The Weekly Planet - Masters Of The Universe - Caravan Of Garbage
Episode Date: July 20, 2023The Barbie movie could very well herald in a new era of toys to movie adaptations. But it is far from Mattels first attempt as there first swing was 1987's Masters Of The Universe featuring Dolph Lun...dgren as the titual He-Man. Opening with Skeletor now in posession of Castle Grayskull things have never looked worse for Eternia which is the perfect time He-Man and friends to take a trip to New Jersey. Thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage review!SUBSCRIBE HERE ►► http://goo.gl/pQ39jNHelp support the show and get early episodes ► https://bigsandwich.co/Patreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesJames' Twitter ► http://twitter.com/mrsundaymoviesMaso's Twitter ► http://twitter.com/wikipediabrownPatreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesT-Shirts/Merch ► https://www.teepublic.com/stores/mr-sunday-movies The Weekly Planet iTunes ► https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-weekly-planet/id718158767?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 The Weekly Planet Direct Download ► https://play.acast.com/s/theweeklyplanetAmazon Affiliate Link ► https://amzn.to/2nc12P4 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Jack at Russell?
Russell Crowe.
Yes.
Yes.
It is Russell Crowe.
Is it picking up on the...
I mean, it will if I do this.
It doesn't.
I'll take it off.
I don't know whether I can hear it through the thing or through the...
Or I can just hear it.
Interesting.
Is this Jumper Russell?
Yeah.
It's also Russell Crowe.
Russell Crowe made it for me.
All right.
You know what news I loved recently?
What's that?
Mattel becoming so confident with their Barbie movie.
Oh, yes.
And I guess just properties in general.
This is pre-release, by the way.
This is pre-release. That the way. This is pre-release.
That they are raiding the toy box.
And by that I mean they're working on 45 different Mattel properties
for the big screen.
Oh, my God, James.
When all of those are a success, they can combine them into a Mattel-iverse.
Ha-ha, just kidding.
They're all going to fail.
No, wait.
We've got Hot Wheels.
We've got Matchbox.
We've got Polly Pocket. We've got He-Man.
Matchbox, just the concept of a matchbox.
Just a matchbox. Oh my god.
Kids play with these matches. They're magical.
They can burn down anything.
Absolutely. They've got
He-Man. They've got Rock Them, Sock Them
Robots. They've got Magic 8-Ball.
American Girl. Uno.
Viewmaster. You know Viewmaster?
You look through a thing and you go, oh yeah, that's a picture.
It's a boat or something.
That's great.
Oh, all the boats of the world.
What if it was magic though?
No.
Oh.
Anyways, welcome to Caravan of Garbage where this week
we're talking one of the biggest swings, I guess,
at bringing a toy to cinemas.
A Mattel product also, as well as Barbie, He-Man.
We were going to watch a Barbie computer animated movie.
I started it, the first one.
And then you were like, but wait, we're men.
We're a couple of bloody men.
No, I mean.
We can't watch a movie for girls.
We've got to watch a movie for men.
I started it and I'm like, I fucking hate this.
Okay.
But also it was made in an era with technology for a completely different demographic that's not me direct to video.
Yeah, right.
Like, what am I doing?
Right?
You know?
And plus, if the video did really well, we'd have to do all of them and there's like 50.
So we're not going to do that.
Instead, we're like, oh my God, let's watch 1987's Masters of the Universe.
Now what's interesting about Masters of the Universe is that it asks the question, what
if Star Wars, until the budget ran out?
Oh my god.
You're absolutely right.
We've got a sand planet.
We've got stormtroopers.
We've got a Darth Vader.
We've got a Yoda.
We've got assorted freaks.
We've got New Jersey.
That's the point where the budget...
That's exactly right.
Well, see, I saw this as a kid i don't know i saw this in the 90s yeah well i saw this i saw this in the 80s
when it came out at cinemas and prior to that i had been i'll say a fan yeah uh of the cartoon
series but what i really mean is you know i was i was it was on yeah and i was it was shot into my
eyeballs as a child but you know and the thing about that cartoon is it's the never-ending battle between
the good guys,
He-Man's forces and Skeletor's
forces to control the great magic
of Castle Greyskull. But Skeletor
already has a great castle, by the way. He's got fucking
Snake Mountain. What do you want, one on an
investment property? Get out of here.
Rumour ass bitch.
That's right. But as is,
as was the tradition of cartoons at the
time the status quo never changed obviously right it never you know the the storyline from episode
to episode never really evolved in any way so in watching this one i'm like as a kid i'm like oh
my god skeletal he's got castle grace like i'm sure i didn't have the words for it at the time
but i'm like this plot like this is this this gotten, like it's bigger and it's epic.
Yeah.
It's incredible.
He's a big hologram.
And this is real and it's in the real world now.
And that's amazing to me.
But like as an adult re-watching this,
I'm like, this is such a small movie.
Like it's such a, like they've clearly gone,
okay, we need to build for purpose like two sets.
We've got to build one room in castle greyskull yep
and like gwildor's apartment and the rest we can just we can just borrow some sets from like the
the small town dramedy that's recording next door absolutely just a or a real music shop that's
exactly a music shop and a and the the you know a main road in a small town and a kid's bedroom
and a warehouse whatever i appreciate they built a couple of big weird vehicles oh absolutely i love a big weird vehicle actually speaking of star wars
ralph mcquarrie actually worked on this a few years prior and there's a bunch of early concepts
which you can see here they are and he put a bunch of big weird vehicles in it because that's all he
man was just looking at a vehicle and go that's's not right. How's that going to move?
Oh, like a crab.
But it's a bird.
It's a big bird, though.
Why is it?
I don't know.
It's all right. It's falling down a cliff and there's another one.
I've got to buy the next one as well.
Let me keep buying.
Absolutely.
So for people new to me.
I can't stress how big this property was.
If you look at the numbers this franchise was doing,
it's astounding this failed so hard.
Yeah, yeah.
But this is, perhaps it's because this is the work, of course,
of the Canon Group.
Yeah.
Famously low-budget movie maestros and sometimes softcore porno.
Yeah.
Pick your poison.
That's right.
And just, yeah, just the scrimping and saving.
Or, you know, to look at it another way, they made any of this.
You know, like they cheated some money out of some people
and they made this movie, you know?
I think it's pretty impressive that it mostly looks good.
Like there's not a lot of special effects or moments in this
where you're like, ah, that's bad, that looks bad or whatever.
You know that Castle Greyskull set?
That's actually two separate sound stages
and they knocked the wall out of the middle.
So that was apparently the largest...
Without the landlord's permission.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fine.
That was apparently like the largest set
Hollywood had seen in like 40 years.
And you get the sense of scale from that.
But like beyond that, yeah,
it's like a music shop in a street.
That's exactly right.
And a chicken place.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They even got, and this fascinates me,
they got Bill Conti to do the music.
And Bill Conti, of course, for people who don't know,
among other things, wrote Gonna Fly Now, the Rocky theme.
But in this he's produced a real bargain basement Superman theme for the opening.
Just horrendous.
They've even got the swooping.
Title sequence, yeah.
Well, this movie and Superman 4 is the reason why Canon shut down.
That's right.
So I guess that's the aesthetic they were going for.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just his leftover stuff.
Just some tapes he left behind as he was running from the tax man.
So he-man in this.
None of us were ever here.
This is a pet shop.
So he- met in this.
Yes.
Played by Dolph Lundgren.
The wonderful Dolph Lundgren, who I love,
but I think he's out of his depth here.
I think, though, there's a reason for that
is because he's very early to acting.
He'd been Ivan Drago.
Ivan Drago, not a big speaking part.
Yes, that's true.
And he was still learning English.
By the way, this guy, real life genius.
Yeah.
Is he an astrophysicist or chemical engineer or something?
He keeps his knowledge in his big muscles.
Exactly.
Here's a note I have.
Sure.
Cartoon He-Man, generally speaking, doesn't have a cape.
No.
This guy has a cape most of the time.
And I think it's because Dolph Lundgren didn't want people to see his bottom.
Well, I saw his bottom.
Did you?
Sometimes.
Even the scene at the end
where the cape is stripped off him and they're whipping him with a
laser whip, you never see below his waist.
Maybe I just imagined seeing his bottom.
Maybe you just imagined seeing his bottom. But I think
the lesson here, I think, is
Give us a look at your bottom.
The lesson here is, you know, even if you're just
an absolute, you know, chiseled
Adonis of a man, you can have, you know,
the world chips away at you and gives you little insecurities
and also work hard a dummy.
Get those glutes working.
Absolutely.
So what's interesting about that is he wanted to wear like a longer pants
because he's in like little leather underwear, which is, that's he, man.
But I mean, you know, chafing issues, especially if you're running.
Totally.
And they wanted to put him in like little underpants and like big boots.
And so the way they convinced him, no, the big boots and the leather underpants,
that's much cooler and much more masculine.
So that's why he's in it.
He was like, I don't want to wear this.
And they're like, that's cool, trust us.
It's cool and normal.
So apparently some stipulations for the character of He-Man in this is
no love interests, can't kill
anyone. So that's why all the stormtroopers are robots, right? Also, they went to him and said,
listen, you're big. We love how big you are, but we've got a problem. You're too big. You're gonna
have to do all your stunt work yourself because we can't get a stuntman who's as big as you.
Also, we don't want to pay for one. It was a lie. Yeah. It was that big. Yeah,
you're absolutely right. I've encountered the Canon group before.
So Dolph Lundgren
said in a French magazine
just after this was released
that working on this film
was a nightmare.
The shooting schedule
was five months
and included two months
of night shooting.
And imagine just being
this big all of the time.
Right?
That's hard work.
I know people are like,
yeah, roids and et cetera
and whatever,
but it's still very difficult
to look and maintain this because he's not doing it for like aeroids and et cetera and whatever. But it's still very difficult to look and maintain this.
Because he's not doing it for like a 30-second shirtless scene.
He's shirtless the entire movie.
Yeah.
You would think that at a certain point you'd go, oh, they're on Earth now.
He'd better disguise himself.
And maybe he puts on a pink shirt and they call him Adam or whatever.
That'd be a bit of fun, right?
But no, he's got to be shirtless and oiled the entire movie.
And speaking of shirtless and oiled,
so Frank Langella plays Skeletor,
and he wanted initially for him to look more like the cartoon,
as in, like, less covered up.
The opposite of Adolf, you know?
Yeah, sure.
But Gary Goddard, who was the director...
I want everyone to see my bottom, said Frank Langella.
So Gary Goddard objected to Frank Langella showing off his body in the movie
because he didn't want Skeletor to be sexy.
So this was dropped.
Well, I mean, you know, the internet has proven him otherwise.
It's too late.
Yeah.
He's very sexy.
Good makeup on him, I reckon, as well.
I think so, too.
This Skeletor, as a kid, terrified me.
Absolutely shit my pants saying this.
And even now, coming back to this, like, 30 years later, I'm like...
Yeah, bowels are rumbling.
Yeah, as I see it at first, I'm like, huh, it's that guy I was afraid of.
So Frank Langella actually went on record in an interview stating that playing Skeletor was one of his favourite roles.
I think his kids wanted him to do it.
Yeah, his young son was a huge fan and loved running around the house shouting,
by the power of Greyskull.
So he took on the role. He even wrote some
of his own lines like, tell me about the
loneliness of good, he-man. Is it equal
to the loneliness of evil? When I heard
that, I went, shit, that's like a real line in a
real movie. This is Shakespeare.
Somewhat. This is oily
Shakespeare with laser guns. Well,
Evelyn's like, there's something Shakespearean
about, you know, her and her relationship with Skeletor, and he's like,
I just quest for power and whatever.
By the way, fucking sick second outfit, Skeletor.
Right.
Love what you're going for there.
Really good.
You look fucking amazing.
Disagree?
No, I firmly agree.
Isn't it interesting, though, that He-Man's magic sword is only magic
for, like, the last five minutes of that movie?
What do you want, Mason?
I'm magic the whole time.
Yeah.
I don't really love the design of it, either.
They could have used the classic design, but there's a reason why they didn't.
We'll come back to it.
Is it money?
Probably, but another thing.
I also love some of the designs in this.
There's four freaks, right?
Just some good, scary creature design.
There's four freaks who have an awful lot of trouble
tracking down one teenage girl from Earth.
Yeah, man.
They're running her a merry chase, bloody.
She was in...
Friends.
She was in that Bruce Springsteen film clip.
Of course, that's right.
She's dancing on out of there, Mason.
Okay, cardio's good is what you said.
Yeah, okay, I love that.
Did you see the lizard guy's got an inflatable neck?
Apparently he had a straw in his mouth
so he would inflate it on the go.
Those four, and I know some of them aren't classic He-Man characters.
Blade was new.
Blade's new.
Beast Man's from whatever.
But I think that's very Castle Grayskull, Snake Mountain, He-Man.
I think if they'd given them a little bit more colour,
they'd be more authentic to the cartoon.
But I guess you bring it to the real world, they're all going to wear black.
I feel like though this movie
I haven't mentioned this, it's
not that bad. It's not that good.
It's not that good either.
I know, but I feel like
the Earth stuff in the middle. I mean there's a
battle in the streets and they bring
in some of their weird ships to Earth.
I think all of that looks pretty good and there's
some compositing of things flying around which is pretty Earth. I think all of that looks pretty good and there's some compositing of things flying around,
which is pretty fun.
I think it's good for the budget they had,
which I presume was very low.
It's higher than you think.
Recently on our podcast, The Weekly Planet,
we've been sort of bemoaning this idea of like
all big blockbuster movies have to cost like $200, $300 million.
Well, I love that.
You're bemoaning.
That's right.
And if they don't make a billion dollars, they're considered a failure. And we've been like, well, million dollars. Well, I love that. You're bemoaning. That's right. And if they don't make a billion dollars,
they're considered a failure.
And we've been like, well, maybe, you know,
the presence of the low to mid-budget movie
will reemerge in Hollywood.
And I'm like, what an incredible idea.
And then I rewatch this and I'm like,
oh, maybe I spoke too soon.
Maybe there's a flaw to that.
Don't go too low.
I appreciate that.
But I feel like...
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and there's a final battle and they bring over Martyy mcfly's principal and he's like i'll fucking i'll shoot i'll shotgun some robots or whatever or whoever
yeah just some freaks yeah i love all of that come with me tom paris from star trek voyager
we're gonna team up i feel like there's like a little bit of effort going on there okay and i
loved at the end of the movie that was that was the canon groups uh motto a little bit of effort
a little bit of effort if you don't mind a little bit of effort. A little bit of effort, if you don't mind.
A little bit of effort and a lot of tax evasion.
But no stuntmen.
No stuntmen.
We can't afford it.
Yeah.
But I love that character also.
At the end, he's like, well, I don't go back to Earth.
I can shoot anybody here.
And I've got a beautiful woman.
That's right.
I live in this castle now.
I can shoot her if I want.
And bring me another one.
So here's the thing.
The reason it is the way it is is because this is based on the toys and not the-
That's the name of the making of.
This is the way it is.
Whether you like it or not.
This is-
It's based on the toys, not the animated series.
Okay, sure.
And if you did the animated series straight up, you'd have to put in like the tiger.
Oh my God, then it was never a tiger.
Never a tiger. Oh my God, then it was never a tiger. Never a tiger.
Yeah.
Also, this is the first time I'd experienced a post-credits scene.
Oh yeah.
Skeletor's coming up and he's like, hello, I'll see you again.
That's right.
I'm just lounging in this pool.
I'm having a lovely time.
Absolutely.
But no, we didn't.
There was going to be a sequel, which we'll get to.
But before we do that, let's talk trivia, Mason.
All right, let's do it.
Or as I like to call it, Masters of the Unitrivia.
Masters of the Unitrivia.
Yeah.
So Mattel, the toy company that produced the original He-Man toys,
ran a contest where the winner would get a role in this new He-Man movie.
Ooh.
Yeah.
Do you think we can still enter?
Yeah.
I mean, the guy won it already, but yeah.
Recently? No, he won it in 1986 when this was filmed. Huh. Yeah. Do you think we can still enter? Yeah. Great. I mean, the guy won it already, but yeah. Recently?
No, he won it in 1986 when this was filmed.
Huh.
Yeah.
So the production was under a great deal of pressure to finish on time and under budget,
so director Gary Goddard had to squeeze the contest winner into the shoot.
The winner.
To squeeze him into a costume.
Yep.
The winner, Richard Siponda.
Okay.
Is Pig Boy, who hands Skeletor his stuff when he returns from Earth.
And he's even listed in the end credits.
But at a 2012 PowerCon panel on the film,
Richard Zponda stated that the night after he filmed his cameo in the film,
his face was burning and he was in agony from the removal of the mask,
which was glued to his face and was ripped off.
Oh, no.
Well, they ought to run.
Yeah.
From the IRS, probably.
Exactly.
You work in a pet shop.
The Skeletor Mask actually found new life.
Speaking of Star Trek.
It's pronounced Skellingtor.
The Skellingtor Mask found new life in Star Trek The Next Generation
and Star Trek Deep Space Nine
as the face of a skull-faced alien that Worf often fights in the holodeck.
Oh, there's a lot of little Star Trek references in this.
Not deliberately.
Lasers, blasters.
Tom Paris, for example.
Guy falls down a pit.
Chelsea Field, who plays Teela, married to Scott Bakula.
Scott Bakula.
It was in Star Trek Enterprise, yeah.
And Scott Bakula rhymes with Dracula.
That's right.
Frank Langella played Dracula. Scott Bakula. It was in Star Trek Enterprise, yeah. And Scott Bakula rhymes with Dracula. That's right. Frank Langella played Dracula.
Whoa.
Probably.
God, everything in Hollywood links together, doesn't it?
Probably.
Nepotism.
It's nepotism, isn't it?
Probably.
Yeah, probably.
Christina Pickles, who plays a sorceress.
Okay.
And Courtney Cox, who plays Julie Winston, apparently, went on to play mother and daughter
in Friends.
Friends?
You didn't recognise her from Friends, but I did.
I didn't recognise her from Friends
because I just knew her as, in this movie,
as a woman who's wearing a jean jacket made of jeans.
Oh, yeah.
See that?
Incredible.
That's the 80s, baby.
Do you think that's a real Sarah Connor situation at the start,
where she's like, I'm working in a restaurant.
Hope nothing fucking weird happens.
Yeah, I think it was. Also fun, they were like, let's give this character a restaurant. Hope nothing fucking weird happens. Yeah, of course.
Also fun, they were like, let's give this character an arc.
You don't have to.
Don't worry about it.
But she's like, oh, I always feel sad because my parents said,
let's go up in a plane.
And I said, oh, I won't go up in a plane.
And then the plane crashed.
So I think it's my fault.
How is it your fault?
That's a very specific thing that your parents are doing. Yeah. And at the end. Your problems aren't like my problems, is what I'm saying's my fault. How is it your fault? That's a very specific thing that your parents are doing.
Yeah.
And at the end.
Your problems aren't like my problems is what I'm saying, Courtney Cox.
That's right.
But then at the end, she gets sent back in time.
She's like, you can't go on the plane.
I'm stealing the keys.
And then her boyfriend shows up and she's like, I've solved the problem.
You sure?
You sure about that?
You sure about that?
You sure he doesn't have a spare set of keys?
Or he'll get the keys back from you because you're a child?
Maybe this is what caused it in the first place.
Right?
This is a time loop.
Oh, my God.
The loop is closed.
Yeah.
Now, in the official Masters of the Universe comic book adaptation,
an alternate ending is used that was written for the movie
but never filmed.
In the comic after the final battle between He-Man and Skellingtor,
Man-at-Arms, Man-at-Arms is in this.
He sure is.
He comes from the depths of Castle Greyskull,
carrying a NASA and a United States flag.
The NASA flag has Starfinder 5, July 10th, 2,221 written on it,
revealing that the first humans on Eternia
were actually from a future American space mission.
Huh.
Yeah.
Did you ever think about that?
I have never thought about that,
and I will never think about it again after this.
Oh, a dog's here.
Hello, Wally.
Come here.
How'd you get in here?
How'd you get in here, dog?
Production designer William Stout took an existing...
Stout by name, stout by nature.
I don't know about that.
Here's a picture.
Took an existing fast food stand in Lakeview Terrace
and transformed it into Robbie's Ribs and Chicken,
where Julie Winston works, according to Stout.
The same fast food...
I forgot I put this in.
The same fast food place was later the site of the infamous Rodney King beating.
Oh, boy.
God.
We can still take this out.
It's history, Mason.
I guess.
That's what we're all about here.
God. Dolph Lund're all about here. God.
Dolph Lundgren went on record in 1989
with Comic Scene Magazine where he
said playing He-Man was his lowest
point as an actor. Oh boy. He did
alright. Yeah I think he did. You were He-Man.
Yeah. Anyway he's been asked since like
more recently if they make another He-Man will you be in it?
And he's like oh yeah. Sure yeah.
You got money? You got money. You got a stunt man? Yeah stuntman yeah you got money a stuntman do i have to take my shirt
off because i'll be the king or whatever we're the king of eternia that's a fun little reference
that's a fun little reference that people like to do these days you get the old guy you make him the
king of the father of the new guy or whatever exactly no people love that that's right but
he has to show his bottom yeah the king has to show his bottom. Yeah, that's true. He has to show his bottom. Man. That's great. Yeah. So the budget of this was $22 million.
Okay.
More than I thought.
And it was the most expensive canon film.
But the box office was $17.3 million.
That's less.
I feel like this should have done more like the cartoon.
How do you mean?
And then kids would have turned up.
Oh, yeah, right.
You know?
It's like the Super Mario Brothers movie, the first one.
Like, kids aren't going to this.
What have you made?
What is this?
You know?
Look, I don't know.
But, I mean, this property, the toys were, like,
the biggest selling thing for, like, four years in a row.
But as I understand it.
It made billions of dollars.
During the filming of this, the sales dropped.
Like, they started dropping.
So, I mean mean maybe this thing
was doing from the start what is i think weird about this movie is that despite the fact that
it is based on a toy franchise it seems to have been at least in part like some kind of labor of
love like they got in like you know they got it like you mentioned they got in ralph mcquarrie
ralph mcquarrie to do some for a bit for a bit to do some of the designs i think people involved
in the production wanted to get jack Kirby in to do, like,
art design and stuff like that.
And, like, why would you bother with that
if you didn't care?
Yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
They thought about some of this.
They were like, this is for adults.
They were ahead of their time.
They were.
Why?
But it didn't pay off.
Yeah, so too bad.
You made a big mistake.
Why did you do this?
Yeah, why try?
There was going to be a sequel, though.
Oh, yeah.
A Masters of the Universe sequel
was actually written and cast. Masters of the Two Universe? Yeah, that try? There was going to be a sequel though. Oh yeah. A Masters of the Universe sequel was actually written and cast.
Masters of the Two Universe?
Yeah, that's right.
They would make that sequel and a Spider-Man film back to back.
And the sets from the two movies were built, the costumes were made, both movies were fully
cast, and the budget of Masters of the Universe Part 2 was set at $4.5 million.
That's low.
It's way less.
Now you might be like, how would you get around that though?
Well, I mean
It would be set entirely
In a closed shopping mall at night
Oh no the cosmic keys
Trapped us in here
We'll have to do a chase
On one of these little
Cars you put a coin in
And it goes up and down
Should we go into
Any of these shops?
No we're not allowed to
Could we go into
This athlete's foot shop?
No
No we can't
The roller door is down
We won't be going in
You can take up to Two donuts from the donut king, though.
So the actor they cast in the sequel was surfer Laird Hamilton.
Okay.
Laird by name, Laird by nature.
That's right.
Can we see a picture?
Yeah, there's a picture.
Okay, great.
He's still around.
Australian.
And the sequel's screenplay, you're not going to believe this,
He-Man would have returned to Earth,
which was the best part of the first movie.
And he gets a job in an apartment.
Kind of.
And he was disguised as a professional quarterback.
Okay, sure.
And Skeletor disguised himself as an evil industrialist
known as Aaron Dark.
This didn't happen because Canon went out of business.
Yeah.
You know?
Also, like, I know they talk about making another He-Man
and there's that series on Netflix,
which I think does some really interesting things.
I know people say, look, it's woke He-Man or whatever,
but this He-Man's from like a vegan planet or whatever.
What do you think about that?
That's right.
Because man, Teela's like, oh, what's this?
This is yucky stuff.
And Man at Arms is like, it's a bit of meat.
Also, He-Man's gay.
Like, are we? Oh, we're not beating around the bush anymore. He's always bloody bit of meat. Also, He-Man's gay. Like, are we?
Oh, we're not beating around the bush anymore.
He's always been gay.
Like, the thing about him being Prince Adam and becoming He-Man,
it's obviously like a coming out metaphor.
It's an allegory.
Come on, man.
What are we doing here?
That's crazy.
It's not crazy.
Very reasonable.
It's reality.
It's reality, baby.
It's right.
But I feel like there was
a time to make this, and it
was in 1985, probably.
They missed it. Oh, they missed it by two years.
And so, if you're
going to do this now, I just
don't know whether anybody wants
that or cares. You have to build a whole
franchise from the ground up
that's basically Star Wars when
you've got Star Wars and you've got Dune and you've got Zack Snyder's Star Wars.
That's right.
Like, what are you doing?
You've got Gareth Edwards' Star Wars.
You've got Gareth Edwards' Star Wars.
There's a lot of Star Wars.
You've got the Star Wars in people's heads that they imagine when they think of Star
Wars and no Star Wars is ever good enough.
And every subsequent Star Wars is way worse because it's not just Luke Skywalker wielding
16 lightsabers with the force, just cutting down AT-ATs or whatever.
Yeah.
You can't compare to that.
You certainly can't do it with He-Man.
You read my screenplay.
I did.
It's bad.
It's dreadful.
Come on, mate.
Anyways, anything can be good
I mean
I love
The world of Eternia
Yeah
It's fucking weird
It is weird
And I think
You know
And much maligned
But I think Thor the Dark World
Sort of
Sure yeah
Took the torch of that
And did this kind of
Combination of science and magic
That I think looks pretty cool
But I'm the only one apparently
Yeah
You like the bit
Where the guy's arms cut off And he's like, I got blood arms.
Yeah.
Yeah, I like that.
I might put that in my screenplay actually.
Which you loved?
Yep.
And now I do.
You're not going to get a writing credit.
Can I be Bobby Blood Arms?
You can be Bobby Blood Arms.
Yes.
Anyways, if you like these videos.
And why wouldn't you? Yeah, why wouldn't you? What's wrong with you? You can actually see them early, yes. Anyways, if you like these videos... And why wouldn't you?
Yeah, why wouldn't you?
What's wrong with you?
You can actually see them early.
Get it together, God.
Get it together.
You can actually see them early
if you head over to bigsandwich.co
where they always go up early.
But there's a bunch of other stuff there.
There's bonus movie commentaries.
There's video game Let's Plays.
Our podcast, The Weekly Planet,
where we talk movies and comics and TV shows,
that comes out there early on Sunday
as opposed to Monday, and all of that is ad-free
and exclusive. Terrific. But of course, maybe
you just want to subscribe here or check out our podcast,
The Weekly Planet, which comes out every Monday
as mentioned. And why wouldn't you?
Why wouldn't you? Get it together.
Yeah. Alright, everybody. Thanks
for watching. What do you think of He-Man?
Not you, James. You've already given your opinion.
I like him. That's pretty clear. I like him. But the listeners and the viewers, What do you think of He-Man? Not you, James. You've already given your opinion. I like him. That's pretty clear.
I like him.
But the listeners and the viewers, what do they think?
I don't know.
I'm testing out sound off in the comments.
Sound off in the comments, folks.
Give us your opinions.
Yeah, tell us your opinions.
Give us your piddling little opinions.
Tell us what you think about Kevin Smith's woke He-Man.
I want to hear about that every day for the rest of my life.
Just from people being like, I'm mad at this. I want to hear about that every day for the rest of my life.
Just from people being like, I'm mad at this.
I want to hear that.
Have you ever had a weird dude in a skeletal costume do a 20-minute video where he's like, you don't get He-Man.
Has that ever happened to you?
He's gay.
I get it.
I fucking get it.
Yep.
All right.
Thanks, everyone.
Grabbed our gym, you guys.
We'll see you next week.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
All right. Thanks, everyone.
Grab that gym, you guys. We'll see you next week.
Goodbye.
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