The Weekly Planet - Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part I - Caravan Of Garbage

Episode Date: February 24, 2022

The Twilight Saga rolls on into the god awful entry that is Breaking Dawn Part One. It's boring and weird and also gross. Why did they do this. There's a wedding between a one hundred plus year old man and a teenage girl and then a grown man falls in love with a baby. I mean they try to justify it will all sorts of werewolf and vampire lore but it just boils down to a horrible time at the movies. No. And boo.SUBSCRIBE HERE ►► http://goo.gl/pQ39jNVideo Edition ► https://youtu.be/zaa9bkJyigYHelp support the show and get early episodes ► https://bigsandwich.co/Patreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesJames' Twitter ► http://twitter.com/mrsundaymoviesMaso's Twitter ► http://twitter.com/wikipediabrownPatreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesT-Shirts/Merch ► https://www.teepublic.com/stores/mr-sunday-movies The Weekly Planet iTunes ► https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-weekly-planet/id718158767?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 The Weekly Planet Direct Download ► https://play.acast.com/s/theweeklyplanetAmazon Affiliate Link ► https://amzn.to/2nc12P4 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

FX's The Veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship between two women who play a deadly game of truth and lies on the road from Istanbul to Paris and London. One woman has a secret. The other, a mission to reveal it before thousands of lives are lost. FX's The Veil, starring Elizabeth Moss, is now streaming on Disney+. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care.

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This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of the... Oh, that's wrong. That's the other thing we do different thing you want to start again yeah i'll start okay actually good you don't want to leave this in for like you know to like pretend we're doing it for real this will make incredible bonus content yeah bonus content yeah yeah people are gonna pay extra for this welcome back everybody to another episode of caravan of garbage where of course we are making our way, we're breaking our way, would you

say Mason? Very nice, we're talking about the film Breaking Away, beautiful coming of age film, love it. No Mason No we're talking about Twilight Breaking Dawn. The one where they go back in time to feudal Japan There's always one right, in every franchise Yeah when do we hit that? I should have saved

the Twilight Saga goes to Hawaii for this one Yeah yeah yeah. Because they go to a Hawaii-like place. All my subtitles just said, people sing in foreign language. You know, want to be more specific about those holiday scenes? Anything that's not English is foreign. Yeah, that's very true, actually. I'm sorry, this is actually the one we've all been waiting for, which is the one where Edward and I get married.

I mean the one where Edward and I get married. I mean the one where Edward and Bella get married. Absolutely. And leave a like for that. And leave a like for the good peeps. You know, everyone who's foreign. You know what I mean? Yeah, all the foreigners.

Everybody who doesn't speak English. Respect. I'm not speaking English. So this one I found of the series is the most boring. And probably because it's half a book's worth of story. Yeah, they're spreading it out, aren't they? But it's also probably the most upsetting as of so far. It's quite an ordeal, I found.

Like, it was a bit, it was really, you know? I do know. What's interesting about this movie is this one was directed by Bill Condon. Yeah. I don't know if you're saving this for Raking Dornivia I did name it something like that Okay, terrific But he, among other things, he directed Gods and Monsters

Yeah It's a great film from the 90s Starring Brendan Fraser and Sir Ian McKellen And McKellen plays James Whale Who was a real life movie director Who directed, among other things, Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein Right So is that how we got this gig?

I guess. Because that was also Movie Monsters? I think they just went, can you make two movies? Oh, yeah, I guess. That's probably true. We've got to put them out every year. Can you make two movies? Yeah, yeah.

And he's like, I'm an Oscar winner. Why not? Why wouldn't I? I'll make two movies. I won the award for best adapted screenplay. I could spread a bad book over two movies. Why wouldn't I? Anyway, people should check that movie out.

Absolutely. So Jacob is upset up top because he gets the invite along with Bella's dad who's not happy. Also, he's cottoning on. He's like, why have they got so many graduation caps? They killed a lot of high school kids. Probably. Have you seen them? Look at them. They look like murderers. I'll give a lot of high school kids. Probably. Have you seen them? Look at them.

They look like murderers. I'll give one point to them, though. Yeah. They dress less like weirdos in this. Yeah, well, it's formal attire for the most part. I just meant generally. Okay, yeah, yeah. Like, they're more like...

Well, they're out of school. Oh, they're definitely out of school. Does that make a difference? I don't know. But Jacob is upset because the invite says... No wolf men. No yucky wolf men from the forest. Isabella Marie Swan is marrying Edward Anthony Mason.

Oh. Coloured. So there you go. Just wonderful names all around. And we get a bit of Edward background before they get married. We're going to have a bit of a chat. There's a bit of cold feet going on. Bella has a dream sequence,

which I knew was a dream sequence because she could walk in heels. You know what I'm talking about? She could have not had a more hack, like a vampire nightmare wedding dream sequence. If you try. Oh, everybody's wearing white. And then all of a sudden everybody's covered in blood.

Oh, everybody's dead. That's a pretty normie shit. Yeah. Right. Just, just bog standard stuff. Very bog standard.

Yeah. But Edward, we find out went rogue rogue in the 30s. And by that I mean he only murdered bad people with his little flat cap on, which might be about what Morbius is. I don't know. I don't know at this point. And then he runs off into the woods to have his bachelor party,

which is eating bears or something. I have a note here that just says, roughhousing vampire boys having a rough house. Does Bella get like a thing?lla doesn't do much yeah like she doesn't have she doesn't have a a bachelorette party a hen's night as we would call it in australia she doesn't even like she doesn't drink out of one of those straws that's shaped like a penis and everyone's like that's a dick there's they you know what for what is supposedly like the most epic romance ever committed to film, they don't even write their own vows.

It's just the stock vows. Bella doesn't do a speech. No. At the very least, you know, do a funny one. Be like, thanks everyone for coming. Especially you, Dad. Semen! Funny stuff

Yeah You know There's some people That was like I don't approve of this though Right This wedding speech Has gone too far

Why would they get Anna Kendrick's character To do a speech When you know She's going to be Weird passag about it Why put that in I'm amazed

She's still in this Right Apparently it's the last one That she is But I'm like She's famous at this point Right I think so yeah

She's like well famous. Anyway, hopefully she got a lot of money for it. But she's also like, yeah, she's pregnant because who else gets married at 18? The timeline of this apparently, in the books at least, is it's a 10 month romance. And all I could think as Bella

was walking down the aisle and her dad's like, this is horrible. You can see it on his face. He hates it. Scrubs up all right, doesn't he? He's a good looking man. I don't mind saying so, Mason. But she has a hair in her mouth. Oh.

Is that a clumsy girl thing? I don't know. Oh, do you think they did it deliberately? This isn't a production error. All I could think, I didn't notice, all I was thinking was like, oh, jeez, this is a long walk up the aisle. I know we've been building to it

for three movies at this point, but my goodness. Well, it's cut longer than the actual walk is to get the sense of like, you know, time is standing still for her, et cetera and so forth. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean? And she's making her way up to Robert Pattinson who looks very beautiful in his 17th century, like, French white makeup that he appears to be wearing, I think,

on top of his regular glowing vampire skin. What I like is they've just completely given up on the pretense that these vampires glow in the sunlight. Yeah. People are just hanging out in Rio de Janeiro or whatever. Yeah, it's fine. Or just an island paradise and nobody's like, let's deal with that guy.

Yeah. He's just regular now. He's just regular now. And it's also weird that, like, nobody noticed at the wedding that there's all these deathly white people with immovable hair just holding full champagne flutes for like the entirety of the reception. Not for me, thank you. Also

some of them are like, oh these are my cousins from Alaska. Are they not murderers? Surely just the Cullens are not murderers. I guess there's more not murderers. Mostly not murderers it seems. It's more not murderers. Mostly not murderers, it seems. It seems that way, yeah. But speaking of not murderers,

Jacob turns up and he's like, I'm cool with this now, actually. I had a big tantrum at the start of the movie. Now, boys, hold me back! Boys! I like how all the werewolves have two boys hidden in the brush. They're a pack!

They're a pack, it makes sense. You'd have two boys hidden in the brush. You don't have boys hidden in the brush. They're a pack. Yeah. They're a pack. It makes sense. You'd have two boys hidden in the brush. You don't have boys hidden in the brush, Mason. I got boys hidden outside of the podcast studio. Just in case they set you off. I'll be back, boys. He recommended the wrong VPN, boys. I'll be back.

So they talk about like, you know, the wedding night. He's like, you're going to have sex. You're going to have sex. You're going to have sex. Something bad's going to happen. Well, something bad does happen. You'll kill her with all the sex. But also at the same time, like, Jacob, fucking get over it. Yeah, right.

You fucking drip. Just run into the woods. All right. Just keep running. Run from wood to wood. Dude, it's over. The marriage, that's the end of it. Yeah, exactly.

I mean, it was long done by this point. Also, there's a moment on the beach where he's with these boys and one girl. Where he's like, imprinting is sick. Who in their right mind would do that? So hold that thought for later. So they also drive off at the wedding in another Volvo. Very sensible. Just another beautiful, I was hoping for a white wedding Volvo.

Just to add to the garage, but no. But it's a lovely Volvo. Yeah, we didn't mention the sensible Volvo last week, but there was one, wasn't there? There sure was, yeah. There was a new sensible Volvo. I can't wait to listen. Classic virgin car.

Is he, though? I think he might be. That's the first note I have. It says, is Edward a virgin or not? Because Bella says to him, are you a virgin? And he's like, moving on. Are you? Moving on.

Are you, eh? Yes, I would say so. Because I guess they also, they don't have like. Working dicks. Working dicks. But also, I think the lust is more for like blood than it is for, you know. Oh, I get it. Sexual intercourse.

Speaking of, here we go. Property damaging sex. That's what I'm all about, Mason. So after they do their property damaging sex, first of all, she has to cuddle up to this ice cold marble man, which just seems awful in itself. Also, he bruised her a lot. Also, those poor house cleaners.

There's no heads up. They come in and they're like, oh, no. And Edward's like, oh, Mr. Hart, what a mess. That's those poor house cleaners. There's no heads up. They come in and they're like, oh no! And Edward's like, oh Mr. Hart, what a mess! That's an Australian reference for you. It certainly is. And Edward's like, ha ha! She's afraid for you because, you know, she's heard of legends of vampires like seducing and killing beautiful women.

Ha ha ha ha ha! Also, ease up. Yeah. Just do that. Yeah, maybe do that. Yeah. Maybe go on the bottom. Right? I don't know. I'm saying there's lower settings on the jackhammer.

You just use one of those. I'm just saying. Anyway, they have a bit of a funny moon because it's fun. It is fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're playing chess and tussling each other's hair. I don't know what they do. Sure. But it turns out she's super

vampire pregnant yeah and edward's immediate reaction is like carlo will get that thing out and then we'll chop it out of you freak you monster freak it's so weird because it's such a strange series and ben who edits these with lawrence i might point out like we had this conversation where it's it's like vegan abstinence pro-abortion but also anti-abortion like the whole messaging of this thing it's it's so a strange yeah it's a collection of thoughts i guess it's a combination of the original book yeah what they wanted to add in in the in the adaptation and like what would play better to audiences you know and probably you know elements change from from book to movie

because they're like well times have changed whatever whatever it is but i think it's all worth it for just that moment where we see just bella is just vomiting in the in the in the toilet and edward is just brooding in another room he's just got these all he's not like hey are you okay he's just like time to brood it's actually yep it's brood o'clock so i gotta brood sorry yeah it's quite strange because i think also like if you will say like a fundamentalist christian you don't like these movies because it's about magic and demons and fuck and tussling of hair yeah but and volvo's the devil's car that's right but the virgin devil's car. But also, it's pro-life. Do you know what I mean? That's what I mean.

It's a strange mix of ideologies. Anyways, that should make for a fun comment section. But there's all these arguments and conversations, and both Edward and Jacob initially are like, let's kill this baby. Let's kill this baby. One thing we agree on, killing this baby. Team Edward, team Jacob, team kill the baby.

Finally combined. I love their little chat where Edward says to Jacob, you have a connection with her I'll never understand. Yeah, you reckon? Like the connection of two normal people having normal interactions. Normal. Normal. But it's like, yeah.

Learn to interact with people, Edward. You've had 100 years. They both like motorbikes. Is there a stronger connection than that? No, that's the strongest. Than the love of the crusty demons, Mason? There isn't. There absolutely is not.

And it's weird that like, so there is an action sequence in this. Because it's pretty light on action. The next one, boy, you are in for a treat. But in this particular sequence, what happens is the werewolves are like, they're not werewolves, you know. The wolves are like, let's kill this woman. But to me, I'm like, what? Worst case scenario, she gives birth to another vampire.

Yeah, they don't even know what it is, really. I guess some of the prophecies say it's going to kill everything or something. I don't know. Yeah, probably. But Jacob breaks with a pack, and he makes his own little pack. He's like, I'm protecting this baby for reasons that will become clearer later in the movie and book. But the birth, so leading up to it, Bella's drinking a blood smoothie and they're deciding

on names. Right. And they settle on Renesmee. And they're like, too weird? Yes. It's not a good name. Hard to say. Hard to spell.

And I'm sorry if you were born in 2010. All the, oh my goodness, yeah. Renesmee? I've written it here. Rensmee. Is it Rensmee? Yeah. It's not.

But this is the problems the child will face at school. Yeah. Is Rensmee here? All the kids are going to laugh at him? Yeah, exactly. And also because of the weird. And then Jacob's going to bust in and be like, you're making fun of my love, you little children.

Boys, hold me back. Boys. Boys. All right, settle down. Do you remember the moment just before she gives birth and all her bones break like she's that character from Futurama who has bonitis? Yeah, it was some real body horror stuff.

Yeah. Twisting backwards like a. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors. Like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease to go up. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca FX's The Veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship between two women who play a deadly game of truth and lies on the road from Istanbul to Paris and London.

One woman has a secret. The other, a mission to reveal it before thousands of lives are lost. FX's The Veil, starring Elizabeth Moss, is now streaming on Disney+. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st,

people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. Some sort of, what's the one?

Contortion artist? Yeah, the thing, you know, the thing we watched that movie? The woman from The Ring. Oh, the malignant? Also The Ring lady, sure. Also, the beach that makes you old, the person who turns to bones in a cave. Oh my God, anyway, always unpleasant. Yeah, the malignant? Also the ring lady, sure. Also the beach that makes you old, the person who turns to bones in a cave. Oh my God, anyway, always unpleasant.

Yeah, it is. And so during the birth, I was confused about the goings on and what Edward's role played. Well, first he's given her a big syringe of his venom. Is that before or after the C-section where he eventually uses his teeth to bite through the, right through the embryonic sac? That's what I thought was happening, but I couldn't be't be sure it's pretty unclear then it's venom to the heart pop fiction style and then look sus whatever that is and then there's a brief moment where jacob like catches the baby's eye and i'm like well i don't know this yeah yeah we'll come back to that

and then there's a moment where of course she uh bella she she dies. And there's a moment where Edward's like, you're not dead, come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! That's the perfect time to brood, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also, I noticed straight away they wash the baby.

And I just want to point out that a baby, when it's born, it's covered in vernix, and that's a protective coating that forms over the baby's skin in utero, and it actually helps protect their immune system, so you should wait at least 24 hours till after the baby's skin in utero and actually helps protect their immune system. So you should wait at least 24 hours till after the baby's born to give it a bath. So you've had kids, obviously. So you have this experience.

You've learned from that. But as someone who hasn't had kids, that sounds yuck. Having a yucky baby for 24 hours, yuck. It's actually quite sterile, Mason. Also, I just want to point out that information is at the time of recording. Don't come back in 10 years and be like, actually, that kills children. You've killed children for 10 years after this video.

I know. Anyway, there's a fight between the werewolves and the Draculas. And it's whatever. You know, wolves tackling people with beautiful hair. Shorts ripping off. Shorts ripping off. Let me tell you this. This movie, Jacob's wearing clothes head to toe, and he's just ripping them off.

What a waste. Yeah, ridiculous. Does he have, like, a budget? Do they budget for that? Do his boys have a pool of money that they put into? Maybe. Anyway, in terms of vampire lore, I don't have much else to add other than we see Bella's transformation.

I mean, you get a glimpse at her eyes, and it just looks like she's just wearing, like, a lot of makeup. And I guess that's part of the transformation, where you just become, you know, you wear whatever modern style of makeup is. That's exactly right. Your face adapts to that. Now, what do the red eyes mean?

That means she's grumpy, right? Yeah, well, I think it's human blood, which I guess she has been drinking, because she had the blood smoothies. But I'm more interested, very much so, in werewolf lore this time around and in printing. Because the way that Jacob...

Oh, that baby. That horrible baby. What did you think of the horrible baby? I mean, initially... It's a normal baby, right? Yeah. But then you see its horrible CGI face. Yeah.

And then you jump forward ahead in time or... That's just some sort of dream sequence. Well, I think it probably is both. Okay, great. So actually, Mackenzie. James, let's take a stand on this. I'm saying writing an adult man falling in love with a baby, not cool. Let's get ahead of it right now.

I think it's not cool. I don't care if there's a look into the future or a little dream sequence or whatever where you see this baby as an adult. I don't like it. I agree. I think it's weird. I think it's not cool. I'm with you, Mason.

And it's strange because, like, Jacob has a line where we're about imprinting when you see it happen. And it's something like, be anything she needs, a friend, a brother, a protector. That's not what's going on here. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I'll tell you why I know that. It's because I looked into the law behind imprinting.

Okay. There's four stages to it. Oh, no. Would you like me to take you through it okay great how many rules for life it's just four okay great and then just some bonus upsetting stuff at the end all meat diet all meat diet okay terrific avoid apple cider okay great apple cider vinegar tidy your room of all your jorts put your jorts in a neat pile. Get a specially allocated jorts drawer. Yep.

Yeah. Stage one. If the imprintee is young, the shapeshifter will act as an older sibling. Okay. Also, you can imprint on pretty much anybody. That's the theory behind it. Okay.

And it's like gravity. It just happens. Oh my goodness. Upsetting. Stage two. As the imprintee grows older, the shapeshifter will also come to be their best friend. Ooh, that's lovely.

Regardless of whether they want that. Sure, right? Because you're a grown man and this is a child? Yeah. Stage three. Hey, you want to go ride bikes? Jacob, you're 40 years old. I am but a child. I don't want to ride bikes with you.

Crusty demons be damned. I shan't be riding bikes with you. I am Rensme. Stage three. They become intimate friends, meaning their feelings for each other are changing into romantic feelings. This stage may or may not happen to the imprintee, but the imprintor will fall in love with his imprintee.

They will not see any other woman. The imprintee is all he cares about, and he will love her even if she rejects him. That's... Stage four, Mason. Oh, no, there's another stage after the weird stage that everything went wrong. When the imprintee is old enough,

the shapeshifter's feelings will grow into romantic love. Now, you might be like, what about rejection? What about if the person being imprinted on by a monster is like, I don't fucking like this. Get away from me. Haven't you read the book or seen what might be a movie? She's just not that into you. Exactly.

So what would happen if a wolf is rejected by his imprintee is unknown. By the way, it's mostly a male thing. There is one female shapeshifter in the group, and we don't know the law behind that as of yet. So keep your eyes peeled for further episodes of this show yeah we'll make we'll make it up we'll do a deep dive at some point yeah though this is assumed to be virtually impossible that being being rejected okay the imprinter is deemed to be the perfect match to the imprintee he will be anything she may want or need making rejection unlikely should it happen, the imprinter may feel unspeakable pain

and may even want to commit suicide. I mean, I'm not an advocate for suicide. It's terrible. But I think that's maybe best case scenario. This is pretty yuck all round. I don't like it. I reckon it should say if the rejection happens, just there's plenty of other wolves in the forest, isn't there? There is pretty yuck all round. I don't like it. I reckon it should say, if the rejection happens, just there's plenty of other wolves in the forest, isn't there?

There's some wolves in the forest. Some wolves in that forest, you know? Just a regular wolf. Yeah. Because you're sort of a wolf. I mean, I'm not happy with that either, but I don't know. I'm drawing lines here I don't like, basically. How about this?

Regular lady. Okay, there we go. Maybe you meet her at the bar or something. So you might have noticed that actually we see the actor Mackenzie Foy who was born I think in the year 2000. You're going to see her more in the next movie. Okay. Right, where she plays the young

Rismis. Rismis? Swismis. Swiskmisk. So basically what they did here, because she was a child, the visual effects team used a Lola projection rig to age up Mackenzie Foy during the imprinting scene. They used footage of an 18-year-old model running and digitally aged a cyber scan of Foy,

then 10 years old, to match the model's mannerisms. The team used similar software that the companies used to age. To de-age the mum? Well, that, and to age and locate missing children. That's another layer of creepiness to this outfit. Many of whom ran into the forest to find Wolf brides and or husbands Did they use that technology

Because Bella's mum In the flashback sequences looks a lot like Kristen Stewart Did they use the technology Did they use technology Or did they just yell at the actor And go look younger Get rid of those wrinkles.

We'll slap them off your face. Anyway, it's time for Breaking Dawn VR, part one. I'm excited. Robert Pattinson took a boat driving lesson, so he would be able to drive the boat in the honeymoon scenes. Despite taking lessons, he crashed the boat. Love it. You like sexy stuff?

Yes. Not this sexy I mean under normal circumstances yes But I have been traumatised by this movie So no but you're going to do it anyway So whatever man The sex scene between Edward and Bella Originally caused the film to receive an R rating by the MPAA

The scene had to be reshot and edited to receive a PG-13 rating However according to interviews Robert Pattinson and director Bill Condon Blamed Kristen Stewart's wild thrusting during filming. That's fun. That is fun. There were over 1,400 special effects shots in this film. Where do you think all the effort went?

All of the effort went into where Bella's mum lives, which is an entirely CGI tropical paradise slash garden of some sort. Did you see that place? Yeah, I did. Did you see it? What was it? She lived in a studio set? Yeah, she lives in garden of some sort. Did you see that place? Yeah, I did. Did you see it? Yeah. What was it? She lived in a studio set?

Yeah, she lived in front of the volume that they used in Lucasfilm. That's terrific. Yeah, yeah. Where did it all go? Kristen Stewart, most of which was used on Kristen Stewart to achieve Bella's pregnancy appearance. You know, she's like Captain America skinny. She's like, oh, I'm sick.

Oh, there's a monster in me. Are we killing this or not? What about this one? Go on. Bella's body was a prosthetic from the shoulders down in the birthing scene. There was an opening in the table so Kristen Stewart could comfortably lay down underneath the tabletop while allowing her head and shoulders to be visible. To achieve the movement of the prosthetic limbs, a puppeteer was also under the table controlling the limbs.

Was it Frank Oz? It was Frank Oz. That's amazing. And he did the voice of her body. All the creaks and snaps. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As a brooch. Also, I looked into this because I was like, huh.

Because it was a full moon at the time of the wedding. Oh, yes. And like lunar wise, I wanted to know whether they got that accurate. So I looked at the wedding invitation. I did a bit of a deep dive. This is my own trivia, Mason. This is original research. This is original research. Uh is original research. The wedding

takes place on August 13th in 2011 in Forks, Washington. So I looked up a lunar calendar and adjusted the date and time for this particular time period and setting and yes, it was a full moon. So kudos to everybody in this film. That's amazing. Yeah. That's amazing. Box office.

This made $712 million which makes it the second highest of the franchise. We'll come back to which is the highest maybe another time. Very exciting. It's the next one. That's the next one. But it did, however, have a bigger budget of $127 million. Anyways, I fucking hated this.

This was terrible, awful, upsetting, and it's boring. At least maybe there'd be a good action scene where I'd go, at least there was a good action scene. It's a real grind. Fuck all of this. Everybody should be in jail. Nobody was happy, like at any point. Like she's like, Bella's like, oh my God,

the only thing I've wanted to do is get married and I want to be a vampire or whatever it is. And then she's like, then they have a miserable honeymoon and she gets miserable prego. Then they tear her to bits. She's going to die. They rip her open. Yep she gets miserable prego. Then they tear her to bits. She's going to die. They rip her open. Yep, stab her with poison.

There's a weird, a man falls in love with a baby. Look, it's all bad. It's all, did the fans of the book series want this? Are they like, this is, were they coming out of the cinema like, yes, this is what we wanted, perfect. Look, if I was Edward, I would kill Jacob. Wow. Because you have to, right?

He's a vampire man. This is a full grown man. He's going to be around forever. Falling in love with to, right? He's a vampire man. This is a full-grown man. He's going to be around forever. Falling in love with a baby. He's never going to disappear. You just have to kill him. You have to kill him. Yeah.

Anyways, next week. We wrapping this up, I guess. We wrapping this up. We got to see it through to the end, yeah. We hope you've been enjoying this, I guess, if you can. If you can, see yourself to enjoying this, yes. This has been Caravan of Garbage. We do this every week. If you do actually you can see yourself to enjoy this this has been Caravan of Garbage we do this every week

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that actually comes out there a day early on Sunday as opposed to Monday. But also you can listen to our podcast. Nothing sus. Nothing sus. Regular stuff. Regular content, yes. All right, everybody. Catch you later.

Grabbed our jam, you guys. We'll see you next week. And goodbye. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want. It's up to you. FX's The Veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship

between two women who play a deadly game of truth and lies on the road from Istanbul to Paris and London. One woman has a secret, the other a mission to reveal it before thousands of lives are lost. FX's The Veil, starring Elizabeth Moss, is now streaming on Disney+.