before and also the results of Comic-Con 2020.
Not to jump ahead.
Oh, the winners and losers of Comic-Con 2020.
No, I mean in terms of like listenership and watching.
Oh.
So it was pretty dire.
But you're saying no spoilers up ahead but fart noise and thumbs down.
No, I had to fart.
That was a real fart.
Oh, that was unrelated.
Okay, right, right.
Okay.
Yeah.
But there's time codes below as always if you do want to check it out.
Would you say that the fart was thematically appropriate
to the Comic-Con use though?
Yes, Mason.
It wasn't a real fart.
I lied.
It's a fake fart.
You've been thrown for a loop.
I know.
So you're saying Art Attack was probably not real either.
No, it's real.
I don't know. We're thrown for a loop. I know. So you're saying Art Attack was probably not real either. No, it's real. I don't know.
We're spending too much time on Art Attack.
I think we're spending the exact correct amount of time on Art Attack.
Oh, side note.
Yeah, this is the Art Attack guy.
Look how serious he is about art, but don't let that fool you.
He's got a sweater on.
He's quite serious, yeah.
He's not all business.
He's all art.
He looks like a man who would object to having that sweater on.
No, no, no.
He's not like that. He's a very jovial man. Wow that sweater on No, no, no, he's not like that
He's a very jovial man
Wow
Neil Buchanan, apparently
Okay, right
There we go
Okay, anyway
Well, I'm glad
Me too
IGN
Should we bring it back?
What, the sweater?
Art Attack
We don't need to, everybody knows it except you
No, but a new version of Art Attack, we could host Art Attack
I'm not very artistic
Because I gave up because I thought someone told me when I was a kid
There's no money in it, so I stopped drawing James, it's not about being artistic If Art Attack. I'm not very artistic because I gave up because I thought someone told me when I was a kid there's no money in it so I stopped drawing.
James, it's not about being artistic.
If Art Attack has taught me anything, it's about the enthusiasm for the craft.
It's about drawing a ball and then putting some lines on it
so it looks like a shiny ball.
That's what it's about.
You can do that.
I believe in you.
No, I can do it because of Art Attack.
And what I think the show should be, it's you and you show people
how to draw a thing or whatever, how to improve your art
techniques.
And then there's just me on the side being like, was this in the original show?
Is this or is this new?
Did you, is this a new thing?
This is a modern, modern bit.
And then you attack me.
Yeah, that's, yeah.
And then I smash your work because that's the art attack, I assume.
The spirit of art attack.
Yeah.
Do you want some hot goss?
Yes.
This is a bit racy, a bit saucy.
This is about some of Claire's friends?
Yes.
Is somebody getting a divorce?
Yes, they're all up.
Oh, my God.
They're all crumbling under the pressure.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Oh, well, I'm not surprised.
Not even a little bit surprised.
He's swirling a white wine as he says that.
So apparently.
Just blowing my nails.
Apparently the people behind James Bond don't want Ben Affleck
at the Bond premiere.
I heard about this.
There's too much canoodling between him and Anna Diamus.
Yes.
So this film premiere has been a long time coming.
I was going to put this in We Got This Covered, but I like it.
You still can.
It's good enough to put in this, I think.
This film premiere has been a long time coming
and franchise bosses want the spotlight to be on the stars of the film.
Yeah.
Source tells the long delayed whatever.
It would be a disaster if it was all about Ben's mushy PDAs
with Anna's overshadowing the event.
I think it would probably be good for the event, wouldn't it?
Yeah.
Having him there?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah.
Do you remember, though, in the early to mid-2000s,
that J-Lo Ben Affleck shit was everywhere.
Oh, my God.
You could not escape it.
His suits were so shiny.
I don't know if you recall.
He was a shiny boy.
She was dressing him.
Yeah.
He looked ridiculous for like three years.
Because it was just a hard handbrake turn because it was just like it was.
It was flannels before that.
Yeah, yeah, and it's been flannels every time after, yeah.
It was just he came right off, you know, Mallrats or whatever,
just this slovenly man and then all of a sudden, oh, my God.
So I don't know.
It seems insane to me that you would balk at the opportunity
for that publicity.
I mean, we sort of assume, we go, okay, well, people who like Batman,
Superman, people like Justice League, they were on board for James Bond,
but they're probably, like there's probably this huge gulf of people
who are like, we only like comic book stuff and that's it.
That's it.
What is this old guy running around with a cattle prod
on his phone or whatever?
Stuff like that.
You know? Who's this man getting his.
I pictured like one of the old school like branding irons.
Yeah.
He's got, he's got one of those and it's got a Nokia 3110 on the end.
This is a post-apocalypse bond.
He's just got some of his gadgets.
I'd see post-apocalyptic bond.
Yeah, exactly.
But it's mostly sharp sticks.
Yeah.
Good, good.
And a big, like a, like a big rope.
Yeah.
Getting hit in the balls.
Absolutely.
Okay, here we go.
Highest paid actors.
Do you love people in big dollars?
Why is this coming up all of a sudden?
You're just interested?
Because, Mason, I'm all about big dollars.
Okay, all right.
What are you about?
You're big dollars.
I'm all about the game, hustling for the game.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Are you about that?
Yeah, I'm hustling for that game.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go big or go home.
You know what I mean?
That's right.
All in or don't go to all in.
Wake up at 4 a.m.
Get up earlier than Mark Wahlberg or you'll never succeed.
Okay.
I mean, sometimes I wake up at 4 a.m., but it's just a pee.
That's pretty good.
It's pretty good.
Do you do some crunches?
Yeah, I do crunches.
Yeah, exactly.
As you pee.
Yes.
Great.
Terrific.
This is the list of the top 10 highest paid actors in 2019, I think.
Okay, great.
Because this year it would just be Vin Diesel bloodshot.
That's right.
And his video game.
I bought it.
Is that Fast and Furious game?
I bought it.
It cost me like 80 bucks.
And I'm like, why did I buy this?
Well, I bought it.
Is this new?
Yeah.
Apparently it's awful.
But what I wanted to do.
Slightly mad studios.
I know.
What I wanted to do, but I'm not going to have time,
was review it like a movie.
Okay.
And so I bought it and then I put it in my DVD player and it doesn't work.
So then I have to go to the PlayStation store and buy it.
It's like $100 and I would do that as part of the video
and then be like, why doesn't this work properly?
Like there's only one fixed camera angle for all of these action sequences.
Oh, yeah, I get it.
What, has Vin Diesel had work done?
He looks really weird.
I'm like, is this worth doing a 15-minute video on this dumb joke?
So I'm probably not going to do it, but I still bought it
because I was interested.
Will Smith, $44.5 million.
Hancock 2.
That's right.
Lin-Manuel.
Two hands, two cocks.
Back in the habit.
What's the habit?
We'll never tell.
Ryan Reynolds is doing 71.5 million.
So six underground, obviously, which is awful.
Great.
Terrific.
And Red Notice, which is his movie with The Rock,
which is coming out for Netflix.
Oh, they're still good buddies.
They're still good buddies.
They're probably joshing each other about different tequila brands
on Instagram or whatever.
Did we talk about Mint Mobile?
What's Mint Mobile?
Mint Mobile is Ryan Reynolds' streaming service
and it only plays his 2003 movie, Foolproof.
It's real.
You can get it.
How much is it?
I don't know.
I think it's free.
And Dwayne The Rock Johnson comes in at the top with $87.5 million.
That's big dollars. Big dollars for a big man. We.5 million. That's big dollars.
Big dollars for a big man.
We're giving big hollers to big dollars.
It's our new segment.
We just say how much money people made and then we applaud it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love it.
And then maybe one of them hears it and they give us a million dollars.
That's how it works, isn't it?
Yeah, that's how we –
That's why I'm always defending Elon Musk.
That's right.
Exactly right.
Because I know eventually he's going to give me a car.
He's not a big dumb goon.
He's a great guy. Great guy. I think he a big dumb goon. He's a great guy.
I think he's great.
Great guy.
He's got great ideas.
Self-made billionaire.
I don't think he's a fuckwit.
I don't think that.
Didn't inherit money from apartheid mining.
Doesn't call people a pedophile unnecessarily.
That's very true.
Yeah.
Good on him.
Halls for dollars, baby.
But where would the space program be without him?
Yeah, we know. Yeah, he's great. That's for dollars, baby. But where would the space program be without him? Yeah, we don't.
Yeah, he's great.
That's what we're saying.
We're all going to cram into that spaceship to Mars and then work in his space mines on
Mars.
Sounds cool.
He doesn't like government handouts despite getting them himself.
That's cool.
$5 billion.
$5 billion.
It's fine.
Lower that minimum wage, I say.
Elon Musk.
Anyway.
We're big fans. Big fans of him. People think we're being ironic. No, we're not Elon Musk. Anyway. We're big fans.
Big fans of him.
People think we're being ironic.
No, we're not.
We love him.
We love him.
Every time we clap, your dog jumps up on me and sticks her claws in,
which I think is appropriate.
She's a big fan.
Of Elon Musk.
We're being serious, dog.
You know his full name is actually Elon Gated Muskrat.
That's incredible.
That's great.
Yeah.
I love it.
You can see why he changed it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Too many weird vowels in his South African? That's incredible. Did you know that? That's great. Yeah. I love it. You can see why he changed it.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Too many weird vowels in his South African.
That's right.
All right.
That's enough elongated muskrat news.
We need to move on.
Okay.
Dune has a trailer.
Yes.
Is it Dune or June, et cetera, the joke?
The thing we do.
Yeah.
Oh, side note, art attacks in the news, we know.
Oh, yes.
We do know, yes.
We're well aware.
We mentioned art attack in passing news we know oh yes we do we're well aware we mentioned art attack in
passing by by and by pure random choice i want to be very clear and and it turns out that neil
buchanan the host of art attack uh has denied being banksy my understanding is that banksy
like you could look it up you know people know who he is already yeah i also want to point out
that when you were explaining to me what art attack was i wasn't really listening so i still
don't know what art attack is now you're gonna get people yep explaining to me what Art Attack was, I wasn't really listening. So I still don't know what Art Attack is. Now you're going to get people explaining to you what an Art Attack is.
Now what were we talking about?
Dune.
Oh, Dune.
Oh, we got an email.
I was going to put this in email in the letters segment.
Well, then do it.
Don't break the tradition.
No, I'm going to break the tradition.
I don't like this.
This is Adam Campbell.
Adam here from Japan.
Love the show.
Big fan watching and listening for ages, et cetera.
Anyway, I just had to tell you that Dune versus Dune
has been settled once and for all.
The official Japanese version of the Dune
trailer lists the name as, and we have some
katakana here, and that is
ju, and that's yu.
That's a yu. Yeah. And then that line
extends it, and then there's an N at the end, so it's
D-U-N.
D-U-N. D-U-N.
D-U-N. I mean, it's been settled in Japan.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And also I've deliberately mispronounced that for a laugh.
So, yeah.
So you went further down whatever kind of rabbit hole this is.
If anything, this is an additional wrinkle.
Is it Dune or June or Dune?
Or Dunk.
Might be Dunk.
It still looks a little bit like Dunk.
But anyway, that trailer is out.
Anyway, thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah.
So these are my notes. Various sand scapes. Adam from Japan, Dunk. But anyway, that trailer is out. Anyway, thank you. Thank you. So these are my notes.
Various sandscapes.
Adam from Japan, sorry.
Thank you, Adam.
These are my notes.
Various sandscapes.
A big worm.
Dunecan, Idaho.
Good note.
Excellent.
Is that anything?
Yeah, I think so, yeah.
Cool.
Because Dunk and...
You should try it out on your family.
See what that's like to say.
Just walk in now. We'll pause the podcast. You can go it out on your family. See what that's like to say. Just walk in now.
We'll pause the podcast and you can go to your wife and your kid
and you can be like, you didn't come to Idaho?
Maybe we can do a live reaction video.
My son would not be impressed.
No.
Claire might.
She wouldn't.
Yeah.
He called me a frog earlier.
He did.
He had the option to say goodbye to you.
No, he did it earlier.
Like, unprompted.
You asked him to do it the other day, and then he's remembered.
Hello.
Yeah, do you want to bring it in here?
Come around and I'll fix it?
I'm fixing Transformers all day and all night, Mason.
Sometimes he wakes me up at, like, 1 a.m. and is like,
fix this Transformers.
Oh, he doesn't really.
Hello.
Mason and I are just recording an episode of
our show, The Weekly Planet Podcast.
Are you familiar with it? We also have a spin-off
called BigSandwich.co
that you can sign up. It's only
$9 a month. Thank you. Just give me the parts,
everybody. And yeah,
it's quite good value,
wouldn't you say?
Wow. I think we should drop
the price then, I guess. He's also our accountant, your son. Yes. There you go? No. No? Wow. I think we should drop the price then, I guess.
He's also our accountant, your son.
Yes.
There you go.
Is that better?
Yes.
There you go.
Do you want to show Mason that train on the way out?
Very cool.
It's very good.
It's a train transformer.
Train-former?
No, you've got train warrior.
Train warrior.
It's a good name.
I like it.
I don't think it's an official transformer.
I reckon it is.
No, it's not.
Why didn't you buy him a non-official transformer?
I didn't buy him. What were you thinking? Claire bought him because mums don't know. Mums don't know.'s an official Transformer. I reckon it is. No, it's not. Why didn't you buy him a non-official Transformer? I didn't buy it.
Claire bought it because mums don't know.
Mums don't know.
That's true, yeah.
All right, here we go.
It's time for our new segment, Mums Don't Know.
God, mum.
Yeah, it's like that episode of The Simpsons where Bart asks for that video game
and he gets the putting challenge or whatever.
Oh, he gets to lick Carvello's putting challenge instead of bone storm
or whatever it is.
Yeah.
There you go.
Last bit of news.
I don't know why I put this here, but Ben Wheatley is a director
and he's going to be directing The Meg 2.
It's based on the book The Meg, The Trench.
Is it really?
I looked into it.
The first one is?
No, no.
The second one is called The Meg, Colon,
The Trench. Okay. The book
continues the adventures of... Of The Meg?
No, Mason. The Meg
was exploded.
Or not.
I don't remember. It probably was.
There were two The Megs. Spoilers for the movie
The Meg, if for some reason
if you're the kind of person
who watches movies like The Meg, and
for some reason during quarantine and lockdown
you haven't gotten to The Meg yet, and you're mad
that we're spoiling The Meg, a movie
that came out years ago at this point.
Last year maybe? I don't know. There were
two The Megs. There were two The Megs. One was
a bigger The Meg. One was a bigger The Meg, right?
The bigger The Meg, the harder The Meg. I remember thinking at the time
this The Meg they've caught isn't that big
of The Meg, and then I'm like, ah!
This is the Big of the Meg.
They got me.
So the book continues the adventure of Jonas Taylor,
who was probably Statham's character, a paleobiologist,
studying the Megalodon, who discovers another.
How did you get Megalodon correct but not paleobiologist?
Because I read a lot of dinosaur and shark books.
I guess you probably do.
That's true, yeah.
Who discovers another prehistoric monster, the Kronosaurus.
Have you seen that one?
It's like a big, it's got flippers and it's kind of like a crocodile mouth.
Can it travel through time?
I don't think it does.
Well, there's a hint for you, folks.
No doubt, yeah.
Time travel.
Are you excited for more the Meg?
Nope. Or Kronosaurus or whatever is happening here? Nope. Or a Kronosaurus or whatever that's happening here? Nope.
What about Kronosaurus versus Meg?
Two the Megs.
Oh, that's not bad actually, yeah.
You don't think they're going to get the Meg to fight
the Kronosaurus? Well, I mean, they did
explode the Meg, so.
If we recall. You don't think there's going to be another
the Meg? Maybe they'll fire chunks of the Meg at the Kronosaurus.
That's how you get them.
Because only the Meg can penetrate the Kronosaurus?
Precisely, that's right.
They figured it out.
There's a special... Only the Meg can...
There's a special type of ore in the...
There's a special type of ore.
But, oh, no, that's confusing because they'd think of ore like a boat's ore.
They're like, boat's ore?
And he's like, no, like an alloy.
Nice, good, good, good.
Anyway, you're welcome.
I'm a paleo by the way.
You're welcome once again.
I'm 6'4 or so.
Another movie studio.
He's not.
He's like 5'6.
We've written your movie for you.
We've got to fire the Meg.
The Kronosaurus.
Maybe we'll wait.
If he's going to come to us
We'll make him come to us
That's right
They always make him come to us
Yeah, yeah, yeah
And maybe they have to load the Meg
Into an old-timey pirate cannon
Like bits of the Meg
Because they've uncovered a pirate ship
We've only got one shot of this
We've only got so much Meg to go around
We found this pirate ship
It's not even how he sounds But it's how he sounds in our hearts It's how he sounds around. We found this pirate ship.
It's not even how he sounds, but it's how he sounds in our hearts.
It's how he sounds.
Yeah, you're right.
Oh, goodness.
But also, like, you have to imagine his face when he's saying it,
like that bug-eyed look he's got sometimes.
Just all the veins in his head pulsing, yeah.
He's a very serious man.
That's why I like him.
Mason. I've covered myself in the Meg guts.
Crososaurus can't find me.
It would have been the opposite.
There's an alloy.
Oh, yeah.
There's an alloy.
We should do these all late.
I don't know whether this is good, but I'm having a good time.
Whoa!
but I'm having a good time.
Whoa!
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Okay, let's see if we can do this ad.
Just like old times, Mason.
Let's see if we can bring the magic back.
That's what people are after.
That's what they want, you know?
I agree.
How do you choose which internet service provider to use?
The sad thing is, most of us have very little choice
because ISPs operate like monopolies in the regions they serve.
Boo.
Then they can use the monopoly power to take advantage of customers.
We're talking data caps, streaming throttles.
The list goes on.
But worst of all, yuck, I agree, yuck.
But many ISPs log your internet activity and sell
that data onto other big tech companies or advertisers. To prevent ISPs from seeing
my internet activity though, I protect all of my devices with ExpressVPN.
Oh my goodness.
So what is ExpressVPN, you might be asking?
James, what's ExpressVPN?
You might be asking that because I can tell you it's a simple app
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Just think about
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How much of it?
Heaps.
All of it for me.
Yeah, all my dumb photos
and my dumb face.
I hate them.
I hate them all too.
And all my banking details.
Yeah, that's all.
I hate that too. I hate it. I hate looking at it. He's always showing me. I don't
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Oh, my God, James, it felt so magical.
I agree.
I think it's working.
I think it might be working, but we should just keep doing the best bits. There are more things we have to do now.
Whoa!
What about this, though?
Oh, yes.
Mason, there's hardly enough time to die.
If you could just allow, give me a second, if you wouldn't mind.
If everybody could get off my back momentarily so that I might die.
Yeah.
Mason, did you hear Billie Eilish's new song,
There's Simply Not Enough Hours in the Day for Me to Die,
if you could just give me a minute.
If you wouldn't.
I need to catch my breath.
Hi, the name's Bond, James Bond.
I'm calling on behalf of MI6.
I don't know if you've heard of us.
We're just doing a bit of a ring around,
just seeing if there's anyone in the local area with some time to die.
Oh, you've got no time to die.
Well, sorry to bother you.
Enjoy the rest of your evening.
The movie.
The movie.
That's what it's called now.
So is it a call centre?
Apparently, yeah.
For MI6.
He's been demoted.
Yeah, he would have been.
No, you know what, because he quit.
And then he's like, well, I'll just go back and get my job back.
And they're like, it's been filled.
That's right.
Yeah.
Because we've got a new 007 and we're against that here, aren't we?
Or whatever.
Yes, exactly.
So he has to go in the call centre.
But damn, he's good.
God damn, he's good.
I mean, that call wasn't successful.
No.
But unless he was finding out whether or not,
if there's no time to die, then he's doing the right thing.
Because there's no time to die and he's like, exactly.
Exactly.
Perfect.
So, yeah, we're all fine with it, aren't we?
Yeah.
That must be coming out soon.
Should I check the release date?
I guess.
But be careful.
Don't hit the big red record button, all right?
I nearly typed in our very long extended version.
April 8th.
So there you go.
So Mason, did you know it turns out that there's more than enough time to die?
If anything, there's too much.
Too much time to die.
If you'll excuse me, I'll just be over here having a time to die.
At my own leisure.
That's right.
It's going to be 164 minutes.
Is that something like that?
Yeah, two hours and 43 minutes.
Good Lord.
I hope it's 40 minutes of him spinning the Aston Martin in a circle,
firing the miniguns.
And with the James Bond theme on a real rough loop.
So just...
Like that.
Just 40 minutes.
Someone would have mocked that up, I'd imagine.
And just bad.
You see the same guys getting machine gunned every minute.
It's going to be great.
He's shifted gears the whole time.
Oh, my God.
It'd be so good.
I'd love that.
So there you go.
There's plenty of time to die. So time gosh thank goodness yep so yeah that's uh because we kind of were talking
about last week what's happening with you know the obviously um i was gonna say die another day
what's the new one called no time to die yeah no it's called die another day make that a poster
it's just die another day i feel like that joke has run out of steam now, don't you think?
We've just hit Die Another Day.
James, you don't know how a running gag works.
How a running gag works is you do it a couple of times
and it gets more funny and then you do it a couple more times
and it gets less funny.
And people complain.
People start complaining and then we keep doing it
and then more people complain and stop listening to the podcast
and unfollow you on social media.
Then you keep doing it and we've never gotten that far before.
So who knows what happens?
I assume it gets more funny and we get sent a million dollars.
I think Die Another Day is the perfect title for that movie now
considering what's been happening.
Okay, here's what I'm worried about is that Daniel Craig
is now in self-promotional hell.
Or purgatory, I guess.
His least favourite thing I feel about,
even more so than being in these movies and making them,
is being on the promotional trail and people asking him dumb questions
all the time and comparing him to all the other Bonds
and all this sort of stuff.
And is there going to be – I know you definitively said
this is your last Bond you're ever going to be in,
but is there time for more Bond, more James Bond for Daniel Craig?
Is he going to do more James Bond considering it's such a painful process
for you, more James Bond?
Anyway, it's going to be six more months of that probably.
This is going to be the year that Daniel Craig beats an entertainment
reporter to death.
And he could.
Did you see his rig?
Oh, my God, Mason.
Right?
You mean his dick?
Yeah, 100%.
Yes.
No, he's Bond, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, he's 50 now.
He'd have to be, right?
Something like that, yeah.
Looking good.
Yeah.
I mean, they have some chemical assistance. Excuse me? Yeah, he's 50 now. He'd have to be, right? Something like that, yeah. Looking good. I mean, they have some chemical assistance.
Excuse me?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's a hormone replacement.
Like a carrot juice?
Like a carrot juice, exactly.
Good for him.
Like testosterone.
Remember we got that insane email?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I do remember that.
Yes, okay.
Last bit of news.
I wasn't going to put this in, but let's do it.
Carrie Fukunaga, who's no time to die, but there Plenty of Time to Die, because you know that joke we do?
I remember the joke we do, yeah.
Because the movie keeps getting delayed and we change the title.
If the poster this week could just say that joke we do.
That joke we do every chance we get.
Yes.
Weekly Planet posters, check them out on Twitter.
Please do.
Crushing it.
Because, Mason.
Yes.
Because.
Yes.
Because.
Yes, go on.
Clear some space in your diary because you're going to need some time to die.
Oh, my goodness.
Just between me and you.
Yes.
If you would.
Well, that takes on a whole different.
Look, we've had a laugh, haven't we?
But that takes on a whole new aspect currently in the current times we're in.
I'm glad that this news wasn't paired with other news.
That's a good tagline for 2020, though.
Clear some space in your diary because you're going to want to die
or whatever it is.
Need some time to die.
Need some time to die.
That's right.
The new trailer came out.
For James Bond, No Time to Die, the 25th movie,
the final of the Daniel Craig 14-year run.
Wow.
We were so young when it started, Mason.
God.
Do you remember how young we were?
Not that young.
So fresh-faced. No fresh faced. Oh my goodness. We were just a couple of surfer dudes just
cruising the coast. Okay. That part is true. We were searching for that endless summer.
That is very true. Last bit of news, Mason. Bond news. Bond. It turns out there's plenty
of time for you to get your affairs in order. That's right. If you're on the way out is what I'm saying.
If you are dying and you need more time.
To die.
To die.
You have a bountiful surplus of time in which to die.
Say goodbye to your loved ones.
That's right.
Throw a party or two.
Uh-huh.
Write some letters.
Put them in your mailbox.
That's right.
Because there's quite a lot of time to die.
There's quite a lot of time.
Because it's been delayed.
Yeah.
The new Bond film.
It was supposed to be out next month and now until November
because of the coronavirus, which is ruining everything.
Yep.
So off the back of this, we thought,
why not talk about long-delayed movies?
Yeah.
We've got a string of them here.
We've done our research, haven't we, Mason?
Yes.
We've crunched the numbers.
These are movies that also have to have come out.
Okay.
Because I think we need some kind of rating system,
and I've knocked one up here.
I've workshopped it just with my wife.
Okay, I'm excited to hear it.
I've spoke to some friends.
And what did your wife think of it?
It's worth it or bluff it.
So if it's no good, you're like bluff it.
Very good.
What do you think?
What did your wife think?
I didn't.
That was just me.
I didn't workshop it.
What did your friends think?
Nobody.
It was just me.
Just you?
Okay, right.
What do you think? I love it. And that's work on it. What did your friends think? Nobody. It was just me. Just you? Okay, right. What do you think?
I love it.
And that's worth all your wives and all your friends as far as I'm concerned.
What else, Mason?
Have we talked about the Dick Tracy sequel?
Yes, we have.
Maybe we have.
And it didn't come out.
We did.
We talked about it at the end of one episode.
We did.
It's true.
And it didn't come out, Mason.
Yeah.
Anyway, whatever.
That's what I'm talking about. Yeah. Oh, because it didn't come out, Mason. Yeah. Anyway, whatever.
That's what I'm talking about.
Yeah.
Oh, because it didn't come out.
All right.
We can still talk.
There's no real rules, Mason. No, let's move to another one.
There's no real rules.
We'll figure out what episode that was when we talked about it.
Okay.
Basically, Warren Beatty acquired the rights and he's always been like, I'm going to make
another one.
They owe me one.
And they're like, yeah, exactly.
It's been 40 years, Warren Beatty.
It's been 40 years.
You're 150 years old, Warren Beatty.
You made the first one and you're only 110.
Come on.
That yellow coat has decayed at this point, you know.
It's too late.
Exactly.
Yeah, and there was also the shadow as well.
Yeah.
Which wasn't.
We should watch that.
All right.
The knife attacks him.
Yeah, I remember.
It's a cranky little knife.
It's a cranky little knife.
Like, I'm a knife.
I'm coming to get you.
Which wouldn't be a problem if it was a regular knife, just to be clear.
Yeah.
It's a knife that can fly about.
That's a major issue.
Yeah.
If it were a regular knife, you just put it in your bottom drawer.
Yeah.
And sometimes it'd be like, if you let me in, I'm going to get you.
Like, I won't let you out, though, will I?
Oh, I'll fall out again.
What if you need a bin bag, though?
All the bin bags are in here.
Yeah, but you can't fly.
So even if I open it, you're not in here. Yeah, but you can't fly.
So even if I open it, you're not going to.
Oh, yeah, it's a really good point.
But I'll make a mean face at you.
I'll flip your face side down.
Oh, no.
Fool again.
Would you hang on to that knife or would you get rid of it? Because I'd always worried it was going to come back.
I want to know where it is.
Or it would gain the ability to fly.
Yeah.
If it's magic.
Yeah, I want to know where it is at Or it would gain the ability to fly. Yeah. If it's magic. Yeah, I want to know where it is at all times.
Because what if I'm just.
Here's the thing.
It would depend on whether it had a vendetta against me specifically.
You think you could reason with it over time?
I reckon if you.
Because if it didn't, I'd probably sell it to somebody else.
Yeah.
Out of sight, out of mind.
I wouldn't even worry about it.
You wouldn't use it to like make money?
Make a YouTube video and be like.
Do you have this fucking knife?
Don't forget to like and subscribe.
It'd be like the Annoying Orange.
I'm the Annoying Little Knife.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh, and we could have him do a novelty single.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
It's the Crazy Frog, but it's a knife.
It's the Crazy Frog, but it's a knife.
I'm going to get you.
The Cranky Knife.
I'm going to get you.
The Cranky Knife.
I can't fly, but I'll get you.
I'll get you.
Yeah.
You do a rap in the middle.
Yes.
Yeah.
It'll be good.
Let's watch the shadow.
It's not going to live up to Cranky Knife, but.
Definitely not.
Also, this isn't everything that was delayed, by the way.
No.
I'm sure we'll get some that are like, I can't believe you didn't talk about it.
Why don't you email us your favorite thing that was delayed?
We'll read it.
We'll do a special episode just for you that we'll email to you.
If you have one that was delayed for many years and you were bang up,
you were super looking forward to it, and then it came out
and you were crushingly disappointed, let us know.
I'd say people would say that about a lot of Star Wars stuff
or Indiana Jones or...
Duke Nukem Forever.
We could talk about Indiana Jones, though, because that's one that was...
It was supposed to be...
There were rumors that Kevin Costner was going to play his evil brother
in the 90s, and I don't know whether any of that was real.
Really?
I'd be bang up for evil brother.
But he'd have to be something, I feel like maybe he's like a.
Aristocrat.
A Nazi?
No.
The Rocketeer.
Maybe he's a guy that keeps taking Indiana Jones artifacts that he steals and giving them back
to the cultures he's stolen them from.
So he's a good guy. He's a good
guy. And then he's beaten to death
at the end. Indiana Jones
drops a big rock on him.
And he takes the
idol or whatever out of his dead hand
and he steals it again. Yeah.
He shows his dad and his dad's like, good.
Good work. You're the best brother. I only have one it again. Yeah, he shows his dad and his dad's like, good. Pretty good. Good work.
You're the best brother.
I only have one son again.
That's right.
You may have been named after the dog,
but your brother was named after a big pile of poo.
That's right.
A real rat.
A rat that lived in a pile of poo outside our house.
Yeah. The dumbest thing we've ever seen No it's not
It's not even close
So AI
And his name's literally
Rattus Jones
His legal name is Rattus Jones
Because his dad had an inkling
He did
Something wrong with that dad
No wonder Indiana Jones turned out like that
Yes
Are you kidding me?
Also he fell into snakes.
He fought a lion.
Yeah.
Shit is insane.
It's not good.
Yeah.
It's a wonder he's anything at all as a human being.
Shit, he's a monster.
Birds of Prey and the Fab Tabulous Emancipation of Harlequin.
But what do you think the story was?
We'll do that.
Oh, no.
We'll do that.
All right.
So it's Harlequin.
Yep.
We all know her and love her from that movie Suicide Squad.
Yes.
You remember that one?
Of course I do, mate.
Anyway, she's back.
Sad times for her because she breaks up with the Joker.
Then she's living life as a free and single gal.
Yeah.
But also everyone wants to kill her because they can now because she's awful.
And people are like, well, you're not hanging with the Joker anymore.
Yeah.
Let's all kill you.
Like we're awful, but you're awful.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, yeah. That's essentially it. Yes. Well done on thinking what the story anymore. Yeah. Let's all kill you. Like we're awful, but you're awful. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, yeah.
That's essentially it.
Yes.
Well done on thinking what the story was.
Thank you.
Hijinks into you.
There is a thing of like, do people know who the Birds of Prey are?
I don't think so.
Outside of comics?
Except for huge fans of our video about the TV series Birds of Prey.
Oh my God.
You know.
And that's everybody in the internet.
People are not defending that show.
I mean, they'll come.
They always do.
But generally there's some pushback.
But for this it's like, no.
I think we're going to get people who never saw it,
but then they saw Ashley Scott's cameo in the recent Crisis on Infinite Earths,
and they're going to go back and watch the back catalogue of Birds of Prey,
decide it's their favourite TV show, then come at us.
Great.
To which I say bring it on.
Yeah.
We've beaten up all the Disney characters. We'll beat you up too. I've beaten them up. You've filmed it on your phone TV show, then come at us. Great. To which I say bring it on. Yeah. We've beaten up all the Disney characters.
We'll beat you up too.
I've beaten them up.
You've watched.
You filmed it on your phone.
Yeah, I did.
It's true.
Vertically though.
No, it's not worth it.
Why did I?
Yeah, I know.
I know.
I was just too excited.
I was excited to see you beat up Daisy Duck, all right?
I wouldn't beat up Daisy Duck.
Well, I was still excited.
I'm like, go on.
Do it.
Yeah.
Anyway, I thought it was good-ish. I thought it was pretty good. I enjoyed it way more than I thought still excited. I'm like, go on. Do it. Yeah. Anyway, I thought it was good-ish.
I thought it was pretty good.
I enjoyed it way more than I thought I would.
At this point, it's 50-50 as to whether one of these movies is going to be good or okay or bad.
Yeah, because Shazam didn't do super well.
It did slightly better than this.
It did do better than this in the opening weekend, but that was also, that wasn't rated as well.
So, yeah.
That's probably it.
What is it rated here? M, probably. Probably, yeah. That's probably it. What is it rated here?
M, probably.
Probably, yeah.
I don't know.
I don't look.
I don't look either.
We're grown men.
We're grown men.
We're going to see any movie.
Yeah.
Oh, it's rated X for extreme porno.
I'm still going in because I'm over the age.
I'm a creep.
I'm a creep.
And I'm over 18.
I do what I want.
This is where I get my pornos.
I'm one of those guys.
That's right. Good lord. Anyway, best movie. I'm one of those guys. That's right.
Good lord.
Anyway, best movie ever.
I'm a little disappointed it's not doing as well.
So we're talking about the Bloodshot movie now, aren't we?
Yes, we are, yeah.
So it's directed David S. Wilson,
who's worked on a lot of visual effects stuff
and CGI cut scenes for KOTOR he's done,
worked on Bioshock, Force Unleashed 2,
worked on Age of Ultron, special effects for that.
He also directed the short film Sunny's Edge from Love, Death and Robots.
Oh, yeah, right.
So he's got a background in it.
And that kind of comes through, I feel, in this.
But what do you think the story was?
I don't know.
You got me.
James, James, you got me.
I did, didn't I?
You got me.
I never know when it's going to arrive, but usually after a long spiel
where you're trying to distract me.
Maybe I should start the spiel and then just.
Yeah, right.
Or even before I say what movie we're talking about,
I just launch straight into it.
Maybe I get you before the show.
Yeah, right.
I record you on my phone.
Oh, yep.
Nice.
Classic prank.
Okay.
It's a good prank, isn't it?
Yeah.
Anyway, he's a guy.
His name's Bloodshot.
No.
No, he's not.
Not his name. His name's not like Jason Blood. No, he is, though. It's not his name.
His name's not, like, Jason Bloodshot or whatever.
It's Mr. Blood's Hot.
Okay, sorry.
They combine it and then it's a cool code name.
Yeah.
So Mr. Blood's Hot because he runs so hot because he loves a couple of things.
He loves America.
He loves a beautiful woman.
He loves shooting terrorists.
Yeah, he does.
He's in the army or something.
The Marines?
I don't know.
Or something.
Special forces. We don't really know. We don't know. Or something. Special forces.
We don't really know.
We don't know.
Navy SEAL?
Yeah.
Definitely one of the ground guys.
Bit of an unreliable narrator.
Yeah.
Anyway, his wife is killed by the terrorists, but then, and he's killed by the terrorists.
Side note.
And then.
And then they bring him back to life.
And then.
And he's got cool powers
And then they're like
Blood's hot
What if we
What if we
Ooh
Mmm
So yeah
He's got
It's his hot Latin blood
That's right
Also Vin Diesel's in this movie
Also Vin
What do you think of Vin Diesel in this?
I don't mind him
You had a
Last week you were like
Why would you build a super soldier
Out of a 50 year old
Yeah
Do you still find that the case to be?
They're good at cutting away.
Yeah, I think he's pretty convincing.
I thought you were going to hate this movie.
Do you hate this movie?
I didn't love it.
I can't say I hated it.
I didn't mind it.
I think it's pretty good.
I think if this is the last movie I get to see in a cinema.
Oh, my God.
If this is the last movie, Mason, I will shoot myself.
If this is the last movie.
James, your blood's so hot about this movie.
If this is the last movie I get to see in cinemas for like six months,
I'm okay with it.
I wasn't like, this is what a waste of my time.
I want to go out on Milan or Black Widow or A Quiet Place.
I don't want this to be the last bit of entertainment media
I consume in a cinema.
Not ever.
Yeah, but you never know how bad things are going to go.
Oh, no.
Not to panic everybody.
No, I don't think that's going to be the thing.
I don't think it is at all.
Yeah, I know.
How many people in your cinema?
Like three people, I think.
It was me and another guy who was on his own.
Sitting next to you.
No, and in front of him was another guy that was on his own.
But it also looked like one of them was the other one's dad.
It was like, I nearly took a photo, but you shouldn't take photos
of people you don't know.
Because they physically look the same.
Yeah, but like one was older.
You think they were the same?
And I'm like, am I in this line?
So if somebody took a photo from behind, am I like the oldest?
Yeah, right.
And they got younger.
So you don't think they were an estranged father and son team?
I'm like YouTube reviewers.
Maybe they really got into Bloodshot in the 90s as a father and son team. They may have been. Like YouTube reviewers. Maybe they really got into Bloodshot in the 90s as a father and son team.
Yeah.
And now they review movies but they're having a falling out
and so they don't speak to one another but they will get together
to review it on YouTube.
Yeah.
I tried to get them to make up at the end of the movie
but they pretended they didn't know what I was talking about.
Anyway, my point is if you watch it initially you'd be like,
there's a lot of cliches in this.
Yes.
But there's a reason for that.
Yeah.
But if you watch the trailer, you know what that reason is.
Yes.
Which makes it way less interesting.
Because he's like, oh, my God, I love my guns and my girl,
and I love, oh, my God, everything's so romantic.
I'm taking my shirt off.
I'm showing you my vest.
Oh, my God.
He's in his vest in about four minutes.
No, it's his white singlet.
Yes, yeah, that's it.
Is that a vest?
Some people call it that.
In England, you'd call that a vest.
Get the fuck out of here, England.
Get the fuck out of here.
Yeah, get out of here.
Overall, they made this movie and it came out just in time, obviously.
Yes, right.
Just in time to save entertainment in the year 2020. Blood's hot. Anything else? No, that's it, obviously. It's right. It's in time to save entertainment in the year 2020.
Blood's hot.
Anything else?
That's it, I think.
Here at whatever this is, we love streaming movies and shows and whatever.
Yeah, we love anything that streams.
We can't see any streams right now in real life because we stay inside.
Don't look at them.
Don't look at them.
So you had the idea a while back before all of this shit went down
that we should do like like a disney plus deep dive and but then but then we were like but there's so
much out there that we should else we could talk about yeah like the movies that are coming to
theaters but now there's no movies coming to theaters so we're just going to do this every
week right talk about all the weird stuff that's come to disney plus so when you go into movies in
disney plus and the reason we've chosen this one particularly is because- Because we want to talk about Gus, the mule that is good at kicking a football.
We've talked about it before.
We will never stop talking about Gus.
So we want to go through and find some of the weirdest stuff that's on here
that also I think could jog some memories because there's some stuff in there
that's like, oh, shit, I remember that.
I thought I dreamed that.
That's right.
It's one of the Weekly Planet's famous, hey, I remember that, episodes.
Do you remember some things?
I've got a real one, though, obviously.
Okay, do you?
This one I've just clicked on.
It's from 1968.
It's called Blackbeard's Ghost.
This still isn't a real one.
It's black-hearted scoundrel.
Also, you skipped one.
You skipped something.
I perfectly was too out.
There we go.
What do you want me to say about it?
I don't know.
It's probably voiced by Reese Witherspoon.
How the fuck
I don't fucking
know anything
about it.
Are we going
to burn through
all these or
are we going
to do another
episode?
I'm only on B.
Okay good.
Blackbeard,
listen to this.
This is incredible.
How about this?
We keep doing
these episodes,
not in a row,
but we'll keep
doing these episodes
until we've run
out of good stuff
to talk about.
Once we go
through this very
small list of good things.
Blackbeard, the once black-hearted scoundrel,
materialises in a small New England town,
cursed to wander in limbo until he performs a good deed.
He gets a chance when he decides to help a local college track team,
one that hasn't had a...
What?
What year is this?
Did you say?
68.
Wow.
Look at him. He's not even like a fit man. What's Blackbe? Did you say? Wow. Look at him.
He's not even like a fit man.
What's Blackbeard doing for you?
So Blackbeard, the notoriously cruel and violent real-life pirate.
Was he real?
Hang on.
I'm going to look it up.
I don't know.
He has to coach a track team.
This feels like a 30 Rock sketch and not a good one.
Okay, so he's real.
Yep.
Okay, what I'm going to do, what we're going to do is explain the –
can you bring up the plot summary for Blackbeard's –
Yeah, I got it.
Like they wouldn't know the Wikipedia one.
And what I'm going to – you can give us some plot points.
Yep.
And then I'll intersperse that with horrible things he did in his real life.
No problem. I'm happy to do it. All right, here we go with horrible things he did in his real life. No problem.
I'd better do it.
All right.
Here we go.
Oh, he's on a motorbike.
Actually, you know what?
I'm going to maybe have to walk it back because the Wikipedia page for actual Blackbeard says
he was a shrewd and calculating leader who spurned the use of violence.
Oh, there you go.
Instead of relying on his fearsome image.
But I mean, maybe that's by the standard of actual pirates.
Yeah, exactly.
Maybe he killed like 50 people.
Anyway, I can't do a synopsis.
This is the longest synopsis I've got because otherwise it's just the plot.
So Blackbeard finds himself full of team spirit,
departing from his roguish ways and dispensing his own brand
of invisible coaching.
So I guess he's also invisible.
Well, he's a ghost, obviously.
Why is there a picture of him? Maybe only the coach can see him or something. Maybe only that's also invisible. Well, he's a ghost, obviously. Why is there a picture of him?
Maybe only the coach can see him or something.
Maybe only the, that's the 60s.
This is Angels in the Outfield slash that movie where Hugh Jackman goes to modern New York.
Slash like Bewitched slash I Dream of Jeannie kind of vibe, right?
Who the fuck greenlit that?
I don't know.
Oh my God.
Blackbeard sounds amazing.
Yeah.
And he coached that team.
Coached that team to success probably.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
God, that guy needs like a shit idea for a movie.
Or the best idea.
Yeah, you might be right.
It's incredible, all right?
We should remake it.
What do you got?
All right, so we actually got this message this week.
I know we discussed this also via text messages.
Oh, yes.
But this is where I got the idea from, from comic book Click.
It says, how about some Robin talk on Weekly Planet Pod?
Hashtag Weekly Planet Pod this week in celebration of the 80th anniversary
of the boy wonder Dick Grayson.
Do you have a favourite Robin or Robin portrayal?
Is it John Blake Robin?
Of course, yes.
Or as he's known, some people call him Robin, I think.
It's his birth name or whatever.
It raises many questions.
It's fascinating.
Do we want to talk about, people might have forgotten this or not know this.
I will talk about this endlessly.
I will talk about John Blake.
I just need a bit of background as to what we're talking about.
Oh, okay, right.
Sure, go ahead.
Yeah.
So in The Dark Knight Rises, we're introduced to John Blake, played by Jogo Lev, Joseph Gordon-Levitt,
and he's just a beat cop in Gotham City.
Yes.
But he was an orphan just like Batman.
And so he knows, he figures out who Batman is because they're both orphans
or something.
Yeah.
He's got magical, he's got some sort of water divining ability
but for orphans because he's also an orphan.
Yeah, he looked into his eyes and he knew.
Yeah, he saw, yeah.
And there's no indication that he is any kind of Robin throughout the movie.
He doesn't put on a costume.
He does shoot someone at one point to death.
But then he's like, I don't like guns.
And he puts them down.
I mean, after this shooting, I'm just done.
Yeah.
And then at the end, despite having no acrobatic ability whatsoever,
he can't even do a single somersault.
Wow.
Batman just gives him all of his shit and goes, good luck.
Yeah, because of Orphan Code.
Madness, absolute madness.
That dude, first shot, he's swinging to the side of the building
and just explode, just a big bag of blood.
That guy's not ready at all.
Well, yeah, I mean, maybe he'll be a different man.
Stay in the car.
Right.
Fight crime from in the car.
But it just seems to be an odd.
I like those movies.
I like them as well for the most part.
It's just interesting.
I just wonder what, I wish I was there for the production meeting
or on set in that last scene because he goes to receive a will
or something like that.
He goes to some sort of office and he has to get some paperwork
and he says there's some paperwork for John Blake.
The secretary says there's nothing for John Blake.
And he says maybe it's under my legal name.
She says, oh, it's Robin.
Robin's real name isn't Robin.
And if he's always going to fight crime under his real name.
Organized crime will never figure this out.
They'll be after me, John Blake.
They'll never look in a phone book.
My understanding is that he'd just be a vigilante.
But he hasn't done any of that.
Or he'll be Batman.
Yeah, exactly.
But he hasn't done any of that weird mountain training.
He hasn't sniffed a weird herb and had a real bad hallucination.
He didn't blow up a clam full of ninjas.
He didn't do any of that.
But I guess my question is, did they say, was the line originally,
oh, it's under my original name oh dick grayson
something and then then somebody a producer somewhere along the line said nobody nobody's
going to know who dick grayson is people who have gone through the people people who have seen these
movies and love them and if they're and then have gone off on a deep dive about yeah you know these
common gun read the comics or whatever they won't understand, they won't understand the cultural touchstone that is Dick Grayson,
a Robin that's been in every Batman incarnation for the last 80 years.
That doesn't matter.
I think by the end of the movie, everybody's still there.
They're in the movie watching the movie.
And maybe they'll be like, what was that about?
Yeah, and then they'll Google it.
Yeah.
What they should have done is what they should have done.
He goes in and they go, oh, Oh my god your name's Dick Grayson
What a beautiful name
You should keep the name Dick Grayson
I don't know what this John Blake shit's going on
And then he goes into the Batcave
And then he's got the little feathery briefs
And then everybody who doesn't know who Robert is
Makes the connection
That's how you do it
And he's like do I have to wear these
And it's a condition of the world
It's like if you're taken over
Stay in the car and put these on.
That's right.
You can have my billion dollars, but you have to wear these briefs.
You can wear additional stuff as part of the costume, but if you don't.
Yeah.
And that's been whatever this is, isn't it?
Hasn't it been that?
That's right.
Absolutely it's been that.
A real deep dive.
The deepest dive you'll ever find on the character of Robin.
We splooshed into the water and we've finally come up for air, haven't we?
No, I'm still down there.
I'm drowning.
Oh, well, I'll see you later then.
I'm drowning in great content is what's happening.
So every year I feel my very tenuous knowledge of Harry Potter
slips further and further from my grasp.
And that was none more evident than watching the two Harry Potter movies
we are up to and our famous we watch two Harry Potter movies every two years
and talk about it.
We haven't done this in two years, yeah.
Yeah, because there hasn't been a magical beast.
Where are they at?
That's true.
Case, obviously.
They were in the case.
The whole time?
Just don't open the case.
Just don't open the case.
Keep them fed, obviously.
It's been pointed out to me since we've done any of the fantastic
beast movies, where are they?
They're in the case.
Don't open the case.
The case even has a little switch on it.
You push the little switch and then you open the case
and they can't get out.
So just keep that switch.
Yeah, good point.
It's a really good point.
The fake kind of.
Yeah, the fake, the false bottom in the case.
Just keep the false bottom there.
I will.
If I'm ever writing or in one of those movies.
If I'm the actor in that movie, I'll be like, listen to me.
I'm not doing this.
So he went through customs and then clearly he went, well,
the false bottom worked.
Now switch off the false bottom.
Yeah.
What an idiot.
What an idiot.
I've written here as a note.
Yep.
These great evil wizards aren't really that great.
No.
Because, again, like if we're using the metaphor that the wand is just a gun,
what is happening primarily here in this movie,
especially towards the end, it's a bunch of teenagers with guns
versus a bunch of adults with guns.
Yeah.
And none of them seem particularly good at anything.
No.
Like you'd think the adults would have more magic things,
like they'd have more strings to their bow in terms of magic.
But it's mostly just two teams of people just whapping blasts at each other.
Also, you could be doing the killing curse every time.
Oh, every time, yeah.
Is there any limitations on that?
Does it take it out of you?
Well, you've got to have a lot of hate in your heart when you do it, I think.
These people seem to have a lot of hate in their heart all the time.
Yeah, but a lot of these people are just going along with it.
They're just like
Yeah yeah yeah
Like Draco's not really
Into it is he
Talk about him
In the next movie
Yes
Though that being said
Helena Bonham Carter
Is great at these movies
She's really just like
Cackling it up
Just over the top
But speaking of like
Adolf being bad at things
You know when they all
Finally get cornered
In the ministry
And Malfoy's like
Hand over the prophecy
Harry Potter Oh I hate that Malfoy I hate him more than Regular Malfoy The young Malfoy I ministry and Malfoy's like, hand over the prophecy, Harry Potter.
Oh, I hate that Malfoy.
I hate him more than regular Malfoy.
I hate old Malfoy.
You know why?
Because he's stupid, straight and white hair.
I hate it.
Did you get pinned down?
Huh?
Did you get pinned down?
No, he did it himself.
He didn't get pinned down.
No, he pinned it down, but I'd pin him down and shave his head.
That's what I'd do.
You're stupid.
Yeah, we get it.
We get it.
You like long guitar solos and ice caves.
We get it.
We get it. We get it. You like long guitar solos in ice caves. We get it. We get it.
But Sirius Black then shows up, and to open the fight,
like restarting again, he throws a punch.
Yes.
And I'm like, just fucking blast him.
You can also freeze him and then hit him.
Right.
That's been established.
I've written here because I've got an answer for everything
and a question for everything.
In this universe, do you turn to the dark side if you kill someone?
No, there's no really like you can.
There's not dark side, light side.
It's not like Star Wars.
Because you know what I do, probably.
Yeah.
I'd go, how do you stun somebody?
Stun them.
Expelliarmus.
No, it's a different one.
You say, stupefy.
You're stunned, mate.
What you do is you go.
You're stunned, mate.
You're stunned, mate.
You go, stupefy, right?
Yep.
And then you cut their throat. Yeah, great. Because they're all evil. Straight up. And they're monsters, mate. You go stupefy, right? Yep. And then you cut their throat.
Yeah, great.
Because they're all evil.
Straight up.
And they're monsters.
Yeah.
You just stupefy, right?
And then, when they're on the ground, get out your penknife.
Exactly.
And their throat.
I reckon if I showed up to that thing with a gun,
I'd be evenly matched with whatever's going on there.
That's what I'm talking about.
Because, like, you would assume.
I can't block with a gun, though, can I, though?
I did a shield and a gun.
Yeah, maybe.
A riot shield and a gun.
A riot shield.
Because you'd think that if you're a wizard and you've been a wizard for decades,
if somebody swung a punch at you, you'd have a countermeasure for that of some sort.
But apparently you don't.
No.
So maybe I wouldn't even go stupefied.
I'd kick them in the nuts and then I'd cut their throat.
But nobody's really throwing punches.
Like there's no kung fu in this universe, is there?
But that's what I'm saying.
If you exist in a universe where nobody's expecting kung fu,
you give them some kung fu.
Yeah, straight up.
Right?
And then maybe they'd figure it out eventually.
But I reckon I could kung fu a bunch of those guys
before they figured it out.
Yeah, you take a year of classes.
Yeah.
You tear through them. Because also you just hit them in the wind out. Yeah, you take a year of classes. Yeah. You tear through them.
Because also you just hit them in the windpipe.
Yeah.
You windpipe them.
And then can you killing curse somebody without saying
Avra Kadavra?
I reckon it's probably harder, right?
So you hit them in the windpipe.
So you could, I'm not sure if it applies for that one in particular.
I don't think it does.
But you can think a thing and blast.
That's what I figured, yeah.
That's why all the cops in Fantastic Beasts can just be like pew, pew, pew.
If you hit someone really hard in the side of the head,
they're not thinking anything.
No.
Or like you said, the nuts.
Yeah.
You're just out.
You're just down for the count.
I'd be like half a brick-oss.
Half a brick-y-amo.
You just hit them real hard.
You just hit them in the side of the head with half a brick.
There's plenty down there.
Yeah, I agree.
Everybody's fighting in weird ruins.
Yeah.
You know?
Weird prophecies.
Speaking of that rope.
Maybe a poke, like a fireplace poker?
I think you could do it with a broom handle.
Yeah.
Just take the brush off.
Yeah.
You clean up a room with those blokes.
No problem.
Anyways, all I'm saying is the villains that have been built up for many years in the books and the movies, I could probably take half of them
without breaking a sweat.
That's all I'm saying.
At least half.
Yeah, that's fair.
Do you reckon you could take Helen and Bonham Carter?
She's quick though, isn't she?
Yeah, I reckon she could.
She can like turn into a puff of smoke.
Yeah, and whatever.
They all do that.
I'd lure her in with some gothic trinkets.
Like a ring with a skull on it?
Ring with a skull on it.
That's what you need.
Ring with a skull Like a
Gauntlet
Gauntlet, yeah
Yeah, for sure
Like some like
Some like lace doilies
But they're black lace doilies
Exactly
A pewter mug
But it's like a skeleton's hand
Yes, yes, yes, yes
Very good
Goblet
A pewter wizard
But he's holding a
He's holding a
A snake as a staff
A snake as a staff
And then the snake's mouth
Is like a little crystal ball
Literally with that She'd be like Ooh, and then the snake's mouth is like a little crystal ball.
Literally with that, she'd be like, ooh, and then crack her in the head.
Half a brick.
Half a brick.
Exactly.
Half a bricky-a-mos.
That's all I'm saying.
I'm not saying I'd win.
No, I'm with you. But I'm saying they would all leave afterwards and they'd be like,
that guy kicked the shit out of us.
Boy, a lot of us are dead.
Like we're not coming back from this.
Who knew?
He had half a brick.
That's all he had.
It is a big thing to do, tear into a room with half a brick.
People who love Harry Potter hate this.
I'm aware.
So, all in all, Harry Potter, am I right?
Yeah, you're not wrong.
Popular demand, it's back.
Oh.
But we're here for another superhero showdown, aren't we?
We are.
How does this work, this particular ongoing thing that we do?
The ongoing debacle that is the superhero showdown.
Well, how it works is people want to know definitively who would win in a battle between
superhero A and superhero B. And we, as the ultimate authority on these kind of dumb things.
Don't question.
It's unquestionable.
We're qualified somehow.
Yes.
Because we've talked into microphones long enough.
That's how it works, right?
There's been so many episodes of this stupid show.
So how it works is in the imaginary scenario,
each hero or villain appears at opposite ends
of a standard-sized American football field.
Once again, we do not know the dimensions of that.
We've never been to one or even looked at one that closely.
That's up to you, the listener.
That's right.
These heroes or villains notice one another,
determine the other one to be a threat,
and attempt to defeat the other one by the means
they would normally do so.
Yes.
There you go.
They have all the equipment they would normally have on them?
Correct.
So, for example, if Marty McFly appears,
he's probably got the DeLorean.
Yeah.
If Mad Max appears, he's probably got the DeLorean. But if If Mad Max appears, he's probably got the DeLorean.
But if Tintin appears, he probably doesn't have the DeLorean.
He's probably got some sort of weird Belgian DeLorean.
It's no good.
No.
The wheels are in the middle of the car.
It doesn't make any sense.
It's powered by whatever they drink as espresso in Belgium.
I don't know what that would be.
I don't know what it would be either.
Probably regular espresso, but with some sort of weird, probably put cinnamon on it or something.
What are you up to there?
Right?
What are you up to?
If you're Belgian, let us know.
Yeah, so we can make fun of it.
If you could, if you wouldn't mind.
Anyway, and then the winner is determined.
And as usual, our decision is final,
unless you have a different opinion, in which case you are correct.
Yeah.
Adam Collins says, in the spirit of same actors,
Austin Powers versus Shrek.
And if we're talking Shrek at the height of his power,
we'll be talking about before he has kids.
Because after that, ruined.
I think it's probably the height of his anger and power and strength
is before he falls in love.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Someone's taking the red pill this week.
Half and a lose.
Oh, I see what you're saying.
If we're talking red pill then, it's after he gets heartbroken,
when he's at his agriest.
Yeah, right.
That's probably, yeah.
That he's yanked out of that and he's dropped into a field
with Austin Powers.
You're just saying the height of fighting powers,
not the height of, but I'm saying what if – and look, I don't have kids.
Maybe he's like, well, I have to fight hard because I've got kids
and I have to go back to my kids.
So now you have to make the decision.
When would you be more powerful, if you didn't have any kids
or if you were protecting your kids?
I'm fitter now than I was before kids.
Right.
And I have more to lose.
I would say probably now.
There we go. Okay. So it's after Shrek is after kids. It's after Shrek. I thought about kids. Right. And I have more to lose. I would say probably now. There we go.
Okay.
So it's after Shrek.
It's after Shrek.
I thought about it.
You're right.
The other thing is I think Shrek would also be not impressed by whatever Austin Powers
is.
He's like, I don't understand your references.
A weird British man in Union Jack underpants.
Yes.
Shrek's also doing references.
Oh, that's true.
And Austin Powers is like, I understand some of these references, but not all.
Okay.
So what era Austin Powers?
This is modern Austin Powers.
Probably three.
Okay, all right.
So not 1960s Austin Powers.
No, because I think also the rules of love would apply,
and you've got to give him someone worth fighting for as well.
Oh, that's true, yeah.
Yeah.
Austin Powers also has a gun, and Shrek does not have a gun.
But is Shrek bulletproof?
We don't know. I don't know. Has he been shot by a cannon maybe in a gun and Shrek does not have a gun. But is Shrek bulletproof? We don't know.
I don't know.
Has he been shot by a cannon maybe in one of the Shrek movies?
He's got an arrow in his butt, so I don't think he's bulletproof.
Okay, right.
But would a bullet kill a Shrek?
Like a little Austin Powers bullet from his Walther BBK or whatever it's called.
Probably.
Yeah, you reckon?
So there we go, Mason.
Yep, two in the back of the head for Shrek, I'm afraid to say.
This is my last one. It's from
Justin Brown. Okay, I'm ready. This is a short fight. The Mandalorian versus Carl Urban, Judge
Dredd. Two guys, helmets don't come off. And one guy is a really good shot and one guy is like
mostly struggling to get by through the entirety of his Disney Plus series. He's very tenacious
though. He's tenacious, but he's a goof.
He is a goof, it's true.
And Judge Dredd is a fucking murderer.
Yes.
Straight up, straight away.
He's not a murderer because he's working with the bounds of the law
that he's invented.
You're right, sorry.
He's an executioner.
He's an executioner in the society that allows that entirely.
I think Judge Dredd appearing would say,
identify yourself, take your helmet off, and it would just kind of escalate for oh yeah for sure
because he he doesn't judge dread does not take no for an answer he'd say remove your helmet the
mandalorian would be like i won't for vague religious reasons and judge straight to be like
well i'm gonna shoot you because not removing your helmet in the presence of a judge is instant death
or whatever yeah and obviously he's got the got the armour that it would bounce off.
But I think he'd find the spots.
Also, that gun is insane.
Well, I mean, if this is traditional comic...
Well, which Judge Dredd are we talking?
Well, Carl Urban.
Carl Urban, Judge Dredd.
Yeah, he's got...
That gun's got...
He's got a hot shot.
He's got armour.
He'd shoot it under the...
Armour piercing.
He's got probably...
Let's assume, though, that you cannot pierce his armour.
But I would think he'd put it under the helmet and shoot it straight
into his head. And the Mandalorian's got
like a grappling hook. Does the Mandalorian have Baby Yoda?
Often he does. He often does.
That's the thing. That does change things
a little bit. Yeah, very quickly. I was hoping
to wrap that up, Mason.
Well, too bad. We're doing another 10
minutes. Yep. Okay, so Baby Yoda's got like one charge in him. That's true. It only works once'll do it another ten minutes. Yep.
Okay, so Baby Yoda's got like one charge in him.
That's true.
It only works once.
But it's very effective.
Yes.
And it can hold a big buffalo-type creature in the air long enough for the Mandalorian to shoot it.
Stab it.
Stab it.
Yes.
Steal its egg.
Do you think if you got Carl – how handy is Carl Urban floating in the air?
Let's say he gets his gun away from him. Yeah. How dangerous is he? How dangerous is Carl Urban floating in the air? Let's say he gets his gun away from him.
Yeah.
How dangerous is he?
How dangerous is who?
Carl Urban, Judge Dredd.
If he's floating in the air without his gun.
Without a gun.
He's not that dangerous, I don't think.
You reckon?
What's he going to do, swim through the air?
Maybe.
I guess it depends what the one-charge baby Yoda has.
Yeah.
Like if Dredd is like you're a baby operating a floating baby carriage
without a license, the sentence is death.
Yeah.
And shoots a bullet at Baby Yoda.
Dredd's not shooting a baby.
He probably would.
Baby Yoda stops the bullet.
Yeah.
Maybe that's his one charge.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, you might be right.
And then he's done.
But I mean, Dredd with no gun floating up in a bubble, useless.
Dredd with no gun versus the Mandalorian would still win.
Right.
There's no way he's losing that fight.
Yeah, you're probably right.
He's insane.
Yeah.
He's tenacious.
The Mandalorian gets out of things because he's got friends and luck.
Yeah.
Also, Dredd probably has a second gun.
He's almost certainly got a second gun.
He's just never had to use it because no one's ever disarmed him.
Well, isn't it if you disarm a judge, you automatically have to retire?
Even if he's floating in the air, he's not letting go of that gun, is he?
No, that's true.
Right.
Yeah.
It's dread.
Yeah, it's dread.
It is.
Baby Yoda or no Baby Yoda.
Yeah.
Big finish.
Love that movie.
We had a quick five to six hour break in the middle there, didn't we, Mason?
We did now.
Now it's Weekly Planet After Dark.
Absolutely it is. Now it's a bit sexier. It is. It would be, except you've got a break in the middle there, didn't we, Mason? Now it's weekly Planet After Dark. Absolutely it is.
Now it's a bit sexier.
It is.
It would be, except you've got a kid in the room.
It's not very sexy, is it?
No.
You know, some people love this.
Like a dad holding a baby, they're like, ooh, that's my jam.
Oh, that's true.
I think you have to be a better looking dad, though.
You have to be like a Jason Momoa or Ryan Gosling.
Like me, it's like, ugh.
Wow.
You know?
We should test that as some sort of fun viral video.
I think that would be, it'll be all
like, you know, big stinger title
and all that sort of stuff. It'll be like, is this
dad sexy enough for you not
to vomit when you see him?
It'll just be you out on the street. It should be me struggling
to fold up a pram or something like that.
Yeah, nice. Yeah.
Let's do it. Okay, cool.
What are you doing after the show? I've got time for this.
Yeah, but actually the good news is because we're able to take that break,
we've put together a topic.
That's right.
I mean, you would have probably known that from the title of the episode
for this week.
Let's keep it quiet for a minute.
Let's have the title be Just News, then people are blown away.
They'll be like, hot stuff.
Yeah, they won't.
Won't people not click on it then?
They might be like, yeah, I don't want to listen to this.
How about I call it something like Fan Theory's Hot Stuff?
Nice.
I think people will be really into it.
Fan Theory's Hot Stuff, sexy dad.
Okay.
Perfect.
Do you want me to kick it off or would you like to kick it off?
Look, I've got one of the crazy ones.
This is from Will Scheel.
It says, Batman is actually a spirit or demon-like ghostwriter.
It just finds a new billionaire linking all the Batman movies.
Oh, that's terrific.
I think that would be very good.
So they're just no-good billionaires.
They're just regular no-good billionaires.
Yeah, that's right.
Does he kill their parents?
I guess it does, right?
Because it gets them young?
Because they've all lost parents.
I see what you're saying there.
The way when I saw it initially, this particular one,
my real thought was they're just existing billionaires.
So it's like Elon Musk or whatever.
He's just out there building his batteries and calling people pedophiles.
And then all of a sudden he's just up in one of his penthouses
and the Batman spirit goes into his head.
And all of a sudden he's given the origin story.
Oh, okay.
He's like, ah.
So he just thinks everybody calls him Bruce Wayne and all that.
Yeah, I think so, yeah, yeah. But he's really just just but he's an eccentric billionaire so people let him get away with yeah
right because they're like yeah he can do anything he's not going to jail is he but i also like to
think that that this this spirit also like tortures them yes it keeps teaching him that it keeps
reminding them they're terrible billionaires it's the bat right the bat crashing through the window
that's gotta be it right yeah. I love that theory.
Here's something, because it was DC Fandome.
Nate wrote in and he said,
do you think Fandome is already hotter than Comic-Con?
Does it get its own sound?
I feel like woo should be something else.
What do you think?
Oh, that's a good point.
Because normally for Comic-Con we woo, we rate it on a woo.
How high is this woo?
How do you feel about this?
I think we should say, that's off the dome.
Okay.
You know?
What if it's like not as off the dime?
No, it's all the same every single time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So how do we distinguish between if something's good or not?
You don't.
I'm just going to say it.
Okay, good.
Great, great.
So people could let us know if they think so.
That's going to be my catchphrase as well.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
To indicate, you know, the unscripted nature of my.
You're a free-willing, free-thinking man, aren't you?
I'm a free-willing guy.
You might say that I'm off the dome.
I would never.
It's already exhausting.
It's exhausting me.
It's exhausting you.
It's exhausting the listeners.
I don't care.
So you're going to stick with it.
Good for you.
I'm going to make the assumption that it's going to go from, like,
physically painful to here to being like, yes, this is hype, you know, by the end of the episode.
Yeah.
Well, I think also there is some genuinely big reveals.
I'm hyped.
Is this bigger than Comic-Con?
Yeah.
Yes.
I mean, I don't have the numbers in front of me,
but just seeing everything on this has been trending.
Yep.
Hundreds of thousands, probably millions of tweets.
We've been like a lot of questions and opinions that people have sent in
to us alone.
And we're just a minor player in DC fandom.
We were barely in it.
We're barely in DC fandom.
I was just there by the side of stage going, this is off the dome.
What did you think about the.
There's a hand gesture associated with it as well.
Yeah, so you're doing a dome shape.
I'm doing a dome shape above my head, yeah.
What do you think about, what did you think about the setting for it,
where it's in this virtual world?
I kind of hated that.
Why did they do it?
It's weird, outer space.
It reminded me of the movie Space Jam.
Yeah.
But, I mean, what else are you going to do, you know?
Screens.
People want a big epic experience.
Yeah, right.
But it's obviously a fake epic experience, yeah.
But, if anything, they went too small. They should have done it in, like, the ruins of the planet Apocalypse or fake epic experience, yeah. But if anything, they went too small.
They should have done it in like the ruins of the planet Apocalypse
or whatever.
Oh, yeah.
And they should have had like the VP of marketing,
they should have made him like mime running away from like parademons
or something like that.
Instead of like a hook, you know, pulling him off stage
if they've gone on too long, just parademons show up in the corners.
They snatch him.
Yeah, and they're like, oh, and they pretend to pretend to mind running away this is off the dome he says yeah
that's right james they'll know where i got it okay i know where i stole this cool fun bit all
right let's start but this is in a rough order of when things kind of came out but wonder woman 84
yep we've got a new trailer that's right uh maxwell lord is the president maybe i just got
that he was just a general corporate guy.
Are you sure it's the White House?
It looked like it to me, but I'm probably wrong.
Or he was like, imagine this.
I'm the president.
And then there's a green screen and people are like, what?
It's the 80s.
It's the 80s.
Fucking hell, they said.
That's right.
Fuck, look at this.
Fucking Jesus.
Jiminy Christmas.
Anyway, I think he is just, I think Maxwell Lord is just a corporate stooge
and he's broadcasting.
He's gained the ability to broadcast across America.
How does he do it?
We can all do that now.
We all have various streaming devices.
Just about trying to get people's eyes on it, though.
That's the hard part of the game, isn't it?
Well, you've got to be as handsome as Pedro Pascal.
I am?
Am I?
Could I be in The Mandalorian?
So you don't see my face.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, yeah.
We're back on track.
All right.
Thank God.
Essential Giants written and said, what did you think of the cheetah design slash CGI
in the Wonder Woman 84 trailer?
So we do get a bit of that.
Kristen Wiig's character slowly evolves into a cheetah woman.
Because you can do anything you want because it's the 80s.
So you become a cheetah woman.
Yeah.
Why wouldn't you?
I would have picked something different.
Like what?
A cheetah man.
Yeah, nice.
No, I probably wouldn't be a cheetah.
Yeah, yeah.
I'd probably be like regular.
Just a regular man.
Maybe as handsome as Pedro Pascal.
I can't write that.
So he's like, he's in the room with you and he's like,
you can use this incredible technology to do anything you want. And then you emerge. You're exactly like him. And he's like he's in the room with you and he's like you can use this incredible technology to
do anything you want and then you emerge you're exactly like him and he's like what seriously
yeah yeah that's right what do you think it is yeah like oh come on and there's like a lineup
bunch there's a bunch of other people lined up and they're like i'm also gonna do that it's like god
damn it so i'm sorry could we if we can backtrack a little bit, if you could switch this in the edit, James,
could you say, and that's all there is about Wonder Woman 84?
And that's all there is about Wonder Woman 84.
And that's off the door.
Collings will fix that.
I forgot.
I almost forgot to do that.
I almost forgot to do that annoying thing.
Collings will put that back in, and then he'll leave this part in.
Great.
So it'll be twice.
Okay, good, good, good.
So you get maximum domage.
So you get maximum domage, and you know how the sausage is made.
Correct.
Get off the top.
It's off the top.
That's how you do it.
Just off the top.
Let's talk about the movie Mulan.
It was $35 Australian.
So for me, Claire and I watched it together.
I think that's a pretty reasonable price.
But for you, a man with no friends.
That's correct.
How did you feel about the price?
It was just good to have so many friends in the room with me,
wearing their robes and swinging their swords, you know.
There's no songs, obviously, so if you're expecting-
There's some orchestral moments.
There's some orchestral moments.
I looked at that lifting buckets of water.
I'm like, that's fucking impossible.
No, as me, Mason, the fittest man.
You'll never be in an ancient Chinese army.
We'll see. I'll show you. I'll show show you i can't believe they took that song out at least like orchestrally that song should be in there that's crazy dubstep version the dubstep version but uh james what's a more
current reference than dubstep tick miming a tip i feel we lean too heavily on tiktok we do
i think you've done that.
Yeah, I know I have.
But that's the thing.
I don't know what's newer than TikTok.
Email in.
What's the new?
Use email to tell us what's new and cool.
Send us a fax about what's newer than TikTok.
Grime?
Is grime newer than dubstep? What's grime?
It's a type of musical style.
Is it? Because you kind of changed direction there. No, it is. Grime is a type of musical style. Is it?
Could you kind of change direction there?
No, it is.
Grimes is a type of music.
Okay, great.
But Grimes is a musical artist.
That's a different.
Did he invent Grimes?
Well, Grimes is a lady.
Grimes is Elon Musk's wife.
I'm so out of the, really?
Yeah.
I'm so out of the loop.
Did you know that Grimes, well, you wouldn't know this.
Email in.
Tell me what's new.
What's current. Send a telegram. Did it, did it,, well, you wouldn't know this. Email in. Tell me what's new. What's current.
Send a telegram.
Did it, did it, did it, did it.
His third wife or whatever she is.
Well done, Elon Musk.
You've done it again.
You've done it again.
We respect you.
We absolutely respect him.
Yep.
Should we do the next segment of the show?
Let's do a new segment.
Anyway, so last week, Mason, we talked about franchises
that there were too many movies that they made.
That's right. Colleen's even put together a video, but we talked about franchises that there were too many movies that they made. That's right.
Colleen's even put together a video, but we talked about things like
why are there so many Matrixes, why are there so many Pirates of the Caribbean movies.
Get out of it, we said.
Get out of it, we said.
But this week, as an extension of that, we're going to talk about movies
where there was only one movies.
What if they made two movies?
What about this one?
I've paired these together because they're Will Smith.
There's Will Smith heavy because he's in them.
Hitch 2.
Hancock and I Am Legend.
Sure, and Hitch 2.
Of those three, I'd watch a Hitch 2 but I would not watch.
The other two?
I think Hitch would have a lot to say about Tinder.
Probably would.
Because Tinder's been around for a decade now.
Maybe.
So it'd be ripe for a skewering from Hitch.
That's so true.
But maybe he has to get back in the game because his wife hates him
and she divorced him.
Oh, yeah, maybe.
And he's on Tinder.
But he's like, he can't understand smartphones.
But he's also Will Smith so he can just.
Oh, yeah, it'd be fine.
It'd be really fine.
And he's both Will Smith, the charming actor,
and he's Hitch, the very charming man.
So I don't think he'd have a problem.
Could be called Hitch too.
He's not going to have a problem.
But maybe he's lost his edge and Kevin James has to help very charming man, so I don't think he'd have a problem. He could be called Hitch 2. He's not going to have a problem.
But maybe he's lost his edge and Kevin James has to help him.
Oh, yes.
Yes.
Because his wife died or whatever.
Oh, my God.
What?
You've gone too far.
His wife died in an explosion.
Just a – Yeah.
But Hancock, they've been saying that for a hundred.
I know you've got more Hitch 2 things to say.
No, I don't.
You look like you've got something to say.
I'm just trying to put together some elements that I remember
from the movie Hitch and be like,
how precisely did she die in that explosion?
Was she a diplomat or something?
I don't know.
No, I think she's a journalist because she's writing an article
on Hitch or something.
No, I mean Kevin James' wife in that. No, she's a journalist because she's writing an article on Hitch or something. No, I mean Kevin James' wife in that.
No, she's a high society lady.
An heiress or something.
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
Oh, I meant Will Smith's partner, Eva Longoria.
No, Eva.
It's a name.
I don't know.
She's in Ghost Rider Mason.
Oh.
Eva Mendes.
Yes.
Thank you. Eva Mendes. Yes.
Thank you.
There we go. Anyway, she dies in some sort of heiress-based explosion.
No, because if you remember,
Will Smith keeps making a fool of himself in front of her.
Like he kicks her in the face and he eats shellfish.
But he accidentally kills her in like a balloon accident.
Oh, so both wives are dying.
I never said Kevin James' wife was dying.
No, I thought that's what you meant.
So hitch to both their wives dying. That's said Kevin James' wife was dying. You misinterpreted. So Hitch 2, both their wives
died. That's what it's called.
It's called Hitch 2, both their wives died
but Hitch has lost his edge so Kevin
James has to help him. So Kevin James
despite the love of his life dying
has still got game.
He helps Hitch find
joint funeral? Yeah. It saves time. But Kevin James is the one that's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fine. Yeah. Joint funeral?
Yeah, yeah, it saves time.
But Kevin James is the one that's like, we've got to get back out there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, our wives just died.
Yeah.
And Kevin James is like, jackpots.
Because he's rich.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All the airline heiress money.
Yeah.
Great.
All right, I've got one more.
Okay, I'm ready.
This is a big one, though. money. Yeah. Great. All right, I've got one more. Okay, I'm ready. This is a big one though.
Yes.
The movie Bright.
You take everything that people know about the movie Bright.
Or cops.
Or cops.
And you make a second Bright movie and you call it Bright,
but the B's are two.
Two right.
And it's set in Australia And they're fighting bunyips
Too right mate
What do you think?
I love it
James I love it
What else Mason?
How about this James?
How about this?
How about this?
How about this James?
Yeah I'm fucking here, man.
Jesus, this fucking guy.
I can't believe this fucking guy.
Comes in here, wears one pair of podcast pants,
thinks he can just coast his way through an episode.
What a sack of shit.
I'm thinking of replacing him.
Maybe with me.
I'll just do it with me.
I'll just do that thing that people think I do where I do two voices. God, I really wish.
I really wish I could take a break from this podcast.
God, I wish James would just bring in somebody, just a third guy,
and then I could say, God, I just wish I could take a week off.
But he's never going to do it.
He doesn't have the balls to do it.
He wouldn't dare.
He knows the quality of suffer.
I mean, it might be funnier and more interesting.
But the magic could still be there. But, I mean, jeez, Inier and more interesting. But the magic, I mean, the magic could still be there.
But, I mean, jeez, I hope he doesn't fire me.
Can I fire you?
I don't know.
Do I technically work here?
I don't know.
I don't know.
The magic of the bit has been broken, James,
the way we're thinking.
What have you got?
How about this?
Mason Christopher Nolan.
Yeah, I've heard of him.
He's back in cinemas.
I mean, he's already came out. He's not personally back in cinemas. I mean, he's already, this came out.
He's not personally back in cinemas.
He'd go to a cinema.
I don't think he would.
He's seen Bloodshot.
He's keeping cinema alive.
Oh, is he?
Okay, great.
He's just seen Bloodshot over and over again, right.
Before we talk about the movie Tenet, which hopefully most people have seen,
but also maybe not because the box office numbers aren't great.
But don't stress because it's going to be out in digital and whatever on December 15th.
But I saw an article this week where Nolan talks about the sound design. I have this right here. But don't stress because it's going to be out in digital and whatever on December 15th.
But I saw an article this week where Nolan talks about the sound design.
I have this right here.
Here we go.
IndieWire?
Yeah.
Christopher Nolan says fellow directors have called to complain about his inaudible sound.
Yep.
The director has defended his sound design in the past
and he says that he's surprised how conservative moviegoers
are about cinematic sound.
Here's the thing, Christopher Nolan.
You know what all your characters are saying
because you wrote the script.
So you can look at the screen and you were there
as they did it multiple times.
You're in the editing booth as you watch that go through.
So you know, but nobody else knows.
Look, we'll get to the rest of the movie,
but just as a side note,
there are scenes where people are wearing gas masks,
where they're wearing oxygen breathers,
where people are talking through an inch of bulletproof glass.
Backwards, minor spoiler.
You can't hear what's happening in this.
And look, James, I don't have many skills,
but I do have medically certified excellent normal range hearing.
They test me at work, so I have to know.
MESO!
Yeah, exactly.
They yell at me.
He's good.
But every time, the doctor, it's always a different doctor,
is like, huh, perfect hearing.
So what I'm saying is, Christopher Nolan, you're wrong.
What are you doing?
So box office, just quickly, because we are going to get into this.
We haven't done an actual cinema release in a long bloodshot,
but $200 million worldwide.
James, James.
Sorry.
Before you finish.
I'm going to do it.
Don't worry.
I've written it down.
I'm doing this first.
Then I'll add surprises.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I would not forget.
Okay, cool, man.
So it cost $200 million.
It made $350 million.
So it probably didn't make its money.
It's just traditional.
I know, Mason.
I can't feel Gregor.
It's the third highest grossing movie of the year behind The 800 and Bad Boys 3.
What's The 800?
I think it's a Chinese release.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, I know what you're talking about.
But it might not be that.
So we're going to do non-spoilers, then spoilers.
Yes.
Mason, what do you think the story was?
Oh, James, no.
It's been so long.
You made me do it.
Okay.
Well, here's the thing.
The plot of this movie is not complicated.
No, it's not. Okay, the plot is there's a bad man and he wants to do a bad thing.
How Russian is he?
He's quite Russian, I think.
He's certainly foreign.
I'll give him that.
And if he acquires the thing, it'll be bad for the world.
But the only people that can stop him are a couple of backwards boys
up to mischief.
That's why I've written backwards boys.
That's it.
Just a couple of backwards boys.
That's the plot.
I mean, that's it.
There's no – the difficulty in understanding this movie is the nuance
and hearing the dialogue.
Totally.
What I would think would be interesting is what if Christopher Nolan
just did like a Bond-style movie?
A real, yeah.
Just take all that other shit out.
Uh-huh.
Because this is essentially like a guy's got a doomsday weapon and they have to stop him.
Yes.
Except they're a couple of backwards boys.
A couple of backwards boys.
Yeah.
So what if you didn't do any of that?
Do you think that would make it...
Like, you know, Inception is a heist movie, but it's also about dreams.
Yeah, right.
If it was just a regular heist movie.
Yeah, I don't know.
That's just... Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know.
I wonder if that holds no interest for him, I guess.
Yeah.
I'm sure he's been approached about Bond,
but he's like, I'm beyond Bond now.
I'm on different soundscapes you couldn't possibly comprehend.
That's exactly right.
It's a bit of a simple soundscape over a Bond movie, isn't it?
Bang, bang.
Oh, not for me.
No, thank you.
What I thought was also strange was the way that they were tackling
backwards crime was that they didn't really know what they were doing.
They're just like, I don't know, it's mostly instinct.
It was a bit of like Dirk Gently in terms of you just kind of stumble
around and things happen and then you kind of sort of make it up
or just go with it on the fly.
Like you can sort of plan, but it's all predestined.
Yeah.
What if you're the worst murderer in the world and you don't know
and you're like, I'm backwards shooting all these orphans.
I don't understand.
I went on instinct.
No.
Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
That would be mad, mad, mad, mad, mad.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah.
So I don't, I don't, do you know what I mean?
I do know what you mean.
So I'm like, is this just, do these guys even know what I mean? So I'm like Is this just
Do these guys even know
What they're doing?
Yeah
I mean I know they're making
Pins and manoeuvres
It did feel a bit like
You're right
They didn't know
They're like we don't know
You're right it did feel like
A bit yeah
Yeah Terry Pratchett
Kind of good omens
Like well it's
Sometimes the universe
Just sends you a sign
Kind of thing
Yeah
Alright cool Great Very good All in all Backwards Another bullet in the wall Kind of good omens like, well, sometimes the universe just sends you a sign kind of thing. Yeah. All right.
Cool.
Great.
Very good.
All in all, backwards.
Another bullet in the wall.
No, very good.
Okay, nice.
Anyways, Mason, we're finally talking new mutants this week, but who gives a shit?
Los nuevos mutantes.
Exactly.
More like los viejos mutantes.
What's the difference?
Old mutants.
Did you practice that?
No.
That's pretty good, man.
That's the limit of my Spanish.
That's so weird that you know those specific words.
Well, I sort of, I'm sure, I think, that's a guess.
Okay.
I'm pretty sure I'm correct.
So.
And if I'm not correct, we'll get emails.
Absolutely.
You'll get emails.
I won't get any because I didn't attempt it, just to clarify.
I have nothing to do with that.
But there you go.
I think that's a good opportunity, though, to work our have nothing to do with that. But there you go.
I think that's a good opportunity, though,
to work our way into New Mutants, more like Old Mutants.
Nice.
This is, again, long delayed.
It was shot in July of 2017.
I've got a list of things.
This is what happened to that movie.
Okay.
So with the release date of April of 2018,
but then it was pushed back to February 22nd, 2019 to Miss Deadpool 2.
Oh, I loved Miss Deadpool 2.
T.O.O.? Yeah, that's right.
It's just Deadpool and he's got a dress on.
Very good.
And then it got moved to August 2nd of 2019
but they moved that away from Dark Phoenix.
Then the reshoots were happening but then that didn't happen
because of the Disney purchase so they didn't end up doing any reshoots.
Which is surprising, isn't it, upon watching the movie?
No, I'm not surprised.
I think they saw it and went, why would we?
But it feels like a movie that's been reshot.
Does it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I feel like it's a movie that's missing things.
Well, yeah, maybe that's it.
We'll get to it.
So it was moved to April 3rd of 2020.
Obviously the pandemic hit.
It was delayed.
It was so close.
I remember seeing that in the cinemas.
It was actually delayed indefinitely.
Yep.
And then it was released in May of August 28th of this year.
And nobody saw it, including us, because we were in lockdown then.
What do you think the story was?
Oh, okay.
So this is a girl.
Yep. Danny Moonstar. Yep. And the story was? Oh, okay. So this is a girl. Yeah.
Danny Moonstar.
Yeah.
And she's like, oh, no.
And her family's like, oh, no.
There's a tornado coming.
We're going to save you from this tornado.
Something's coming, he says.
We need to save you.
And then there's the tornado or something.
Or maybe it's not a tornado.
Maybe it's a big bear.
Maybe it's a big bear. Maybe it's a big bear.
And then she wakes up and she's in a hospital for mutants
and there's one doctor there who's like, you're a mutant.
And she's like, okay, I'll take that on face value.
And you can't leave.
And she's like, seems fine, great, good.
And then they're like, hey, meet the other teens in this hospital.
They're mutants also. Yeah, and one of them's like, I, meet the other teens in this hospital. Then you meet us also.
Yeah, and one of them's like, I'm Russian and a racist.
And the others are like, we're just other teens.
We don't have personalities.
Some of us have accents.
Yeah.
Some of these might be our real accents in real life.
It's neither here nor there.
And then it's like.
I was cast because Game of Thrones was big at the time this was filmed.
That's right.
I like Maisie Williams.
And then they're like, weird stuff's happening in this hospital, isn't it?
Yeah, that's the whole movie.
Ghost stuff maybe.
Yeah.
And then it turns out that they all have to use their powers.
And it's –
See, what I think is interesting is the new mutants,
like the team, was sort of formed in this era in the 80s
where there was a lot of mutant stuff and also magic and sorcery and things.
Because we have a character in this literally who's called Magic.
She's got one magic arm.
She's got one magic arm.
And teleportation.
Teleportation.
And a dragon or something.
She's got Lockheed the dragon.
What's the deal with that dragon when it's not a dragon?
What do you mean?
Like it's a stuffed animal.
Yeah, I mean, in the comics it's just a dragon that's
what i thought yeah but in this i guess she's got so in the comic book she she her her mutant
ability is she can teleport but she also has magic abilities so she's also a sorceress which is where
like the the one arm and the sword comes the arm and the sword and that's how she knows the dragon
i guess but anyway in that version the demon bear isn't a manifestation of her own fear.
It's a literal demon bear, isn't it?
Well, it's the souls of her parents that were turned into a demon bear by a demon called the adversary.
Called demon bear.
Right?
It's a demon bear making demon bears.
That's right.
And the adversary was a demon that was let loose from hell
by the mutant forge who used his magic powers to save his Vietnam buddies
in Vietnam.
From a demon bear.
From a demon bear, exactly.
So it's weird.
But they've just had to – clearly it's from that like –
Yeah.
It's from that point of the X-Men where they're like,
this is too complicated.
It's like, you know, how the juggernaut is magic.
And Professor X's brother.
Yeah, exactly. But that's too much to put in. So you just go, oh, the juggernaut is magic. And Professor X's brother. Yeah, exactly.
But that's too much to put in.
So you just go, oh, the juggernaut's a mutant.
So it's the same with this where they went, okay, well, she's magic but also.
The bear's in her mind.
And the dragon, is he in somebody's mind or is he.
Yeah, but I think also like what they did is not complete.
Like I guess it's slightly simpler.
But it's like she gets a story about how you've got a bear in your mind. It's never
a bear in your mind. It's always wolves.
Have you ever heard that version of the story? Yeah, you've got two wolves
in the one you feed and whatever. It's never bears.
This time it's bears.
It's one bear.
Because a bear is about as big as two wolves.
I think that's what they do.
But that being said, this bear's much bigger.
Real big. Big bear.
Maybe it didn't start as a big bear.
You know what?
I would have loved to have been in the meeting where they propositioned this idea because
they'd be like, why don't we make it two wolves?
There's a character who can turn into a wolf in this movie.
So why don't we make it wolves?
Because the main girl, the bear.
They're like, well, we could just make it not a bear.
No.
It's a bear.
We're going to make it a big demon bear.
It's a good looking bear. I mean, it's pretty all right looking. It's a good looking bear. When it turned up, I'm like could just make it not a bear. No. It's a bear. We're going to make it a big demon bear. It's a good-looking bear.
I mean, it's pretty all right looking.
It's a good-looking bear.
When it turned up, I'm like, this is a good-looking bear.
This is the bit where she touches the bear and the fur on the bear moves.
That's hard to do.
Nice.
Probably.
Yeah, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't.
It felt really short.
I don't know.
There's a lot of wasted potential here.
Yeah, I mean.
In terms of cast and doing a different X-Men movie. If you've seen everything else on Disney Plus and Netflix
and you've listened to all your suggestions on Suggestible
and you're like, I've watched and listened to all of that.
I don't have anything else to watch, maybe this.
And you want to see a big bear.
Well, that's the thing.
I guess what you could do is just fast forward to the end
when there's the big bear.
But do you get the payoff?
Do you get that because the twist in this is that it's a big bear but before the big bear turned up
yeah and they're like something's coming run to the woods i'm like i'm pretty sure this is a big
bear like so when the big bear turned up i was more surprised that they included the big bear
due to budget constraints i'm like this bear's getting a lot of play maybe they've got a great
deal on cgi big Well, what you do.
Maybe they got some of that dark Russian money.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And they finally got the character Bear from the movie Nightwish.
Oh, yeah.
Who always constantly threatened to turn into a bear and never turned into a bear.
But this is the unused CGI from that movie.
Also, I guess you could just CGI like a regular sized bear.
Bigger.
And then you do like a tool to like drag it bigger.
Yep.
And people are like, oh, but you didn't pay for the full bear. And you're like a tool to drag it bigger and people are like oh but
you didn't pay for the full bear and you're like well too bad
so you know you could make a really
tiny CGI one so it doesn't cost much
postage stamp bear
if anything that's scarier
because you'd be like oh there's something in the letterbox for me
ah it's a little bear
it's got red eyes
anyway
crap
crap movie not worth the wait It's got red eyes. Anyway, crap. Yep.
Crap movie.
Yet another.
Not worth the wait.
Put it on the big pile of stinkers.
Nobody creatively involved with this I blame.
No.
I think it's a result of many factors.
Right?
I mean, you're going to blame Maisie Williams? You're going to be like, hey, Maisie, look over there and act scared
because there's a big bear, you know?
You can't say it now because we haven't finished it.
Pretend to turn into a wolf.
Right?
To fight the big bear.
Yeah.
How did they kill the doctor?
The big bear killed her.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Initially, Maisie Williams slashed her all up.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But then the big bear came and killed her.
She got both the wolf and the bear metaphor.
Yeah, because she was going to.
That's right.
That's right. There's a wolf and the bear metaphor. Yeah, because she was going to. That's right. That's right.
There's a wolf and a bear inside everybody.
Which one gets bigger?
The big bear because it's bigger and psychic powers probably.
And also Maisie Williams, a little gal, you know,
turns into a regular-sized wolf.
Yeah.
But anyway, yeah.
Anyway, I didn't like it.
No, I didn't like it.
I didn't like it.
It's a bad movie.
It's a shame, isn't it?
So dovetails, Mason.
Nicely into our topic for the week.
Dovetails.
Ooh.
Well, speaking of, that got rebooted, didn't it?
It did.
That is good.
What about this?
Yes.
Andrew says, I originally had this idea for Doctor Who,
but it could work in any series that's been going on for too long.
Keep the original idea and narrative devices.
The end.
No.
So he's saying like TARDIS companions, Christmas, et cetera.
You'd have to keep Christmas.
But ban them from using old villains, teasing characters' returns,
and any manner of destiny nonsense.
So you're saying new showrunners.
Yes.
Takes away the security blanket and they either have to wait for a really
good idea or not bother.
That's interesting.
Because in Doctor Who you're like, who's the master?
Yeah, every single time.
Every week you're like, which one of these is the master?
Yeah, what episode are the Daleks going to come back in?
What episode are you like, there seems to be some crazy stuff
happening in this Victorian-era town.
I wonder what's behind it.
And then you see the plunger appear in the last scene
and you're like, oh, it's the Daleks, I guess.
We'll see the Daleks next week.
All right, great.
Great.
Except now they're different colours or they've got like RAF stripes
on them or something.
Shut up.
Get out of here.
Yeah, new stuff.
Again, it's weird that he can traverse the entirety of the universe.
He or she can traverse the entirety of the universe and all of time
and space and encounter literally anything and it's always the Daleks.
And he's always like, but I thought we wiped them out on Axiom 4.
Well, you didn't.
You fool.
We were hiding in a foxhole.
There was one left.
Doctor, we must work together.
They have to work together sometimes.
There's bigger Daleks and they're meaner and they make fun of us.
Help us defeat the bigger Daleks.
We can't.
That's why you need new.
And that's the thing, there's endless creativity out there.
Some other things.
Yes.
You got any more?
Because I got one more.
No, go ahead.
I was just too busy thinking of funny things Daleks could say.
I can't.
I just like the idea of a much bigger Dalek.
Or there's a bunch of them.
And at the end of the episode, you see them coming.
They're like, where there's an ultimate villain we must team up against.
And they're just a really big blood fludger comes around the building.
And you and I are just like fucking Daleks again.
It's a big Dalek.
We get it, Scott.
and just like fucking Daleks again.
It's a big Dalek we get in Scott.
It's just a, it's just a, it's pushing cars out of the way.
It's always a Dalek.
And the previous Daleks, you could always defeat them because they couldn't go upstairs.
These ones can't go in doorways because they're too big.
They're too big.
Warner Brothers' entire slate for 2021,
they're going to be doing 17 films that are releasing to cinemas
but at the same day are streaming on HBO Max.
Yeah, so we're just going to go through the list
and I've got a little synopsis for each.
This is from Decider.com.
Okay.
So what about this, Mason?
I know you're a big fan of this franchise.
The Conjuring, The Devil
Made Me Do It. Oh.
Vera Farmiga is back, Patrick Wilson.
So after, also known as Conjuring
3, the third film in the horror franchise, etc.
My brother likes the
Conjuring movies. I will not say this. Which brother?
The one you don't like.
That stacks up, actually.
Are the Nun movies based...
It's from their universe, I think.
There's other ones as well. Annabelle's based on...
Annabelle Creation, yeah, but Annabelle Regular.
Annabelle Unlettered.
Annabelle No Sugar. Annabelle Premium.
Very good.
What have we got here?
I didn't have another one.
No, I didn't have another one either.
Okay, good.
It was Wreck of the Brains.
This one I would say, and I would take Claire,
and we'd have a fun time in the Heights.
Honest to God, I thought you were going to say we'd go together
and we'd have a fight.
Yeah, we'd fight in the car park after the movie.
Which one's in the Heights again?
But like Fight Club style.
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Like old Queensbury Rules style.
That's right. Putting your dukes up. The crowd would gather. The crowd would style. Yeah, for sure. Like old Queensbury Rules style. That's right.
Putting your dukes up.
The crowd would gather.
The crowd would gather.
Yeah.
He did one of the G.I. Joe movies.
And he did Now You See Me 2, which is your favourite movie.
Not true.
It's your favourite movie.
It's not though.
Not even the title's good enough.
In the Heights is the Lin-Manuel Miranda musical he did before Hamilton.
Oh, I see.
And I like the trailer.
And it's about like a community in Washington Heights
and it looks fun and hip hop.
Zero interest.
Also Annabelle Cool Ranch.
The dressing?
The Doritos flavor.
Okay, cool.
I don't know because that didn't tie into the other things we did.
I mean, I guess.
I guess, Mason.
What a stick in the mud.
Annabelle stick in the mud. I can just say anything. I guess, Mason. What a stick in the mud. Annabelle stick in the mud.
I can just say anything.
This is one too.
Yeah, that was great, actually.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Annabelle mic stand.
Oh, I'm loving this.
This is great.
Annabelle zero sugar.
Zero sugar.
Wait a minute.
No, I invented that one.
So on July 16th, Space Jam and New Legacy.
Zero interest.
LeBron James, Don Cheadle.
I would only go to this if my son, we watched Space Jam and he went,
yeah, cool.
Oh, okay, right, right, right.
So he's yet to see Space Jam.
He hasn't seen Space Jam.
It's not that he's seen Space Jam and he went, no.
I'd have to explain all the references.
Yeah, that's true.
That's from Pulp Fiction.
That's Lola Bunny, I'd say. That's Foghorn
Leghorn. I guess he's racist when you think about it.
See, the ref, it's quite clever
because Marvin the Martian is the referee
because they're playing Martians but he's also
originally a Looney Tune. So he's kind of
somewhere in the middle. It's actually great that they've
done that. And he's like, I'm in the
other room. I'm not watching this.
You'd be like, some people think Lola Bunny's quite hot but actually I like the'm in the other room yeah and you'd be like some people think lola
bunny's quite hot but actually i like the fox from uh from the animated series i wouldn't say
that because that's not actually true that's something you would say if you're in the room
only if i was doing an impression of you i'd be like hey hey kid come here here's some stuff
here's some weird stuff about your dad that's a good point i shouldn't show him this right
because like father, like son.
No, Mason.
That's got to run in the family.
It's genuinely not.
Look, not to kink shame.
Like whatever you want.
It's just not for me.
It's not for me, Mason.
If anything, it's for you.
Anyway, Spice Jam.
Spice Jam.
What's it called?
Spice Jam. A new it called, Space Jam?
A new legacy.
Tell the story of LeBron James' mission to rescue his missing son, Bronny.
Does he really have a son named Bronny?
Yeah, his name's Bronny James.
And so he finds his way through different Warner Brothers movies and faces off against the villain.
That description, like I'm in and out on that,
but the description sounds interesting.
You were saying different movies. Different movies. Maybe we we're gonna go to all the 17 movies of 2021 oh my god
that's right i absolutely insist that if they do that the the space jam characters have to appear
in the movie like in the movie they're crossing over into like you go to them you're watching
the matrix 4 and then just again just fog on leg oh they have to be in it yeah and he's like i say i say i say they're like whoa whoa yeah this isn't really
jared leader murder mystery thing you know exactly porky pigs in it that's right yeah anyway
matrix four yes i would see it even if they were like, this is the worst movie ever made.
I would still see this.
You could not not get me to see this.
Isn't it?
It's so close to coming out.
I mean, a year, but still.
A year, yeah.
I thought they would never.
It got pushed back, I think.
I swear to God, I never thought there'd be another one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know whether this will be good.
Yeah.
But I'm not looking for something to, like, redeem the last two.
Because they're not.
We watched them recently-ish. And they're not terrible. They've got some interesting ideas. I still think like redeem the last two because they're not we watched them recently ish and they're not terrible they got some interesting ideas i still think
they're terrible yeah they're not great but i'm yeah whatever i'm not i don't need them to rewrite
any of those or any of that stuff just whatever do whatever you need to do to make a good matrix
i think they should go absolutely insane i don't know what they're doing right now
yeah just go completely meta bring it into the real world, bring in the video games,
bring in the giant ants, just go crazy.
Maybe they jump into Space Jam 2 and Space Jam 2 is like,
we're supposed to jump into your movie.
And then they start shooting everybody.
You said anything.
You said anything.
There's no bad ideas.
No, it seems a bit cringe what you've said, James.
What are you talking about?
No, sorry.
That's rude.
Very cringe. What about Malignant? I don't know what that is. It's directed by cringe what you've said, James. What are you talking about? Nah, sorry. That's rude. Very cringe.
What about Malignant?
I don't know what that is.
It's directed by James Wan.
Okay.
It stars Annabelle Wallace and Jake Abel.
Mm-hmm.
And very little is known about Malignant, but James Wan is a well-proven commodity.
Oh, this is very helpful.
This is a description.
Okay.
He directed the first Saw movie, the first Insidious movie, the first Conjuring movie,
and even Fast 7.
Whatever he's got for us to watch, we'll gladly devour.
Really helpful.
Very, very helpful.
Really helpful, Decider.com.
Let me look this up.
I can't wait for whoever crosses over to the Warner Brothers joke
we were doing, though.
Am I right?
Yes.
Thanks.
Very good.
Brought it all back.
James, also.
What is this?
Annabelle, Ginger and pomegranate.
Mason, stop.
You're making me sad.
It's desperate.
Yeah.
Anyway, 2021, a solid 7 out of 10 as far as I'm concerned.
Looks pretty good to me.
Pretty good.
Anything else? That's it, I think. Now, normally we jump to what as I'm concerned. Looks pretty good to me. Pretty good. Anything else?
No, that's it, I think.
Now, normally we jump to what we're reading, what we're going to read, Mason.
Oh, yes.
But I figure because it's a special occasion, guess what?
People are looking for a little bit of entertainment in their lives,
a bit of love.
A bit of spice.
A bit of spice.
A bit of spicy love.
Guess what's back, Mason?
I don't know.
Hate mail?
Yes.
The hate hasn't ate it.
Yes.
For those people who don't know, hate mail but the. The hate has an eight in it. Yes. For those people who don't know,
hate mail but the hate has an eight in it
is a regularly occurring segment in the show
where I take eight bits of hate mail
from my YouTube comments
and I read them out on the show
except it's never eight.
It's always more than eight.
But it's always hate.
Yes.
So yeah, I've been having a good run lately.
I'm excited for this.
I'm very excited.
Now, these aren't all from one video? No, they're all over the place. They're all from different videos. If I've written down the good run lately. I'm excited for this. I'm very excited. Now, these aren't all from one video?
No, they're all over the place.
They're from different videos.
If I've written down the name of the video,
it's because you kind of need to know that going into it.
Otherwise, it can be from any video.
We produce a lot of hate.
So almost anything we say can set people off.
Oh, my God.
You are not wrong, Mason.
Okay, so this one says some John Johns.
Oh, the Martian man himself.
You two boy lover dipshits.
That's when there's caps, I should point out.
Yeah, right, right.
Nothing but shit talking C-bombs.
He didn't say C-bomb.
Oh.
Get of the welfare and go get some jobs.
Fuck you and fuck your channel.
And then it's like an emoticon of a sad smiley face,
then a fist emoticon hitting that, and then it says us next to it.
So we're punching the sad face?
Or it's the US punching.
I don't know.
Oh, okay.
Or us, maybe he's a group of guys.
I don't know.
That is a strong start.
Sometimes I'm like, how much hate is there left in the universe?
But there's enough.
Oh, is that our video where we were talking about how we're cheating the welfare system?
Yeah, that's right, yeah.
I thought I took that one down.
We're on the dole, we're also getting cash in hand work.
Now off to love some boys.
We don't even monetize these because we're on the dole.
Yeah.
This is from Gus Belanger.
Fuck me.
If I didn't already know tits came in pairs,
these two would confirm the hypothesis.
They must have won gold in the Australian or New Zealand
or wherever the fuck.
Too clever by half Olympics.
It's like listening to an AM morning radio show in Australia
reviewing a TV show.
Do these two halfwits think they get paid by the joke?
You know, these days I don't expect anybody to treat Star Wars franchise
with any actual respect.
Lord knows the fans don't anymore and you can make a decent argument
for why they don't, but I get the feeling these guys would make jokes
at their sick mother's expense if she was in hospital.
I don't suppose there's any room in between your terribly,
terribly light-hearted, brackets light-headed.
Oh, not bad.
Banter for an actual review of what Blindy and the Beard
is endlessly chortling about.
No?
Are you blinding?
Yes.
That's a new.
But I also have a beard.
Oh, because we're an AM radio team.
Yeah.
Because what happens there is he's come up with the name of the beard for me
and he's like, well.
But it could be me because maybe you're wearing glasses in the image of you.
Oh, okay.
It's a good point.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is good stuff.
Maybe I am blindy.
As that comment was rolling in, I'm like,
it's either a DC fan or a Star Wars fan.
I don't know because it's like I can't believe you don't take this seriously,
this thing.
It's not serious enough.
Why aren't you making jokes?
It's not fair that you make jokes about a thing that I like.
You've got to take it seriously.
No, we can.
I'll make fun of anything.
I'll make fun of things that I like.
But we should take it seriously.
Yeah, it's a good point.
This has been Freak of Nature. You guys don't have the brainpower make fun of things that I like. But we should take it seriously. Yeah, it's a good point. This is from Freak of Nature.
You guys don't have the brainpower to understand the genius of BVS.
Yes!
It's back.
It's back.
It always surprises me when it's like, people are still talking about it.
Because this isn't from 2016.
No.
This is from currently, yep.
Just stop bashing it already because you guys sound uneducated.
That's very true.
This is from Joel D.
Dude's constantly worrying about spoilers for 20 plus minutes.
Apologising like a dude at the water park with his women's studies classmates
any time he unconsciously looks below eye level.
There's a lot of things that I feel like people also take into this.
They bring their own issues to the comments, I think.
And also maybe fantasies of like a women's study water park excursion.
Yeah, the women's study water park excursion.
Yeah, you know.
Oh, that's a kind of women's studies.
I get it.
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah, I get it.
But that guy's really brought in.
I feel like if you got a snapshot of all his comments,
like you could really build a profile of that person just like,
oh, I get this guy now.
I don't want to hang out with him, but I get him.
This is from the Death of Green Screen video that I put up last week,
which a lot of people seem to like.
Jesus fucking Christ, I hate your voice as a sure for sponsors,
as you sure for sponsors to earn a living.
I prefer if you lived in a fucking cave.
There's a fake sponsor in that for rocks. I don't if you've seen have you seen it yeah i have seen it yeah
it's uh i endorse rocks yeah and there's no link to rocks and it's a guy eating rocks it's not a
it's not a real sponsor wow that's good good work thanks of all the videos he could i know there's
so many right there's like two or three sponsors a month. We've sold out for everything. We'll do it.
Oh, rocks.
This one I really like.
This is from the Transformers movies, Worst to Best,
where presumably I rank the Transformers movies.
I made this video like five, six years ago.
I don't remember it.
It's from General Cheese.
Six says, this fool is terribly misinformed,
and I just made a meme about this.
He didn't post it.
Where's the meme?
There's no meme. Where's the meme? There's no meme.
Where's the meme?
What's his name?
I'm going to Google General Cheese.
General underscore cheese six.
Okay.
If you just go to that video, it'll be the most recent comment.
Okay.
Look, I'm going to go to a GIF search engine and I'm going to look up
General Cheese.
General underscore cheese six.
Okay.
Because he's got to be in here somewhere, right?
Underscore Cheese6.
What's the meme?
No GIFs were found.
We said meme.
We didn't say GIF.
We said meme.
Oh, that's a good point.
You've got to go to like meme channel.
You've got to go to meme channel.
If people could see if they could find it, that'd be great.
That would be very good.
Because there's so many meme situations.
She Chicken says, this is just a weird take.
It's not hate, but Jared Leto's Joker was fucking gangster,
better than trash-ass Heath Ledger's 2008 garbage piece of shit.
Right on sentence, by the way.
I love it, though.
That's good stuff.
It's from Man of Steel Caravan of Garbage.
Rahul says, make honest video of your life failure.
I think we sporadically sprinkled that in, I feel.
I think if you watch the videos, you listen to the podcast,
you can get a sense of that.
Very, very, quite a good, like a little collage of our life failure.
So I think that's something.
Just keep watching the videos.
Keep watching.
Keep at it.
This is from My Nipples Are Eternal.
It's from Justice League Caravan of Garbage, the Zack Snyder version.
Okay, here we go.
The Obley reason only.
You don't know that for sure.
Maybe this is the Obley reason.
The Obley reason Wonder Woman made money was cucks of SJW pandering.
C-U-X.
This is from our Man of Steel Caravan of Garbage.
It's from Carmack.
I'm ready.
It's one of my guiltiest pleasures to hear morons talk
inanely about
things their sadly lackey
IQ couldn't possibly grasp.
This guy's good. I like him already. How can you
tell is if laughter is
forced, hateful, or just
weird? That's the
way the hosts laugh. Deep down, they
don't believe their utter lack of getting it
brackets everything.
And so it ends up being... This night of us.
Yes, specifically Man of Steel.
And so it ends up being really funny
but with the tables firmly
turned on them. Oh, hello.
Man of Steel rocks.
This commentary
essentially data for the doc
who tries to help you both
sub day. Good luck with that.
And then emoji face with the tongue sticking out.
Oh, I was going to say, if there was going to be emoji,
it might be crying laughing.
It's winking with the tongue out.
Oh, yeah, that's a pretty good one.
But he's done the eyes twice, so it didn't come together.
Should we maybe hire this guy as a consultant?
Because he seems clever and funny.
So maybe he could.
He knows how to have a good laugh as well. He knows how to have a good laugh as well.
He knows how to have a good laugh, a good genuine laugh.
That's true.
Which I think is important.
I don't think he's ever laughed.
I don't think so either.
What else have we got here?
This is from Hyper Horse and it's on the casting when we were like,
look at this casting that happened and nearly happened.
Hugh Jackman's in the thumbnail because it was nearly James Bond.
Hyper Horse says, stop wasting time trying to be funny your humor is cringe worthy at best
please just focus on movies you are not the fucking Doug Anthony all-stars oh what a reference
that's why I put that in that's so specific that's really like that's even a gamble that we'd get
that you know what I mean that's but that's like that's wild because you'd
have to make that reference and think it's a like a reference people would get you'd have to be like
60 yeah right i guess yeah so i'd put that in because for people who don't know the doug anthony
all-stars were like a musical comedy trio yes in the 80s Yeah. Like they're still around, but they haven't worked together in decades.
No.
That's nuts.
Anyway, I did respond to this.
I just saw it.
I just wrote, that is a timely reference.
Doug Anthony all-stars.
I know.
This is from Alma Sun.
It's directed specifically to you.
Okay, I'm excited.
For the Interstellar Caravan of Garbage Review.
Okay.
See, Mason doesn't have kids.
Probably his family doesn't like him too.
He's also not a fan of cerebral, well-thought-out movies
and movies that require a lot of attention.
This is the reason he does not think highly of Interstellar.
I respect his opinion though.
You're alone.
You don't have a family. No, I do have a family. They don't like me. They don't have a family no i do have your brain doesn't work me they don't
like or respect me your brain doesn't work properly that's fair but look some days i think
my brain works totally fine but the other day i thought are my fingernails growing faster than
normal is that bad or good or even true i don't. But I thought about it for a long time.
I'm like,
is this bad? Is my metabolism
working too fast now?
Yeah, it could be good. Or are my fingers receding?
Maybe that's it.
Can that happen? I don't know.
This is from Darkness Viking.
This is from our
Harley Quinn review, which became a YouTube video.
Oh, yep.
Isn't this show a big SJW fest?
Is the host SJW now?
Yes and yes.
Yes, I guess it is.
Yeah, I guess.
The wolf.
What's SJW about Harley Quinn?
Because she kisses a lady.
Oh, yeah, that is pretty SJW, isn't it?
And that's SJW.
Oh, my God.
Imagine people kissing who they want.
I can't.
What a world.
This is from The 80s Wolf.
Ooh.
So this is about, we did a video on whether Zack Snyder's Justice League
Cup will be good.
He said, why wouldn't it be good?
Zack Snyder do not make bad movies.
Not even his CGI Al movie is a bad movie.
Usually those calling his movies bad and you ask why, it's nitpicking and arguments like,
I don't want it to be like this so it's bad.
And not forgetting all the woke slash SJW types that decided
to hate him since 300 because adapting Frank Miller is racism.
This is good stuff.
First, if we get another SJW, we get SJW hat trick.
Bingo, bingo.
That's right.
So, oh, my God.
I've never heard anyone being like, it's pretty SJW that you adapted Frank Miller.
Because of racism.
I don't know.
This is from BJ Green Thumb.
Oh, here we go.
We got b Bingo Mason.
Marvel went so SJW.
Is like Star Wars.
After Logan, they pretty much went soy.
Though Logan is a different, was a different,
it doesn't matter at that point.
Obviously it's not now, but it's from Aaron Rice.
This is when, I think we might have mentioned that Bond
might have been a woman at some point. Oh, yeah. Or maybe the franchise take over. We talked about the Idris Elba thing, whatever. It's from Aaron Rice. I think we might have mentioned that Bond might have been a woman at some point.
Oh, yeah.
Or maybe the franchise took over.
We talked about the Idris Elba thing.
It's from Aaron Rice.
Anyway, it's a different thing.
Yes.
We talked about maybe there might be a different thing
and maybe somebody might enjoy a new different thing.
Not this person.
Not Aaron Rice, the last one.
If they make the Bond character a woman, it is a fail.
All caps.
It's lasted because of the formula why fuck it up
oh i forgot we live in sjw me too pussy time yes that was what i was laughing at before the show
also i love the idea that that the bond franchise has just been gone from strength to strength like
it's on the verge of collapsing. Every second movie.
Every second movie.
It's just a nightmare.
You know what I mean?
They're always looking to sell it.
Then a studio collapses and an actor leaves.
This year it's a virus.
It's always something, man.
It's always something, isn't it?
Yeah, there you go.
And that's Hate Mail.
There we go.
We've done it again, folks.
I really enjoyed that one.
That was good.
Thank you.
We don't like to overuse it. No, no. Anyway, I appreciate it. There we go. We've done it again, folks. I really enjoyed that one. That was good. Thank you. I thought you might have.
We don't like to overuse it.
No, no.
Anyway, I appreciate it.
Please again.
We're observing here, by the way, for people watching this.
We're watching.
You know what I mean?
It's like we're on safari.
We're not interfering.
You know what I mean?
It's true, yeah.
Just let them all go.
Let them all go about their days.
Leave the location better than you found it.
Exactly.
That's right.
But also point.
Yes, also point.
Well done, everyone.
Everyone who leaves a comment, I like them.
I love them.
It's good, isn't it?
I marry every single one of them.
It's true.
But obviously I can't because we're quarantined.
And you can't have a blood orgy during a quarantine.
That's true.
Next segment of the show, Mason.
That's what we read and what we're going to read.
What we're going to read.
Yay. Yay. Next segment of the show Mason That's what we're reading, what are we going to read? What are we going to read? Yay
Sorry for my baby everybody
But what do you want me to do?
What do you want me to do?
Is that what you say to the baby when the baby makes noise?
Do you go yay?
No, that's my general enthusiasm
That's not a bad idea though
Just some positive reinforcement
I'm just trying to find this fucking theme
James, there is a baby in the room A baby who does not comprehend anything That's not a bad idea, though. Just some positive reinforcement. I'm just trying to find this fucking theme. Here we are. I found it.
James, there is a baby in the room.
A baby who does not comprehend anything.
You've got to pick the point from when to not swear in front of your baby.
But I also have a theory that in the future, this is insane, by the way.
This is your fan theory. Just bear in mind that there will be a form of technology in the future
where people will be able to perfectly recall memories
through some sort of machine.
So she could come back in time and just listen to this
and just be like, my dad was insane.
Like he kept it kind of pretty,
he kept it kind of together when I'm around.
I mean, he's more insane now in this crazy future we live in.
But yeah, I can see the seeds.
Look, I can, you know, there are people out there that seem to have perfect recall.
I mean, you know, just transfer that to an app.
Yeah.
Yeah, oh my God.
It's as easy as that.
That's right.
Just put it in an app.
Man, I've said so many mean things to your other kid as well.
Yeah.
You give the finger to my children when they're really little.
I really do, yeah.
I enjoy it.
Yeah, it's fun.
But you stop doing it to my other kid now.
Because he knows.
He'd start doing it to you.
He'd be like, what does this mean?
Here we go.
Let's do the next segment.
I'm doing the thing.
What are we reading today?
What?
Got something to say to James, I heard you.
You got something to say to me?
I heard you.
You didn't hear nothing.
No, you said nothing.
You didn't hear a goddamn thing.
I promised you wouldn't.
I didn't promise and I didn't say it.
I'm being gaslit over here.
But the other thing is you've already explained it,
so I can say it.
I guess that's probably true, yeah.
And as long as you explain it at the top of every episode every week,
I can continue to spiral. Wow. Okay, good. Well, as long as you keep spir I guess that's probably true, yeah. And as long as you explain it at the top of every episode every week, I can continue to spiral.
Wow.
Okay, good.
Well, as long as you keep spiralling, that's good.
We're doing what we're reading, I guess.
Yeah, nice.
It's not just any of what we're reading.
We've got a specific thing.
And don't worry, I'm going to fix the theme song so we can talk about it.
You ready?
Yeah.
I'm doing the theme.
Westworld. I fixed it. Nice. We're talking a little bit about Westworld, aren't we? Westworld.
I fixed it.
Nice.
We're talking a little bit about Westworld, aren't we?
A little bit about Westworld, yeah, yeah.
Westworld.
Am I going to do that every week?
I don't know.
Maybe.
For the last week.
We're not talking about Westworld, are we?
I don't know.
I want to talk about Doom Patrol.
Westworld.
My new thing, I say Westworld.
It doesn't make any sense.
It's going to get to the point where I don't even know why I'm doing it.
Yeah, good, great.
But I do it.
It's a Pavlovian response.
Yeah.
And I hope everybody at home does it too.
What are we waiting for?
Westworld to go.
You think I wasn't going to do it, Mason?
Did you think I wasn't going to do that?
No, I thought you were going to do it.
I knew you would.
Well, I'm nothing if not boring and predictable.
That's the spirit. What are we waiting for? Westworld to go. I knew you would. Well, I'm nothing if not boring and predictable. That's the spirit.
What are we reading today?
I'll never forget.
I'll never forget.
Have I broken you on this?
No, it's good.
You seem to be finding it funnier every week.
I enjoy it a lot.
What I enjoyed is because, you know, surely we're probably getting,
you know, new listeners every once in a while, you know,
people who are like, oh, I'm stuck at home,
I would like to listen to a new podcast, And then this happens and you just scream Westworld.
Even though we haven't talked about Westworld in weeks.
Yeah, absolutely.
That's very cool.
So what are you Westworlding today?
Don't do it, James.
Westworld.
You loved it last week.
Yeah, I've come around again.
I'll get you back.
Yeah, maybe.
Maybe you will.
Yeah.
Westworld. You didn't hear nothing. Oh, I heard it. Oh. I'll get you back. Yeah, maybe. Maybe you will. Yeah. You didn't hear nothing.
Oh, I heard it.
Oh, I heard it.
You're laughing at over there.
I'm back.
I'm back on board.
Keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself, please.
Okay, I will.
It's a big week for Netflix.
It is.
Did you watch any of Transformers War for Cybertron?
I have to put the theme song in first.
Okay, right.
Let me put the theme in.
I thought you would have snuck it in there.
Let me say Westworld.
Okay, right. Oh, that's right. You I thought you would have snuck it in there. Let me say Westworld. Okay, right.
Oh, that's right.
You do it live now.
Yeah.
Okay.
Everybody's come around on this Westworld thing, I think, Mason.
I think people hated it initially, but now I've broken them down.
And it's expected.
I've seen in the Reddit, people are like,
now I imagine it in previous episodes.
Yeah, I've seen some people have said, like, if I don't hear that,
I'm liable to turn the podcast off and throw my phone in disgust.
Great stuff.
You've changed the world, James.
I feel like I have.
Mason, what are you reading today?
Oh, good question.
I'm trying to think, James.
It's been a big week for this little fella.
No doubt.
That's me.
Yeah.
Anyway, should we go to the next segment of the show?
Yes.
But what is it?
Because I always forget.
James, it's called What We Read In.
Yeah.
I'm not finished.
Let me finish.
I'll wait.
What we gonna read.
I remember now.
Yeah.
Because I say Westworld in the theme.
You do.
It's true.
I'm doing the theme.
Westworld.
Oh, I stopped the theme song too early.
Oh, my God.
People are going to hate that.
Anyway, let's go on.
You start because I cannot remember for the life of me.
I've had some time off, but I don't know what.
What have you been doing, Mason?
Just crimes.
I thought you were going to say just crying.
But you said it sinister, just crying.
Yeah.
Anyway, next segment of the show, if I remember, I'll mention it. Please do. Do you know what it is? You said it's sinister, just crying.
Anyway, next segment of the show, if I remember, I'll mention it.
Please do.
Do you know what it is? It's what we read in and then what we're going to read.
We both watched Enola Holmes, right?
I haven't even put the theme song in, Mason.
Oh, my God.
What are you doing?
I was too excited that we both had something that we watched at the same time.
Normally I'm like, oh, that sounds good.
I'll get to it next week.
Yeah.
And then I'll say, I'll watch the thing and you're like,
I've forgotten it already.
Yeah, because there's a million things on.
We're just not in sync.
All right, here we go.
What is this?
It's the What We Reading theme, but because it's the first episode,
it'll be fresh.
Nice.
I'm doing the theme.
Westworld.
That is the first time I have done that.
Oh, it was already annoying though.
I don't know why.
Don't say words over the themes.
God damn it, James.
What are we, Westworld, to do?
All right, Mason.
You son of a bitch.
Yeah, thanks.
What are we, Westworld, to do?
Getting bolder, Mason.
Very bold.
Very bold. Westworld For today? Getting bolder, Mason. Very bold. Very bold.
Westworld, today.
For a second I'm like, I'm going to let it die.
Like my brain said, just let it go.
For 2021, just let it go?
And then I just said it really loud.
But then you were like, remember our motto for 2021.
Remember who you are.
Never let anything go ever.
And we are back for what we were eating.
We didn't go anywhere.
So I say we're back, but
it's just, we didn't move.
But maybe people
leave the room and then come
back to their... They're like, we've got time.
And when we say we're back,
it's me, you and the listener, because we're all in this
together. We're all back. That's great.
It's a good way to look at it. Obviously it's more
me and you, because we don't know the listener.
That's true. But they know us.
But we don't know them, just to clarify.
No, we're best friends with them individually.
Okay.
I don't think they appreciate your pandering, quite frankly.
I'm not pandering.
This is real.
I personally know every listener because you sit in your ivory tower
just making the podcast
and then you just put it.
But I personally contact every listener and then we hang out.
I mean we can't do it now obviously because of but I break the rules.
That's good.
And I break isolation.
I go out and I talk to people individually.
If you're a new listener and you haven't met Mason, hit him up,
Wikipedia Brown.
Introduce yourself.
That's my fault.
He will hit you back this week. As many of you as you can. met Mason. Yeah. Hit him up. Wikipedia Brown. Introduce yourself. That's my fault. That's my fault.
He will hit you back this week.
As many of you as you can.
We'll hang out.
We'll cough in each other's mouths.
This is real.
You caught my bluff.
That's right.
Anyways, what are you reading?
Oh, my goodness.
All right.
You know what is not my favorite thing in the world necessarily?
I think it's growing on me.
Have you seen Medical Police?
Not yet.
Okay.
I think it's growing on me. There's some good standard? Not yet. Okay. I think it's growing on me.
There's some good standards.
Jason Schwartzman has a little appearance in it.
Okay.
He's called the Condor or something like that.
It's pretty good.
I like it.
What is that guy's deal?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Is he?
Because I feel like he's not rich enough to do whatever.
I'm going to look up Jason Schwartzman net worth,
and then we'll know where he's at.
Okay, right.
I bet it's like $4 million
I bet it's $20 million
Yeah, it is
You're dead on
Here's the thing though
I think that's just
At minimum
I think if this net worth thing doesn't know
it just guesses $20 million
you should put in Mr. Sunday Movie's net worth
Oh, that'd be interesting
Oh my god
And then I'll know
$20 million
I hope it's $20 billion
Oh my god
Fingers crossed
My net worth is $900,000 Really? I mean, I guess if you And then I'll know. $20 million. I hope it's $20 billion. Oh, my God. Fingers crossed.
My net worth is $900,000.
Really?
I mean, I guess if you – how does it not – I mean, but I'm thinking, though, like I have a house, but I don't own it.
So, no, it's not at all.
I'm not renting it.
I'm paying it off.
Yeah, right.
Would there be a way to figure it out based on, like, your YouTube views?
Sort of, but it's kind of – it's wild.
Like, it's so up and down. And I don't just mean, like, YouTube views? Sort of, but it's kind of, it's wild. Like it's so up and down.
And I don't just mean like the views.
I mean like.
But it just gives like the explanation of how much money you make on.
But also not everything is monetized.
And like I pay multiple editors and colleagues and you
and Claire gets money also for some reason.
I'm not, I'm not.
There's various other things going on.
Just imagine you on the couch married with children style,
just doling out the cash, you know, and then the dog takes the money.
The dog takes the money.
What's a dog going to do with money?
But I think the bigger question rather than your net worth is would you fight.
I got excited for a bit.
I'm like, I'm going to nearly a millionaire.
They present you with a check.
And then I thought about it for a second.
Yeah.
The bigger question is would you fight the carpet from Aladdin?
Fuck yeah, man.
I'd beat the shit out of that carpet.
What if it's like a –
No, it'd kill me.
Yeah, I was going to say it's like a Doctor Strange cape kind of situation.
No, I'd try and befriend the carpet and use it in the battle.
Yes.
I'd get Aladdin's sword and the carpet.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
No, I wouldn't fight the carpet.
Would you fight the great mouse detective?
How big is it?
Just regular size mouse?
Regular size mouse.
Or is it man sized?
No, it's a mouse size. It's a mouse size. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, definitely. I'd regular size mouse? Regular size mouse. Or is it man sized? No, it's a mouse size.
It's a mouse size.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, definitely.
I'll squash that mouse.
Okay, wow.
Yeah.
Would you fight Maid Marian, but she's the fox and you're in love with her?
How could you fight something that you love, Mason?
But then again, maybe my like bigotry for that kind of thing would come through.
Yeah, maybe that's true.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just to clarify, it's you who's in love with the fox.
It's not.
It's not.
The fan art would suggest otherwise.
I didn't realize also, when I chose my avatar,
it looks like a furry avatar.
Yeah.
It's not something I'm against.
Because you don't want to reveal that.
No, I probably would.
I'm not against it.
It's just not really my thing.
Which of the seven dwarves would you fight?
The dumb one first.
Dopey.
Okay, right, yeah.
You, James.
We're watching, yes.
You've been watching a TV show on Netflix.
Yes.
What's it called?
I'm not okay with this.
I'm only like two and a half in.
And it's superhero-esque?
I don't know.
Oh, okay, right.
I have no idea.
Okay.
There's things of like, this girl got powers, what's going on?
Okay.
But I don't know.
Okay, and you're enjoying it.
Well, you're not enjoying it.
I am enjoying it.
Oh.
So I started that maybe a couple of hours before you came over, after i did my day of gardening in the garden they made me garden
oh no you don't understand though i don't like any of that shit i'd rather pay a guy
and then i looked at my bank account and went you should probably just do it yourself yeah
but hey you wouldn't be unfamiliar with hoeing oh that's right. He's back. What's that?
Where's my white wine?
What's the name of that character?
Jurassic Snark.
Of course.
I enjoyed all the Jurassic Snark memes.
Me too.
Something we didn't get to, but I've only just seen it now because it's in my browser.
Yeah.
This is from ladbible.com.
Well, they've asked Michael Caine, and he says,
Batman was one of the greatest things he's ever done.
Mr. Bruce.
In my life.
The veteran actor who turns 87 tomorrow, Saturday,
recounted how he got involved with the Krista Nolan trilogy
in an interview with Indian newspaper The Hindu.
Nolan came to the front door of his house in the country with a script.
Could see him through the glass, but I couldn't recognise him.
The moment he introduced himself, I knew exactly who he was
because I was a great fan of his three small films.
I told him, I'm too old for Batman.
What do you want me to play, the butler?
What would my dialogues be?
Would you like another beverage or more custard?
Quote from him.
And that's a direct audio from the interview.
That's really funny.
Anyway.
Batman doesn't eat custard.
So I did the movie and it was one of the greatest things I've done in my life.
He's done a few Nolans because he also did.
He did Dunkirk.
He was in a voiceover.
Wasn't he also in My Dad's Lost in Space and look at all this corn dying?
Oh, maybe.
Also, he's going to be in Tenet, which is coming out,
which is due to be released in July.
Who knows?
Who does know?
Good on Michael Caine.
Good on him.
And good on us for playing.
Wait, there's one more clip that says, from the end,
it says, my name's Michael Caine.
Oh, at the end?
Yeah, it's just at the end, yeah.
But also other things.
Wow.
You know what I will watch?
What?
Speaking of.
Bruce Willis.
Just kidding.
I'll probably watch The Devil All the Time.
Oh, that's supposed to be good.
Speaking of MCU fan castings, Tom Holland.
And Anthony, not Anthony Mackie.
The other guy who's in The Winter Soldier.
Sebastian Stan.
Yes, I believe.
And Robert Battenbatter's in there as well.
He's not in an MCU movie, Mason.
I know.
Don't you know anything about movies?
No, I don't know anything.
They're all the same to me.
Okay.
What's that about?
Like a bad family or something?
You know what?
I'm just going to tell you off the top of my head what it's about.
Here we go.
Sinister characters converge around a young man devoted to protecting those he loves in
a post-war backwards town teeming with corruption and brutality.
What does it mean by post-war?
Like in the 50s, I think.
Okay, cool.
Or late 40s, yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Great.
It's exciting.
I'm excited to see Tom Holland in a role that isn't Spider-Man.
Yeah, and he's like,
the devil's all the time in this town.
Right?
I'm smoking a cigarette because I'm a man in this one.
Smoking a cigarette, I've seen.
Wow.
Yeah.
It's rude.
I agree.
But it's the 50s. It's seen. Wow. Yeah. It's rude. I agree. But it's the 50s.
It's post-war.
Yeah.
And unfortunately, Netflix hired a guy to sit in the background
of all those scenes and he would smoke and then the guy would be like,
well, it's the 50s though, isn't it?
So it's fine you're doing that.
It's like a stage play.
You're technically allowed to smoke in a stage play or something.
Are you?
It gets around the rules of like theatre.
Oh.
So if you ever just want to smoke indoors, just make a fake play.
Just do a monologue and smoke a pack of cigarettes.
Yeah, right.
Okay.
Just whatever's on your mind, you know.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, there you go.
Just sell out a theatre.
Have a couple of caspers.
Yeah, nice.
I'll tell you what, next time we do a live show,
I will smoke 30 cigarettes.
Scrubs.
Just one after the other.
In total silence.
And we just count one every time you finish smoking.
We're like, one.
I reckon I could probably do four before I vomit.
Do you reckon I could do four?
I could probably do four.
Yeah, probably you could do four.
Okay, are we doing letters?
We are doing letters at some point. I think we should do letters. Yes. I can probably do four. Yeah, probably you can do four. Yeah. Okay. We doing letters? We are doing letters at some point.
I think we should do letters.
Yes.
The classic one was letters, oh letters.
We love you.
Some letters.
Here we go.
They're only a take away.
We're going to hear right now.
We're going to do letters.
I lost the beat, James.
It's okay.
I lost it.
It's okay.
We'll get it back.
Keep going.
There we go.
Did you feel that?
Yeah. It was great. In the spirit of letters, I have a letter. Oh, that's good. That's get it back. Keep going. There we go. Did you feel that? Yeah, it was great.
In the spirit of letters, I have a letter.
Oh, that's good.
That's perfectly in the spirit of letters.
I haven't done a tweet.
I took this from the mailbag.
Oh, yeah.
So I'm sorry.
In the spirit of keeping it brief.
On my territory.
Wow.
That's right.
I apologize.
But I could not resist reading this one out.
Okay, I'm excited.
If you do want to reach the show, if we are back next week, which we very well won't be,
hashtag WeeklyPlanetPod on Twitter or WeeklyPlanetPod at gmail.com.
This is from Mitch.
I won't read his last name because you'll see why.
I wanted to let you know that your decision to revisit the Brosnan Bond films
has stirred up some past trauma.
Hopefully you get a kick out of this story.
Tomorrow Never Dies was the first Bond film I ever saw in theatres.
My older brother took me and I was nine years old at the time.
The main reason I wanted to go is because of Goldeneye,
the N64 video game.
Anyways, the movie gave me my first visually simulated sexual erection.
I got through the movie fine.
That's not what it's all about.
I should point out.
Okay, sure.
I realized I was reading this.
This is an odd thing to read out.
But it's also an odd thing to write.
That's right, yeah.
But when I got home, I innocently told my brother about this
during the movie, hoping for some older brother advice
on what the hell was happening in my body.
Instead, my brother laughed his ass off, told my entire family,
and to this day is brought up every single Christmas
or whenever I bring a new girlfriend home to meet everybody.
Whenever James Bond comes up, my entire family asks me if I'm getting an erection.
I constantly get sexy pictures of James Bond.
I've probably gone mad.
No, that's good stuff.
I read that earlier in the week.
That's some good stuff.
Yeah.
They will hopefully forget as soon as they stop making Jason Fong movies
but apparently
that will never happen
as I'm glad to say
Tomorrow Never Dies
is a very influential
film of my life
if you take that into account
I haven't watched it since
but since
but because you brought
it back with the camera
to garbage
I have no idea
what scene it was
or even who the
Bond girl was
but I'm sure
it will come back to me
I love your work
keep it up Mitch
so yeah
that's great work, Mitch.
Congratulations.
Oh, man, just the idea that that's just resonated throughout his entire life.
I love the idea that he's bringing a new girlfriend around.
Yeah.
And they're just like you can just see the wheels turning
and all these families' heads of like how can we squeeze in a Bond reference.
Yeah.
And then when the girlfriend's like, oh, I've never seen a James Bond movie
or whatever, they can be like, yeah, well, he's seen plenty.
He's had plenty of boners over him.
That's one of those things that reminds me of a story of a friend of mine.
I don't have time for this.
But when he brought home his new girlfriend first time,
his little brother like dacked him, like fully dacked.
And he's like, I'm still going to get him back.
And I'm like, that was like 20 years ago.
And he's like, no, I'm not getting it.
He just needs to find the moment.
Because you can't just dack him.
No, that's true.
You've got to do something.
At his wedding.
Yeah, well, it's done.
He's already married.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Oh, the birth of his child.
Yeah, good for him.
In the hospital.
Anyway, sorry, what do you got?
This is from Joseph Vizar.
Yes.
It says, would you rather?
Hope you guys are doing well.
Yes, thank you, Joseph.
We are.
Nah, not really.
Oh, no.
Well, I'm doing fine.
Yeah, but it's not great, is it?
The world over.
I'm like, if you compare this time to last year, it's much worse in the world.
Oh, when's 2020 going to be over?
You dropped your phone, Mason.
That's unprofessional.
Sorry.
Collings, edit that to make it louder.
Yeah, louder and more aggressive.
And it plays the Defenders of the Earth theme.
Defenders of the Earth.. Defenders of the Earth.
Defenders.
Out of the sky, his rockets ignite.
Jets into battle, flying faster than light.
Flash Gordon.
Lord of the jungle, the hero who stops.
The beasts call him brother, the ghost war.
Defenders of the Earth.
Anyway, Joseph says, in a fight, would you rather have the Arkham combat?
So this is presumably a real fight.
Yeah, cool.
Would you rather have the Arkham combat?
He says James could take on at least eight boomers at once.
Easy. Or the hyper-realistic combat of the Scott Pilgrim movie,
where if you lose, you burst into coins.
But I kill people?
Yeah, see, that's the thing.
It's a bigger dilemma than you think.
But no consequences.
Oh, because they just sort of disappear, don't they?
Yeah, but if I had that in the real world and I make someone explode
into coin, I'm going to jail.
But if I beat up eight people.
Yeah, you're still going to jail.
Yeah, but I didn't kill anyone.
And presumably they're coming at me with baseball bats and going, what are you doing here, Batman? I'm Batman in this scenario, obviously. You're not. You're just to jail. Yeah, but I didn't kill anyone. And presumably they're coming at me with baseball bats and going,
what are you doing here, Batman?
I'm Batman in this scenario, obviously.
You're not.
You're just regular James.
What are you doing here, regular James?
Yeah, exactly.
I'm just up the street.
I've bought my reusable bags.
I'm just doing some shopping in my mask.
I'm trying to keep social distance.
He's a reusable boy over here.
We're going to reuse your face as a person bag.
And then they come at you.
I don't want this.
What are they going to get you?
I'm going to go to jail for hurting people.
Wow.
And they're reaching for the gun locker and you're like, no!
Who put that gun locker on that telephone pole?
Why is it there?
You're going to get them first.
But you see, that's the thing.
Like, I think if you beat people up Scott Pilgrim style,
they'd just be gone.
Like, it'd be inexplicable.
People would be like, I don't think he did anything. If you beat people up Scott Pilgrim style, they'd just be gone. It'd be inexplicable.
People would be like, I don't think he did anything.
I mean, he struck him with a sword and he exploded. But I mean, that's not murder.
But I think if you were seen in public brutally beating up eight people.
No, but if they were beating me up,
it's not like they're standing around and I'm hitting them.
Like they're actively attacking me.
Well, if you're any good, then they're basically just standing around.
But if they're actively attacking me.
You're whipping about back and forth.
They're actively attacking me one by one also.
Yeah, right.
Like those games.
But yeah, no, Arkham's would look, I think that'd be cool to do.
Yeah.
It's got a real, you know?
Yeah, yeah.
You have a fire sword.
So just to clarify, I'm not in the world of Scott Pilgrim.
I don't think so, no.
I think we're in the regular world, yeah.
Okay, cool.
Yeah, let's take it.
Let's have a bit of pizzazz.
Yeah, a bit of pizzazz.
Let's liven things up a little bit.
I think I would take the Batman 66 fighting.
Yeah.
Again, it's everybody lines up one at a time.
Yeah, but that's also every second fight that you're in,
you're dangled over a vat of caviar or whatever.
You know what I mean?
You lose every second fight.
What a way to go, huh?
Yum, yum, yum.
No, you're right. It's got Pilgrim.
Okay, fair enough. Great question, though.
Who was that from? That was from Joseph Vizzer.
Terrific. I've got a tweet here, Mason.
Okay, go ahead. It's from JustJonathan.
Hashtag Weekly Planet Pod.
You've emailed him before, JustJonathan. I don't believe you.
Okay, right. Would you like to see a sequel to the
social network, perhaps largely focused on Zuck's court hearings regarding facebook of the three
who was the most important to return to work on the sequel eisenberg sorkin fincher oh i think
it's fincher for me yeah but i think there's no reason why you shouldn't get all those guys back
yeah no that's true yeah i mean there's no rule that says they can't none of them have been
legally prohibited from being in a movie.
Did you see the Zuckerberg?
Saw the surfing photo?
Yeah, of course I did.
Yeah.
What's he doing?
That's fascinating.
Anyway, Facebook.
Yeah.
What were we talking about?
Oh, yeah.
I'm in a local group as well, like a local community group.
I like where you live, right, yeah.
Which is mostly people like, whose cat is this?
Oh, wait, it's my cat.
Yeah. Yeah. So, you wait, it's my cat. Yeah.
Yeah.
So, you know, that's really good.
Who took my newspaper off my front lawn?
It was me.
It was my wife later.
I figured it out.
Sorry, everyone.
Part of me wants to make a local ruckus and then just sit back
and watch it unfold.
Nothing like dangerous, but just do something truly bizarre.
Yeah.
I thought what you were going to say.
Younger me was all about that. You know I was about that. I thought you were going to say like a, yeah just do something truly bizarre. Yeah. I thought what you were going to say there was – Younger me was all about that.
You know I was about that.
I thought you were going to say like a – yeah, it's true.
You were a real firebrand.
I thought you were going to say you were going to make
like a rival local group.
I think there is one already.
But just make it weirder.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
Just make it like Welcome to Night Vale style
where it starts out normal.
It's like, hey, everybody, just, you know,
some regular goings on in town.
Just post up anything and then it's like,
did anybody notice the moon looked weird last night? It looked like it had, everybody, just, you know, some regular goings on in town. Just post up anything. And then it's like, did anybody notice the moon looked weird last night?
It looked like it had a hole in it.
Stan, did anyone hear that noise?
Did anyone hear that buzzing noise, those weird lights?
What could I do to my local community?
I have to think about it.
Yeah.
Support it.
Support it, James.
Yeah, support it, obviously.
But younger me, I would have had a great idea immediately.
I don't have that anymore. But my idea is going to this. That's true, James. Yeah, support it, obviously. But younger me, I would have had a great idea immediately. I don't have that anymore.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. All my ideas go into this.
That's true, yeah.
Should I do a pleasant surprise local prank?
What should I do?
Oh.
Should I just, like, make a big dog turd and put it in the centre of town?
What do I do?
How big are we talking?
As big as a car.
How are you making it?
Out of other dog turds?
Are you gathering up all the dog turds?
No, no, it would have to be fake.
I can't be real dog turds because then somebody has to come and deal with that.
I don't want anything destructive. If anyone's got any ideas, I'd love to hear fake. It can't be real dog turds because then somebody has to come and deal with that. I don't want anything destructive.
If anyone's got any ideas, I'd love to hear it.
Yeah.
Yeah, genuinely.
Okay.
Yeah, but no snitches, obviously.
Yeah, that's true.
Is that it?
Look, I don't know how you're going to pull this off, but I'm.
No big dog turd idea.
Yeah, but if you do, we go viral, so.
Yeah.
Or get cancelled, one of the two.
Whatever.
Yeah.
Just anything at this point.
Good stuff. It is good stuff. Whatever. Just anything at this point. Good stuff.
It is good stuff.
What else you got, Mason?
Look, here's something from Admiral Hackbar.
He says, hey there, James and Mason from the Weekly Planet.
We talk movies and comics and books and TV shows.
I was watching an old episode of the podcast, perhaps on YouTube,
episode 66 maybe, where every time Mason said one of his classic zingers,
a recording of a trumpet would be played entitled Mason's Theme. I demand to see a return of this theme in your next episode. I have no memory that is at all.
I don't know what this is.
You've never heard of that.
That's when you were editing the episode.
Which means I would have had to have spliced it in.
We don't know what this is.
Unless Collings went back and put it in.
Maybe he's doing it.
He's the kind of guy that would do that.
Maybe he's hacked into your YouTube.
Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of the Weekly Planet,
official podcast of ComicBookMovie.com.
My name is James, editor at that website.
With me is always my co-host, Nick Mason.
Oh, that's good.
That's you doing that.
That was Joseph Lisk, who does the What We Read and What We Gonna Read theme.
Oh, sure.
But isn't that cool?
Yes.
Do you want to hear it again?
I guess so.
I don't remember what it's from.
No, neither do I.
But I love it.
But I assume at some point I pretended to be a trumpet player.
A little bit of fanfare.
Wonder Woman is getting a writer.
That's a relief.
Yes, it is.
He actually, he's writing, oh, he wrote Pan,
the upcoming Peter Pan gritty reboot.
Oh, sure.
Great.
I mean, I haven't seen Pan, so we'll see how that plays out.
See how it pans out.
Well done.
Play the theme.
Play my theme.
Play it.
I'll do it again.
Say the thing you said.
I'll say the thing I said.
And then we do this.
I have to find it.
Oh, jeez.
Just email it to me
And I'll do it
Alright here we go
Okay say the thing
Um
We'll see how that goes
I guess
See how it pans out
I'll have this ready now
I can't though
Because I've got to
You can't exactly
Yeah
Man
And you can't leave me
In control of that
Because I'll just do it
Every time
I'll do it literally
Every time I say anything
So there you go Yeah That's wild me in control of that because I'll just do it every time. I'll do it literally every time I say anything.
So there you go. Yeah, that's wild.
That must have been early. Or it was last year.
I have no idea. We don't know. We just don't know.
Oh yeah.
One last email. Yeah. This is from Owen Brady. Hello, Owen Brady. James is
in Business Insider and I'm studying marketing
and it is a lot. What?
Hey, James and Macy. I'm doing a Masters in Digital
Marketing at the moment.
I have an undergrad in English so I'm completely out of my
depth. And for one of my modules we had to look at
a case study for Planters Peanuts.
Little did my professor know that I was already
familiar with the monster that is Peanut Junior.
Anyway, I was doing some research into Planters
and found an article from Business Insider
where they cover the hashtag block Mr. Peanut
campaign James started during one of his episodes,
mental episodes, it says here.
This also happened while James was going through
his Mr. Pumpkin movies phase,
so the article refers to him as Mr. Pumpkin movies.
I thought this was pretty funny
and just thought I'd let you guys know if you didn't already.
All the best from Ireland.
Can I be the official digital marketing master student
of the podcast?
Yes, you can.
I did.
I forgot about that.
Mr. Pumpkin Movies.
Yeah, you just did one.
It wasn't even Halloween.
You were just like, Mr. Pumpkin Movies.
I thought it was funny.
I changed it back just before October.
Very funny.
Good stuff.
I'm glad.
I hope there's a print edition of that out there somewhere being pulped as we speak.
But if there is, let us know.
If you've got it, take a photo.
I would love to see it.
I would absolutely love to see it.
Yeah, I'm proud of that.
Any flack have you received?
Did planters reach out to you?
Nobody reached out.
They didn't offer you free planters peanuts for life?
I could just get peanuts anywhere.
Yes, but I mean free peanuts.
I don't even eat that many.
They're not that good.
No, I don't either.
Yeah.
Again, cashews are better, I think.
Cashews are better.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's great.
And thank you for the support. And I know every now and then people shoot me through that theyhews are better. That's great.
And thank you for the support.
And I know every now and then people shoot me through that they've blocked Mr. Peanut.
Yeah.
Appreciate it.
Keep it up.
Yeah, that's right.
Someone should pay for what they're doing.
You know it's 2020 and they're like, Mr. Peanut's dabbing.
And it's like, fuck off with this.
Like, no.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
He should be flossing.
I know, right?
He should be doing the Carlton dance.
The Fresh Prince dance.
Exactly, yeah.
I'm not interested.
Unrelated, if you go to the Planet Broadcasting Great Mates Facebook group,
Joe Covis, who's done some fan art for the podcast,
has just released a Mad Ghost T-shirt.
Mad Ghost!
You want to grab the Mad Ghost T-shirt?
I do.
I haven't seen that.
I'm going to check that out.
It's pretty good.
Terrific.
Guess which one of us is the ghost?
Me.
What am I then?
You know.
This is bullshit.
I'm pretty sure I helped invent Mad Ghost.
I'm not even on the T-shirt.
Maybe you're on the back.
Maybe you're on the butt area.
I'll take it.
I'll take anything.
Ridiculous.
I was instrumental in inventing Mad Ghost.
Yeah, you were the bagpipes.
You can't even put two ghosts there
I mean it's not Mad Ghosts is it
I just think come on
Maybe I could be yelling Mad Ghost
Perfect
It's too late
Yeah well you know
Anyway
Not a good start to the year Mason
One of the best starts to the year I feel I feel it's a great you to the Bruton Labaskalisken Rack. Not a good start to the year, Mason. One of the best starts to the year, I feel.
I feel it's a great start to the year.
You've got your own T-shirt.
Oh, get out of here, Mason.
You've got one where it says, I'm fine.
Yeah, that's different.
That was.
I got a message from, speaking of illustrators to the podcast,
we got one from Fergal Quigley.
It says, are you recording?
I want to rudely butt in and put James off.
Too late.
He's already been put off.
That's right, Quigley.
You're too late.
I'm already in a real strop.
Yep.
He's having a real sook.
You're having a real tantee over there.
Okay, next week we go to the Weekly Planet.
Yeah.
Ginger and pomegranate.
It didn't get funnier.
Sometimes these things come around.
It does for me.
It does for me. James, it does for me. It does for me.
James, it does for me.
Weekly Planet Cool Ranch.
I'm doing all of them.
I'm doing everyone.
Oh, gosh.
I have a great time.
Everybody else's enjoyment's irrelevant, including yours.
I just enjoy it when I do it.
Fun episode, James.
What do you reckon about that?
That was our best episode.
I think so, too.
Yeah.
And the best thing is we tricked our stupid listeners.
Oh, no, it's still recording.
Seriously, they are.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, no.
You haven't pushed stop yet.
Oh, no, James.
We've both revealed our genuine inner thoughts.
No, just kidding.
They're all right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're all right.
They're cool.
Whoa!
Is that us coming?
It doesn't matter.
Are we out?
Are we back in?
No, we're back in.
Oh, okay. We're out again.
Okay, because we didn't record a thing where we came out.
We'll come out now.
We'll do that.
Okay.
You ready?
Whoa!
Whoa, James.
We're back in 2020 and...
21?
21, yep.
Yep. Just clocked over at time of recording.
Crazy.
And look, our dollar sign ties have disappeared,
so I think it might be working.
James, I'll just check the stats on the podcast.
Oh, it's gone from zero downloads in 2020 to 100 downloads in 2020.
It's our best year ever, James.
We've done it.
We did it. Yes. We've done it. We did it.
Yes.
We've done it.
We saved podcasting.
This podcast.
I mean, just this.
I don't know what's happening outside, probably.
It's not about us.
No.
Irrelevant.
That I mean, I don't care.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, yeah.
So what's on for the rest of the year?
Probably put this podcasting snow globe.
Put it back on the shelf.
Put it back on the shelf.
That's right.
On this wonky shelf that we put up ourselves.
Exactly.
It'll be fine.
And look, who knows?
Maybe it'll bring us other further adventures next year
or we'll forget about it.
It's probably almost certainly the second one, yeah.
Anyways, we hope that everybody listening to this had a safe break.
If you had a break or if you didn't have a break,
I hope you had a safe not having a break.
Yeah, absolutely.
We hope whatever you're doing was safe.
That's right.
We'll be back the week of the 25th, though, maybe on the 26th.
Oh, my God.
But that week.
We'll see what's happening.
Week of.
Week of.
January.
January.
Late January.
And then just we're excited.
Probably keep doing the podcast.
Probably just keep doing it. I mean, honestly, 2021. And then just, we're excited. Probably keep doing the podcast.
Probably just keep doing it.
I mean, honestly, 2021's been a very exciting year so far.
As of so far, there's been time travel.
What else is in store?
No, probably just that.
It's probably the wildest thing that's happened so far.
Yeah, you're probably right.
All right, goodbye, everybody.
Bean dad.
Bean dad.
That happened.
Yeah.
What a dickhead.
If it's real.
We talked about it off air. Grab that, Jeremy, guys we'll see you uh later in the year goodbye this podcast is part of the planet broadcasting network
visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates i mean if you want it's up to you
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FX's The Veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship
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thousands of lives are lost. FX's The Veil, starring Elizabeth Moss, is now streaming on Disney+.