The Weekly Planet - Minisode - The Hobbit 3 (Is Terrible)
Episode Date: January 5, 2015Our first episode in 2015 is %100 Middle Earth! From how The Hobbit trilogy came to be to that last film that just came out. And that’s it. What fun. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more ...information.
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Welcome back everybody to another mini-sode of The Weekly Planet, official podcast of comicbookmovie.com.
My name is James, editor of that website with me as always, my co-host Nick Mason.
Woo! I'm full of sugar and caffeine and popcorn. Let's do this.
And almonds.
I had some almonds.
Yeah, for energy.
Yes, absolutely.
Sometimes we do that, don't we, before the show.
Don't, don't. That's a little peek behind the camera.
Well look, I say mini-sode because we were either not going to do an episode this week or we're just going to talk exclusively about The Hobbit because people want to know our
thoughts on that for some reason.
Do they?
I feel we're too late.
Oh, we are.
We're well too late.
But look, there wasn't that much news this week, probably.
I haven't really been looking at it.
I've been away and stuff.
What have you been doing?
I never look.
Business as usual, then.
Yep, correct.
Great.
So what we're going to do, I think.
Yes.
We could do a brief run through of how the Hobbit films got made.
Oh, yes.
Briefly.
Talk about the new film and the trilogy in general.
And then we'll just cap it off, mate.
Great.
Just a short one.
Just a minisode.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
You cool with that?
Yeah, totally.
But if you want to talk about something else, that's also cool.
Look, I'd like to talk about the government.
No, I don't want to talk about the government.
All right.
So do you want me to just talk about how this started, this Hobbit trilogies?
Yeah, let me.
Well, I would like to.
Is there some sort of, is there controversy?
There's controversy.
There's like rights here and there.
There's like directors dropping in and out.
There's a knife fight. Oh, yes. Del Toro and Peter Jackson. That's right directors dropping in and out. There's a knife fight.
Oh, yes.
Del Toro and Peter Jackson.
That's right.
In a New Zealand car park.
Oh, great.
Wow.
Whatever the New Zealand Sainsbury is called.
I don't know.
But yeah, so this started in like 95.
That was when Fran Walsh, who was one of the writers and producers of the Lord of the Rings movies,
one of Peter Jackson's collaboration partner.
Oh, yes. She wanted to Rings movies, by Peter Jackson's collaboration partner. Oh, yes.
She wanted to make these movies with Peter Jackson.
And they were going to originally make The Hobbit.
Like, that was the idea.
Three movies.
First one based off The Hobbit.
Second one, Lord of the Rings.
Third one, Undisclosed.
I don't know.
The Simmering Lemurian?
Maybe it's like a remake of Animal House or something like that.
It's unrelated.
They were like, look, we're just... Ultimate ultimate dream is to make a new European vacation film.
Yes.
This is how I get there.
Once I got the juice from these Hobbit films.
Straight into it.
So, yeah, but the thing was, though, the rights of the Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit were
with separate people.
I thought of another one.
They were with separate people. Sep's a caviar. Exactly. I thought of another one. They were with separate people.
And the rights holders of the Hobbit thought,
well, they're not going to make Lord of the Rings.
They'll make the Hobbit because that's the one that you make.
So I'll hold out.
Yeah.
Is that really?
I'm assuming so, yeah.
And for whatever reason.
There was a bunch of legal wrangling
and eventually they just went,
we're just going to make Lord of the Rings.
Huh, okay.
Fuck yeah.
Yeah, absolutely. We're doing this. So, and because they're obviously, we're just going to make Lord of the Rings. Huh, okay. Fuck yeah. Yeah, absolutely.
We're doing this.
So, and because they're obviously, they're very different stories.
The Hobbit, if you did that as a movie on its own, it's kind of a light kind of fairy tale kind of, it's a kid's book.
Way more than the Lord of the Rings books are.
Yeah, true.
Which both of us have read.
In bits.
I've read the Wikipedia summary.
Some of it.
I tried to read Lord of the Rings.
So, yes, instead they went ahead to read lord of the rings so yes instead
they went ahead with the uh the lord of the rings trilogy and then like in the mid-2000s
peter jackson there was a a lawsuit where peter jackson up went up against new line who were
distributing the film uh-huh financing it i don't know whatever for rights to a lord of the to a to
a fellowship of the ring video game or something oh Oh, right. Okay. And so that...
Because this is Hollywood accounting.
Exactly.
Was it a case of like, you've made all these toys and lunchboxes and video games.
Yeah.
And I'm entitled to that as the director of the film because I created that visual.
Yeah, because of the interest.
Right, right.
Well, what I believe happened was he had a direct hand.
There was a Two Towers game and there was a return to king game
and had all the cast they were really good for the time i don't know if they hold up right but
like all the original cast let's assume yes yes and they were they were pretty great but i think
there was a lord of the rings game that was not based on the movies right and i'm guessing this
is just lord of the rings extreme bowling yes Lord of the Rings extreme volleyball
yes
sexy
sexy as
so maybe that was
what it was about
maybe there were
some other games
I'm not sure exactly
so one of the
co-founders of
New Lion
whose name is
Robert Shea
was
basically said
you're a greedy
son of a bitch
Peter Jackson
we will never
work with you again
we're done
this is after all three Lord we're done this is after
all three Lord of the Rings
this is after
it was
yep after that
so this was like
mid 2000
so like 2006
or 2007
but
oh there's a twist
in the tale
New Line then had
like a string of flops
I remember that
like it might have been
like maybe Eragon
was one
remember that
dragons and
sorcery and whatever
see there they were like
we don't need Peter Jackson.
What we'll do is we'll create a film with one of the characters from Lord of the Rings name, but slightly tweaked.
Yes.
Like Aragorn's close enough.
Whatever.
People see this.
We're geniuses, because we're in the film industry.
Have you ever seen those?
No.
Or that?
No.
It's the same with the Narnia films.
The Narnia films I definitely got ground because of The Hobbit.
Right.
I'd imagine.
And I've only seen one of those and I didn't really care for it, quite frankly.
So the Eragon series, that was a series?
That's a book series.
Book series.
Yeah.
But there was only one film?
I believe so.
Okay, right.
Look, there may have been two, but if there was, I don't know.
You remember the...
There's no way to check.
No.
You remember the...
Did you see the Chronicles of Narnia, the first one?
No.
It's very confusing. Not like... I understand it. And I think... Did you see the Chronicles of Narnia, the first one? No. It's very confusing. Not, like, I understand it.
There's a lion, there's a witch, a wardrobe.
I'm pretty sure New Line actually made those, because a lot of it was also filmed in New Zealand.
They don't have the exclusive rights to film in New Zealand. New Line.
I don't know.
Well, Avatar. Avatar filmed there as well.
Not the last Airbender right the the other
one but uh the good one i guess yeah i've not heard any good things about yeah the other one
but um you remember though that that movie there was like santa claus turns up and gives them
weapons at one point i'm sure this is in the book huh and at the end it's like white tigers fighting bears fighting unicorns fighting horse
men and i'm like who's who i don't know like i don't know who's who am i got was the snow leopard
a good leopard or about i don't know uh-huh but anyway not the point uh so basically after a
spring that would have been confusing yes now that i mention it maybe they could have had little
collars with little that's like red red stone. Or one of them's running left, one of them's running right.
Better.
Yeah.
But because after those movies, or a lot of these movies flopped, they...
I love being a bad unicorn.
All the unicorns could have yelled.
In unison.
Yeah.
Yeah, so basically they wanted Peter Jackson back.
They're like, nah, man, we're joking.
Jokes.
Sure.
You know.
So he came back on purely as a producer for The Hobbit, right?
But he didn't want to direct them because he didn't want to compete with his previous
films, which makes sense.
Because I guess, especially when you look at something like Star Wars, like you look
at how that went.
Oh, yes.
How did that go?
It made billions of dollars, mate.
Yeah, you're right.
Yeah.
That's a podcast for another day.
A Minnesota for another day.
And the idea was, we'll do two films, 2011, 2012.
And there's a whole bunch of legal wrangling about those being pushed back and whatever, whatever.
And Del Toro was hired.
Do you remember that?
Yeah.
At one point as director.
So he was very much on board.
And his films were going to be kind of vastly different
than what we actually ended up getting with the Hobbit trilogy.
First of all, there was obviously two, as originally envisioned.
There would have been more animatronics and stuff
because the Hobbit films are very kind of CGI heavy,
especially with creature stuff.
Boy, was it.
And so the first movie would be the tale of the Hobbit, pretty much,
and probably killing the dragon.
And the second one would then evolve into Lord of the Rings.
So it would have been a very, it would have been a
Gimero del Toro unique visual style for the first one,
and the second one would slowly meld into Peter Jackson's world.
Right, right, right.
Which sounds pretty good.
Well, that's what they attempted with the Star Wars prequels yes and as we mentioned billions of dollars yes so
smart move del toro yeah so like and i like the idea of that because i think i know we'll talk
about that a bit and why there's there are two cgi heavy but ian holm who was the original bilbo
baggins was going to come back oh yep not that del toro said our problem with swapping him out for martin freeman because you saw ian
holm in the the new one right he looks he looks quite old oh yes yeah and it doesn't really
line up like gandalf you can kind of he looks pretty much the same the kellons look the same
for a really long time but yeah so but he left in 2010 because it just kept getting pushed back
and whatever whatever they threw up some other directors that you may be familiar with who might, you know,
they might get on board.
Neil Blomkamp, who did District 9, who's, he was going to do the Halo movie and he's
worked with Peter Jackson before or whatever.
Brett Ratner.
Oh, yes.
Mistake.
The rat, sure.
David Yates, who did some Harry Potters.
Oh, okay, sure.
And David Dobkin, who I wasn, who I had to look him up.
If anything, David Dobkin should have done some Harry Potter films.
His name's David Dobkin.
Yes.
Fred Claus.
Sure, okay.
The Change-Up.
I think that's the Jason Bateman, Ryan Reynolds one where they change it up.
I think.
Where they pee into a fountain and then mind swap.
I haven't seen it.
Oh, yeah, okay.
Either that or some sort of sperm swap.
Yes.
Might've been that one.
That was the delivery man with Vince Vaughn.
Oh.
And that was the one where he had lots of different kids.
I don't know.
It doesn't matter.
Maybe you're thinking of the movie sperm swap.
I probably think of sperm swap.
But he also did the judge,
you know,
that Robert Downey Jr.
movie that came out this year that nobody saw.
Yep.
That would apparently was just okay.
But look,
fans didn't like any of that idea.
And I remember at the time thinking as well,
I don't know if I want Del Toro to do it,
I'd rather Peter Jackson come back.
Oh, yes.
But in hindsight,
sometimes fans don't always know what they're talking about, Mason. I'd say in almost all cases.
Yes, definitely.
So Peter Jackson agreed to come back and split it into two films
and the films
were going to be split.
Now you've only seen
the third Hobbit film
is that right?
There's a bit
at the end of the film
Because god damn it
I wanted to see if it
held up on its own
as a film.
That's why.
Also too lazy to go back.
Yes.
I would have wished
those two movies upon you.
But no, they're fine.
But the split was going to be there's a bit bit at the end, and this happens at the end of
the first Hobbit movie, where the eagles rescue them.
Oh, yes.
As they always do in these movies.
I've seen a lot of eagle rescue in those films, in Lord of the Rings.
And then that second movie would have been The Desolation of Smaug.
Oh, yeah.
And what you watched.
Right.
Just hours ago, is that right?
You've just come back from it.
Yeah, just come back from it, yeah.
Yeah.
You look kind of pale.
Yeah, well.
But then in 2012 it was confirmed
they were going to turn it into a trilogy
and the third movie would make extensive use
of the appendices that Tolkien wrote,
I think in Return of the King,
or The Lord of the Rings, sorry,
to expand the story of Middle-earth.
Great.
So that's what we got in the end and
i guess in some ways your your tolkien fan would want that yeah sure moviegoers maybe don't want
that no so that that's basically how we got here oh yes that's the story of me and you oh yeah
wonderful yeah so on the back of that uh of that, what would you rather have seen?
A Del Toro or a Peter Jackson.
Or even two or three or whatever.
Or one.
Or none.
Or some.
Oh yes.
Or a Minnesota.
Oh yeah.
Just a brief summary, it's Del Toro and Peter Jackson just being like, how about we put this in?
Look, there'll be some spiders and a dragon and the a sword and a ring. The eagles will come in.
Ring turns invisible.
Remember from the last one we did.
Yeah, we'll do that.
I mean, yeah, that's what we're doing.
Yeah.
Ah, look.
Well, see, I don't feel that, because I only saw the last one.
Yeah.
I didn't really feel that it was crushingly boring and long.
Okay, yeah.
But I just saw the one.
And I'm like, well, I get, I can, I've read The Hobbit. I know that he met with, that he, Gollum and got the ring and long okay yeah but i just saw the one and i'm like well i get i can i've read the hobbit i
know that he met with bloody golem and got the ring and whatever and all that sort of stuff so
there's your there's your mini so and look i didn't hate it it didn't feel too long i think i
would i think maybe two movies would have been my limit. Yeah. In particular. Well, I just,
for me,
and I, I didn't,
I didn't hate it,
but I really felt burnt out.
I've seen these movies over three years.
Like I haven't gone back,
but like 10 minutes in,
I'm just like,
Jesus Christ.
Like,
just,
I see for me,
it's been since return of the King came out.
I haven't seen it.
Like 2003.
Yeah.
Something like that.
Yeah.
So when you're a baby,
when I was a baby,
exactly.
So yeah. Okay. Fair fair enough like a popcorn milk in cinema okay fair enough so i was like yeah this is kind of kind of a welcome return so like a breezy kind of yeah not breezy
sorry that's the wrong word yeah just the welcome return yeah for all your favorites
well cast okay cast wise bilbo what did you think of martin freeman good i'm glad he's Sorry, that's the wrong word. Just a welcome return. Yeah. For all your favourites. Well, cast.
Okay, cast-wise.
Bilbo, what did you think of Martin Freeman?
Good.
I'm glad he's in things.
He's good, isn't he?
Yeah.
He's really good.
He's good in things generally.
Yeah, he really is.
He's often the best part of the things that he's in.
The Office, is he?
He's a very good part of The Office.
Sherlock Holmes.
I'm going to say probably the best part of that.
More than Benedict Cumberbatch?
Okay.
Yeah.
What about... More than the version of Moriarty that everybody hates.
Definitely.
Who's going to be the new Bond?
Oh, that guy.
I hope he does the voice.
Sherlock!
I'm crazy.
I don't mind that.
You know what?
I'm good with it.
I don't mind that portrayal of Moriarty.
Okay.
I know it's completely against the style in the books, but that's fine.
I'm okay with it.
Sure.
Well, you know,
whatever.
Modern interpretation.
Also, I think that guy
is definitely going to be
a good guy.
He's going to be a good guy
that switches over
to the bad guys
and then you...
Ah, James Bond film.
Okay, yep, yep, yep.
Sure.
Because if you looked
at the press conference,
he's seated with the bad guys.
Oh, they ask kind of this.
But they're like,
he's an MI6 agent.
But then they put him
with the bad guys.
Yeah. Tip. Tip. Anyway, we're talking about The Hob... He's an MI6 agent. But then they put him in the bad guy. Yeah.
Tip.
Tip.
Anyway, we're talking about The Hobbit or whatever.
Yeah, yeah.
So yeah, Bill Boy...
Luke Evans.
Luke Evans.
Yeah, solid, I think.
Luke Evans, it's the best film I've seen him in this year.
What other films have you seen him in?
None.
He's in one of the...
He was in Dracula last year.
He was.
He was in...
Yeah, good point.
He was in Fast and the Furious 6
as a villain
yeah
and Statham's in the new one
and Statham's his brother
spoiler alert
he's like
I want revenge
because you Luke Evan's
my brother
or whatever
so there's revenge
oh yeah sure
so that's pretty good
yeah look
if anything
this movie
does Luke Evans play the same character
in everything
yes
sort of stoic guy
stoic guy
no the stoic villain in Fast and Furious.
Was he stoic?
He was pretty stoic, yeah.
Okay, cool.
That's pretty good.
But if anything, this movie could have used more Luke Evans.
Less dwarves, more Luke Evans, more Martin Freeman.
Less what?
Starting with D?
Dwarves.
What did I say?
You said dwarves.
I don't know, but a lot of people say dwarves.
But I don't care for it.
There's no little apostrophe, is there? Dwarves. Dwarve. Like D-ves. And I know a lot of people say dwarves, but I don't care for it. There's no little apostrophe, is there?
Dwarves.
Dwarve.
Like D-or.
Oh, like hors d'oeuvres.
Yes.
Right, okay.
I would have done with more hors d'oeuvres.
Yeah, definitely.
I nearly went with the luxury package.
It was like 40 bucks.
What do you get with that?
You get a little duck.
This is us padding out the Minnesota.
You get free popcorn and drink.
You get little duck pancakes.
No, this is true.
Where did you go?
Just the regular cinema.
You went to the rich person's cinema, didn't you?
No, it was the white cinema, just the regular one.
And then you can get little crepes and stuff.
Okay.
They look pretty good.
Little sliders.
Okay.
And they bring it in or did you go in with it?
I didn't go in.
You didn't go in with it, did you?
No, I didn't spring in for the luxury.
Okay, fair enough.
Would have been a waste yeah well you're right
yeah
and you would have felt
real bad about yourself
what are we talking about
oh yeah
hors d'oeuvres
hors d'oeuvres
yeah I think
less dwarves
more Bilbo
more Gandalf
more Evans
and I know
it's a dwarf story
yeah
can we say
I don't like the way
I say it
I say it like this
but I just felt like
this is my goal
that's been achieved
to make you feel
self conscious but I feel like it wasn't my goal that's been achieved to make you feel self conscious
but I feel like
it wasn't
even though it's
supposed to be
a dwarf story
they're not very
interesting are they
like I've seen
three of these movies
and I'm like
who's that one
I don't
like I know
they look very
different
I know that
but
no you're right
other than
Thorin
yeah and the
handsome one
oh yeah
the one that's
not really a dwarf
yeah
who's clearly like
Just a short elf
Yeah
Aside from those two
They're pretty much
All interchangeable
Yeah
Like some are sort of
Blondish
And some are sort of
Red haired
There's a big fat one
Yeah
A couple of ladies right
Isn't that the
No
Not in this
Are they
No not in this
I thought the dwarf
I thought dwarf women
Also had beards
They do
But I don't think
Any of them are ladies
I reckon one of them was
I reckon the one with
blowing the horn
red hair
I reckon that was a woman
email in listeners
email mate no
at wikipedia brown
tell him specifically
send me wikipedia links
great I'd love it
Gandalf obviously
yeah
but all those dwarves
are interchangeable
yeah
but I mean
because it's
it's unfair to compare it
to like fellowship because the fellowship is clearly written as very distinct different races or
species whatever you want to call it original old couples a series of original couples that's right
and this is not as much so best part of hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy martin freeman there we go
although um bill nighy no what's his face he's a a rapper. Zonk. No, not Zonk.
He plays Ford Prefect.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
Oh, God.
Oh, Sam Rockwell's really good at that as well.
Exactly.
Yeah.
It's a shame Stephen Fry's great at it as the narrator.
Alan Rickman's the robot.
Yeah.
Everybody's pretty great.
What's his name, that rapper?
I know who you mean.
What's his bloody name?
Oh, um, it'll come to me.
Wait.
He did that song with Ed Kowalczewicz once.
Yeah, he's part of Blackstar. Most Def. Most Def, that's right. Yeah. Great, we got there in to me. Wait. He did that song with Ed Kowalczewicz once. Yeah, he's part of Blackstar.
Most Def.
Most Def, that's right.
Yeah.
Good.
Right, we got there in the end.
Fantastic.
Okay, so would you say that, having seen all three, do the dwarves have much of a character
arc?
Are you kind of confused?
Not really.
I'm not confused.
I just don't care.
Does Thorin very rapidly go mad because of the gold?
Yeah, it's kind of
It's kind of alluded to
Oh spoilers by the way
Yeah spoilers
It's kind of alluded to
In the last one
But then he kind of doesn't
Just sweet left turn
Into madness
Yeah yeah
Sweet left turn into madness
And that probably happens
In the book
I don't know
Well it would
Yeah
Not a great
Not a great character progression
No
What about
Legolas
Legolas
He definitely looks older
Doesn't he
You know what
some people in the cinema
I heard behind me went
ugh
like when he came up
wow
and you can't
I think you settle into it
yeah that's true
but initially I'm like
like they have done
some work on that
like I think it's mostly
makeup work
and I think there's a lot of CGI
to make him younger
but it doesn't really work
no
but you go okay, it's uncomfortable.
You know what?
Aside from that, aside from Legolas, Legolas?
Dwarves.
Dwarves.
Legolas or Dwarves.
You know how with the Star Wars prequels,
you really shouldn't watch them first.
No.
You know, there's some weirdly specific
you should watch
New Hope
Machete Cut
yeah you should watch
New Hope
Empire Strikes Back
2 and 3
yep
and then
Return of the Jedi
and skip one
skip one entirely
yeah
well I really think
The Hobbit
based on the last one
I've watched
you should probably
watch The Hobbit first
yeah
The Hobbit films first
and then The Lord of the Rings only then The Lord of the Rings. Only because
The Lord of the Rings looks so much better.
We'll get to that.
The rest of the cast though.
Kate from Lost.
Galadriel.
Hugo Weaving was in it
for 30 seconds. He sure was.
That's how it was Cate Blanchett.
Yeah, that is Galadriel.
You're thinking of Kate from Lost as
the other one.
The one who falls in love with the little elf.
Yeah, Galadriel.
That's not Galadriel.
Oh, I can't remember.
You idiot.
I don't know.
But yeah, it's cast well, isn't it?
Yeah, sure.
Yeah.
Like, you know, everybody's fine in it.
Except for the guy, you know the guy.
Eh.
Oh, yeah. Painful. Eh. That guy.
Painful.
Didn't he get a real kind of story arc, didn't he?
What was his story arc?
He kind of...
He's a weasel man.
He's a weasel man.
He escapes death a couple of times and then dresses as a woman and runs away.
Yeah.
And why did Luke Evans be like, he's like, I'll be your second in command.
And he's like, oh, right.
Like, you hate that guy.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, why would you,
you take someone you trust
to, like, protect your kids.
You don't pick the weasel man.
Yeah, who will
gladly betray you
for some gold.
Yeah.
Exactly.
And he didn't get a comeuppance
and maybe he doesn't
in the book.
Probably, yeah.
No, no, no, whatever.
Yeah.
Did you think it was, like,
too CGI heavy, though?
Very much so.
Yeah.
Do we have any more
casting notes?
Anything else?
No, I don't mean it.
You go waving.
He was there for a minute.
You're right.
Christopher Lee.
Looks exactly the same.
Looks exactly the same.
Boy, that...
Yeah.
Just think of Christopher Lee
doing the actual stunts in that film.
Just swinging a rod around.
Just flipping over stuff.
It's not happening, is it?
It's Dooku all over again.
So that was
like
in terms of cowboy switching and
like stats and stuff it was good pretty good i guess yeah i actually didn't mind that bit yeah
okay with the and they fought all the the wraiths yeah so that was pretty good and you got some
sour on them whatever oh yeah that was pretty good and that kind of that christopher lee thing led
into him being corrupted where he's like i'll bloody take care of this. Yeah. But he didn't. That's true. What a dickhead. Ha ha.
So, oh, what about that weird Cate Blanchett freakout?
Oh, yeah.
That didn't look good.
What was that?
Yeah.
Like, I know it kind of matches up in the original Lord of the Rings and Fellowship
of the Ring.
She has a similar kind of freakout.
Uh-huh.
Do you remember?
I remember it, but I remember it looking a lot better.
Yeah.
And making more sense, sort of.
This was just like, what?
Yeah. Okay. do we have any characters
left? Little handsome
dwarf. Yes. The family
of that guy. Oh yeah.
Take him or leave him. Take him or leave him. What about the villains?
The guy with the blade for an arm and the other one
with the face plate. Oh yeah
they look good. They um
again I'm not sure how much CGI. That's
all CGI. There you go. That's um
the guy who's the Blade for an Arm man.
Yeah.
Azog?
I don't know what his name is.
Bladesaw.
Yeah, Bladesaw.
That's Deadshot.
Not Deadshot.
The other one from Deathstroke from Arrow.
Oh, there you go.
What's his face?
Yeah, what's his face?
Huh.
So that's pretty cool.
I feel like, though, for those guys in particular, Blade for an Arm, that's pretty cool i feel like though for those guys in particular blade for an arm yeah
that's a good character model they've clearly put a lot of effort into that guy in particular yes
the other ones not as much um and is that the case because the what's the most recent video
game shadow over model yeah shadow of model shadow of model shadow getting your model they've they've Shadow Over Mordor? Yeah, Shadow Over Mordor. Shadow Over Mordor. Shadow, get in your Mordor.
They've put a lot of effort into the orc captains, right?
Yes, they have.
And, you know, if you injure one and he escapes,
he comes back scarred from where you attacked him or what have you.
Yeah, busted him. And I think that's what they've gone,
we've sort of got to tie that together.
Let's make these orc captains very distinguished,
you know, very distinguished. Yeah.
Very distinguished with one on the blade arm,
the metal bits in his face, et cetera, et cetera. I think one is also the son of the other one in that.
Oh, okay, right.
Yeah.
I think the metal plate face, this is just from memory.
Plate face is the son?
Plate face is the son of blade arm.
Okay, right, sure.
Uh-huh.
Fantastic.
Good to know.
Did you like the weird rivalry that he had,
the plate face had with Legolas?
That carried over from the last movie.
Oh, I didn't really notice.
I just thought it was happenstance that they both fought at the end.
No, they fought in the last one as well.
Okay, right.
So that's a real rivalry.
Yeah.
Did Legolas put the plates in plate face's face?
Plate face already had plate face.
In his face.
But Thorin also, that guy's an enemy of Thorin.
I think that guy killed Thorin's grandfather or father.
Plague Face can join the long list of Hollywood villains with things in their face.
Like Diamond Face from Die Another Day.
I'll think of some others later in there.
Absolutely.
Yeah, definitely.
What about the weird...
So, yeah, if we're talking CGI.
Talking CGI.
We're up to effects.
I felt things like...
Even when you'd see a horse run, sometimes it would do a
weird little CGI shift.
Huh.
And I don't know whether that was just me, but maybe it's the 48 frames per second thing
or whatever.
I saw it in regular frames per second.
Oh, okay.
You know what?
2D, regular size screen.
I did see 2D as well.
Regular frames per second.
See, I...
Because it has to stand up as a movie.
I saw it on a VMAX, which is like a slightly bigger than a regular screen.
And I could see things like the wig mesh oh really interesting yeah because it was it was so
bloody clear so that's a mistake on that's yeah and that's what they said as well with the first
one because you can you can see um makeup and prosthetics when it's that clear yeah yeah but
when you film it with regular film or even regular digital,
that's kind of over.
So would you recommend that John Travolta
be in a 48 frames per second film?
Yeah.
Well, I want to see it.
Yeah, you do, yeah.
He doesn't want it.
He does not want to see that.
Yeah, so,
especially during the opening sequence
where Smaug is destroying the city,
that felt... I was like, oh, they're is destroying the city, that felt, that, that, I was like,
oh, they're an entirely CGI city.
Yes.
I don't know if it was or not.
A lot of that was built.
Right.
No, it doesn't.
It didn't look like it.
No, because it's got the fire backdrop and whatever.
But a lot of that, you see a lot of that in the last film.
Right.
Also, that sequence, there were two sequences that I really enjoyed.
That sequence, that was kind of terrifying.
Right, right.
And then it was over very quickly.
Oh, yes.
And that dragon's quite menacing.
Benedict Cumberbatch is the dragon.
Ah, okay, there you go.
He obviously plays a bigger part in the previous movie.
Oh, that's fun, because then it's Martin Freeman versus Benedict Cumberbatch.
Okay, that's quite clever.
Do you get it now?
I get it now.
It makes this one about the same, because they don't interact in this film.
So great.
Yeah, so I liked that part.
The dragon looks great.
You're making the snappy hand motion.
I'm making the snappy hand.
There was also talk like they were never going to do a simian kind of mouth of the dragon.
A simian mouth is much easier to replicate talking.
Oh, yes.
That dragon beak, not as much. But it still looks good. I think it's more impressive in the last one. dragon uh-huh simian mouth is much easier to replicate like talking oh yes the that dragon
beak not as much but it still looks good i think it's more impressive than the last one right
because it's the first time i saw it anyway uh-huh but did you care for the dragon i thought it looked
pretty good it had kind of like a nice kind of alien-ish quality yeah like he's got like he'd
sort of crawl his way through the city on like the he's got like little wing hands yeah yeah
and that was quite you're right quite terrifying yeah but uh yeah he was the best part of that but the
the city i feel the city did not look good okay fair enough yeah i think that was definitely
better in the last one or you saw more of it right okay so yeah so go back i won't i won't
i thought also was this hang on what was the second part you really liked? Oh, the bit at the end where Blade Arm is under the ice.
Oh, yes.
And that was quite creepy.
Because you're kind of like, is he kind of dead or whatever?
And that was kind of clever how he dropped him into the ice.
Yeah.
I don't know how he got out of the ice.
From that point, I'm like, don't care for that.
Maybe there was some ice under him and he kicked off the ice.
Good point, he could have.
I always find that odd in movies where somebody can leap out of the water.
Yeah, yeah.
With no...
Like, off nothing.
Right, exactly.
So, I don't know.
Maybe orcs can do that, I guess.
Very springy.
What about the CGI Billy Connolly face?
Um...
Was that CGI?
No, I think that was makeup, right?
It didn't look right when I saw it.
It was way off.
Because it didn't look exactly like Billy Connolly.
No, it didn't look like him. It looked like a CGI
face. Oh, right.
Yeah, it did not look at all like him.
You're right. But I think that's just the...
Because you have...
You have a... You know. I think it's
because the Billy Connolly voice is so distinctive
that if it doesn't look exactly
like him, it's confusing. Okay, fair enough.
I don't know. I don't think it's just me. I think that's
off. Alright, fine. Email Mason.
No! Damn it!
What are...
The battle sequences, though.
They're all, obviously, a lot of that
CGI. Yeah, and as we're talking about
with, you know,
the
orc captains quite distinctive,
others not very distinctive. Yeah.
That, I think, worked against it quite a lot.
Yeah.
It did look like they just got 10,000 versions
of the same character model and put them all together.
And obviously these were all not...
Like, they just used prosthetics and, like,
Orc masks in the last one,
except for when you draw back and then it's a CGI thing.
But that's very noticeable that they are CGI.
I thought so, yeah.
And, like, even things like when you see an animal running, like whether it be a warug.
Yeah, sure, a warug.
Those weird kind of hyena things.
Or the pig.
Yeah.
Though I think that reindeer, it's not a reindeer or something, like a moose, was it?
Oh, sure, yeah.
I think that was animatronic when it was up close.
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Oh, sure.
It looked animatronic.
Animatronic moose.
Yeah.
I may be wrong, but yeah.
That was, what's his name, Lee Pace.
Yeah, from Guardians of the Galaxy and Pushing Daisies, as we mentioned.
Yes, and younger than Orlando Bloom in real life.
So that's very noticeable in that movie as well.
Yeah, like if you remember the first Lord of the Rings,
there's the scene at the end where Sean Bean is killed repeatedly.
He's killed so many times.
And that kind of has that kind of it is
quite visceral and it does feel very real
and there's blood
and the orcs are very
they look like they're there
they feel very individual
yeah
and that was part of the plot that wasn't one of them
kind of like a special
I've been to that location and it just looks exactly like that
yeah
but I felt that was quite visceral and quite real and these were just sort of a special yeah and i've been to that location and it just looks exactly like that yeah yeah like
yeah but i felt that was quite visceral and quite real and these were just sort of
pixels running into each other it looked okay yeah exactly like it's all framed beautifully
and it's all very colorful and nice and it does it's it's an amazing achievement yeah it's just
it's probably it's just too much i think there there were a few, especially after the city is burned in the first scene.
Yeah.
That looked quite CGI and I think they kind of felt like, well, we have to do some big establishing shots of New Zealand just to show how epic the scope is.
Yes.
Or real or whatever.
Because this is in one location.
Yeah.
So there's just a scene where they're just walking across some rocks and greenery.
Yeah.
And they do the stirring music and they just kind of wander across
and nothing happens.
And like, there's no,
there's nothing particularly Lord of the Rings-y
or Hobbit-y about it.
The music.
They're just walking across New Zealand.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
It felt a little kind of manipulative.
Okay, right.
Yeah.
It definitely to me felt like
it wanted to be like the Return of the King
of Hobbit movies.
Oh, sure.
In terms of like scope and scale.
Right, right.
It did have a lot of endings.
It did have a lot of endings, didn have a lot of endings Which I guess is not
Like you do have to wrap up
All the disparate storylines
And join it into
Yeah
The Lord of the Rings
At the same time
But was Billy Connolly's face real?
Look
But no
Like the blood
Like this is completely bloodless
It is isn't it
Yeah
There's some beheadings
There is
Yeah there's a bit Yeah he gets them on the moose and he slices the head.
Oh, he beheads them all with the moose?
Yeah.
At one point, Handsome Dwarf beheads some people.
Yep, sure.
He's got a name, doesn't he?
Yeah.
In both real life and this movie.
Whatever.
Who cares?
Handsome Dwarf.
Did you like the love story?
Yeah, kind of.
Really?
Yeah, kind of. Okay? Yeah, kind of.
Okay.
Yeah.
That really surprises me.
It gives hope to short people to get tall, attractive girls.
I'm just saying.
Sure.
It hits home a little bit.
Okay.
But, but, what about at the end when she's like, why does it hurt so much?
Oh, yeah, that was a bit, yeah.
And he's like, because it's real, man.
And she's like, sweet.
Yeah, great.
Come on.
Yeah, no, that was no good yeah And he's like Cause it's real man And she's like sweet Yeah great Come on Yeah no that was no good
Yeah
Yeah
Anyway
I thought the very tiny bit of chemistry
They had was pretty good though
Yeah sure
Okay fair enough
Kate from Lost
Yeah
Speaking of that
The
I don't know what it is
But the
Perspective tricks they used in this
Yes
Much more jarring I thought
Oh really okay
Yeah
Did you think better Or do you think about the same I didn't honestly I didn't The only one I really noticed perspective tricks they used in this much more jarring i thought oh really okay yeah did you
think better or do you think i didn't honestly i didn't the only one i really noticed was wet was
between them on the shore of the river the between kate from lost and the handsome one yes and that's
very you notice it right because i thought especially when when blade arm fights thorin
at the end yeah like when they finally i'm like that's jarring. Like they didn't do enough
to establish their relative heights
before they met.
Oh, okay, that's fair.
And I'm like,
well now that's a little weird.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, yeah,
because you kind of,
you forget that they're dwarves,
don't you?
Yeah.
Because they're all kind of
standing around shortish.
Exactly,
and it's almost all dwarves
speaking with dwarves
and elves speaking with elves.
And then a dwarf up in a castle
shouting at you.
Yeah, exactly, yeah,
at a human or whatever.
And then it gets to these,
and you're like,
oh, that's actually quite jarring
that they're all different heights.
You know?
Yeah, fair enough.
Did you like the bit
where the elves ran over
the back of the dwarves?
Looked dangerous.
Yeah, probably was.
Didn't care for it.
Probably an occupational health
and safety nightmare.
Did you like the bit
where the worms popped out
and then disappeared?
And then disappeared
and nothing happened with the worms.
Yeah, that was unnecessary.
I guess they helped.
Yeah.
They did their...
See, they're the eagles of the orcs world.
They show up when they need to and then they bugger off.
Right, okay.
Actually, I was going to say, when we're talking about character models, the giant orc creatures,
you know, the ones with the catapults in their backs and the ones that smash through the...
They all looked exactly the same.
Okay, yeah, fair enough.
And I didn't care.
There was one that had a little arm. One did have a little arm yeah yeah yeah okay but other than
that i thought they all just got this they again if they if you're going to distinguish
the you know blade arm and plate face yeah if you're doing bigger character models i think
you need to distinguish them more like if you've thrown these giant creatures into battle more than
once yeah they're going to be all scarred up and whatever yeah they're going to be scarred up I think you need to distinguish them more. Like, if you've thrown these giant creatures into battle more than once,
they're going to be all scarred up and whatever,
and they're going to be scarred up differently.
If you're throwing them into walls,
they're going to have, you know, torn up faces,
but they're going to be different.
Did that one die that flew into that wall?
It seems that way, yeah.
It looked like he snapped his own neck.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, given that Legolas could also kill them all with one arrow each,
they couldn't be that resilient.
I mean, I'd imagine that they're special arrows and he's a great shot at whatever as well.
Whatever, hit him in the jugular.
He looks pretty old though, doesn't he?
Yeah, boy, does he?
Yeah, that's fair.
He did, yeah.
I think also there's more of that than there was in the last one.
Like in the first Lord of the Rings, there's one.
Yeah.
And I think by the time you get to Return of the King, there's a few more.
But this was a lot
yeah
and yeah you're right
they should have really
I think so
make a pink one
make a blue one
exactly
make a red one
green one
one has a katana
one has a bow star
exactly
and then they all
smush together
become a giant giant one
exactly
yeah that's it
also
speaking of Legolas and bad CGI and all the other stuff we've
been talking about roundabout yeah there is the scene right at the end when the bridge is collapsing
and he leaps on the falling rocks yes and gets that like a video game yeah like a collapsing
mario i mean it's i guess at that point you're either invested in the world or not so that was
the breaking point i guess which is weird because there's giant monsters and and eagles flying about and a dragon or whatever
yeah but and i understand he's light and agile or whatever but unless he weighs nothing unless
well he there's a bit in the first lord of the rigs where he walks on snow and everyone else
is sinking through it and he's just walking on top yeah i guess even then yeah yeah i guess so it was very lighty light it was like you were just
happy to see those two characters finally have their showdown absolutely plate face and legolas
yeah definitely oh so good is this one of those things though that does this make you want to
either go and watch the original trilogy or watch the ones prior to this?
I'll probably skim through Hobbit 1 and 2.
Okay.
Like, I'll zip through.
Go to the dragon bit.
I'll watch the Martin Freeman scenes, probably.
Does Gandalf have any good scenes?
A little bit.
Does Saruman have any good scenes?
Yeah, he's got some...
Does Christopher Lee have some good scenes where he's confused as to why he's there?
Christopher Lee's only in this one out of the first one.
Right, okay. And he's at a council meeting and they're like Christopher Lee's only in this one and the first one. Right, okay.
And he's at a council meeting and they're like,
listen, there's probably darkness in the land.
And they're like, yeah, maybe.
It's like one of those scenes.
Oh, great.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So that's pretty good.
But I think all the Christopher Lee stuff
was also shot in England
because you wouldn't fly him to New Zealand again.
No, absolutely not.
The altitude would definitely kill him.
So, yeah.
At the end of this, I wasn't like, Absolutely not. The flight would, the altitude would definitely kill him. So, yeah. So, so, so,
but you,
at the end of this,
I wasn't like,
oh,
lovely.
It leads into the Hobbit.
I mean,
these are the Lord of the Rings because they're like,
go and see a ranger.
He could be the king.
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
What's his name?
Don't worry about it.
Like,
okay.
And I would have,
I like,
I would have liked to have seen him,
but I know Viggo Mortensen hates these movies.
Oh, interesting.
I didn't know that.
Like, he hates the originals.
He's kind of bad-mouthed them.
Does he hate the fandom, or does he hate...
I don't think he likes...
I think he...
Did he have a bad filming experience?
I don't think he did.
Did he get trenched for it?
No, he probably did.
I don't think he did.
He said something along the lines of, they only really mapped out the first one properly,
and then they had to go back and reshoot a lot for the second two.
Because otherwise, if that first one didn't do well,
they would have been straight to DVD.
So he said there wasn't really a plan in place,
and there was a lot of reliance on CGI by the end and whatever.
So the three Lord of the Rings films weren't filmed back-to-back?
They were, but there was a lot of going back and filling in the three Lord of the Rings films weren't filmed back to back they were
but there was a lot of
going back and filling
in the blanks and stuff
okay right
yeah
so they basically said
okay we'll
film most of the scenes
for the first one
yeah
we'll put that out
if it does well
yeah
we'll finish the rest
yeah
we'll fill in those blanks
and I don't
and maybe the studio
wasn't entirely aware of that
right okay
but that's how that's how it happened, yeah.
Okay.
And he didn't like the constant reshoots?
I'd imagine not.
But I know also he built a good rapport with the other cast.
Yeah, they all got tattoos and stuff.
Yeah, they all got tattoos and shit.
I wonder if everyone got Hobbit tattoos.
I doubt it.
I doubt it very much.
I know John Rhys Davies?
Uh-huh, yeah.
Is that the...
Gimli.
Gimli.
He was the only one that didn't get a tattoo
because he was allergic to the prosthetics.
Oh, right.
And so he had this horrible reaction.
But his stunt double,
like the guy who you stand in,
who was actually that size,
did get the tattoo.
So, yeah, there you go.
And apparently him and Orlando Bloom became really close.
So much so they now live together.
Oh, that's nice.
It's not true.
In the Hobbit huts.
In the Hobbit huts.
In New Zealand.
Yes.
So what about the bit at the end where Bilbo's like,
and that's the end of my story.
And then Gandalf's like, I'm here for Lord of the Rings.
Yeah, no, that was a bit much.
Yeah.
Is that the same scene as the...'s yeah it's pretty pretty much the same
from bill lowe's perspective more right you see it from ganos perspective i think in the in the
original i believe i might be wrong and so that was yeah i didn't like that no good bad uh my probably the part that i enjoyed the most towards the end was the bit where
thorin throws the rock into the hands of yeah that was good that was good wait what and then
he falls into the water that was my favorite part probably yeah did the audience laugh at any point
during there was a there was a i think there was a bilbo line from yeah i think there was a Bilbo line from Martin Freeman and somebody laughed there was something like that
was it light?
I guess
I recall some of the Lord of the Rings films being
lighter in tone
there was a lot of Legolas Gimli
back and forth
where they've got this fun rivalry
which is a lot more fun I think
than 12 men who look exactly the same
yeah there's a dishwashing scene in the first one oh yes it goes for it's a song and they wash
dishes great goes for like four minutes huh not i'm not joking because they didn't have podcasts
back then so they needed to do something while they wash dishes sure but yeah i don't know what
about the bit when in the i'll just jab it around the bit where they're like
we're losing this battle
I'm Billy Connolly
where's Thorin
and he's like
I'm here
and like eight guys run out
and they're like
the tide of battle's
gonna turn now
yeah exactly
I thought
because the big bell
comes crashing through
yeah
and then they all come out
and then you see
like some
some wooden metal
and whatever
and I guess that was the bell
but I expected them
to have some sort of
war vehicle.
Oh, okay.
Like a chariot or something.
Or like in the last one, they melt down a bunch of gold and just pour it over the dragon.
Yeah, see, that would have worked.
Yeah.
Exactly.
But that was Smaug, right?
So it didn't kill him.
Okay.
No, because Smaug was all right.
Oh, yeah.
He's all right.
Yeah.
That was a special arrow that killed him.
I don't know if you noticed.
Yeah, magic arrow.
Big one.
Real big.
Big one.
Just a big one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Got him.
Where'd that come from? He had it in his heart it was hanging like some some stuff up like
some groceries oh sure i'm not joking it was something like that so yeah there was another
bit of one wait i know this is in the book like lake town there's so much land and you're not that
far the town that burned down the town that burned down yes you're not that far... The town that burned down. The town that burned down. Yes. You're not that far from the land.
Why not live on the land?
And then go out and fish like a regular person would.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, don't live in a weird, gross, wooden town in the middle of nowhere that's made of all wood near a dragon that you know is there.
Uh-huh.
And he's got to wake up eventually because he's a dick.
Yeah.
Like...
Ah, look, I'm just going to say The Magic of Middle Earth.
Okay.
Yeah.
You got me, I guess.
Yeah.
It's probably some prophecy or something.
Or like an old song about some hero who lived on the ocean or whatever.
I think as well, the Luke Evans guy is clearly like the Aragorn guy.
Or Aragorn, if you will.
Uh-huh.
You know how like, I never understood this about the first Hobbit.
I mean, the first Lord of the Rings movie
And the books
Aragorn's like
I feel the burden
Because my
My great
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grandfather i believe or it might have been father who initially wounded the dragon so he felt that
burden as well but i wouldn't feel that burden i'd be like i didn't do this yeah like i think like
you shouldn't feel that responsibility that's a good tip for life yeah if your father didn't
kill a dragon don't feel no pressure. That's not on you.
It's not on you, man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Look,
I'll be honest,
I'm glad it's over.
I'm glad it's done.
Great.
The people,
everybody I went with,
same thing.
They're like,
we're done.
We're glad we're finished.
Interesting.
And look,
I didn't hate it.
Sean Willits,
actually,
our animator friend,
working on something
cool at the moment.
Interesting.
I'm going to show you
some stuff, actually.
But he loved it.
Yeah.
He loved everything about it.
And I can understand why you would.
People are saying that this is like the best one since the original trilogy or even the
second or third best one movie that's been made.
Yes.
I don't feel that way, obviously.
But you do.
Yes.
I loved it.
It's the fourth best.
Is that for you?
I guess it's the fourth best.
Yeah. It's time with Return of the King. you? I guess it's the fourth best, yeah.
It's tied with Return of the King.
What happened in Return of the King?
Anything good?
I feel the high point for me was the two towers
because Gandalf fights the Balrog.
We see that happen.
That was sweet, wasn't it?
Drops a lightning bolt on it or whatever.
Bam!
Pretty good, right?
That was good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What were we talking about?
I don't know.
What best movie ever
worst movie ever
I'm gonna go
best movie ever
for Plateface
Plateface and Bladearm
who I think were a good
father son team
you know
really you felt the bond
yeah
you really
you know what
I reckon
I would have been
you know it was great
that the good guys won
yep
but it would have been great
if the bad guys won and then Bladearm and Plateface went been you know it was great that the good guys won yep but it would have been great if the bad guys won
and then
Blade
Blade Arm and Plateface
went fishing
you know
and it's sitting on a dock
just fishing away
you know
Plateface
pulls up a big fish
and then Blade Arm
just guts it
yep
right there
and then
they get a photo together
they get a photo
and they hug
that would have been
real good
you know
yeah
okay
look
I'm gonna say
worst movie ever
oh yes
because I just feel
this for me,
this whole ordeal,
and I didn't hate this movie.
It was probably the best.
It was a chore.
Oh, yes.
And every time I see
one of these,
about 10 minutes in,
I'm like, fuck.
Like, what am I doing?
I feel like that every time.
And there are some
great moments in it,
and I've said this before,
as soon as somebody
gets hold of these Blu-rays
and cuts them into one film...
Oh, yeah?
That's going to be...
How much do you think they can take out?
Most of the...
Let's say these movies...
How long are these movies all together?
Like eight hours, you reckon?
Yeah.
You reckon they could cut that down to...
I reckon they could cut it down to three.
Wow.
Yeah.
Huh.
Well, if you can cut all of the other Lord of the Rings movies...
Would they have to cut out Kate from Lost and Handsome Dwarf?
Yes, because they're not in it.
They're new characters.
Oh, for this third one?
Yes.
Oh.
And the second one, the last one.
They're not in it at all.
Legolas is not in this.
Maybe he's mentioned in the book.
Right.
But he's not in it.
No.
And, like, the dude who rides the moose is in it.
Oh, yeah.
But...
Obviously.
But, like like that whole bit
where Gandalf goes off
and has his little adventure
which
you saw the end of
in this movie
that's not in it
Gandalf just fucks off
and then he just reappears
so that's new content
for the movies
that's new content
they feel that in
was it a good adventure
that's alright
was it a
little
little fun
I think all you would need to do
was build
does he do any cool magic stuff
here's an issue for you Gandalf Does he do any cool magic stuff?
Here's an issue for you.
Gandalf doesn't do any cool magic stuff.
He does way more cool magic stuff than the last one.
Oh, maybe we should watch that then.
Yeah.
Alright, I'm going to watch Martin Freeman's scene.
But he never does cool magic stuff.
He'll shine like a light.
Lightning bolt.
Oh yeah, he does.
Why is that Balrog?
Yeah, that's probably the coolest thing he does.
Yeah, for a guy with unlimited power who can't die, he doesn't do a lot, does he?
But I think if you were to edit it down, and I'm not going to do this.
You know what? Even two movies is fine.
I think you could get two out of this.
But you'd go, you know, you've got the original bag and stuff.
You cut out the dishwashing scene.
Sure.
Right?
You don't need to focus on...
That's going to upset the purists, but whatever.
You don't need to focus on the dwarf relationships because they're all...
Even with this amount of film... It's disappointing for me dwarf relationships because they're all even with this amount of film
disappointing for me
even with this film
this
even with
they're this length
you get no
you get no kind of context
for their relationship
and whatever
some of them you do
you
you have them meet the trolls
you have them
go to the lake town briefly
have them meet the fuckers
meet the fuckers
and then you have them
go to the dragon
and then they kill the dragon
and then there's a battle,
and then that's it.
Okay.
Those are kind of what I imagine are the key parts from the book.
And then Gandalf knocks on the door and says,
it's time for Lord of the Rings.
And then that's it.
Right.
But, whatever.
If they're going to...
Look, I'd say they'll eventually make another one of these.
Yeah.
They'll make the Simmerman.
Oh, yes. Or do something else. I don't know what. What do you think? Do you think they'll eventually make another one of these. Yeah. They'll make the Simmerman. Oh, yeah, Simmerman.
Or do something else.
I don't know what.
What do you think?
Do you think they'll dabble?
I reckon they'll bust out one more.
Yeah.
It might go straight to DVD.
Oh.
I don't know.
Yeah.
I think I've said this before.
The first two made $2 billion worldwide.
Yeah.
I'm not sure what.
This one's doing incredibly well also.
Okay, right.
So, let's say just a bit under $3 billion maybe. Worst case scenario, $3 also. Okay, right. So let's say just a bit under three, maybe.
Worst case scenario, three billion.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, they'll get another billion dollars out of it if they release it in cinemas.
Probably the Silmarillion.
Maybe Adventures of Tom Bombadil.
What's he been up to?
We don't know, do we?
We don't know, exactly.
I reckon like some sort of diehard scenario.
Yes.
How about I would watch a bloody side call yeah and it's tom bombadil
like because you know it's very bold that they've written a gandalf like in a side adventure yeah
that didn't happen in the books yeah like you know this regardless of whether you think they're
well written or not to be like they're very well regarded and to just be like you know what we can
beat that we'll write our own stuff and it'll be just as good as the books kind of thing.
It is very bold.
So in the spirit of that, I say Tom Bombadil's sidequel where he's like, he's, I don't know
anything about the character.
I've just picked him because he's not, because he's in the books, but not in the film.
I reckon just a kind of a sidequel where he's like, he's like, you know know just sort of getting stuff done in the background kind
of thing yeah like he's blowing up bridges and he's you know so is he is he doing things that
help them like maybe he weakened that thing that legolas tipped yeah maybe yeah exactly
that we're talking about something like that okay fair enough cool i've just quickly googled
villains with things in their face. Oh yes.
Because you wanted another one.
Well, Jaws from the James Bond film does.
I don't think it counts because that's his jaw.
It's not in his face.
Yeah.
Thing in face.
Great.
They've got Anthony Hopkins here.
He's got his mask.
But I don't think that counts also.
No, it's got to be in their face.
Yeah.
Bane?
That thing looks pretty much in his face.
That's in his face, I'd say, yeah.
Yeah.
Because if you take it out, he dies. If anyone's got any villains who That's in his face, I'd say, yeah. Yeah. Because if you take it out, he dies.
If anyone's got any villains who have things in their faces...
In their faces, yeah.
Deadshot's got a thing in his face.
Oh, he does.
Yes, I mean...
Depending...
Penguin in the Arkham games has a thing in his face.
Like a bottle...
Bottom of a Coke bottle in his eye.
In his face.
Yeah, it's in his face.
That's pretty good.
I'm trying to look here.
Lobot from the Star Wars films.
He's got those things on his ears. Doesn't count. No, doesn't count. No, I'm just... I don't think there's to look here. Lobot from the Star Wars films. He's got those things on his ears.
Doesn't count.
No, doesn't count.
No, I don't think there's anything else here.
I'm sure there's some Bond villains that have things in their face.
Yeah, but branch out.
They've all got stuff in their faces.
Diamond Face is the king of those.
Boy, is he.
So that's The Hobbit.
Great.
And that, man, this ran quite a long time.
Yeah.
All right, how about...
Yeah, that's what the people want
do they
I had a lot of thoughts
for this film
we found quite middling
so
did you see some good trailers though
I saw Star Wars
on the big screen
that was cool
oh yeah
the Volkswagen trailer
I didn't see that
I've seen it
I saw like 25 minutes of ads
and trailers at the front of this thing
what did you see
Taken
Taken 3
actually looks really good well I say next week maybe instead of doing like a 2015 like most
anticipated we'll save that for when summer approaches as big blockbusters maybe and we'll
do next week we'll do maybe take and agent carter ant-man trailer because that's out this week as
well totally do that yeah so maybe you know but the people want something else just if you want
another hobbit one we'll do that, we'll do more Hobbit films.
Yeah.
How about we talk about the other two Hobbit films
and then you listen to them whatever order you want.
Listen to next week's first week and then...
Exactly.
Did you see they released the Ant-Man trailer in ant size?
I did, yeah.
What a bunch of dicks.
So you didn't like that?
No, it was funny.
I was like, that's pretty funny.
Yeah, I think...
Then they released it real size.
I haven't seen that yet.
Yeah, it's not much to it.
But you know what?
People are like, I hate trailer for trailers, right?
People hate them.
I used to hate them.
And so I started making trailer videos and I'm like, sweet.
Plan my week around it.
Yeah, nice.
So I love it.
You hate it.
I'm ambivalent.
You hate it.
Yes.
Oh, yes.
But Taken 3 looks actually pretty good.
As we mentioned before before it's not just
him plowing through like a hundred dudes i think that was the second one as well but the second
one's set over like two blocks don't watch it all right okay i'll watch it i don't care all right
well we'll see what we do next week yeah we might see something to do with trailers or upcoming
videos yeah movies or whatever would i be so bold oh yes as to sneak in a cheeky what we read and
what we're gonna read oh do Oh, do that, yeah.
Maybe I'll speed up
the theme song.
Okay, sure.
I'll do the theme.
I thought that was exhausting.
We got an email
from a guy called
Adam Gazowski.
Oh, yes.
And he's a colourer.
What's the word for
comics?
Colourist.
Yes.
He does the colours. Oh, yes. Like comic books. And he's a colorer. What's the word for comics? Colorist. Yes. He does the colors.
Oh, yes.
Like comic books.
And he's at the moment working on something called Nailbiter, which is like a horror.
Anyway, I'll read his email.
Oh, sure.
And then I'll tell you what's going on.
Definitely do that.
Do I have to read it super fast because we're doing this quick?
No, you're not good at regular speed.
So try and...
Oh, maybe super fast is your thing, though.
Hey, guys.
I color...
No, can't do it.
Hey, guys.
I colour comics
such as this one
which is the nail biter
I ended up listening
to a ton of podcasts
while at work
and look forward
to you guys each week
anyways I've coloured
yeah
anyways I've coloured
many a page
whilst listening to you dude
so I figured I'd shoot
you a copy of my book
thanks guys
fuck art
from Adam
uh Guzowski
that's his spirit
yeah
and you know what
yes
it's really really amazing excellent and i'm
this isn't like he full disclosure he gave he sent us a free copy like through comiXology or
whatever yes but if it wasn't good i would probably not bring it up like yeah definitely
yeah you wouldn't bring it up to pay out on here no i certainly like listen about this idiot yeah
colorist yeah what even is that but like i heard i'd like I heard of this, but I hadn't read it.
But it's basically, it's this small town where a whole bunch of serial killers,
specifically 16 serial killers have come from,
which is an unusual amount of serial killers.
Oh, yeah, definitely.
And it's basically, it's the mystery behind.
Is this a true story or is this?
No, no.
Are they bred there?
Are they, you know, is it a coincidence and whatever?
So it's this kind of murder mystery. And is it is it a coincidence and whatever so it's kind of murder
mystery and it's it's incredibly like visceral and and whatever it's amazing artwork and it's
it's a really really uh clever story it's it's image as well which is good so they they're on
a bloody roll at the moment yeah it's image comics but uh yeah i'd highly recommend it he
said it's the first volume but i downloaded the like four or
so issues that were after that so i bought them myself oh yeah afterwards so make of that what
you will definitely worth a read if you like horror comics like if you can kind of handle it
then yeah if not stay away mason yeah i'm terrified everything do you just pee on my couch yeah
anyway uh what i've been reading i uh I mentioned last week, I watched Black Mirror, White Christmas.
That's so good.
So good.
It was harrowing.
I love that show.
And it had a mind in a computer, which is my favorite thing.
Yeah, I know.
Exactly.
Johnny Depp in Transcendence probably got a thing in his head.
Yes, sure.
That's it.
Yeah, that show i
wish it was on all the time but they do like the last two episodes three episodes were at the start
of 2013 and this one was at the end of there was one at the end of last year and that's that's all
that we've had yeah yeah though charlie brooke who writes them he do you watch his 2014 white
the white no i haven't seen that yet. That's so good.
Especially if you're English.
He does like a recap of the year.
Which we are.
Which we are.
Does a recap of the year
and they're always
some of the funniest stuff
Pretty great, yeah.
I watched last year's,
it was really good.
Yeah.
So I'll get onto that.
He's bloody quality.
So yeah, what do you think
of White Christmas though?
Good.
I think
this one,
some of them have twists
and some don't.
Yeah.
And I,
without spoiling anything
you pick it
quite early on
I'm like
oh I see
you know what this is
when they introduce
a certain piece
when they introduce
an element
yeah
to it
I'm like
oh clearly then
that's what
is happening here
but I think the performances
are great
yeah
the ham
John Ham's good in it
the other guy
he's good in it
yes
he's in a lot of stuff
he's usually in comedies
but I can't pick
from which one
yeah me neither
whatever
anyway it's great
if
guys if you like
a harrowing Christmas experience
New Year's holiday experience
watch Black Mirror
doesn't have to be Christmas either
yeah just watch it anytime
anytime you want to feel bad
about everything
somebody once reached out
to me on Twitter
said I watched Black Mirror
I didn't like it
like anything
we recommend
give it 10 minutes
max if you don't like it whatever yeah anything we recommend, give it 10 minutes.
Max, if you don't like it.
Yeah, whatever.
Yeah, that's it.
Also, I just want to give a quick shout out to Billy Arundel,
whose birthday was on the 2nd of January, he turned 23.
He's like a big Patreon and Redbubble wearer, T-shirts and stuff. I see him on the Twitter stuff.
Yeah, he's a good dude.
So, happy birthday, Billy.
We did it.
Yep.
That's the show. Happy birthday, Billy sounds We did it. Yep. That's the show.
Happy birthday, Billy.
Sounds like a sad statement.
Like Billy's always an orphan boy.
Happy birthday, Billy.
I got you a new flat cap.
Yeah.
A new weathered flat cap.
That's it.
So that's the shortest show this week.
We actually did one under an hour.
There you go.
We did it.
Woo!
Unless I can pad this out over an hour.
I'll just go back and edit it myself.
Just go, oh, yeah!
Just every...
Well!
You know?
Yeah.
That's the show, man.
Grab that gem.
No, we're going to...
Contact.
Do you want to talk to us?
Okay.
We're at weeklyplanetpod at Gmail and Facebook and Twitter.
I'm at wikipediabrown on Twitter.
I'm at mrsundayMovies.
If you want to contribute to the show, it's patreon.com slash MrSundayMovies.
But don't feel any pressure.
I'm pointing to you, James.
I feel the pressure.
Yeah.
People on holiday, a lot of people have been Twittering me saying,
hey, I've been listening to your commentaries.
Yeah.
So we've still got those up.
Yep, they do.
And we still haven't done a new one yet.
No, we will.
But it's theweeklyplanet.bandcamp.com.
That is, yeah.
I think, yeah.
And I also want to do another video game,
Never Go Back thing.
Oh, yeah, definitely.
I don't know when, but you want to do that?
At some point before we die, we'll do those.
Yeah, definitely.
It'd be pretty great.
If you like the show, tell a friend.
Yeah, you know what?
Not straight away.
Yeah, tell a friend straight away.
Turn to the person next to you, whoever they are.
It doesn't have to be a friend.
Yeah.
If you're on the bus, just to the person next to you whoever they are it doesn't have to be a friend if you're on the bus just shake the person
next to you
if you're in a car
listening just
veer your car
into the car next to you
and when the guy
gets out to be like
real angry
just be like
listen
this is not what
I'm listening to
they're talking about
The Hobbit
and iTunes as well
if you want to rate us
on iTunes
we'd love that
or subscribe
or something
or subscribe
because that helps
I guess
somehow
we don't know that's a lot of plugs
I don't know how it works
a lot of plugs this week
you know what everybody's like
you listen to a podcast and everybody's like
yeah remember to rate us on iTunes and subscribe
because that really helps us out
what if it doesn't and everybody just
says that and then everybody else who does a
podcast hears that
yeah exactly it probably does nothing that being said if it does I don't still rate us because I don't know Says that. And then everybody else who does a podcast hears that. Well, that's how I'd know. Yeah, exactly.
It probably does nothing.
That being said, if it does, I don't...
Still rate us.
Because I don't know.
Yeah.
If we're the only people not doing it...
Oh, then we're buggered.
Yeah, we're at all sorts.
Totally.
So, yeah.
Anyway, that is a lot of plugs for this whole episode.
I love the specifics of how that works.
But anyway, yeah.
Yeah, we'll never know.
Anyway, guys, hashtag grab that dat gem.
That's the one.
Grab dat gem.
Happy holidays still.
Happy holidays.
Okay, bye.