The Weekly Planet - The First Return Of The Emperor - Caravan Of Garbage

Episode Date: December 19, 2019

Emperor Palpatine is returning for Star Wars Episode 9 The Rise Of Skywalker. But in 1991 Dark Horse comics released a sequel to the original trilogy that had The Emperor clone himself to go up agains...t Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia and Han Solo. Before we had Dark Rey we got Dark Luke Skywalker, plus the return of Boba Fett, Jedi Holocrons, force projection and amazing action sequences but in a comic! Thanks for listening.SUBSCRIBE HERE ►► http://goo.gl/pQ39jNBuy Dark Empire â–º https://amzn.to/2szIj26James' Twitter â–º http://twitter.com/mrsundaymoviesMaso's Twitter â–º http://twitter.com/wikipediabrownPatreon â–º https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesT-Shirts/Merch â–º https://www.teepublic.com/stores/mr-sunday-movies The Weekly Planet iTunes â–º https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-weekly-planet/id718158767?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 The Weekly Planet Direct Download â–º https://play.acast.com/s/theweeklyplanetAmazon Affiliate Link â–º https://amzn.to/2nc12P4#StarWars #TheRiseOfSkywalker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:01:05 Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates Did you know, Mason, before this current sequel trilogy There were a slew of expanded universe materials That worked off the Skywalker saga into all manner of adventures Yes, I'll not be answering any follow-up questions Okay, fair enough, well I don't have any Goodnight The one that I want to talk about today relates to the rise of skywalker because both of them deal with the return of
Starting point is 00:01:29 lightsabers yes not only lightsabers but the emperor himself oh this was the first but he's dead well yes he is dead but not in this for long or maybe he is oh we'll talk about it at the end because there's a bit of a twist on this whole story it turns out anyways if you could leave a like on this video, that would be great. That wouldn't be a twist. That would be a straight up good guy or girl thing to do or not do, but do it. You've gone mad. I know.
Starting point is 00:01:54 Just what's happening here. Okay, so this was conceived of in 1988 and released in 1992. Six issues. Four years. Yeah. Well, it takes time. You've got to draw the characters. I get you right
Starting point is 00:02:05 you gotta draw them that's true you gotta get them all in you gotta get your Mark Hamill in you gotta let him pose for all the things
Starting point is 00:02:11 correct he's busy they're all busy Harrison Ford's doing all sorts of stuff in 1991 he's busy this is by Tom
Starting point is 00:02:17 Air Force One mid 90s but yeah the fugitives he was thinking about doing Air Force One he was doing a fugitives they're like
Starting point is 00:02:23 can you come in and can you pose for this and he's like no I'm thinking about making the movie Air Force One. He was doing a fugitives movie. They're like, can you come in and can you pose for this? And he's like, no, I'm thinking about making the movie Air Force One. It's by Tom Veitch and Cam Kennedy. Oh, who I know from 2000 AD. Absolutely. And this is set... Jack's Dread.
Starting point is 00:02:35 Jack's Dread. That's right. And this is set six years after the Battle of Endor. So the Emperor has been destroyed. Darth Vader is dead. The Ewoks have peed on his grave. That's right. They all circled around it. And they laughed and they laughed. has been destroyed. Darth Vader is dead. The Ewoks have peed on his grave. That's right.
Starting point is 00:02:47 They all circled around it. And they laughed and they laughed. There's a whole mini-series about that. That's right. It's called The Ewoks Pee on the Emperor's Grave. And he's not happy about it. He's not a fan. So Luke and Lando were stranded on the war-torn planet of Coruscant.
Starting point is 00:03:02 What an unlikely pair. I know. And an unlucky pair. That's right. Because they were both stranded. Oh, you know it. Did. What an unlikely pair. I know. They're an unlucky pair. That's right. Because they were both stranded. Oh, you know it. Didn't they get along? Yeah. I was going to say.
Starting point is 00:03:09 They didn't have many adventures together, but yeah, I would say they would. Yeah, nice. They've done some expanded universe stuff, Shadows of the Empire and so on and so forth. So Leia, Han and Chewie are on the way to rescue them because what's happening at the Imperial Centre, like city where this is,
Starting point is 00:03:21 there's a big civil war between the remnants of the Empire, right? They're vying for power. Oh, yeah. The Falcon's zipping through. There's a big civil war between the remnants of the Empire, right? They're vying for power. The Falcon's zipping through. There's amazing animations to accompany that. I did these ones. That's why they don't look that good. No. They say, don't they, if you're making an animation and putting it on YouTube,
Starting point is 00:03:36 start with your weakest animation. Totally. Really draw the audience in, you know. So this is where we're reintroduced to Luke Skywalker. He steps out. He wrecks some battle droids with the Force, and AT-AT attacks, right? But he's got a Force shield around him, so it just kind of pings off him,
Starting point is 00:03:53 and then he just brings it down with the Force. Oh, now this is the Luke Skywalker everybody was hoping for. You know it. Post the original trilogy. But that being said, there are a lot of parallels between this and The Last Jedi Luke. Hey, does he ever, like, they think it's Luke Skywalker, so they attack him, but he's actually not there? Like a coward?
Starting point is 00:04:10 He's on another planet? Like a coward? Okay, without giving anything away, Luke Skywalker projects himself three to four times in this comic. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, so there's precedent. There's precedent. For him being a coward.
Starting point is 00:04:22 Like in The Last Jedi. I'm just kidding. Just so people know, and you can leave your comments, we like The Last Jedi. Put them in there. Put them in there. I like the engagement. I don't read it, but I like seeing that number of comments go up.
Starting point is 00:04:33 So after Luke's kind of won the war, a big... Oh, by himself, single-handedly. Pretty much. Did he do some flips? He did zero flips. What? He doesn't do a flip in this comic, actually. Oh, my goodness.
Starting point is 00:04:42 I know. Coward. I agree. There's no universe in which he's not a coward, is what I'm saying. So this is when a big force storm kind of rolls in and Luke's like, What's that? Well, it's a big dark force energy situation. It lifts up him and R2.
Starting point is 00:04:57 What an unlikely pairing. Very likely pairing. Very likely and constant pairing. So everyone who's not Luke and R2-D2 return to the Rebel base. They have old Imperial ships now that they've repurposed. Also, it shouldn't be called the Rebel base anymore. It should be called the Winner's base. Oh, that's true, yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:12 All right, fine. They're still Rebels. All right. Anyway, Mon Mothma's there. She's like, you remember me from Return of the Jedi, yes? And everyone's like, yes, we've all seen Return of the Jedi. That's right. We all remember you.
Starting point is 00:05:21 We've lived it. Hello, Wedge Antilles. You're also in Return of the Jedi, people say. Where's Porkins, they wonder? Where's my good friend Porkins? Where's he? Nobody noticed? Yeah, no.
Starting point is 00:05:31 It's been a busy couple of weeks. Yeah, you're not wrong. So it turns out that Mon Mothma's saying that there's bad Imperial stuff happening. They're rallying. There's purpose behind them. They're coming together. There's leadership there, but they don't know what's going on. So she mentions that they've got a new weapon.
Starting point is 00:05:46 They're called world crushers. They're basically a series of large ships that come down and they suck up all the stuff and consume a planet. Reverse Death Star. That's right. And what Admiral Ackbar says, he goes, this is more dangerous than the Death Star. Nice.
Starting point is 00:05:59 Thank you. But it's not. Oh, so it's less dangerous. I would say so because it's on- Ackbar, you coward. Put him on the list of cowards. So it turns out that they're on Mon Cala, Admiral Ackbar's home world, which he is not on defending at this point.
Starting point is 00:06:13 Coward. Yeah, coward. So they've got time to kind of go there and stop it. So that to me... Well, if anything, they've got heaps of time, because if it's less dangerous than the Death Star... That's what I'm saying. It can't be more dangerous if you can spend many days kind of rallying your forces and
Starting point is 00:06:26 get there and still win. Right? Yeah. Anyway. I feel if the Death Star could destroy it, it's less powerful than the Death Star. You know what the Rebels should do? Yeah. Build the Death Star.
Starting point is 00:06:36 I agree. Or maybe they could have, instead of blowing up that last Death Star. Could he repurpose it? They could have repurposed the Death Star. Exactly. Even if the laser doesn't work, he's using it as a big old bowling ball. Right? That's what I'd do. Just fling it. They should call it the Fling Star.
Starting point is 00:06:50 That was my favourite PS2 accessory, by the way. The Fling Star. I love doing karaoke on the Fling Star. Me too. So Luke is on an Imperial dungeon ship being transported to the dark side planet called Byss. They bring him in in a cage Is that short for Abyss? Yeah, probably. Nice. They bring him in in a cage. Is that short for Abyss?
Starting point is 00:07:05 Yeah, probably. Nice. They bring him in in a cage, and they're like, hurry up, Luke. And he's like, don't be threatening Luke Skywalker. I chose to be here, all right? Just get out of my face and away. So he walks into the throne room, and who happens to be there?
Starting point is 00:07:17 He's back big time. It's the Emperor. He's as old as he ever was. He mentions that it's not the first time that he's died. He's back for real, and it won't be the last time that he dies. Just to cover all your bases, folks, it's me, the Emperor. I'm definitely real. And we see his dong later.
Starting point is 00:07:31 I'm really excited for that. You're going to see my dong later. It's going to be really exciting. You're going to love it. You're going to love it. So he basically highlights that every time his body kind of withers and dies because of all the dark side energy within it, he jumps to a clone. He's done it multiple times.
Starting point is 00:07:48 Who knows how long he's been alive? At least 50 years, which is, that's a pretty reasonable amount of time. Exactly, yeah. Because this is pre-prequels, isn't it? Yes. So they didn't know at the time that in this continuity, it wasn't just Ian McDiarmid being the head of the Senate 50 years ago. No, they didn't really, like they knew kind of that he was a politician that was yeah right right that was all so this version is maybe like thousands of years old potentially yeah right okay so he goes why
Starting point is 00:08:14 don't you join me luke skywalker last time you didn't want to join me but how about this i'll sweeten the deal you can have the world devastator ships you can be in charge of that that's pretty rad do you can have this purple lightsaber. Don't ask me where I got it. It's not important. And as he's kind of explaining this, you see R2 quietly hand Luke his lightsaber. He's like, you fucking knew all this?
Starting point is 00:08:34 I'm just going to leave this here. But what Luke decides to do is challenge the dark side from within and he kneels for the Emperor, right? So not a fight. No, not yet. Coward's move. Exactly. I get move. Exactly. I get it.
Starting point is 00:08:46 Yeah. And at the same time, Leia realises that something is wrong because she's like, oh no, Luke's done some kneeling right now. Because she's also got the Force. That's right, she's also got the Force and this is all about her growing as a Jedi, et cetera and so forth. Oh, yeah. Around this time, though, Lando, Ackbar and the Rebel fleet
Starting point is 00:09:01 arrive at Mon Cala and they get beaten real badly. Lando's like, things are as bad now as they've ever been and et cetera and so forth. He's barely in it, it doesn't matter. His famous catchphrase. Yes. Well, things are as bad now. Remember when he's going to that trench run at the Death Star?
Starting point is 00:09:15 Things are as bad now as they've ever been. Yeah. What do you think, Nigh and Numb? I don't speak English, he says. I can't help you. Why did they pair us together? I don't know. This has been confusing from minute one.
Starting point is 00:09:26 Then a vision of Darth Vader appears to Princess Leia. He's also bloody dead. Yes, but turns out it's Luke projecting himself and he's appearing as Darth Vader, just like Luke can do in The Last Jedi. He can make himself look and appear younger. It's the same situation. So he goes,
Starting point is 00:09:42 There's precedent. There's precedent. And he's like, don't come after me. I'm doing some stuff. And then she collapses, right? After she wakes up, they decide to go and get Luke. And Han's like, oh, my God, I hate adventures and shit. I'm sick of it, quite frankly.
Starting point is 00:09:56 Harrison Ford really injecting some of himself into the character once again. He's like, Luke sucks now. He's a weird Jedi. I can't be dealing with that guy. But they go anyway. They stop by Nar Shaddaa, which is like a moon of Nal Hutta. It's like a smuggler's kind of situation. They've also got bounties on them because Princess Leia strangled Jabba the Hutt to death.
Starting point is 00:10:14 I don't know if you remember that. Oh, I remember that. No, I do remember that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've all seen Return of the Jedi. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors. Like high blood pressure developed during pregnancy, which can put us two times more at risk of heart disease or stroke.
Starting point is 00:10:31 Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. On May 10th, Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes is coming to IMAX and theaters everywhere. What a wonderful day! This summer, one movie event will reign. It is our time. Apes hunt humans.
Starting point is 00:10:51 That is wrong. Bend for your king. Never. Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes. Only in theaters May 10th. Tickets on sale now. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever?
Starting point is 00:11:09 Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So who will you rise for? Register today
Starting point is 00:11:32 at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. So they're all just leaving the cinema like, son of a bitch. Rude behavior from Princess Leia there. So Hard's old friend Mako lets them in. Is he Sharkman? No, but he's an old smuggling buddy. Maybe shark's the right word for it though, Mason. They also meet his ex-girlfriend Sala. She shows up in some other books and stuff later.
Starting point is 00:12:01 Doesn't really matter. Wait, who's ex-girlfriend? Han Solo's. Yeah, Han Solo's ex-girlfriendgirlfriend yes nice so leia stopped by this crazy old and by crazy old i mean like she's crazy and she's crazy old old woman right and she's like i used to be a jedi but i betrayed the jedi anyway here's this and she gives her a case and inside the case a gun just. Just a regular gun from Earth. Inexplicable. I wish it was. Okay, right. It's a lightsaber.
Starting point is 00:12:29 Oh, yeah, fine, whatever. And then she disappears. A der. A der, right? What colour's the lightsaber? I can't remember. Let's say blue to green. Okay, not a cool novelty one.
Starting point is 00:12:39 I don't believe so. Oh, okay. Well, it's kind of weirdly shaded, this book. In a good way, I feel. I really like the artwork in this. I like the work of Cam Kennedy. It's great. So they go to Han's apartment.
Starting point is 00:12:49 Yes, that's right. I did not misspeak. You did not miss here. They go to his apartment. He hasn't... We've got to go to my condo. Yeah, pretty much. He hasn't been there for like a decade.
Starting point is 00:12:58 His cleaning droid is still there called ZZ. Still got like Pulp Fiction posters up on the walls. Exactly. Donnie Darko. Oh, this is embarrassing. I've grown a lot since, I swear. Reservoir dogs. Yeah, exactly. Inexplicable. So, he's like, ZZ, why
Starting point is 00:13:11 haven't you cleaned up my apartment, like, at all? He's left coffee cups in the sink. Pretty much, yeah. But then ZZ says, oh, by the way, Mr. Fett is here to see you. Oh my goodness, Boba Fett. His only explanation for being alive is the Sarlacc found me indigestible. His friend Mako the Shark betrayed him, it turned out.
Starting point is 00:13:29 Also, Dengar is there. What do you think of that? Which one's he? Bandage on the head? Bandage on the head, yeah. Bandage on the head guy, yeah. Okay, right. Anyway, in this-
Starting point is 00:13:35 A real murderer's row. You know it. Of people that I remember from the movies. Correct. In the ensuing shootout, Leia uses a real human gun. Damn, this is easy, she thinks to herself. I've been learning this lightsaber nonsense. Check this out.
Starting point is 00:13:51 Bang, bang, bang. They're all dead. I got them. Turns out this Mandalorian arm is garbage. It's bullets. So anyway, the droid is killed in the shootout on the way out. But was it ever really alive? Well, I feel like you let Boba Fett in and you didn't clean up.
Starting point is 00:14:09 So, come on. Yeah, right. That's all you're there for, really, to not let Boba Fett in and clean up. You blew it. It's your one job. Yeah, that's right. They're saved by Han's ex-girlfriend. Boba Fett's following them.
Starting point is 00:14:20 He's like, their ship's no match for Slave 2, my new ship. He's got a new ship. Don't get too attached. He's gone soon. But Leia then has a vision of Luke controlling the Imperial fleet, and the Imperial fleet is currently eating up that rebel Star Destroyer. It's like, nom, nom, nom, I love this. It's delicious.
Starting point is 00:14:36 The battle's still going on in Mon Calo. It's not important. I'm cutting a lot of that out. It's a time thing, all right? It's just ships flying around and people going, what are we going to do, Lando? You get it anyway
Starting point is 00:14:46 those big imperial ships they start shutting down and the rebels realise it's not them because they're crap at this it's sabotage could it be Luke yep
Starting point is 00:14:53 it is Luke you're correct that's right so Han, Chewie and Leia they arrive on Biss slave to is right behind them Salas codes
Starting point is 00:15:01 the ex-girlfriend gets them past the defences Boba Fett does not and he just gets shot out of the sky and that's them past the defences Boba Fett does not and he just gets shot out of the sky and that's he's gone
Starting point is 00:15:07 a classic Boba Fett entry I mean uneventful and it's and not even slightly surprising yeah that's right
Starting point is 00:15:14 they couldn't even do it on the printed page they're like okay let's make this this character from the movies do something real cool but my drawing hand it won't do it
Starting point is 00:15:22 it won't allow me to make him do something cool oh he's crashed so Princess Leia lands the ship on the emperor's uh cool new base it's pretty cool and evil you know what i mean like a bit of black and red kind of you know it yeah cool that's exactly what it is nice uh luke appears again as a projection like in the movie uh the last jedi if you remember that uh again proving that this is a thing that you can definitely do yeah yeah he says you shouldn't have come the emperor is alive maybe i should have told you that earlier You remember that? Again, proving that this is a thing that Jedi can do. You can definitely do it. Yeah. He says, you shouldn't have come.
Starting point is 00:15:47 The Emperor is alive. Maybe I should have told you that earlier. I didn't. You had all this projection time earlier. Yeah, that's right. But now you're here and now you know. So they meet up with Luke. He's missing a hand.
Starting point is 00:15:58 He's like, oh, the Emperor is making me a new sweet-ass hand for whatever reason. Like an evil robot hand? It doesn't really come into play. I think it's just another hand. I don't know what to tell you. Anyway. Maybe hands date very quickly, like fashion-wise. Yeah, well, that could be it.
Starting point is 00:16:09 Now he's got like six thumbs. He's loving it, mate. Yeah. It's black and red. It's an evil hand. That's right. So they're like, Leia, give over your bloody lightsaber that you've got. And she's like, never.
Starting point is 00:16:17 She lights it up. She's ready to battle. And the Emperor just destroys it. Just like explodes it in her hand. Luckily she still has that gun. I know, right? So the emperor's like uh everyone else stay here princess leia come with me to my bed chambers i'm gonna show you some crazy force stuff you're gonna shit bricks it's incredible right you're gonna love it i'm
Starting point is 00:16:35 just lifting dialogue is this a sex thing what's going on it's not a sex thing okay right but yeah it feels like it could go that way yeah right so as they're leaving the room leia tries to drop something on him with the force, but he electrocutes her. He's like, don't, don't, please. Just don't. Just don't. I'm trying to come into my bedchamber. It's not weird.
Starting point is 00:16:52 Get in here. Yeah. So Han's like, Luke, how could you let this happen? And he goes to attack Luke, and Luke just picks him up with one hand, and he's like, I'll kill you, Luke. And Luke's like, it's unlikely. Just don't. Just don't, all right? Everybody just settle down for a minute.
Starting point is 00:17:07 Exactly. So the Emperor lays out his plan to Leia in his bedroom. He's like, listen, I know Luke is sabotaging the fleet, but that's all fine. It's all part of my plan because you're actually the key to my survival and the Empire, right? Yes. So he hands her an ancient Jedi holocron and it's got ancient Jedi knowledge and Leia loves it. She's like, I fucking love this. This is great. Right? This is my lucky day. Yeah. And then he's like, now I will take, give it back, give it back. And can you please help me into my bed? Cause I'm about to transfer into a new body. It's going to be sweet. You're
Starting point is 00:17:38 going to love it. This is so weird. I don't know what to tell you. I'm just recounting the story. And as she's helping him into his bed for whatever reason, he's like, oh, by the way, you're pregnant with a child. It's got the force. I'm going to get in that child. That's going to be me. That's where I'm going to put my new mind. This is Leia and Han's child, one would assume.
Starting point is 00:17:55 Yes, correct. Okay. Now this is a gender reveal I had not been expecting. Girl, boy, evil Sith Lord. Evil Sith Lord. So what Leia does, though, is she then tips him out of his bed. And he's like, ha, ha, ha. My one weakness, being tipped out of bed.
Starting point is 00:18:10 But he's like, everything is going well, as she runs out of the room. He's like, I'm actually laughing about this. Yeah, that's right. But then he's like, wait a minute. She stole that holocron that I gave her. So he's not very happy about that. Anyway, Luke gets a new hand. It's pretty good.
Starting point is 00:18:24 I mean, it's the same. And then when Leia comes back, Luke reveals that he's hid the plan, the Emperor's plan in R2 to destroy the fleet, right? Classic place to put a plan. You know it is. Put it right in there. And he's like, let's get out of here. So anyway, they're rescued by
Starting point is 00:18:40 Sala. Everyone escapes, even Luke. Once they're in hyperspace, Luke's like, by the way, I'm not really here. I'm still on BIS. See you later. Boom, he's gone. And I'm pregnant. What do you think of that? We're all pregnant. I've stolen your thunder layer. Get a load of that. I took a DNA test. I'm 100% bitch.
Starting point is 00:18:57 So Luke goes back to the Emperor and he says, I don't like you. I don't like this situation. He starts hacking into his clones, right? He knows if he destroys the clones, it's all over. But the Emperor is already in a clone body, and it's cool and young and naked, right? Yeah, nice.
Starting point is 00:19:11 You don't see any kind of dong situation. I don't know whether it's not developed or whether it's just the way that it's drawn. It's all Ken doll all down there. That's right. That's wow. No wonder he's always trying to conquer the universe. That's right.
Starting point is 00:19:23 A thousand years without a dong. Yeah. Is this the first nude lightsaber fight? I hope not. That's all I'll say. And I hope it to conquer the universe. That's right. A thousand years without a dong. Yeah. Is this the first nude lightsaber fight? I hope not. That's all I'll say. And I hope it's not the last. Yeah. But he does defeat Luke.
Starting point is 00:19:32 Oh, they're both nude. No. So he goes, I've defeated you. Come on, get nude, Luke. It's not weird. Come into my bed chambers. We'll have a nude lightsaber fight. It's going to be fine.
Starting point is 00:19:42 So he goes, now that you're back under my control, let's go get your sister's baby so I can be a baby. That's cool, right? It looks like, I guess it is. So anyway, they get back and they shut down. I guess this cloning stuff isn't working too well. He needs a regular baby. He wants like a better body, like a better force.
Starting point is 00:19:59 So whenever he clones himself, it's a weird old clone. No, no, he's young, but then he rapidly deteriorates. I see, I get you. Anyway, they shut down all the Devastators. R2 takes control of them, and they all crash into each other or whatever, and they're like, good job in that particular aspect of the storyline. Then the Holocron tells Leia a prophecy, and to summarize, he's like, you and Luke,
Starting point is 00:20:19 you're a great force in the galaxy or whatever, and just kill the Emperor. Do that. Yeah, right. That's essentially what it is. He's like, twins will be born, and just kill the Emperor. Do that. Yeah, right. You know? Yeah. That's essentially what it is. He's like, twins will be born that will walk across the sky.
Starting point is 00:20:30 And she's like, wait, what? And she gets it immediately, obviously. Yeah. Anyway, the Emperor's ship appears out of hyperspace, and he's like, Luke's with me. Give me Princess Leia, and I'll leave everyone else alone, and I'll get out of here. So Leia goes alone, and then Luke and leia have a brief fight but then luke gives her the eye and he's like i've gone too far with this dark side stuff i've i'm in over my head i need help with the force and all this kind of situation he's like i only converted to the
Starting point is 00:20:54 dark side because i want to understand why vader did it and it turns out i think i can't really remember but it's maybe he's like he's sad he was a sad lonely man and he's and the emperor's sad and lonely and he's like I don't want this anymore. I want to be cool again. Sure, yeah. Yeah. We all want to be cool. Again.
Starting point is 00:21:09 Again, yeah. You never get it back, though. That's the thing. That's what Luke doesn't realise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's that line about the dark side and it forever dominates your destiny? It's like being uncool. Once you become uncool, it's over, mate.
Starting point is 00:21:20 Regain your coolness, exactly. Anyway, the Emperor is very unhappy with this. I'm very unhappy with this, he says Yeah, that's right And there's a lightsaber fight And Luke chops off his hand Luke chops off his own hand No, he chops off the Emperor's hand Cool
Starting point is 00:21:35 I agree That's a classic Star Wars move, by the way That's right Totally It's got all the Star Wars stuff you love A Boba Fett goofing around A regular human gun A hand being cut off.
Starting point is 00:21:45 It's got it all. So the Emperor then summons his Force Storm back. Oh, that's where it came from. It's going to envelop everybody, but then Luke and Leia combine their forces. And because it breaks his kind of dark side protection, the Storm then consumes the Emperor. It's one of those things where there's... It's one of those finales where there's a lot of swirling Force stuff. It's exactly what it is.
Starting point is 00:22:03 And if you believe in yourself, you're the winner. Now I get it. Anyway, there's a big picture of him looking like a Dracula being consumed by a storm. It's very Dracula. He's got a big collar and everything. Yeah. Well, I've written here, this is my note. He dies like a big Dracula.
Starting point is 00:22:21 Nice. So they escape. The Emperor's ship is consumed. Luke realizes the power of teamwork. Luke says something like, We've done it. The Jedi will rise again. This is when he decides to start the new Jedi order.
Starting point is 00:22:34 But also there's two sequels to this comic where the Emperor returns. The end. All right, good. We've all done it, haven't we? We've all done it. We've all done it. Incredible. So he just comes back again.
Starting point is 00:22:44 Yeah. How? Clones. More clones. Gets him more clones. I mean, he should have just done it, haven't we? We've all done it. We've all done it. Incredible. So he just comes back again. Yeah. How? Like clones. More clones. Gets him more clones. I mean, he should have just done that, I reckon. Look, I read him a long time ago. Maybe we can come back to him.
Starting point is 00:22:52 But does everyone really want the trilogy of the Emperor coming back in various clones? Do you want us to do that? Don't make me is what I'm saying. Okay, right. Then no. Anyway, the original idea for this comic, though, was to have an imposter of Darth Vader show up in his armour or replica of, and then he's like inspiring like fear in the galaxy.
Starting point is 00:23:10 But George Lucas was like, don't do that. Why don't you bring back the Emperor through cloning? So that's where this came from, right? Just George Lucas saying, yeah, you should just do that. Also, an imposter Darth Vader isn't that impressive, especially if it's just a regular guy. Exactly. It's me, Darth Vader. Can you do anything
Starting point is 00:23:25 darth vader can do yeah but you missed it my lightsabers in the glove compartment i don't want to go back and get it of my regular human datson it's my i left it at my girlfriend's place she lives in canada so the other thing was timothy zahn who wrote a bunch of very popular star wars stuff yep you want to name the books? End of the Empire. Yes. Dark Force Rising. The Last Command.
Starting point is 00:23:48 That's right. Other ones probably. He was asked to kind of reference and tie in his books to this and he's like, oh my God, I hate this idea and I'll barely do it. So there's a line. He's like, hey, remember when the Emperor was resurrected and Mara Jade's like, you know what? I don't think it was actually him, whatever.
Starting point is 00:24:03 Sounds lame. Sounds lame and a waste of my time to think about, she said. That's right. So yeah, that's this story. I don't mind it. I like these kind of weird retro legend Star Wars comics, like the early day stuff where they're just starting to expand the universe. Do you think that any of this could or should have been incorporated
Starting point is 00:24:22 into the new trilogy? Well, potentially. I know J.J. Abrams had the idea for The Force Awakens to bring in a Darth Vader imposter. That could have come from this. Which I guess turned into Kylo Ren in some aspects, right? Yeah, exactly, yeah. I mean, we were going to have an evil Sith guy of some sort.
Starting point is 00:24:35 Of some sort. The idea of Force projection, obviously. Boba Fett returning. There's hints of that in the universe still, obviously. There's a bunch of stuff in here which does show its face face but there was also a lot of stuff in the old star wars canon it's like when the new one really where it's like what if the death star but it's even worse than the death star there's like the dark saber there's the sun crusher someone tries to build like another death star again i think lando blows it up again yeah there's that one shot where it's
Starting point is 00:25:02 like the death star but twice as big. Remember that one? And then all the characters are constantly like, look, up in the sky, it's the Death Star, but twice as big. It's way bigger. And somebody's like,
Starting point is 00:25:12 are you sure it's not just twice as close? And they're like, no, no, it's definitely not. Definitely twice as big. I mean, just by the human eye, that's all I perceive. But he's really big. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:21 There's a guy waving. If it were just the Death Star closer, he'd be bigger, but he's smaller. He's so small, we can barely see him. Anyways, this is Caravan of Garbage. We do this every week. We've actually done a trilogy of Star Wars things leading up to this. If you want to take a punt back in time to look at that. Also, if you love the old Star Wars canon, I've done a retrospective on Shadows of the Empire if you want to check it out.
Starting point is 00:25:42 It's got sweet-ass animation and artwork and a bunch of stuff going on. It's 34 minutes long. Is that too long? Sure. Sure. Wow. Yeah. But look, if you like that old stuff, then...
Starting point is 00:25:51 According to who, though? The commenters? Yeah. That's right. People have been very positive, and I appreciate it. They have been very nice about it, yeah. Anyways, though,
Starting point is 00:25:58 if you do have a suggestion for Caravan of Garbage, it could be an old Star Wars thing. It could be literally anything at all. Video game, comic, movie, TV show. Leave it in the comments. Also, what do you think of this comic? You read it? Is it good? Are the sequels good? Tell us. Are you going to make us review them?
Starting point is 00:26:10 Please don't. Rather you didn't. Please don't, yeah. Also, we have a podcast called The Weekly Planet where we talk movies and comics and TV shows, and because The Rise of Skywalker is hitting cinemas, we, of course, will have a Monday morning episode on that. Non-spoilers, then spoilers come along.
Starting point is 00:26:23 How does it compare to this? We'll find out. How does our podcast review of a Star Wars movie compare to this Star Wars story? I mean, some would say that it's apples and oranges, but I say ours is better. I agree. Yeah, me too. Anyways, I'm at MrSundayMovies on Twitter. I'm at WikipediaBrand on Twitter. Thanks, everybody, very much.
Starting point is 00:26:40 Grab that gem, you guys. We'll see you next week. Goodbye. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates i mean if you want it's up to you what a great first day on the job that good i help people i'm in the middle of the action i use the latest tech it's a a dream job. Are they hiring? I got you.
Starting point is 00:27:07 I'll put in a word for you. Find out more about a career in insurance at purposemeetspassion.ca. FX's The Veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship between two women who play a deadly game of truth and lies on the road from Istanbul to Paris and London. One woman has a secret. The other, a mission to reveal it before thousands of lives are lost. FX's The Veil, starring Elizabeth Moss, is now streaming on Disney+.

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