The Weekly Planet - Best of The Weekly Planet 2022
Episode Date: January 1, 2023Happy New Years everybody and welcome to 2023! Lets celebrate this by immediately looking back at 2022, specifically the best moments from The Weekly Planet podcast. All your favourites are here! Li...ttle James! El Muerto! Sad Mario and more! Of course if you've never listened to the show before this is going to be absolutely inpenetrable. But regardless, huge thanks to Raw Collings for putting together this over three hour edit, the amount of effort he puts into this is astounding. Thanks you everyone for the support and we'll see you on January 23 with new episodes.Visit bigsandwich.co for a bonus weekly show, exclusive movie commentaries, early stuff and ad-free podcast feeds for $9 per month.Full episode guide available here: https://bit.ly/3GbYTaN00:00 The Start03:26 Goated with the Sauce07:29 The El Muerto Script13:41 Blade Runner Babies17:30 Sad Mario & Echidna Sandwich21:00 Tom Holland's James Bond Pitch27:05 Star Wars News (Rude Obi-Wan)44:24 Some Hot Quick News1:02:16 Marvel News & Reviews1:41:40 DC News & Reviews1:59:10 More Reviews & Topics2:26:52 What We Reading, What We Gonna Read2:39:40 Letters, It's Time For Letters3:12:40 Little James3:15:51 The EndJames' Twitter ► http://twitter.com/mrsundaymoviesMaso's Twitter ► http://twitter.com/wikipediabrownMaso's Instagram ► https://www.instagram.com/nickmaseauThe Weekly Planet Twitter ► https://twitter.com/theweeklyplanetPatreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesTWP iTunes ► https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-weekly-planet/id718158767TWP Direct Download ► https://play.acast.com/s/theweeklyplanetTWP YouTube Channel ► https://goo.gl/1ZQFGHAmazon Affiliate Link ► https://amzn.to/2QbmwGjT-Shirts/Merch ► https://www.teepublic.com/stores/mr-sunday-movies Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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James, I'm sure you're wondering
why I've gathered you all here today.
All of us, as in me.
Wonder no longer, James,
because I regret to inform you,
there's been a murder.
Most foul.
But it's just me and you here, though.
The victim, of course, is that horrible little homunculus, little James.
Oh!
This is canon.
This is canon.
He's dead.
This is good, because then I don't have to worry about that coming back at some point.
Precisely.
James, the killer, they think they've gotten away with it, but they didn't reckon on me,
Nick Mason, the world's latest detective.
Sorry I'm late, by the way.
Oh, so not as in like the most recent?
No.
Because when you said latest, I'm like, the latest detective is here.
See, what happened is I was going to take the freeway,
but then I'm like, the freeway is probably packed,
so I'll take the long way.
Yeah.
And then I'm like, man, this is long.
And then I thought, it's probably why they built the freeway.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But anyway, James, there's a long list of suspects, as you might imagine. Sure, yeah. wrong and then i thought it's probably why they built the freeway yeah yeah but anyway james
there's a long list of suspects as you might imagine sure yeah you know many people would
want to do away with little james on account of he was mean and he sucked we didn't like him
absolutely not perhaps the killer was the youtuber regular sized james what no once the toast of the
town with his trailer breakdowns and his 10 things you missed. I don't really do that anymore. Perhaps he saw the vibrant young energy of little James
and regular-sized James there and he was all like,
oh, my career is fading fast.
I've got a divorce on the horizon.
What?
He's like, I'm going to get this guy out of the way, you know what I mean?
Yeah, sure.
And also other suspects.
But I was thinking what we could do is we could get in my silly little car
and we could drive around to various locations looking for clues.
Are we going to take the freeway or the long way?
You know, whichever I think is.
I've got a pretty good judgment on this.
Okay.
So we'll just wing it.
Okay, right.
But we can also, while we're doing that,
we can listen for clues on the best of the weekly planet 2022
because the clues will be in there.
That's a great idea.
And we can find out who the killer is.
Should we get Collings to maybe edit a bunch of relevant clues or just sections together? Yeah, I think so, yeah. To get a sense of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, that's a great idea. And we can find out who the killer is. Should we get Collings to maybe edit a bunch of relevant clues
or just sections together?
Yeah, I think so, yeah.
To get a sense of.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, that's a great idea.
I'll get up on the blowout now.
Yeah, please do.
All right, now let's get in my car.
I'll put my detective sirens on.
Wee-wah, wee-wah, wee-wah.
I think that's illegal.
You can't do that.
No, no, that's fine, I think.
Okay.
If it was illegal, why would they let me do it, you know?
That's true.
That would have stopped me. Yeah, why would they let you do it for you know? That's true. That would have stopped me.
Yeah, why would they let you do it for now?
Yeah, you're right.
Anyway, it's just a recording of me going,
wee-wah, wee-wah.
I'll put it on.
Wee-wah, wee-wah, wee-wah.
Red hot comic book movie news.
Shooting up your butt hole.
The Weekly Planet.
The Weekly Planet.
Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of The Weekly Planet, where we talk Welcome back everybody to another episode of The Weekly Planet
where we talk movies and comics and TV shows.
My name is James, also known as Mr. Sundabe.
With me as always is my co-host Nick Mason.
Mr. Sundabe.
Did you misspeak?
Did you misspeak is the question.
Did you misspeak?
I did not misspeak.
But you sound like you misspoke.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, my friend.
So you're saying that I misspoke, but you didn't misspoke?
There's no comedy or really anything to be had from this, I don't think.
You're shutting it down, eh?
I'm not shutting it down.
Let's see where this goes.
No, let's see where you go with it.
Since you were the one quick to jump in and correct my obvious non-error.
No, I did say it.
This is nothing, though.
You're right.
Absolutely, absolutely nothing.
But this is the Weekly Planet where obviously we talk about.
Oh, that's our slogan, actually.
This is nothing.
Just go with it.
It's fine.
That's true.
That's right.
All right.
Do you want something that might shock you, Mason, in terms of news?
Go on.
This is by The Wrap.
So The Wrap has learned.
Do it in the form of a rap.
I will not.
The Wrap has learned.
Let's not do it.
Let's never do it.
We cannot subject the world to that.
The Wrap has learned.
Because what had happened is we'd have to stop doing this and just take on...
Be professional.
Be professional rappers.
We'd be in the rap game.
Yeah.
It would be just like the show Atlanta.
We'd be like Gnarls Barkley.
We would.
Except the Australian version of Gnarls Barkley,
Gnathan Buckley.
That's too local.
Yeah, no, it really is.
People will have to Google Gnathan Buckley.
They'll be like, did you mean Nathan Buckley?
Kind of.
The rapper, I thought you were going to say like Joel Creasy or something.
Who's that beatbox guy?
Joel Creasy's a comedian.
Oh, yeah.
You think of Joel Turner.
I think of Joel Turner, yeah.
Nathan Buckley's a football player.
It's not important.
Anyways, the rappers learned that the Academy's fan favourite
and cheer moment awards.
Do you remember these?
The ones that, the Flash entering the Speed Force.
It was Flash entering the Speed Force one fan favorite moment of all time?
Fan cheer moment.
Okay, of all time.
Of all time.
Movie of the year, I think.
And Army of the Dead won the other one.
Is that right?
Yeah, that's the one.
Something like that.
Anyway, so basically what it was, and we said this when it was announced
because it was going to be a Twitter poll that this is not going to.
We said that this is ripe for abuse.
And then when they were announced, we were like, well, I guess the fans.
They got what they want.
They did it.
They're a fan base.
You've got to respect their hustle.
But you're saying it's not on the up and up, James.
No, so it allowed regular folks to vote online in the weeks ahead
of the March 27th ceremony for their own best picture choice
as well as a fan favourite moment.
But anyway, that appears to have been rigged by automated
online bot accounts backing the work of Justice League filmmaker.
It says Justice League like this.
Oh, yeah.
But he did do it.
Zack Snyder. Data
from a hashtag analytics tracking
thing found the most
active... We're going to use the tracking thing.
Found the most
active contributors to both...
See you in court. We got all the information from the tracking
thing. Found that the most active
contributors to both polls were
autonomous web programs that cast
thousands of fake votes. Fake votes. Is there no integrity left, Mason, anywhere in any corner of
the globe? Only on the Weekly Planet podcast. It's true. Until we get that lucrative rap contract
and then there'll be no integrity. We're in the rap game. We're in the rap game. That's right, yeah.
So, yeah, I mean, that's not surprising.
But also I would be equally not surprised if just it also just won.
Also, cheer moment?
Yes.
Really?
They called it that?
They could have called it like the most iconic moment in cinema history.
But it feels like very MTV Teen Choice Awards.
Big cheer moment. Yeah. Iconic moment in film history. You it feels like very MTV Teen Choice Awards. Yeah. Big cheer moment.
Yeah.
Iconic moment in film history.
What made you stand up and go, yeah?
What are we doing?
What?
Where's the integrity, Mason?
Yeah.
It's all a joke, anyway.
What made you stand up and say and point at the screen and go,
this scene is goated with the sauce?
This is, what's another thing?
This is another teen reference. thing? This is another teen reference.
Right?
This is, it's very.
I'm, I'm.
James is head in hands.
He tried to relate to, he tried to relate to teens so hard that your brain broke.
That's incredible.
My brain pinched.
Like me standing up in big baggy clothes.
Oh, like what was cool when we were teenagers.
And wearing a big lock for some reason.
I'm so tired.
All right, here we go.
All right.
That is goated with the sauce, James.
Morbius News.
Sony Pictures also, they said, woo, Morbius is out, woo, up top. They didn't mention, James. Morbius News. Sony Pictures also, they said,
woo, Morbius is out, woo, up top.
They didn't mention any kind of Morbius sequel.
Also, Grammy-winning Puerto Rican rapper Bad Bunny
has signed on to the live-action, how is this pronounced?
El Muerto.
Yeah, so this is a...
The Dead.
So it's Juan Carlos Estrada Sanchez.
Is that how you pronounce it?
Yeah, you do it exactly like that, yes.
You do it panicked towards the end.
Yeah, good.
He's a super-powered wrestler and he inherits powers from his father
and he sacrificed his life in order to save Juan Carlos
and their family from the long-time nemesis El Dorado.
Okay.
Now, look, as we've said here.
They have a million Spider-Men and women they could do.
What's fascinating.
What are they doing this?
I'm not saying this can't be good, but why?
I think Bad Bunny had a meeting with Sony and they went through the archives.
I want a meeting.
But what's interesting about this is.
Give me a minor flag.
Is that El Muerto was created after the,
like significantly after the Sony Spider-Man deal.
So I guess they get first dibs on everything.
Oh, with Marvel, like, yeah, you can have that one.
So for people who don't know, El Muerto got,
he's appeared on I think two issues of a Spider-Man comic.
That's it?
Yeah, in like 2006.
Okay.
I didn't know that.
And we've said this before, there are no bad characters.
Yes, there are.
Anybody can make a good movie with a character, but Sony can't.
That's a good rule of thumb.
You know, they are about 50-50 on the most well-known
and beloved superhero of all time.
Yep.
This won't be good.
But I have a bit of breaking news for you, James.
This is great.
Nobody else has this, James.
I have a complete plot synopsis for El Muerto.
No, really?
As written by Sony. This is fascinating. It's fascinating. Okay, are we ready has this, James. I have a complete plot synopsis for El Muerto. No, really? As written by Sony.
This is fascinating.
It's fascinating.
Okay, are we ready for this, James?
Yeah.
Okay, so we open in the past, but not so far in the past
that we can't just use like modern day sets and clothing.
Just like cars that you might have.
Yeah, like a regular car, whatever they have in the lot.
Yeah.
So a boy's in a community center.
He's watching his father do a wrestle.
Okay.
His father's a Mexican wrestler. He's the best father do a wrestle. His father's a Mexican wrestler.
He's the best wrestler.
The boy asks his father, he says, Papa, do you think one day I could be the best wrestler?
The best Mexican wrestler?
The best Mexican wrestler.
And his father says, son, perhaps if you work hard and you believe in yourself,
one day you could inherit my special magical wrestling mask and become the best wrestler.
What's a magic mask?
Also, the most important part about becoming the best wrestler is respecting your family.
And the boy's like, that makes sense, I guess.
Yeah.
Cool.
And we flash forward to present day, and the boy has grown up
to be El Muerto, who's a famous wrestler, but he's not
the best wrestler, James.
But he's got the mask.
No, no, no.
No, he doesn't have the mask.
He doesn't have the mask.
Where's the mask?
His father's got the mask.
Oh, his father's still alive.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And his father comes to visit, and he says,
son, you never come visit your family anymore.
All you care about is being in montages where you get flown around in private planes
and you post photos as an app that's legally distinct from Instagram.
And now Murto says, father, I like private planes and I like posting on Wow Photo,
the app where instead of heart emojis you get wow emojis so it's different.
I get one million wow emojis on every photo.
And also I don't respect my family currently.
No!
Yeah, and his father says, I take it back.
I don't think you'll ever become the best wrestler
and also we are estranged now.
Sony's loving this, by the way.
There's just big, like, just there's no notes after all this.
Just big tics.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But then his father is killed by a gang of crime criminals
and El Muerto has to put on the mask to get away, right?
Yeah.
And somehow that makes him a better wrestler.
But it doesn't make him the best wrestler, James.
I was going to say because his dad said he would never be the best wrestler.
He's not the best wrestler yet, right?
Yeah.
But then there's just a note and it says a series of underwhelming action sequences
and a Sony executive just put a bunch of big tics next to it.
Okay.
And he's written, yeah, that's what we're all about.
That's what we like.
Anyway, eventually El Muerto realises the importance of family
and he reconciles with his father whose spirit is in the mask
or the community centre or somewhere.
It doesn't matter.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And not only does he become the best wrestler
and defeat the crime criminals, he gets super wrestler powers
and there's a note that says,
call the Morbius smoke effect guys and see if they know
any other shapes or colours.
Then there's a note tacked on at the end.
It says, yeah, there can be another mask in a different color,
but it makes you evil, and maybe his uncle or brother or cousin puts it on.
Who cares?
And becomes the leader of the crime criminals.
And initially it seems like he's become the best wrestler,
but actually because he doesn't respect family as much.
At the end, El Muerto suplexes him into a river.
Now a little bit behind the scenes, James.
I've just made this up.
What?
But if it doesn't, if the plot isn't exactly this,
I'll shoot myself on the podcast.
Okay.
Yeah.
That's great.
Right?
That's win-win.
Oh, that's incredible.
That was great work.
There's no way it's not that, though, right?
No, it's that.
You're absolutely right.
And the idea, like all of it, down to like the bad guy,
somebody he knows who has a similar mask or set of powers,
suplexing someone into a river or whatever.
Yeah.
It's all good stuff.
There might even be like a scene where the two guys,
they've got different color masks and they smash their heads together
and a big beam comes out.
Just up the middle, yeah.
Right into the sky.
Wow.
And it makes sense that the bad guy, like because they both be matched
evenly initially because both of them don't respect family.
That's right, but then one does.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But has he got any family left?
I guess he does.
I guess he's got siblings or whatever.
He's got a little nephew that we see at the start.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I reckon his father would be like, you don't come around.
We always have a big scene.
We're all sitting around the table and we're all sharing bowls of stuff
and the kids are running around the table.
Yeah.
He's like, I don't like that actually.
I don't like any of this.
I don't like any of those things.
I don't respect my family's culture.
Of wrestling.
Yeah.
We're all wrestlers.
They're all wrestlers.
We're all wrestlers, yes.
I don't respect that even though I myself am also a wrestler.
Anyway, this Bad Bunny guy, apparently he likes wrestling.
Like he appears in the WWE sometimes.
Good luck to him, man, honestly.
Good luck to him.
But no, that's fucked.
Anyways.
It depends.
Like we'll see who the director is, you know?
Yeah.
You don't know.
We don't know.
We don't know.
Maybe the director of Morbius. Or they cancel it't know. We don't know. We don't know. We don't know.
Maybe the director of Morbius.
Or they cancel it.
I mean, it's not coming out.
Yeah, exactly.
Anyway, speaking of.
Also, I'm shooting myself with a Nerf gun.
I'm not shooting myself with a regular.
Okay, cool.
In Minecraft.
I swear.
Great.
Anyway, next up we have.
You're not going to believe this, Mason.
Take a look.
We'll see.
I'm very gullible.
I'll believe most things.
Take a good look.
At what?
You haven't shown me the thing yet. Oh, yeah. Var most things. Take a good look. At what? You haven't shown me the thing yet.
Oh, yeah.
Variety reporting.
Take a good look at this, Mason.
Okay.
That Blade Runner.
Drink this in.
Bloody rub this on your gums, eh?
Blade Runner 2049 is getting a sequel series at Amazon.
No, it's not.
Live action.
Whoa.
And it's called Blade Runner 2099.
Blade Runner 2099.
Another 50 years in the future.
So 50 years after Ridley Scott will produce.
Wow.
There is a live action, I want to say Netflix,
it's a cartoon Netflix show maybe.
Oh, a cartoon network show.
Yeah, sure.
That's fine.
Blade Runner babies.
Yeah.
This is a couple of things I think are going on here, I think.
Retiring?
I don't want to retire any bloody replicants.
I've only just been bloody born.
That's one of the.
Who's that?
I don't know.
I don't know.
We're workshopping Blade Runner babies, okay?
Wait, okay.
So the, okay, yeah.
He's a Blade Runner baby.
But he doesn't want to. He doesn't want to retire any replicants. Because he wants to have a nap. Yes. Yeah, okay. So the, okay, yeah. He's a Blade Runner baby. But he doesn't want to.
He doesn't want to retire any replicants.
Because he wants to have a nap.
Yes.
Yeah, I guess so, yeah.
Okay, great.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Great.
Really good.
Yeah.
He's just too busy playing with the bloody little paper unicorn.
I'm going to stop you right there.
That's as far as this riff goes.
Okay.
You're putting your foot down?
I am.
You're vetoing it.
I'm not putting a pin in it.
It's finished. You get, okay, you I'm not putting a pin in it. It's finished.
You get three vetoes a year, I've decided.
Okay, good.
Okay, that's one.
You've got two left.
And the other ones I have to roll with, do I?
Like I do a bit and then you do a bit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The bits continue.
And it culminates in something and whatever.
Yeah, yeah.
And then we draw it out for weeks.
Exactly.
Oh, my God.
Yes, please.
This is going to be great.
Okay, I can't do Blade Runner Babies anymore.
Unless the fans demand it. Unless the listeners are, I can't do Blade Runner Babies anymore. Unless the fans demand it.
Unless the listeners are like, we want more
Blade Runner Babies. We want you to bring back
that character.
It didn't even sound like a baby. That's why I was
confused. Yeah, I didn't know either.
I was initially like, maybe he'd be a replicant.
Don't retire me.
Wait, no. We're not doing it.
This is hypothetical. It's all hypothetical.
Yeah, I know. This doesn't count.
I know.
No, it counts, sorry.
This is ridiculous.
All right, folks.
Can't sidestep this.
Tweet in if you knew what I was talking about.
I mean, I know now.
Okay, right.
So, yeah, what I think this is, it must track super well on streaming, right?
It's also an IP that people know.
Also, Amazon have infinite money.
Yeah, that's true.
Also, I think there's somebody at Amazon high up
who just wants to see more.
Oh, absolutely, yeah.
So any number of those things are going on here.
Ultimately, yeah.
I mean, when you look at the history of entertainment,
that's a lot of, like, the reason Aquaman still exists
is because, like, a lot of DC editors over the years
just loved Aquaman for whatever reason.
So they're like, put this character in the bin?
No.
Give him another series that nobody's going to read.
How about this?
Aquaman, but he's a baby.
I can't lift this trident.
I'm a baby.
Nice.
That's good.
See, that's how this is.
I'm drowning.
I'm a baby.
Oh, because he can't swim yet because he's just a baby.
Yeah.
Nice.
But he can breathe underwater?
He doesn't know that yet.
I'm V-tying his wrist.
He doesn't know yet.
That's two. Wait, my breathe underwater? He doesn't know that yet. I'm beat-tying this riff. He doesn't know yet. That's two.
Wait, my own count?
Yep.
Oh, man.
That's right.
You've got one left for the year.
I'm going to build such long, painful riffs through the remainder of this year.
You just wait for December.
Just the tortured stuff I'm going to get.
The tortured joke workshopping I'm going to do.
You're going to come up with like a big butcher's paper.
Oh, no, I'm not going to write anything down.
Nothing's going to be written down.
It's just going to be very confusing.
And I'll just, I'll contradict myself multiple times in it.
You're going to love it.
I'm looking forward to it.
Anyway, more Blade Runner.
Good.
Speaking of Mason. Go on. No, not really. Anyway, more Blade Runner. Good. Speaking of Mason.
Go on.
No, not really.
Listen, video games, anyone?
New segment.
Oh, all right.
And then you say bing.
Beep, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.
Perfect.
What game's that?
Mario.
Which one?
The one where he's sad.
Remember that one?
Sad Mario.
Is it paint?
Yeah, it's paint.
I'm not a painter.
I'm a plumber.
That's my Mario voice. I'm never a painter. I'm a plumber. That's my Mario voice.
I'm never as good.
Louie, is he better?
I stepped in this tray of paint.
Oh, no.
That's better.
I was going to do a thing about how he's like, oh, my God,
I got the imposter syndrome.
I don't know.
People say, Mario, you're saving the princess.
But I'm like, oh, yeah, but I can't draw a picture of the princess.
But you're just like, he stepped in a tray of paint,
which I think is funny.
You know, like could you pour the paint out into like a roll?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he steps in it because he couldn't get his foot in there.
Oh, is this Mario paint just Mario like paints the room?
Yeah.
He just paints the room.
He's doing reno's.
Okay, great.
What were we talking about? Oh, yeah, video games. Video game news. Okay, great. What were we talking about?
Oh, yeah, video games.
Video game news.
Okay, great.
A few things.
Sad Mario paints.
Sonic 3 is moving ahead.
The movie?
Yeah, I think it's going to be out next year even.
Okay.
Plus a Knuckles spin-off TV series on maybe Paramount+.
HBO Max.
Oh, sexy.
I think Idris Elba is back as well.
Great. Knuckles in the show. Okay. On top of that. Yeah, sexy. I think Idris Elba is back as well. Great.
Knuckles in the show.
Okay.
On top of that.
Yeah, because at the end of filming Sonic 2,
they would have just been like, here's some more lines.
Yeah, just say this.
Here's a series worth of lines.
You want to say those?
Say, get ready, it's a kid in a time.
Whatever Knuckles says.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Get ready, it's a kid in a time.
Also, there is a bio.
Having a kid in a sandwich, he would say.
Also, there is a bobsled. kidness sandwich, he would say. Also, there is a...
What does that mean?
Like as opposed to a knuckle sandwich.
As opposed to a knuckle sandwich.
Oh, that's good.
Right?
He could say knuckle sandwich.
That's what I'm saying, but he wouldn't.
Why doesn't he say that?
Because he's an echidna or something.
So he's like, get some of this.
I'm going to give you an echidna sandwich.
Yeah, but his name is knuckle sandwich.
History will prove me right, James.
No. This is a funnier bit sandwich. History will prove me right, James. No.
This is a funnier bit.
The listeners will, all right.
I mean, we'll see.
I just think, why would he change it?
Like, he wouldn't.
No, he would.
Because if your name was Knuckles, you wouldn't say he's a human sandwich.
No, no, but he wants a signature line.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right, fine.
And people are too afraid of him to correct him because he'd punch them
with his signature echidna sandwich.
Do you think he's going to do his climbing up walls thing that he can do
or whatever?
Yes.
Okay, cool.
Anyways, Bioshock movie is in the works in Netflix,
which I feel like went into development like 15 years ago when that game came out.
Yeah, in the 50s when it was said.
Who was the dude who was originally on it?
He did that.
He's a French guy maybe.
Gore Verbinski.
Gore Verbinski.
I'm pretty sure Gore Verbinski was going to do Bioshock at one point.
Did he do one or more Pirates of the Caribbean movies?
Yeah, probably.
Okay.
Which ones?
Who knows?
Some of them.
Who knows?
Yeah.
Let's ask him.
Do you have him on the line?
Yeah, I've got him on the line.
Let's ask him that and let's ask him like a really loaded question
about Marvel movies.
Let's get another guy offside.
Let's get him real good.
Really good stuff.
Anyways.
Should I hang up on Verbinski?
Oh, yeah, fuck him.
Thanks for holding the line, but we don't.
Hello.
Hello.
Look, I forgot.
Look, I'm not interested anymore. Sorry.
We don't have time.
This is my accent,
I assume.
Maybe I'm Belgian.
I don't know. Anyway, Tom Holland
opened up to Seth Meyers
about his pitch for Little James Bond Boy.
Oh. James Bond Jr.? Yeah.
So I pitched this idea for the movie.
I'm going to do the voice this week if you don't mind. Please do. So I pitched this idea for the movie. I'm going to do the voice this week if you don't mind. Yeah, please do.
So I pitched this idea for a movie.
I'll give you the vote quarter.
Here we go.
Which is kind of a stupid idea.
Or essentially, you wouldn't tell the audience that it was a James Bond movie until the end.
But from a marketing point of view, that's a nightmare.
Like they don't make any sense.
Did he become Italian for a second there?
Yeah, that's right.
Like that doesn't make any sense. Did he become Italian for a second there? Yeah, that's right. Like that doesn't make any sense.
I like the idea of doing a spy movie and then at the end
revealing it's a James Bond movie.
But yes, that is a mistake to market it that way.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, and I think if people were watching a Tom Holland spy thriller
and then at the end he went, I'm James Bond,
people would be very upset.
Sure, yeah.
But also I enjoy that.
I think that would be pretty.
What if at the end of Uncharted he just went,
I'm actually James Bond.
What we did is we purchased.
He's explaining this to the audience.
What we did is we purchased the rights to Uncharted.
You're the boss.
Okay.
What we did is we bought the rights to Uncharted
and then we just threw away everything and said,
I'll be James Bond in the end.
That would be funny.
Just completely burn one franchise for the sake of this stupid reveal.
And you might be thinking,
were there any hints along the way that I was James Bond?
No, there was none.
No, there was none.
There wasn't a single thing.
Anyway, that would be so funny.
Anyway.
James, if we had the keys to some movie studios,
we wouldn't have them for very long.
We would be fired.
We'd get one out, though.
We'd make something insane.
See, when you say, like you say it would be a mistake to reveal
it would be a James Bond at the end.
For money it would be. I think it would be for Tom to reveal it would be a James Bond at the end. For money it would be.
I think it would be for Tom, if it was Tom Holland.
Yeah.
But I don't know.
I wonder if word of mouth would spread.
Like I wonder if we live in, it's such a risk-averse industry
that maybe people will be like, oh, this is.
Might be right.
Excuse me, what happens at the end of it?
Especially if it's good.
Yeah, people are like, this movie's so good,
you never bloody believe what happens at the end of it.
The only example I can think of that
is that Split,
it might be Split, might be another one, is
an unbreakable sequel. Yeah. I'm trying to think
of a recent example because... The movie Psycho.
Yeah, the movie Psycho.
Well, you think it's about...
Oh, okay. No, I mean as in like it's
actually a part of a franchise. Oh, I see.
Like Split was... Oh, okay. Sure, sure, sure.
In the Night Shyamalan universe.
Well, Psycho is obviously part of the Psycho franchise.
That's true.
Original Psycho and then Vince Vaughn Psycho.
Yes.
And Hesh Psycho.
And Hesh Psycho.
So there you go.
Which is just they're not, it's not a remake.
It's two identical incidences with identically named people.
Really?
That happened in different decades, yeah.
That's very bizarre.
Yeah, yeah.
Anyway, good work, Tom Holland.
I like your thinkings.
Anyways, Barbara Broccoli said in regards to the new James Bond,
nobody is in the running.
We're working out where to go with him.
We're talking that through.
There isn't a script and we can't come up with one until we decide how we're
going to approach the next film because, really,
it's a reinvention of Bond.
We're reinventing who he is and that takes time.
I'd say that filming is at least two years away.
Now, obviously, if there's any point where the internet's going to melt down,
it's the point where she said this is a reinvention of Bond.
We're going to reinvent him.
It was like a GameSpot, like, Facebook post.
And it was just like, what, they're going to make him woke?
What, they're going to put him in a dress?
What, are they going to make him a giraffe or, you know, et cetera?
Maybe he'll be an attack helicopter.
Look at me.
I've thought of a thing, a new thing.
I mean, first of all, that would be freaking sick, obviously.
Just chopping around in his tuxedo, you know,
little bow tie on the front of the helicopter.
Going up to the bar and it's just like.
Sweeping all the glasses off the counter, yeah.
Just cutting through all the patrons.
About my titty sugar.
Sorry, what?
Sorry, what, sir?
What do you want?
Your rotas are spinning very fast, sir.
I don't. You know?
Pretty good.
But I think what they mean is we're just going to.
They always reinvent it.
Yeah.
And they also mean like reinventing MI6 headquarters.
Well, that's true.
They've got to have a new steel and glass.
It's just going to be a new look.
What they mean is a new look and more brand connections.
It's like what's his new watch going to be?
What's his new suit going to be?
That's probably true.
Because we've also seemingly reached the point of
nobody is going to release a thing
and just go, you, the audience, don't know
what you want. We have faith in this.
We'll tell you what you want, and it's this thing.
I think it could do well, but I think
they're too focused on saying, okay, well,
the market research says they only love Daniel Kroger's
James Bond, and they hate everything else, and they
are going to hate a new woke version.
They're going to hate the version where he's a helicopter,
even though it's freaking sick.
You're right.
The version they pick will have, like, even if it is a shot in the dark
at something, it will be a calculated risk.
Correct.
Yeah, and that's fun.
It is fun, I think.
We're all having fun.
What if he was too woke, though, Mason?
I saw things like, well, he's not even going to kiss a woman
because he has to ask permission.
Yeah, he should.
Like that's good.
You shouldn't just grab people and kiss them.
You shouldn't, yes.
Wait for a signal of some kind.
That's right.
Yeah.
Like, I don't know, like a big buzzing sign.
Yeah, like a big buzzing sign.
Yeah, great.
Excellent.
Oh, one vegan martini, please.
Oh, you would, wouldn't you? please oh you would wouldn't it yeah you
would you absolutely would yeah one macrobiotic vegan martini let's let's be real with yakult in
it it's filled with yakult do americans have yakult i don't know i don't know it's a bad
that'd be a brand deal yeah that'd be a brand deal yeah they got 200200 million from Yakult. So it has to be Yakult presents James Bond 007.
Imagine all the ads.
Oh, man.
I feel like I'm going to shit myself.
I'll have this to Yakult.
James Bond's got IBS now.
My gut flora in four days is all out of whack.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Then we've got the unbearable weight of massive talent.
Yes.
That's the Nicolas Cage movie where he plays himself
where he goes to a private island because a guy hires him
because he's bankrupt and the guy's a big Nicolas Cage fan
and he has to reenact all his movies or something.
Yes.
And what's his name in it?
I was going to say Oscar Isaac but not him.
Pedro Pascal.
I say that because they're brothers maybe.
I don't know.
They seem to get along.
They seem to get along.
In a way that brothers might.
Yeah, that's right, exactly. It's really nice. I like't know. They seem to get along. They seem to get along. In a way that brothers might. Yeah, that's right. Exactly.
It's really nice.
I like nice things.
They did a, Ethan Hawke and Oscar Isaac did a little video where they watched the Moonlight trailer.
I didn't watch that.
What was that like?
I mean, it was just them going, ooh.
We're in this.
Yeah.
That's me.
Hey, look, that's us.
Hey.
That's us.
That must be nice when you're like, you're acting after all these years and you see yourself in a thing.
You're like, that's us.
That's us.
Look at me.
Yeah. Look at me doing this. No, look at you. No, that's us. That's us. Look at me. Yeah.
Look at me doing this.
No, look at you.
No, look at you.
I'm like you next to me.
Mate.
You're here as well.
Are we in a movie now?
You're filming this.
Do we have to watch this later?
Who are these guys?
It's them.
Because they're being filmed.
This is us.
Anyways, Kenobi.
Before sunrise.
Maybe Kenobi in May.
They reckon maybe for Star Wars Day.
Is it?
Who's been cast in this recently?
Ewan McGregor's actual wife.
What's her name again?
Oh, Mary Elizabeth Winstead.
She's in something.
She's in a Star Wars thing coming out.
Ahsoka.
Right.
That's cool.
But is she going to be Obi-Wan Kenobi's real wife, secret wife?
Oh, my God. I would love to have a secret wife. Because in a way, she'soka. Right. That's cool. But is she going to be Obi-Wan Kenobi's real wife, secret wife? Oh, my God.
I would love to have a secret wife.
Because in a way she's his secret wife.
I mean, unless they age her up, she's too old.
She'd be too young.
But then again, he's an old dog, you know what I mean?
Yeah, I know.
You know, he gets a bit lonely out in the desert and et cetera.
Yeah, yeah.
You know what I'm really –
You know you're an old dog.
Well, of course I know.
That's me.
An old dog, a dirty dog.
I'm a dirty dog. I don't like it. Hello there. I don't like it. dog, a dirty dog. I'm a dirty dog.
Hello there.
I don't like this Kenobi.
I don't like it.
Do you think I could ruin your expectations for Obi-Wan Kenobi
by the time it comes out?
Being a creep.
By being dirty old Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Peeping Ben Kenobi.
Ah, yes, please.
I think that was a weekly amount of posters on it already.
Obi-Wan Kenobi, Mason.
You go on.
This series is not just called Kenobi.
Who knew?
Not me.
Anyways, what did you think of this trailer for Obi-Wan Kenobi?
He's back.
I didn't learn a lot about Obi-Wan Kenobi.
What do you want to know?
Oh.
But, of course, the big reveal of Kenobi and what he's up to
is peeping Ben Kenobi.
He's back.
He's giving Luke a look and he's like, what are you doing?
What are you doing?
Let me watch what you're doing.
I have to.
Legally, I have to do this.
Got to have a bit of a poke around, have a look around.
Can I just rubbage through these drawers?
Not drawers, drawers.
You know what I mean, basically.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
Yeah.
Then he has to go off world, of course.
Yeah, because otherwise.
Some visitors are coming down. And also because otherwise it's just another desert planet. I can Yeah, yeah, I know. Yeah. But then he has to go off world, of course. Yeah, because otherwise. Some visitors are coming down.
And also because otherwise it's just another desert planet.
I can handle that either, quite frankly.
I don't think I need another six, seven stars.
I mean, it's not just a desert planet.
It's the classic desert planet.
That's true.
Well, there's others.
But yeah, you're right, exactly.
There's two others.
Now, what we don't get in the trailer.
Can I just come in and wash my hands?
It's very dry out there.
The water's very rare.
Like, it's not.
Why do you need to wash them anyway?
What have you been doing?
Just take a little bit of water.
There is a comic where he goes, he stops Jabba the Hutt's henchmen
because they're stealing water.
Okay.
And he's like, no, thank you.
I'm going to put a stop to this.
But just quietly.
I'm not going to use a bigger lightsaber.
He's got a bigger
one that he uses
for extreme occasions.
What was I going to say?
I don't know, James. Doesn't matter.
He's back to do that.
I'm excited for that and I'm excited
for everybody. I'm excited for
Ewan McGregor doing hot ones
but he has to do it in character as Obi-Wan
Kenobi. Can I have some water, please?
No, we're doing the whole thing
in character, so you can't have water.
Oh. Da bomb.
Yeah. Da bomb here.
So is it true you were looking at a little
boy for like 19 years?
Well, technically, yes, that was.
You just gave me a minute. I can't think
what I was talking about.
Oh, it's just hit me now. Just, technically, yes, that was. You'll just give me a minute. I can't think what I'm talking about. Oh, it's just hit me now.
Oh, it just sneaks in there.
Oh, speaking of sneaking.
Keep your hands away from your eyes, et cetera and so forth,
how that show goes, how that very successful show goes.
Can I have some blue milk, please?
Yeah, okay, that's canon.
You can have that.
But it's because, of course, Have some blue milk, please. Okay, that's catty. You can have that.
Because, of course, Obi-Wan Kenobi is coming back to television.
Finally, Mason.
He's making his television return.
Finally.
Famous TV show character, Obi-Wan Kenobi.
There's a Star Wars book called Star Wars Brotherhood by Mike Chen.
It's called Star Wars Brotherhood by Mike Chen.
Yes, that's right. Do they explain who Mike Chen is in the comic book?
They don't explain it at all. He never Mike Chen. Yes, that's right. Do they explain who Mike Chen is in the comic book? They don't explain it at all.
It never comes up.
Yeah, it's weird.
But it's set at the very beginning of the Clone Wars,
so right after Star Wars Episode 2.
I'm doing an audio book because I love how they put in the music
and sound effects.
Ooh.
And I want to see.
Boing, oing, oing, oing.
I want to see if the person reading it can do it.
It's time to get my lightsaber out.
A boing, oing, oing, oing, oing.
Oh, wait.
Who's this? It's. Oh, wait. Who's this?
Is this one of our famous characters, James?
Obi-Wan has an erection, the character, yes.
I'm back.
Rude Obi-Wan Kenobi.
You thought I was gone, but I've returned.
Anakin.
Do you remember Order 66, Anakin?
Yes, I was involved heavily.
What if it was three more, Anakin?
That's right, Anakin? Yes, I was involved heavily. What if it was three more, Anakin? That's right, Anakin.
Order 69.
Portions for two, Anakin.
Yes, yes.
What do you think about that?
And it's the sex number even a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.
This is as he's trying to crawl out of the lava.
Stop!
Anakin, look.
He's still trying to crawl out of the lava.
And Anakin, look. I'm holding my lightsaber down by my crotch
and I'm waggling it like it's a big willy.
What do you think about that?
It's very unpleasant.
It's rude.
I'm rude every once in a while.
I know.
Anyways, very rude.
I can tell, yeah.
Tell me more about this.
Anyways, Variety article. Is this, yeah. Tell me more about this. Anyways, variety article.
Is this anything to do with Hayden Christensen?
Which, the article?
Just generally.
Not really.
Because he's in a lot of the marketing materials,
which suggests to me that.
He's in it as himself a lot?
Yeah.
What am I doing here?
It's me, Hayden Christensen.
How did I get stuck in the Star Wars universe?
I'm trapped.
I've been dead for 10 years.
They brought me back.
What do you think?
All right.
I don't know what the hot stick looks like.
And I'm here to teach you typing.
I think they're going to do at least one flashback
and a bunch of like his helmet comes off
and you see him out of the suit or whatever.
Sure.
And he's like, oh, I'm still sore from that thing that happened to me.
My lips are so chapped.
Can I have a drink?
You have any of that beeswax lip balm?
Do they have bees?
Oh, they do.
We buried them in that thing.
Yeah.
Hang on.
I'm just going to take my jumper off because it's hotter than I thought.
There we go.
Okay.
So a couple of things.
There's a bunch of things here.
First of all, John Watts, who you might know as the director
of Spider-Man movies.
Just wanted to say you now have a very improv troupe vibe.
You've got a long-sleeved black shirt on.
And you're dabbing.
No, you're dabbing.
No, I'm not.
Just to clarify, basically.
Oh, you're doing some improv, I see.
No, no, you're.
He's literally doing a dab, though.
I can see it.
You're doing it.
No, he's.
But people don't dab anymore, Mason.
Here's the thing, James.
I love doing a dab, but I'll do it on my own time.
Thank you very much.
I'll do it on my own.
Don't say that I'm doing a dab when I'm not.
It dilutes the power of me doing a dab.
A daggy dab.
Will we see a second dab from you by the end of this episode?
Maybe.
So you did the first one already?
No, but I'll do two.
Okay.
I'll do two.
And there was one more trailer, Mason, for Andor,
which is apparently going to be just two seasons,
12 episodes in each.
Oh, a mere 24 episodes.
That's right.
It's going to be set five years after Return of the Jedi.
Love it.
Despite him being dead by then.
That's right.
It's the perfect time period when you think about it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I did enjoy that the Imperial officers have matching, like, Imperial keep cups. I thought that was good. That's fun, isn about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I did enjoy that the Imperial officers have matching, like,
Imperial keep cups.
I thought that was good.
That's fun, isn't it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What are they drinking in there?
I think they call it caff.
Like, give me some caff, they say.
Yeah, that's right.
Or a hot chocolate because that exists in the Star Wars universe.
But if you don't have a caff, I'll have a te.
That's a te.
Terrific.
It's always fascinating what words they will decide
the Star Wars universe will just be English words
and stuff they have to invent.
Like see you in hell.
See you in hell, for example.
Or Carrie, Carrie Fisher.
Carrie Fisher.
Or like they'll say like laser.
Yeah.
But they'll go, I'll have a glass of caff, please.
You could just say coffee, I think.
I think they say blaster.
Oh, no, Death Star Laser?
Yeah.
It's also, for the Thrawn trilogy, there was controversy.
Can I have some international roast, please?
Can I have a cup of Tatooine international roast?
I want a Pod's coffee from a Pod's machine.
Oh, now that's Pod coffee.
There was a controversy when the Thrawn trilogy came out
because Luke has a hot chocolate in it.
Do you remember?
I do remember that, yes.
I don't remember the controversy,
but I know that since then there's been controversy.
And I think chocolate is still canon in the Star Wars universe.
That's good.
But, you know, there's a fucking Iguana in Empire Strikes Back, you know.
So there's just some Earth stuff there, you know.
Anyway.
Okay.
Just hear me out, James.
Mug, Imperial logo, and it says,
don't talk to me until I've had my calf.
What do you think about that?
It probably exists.
Better exist.
Yeah, it's on Redbubble.
But if Darth Vader sees you with it, he'll execute you.
Because it's his mug?
Yeah.
Great.
He took his mug. Do you reckon he could drink up hot coffee?
I don't think he could. No, you'd have to pour it into one of his chest vents. So he'd? Yeah. Great. He took his mug. Do you reckon he could drink up hot coffee? I don't think he could.
No, you'd have to pour it into one of his chest vents.
So he'd lie flat.
Yep, that's right.
On the staff bench.
No, no, flat, head slightly down because there's no motive power to get it.
If it was flat, he'd have to wait for it to drizzle in.
So he has to do head, like he's doing a beer bong or something like that.
Pour it into his chest.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Could somebody please wipe down this bench after I'm done with my morning
calf?
But don't talk to me before I've poured my morning calf into one of my chest
cavities.
But don't talk to me after my morning calf either.
We also see.
Just don't.
Clone Wars flashbacks. And we also see... Just don't. Clone Wars flashbacks.
And we also see the Senate very briefly.
Yeah, right.
So I guess they fixed all that stuff that fell down in there.
God, you'd go into that room and be like,
you remember when Yoda and the Emperor had a big fight?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You'd be like, what the fuck happened here?
What did you do, Yoda?
He was gone at that point.
Maybe that's why he left.
He's like, shit, I've got to go.
I'm not paying for this.
I'm not paying for any of this.
Just see if they'll find me.
They won't find me.
I'm never coming back.
Yoda's leaving.
One of the clone troopers is like, Yoda, you're leaving because you're in fear
of the power of the dark side of the force? Yeah, you're leaving because you're in fear of the power
of the dark side of the force?
Yeah, man, that's why I'm leaving.
Could you not go into that room for like 20 minutes?
So, yeah, it looks really good, I think.
Yeah, it does.
Mason, let's do Star Wars.
Okay.
News.
Okay, great.
Not do a Star Wars? Do great. Not do a Star Wars?
Do you want to do a Star Wars?
It seems like a lot of work in retrospect.
Look, Elsa, you'd get fired.
You wouldn't be able to finish it.
It's true.
And then people would ask you about it for the rest of your life,
but you never did it.
So you'd be sad that you didn't do it and people are still asking you about it.
Yeah.
The worst of both worlds.
That is very true.
Yeah.
Anyway, what would have your Star Wars movie looked like?
Star Wars.
First one.
I would have done Star with a Gun.
I would have done a live action remake.
Star with a Gun, Mason.
Live action remake.
Star with a Gun.
Crime procedural, but it's Star Wars.
But it's just the first Star Wars.
It's just the first Star Wars movie.
It's just a couple of like cops with a notebook following all the protagonists around.
They show up in the next scene and they're just like a Tatooine.
So what you're saying is they got in a ship, they got an old ship,
and then they just took off.
Okay.
We don't actually have the budget to follow them.
Did you get the number plate of the ship?
None of these things have number plates.
Oh, we should know that, shouldn't we?
Because we should.
You are from here.
We're from Star Wars.
Yeah, we're from Star Wars.
We're the Star Wars police. This we're from Star Wars. We're the Star Wars police.
This is separate from the Empire?
Yes.
Okay.
Great.
Okay, so you're saying that a man, an old man,
he had a laser sword and he cut your arm off with it.
Can you?
Did you have a number?
Okay, thanks for your statement.
Could you sign?
Oh, your arm's been cut off.
We're not with the Empire.
No, we're just separate.
Yeah.
We're local council.
That's what we are essentially.
Yeah.
We got a trailer for Andor.
Also, if you go on Disney, there's like a 10-minute special look at it
where they go behind the scenes and they go,
this is Star Wars for real.
It does look very good actually.
It does, yeah.
It looks kind of great.
As someone who thought the end of Rogue One,
like that battle is incredible, I'll take some Rogue One fleshing out.
Yes.
I'll take five years of Star Wars leading up to when Rogue One starts.
And I guess it's also, you probably know this,
but this is mostly real, I think.
Like real locations.
Star Wars is real.
Star Wars is real.
Real location, real sets.
Right.
And all of that.
I think very little volume, if any.
That's probably for the best.
Yeah.
I think there's a balance to be struck, Mason.
Yeah, but they're not good at striking that balance, are they?
There's a balance to be struck, Mason.
Yes.
So that's good.
Now the first three episodes of this.
So you're telling me that they all, they ended up in the trash compactor and it just just kept
is there no safety switch on the who are they asking this some guy i don't know this is before
the death they're asking dance fight so mr vader you're saying there's no there's no safety switch
on the there's no safety on the trash compactor We are going to have to issue you a $75 fine.
Credit.
No, no, dollars.
Okay.
That would be significantly harder to pay, you know?
Yeah.
So the first three episodes of this are going up on September 21st.
Ooh.
That's good.
That's pretty close.
That means they have faith in it or don't have faith in it? It's impossible to say at this point. Maybe now it's an elaborate double game. Ooh. That's good. It's pretty close. That means they have faith in it or don't have faith in it.
It's impossible to say at this point.
Maybe now it's an elaborate double game.
Yeah.
Like, oh, God, this sucks, but if we release three,
people will think that we think it's good and the initial reactions
will be positive somehow.
Or it's really, yeah, because it's really slow and boring
and it gets good in the last ten minutes of the third episode.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So if we get them to that, then we've got goodwill.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Also, some of it is going to default to playing at 1.5 speed.
Oh, I love that.
No matter what.
I really love that, Mason.
The Mandalorian Season 3 got a trailer as well.
That's true.
It's going to be out February of 2023.
All your old favourites are back.
Go on.
Mando.
Yep.
Mando's friend.
Grogu.
Who's like, Mando.
Now the other guy. Oh, yeah. He's like, I was in Rocky. Yes. Mando's friend. Grogu. Who's like, Mando. Now the other guy.
Yeah, he's like, I was in Rocky.
Yes.
Some of them.
I was in some of the Rockies.
I was killed in Rocky 4, I want to say.
Yeah, I was hit a lot of times in the head and I died.
Anyway, they punched me into the Star Wars universe.
That's right.
I got reincarnated.
Grogu.
Grogu.
So I think I'd be anticipating this more if we didn't get two
of these episodes in Boba Fett where he got baby Yoda back.
So what you're saying is that you were punched to death
by Dolph Lundgren and you were then punched into this universe.
I've just checked the books and there is a $75 fine attached to that.
That's pretty rough.
Did he arrive as a grown man and naked like he's from the Terminator world
or whatever?
God, that's brutal.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know what's going on.
What a confusing universe.
So, yeah, again, February 2023.
It's a good show.
That's right.
Oh, we're going to talk a little bit about Obi-Wan as well and a bit later.
And speaking of, at BigSandwich.co, which is our bonus subscription service,
like our private Patreon, we have a bunch of extra stuff we do there.
This week was Comic Book Club and we looked at some very strange
Obi-Wan comics from the past.
Yes, I think no longer in continuity, Obi-Wan comics.
Yes, you are correct.
Some wild speculation from comic book writers and artists in the past
as to what's anything.
Of the dark history of Obi-Wan.
What could it really be?
Yeah.
Something weird. Something weird.
Something weird, exactly.
We looked at a couple of stories there.
Anyways, this story.
Not a man working in a meat factory.
No, certainly not.
Mm-hmm.
Every day I play a little game.
I call it Hide the Meat.
Oh, Obi-Wan.
Uncle Owen, are you familiar with this game?
You're awful wherever you go.
Uncle Owen, do you want to see my hidden meat?
No.
Uncle Owen, sometimes I get my hidden meat out on the space bus
and I say hello there.
Do you want a little taste of my hidden meat?
You can have a little nibble and then you can perhaps have a big mouthful.
I'm rude Obi-Wan Kenobi.
My allegiance isn't to democracy, it's to hidden meat.
What an awful character you've created that I can't veto.
He's so rude, this guy.
He's so rude.
He's so weird.
I don't like him.
I don't like him either.
He gets ruder every week.
Anyways.
I put my little meat in a little pack.
Mason.
Go on.
BuzzFeed News.
Is this good?
Yeah, I love BuzzFeed News.
Okay, great.
You're right.
Are we doing a BuzzFeed quiz after this?
Yes, we are.
How many apples are there?
Which apples are this?
Oh, my God.
What is that?
We'd love that.
If it's not like, not what Pokemon are you or whatever,
it's just like, how many apples are there?
And you can't, you don't pick from four.
You have to enter a number.
Seth Green. do you remember
we've almost certainly talked about this
do you remember there's a game designer called
Peter Molyneux
he's made various games and they're very very well regarded
no they're not
he lies
no he is he's all hyperbole
but he did that he created this thing that was like
what's in the cube?
And everybody read it.
Oh, yeah.
It was a giant cube and it was composed of like a billion other cubes.
Oh, Mr. Beast, I made a real billion cube.
Mr. Beast, no.
You've gone too far.
It's too light.
It's too dense.
It's like a black hole.
It's sucking the earth into it.
Mr. Beast.
But the idea was you would go to this website
that had this billion cube cube on it
and you would just click the cube and the cubes would disappear
and it would break down into layers.
Yes.
And at the end there was like a prize
and whoever got to the last layer got a prize
and it was a life-changing prize.
What was it?
Nothing.
No, the prize was.
Wasn't it to keep it a secret or something?
No, the prize was that that was a different cube.
That was a different cube probably.
I've created two cubes on Mr. Beast.
Mr. Beast, no.
They're thrown off the orbit of the earth, Mr. Beast.
What have you done?
It's going to get a lot of views though.
We should have built the cube.
But the prize was that whoever got to the centre would become the god
in this upcoming game that he created called Goddess
and you would make decisions about the game but also you would get a share
of the profits from the game.
So that was the life-changing element.
But I don't think they ever made the game.
I'm shocked.
I don't think they finished the game.
I'm really surprised.
So some guy who spent like months of his life clicking this cube.
Maybe he was the last guy who just came in.
Yeah, maybe he was.
Yeah, that's true.
That's mine.
So I'll just give this a go, Click.
Oh, I won.
I won.
Terrific.
I'm the god of goddess.
Why was I talking about that?
BuzzFeed News, but apples.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How many apples?
You've just got to input a number.
So Seth Green's kidnapped board ape has been returned
to its original owner, ending weeks of frantic speculation
as to the whereabouts.
I'm already applauding that.
And the intentions of its alleged abductor,
a pseudonym NFT collector known as Mr. Cheese.
Mr. Cheese, no!
Green confirms to BuzzFeed News. My apes, Mr. Cheese.
Green confirmed to BuzzFeed News that the ape is home.
So that's great.
He got his ape back that he created for a show that he is also creating.
But also it's said if you look through all the, you know,
because every transaction can be tracked if you know the wallet identities or whatever the fuck.
Don't at me.
I don't give a fuck how that works. Green transferred 165 Ether or approximately $297,000
to the address operated by the NFT trader in exchange for his ape.
So there you go.
I'm actually.
He paid $300,000 for a thing that he is his.
Terrific.
I love it.
It was his already.
That's great.
I love it.
That's terrific.
I am now excited to see the show. You saw the trailer. I mean, that's kind of the whole show, yeah. Yeah. But I it. That's great. I love it. That's terrific. I am now excited to see the show.
You saw the trailer.
I mean, that's kind of the whole show, yeah.
Yeah.
But I want to see it now.
Do you?
Yeah.
You're not going to watch it.
I'll watch one episode.
You'll have to get it through a weird blockchain something or whatever.
Oh, that's a good point.
It won't just be on a streaming service, will it?
Yeah, it'll be weird.
It'll go through a weird website.
Or I could watch it on YouTube.
Yeah.
It'll immediately just be on YouTube.
You're probably right. Yeah, yeah. There you go. a weird website. Or I could watch it on YouTube. Yeah. Because it'll immediately just be on YouTube. You're probably right.
Yeah, yeah.
There you go.
So Fast X.
We didn't mention this last week, but Fast 10 is called Fast X.
As an affront to God, they went with the title Fast X.
Yeah.
On purpose, right?
Oh, as opposed to Fast 10.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sure.
Anyways, somebody must have been upset because Justin Lin,
the director of this movie and four to five others.
Now, people have speculated and it has been said that it's probably.
Vin Diesel.
Vin Diesel.
Not like Vin Diesel kicked him out, but there has been a, you know,
there's been a clash because, I mean, it is Vin Diesel's franchise
at this point.
I guess that's true, yeah.
Like he is, like him or not.
Yeah.
He runs that show.
I feel I read somewhere there's some stipulation that Vin Diesel
cannot direct this movie.
Oh, why is that?
I don't know.
I just read it on Twitter so it must be true.
It must.
But, I mean, the idea, you know, obviously when a star is, you know,
the iconic image of a movie
or a movie franchise.
Yeah.
In a lot of ways, even if they aren't directing it,
in a lot of ways they are directing it.
Absolutely true.
Yeah, exactly.
Like Tom Cruise.
Yeah.
Doesn't direct the Mission Impossible movies.
But does he?
Great question.
I imagine he gets a vast amount of input into how those are put together.
The new one's called Dead Reckoning.
Oh, we're going to talk about that, yeah,
but thanks for getting ahead of me, Mason.
You're welcome.
That's not your one bit of news.
You're welcome, James.
So I don't know if you saw this.
This was actually as production started.
This is Vin Diesel in what looks like a hostage situation.
Oh, is that Justin Lin?
Talking to Justin Lin.
So here we go.
I'm going to play this for you.
Okay.
What do you think, Justin?
Week one.
It's finished week one.
How does it feel?
Feels like the beginning of an epic ending.
Is it fair to say that this will be the best one?
In my heart, yes.
Did you not say that?
Did you not say that?
No, I'd never said that before.
That's great.
So that was a week ago.
That's incredible.
Okay, wow.
Vin, you know you can take –
If we did sound bites, my God, I'd put that straight on the board.
Vin, you know you can take a second take of that.
You're a movie man.
You know you can take a second take.
And if one of your actors, director Justin Lin, was clearly like,
I mean, yeah, I guess.
We're doing the best.
I guess it's going to be good.
I don't know.
Woo!
Incredible.
Yeah, really good stuff.
So, yeah, look, also it's in Universal's best interest
to kind of move this along.
They could just get, I'd imagine, a second unit director to step in,
somebody who's been on these movies for a long time.
You know what I mean?
A lot of people have suggested Ron Howard like he did for Solo
and he's done car movies before.
Solo's got a car chase but he did the movie Rush,
you know what I mean?
And he's really good at apparently establishing a mood.
But you need to bring in somebody who Vin Diesel can vibe with.
Can walk over, I was going to say, you know?
He can vibe with and he's got that drip and Ron Howard's got that drip.
He certainly does.
He's got a puffy vest probably and a baseball cap. And he's got Clint drip. And Ron Howard's got that drip. He certainly does. He's got a puffy vest probably.
And a baseball cap.
And he's got Clint Howard with him.
That's very true.
Can you imagine that little vlog there with Ron Howard in it?
I don't think he'd be cool with it.
Yeah, probably.
I'm just happy to be here.
No.
I really should do some soundboard stuff, you know?
Anyway, that's interesting.
Good stuff.
Mason.
Go on.
Ghostbusters 2 news by the official Ghostbusters revelation.
It's going to be called Ghostbusters Afterlife 2.
Nice.
No, that's not true, actually.
But there was this tweet that says,
the last time we saw Ecto-1, it was driving back into Manhattan, the home of Ghostbusters.
Hell, yeah.
And there's a date for the new movie, which is December 20, 2023.
Too many 20s in that.
I don't like it.
So the end of next year.
Does that help?
Yeah, I guess.
Sure.
That's great.
We should be back from our break by then.
Hopefully.
Hopefully, sure.
Unless we get used to that, you know, that luxury.
I am worried that I'm going to get used to it.
Just be like, oh, why don't I do this every day?
No, you would get used to it, but I have the paranoia
that every millisecond we're not recording stuff.
Yeah.
We're losing listeners.
Oh, that's fine.
Yeah, cool.
I don't mind.
I don't mind, Mason.
Okay.
Yeah.
So it's going back to New York.
Do we have any plot details or anything like that?
Yes, it said that's where our story begins.
The codename is Firehouse.
Nice, because they work out of a firehouse.
What I love about Ghostbusters is that it's not a very good franchise on the whole.
Sure.
And all their terrible fans hate me.
Sure do.
That's my favourite thing.
I like that also because that brings all the heat off me.
Yeah.
You know? You say one time that Ghostbusters 2016 is funnier than Ghostbusters 2
and all of a sudden you've got all these 50-year-old men.
James, you're saying it again.
You've just said it again.
Yeah, but I only said that because it's true.
People need to get past the fact that the original Ghostbusters
are in Ghostbusters 2 because it's not a funny movie.
I'm not saying the 2016 one is a very funny movie because it's not,
but it is a funnier movie than that.
All comedy is subjective, but that is obviously right,
and the best Ghostbusters sequel is the newest one.
I see what you're doing here, James.
Which was crap.
You were angling.
You were angling for a 20-minute outraged response video
from a man dressed in a Slimer costume,
and it's not going to happen, all right?
Lightning can only strike once, James, or something is the expression.
You liked the last one, didn't you?
I did like the last one.
It was a lot of fun.
It was all right, yeah.
But then they just did Ghostbusters 1.
Remember it hit the halfway point and then they just went demon dogs
and dimensions and whatever.
So I think what they want here is they want to bring it back to New York,
but they give us a new adventure in New York.
But, I mean, that's Force Awakens.
They had to do a soft reboot that is also a sequel,
and that's what they did, and I think they pulled it off.
But, yeah, we've got to get back to New York.
We've got to do a new adventure in New York.
Yep.
Maybe there's something under a bridge.
I liked all the new stuff in the new one.
Maybe there's something under a bridge. Well, like what? stuff in the new one. Maybe there's something under a bridge.
Well, like what?
Troll?
A troll.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's great.
Or an angry New Yorker.
Yeah, well, yeah, we're bloody one and the same, am I right?
Yeah, that's right.
Are we all right, everybody?
You are right.
Yeah.
Or they could just – what about Ghostbusters Regional Adventures?
They just go out to some town and they're like, oh, the town's folk are like,
oh, there's a ghost.
He's down in the old way.
Yeah, I know.
But most of these are.
The last one was Ghostbusters regional adventure.
Most of these are crank calls though.
Okay.
Yeah.
So it's what?
An hour and a half of just like this is nothing.
Yeah, yeah.
And then they're like, by the way, we need, call that fees $5,000.
Then they go run out of town.
And then they're like, oh, there was a ghost under this bridge.
And they go, zap.
Yes.
And then it's over.
Yeah.
Great.
Anyway, I can't wait to enter this discourse again.
Mason.
Mason, it's time for one bit of Mason's news.
Oh, here's a bit of news that I thought you would enjoy, James.
I love news.
It's from Stereogum.com.
Billy Joel biopic greenlit without the rights to Billy Joel's likeness,
name, or music.
I love it.
A real Jackie Jomp Jomp situation.
Who's doing it?
Okay.
So a Billy Joel biopic, Piano Man,
has been greenlit by Michael Jai White's Gigantic Studios
with Adam Ripp on board to write and direct.
He could be a good God of War.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Or a good Billy Joel.
Mmm.
Right?
The catch, according to Variety, Joel is not involved in the project
and will not grant rights to his name, likeness, life story or music.
So what are we doing here?
Well, it'll follow Billy Joel's early years from being discovered
by his first manager, Irvin Mazua, at age 16.
Gigantic, meanwhile, has instead acquired the rights to Mazua,
who managed Joel from 1965 to 1972.
So maybe it's a biopic about his manager.
So it's just the adventures of his manager managing a superstar musician
who we never see. That's awful.
And none of his life is explained.
There was that, I was going to say,
there was another example of that recently.
It was that Bowie movie.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was Bowie's life but they couldn't do any of his music
or probably even call him David Bowie.
It was called David Yowie and he was an animated Yowie.
So Adam Ripp on board to write and direct.
Adam Ripp is the son of Artie Ripp,
who produced and famously botched Joel's first solo album,
Cold Spring Harbor.
Joel has publicly blamed the commercial failure of this album on Ripp.
What?
And then he.
And now his son is directing.
Now his son is directing a movie about him,
but who can't use any element of this man's life.
That is what is happening.
But it's also going to be about the manager maybe.
This guy says, Billy Joel has been a part of my life since my father signed him
to his record label when I was four years old.
His music is ingrained in my DNA and it's been a dream of mine as a filmmaker
to explore and celebrate the untold story of how Billy Joel became the piano man,
except we can't say Billy Joel or piano man or use any of his music.
It's going to lead up to like, I think I've got an idea,
and then you'll sit at the piano.
Oh, and then his one finger will go down to the key
and then it will cut, fade to black.
Yeah, that's right.
Wow.
Then it says God of War.
Why would you make that?
I don't know.
It's amazing.
No one's going to see it.
I'm so excited to see what they come up with, though.
Yeah.
I mean, you're not going to watch it, though, are you?
No, absolutely not.
But I'm excited for those reviews.
I'm excited for when this comes out and it's like.
Just why?
Why did you do this?
What the guy's name is going to be.
Is this a dare?
Is it vengeance?
Is it a producer's style attempt to rid yourself of a bunch of money
for insurance purposes?
Billy Joel's music is in my DNA, which we cannot use.
That's right.
Maybe that's some kind of legal loophole where if you say it's in your DNA,
you can use some of the music.
Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure.
That's what I was doing.
It's like you can say, well, I can say those jokes
because I'm actually part Billy Joel.
Exactly.
Well, I've got a friend who's Billy Joel.
I can say, my friend who is Billy Joel said I could say
all these horrible slurs.
Billy Joel said I could say.
About Billy Joel.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Terrific.
That's a great one bit of news.
I know, right?
Can you bring one bit of news everywhere?
I would love to bring one bit of news.
I feel like that's not going to happen. It might. But if you could. I know, right? Can you bring one bit of news everywhere? I would love to bring one bit of news. I feel like
that's not going to happen. It might.
But if you could, I love a surprise
bit of news. I'll try to bring a bit
of news. There we go. But will it be the
same high standard as the first bit
of news? That's the thing about bits of news.
You know, they're going to be all over the place.
That's like life. Peaks and troughs, man.
I suspect it's going to end up as an animated feature
where it's literally a man who is also a piano.
Also, I reckon you probably couldn't even use Piano Man.
As the name.
Because he's like so associated with the concept.
Well, if you did it like, if it's Piano Man, the song,
if you put them together, you could probably use it.
Piano Man.
It's one word.
Nice.
Or it's the other way.
I don't know what the actual song is.
Wow.
One news.
So Total Film, they spoke to Christopher Nolan about his upcoming movie,
Oppenheimer, which is, of course, about the creation of the first nuclear weapon.
It's pronounced nuclear.
Nuclear.
Nuclear.
Nuclear, man.
The atom bomb.
The atom bomb.
Thank you.
That's much easier.
And what Christopher Nolan is up to.
So one of the things he's going to do in that movie is replicate the Trinity test,
which was the first nuclear weapon demonstration, which was done in New Mexico.
But here's the thing, Mason.
Here's the twist.
Oh, no.
People are going wild for this.
He's doing it practically.
He's not going to use any digital effects.
So people have been saying, and we probably joked about this, that like, oh, my God, like he's doing a to use any digital effects so people have been saying and we probably joked about this that like oh my god
like he's gonna
he's doing a real nuclear explosion
look I don't know if we
I don't know if we said this specifically
or maybe somebody in the internet said it
and we parroted it
like we do
but I think maybe we said something like
given the pandemic
so many movies shut down
they should have just saved up all the stunt points
and have him detonate a real nuclear bomb.
Absolutely.
That makes a lot of sense.
So he's going to.
Well, no.
Well, obviously it's not.
I mean, it's just called an explosion.
Yes.
I mean, it's going to be spectacular and apparently you've got to get the
weather right and all of these different factors to make it look like a nuclear
explosion.
But he's just, he's not just.
It's a big explosion.
Now, is this, do you think this is going to be record-breaking?
Because in the last few years we've had, you know,
Spectre was the biggest one, I think.
And everybody looked at that and went, yeah, that's pretty good.
Yeah, I guess.
That's what the people in the shop seem to be doing.
Like the way that Daniel Craig and Leo Sido just looked at it just like,
yeah, all right.
Yeah, I mean, there's a fine line between.
Let's go. There's a fine line between, like, cool guys don't look at it just like, yeah, all right. Yeah, I mean, there's a fine line between. Let's go.
There's a fine line between like cool guys don't look at explosions
and you should, there's something happening, man.
You should pay attention to that.
You should have been like, Christ on a bike.
You know what?
That singed my ball hairs.
It would have been great if either of those two said Christ on a bike,
that singed my balls hair because they can only do one take.
So you've got to put it in, don't you?
Exactly, that's right.
So that's fun.
So there you go.
I'm looking forward to Oppenheimer.
How is he going to twist time this time around, Mason?
I don't think he will, right?
Well, we always say that or I always say that
and then he always does somehow.
Oh, I mean it will be more in the vein of your...
Like a...
Dunkirk.
Dunkirk.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Than a Tenet.
That's correct, yes.
Yeah, which is a movie also.
I cannot imagine...
No, I cannot see him going wacky with time travel.
Like the first atom bomb goes off and John Tenet and his mate show up
and they're like...
Could you see some kind of slow motion nuclear blast happening
and you see it happening in a weird time way?
Oh, yeah, 100%.
And there's weird time stuff happening?
Sure, yeah.
Maybe there's a counter?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Of how many seconds all the people are obliterated or something?
Exactly, yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
Just a counter.
Yeah, yeah.
It's just a, yeah.
We see Cillian Murphy and he's like, Christ on a bike.
That's such a fun post.
Correct. Yes.
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Ahoy there. Ahoj.
Yeah.
It's great to be here.
It's good to be nautical themed, isn't it?
Yeah.
Is that what we're going with this week?
Yeah, Mason, that's the thing.
We're on a boat.
Oh, you're already tired of the premise.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're already tired of the premise you invented.
Oh, look, it's pirates or whatever.
Oh, no, we're going to steer this content ship into an iceberg.
That's the new DC thing that happened, you know, et cetera.
How about pirates generally steer their ship into icebergs?
No, no, we're avoiding the pirates.
So there's pirates.
Are we also pirates?
No, no, we're regular.
We're a content ship.
We're a content ship.
Okay.
Let me map this out.
We're a content ship.
Yep.
And we're carrying content and spices to the new world, perhaps.
Okay, great.
No, from the new world because the new world is Hollywood.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
We're taking it back to the masses.
We're taking it back to the masses, the grubby masses back in the mainland.
But we have to avoid content pirates?
Yep, sure.
Oh, like pirates.
Yeah, sure.
But surely we could just give them the content and we would both have the content.
No, there's a finite amount of content.
It's in this scenario because I guess it's a metaphor.
Okay. Or it's a real thing that we're It's in this scenario because I guess it's a metaphor. Okay.
Or it's a real thing that we're pretending we're doing.
Yeah, okay, great.
It's a physical thing that we want to avoid giving other people.
Now, would you suggest perhaps that despite this very elaborate setup,
this podcast will be exactly the same as all our other podcasts?
It remains to be seen.
I certainly hope that it's smooth sailing all around, Mason.
Very nice, yeah.
But it remains to be seen. Okay. Now, Mason, it's a big, Mason. Very nice. Yeah, great. But remains to be seen.
Now, Mason, it's a big week for content, obviously.
Give me your gold! Oh, no.
I've got a cutlass. So you're a pirate, too?
And a pistol. Oh, wow. And a peg leg. And a parrot.
And a big hat.
It's too many. A lot of jewellery. You've got too many
pirate things. I've got, like, those raccoon eyes.
You've got to pick two.
You know what I mean?
It's like the peg leg and the parrot and maybe a weapon actually.
Okay, I'm going to get rid of the peg leg because I think I want it to be easier to like.
You want regular leg.
I want regular leg to, you know, climb up the side of a ship perhaps.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I keep the cutlass because that's cool.
It is cool.
You don't have to reload it.
You can just stab.
That's true, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I've got a cornetto for after.
Yeah, after you stab me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to eat Cornetto for after. Yeah, after you stab me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll eat the Cornetto.
Great.
All right, cool.
It's trailer's time.
Trailer's ahoy, everybody.
Should we talk about Doctor Strange first?
Yes.
I have two videos on this.
I'm sick of it.
What do you think?
I'm loving it.
I want to talk about it for an hour.
I'm sick of talking about it.
I want to talk about it for an hour.
Yeah, but people don't know your thoughts.
No, that's true.
It's the way you act.
Okay, I guess my question to you, James, is
there are a lot of revelations. I told you, I'm sick
of it. I know, but I want your hot take
on it. What in the trailer do you
think is an obvious misdirect or lie?
Like, what have they CGI'd out? How many people are in those chairs?
Yes, the comic book ones,
it's Professor X,
who is in this, but maybe he's
not. It's Patrick Stewart's voice. It is Patrick Stewart's voice.
He was interviewed this week and was like,
it couldn't have been me because I was watching the Super Bowl.
It couldn't have been me.
And I'm like, good stuff, Patrick Stewart, never change.
I was eating a hot dog.
He does seem surprised by this.
With American mustard on it.
Is that a worse kind of mustard, would you feel?
No.
No?
I get American mustard, sure.
It's their own.
Anyway, go on.
And I washed it down with a Budweiser.
Budweiser.
That's what I would say.
You would say that, wouldn't you?
Yeah.
So, yeah, they've talked about there's rumors of, like,
Johan Griffith returning as his version of Mr. Fantastic or a version.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Uh-huh.
So I just don't know.
I saw a quote here from Benedict Cumberbatch this week who says,
we can bring our game to life.
Is that how he started it?
Yeah.
I should have just stayed in theatre.
Oh, God.
I hate this wig.
I hate answering questions.
I hate working out.
Oh, God.
I hate waving my arms around in front of a green screen. Oh, fuck. I look so stupid. Okay. So the scene where I wake up out of
bed and like the sheets come down, I got all my abs and whatever. Can I just stay under
the sheets because I don't want to work out? I just want to stay under the sheets. Can
I be like, I don't want to, can my character be like, I don't want to, I just want to stay
under the sheets and eat donuts. I remember that time in Sherlock when they did like the Matrix camera thing
and I knew then that like I'm on the wrong path.
Like I knew that this is not the direction I want to go.
Fuck.
I want to be in that play where I fall in love with a horse or whatever.
I want to be in that.
That's his first interview for the day.
He's got ten hours of it.
Yeah, that's good stuff.
Do you think we bring a lot of ourselves into these characters
that we invent?
Just people being fed up.
Yeah, probably.
Yeah.
So we can bring.
No, I don't want to just be at home in bed eating donuts.
No, absolutely not.
What's your like, I think it's like Spider,
like Tobey Maguire's probably going to be in it.
Like a whole bunch of stuff, I think.
Because it's Sam Raimi as well.
Oh, of course, yeah.
What's the thing that you're like, doesn't have to be true,
but what's like something you would love to see?
Maybe you're in it.
Maybe you fly past the camera.
Oh, my goodness.
Weekly Planet Podcast.
Oh, I get a little plug in there.
Okay, that's great.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'd mess it up.
I'd be like, Weekly Planet Podcast. And people are like, what does that mean? We're not going Okay, that's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd mess it up. I'd be like, Weekly Planet Plodcast.
And people are like, what does that mean?
We're not going to Google it, though.
Yeah, no.
But if you go to Google and you type in Weekly Planet Plodcast,
it's like, we're not going to help you.
Yeah, sorry, no.
No, no.
Yeah.
Oh, gosh.
It's a multiverse of madness.
Yeah.
I want to see a live action character interact with an animated character
like that Paula Abdul video where she talks to opposites attract.
I don't remember that.
She's in love with MC Scat Cat who's an animated cat.
Wow.
That sounds right up your alley.
Yep.
Wait, no.
Cool.
It's month miss, everybody. We all know that. That that's right it's on all our calendars it's on my morbius calendar that i obviously have and will continue to have for the rest of my life that's
true yes it's always going to be oh you had one printed for the rest of your life yeah so no it's
just going to be the 2022 character calendar i'm just going to keep using it okay that's terrific
just more and more scrolls over it. Yep.
Oh, my children have a test that day. I'll just scratch that out because Morbius is coming out.
So,
anyway, so actually we can play a little game, Mason.
And I guess it's kind of a callback
or just a call. It's not a back.
We do them all the time. We're getting a call.
Well, you have to guess the review from the whatever.
Okay. This is
one's for Sonic 2, which is also coming out this week,
in Australia at least, and the other is for Morbius.
Okay.
So you get a guess, okay?
Okay.
It's by Neil Vagg who says,
Hashtag Morbius walks a fine tightrope between gothic vampire melodrama
and comic book fantasy.
Jared Leto embodies Michael Morbius with a dedication no other actor could.
The pacing is brisk and it features some great visual flair.
Oh, is what you've done here is you've changed?
Have you changed?
No, no, I have not changed a single thing.
Oh, Morbius.
Correct.
Nice.
That is as kind as any of these are.
That's the kindest one I could find.
I thought you'd done a little bit of homework and you'd changed.
Like James Marsden does a real fun job here
and you've just changed it to Morbius.
I don't know.
This is from Jeff Vega who says,
I've seen Sonic Movie 2 and I already miss it.
Sonic Movie 2.
Correct, that's right.
This is from Sab Astley who says,
Well, Morbius is about as bad as you're expecting.
A 2005 plot collides with visually confusing CGI
to create a bit of a snooze fest.
But don't worry, they've saved the worst for last,
featuring some of the worst post-credit scenes you've ever seen sony are off their rocker that's morbius what i love about that
is just post-credits like how do you how bad could they be how could they how bad could they be like
they for the most part they are an afterthought or occasionally it's like oh my god it's going
to be that character whatever like we 99 of it's like oh it's that character it's going to be that character or whatever. Like 99% of it's like, oh, it's that character who's going to be in a movie
in a year or whatever.
Yeah, exactly.
But to be like, these are bad and awful.
Incredible.
Because even Justice League 2, Justice League original,
had Superman racing the Flash.
And it's like, that's fine, right?
Anyways, this one's from Kevin Polowee who says,
Sonic the Hedgehog 2 is the godfather part two of Sonic the Hedgehog movies.
Oh, that's good.
But that's Sonic 2.
That's correct.
This is from Cameron Howell.
Morbius is just as disjointed, as boring as you'd expect it to be.
Clearly butchered in an edit by a studio who have no clue what they want to do with it.
Not that there's a good film trapped in there.
Mid-credits are a joke, but stick around if you like rolling your eyes.
Oh, nice.
That's Morbius.
That is Morbius.
Brutal.
This is from Escape Film Club.
Hashtag Morbius provides, proves, sorry,
no matter how many famous faces or shiny visuals you squeeze in,
Sony will always find a way to impressively misunderstand basic storytelling.
Wow.
Fuck.
Oh, that's Morbius.
Thank you.
This is from Nikki Novak who says,
just saw Sonic the Hedgehog 2 and it's a love letter to video game lovers.
Had a ton of fun with it.
Unlike a lot of blockbusters, the third act is bananas
and the strongest of the film.
Jim Carrey reigns supreme.
That's Sonic 2, but the little dig at other blockbusters
was about Morbius, I think.
It's from Ren Geekness who says, in Morbius, Matt Smith
gloriously hams it up all over the place.
And Oliver Wood delivers some visual flair to the action sequences.
Aside from that, the bad plotting and messy CGI, confusing editing,
and worse sound mix result in absolute incoherence.
But the post-credits managed to outdo it all.
God, that's fascinating.
What is happening?
I cannot wait.
Do not spoil it out there, folks, for us.
Don't spoil it.
Not because we don't want to be like, oh, no,
we don't want to know the future. I want to be like, oh, no, we don't want to know the future.
I want to be like.
Yeah, I want to.
I want to know.
I want to feel it because I'm like.
Also, I think like we do occasionally get invited to media screenings.
Well, we got one for this,
but it literally is the exact same time as anywhere else.
Exactly.
That's what I was going to say.
Exactly the same time.
That's where I'm going with that.
Like the truest yardstick of whether a movie studio thinks a movie
is good or not is how close to the movie's release we get the preview.
I saw Batman like a week early, like a week later.
I don't know if you remember me talking about that.
You wouldn't shut up about it.
Shut up.
Anyway, that is about Morbius unless Matt Smith is in Sonic 2
as like Charmy B or something.
He might be.
This is from Nicola Austin.
He says, well, Morbius is unfortunately not great.
Some really shoddy VFX and 2000s formulaic plot
and definitely not as fun as Venom.
Really confused at the future of Sony's Spider-Verse
following the post-credits scenes and editing.
Matt Smith is clearly having a blast, though.
So there you go.
That's sort of kind-ish.
So people like Matt Smith.
And to be fair, none of these are like,
we fucking hate Jared Leto.
Yeah, right.
You know?
And as someone who does not like Jared Leto, that's not nothing.
There you go.
That's great.
Did you see Matt Smith this week was also like, asked about his character.
He was like, I don't know.
I didn't understand any of his motivations.
I had no backstory.
I don't think it relates to the character.
I think I had the same powers as Morbius, but honestly I just used the script and I did the script.
Oh, is he not a cop? I thought he was a cop or something. I think he gets
some Morbius powers also. Because you need
someone to fight. Because it's Sony.
You fight the same thing as the whatever.
They just use the Venom blackboard
and they swipe up Venom. I don't like Venom,
but if it's like Venom, but it's not
fun. I mean, what are we
even doing here? Wow.
I can't wait.
I cannot wait.
It's month B.S.B.
So next week we'll do more B.S.B.
We might squeeze in a bit of Sonic the Hedgehog too.
Oh, that's true.
Yeah.
God damn.
Those posts are great.
Please nobody spoil it for me.
Please.
Please let me see them.
me please i just please let me see them but it has to be like incoherent and universe breaking and maybe they roll in another spider-man no because if it was that people might like that
right if they're like oh my god it's andrew garfield or whatever yeah yeah you know or
whatever oh my god oh my god anyways good luck to Sony. God bless you.
We love you and we support you, don't we, Mason?
Yes.
Are you excited for this news via deadline?
Gosh, this feels like a trick.
But yes.
Good, because it's the Thunderbolts movie, Mason.
I was right.
He was right.
Yes.
But it says specifically here they want to make a bad one.
So in a way, you're excited for a bad movie. No, I don't want to make a bad one. So in a way you're excited for a bad movie.
No, I don't want to see a bad movie, no.
But I've put all my cards on the table now
and I threw in my full support for it.
That's right.
Well, what do you do?
No, there doesn't...
Guess I'd better be relentlessly positive about it
even if it turns out to be bad.
So Jake Schreier is going to be directing this movie.
He's the director of Paper Towns and Robot and Frank.
Now here's a little bit of news.
I don't know if you have it on there,
but Kurt Busiek, who created the Thunderbolts,
or he at least...
So for people who don't know...
This is your one bit of news?
This is my one bit of news.
So for people who don't know,
the Thunderbolts arrived in Marvel Comics.
They were like all the heroes had disappeared
into a shameless cash grab in a slightly different universe
called Heroes Reborn.
Yes.
And in the meantime, New York City was missing,
didn't have any heroes.
So this new team of heroes showed up called the Thunderbolts,
but then at the end of the first issue it is revealed
that in fact they are all sort of rebranded villains led
by Baron Zemo who decided to pretend to be heroes,
insert themselves into New York's public consciousness and be hailed as the heroes and then they can do some evil crime.
But then, of course, a bunch of them are like,
I actually like being a hero.
I love this costume.
Yeah.
That's enough to sway me.
Exactly right.
Were they new heroes or were they like, I'm the new Captain America?
No, they were all new heroes.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
So Baron Zemo was Citizen V, I think was his name,
and he was like sort of – he was quite a European-looking villain,
a man with a big scimitar, but he also had like an American flag cape.
Oh, nice.
That's all American.
But like there's a villain called Screaming Mimi and she became Songbird.
The Beetle became Mark One.
He became the Beatles.
Good, good.
We're here to save New York.
We're on the Thunderbolt.
Oh, Ringo's fallen down a storm drain.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
He's going to be eaten by those New York alligators in the sewers.
Oh, no.
Rico, no.
But so that team was created by Kurt Busiek, who was the writer,
and Mark Bagley, who was like a long-time Spider-Man artist.
And Kurt Busiek on Twitter, he pointed out that he
and Bagley have a deal with Marvel.
Like so they will get some money off this.
This isn't one of those things where.
Was that them just like being.
So just to be clear.
Yeah, I think so, yeah.
There is an existing deal in place.
Yeah, yeah.
Maybe they haven't contacted us yet and have forgotten.
Oh, maybe, maybe.
But, yeah, definitely the, because Kurt Busiek, you know.
Must find this very Amusiak, I'd imagine.
It's very good.
Thank you.
He should have a podcast or a YouTube series or something called
Kurt Busiek Finds This Very Amus-iac.
But, you know, he was quite a big deal.
He created Astro City, which is like this big independent superhero.
I don't think I've read Astro City.
It's good.
It took a long time to wind up, but worth it.
But among other things, so I think he was probably a creator
who had enough juice to be like, you need to give us a deal.
So if this gets turned into a movie.
We're not doing this for nothing.
We're not doing this for nothing.
So I think that is good because as we know recently,
a lot of creators have been like, oh, they turned my character
into a movie and they're giving me five.
Then they shot me.
They gave me $5,000 and then they shot me when I went to pick it up.
They're like, here's your money, pick it up.
But you'll shoot me, sir.
You pick up the money.
You pick up the money.
You earned that money, you just pick up the money.
But this is a trick.
You just pick up.
This is a little gift from Marvel to you, buddy.
Why don't you pick up your money?
Bang.
We'll take all the money back.
And we put dog poo in it, but we're still taking it. Who knows? I'll be money. Bang. We'll take all the money back. Yeah.
And we put dog poo in it, but we're still taking it.
Who knows?
And that's what we love about movie magic, because who knows?
That's right, yeah.
Something could be good.
Who knows?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe even something today we watched.
Who knows?
Maybe something today we watched could be good. I mean, not Jurassic World, but something in what we're talking about today.
Oh, sure, sure, sure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Who knows?
Anyway, so let's move on, Mason.
This is via THR in relation to all the Marvel leaks
which have been happening of late.
Oh, from your snitch of a mate.
Well, some of that, yeah.
Uh-oh.
So apparently, actually, I don't actually know
where the person gets them from, so I don't want to get anyone in trouble.
I'm not going to get into the specifics.
Do you think maybe they throw a coin in a wishing well or something?
Yeah.
Yes, that's what I think.
It's like that guy's out at DC.
He thought he was going to be the new Feige, but he's not.
I mean, that was news.
That was in the regular news.
How are you getting this news, well?
All sorts of stuff happening down here in the well.
So they say that.
I'm not just making stuff up because I'm bored.
Sometimes it's true and sometimes it's not true.
There's all big stuff happening down here in the well.
Get in.
Not going to eat you.
I'm not a well monster that eats people.
A man with hot scoops.
Is it bad?
I don't know.
You'll have to go down in the well.
I don't want to go in the well.
So apparently.
I don't have big gnashing teeth.
Okay.
I'll tell you that much.
What was that?
That was me eating an apple with my regular teeth,
not chewing on a big human leg with big gnashing teeth.
Don't even worry about it.
Okay, so Mason.
Here we go, Mason.
William Hurt died.
Remember that? I do remember that. That's not recent news. No, he was 72, Mason. William Hurt died. Remember that?
I do remember that.
That's not recent news.
No, he was 72.
He had cancer and he died.
Jeff Snyder, though, said this recently.
He's an entertainment reporter and whatnot.
Terrific.
Not just your mate.
No.
This isn't your source who's alive.
No, this is him, yeah.
Oh, great.
You're outing him now.
No, it's not him.
He said this via the Hot Mic podcast.
He said, though Marvel insiders deny he's been cast in the movie at this time,
multiple sources indicate that Harrison Ford either is or wasn't.
Or isn't.
Was the studio's top choice to star in Thunderbolts as General Ross himself.
It's unclear whether he has already passed.
I feel like you can recast General Ross.
Yes, you can.
Of course, we had previous movies we had.
Sam Elliott.
Sam Elliott was the original.
Wait.
No, he was in the.
It was Anglais.
Yeah, Anglais.
Would that be confusing, though, for people?
No.
No?
No.
People would have watched our amazing video.
I mean, they recast Rhodey, and they did it with one line.
But that was, of course, before.
That was also racism because the guy who did it was like,
no one will notice.
You know, that's true.
No one will notice.
Yeah, yeah.
But, you know, they did it literally with a line,
it's me, get over it kind of thing.
That's true.
But that is years before people got mad at everything.
Yeah.
I mean, they could also bring in like a different guy with a mustache.
Yeah, I mean, in terms of like there's a bunch of. Mario.
Mario, for example.
Of the Super Mario fame.
Exactly.
Oh, we've got to get her the Hulk.
He's sad also.
Why?
I'm working too hard.
I'm leaving my wife at home.
I know.
I've got to get her the Hulk, but it'll take up all of my time.
Peach, you're like a different woman.
Yeah, a real human woman.
You're married to a human woman.
Yes.
Why are you rescuing the princess, though? What's that about? I mean, it's a good woman? Yeah, a real human woman. You're married to a human woman. Yes. Why are you rescuing the princess though?
What's that about?
I mean it's a good deed.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But why is that specifically the only specific deed that you do?
Oh.
You could do like another.
I mean you're doing the thunderbolts I guess.
Yes.
It's two things.
People are like, hey, Mario, why are you always doing that one thing?
And he's like, I'm going to make a supervillain team.
So my wife doesn't get suspicious yet.
I just say, honey, I do all kinds of things.
This is a dumb show, mate.
Yeah, I know.
I had a point, but I can't remember what it is now
because you made me do that thing with Mario of Super Mario Bros. fame
where he's a computer animated man in the Marvel
universe now, but he's also depressed.
Real Mario's depressed.
Yeah, and he's married.
And I think maybe he might bring some of that into the character.
Sure.
Because his daughter's, you know, estranged from his daughter.
That's a good point, actually.
Yeah, yeah, okay.
This is all great stuff.
Yes.
Mason, you're Jackman's backman.
He sure is.
Tal Backman, et Jackman's Backman. He sure is. Tal Backman, et cetera.
Tal Backman.
So he's going to be returning in Deadpool 3 in a trailer reveal
that happened where Ryan Reynolds is like,
I don't know what to do for Deadpool 3.
Run out of ideas.
I've got creatively bankrupt like all of Hollywood.
That's right.
That's right.
Let's burn it all down.
It's a good joke.
And then Hugh Jackman happens to be in his home.
I'm not joking.
No.
Presumably for good fun times and tequila.
That's right.
Or gin or whatever he does.
Also, we've got a video out, Mason, a few weeks back.
It's called Six Marvel Characters the MCU Can't Move.
And you, you stupid son of a bitch.
Oh, what did I say?
You said in this video, well, Hugh Jackman said he's never coming back as Logan.
And then I said, well, we'll see, which I think completely nullifies the previous statement. And all it says there is this comment
aged well, oh, this aged like milk. Oh, actually he is coming back. Oh, I don't know if you heard,
but this video is out of date now because Deadpool, I live in the future. You fucking idiot.
I live where you live. I don't live in this video what are you fucking stupid is your brain broken james you live in that video you're in that video right now i feel like
i'm in this fucking video james just just breathe and focus anyway rob the space knight is a copy
is a toy character and you can't get the car they lost the rights to the character so you can't see
you're in the video here's one h Hugh Jackman is done with being Wolverine.
Hugh Jackman will be back as Wolverine in Deadpool 3,
which was set up in Deadpool 2.
Thanks comment from four hours ago.
Really great.
This is all engagement, James.
I think it's good.
I know, but there's part of me that's like,
leave a pinned comment that's like, hey, shut up.
Another part of me is like, this video is doing well
and do I just let this ride?
Wow.
This one says, Hugh is back to laughing faces.
Oh, so they're weeping.
If only they could have anticipated Hugh and Ryan.
This is your fault, by the way, for saying that.
Yeah.
I did it on purpose to upset you.
This didn't age well and it's only been a week.
Hugh Jackman is back.
Rumour is Hugh Jackman is coming back as Wolverine for Deadpool 3.
And the comment underneath is there's no rumour that's been confirmed.
Can you, on YouTube, can you censor any comments
that have a specific word in them?
Yes.
Well, just get rid of Wolverine.
This video didn't age well.
Hugh Jackman retired.
This quote aged well.
He's done with Wolverine.
We'll see. James, just mute. This quote aged well. He's done with Wolverine. We'll see.
James, just
mute the words Wolverine, Logan,
Hugh Jackman, aged
future video
quote
internet.
The Hugh line,
the Hugh Wolverine line is especially hilarious
now. Hugh Jackman done with Wolverine.
Especially hilarious. Especially hilarious?
Especially this aged well.
James, we're doing too many riffs,
and by riffs I mean you going slowly insane overlooking comments on one of your own videos.
You're right.
Let's move forward.
Anyway, should we move forth?
Yes.
Yeah, speaking of VFX artists,
because it looks like they've got a new job at the moment,
according to The Hollywood Reporter.
Because Marvel have signed a 20-year deal with Stan Lee Universe, a venture between Genius Brands International, Gross, and Pow Entertainment.
Oh.
To license the name and likeness of Lee for use in future feature films and television productions, as well as Disney theme parks, various experiences in these ones.
What are they called?
Quotation marks.
Quotation boys.
And merchandising.
It really ensures that Stan, through digital technology and archival footage and other forms, will live.
No other forms.
Will live.
Screaming maths.
I'm trying to bring it back. It is a screaming forms. Will live. Screaming maths. I'm trying to bring it back.
It is a screaming maths.
Will live in the most important.
You're going to dynamite his coffin and just have it fly across the screen.
That's what we mean by other forms.
It really ensures that Stan, through digital technology
and archival footage and other forms,
will live in the most important venue, the Marvel movies and Disney theme park.
Oh, the most important. That was the most important venue, the Marvel movies and Disney. Oh, the most important.
That was the most important venues.
Said Andy Haywood, chairman and CEO of Genius Brands.
It's a broad deal.
That's how it is, isn't it?
How far do you think this is going to go?
I think in the movies, if I had to guess, it wouldn't surprise me
if Marvel put the back of his head in a movie,
they would take some legal action.
Yeah, fair enough.
So or he's in a crowd or something like that.
Yeah, yeah.
But do you think they'll get him to talk or?
Yes, I think they're going to do all.
And they can do that now because what we've seen from bringing back Luke Skywalker,
that's a digital voice, you know, and it's I don't like it,
but it will probably get better.
Also, he doesn't have to
have full-on conversations or just put in the thing in mall rats where he's like i don't know
what the hulk's dick looks like or whatever just in that oh i have it every time in every subsequent
movie it's just he's talking to other background character i don't know what the hulk's dick looks
like i don't i don't know i'm telling you for the last time. Yeah. Just can you imagine? And then they cut to like, you know, they cut to CNN
and, you know, the Mandarin's blowing up a building
and then just cut.
And we're here with a man on the street.
I don't know what the Hulk's dick looks like.
I don't know.
Terrific stuff.
I mean, can you imagine just seeing an animatronic at Disney
or like a hologram that's like Excelsior?
Hello, everybody. Can you imagine just seeing an animatronic at Disney or like a hologram that's like Excelsior, hello everybody,
I've been dead for 40 years but I've never left because of a brand deal between Genius Brands International
and POW Entertainment.
It's a broad deal.
Anyway, I don't know what the Hulk's dick looks like.
And you can buy a T-shirt that has that on it
and it's got a speech bubble
and it's going down to Puppet Stan Lee.
How morbid is this going to get?
How about a Five Nights at Freddy's style video game where you're being
pursued by killer animatronic Stan Lees?
I think it's going to start reserved and tasteful,
but then it's quickly going to escalate.
I reckon it's going to start worse than you think.
I reckon it might start with like a not very well animated Stan Lee.
Yeah.
And he does a whole speech.
He does a rap with Tupac maybe at the halftime Super Bowl show.
That's right.
Yeah.
And then people.
Both holograms.
I know he's dead, just to clarify.
Yeah.
Yeah, I know he's dead too.
Yeah.
Wink.
Wink, yes.
And then people, there's an enormous backlash.
Sometimes people can die, you know?
What?
They can just die.
You're going to lay this on me now?
It's fine, you know, and you just don't have to bring him back, you know?
Don't you think?
But I wonder if it's because we've been conditioned to live in this universe
where nobody ever really dies, no matter what.
It doesn't matter how, you know, there's always another universe they can come out of or whatever okay have our brains
extended yeah okay real world i agree with that but have you ever seen somebody brought back to
life and it's given you a jesus sure i mean in entertainment whatever jesus aside from jesus
oh okay and you got a good feeling oh and, maybe you've had a neutral feeling because I've certainly felt that.
Or you go, huh, okay.
But have you ever gone, wow, I love this.
No.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, right.
You know?
It's never good.
You don't feel good.
I bet the people working on it don't feel good either.
You know?
Maybe.
I mean, money.
I'd take, you know, like, you're
animating Stan Lee and they pay you a bunch of money?
Good. Yeah.
Oh my god, Jesus has come back. He's come out of
the cave and he's handing me fistfuls of cash.
That's just Disneyland currency.
Oh well. Anyways,
okay.
That's great. You know, whatever. I guess. Family, okay. That's great.
You know, whatever, I guess.
Family, you're getting money.
Whatever.
I don't care, honestly.
All right.
Oh, here's one bit of news, James.
Okay.
Is it Sony Craven news?
Yeah, it's James.
It's Spum news.
Spum's back in the news.
The Sony Pictures Universe of Marvel movies.
Thank God.
And there's been an interview with Aaron Taylor-Johnson.
Was this via Variety?
This is from Polygon.com, but it's probably from Variety.
Sure.
They probably repackaged it.
They've repackaged it from Variety.
Well, we do that.
That's true.
So the actor who stars as Kraven the Hunter in Sony's upcoming movie revealed more information about the film at the Cine Europe conference.
Oh, did you go to that this year?
Yeah, I was there.
That's why I'm late or early.
Yeah, okay.
Time differences.
Yeah, I was very European.
Was it?
Very.
Very cosmopolitan.
What kind of breads did they have?
That swirly bread?
Yeah.
You know, it looks like two different types of bread
in the life of bread.
Marbled bread.
Whatever kind of bread you don't have in this house,
that's the kind of bread they had.
I don't eat bread, Mason.
Well, they had every kind of bread.
Oh, my God.
Just a steaming big table of bread, just a big wooden table of bread
and, yeah, good bread.
That sounds great.
It was great.
Maybe next time you can get me an invite.
What are you going to do?
Stand around the bread table and not eat bread?
I'll eat the bread.
I eat bread, Mason.
I was joking.
And I'll definitely eat a good bread.
I don't want to waste calories on just eating bread,
like just pointless bread. I want good bread. No,'t want to waste calories on just eating bread, just pointless bread.
I want good bread.
No, but I see what would happen there, I think,
is you wouldn't appreciate the really good bread
because you don't spend the remainder of the year, like me,
eating terrible bread, just the worst processed bread.
So I think that would be a waste of an invite.
Could I eat a slice of terrible bread before I eat the good bread?
Yes.
Could I keep it in my pocket on the plane?
You could do that, yes.
And you'd have a nice piece of warm, squished, bad bread
and you could eat it beforehand.
Yes, you could.
Great.
Okay, so Taylor Johnson at Cine Europe, which I was at,
had all sorts of gelato.
And breads, yeah.
Bread and gelato.
Little espresso.
Yeah.
Everybody had a little espresso.
Everybody?
Aaron Taylor Johnson took a little sip of his little espresso.
I don't drink coffee. I don't think I would appreciate
it. Anyway, so go on.
You could keep a cup of 7-Eleven
coffee
in your top pocket of bipolar
and you could keep it in there and you could
have a big swig of cold coffee
before you have a good one. Anyway, he sipped
his little espresso and he describes
Kraven as one of Marvel's most iconic
notorious anti-heroes Spider-Man's number one rival.
I would not disagree with that.
Anti-hero?
That I would, yeah.
A character he found particularly interesting
because he doesn't have any superpowers.
He's just a hunter, a human with conviction,
an animal lover and a protector of the natural world.
He's a very, very cool character.
Now, you just kind of brushed past something in there, though. What's that? And that's about he's an animal lover and a protector of the natural world. He's a very, very cool character. Now, you just kind of brushed past something in there, though.
What's that?
And that's about he's an animal lover and a protector of the natural world.
Yeah, there we go, yes.
Because my memory of him, if I go into my mind, I'm like,
what am I looking at?
You're looking at bread.
Yeah, I'm looking.
I'll push that aside.
You know, like Sherlock.
No time for bread.
And he's wearing a big lion-faced vest.
Yes.
So what are they going to make, a bloody tofu, bloody kale vest, Mason?
He's going to have a bloody kale vest, mate.
I mean, there are...
Yeah, that's the absolutely insane part of this.
Yeah.
I don't know if...
Like, if he's a good guy and he's saving animals
and he's not fighting Spider-Man. What is this?
And what's the, where's the, I don't care about any other things, James.
How's he get the vest?
Is his father, you know what?
I bet it's his father's vest.
I think Russell Crowe plays his father.
I bet it's his father's vest and his father was a big game hunter and he killed the lion.
And then at the end, he's going to put the vest on and he's going to be like, this is
a reminder for me to love all the animals.
Oh God.
He's playing, His father's playing
Nikolai Craven. So I guess it's
his father, I guess. I'm assuming.
Well, I love movies
and I will never stop loving movies, even
movies which will be bad. Though, the
director of this, he did the movie
A Most Violent Year, which is apparently a very
good movie, which I haven't seen. But he also did
Triple Frontier, which is a movie I also
saw for Netflix,
and it was fine.
That's terrific.
Does that have a Brolin in it?
Maybe.
It's got Ben Affleck in it.
Terrific.
And the guy from The Predator.
He's in Wolverine with a robot hand.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oscar Isaac is in it, I think, as well.
It's a really good cast.
It's got that classic thing, which I love of Netflix.
There's a new one at the moment, which is Kevin Hart and Woody Harrelson.
It's like two great actors who are mates in a boring movie.
Terrific, yes.
The Rock and Ryan Reynolds.
The Rock and Kevin Hart.
The Rock and Kevin Hart.
You know, all of these movies.
The Rock and Ryan Reynolds again.
The Rock and Roll, Mason.
Is there a poster in that?
Two great mates, boring movie.
Two great actors, boring movie.
What is it, Mason?
It's something like that, isn't it?
Something like that, isn't it?
Yeah.
Weekly Planet posters go, I will sort it out when he eventually gets around to that.
Do you think it's, yeah, let's do, this is Marvel Corner, Mason.
Oh, yeah.
Is this new?
We always had Marvel Corner.
Two popular well-known actors who got a really big paycheck,
which then cut the budget of the entire project for this Netflix movie
that isn't very good.
You're going to have to narrow it down.
I'm just doing a poster.
I'm still workshopping it.
Okay, right.
There's something there, Mason.
Yeah, there sure is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Two famous guys, boring movie.
Something like that.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Both holding guns.
Yeah.
One's wearing a hat.
One guy, he's also in Marvel movies, and there's a poster,
and it's another Amazon show that he's on. and there's two people wearing baseball caps and one person not wearing a baseball cap
and it's got a really vague name yeah one of them sort of it's a chris pratt show that's the chris
pratt show whatever one of them's sort of like wearing a hawaiian shirt with a singlet underneath
you know yeah it's kind of like max payne 4 like that kind of look. One guy's all tactical. One guy's tactical. Hang on, I'll find it.
One might be Jamie Foxx.
Nice.
But not always.
It's called The Terminal List.
Yes, I haven't watched The Terminal List.
It's not out yet, I don't think.
Well, that's probably why I haven't watched it.
It's based on a soon-to-be-a-TV series.
It's a novel by Jack Carr.
If you like Vince Flynn, you'll love this.
I don't know.
It's what the poster says what what's
i don't know if oh my god this oh everything about this i love if you just google the terminal list
it comes up it's the first it's one of the first results it's i guess it's the cover for the book
yep but it's impossible to tell who wrote this or who's in it because they all have action movie
sounding names so the author's name is jack carr yeah so that's what the book and if you like vince flynn you'll love this but is vince flynn a
character or is he also an author yeah but then it says also is that like jack carr as in like
the act the the hero's name jack carr in the terminal no no jack carr i think is the author
okay i don't know what the character's name is. But then there's a poor quote.
It says, so powerful, so pulse-pounding, so well-written,
rarely do you read a debut novel this damn good,
and that's from Brad Thor.
And he's the number one New York Times bestselling author,
so they're all getting in on this.
That we know.
Yeah, of course, Brad Thor.
The only person on the book who it's clear who they are.
And this guy, he's sort of standing moodily.
He's got a big coat on.
He's running down some, well, they might be tram tracks.
Wow.
Right?
Maybe he's in Europe.
You want to keep him vague on the cover so then you can change the cover
for when the Chris Pratt show comes out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Based on the series that you didn't like very much.
Based on the series your dad recommended to you.
Brad Thorne's loving it.
Anyway, I could never write a book or make a show,
so I don't know why I'm making fun of these people.
Because we can.
Because we can.
All right, let's move it along.
It's Marvel Corner, Mason.
Oh, Jack Courtney's in it.
Oh, there you go.
There's a dog at the goddamn door.
This is Chaos Week, Mason.
I should have a bath.
Oh, that's why you don't stink as badly.
You still stink a bit.
I like to think that I still stink.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Thank you so much.
Again, she's running away.
Ollie, you've got to go out.
Ollie, I have to go away for the weekend.
So you have to record the podcast.
You're so fragrant, Ollie.
Bye, Ollie.
Look now, I'm a dog.
Oh, and you're covered in dog hair now because
it's a wet dog. It's a wet dog. You idiot,
Mason. Yeah, anyways,
let's get into it. This is by the LA Times.
Tarantino was asked
if he would work on a comic book movie, and we're talking
Marvel or DC, Mason, or Image
or Bloodshot or whatever. Sure. He would
go for like Eclipse Comics or something like that.
Do you think he'd do a Bloodshot movie? Yeah. Are we getting a Bloodshot or whatever. He would go for like Eclipse Comics or something like that. Do you think he'd do a Bloodshot movie?
Yeah.
Are we getting Bloodshot sequel?
No.
Two Bloodshots?
No.
Is this two Bloodshot?
Is that what it's called?
Yes, James.
Is this look?
Look at my eye.
Yeah, is that two Bloodshot?
Come on.
Yeah, so he said you have to be a hired hand to do those things.
I'm not a hired hand.
I'm not looking for a job.
Whoa.
Yeah. I mean, he was going to do Star Trek. Something about fate and I'm. I'm not looking for a job. Whoa. Yeah.
I mean, he was going to do Star Trek.
Something about fate and I'm not going to, you know, et cetera.
But, yeah, he was going to do Star Trek, but they wouldn't let him do Star Trek.
But then maybe he realized he wasn't a hired hand.
That's right, yeah.
He torpedoed that project.
He photon torpedoed that project.
He was talking about doing a.
He photon torpedoed that project.
He laser, he tasered it and he said, you've been tasered.
They don't have lasers or tasers.
You've been tasered by the Borg, he said.
No, no, they don't have lasers or tasers, James.
They have phasers.
They said, look out.
And sometimes disruptors.
Yeah?
Yeah.
They said, look out, Jean-Luc Shatner, you're getting tasered by the Borg.
Oh, he's doing so much.
And then Gandalf said, you're the one, Neo.
What do you think, Mason?
Damn.
What you just suggested was epic bacon just then.
I have to give you credit there.
Thank you.
I'm protesting you, catchphrase.
That's epic bacon.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
So spooky movies was last week.
Yeah, yeah.
It's not Halloween anymore.
Okay, that's a good point.
Yeah, yeah.
It's not the spookiest time of the year.
So, yeah, I think, you know, again, that's just like directors have to answer those questions
whenever they're doing anything.
That's true, yeah.
It's inescapable.
You're going to do a Marvel movie and there's two types of directors.
There's scumbags, work for hire.
Right.
Exactly.
I think there is like a – there are different levels
of Marvel and DC directors.
Yeah, I think so.
I wouldn't even say who have vision.
I would say ones who are allowed to bring in a certain vision.
To bring in some of their signature touches.
And some that are not.
What happens is they go for a meeting with Marvel
and a Marvel intern shows up and they have a clipboard
and they're like, we've compiled all your signature touches in your movies
and you can select three.
Yeah.
Also, we already filmed them.
That's right.
The three that we have selected.
Yeah, that's right.
Also, you're fired.
So, yeah. I feel like Ryan Coogler, it seems as if he's had a bit more freedom.
We'll talk about Black Panther 2 next week, but I'm hoping that that's good.
I also hope it's good.
We'll find out.
I don't want any movies to be bad.
I want some movies to be bad, Mason.
Give me an example of one movie.
Think of a movie?
Yeah.
Never.
Mason. Citizen Kane. I thought of a movie yeah never mason citizen
kane i thought of a movie very good i wish you were bad but it's a classic of the genre it's true
should we do trailers ahoy mason yes this dropped pretty early last week but thor love and thunder
got a brand new trailer and did it break the internet it's been so long who knows oh i think
it broke the internet very briefly for i think it broke the internet? It's been so long. Who knows? I think it broke the internet very briefly.
I think it broke the internet for a day.
Yeah.
But then.
A horrible tragedy happened.
Well, that also happened.
But like the news cycle is so like, you know, it's so rushed now that you can only really
break the internet for a day.
I think if you'd seen Thor's Bottom for real, I think it would have broken the internet.
Do you think we're going to be seeing Thor's Bottom in the movie for real?
Yes.
I think so.
I like to think so.
You know who would like to see Thor's bottom?
Who?
Rude Obi-Wan, no doubt.
I don't know about that.
You look at anyone's bottom, Mason.
You don't know the rich backstory of the character,
the motivations of Rude Obi-Wan Kenobi.
I guess I don't.
You don't know what taste he has and whose bottom he'd look at.
It's not about taste.
He just wants to see it.
Okay, right.
He doesn't care, Mason.
Anyways.
Anyways, should we talk about the DC universe?
Yes.
And the reshaping that's happening over there?
Yes.
So the rap also says via an unnamed source,
so this is in regards to Superman, it said...
We still don't know what to do with him.
No, they said they need to get a fucking Superman movie
off the ground
and if the plan is a shared universe,
a Cavill-led Superman needs to be the focal point.
The rappers also said that Zaslav has instructed his team
to kill all Superman projects in development and start over with Cavill.
Okay.
So at the moment there's a few.
We talked about it last week.
There might be a Val Zod movie happening.
Yeah, right.
Which JJ Abrams is producing with Ta-Nehisi Coates writing.
And there might be another one.
There's also like Supergirl is in The Flash.
Movie, that's correct.
And that might be getting a spin off.
But it seems as if.
Because for a while Supergirl was going to be the main super character in the DC Universe.
Is that right?
That was the plan.
That was the plan apparently. And That was the plan, apparently.
And I think she might be Zod's daughter,
because apparently Zod's in that movie as well, maybe.
I think Michael Shannon actually came back for it, I think.
That's what they've been saying.
But it's also Michael Shannon, like one of his red carpet appearances,
who's got the Hawaiian shirt on and the big sunglasses.
He doesn't know where he is.
He doesn't want to be there.
That's my favorite version of Michael Shannon.
Hey, Michael Shannon, could you just say,
I've come to destroy the earth again?
What?
Yeah, that's fine.
That's perfect.
The CD's just, hey, Zod, are you here to destroy the earth?
What?
No!
Hey, a man who's here to destroy the earth says what?
What?
Hey, a man who's here to destroy the earth says what?
What?
So I also read that apparently Cavill has been going to.
Just before we get into that, I just wanted to point out,
I didn't set the scene earlier.
You are in your pajamas.
Yeah, I am.
Picture that however you want, listeners.
I'm wearing flannel pants and a long sleeve pajama tee.
How am I looking?
And one of those big hats, the long sleeping cap.
Like an Ebenezer Scrooge. Yeah, it's got tips over the side.
It's got a little pom-pom on the end.
Little pom-pom on the end.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
You needed to stop the show to say this.
I did.
And Collings obviously is having to edit out the parts where you fall asleep and you go, me, me, me, me, me, me, me.
I keep going to snuff out my candle.
No!
It's time for news.
Anyways, let's talk about the Black Adam trailer.
Oh, yeah.
Is it true?
Now, you've probably heard this,
that the hierarchy of the DC universe is about to change.
You better believe it is.
He's the most powerful guy. He looks about to change. You better believe it is.
He's the most powerful guy.
He looks about as powerful as everybody else we've met.
Yeah.
So I saw the Black Adam trailer initially through I think maybe they bought a cameo from The Rock.
That's what it felt like because it was just him.
Oh, in his gym.
He's on his gym and he's on his phone and then he's like.
He's just going, isn't he?
Yeah.
It's so long.
He's just going and he's plugging his energy drink.
Zohar energy drink.
Zohar energy drink and then he's telling us.
I'm in my own paradise.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What up, fam?
Yeah.
That's a pretty good The Rock, right, that I just did then?
Hey, I'm The Rock.
If The Rock, the actual Rock who's in the room now,
could stop talking for a moment,
we'll get James to do his impression of The Rock.
Ah, can he?
Ah, sir.
Ah.
Dwayne, please, if you could let James speak for a moment.
Mason, pick up that money.
But the rock...
Bang!
No!
So, go on.
He punched me into space and I have to record the rest of this from space.
Isn't that just typical?
It is.
Anyway, he came in and he did this long speech and he plugged
his energy drink and then we saw the trailer and it looks all right, I guess.
I don't know.
I should be excited for this.
Why am I not?
I think we've reached a point of The Rock saturation where you either go,
man, I love The Rock or you're like, I've reached a point of The Rock saturation where you either go, man, I love The Rock,
or you're like, I'm kind of sick of The Rock.
And I think maybe we're on the side,
we're on the wrong side of this, I think,
where we're like, I'm kind of.
Hasn't this movie been coming out for like 40 years?
It's true, yes.
What is the nation that Black Adam is associated with
in the comic books is called Kandak.
I think it's called Iron Paradise now.
Mason, it's called Iron Paradise.
Thank you, Dwayne.
The DC Universe is about to – hang on.
Yeah, the hierarchy is about to change.
I had to read that because I couldn't remember what he said.
But he keeps saying it.
He keeps saying it.
I feel like he invented that phrase or it was pitched to him as like,
The Rock, you should do this because
the hierarchy of the DC Universe is going to change
and you'll be the most powerful character. Maybe it was
in like 2008. Then yeah,
maybe it could have been, but...
If I could kick it off with
what I think is the most important thing that
happened while we were away.
He's back with his one bit of news. This is my one bit of news.
I was hoping you'd forget.
Well, I didn't.
This one is, I think, most important and most relevant.
This happened just after we went on break,
and I honestly thought for a moment that it would be the wackiest thing that would happen.
Okay.
But I think it's worth noting.
I think it's important for us and our audience.
The TV series Pennyworth, which, of course,
is the story of the origin of Batman's butler.
It was renewed for a fourth season and it was also renamed
Pennyworth colon the origin of Batman's butler.
I thought it was a joke.
It is the thing.
It's a joke title.
James, we like to have fun on this podcast.
Yeah.
And a significant portion of that fun is imagining a person
whose job it is to name like large entertainment IPs but for some reason is so literal-minded
that they can only name them after literally what they're seeing
in front of them.
Or what they vaguely remember.
Yeah, oh, Keanu Reeves, he's in a computer, he does a big kick, whatever.
And what I think has happened, James, what I'm worried has happened
is that we've been doing that for so long and may I say so powerfully that this person has become real
and they've gotten a job at Warner Brothers and they're just like,
oh, the origin of Batman's a butler.
I think we got into Al G. Rhythm who runs Warner Brothers.
Yeah, maybe.
The villain from Space Jam.
Sure, sure, sure.
And he's absorbed a lot of our content, all content obviously,
but somehow this has filtered through.
He's one of those ai art generators that don't
actually generate any art they just steal bits from actual artists okay right and you just put
a prompt in us actual artists isn't that wild though yes like i understand that it's a batman
property obviously yeah so maybe you gotta put you can't call it like gotham knights pennyworth
because that's not yeah and i think the problem which they are probably having is that not enough
batman fans are watching it and too many fans of like downton abbey or what right
they're tuning because they see like oh it's a sad there's a sad pale british man and he's he's
off to the wars but actually he he wants to be sitting in the moors yeah sure i'm sitting by a
pond and being yeah swept and sad or whatever and they're like oh i'll watch this and then weird
stuff happens yeah like you'll meet i don don't know, what's he meeting?
No, I'll tell you who he is meeting because I saw.
Ra's al Ghul?
No, because the one thing that, look.
Port of Outs?
No, maybe, I don't know.
But the one thing that I did see based around this piece of news is there was one promo photo,
and I think it's four men, and they're in the British Army.
They're all wearing that traditional kind of, you know,
that brown sort of high-button jacket and the hat.
I love that for them.
Right?
And they're all normal except for one guy on the end.
In addition to his army uniform, he's wearing like bits of tank armour
and he's blue.
What?
And he's got like, just Google Pennyworth blue guy.
You won't be the first to do it and neither was i and he's got like
all these cables and tubes coming off him oh with like blue liquid well here's the thing so i looked
him up i googled pennyworth blue guy and i got to the pennyworth wiki which i think should be called
wiki worth or penny wiki but anyway he's just a guy he's got he's got like three seasons worth
of backstory to this guy. It just keeps going.
He's like a rival to Alfred.
He's not even that blue.
He's just a weird, but he's very British, isn't he?
He's got that like toothbrush mustache.
This is James Pufoy, isn't it?
It is James Pufoy, yeah.
Yeah.
But here's the thing.
So this character's got so much backstory, and I'm like,
when are they going to explain this?
When are they going to explain this?
He's in the SAS.
He's a rival to Alfred.
They become enemies, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And then I get like 20 paragraphs in and it's like,
there's a poison called Stormcloud and he eats the poison
and he doesn't die, he turns blue.
That's it.
That's it.
It's not Bane related.
I thought it'd be Mr Freeze related but it's not.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anyway. Well, this is their Fish Mooney, isn't it? This is an original villain. It's not Bane related. It's not. I thought it'd be Mr. Freeze related, but it's not. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway.
Well, this is their Fish Mooney, isn't it?
This is an original villain.
It's their OC, yeah.
Anyways, by all accounts, the show is fine.
Yeah, I've heard it's fine.
People are like, this is all right, actually.
Did you know it was three seasons?
It's the third season, apparently.
Well, the fourth is coming up, man.
What?
Yeah, this is the fourth one that's coming up.
Yeah, just pretty good.
Why is this still going, though? I don't know. We'll talk about all the stuff. Yeah, exactly is the fourth one that's coming up. Yeah, just pretty good. Why is this still going, though?
I don't know.
We'll talk about all the stuff.
Yeah, exactly.
But I, like.
Is it cheap?
Why couldn't you, like, what I'm really getting at, I think,
is that the title is bewildering.
Like, you couldn't think of it, like, Pennyworth from the Secret Files
of the Batman or something.
That would work.
Or, like, Pennyworth.
Origins.
Put in a Wayne, something, Pennyworth Wayne Estate or something. That would work. Or like Pennyworth. Origins. Put in a Wayne something.
Pennyworth Wayne estate or something.
Yeah, sure.
I don't know, Mason.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But the fact that they were like,
the origin of Batman's butler.
Anyways, if the Weekly Planet posters,
the wonderful Twitter and Instagram account,
could just put up a Pennyworth poster,
as is the origins of Batman's butler,
and just see if people notice.
Sure.
Or think, do they know it's real?
Thank you, Chris.
You don't have to do that also.
It's your account.
You can do whatever you want.
Wow.
Amazing stuff happening on Warner Brothers and I hope to circle back in this episode.
We will.
That's right.
For too long.
And that's been one bit of news.
Is this happening all the time now?
Maybe if people respond well to it.
Is this happening all the time now?
Maybe if people respond well to it.
If people tweet at you with videos of themselves going,
one bit of news.
I don't want that.
Maybe they're dressed as a Dracula.
They're dressed as a Dracula, like, newsboy.
They're Dracula, but they've got, like, a newsboy hat on and a mailbag.
Okay, when are they delivering papers, though?
Nighttime.
Okay.
You got me. The night news. I just thought it would be in the morning and I'd get you. No, no. Okay. When are they delivering papers though? Nighttime. Okay. You got me.
The night news.
I just thought it would be in the morning and I'd get you.
No.
Okay.
Maybe some of them will risk it if it's an overcast morning and they've forgotten to do it.
They'll bring an umbrella or whatever.
Bring an umbrella, yeah.
Great.
Anyway, sorry.
I was going to say, but in the movie they're just like,
I guess they were like, uh-oh, dog's here.
Zippy's in here, running about.
Zippy has a cone on her head.
Zippy, are you causing trouble in here?
Hello, Zippy.
Hello.
Oh, my God, Zippy.
James, podcast is cancelled.
I agree.
It's dog time, everybody.
It's dog time.
If you came here for your Batman review, we're not doing it.
We're not doing it.
We're not doing it.
We're patting the dog.
Zippy, come on.
Come on.
Now, Zippy, remember, I'm not the one kicking you out.
I want to be friends forever.
Come on.
Come on.
Ollie's here too.
Here you are, Ollie.
Here you are.
Oh, you've got to go too.
Ollie.
How do those dogs even get in here?
The door was open.
The dog time is over, everybody.
Sorry, everyone.
And sorry to me.
Feels like a long time coming, Mason.
Am I getting fired again?
Yeah, you're out.
No!
You're out and I'm in twice.
Okay, great.
You can have two opinions that are largely similar.
But you really have to be reaching for that second opinion.
Oh, yeah. It's just you just have to be reaching for that second opinion. Oh, yeah.
You just have your notes there and you're just like being a little thesaurus on the fly.
I thought this movie was grand.
Had a lot of spectacles.
Does that work?
Yeah.
Excellent.
I don't think it didn't even have that many spectacles.
The Penguin didn't even have little spectacles.
Well, it's early days Penguin.
Yeah, he probably doesn't have his signature spectacles. The Penguin didn't even have little spectacles. Well, it's early days Penguin. Yeah, he probably doesn't have his signature spectacles.
Exactly.
So it's going to very much make its money back and then some,
which is all the more impressive because there's a Batman movie every day.
But on top of that, it's very long.
So you get less cinema sessions going at any one time.
And you get more people storming out at the two-and-a-half-hour mark going,
I demand my money back.
And they're like, that's not our policy.
It's 15 minutes.
You get 15 minutes.
I mean, it just flew by because I enjoyed it so much,
but I still want my money back.
That's right.
It's me, a guy who exists.
And I derive all my enjoyment from the first two thirds of a movie
and then I demand my money back.
It's a great scheme.
You know there's got to be somebody out there who does that.
100%.
If you just make a big enough fuss, they'll give you the money back.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anyways, critics seem to like it on the whole, 85% Rotten Tomatoes.
Audiences seem to like it at 90%.
What do you think the story was?
Oh, no.
You're throwing me for a loop.
You familiar with this segment of the show?
Yes.
Where I ask you what the story was?
Very much so.
What do you think it was?
Well, I mean. I've given you wiggle room there because so. What you think it was? Well, I mean...
I've given you wiggle room there
because it's what you think it was.
Yeah, it's true.
You don't have to be right.
Well, I know.
I'm aware of the concept of this bit.
It's not a bit.
You're giving me even more room now.
That's right.
But I'm not actually using it to think.
Why would I?
It's funnier if I don't, in my opinion.
Not in anybody else's opinion, but in mine.
All right, so it's Batman.
Everybody knows Batman. It's Batman, but in mine. All right, so it's Batman. Everybody knows Batman.
It's Batman, but it's early days Batman.
It's two years into Batman being Batman.
He's like, geez, I love going around beating people up as Batman.
What are you doing?
I'm checking the Batman v Superman opening weekend.
Did it look like I was pretending to time?
It looks like you were being a stenographer there.
I'm like, has he been writing down what I think the story was every time for years?
Is he writing a book?
Oh, yeah.
Is this the new Leonard Moulton movie guide,
except it's just what I reckon the story was?
Okay, so it's Batman.
Yeah.
And he's a couple of years in, and he's like,
geez, I love beating people up as Batman.
It's pretty good, but I can't be everywhere.
No.
So that makes me sad because I tell my parents I beat up every crook.
Yeah, I did.
In Gotham City and it's, boy, but I'm going to,
there's all sorts of crime and there's a new guy and he's out there
and he's.
Would you say a new breed of criminal?
He's being a real Zodiac, this guy, and he's out there and he's there,
but I'm going to defend Gotham City,
which is the grimiest and greasiest city there is.
It's so greasy. It's so greasy.
It's so greasy.
For reference, Batman Vs.
Superman made $166 million.
That's a lot of money.
Gotham City in this movie, it is the world's largest
industrial hot plate that's never been cleaned.
Oh, you are not wrong.
It's just, you know, there's always a guy and he's like,
well, I'm not cleaning it because that's where all the flavour
is actually.
All the flavour is when you don't actually, because you clean it and take all the flavour away
and you're like, I think you're actually poisoning people, man.
No, no, no.
And they're like, nah, nah, nah.
And then it gets shut down.
So I know the cast as well have talked about Court of Owls
and how they love that narrative.
And there's definitely room to do something with that
because you can just be like, they were here all along.
We did the riddle.
That's why Gotham sucks and is so greasy.
We put the grease on everything.
I'm a guy with an owl mask.
Think about an owl.
What's the thing about an owl?
They're greasy, aren't they?
What?
No, they're greasy, yes.
You ever petted an owl and you're like, oh, this is greasy.
I think your hands are greasy.
I don't think it's the owl.
No, no, it's the owls.
This whole thing is based on greasy owls.
So if owls aren't greasy, then.
Why are you called quarter of owls and not the greasy owls? Oh, I've got to rethink a few things.
I'll give you this, you're very greasy.
Thank you.
Thank you, I am.
Zippy's back, folks.
The dog's back, everybody.
Yo, Zippy.
Yo, video.
Remember, I didn't put a cone on your head. I'm the blameless one. No, that was him, Zippy's back, folks. The dog's back, everybody. Yo, Zippy. Yo, video. Remember, I didn't put a cone on your head.
I'm the blameless one.
No, that was him, Zippy.
Don't listen to him.
No, it wasn't.
No, it was other people.
All right, Zippy, you're going to have to go out
because we're talking about the bat.
We are talking about the bat.
There's no room for you, Zippy.
You're cute, but you're not cute enough.
Oh, Zippy, no.
No, don't take Zippy away.
Oh, no, I wanted Zippy here forever.
Wow.
We also got, I don't know if you saw this, Mason,
the very first image of Joker 2 Double Trouble.
I didn't see that, no.
Have a look at comicbookmovie.com has it.
It's a good website.
You could go to Todd Phillips' Instagram where he posted it.
Oh, my God.
Mason.
Oh, my God.
There's so many places you could visit it at.
I'm going to look at Todd Phillips' Instagram.
One L, two Ls.
I don't know.
Ask him.
Two Ls.
You don't follow Todd Phillips?
No.
Why not?
I don't want to.
Okay.
Got a hangover fan?
It's a great point.
I should.
Okay, he's having a bit of a shave.
It's Joaquin Phoenix.
He's looking skinny as all heck. Yeah, he's looking skinny. He's having a big shave. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That a bit of a shave. It's Joaquin Phoenix. He's looking skinny as all heck.
Yeah, he's looking skinny.
He's having a big shave.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's pretty good.
Yeah.
Who do you think's giving him a big shave?
Well, I think he's probably in the asylum and whatever
and they have to because they can't give him a razor.
That's true.
Because he'll go Joker on them.
That's true.
Go all goblin mode on them.
Okay.
Don't you think?
Yes, James.
Just because it's been put in the Oxford English Dictionary or whatever doesn't mean you can
adopt the slang of the youth, okay?
I can do it.
If Elon Musk can say it, I can say it, Mason.
Don't you think?
Yeah.
Yeah?
Yeah, I guess.
I just can't picture you going goblin mode.
I'm not going goblin mode.
I know.
I'm acknowledging when something is going to go goblin mode or is in the process of going goblin mode.
Okay.
Do you understand?
Vaguely.
You wouldn't get it.
It's because I'm younger than you.
It's true.
By mere months.
God.
Mason.
And following it up with that, we've got Ryan Coogle,
who directed the first in this franchise, Creed 3.
Oh.
Also Michael B. Jordan, also in Black Panther and Black Panther Wakanda
Forever apparently, but Creed 3 is directed by Michael B. Jordan.
And apparently it's Rocky 3.
Creed 3, Rocky 3.
Very nice.
Which is fine because Rocky finished up his story.
And all the E's are 3s.
Yes, that's right.
All in Creed 3 and Rocky 3.
Wouldn't that be Creed 33?
It'd be Creed 333, I think.
Yeah, okay.
Unless we're saying, unless three, the word three is written as a word
and the E's in that are also threes.
Okay, that's fine.
So that makes for a very confusing marketing campaign.
Agreed, that's what we want.
Threed.
Threed, exactly.
We all like threed about all of that.
So Creed 3 though
kind of didn't expect it
yeah
how did Creed 2 end
he won
nice
and then Rocky went
and saw his son
nice
fucking
absolute amazing ending
loved it
Rocky was like
can I come in
I was my son
you look just like
a grandma
look at me
I'm Rocky
I'm actually
just between you and me
I'm the actor
Sylvester Stallone
just look at me
I'm real
tell me I'm real do I lookester Stallone. Just look at me. I'm real. Tell me I'm real.
Do I look real?
This is not me getting off on people telling me I'm real.
I just need to know.
I need to know.
Yes, Sylvester, I think you're real.
Guilty.
You're guilty.
You're coming with me.
What?
Get in the car.
Oh, I like this guy.
Stallone confused by reality.
He's making his own reality TV show but he doesn't understand reality.
And he's also Judge Dredd.
Is his son still Milo Ventimiglia in that movie?
Okay, great.
Love him.
This is a stupid show.
Disagree.
This is an anchor of Samus E. James.
That's what this show is.
But I do know this.
Go on.
The Walking Dead season finale also starts in February.
Oh.
So is this a series finale?
This is it?
Yeah, but there's like Rick spin-offs and I don't know.
And then I think it's the other one.
There's more than one Rick spin-off.
Is Fear the Walking Dead going?
Look, if you want a really good zombie show, Black Christmas,
Black Summer, what's it called?
Black Summer, yeah.
Yeah, incredible.
Two seasons, harrowing, they just kill everybody you like.
Just like it's nuts.
It's fucking insane and it's very good.
James, if you want a good zombie series.
I don't.
Everybody's on their phones out there. Wow.
Yeah. Jeez. Yeah. Have you tweeted
this? I should, shouldn't I? You could do
a little cartoon. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, you know, you're standing in front of a tree
or the moon and you
should be looking like that. I'm not like, hey everyone, look at
the moon. But everybody's watching moonfall.
It's rapidly receding for some reason.
But everybody's watching moonfall on theireding for some reason but everybody's watching
moonfall on their phones and that makes you think doesn't it yeah it does yeah yeah yeah wow yeah
what a world it's 2020 and a new t-shirt i don't know some of the clothes my nice clothes i don't
wear normally when you see me because i have kids yeah and they roll me in dirt like twice a day
so i went out today that's why you're like that's a clean look at these fucking shoes mate look how
crisp these are oh those are crisp yeah yeah i've seen those before yeah they were crisp then and
they're crisp now that's incredible does is it that one of your kids like crouches behind you
and the other one like clips you in the chest in the front and drops you onto the ground but it's
not the ones you think no it's the infant that clips you in the chest in the front and drops you onto the ground. But it's not the ones you'd think.
No.
It's the infant that clips you in the air.
Yeah.
We need someone sturdy to fall on.
Yeah, that's true.
I'd crush my baby.
Yeah, that's true.
You know what I didn't anticipate in being a family?
They just roll you in dirt.
You know what I did?
They're trying to be.
They've dug you a grave out there.
They're trying to put you in a grave.
Hey, Dad, we dug you two graves, one for you and then a second one for you because we're trying to put you in a grave. Hey, Dad, we dug you two graves. One for you, and
then a second one for you, because we're going to cut you in half.
And you're like, that's
not the way it goes. And then they're like,
okay, boomer.
Anyways, what I didn't anticipate
in being a parent is how often
I would say at least once a day
that one of your kids steps on your balls.
Like, it happens so much. You've definitely mentioned
the ball stepping before. To you or?
I don't know.
Maybe on this.
It's probably a great tweet of that.
Yeah.
But good stuff.
And this is from Ben.
It says,
Random thought,
but I feel like it's overlooked that Morbius was in the PS2,
PSP, Wii,
and DS version of the tie-in game for Spider-Man 3 in 2007.
That's how I was introduced to the character,
plus whoever Shriek is.
I know Shriek.
Hashtag Weekly Planet Pod.
That big green guy.
Yeah, something like that.
He's an all-star, that guy.
I was a big Spider-Man 2 fan of the video game, obviously,
but I never played 3 because the reviews weren't great.
And it was in that era where I didn't have a PS3
and it was on PS2 but the PS2 version isn't as good
and the reviews weren't great all around and whatever.
So I never played that game.
But, yeah, they would do a thing where, like,
they'd throw in a bunch of villains that you wouldn't see
in the actual movies.
Like, there's shockers and a bunch of stuff.
Yes, that's true, yeah.
And you'd get a, like, they'd often get, like,
you'd either get classic look or you'd be like,
oh, this is a new version for this reality.
Exactly.
Like, how have they given us a new artistic kind of vibe?
Let me just bring that up.
Morbius Spider-Man 3 game.
Here we go.
How's he looking?
But that's what I like about the Spider-Man PS4 game.
It's like they were like, okay, here's some of the,
many of the classic villains, but how are they going to look
in this universe?
Yeah.
Pretty cool.
There you go.
Yeah, they went pretty classic with him.
Okay, yep.
Is that chest hair or a gunshot?
I think it's a gun. I think it's blood. Wow. That's great stuff. Yeah, they went pretty classic with him. Is that chest hair or a gunshot? I think it's a gun.
I think it's blood.
Wow.
That's great stuff.
Yeah.
Really cool.
Well, yeah, cool.
All right, Morbius.
That's a, I mean, you probably should just keep those memories
and those are all the memories you need of that character.
Memories.
Wow.
Yeah.
Maybe Morbius, maybe Mothbius can live on in your heart.
No.
I'm cancelling Mothbius officially.
Is this a veto?
Yes.
Is this a veto on this long-running
riff? Yes. Alright, so you've got, how many
do you have left then? I can't remember. One or none.
But it was worth it. I think it's one. Alright.
Okay, folks, Monthbius is over forever.
It's never coming back.
I can't bring it
back? No, I think we'd have to
do like a fresh, we'd have to fresh take
on it. Fresh take, okay. Wow.
Well, if there's one thing that Morbius cannot do is a fresh take.
Absolutely not.
That's done.
Yeah.
Okay.
What's next?
So Sonic, I watched Sonic the Hedgehog 2 with my son this week.
Yes.
You know, it was all right.
Was it better or worse than the last one or the same?
The same?
Well, it was better in the sense that there's more like Sonic stuff.
Okay.
It's more like focused on Sonic and him and Tails working together
and Knuckles shows up and whatever.
My son loved it.
You know, it's got robots, like giant robots and adventure and speed
and fighting and fun and danger and whatever.
But it's all very safe.
Not too much fighting.
No, not too much fighting.
Knuckles doesn't turn Sonic into a bloody pirate.
No.
With his famous signature echidna sandwiches.
They make pretty much Knuckles.
He's got his echidna sandwiches. Thanks. Shut up. Hey, shut up. He gives Sonic an echidna sandwiches. They make pretty much knuckles. He's got his echidna sandwiches.
Thanks.
Shut up.
Hey, shut up.
He gives Sonic an echidna sandwich.
Shut up.
I'm vetoing echidna sandwich.
That might be your last one, James.
It is, yes.
Oh, my God.
Worth it.
And it's only April.
Wow.
Could I earn another one?
Maybe.
I don't know.
We'd have to figure out a system, I guess.
So people don't know I've got two vetoes for the year to veto a riff.
No, you had three.
Oh, yeah, three.
The first one I can't remember.
Yeah, but then the second one was mine.
Now the third one is a kid in a sandwich.
And I'm done.
I'm shutting it down.
That's me for the year.
God, I'm going to regret that.
You sure are.
That is fun.
All right, Mason, let's move it along.
Okay.
Top Gun Maverick has thundered into cinemas, Mason,
much like the movie Thundercats, which is not out yet.
They're making that.
Adam Wingard is making a Thundercats live action movie.
But what you're saying is that when that movie is finally released,
the fervour will be similar to the release of Top Gun Maverick.
Fervour, that's good.
Good word, right?
The fervour may be for you because you'll be so attracted
to everybody in that.
Maybe, yeah.
No, I don't think so.
Okay.
No.
It's interesting that you think that.
But listen, Top Gun Maverick.
I mean, you're the one who brought it up.
You're the one for whom Thundercats is top of mind.
That's interesting.
No, no, I just wanted to make you happy by bringing up a thing
that you're looking forward to.
Wow.
The air action is spectacular, but it's not even really about that.
It's about, like we said, it's about getting old and making amends for the mistakes of
your past and passing along your knowledge to the next generation and also yourself.
And making sure you're the only one left alive from the previous movie.
Gargum was in this.
Yes.
Yeah.
So he returns as Iceman at first in text form.
Admiral Iceman?
Yes.
That's right, Iced Man.
I didn't misspeak.
I would never correct you.
Admiral Iced Coffee Man.
But we end up getting a scene.
Admiral Iced Vovo Man.
We end up getting a scene between Iced Man and Maverick because he's typing it out because like Val Kilmer in real life, he's had throat cancer.
Tracheotomies.
Yes.
I don't know whether he can speak at all.
Well, he does in this movie but I don't know whether that was
some kind of enhancement because I also saw that they're trying
to recreate his voice using archival footage and recordings
so I don't know where they were at by the time they filmed this
like three years ago.
But I thought it was a very touching scene.
I thought so too.
Yeah. where they were at by the time they filmed this like three years ago. But I thought it was a very touching scene. I thought so too.
Yeah.
Not only the two iconic characters but also two iconic actors.
And they're just blokes.
They're like, we're blokes.
Let's hug.
I'm wearing a scarf.
That's a thing a bloke can do.
A bloke can wear a scarf.
Yeah, you can drive a motorcycle and I can wear a scarf.
I'm Iced Man.
Yeah.
I'm Admiral Iced Man.
Icedeman. Iceman. So the original movie was responsible for a 500% increase
in Navy recruitment at the time.
And I think this movie.
And this one, ISIS recruitment.
What?
Yeah.
Because of Iceman.
Yes.
No Iceman.
He wasn't in ISIS though.
People aren't hearing correctly because of the, you know,
how all the. They thought Tom Cruise went to visit his old friend from ISIS.
That's correct.
Oh, no.
Yes.
Did you watch the first movie before you see this?
You know.
But even then, maybe you think you joined ISIS in between movies.
Afterwards, yes.
Oh, God.
It's bad for everyone.
That's why the audio in theatres is so bad these days, you know.
And they put the recruiting stations outside the cinemas.
For ISIS?
Yes.
Oh, no.
It's not technically illegal.
It isn't?
No.
I think that would be illegal.
I think that would be shut down.
It says not a terrorist organisation on the booth.
Oh, okay.
It's like saying in a video game.
That's right.
It's like, hey, do you want to, the booth says,
hey, do you want to join ISIS in Minecraft?
So.
But on Navy recruitment, so this was all done
through the Pentagon's cooperation and it says,
via them they said, someone from there said,
it does not have to be a love letter to the military,
which it is anyway, but it needs to uphold the integrity
of the military and it certainly. He apologised. to uphold the integrity of the military.
And it certainly-
He apologised.
I was apologising to the military, basically.
Well, that's very noble of you, actually.
But I don't think this works as a recruitment tool in the same way
that the original one does because the world is vastly different
and the information that you can receive about other countries
in the world and why wars are fought and why the military industrial complex exists, it kind of-
Freedom.
Freedom.
But it kind of will put a damper on a lot of that.
And I think people are also more realistic about I can't just go and fly a plane.
Yeah.
There's a lot of steps between joining up and then getting to be one of the very few
people who get to be a Top Gun.
But the opening crawl does say, you know,
and then it just says, remember, everyone gets to be a Top Gun.
Sign up to our ISIS recruitment.
Oh, no!
Get ready, everybody, to hold your hands dominantly in front of yourself
to hold back an aggressive dinosaur multiple times
because we're going to talk about right now Jurassic World Dominion.
But again, it's like, oh, Blue's got a kid.
Blue's kid's been kidnapped.
Again, like, I don't give a fuck about this fucking horrible thing that you made.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a horrible monster.
It's interesting because Blue, again, is a somewhat trained velociraptor.
Somewhat.
And we've also reached the point that Biosyn, the new company,
have built.
They've implanted all the dinosaurs with a little chip
so they can make the vast majority of them just do whatever.
So Blue is obsolete now.
Yes. Which is, I mean, it makes you
think, doesn't it? A lot of this made
me think, actually. But again, it's a
barely controlled monster. It's like if
you could train an alligator.
If you let your guard down for a second, it's still
like you could raise an alligator from
Still like grab a piece of chicken out of your hand.
Yeah, you could raise it from infancy and like
you know, see it every day and give it little pats or whatever.
But if you turn your back for a second, it's going to eat you
because that's what it does and that's the same with this.
To be fair, have you seen stories about the guy who saved the alligator
and then he swam with the alligator every day?
Did it eat him?
Not yet.
It's going to eat him.
If you're a listening guy who swims with the alligators,
if you're putting on the Weekly Planet podcast while you swim
with the alligators, first of all, get those out of your ears.
Yeah, they're not waterproof.
Yeah, and secondly, it's going to look out.
Yeah.
You know?
So put the chicken in front of me.
I'm going to eat the chicken.
I'm not going to eat you.
I'm going to eat the chicken.
You just put it down and you turn around and I'll be eating the chicken.
You see me eating the chicken sometimes.
You don't need to look at me eating the chicken.
You can just turn around, mate.
Bang!
I shot you.
Who was that?
I don't know.
They shot each other.
Oh, no.
But anyway, so the T-Rex makes the Jurassic Park logo
and that's good at one point.
I did see that.
That was a bit of fun.
A bit of fun.
You know, there was that.
There was the Dodgson is killed by the compies in the similar manner
that Ned was killed.
No, no, the officer.
Is that what they are?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
As if.
You think you're getting away?
Pick up the shaving cream can, mate.
You pick it up.
I'm going to spit in your eyes.
Don't worry about it, mate.
And if I did, it's just regular spit.
I won't use my poison spit.
You're not going to talk to the cops, are you, mate?
Look up anti-dono.
Ben Mendelsohn, yeah.
It'd be good.
It had a nice-looking ending and I think it also had a very nice-looking start.
There's a moment, which is in the trailer,
where some fishermen, they're crab fishing or something like that
and a big sea-based dinosaur
jumps up and eats the thing and tips the ship underwater.
I think that was good looking.
Put your big crab net into the water.
I'm not going to eat it, mate.
I'm not going to eat it.
Just put it in here and look away.
You haven't been talking to the fishing and gaming wildlife authorities,
have you, mate?
Sorry, go on.
That's all I had. It was a good looking start and a? Sorry, go on. That's all I had.
It was a good-looking start and a good-looking end.
Yes, that's right.
That's how I plan to live my life, ugly in the middle.
Yeah, nice.
But I'm just going to bookend it.
Just a beautiful silver fox at the end.
And a beautiful silver fox when you were born.
Mason, we're bloody halfway through Phase 4,
whether you like it or not.
Yes.
What do you think of that?
I love it. Well, because I sent a graphic over to you. This or not. Yes. What do you think of that? I love it.
Well, because I sent a graphic over to you.
This is via IGN.
That's true.
Should I explain a graphic?
You could explain a graphic.
You could be so bold.
It's in my phone, but my son, every now and then,
he grabs my phone and takes 400 photos on it.
Well, I've got it here right now.
Okay.
James, I'll describe it to you.
Yep.
There's an image of Thor.
Yep.
He's raising a weapon aloft.
I assume it's Stormbreaker. It is, mate. His mystical axe. But you can't see the top of it, so it could be really Yep. There's an image of Thor. Yep. He's raising a weapon aloft. I assume it's Stormbreaker.
It is, mate.
His mystical axe.
But you can't see the top of it, so it could be really anything.
It could just be a stick.
It could be an oar.
Yep.
It could be an oar, yeah.
Maybe they're on a boat or something.
Yep.
And then next to him and a little bit below is Jane Foster Thor.
None of this is the relevant information.
I don't know.
I don't know, James.
And then there's the IGN logo in the top right corner.
I think that's their logo. And then there's the IGN logo in the top right corner. I think that's their logo.
And then there's a title that says MCU Runtimes by Phase.
You're forgetting that there's a moon or planet behind them.
There is some kind of moon or planet, isn't there?
Yeah, that is good stuff.
Anyways.
And I think they're standing on some rocks, like a rocky outcropping.
It doesn't look like they're flying or floating.
No, unless the rock is also flying or floating, possibly through space.
Gotcha, good, good.
Anyway, it says Phase 1, six films, 12.4 hours.
Phase two, six films, 12.7 hours.
Phase three, 11 films, 24.9 hours.
That's interesting because the first two phases are a bit
over 12 hours each, right?
And then phase three with 11 films, that's double that.
That's an increase.
Yeah.
That's an increase.
Phase four, so far, six films, seven shows, 49.5 hours.
And that particular, then there's like a graphic there.
Yeah.
And that, that, that, that.
It's double the length.
It's double the length, yes.
And we are about halfway, maybe a tiny bit over as of so far.
I thought we were right towards the end.
I thought we were entering a new phase, Mason, but it turns out.
All the stuff that has been announced thus far,
all the stuff that was on that, you know, we've got armor wars
and we've got all that, is that still phase four?
Yeah.
Okay, great.
Yeah, apparently.
We'll talk about that, some upcoming stuff as well.
So what we're going to do, we're going to go through each of these
in kind of the order that they were released.
We're going to determine, I guess, a couple of things, Mason,
whatever we think of that particular thing,
how it's maybe held up since it came out.
Yes.
And what maybe in the wider scheme of things does this mean anything?
Yeah.
Can we connect to these dots and strings?
Can we connect them with an overarching plot?
We could connect them with previous movies and be like,
that's a character from a previous movie.
Yeah, bro.
Easy done.
Easy done it. Easy done it.
Easy done it, yeah.
The next up we've got, yeah, straight after we talked about this,
is Eternals.
I didn't like it.
I didn't like it either.
But what it did lead to was, and this question has been raised,
I believe, on Twitter a bunch of times,
it left us with an eternal, no, a celestial rather,
just sticking out of the earth.
Yes.
And a lot of people on Twitter have said,
why has nobody mentioned this?
Yeah.
Because of everything else.
That's why.
Yeah, everything else is going on.
Everybody else is tired.
Yeah.
You know, we often don't, in my daily life,
I don't mention monkey pox a lot.
That's true.
I've got other stuff going on.
But I know it's there.
You remember when there was that big swirling ocean fire?
Yeah, I remember the ocean fire, yeah.
I saw that once and I went, I don't give a shit.
Next thing.
Yeah, same.
It could be still going.
I don't know.
Yeah, that's right.
It could be expanding rapidly.
Yeah.
Don't care.
It could be ringing your doorbell right now.
Hello, it's the expanding ocean fire.
I'm swirling on fire.
Yeah. I'm also...
Do you have your considered upgrading your internet plan?
Exactly.
It's just a terrible energy company.
So there you go, Mason.
And also, whenever I see a thing online, I'm like,
is this marketing?
Is this just marketing?
Oh, whenever there's another horrible thing.
Okay.
What other lasting elements did Eternals bring to?
Well, they also got dragged out into the other side of the universe
by something for some reason.
That's true.
They did.
So is that like are they doing and they also introduced,
what's his name, One Direction?
Kingo.
Yes, they introduced Kingo.
What's his name, One Direction?
Eros.
Wait, maybe it's Eros?
His name is Eros, but his name is also in real life.
Harry Styles.
Brendan Chapley.
Yes.
And I think I'm going to put in Harry Styles
because that's going to be important.
Okay, great.
Because you don't cast him for no reason.
That's true.
Is that character's name Eros or is it something else?
Yeah, he's his god of love.
He's Thanos' brother.
Yeah, right.
But it doesn't matter.
Star Fox, I think they call him also.
Star Fox, yes, you're right.
But they probably won't call him Star Fox
because of the Nintendo character.
No, you can call him Star Fox. Terrific. Because his name is called Star Wing, so we you're right. But they probably won't call him Star Fox because of the Nintendo character. No, you can call him Star Fox because in Australia it's called Star Wing,
so we won't be confused.
They should call him Star Fox but not the Nintendo character in the movie.
Yes.
Also, why won't they make another Star Fox game?
Right.
What's happening?
Please, someone fix that at Nintendo.
Cool.
So Eternals, I guess the idea of Eternals and Celestials
and all of that is something.
Yes.
If anything, it might tie in with Guardians 3.
Yeah, okay.
Probably not, though.
Since they were introduced in a Guardians movie, I guess.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're always poking around the universe making big eggs.
That's true.
Why are they always making big eggs?
Stop doing that.
You need the love and the mind, the unimind, to make a big egg hatch.
That's right. You can't make a unimind without make a big egg hatch. That's right.
You can't make a unimind without breaking a few eggs.
But then because of the snap, they couldn't,
the egg didn't hatch because there wasn't enough people.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But then all the people came back and then the egg was like.
It was egg hatching time.
That's right.
You're about to get egg, bitch.
And then they went, let's use all our powers together.
That's good.
Stop this from happening.
Perfect teamwork.
I haven't seen it even once.
No, neither have I.
Wait, one more thing.
Yes.
And something.
Blade.
Yeah, we talked about this.
I don't think the only thing that will ever come back from this is Blade,
probably.
Oh, yeah, Blade.
Yeah.
Oh, they said laid.
Like it's a big egg. Like an egg. No. Blade and maybe the Black yeah, Blade. Yeah. Oh, they said laid. Like it's a big egg.
Like an egg.
No.
Blade and maybe the Black Knight but probably not.
Probably together, right?
I suspect that the post-battle scene at the end of Eternals
where Cersei I think gets abducted by one of the Celestials
and like you will face judgment on the other side of the universe
or whatever.
I don't think that's ever going to be resolved.
I think so.
I think they'll, even in passing.
Oh, in passing it might.
Do you think we won't see it? I reckon in Secret Wars
like when
Secret Wars is just
endgame but times a hundred and there's just
thousands of portals opening up for the
big battle, I think there'll be one
where one of the portals open and Arishem is there just waving and he's like, sorry for the big battle. I think there'll be one where one of the portals open
and Arishem is there just waving and he's like,
sorry for the misunderstanding.
Not guilty.
Not guilty.
Bye-bye.
Don't be a stranger, Cersei.
And Cersei comes out and she's like, I'm going to fight.
Yeah.
Good movie.
Yeah.
I didn't like it.
No.
Also, it's that thing of like, don't get involved.
Why didn't you stop Thanos? And I know we've talked about this because we have actually both like it. No. Also, it's that thing of like, don't get involved. Why didn't you stop Thanos?
And I know we've talked about this because we have actually both seen it.
And they're like, we were told not to get involved.
But he was going to snap half the Earth away.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's important to the Celestials.
They need that to patch the big egg.
That's true.
The Earth's an egg mason.
And look, I appreciate.
The Earth's an egg mason.
Do you think the Earth being an egg is going to come back?
No, never.
Literally never.
Because we don't even. Can we at least fly over and be like what's that because we don't have that time the earth was
an egg i guess the the question is which character would make a quip about it being an egg because
tony stark's dead yeah and he can't be like boy that's the earth's an egg this is an egg? Is this an egg? I'm totally stuck. Is this an egg? You believe this?
He's
run out of quips.
There's got to be a point, I think, where societally
the Marvel Universe is run out of quips.
And people are just like, Jesus,
Jesus!
Jesus Christ! Maybe they'll answer it in a
What If episode.
They'll just be like, listen, hey, normally these
are like What If stories, but this is
just the second Eternals movie.
Yeah, right.
It's in the regular universe.
And it's going to be split with another.
And it's Howl at the Duck too.
You've got ten minutes and then Howl at the Duck too, yeah.
Look, again, look, I appreciate that they took a shot on a direct view.
Completely agree.
It was going to give it a different visual style.
It's a shame that the visual style was uninteresting.
I mean, they did a lot of real location stuff.
I guess.
They're always in a field or whatever.
Salma Hayek's always leaning against a fence in a cowboy hat being like,
humanity's pretty good actually, and the earth's an egg.
It's true.
It's true.
Yeah.
Icarus, you flew too close to the sun and the world's an egg.
It did.
Because it's funny because the story of Icarus,
and we've talked about this, of the guy flying too close to the sun
and whatever, that's within the thing.
It's like it's in the universe.
Yeah.
And he's Icarus.
You'd think he wouldn't.
And then he doesn't.
Yeah.
He's supposed to be dead also.
Oh, okay. Was he a guy that was right? No. Yep. Yeah. He's supposed to be dead also. Ah, okay.
Was he a guy that was right?
No.
No.
Because he wanted to end all life on Earth, I think.
With the egg.
With the egg, yes.
Egg.
Look, but again, I think it was probably a mistake to go with we're going to do kind
of like sort of minimalist 2001 visuals for this particular thing
when previously we'd seen Marvel cosmic stuff
and it's technicolor and amazing and incredible
and that sort of stuff to go with,
actually space is very cold and quiet
and we fly around in a big black brick
and the Earth's an egg, you know?
If the Earth's an egg,
you can't also fly around in a big black brick.
I don't think it works.
Okay, I get what you're saying.
But that's all I have for that.
Okay.
It's like a big boring stone countertop.
Yeah.
Oh, it really is, yeah.
You go to somebody's house and you're like,
you don't have kids, do you?
Because you've got this dumb thing.
That's right.
It's all angles for your kid to crack their head on.
That's right.
And expensive, which you could do if you don't have kids.
Well, exactly.
Otherwise your kid's just going to get a fork and just chip into it.
They're bored one day and you're not there,
so they're just chipping out of your countertop.
The only real other legacy this movie has.
Legacy.
The only legacy this movie has left is that in Ms. Marvel
there is a moment where Ms. Marvel and one of her boys
she's got a crush on or has a crush on her,
they have a discussion about Bollywood movies
and they have a disagreement over which Kingo they like the most.
One of them likes modern-day Kingo and the other one likes Kingo.
I don't even remember how I missed that.
I don't know.
You probably weren't paying attention.
I wasn't.
Your kid was probably attacking your countertop and you're like,
get out of it.
But, yeah, and one of them likes Kingo's grandfather or whatever.
Oh, okay.
Unbeknownst to them, Kingo and Kingo's grandfather are the same, Kingo.
Yes, absolutely.
I guess also, don't we see those guys, they're in Thor, Love and Thunder,
there's a couple of those.
Like when they fly through the window, a couple of them like look around.
What, a couple of Eternals?
Yeah, no, not Eternals.
A couple of Celestials.
Yeah, the Celestials.
But the Celestials were in Guardians.
You're right.
Yeah, absolutely right.
Anyway. Anyway, thumbs Celestials. But the Celestials were in Guardians of the Galaxy. You're right. Yeah, absolutely right. Anyway.
Anyway, thumbs down.
Four thumbs down.
Yeah, but that idea that you can go into any universe,
I think that's awesome.
I thought about Deadpool 3, right?
I've been thinking about this.
Oh, yeah.
And I think.
Just had some idle time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think they won't do this and it's already decided upon.
What if they brought back Hugh Jackman?
Go on. But Deadpool just grabs Hugh Jackman? Go on.
But Deadpool just grabs Hugh Jackman, the actor.
Love it.
And takes him on his adventures.
Yes.
And he tries to get him to do like Wolverine things.
And he's just like, I'm Hugh Jackman, the actor.
What if.
Hugh Jackman.
What if they went through various parallel universes and they collected all the various
characters Hugh Jackman has played over a span of years.
Yes.
They got him from Paperback Hero.
Yep.
They got him from Les Miserables, if in fact he's in that.
He is, yes.
They get him from The Greatest Showman.
The Greatest Showman, they get him from that.
They get him from the movie Swordfish.
They get him from Hugh Jackman thinks about his memories somewhat.
They get him.
It's a team of Hugh Jackmans.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then Wolverine shows up, the new guy playing Wolverine,
just kills them all.
Yeah, sure, absolutely fine. What do you think about that, though, really? Yeah. Yeah. And then Wolverine shows up. The new guy playing Wolverine just kills them all. Yeah.
Sure.
Absolutely fine.
What do you think about that, though?
Really?
Because I know Hugh Jackman's like, I don't want to be Wolverine again.
What if they're like, you're not?
That'd be funny.
I would love that.
Yeah.
And I think also, would it be too much if they just kept him the entire movie?
That he just hung around the entire time? Oh, no.
I would love that.
Deadpool with Hugh Jackman as sidekick.
Yeah.
That would be great.
Yeah.
Cool. All right. Anyway, they won't do it, but it as sidekick. Yeah, that would be great. Yeah. Cool.
All right.
Anyway, they won't do it, but it would be cool.
Yeah, we can imagine it in our imagination.
Exactly.
And we can pitch it to Hugh Jackman if we ever meet him.
You know, he met Fred Savage or whatever.
It's like that shit, you know, Deadpool, when he met Fred Savage.
Oh, yeah, that's true.
It's just like that shit.
It's just like that goddamn shit, Mason.
Next up, we're in 2022 now, which is actually the year we're in now.
That's right.
Look around, Mason.
That's where we are.
Whoa, this is awful.
Yeah.
We thought it was going to be better, but it sucks just as much as the previous year.
I mean, don't let this drab room fool you, Mason.
Oh, yeah, that's true, yeah.
But beyond these walls, it is awful, yes.
Yeah, see you.
My goodness, do you hear that?
No.
Do you know what it's known for?
Do you hear that when I said that? I heard, but what was the thing? Like, I did hear what you hear that? No. Do you know what it's known for? Do you hear that when I said that?
I heard, but what was the thing?
Like I did hear what you said then,
but I am a little bit concerned about the thing.
There wasn't anything prior to that.
I was trying to riff and then you'd riff
and then we'd go into the thing, but you just shot me down.
So your riff prompt was name anything.
Name any noise.
That's what they do with like, you know,
the improv group might be like, give me a word, give me a name,
give me a place.
James, you know how that's not how my brain works.
My brain doesn't work at all.
But like, you know, when somebody goes, name a song, any song,
and you're like, oh, no, I can't.
My brain always goes blur song too because it's got song in the title.
Oh, that's good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anyway, did you hear that?
because it's got song in the title. Oh, that's good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anyway, did you hear that?
Yes, it was the sound of the upcoming segment
as it approaches on a big train.
Sure.
We're in a tunnel and it approaches on,
it's on like an old-timey like steam train
and it's on like a little carriage,
like an open-air carriage that's in a box.
Yeah, okay, good.
We open it up.
And what is it? Wow. It's the theme to what we read and what we're going to read. Yeah, that's right. I like an open-air carriage that's in a box. Yeah, okay. We open it up. And what is it?
Wow.
It's the theme to what we read and what we're going to read.
Yeah, that's right.
I mean, it's on mute, but no, it won't be.
I had plenty of time to unmute that.
I'm doing the theme.
What are we reading today?
Mason.
Yes.
You didn't notice that I didn't do a thing.
What didn't you?
You didn't say Westworld.
No, because, of course, I was saying Westworld for maybe three years.
Yeah.
Because I was waiting for the new season of Westworld to drop.
No, you were originally doing it because you were waiting
for the new season of Westworld to drop,
but then people were like, he should stop saying that thing.
And then out of spite, you kept doing it for several years longer
than was absolutely necessary.
So, yeah, Mason, this is the segment of the show
where we talk about what we're reading or what we're going to read
or watch or listen to or whatever,
but it's normally about things we've already watched or read or listened to.
What are you contributing this week, Mason?
I'm finally contributing.
This week I watched a few episodes of Reacher,
the new Amazon Prime Jack Reacher TV series,
following up from the successful Jack Reacher Tom Cruise movies
where Tom Cruise plays an enormous man.
Yep.
Is this good?
I think it's pretty solid.
I'm like halfway through.
What's it on, Stan?
It's on Amazon Prime.
Amazon Prime.
Yeah, but, you know.
I think it is money.
He was in the armed forces in some capacity.
Cockfighting.
Yeah.
He bets on cockfighting.
He knows all the best places to go.
He doesn't just bet.
He's involved.
Oh, he's right.
Right.
No, he has an army pension or something, and he gets wide to a Western Union,
so he just goes to a Western Union.
I bet he likes physical cash.
Yeah, he's all about cash.
He's one of those guys, yeah.
God damn.
That's good stuff. He's a man that you, yeah. God damn. That's good stuff.
He's a man that you don't often see anymore, do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like men today.
Yeah.
Men today, Mason.
Yeah, he goes real.
Hard men create hard, soft, they're hard times.
Soft-boiled eggs create soft, hard men.
Soft men create hard-type men, Soft men create hard type men.
And hard men have scrambled times.
Man, I would love some scramble legs right now.
Because you're so hot.
Yeah, they also scramble legs. You feel me with that expression though?
Yeah.
Yep.
It's really good.
Now I feel safe bringing this up because we're well out of the news segment.
And if you're out of the news segment, you can't add a bit of news later.
Oh, no.
You're going to veto something?
No, no, Mason. You didn't put in your one bit of news later. Oh, no. Officially. You're going to veto something? No, no, Mason.
You didn't put in your one bit of news this week.
Yeah, I knew I didn't.
Which means I get – how many do I need to get a veto back?
Three or five or something.
I got one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, I remember at the time, I remember thinking when we got to the end,
I don't have any bit of news, but I'll let you have this one
because I'm so confident that you will never get three no bits of news.
We'll see.
And you'll never be able to veto any of my increasingly worse bits.
Anyways, I wanted to talk about, because I sent you this week,
there's a new Robocop.
Oh, yeah.
Game play trailer for the new Robocop game.
Robocop.
Robocop.
Robocop.
What does that mean?
It doesn't matter.
Make the poster.
It's too late.
It's too late in the show.
I can't veto it.
Oh, my God, you can't.
I'll have to think of something.
I don't want to veto rope, po, cope or whatever it was.
It's rope, pope, cop.
Okay.
All right.
He's a cop.
Okay.
A rope and the pope.
Yep.
How does this go together?
Oh, it's like a puzzle and I can't see the answers.
Is the rope, he's using like a lasso as a weapon.
Is he the Jude Law version of the pope?
Is he like Pope Benedict?
Which Pope is it?
Which is the nicest?
What's the nicest one?
John Paul.
No, he's awful.
I know.
All right.
The nice Pope.
Oh, the new one.
Isn't he the nicest one of all the Popes?
No, I think we've got, I think you're onto something there.
He's a cop.
Yep.
But he's also the Pope and he does lasso criminals.
And you know, he's got that rope belt.
But he whips that off.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And his robe's like, once he takes the rope off,
his robe's like shat behind him like a cape.
I can't stress enough, Mason, that this is nothing.
I know, but you can't stop it.
I don't want to stop it.
You need two to four more bits of news that I don't provide.
Somebody reminded me how many videos I could do.
Maybe, I don't know.
Anyways, there's a new game page.
What's his catchphrase?
Rope, Pope, Cop.
I'm a pedophile.
Oh, no.
Oh, no, James.
It's not my fault.
It's no one's fault.
It's society's fault.
You should have vetoed this when you had the chance.
I will never.
I will never because I believe in the power of whatever this is.
It's not quite improv.
I don't know what it is though.
Certainly not improv.
Certainly something.
Yeah, I don't think I could actually do this with anybody else.
It wouldn't work.
No, it wouldn't work.
No, we'd be killed.
But you're talking about the video game Robocop Rogue City,
which is a first-person shooter.
But you're Robocop and you're just blasting people.
Yeah, and I believe it's the same developer as the guys
who did the Terminator game
of late. Is that any good?
Yeah it was good. It was like
it was a pretty low budget for what it was but it exists
in the Skynet future and you do
your little missions in the wastelands
and it was like when it came out
a lot of reviewers were like ah boo no
kind of cheap and whatever but then
slowly you got this groundswell of people being like,
no, this is actually pretty good.
And it is.
I played through the entire thing, which I rarely do,
and I very much enjoyed it.
It ties into a bunch of the movies, the good ones, which is all of them.
Well, this is probably going to tie into all the good Robocop movies,
i.e. the first one.
That's right.
Peter Waller is back as well.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he's still probably returning in a movie
we didn't really get anything in terms of like
plot wise
it's got a sinister vibe to it
a new gang perhaps?
it felt like the fact that it's called Rogue City
it kind of felt like
there's something off about Robocop
in it
maybe he's going to turn evil, you're going to turn evil, I don't know
it's coming out next year
wow well in the meantime we still have a cop in it. Yeah, maybe. Like maybe he's going to turn evil. You're going to turn evil. I don't know. Oh, it's coming out next year.
Like next June. Wow.
Wow, wow, wow.
Oh, fuck.
Well, in the meantime, we still have rope per cop.
I don't like his catchphrase.
Well, tough.
That's the society we live in.
We could change it.
There's still time.
No.
There's no vetoing.
We just build.
Okay.
All right.
It's time to rope a dope. but I'm still a pedophile.
Better?
That's an improvement, I think.
I mean, you know, it's like the core of the character is still intact.
So it works.
Look, we'll put it on some lunchboxes.
We'll see which one sells better.
That's how this works.
Some children's lunchboxes.
Yes.
Great.
Mason.
Oh, it's so late. Is there another segment of the show?
There is one segment
And then we get the heck out of here
No this is going really well I think
Well I watched a couple of movies this week
Oh really?
I finally watched Confess Fletch
Why was that live?
It's fun
It's pretty low stakes
Love low stakes
It's uh
You know
Jon Hamm's an absolute delight
As you might imagine
And annoying
Hey Mason
What about this?
Yes
This is a riff.
We start a restaurant.
It's called Low Steaks, and you eat steaks on the floor, cross-legged.
I love it.
They bring it out, and they go, here's your low steaks.
We serve them.
We do.
So we're responsible for this.
Yeah.
And we say, here's your low steaks.
And then we laugh.
And whoever's there is with us, they laugh.
I do love to laugh.
That's actually very good. And we do that for the rest of our lives. The rest of our lives? Yeah. Wow, wow, wow. What do you think? steaks and then we laugh and whoever's there is with us they laugh i do love to laugh that's
actually very good and we did that for the rest of our lives less of our lives yeah wow wow what
do you think even when like the business like it has a it probably has an initial like social media
like boost and it's quite popular why would you do this and then people are like we actually prefer
to eat at a at a table with with chairs and we're like there you get it come on there you guys get
it and then we continue to do it for the rest of our lives
even though profits are down.
Yeah, yeah.
We could also not cook the steaks and there could be a hot plate
on the floor.
I know that would be dangerous.
But people were like, they could cook their own meat on there, you know,
and that way we don't have to cook.
We can just bring out steaks.
It could be dangerous but as people go into the restaurant,
we could go and don't step on that bit of the floor because it's real hot.
And they would never know if we were being serious or not.
But also shoes off.
Yeah, yeah.
Shoes off in our house.
Disrespectful.
Also, when we come out, we'll hold the plates in our mouths.
Okay.
Because we've got to be low.
So we'll worm our way across the room.
Oh, so we can't.
We've got to keep it low.
Keep it low.
Because the stakes always have to be low.
Yeah.
Because you're absolutely right. Because if the stakes ever it low. Keep it low. Yeah. The stakes always have to be low. Yeah. Because you're absolutely right
because if we,
if the stakes ever became high,
in a way,
the stakes.
We'd be a laughing stock
but in a bad way.
Yeah.
In a way,
ensuring the stakes were low,
the stakes would never be higher.
That's right.
So.
Damn,
that's great.
We could use that.
That's our slogan.
We could guarantee it.
Like at those,
you know,
the pizza place,
it's like,
if we don't deliver your pizza
in 30 minutes, it's free.
Yeah.
We could be like if the steaks go above a certain level
in the restaurant, you get them for free.
I love that.
People will be constantly trying to push the steaks up from the ground.
But we'd be like, no.
No, no, no, we'd shoot them.
It's not like guns.
Because we're 50.
Yeah.
Cool.
Anyway, so you're in?
Yeah, I think so.
Great, cool.
What could go wrong?
We'll put it in the CBD, the Central Business District. Cool. Anyway, so you're in? Yeah, I think so. Great, cool. What could go wrong? We'll put it in the CBD, the Central Business District.
Nice.
We could have like rich business people come in.
They'd be like, this is an odd place, but the stakes have never been higher.
We're also very odd.
Yeah, that's right.
Cool.
Anyway, what were you really saying?
I was watching Confess.
That was a riff I just wanted to do.
I loved how you, I loved that you finally did a riff.
I appreciated that.
Go on.
A lesser man would have vetoed that riff, obviously.
Is that you you mean?
No.
Because you didn't veto it.
I didn't veto it.
No, I appreciate that.
Thank you.
That's right.
Anyway, Confess Fletch.
It's fun.
What's it about?
It's about some missing art and a moida.
Is there a gun?
Yes, there is a gun.
Great.
You'd know that if you watched the trailer, James.
You'd know there's a gun.
I've had watched the trailer. I just don't remember everything that's ever fucking happened to me, Mason. I a gun. Great. You'd know that if you watched the trailer, James. I've had watched the trailer.
I just don't remember everything that's ever fucking happened to me, Mason.
I'm sorry.
Jesus.
Well, maybe stop with these pipe dreams where you're making a stand.
Pipe dreams?
That's right.
Excuse me?
James, you just don't have what it takes to be in the restaurant business.
That is true.
But that's why I've reduced all the elements of risk.
The actual cooking of the steaks.
That's right.
If we just buy high quality steaks, all the onus is off us.
There are no salads or chips.
It's just steaks.
We don't even do cutlery.
They just have to use their fingers to flip the steak.
As it's cooking?
Yeah.
Wow, how do they eat the steak?
I don't give a fuck, Mason.
We give them a napkin.
I guess you get them to play.
Or a newspaper.
Pick a newspaper they can roll it up.
We give them yesterday's newspaper.
Yeah, or today's.
We're not going to read them anyway.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What if there's a downturn in the newspaper business?
You've got to cover all angles.
I don't know, Mason.
Wow.
Also, no toilets.
I don't want people coming and using our toilets, all right?
Okay.
And if they say, where do you guys go to the toilet?
We say our homes.
We go home.
We hold it.
We go home because we're not animals.
That's right.
But if you need to go to the toilet, there's another restaurant next door
that's not affiliated with us.
Anyway, you're back in.
Yeah, I'm back in.
It's your passion.
Yeah, it's our passion.
Yeah, that's true.
Anyway, so confess, Fletch.
Yeah, it's fun.
I'm trying to think if there's a restaurant we could merge with,
but I don't think we should, at least not in the short term.
Mason, what's the next segment of the show?
It's called Letters.
Great.
And it's got a theme and it goes like this.
What if the other restaurant was called Lettuce
and then it could be Steak and Lettuce?
I thought you said no sides.
No, I know, but that would be be we know we would have taken it too
far because people would have been like they'd know us for not having sides exactly right you're
right we could merge with one of those restaurants where the staff are really rude to you okay still
exist in 2020 like intentionally rude to you like karen there's a karen's i've seen that yeah and i
saw the guy who got really mad because he got insulted or whatever yeah yeah i'm not interested
in any of that.
No.
I'd probably go to a regular restaurant.
Where they don't yell at you.
Yes.
As much.
Could we promise that?
We won't yell at you?
No.
Yeah, no, I wouldn't.
Yeah.
It's dangerous ground there.
The whole place is dangerous, Mason.
Oh, yeah.
Everyone's barefoot and there's grills on the floor and we're crawling around like worms.
Yeah, anyway. Yeah, here's the lettuce though. Lett worms. Yeah, anyway.
Yeah, here's the letters though.
Letters.
Yeah.
The classic one was
Letters, oh letters
We love you
Some letters
They're only
A day away
Big letters!
Westworld.
That's our new thing we're going to do.
Oh, no. I like big letters. That's our new thing we're going to do. Oh, no.
I like
big letters. That was fun.
Are you ready to
commit to another bit for years, Mason? Yes!
Especially, we
don't even know if it's going to...
People are going to hate it.
That's what I like about it. Mason, you've
got a big letter this week. I've got so
many big letters. And if people do want to send us it. Mason, you've got a big letter this week. I've got so many big letters.
And if people do want to send us a big letter,
you can actually send a Gmail to weeklyplanetpod at gmail.com
or simply hashtag us on Twitter, hashtag weeklyplanetpod.
Is it true that this is actually the letter segment
and on the letter segment we have to, if people want to send a letter,
they hashtag weeklyplanetpod on Twitter or they Weekly Planet Pod,
if Twitter's still working, or weeklyplanetpod at gmail.com.
If I've been watching, speaking of what we're reading,
this week it's just been Twitter and Twitter bouncing down.
Incredible.
You know what I love about this as well, probably the most?
Also that thing you said is true.
What thing?
The thing about you can send us a letter.
Yes.
That thing is true.
That is true.
I wouldn't lie to you and you wouldn't lie to me about those things.
We're locked.
So it's accurate.
We're like Dumbledore and Grindelwald.
We're locked into some kind of weird hex where we can't lie to each other.
That's right.
Which might have been the point of that movie.
I just like being right about.
Oh, yeah?
I mean, I'm not always right.
You?
I'm often wrong.
You're digging your heels in.
I've been telling people and i guess more
people in my life that like he's a fucking idiot i don't know who you're talking about
and just to see this unfold in real time and what she's fucking idiot brain just like tick over
when you say this thing unfolding in real time do you mean a man playing six-dimensional chess
is that what you're talking about yeah i mean maybe he's doing it on purpose. Maybe he bought a $44 billion platform
on purpose to take it. Maybe because he wants some of his investors to kill him. Maybe that's
why he's doing it because he's such a genius. And the fact that like, it's like shares are
tanking in like horrible companies because of fake verified tweets and all of that. That presumably would have repercussions for a man
who's never experienced any repercussions in his entire life.
He's doing it for the lulz.
Yeah, he is, isn't he?
Yeah.
But what were you saying earlier this week to me that was like
he just wants to be like funny in a good poster?
He wants to be a funny guy on Twitter, but he'll never be a funny guy on Twitter.
And I'm not a funny guy on Twitter.
That's okay.
You're atrocious on Twitter. I'm atrocious. But you're not trying to be good. Are you trying to be good funny guy on Twitter, but he'll never be a funny guy on Twitter. And I'm not a funny guy on Twitter. That's okay. You're atrocious on Twitter.
I'm atrocious.
But you're not trying to be good.
Are you trying to be good?
No, never.
Okay, good.
Because if you were trying, and you could tell me if you were trying,
but if you were trying, that would be atrocious.
I would tell you because we can't lie to each other.
That's true.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But, yeah, he just won't be that guy.
I mean, let that sink in.
Come on.
And not only that, but, but like the buildup to that.
You've got to tell somebody that you've got to go get a sink
or somebody suggested that to you.
Go down to Home Depot and get me a sink.
And you agree and then you walk in with it and you say,
let that sink in, which also doesn't make sense.
Like it doesn't make sense.
Like a visual gag, like, yeah, sink.
You're holding a sink and let something sink.
What's the joke?
And then you put down the sink and one of your fucking minions
has to go and get rid of it, like dump it in an alley.
Okay, but imagine you're that guy, though.
That's your whole day.
Oh, I don't care.
I'd take that job.
Fuck yeah, I don't give a shit.
Just the whims of a moron.
But just the idea that, like, he's very clearly bought
into everything he's ever done.
He's never invented anything, which is fine.
Like, you're a marketing guy.
That is clearly your skill.
You've tricked people into, like, a bunch of people
to thinking you're a genius.
And just watching that unravel is just a lot of fun.
And he'll get out of it because he's rich.
Like, there won't be any actual repercussions,
but it is fun to watch Twitter like just fall apart,
which also I'm totally okay with.
There'll be another platform at some point, you know?
That's right.
Anyway, did you have any thoughts on it?
It's bigsandwich.co for $9 per month.
I know that's an extra dollar.
I know that's more than it takes to get verified,
but you get bonus podcasts, movie commentaries, early videos,
after you feed.
And again, like the idea of getting people to pay $8 a month,
which most like to make that profitable,
there's not enough people who will sign up to make that.
So the value of this company is in its users and advertisers,
and you've thrown that away, and you're trying to hit people up for money,
but that money is not going to cover your losses.
Like you should know that.
I know that.
Why the fuck don't you know that?
It's crazy, right?
It's crazy.
It's because you didn't have a plan.
Yeah.
Like walking, you could have walked in and done nothing
and just said we're doing more content moderation in terms of
because we want more free speech and just left everything else the way it was
and you would have been a fucking hero to idiots,
but you still would have been a hero, right?
Yeah.
Not fire half of the people.
Goddamn.
Just crazy.
It's because people have only seen his successes in public
and not all the other stuff that sank without a trace over the years.
Like the tunnel.
Like the tunnel, yeah.
Well, the tunnel apparently was just a way to delay California
from having high-speed rail.
Yeah, of course.
Yeah.
Anyway, that's the letters segment.
That's our letters.
Fair enough.
All right.
This is from someone named F-I-O-N-N.
I'm going to say it's Finn.
F-I-O-N-N.
Yes, F-I-O-N-N. I think it to say it's Finn. F-I-O-N-N. Yes, F-I-O-N-N.
I think it's Finn.
All right, I believe you.
Dear James and Nick,
your New Moon video gives me the perfect excuse
to show off my collection of New Moon DVDs.
These 17 copies of New Moon were bought in a second-hand electronic shop
for €8.50 a few years ago for no discernible reason.
The shopkeeper was very frustrated as, being inexperienced in his position, he did not know how to multiply an item by 17 on the register That's good business. each show the same film. There are 17 individual discs, so they are not literally the same DVD.
My former housemate once had to account for the presence of these DVDs
when having someone over for a date,
and I would like to think that this jarring exchange
is the reason the date did not work out.
My girlfriend is moving in this month
and would prefer we dispose of the DVDs,
but this is the hill I will die on.
Kind regards, Finn.
P.S. I do not own a DVD player.
Anyway, there's a picture of the there's a picture
of the dvd it's real now just just as uh just as an agent of chaos i have to respect i have to
absolutely respect that that is very good yeah that's really that's really good stuff um yeah i
love it and i think that is really, just somebody showing up to a date.
As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors,
like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause,
causing the risk of heart disease to go up.
Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca.
FX's The Veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship
between two women who play a deadly game of truth and lies on the road from Istanbul to Paris and
London. One woman has a secret, the other a mission to reveal it before thousands of lives are lost.
FX's The Veil, starring Elizabeth Moss, is now streaming on Disney+.
Just the endless, all the drama,
and just somebody showing up at the date and having to be like,
I don't know, man.
I don't know.
He's got this, like he just bought it.
Can we put a DVD on?
No, we cannot.
They're not the same movie.
Anyway, keep us updated.
And let us know when your girlfriend throws them all out
because she will and you will not have any say in it.
That's what's going to happen.
You'll come home from work one day and she'll be like,
I don't know what you're talking about.
She'll use the same magic on you.
She'll be like, I don't know what you're talking about.
That's right.
You will have been bested. That's right. Here's an email from Matthew. Hello. I almost
died while listening to your podcast, brackets, not clickbait. All right. Hey, James and Mace.
So the other day I was listening to the pod while driving home from picking up dinner.
Ooh, lucky for some. I know, right? While I was entering the highway, an 18-wheeler
on the access road missed the entrance and decided it was a good idea to cut across two lanes of traffic
while also deciding to decelerate to maybe 10 miles an hour on the highway.
Blimmin' heck.
Why?
All while this was happening, they missed the exit, I think.
All while this was happening, you said something hilarious.
Lucky for some.
And I was too busy laughing to apply the brakes,
only doing so at the last possible second,
stopping maybe two feet from the truck.
Jesus.
My car was fine.
I flipped off the drive of the truck and proceeded on my way.
But my food, which was in the passenger seat,
was flung forward and I hit the brakes and was promptly ruined.
Oh, no.
Anyway, keep up the good work, Matthew.
Sounds like we owe Matthew $10.
Yeah.
He's not going to get it, though.
No, I don't think so.
That's right.
Maybe we'll keep doing it.
We've got dinner to spill in our cars.
That's right. Oh, man, well, I'm've got dinner to spill in our cars. That's right.
Oh, man, well, I'm glad you're not dead.
I wonder if there's anybody who's, like, listened and died
and we don't know.
What a great thing to bring up.
But I've also wondered this.
I hope not, Mason.
I don't mind telling you.
Do you think, just to make it a bit more positive,
because you've really dragged the vibe around.
I'm dragging the vibe around.
You've dragged it down specifically.
And what I'm saying is I think probably there's somebody who's maybe like
they're listening to the podcast and they've dug up like a magical jewel
and they've become immortal.
Okay.
You know, and they've shot out into space.
I don't care about that.
Yeah, nah.
What's that got to do with me?
I don't know, but they're not going to give us $10, are they?
Nah.
I don't even want any of those magical powers.
I don't want any of that.
They're like, you get infinite
space powers. Nah, fuck it, no.
Let me learn. I'm going to
finish Jack Reacher. This show
that I don't really like.
Are you sure you don't want the magical
space powers? Yes.
I mean, what do you think's going to happen at the end of
Jack Reacher? I mean, it's pretty formulaic.
I mean, he's got a
probably be a big shootout or something. Have you seen it? I mean, it's pretty formulaic. I mean, he's going to probably be a big shootout or something.
Have you seen it?
I mean, I watched a few episodes,
but I thought it was kind of a foregone conclusion.
And also, he's going to go to another town in the next season.
So, I mean, what am I going to fall in love with all these characters
that I'm not going to get to see them again?
I think there'll be some recurring characters.
He might make a phone call or something.
Oh, a phone call.
That's very, wow.
Wow, I'm going to commit to a whole season for a phone –
oh, he's going to call the detective, is he?
I don't want the gem.
Anyways, do you have any other letters?
I do have another letter.
I do have another letter.
Okay, give us another letter.
Not a physical letter.
All right.
All right, I'll just read this one quickly from Jason who says –
it's from Jason, Magic Historian.
Sonic is from –
His name is Jason, Magic Historian? Yep. Or his name's Jason, he's a magic historian. It's from Jason, magic historian. Sonic is from the planet. His name is Jason, magic historian?
Yep.
Or his name's Jason, he's a magic historian.
It's Jason, magic historian.
Oh, that's exciting.
I agree.
Sonic is from the planet Mobius.
I didn't know that.
Okay, great.
Does that extend to Monthbius?
Hashtag weekly planet pod.
Look, Monthbius is self-sustaining at this point.
That's true.
It is beyond my reach to shut down Monthbius.
Monthbius outside of this podcast.
Oh, that's true actually, yeah.
Like in the Great Mates group, on Reddit, on Twitter.
I can't stop Month Fierce.
It's like when someone creates an iconic comic book character and it grows beyond them, you know what I mean?
That's true, yeah.
And what they do or say cannot affect what they have done.
That is very true.
Yeah, so it's out of my hands. What I should have done. That is very true. Yeah.
So it's out of my hands.
What I should have done is I should have really pushed
a kid in a sandwich to the point where we're not doing,
I'm not doing a kid in a sandwich right now.
I'm talking about in the aftermath of a kid in a sandwich.
What I should have done is I should have really pushed the bit every week
and then it could have become self-sustaining.
That is, that's my that, that's my mistake.
You know?
What about for every one bit of news you don't bring?
No, no, no, that's no.
I mean, it's less work for you.
Wait, so with it, wait, so for every, if every one bit of news I don't bring,
you get another veto.
No, no, that doesn't sound good to me.
What about like five, five or five for one?
No, I don't like it.
Ten?
No, no, that, that wasn't sound good to me. What about like five? Five for one. No, I don't like it. Ten? No, that wasn't the rules.
You had three vetoes to spend wisely.
And it's merely April.
Exactly.
All right, anything else?
Self Aware Bacterium says, thoughts on the Halo series so far?
I wasn't happy Master Chef removed his helmet,
but I was willing to see the different kind of story. James, have you done that on purpose?
No, yeah, no. They wanted to tell.
The problem with MasterChef
is the least interesting character in the
series. Who is MasterChef
in the series? Who becomes the MasterChef?
James, why have you done this? What have I
done? Why have you?
No, I don't like this. I like it.
I haven't watched Halo. I haven't watched it.
I know people who like the games do not like the show.
Well, there's a –
Generally.
Yeah.
One of the admins on the Planet Broadcasting Great Mates Facebook group,
Fidel, every week starts up a Halo episode thread.
And I think in the most recent one he was like,
anybody still watching this?
Anybody liking this?
Anybody –
What am I doing here?
I think a lot of people were like, I started this because I was excited for Halo.
Halo, yeah.
And maybe I'm – and they're just sort of watching it out of an obligation now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It seems to be very light on action.
Master Chef takes his helmet off.
Mason, you've said it wrong.
Oh, yes.
Yeah, I would never do that.
It's Mr. Chef.
It's Mr. Chef.
It's French.
Yeah.
I'll never do that.
It's Mr. Chef.
It's Mr. Chef. It's French.
Yeah.
The shots I've seen of the Halo series also just look like they're taking place in a car park.
Just like a 21st century car park.
It should be super expensive.
Right?
Why isn't it super expensive?
And it's wild also.
I don't know if Paramount Plus do the same thing that Netflix do, which is you can't screenshot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But the whole point of Halo is, like, the Halo.
Exactly.
I've not seen, like, a shot.
And the flood come through and everyone goes, wow.
I've not seen a shot of, like, MasterChef and he's there.
Yeah.
And the Halo, and he's like, I'm shooting at the Halo, you know?
This brisket's ready and I'm shooting at this Halo.
Yeah.
I've deconstructed this cream caramel and people are like, oh, come on, man.
Just make it normal.
Just make the regular normal one.
God damn it, MasterChef.
I'm watching Halo right now, James.
What do you think about that?
What are you watching that on?
Paramount+.
You have Paramount+.
If you have Amazon, you can add channels to Amazon.
I thought that cost extra money when you do that.
It does.
It's not free.
So you just bought that then for money? No, I already had it. I already had it to Amazon. I thought that cost extra money when you do that. It does. It's not free. So you just bought that then for money?
No, I already had it.
I already had it to watch.
Dexter?
Yellow Jackets.
Yellow Dexter?
Yes.
Dexter Jackets?
Yes.
Anyway, it's looking great.
Look at this.
Wow, it looks real.
It looks real, man.
Oh, that's pretty big.
That's a big structure.
Yeah.
You know?
Anyway, can you send me that?
Can you screenshot that and send me the show?
The entire episode?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Screen record it for me. I mean, look, they're wearing future clothes, aren't they? That's pretty something. That you screenshot that and send me the show? The entire episode? Yeah, yeah. Okay, great. Screen record it for me.
I mean, look, they're wearing future clothes, aren't they?
That's pretty something.
That's kind of rad.
Are they playing some sort of future card game?
Wow, what's the game?
That's great.
Do you reckon it's an in-game card game you see and you're like,
how many squares you got?
I haven't got enough squares for this round.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, man, I don't have enough squares.
I love a future weird game.
But I can get more squares if I pay real money to get some more squares.
Buddy, quit while you're ahead.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm going to scroll forward.
Yep.
And I'm going to see if I can see MasterChef.
Oh, there he is.
That's MasterChef, I think.
No, that's one of them.
That's not bad.
It's a great costume.
Yeah, it's pretty good.
What don't you like about it?
No, I like it.
Yeah.
He's just looking side to side.
Isn't he Liev Schreiber's brother who plays MasterChef?
Huh.
Isn't that right?
Don't know.
Okay.
Okay.
Great.
All right.
Looks great to me, Halo fans.
I don't know what you complain about.
I've got to say that yellow sheen on his visor is looking real good.
Yeah, it looked not bad.
Why isn't he wearing his chef's hat, though?
Great point.
Thanks.
Mason.
He's wearing it under the helmet.
He crushes it down.
You don't know anything about Halo more. So what do you take it under his helmet?
He has to pop it out again.
He has to blow into it and pop it back open again.
That's not fun. It's the future. It should pop up.
It should have a big future spring in it.
But that's why the wars keep happening because they
put AI into the chef's hats
and made them pop up again and then
there's a bloody...
Then they went AI mad or whatever.
I hate that.
So now they just have to have manual hats.
Manual hats.
Right?
In the future.
Yeah.
Why even do anything?
Yeah.
What are we working towards?
Yeah.
Driverless cars.
Don't you remember Halo manual hats?
We're not getting driverless cars, are we?
Me and you, personally.
I don't think so, no.
But just in general.
They wouldn't allow us.
I think we're way further than that than people think we are.
You know what I mean? Right, right. Yeah. It's just not going well, is it? Not at so, no. But just in general. They wouldn't allow us. I think we're way further than that than people think we are. You know what I mean?
Right, right.
Yeah.
It's just not going well, is it?
Not at all, no.
All right.
Mason.
This is from Justin.
Hashtag Wikipedia Planet Pod.
Mr. Sunday Movies and at Wikipedia Brown.
You guys have got to watch the new Santa Claus series on Disney+.
It's like whoever wrote it watched your videos and made a series
answering all of your questions about how the universe actually works. I've heard this a few
times from people. That is fascinating to me that they, it seems as if maybe somebody watched our
videos and then addressed it. I mean, people have had these questions about this series,
I assume outside of us. Yeah, right.
But they directly referenced like what happened to Mrs. Claus's brain and their kids growing up in the
North Pole and all these things that we
talked about. Because we wondered if
when a woman becomes Mrs. Claus
she loses her personality. Yeah.
And apparently she's got like no memories or
doesn't remember. They also address the
previous Santa Claus before Tim Allen, which
we were also confused about. But again,
I think these are like general questions.
But I would love to revisit this.
Let me erase any doubts in your mind, James.
We've never had an original thought.
Well, that's true.
It's probably somebody else.
Exactly.
So I think it's a bit presumptuous to be like, yeah,
anybody watched anything we did.
It's true.
But I mean, those videos don't get no views.
They get some views.
Yeah, but they're not like 10 million views.
They're not MrBeast videos, are they?
We're not doing a big MrBeast situation where everybody lick this plane
for a million dollars and then you keep the plane.
I'll kill you.
What?
Lick it.
I'll kill you.
Sometimes, folks, after we record a podcast,
we watch a MrBeast video as a sort of reward for ourselves.
The last one we watched was
how long can a bunch of youtubers touch your plane the last one to let go of the plane gets
a million dollars a million dollars in a plane and they're all like well it's fascinating because
they're all like again they're all wired as youtubers so mr beast they're all like up here
yeah the whole time and like mr beast is what are you going to do with this plane?
Who are you going to give this plane to?
And the guy's like, oh, man, I'm going to give it to my brother because he works so hard or whatever.
And it's like, what does that mean?
It's a Learjet or whatever.
Like, can your brother fly this Learjet?
Yeah, what do you mean?
Is he going to just, like, privately fly people around as a pilot?
And then he gets to the end and that guy wins.
Yeah.
And he's like, he brings his brother in.
He's also wired to be a YouTuber.
He's like, oh, my God, you did it.
You won me a plane.
Imagine if I brought you into a room and I was like, James,
I won you this plane.
You'd be like, ugh.
Why?
Do I have to rent this hangar, you'd say?
How much is that going to cost?
Apparently Mr. Beast often is just like all the money.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But it's funny because all of them are massively successful YouTubers,
like way more than me.
Like there's just a different level.
And then he's a level above that.
So just that dynamic is really interesting in itself.
But like for me, if he was like,
put your hand on this plane for a week or whatever,
I'd be like, no.
So I don't understand.
Like, they would have more money than us.
Yeah.
Without question.
Yeah, yeah.
Without it, they'd do one video that would do better
than everything we do for the entire year.
Yeah.
But I guess it's for the clout, I guess.
I don't get it.
Also, I'm like, I fucking hate everybody in this room.
Just terrible. Oh, because you'd everybody in this room. Just terrible.
Oh, because you'd be in a room with all the other Australian YouTubers.
Maybe.
Or the local guys.
Yeah.
Whatever that even fucking looks like.
I don't know.
I don't know anything about Australian YouTube, to be honest.
I've never been to an event.
Who's famous here?
Like, I don't.
We could be walking past them every day.
I don't know.
Like, I honestly don't.
I have no fucking idea.
We could be walking past them every day and they recognize us and they're like, oh. Yeah. But just, I don't know. Like, I honestly don't. I have no fucking idea. We could be walking past them every day and they recognize us and they're like, ooh.
Yeah.
But just, I don't know, man.
Like, that level of, like, YouTube.
And I don't know if this, like, MrBeast,
he's done a lot of charity stuff as far as I'm aware.
Like, they just seem like a pack of fucking psychos.
Like, to be honest.
I don't know that for a fact, obviously.
But just, I don't know.
There's just something missing there.
That's interesting that you're not taking both sides here.
No, not on this one.
It's interesting that in a lot of arenas you would take both sides,
but when we watch those MrBeast videos,
there's one guy who whenever he comes on screen, you're like,
oh, he kicked that guy in the head.
I do say that.
I'm not going to name him.
Because you don't know his name. I don't know his name. Yeah, I do want to name him. Because you don't know his name.
I don't know.
Yeah.
I do want to kick him.
He's one of Mr. Beast's friends.
I want to kick him so hard, mate.
Anyway, it's a bit of fun.
The videos are a bit of fun, aren't they?
They're pretty good, aren't they?
They're very watchable.
They're just perfectly designed, aren't they? Do you think he comes up with all his ideas i mean he'd have a team to do it
obviously but like just and like he trims the fat so if it's just like i don't know we gotta live in
a swamp or whatever the i don't know whatever they're doing there's no like hey guys so i'm
here at the swamp and this is my boy whatever whatever. Today, you know, the idea is we're in the middle.
It's just like go and it just starts.
And I think that's really, like, interesting.
Like, he'll make it just eight minutes.
He won't do, like, a 50-minute video.
It's so, like, tightly produced.
And what's also interesting is that.
I want to kick that guy so much.
Just thinking about it.
Let me kick him.
Yeah, yeah.
So there was one video.
You know, look, doing YouTube isn't a job in the sense like being a nurse
or a construction worker.
Absolutely not.
Or any member of the village team ultimately.
Yeah, any job ever, yeah.
A policeman, Native American and so forth.
That job, yeah.
That job.
But there was an episode where he decides he's going to see
if he can not eat for 30 days.
And it's not just him in a room and he just sits there for four.
He's also doing regular Mr. Beast videos during it.
So you're seeing the videos that he's already made.
And we've seen because we've watched a lot of them.
And then you go, oh, he hadn't eaten for two weeks at this point.
Yeah, and he's just like falling apart, but he's just driven.
God damn.
That's a commitment.
Yeah.
Anyway.
That last to take hands off a jet from two weeks ago,
it's got 60 million views.
Well, you wanted to know who was going to take the hands off the jet.
But I didn't.
Who was it?
It was some guy.
He had a brother.
Yeah.
He gave the jet to his brother.
Yeah.
Yeah.
God, and these thumbnails, just next level, mate.
$10,000 every day you survive prison.
I haven't watched that one yet, but I hope it's real prison.
A real prison.
Because you're hoping one of his friends will be stabbed.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Anyway, look, I just want to point out the guy that I'm talking about,
who, again, I can't name or even describe.
I wouldn't really.
Because you can't describe him.
No.
Because he's indescribable.
Yeah.
I wouldn't really kick him.
I'm sure he's probably fine.
I think you'd kick him in Minecraft.
But anyway.
No, I'd kick him in the chest, basically.
Oh, yeah, great.
That's terrific.
Just the, you know, like that kind of.
Yeah, nice.
All right, I've got another email here, James.
Great.
What's your final letter, mate?
Here's a hot email.
I know what it is, and it's already giving me a headache.
Hot debate for you guys.
Wow.
Hi, James and Mason.
As I've said before, you guys are amazing.
I recently lost my grandmother a few days ago,
and you've kept me smiling, so thank you.
Boo, and we're sorry.
But here's the debate as mentioned in the subject line.
What are there more of in the world, doors or windows?
This has been a hot debate in all my friend groups,
so I figured you guys should tackle it also from DJ.
I hate this.
You love it though.
Now, we already did this.
We probably spoke about this for like 15, 20 minutes.
Yeah, that's most of the lost time, honestly.
Because we're like, okay.
Well, obviously, from you look at a house and it's like there's a door
on the front and then there's eight windows or whatever.
And there's lots more windows.
You'd go windows.
But then you think indoors.
But internal doors count. Yes. And there's lots more windows. You'd go windows. But then you think indoors.
But internal doors count.
Yes.
And then you said.
But cupboards don't.
Cupboards don't count.
Dog doors don't count.
Don't count.
Model homes don't count.
Model homes.
Like little doors.
And toy like.
None of that counts.
None of that counts.
But then you said, does every piece of glass count as a window?
Yeah.
Because I said, if you go to like the door store,
like a store that just sells doors, look at all these doors.
Yeah.
Every individual door I think counts whether they're installed or not.
Yes.
And then you said, okay, what about every piece of glass?
I feel like I'm trapped in hell.
Because invariably, James, you said all pieces of glass will go
to become windows eventually, but I don't think that's true.
Coffee tables, for example, and then you said what about bottles,
glass bottles?
Yeah, but also I've rethought about that and bottles would be shaped
into bottles immediately.
Exactly right.
They wouldn't be put in plain panes of glass and then be shaped
And I said we should get a glass expert in because at a glass factory,
maybe each piece of glass that comes off the assembly line is like,
okay, this is predetermined.
It's predetermined.
But if you go to a glass expert and they go, okay, but if a piece of glass that comes off the assembly line is like, okay, this is predetermined. It's predetermined. But if you go to a glass expert and they go, okay,
but if a piece of glass is 300 by 400,
then that's always going to be a window.
You never cut a piece of glass that's that size,
but it's anything else kind of thing.
So do they count as windows?
I say no.
I think it only counts as a window if it has been assembled.
Like if you see it on a truck, it's just a piece of glass.
That's not a window.
Even if it's going to be turned into a window.
It has to be in a frame that counts as a a piece of glass. That's not a window. Even if it's going to be turned into a window. It has to be in a frame.
That counts as a window.
Already cut to the size of a window.
Not all windows have frames.
I think if it's going to be a window.
Here's a question for you, though.
Go on.
What about a car?
Now, not the windscreen.
That's a different thing.
But the side windows are called windows.
Yes.
Does that change anything?
No, that's a window and a door.
Oh, shit.
So they cancel each other out.
Yeah, they cancel each other out.
But sometimes they have that little triangle at the back.
That doesn't go down.
That doesn't go down. That's a window.
So there's more windows in a car than doors.
Windscreen doesn't count.
I don't think rear windscreen counts.
And rear windscreen also doesn't count.
Yeah, yeah.
But there's also a bonnet count and a boot.
No, because they're bonnets.
A trunk and a hood.
Wherever you are, yeah.
No.
They're not doors.
They're not doors, James.
Yeah, they're not doors.
I get that.
I think you have to be able to go through it.
Yeah, okay.
Wait, or do I?
Because maybe there's some doors you don't go through.
Because it's like a door store and there's a door and you open it and it's a wall.
Yeah, no, that's okay.
That still counts.
Okay, but I don't think a bonnet or a trunk because they're not doors.
I agree.
It's like a latch.
Yeah, exactly.
Because then you're like, what are you counting, trunks?
No.
Like a trunk of like a chest?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
And also we had to bear in mind that some,
like the structure of a modern home,
maybe there are a lot of open plans, there's fewer doors inside,
but some houses have a bunch of doors inside,
like every room.
Every room's got a door.
Every room's got a door.
Every hallway's got a couple of doors.
If you've got a door, you've got a gym.
That's right.
What about this?
Roller doors.
Doors?
No.
Okay.
No, James.
Garage doors.
You're not taking this seriously.
Garage doors.
As we talked about before, the more you think about it,
you just think of new things.
A door to a garage, like from inside your house?
Of course that's a door.
Obviously that's a door, but I think a roller door isn't a door.
Okay.
What about a door that goes up like that?
Can you get a roller door with a window in it?
Because the window would count.
I've never seen one, but maybe.
You get a clear plastic.
No, no, no, because sometimes if you've seen those,
they're in American houses.
Instead of it being like one continuous roller door.
That's what I'm saying.
It's like three segments.
Yeah.
And they have windows in them.
That's true.
So those count as windows, I think.
But they don't count as doors.
No.
God damn.
And Windows computers don't count.
They don't count at all.
It's an operating system.
No, no, no, that's right.
And the band of doors don't count.
The band of doors will not count.
However many members of the doors there are do not count. Mostly dead, I at all. It's an operating system. No, no, no. And the ban the doors will not count. However many members of the doors there are
do not count. Mostly dead, I think.
Fuck. Right?
But we have to definitively decide, and I think
it's doors. But now I'm thinking about
cars. How many cars
are there in the world? I like how you're like, we have to cut
this short, but now you're like, you're in the
debate. I already did this!
Yeah, I know. But like, a car,
if you just counted cars, just cars, there is probably two more windows on average in the debate. I already did this. Yeah, I know. But like a car, if you just counted cars, just cars,
there is probably two more windows on average in each car than there is doors.
Not every car, though.
Most cars, I would say at least 50%, I'd say.
And that's being generous.
I'm being generous.
Again, I think, but I reckon modern cars.
Also, two-door cars have extra windows that don't open as well.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
In addition to four-door cars who also have extra windows often.
Oh, I see what you're saying.
Like, okay, I thought initially you meant, okay,
you were always referring to two-door cars which have the window
and then the non-functioning window at the back.
Yeah.
I think in a four-door car that – see, here's the thing, though.
When you said two-door cars with a four and, like, the back one didn't –
I was like, well, that counts as a separate window.
But for whatever reason, I'm arbitrarily deciding that in a four-door car
that bit doesn't, but it must.
You're right.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
So a four-door car has six of those.
Yes.
Wow.
They don't all have that, though.
No, they don't all have that.
But a lot of cars do, especially older cars.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then once you break a window, is it still a window?
No.
You kick a door, is it a door?
Put your foot through a door, is it still a door?
Yes.
Because it's solid, right?
It really makes you think, doesn't it?
You break a window and it's still.
Is that a broken window, though?
So it doesn't count.
But a broken door counts.
Because you could still close the door. The door's still operational. So it doesn't count. But a broken door counts. Because you could still close the door.
The door's still operational.
Maybe it wouldn't lock, but it would still cover the –
but if you smash a window – but does a broken window count as a window?
I don't think it does.
I agree with you.
I don't know why, but no, because it's not.
You need a full replacement.
It's not functional.
And a door could still technically be functional if it was not a hole in it.
But if a door was obviously off its hinges, you batter in a door.
That's not.
That's just a door frame.
That's a door hole.
No, but you said doors, like if you went in a door store and they don't go anywhere.
Oh, my God, you're right.
They count.
Oh, my God.
So how much do you have to destroy a door for it to no longer count as a door?
Like if you fully battered a door with its hinges.
No, you're right.
If a door comes off its hinges, it's still a door.
Like if I was going by the side of the road and I saw a door
on the side of the road, I wouldn't go, that's some wood.
I'd go, that's a door on the side of the road.
And if you saw glass, you'd be like, that's glass.
You wouldn't say, that's a window that is broken.
Unless it was a frame.
Like if a frame was on the side of the road with some broken glass in it,
I'd go, somebody's thrown a window onto the side of the road.
Or a window frame, you might even call it.
Wow.
I think it's doors because doors have-
I don't know if it is because of the car thing alone.
Yeah.
Like, think of the number.
Isn't there more cars than people or something?
We've got to know some statisticians who can put aside their actual jobs
and figure this out somehow.
We've got to get a round table going.
Because normally we definitively, like, call it.
And we actually did call it.
I said doors.
And I think I ended up agreeing with you.
You initially said windows, but then you turned around.
But the car thing is like.
We went back and forth.
I'm like, maybe it is windows.
But the car thing, yeah.
No, you're right.
Cripes.
But anyway, we'll put this in the Planet Broadcasting Great Mates group.
And people can debate it.
And maybe we'll do it.
I still think it's doors.
I'm not convinced.
I can be convinced.
Just because the existence of door stores, James.
Yeah, but how many door stores are there?
It's like six on my block.
No, just kidding.
I don't know.
And gates don't count.
We've established gates.
Anything that's like called a different thing.
Even though Bill Gates came up with windows.
Oh, my God.
He's a normal man, isn't he? No, I think he's weird. Weird and bad. Bad person. Oh, my God. He's a normal man, isn't he?
No, I think he's weird.
Weird and bad, bad person.
Yeah, I agree.
That's the show.
Yeah.
Sorry again.
Sorry this extra thing we was going to do is most doors and windows.
If this doesn't record, I'm going to do some screaming.
Let me tell you that.
What's next, Mason?
That's the end of the show, I think.
Wow, excellent.
Would you like to wrap up the show right now for us?
I would love to wrap up the show.
Or maybe rude Obi-Wan would like to wrap up the show.
Oh, no.
No, he doesn't.
He's gone.
He's gone?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Probably to jail, I'd imagine.
To jail.
Do you think?
Yeah, he's probably gone to jail.
Yeah, good.
Yeah.
I mean, he didn't do anything physically.
But it's a vibe, isn't it?
There's a lot of harassment there. Yeah, yeah. You know? They probably like. He got me too and good. Yeah. I mean, he didn't do anything physically, but there's a lot of harassment there.
Yeah, yeah.
You know?
He got me too, and good.
Absolutely right.
Anakin took a holo recording of Obi-Wan showing him his bum.
He took it to the Jedi Council.
See, that's how we do it, James.
See, this is the beauty of you also running out of vetoes,
is you have to come up with something else.
I would never veto Rune Obi-Wan.
Well, it's too bad he's gone to jail.
I love the idea of Anakin presenting that evidence
to the Jedi Council.
Well, that could be anyone's bum as far as I'm concerned.
Oh, God.
Anyway, what's going on?
I mean, it's got the word sateen tattooed on it.
I don't know.
A lot of space chicks called sateen, I guess.
I don't know.
Anyway, folks, that's the end of the show.
Thank you so much for listening.
Thank you for subscribing.
This hologram's blurry.
Maybe you'd get away with it.
That's exactly right.
Sorry, keep going.
This has been Holocron Shopped.
Anyway, thanks so much for listening and subscribing,
telling your friends.
We appreciate it.
That's how it gets in front of more ears.
It gets in front of ears and your earbuds and you put them in
and then it's in your ears.
You're like, oh, hello, what's this?
Thank you for leaving a five-star review on whatever platform you can
or just a thumbs up or what have you because that's how people see it.
They turn on their podcast thing and it's like you like stupid stuff.
Well, here's some real stupid stuff.
Yeah.
You stupid.
You stupid idiot.
Very nice.
Anyway, anything else?
No, that's the whole show, I think, folks.
Great stuff.
Great stuff, Mason.
Who is this?
That's me.
It's little James.
Oh.
I'm under the table.
Huh.
Yeah.
I got my microphone.
It's a little microphone. Are you – because regular James is here. Are you a separate guy? I'm under the table. Huh. Yeah. I got my microphone. It's a little microphone.
Are you, because regular James is here.
Are you a separate guy?
Yeah, I'm here too.
Yeah.
I'm a separate guy.
Huh.
Do you want a seat or something, little James?
You don't want one.
You seem actually offended that I've asked you.
I thought that was common courtesy.
Well, it's been, you know, it's nearly 400 episodes.
You've never even bothered to ask me.
I didn't know you were there on account of you being so little, little James.
It's rude. I don't know you were there on account of you being so little, little James. It's rude.
I don't think it is rude.
Had I known you were there, I would have absolutely.
I'm not in the practice of looking under the table, really.
Little James, you probably should have said something,
to be honest.
I'm on your side, mate.
Thanks, regular-sized James.
Just between you and me this guy sucks.
I didn't know he was there.
Yeah.
We didn't.
And then we were nice.
This is a seat, right?
There's two seats.
He has his
three seats.
He's got a pick of seats.
Yeah, I'd pick him up.
I'd put him on the seat.
Right?
Yeah.
God damn.
Yeah.
He's quiet again.
I don't know.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know what he's up to.
Yeah.
Let's put his headphones in.
He's texting.
God damn. Anyway, you don't know. I don't know what he's up to. Yeah. He's put his headphones in. He's texting. God damn.
Anyway, he was saying before we were interrupted.
Before we were really interrupted.
See, also what's weird is he was like, good job.
Like he was being nice.
Yes.
But I think it was just a, like I think maybe it was sarcastic.
Maybe that's what he was doing there.
Yeah, maybe.
I don't know.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't trust, I don't trust.
I don't like this guy.
I don't trust his motives. Yeah. I don't know how we'd get him out. Maybe I'll put out like a doing there. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. I don't trust. I don't like this guy. I don't trust his motives.
Yeah.
I don't know how we'd get him out.
Maybe I'll put out like a rat trap.
Yeah, yeah.
I'll get a broom or something.
Anyway, thanks, folks.
Is he a clone?
What is he?
I don't know.
I didn't get a good look at him.
He's shrouded in mystery and shadows because he's under the table.
I don't know.
Do you think he's got rat DNA or something?
Yeah, maybe.
Anyway. Folks folks thanks so much
for listening to the podcast
we absolutely appreciate it
thank you for subscribing
thank you for telling
your friends about it
because that's how
we get new listeners
and thanks
for leaving a five star review
on your podcast platform
of choice
James you got any reviews
got a couple
you can just do it in an app
it's terrific
maybe that's what
little James is doing
right now
with his headphones in
probably giving two and a half
star reviews
it probably is yeah don't do that but no it really helps the show that's fine Little James is doing right now with his headphones in. He's probably giving two and a half star reviews. He probably is.
Yeah, don't do that.
But no, it really helps the show.
That's fine.
It's the least you could do.
Yeah, yeah.
Listen to the podcast.
Exactly.
Yeah.
I mean, you might want to support Little James.
Yeah.
I think I'm going to put out a glue trap and then throw him over the fence.
Making somebody else's problem.
Sure, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I'll rehouse him.
Yeah, great idea.
You can also go to BigSandwich.co for $9 per month, bonus podcast,
movie commentaries, early videos, ad-free feed.
James is just having a big old laugh about the greatest new character
that's ever been created, little James.
Yeah, that's right.
Because so much character development in just that, you know?
Yeah, absolutely.
What a wonder.
Yeah.
I'm glad this happened at the end of the show
because I've just been thinking about it.
Yeah.
I've got to be for the rest of the night anyway.
That's right.
Anyway, it's great to be here recording on a Sunday.
James!
Did you misspeak then, Mason?
Yeah, I did.
I meant Sunday, actually.
Yeah, because we're recording on Sunday.
Okay, James, we're back in the studio.
Oof.
What a bunch of adventures we had. Exhausting.
And I mean, it was a little bit weird that every time I was like,
okay, we're going to go to this location and search for clues
and you were like, I need to use the toilet.
And then you would leave for like 45 minutes to an hour.
And then when you come back, we'd go to the location and it'd been
burned to the ground. I thought that was weird that it happened
like four or five times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But nevertheless,
it's fine. I just drank a lot of fluids.
But here's the twist, James. What's the
twist? The twist is, I mean, despite the fact we listened to all that great content,
that was delightful on its own.
Collings edited it together.
It was terrific.
But guess what?
What?
I knew who the killer was the whole time.
Then why did you make me drive around in a car with you?
To draw the killer out.
Oh.
And the killer was little James himself.
That's right.
He's still alive.
What?
What a twist, right?
A twist worthy of Agatha Christie or whatever or Knives Out or something.
I don't know.
That actually makes sense because you came in and said there'd been a murder
and it's little James, but there was no murder.
Yeah.
Like there was nothing here.
It's a real puzzler, right?
Yeah, I just took it on face value that that was a thing that happened.
I mean, now that I look at the crime scene,
I see the victim was actually that weird puppet you bought
that you spent a bunch of money on.
And used once. Used it once and then the dog ate it. If anything,
I think the dog should probably go to prison. Okay.
Anyway, what do you have to say to yourself?
What do you have to say?
What do you have to say for yourself, little James?
Ah! Yeah, that
sounds about right. Typical. God, that guy
sucks. I hate him. Yeah. We should
murder him for real, though. I think we should murder him for real.
Because I was relieved when you told me that.
And I was like, good, somebody's obviously done it
because I knew it wasn't me.
I've just been burning buildings down all day for no reason, baby.
I knew it.
No, I said maybe.
Anyway, maybe we'll get lucky and an accident will befall him,
just a regular accident.
Oh, I get you.
I see what you're saying.
No, no, or the dog will eat him or something.
I get it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That would be good.
Anyway, I think regardless like the dog will eat him or something. I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be good. Anyway.
Anyway, I think regardless of the outcome here,
I think it was worthwhile listening to all those great moments from the weekly plan of 2022.
Who knows what next year will bring?
This year.
This year?
Yeah, but who knows what next year will bring also, James?
That's also true.
Yeah, we don't know.
You're under arrest of pedantry, James.
Yeah, that's right.
I hate this.
That's right.
I don't like being a suspect in any of these situations, Mason.
Very well.
All right.
Thank you, everybody.
We'll be back on the 23rd, won't we, Mason?
23rd?
That's right.
22nd.
One of those dates.
Around that time.
Yeah, around that time.
Just stay up.
It will be the 23rd, yeah, but a big sandwich goes up the day before, obviously.
All right.
Wow.
What wow?
What does he say?
What does he mean and think, Mason?
It seemed passive aggressive.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
It certainly seemed sarcastic.
Wow.
The worst.
God.
Anyway, grab that, Gemming Guys.
Grab that Shrek.
When is this coming out?
Before Shrek.
Before the Shrek.
Grab that Shrek, everyone.
You'll know what that means in a week or so.
Yeah.
It's something to do with Shrek.
I don't want to give it away
You're under arrest for stating the obvious
Ah, what?